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Oct. 11, 2022 - Louder with Crowder
59:03
SHOCKER: TULSI GABBARD COMES OUT… | Louder with Crowder
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Hey guys, Whistlelower22 here.
You may know of a recent story from the folks at Pulebit exposing Governor Andrew Cuomo's very clearly defined nipple piercings.
Pretty open and shut case, right?
Not so fast.
The real meat of this story began when neocon shill and confirmed twig-armed beta male Steven Crowder had this to say.
Right there.
Well, that might not be nipple rings.
He may have pulled out nipple hair and it has those little, like, goose bumps.
Come on, Shouter.
It's so obvious that only a solid material could make that kind of impression through cloth.
So why would he pretend otherwise?
Unless... he has something to hide.
Unless... Crutter not only has twig arms, but he also has... a Prince Albert.
Thanks for watching, guys.
Huge announcement really quick.
I've just been signed with an MCN recently, so...
Prepare yourselves for truth.
Whistle her out.
Whistle her out.
You're a stranger in love, that's what I know.
You're a stranger in love, I know the ball.
I'm your sweetest.
It's a holiday.
Ew!
Cheers.
Ahoy, everybody, and welcome to Louder with Crowder with Dave.
Thank you very much.
I'm very good at stuff.
Today is National Coming Out Day.
I don't know if you know that.
I'm sure some of you know that, and some of you might be planning a big day.
Bring cake.
We're also going to be talking about what do Madonna and Tulsi Gabbard have in common.
Am I saying that name right?
I think so.
We have leaked audio of a Birmingham, Alabama lady.
It's pretty racist.
I don't know if you guys have heard.
It's pretty racist.
She's down there in the Birmingham, Alabama.
And PayPal, they made an honest mistake to ruin your life.
Also, Jesus wants you to be a drag queen, apparently.
Jesus who?
Okay.
Well, the question of the day, if you want to go ahead and answer that, is now that Tulsi Gabbard left the Democratic Party, who do you think will leave next?
Go ahead, comment right there.
It's below me.
Below me, not like coming out day, as in B-E-L-O-W.
Alright!
Now let's introduce our panel of lovelies.
Mr. Gerald A., how are you today?
I am doing well.
No news for me.
No news for you?
I don't know.
Not planning a big day.
I'm good.
Not a big day?
You haven't- you don't have a Rip Torn or Rip Tail- no, Rip Torn's a good actor.
Rip Taylor amount of- Nope!
I'm good.
Of confetti.
I've already had cake for my birthday.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Your birthday was the other day.
I have to be careful what I say.
On this show, not because of YouTube, but because of this show.
You sell wine, so you have many homosexual clients.
No, that's not why at all.
Guys, I'm gay.
So not.
There's nothing wrong with that.
They have a disposable income.
That's true.
I'll sell to anybody.
And outcomes, depending on the disease.
So, what happened?
Also, we have Joe Louis.
You can't see him, but he's not sure where to go.
I'll let him leave.
You poor guy.
I love Joe Lou.
Joey Lou, you alright?
Yes, there you go.
He's just, he's still afraid.
Speed it up.
Tokenowin, how are you today?
Well, if you knew what national coming out day we'd be popping, that's how it works.
You good?
Ahoy to you, my friend.
Ahoy.
All right, Casey Bones, how are you today?
I'm fine, good morning.
Good morning to you, sir.
Tim the Tool Man, ahoy.
Morning, Dave.
And you know him, you love him.
I'm gonna take that from me and give it to him, because he's one of my favorite people.
Please welcome to the show, the one and only Crawdaddy.
Thank you, David.
Ahoy, how are you, sir?
Fantastic, thanks.
You've been good?
I've been good.
It's been a while since you've been on the show.
It has been a while.
Stomach flu's going around the tribe, so as you know, Stephen isn't here, so... That was good.
Is he got the... Is it the mouth, or the... It's the koozies, the cooties.
Both, apparently.
Both.
He's doing the palmer horse.
I'm so glad I'm at this desk.
Yeah, something's coming out of Stephen right now.
He's trying to touch everything.
One way or the other.
Getting them demons out.
Oh, Lord.
That is, it's not fun.
He's like, I can't hydrate!
No, it's... Well, these twins are like little Petri dishes, you know.
Oh, blame the kids!
They stick the fist in the mouth because they're teething and they throw that in your mouth and you have Lou Gehrig's disease.
