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Oct. 29, 2019 - Minion Death Cult
59:53
HALLQWEEN

For this halloween, we explore the living nightmare that is the Qanon movement, and how now that they're awake, they are unable to enjoy everything from their favorite holidays, to TV shows, to owls. Come see us on tour: http://miniondeathcult.com Support the show and get every bonus episode at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult Music: Made Out Of Babies - Cooker  

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Time Text
The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascistphonia today, so stay tuned.
We're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
Stay tuned guys.
We'll show you exactly what it looks like when people are going to get you.
Oh, they're in Bartholston.
Stay tuned.
I'm Alexander Edward.
Or-- And I'm Tony Boswell.
And we are Minion Death Cult.
The world is ending.
All Hallow's Eve is responsible.
It's a special time of the year when the veil between the boomers and our earthly plane is at its most thin and threadbare.
And their evil portents can more easily penetrate to our earthly plane.
And we're documenting it.
What's up everybody?
We have a very special spooky Halloween episode for the listeners out there.
No politics, really.
Just spookiness.
Just spooky and silly today for everybody.
Before we get into the episode though, gotta have to go plug that tour again.
Alright, we're touring with Street Fight Radio.
It's coming up quick.
West Coast tour.
11.9 in Seattle.
11.10 in Seattle again.
11.9 is an undercover boss live commentary with Street Fight, which should be a lot of fun.
Yeah.
Ask me.
Awesome.
Which is if you're not familiar, the boss or a CEO of a company goes undercover in order to slum it with his low level employees in order to prove that, no, he's actually a good person and cares about them.
Like, you know, after going undercover and seeing how much it sucks to like actually have to serve food or sweep floors or work on a factory line, he's all going to give them a raise.
And, Just kidding.
He's gonna like throw them a pizza party or something afterwards because now he sees them as human.
Oh my god, they're people and they need to eat every once in a while.
Pizza party for everybody.
That's gonna be a lot of fun.
He's gonna buy one employee a Hyundai Sonata, a used 1998 Hyundai Sonata.
So they can get to work on time.
Yeah, and there'll be some sort of like, I don't know, season ticket, what do you call it, like wait list for the Hyundai.
So you can put your name in and then like once every year you'll get to use the car to come to work.
1110 at the Clock Out Lounge.
1111 in Portland, Oregon at Kickstand Comedy.
November 13th in Oakland, California.
November 15th in Los Angeles.
I mean, not our hometown, but close enough.
It wishes it was our hometown.
Yeah, I wish we could be like doing the Riverside Municipal Auditorium or something like that.
Absolutely, yeah.
Or like the Redlands Bowl.
That would be cool.
But no, we'll be in L.A.
at the Virgil, November 15th.
We got some friends in Southern California.
Why don't you come see us sometime?
Hey, come on down and see us at that time.
And then finally on November 18th, we will be in San Diego at the historical Che Cafe.
Super excited to perform at a legendary hardcore punk DIY venue that would have been shut down if not for like actual occupying protests that happened.
Do you remember when that happened?
Yeah, totally.
That was awesome.
Yeah, they were trying to shut that shit down and people just occupied it for like two months and then they didn't do it.
And we're so glad.
Just so that we could perform there.
It's gonna be cool being able to head walk at Shea during our own show.
And not during someone else's show, so watch out for that.
Yeah, I'm gonna do the head walk thing where you just jump from the rafters' feet first and land on like three people and then say, did you see me head walk?
And they'll be like, I saw you like almost kill a couple people.
Yeah.
Dude, you might go to jail after this actually.
That was all caught on tape.
They're not doing well.
That would probably be a good place to get arrested at the show you're performing where there's like anti-cop posters everywhere.
Yeah.
That would go over real nicely.
Yeah, you've been making fun of cop rap for an hour.
Yeah, so come out and see us on tour.
You can buy tickets at MinionDeathCult.com.
There's a link to the Street Fight page in order to buy tickets.
You can see the poster there, MinionDeathCult.com.
Also, we have another spooky special surprise for listeners tomorrow, I believe.
There will be a special episode with the Antifada coming out on both of our feeds, so stay tuned for that.
You can listen on this feed or on the Antifada feed, you know, but why not give us the download, really?
Yeah.
You're already here, just keep that podcast app open for 24 hours and then you'll see that episode and you can just click play.
It'll be much easier for everybody, I think.
Yeah, great app.
It's gonna be fun and we shared some funny personal stories.
They were pretty good, so worth listening for that.
You will find out the origin of Tony and me being best friends.
You'll find out exactly how that happened.
It was a physical thing that happened that made it come true.
Yeah, it's true.
It wasn't just like we started hanging out more, doing the podcast together, gradually became like more personally connected, you know, sharing more intimacy with each other.
No, there was like a single physical action that determined that we were now best friends.
And we discovered that on that episode.
We never really talked about that on the show because we didn't even realize that that was what did it.
That was the magical, what do you call it, that was the ceremony that ushered in our friendship.
Yeah, that was when the torch was lit.
Yeah, very fun.
Very grateful to the Antifata, which is a wonderful podcast, for doing that thing with us.
Okay, so we're still in the month of October, so now's the time to sign up for Patreon if you haven't already.
You sign up to patreon.com slash MinionDeathCult, P-A-T-R-E-O-N dot com slash MinionDeathCult, and you get a bonus episode every week.
If you subscribe at the $5 level, you get a bonus episode every week and a pack of stickers.
And we haven't really said this on the show.
Oh, I guess we have.
