I pray if my flag fell while I was not at home or I had my pillows wrong would take just a second to pick it up or fix the pillows
This week: Kent State Poop Pants Gun Girl gets her server fired for posting about her after work and a FedEx Driver becomes a national hero after making a "patriotic adjustment" to some American flag pillows Subscribe to http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult to support the show and get weekly bonus episodes See us on our west coast tour with street fight: http://miniondeathcult.com Donate to the server fired by Poop Girl : https://www.gofundme.com/f/justice-for-claudelia?utm_source=customer&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_campaign=p_cp+share-sheet
The liberals are destroying California, and conservative humor gone awry... Conservative humor gone awry is going to fascistphonia today, so stay tuned.
We're going to take a few pictures of the desert and how their policies are actually messing it up.
It's not beautiful when you go across that border.
Stay tuned guys.
We'll show you exactly what it looks like when people are going to get you.
Oh, they're in Boston.
Stay tuned.
I'm Alexander Edward.
And I'm Tony Boswell.
And we are Minion Death Cult.
The world is ending.
Your employees' personal opinions on their personal Instagram page are responsible.
We're documenting it.
Is that one good?
Is that ominous enough?
I mean, it's very real.
It's exactly what's responsible this week.
Yeah, it's an earth-shattering revelation that the people who serve you food might have their own opinions about you on their off-the-clock time.
Yeah, yeah.
I was under the impression that every single waitress who brought me food was just in love with me.
Like, I mean, they're bringing me food.
You don't do that to somebody you hate, you know?
Yeah, and they're always calling you hun.
I, yeah, well, sometimes they call me Shug.
Oh yeah, I like Shug.
It's always weird when they go for Babe.
That is weird.
That is weird.
Do you appreciate it?
Well, I did until I realized I did it to the person next to me like five seconds later.
Oh, yeah.
You can't do that.
You gotta separate them.
Every third customer you can call babe.
You can't just be calling them all babe.
A good server makes up an affectionate nickname for each person at the table, I've found.
Yeah, exactly.
If my server calls me sir, and then also calls the person next to me sir, they're getting less of a tip.
Oh, absolutely.
I need a sir, I need a doll, I need a shug, I need a hun.
Yeah.
That's why there's an extra gratuity for parties over 12 or whatever, because you have to remember all those nicknames.
Yeah, it's a customized experience.
Yeah.
Okay, so, uh, we're talking about fuckin' poo pants gun girl from Kent State, Kaitlyn Bennett.
This is the Kaitlyn Bennett who famously, allegedly pooped her pants, and also famously, literally works for InfoWars.
She has her own website called Liberty Hangout.
Supposedly a libertarian organization, right?
She actually has stuck her neck... I don't know, it's not really sticking your neck out.
She has, like, put her foot down about abortion rights, I think?
I think she's said, like, one or two things about abortion rights, but she stays away from that issue because she knows that, like, literally nobody is actually a libertarian.
She has a Facebook page called Kate's Unsafe Space.
And this is like a Facebook page where she posts all her InfoWars clips where she goes around trying to like trigger Antifa by calling them little pussies and stuff like that.
You know, nobody's safe at Kate's Unsafe Space.
You go to a lot of places on the web, but I really admire you for going to a place that, you know, the warning was there in front of you.
There was no secrets here.
You knew you were walking to a place that you could have been in danger.
I was in incognito mode.
At least your feelings.
I was in incognito mode, so none of these barbs could penetrate my psyche.
Nice.
Kate from Kate's Unsafe Space.
Remember, the safe is not... The space is not safe!
For pussies.
For people with emotions.
For people with feelings.
Alright?
Suck it up, Buttercup, when you're on Kate's unsafe space.
Kate writes, I went to eat at Moxie's Grill and Bar-Dallas.
So this is the name of a page on Facebook that she's tagged here.
After the Trump rally.
And come to find out that my waitress, Claudelia, posted this on her Instagram afterwards.
So what she's referring to is a screenshot of like an Instagram story Most likely because it's got the little like it looks like story text over a little typewriter text.
It's a using my favorite text It's a selfie of a girl in bed covering her face like S and her damn H and the text says Y'all, I served Caitlyn motherfuckin' Bennett tonight.
The anti-gun-control-ramen-noodle-head-ass-blonde-racist.
Like, dot dot dot, I kept my motherfuckin' composure!
It took everything I had in me.
So this is a server, professional waitress who had to serve Caitlyn Bennett and by her own admission kept her composure.
Didn't say anything mean to her.
Didn't, I don't know, pour water on her head.
Didn't spit in her food apparently.
And this will not stand!
This aggression will not stand, man!
Because Caitlin goes on to write, imagine being so bothered that you have to serve a conservative that it takes everything in you to keep your composure.
There were thousands of Trump supporters at the rally and possibly millions that live in the Dallas area that she could have to serve one day.
It's so disgusting that she would feel this way about a paying customer and leave me wondering if she did anything to my food and if she is like this towards other conservatives that walk into the restaurant.
So So, yeah?
I mean, for starters, if she's in Dallas, she definitely does serve conservatives all the time.
Yeah.
This is a personal thing, Kate.
This is not about you being conservative.
This is about you being you.
You need to understand that.
This is about you being just the absolute worst person in the world.
Yeah.
And like, you know, no, I mean, that's your gimmick.
Like that's your thing.
Like you like being that terrible person, but apparently you can't stand anyone not liking you just on their personal time.
Yeah.
Uh, Kate, there's updates here.
Kate commented, Claudelia apologized to me and said she was fired.
A number of you are commenting that the restaurant told you the same.
However, the restaurant has not reached out to me at all, which I hope they will do.
I will be leaving up this post so people know how conservatives get treated in public.
But I'm asking that people stop sending her messages.
Oh, that's very considerate of you, Kate.
So... Like you said, fucking crybaby.
Like, what the fuck?
Just an absolute pissbaby.
Absolute baby.
This is like... It's incredible to me that this server apologized to her and was fired.
Yeah.
Like, I mean, A, in my mind, Server did nothing wrong.
Server actually is like, I don't know, one of the bravest people on Earth for facing this demon without saying anything or spitting in her food or whatever.
And then yeah, she gets fucking fi- she apologizes and she gets fired for it.
Like, in this, like, you know, capitalist world we live in where your boss- the workplace is undemocratic, where your boss has all the control, I think it should still be you either apologize or you get fired.
