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Nov. 22, 2023 - The Podcast of the Lotus Eaters

01:32:59

The Podcast of the Lotus Eaters #790

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	Hello and welcome to the podcast of the Lotus Eaters for a day in the week, which is known as Thanksgiving Eve.
	I'm reliably informed by our American expert, Carl Benjamin.
	I have no idea what Thanksgiving is.
	No, me neither.
	I don't even know if Thanksgiving Eve is a thing.
	But also, Harry is here to be our British expert.
	Yes, I am British, thank you for noticing.
	Actually, that's a good put.
	You're Irish, and who knows what you are?
	Yeah, I'm definitely a mongrel.
	There you go.
	We cover the Earth with our genetics.
	But if you would like to come and check out, well, which genetics will survive, you can come and check out The Lad's Hour, which is tomorrow, about the zombie apocalypse, which is obviously coming, and how we're going to deal with it.
	I suppose our different ideas of how we're going to deal with it.
	Although, we still haven't figured out what the zombies are, so I think we need to learn some ground rules.
	Well, you can determine the criteria as you explain each scenario, right?
	I think it's got to be... I mean, you said that you'd die.
	Yeah, well I'm thinking... Immediately, so is that in running zombie world, you would die?
	I think anyone would die in that.
	Yeah, I think a lot of people would.
	28 days later, that's what I've got in prison.
	Yeah, that would be pretty difficult.
	I'm thinking Dawn of the Dead when there's shambling zombies.
	That sounds like a plausible survival scenario.
	In Dawn of the Dead, loads of people hole up in the countryside, all of the rifle associations hole up in the countryside and take turns pot-shotting them, so that would be easy.
	That sounds kind of fun.
	Do you reckon you could swim to the Isle of Wight?
	I reckon you could.
	I mean, it wouldn't be easy, but there are also people on the Isle of Wight.
	No, I mean, like, that's my get-out plan, because they're shambling zombies.
	You just outrun them, get to the sea, and then, you know, a little paddle.
	They can't paddle.
	They're zombies.
	Anyway, for more interesting conversations such as that, you can join us for LATDAR tomorrow.
	But they just float and wash up on the shore.
	I don't believe in that.
	I don't believe in zombie driftwood.
	If they're the kind of zombies that decompose then surely they would like be broken apart by the tide.
	I think the water would probably affect that.
	I think there'd definitely be like at some point maybe there'd be like a zombie horde that falls off a cliff and then just washes up and then you're swarmed by zombies.
	No they drown.
	They fall off a cliff that would break all of their bones.
	Into the water.
	Anyway, for more deets on the zombie apocalypse tomorrow, buy a premium subscription and come join us at Mads Islands.
	We'll be sitting around and chatting.
	I was talking to Seb Gawker about it and he was like, you know, I was just like, basically he was like, what's this?
	I'm like, it's kind of like the view, but for men.
	Which I think is the best description of it, right?
	That's actually true.
	Yeah, but that's also why it's popular.
	So, for this podcast though, we shall be talking about how Farage is doing on I'm a Celebrity, where will the Palestinians go, and also the Ego War, which... It's time.
	It's time to have that conversation.
	The Ego War?
	Yeah, there's been a war.
	There's been a lot of casualties, but we'll get into the death list later on.
	I want to see the Wikipedia stats on it.
	Well, you know, I'm done with Israel-Palestine.
	What about you?
	Let's just move on to the real international conflict of mud wrestling.
	So, if you'd like to... I was about to announce Ladsauer again for some reason.
	I'll just do it again.
	I like Ladsauer.
	I think we've identified the shambling zombie in the room.
	Yeah, that's definitely me.
	Otherwise, we shall begin with Nigel Farage.
	So, I have done something that I've never done before.
	Which is watch I'm a Celebrity, get me out of here.
	Because it's become politically relevant since Nigel Farage was offered a million and a half pounds to go on it.
	I was like, okay.
	Fair enough.
	I'll watch it if I have to.
	And it was... So ITV won?
	Yes, they won.
	Okay.
	I'm now just plus one to their viewing figures, right?
	But the thing is, I haven't watched normie TV for a long time, right?
	For a long time.
	And it struck me when I was watching it, just how alien this is to me.
	This is an entire, there's a river of culture that I'm just not a part of that.
	I, I just, I've sort of dipped my toe into like, Ooh, that's annoying and gross.
	Uh, and just.
	It makes me afraid for this country's future.
	I bet you're already eyeing up a Barrett new build.
	I was gonna say, would you like some lip fillers?
	It really is deep.
	I was gonna morph into a Dino.
	I'm really not.
	Um, I, I, I don't like it.
	And the adverts.
	Local man watches TV, comes out traumatized.
	Yeah, I don't like it.
	Like the adverts are just really annoying.
	Just really, really annoying.
	Like what's the meerkat one?
	Yeah, that's it.
	And it's just like, I haven't seen that since the early 2000s.
	You know, like I've been, I've managed to avoid this entire, it makes me want to do a thing about the sort of 2000s consensus and what Britain was like, because you probably don't even remember it, right?
	Just insufferable, how nothing had any meaning.
	And that's what I'm a celebrity kind of is, right?
	It's the kind of plastic fake world that the early 2000s are trying to create and for some reason my tablet's not working so I'll just use the monitor.
	They were trying to create and it's just everything I hate about modernity packaged.
	I really thought this was going to be fun but never mind!
	When the adverts pop up, is the demographic composition of the couples what I've been led to believe it is?
	I don't know.
	Like, there was one advert... Carl's just been going red during the advert.
	No, no, no, no.
	No, it's not even... No, I'm just looking at them like, I don't understand the world that this is, right?
	There's a Maltese advert that popped up.
	The only one I really remember, I guess maybe it's because I grew up in the 90s and you had to watch the adverts for things, right?
	And I'm watching on, like, the ITV web player, and you're not allowed to skip the adverts.
	So you do have to sit through them.
	And so I've got this kind of thing where when an advert comes on, my brain just turns off.
	And so I'm like immune to, and this is probably a Gen X thing.
	You had to sit through adverts and adverts were always just repugnant because advertising wasn't very sophisticated in the nineties.
	And so you just turn your brain off.
	So you, it's like a defense mechanism, right?
	Against capitalism.
	Uh, but the only one I remember is this Maltesers advert where this black man walks into a family, the living room at Christmas, and this is black family in the living room.
	And he brings in his Nan, who is kind of half black.
	She's a very light skinned black woman.
	And then this really weird, creepy white guy with her.
	Oh, I've seen that on YouTube.
	Yeah.
	He says, this is Nan's partner.
	And the Nan says, he's only saying that because he doesn't want you to think of us getting it on.
	So it's like buy Maltesers.
	Yeah, yeah, exactly.
	And this sells Maltesers how?
	But it's like, okay, so it's a weird like reverse situation where it's not like the white family with the black guy and it's like, okay, what is going on?
	Like, has it become so normal?
	They're like, oh no, the black family is doing too well.
	We need to, we need to inject.
	I have no idea like what I'm looking at.
	Does Nigel Farage have something to do with this segment?
	He does, but I'm just... I'm just... Because I get the feeling, right, that a lot of our audience probably don't watch this nonsense either, right?
	And so, it's entirely possible... So this is like a report from the trenches?
	Yeah, it is.
	It's like a report from a parallel universe, right?
	That's happening all around us, we just can't perceive it.
	Thank God.
	So someone needs to edit all of this with a Vietnam flashback, black and white filter.
	Or just literally the I'm a Celebrity logo over it because it's awful.
	It's the jungle, right?
	These giant gold letters with glittering diamond in the center of them come down and it's just like, it's the tackiest, awfulest, most Dino thing you've ever seen in your life.
	And I'm just like, right, okay.
	I hate everything about this, but I've got to sit through it.
	I have to endure, because I'm doing this for you.
	You don't have to.
	I feel like I kind of do, though, because it's politically relevant.
	And I think that, you know, our audience deserves the best reporting.
	This is just, again, you know, you get some people who go to war zones, and I go to cultural war zones, like I'm a celebrity.
	Anyway, right, so it begins with Ant & Dec.
	Bro, you watch TV!
	No, I don't.
	I don't have a TV.
	No, that's what you've done!
	Yeah, I know.
	Yeah, it's awful.
	I don't disagree.
	The psychic damage may never be undone, okay?
	Don't act like I'm wrong, I'm totally right on this, right?
	But yeah, so I haven't seen any of this in years, and I'm so glad, right?
	But anyway, so it begins with Ant & Dec, and Ant & Dec are...
	Old, right?
	Now I remember Ant and Dec when the last time I used to watch TV when they were young.
	And so it was weird watching them being old, but also they've not got funny.
	Like they're still not funny and it's really embarrassing.
	Like they keep taking pop shots of GB News and it's like, okay.
	That's not what I was expecting from that.
	I know, right?
	They're like, they're making jokes about GB News not having any viewership.
	And it's like, okay, but imagine if I was one of those popular news shows on TV.
	That's why you have him on.
	That's why you paid him a million and a half to come on.
	That's why you ask him every year to go on.
	Like, why are you acting like GB News is a nothing?
	Because that's where his show is.
	But anyway, it's very, um, it's very much just, oh, you need to hate GB News.
	You need to hate GB News.
	Don't ever watch GB News.
	The thing is, I bet most of the audience vote Brexit.
	Like, what are you talking about?
	This is a working class show.
	But this is good, isn't it?
	Because that's such weakness.
	Desperation.
	It totally is.
	It totally is.
	But anyway, before we go on, I forgot to plug the merch.
	Check out my England Expect mug.
	Finally arrived today.
	No, yesterday.
	So I was like thrilled.
	But we've also got some posters, which are awesome.
	So you can actually put it up on the wall because these are great quotes and they deserve to be on the wall.
	I'm actually going to get the Nelson one.
	So I love that Nelson one.
	Although I also particularly like the Wellington one.
	Moving on.
	Can't really say much more about that.
	Oh, yeah.
	And sign up, get 33% off and you get a 12% discount on the merch.
	Anyway.
	Before we go on, what I'm going to do, I'm not going to use any clips or anything because ITV are doubtless just going to strike them.
	You know, it's like their big thing.
	So I'm just going to describe what happened.
	Also, thank you for not putting us through the editing of anything.
	It's just insufferable, right?
	So it begins with normies.
	It begins with total normies.
	Are you that eager, Callum?
	It's not that bad, boys.
	But you haven't watched it, have you?
	Hey, I have!
	When?
	I've watched all me TV when I visit my parents.
	They've still got a TV, the Blossom.
	I think it's that bad.
	And I have not seen you smile in years, Callum.
	Exactly!
	What effect has it had?
	It's all coincidence, I'm sure.
	But anyway, so the whole thing is framed as if the jungle is scary.
	And it's awful.
	And the audience should be really happy that they're sat in Dino land in their, in their barren new build, right?
	The whole thing is to, to convince the Dino, don't ever move.
	The world is terrifying.
	Look at this evil jungle.
	Oh, and then we're going to drag these celebrities out.
	You're safe.
	You're safe.