You get a nice little piece of hand-drawn artwork from Tony Boswell himself.
Somebody said, I didn't know we get notes in the stickers.
And I have nothing to do with that.
Don't blame me.
That was all Tony's idea.
So when it backfires and the note is like, I don't know, offensive to you, or just, you know, you don't really like artwork or whatever, that's Tony's fault.
He didn't approve that with me before deciding to do that.
It's true.
I didn't run in and buy them.
I decided, you know what?
Because you were going to try to stifle my creativity, and I'm not going to have that.
um so i also like most of the most of the the cards too i also like would rub on my foot so you have a bit of foot essence in there okay that's free that's that's absolutely free like we used to charge a lot more for that but now it's free so you're welcome i don't think that's like an enticement to the listener oh you don't understand the power of foot essence
Like, I mean, I understand, like, you're talking about, like, foot fetish and everything, but is, like, foot rubbings, is that part of the foot fetish?
I would feel like that would be a different experience than, like, seeing or touching a foot.
You let me know, uh, after you release, you know, several blockbuster hits, uh, one of which was recently featuring star Brad Pitt.
And these are blockbuster hits of just you rubbing your foot on a picture of Brad Pitt?
People like me, people like me have success through foot rubbings.
Okay.
All right.
Me, just basically me and Quentin Tarantino, we just, we rub, rub feet on things and it makes them more powerful.
You could do a literal foot rubbing where you just put like a piece of paper over your foot and then take a charcoal pencil and do a foot rubbing that way.
People get the physical rubbing but also the visual rubbing.
They wouldn't work on my soft supple feet, sorry.
Alright.
Okay, that's a good sell.
Now you're really selling it.
Yeah, I got you.
Yeah, so if you subscribe this month, everybody subscribe to the Patreon by the end of October, we'll get a chance to win one of those dumbass coins featuring AOC, Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren, or Joe Biden.
There will be four winners.
We'll draw them randomly from everybody who supports us on Patreon at the three to five dollar level.
And they're worth exactly zero cents.
So don't try to spend it.
It will not be won't work.
Yeah, I really working like a coin machine Maybe we'll try that out.
Yeah, maybe you might get 25 cents out of it.
It's about the size of a quarter They really missed an opportunity not to do like a Sacagawea dollar with Elizabeth Warren Yeah Kind of would have been the obvious thing to do.
Yeah.
Okay.
So thanks for everybody supporting the show, getting those sweet bonus episodes every week.
We're going to try to, I think we're going to be releasing them while we're on tour too.
We're recording back episodes that will be scheduled on tour.
So you will not go without content, even if you don't live on the West Coast.
All right, on to this episode.
Okay, so this is just to spook them up.
This isn't like a normal political in the weeds, you know, talking about theory, talking about global geopolitical consequences of American foreign policy or even domestic policy.
No, this is just a fun, scary, spooky episode for everybody.
Yeah.
So for this fun, spooky, scary episode, we're going into the dark nether realms of the QAnon Follow the White Rabbit Facebook group.
Our first post on this spooky journey is from Raquel Nakeen, who says, Before I was wide awakened, I would have thought this was just cute Halloween decorations.
Now it just completely disgusts me and makes me sick to my stomach.
And they've shared a video of an animatronic Halloween decoration that is a spooky witch dangling a toddler over a cauldron.
Dangling her back and forth over the cauldron as if to say, you're going in this thing.
I wish I could be there when, like, Raquel's taking her kids trick-or-treating and comes upon this house and she's just like, this makes me sick!
God, I wish I hadn't- You people make me sick!
I'm sick to my stomach!
God, I wish I hadn't have put little Jenny's hair in pigtails today.
I know these people don't know what you're saying because they're lemmings, but I know and I'm sick.
I'm just sick about it.
Um, and this is like, this witch is like kind of a cool, scary witch.
You know, it's not like a green Wizard of Oz witch.
It's like a pale, hook-nosed, villainous face, uh, dirty witch with like a bone necklace.
Looks pretty cool.
Yeah.
So something that, you know, would have been cute except for what Raquel knows now.
She knows that this is a real thing that the elites are doing to children everywhere.
They're kidnapping them and dangling them over cauldrons before they harvest their brains for adrenochrome.
And there's just, I don't know, so many people out there just like useful idiots to these people.
Doing the elite's propaganda for them by either knowingly or unknowingly putting these gross symbols and actions just on display for everybody to see.
Well, I mean, that's actually the smart thing to do is you have to put these on your lawn so that when they're passing through the streets, when the sun is, the moon is in the right place, uh, kidnapping the children, they'll know that your house is protected because you're aware.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, they'll probably think like, oh, there's no kids there anymore because they already got cooked up into a... Because they're also eating the children.
Yeah.
It's kind of like you put one of these in your front yard.
It's kind of like, uh, throwing a pair of shoes over the telephone wire.
Yeah.
Like this is like our turf here.
Melissa McDyde says, same, you know, because before you were awake to like the horrors of what Hillary Clinton and Huma Abedin are doing, this was all just, you know, innocent fun, you know, dangling children over cauldrons, cutting off kids' faces.
It was all just like silly fun.
But now that you're awake, you can't help but see a more sinister message in these sort of apparitions and displays.
And Melissa McDyde says, Same!
I can't watch movies the same, look at decorations the same, or look at society the same.
I always loved the movie Monsters, Inc.
Now it makes my blood boil.
Which took me a second, until I was like, why Monsters Inc?
And then, like you pointed out, yeah, the whole point of that show is stealing child energy.