Yeah, it should not be both.
It should be one or the other.
That sucks.
Like, imagine apologizing to Caitlyn Bennett and then still getting fired.
It's like, what was the apology for?
Yeah, I would have to call and like, uh, excuse me Kate, uh, apology redacted?
Yeah, I'd take it back.
Like, I'm sorry for apologizing the first time.
Sorry, by apologize I meant to say suck my dick from the back?
Like, what a wasted opportunity.
This server could have put, like, you know, something in this food.
The server could have seen if her hair was really made out of ramen and poured boiling hot water on her head.
Um, yeah, and so this post had, uh, I don't know, what is it here, uh, about a thousand shares, 7.7 thousand reactions.
Server got fired, server apologized, and Caitlyn still is like, well, I'm just gonna keep the post up, though, to punish the restaurant, to show how conservatives are treated in public, which is not what happened here.
Not at all.
And also, it's because the residents themselves haven't reached out to her and been like, oh here's some gift certificates or some shit.
What do you want?
She just wants everything.
She needs to be liked by everybody while not changing a single thing about herself.
Still being as terrible as she is, but that doesn't mean you can't dislike her.
Doesn't mean you, you know.
Yeah man, and just the irony for this being posted on Kate's Unsafe Space.
Just the absolute irony.
This person did not even say anything to you.
This person served you admirably, did fine, went home and vented to her friends, and you got her fired for it.
You know who really fucking sucks?
Whoever got this post to Caitlyn Bennett.
Yeah.
You should be able to say, like, you know, fuck off Caitlyn Bennett, like, all day long in the privacy of your story, and somebody that fucking follows you saw that and got it to her.
Yeah.
Yeah, that sucks.
Um, yeah, and right here, yeah, uh, show how conservatives get treated in public.
Like, you're not even allowed to have off-the-clock opinions?
Yeah.
You know, because your boss has so much control at work, you're not allowed to just hate somebody, you know, for their actual beliefs, you know, not for the way they were born, or the color of their skin, or anything like that, but just for their behaviors and their beliefs.
You're not even allowed to hate them for that.
Um, and then somebody remi- like, when you're off the clock, like, it's one thing, you know, if you're not, you know, unionized, if you're not a co-op or something, your boss, yeah, obviously does have a, like, an inordinate amount of power to just say, oh, you have to serve that white nationalist or you're fired, or whatever, right?
That's one thing.
But, your off-the-clock opinion should be a different thing, I believe, and then somebody in the Facebook group reminded me that, uh, slaves aren't allowed to be off the clock.
Yeah.
You're just not, you're not allowed to be off the clock.
You're never off the clock, you know.
This server is probably like answering emails and text messages from her boss while she's off the clock, you know.
I do follow somebody and I really love that whenever it goes to the close friends section of her stories, I know it's going to be a gripe about work and I like that.
I'm into it.
Good for you.
Are you in that close friends circle?
Yeah, yeah, I get to see it.
I get to see it, yeah.
But you've said you're forwarding those to her boss, though, right?
Well, yeah, because it's funny because I actually am friends with their boss, like in real life.
So it is kind of bold, but they also know that I'm down, so I would never do that to them.
Wow.
Yeah, it's funny that the other day that those friends were like talking about Talking about their their employees like talking about them in the internet, and I was like oh, yeah I've never seen that that's I follow a lot of your friends a lot of your employees on the internet I've never seen anybody say anything bad about you guys like ever good even though.
I totally have yeah No, that's good.
You're being proactive.
I was like with your line.
Maybe maybe you should consider you know changing some things around And then, uh, Kate gives... Kate gives another update.
The restaurant has taken the time to delete the review tab from their page, uh, because people were leaving hundreds of negative reviews for this restaurant, which we'll get into, obviously.
They've taken the time to delete the review tab from their page but has still not made the time to reach out to me about the situation and wipe my bottom.
I got poop all up in my bottom and they have not wiped.
They have not wiped or powdered my precious bottom.
That is all this whole post is.
It's literally just like wah wah wah wah wah wah wah.
Yeah, it's just the baby version of the Charlie Brown teachers.
Cry, cry, cry, cry.
Cry, cry.
Cry, cry, cry, cry.
Cry, cry.
It does make you think that maybe if the restaurant would have been proactive and reached out to her, would they have still had to fire her?
I don't know.
I think they still would have had to fire her because hundreds of people are calling for this server's blood.
Yeah.
They would have had to fire her for her own safety.
It's so cr- like, I've seen, you know, pylons from both, like, you know, PC libs and from conservatives, but this was like one of the most, like, vitriolic, like, what do you call it, uh, disproportionately vitriolic pylons that I've ever seen.
Mhm.
Like, all this girl said was, I had to fucking serve this person that I hate, but I kept my cool.
I'm proud of myself.
That's it.
Good night, everybody.
And these people are like, no, she deserves homelessness.
She doesn't like Caitlyn.
She doesn't like, like our Kate.
Cause I mean, like, I know I would have been like, uh, yeah, she definitely got a little extra booger in her burger.
Right.
You know, like, something like that.
But this girl was obviously, like, cool and, like, frustrated she had to, you know, be around the existence of Caitlyn, which I would be too.
But, like, yeah, this poor girl, she was so cool.
I hope somebody's reached out and given her a job by now.
Oh, there's a GoFundMe for her.
There's a GoFundMe.
We'll link it in the show notes of this episode and we'll also send her some money from the Patreon.
Yeah, fuck yeah.
But yeah, I want to get back to just the irony right here.
This line, imagine being so bothered that you have to serve a conservative that it takes everything in you to keep your composure.
Imagine being so bothered by blank that you have to post about it and get somebody fired for their opinion.
Imagine being so sensitive.
And then imagine that person also runs a Facebook page called Kate's Unsafe Space devoted to triggering the lips.
And it's like, I'm not pointing out this hypocrisy to try and, like, change the minds of any conservatives who may be listening or whatever.
It's just more of, like, I'm just fucking outraged at this.
I'm outraged at it, but it's also, like, just proof that there is no, like, set of rules, really.
There is no set of principles.
Like, it's just whatever you can do to the opposition, you just do it.
Yeah, regardless of how hypocritical it may be or whatever so never let hypocrisy hold you back from I don't know owning or terrorizing a conservative is what I'm saying Well, I think what she meant by Kate's unsafe space was like it's unsafe for everyone but Kate Yeah, it's her space Um, yeah.
