| Time | Text |
|---|---|
|
Be Ready for Anything
00:03:02
|
|
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| All right, my friend. | |
| You're wondering, what's he so down in the mouth about? | |
| What's he so glum about? | |
| You got it. | |
| I think the last Christmas party. | |
| I think. | |
| I think this has got to be. | |
| It's got to be. | |
| It's got to be the last one. | |
| Because I'll tell you, they just don't go away. | |
| But by the way, if you want to see something later on, you got to see what Mrs. Al looks like. | |
| When you get a chance, can you grace the portals of this real quick to see how fancy schmancy and dazzly Yeah, no, no. | |
| Talking to my other wife. | |
| Yes! | |
| I'm getting ready. | |
| That's what I'm saying. | |
| Look at this. | |
| Well, I'm getting ready. | |
| Ooh, look at that. | |
| You can't even see the britches on these things. | |
| I'm getting ready. | |
| You're getting ready. | |
| We're going to do a Christmas. | |
| But this is all... | |
| I mean, this is... | |
| You should see the... | |
| You can't see the pants. | |
| The pants, too, are... | |
| It seems like Elvis. | |
| I'll come back when I'm all ready. | |
| Okay, okay. | |
| Look at this. | |
| So, anyway, we're talking to you before the event. | |
| Well, I gotta sit there tonight and get ready for it non-stop. | |
| Motion! | |
| It's just, oh, what it all is, it's just motion everywhere I go. | |
|
Hallelujah, Noel
00:04:26
|
|
| It's just, I mean, every, oh my, hey, how you doing? | |
| Hey, look who it is! | |
| How you doing? | |
| Great! | |
| Who are you? | |
| I don't know who you are. | |
| And then politics, oh, oh. | |
| Invariably. | |
| How you doing? | |
| Good. | |
| Good to see you. | |
| How have you been? | |
| Hey, Merry Christmas. | |
| Happy New Year to you. | |
| Yeah, you're looking good. | |
| Looking good. | |
| What do you say? | |
| What do you say? | |
| Meanwhile, the world is falling apart and I'm going, hey! | |
| And I don't go out maybe after... | |
| We never go out at night. | |
| Never. | |
| We're up so early. | |
| I mean, look, we work more than most people. | |
| I just, I don't know when it is. | |
| I just became real, I mean, deathly allergic to bullshit. | |
| And by the way, that's an acceptable word. | |
| That to me is not, that's not even cursing at this point. | |
| That's not even... | |
| That word is so perfect and you know exactly what it means. | |
| You know exactly. | |
| And there's just this normal... | |
| And something tells me the most depressing music ever is Christmas carols. | |
| Christmas! | |
| It's the most depressing! | |
| Depressing? | |
| You imagine yourself sitting in a bar with a pack of Luckies and, you know, three fingers bourbon and a coffee cup. | |
| No, that's Miss Emily's picture, John Connolly. | |
| Sitting there like nursing a drink, your life is shot, your family's gone, and somebody's playing White Christmas. | |
| Isn't that weird? | |
| Or some poor guy sitting around a campfire or fire in some war zone. | |
| It's just depressing. | |
| Have a holly jolly Christmas. | |
| Four songs. | |
| Earl Ives, Dean Martin, Bing Crosby, Brenda Lee, and the one, the song that absolutely kills me. | |
| I hate, I hate, I hate more than anything. | |
| Feliz Navidad! | |
| Feliz Navidad! | |
| Prospero año y felicidad! | |
| Oh my! | |
| God! | |
| Out of all the stuff that Jose Feliciano's ever done, this is like the worst. | |
| Grandma got run over by a reindeer. | |
| I kind of like that one. | |
| My favorite of them all, of them all, is I Believe in Father Christmas, Greg Lake, Peterson Field, Emerson Lake and Palmer. | |
| The greatest song ever. | |
| Hallelujah, Noel, be it heaven or hell. | |
| The Christmas we get, we deserve. | |
| It rained on... | |
| They promised me... | |
| They promised me... | |
| No. | |
| Father... | |
| They promised me... | |
| I wish you a hopeful Christmas. | |
| I wish you a brave new year. | |
| All happy. | |
| It's pain and sorrow. | |