You're literally scaring children in order to harvest an energy source from them while they think they're sleeping safely in their beds.
You go into their bedrooms late at night and you just spook the Jesus out of them and uh you can power power this corporeal form for another 50 years.
Yeah that's that's amazing like especially because you know Monsters Inc is one of those so such beloved canon now to these people like I'm looking at Melissa's um Melissa's profile picture and like I would I bet a million dollars if she could she'd have an annual a Disney annual pass for sure.
Yeah she looks like some sort of Ariel or Little Mermaid in her profile pic.
So she has to be incredibly woke to go against Monsters Inc.
What if like, okay so the premise of Monsters Inc is scaring children right?
This is like how they get their source of power for the city, their entire society I suppose.
But if you watch And I don't know if you're, I mean, if you're listening to this show, you're probably familiar with like the QAnon conspiracy theory, which is that the elites are harvesting adrenochrome from the brains of children in order to, like, live longer.
And the way they do that is by frightening the children first.
So that they have heightened levels of adrenochrome in their brain when you harvest the pineal gland or whatever it is.
It's kind of like that urban legend about how, uh, like foreign countries will torture dogs before eating them because it makes the meat taste better.
Oh man, I've never heard that and I feel like that's totally in my lane.
Yeah, you should.
I mean, yeah, you feel free to use it in your vegan propaganda now.
Feel free to use that racism to your benefit.
Hey, before you eat that burger, did you know that they torture dogs in other places?
And then that will totally work every time.
I'll change the world.
Yeah.
I mean, it kind of, it kind of backfire because they'd be like, well, our cows are treated humanely.
They're not tortured at all.
They're just forced to live in a three by five pen.
Yeah.
So, but if you watch the whole thing, if you're not too spooked by Monsters Inc, a very scary, frightening movie, if you're able to like hang in there to the end, you'll see that they discover that making children laugh is actually an even more efficient, more powerful form of energy.
Yeah, yeah.
So that leads me to wonder if Hillary Clinton, you know, or George Soros ever finished that movie, are they just going to start doing stand-up comedy in front of these kidnapped children?
If anything recently has made me think that might be possible, it is Hillary Clinton's Twitter feed.
So maybe that is possible.
That's what she's doing.
She's prepping the nation's children on Twitter to increase their levels of adrenochrome production by, I don't know, threatening a second presidential run.
Or a third, rather.
And I mean, I think she can just get the giggles through, like, Through like Alexa and Siri, so she's probably collecting all the energy.
Yeah, I mean Twitter's listening to you.
Facebook is listening to you laugh at Hillary Clinton, and that's just what she wants.
You know, why the fuck did Twitter ask for permission to use my Bluetooth the other day?
Is this a serious question?
Yeah, I don't know why they would need my Bluetooth.
That was weird.
Well, so you can do like type to text on Twitter, or you can record video on Twitter.
Oh, okay.
And if you're like, have a Bluetooth in there, that's one way to get audio into there.
I don't recommend it, but... No, I said no.
Yeah, that's a good, it's a good thing to say to that.
Yeah, yeah.
I just thought it was really bizarre.
Oh my god!
Yeah?
No, go ahead, go ahead.
Okay.
I just realized something about her profile picture that's important.
Okay.
She's like... yeah, sorry.
Go ahead.
What do you want to do?
What do you want to do here, Tony?
Well, she's scared of, like, decorations, but she's wearing, like, Halloween makeup in her picture, and the Halloween makeup is a zipper going across her face, and it's being unzipped, and her skin under is green.
Oh wow, that is what it is.
Yeah!
She's literally going as a reptilian.
See?
Yeah!
Okay, so... This is interesting because this post is from a year ago.
This post is from September of 2018.
So, Melissa's comment here, same, I can't watch movies the same, look at decorations the same, or look at society the same, because now she's awake to what's really going on.
Well, this profile picture is her modern profile picture.
It's her current profile picture.
Yeah.
They got to her.
They did.
She's given over her soul to the reptilians and now she's one of them.
This is amazing.
Yeah, it's incredible, like, she's so, she's very, she's a very Halloween person.
This is, I think, the first, like, face turn we've seen on this show.
Somebody, I mean, except for Kanye, I guess, but we're seeing this in, like, real time, almost, you know.
This is somebody who used to be like, I don't know, a warrior for truth, a warrior against darkness, and now we clearly see that that's not the case anymore.
She's dressed up for Halloween as a fucking reptilian shedding her skin.
That's amazing.
Yeah, she's parading around now, rubbing in our faces.
Other than Monsters, Inc., uh, Ernest Scared Stupid might have also been a warning to us.
Oh, true.
Yeah, yeah, that was pretty out there.
The elites are scaring your children so they can harvest adrenochrome from their brains, which then makes them stupid.
That movie was one of, like, The best ones ever.
Yeah, it's a good one.
I like all the Ernest movies.
I remember being like legitimately a little bit scared of that movie.
I mean, yeah, it's like his face is really weird.
Yeah, those monsters are kind of scary.
Um, but yeah, that was, that was kind of early though, you know?
So that was, not a lot of people were woke then, that's for sure.
Yeah.
Um, Tara Butler says, I feel the exact same way.
Music, movies, TV shows all make me sick.
My granddaughter wanted a t-shirt with the words pizza party and a slice of pizza on it.
I scared her when I snapped out.
No!
Yeah, you did?
I don't know what I would do if Penny was like, yeah, I saw this shirt and I was like, can I get it, Grandma?
And Grandma freaked the fuck out.
She said something about pizza.
She said, like, no more pepperonis in this house.