So, uh, what's the other thing right here?
Uh, the girl may have apologized, but they still bear responsibility.
I don't know if anything was done to my food, and none of you have been assured that Trump supporters should feel comfortable eating there.
Oh, can you imagine being like, somebody asking you to put a statement out saying like, listen, Trump supporters can feel safe eating here.
That would suck so bad.
Yeah, you would lose business.
You would lose more business than you would, than it would ever be worth.
Um and I just the girl may have apologized but they still bear responsibility and I just watched Kill Bill again so this just reminds me of like Pai Mei going to the Shaolin temple because the other monk didn't nod to him and like demanding the abbot's neck
In payment for the personal slight, and then when the abbot refuses to put up a sign that says, Pai Mei, welcome here, Pai Mei figuratively slaughters the entire temple with Yelp reviews.
These are Pai Mei levels of pettiness for sure.
Yeah.
So fuck Caitlyn.
Absolute monster.
Terrible person.
If she did something to your food it wasn't anything that bad because you're healthy and like fine like you haven't you know felt ill or that she could have at least like faked and be like I've been having the shits all day.
Yeah she could have done an Andy No thing you know she could have like just taken a picture of her hand over her tummy which I mean a lot of people would have liked you know and she could have just been like ow my my tum I bet it was the food.
I think it was concrete in my salad.
Yeah, and so it's like right here, it leaves me wondering if she did anything to my food.
So you think like this is the first server who's ever had a personal problem with you?
Yeah.
You think this is like the first person who's made you food that has recognized you?
Or do you think that every other server, even though they have recognized you, they just like you?
And this is the first server who just can't stand you for some reason.
Gosh, this one server may have done something to my food.
Like, statistically, a few of your servers have been directly affected, uh, by gun violence and the things that you push.
Yeah.
People hate you, like, and rightfully so.
Like, you need to put on some reality pants here.
Cause, uh, it's yeah, maybe you should stay inside of forever.
And it was funny because like a few people in the comments were like, We're conservatives.
We're better than this.
Like, she's allowed free speech and then just every other conservative was laughing at them.
Oh, that sucks.
Yeah.
They're like, what are you, what are you joking?
We're not better than this.
This is what we do.
This is our thing.
Are you kidding me?
No, we, it was something like there were the responses to those sentiments were something like, we're sick of playing fair.
Just gonna get this one- Give them a taste of their own medicine.
Yeah, give- own this one server out of a job because, I don't know, I was forced to bake a gay wedding cake one time.
Which is now, like, illegal, right?
They don't have to- they don't have to serve gay people anymore, right?
Yeah, I think- basically, yeah.
The Supreme Court ruled that they don't have to serve gay people if they don't want to?
Yeah, no more gay cakes if they don't want it.
But you have to like Caitlyn Bennett if she comes into your store.
Not only do you have to serve her, you have to fucking like her afterwards.
Well, I mean, she's part of a demographic that is like so scorned and, you know, so trotted upon in America as a white woman.
Yeah, and an InfoWars reporter?
Those people are just the subject of ceaseless ridicule.
I mean, they should be.
Let's get into comments here, okay?
Lori Kreisman-Bodwin says, was she nice to you?
Because I'm willing to bet that deep inside she was thrilled to be serving you and loves you like the rest of us do.
She's putting on an act for her Democrat friends.
Also, she's jealous of your hair.
LOL.
Keep up the good work.
If this is a sarcastic comment, this would be great.
Also, she's clearly very jealous of your hair.
It's obvious.
She must be.
Well, I mean, she did comment on it.
She did call it, you know, ramen hair ahead ass.
Yeah.
I love that.
She's just jealous because you're so beloved by the community.
She's just jealous because she doesn't have all the mods on her AR that you have.
Was she nice to you?
Because I'm willing to bet that deep inside she was actually thrilled to be serving the illustrious Caitlyn Bennett.
Just the beautiful, quick-witted, talented, ingenious Caitlyn Bennett.
But she had to save face for her Democrat commie friends on Instagram just in case anyone saw her.
Like smiling next to Caitlyn Bennett, you know, while she was serving her.
She's like, I gotta cover my ass.
I can't lose any clout by serving this, this just glorious woman food.
Um, yeah.
And this, it also reminds me of that take somebody had about AOC and Ilhan Omar's endorsement of Bernie Sanders.
Like, well they probably hate Bernie Sanders because he's like, you know, an old white man who are bad, but they have to pretend to like him.
They have to fake the funk, yeah.
They have to pretend to like him or else all his supporters are going to come after them.
It's also like, I mean, she's working at a fucking bar and grill.
Like, those are not Antifa strongholds.
The girl didn't even seem like overly political on the rest of her stuff that I was saying.
She just seemed like a normal person who is aware of how shitty Caitlyn Bennett is, because that's Caitlyn Bennett's brand, is being very shitty.
Yeah, it's not a secret.
Trey Bender says, if I ever met Caitlin Bennett, I'd be so excited just to meet her that I'd have to take at least 10 pictures and then show her pictures of me and then I'd post up that I met her.
But that's just me.
Why are you showing?
What pictures of you are you showing her?
This is me before the weight gain.
Here's back when I had hair.
Here's me posing with all the friends I have.
And you're looking and it's just him in the crowd at a stadium.
Like a baseball game or something.
These are all my bros.
The whole rose with me.
Actually.
He's like, oh, here's all the other conservative women I'm obsessed with online.
Here's me with Candace Owen.
Here's me with Judge Janine.
You're part of my collection now, Caitlin.
I've almost collected all of the conservative Infinity Stones.
I've got my own squad here.
Once I collect them all, I will get all the likes.
Yeah, once I collect all of you, I'm gonna snap.
And I mean that figuratively.
Like, ten pictures, Trey?
Ten?
You think she has time to take ten pictures of you?
That's, okay, that's funny.
That might be hyperbolic.
Oh, I'd take like a million pictures with her.
The weird part is, and then show her pictures of me.
Yes, so strange.
I kind of want to see that.
She'll be like, I don't need pictures, you're right in front of me.
I don't need to see pictures of you.
Here's me with my Nissan Altima.
Here's the top of my head and a lake behind me.
As you can see, these are aftermarket wheels.
What is... yeah, what is this?
I'd show her pictures of me.
Yeah, he's definitely talking about dick pics.