Yeah.
I don't think that's how it works.
The young boy's sneaking out at night, no one knows where he's going.
I'm one!
I gotta be free!
It's true though, for the first year of their lives, you get horribly sick, and then you slowly get used to it.
That's all it is.
That's all it is, yeah.
You don't actually become well.
No, you just get used to being sick.
You're not well ever again.
Different degrees of sickness.
Yeah, it's a terrible idea to have kids.
Alright.
No, it's wonderful.
No, it's the best thing ever.
I mean, if you like sleeping or being healthy, it's not the best idea.
Yeah, I wouldn't price sleep.
No.
That's not a good idea.
Do you sleep well?
No.
No.
I didn't sleep well before kids.
That's true.
Night terrors?
No.
The old sidelines?
Coach?
Extracurricular activities.
Dave?
Rubbing the goods.
Get out there and show them your meat.
It's National Coming Out Day.
That's not you.
That was the Washington... They used to be called the Redskins.
Oh no, it was the Giants?
They were playing the Washington... No?
Fourskins.
They were playing the Green Bay Packers.
Oh, were they?
Well, there you go there, too.
They were getting ready to pack them.
Well, best packers on the planet.
Well, today is National Coming Out Day, and to celebrate, well, I guess Madonna Is gay now.
I don't know.
She's 64 and has six children.
She moves like she's 94.
She does.
I know.
She's 64 and has six children.
Uh-huh.
She moves like she's 94.
She does.
I know.
Yeah, she's, uh, I'd say she hasn't been, uh, uh, sought after since 94.
The wall hit hard.
Yeah.
The video's a little strange, but it's, you know, it's nothing you haven't seen around the office.
You know, at least here.
Dude, what are you doing?
Hey.
If I miss this shot, you gotta kiss me.
Okay He's a good kisser
Wow.
It's almost like he wanted it.
Yeah.
Weird.
Bad herpes.
That's the problem.
Don't pretend.
Bad herpes.
I don't know why Darius would agree to that.
Yeah.
Yeah, he did say okay quickly, didn't he?
Yeah, he was like, oh, finally.
I've been waiting on this moment.
Did you read my application?
I've asked you to play beer pong many times.
I want to kiss the partially Asian boy.
But it's just a joke.
I'm doing it ironically.
Yeah, it's a joke!
Let's do it on coming out day.
I wrote that.
When it's pretend.
Oh, we gotta wear shirts?
This sucks.
I quit.
And in another coming out story, Tulsi Gabbard made a huge announcement this morning.
She's officially leaving the Democratic Party.
I can no longer remain in today's Democratic Party that's under the complete control of an elitist cabal of warmongers who are driven by cowardly wokeness, who divide us by racializing every issue and stoking anti-white racism, who actively work to undermine our God-given freedoms that are enshrined in our Constitution.
Who are hostile to people of faith and spirituality.
Who demonize the police but protect criminals at the expense of law-abiding Americans.
Who believe in open borders.
Who weaponize the national security state to go after their political opponents.
And above all, who are dragging us ever closer to nuclear war.
Now, I believe in a government that's of the people, by the people, and for the people.
Unfortunately, today's Democratic Party does not.
Instead, it stands for a government that is of, by, and for the powerful elite.
I'm calling on my fellow common-sense, independent-minded Democrats to join me in leaving the Democratic Party.
If you can no longer stomach the direction that the so-called woke Democratic Party ideologues are taking our country, then I invite you to join me.
If she were a president, she'd be Baberham Lincoln.
She certainly would.
I mean, I get what you're saying.
I like it.
I think it's 100%.
But where do you think she's going?
I don't know.
I think she's a lady of the people.
You know, she's got her Jay Leno shirt and her Val Kilmer willow hair.
But she's hot.
But she also looks like a drunk bus driver.
So, you know, you got that.
That works.
She throws that little grey streak in for me, David.
Yeah, like she had a little cuckoo bird.
That's to let you know she's absolutely attainable.
I'm past my prime.
I like it, though.
I like that she's not only leaving, she's also calling on fellow Democrats who maybe are more centrist.
Like I said, I don't know that there's a ton of them out there, but Oh, I think if you've lived in any major city and looked outside you're probably somewhere in the middle.
middle. Then you would have to admit that you're wrong and that you've been wrong
and that this that you see is your responsibility because you voted wrong
and I don't know that people are willing to do that. I've admitted that I'm wrong
a lot.