| Leave your life and let your love be clear. | |
| They said there'd be snow on Christmas. | |
| They said there'd be peace on earth. | |
| Hallelujah, Noel. | |
| Be it heaven or hell, the Christmas we get we deserve. | |
| Oh, I love that. | |
| Love that song. | |
| Even as a kid, I loved the song about deception and fraud and manufactured feelings. | |
| Manufactured. | |
| Which is half of what the political spectrum is in this. | |
| For most of the people on this, it's manufactured. | |
| It's pretend. | |
| It's a work. | |
| It's a bunch of people pretending to say like, well, this is the way we should be acting. | |
|
Saying the Same Thing
00:15:31
|
|
| And this is the way we should. | |
| This is what we should do. | |
| Last year, this year, sucked. | |
| I lost friends. | |
| I lost friends with Trump for reasons I don't understand. | |
| Half of the time I'm slamming the guy and telling people, I don't think he's going to win! | |
| But yet I'm somehow a Trumpy, number one. | |
| Number two, I've been blasted as far as Israel and Palestine. | |
| I have no earthly idea why. | |
| I have no... | |
| I've had the unmitigated audacity of saying... | |
| I think we should talk about stopping the killing. | |
| Shut up. | |
| Shut up. | |
| You don't know what you're talking about. | |
| You don't know what you're talking about. | |
| Yeah, shut up! | |
| You don't know what you're talking about. | |
| What do you mean I don't know? | |
| You don't know what you're talking about. | |
| There is such a level The best news, I have so enjoyed two ballsy women. | |
| Brianna from The Rising, Brianna Joy and Crystal Ball. | |
| Not necessarily, I don't share, I don't share the, frankly, sometimes the anti-Israel vehemence, but I love the fact that you've got two brave, two people getting away from the narrative. | |
| I don't care what it is. | |
| Whatever you believe. | |
| Conspiracies, if you don't believe in Israel, Palestine, Fallujah, the surge, Islamofascism, if you don't believe in the story of Pearl Harbor, 9-11, the virgin birth, I don't care. | |
| The fact that somebody is brave enough to say this is what I believe, you won my heart over. | |
| I have been Enjoying Don't Ask Me. | |
| The thing about YouTube, which is so terrific. | |
| Do you know who Jimmy Breslin was? | |
| Do you know who he was? | |
| Do you know who Jimmy Breslin is? | |
| Do most people know, do you think? | |
| I wonder. | |
| Because Bill Maher... | |
| And Bobby Kennedy and everybody, they've been handed a storyline and they say, you're going to say this. | |
| And by the way, there are other people as well who've been handed their storyline the opposite. | |
| And there are other people who say, that storyline's not true. | |
| What? | |
| That storyline's not true. | |
| Nobody ever says, nobody ever assumes that what you're hearing is true. | |
| And I've been through this my whole life. | |
| I've been through this with everything else. | |
| But do you remember who Jimmy Breslin... | |
| Jimmy Breslin was the... | |
| There was a time when I first... | |
| During the best times ever. | |
| I'd say maybe 30 years ago. | |
| Maybe 30 years in New York. | |
| It was the last vestige of the saloon. | |
| They don't exist anymore. | |
| They don't exist. | |
| And you had saloons. | |
| And you had... | |
| Not a bar. | |
| Not a, you know, but it was a saloon. | |
| It was in neighborhoods. | |
| Normally an Irish joint. | |
| And there was a group of people who made them more famous, and that was the newspaper folks. | |
| And news to a certain extent. | |
| So I'm here in Hell's Kitchen. | |
| I'm on the west side. | |
| Down the street on 57th Street is, of course, CBS News. | |
| CBS, 60 Minutes crowd, the CBS cameramen and the reporters, and that's CBS over there. | |
| ABC is up the street a little bit. | |
| That's around, that's across from my Columbus Circle, off Amsterdam, Columbus, you know that kind of thing. | |
| That's 60, that's ABC, and you know where those things are. | |
| And then... | |