	Go and get yourself a hot chocolate, you know, just relax, turn the central heating on, you know, everything else, your recruitment job.
	Exactly.
	You know, just be thankful you're in an air conditioned office, you know, everything about that.
	Right.
	And then you get to see a bunch of gross challenges, but Nigel immediately comes across a better showman than the other celebrities.
	Now I say celebrities, I've only heard of one of these guys and that's because he's a Hollyoaks actor.
	And so he's been doing Hollyoaks for like 30 years or something.
	Right.
	And so you've, you know, I've seen his face, but I'll say I don't watch Hollyoaks.
	So I don't know what character he plays or anything about him, but I've never heard of any of the other people.
	And so it's like, right.
	Maybe that's kind of contributing to, as we'll get to, a kind of slump in ratings.
	I mean, last year they had, like, Boy George and various other, like, famous people, as well as Matt Hancock.
	I know who Boy George is.
	Listen, right, for Zoomers, Boy George was a pop star in the 80s, right?
	Yeah, of course I knew that.
	But the point is, there were people on that the general public will have known, right?
	I don't know the general public knows any of these people because I've never heard of any of them.
	It is true, the class of celebrity.
	It's dramatically climbed.
	What a 2020 celebrity.
	Britney Spears' sister is one.
	It's like, why would I care about Britney Spears' sister?
	How's she a draw?
	A YouTuber from London is on there.
	The average British public's son, I don't know any of these people.
	So we need to wait for our invites for next year then.
	Yeah, exactly, when am I on there, right?
	They're going to pay a half, well sorry, one million.
	Yeah, I'll get paid only a million.
	But anyway, the intro makes it look like it's like Nigel versus the Dinos, which is really funny.
	And then Anton Deck introduced Farage like he's Satan himself, right?
	It's like, yeah, all these people and then Nigel Farage.
	Dun, dun, dun.
	There's a big thunderclap.
	And, you know, the screen now, it doesn't actually do that.
	But like, that's the implication.
	The way they talk is really funny.
	It's like with a really knowing look of this villain.
	But Farage doesn't come across like a villain on it at all, which is great.
	It's very highly produced, and doubtless the dinos are loving it.
	But the thing is, the jungle itself looks like a stage.
	It doesn't look like a real jungle.
	And at one point they're like, oh, it's been raining all night, but they're all completely dry.
	It's like, everything they've got is completely dry.
	None of them look disheveled.
	It's like... I've never understood this aspect of I'm a celebrity, get me out of here.
	Is that a real jungle, or is that a studio, like... I don't think it's a real jungle.
	So it's a sports center with some jungle in it.
	Yeah, I think so.
	That's what it looks like.
	I mean, I don't know.
	I could, you know, you could probably find out, but I'm just trying to take it on face value.
	It doesn't look like a jungle, but Farage is like, I'm a hero to some people and a villain to others.
	And like Ant and Deck keep making comments.
	It's like, oh, did Nigel veer too far to the right on that challenge?
	It's like, no.
	Anyway, to give you a sort of Summary of there's a guy called Sam Thompson on it.
	He describes himself as a cheeky chappy and it's like, Oh, it's a woman from extenders on it.
	I've found some secret knowledge here.
	Apparently it's not technically a jungle.
	It's an Australian lowland subtropical rainforest, and it has a roof.
	It has a roof?
	Right, okay, well that explains it.
	Because they're complaining about the rain all night, but they're all completely dry.
	You're not bedraggled or disheveled.
	It's a tractable 50 foot high canopy.
	Right.
	So anyway, the point being, it's obviously very staged.
	We've broken the magic for all our viewers at home.
	Yeah.
	But just to put a cap on it, the whole point of the show is a kind of public humiliation ritual.
	Cause the British public loves to see their idols torn down and humiliated.
	And that's why Hancock went on it.
	It was almost like part of his public apology.
	Exactly.
	Uh, and so that's the point.
	And so of course you get these gross challenges.
	Like the first one is Farage having to shove his face in like this boarded up car in the Australian outback.
	And there are a bunch of snakes in there and you've got to use your tongue to unscrew something, get it across a wire to make it knock out and collect the token.
	Right.
	And Farage.
	takes it very, very coolly, which I actually think isn't the best strategy because it makes him look like none of this phases him at all.
	But that's the whole point.
	The British probably won't see you go, oh no, a snake.
	But obviously these are probably defanged snakes or something.
	They're not going to bite your face.
	But then there's this, the YouTuber is this large black lady called Nella, who at first I found really insufferable.
	But Farage gets a kind of rapport going with her And that's interesting because, um, she deflects the British public's hatred off of anyone else and onto herself.
	Moving on.
	Uh, there's another group.
	So there's split into these two groups.
	It's Farage, Nella, um, she's rather stereotypical.
	So she's loud.
	I did see a clip of her being incredibly irrational.
	Yes.
	You talked about her father dying, some guy said... We'll get to it, because yeah, this is how she's really... Sorry, this is going to go on, but this is going to be an epic journey, right?
	So anyway, at one point, a bunch of the guys have to like... Some of the challenges are quite scary as well.
	I don't really like heights.
	And so at one point, they're put on top of a giant building and there are these poles going out.
	And of course, they're linked to a winch or whatever, but they've got to climb out along these poles and move these stars to the end of the poles.
	And they're like, literally like 500 feet above the ground.
	With nothing else other than the hands to hold on to this pole.
	I mean, if they fall, they're going to be caught, but like, that is a pretty scary damn thing.
	And I was watching it like, Oh, okay, not, not for me.
	Uh, and then, you know, they get like strapped down and bugs poured on them as they're trying to catch like thing with their mouth and stuff like that.
	It's just very, very gross.
	Right.
	But, uh, they arrived at the camp and they sleep in the jungle.
	It looks like stage.
	And then you get the infamous Nigel Farage's ass shot.
	So they've got a shower there of some sort, which is, I guess, rigged to look like a river coming off of a little waterfall.
	And Nigel Farage is in there having a shower.
	And one of the women walks past and is like, why are you going and perving at Farage in the shower?
	But of course they've got a camera in the shower.
	And, uh, obviously this went, uh, not very well for Actually other people, because the real story that came out of this was Lorraine Kelly, the television presenter in Britain, uh, who's body shaming Farage and saying he was ugly.
	And it's like, really interesting commentary.
	from people in glass houses who are throwing stones.
	But then she got in trouble for body shaming, which I thought was funny, and so I concluded.
	That's a weird headline though, right?
	Usually the story would be like, disgusting, Nigel Farage has arse.
	Well that's what her instinctive response was.
	Nigel Farage noted arse over.
	Yeah, that's literally what her instinctive response was.
	Uh, and, uh, this got a lot of backlash.
	For example, one fan writing, is he only 59?
	You get the face you deserve, which is what she says.
	Uh, with three women laughing, I guess body shaming men is fine.
	And isn't it Lorraine until a woman's weight is mentioned.
	That's true.
	But so far, Nigel, there are three episodes in and so far, Nigel has not shown any fear or concerns about the challenges.
	And I actually think there's a bit of a mistake.
	Like he actually should try and show a bit of revulsion, but then going, okay, fine, I'm going to do it anyway.
	But instead he's treating everything as cool as a cucumber.
	And it's just like, Come on now, you've got an audience here that you need to be playing towards and, you know, you need to show a bit of disgust.
	Um, he does have a quite a good bit where him and Nella have to eat these pizzas, but of course the pizzas are just the most vomit inducing things you've ever seen.
	Like there's a pizza entirely made of penises, pizza entirely made of anuses, a pizza entirely, like, you know, Who came up with these ideas?
	Why do you look like you're thinking, oh, it's not the worst, I suppose?
	The people who craft Dino World came up with these things, right?
	That's what people think of when they're sat between calls in the call center.
	Oh, what kind of pizza would be the worst pizza I'd like?
	They absolutely would.
	Did you see Najafraj eating the anus pizza?
	I couldn't believe it.
	I'd never put that in my mouth.
	And don't get me wrong, obviously it looks totally disgusting.
	And that's the point.
	Yeah, I've worked on a call center that is actually the conversation going on.
	So have I!
	I know, right?
	But the point is, like, Nigel and Nella actually get quite a good rapport going, because she's like, she calls him Farage.
	She's like, Farage!
	Farage!
	You've got to give me a countdown Farage!
	He's like, five, four, three, two, and then she shoves it and it's gross, right?
	But he just eats it pretty solidly.
	He does quite a good job.
	At one point he discusses Boris, which is surprisingly interesting and everyone's like, because Nigel's a bit older than the rest, most of them anyway.
	And so, and they're not involved in politics.
	Okay.
	What's Boris like?
	And so he just tells you, you know, well, he's surprisingly introverted, but he's a total bumbler in real life, but he's entertaining in small doses.
	And, uh, and there's another bit where they talk about Farage's plane crash, which is again, quite an interesting thing.
	Cause he was like, oh yeah, like all broken, you know, my bones, punctured lungs, stuff like that.
	Um, and then of course you have the inevitable Brexit discussion.
	Cause one of them's a French chef.
	It's like, ah.
	And he's just whining.
	He's just absolutely... He's going to be absolutely arrogant about it.
	Yeah.
	Like, Z intolerance.
	Brexit was about immigration.
	Your poster was shameful.
	It was about demonizing migrants.
	Have you seen France?
	Exactly.
	It's just Farage is very soft on it.
	He doesn't push hard, actually.
	But the Frenchie, like, buries it down to saying, you're just saying we don't want more Europeans coming in.
	And what we're getting now is immigration from other countries.
	It's like, right, so it's racist immigration policy.
	Immigration complaint from the French guy.
	We're getting all the Arabs.
	He's got a point.
	You said it was a French do it.
	Bring more Algerians.
	Trust me.
	Exactly.
	Right.
	But Faraj just makes the point, look, Brexit was just about self-governance.
	And at one point, the French guy is like, Nigel is kind of hiding behind facts and not facing reality.
	He's hiding behind facts?
	Yes.
	He's not facing reality.
	Anyway.
	Nella and the French guy have this set to.
	And it's totally unreasonable on Nella's part, right?
	The French guy, like he, she doesn't want some food and he's like saying, Oh, you should have some food.
	She's 26.
	He's 51.
	And at some point in the conversation, like, he's just like, well, I'm old enough to be your dad.
	He doesn't mean anything by it.
	He obviously doesn't mean anything by it.
	And she's just like, right.
	And gets in a big mood because apparently her parents passed away when she was 22.
	So like four years ago, I don't know if he knew this, you know?
	Um, but he wasn't making a dig at her dad or, you know, dead parents or anything.
	Like, can you imagine if you did?
	Yeah, exactly.
	He'd be mad, right?
	And then he went over and he was like, right, I don't understand the problem.
	Okay.
	I'm sorry I've offended you.
	And she's like, no, I don't care.
	I don't want to be friends with you.
	You can just go sit on the other side.
	And obviously everyone at home is like, that's totally unreasonable.
	What is wrong with you?
	Uh, and you know, somehow they've gotten side with the French guy.
	Uh, and so she didn't cover herself in glory here.
	Um, there's just lots and lots of posts like this, like something, it comes to something when Nigel Farage is on a celebrity, he's not the most controversial campaign.