Well, she checked all the right boxes, though.
I mean, she hit them all hard.
Yeah.
Those are all areas they have to defend.
I hope they leave en masse.
And I hope they, at the very least, we're talking about this, go to the Libertarian Party.
I'm totally fine with you stealing votes from the Democrats.
Democrats just going to another party and saying, well, we're not going to vote for these guys at least.
Well, I think if you want to change the platform of your party to not be lunatics, it makes sense to go, yeah, we don't really want to burn down everything and steal votes.
We'd like to not be those people.
And mail ballots to people on accident.
She is pretty libertarian, but they don't pull from the Democrats though.
They're freedom-loving folks.
No, no, no.
What I'm saying is if Democrats leave, if Democrat voters and Democrat politicians leave the party and go to Libertarian, they're going to pull Democrat votes to the Libertarian party, which I'm fine with because they're not going to get enough for a long time to be a contender.
I'm sorry.
It's just, it is.
It is what it is, right?
I don't even know if they're going to ever be able to contend, but at least they'll pull votes away from Democrats.
If Democrat voters are leaving with them to go Libertarian because they're like, ah, I can't be a Republican because that's fascism.
Well, yeah.
She could go independent too, no?
Yeah, sure.
That's fine too.
Whatever you want to do!
As long as you're not one of them demon crets anymore.
Yeah, just don't vote for the biology skeleton that's in there now.
The gender-bred person.
Yeah, the whatever is left of the guy whose one eye doesn't blink.
He's a mess.
I can't, he's not even a person.
I'm sorry.
The million dollar man, Dave.
Where's the light?
On a budget.
I have a fight people named Skittle Flakes.
Alright, grab them.
Wrangle them.
Go ahead, comment.
What's your speculation?
What do you think she should do?
Not she, but do you think other people should follow suit?
What group should they join?
Maybe the Klan?
I thought it would be funny to say that.
Don't do that, don't do that.
It's a bad one.
It could be the Black Klan.
Well, they're also bad.
I think all of those are bad.
Well, there's a black clan.
They were in Lansing, Michigan.
They killed Malcolm X's dad.
Really?
Yeah.
They were the black clansmen.
Wow.
They weren't black.
They just wore black.
Oh.
Yeah.
Well, see, that's a plot twist.
I know.
Well, they were like, we want to do stuff at night in this white bedsheets.
Kind of give it away.
I don't know.
They're all stupid.
Yeah, that's right.
I know some of you are watching.
I've seen this show.
All right.
It's a live show.
Speaking of which, Monday through Thursday at 10 a.m.
Eastern, you can watch us on Rumble, Podcasts, Mug Club.
Those are all of the preferred platforms, if you want to go to any of those.
Or check us out on YouTube if you want.
I guess.
While we're still on it.
And not being paid by them for giving them a bunch of views.
So yeah.
Support YouTube!
They're great.
Wonderful people.
Yeah.
You know what Tulsi Gabbard might be good on?
There's a shoutout app.
Have you ever heard of that?
I have.
Yeah, it's a good app.
I hear Gerald Morgan might be getting on there too.
Gerald Morgan should get on shoutout.
That's where you can get anybody that can wish you a happy birthday.
I could wish you a happy coming out day.
You just would have to pay me for it.
I'd be like, happy coming out day, Gerald.
I feel like you're going to do that anyway.
I know, I'm gonna send one to you.
You're like, hey, I paid $1,000.
Wow, that's weird.
I'm going to pay, I'm going to buy myself one.
and dance like nobody's watching.
I think you always do that, right?
Are we clear?
Did we... Are we good?
Did we save the day?
Yes?
Nay?
Somebody?
I don't know.
Hello?
Anybody?
I didn't hear.
I think we missed it.
Oh, well, good.
I got it right away.
Well... Good.
Perfect.
Okay.
All right.
We're back on.
I didn't say anything.
Yay.
With Dave.
It's my fault.
I'll take responsibility because I didn't use gender correctly.
Yeah.
And I want to.
I don't want to alienate anybody.
No.
No third reel.
You just don't know who you're alienating.
No 1970s car parts at all.
None.
None.
All shall be listed.
Let's just move on.
Yeah, we should be good to go.
Yeah, good.
Thank you, Duncan Allen.
I appreciate it.
You didn't sound very confident.
No, he looks like he's sweating.
He looks like it's the last day he's working here.