Yeah, we don't say either P word in this house.
No.
It was really scary, Dad.
I was scared of Grandma.
I was watching Family Matters, and Urkel came on screen and said that he liked cheese a lot, and my grandma threw her chancla at the TV, breaking it instantly.
That was a thing, right?
Urkel liking cheese?
I figured out that the origin of cheese humor Is from Urkel himself.
Remember how funny it was that he liked cheese?
Yeah.
Yep.
Forgot about cheese humor.
Yeah.
I mean, did, did I do that was such a good slogan, such a good, you know, uh, catchphrase for him that we all kind of forgot about.
I like cheese.
Yeah, that was totally part of it.
That was a big part of it and it was so fucking funny that that just became a joke.
Yeah, aspirin generation of random cheese panda humor.
Yeah, I Like Cheese was like the I'm Rick James bitch of the late 90s and early 2000s.
Yep.
It was like the Lil Jon What of that era.
Of that era.
That was it.
I liked Cheese.
Who else liked Cheese?
Wasn't there a cartoon character that really liked Cheese?
I was thinking of the Goof Troop scene where they have the Leaning Tower of Cheesa.
Yeah, that was also formative for a lot of us.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Yeah, I feel like that was definitely a thing, though.
I'm picturing, like, nuggets of cheese in a pile that some cartoon character is, like, going to town on.
Is there, like, a Doug character that enjoyed cheese for some reason?
Yeah, I feel like, like, Scooter probably liked cheese.
Yeah, I can see that.
There was some character in some cartoon who liked cheese a lot but it didn't even like look like cheese when they were eating it.
Yeah.
Can't even wear a frickin' shirt with the phrase pizza party on it because grandma knows what that means.
Yeah.
It's not appropriate for children.
We all know that pizza parties are not okay for kids.
Grandma, yeah, hi, I'm just calling you from my field trip to Washington, D.C.
What am I wearing?
I'm wearing my Ninja Turtles backpack.
It's got a big slice of pizza and the turtles on the back.
Just dripping with cheese.
Dripping with cheese.
And we're all listening to Rockefeller Records throwing our diamonds in the sky.
Just having a great time, Grandma.
Grandma?
Getting some shrieking on the line.
Yeah.
Angelina Countess Bieber says, wasn't the story about Hansel and Gretel basically our pedovore problem now?
Sick times when twisted fairy tales are actually our reality.
The thing from this comment that blew my mind just because we knew what it meant right when you read it.
Apparently pedivore is a word and I'm assuming it means for people that eat baby.
Yeah.
Yes, absolutely.
Now anyone searching, now thanks to iTunes, like, scan for words or phrases used in the audio of a podcast, you can search pedivore and find Minion Death Cult.
Yeah, it's kind of a bummer.
Yeah, this is not a word like you want to type on the internet.
No.
Also, I think it's like a fetish word.
I don't think, like, they're trying to warn about actual, like, pedovores, but that just seems like a deviant art tag.
Like, that's all that's going to come up if you search for that online.
Yeah, just don't ever do it.
Um, yeah, sick times when twisted fairy tales are actually our reality.
And I went to see The Lighthouse over the weekend and there was a trailer for a sick and twisted Hansel and Gretel movie that's coming out.
So that's gonna be fun.
That's gonna be a fun time to watch that happen to this Facebook group.
Gloria Towell says, Why I don't celebrate Halloween.
Haven't for years.
Dot dot dot dot dot.
People just don't understand, like Wicca, they think it's a lighter side of witchcraft.
If it's equal, same as Halloween, dressing them up like Barbie dolls or whatever, it's celebrating Satanism.
So, no matter what you're dressed as, you're still celebrating Satanism.
I would say don't dress up like a Barbie doll because you're celebrating the patriarchy.
Yeah.
So, I don't know.
Difference in tactics, I suppose, Gloria.
Kate Holland Stown replies, No, you are incorrect about this.
There is a light side and a dark side to everything.
Wiccans are about loving the Mother Earth and doing no harm.
There are no blood sacrifices of any kind.
I know this from much research and experience.
Please do not share this kind of ignorance.
And then Gloria replies, then why are you sharing that kind of ignorance?
That's a good one.
Mother Earth, dot dot dot, give me a break.
Earth is not a mother, it's a planet.
You fucking idiot!
Actually, NASA scientists reclassified Earth as a mother in 2015.
A lot of people didn't hear about it.
There are only seven planets in the solar system.
We have seven planets, one mother, and one exoplanet?
What is Pluto now?
Dwarf planet?
Yeah, dwarf, something like that.
Planet though, you know, I'm not gonna do it.
Just planet.
I remember this awful, this is an awful uncle joke.
And I apologize, but I remember I had an uncle saying that he didn't believe that Mother Earth was Mother Earth, but then he went to the Grand Canyon.
And I didn't get that for a long time, but then apparently the joke there is that the Grand Canyon's like the Earth's vagina.
Oh, yeah.
And then the mountains are the boobs?
All the mountains are the boobs.
The trees are the armpit hair, and that's why we're cutting them all down?
Yeah, exactly.
the Red Sea is the period what else can we do with this period Pyramids, the pyramids.
There's more boobs.
There's just more boobs.
There's cooler boobs.
There's like different boobs.
Got a wider range of boobs.
It's also weird though when I figure out like that's like, I don't know, there's like other things you could have called the vagina that might have been better than like the Grand Canyon.
Like what?
Like the uh, the trench, the uh... The Marianas Trench?
Yeah.
You think your uncle knew about that?