| We had the Daily News and the Post and all this. | |
| And there were these last vestiges of these people that were called the newspaper men. | |
| And number one was Jimmy Breslin. | |
| Now below him was, in terms of famous, Murray Kempton, Jimmy Cannon, news guy. | |
| But Pete Hamill, Pete Hamill was more the master of erudition. | |
| Jimmy Breslin, I talk like this, what are you talking about? | |
| He was the one that the Son of Sam looked for, contacted. | |
| And Jimmy Breslin, Mr. Prose, wrote a book called The Good Rat. | |
| Jimmy Breslin was the Hemingway of local news. | |
| They were into copy editing. | |
| They would say things in the least amount of words. | |
| Pete Hamill, who dated Jackie Kennedy, and he was like the bon vivant. | |
| He wrote A Drinking Life. | |
| It was great. | |
| He had the best line ever. | |
| He wrote this line. | |
| He said, I retired. | |
| No, I retired. | |
| He says, I didn't stop drinking. | |
| I retired with the title. | |
| And his brother, Dennis, good guy, kind of stopped talking to me because of Trump. | |
| And all these guys were basically lefties like you can't believe. | |
| But they were hard scrabble, all ex-drinkers, all whatever. | |
| Michael Daly, Mike... | |
| What was his name? | |
| Shirley. | |
| The guy who died, they did that, Tom Hanks did that Broadway play about him. | |
| There's all these different people. | |
| And Jimmy Breslin took sides that nobody took. | |
| He stuck. | |
| The cops didn't like him. | |
| He was against, you know, Graft, Westbrook Pegler, and other. | |
| And these were people I always admired. | |
| And I don't have to agree with them. | |
| I don't have to agree. | |
| I love people who say things that nobody agrees with. | |
| It's something to say the same thing. | |
| Bill Maher is all of a sudden taking... | |
| He has accepted the entire... | |
| You don't even need to listen to Bill Maher. | |
| Bill Maher has his opinions written for him, and he's this kind of smart-ass, like, okay, I finally give this the endorsement. | |
| And they don't see anything. | |
| They never... | |
| Let me give you an example. | |
| Jimmy Breslin said, you always go to the losing locker room. | |
| You don't interview the winner. | |
| Why do you want to interview the winner? | |
| His most famous thing ever, his most famous story, well, one of them, was when John Kennedy was assassinated, he interviewed the gravedigger. | |
| The guy who had to go and dig the grave, this black guy. | |
| And it was like, brilliant! | |
| And he said, you've got to understand the way people think. | |
| Have you ever heard anyone ever, ever explain to you the Hamas position? | |
| Of course not. | |
| I don't think it exists. | |
| I don't think there is an opinion. | |
| You're not going to hear it here. | |
| But do they have an opinion? | |
| What do they think? | |
| I keep hearing about this charter. | |
| I've never read this charter. | |
| Don't you want to... | |
| People have always said, if you could interview anybody, you know the all-famous interview, who would you want to interview? | |
| Mine's simple. | |
| Hitler. | |
| I'm going to find out if there's anything special. | |
| Explain to me this mentality. | |
| I am fascinated not by heroes. | |
| That's easy. | |
| It's easy. | |
| Tell me what you think. | |
| Hitler. | |
| Serial killers. | |
| I was trying to figure out what serial killers think until I saw, interestingly enough, a Piers Morgan interview with one guy and it all made sense. | |
| It all made sense. | |
| And it was so easy. | |
| It was so easy, and I never knew, I never thought about the motivation behind it. | |
| That's what I want to know. | |
| So I love the people who take positions. | |
| It doesn't matter what I agree with. | |
| I hate holier-than-thou people. | |
| I hate people who won't. | |
| I hate... | |
| I just... | |
| Anyway, 2023 is shot because we never had any of that and 2024 is going to suck because it's going to be more of the usual and I give up. | |