Like he's drinking a cup of gravy.
Warm jacket over here.
Yeah, it's hot.
Real hot.
And he just kissed a guy a minute ago, so it's kind of, you know.
That's fine, we'll lose all of our no money from YouTube.
No, not that we want to.
Which is, they should pay him.
Anyway, there's some leaked racist audio, I don't know if you guys have heard about this.
It's from Gerald Morgan's car, he's yelling in traffic.
Also not true.
Oh, sorry.
I just, I'm on fire today.
The mayor of Birmingham, Alabama, resigned actually after audio of a very, very racist remarks were leaked to the media.
We have a picture.
Right here.
This is the white lady in question right here.
It's Mayor Nancy Smith and Deputy Mayor Bubba Johnson were recorded comparing their colleague's black son to an ancestry.
Accessory.
Yes.
Well, the Ancestry, they also did.
They were discussing them.
Yeah, they were discussing the Ancestry too, my mistake.
But yes, they did compare him to an accessory, which is a little weird.
They were speaking also in Swedish, the whitest language possible.
Smith also called the boy an appa, which means monkey, which as we all know is very, very offensive.
And racist.
Yes.
And even though Paul Mooney would tell you white people look more like monkeys because they have straight hair.
And to put icing on the cake, she even had racist comments about Birmingham's Puerto Rican population.
These are actual quotes.
I see a lot of little short dark people.
Oh wow.
I was like, I don't know what village they come from, how they got here, and then they also said Tanfeos, which means they're ugly.
Well, we actually got a fact check on that.
Clean that up a little.
Not the right... So, yeah, the rest of the information is below.
It's actually... Oh, I see.
It was not a white... Oh, no.
Okay.
Oh, I'm sorry.
It was a Los Angeles City Council president named Nury Martinez.
It was in no way a white lady.
Okay.
Yes.
My bad.
Okay.
It was a lady.
A Latinx.
Yeah.
Here's the actual audio, yeah.
Go get the airport from his little brother, that little bitch Bonnet.
I go, I go, what is with Bonnet?
I said, Bonnet thinks he's black.
That guy don't think he's black.
I go, he thinks he's black.
I go, the same thing.
He goes, why are they so close?
He's from Massachusetts.
It's an accessory.
He's black. Yeah. He's Latino.
He brings it like this during Black History Month. He brings it to the council. He puts it here. Remember? He
brings it.
He says it's an accessory. When we do the MLK parade.
Like an accessory?
He has statues in plantations.
You know how Puerto Ricans hate parades. Yes.
Yes.
It's like the oddest thing.
It's like black and brown on this float.
And then there's this white guy with the little black kid who's misbehaved.
I have a child.
Wow.
Yeah, compared to the kid to a handbag.
Essentially.
Saying he was all for show.
He's an accessory.
And crapped on an entire ethnic group, which was fun.
And then the worst part of it was that she called the black boy a monkey.
Yeah, this is actually her photo.
Yeah.
Go ahead and hit the like button.
Pretty hot.
I mean, awful person.
I'm not going to say that she's a good person.
Yeah.
We're told everything that we hear is that white people are racist against black people.
And that's why we chose Birmingham, Alabama.
We're like, all right, let's pick the deep south and make it look like white Jennifer Garner.
We'll put that on there.
No, this is Hispanic people in Los Angeles.
Well, I have news.
You do?
Every group can be a little bit racist.
No, no, no, Dave.
Only white people can be racist.
I'm sorry, let me rephrase that.
Only white people can be racist.
No, it doesn't feel right.
No.
It doesn't feel right.
No, it's not right.
It's because this one time I was getting hit with a crowbar and they said honky.
Were you honking?
Her comments were almost unintelligible, even with the transcript there.
Yeah, she definitely didn't think she was being recorded.
She was doing Spanglish.
A little mix, which happens a lot.
Especially in LA, there's always a little bit of that.
And if you want to get your keys made, just send your friend Sebastian, who speaks fluent Spanish, and he'll get them for free.
They just hook each other up.
It's like the Eddie Murphy sketch where he becomes the white guy and he gets free stuff.
He's like, I'd like to buy this newspaper.
He's like, just take it.
There's nobody around.
You're white.
Just take it.
Spanish people just do that.
It's called white like me.
Which I don't blame them.
I think it's great to have a community like that.
Free stuff helps.
So the person that makes the keys owns the key shop?