Uh, that's, I, maybe not.
Probably not.
We literally did go to the Grand Canyon together, so that's probably why, like, that was the joke.
Yeah.
Um, but I was still, like, too young to get it.
I don't know why he thought that was funny.
He saw you spit over the edge of the railing, he was like, you're nasty.
I was like, that's just, you told me to spit all the time, that's okay.
Here's another post, very similar in QAnon, follow the white rabbit.
Which says, anyone else feel different about Halloween now that you are awake?
It's like just almost the same exact words.
I never liked it before, but knowing what I know now makes it worse.
And I still have a kid that wants to dress up as, quote, zombie cheerleader.
Which is tight.
Like, that's cool.
I like that they're going for zombie insert blank rather than like sexy insert blank.
Sure, I mean, it's cool to combine two costumes.
One year I was a thrash metal doctor, and then one of my friends was the cat in the hat, and so I took his hat and I became thrash metal Dr. Seuss.
So that was three costumes, so two costumes pretty good.
Three costumes are, I mean, objectively better, I think.
Yeah, I went to a party the other night and I started the party as a guy in a T.C.
Tugger shirt.
And then midway through the party I turned into a drunk guy in a T.C.
Tugger shirt.
So that's two things right there.
That's pretty good.
Two totally different costumes.
I guess the zombie cheerleader thing, it could be particularly triggering to Shannon because that's what a child cheerleader would look like after its adrenochrome was extracted.
Like a little zombie?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just a shell of a person.
Yeah, she's like seeing a victim of the elites right before her eyes and her daughter wants to be that.
Her daughter wants, aspires to be that.
Horrifying for any parent.
And it's probably, you know, it's because of the, you know, the YouTube hidden messages and YouTube.
Yeah, they're all there.
Slime videos are just full of that.
Charles Bobby Lynn McCall says... That name.
That's a good name.
Yeah.
I'm in a crafting group.
They are posting pics of Halloween deco they are making.
For the most part, I can just blow it off.
But when they start posting deco of Hocus Pocus with signs that say, quote, I smell children, it creeps me out and I do not see it as innocent anymore.
Well, that's because it's not innocent anymore.
It's not.
Well, yeah, we know how evil Bette Midler is just in her personal life.
Is that true?
I mean, I think she's anti-Trump.
Oh, okay, okay, cool, cool, cool.
Did you think I meant, like, literally evil?
Yeah, yeah, I was like, oh, does she suck?
I don't know that.
Yeah, anything else to say about this comment?
No, I love it.
I also just love the idea of that sign being made in the first place, but then someone really taking offense to it, like, in the group.
Like, I don't think it's appropriate that we have signs that say, I smell children.
Yeah, you're not supposed to be smelling children.
We all know what this is alluding to.
And it's like, once you do that, you're the fucking weird one in the group, for sure.
Keep that shit in the Joe Biden group.
Okay?
I don't want to see anything about smelling children in here.
But yeah, it's just... As long as it says smell and not sniff children.
It's so funny how, like,
rotten their brains are that they see this just like cartoonish over-the-top depiction of evil and they're like my god it was right in front of us the whole time yeah this is what the evil people in the world are doing they're like they're dressing up as witches and uh putting the souls of virgins into cats and shit like that i wonder how many of these people have a memory of the movie witches
But, like, they remember it being more of a real thing.
Like, I remember a scene from a documentary where they all took their skin off and cackled.
But it was like, no, that's just the movie.
You just remember the movie, Wishes.
I can't even listen to the song, uh, I Put a Spell on You anymore.
Because of its association with the movie Hocus Pocus.
Also a fear that, you know, it might be played backwards on accident and then I'll be possessed and that's not cool.
That's why you always have to sing along to the song so you make sure the spell's being put on somebody else?
Yeah, yeah.
So you can deflect it?
Yeah.
Um, Rob Metzinger says, well, this may surprise you.
I'm a believer in Jesus Christ died for my sins rise on the third day.
And I do trick or treating.
Yes, we exist.
We're out here.
I believe that one day I will be in heaven with many other truck or traders.
But like, oh man, I just love that.
You're a trick-or-treater too, you got up here?
I knew that we would get through this.
I knew that the Lord would forgive and show us mercy.
Yeah, I mean, part of my express belief says, you know, yes, do not harm other people, there's only one God before you, and you are allowed to trick-or-treat.
Yeah.
You're allowed to truck-or-treat.
Well, I'm only allowed to trunk-or-treat.
What's that?
And that is when the churches have basically like cars in the parking lot with the trunks open and you just trunk retreat and it's like safe because it's the church.
It's a real thing and it's supposed to be less creepy.
It's so dangerous going up to strangers doors that's why you should only approach a stranger's trunk.
In a parking lot, yeah.
Um, yeah, I don't, I mean, you're still, I do trick or treating.
I mean, who is the king of tricks?
The prince of deceit?
Certainly not Jesus.
No, no.
The answer is actually Mary.
Okay, which Mary?
That's a trick question.
Mary Magdalene.
You're quote Virgin Mary.
Oh, okay.
You're quote Virgin Mary.
That's one way.
Oh, you're talking about different, okay, alright.
Either way.
You're talking about different tricks, alright.
Could go either way.
Okay.
I think we both did it there.
Debbie Hanneman Shay says, oh so many things that like she can't enjoy anymore.
TV shows.
This is a good list too.
Owls.
Sheep with horns.
A friend loves anything red and is always looking for red shoes.
Haven't told him he shouldn't.
Hard to enjoy what we thought was simply life.
