Get the full episode at: http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult This week we're covering an interesting Jesse Watters segment in which he reads his mom's disappointed texts live on Fox News. For fun? For penance? As a display of suffering? Also, deleted scenes from our Black & Blue episode, including trailer talk, a shoehorned romantic ending, and some truly bizarre imdb reviews Music: Integrity - Abraxas Annihilation
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| And for this segment, we're going to be talking about one of his segments on The Five, and I think it's best if I just let Jesse Waters intro the segment himself. | |
| A new edition of Mom Texts! | |
| And we have so many. | |
| This is just part one. | |
| Part two is tomorrow. | |
| She's been on a real tear. | |
| Number one. | |
| Jessie, stop making sweeping statements about individuals you don't know. | |
| You are sounding like Joe McCarthy, an individual you clearly need to undertake some research about. | |
| Weren't you a history major? | |
| Wow. | |
| Ouch. | |
| That's your mother? | |
| Oh yeah. | |
| Okay. | |
| So, stopping right there. | |
| In case you couldn't make out what was going on, this is a segment, you know how like, I think it's Jimmy Kimmel, has a segment where celebrities read mean tweets about themselves? | |
| Yeah, yeah. | |
| I think it's Kimmel. | |
| This is a Water's World segment where Jesse reads concerned tweets from his own mother. | |
| Not even tweets, texts. | |
| These are private messages. | |
| Excuse me. | |
| That's correct. | |
| Concerned personal texts. | |
| A mother worried about the direction her son's life is heading in. | |
| And this is used as, like, content for Jesse Watters' show. | |
| And the way I said that maybe makes it seem like I'm worried that he's exploiting his mother. | |
| I don't think that's what's going on here. | |
| In any other context, that is what will be happening, but because his mother is his mother, who we learned is pretty great, it's not the same thing. | |
| She seems pretty cool. | |
| No, the more confusing or concerning part of this segment is just, I don't understand why he would do it. | |
| Yeah. | |
| I don't, I don't really... All he's saying is like, I'm so fucked up, even my mom thinks so. | |
| I don't really follow, like... | |
| The idea behind the, like, celebrities read mean tweets about themselves thing is that, uh, those are jokes. | |
| Like, the celebrities are reading, like, roasts about themselves. | |
| Like, you look like a bowling ball in a picnic basket with a wig on top. | |
| You know, whatever. | |
| Like, there's some, like, element of joke or humor in this. | |
| This is just literally, like, you're sounding kind of like a political demagogue, and you're not really, uh, you're getting a little histrionic on camera, Jesse. | |
| I'm worried about, like, your reputation, about your, I don't know, your very soul. | |
| Yeah. | |
| You're smarter than this. | |
| And he doesn't even riff on it? | |
| No, like I had to cut that off really quickly so he didn't just start reading the next text. | |
| The only content is just him reading his mother's disappointment and then everybody like laughs at what a firebrand this mother is and then they move on to the next one. | |
| That's the laugh line. | |
| The laugh line is just like, like, hey, you're really starting to sound like out of your mind. | |
| And they're like, oh, oh, mom. | |
| Mom just doesn't get it. | |
| Wow. | |
| She's a real pistol, that one. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Jesse, stop making sweeping statements about individuals you don't know. | |
| You are sounding like Joe McCarthy, an individual you clearly need to undertake some research about. | |
| Weren't you a history major? | |
| Yeah. | |
| Dude, if my mom sent me this text, I would be gutted. | |
| Yeah, you'd have to really reflect. | |
| I would be emotionally crippled for like half a week. | |
| Easy. | |
| Easily. | |
| My mom was like, what are you doing? | |
| You sound awful. | |
| You sound like a fascist on TV, or you sound like a demagogue. | |
| You sound like an ignorant fool. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Okay. | |
| Right, mom? | |
| Because coming from a lot of people, you'd be like, all right, cool, fuck off. | |
| But it's your mom. | |
| Who, in this case, you know, he seems to have a relationship with, he seems to have like I mean, there's some sort of loving base there, you know? | |
| She cares about him, obviously. | |
| Yeah, we can go further. | |
| Their relationship kind of fleshes out across a couple more of these texts. | |
| The next one is, I hope your squad criticism can be just a tad more measured today. | |
| Perhaps try not to communicate such disdain for diversity. | |
| Please don't sound like an old white guy who lacks any understanding of otherness. |