| So I'm going to take a new tack. | |
| I'm trying to figure out what it is. | |
| 2024 is going to be disastrous for America. | |
| Nobody sees what's happening. | |
| Nobody has been trained. | |
| Nobody understands it. | |
| They don't understand the symptoms. | |
| They don't even know where to look. | |
| They don't know where to look. | |
| They don't know where to go. | |
| That's the way it goes. | |
| And tonight, I gotta go to a Christmas party. | |
| And I'm gonna sit there and I'm gonna report to you tomorrow. | |
| But I'm gonna talk to people who don't wanna hear anything that I have to say. | |
| None. | |
| Nothing. | |
| I... | |
| Am a freak. | |
| The thing that I think is interesting, nobody cares about. | |
| Nobody cares. | |
| Nobody. | |
| I see things differently. | |
| It's like, you know when you go to the doctor, the eye doctor, and he says, is it better like this or like this? | |
| That's the way they used to do exams. | |
| Is it better like this or like this? | |
| Mine's like this. | |
| The light off. | |
| Or light on? | |
| Which one do you see better? | |
| With the light off or the light on? | |
| It's so obvious to me. | |
| I give up. | |
| There's nobody who's interested in this. | |
| There's nobody who... | |
| Social media have collectively, specifically Twitter and TikTok. | |
| And by the way, my problem with TikTok is never... | |
| I don't want to ban it. | |
| I don't care if China owns it. | |
| Of course. | |
| Of course Xi Jinping. | |
| If I met Xi, I'm going to say, of course you're going to steal from us. | |
| Of course you're going to steal from us. | |
| Of course you are. | |
| Of course you are. | |
| If I were in China, I'd steal everything I could get my hands on. | |
| Anything you did, I would steal and get my hands on it. | |
| Every single thing. | |
| Period. | |
| I would steal you blind. | |
| Anything you did. | |
| Everything. | |
| I understand you're a thief. | |
| It's what we all do. | |
| It's what we do. | |
| We have this high and mighty idea. | |
| We go and we steal elections. | |
| We steal... | |
| And by the way, I want you to understand something. | |
| I hope you know this. | |
| You know, we got a good... | |
| On September, on February the 3rd... | |
| If you're into, you know, realism and kind of regular thinking, you're more than happy to enjoy it. | |
| I would love for you to come enjoy it. | |
| Meet Mrs. L and me. | |
| We'll be there together and we'll do this stuff. | |
| It'll be wonderful. | |
| It'll be so terrific. | |
| I mean this sincerely. | |
| I would love to see you February 3rd at the Cutting Room in New York City. | |
| It will drive and confound people like you cannot believe. | |
| Another thing too, by the way, one of the reasons why I hate stand-up comedy. | |
| Hate it. | |
| Hate it. | |
| And one of the things, the reason why I hate it, I was trying to figure out, why do I hate stand-up comedy? | |
| And it's simple, because I hate stand-up comics. | |
| They think they're smarter than you. | |
| They think they've out... | |
| They figured something out, where they see something you don't know. | |
| And that they know something, and they're smarter than you, and they know more than you do, and they're just more brilliant. | |
| They see things that you don't know. | |
| They see things. | |
| You understand what I'm saying? | |
| Do you get what I'm trying to say? | |
| You dig it? | |
| They see things, and they think that they invented it. | |
| It's true. | |
| And I don't believe that for a moment. | |
| I don't believe any of this stuff for a moment. | |
| I swear to God, it's nothing personal. | |
| It's not about me being smarter than you, whatever. | |
| I see things. | |
| I have faith in you. | |
| I want you to understand what I'm thinking. | |
| I hope you see it my way. | |
| And then when you tell somebody something, I live in this world of these mindlessly positive people. | |
| Oh, come on. | |
| Be positive. | |
| Have faith. | |
| Come on. | |
| There you go. | |