And John Flecker says we were brainwashed since kids.
It's true.
I can't even enjoy owls anymore.
I love joining a movement where you just can't enjoy literally anything that you used to enjoy.
It's so fulfilling for me personally.
It's totally worth it.
To join a fucking online club where all it does is tell you that every other thing in your life is bad.
I felt the same way about owls after I saw that gif of like The four or five owls like huddled up in a mash and the ones like, like they're all making crazy faces and the ones like swallowing a mouse in the background.
Do you know what I'm talking about?
No, I haven't seen that one.
It's nuts, but it's also horrifying.
Like, it's like, oh man, shit, owls are kind of scary.
Yeah, they just swallow them whole and then they puke up the bones and then they make necklaces out of the bones.
It's fucked up.
Owl pellets.
Yeah.
These are the things she can't enjoy anymore.
TV shows, owls, sheep with horns.
It's like a ram.
Yeah, you know.
You can't just enjoy rams like we're used to.
Can't enjoy a good Satan.
Satan?
Yeah, that's why they don't like him, right?
Because that's Satan.
Well, the Satan is the goat with horns.
Oh, I guess it's sheep with horns.
Why are you building on sheep with horns?
Yeah, that's why.
I thought it was funny.
Oh man, like, yeah, leave this poor sheep alone.
They're all fluffy and cute, they just have horns.
Continue to enjoy sheep with horns, Debbie.
They're fine.
It's okay.
Stay away from the goats, though.
Yeah, yeah.
Do not live deliciously.
Also, goats are like little assholes, so... I mean, when they're little, they're not as asshole-ish.
Baby goats?
Baby goats are not assholes, you're right.
Baby goats fucking rule, dude.
I'll enjoy a baby goat all day.
Once the horns come out, that's when they become the devil, and that's when they become little shitheads.
Yeah.
And then, yeah.
I can't even enjoy a friend who loves anything red and is always looking for red shoes.
Haven't told him he shouldn't.
What is that conversation?
It's Debbie, I'm still thinking about getting some red shoes.
Still looking for some- I haven't found the right red shoes yet, but I'm looking for some red shoes.
I'm gonna do it.
I have no reason not to, and Debbie's just, like, biting her tongue.
Like, do I tell him?
Yeah.
It's like, God, if I just had, if only I had a reason to stop this obsession with red shoes, like if only they were associated with some evil, nefarious plot, uh, that was, you know, built around sacrificing children, then, you know, maybe I could shed this obsession.
He's actually pleading for help.
He like really is having a hard time, but he's losing sleep over the red shoes.
Just give me any reason, Debbie, literally any reason.
And Debbie's like, I don't know.
I don't have the heart to tell him.
It's like, Debbie, I'm begging you.
Tell me about the pedophile cult.
Please tell me about... Please tell me about the pedivores.
I need to know.
Hard to enjoy what we thought was simply life.
And John Flecker says, yeah, we were brainwashed since kids.
So you were like brainwashed since kids to think that TV shows were entertaining.
To think that owls were just an animal.
And sheeps with horns were just an animal.
Red was just a color.
No.
We were fools.
Now you've seen the light and you've removed the brainwashing and realized that, oh no, everything else is bad.
Yeah.
I've finally removed the programming.
I've been deprogrammed from realizing that anything was good.
And now I know it's all bad.
Can someone do like a short list of what is okay?
Like what we can still enjoy as people that are awakened?
Yeah, I think it's just like a Q drop.
You can have your one Q drop a week or whatever it is.
That's the thing you get to enjoy.
I wonder if like Soylent's big amongst the Q community.
It's big in a bad way.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like they drink it?
No, it's, I mean, come on.
You think these people are touching a product called Soylent?
Oh, that's true.
It's like named after a food made out of people, except it's been like portmanteaued to also include the word soy.
That's very true.
It's like, it's like kryptonite for these people.
Maybe, maybe Huel then.
Maybe they're drinking Huel.
Do you think they're drinking that new energy drink Baby's Blood?
I wonder if they like that stuff.
Oh man, baby bottle pops?
Forget about it.
That song that haunts them?
That's their haunted house just playing that song?
They just scare these babies until they pop and put them in a bottle.
Okay, so this is where we had a few detractors.
So I'd say like three quarters of these comments were all like, yeah, Halloween is evil.
It's bad.
Um, either from a Christian perspective or from just a like conspiracy theory perspective.
Um, but then a few people were like, no, it's fine.
I love Halloween.
Like, it's great.
It's just, it's no problem.
Pamela Ray says, nope.
It's till my favorite holiday besides the 4th of July.
I won't let anyone take that away.
I'm 54 and love it!
And then Robert E. Hope says I love Halloween.
The movies, the atmosphere, it's always been my favorite.
Um, and then there were, like, a couple people who were posting GIFs in reply to, like, other people who were just terrified of Halloween.
They were posting, like, that, uh, who's that one guy who's, like, a sex pest, um, from Jurassic Park?
Oh, um, the guy, the charismatic guy that everyone likes?
Yeah, yeah.
Goldblum?
Okay.
yeah yeah they're posting that gif of like Jeff Goldblum is the spooky pumpkin man oh yeah dancing around like just to scare these people which is pretty funny you know i like that yeah um and it got me thinking like
about the Q-Movement and just these different reactions to Halloween that like people and all people who believe in the Q-Movement that there's like some pedovoric conspiracy theory behind the scenes um some people just like Totally, uh, averse, just disgusted by the idea of Halloween, of ghouls and goblins and celebrating that stuff and believing it, that it's real.