I guess.
I don't know, man.
Those are two different dicks you just showed me.
Those aren't even... It's like watermarked.
Yeah.
No, it's just the lighting.
This is a black dick.
I've been told that before.
Yeah, I know.
Crazy, right?
Like I said, I'm not a racist.
Listen, I can't be a racist.
I have a black dick.
One of my best dicks is black, see?
It's right here in my role.
Here's a review somebody left.
it.
What don't you recommend about Moxie's Grill and Bar, Dallas?
So this is on Facebook.
This person says, I didn't grab the name.
This person said, I think this is an old guy.
I think this is like a fucking retired guy who's spending his retirement in Caitlyn Bennett's orbit negatively reviewing bars and grills on her behalf to defend her honor.
This person says, you have an anti-American communist server that goes on social media and rants like a fucking snowflake about having to serve conservative, pro-second amendment, pro-life, PAYING CUSTOMER!
Fuck your restaurant and fuck your communist server.
Trump 2020!
Yes, that fucking rant.
That, like, one and a half sentences saying about how she didn't care for the one person.
I fucking hate rants from dirty communists who hate Trump and hate America and go on social media and rant.
It's insane.
These people are so fucking insane.
It's not a rant if it's things you agree with.
It's a declaration, you know?
Also, like you said earlier, she's not even pro-life, right?
I don't think so.
Oh, Caitlin?
Yeah.
I could swear I remember Liberty Hangout posting, like, in defense of Tomi Lahren when Tomi Lahren was saying she was pro-choice or something like that.
Yeah, when she lost her Blaze job?
Yeah, I think Liberty Hangout, like, posted something in support of that, but they're too smart to do that now.
Yeah, totally.
Because I don't think InfoWars is pro-choice.
I think InfoWars is, like, definitely... Because InfoWars is, like, very Christian, right?
It's, like, very godly stuff.
Totally.
That's also where there's very blatant, you know, warnings about all of their vitamins that you can't take them while you're pregnant.
Yeah.
It's too much testosterone.
It'll kill the baby.
They won't be able to handle it.
They'd be too jacked in your stomach.
Jose Javier also says, I just left a review on their page, grinning smiling face.
Uh, and the review says, discriminatory rude staff.
Okay.
And this has, uh, 389 likes.
And then Jose Ortiz says in response, Tony, shut the fuck up.
Hey, Remember when you were showing off how chill Tony was earlier?
Yeah, man.
Well, he's... I mean, that's still pretty babyish behavior.
He's got, like, a little baby brain trying to open the frame still from Monument Valley I have hanging on my wall.
The geometry is just too mystifying to Tony from that app.
It is, yeah.
It's like, this is three-dimensional.
It has to be.
Look at it.
It's weird.
I mean, it's just a testament to the artwork in that game.
It's beautiful stuff.
It really is.
Yeah.
Okay, so Jose Javier left that shitty review about a disrespectful server who was not being disrespectful while they were serving.
Not at all.
I mean, that we know of.
I'm pretty sure she wasn't.
Because it would have happened right then.
Kaitlin Bennett would have, like, live-streamed her walking out of the restaurant.
Yeah.
Being like, somebody was just so rude to me, all because I'm a conservative.
Yeah.
But Jose Ortiz replies to this negative review.
Please don't do that.
You're hurting a business owner for something a stupid server did.
I'm sure the owner slash manager will do something about it.
No need to hurt someone's livelihood.
Completely missing the point.
Getting the point, but for just the wrong person.
The completely wrong person.
Hey, we shouldn't be messing with a person's livelihood.
We only do that to service workers.
This is like when I was working at a bar.
Wolfskill and Riverside.
I'm saying it by name because it's funny to me.
I was working at a bar and we lost someone's debit card.
And I was the last person to touch the debit card.
So they fired me and they told me to my face that the customer was going to be terribly inconvenienced with their lost debit card?
I wonder what a temporary loss of money, what an inconvenience like that would be like.
The manager looked me in the eyes and said, they're gonna have to go to the bank on a Saturday.
Oh my god.
I said, I just lost my job.
I'm gonna have to go to the bank never now.
Yeah.
Yeah, like that's, it's like, totally missing the point.
Totally handled that all wrong.
Everything was handled wrong there.
Like, totally missed the point.
It's like, why didn't you guys just give him a couple free drinks and apologize profusely?
Like, that would have been fine.
Cause it's, cause they don't care about you.
At all.
Yeah.
Um, so that, uh, what you just told me is, uh, like, I guess my worst memory of Wolfskill, but my second worst memory of Wolfskill, and it's a close one.
was the first time I went in there, I was with my stepdad on my birthday because he wanted to get some fancy drink or something.
And we were at Salted Pig, and it's right next door.
Same owner.
I'll keep that in mind if I'm ever...
Who's also running for, I think, Mayor of Riverside right now.
So, fuck that dude.
So, we go over there and there's like nobody in there because it's like a Wednesday night or something.
There's like one table and there's two people behind the bar.
And I go up.
I'm waiting to order.
There's a guy behind the bar mixing a drink.
Or he's shaking a drink, rather.
And there's another guy who's like, you know, clearing dishes and stuff like that.
Dude shakes this drink for eight minutes without taking my order.
I mean, was it a gin fizz?
I'm not- I don't know what it was.
I'm kidding.
That's like the only thing I could think of that was like required taking more than five shakes.
I asked him what he was doing once he finally finished.
I was like, so you had to shake that that long, huh?
He was like, yeah, and it's like a fucking $30 drink or something.
She's like, okay, cool.
Love this place.
I could probably guess who that was and I think they actually just got fired from there too.
Totally pretentious bar.
That could have been so cool.
It could have been the coolest place.
But yeah, they suck.
See, they have to fire you, Tony, to make sure there's a wait for your drink to make it seem cooler and more exclusive.
Exactly, exactly.
Um, yeah.
No need to hurt someone's livelihood.
Okay.
Alright.
Mary Stefano says, everyone needs to visit this waitress and leave her no tips.
So cool.
Just, you know, again, like being a monster.
Being an absolute piece of shit.
And don't worry, Mary.
She was fired.
You know, you don't have to do this.
I got a hunch that Caitlin Bennett's not a tipper anyways.
She claimed she left her a tip.
I don't know.
I bet you she did the calculation and left bare minimum.
I mean I claim that I leave tips for people all the time.
It doesn't mean anything.