Usually they own the truck and the parking lot.
I can't speak of the permits.
I thought maybe they were stealing from Walmart and giving these to friends, maybe.
No, they're usually hanging out outside of the Home Depot.
That's not even being racist, that's just serious.
That's usually a good keema.
When you get those free deals, just don't ask where it comes from.
Just take the free.
Yeah, I don't care.
It's free.
Yeah, it's totally free.
Should be fine.
Or you tip them a buck.
You're such a lazy tipper.
I am a great tipper.
A buck?
I tipped $50 on a $40 bill the other day.
Just to see the smile on the waitress's face.
You know why?
Because people are not good to people.
Read Charles Bukowski.
I agree with that poem.
You know, whenever I do that, my credit card company sends me an email and a text.
Did you mean to do this?
Yeah.
They show the waitress getting dragged out of her house in front of her kids.
They show her in the back of a squad car.
Is this the lady who took your Amex?
That would be a great ploy to get somebody fired, just way over tip, and then be like, no, I didn't tip that.
No, they put zeros on it.
Yeah, ah, they added stuff.
I meant, I meant cash, and by waitress I meant hooker.
Alright.
Well.
Let's talk about, but there are, I mean blacks and Mexicans, they do kind of, I mean we've all talked, let's talk about Menace to Society for example, in that movie, they drop off the cops, drop off the black guy in the Mexican neighborhood, amongst the cholos, to get his ass kicked.
Let nature take its course.
Indeed.
And what they thought was going to happen.
Yeah, let's see some stuff about blacks and Mexicans.
Listen to me, all y'all.
This whole f***ing thing is like changing of the guard.
Back in the day, all these neighborhoods used to be black, and what are they now?
Mexicans.
Exactly.
There used to be chicken stands on the corner, now there's f***ing taco stands on every corner.
Some real s***.
If we don't come together, there's gonna be some extinct sh** pretty soon.
What's on the phone?
Move! Move! Move!
What an odd Geico commercial.
Was that Mayhem?
I think so.
Are you in good hands?
The new 2023 Chrysler Caravan.
The AR-15.
15 fit in five of your homies and twist their caps back oh man
Yeah, that's always been though.
It has.
That's not really racism.
That's just gang warfare.
Gang territory.
What the black guy was saying was kind of racist, but it was really stereotypical.
How about that?
There used to be chicken stands on every corner, and now they're taco stands.
I feel like the beginning of the sentence is racist.
Yes.
He's like, I don't like the diversity.
Oh.
He's like, I want to go back to just the chicken.
Well, becoming extinct is pretty telling.
Yeah.
It's not really, I don't know.
That seems racist in the sense of you just want the food that benefits you.
That's true.
Say if you're white and you're like, I just want the cucumber sandwich shop.
No, nobody wants that.
It's not about the food, Dave.
Is that not it?
I would rather go extinct than only have cucumber sandwiches.
I know.
Or what about fish and chips?
I can deal with that, but that'll kill you too.
I mean, over time.
Well, yeah.
It's not bad.
Long John Silvers won't go into those neighborhoods.
No.
There's never a fried food area in a bad neighborhood.
We can all attest to that.
Or a liquor store.
Or check cashing.
No.
I've never seen one.
Not a pawn shop to be found.
Yeah, that's nice.
I made $400 this week, and what do you give me for it?
$230.
Great.
Thank you.
That's fantastic.
Yes, I love cashing my check with you, sir.
This is just enough to buy a .40 and a gun.
Used to be able to find a good bail bondsman down there, but...
Yeah.
You don't need them anymore.
You just go there and they go, you go, what's bail?
And they go, nothing.
Oh, and you go, all right.
I like it.
Oh, this is pretty good.
I'm going to go do the crime I just did again.
And by the way, sir, we just want to let you know, you won't be arrested if you only steal $999 worth of goods.
Just the more, you know, tip for you not to come back and let go again.
And that's why I go to Walgreens.
Don't want to inconvenience you.
I just take $900 worth of socks.
It's all the socks.
The security guard.
You probably could take all the socks at Walgreens and be like, what you gonna do about it?
Well, it would take multiple trips.
Yeah, I mean... Well, they don't have that many socks.
Yeah, I'd be wearing a lot of Hanes Herways.
You just keep missing the trash can.
I guess I'm still gay.
Son of a...
Well yes, racism, what we're saying is racism does exist in America and it exists amongst everybody and I think if we're all going to come together we have to admit that and go back to making fun of each other.