	It's like, yeah, yeah.
	Uh, she's clearly ginning something up out of nothing.
	And so Farage is not getting a bunch of negative headlines.
	It's her that's getting the negative headlines.
	And so Farage is actually doing a good job just being kind of personable and getting people on side.
	This is the thing that's actually quite fun about Dino Spaces, interacting with politics.
	Because you can tell no one cares about politics in those spaces.
	What do they care about?
	If you're a nice person?
	Yeah.
	And I'm reminded of that meme that came out of Nick Fuentes going on those shows with the girls.
	And that girl sat there with the pickle helmet.
	And she's just listening to him talk about Israel or whatever.
	It's like...
	And then they all are friends with him because his politics literally means zero to them.
	Yeah.
	So in the usual space we're in where because you disagree with me you're saying that just doesn't exist.
	But she gets on really well with Farage because Farage was the one supporting her through the gross challenge and she did actually do very well in that.
	She ate 9 out of 10 pizzas and he ate 10 out of 10 pizzas.
	Well, that's a good result.
	You know, that got them like, because for each challenge, the better you do, the more like food the camp gets and like special luxuries the camp gets.
	So you're doing it for other people.
	So she did really well and Farage like kind of held her hand through it and was very supportive towards it.
	And so she, you know, you could tell they had a bit of a thing going and the French guy is really annoyed her.
	She's made herself the avatar of hate from the general public.
	And so it's like Farage is kind of smooth sailing so far, right?
	Remind me, why is it that she's classified as some form of celebrity?
	Is this gif of her?
	What on earth is shopping for sneakers?
	I don't know.
	Why would I know?
	I have no idea!
	Because, honestly...
	Alright, if I'm a producer, one of the things that I'm thinking when I'm getting Nigel Farage on is, right, the ultimate challenge for... because you're in the TV producer realm where everybody despises Nigel Farage, you're all a bunch of lefties and such.
	You think, what's the ultimate challenge?
	I know, the most unlikable person in the world, Nigel Farage.
	How do I get people to like him?
	And one of the ways that you would do that is you put the most insufferable, most awful person in the world right next to him.
	Thing is, she's not that bad.
	Right.
	She's not that or you've just been describing how she's the one getting all the negative.
	I appreciate that.
	But I personally don't find her that bad.
	Um, she is, she, she was very annoying at first.
	She got a little less annoying.
	And to be honest with you, I'm kind of enjoying the fight that she's having with this Fred guy, the French guy.
	So like, um, I'm thinking kind of tactically and speaking of tactical, right.
	At one point, and this is the real mistake I think Farage has made so far.
	He, he tries to talk in confidence with one of the women and it's like, Nigel, You're being filmed and you have a microphone on you.
	Everything is being picked up.
	They're definitely going to clip anything that could make you even look slightly bad and make sure millions of people see that.
	So why would you say anything about the plan behind going on?
	I'm a celebrity.
	So of course, everyone in the political space is well aware that Nigel goes on.
	I'm a celebrity because he's going to reach millions of people.
	He's going to humanize himself.
	He's going to make himself likable to the general public and therefore In the next coming elections, people are like, oh yeah, I like Nigel Farage and I'm a celebrity, I might vote for him.
	Obviously, obviously, because politics is all about likeability.
	I don't care what anyone says about politics.
	That's all it is.
	Universal suffrage was such a mistake.
	Yeah, no, no, it totally was.
	It totally was.
	How are you voting this year?
	Well, he was on I Am A Celebrity.
	That's why people vote for Boris.
	They just liked him.
	I know.
	You know?
	And the reason they're not voting for the Conservatives is they don't like them.
	It's literally that simple.
	But Praj ends up saying this, he says, he's talking to this woman who's I think a food critic again never heard of her but he says you know oh well you know i wanted to do the challenge because it's 25 because he so they the public votes for who's going to do the challenge and nella gets selected to do the challenge and farage says to this woman i wanted to do the challenge because it was 25 of the airtime it sounds a bit cynical but there you go it's like okay that now makes the like you know i know what's going to happen there in living rooms around the country
	there's going to be someone in the living room goes ah see see he's just doing it for his own career and And that's because that's how it comes across.
	And it's like, no, don't say stuff like that.
	You're being recorded, even if that's the case.
	But, um, but no one seems to have picked up on it.
	It doesn't seem to have become a big deal, but like, that's definitely something, uh, that was said.
	And when he was talking about his plane crash, he has a pretty good, uh, comeback.
	Cause a bunch of them are like, so are you okay with just saying like unpopular things?
	You know, you'll get up and.
	Make a speech, you'll just be unpopular.
	It's like, well, it depends who you're unpopular with, you know?
	So like Nigel completely like reverses it.
	That's quite a good job there.
	I just like that concept that you go into politics just to be like, we should dump more sewage.
	I don't really know what the point of that would be.
	But that's the point.
	It shows, I mean, A, most people agreed with Brexit.
	Nigel Farage actually has the popular view here.
	Yeah.
	And she's like, oh, but don't you mind being unpopular?
	Yeah, with remaining lefties, fine.
	But anyway, I thought we'd give some Guardian reviews.
	One star?
	Yeah!
	I'm shocked.
	One star Guardian review.
	It's going to be a cakewalk for Nigel Farage.
	Because he is quite a personable chap.
	But you notice that's not a review of the show?
	I mean, immediately, he's not reviewing the show.
	He's just like, I don't like that he's having a good time.
	Yeah, that's precisely.
	And that he's...
	Uh, doing well with the public.
	Um, they're very angry.
	I'll read a little bit of the salt just because it's so good.
	Right.
	Uh, it's ridiculous.
	Ridiculous thing that I'm a celebrity.
	Get me out of here.
	It was over a good television program last year.
	They gave it glowing reviews.
	After all, it's a holdout from the nasty noughties, a grim sideshow that has long traded on public humiliation and animal cruelty.
	It's the modern equivalent of the stocks, but with all the vicarious thrill, deadened by the knowledge that its subjects have been paid several thousands of pounds to be treated like that.
	It's always been awful, but how easy it is to be nostalgic for the good old days of I Am A Celebrity!
	Now that Nigel Farage is on it, however repellent the show was, however many times it forced people it's tears in the name of entertainment, at least it didn't have Farage's frog face gurning and leering through it.
	That is just the crying Wojak mask, personified.
	They did a ranking of celebrity campmates, who do you think was at the bottom of the ranking?
	Was it Nigel Farage?
	That's right!
	Who else could have been at the bottom spot but the Brexit firestarter?
	That bin fire started.
	Oh yeah, bin fire started, that's right.
	But yeah, they're very, very angry about that, of course.
	ITV normalizes the abhorrent by putting Nigel Farage in the jungle.
	He's pretty normal.
	Like, everyone knows who Farage is.
	Farage was all reptilian smiles, searching for the charm button, searching for the hero inside himself.
	The artifice was there for all to see.
	He said it was like a camping adventure.
	Not that he'd ever been on one.
	Why not?
	I mean, he's a kid at some point, right?
	Which one seems more like a reptile, this individual, who's in such spite, as you can see here, or the man just enjoying life?
	Yeah, I know, like, the bitterness is amazing.
	Nigel's making me, giving me the ick, says Barbara Ellen.
	He's a celebrity, but Nigel Farage gives me the creepy crawlies.
	I don't think you were in anyway.
	Yeah, I don't think it's really an issue.
	But the viewing figures are actually down.
	Is this TV?
	Yeah, well, who knows?
	It's down by about 2 million viewers.
	I mean, ITV, no, sorry, The Independent say the series had an average of 9 to 11 million viewers.
	Is that how averages work?
	I think the average of 9 to 11 million viewers might be 10 million viewers, actually.
	TVs measure their statistics weirdly in the UK.
	They do.
	But this one just had an audience peak of 7.8 million and an average of 7 million.
	So, OK.
	But Nigel Farage is the only noteworthy person on there, as far as I can tell.
	Like, I mean, maybe the Hollywood, the Hollyoaks actor, he seems like a really nice chap.
	He's really boring.
	That's the thing.
	All of the other people are just really boring.
	Like I haven't, I didn't want someone with like boy George, but at least he's a big personality and probably was interesting to watch be a diva or something, you know, like everyone on that is just really, really boring.
	And that's why like Nella is, she's the only big personality on there.
	And she's not even angry with Farage, because of course she doesn't care about politics or Brexit or anything like that.
	And Farage is just being nice to her.
	So it's just like, it's really weird.
	Like, they're totally lame ducks.
	And I'm actually wondering, is it Farage people are tuning out for?
	Or is it because this just doesn't seem like a great show?
	There we go.
	Visit from Dinoland.
	I'm sorry you had to go through that.
	I feel enriched.
	It was quite stressful to be honest.
	You've added a new layer of diversity to my life.
	Yeah, but the one thing though is I'm really glad I don't watch, I'm not a part of that world.
	It's so vapid.
	It's such a vapid world.
	I suppose we'll move on.
	Alright!
	So now that we've taken a trip to Normieland, let's take a trip over to the Middle East, where I'm going to ask the question of, where will all of the Palestinians go?
	Because this is a very... Germany.
	Well, pretty much.
	It's not quite as simple as that.
	I was going to say Germany or Sweden.
	All roads lead to Germany if you're a migrant or a refugee coming into Europe.
	That's the rule that I found out.
	Because about a month ago now, after the hostilities started between Israel and Gaza, I think Israel Netanyahu ordered an expulsion of all of them.
	He ordered them to leave.
	I think that was 1.1 to 1.2 million people and the routes to get out of there are still in conflict as well.
	Whether Egypt's going to let them through.
	We told them to go to the south because they were going to do actions in Gaza.
	Which would be going through Egypt.
	But Egypt is very worried about trying to do something like that because they're worried that all of these refugees, if they end up in our country, they will end up staying in our country.
	And we don't want all of the burden that comes with this.
	But we'll get into those details as we go on.
	In Egypt, they're a burden.
	In Germany, they're a strength.
	Absolutely.
	Because, yeah, we always know where any form of refugee crisis or conflict in North Africa or the Middle East will lead.
	It will lead to Europe, through Germany, through France, across the channel, to potentially your front living room.
	But there is good news, which is that there is always excellent videos to watch on the website, including part three of the now legendary The absolutely epochal liberalism debate.
	I love Josh's face in this.
	This is a wonderful... What did Josh unleash here?
	This was his idea.
	Well, I mean, you were part of it.
	Is this an accurate summation of the debate, would you say?
	Yeah, yeah.
	I mean, Conor's right where it's the last 20 minutes of the real bombshell, because I'm just at the point where it's just got to be death to John Lennon's ideal.
	Death to imagine.
	That's what it has to be.
	I'm not going to complain at that.
	Did Josh literally explode?
	I'll have to watch it and find out.
	I suppose you will have to find out.
	Find out if Josh exploded.
	It's a really good debate and it's very high level as well.
	Very high level debate.
	You don't get debates like this on TV.
	Not on I'm a Celebrity.
	And DEC.
	I don't know, maybe Ant and Dec have untold debts to their character.
	Absolutely.