You can just say stuff.
You don't have to mean it.
That's true.
That's very true.
Also, Mary, I would love to visit that waitress, but I can't.
Yeah.
Because she lost her fucking job.
Richard D. responds, Mary Stefano, or just leave a 45 cent tip.
Do you understand this, Tony?
I totally understand it, and it makes me so mad.
It's so stupid.
Because no one's going to think that.
If someone gives me a 45 cent tip, I'm not going to be all like, Trump, no!
No, they got me with a Trump tip!
I'm just going to be like, yo, fuck this motherfucker right here, man.
45 cents?
Yeah, that's the Trump tip.
45 cents?
Now if they had given me a 44 cent tip, I'd say yes.
I would have tipped my hat to them.
That is my tip.
44 is, he is my tip.
He's still my tip.
I mean, I would like to not like the tip, but that sometimes feels racist, so.
You're just like, you see the 45 cent tip and you're like, this is not my tip!
I refuse to accept this tip!
Can you imagine, like, finding a 44-cent tip, and then you move the receipt, and there's another penny?
Yeah, that would be awful.
And it's like a rollercoaster, you're all excited, and then you're like, no, they got me.
These sons of bitches.
That was kind of all of us on November 6th, 2016.
Absolutely.
We all moved the penny that was covering the Florida electoral results.
We're like, oh man, it's a different president this time.
Oh, oh shit.
Okay, this is a...
Dude, I went to a fuckin' party.
I remember going to a party.
A viewing- an election viewing party.
Okay, that's an important distinction, yeah.
Yeah, an election viewing party.
Uh-huh.
And- and everybody like- People are just crying.
People got drunk way too early, too.
Like, people chanting like, I'm with her!
And just getting wasted.
Yeah.
And then, uh, then- then they're losing, and everyone- And everyone's just like, Watching those people just kind of like, well everybody, kind of just like fall apart.
Was this like a wild thing?
I was like, ooh, weird choice for a party.
Yeah, the only thing similar that I've been to was the last season series finale viewing party.
Where people were crying and very upset.
That's funny.
But I hadn't seen the series, so I was unaffected, just like I don't honor or respect or believe in America, so I was not affected by the 2016 election results.
It was, you know.
Yeah.
Good for you.
No, just kidding.
Obviously.
I was crying.
I was pulling my hair out.
I was like, it's okay.
Hillary's going to come on stage and address all of her supporters and thank us for our support and tell us that, you know, now, now is not the time to give up and we must, uh, continue to, we must resist this administration.
And then she just never came out.
At all?
Did, uh, did anybody, was anybody at your party, like waiting for her to speak?
Oh, absolutely.
Absolutely.
Yeah, totally.
It's okay.
She's gonna have something to say about this.
People were like, there's going to be a recount.
Like, there's going to be a recount.
They had, this has got to not be accurate.
Yeah.
I remember I was driving home from work and it was like six or something, six or seven.
And it was like, Oh, Florida looks like it's going to Trump.
And I was texting my girlfriend at the time and I was like, uh, what is happening?
What's going on now?
And then, yeah, it was just, it was downhill from there.
I mean, you know, we did get a podcast out of it.
Yeah, that's true.
I think about even for the nation.
Worth it!
Marcus Roy, last comment, says, So sad that Snapchat controls her life.
I'm not sure she thinks those articles on it are not opinionated at all.
Poor girl.
Where did he pull Snapchat out of?
Like, I don't know.
It's a social media thing.
So he got those two things confused, Snapchat and Instagram.
But he is aware that they post articles in Snapchat.
I was not aware of that.
I thought this was another flub on his part.
No yeah no like the the like I don't know it gets to be the equivalent of the Discover page has like BuzzFeed and like MTV and like articles.
Like actual articles or like like graphics that link to their websites?
Yeah like like slideshow slideshows that link to the website But I mean, yeah, that's what he'd be referring to.
Oh, well, see, this comment's not as funny as I thought it was.
I thought he thought that, like, Instagram was an actual website.
Or, sorry, Snapchat was, like, a website with, uh, you know, independent journalism on it.
No, Marcus actually supports a lot of sex workers out there and he only has premium Snapchats.
That's the only reason he has it, just for premium Snapchats.
He's very familiar with the Snapchat formula, but he hates the articles.
So sad that Snapchat controls her life because she posted on it one time, as far as you know.
Yeah.
You know, like, just, yeah.
I mean, these people are sick, dude.
These people are fucked up.
I mean, a lot of people were saying, like, well, she wants to act a fool in public just to get attention.
This is what happens to her.
And it's like, dude, this was in her story.
This was on her personal Instagram in her story.
Like, she's got... This was as little of your business as it could be.
She's got like a thousand followers on Instagram.
This isn't her tagging Caitlyn Bennett.
This isn't her like, you know, sending a tip to the news or sending a tip to the Socialist Rifle Association on Caitlyn Bennett's whereabouts.
This is her just like venting after work.
Yeah, it's so fucking lame and I still want to find out who the fuck told.
Just one of Caitlyn's orbiters.
Yeah, I mean, like, people were thinking, oh, maybe, like, Caitlyn name searches or whatever, but I don't think you can name search a text in an Instagram story.
It was just, she has enough, like, desperate, thirsty reply guys that one of them saw this and sent it to her, like, hoping for a crumb of pussy from Caitlyn Bennett.
Yeah.
Can you please send me a lock of hair?
I would get a get a lock from her and then throw it against the wall see if it sticks I Know it's good.
See if it's done.
Yeah Okay, so Just want to take this time to remind everybody that, hey, we are going on tour very soon with Street Fight.
Street Fight is a very cool podcast.
You have probably already heard about them.
They're the anarcho-dads from Columbus, Ohio that talk about how work sucks and capitalism is awful.
Offer a free space for people to call in and complain or shoot the shit or joke around or whatever.
They're very funny guys, very wholesome dudes.
We've had them on the show before and they're taking us along for the ride down the West Coast.
We are starting in Seattle on... Pulling up these dates here.
We're starting in Seattle on November 10th?
November 9th.
Gonna be in Seattle again on November 10th, Portland, Oregon, November 11th, Oakland, California, November 13th, LA, November 15th, and then San Diego, November 18th.
We got a lot of friends in SoCal.
Please come out and see us.
We'd love to see you guys.
You know, there's a little bit of downtime here so maybe we can, you know, hang out and party and stuff like that.