And then other people who, like Robert here says, I love Halloween, the movies, the atmosphere, it's always been my favorite.
And it just kind of struck me how the Q movement would appeal to just both of these types of people.
Yeah.
Like, the people who are genuinely terrified of real-life demons and witches and goblins and shit like that.
How it shouldn't be mocked?
Yeah, or people who just, like, enjoy scary movies.
People who enjoy, like, going to Not Scary Farm.
Or, like, one guy was like, no, I like Halloween.
I'm gonna chase my stepdaughter around the house with a bladeless chainsaw.
It's like that guy rules.
Yeah, it's gonna be tight.
And yeah, and it's just like I can see why the Q movement would be so successful because it can appeal to both of those very different types of people.
Yeah, like those two types of people could probably not be any more different at least in their tastes in like consumerist or aesthetic tastes but they're both drawn to this movement and it like struck me that the the Q movement is really just like true crime
uh but but more extensive it's true crime plus because with true crime you're just listening to like the macabre details maybe you're listening to like a little bit of the procedural stuff that goes along with investigating these cases but a lot of it is just like sort of a sick fascination with like the real evil in the world you know which
I don't think a lot of Christians, that would appeal to a lot of Christians or a lot of like at least these, you know, milk toast, straight-laced Christians.
But the Q movement does because it offers like a solution to that evil.
It also like, it also creates like a mandate.
To be aware of the evil, you know?
Because the thing about the Q stuff is it's happening now.
It's not like a true crime thing where they're recalling some murder from the 80s.
It's happening now and they make it like a duty to take care of it.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
It offers a solution.
It offers a way that you can prevent it from happening or stop it from happening or something.
And that's, I think, why it's so successful.
Yeah, absolutely.
Randy Cruz here almost confirming my theory says, says this about Halloween.
I find myself looking for clues of evil!
Well, I saw a man actually dressed up as the devil today, so if that is not a sign that the devil's on his way, I don't know what is.
I mean, it's right there, right in front of you, plain as day.
Like, not even trying to hide it.
Just like, you're like watching the kids go by and you're like, okay, evil, evil, normal, evil, yeah, that one's real evil.
I just, I just am praying for the, uh, The poor kid who decided to dress up as Hillary and is going to go asking for candy someplace and some cute person is going to be handing out the candy and he's just going to be like, I don't know how it's going to go over.
Sorry, we don't have any child candy.
They're going to think it actually is Hillary and she's taking over the body of an 8 year old.
Sue Ellen Van Doon says, so somebody else was like, what are these like child sacrifices you're talking about?
Or like, how is this related?
You know, how is Halloween related to this?
Sue Ellen replies to them, do your research.
These kids who report back, uh, so like witnesses to child sacrifices and stuff.
These kids who report back are used in the rituals and they are the ones who are made to sacrifice the other children.
Time to face reality and deal with breaking your programming.
And so, Aaron says, okay, send me some links.
Educate me.
And then Sue Ellen says, that's not how it works, my friend.
I educated myself.
Without the effort, you won't reap the reward.
It was like, it is not my job to teach you.
I don't have enough spoons for this today.
Yeah.
I have no obligation to teach you, okay?
You just need to learn yourself.
That's not what I'm here for.
I fucking loved it.
I love this so much because, like, the Protestant work ethic in our society is so pervasive that it has even, like, invaded the child sex liberation- child sex cult liberation movement.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Go do the work.
You have to do the work.
Yeah.
Like, I'm not gonna- I'm not gonna hold your hand through, uh, protecting children.
No.
Like if I help you do this, then what's the point?
What's the point of you saving children if I'm the one helping you do it?
Can you imagine being like completely self-taught and also thinking you know it all?
I mean, I think those go hand-in-hand.
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, I love this, though.
That's not how it works, my friend.
I educated myself.
And you won't reap the reward.
Like, the reward is just the satisfaction you get from, like, doing the work and putting your nails to the grindstone.
Using a little elbow grease in order to liberate children and condemn their abusers.
Yeah, you won't appreciate the knowledge if I just hand it to you.
You have to earn it.
Yeah.
You gotta pull yourself up by your own bootstraps here, okay?
I'm not just handing out information about child sex cults.
I will not provide- No, I will not provide you with the link.
Yeah.
Fuck.
And it's... Like, shouldn't... Edward Snowden be like a villain to these people?
Because he just gave out all that information for free?
Yeah.
Like nobody else had to do the work?
How are they gonna, like, really appreciate the information that the government is conducting a warrantless spy operation on the entire country?
No, the information that I value most is information that I personally had to hack into the grid and, you know, de-encrypt, uh, encrypted files and translate from a different link.
You know, I did all the work myself.
That's, that's good.
Um, that's good, but I'd still like to point out that you're like, you have help from like the internet and from the computer that you probably didn't build, you know?
I mean, it's, you didn't build that.
No, I modded the shit out of it though.
The most valuable information, the most rewarding information is just the information that you think up yourself.
I did build...
Um, this keyboard though, this is a custom, uh, mechanical keyboard that I built.
So that makes my information a little more true.
And that's why when I type my information out through that keyboard onto the internet, it also processes more authenticity behind it.
Yeah.
So.
Tight.
Okay.
So this is the last, this is the last comment.
And it's like, I think a positive note, uh, for us to go out on.
Rachel Pell Collins says, it's all in how you choose to look at it.
What is it like being a Christian?
God picks you from the patch, brings you in and washes all the dirt off you.
You may have gotten from the other pumpkins.