	Or I've not watched any of them.
	They obviously don't.
	At one point, the teleprompter goes off and that's it, the show is basically cut.
	And it goes blank for about five minutes and then it comes back saying, sorry about the technical difficulties.
	So without a teleprompter, they're just done.
	Anyway, well instead of submitting yourself to Dino water torture like Carl did, submit yourself to this instead and enrich your mind by watching the part three of the debate and it says the finale but Is it really?
	No, nothing settles.
	Nothing's ever over.
	Nothing settles.
	So, you can watch this along with everything else on the website.
	If you subscribe, you can subscribe for as little as £5 per month.
	And, of course, we've still got, shocked it's still going, but it is, and you can still take advantage of it, the birthday code if you sign up via Stripe, which will give you 33% off of your first three months.
	So, I'll get into the news.
	I saw this the other day, and I posted about it on Twitter, and, oh God, John, do you want to sort this out for me, please?
	Which one do you click?
	What have I just accepted?
	What have I agreed to?
	Schleisen or Zurheisen.
	They both sound like forms of punishment.
	It's like a medieval German dungeon.
	Do you want the Schleisen or the Zurheisen?
	It's like, I don't know!
	You know, interestingly, on the German language, Tool on one of their songs have a man giving a very ominous sounding speech in German.
	It's meant to sound like it's a Nazi rally or something.
	Any German speech.
	And if you translate it, it's a recipe for a cupcake.
	That's how threatening the German language can sound.
	Have you seen an imam giving a speech in German?
	It's terrifying.
	It's really, it's really terrifying.
	But anyway, so I translated this on my computer because I think Disclosed.tv shared this out on Twitter and translated it, so I went through the article.
	Oh hang on, hang on.
	Gaza, Flüchtling, Sollen nach Deutschland.
	Right, so Gaza, Germany.
	Clearly all the Germans are moving to Gaza.
	Obviously.
	Close, actually.
	Close, but translated to English, it reads, authorities sound the terror alarm.
	Gaza refugees should go to Germany.
	Thanks, Build.
	Well, I don't know if that's an accurate translation, if it's, are coming to Germany, because what it says here, in the article, is that Bill has learned from the Foreign Minister, Anna-Lena Baerbock, from the Green Party, from the Foreign Office, that we have so far been able to ensure that around 320 Germans, including their family members, have been able to leave Gaza safely.
	So, these are Germans, who happened to be in Gaza.
	A lot of people are Germans, to be honest.
	Because of course, in today's idea of nationhood, to be German, I need a passport that says I am!
	Yes.
	Like Hamza Youssef's Celtic family who were trapped out in Gaza.
	Yes.
	People who are administratively German, as Zamor put it recently.
	Yes, that's a very good term for it.
	So, when they were originally asked, the Foreign Office said that they didn't want to provide any information about any of these refugees, including family members, and whether they were German citizens or not.
	Average Germans in Gaza.
	I don't know what you're asking questions for.
	They reported this originally as a bunch of people from Gaza were coming over to Germany, and then once that news had got out, the Foreign Office felt the need to clarify.
	Don't worry, they've already got German passports.
	So it's fine, bro.
	And a lot of people have been saying, well, it's only the German citizens, so it'll only end there.
	But it never does end there, because at the end of the day, there are Palestinians who are going to be kicked out of Gaza, by Israel, and they're going to have to go somewhere.
	They're going to have to go somewhere.
	And Egypt doesn't want them.
	Well, none of them do.
	Neither does Jordan, because President Abdel Fattah el-Sisi said that an attempt to push...
	They're not like us.
	Yeah, basically.
	Said an attempt to push civilian inhabitants to migrate to Egypt, and he said this would wreck peace in the region.
	He doesn't want them because he doesn't want them sticking around.
	Jordan, who I believe have taken Palestinian refugees in the past, they took them after the Nakba, I think they took about 300,000, said no refugees in Jordan, no refugees in Egypt.
	That's a pretty definitive statement.
	I love my zeros.
	Yeah, maybe.
	El-Sisi also said a mass exodus would risk bringing militants into Egypt's Sinai Peninsula.
	Sinai, sorry.
	Yeah, no, no.
	But that's interesting, isn't it?
	We can't take them.
	They're going to bring militants and they'll be dangerous.
	Europe should take them.
	From where they might launch attacks on Israel, which could threaten peace between the two nations, of course.
	Because that's how it always goes.
	If they launch attacks on Manchester, there's no war in the Middle East.
	And no consequences, so it's fine.
	And the European Commission and other people in European politics have been saying, no guys, seriously, take them in.
	Please take them in.
	And people on Politico have been reporting, if you want to beat Hamas quickly, you guys really need to take them.
	Well, I mean, political Arab neighbours should admit gardens.
	That seems reasonable.
	That's reasonable.
	You're Arabs, you're Muslims, you've lived in the same area for a long time.
	In response to this kind of pressure, though, they've said, well, why don't you take them if you care about human rights so much then?
	They've kind of got us there.
	Yeah, I mean, that's a fair point, but it's very clear that there is a big conflict that these people are going to have to go somewhere because Israel's apparently not going to stop.
	Yeah, pretty certain on the matter.
	So where are they going to go?
	Egypt doesn't want to take them.
	We maybe don't want to take them for now.
	Our governments maybe don't want to take them.
	For the next few weeks or so before they start opening the borders.
	But I want the distinction there.
	We, and then our governments, have very different opinions on what should happen to people from Gaza.
	And very different opinions on how it should be administered if it does happen, because remember, and I pointed this out on Twitter, if they do end up coming over here, while they're in Gaza, they're all terrorist collaborators.
	That's why Israel has to pound them with missiles constantly.
	They're human shields.
	Did you see the videos of the entire crowds of people coming out to cheer that they murdered IDF agents?
	Every single one of these people is complicit.
	Second they cross over a European border, though, innocent angel.
	I just want to say, I'm in favor of a ceasefire.
	So am I. Because inevitably, if a conflict erupts in the Middle East, it becomes our problem when all of the people who get expelled end up here.
	And then, all of a sudden, a few weeks ago, I think it was about a week ago now, this This article appears on the Wall Street Journal.
	The West should welcome Gaza refugees by Danny Dannon and Ram Ben Barak.
	And I want you to keep a hold of that name, of those names in your mind, because they are very relevant as we go on.
	But I'll read a few excerpts from this article because it is naked how much they're just saying, yeah, they're your problem.
	Can I just be like, well, I'm concerned about the safety of Jews in the West.
	Not yet.
	Last month, the UN General Assembly adopted a resolution calling for an immediate, durable and sustained humanitarian truce and demanded that all parties allow the continuous, sufficient and unhindered provision of essential supplies and services into the Gaza Strip.
	As the war continues, however, UN resolutions are doing nothing tangible to help Gaza's residents.
	Are you telling me the UN... I can't believe it!
	...said something that turned out to be useless?
	Oh my god.
	It's imperative that the international community explore potential solutions to help civilians caught in the crisis.
	Because, of course, we're the international community.
	Yeah, the international community is literally Europe, North America and Japan.
	One idea is for countries around the world, whose idea this is?
	Up to anyone's guess.
	Angola?
	Countries around the world?
	Democratic Republic of Congo, possibly Rwanda.
	Yeah, it was Rwanda's idea.
	Yeah, let's go with that.
	It was Rwanda suggested that countries around the world accept limited numbers of Gazan families.
	Limited.
	1.1 to 1.2 million, but limited.
	So one year's worth of immigration into Britain.
	Yep, yep.
	Gazan families who have expressed the desire to relocate, which isn't that many of them.
	Anyway, sorry, but you've invaded all of the Northern Strip and for some reason they now have a desire to relocate, you should take them.
	Cause and effect cannot answer these questions.
	Europe has a long history of assisting refugees fleeing conflicts.
	The wars in the former Yugoslavia displaced millions, most of them from Bosnia and Herzegovina.
	Germany, Austria, and Sweden accepted large numbers.
	When the Kosovo War erupted, hundreds of thousands of Kosovar Albanians fled to the neighboring Albania in the country now called North Macedonia.
	Germany, the UK, and the US also accepted refugees.
	European countries, including Germany, Sweden and France, have provided refuge to Syrians since the civil war started in 2011.
	It's just this list of failure, failure after failure, bad decision after bad decision.
	Hey, you drank a little bit of this poison, why don't you take some more?
	Between 2015 and 2016, Germany alone admitted more than 1.2 million refugees and asylum seekers, about a quarter of whom were Syrian.
	And that turned out to be such a fantastic idea, didn't it?
	And also, note, limited, limited numbers, and all of the examples given are in the millions every time.
	So limited means nothing in that previous sentence.
	I mean, I guess there's always the argument, well, they are actually refugees.
	Unlike many of the people who are claiming to be refugees, like they would actually be refugees.
	And experience has shown that if you're a refugee then there's no chance at all that you could do anything bad.
	I'm in no way saying anything of the sort.
	Tens of thousands of ISIS members who are feeling the collapse of their state were also refugees from Iraq and Syria clamping down on them.
	And then they call Manchester.
	Fantastic.
	Looking to these examples, because we're all looking at them going, those are fantastic ideas.
	Wasn't the Manchester bomber a refugee?
	The London Bridge attack?
	An Islamist who was trying to kill Gaddafi.
	Yeah, the Liverpool hospital bomber was a refugee.
	But it's our moral imperative to take these people in Why?
	Because people in the international community says that it is.
	And the Arabs won't do it because they're dangerous.
	Yeah, the Arabs are going like, you want us to take those people in?
	They could be terrorists!
	Countries around the world should offer a haven for Gaza residents who seek relocation.
	Countries can accomplish this by creating well-structured and internationally coordinated relocation programs.
	Members of the international community can collaborate to provide one-time financial support packages to Gazans.
	So take them in and then give them your money.
	I'm getting more pro-ceasefire the longer you continue this.
	It's always one solution isn't it?
	You take them into your home and then you give them all of your things and then if you're lucky they don't kill you.
	Fantastic.
	They're interested in moving to help blah blah blah.
	Global organizations with experience settling refugees.
	Global organizations meaning NGOs that nobody voted for who have an outsized amount of power and money that comes from anonymous and private donors who don't have the interests of the West in mind.
	That's what that always means.
	Settling refugees should facilitate the relocation of Gaza residents who wish to move to countries willing to accept them.
	We simply need a handful of the world's nations to share the responsibility of hosting Gazan residents, even if the country's took in as few as 10,000 people each.
	It would help alleviate the crisis.
	Who's we?
	We just need that.
	You and I, of Wall Street Journal, Danny Dannen and Remben Barak.
	Yeah, we, the pair of us.
	There's the two of them.
	But okay, so this article comes out, it's an absolute hellfire.
	Who can believe that something like this got released?
	But at least, thank God, it's only two random guys writing this for the Wall Street Journal.
	But then you go to Israeli news outlets and you find out that these two random guys are members of the Nesset.
	What's that?
	Vanessa is the parliament.
	Oh, the parliament of Israel, right.
	They are government ministers.
	Oh, right, okay.
	In Israel.