Tickets are available.
So, the link will be in the show notes or you could go to MinionDeathCult.com where I've put a link to the Street Fight Radio website where you can buy tickets.
The poster art is fucking awesome.
The flyer art is awesome, if you haven't seen it.
It's really cool.
Yeah, we're super excited about this.
It's our first time doing this stuff in front of people who, like, aren't our friends, you know?
So we're nervous about it, but we'd love to see you guys out there.
Have you guys support us in this trying time for us.
Yeah, it's going to be awesome.
We really look forward to seeing all y'all come through, give high fives.
Also, if you haven't listened to Street Fight, they just put out a little bonus episode that is an interview with a cam girl that's very informative and really good.
Definitely worth checking out.
It's only like 30 minutes long.
It's not their typical good old-fashioned Street Fight, but it's a nice little snippet of what they're about.
So check that episode out.
Yeah, and their live show rules too.
Yeah, it absolutely rules.
Come prepared to have some fun.
And then we also have a Patreon giveaway going on this month for the month of October.
We are giving away four different Novelty coins that are supposed to be pennies, but they're the size of quarters that were pressed specifically to own the libs.
These are four coins.
Each of them has the face of just a liberal boogeyman for these people.
Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren, Joe Biden, and AOC.
And instead of one cent, these coins, they say no cents on the back of them, because that is exactly how much these libs are worth.
They were supposed to come tarnished.
They were advertised that they would come blemished and tarnished, much like the reputations of the Democrats that they bear.
They did not.
They came in perfect condition and I'm a little upset about it.
I don't know how to feel about these dummy crats if the coins are pristine and beautiful and flawless.
It's sending mixed signals here.
But that's for, I guess, the sweepstakes winner to decide what that means.
Actually, if you guys could go to the review page of the company that makes them and let them know that we do not appreciate being lied to, that would be great.
Yeah.
Hey, these coins aren't ugly enough.
Maybe if they can get the Tarnisher fired, that'd be cool.
Yeah, we should do that for sure.
And I just, I love the idea of pressing a coin to own somebody.
Like making a, like a sarcastic coin.
It just reminds, it seems like a fucking 19th or 18th century way to own somebody.
And I really love it.
Yeah, it's pretty good.
Pretty damn good.
Like, fuck a meme.
Memes are lame.
Memes are not forever.
No.
Coins.
Coins are forever.
Yeah.
Okay, so let's move on to this next segment, okay?
We have a viral story here, and I have to shout out Loud Patrol on Instagram for sending us this.
This is a story from Fox News, but it originated in Facebook.
This is, like, Fox News stealing Facebook valor here.
It's a video.
Caption reads, Stars Then Stripes.
A FedEx worker made a patriotic adjustment when he spotted two American flag pillows that were out of order on an Ohio porch.
A patriotic adjustment.
I love that phrase, first of all.
Amazing.
We'll come back to that.
I'll give you a patriotic adjustment.
I'm always making just little patriotic adjustments around the house, at work.
You can't do it in front of anybody, though.
These PC libs, they get all upset if you make a patriotic adjustment within the vicinity of one of your female co-workers.
I'll give you a flagpole, alright?
This is a video of a fucking FedEx driver delivering a package to a doorstep.
You know, it's one of the, like, doorbell cameras that watches me every day.
I do this same thing.
He notices the pillows, the decorative pillows on the bench, one of which is white stars on a blue background.
The other is red and white stripes.
It's like two separate pillows that make up the flag.
Like you have to do the work and make the flag out of the pillows, you know?
Yeah.
And the homeowner had disrespectfully put the striped pillow on the left side of the star pillow.
And, uh, this FedEx guy, just in a fuckin' act of patriotic adjustment, moves the pillows to the other side.
Takes the pillows and switches them around!
Swaps them around.
What a fucking loser.
Like, what a fucking loser.
Fuck this guy, dude.
What was that internal dialogue like?
Just like, nope, this isn't gonna cut it.
We gotta do it.
This isn't right.
We gotta fix it.
This is not cool.
This isn't right at all.
Everything's wrong.
So, there's like...
There's like that joke going around, not going around, just in the sort of zeitgeist, you know, in the ether of the American psyche, that is FedEx drivers and UPS drivers are like natural born enemies.
Like sworn, like, whenever me and a FedEx driver are delivering to the same place, it's always, uh oh, you guys gonna fight?
Oh!
Stay- be careful!
And it's just like, that is obviously, like, capitalist propaganda.
Both me and the FedEx driver are workers, and we are... We're on the same team.
Okay?
Both against the ruling class and against the customer.
Okay?
We're on the same team.
Solidarity with my non-union brothers over at FedEx.
Brothers, sisters, non-binary siblings over at FedEx.
DHL, even OnTrack, although they need to really get their shit together.
Yeah, OnTrack needs to get together for sure.
They need to flex, for sure.
Like, at least FedEx drivers get paid decently.
OnTrack doesn't.
So, I have ultimate solidarity with my fellow drivers, except for this one.
Yeah, this guy needs to go.
This guy I would fight.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
I would say, oh, let's pretend like we're gonna fight for the customer.
It'll be funny, and then I'll just, like, sucker punch him.
Fuck this guy, dude.
Yeah, absolute nerd, man.
Oh my god.
This is like that kid, remember that kid who was fucking like picked up his frisbee off the doorstep of somebody else's lawn and there was a flag and so he just stood there and saluted the flag on the person's doorstep?
Do you remember that shit?
Yeah, what a fucking, like losers.
Like something's wrong with these people, dude.
You know what sucks?
I feel like he knew, I feel like he knew the camera was there.
I feel like he was like, let me show him, let me show him how to do this.
I mean, if this is cynical, then amen, you know?
This is beautiful.
Oh, yeah, but I doubt that.
He's gonna get, like, so much water bottles out of this.
Is he allowed to take water bottles?
Is he allowed to take Gatorades?
I don't know.
I mean, the organization seems pretty fucking bootlicky to me, so I don't know.
I mean, I am.
I'm allowed to take money.
I'm allowed to take anything, but I'm sure FedEx drivers are able to take water.
I've had a FedEx driver leave me water.
That's how tight we are.
Oh, nice.
Yeah.
Good stuff.
And I've helped FedEx drivers deliver overweight packages to customers' doors.
So, I'm not joking when I say there's solidarity between other drivers except for this one.