Yes, it's better to make fun of each other than to be racist towards one another.
Right?
Of course.
You grew up in a fairly black neighborhood, yes?
Well, you know, when I was growing up it wasn't as... I went to school with mostly black kids, but no, the neighborhood where I grew up is now entirely black.
Yeah.
And I think you've told me some of the highest gang activity in the country.
Oh, east side of Detroit?
Wasn't that way then, though.
Yeah, in the 90s it was big time, too.
Yeah, it's... well, no, it's not getting better.
Only because fewer people live there now.
Yeah, I guess technically.
Dave, the house I grew up in sold for $8,000.
That's pretty good.
Did you buy it?
No, the other two homes on the street are free for squatters' rights if you pull the boards off the windows.
Who is coming with eight grand and like, yeah, I'm gonna do this.
Oh, how do you like your new house?
It was great.
I went in and four pit bulls ate my girlfriend.
I didn't like her anyway.
It's because they ran out of rags.
Yeah, what'd you paint it with?
Blood.
The blood of my friends.
Never have to paint it again.
Yeah.
Oh, it's a nice roof.
What is it?
Oh, there's a tree growing through it.
Ah, yeah, yeah.
It's great.
Nature.
It's a wonderful thing.
When we were in Royal Oak for the show, I took Johnny Boy down, you know, west side.
Yeah.
Off of Woodward, below maybe six mile or so.
He said, I saw Ukraine last night on the news.
It wasn't this bad.
No.
It had just been bombed.
Yeah, yeah.
Entire halves of buildings missing just caved in and burned out.
Oh, totally.
Because those were all bombed and then they didn't fix it.
They didn't fix it.
They let it go.
They were like, ah, it's fine.
Nature will take its course.
We'll just let this become urban farmland.
Yeah.
That's a good idea.
I like urban farmers.
Isn't that great?
I like when you see them on the news and they're just holding their bleeding faces going, I don't know why the gang members stabbed me and took all my pumpkins.
It's great when you have a high-rise with a tree growing on the top floor straight up.
Oh, it's amazing.
Just accumulated muck and a tree.
The seed got planted and it grew a major tree.
It's like your own little tree fort.
How many years did that take to grow that tree?
What used to be a high-rise business.
I'm going to guess roughly from the late 60s.
If I had to venture a guess.
Good times.
If you ever wanted to see a nice scenic area, go there.
There are some nice parts of it.
And by that, I mean there aren't.
Now, speaking of nice things and mistakes, PayPal made a big mistake.
I don't know if you guys saw that.
Big mistake.
You hear me, PayPal?
Big mistake.
Last week, a new policy released by PayPal said the payment services See, I do that all the time.
I already know the story, and then I read this stuff.
I don't need to read it.
I know it.
Oh.
So let me do this again.
Tell it to us, Dave.
Yeah, but you didn't drop that part.
Last week, a new policy released by PayPal said that payment service giants would fine users $2,500 for expressing misinformation.
For if you say you like Trump, or if Gerald is straight.
Don't take your anger out on me.
I know, you're right.
It's not your fault I can't read right.
You're just bad with letters.
It's a school for children who can't read good and do other stuff good too.
Really do anything.
I like the way he slated himself, like he could do another take.
No, I know.
I wish I did.
Slap his hand on the desk.
I read all the time, but then when it comes to a prompter, and I also have LASIK, so there's no excuse.
And I perform in front of a live audience all the time.
2015 vision.
Yeah, for some reason, like, you know what it is?
I went to the people that did LASIK for the Detroit Lions.
That's the problem.
So they did it almost good.
Yeah, exactly.
Like, they did it just enough to where I miss every catch.
Did you want the lineman or did you want the wide receiver?
Say, do you want the quarterback who throws into the stands?
So yeah, you don't want to express misinformation, of course, on PayPal.
These prohibited activities include the sending, posting, or publication of any messages, content, or materials that promote misinformation or present A risk to user safety or well-being?
Well-being!
I love the well-being part.
It's like, oh, let's just use the most broad terms that we can possibly use.
Misinformation, okay, who defines what misinformation is?
Thanks, got it, because everything that we've seen from the media about misinformation turns out to be, you know, wrong.
But then, well-being of individuals?
I bought an auction item on eBay for a price that you didn't like and I said, ha ha, great deal, and you're like, ah!