	So two Israeli lawmakers, one from the Rubin-Likud party, and the other from the opposition, Yesh Atid party.
	Right, so it's a bipartisan Israeli government attempt, so the we, has suddenly got a little bit bigger.
	Yep, they even say here, in a rare display of cross-party solidarity, Danny Dannon from Linekerd and Ramben Barak published an op-ed piece for the Wall Street Journal on Tuesday.
	And this is even worse, actually, because I did a little bit more digging into these two figures, and Dannon was the former ambassador to the UN, and Ben Barak is the former deputy director of Mossad.
	So these aren't just two random ministers, these are people who are pretty high-ranking.
	However, the call was likely to spark international criticism and amid repeated allegations from Palestinians and Arab countries that Israel was ultimately looking to expel Palestinians from Gaza.
	Because if two high-ranking members of the Nasser are saying, you guys need to take them, it's a pretty good indication that you're not going to do anything to stop what's going on at the moment.
	But once again, it's only two guys.
	Amazing, isn't it?
	Bypass and cross-party support from two high-ranking members.
	But it's still only two guys.
	But then actually, the Israeli financial minister also came out in support of this.
	A man, Bezalel Smotrik, who is currently in charge of the entirety of the settlement projects going on in the West Bank and has a lot of overriding power over there.
	So we can assume that if Israel at some point decides that they want to militarily occupy and expel all of the Palestinians in the West Bank as well, that this is going to be the solution.
	He said, I welcome the initiative of voluntary relocation of Gazan Arabs to countries worldwide.
	This is the right humanitarian solution.
	That's right.
	The guy's occupying the West Bank.
	He's not wrong.
	From Israel's position, yeah, no, this is the right humanitarian position.
	I don't know.
	There's someone else's problem.
	Maybe we could send them to the only liberal democracy in the Middle East.
	The one that truly cares about human rights in the Middle East.
	The only nation.
	That is why we send them so much money every year.
	Yeah, maybe they could take them instead.
	I don't know what country that is, but we'll find out.
	Yes.
	It's the right humanitarian solution for the residents of Gaza and the whole area after 75 years of being poor refugees.
	Who made them?
	Poor... Okay.
	The majority of Gaza is fourth and fifth generations to 1948 refugees who instead of being rehabilitated long ago like millions of refugees around the world were held hostage in Gaza in poverty and over... By who?
	It's incredible.
	It's incredible, isn't it?
	By nefarious abstract forces, I can assume.
	The international community, I can assume.
	Yeah, so he comes out in support of it.
	And then you go, OK, well, yeah, Israel has a lot of influence over in the West and high ranking members of Vanessa and also a financial minister who's got direct links and ties to Netanyahu, probably got his ear on this.
	And they're all in agreement, say they need to go over to Europe, but at least Our leaders!
	Our leaders!
	Well, no, you've got people in... Of course our leaders like this, of course.
	Well, the House of Lords has Labour peer Alf Dubs, who is a former child refugee who we took in from Prague when he was fleeing the Nazis, has decided that the kind of The kind of charity that we gave him needs to be open to the entirety of the world.
	Because this is the man who was also behind the Dubs Amendment in 2016, I think it was, which basically opened up routes for children to come over here and act as anchors for the rest of their family to come over here as refugees as well.
	He has said that we need to open up a resettlement scheme for Palestinians with family connections to Britain and those in need of medical aid.
	Good thing we don't have like a housing crisis, right?
	Yeah.
	So, where will all those Palestinians go?
	I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but all signs point westwards.
	Not happy about this.
	Our greatest ally.
	Yep, indeed.
	But we shall move on to another conflict, a deep and meaningful conflict.
	The Ego War.
	The Ego War has sparked yet again, and I think it's time we had a chat, boys, about the devastating consequences for all of mankind.
	War never changes.
	Except for now, when it does change.
	Yeah, so I'll start this story with a history, shall we, of e-girls.
	So you may remember Belle Delphine.
	I think she's probably the biggest catalyst for a lot of women noticing there's a lot of money in this.
	And we're not talking about OnlyFans and whatnot, it's a whole other sub-genre.
	We're talking about being cutesy on the internet.
	Pre-porn star phase for her.
	And selling things that your body has come into contact with for exorbitant prices.
	Well, not necessarily, but that is what she did.
	She sold bathwater.
	As you can see, who is paying $30 for the Game of Girl bathwater?
	Writes the Guardian.
	Which, you know, was a thing.
	I did... That is a good question, actually.
	Who is buying that?
	I don't know, but to be honest with you, I kind of respect the hustle.
	Well, that's... I respect more.
	Don't encourage that.
	I'm not trying to, but, like, I actually don't mind Belle Delphine.
	She seems to have a sense of humor.
	And, like, this is funny.
	Well, I respect even more the Daily Mail's position on this story at the time, which is, they don't write it here because they changed the headline, but you can see up there that British gamer girl influencer sells her bathwater for £24.
	She is the one fighting the credit crunch boys.
	Finally, the spirit of empire returns.
	They translate it to pounds and they're like, £24 a pot.
	They're selling it to their grandparents or something.
	Anyway.
	And, well, what happened?
	You may remember, of course, YouTubers flooded to give it a taste.
	You can see there, Pyrocynical, who gave it a lick.
	Okay.
	I hope the views were worth it.
	Yeah.
	There's also this dude who decided to vape it.
	Okay.
	He vaped the bathwater.
	I don't think, I think he wasn't that keen on it.
	But either way, that as a thing, to be honest, as a cultural effect?
	Yeah.
	Not terrible.
	Yeah, it's funny.
	It's a laugh.
	It's harmless, you know.
	Yeah, I kind of like the whole cutesy aesthetic as well as a cultural backlash towards the destruction of female aesthetics.
	Yeah.
	At least the attempt of it.
	Yeah, just trying to make yourself look pretty, you know.
	I kind of like the whole aspect of women being like, hey, you know what gets the boys?
	It being feminine.
	So yeah, that does that does work.
	Attractive women win men over.
	So I just, you know, it's kind of simping, if nothing else.
	No, I'm just saying women should wear feminine clothes.
	Better than the alternative.
	That's one thing.
	I mean, there's a male version, obviously, which is the liver king, which I don't know what the hell he's doing.
	I don't know if you've seen this.
	This is him eating raw chicken and milk.
	He looks like he's about to explode.
	Yeah.
	Like, unironically, he looks like he's about to explode.
	Such a horrible video.
	I don't think the Liver King ever appealed to women.
	Why did he appeal to men?
	I don't know, but I do enjoy watching whatever this is.
	So, he's living his life.
	It's not a male version, is what we're getting at there.
	Is he eating raw chicken?
	Yeah, he's eating raw chicken in this one, which don't do.
	No wonder he looks so ill.
	Don't eat raw chicken, YouTube.
	Please don't delete this video for breaking terms of service.
	No, not recommended.
	Yeah, but that's one thing, right?
	The e-girl genre of I'm gonna be cutesy and that gets male attention and maybe you could monetize it in some way, whatever, right?
	Yeah.
	Not for the liver king.
	Can we get off this video?
	Can we get off screen, please?
	But then you get like the entitled bitches.
	Oh, I remember this one.
	You may remember this lady.
	We're going to play a little bit of it, just to remind everyone.
	Maybe $10.
	And it doesn't matter how broke you are, if you have time to watch Twitch, you have $10.
	Truly.
	If you don't have $10, you probably don't have time to watch Twitch because you should be working.
	You should be trying to earn money.
	It's not a ton.
	It's not like a ton of money.
	So being like, I'm broke, I can't afford to sub, that doesn't really track.
	What you mean to say is, I'm so irresponsible with my money, I can't support the entertainment that I enjoy.
	I think she's making a good point.
	You should go sign up to our website.
	Yeah, of course you'd say that.
	Well, I think there's a difference between signing up to the website which provides, you know, good videos and, uh, pay me $5 for the benefit of watching me sit here.
	If you're watching my Twitch stream and you've not subbed, you should be out working to get that $10 to sign up to my Twitch stream.
	Simple as.
	You're only entitled to do this on your Twitch stream, Carl.
	If you wear the outfit.
	You've gotta wear... I could wear the outfit.
	You've gotta wear the knee socks.
	When I'm playing Rome?
	I'm going to hold you to that.
	If this worked on anyone, that person has a humiliation king.
	What is going on?
	This blew up a while back.
	You better remember, there was quite a streak of random whores who were completely incapable of production.
	They couldn't make videos, never mind anything else.
	And they sit there and they leech off the general role of provide for men.
	And this woman couldn't even afford a hot tub by the looks of it.
	Shameful.
	She could probably afford a hot tub now.
	This was like in 2020, wasn't it?
	But it's not, she's not the only one.
	I don't have a timeline.
	Well look, I can see it, like, so three years later, then, you know, she's probably made enough money, she's probably in the hot tub, I mean, has anyone checked back on her?
	Well, let us know in the comments, um, has this random whore become a millionaire?
	Well, checking on another individual, because you may remember at the time, Pokimane.
	Oh, yeah.
	A Twitch streamer.
	She decided to come out.
	Gundam's future ex-wife.
	Responded to this video with quite a nice statement, to be honest, which is if $5 isn't a relevant amount of money, then she shouldn't need the $5.
	Oh, that's great.
	Good point.
	If she argues it adds up with multiple people giving five dollars though, then she should realize that it works the same way when it comes to spending.
	That's very, very forward-thinking.
	Yeah, get these SE takes off my timeline and my streaming platform, she writes here.
	And she got a lot of likes for this.
	People are like, finally!
	A nice... An ego who gives a reasonable opinion.
	Yeah, nice eagle who doesn't pretend that money doesn't matter for how long.
	Well, you know, it's a miracle.
	About three years.
	Can we appreciate the miracle here?
	No.
	This was a temporary miracle.
	I like that she's basically flanking all of the other eagles from the right here, right?
	I mean she's worth 25 million I found out.
	Oh is she?
	So to see someone in 2020 you know be able to understand that money costs things and it's not worthless.
	I mean this is a problem with with women in general when it comes to that female role where especially when it's toxic femininity it's exploited that you need to give me money because you're a man and to be a man you need to provide therefore give me money please like that's not that's not good that's toxic femininity.
	Yeah, yeah, it's understandable if you're in a relationship and, you know, she's a housewife.
	Fine.
	If she's some random e-girl who doesn't know who you are, don't give them money.
	But anyway, nice, you know, a bit of a miracle.
	They're not your girlfriend!
	Miracle of an Eagle over here, appreciating $5 as money, and it's good to be wise.
	She's now selling snacks, so this is... Hang on, that's fine.
	Selling a product is fine.
	Could be.
	There's nothing wrong with that.
	Could be, yeah.
	The bath water, it's a product.
	I don't want it, but like, okay, if Vito needs to buy it...
	So this is the drama, because there's a bit of drama alert now.
	I'm terribly sorry, but I must bring it to you.
	So this is her website, where she's released some cookies, and she's hanging out with the cookies, and you know, how much money she spent on this website, God knows.
	Ah, cookies have vitamin D in them, do they?
	Yes, they are vitamin D cookies.
	Look how good they are, look at them.