What's really funny, too, is, like, again, this video, only the homeowner has access to this video.
This homeowner had to, like, share the video.
Yeah.
Which, I mean, they should have been embarrassed to do.
They should have been, like, ashamed.
They should have been horrified that they did this in the first place.
That they didn't patriotically adjust the pillows beforehand.
Yeah.
Yeah, it is kind of embarrassing for them.
Or they should have also submitted the video of the Antifa member who rearranged them in the first place.
Um, this person shared it on her Facebook page and it got like 2 million views and then Fox News ripped the video from her and their post has 1 million views.
Just, fuck, just dumb people.
Like there's no, like this has 76,000 reacts.
1 million views just because the guy moved some pillows.
It's how fucking sick our country is, dude.
I hope that there's someone out there that's a fucking vet or a pig that's really pissed because they can't share their body cam video of the patriotism that they do.
Yeah, like what?
What's the patriotism that they do?
Uh, you know, just, uh, um, what's the, keep, keeping the peace?
Oh, yeah.
Keeping the pieces of shit off the street.
Or, you know, just, like, pulling guns on kids at skate parks.
Yeah, um, that's true.
Something people don't know is that, like, yeah, a flag's not allowed to touch the ground, but a piece of shit is also not allowed to touch the street.
And so, uh, you take them out before they can get on the street, and that's a very patriotic thing to do.
Yeah, exactly.
Anything else I wanted to say about this fuckin' dork ass?
Like, unionize, dude.
What are you fuckin' doing?
Cut this shit out.
Do something good, actually.
Do something that matters.
Jeff Hornsby says, I pray if my flag fell while I was not at home, or I had my pillows wrong, would just take a second to pick it up or fix the pillows.
Good job, FedEx.
That's my worst fear, is my pillows are wrong.
It's like upside down.
It's like, oh man, your pillows clearly say live, pray, laugh.
That's not the order they go in.
You have the loved one upside down.
Are you trying to say live, hate, laugh?
I hope that Jeff is visited by our new Lord Deer that was shaking that flag.
Oh yeah, that's a good video.
See, that's a heartwarming video.
The deer that rips the flag out from the front yard of a homeowner.
And is just shaking it around.
So good.
Hey, get down from there.
That is not an American flag.
Do not observe.
But yeah, I just, I pray if my flag fell while I was not at home or if my pillows were wrong.
Like, I picture him, like, at work, watching his nanny cam, realizing that the pillows are wrong.
And just fucking, like, in anguish all day, knowing that his pillows are wrong.
He would go home.
He would, he would be like, I gotta go.
I gotta go home.
There's an emergency at home.
I can't.
That would be disrespectful to the business owner.
Oh, that's true.
That's true.
You have to obey the chain of command at work.
You cannot leave until you're dismissed.
So he would just be watching the doorbell cam and seeing like the various delivery people.
And he's like, just do a patriotic adjustment.
Just do.
Just patriotically adjust the pillows.
And just like none of them are doing it until finally the FedEx guy comes by and his prayers are answered.
Somebody pointed out that in this video, right as he's flipping the pillows, The flag that's hanging on the porch in the corner of the frame, a gust of wind blows it into screen.
Wow.
Wow.
Right as he's moving.
And it's like, somebody was like, I couldn't help but notice that the wind blew the flag into frame when he moved the pillows.
It's like, it's like what?
Like the ghost of America?
Yeah.
The ghost of America was like, thank you.
Thank you.
I appreciate you brother.
That's amazing.
I also want to see the compilation video of pieces of shit not adjusting the pillows.
Yeah, no, so we can get them fired from their fucking job for disrespecting the pillows?
They would, like, dox them.
Sean Nevin, top fan of Fox News, says, Smart guy.
Definitely not a Democrat.
I mean, yeah.
The FedEx guy was not a Democrat.
Definitely Republican FedEx guy.
For sure.
No doubt about it.
Yay FedEx guy!
We love you!
He's gonna get a shoutout and a speech just like Joe Sixpack did back in the days.
Oh, we got a comment like that, don't worry.
Yeah, definitely not a Democrat.
They don't even care to use our flag in their debates.
Another reason not to vote for them.
Yeah.
They would never make a patriotic adjustment.
Is that a thing?
Was there no flag present for the debates?
They didn't have an array of, like, eight flags behind them, like the Republican debate, but they did have, like, a giant screen behind them with the American flag graphic waving the whole time, you know.
Oh yeah, that's where they fucked up.
You're supposed to have two flags per candidate.
And, I mean, if the flag is just on screen, how are you going to hug that bad boy?
That's true.
But what they're not realizing is you can't actually set the screen on fire, so that's actually the best way to do it.
Yeah, I mean, that would be bad for the environment, which Democrats are not down with.
Steve J. D'Annunzio says, I wonder Trump is going to offer him a job as White House mailroom.
Is that a fucking... I doubt that's a promotion.
Hey, why don't you come on down to D.C.?
Why don't you move on out to D.C.?
I got a job for you at a mailroom.
I know you're good at packages.
I would love for you to work at the fucking mailroom in the White House.
I would, even if it were a president I liked, you know?
Which I don't know if that's possible, but just going from working outside, being your own supervisor, driving around a truck, seeing new neighborhoods every day, to being moved to just a room.
Yeah, that's like probably the kind of basement, probably no windows.
Yeah, basement office somewhere where you have to fight.
But hey, it's just an honor to work under, literally under the president like that, you know?
You get to see his mail.
Trump would just have him come mow the lawn.
Yeah, it's the same thing.
I will tell you that they will never let you around the president's mail.
That's not gonna happen.
Yeah, I didn't think about that aspect of it.
It could have been cool.
Yeah.
Could have been cool for that reason, just like snoop at the president's mail, like see all his personal correspondence, you know?
Not talking about like tampering or anything like that.
No, you wouldn't put like a stink bomb in one.
Stink.
Stink.
I said stink.
A mousetrap?
But I mean, it would have to be like a pretty tiny mousetrap, you know, to catch those tiny hands.
Just like a mousetrap in a normal legal envelope.
Just crudely stuffed in there.
Obviously a mousetrap.
It can't even shut because the letter's not wide enough.
It's just stopped by the envelope.
And Trump just blindly reaching in there, like getting a finger snapped.
Um, yeah, Trump is going to offer him the illustrious position of White House mail clerk.
Thank you for your, thank you for your pillow service, sir.