| That's stupid. | |
| That's crazy. | |
| Have faith. | |
|
Nothing Has Changed
00:04:30
|
|
| This is going straight into the shitter. | |
| You know that, right? | |
| You understand something. | |
| It's going to get worse than anything. | |
| So far, there has not been... | |
| Think about this. | |
| From the time that... | |
| What's his name? | |
| Oh yeah, Biden, I think it is. | |
| From the time that Biden took over, there has not been one correction ever. | |
| Not one person worth notice going to prison. | |
| Nothing's been corrected. | |
| The border, not one person has been stopped. | |
| Nothing. | |
| Nothing. | |
| Let me say this again. | |
| I don't think you've heard Mr. Positive Thinking, Mr. Oh, don't be so glum. | |
| Not one thing has been corrected. | |
| How do you like that? | |
| You happy about that? | |
| Maybe you're positive about that. | |
| I'm not. | |
| Jim Jordan. | |
| Biggest waste of flesh ever. | |
| Think about it. | |
| Oh, Mike Jacobs. | |
| Oh, we got the new one. | |
| And we got Matt Gaetz. | |
| Oh my God, forget it. | |
| And the Democrats are thinking, these people are just worthless. | |
| They have not passed one. | |
| They can't even pass an impeachment inquiry. | |
| The Republicans had Trump impeached twice. | |
| And Mike Jacobs is scratching his ass saying, well, I think maybe we can have an inquiry. | |
| Do we have an inquiry? | |
| Well, I don't know if we should do that. | |
| Well, why don't we table that? | |
| Let's see if we... | |
| Why don't we do that? | |
| Why don't we do that? | |
| Let's bring Miranda Devine. | |
| Miranda? | |
| You want to talk about that Biden laptop from hell? | |
| That was the biggest waste of time ever. | |
| You got to understand something. | |
| There's a place in New York. | |
| I can't... | |
| I'm not going to name the name of it. | |
| It's a place. | |
| Or a lot of these restaurant, how do I say, it's called the Republican Hangout. | |
| They are the biggest bunch of bullshit artists and they think they're all like the Algonquin Roundtable or something. | |
| And they really do. | |
| And one was responsible for the Biden laptop. | |
| Nothing happened. | |
| Pictures, hookers, crack pipes, playing butt bongo and ride them cowboy with meth pipes and crack pipes. | |
| God knows there's probably children, small animals, having illicit activities with soap dishes and speed bumps, mounds of clay, saran wrap. | |
| Who knows? | |
| An otter costume. | |
| And they march. | |
| And they had this testimony before Congress on the laptop. | |
| Matt Taibbi was on. | |
| You remember that one? | |
| And they walked back into this place. | |
| And they're all clapping. | |
| And they feel like we are so... | |
| Remember when you were in high school? | |
| The cool kids, it's like they really think they're cool. | |
| They haven't done anything. | |
| things happen. | |
| And they sit around and they just... | |
| These people actually one night applauded George Santos. | |
| This is the New York Republican intelligentsia. | |
| The cognoscente. | |
| The glitterati. | |
| This is the Republican Party. | |
| 2023 is over. | |
| It's over. | |
| At 2024? | |
| Oh, God. | |
| You can forget it. | |
| Because people want to keep up and be positive. | |
| Be positive. | |
| Come on. | |
| You've got to have faith. | |
| Trump's going to win. | |
| Yay! | |
| Trump's great. | |
| Isn't he great? | |
| He sure is. | |
|
Watch Brian Kilmeade
00:10:22
|
|
| MAGA. | |
| MAGA. | |
| MAGA, MAGA, MAGA. | |
| I'm a MAGA. | |
| You're a MAGA. | |
| Hey! | |
| We're going to win! | |
| Really? | |
| Yeah! | |
| How? | |
| Well, look at the rallies. | |
| I watch Newsmax and Greg Bowling, that filious blowhard. | |
| Oh my God! | |
| This is a... | |
| Dear God! | |
| This is the Gore Vidal of the... | |
| Oh my God! | |
| Look at these people. | |
| Well, you know, Greg Kelly, Greg Kelly! | |
| We're doomed! | |
| Doomed! | |
| By the way, funny thing too, watch, did you watch Brian Kilmeade kiss MBS's ass? | |