Then he cuts off the top and scoops out all the yucky stuff.
He removes the seeds of doubt, hate, greed, etc.
Then he carves you a new smiling face and puts his light inside of you to shine for all the world to see.
Jack-o'-lantern emoji.
And then you decompose much, much faster than you would have had you not been carved.
Yeah.
That's so twisted!
Yeah, it's a great metaphor for being Christian.
You have all your brains scooped out, which is like the yucky stuff.
You know, that's the bad stuff.
And then God just puts a single candle, a single neuron back inside your head, and you're perfect now.
Aren't they saying that God does exactly what they're claiming that Hillary Clinton does to kids?
Oh boy.
Here we go.
Right?
Chops off the top and scoops out all the guts, all the brain matter and stuff?
Yeah, but see the difference is he's scooping out the bad stuff, whereas Hillary Clinton is scooping out that good stuff.
That good good.
Oh, yeah, that's true.
She's taking the good good.
And only leaving the bad stuff behind.
Um, yeah.
So, I mean, you might be scared of Halloween.
You might think it's like, I don't know, too horrifying, too similar to realistic, you know, real demonic cults out there that are actively harming people.
But instead, you can just look at it like God is cutting the top of your head off, scooping out your brains, and carving a smile into your face.
Tonight when I'm carving pumpkins with Penny, I'm gonna tell her that this is exactly what God does when you accept him into your heart.
This is what God's gonna do to you.
Yeah, you pray.
Then we're gonna eat pumpkin seeds.
You say, um, Jesus Christ, I accept you as my Lord and Savior.
Fill me with your light.
I surrender to you.
And then Jesus says, let's put a smile on that face.
That's the best part, too.
Carves you a new smiling face.
It sounds brutal.
Carving a face over your face.
Alright, well that's a great, great little tidbit to go out on, I think.
Thanks so much for listening.
Happy Halloween.
Hopefully it's very safe and not spooky for everybody out there.
You know, the world's spooky enough.
We don't need any sort of spookiness, extra spookiness injecting itself into our lives.
And be safe out there.
Check your kid's candy for hard drugs.
Because they don't like to share that shit.
So, you gotta look yourself.
Come see us on tour.
Check MinionDeathCult.com for the dates and tickets.
Subscribe to the Patreon.
P-A-T-R-E-O-N dot com slash MinionDeathCult.
Write to us at MinionDeathCult at gmail.com, social media at MinionDeathCult on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram.
Join the Facebook group, Minion Death Commandos.
Say what's up.
We're having fun in there.
And thanks for listening, folks.
Bye.
Yeah, thanks a lot.
See ya.
I'm reading in this Politico post in my feed about the Delta Force dog who was injured in the Baghdadi raid.
I was going to send that to you.
I was going to send something.
I was going to send a Trump tweet about that to you.
And Linda says, wow, wish I have him as my pet.
And then Laurel replies, she.
So, uh, Linda, wow, I wish I have she as my pet is what you meant.
Um, Margaret Guth says, uh, beautiful baby should be retired.
He did his job.
Uh, Julia D'Angelo says it's a female dog, by the way.
Kathleen says, what a good boy!
Julia says, except it's a girl.
Real important stuff here.
Karen says, a true patriot unlike the traitors in the White House.
Blessings to this beautiful dog.
Be safe.
So, using the gender neutral dog there.
Well played.
It's the safe way to do it.
It's just such a missed opportunity, you know, because, you know, it's rare that you get to say the word, you know?
It's rare that you get to say it.
It's the technically correct word.
Yeah, I mean, it's the right one.
It's the right word for goodest girl.
Excuse me, that hero is not a boy, that hero is a bitch.
Trump tweeted, like, a picture of the dog has been declassified.
Name of the dog not declassified yet.
We can hope, though.
This is the dog that, like, led the raid.
Yeah, we can hope.
And I mean, that dog is just, God, so much more of a patriot than our current president.
Wish, uh, he was more like that dog.
Yeah, exactly.
More integrity like that dog.
Sue says, so Trump acted like the dog was seriously wounded, but it turns out that it was only a minor flesh wound?
We can't believe this guy and his bullshit.
Wow, what did the dog have bone spurs to, Trump?
Still managed to take down Baghdadi though.
Yeah, what did you do?
That's incredible.
Anita says Trump would not know the difference.
Notice how often he uses dog as an insult.
Now he owes one of his greatest accomplishments to one.
He doesn't know what to do.
He shook.
He so shook.
Trump just like, God, I've used this word as a negative so many times, and now I have to use it as a positive.
This is just so frustrating to me.
I'm so mad right now.
So mad.
I was planning on making fun of the dog for not doing a good job, but now...
My whole world is rocked.
I can't call Rosie O'Donnell a dog anymore.
I'll have to call her a pig.
Oh no wait, that's for our boys in blue.
What do I do?
And that's how we defeat Trump.
Did you know Trump that pigs are actually smarter than dogs?
I'm gonna make hats that say make dogs good again.
Make dogs boys again.
Make dogs good boys again.
I'm sick of this political correctness.
Dogs are just boys.
Even good girl dogs are good boys, okay?
Yeah, I agree with that.
That might be the first, like, real-time content we've ever done.
Yeah.
Unlike Bill Maher, who does it every single week in season.
Damn.
We really gotta step that up.
Yeah.
He also makes the news, so...
Yeah, I mean, I could do that too.
Just say the n-word.
Like a lot?
Like, and just don't back down from it?
Say the n-word, uh, offer Trump money.
Oh!
So!
So!
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