How would you like to fucking, uh, distribute letters into various slots in the basement of the White House?
And him just be like, it all paid off, all this work.
You know, this wasn't the first pillow adjustment I've done.
I've done several pillow adjustments.
Not all of them patriotic, you know.
Sometimes when I walk by a flag, I just blow on it so that it can fly a little bit.
Yeah.
Ken Elliott says, this guy is amazing.
In retrospect, the individuals who are disrespecting our flag are so unoriginal.
They burn it, or stomp on it, or graffiti it, etc.
I wish they would take a more original approach.
Might I suggest they drape it over their head and desecrate the flag with a large caliber bullet?
Holy shit!
I mean, if that's what... Ken, that's fucking sick, dude.
You're a twisted individual, man.
What's wrong with you?
I mean, he's just saying what hundreds of other people have said on this show, which is protesters deserve to be killed, shot, for their crimes against the flag.
That's wild.
I'm pretty sure you can actually find a video just like that of a troop doing it overseas and doing them the favor and pulling the trigger for them.
I was going to say, if anyone would do this, it would be somebody with extreme PTSD who can't get proper mental health care.
They'll actually be, but they'll be nice and they'll do a Junior Seau and leave a note and stuff and shoot himself in the chest.
Or in a shirt he's wearing, his Old Navy USA flag shirt.
And just hope the symbolism is reached.
So, we didn't want to leave, like, the listener with this bad impression of FedEx, right?
I mean, FedEx on this episode has been just associated with depraved levels of bootlickery.
Just, I don't know, disgusting and indecent acts of subservience on behalf of American flag-colored pillows.
We didn't want to leave that as the only impression of FedEx.
So here's a post from John Kosich Who says this country has totally just gone to shit dot dot dot FedEx management just told me I had to remove my American flag from my truck, which it's been on since January, dot, dot, dot.
My response, quote, what, you don't believe in America?
Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot.
Please pass this on from an American FedEx driver in Florida.
Signed, FNA Johnny K.
Oh, fuck yeah.
Fuck yeah.
F tilde N tilde A Johnny K. Fuckin' A Johnny K. Fuckin' A. Thanks.
Which is something only he says to himself.
Well, he says it to all his Facebook followers, too, you know.
That's true.
Yeah, and he's included a picture of his FedEx truck with a just disgusting and soiled American flag hanging off the side of the back of the bumper.
Yeah, I'm almost positive the reason they really asked him to remove it is because you can only see a little bit of the stripes and all that union on the left there.
But I'm positive, it's been on since January, the bottom is just tattered and shredded.
Yeah, it's shredded and it's covered in soot.
That's the reason they told him to take it off.
Yeah, that's always funny when you see, like, some dumbass in a truck pulling an American flag in the bed or whatever and the flag is just tattered.
It just looks like shit.
Yeah, so I love that.
I've seen him to where, like, it's all the way to the stars and it's still there.
I'm like, how is this?
How is this?
Okay, like, how are you cool with this?
Yeah, it's good.
Um, yeah.
It's just, uh, so, you know, FedEx, uh, some of their drivers, bootlickers, but the company just will not stand for displays of patriotism on their, on their trucks.
So, uh, I like that.
I appreciate that.
Yeah, good for them.
Yeah.
Okay, that's the episode, folks.
Thanks so much for listening.
Remember, we got that Patreon giveaway going on.
I don't think I mentioned what the Patreon is.
You probably know already.
Patreon.com slash MinionDeathCold.
Bonus episode every week.
$3 a month.
$5 a month gets you a bonus episode every week and a sweet pack of stickers.
Yes.
Both the $3 and $5 levels will enter you to win one of those sick burn coins on the libs.
We appreciate the support.
You'll be helping us, you know, fucking pay bills and stuff like that, which we really appreciate.
Thanks to all the new Patreon supporters.
We've had a A lot of support in the last couple months, and we love you folks for it.
And all the sticker packs, they come with a little hand-drawn thank you card.
And the next couple going out are from a guest artist, my friend Mark, who just did some of the sickest illustrations.
So hopefully you'll be lucky enough to get one of those ones.
I mean, the ones I do are pretty cool, but the ones he did are fucking sick.
So another little incentive to go for that $5.
You get a little piece of fine art with it.
Yeah.
Yeah, Tony's killing it with those sticker packs.
All right, and come out and see us on tour November 10th through November 18th along the west coast.
Go to MinionDeathCult.com to see and buy tickets.
We'd love to see you folks.
And write to us at MinionDeathCult at gmail.com, social media at MinionDeathCult on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, and join the Facebook group Minion Death Commandos.
Lots of people in there.
Lots of fun, stupid shit going on in that group.
It's a fun place.
Thanks to everybody who participates in the group.
Really appreciate it.
And that's it.
Thanks for listening, folks.
Thanks a lot.
Bye.
He's very upset about the desecration of the American flag.
And I want you to pick up the story there.
Merle, if you will, please.
Well, I just wrote a song.
I got so angry that I wrote a song about it.
I don't know.
I just felt kind of helpless.
I thought, you know, it seems like there's some unwritten laws somewhere.
There's certain things you can't do.
There's certain things you take for granted.
You can't go get a license to rob a bank, you know, and you can't do silly things or silly things, and I think this is a silly thing that we have to go make an amendment not to burn the American flag after things like the American flag stands for, and Mount Suribachi, you know, to the Holocaust, you know, it has so many, means so many different things to so many people, and And it, uh, it angered me.
Tremendously.
To see we have to vote on something like that.
What is the name of your song?
It's called Me and Crippled Soldiers.
So is this about crippled soldiers who... I don't know, the thought came to me when I saw it, I thought, I felt helpless, like, I'm just a little guitar player, and, uh, I thought, doesn't anybody but me and the disabled veterans of America care about this, and how can this happen?
Here's Merle to sing a forthcoming song called "Me and Crippled Soldiers." Now
that it's alright to burn the stars and stripes, I guess nobody really needs old Uncle Sam.
Might as well burn the bill of rights as well, let her country go on to hell, only me and crippled soldiers give a damn.
Has the Holocaust been so long?
Is Hitler really gone as we burn our own cause for Vietnam?
There's the mom who lost her son.
Says the freedom that we want, we're all in need.
Purple soldiers give a damn.
After all the wars we fought and won We keep old glory wavin' Today we'll get through to burn old glory down