| I mean, he's got pucker marks that are probably permanent scarring. | |
| You have never seen, never since Tucker Carlson, just... | |
| Melted in front of his man hero, Elon Musk. | |
| That was embarrassing. | |
| You're cool. | |
| Thank you. | |
| No, really. | |
| I want to be like you. | |
| Don't lose the bow tie. | |
| It says something to the world. | |
| It says, I don't want to follow the rule. | |
| You got it? | |
| Anyway. | |
| Watch that one. | |
| Now, what's happening? | |
| The border. | |
| Wide open. | |
| Where are these people in this country since 2020? | |
| I don't know. | |
| Are they here? | |
| I don't know. | |
| How many kids came in unaccompanied? | |
| I don't know. | |
| How many of those kids are now forever in prostitution? | |
| I don't know. | |
| How many of those kids are being sold? | |
| I don't know. | |
| Did these people have COVID or were they checked? | |
| I don't know. | |
| Did we ever resolve anything about COVID? | |
| I don't know. | |
| Did we ever, in case, did the courts ever say, do you have a constitutional right to refuse to take a vaccine for religious or other reasons? | |
| I don't know. | |
| What was that about? | |
| I don't know. | |
| If they bring mask mandates, do we, do we, is there anybody who, I don't know. | |
| Did we learn anything from COVID? | |
| Nope. | |
| Nope. | |
| Nothing. | |
| What about the George Floyd riots? | |
| Nothing. | |
| BLM, were they ever audited? | |
| Nope. | |
| Ever charged? | |
| Nope. | |
| What about Antifa? | |
| Nope. | |
| Nothing. | |
| Really? | |
| Really. | |
| Nothing happened. | |
| All those cities that were destroyed. | |
| Remember Black Lives Matter? | |
| They were painting the streets. | |
| Remember that? | |
| I don't know. | |
| I don't know. | |
| Rudy Giuliani? | |
| Oh, he's so... | |
| They want... | |
| He is so... | |
| They're going to grind him and, you know, whatever. | |
| And nobody cares. | |
| He's sort of... | |
| He became kind of bilious and that kind of thing. | |
| Dominion? | |
| I don't know what I'm going to know. | |
| So, is Trump going to win the election this time? | |
| Yeah! | |
| Did Ronald McDaniel secure any type of poll watchers or security forces? | |
| No. | |
| Oh, hell, you've heard me say this before. | |
| You've heard me say this before! | |
| Get over it! | |
| It's not changing! | |
| There he is, ladies and gentlemen. | |
| Eric Thaddeus Walter says, my friends, call me the Grim Reaper. | |
| Enjoy your Christmas party tonight. | |
| Don't make me laugh. | |
| I don't envy you. | |
| Make a plan with Mrs. L and escape ASAP. | |
| Oh! | |
| It's funny you say that, Eric. | |
| I'm going to go into seizure. | |
| In the middle of it. | |
| Works every time. | |
| Whoever questions that. | |
| We used to do this thing in school when sometimes we wouldn't want to go into high school. | |
| I don't know why. | |
| People would call up and say, hello, yeah, Mrs. Schaefer. | |
| Hi, listen. | |
| I'm a fever. | |
| No, no, no. | |
| Hello, Mrs. Schaefer. | |
| Yeah, hey, listen. | |
| How are you? | |
| Listen, you can't come in today. | |
| Why? | |
| Projectile bloody diarrhea. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Okay. | |
| Thank you. | |
| Who's going to question you? | |
| Who's going to question you? | |
| And plus, once you're there, it doesn't matter. | |
| You show up, here you go. | |
| You'd be surprised, by the way, how many people don't bring a gift. | |
| That's the one that kills me. | |
| Oh, here's one for you. | |
| I'm going to leave you with it. | |
| I know this is. | |
| I can't do anything. | |
| We have a number of young people in the family and friends. | |
| They have weddings. | |
| Their friends don't give them a single wedding gift. | |
| That's a new thing. | |
| I know this has nothing to do with Trump or, you know, Israel or whatever. | |
| I just have to tell you this. | |
| Kids today, young people today, are social pigs. | |
| They don't bring a wedding gift. | |