	Isn't that desirable?
	They look like crap.
	They do look terrible, but to be fair, it's coming into winter.
	We probably do need vitamin D. But you can see here as well, the price.
	You can get that with a multivitamin, though.
	Yeah, I do.
	Same.
	Michael makes me.
	Also, those do look like deformed Oreos.
	Yeah, they're disgusting.
	You could just not live in England as well.
	There are a lot of people who live with sunshine.
	I don't want to do that.
	Anyway, there's plenty of sunshine during the sunshiny months.
	Or one of them.
	God's appropriate allotment of sunshine to the English, thank you.
	She's selling her cookies.
	They're $7 a bag.
	It's not a great idea in my mind.
	They look a bit like crap.
	I've seen the reviews.
	Most people describe them as Oreos without the filling.
	Okay.
	So it's by Oreos, 60p a pack or whatever.
	I do want to mention as well, just in here real quick, the Snack Lab feature because I just can't get over it.
	So you randomize and you get your own snacks and I just can't get over how, of course, because it's American.
	Do they make them to order?
	No, no.
	It's just a good fun thing.
	Oh, is it?
	Wait, is that cheese?
	Yeah, that's the thing I want to show you because of course they're Americans.
	Cheese on what?
	Your biscuits.
	You want cheese on your cookie design?
	Why wouldn't you?
	I mean, you can add the cheese to anything.
	You didn't add the cheese, then.
	There we go.
	I'm no longer taking criticism.
	That's gone super soon.
	Look at this.
	Oh, what?
	I can't.
	We had herbs.
	There we are.
	Doesn't that sound good?
	Sea salt, herbs, sprinkles, cheese.
	That sounds repulsive!
	Oh, no!
	Yeah, you can't have chocolate and cheese.
	That would be gross.
	Whereas we have chocolate chips and cheese, which is... Yeah, whatever.
	It's just a side.
	When you submit your snack, where does it go?
	It's just a fun thing for you showing off on the internet.
	So if I want cheese and frosting, that's not allowed.
	I thought this was America, goddammit.
	And okay, you know, percumane amongst... Yeah, I mean, again, I'm not actually very critical of this.
	Okay, it's enterprising, fine.
	You're selling a product, fine.
	There's nothing wrong with that at all.
	She spent a billion dollars on a website to sell bad cookies.
	So was she like embellishing money with this embezzling, I should say?
	Well, the drama came about because people discovered something, which is... These aren't real cookies at all?
	Well, no, it's not a copyrighted thing, these midnight cookies over here.
	It's sort of like chocolate chip.
	It's a style of cookie.
	Right, right, right.
	So people discovered there was this version that's being sold for like a buck, and then there's hers, the same packet.
	This seems to be exactly the same, probably done by the same company.
	Wait a second.
	Same number of calories, same number of cookies, the same number of fats, the same number of saturated fats, same number of cholesterol, same number of sodium.
	Same number of added sugars.
	Yeah.
	Right, so it's exactly the same cookie.
	Well, if you place spot the difference for long enough, and people did, they found that there is vitamin D in her cookies and not in the store-bought ones, because of a one-ingredient difference.
	Also, they seemed to have different amounts of servings, but that might have been a typo.
	Here's the ingredient list as well, which is exactly the same, except right at the end it's cut off, unfortunately, on this image, where they say they added mushroom powder to her ones.
	We added magic mushrooms to ours.
	No, it's literally... That would be the selling point.
	But for that slight increase in vitamin D, you pay seven times the price.
	Yeah, yeah, sure.
	But, like, these are probably made in the same factory by the same company and just rebranded under their own name.
	Almost certainly.
	Don't buy, like, you know, the branded versions of, like, antihistamines or anything, because they're made in literally the same factory and just put in different boxes.
	Yeah, it's a pretty standard tale of influencer creates product.
	Most of the price is actually the branding, not the product itself.
	You're paying for the luxury and the... Dr. Dre beats.
	Yeah.
	We could sit here and there are endless amounts of celebrities who sell branded things.
	I tried some of that Prime.
	The other day, you've heard of this, right?
	Logan Paul's Prime.
	Was it while you were watching I'm a Celebrity with Naomi Maxxing?
	No, my wife took my kids to the shops and they came back and my son was like, oh, I've got Prime!
	It's like, okay, I'll try some.
	It was disgusting, actually.
	The thing is, it was too sweet, but it also wasn't sugar.
	And so it had this kind of hollow, cyberpunk, dystopian taste to it.
	I don't know how else to describe it.
	Like, literally, this is synthesized and has been provided to you so you don't get to eat a real thing anymore.
	It was gross.
	This isn't a man's energy drink.
	It's not even a man's energy drink, it's just, this isn't real.
	It's like a hologram, you know?
	I do want to see some normie maxing.
	If anyone can, just tag us and send video comments.
	I'd like to do a competition for who can normie max the most.
	I don't know what we can give away, but we'll find some crap in the office and send it out.
	Last year's DVD collection of I'm a Celebrity, I assume.
	Yeah, we'll do an XFM.
	Just send some stuff we've got.
	If you win, we'll give you a trip to Love Island.
	But anyway, point being, you know, kind of boring, just, you know, some cookies were sold, and it was stupid, and that should have ended.
	I mean, one of the products that this reminds me of in Britain is Zoella.
	You remember Zoella?
	She's a beauty person on YouTube, massive, and she decided to release an advent calendar, you can see on the left here, for 50 British pounds, and it contains things like a pen.
	For the 12 days of Christmas.
	Horrifically expensive for the product.
	It is just not worth it.
	And there's a Poundland version here with better products for much less.
	That's £13, that's false advertising.
	What do you mean?
	Poundland.
	Things cost £1.
	You've not been to a Poundland recently.
	Nothing costs a bloody pound anymore.
	It's something that's rounded to a pound.
	I try not to go into shops.
	Good luck.
	Also, there are 13 products there, Carl, so... I don't know when you finished school, but... Oh, I didn't count the number of products!
	He said 12 days of Christmas, so it should just be 12.
	5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12... Oh, there are 13, there we are.
	I can count, too.
	Anyway, back to the story.
	Back to the story.
	Anyway, point being, Zoella made a crappy product.
	She's got a lot of backlash.
	There were a lot of people saying, look, you literally exploited your audience of teenage girls to beg their mums into buying your piece of crap.
	And yeah, nothing new.
	Bad.
	Typical festive tradition.
	But the thing that came out of this that was sad is that Pokimane did this.
	She responded to the criticism of your product's crap with literally the ego response.
	When people are like, oh my God, $28 for cookies?
	It's four bags.
	That's seven.
	Seven dollars a bag.
	I know!
	I know math is hard!
	When you're an idiot!
	But!
	If you're a broke boy, just say so!
	Yeah, damn right I'm a broke boy.
	Have you seen this bloody economy?
	Have you looked at inflation, the petrol prices, the house prices?
	Also, if you only sell them in packs of four packs at $7 each, then there's no way of me buying an individual one for $7, and it is $28.
	But I just want to say that $7, which is like six quid, for a pack of biscuits... But for a pack of... That's really expensive!
	Oreos missing the cream.
	Yeah.
	Just any biscuits.
	I mean, Jesus, they're gold-plated.
	Rubbish Oreos with extra mushroom.
	That is expensive.
	And I am broke.
	So, you know.
	Keenestar here posting, talk about a touch millionaire, which is correct.
	She, in three years, became the meme.
	And the defence of her position has been, you hate women.
	from uh normie world of of streamer people there we are the immense hatred towards women on the internet is hun hinge yes thank you for that input nadia yeah thank thank you very much um and then a lot of people noticed yeah she became the if you're a broke boy just give us the five bucks it's only five bucks and that's what she became which it's not only five bucks it's 28 bucks Which sparked a bit of like an eagle fight between who's the worst eagle, and as you can see people commenting their worst eagles, and this is the fight club that has taken out.
	But it's a lovely story, I think, about toxic femininity, and that's kind of interesting, the fact that if you have toxic femininity, you have no appreciation for the work it takes to actually make money, and a hatred of men who have that appreciation, and angry when you don't just get things for free.
	But the real story for me, the real eagle race, is the YouTuber eagles.
	Do you know who they are?
	No.
	The typical suspects?
	No.
	The ones who really should just put really pretty little bows in their hair at this point, because that's all they're worth?
	Jim Sterling?
	Uh, not quite, no.
	Let's not watch that video.
	Let's leave his pregnancy out of this one.
	I just want to say congratulations, Jim.
	As a father, I'm so proud of you.
	Also, Yahtzee, if there is a gun to your head right now, blink twice.
	We're very sorry for what's happened to that channel.
	But getting back to the YouTube at you girls, it's the reaction channels.
	Oh.
	And we don't mean kids react to or a guy who sits there staring.
	It's of course the multi-million subscriber reaction channels.
	The true ones.
	Really?
	So as you can see here, Moist Critical got a bit of shtick because he did a 10 minute reaction to the situation and this person being upset.
	Why would you call yourself Moist anything?
	Well, it's just a fun name back in the day.
	I like Moist Critical.
	I've no idea who he is.
	Moist is not one of those words.
	Well, he would just do like little reactions to events and it's like, okay, cool.
	I think this criticism is actually pretty dumb.
	10 minutes reaction to this thing?
	I don't care.
	Maybe I want to know about it.
	That's fine.
	That's not that bad.
	He can get away with a couple of, uh, you know, his little clips that girls put in their hair.
	He doesn't need the full bow outfit yet.
	But there are some people who did take the piss such as, well, Ethan Klein.
	50 f*ing minutes talking about the f*ing cookie controversy!
	Yeah but he's got like five advertisers he needs to fit into those 50 minutes.
	I can't do a 10 minute video and get five advertisers in it.
	I suppose so.
	The views are also just crap.
	I mean you can see here this is someone clipping after three hours he's got what 5,000 views on his channel there of several millions.
	Yeah he's got like three million subscribers.
	Yeah this is his highlights channel to be fair but even then it's pathetic.
	I checked it before we started he's now 20,000 views.
	Oh wow.
	On a 50 minute video.
	Just not worth it.
	I find this content cancer.
	I mean, you guys really are the e-girls of the YouTube world when you sit around for a friggin' hour talking about the cookies.
	It's not fun.
	Are we, James?
	I was about to say, are we talking about the cookies now?
	No, I was talking about the e-girl phenomenon, how I think there are some positives to it, and then there is some stupid drama about it.
	But then the YouTube world is really my obsession of like, what are you doing with your lives, bros?
	And it's not just Ethan.
	To be fair though, Ethan's been in a pretty bad place recently.
	He has, but he is not- Getting more sympathetic towards- In fact, the left is trying to wrap his head around economics, I can understand it taking him an hour.
	Yeah, how has she got a profitable business?
	Bro, 50 minutes is quite short, it turns out.
	Because of course, the champion, the Hamas lover of the world, Ethan- Oh!
	Sorry, no, Ethan's friend.
	Hassan.
	Oh yeah, he's Ethan's friend, that's a- One minute ten.
	Bit of an anachronistic term we're gonna use for Mr. Piker.
	Reacting to Pokimane's situation is horrible.
	Look at the state of him as well!
	This is more the story for me, because it's like, okay, you know, bad product from influencer.
	Have you seen female YouTube?
	The whole thing is cancer.
	Just look, is that really the picture of Hassan you're going to use for the thumbnail?
	Apparently, for his own team.
	He looks like he's about to fall asleep watching his own video.
	I do love as well, because all of these people, there's like proper teams behind them.
	Yeah.
	And it's like this apparatus, you can see there's like a studio and there's an office and there's content and a website and whatnot, so that's going to take some human beings.
	But like, Pokimane has six people behind her, I found on LinkedIn.
	Really?
	I don't know how many Hassan has, but all these people are multi-millionaires, so of course they've hired a bunch of people to make their content.
	But then you look at their content, and it's streaming?
	Asad looks like a homeless man.
	How many people does that really take?
	Hey, I heard that looks in chic right now, okay?
	Well, there's, you know, one minute ten.
	Just look like you're awake.
	I don't have a billion years to watch all of the one-hour reactions to a cookie controversy, so I checked Twitter.
	Apparently his position is he's pro-cookie.
	It's not a rip-off.
	He says it's not irrelevant.
	He misses the conversation entirely, but his solution, his response to it, is actually $7 for cookies is a good price.
	He is also a multi-millionaire, so maybe Maybe he's also out of touch.
	I love that he's literally making the capitalist argument here.
	Yeah.
	Like it's a higher quality, it's a luxury item, prestige item you're buying to buy into like the cult of the thing.
	And therefore you're happy to pay more.
	That's just literally what Milton Friedman would have said.
	But it's so revealing that he's a millionaire and, you know, never checks what's in any of the products, doesn't really know, probably doesn't do any shopping ever.
	It probably just sits there streaming 24-7.
	Because you can see him say here that he thinks $7 is a good price because there's palm oil in them.
	What?
	That precious material.
	Palm oil.
	It did have to be shipped from somewhere.
	No, I don't know.
	It's nonsense.
	It's nonsense.
	So if we're left just to sit here and be like, yeah, palm oil is good as well.
	He doesn't even know about the palm oil controversy.
	The fact that it's destroying the rainforest and everything else.
	Yeah, he doesn't care about it.
	He doesn't know anything.
	Whatever.
	He comes out as pro-capitalist here.
	He also had to do a 50 minute video, sorry, 55 reacting to Moist Critical.
	So there we are.
	No, after you've done an hour and 10 minutes, why not another 50?
	You've really sold me on Moist Critical doing 10 minutes, that's quite compact.
	You know, I can watch that if I'm doing the dishes or something.
	That's fair.
	I like drama sometimes, don't get me wrong.
	The Twitch economy really does seem to be Twitch streamers not sat on their stream doing something else, the camera's on an empty chair, and somebody else reacting to the footage of that empty chair, and then leaving so it's an empty chair reacting to an empty chair, and people who have far too much time and money watching and spamming money at it.
	To be honest, though, I'd rather watch that than Hassan's actual reaction or something.
	Would you pay money for that?
	No.
	There you go.
	But I mean, we talked about Hassan sometimes, and some people wonder, like, why are you giving him air to him?
	I was like, bro, he's way bigger than us.
	And that's the thing I find fascinating, because he's such not quality.
	Everything about him is low quality.
	I mean, the criticisms of him on politics are rock solid on this, which is that he'll read headline, pretend he's suddenly an expert in Argentina, Ukraine, or Israel, depending on the day of the week.
	And then we'll tell you exactly what has happened in this random town of Donbass, or, I don't know, this random hospital.
	Do you not remember the Piers Morgan interview?
	He's like, look, I'm just an idiot on the internet, but I do a better job than all of the media.
	It's like, Hassan, you don't do a better job than yourself on different days.
	You're atrocious.
	You're worse than the MSM.
	And whatever, that's why he had to do two hours on Crees and Moist Critical.
	And Moist actually did a response to Hassan doing a response to Critical.
	He was doing a response to the circular economy.
	All of these people are monetized, but we're not.
	Um, but one thing though, lads.
	Who do you think won?
	Who do you think the biggest ego of them all?
	Because even of those people... Does Belle Delphine win this, somehow?
	I don't think... Because like, she's been playing both sides, so she always comes out on top.
	Like, it's all of this weird, like, degenerative cycle.
	Who's financing Hassan, it was Belle Delphine.
	She's just sat in her bath selling water for Millions, probably.
	She's got half water, half cookies or something.
	Yeah, I don't know.
	She's like, ah, mix them, now I'll get my watered cookies.
	No, I'm giving an award for the longest reaction to a piece of drama, and the award goes to the biggest ego of YouTube, Destiny.
	Congratulations, my good friend!
	I don't mean to be too mean, but you did spend 1 hour and 19 minutes on a cookie drama, and well, you get the award for biggest girl in the neighbourhood, and I look forward to you wearing your bow.
	That would be quite a good meme, and also, I think, well-deserved.
	So there we are.
	But, if you would like to not buy cookies or anything else, you can of course sign up to our merch store, in which you can go and get some merch, or to the website with a 33% discount.
	You only get that on the cookie store, that's for sure.
	And it also gives you a discount on the merch.
	Well, if I'm gonna talk about shills, might as well do some shilling, shan't I?
	Because we're terrible, terrible eagles, that's why.
	Yeah.
	Have we got any bows in the office?
	Have we got any what?
	Bows.
	No.
	Callum, if you come onto the podcast wearing cat ears, I will storm out.
	Well, pay for our cat ears by signing up to the website and we'll be back soon.
	Let's go to the video comments.
	I do need an edit now of Belle Delphine being a shadowy figure puppeteering world politics.
	Hey, I can probably sort that out for you.
	Our story begins in the land of Swindonia, where the locals lived in peace and spoke in a common tongue.
	Until one day a horde of foreign invaders descended upon the land, entirely taking over the inn next door for themselves.
	Why does this sound familiar?
	What would you like to do?
	Grumble at them disapprovingly.
	They seem completely unfazed by your disapproval.
	Ask around to determine where the invaders might have come from.
	Roll a d20 for an investigation check.
	That's a 12.
	The locals say they came from the sea.
	The what?
	I mean that's a pretty good looking D&D game, I'm just saying.
	I don't know.
	I wasn't expecting this to be a multi-part series.
	But I'm appreciating it, I'm liking it.
	I do actually quite like this series.
	Please more.
	That's quite fun.
	Yeah, I...
	Alright, Ocarina of Time in Dallas.
	Fair enough.
	You're better than I am, Greg.
	I really thought he was going to play Hot Cross Buns then.
	See, I thought he was going to play Never Gonna Give You Up.
	Well, you've got your next video coming sorted, don't you?
	Yeah.
	Let's go to the next one.
	I was surprised to hear that Carl and the guys hadn't heard about the Redwell book series, especially because it came from England.
	It's a bit like The Hobbit in general tone and scope, although instead of people, it's anthropomorphic animal folk.
	And no, it's not furry adjacent at all.
	The guy that wrote this is basically like a jollier version of Tolkien.
	There's an audiobook on YouTube that you can check out to get a sense of it.
	If not, though, talk to RazörFist.
	He'll explain it to you pretty well, because he loves this series.
	And I'll do a follow-up later on on this, because there's a lot to expand on this, about why Brian Cox is one of the best authors.
	Okay.
	Sounds interesting.
	I've never heard of it.
	And if it's about anthropomorphic animals, it might be a good kid's series, maybe.
	Yeah.
	Joshua says, can anyone explain what a dino is?
	Should we play the Dino in a song?
	Not at the moment, but the Dino is a kind of class of person who was formed by the early 2000 consensus, who lives uncritically within the world in which we live and enjoys uncritically the media that is produced by the mainstream in such a world, which I think is a fair summary.
	I feel like the video would do a much better job explaining it.
	We should do a segment.
	It comes from the fact that in Britain, we have a kind of lad culture that goes out and you have shots and watch the footy and you're a normie, right?
	But some of the men...
	Come over and play FIFA, lads.
	Yeah, of course, you'll have like, not cutesy names, but lad names for each other.
	So there's a man named Dean, and everyone calls him Dino.
	And this is a very common, like, nickname for Dean, who is part of the lads.
	And these people and the lads and their wives are incredibly dull.
	They will have live, laugh, love in their barrack homes.
	They have on finance their grey Audi they will have on finance to show off.
	And then all of their holidays will be to Tenerife, Shagaloof, or such places for no spiritual gain, no knowledge gain, because such things are cringe in itself.
	The Dino exists until he stops existing and then no one remembers his passing, right?
	Anyway... Did we mention that his entire life is based off of financial credit?
	Yeah, that was mentioned.
	JJHW says, in the event of a zombie apocalypse, just go to the Winchester until the whole thing blows over.
	Omar says, Ant and Dec are just salty that Nigel can pull an audience on the content of his character while they are relegated entertaining gammons.
	Like Comic Sans, they are prevalent because they are safe, friendly, and largely uncontroversial except for being rather detestable.
	That's the thing, they're not even detestable.
	That's the thing.
	Nigel, new Roman, in bold leaves them in the dust.
	Yes, that is true.
	Geordie Salzman says, the only thing I remember hearing about I'm a Celeb was when a rat got into the camp.
	It's meant to be in a jungle.
	Ah, there's a rat in the camp.
	And one contestant who was a chef killed it, cooked it, and ate it.
	Fair.
	That sounds quite interesting.
	Who was that?
	The media went insane with condemnation because they seemingly have no idea where food comes from.
	Yeah, at one point there was a lobster in like a stream that goes by and the French show was like, let's get it.
	And then we're like, no.
	It's like, why?
	It's a lobster or a crayfish or something.
	Sam Weston says, with Ant and Dec decrying GB News constantly and Nigel Farage always being introduced as the devil, not only is it political propaganda, but it is also sensationalism designed to garner more viewers.
	Neither one's working, apparently.
	Lord Nerevar says, nice to see Big Nige making a good impression on I'm a Celeb, and also that he seems to be treated with respect, which I really wasn't expecting.
	This could work well as in the polls.
	Yeah, Farage is doing well.
	You know, he is doing genuinely well.
	Theo says, make sure you get a paid subscription to Let's Seize.com so you can support Kyle's PTSD therapy, which is absolutely true.
	I did feel like I should have been with a notepad taking notes while you were describing it all.
	Honestly, it...
	It was a trial to sit through it all.
	I'm not going to lie.
	I really felt like it was just spiritually deadening.
	You've become the right-wing version of an SJW who's like, I turned on ITV, I'm triggered.
	I turned on the BBC.
	No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
	I'm not angry.
	Not by the political message, by it being shit quality.
	No, no, no, no, no.
	I'm not angry.
	No, no.
	It's worse than that.
	It's on a much more soulful level.
	It's not tripping ideological tripwires, right?
	It's nothing like that.
	That wasn't my point.
	It's the fact that it's low quality is triggering.
	It's not even that it's low quality.
	I can't think of a good example.
	I think it stole part of his soul.
	Yeah, no, there is something about it that is like... It's making me more Ted Kaczynski, right?