| They think that their presence at a wedding is enough. | |
| Can you believe this? | |
| There is a hell, a smoking section for you for that. | |
| You got it? | |
| It's absolutely... | |
| Kids today are... | |
| They're not pigs. | |
| Pigs are good. | |
| They're swine. | |
| They're noble. | |
| Your poor son, they wallow about, they do their thing. | |
| These people are disgusting. | |
| Now, what I'm looking forward to, more than anything else, Mrs. Zoll and I are going to have a... | |
| We're going to stay in for Christmas Eve. | |
| We're going to have... | |
| I bought the most beautiful Tuscan kale tonight you've ever seen in your life. | |
| This is the greatest thing anybody's ever seen. | |
| It's going to be just wonderful. | |
| Wonderful! | |
| Not just kale, but stay home and watch stuff and watch TV. | |
| By the way, you want to see a dog maestro? | |
| Bradley Cooper? | |
| P.O.S. | |
| The worst should go to the prosthetic nose. | |
| That's it. | |
| It's all makeup. | |
| It's the worst! | |
| I just, I watched the original documentary, it was a PBS or American Classics, and then you watch this, garbage! | |
| America has lost its sense of class. | |
| Class. | |
| There's no more Jimmy Breslin, there's no more Westbrook Pegler, there's no more Gore Vidal, but there is, and I say this, There is a new spirit of young ladies. | |
| Brianna on the hill and Crystal on breaking points. | |
| Absolutely. | |
| And remember, I don't have to agree with them, but the fact that they're saying something that is not a public opinion is my absolute wonderful thought. | |
| Oh, one more thing. | |
| Ah, you know what? | |
| There is no morning. | |
| Look, you have a great night. | |
| I hope this... | |
| Anybody here get this mung? | |
| Anybody here get that mung? | |
| It's there. | |
| Be careful. | |
| And when it happens, do yourself a favor. | |
| Sit back and sweat through it. | |
| Sweating to the oldies. | |
| Remember that? | |
| Remember him? | |
| Is he alive? | |
| He's alive, but he's out. | |
| He's out of his mind? | |
| No, he's out of sight. | |
| Oh, oh, oh. | |
| Could be out of his mind. | |
| We don't know. | |
| Remember that guy? | |
| He never did anything. | |
| He never really sweat. | |
| He did some things that I could do. | |
| Today these people are doing ropes and whatever, and he'd be like this. | |
| Hey! | |
| He's doing like this bad cruise ship chorus line stuff. | |
| What are you going to do? | |
| Anyway, we love you. | |
| Eric, grazie mille. | |
| I'll tell you tomorrow about the party. | |
| We've got this gift of cookies you've got to see. | |
| This thing is a ton. | |
| Where did you get that thing? | |
| Where did you get this thing? | |
| Yeah, but it's like in a box. | |
| It's huge! | |
| I've got to show it. | |
| I can't show it to you. | |
| But it's enormous. | |
| And there's something that looks like Christmas cookies sometimes. | |
| I don't really eat them, but do you ever see them where they look great? | |
| They say, wow! | |
| Some of this stuff is like, you know, Christmas cookies look great at Christmas time, okay? | |
| Oh, we're also going to see the bad plastic surgery. | |
| Oh, yeah. | |
| I'm going to take a piece of tape. | |
| You ever see that where you take a piece of tape here and here and you pull it up and I'm going to walk in and say, I want to feel at home with all you hags with this horrible surgical work like you've been through a windshield. | |
| Have you ever seen? | |
| Again, I don't fit in. | |
| I don't fit in. | |
| I give up. | |
| I'm sorry, God. | |
| Why did you do this? | |
| Why did you put me on this planet during this time? | |
| I don't understand it. | |
| I don't fit in. | |
| They don't listen to me. | |
| I'm going to try, but I don't think I'm being very effective. | |
| Anyway, my friends, you have a great and a glorious day. | |
| We'll see you tomorrow, 8 a.m. | |
| And until then, dear friends, don't remember, don't forget these words, these words, the monkey's dead, the show's over, sue ya! | |