	ITV has adverts.
	Billions must die.
	I just want to return to the woods and hunt game with a bow and, you know, just die at 35.
	You know what I mean?
	Like, I just want to return to nature.
	No car on finance.
	Yeah.
	No, it's just, I don't know how to describe it, but there's something, it's way worse than an SJW being triggered by transphobia or something.
	Did you see you can buy dominoes on finance?
	Yes.
	Welcome to modernity.
	Sorry, what?
	If you can't afford a pizza, you can buy it on finance?
	Carry on.
	The thing is though, isn't that just like, okay, I'm going to buy everything on finance until eventually the payback is like 300 years.
	And then it's no longer my problem.
	I'll leave my great, great, great, great, great grandchildren with a million pound bill for a pizza I bought one time.
	Is Dino going to have kids?
	Yeah, Dino's do have kids.
	Saddling his great grandchildren with like hundreds of pounds of pizza debt from 500 years ago.
	It wasn't supposed to be this way.
	Your grandfather, Dino, he needed the food.
	Dino the Third.
	Ordered 3,000 pizzas throughout his life.
	And then Dino the Fourth, another 5,000.
	Ramshackle also, who by the way, we did receive your chutneys and jams.
	We're going to, I assume they're going to eat them on Lads Out tomorrow.
	Says, I haven't had, thank you by the way, they look delicious.
	I haven't had a TV license since 2019, so rarely see broadcast TV.
	Same, I never see any of these things.
	I was at Mums the other night and watched an episode.
	Broadcast TV is so obviously state propaganda, it's painful.
	Ant and Dec are like a pair of husband-hating, block-bodied, post-menopause hags.
	Tell us how you really feel.
	Having spiteful conversations while they work at the tills in Tesco and ignore their customers.
	So totally true though.
	It's so totally true.
	Joe Schmo says, uh, when do we get a lounge hour of just watching television commercials?
	Uh, that's probably a good one, actually.
	No, it's not!
	Oh no, it probably is.
	It's probably gold, actually.
	Like, how many commercials do you really see?
	I think AA did a deepest lore doing that exact thing, so we'd just be copying it.
	Well, I haven't seen it, but like... No, it's just becoming a Twitch stream if we do that.
	What, do we just sit there watching other people's content, in this case being adverts?
	Yeah, but we will talk about the adverts as well.
	Gogglebox.
	Literally, it's Gogglebox.
	I think we all need it.
	Gogglebox for men.
	And people can live watch our seats and watch the adverts.
	Gogglebox for men is people with those little bows going ding, another one.
	JJHW says Faraz nearly died in a plane crash, so why would he be scared of anything?
	But he's also, he's too cool.
	He's too cool.
	Just dying, almost dying in a plane crash doesn't remove your disgust response.
	No, I mean one of the pizzas literally had spiders all over it.
	It's like, I wouldn't want to put that in my mouth.
	Like, dang right I wouldn't want the penis one in my mouth either.
	That's getting clipped.
	Yeah, I know, right?
	But at least I'm saying I don't want it.
	Callum has yet to say that.
	How many penises did that woman eat in the end?
	I think there were about four or five on the pizza.
	Different types.
	How many anuses did Nigel eat?
	Again, about four or five.
	But they've got a list of like camel-iness, cow-iness, stuff like that.
	It's like, okay.
	I mean... Uh, Ewan says, Calum endures the Labour conference, Carl endures I'm a celebrity.
	Yeah, yeah.
	You wanna swap?
	Which is the greater time investment?
	Well, Labour Conference is six hours.
	Amos Labs is probably going to be about that in total as well.
	Is it seriously?
	Yeah.
	Oh yeah, because there's multiple episodes, isn't there?
	Yeah, it's been about three and a half hours so far, I think.
	No, I'm safe actually.
	Deal or no deal, I'm not taking the deal.
	So you complain that Karl's been letting his spirit die over in the corner and making fun of him, but then when given the choice to swap, You haven't watched the whole thing, because it's not been filmed yet.
	It's not happened.
	It's been filmed, I imagine, but I don't think it's been released.
	They must be editing it that day or something, I don't know.
	Or the next day or whatever.
	That's the people I really feel sorry for when it comes to mainstream TV, especially reality.
	The editors!
	How awful must that be?
	Because you've got to watch utter just filth in the sense of it's boring and dumb.
	Try and make it interesting.
	I'm not terribly sympathetic because they chose that job and they're probably a bunch of Deaners being like, oh, this is brilliant, mate.
	This is brilliant.
	It's going to get those ratings up, mate.
	And they also choose to take... They're probably loving their job.
	They go to the pub.
	They arrive at Miller & Carter.
	How was your day, darling?
	My day was brilliant.
	You should have heard what Nigel said.
	We'll see you at 9 o'clock tonight, darling.
	Like, honestly, shut up.
	Don't have sympathy.
	They do also choose then to take that absolute drivel and then put the most obnoxious editing choices you've ever seen.
	Do they use that violin sting that's in every reality show?
	I have no idea.
	Oh, well, maybe.
	I don't know what I'm looking out for.
	My miss, my missus, she watches Kitchen Nightmare and all that rubbish and it shows up everywhere.
	That's beautiful.
	My wife watches Come Dine With Me, which isn't terrible because the narrator is at least a sarky twat.
	That's probably the most tolerable one.
	Yeah, no, it's actually not too bad.
	Anyway, Richard says, why should the West accept Gaza refugees?
	It's not patently obvious.
	We currently have problems that need addressing due to multiculturalism and open borders.
	Its neighbors will not give them respite.
	It's terribly convenient that it should be our problem solved.
	Smells like buck passing.
	Dude, it's worse than that.
	JJHW says, Western politicians will do Israel's bidding as long as the Epideme tapes are out there.
	I have heard some ideas about Ghislaine Maxwell and Epstein possibly being Mossad agents, but I don't know how true that is.
	And then he fell off the boat.
	Theodore says, if I'm understanding this right, is Israel essentially advocating for ethnically cleansing Gaza of Palestinian Arabs by framing it as European nations obviously mercifully taking in refugees displaced when Israel takes over?
	Yes.
	Exactly that.
	Andrew says, hilariously short-sighted.
	The West's support for Israel has been declining over the years due to policies that Israel is pushing with a solution to guards and refugees.
	It's like they don't want the support of the West, and they don't need to have it as far as I'm concerned.
	Sophie says, 75% of Jordan citizens are actually Palestinians.
	There's a difference between Jordanian, Palestinians, and Israeli ones.
	The ones that took him from Israel, they tried to murder their king and start a revolution, the same they did in Lebanon.
	No wonder Egypt's like, yeah, I don't think we want these chaps actually.
	I can't.
	Omar says, I think part of the reason Belle Delphine is so popular is that she's obviously in on the joke.
	Ego bathwater is a funny gag, gift, or showpiece.
	You'll always be perverse to take advantage of it, but it's not inherently all that sexual.
	I'm literally selling you a piece of crap.
	Yeah, yeah.
	The joke is, oh, look, it's my bathwater.
	Are you going to be funny and buy it?
	Her porn career is the same thing.
	There's um one of the videos she's got.
	Callum's done a lot of research.
	No because Belle Duffy is actually really funny.
	Oh yeah she seems to have a good sense of humor.
	So one of her porn videos is the setup is that it's someone who's a simp of hers jacking off to a picture of her and then she appears in like a Christmas box.
	Man you gotta know your audience don't you?
	Yeah, exactly.
	And then they have sex, but the guy having sex with her in the video obviously is just her boyfriend, his face covered.
	And then they have sex, and then it cuts to black, and it was all a dream for the simp, and the simp's life is pathetic and worthless.
	And that's the end of her porn video?
	Jesus Christ.
	It's just like, yeah, you guys have to pay for this, and you're useless.
	It's like, eh.
	That's rough.
	Yeah, that's what I mean.
	It's like, okay, yeah, she's... I think these people get off on humiliation.
	Well, undoubtedly.
	What can you do?
	But this thing, Beldarfine seems to have more brains and entertainment value.
	But that, I mean, Jesus.
	I can't imagine why anyone would watch Pokimane.
	Like, what are they getting out of it?
	She's just a cutie.
	But this is a problem until she starts humiliating you for being broke.
	Yeah.
	I mean, this is the problem with just men in general.
	I mean, I see Sophie mentioning that she was selling her bathwater.
	Some people in the chat might buy it.
	It's just like, no, this is a problem with men.
	The eagles are a response to men.
	Yeah, that's always been true.
	No, I totally agree.
	It should be patrolled.
	The letter M is for Malay, says I'm a celebrity, UK contestants get sent to Australia to eat ancient delicacies and befriend local fauna.
	How sweet!
	Sparrow thoughtfully, I'm a celebrity, Australian contestants, if I remember correctly, instead of the reverse where they get sent to London to eat ancient delicacies and befriend local fauna there, they get sent to South Africa.
	Yeah, can't be good.
	George says war has changed, it's no longer about nations, ideologies or ethnicity.
	It's an endless series of proxy battles fought by thots and simps over financial dominance.
	I don't think the simps are doing much fighting there.
	No, they've already lost.
	It's women and YouTubers mud-wrestling for the simps.
	I'd hate to be that rude, but seriously, Destiny, come on.
	One hour and 19 minutes of sitting around talking about cookie controversy.
	Yeah, because really, what Destiny should be doing is spending all this time talking about Hasan Piker, to be honest.
	Because it's really funny?
	Yeah, I was going to say, I'm not even joking, right, because Destiny and Hasan Piker were mates, and they come from a very similar shared space, but Destiny is obviously way more clever than Hasan Piker, and knows him inside out, possibly literally, and so every time, like, I watched the stream of his over the weekend, actually, where he's just, and I watched for about two hours, because Destiny is just on every point with Hassan, totally dismantling and deconstructing him.
	And Hassan is just completely laid bare by this, just easily, just Destiny's just like, yeah, and this is that, that's that.
	And it's just like, that was genuinely fun, you know, for somebody who's not a fan of Hassan Piker.
	Have you seen the clips he's been putting on Twitter?
	No, no.
	So there's this one clip where he's putting Hassan next to Hassan, and Hassan's talking about, oh, you know, when a war breaks out, you're allowed to speculate on such things.
	about, you know, say the hospital that was bombed by Israel and it turned out it wasn't.
	And then it cuts to Hassan speculating, where he's screaming at his own chat that they're all racist and hate brown people and want to exterminate the Palestinians because they don't believe him.
	It's like, you're sat in California, you have no idea what's going on.
	You saw one headline and then just started screaming.
	And he's like, yeah, just a bit of speculation.
	Come on, tolerate it.
	I saw Destiny was doing a response to like a debate Hasan had with some guy.
	And Hasan was just persistently owning himself.
	It was genuinely fun to watch.
	Yeah, that's what Destiny should be doing.
	Anyway, I think we're out of time.
	If you'd like more, come back tomorrow, or go and watch a lot of stuff on the website.
	There is quite a lot, and do enjoy.
	And if you haven't been able to, well, look, there's a gift there.
	There's a code, which will get you a 33% off for the first three months, and you can go and get it and check out those videos for cheap.

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