That's not good for my well-being.
Of course!
I don't know what snowflake I'm going to offend on the other side.
Yeah, I bought a 15-year-old George Foreman grill and it burned my house down.
That's terrible for your wellbeing.
It was $6.
I bought beanie babies right before they crashed.
Yeah, now I have a whole bunch of whale beanies all over the house.
Nice collection of stuffed animals.
I'm an idiot.
I love those people.
Also, you can comment, what do you think this means?
Because we don't.
What do you think?
What's some misinformation you think that could be promoted?
I don't know.
How are they monitoring you for that policy?
Dave, you said use Venmo and you tell people... I write ridiculous stuff on Venmo.
Yeah!
I could just pull out my Venmo right now and read like the last six things I sent someone.
And five of them would get us banned!
Yeah!
Because I never write it seriously.
That's why it was funny when they're like, the IRS is gonna look at Venmo, I'm like, well that's sex crimes now!
I'm definitely going to prison.
You know, because it's...
Any compensation you send, you put a note.
Yeah, I put a note in, and if there's an emoji that's close enough to resemble what it was, like if there's like... Then you'll use that too!
Like two pumpkins facing each other, a sausage and money.
You know?
Which I think everybody does in this game.
Which I think everybody does.
If you scroll through Venmo, there's nothing real on there.
It's just people like...
It's like... It's awesome.
It's like, you paid your friend $112 for beating an old lady to death?
Well, uh... Yeah, that's about right, yeah.
You are under oath, sir.
I did not, except I did do that, yes.
No, it's a comedy.
It's just joking around.
You find this amusing?
I do.
You find beating ladies amusing?
Well, hypothetically.
I mean, I don't really, but I think it'd be funny to pay someone for it.
On a public service.
And only pay $112.
I mean, come on, that's comedy.
I think having a receipt of killing a woman is funny.
You're saying I can't write that off as a business expense?
One of the 87,000 IRS agents potentially showing up at my door, is that what you're saying?
Yeah, so you paid $500 to your opening act for a taint waxing?
That's right.
It's a specialized service.
Usually they cost a thousand, got a deal.
A bring-your-own-candles waxing party.
I'm not even kidding, it says these things.
So now you're gonna take Matt down with you?
Yeah, that's what I'm not gonna say his name.
He's having a baby right now.
Is he?
Yeah, yeah, it's this week, any minute now.
His wife's in the hospital.
Actually, he'll have to read about it because he's going to be arrested.
Yeah, yeah, that's true.
I was going to send him a monetary gift as well to say congratulations, you're having a baby.
But I wouldn't say that in it.
You would say something else.
Yeah.
I would be like, I hope you didn't pick a gender, you fascist.
But nothing about the race of the baby.
No, nothing at all.
No, no, no.
No, we don't mention that.
It's uh...
It's not his.
Sorry.
That's a lie.
But PayPal saying the whole thing was just an honest mistake.
PayPal feeling the ripple effect from this today.
Its stocks taking a significant dip.
Last week, the company expanded its use policy to include prohibiting customers from sending, posting, or publishing any messages, content, or materials that promote misinformation.
It included a $2,500 fine for each violation.
PayPal's former president criticized the move, along with company co-founder Elon Musk.
Today a PayPal spokesman clarified the move saying PayPal is not fining people for misinformation and this language was never intended to be inserted in our policy.
We're sorry for the confusion this has caused.
Okay, look at it again.
Okay.
This language was never intended to be inserted in our policy.
We're sorry for the confusion this has caused.
You said we're going to charge you $2,500 for misinformation.
It's not confusing.
I mean, it's confusing when misinformation is, but the fine was pretty... Clear.
Yeah, pretty specific.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And by the way... Clear as a bell, the radio.
The language was never intended to be inserted.
What you could have said is, we never had any intention to fine people for what they say on our platform when they're paying people.
Yeah, also, do you have a legal right to even do that?
I don't know.
I guess it's a private company.
They can probably try and use that angle for it.
Aren't you dipping into the bank of another private company and just being like, that's ours now?
Well, it's kind of like what the banks do anyway.
Overdraft fees and stuff.
They just, like, take your money.
Maybe just don't spend money you don't have.
But hey, neither way.
It would have been clearer to say that.
I think what they are really saying is, we didn't know that you guys read that stuff.
I thought it was just going to slip past everybody.
They just got caught.
That's it.
Yeah, because a bunch of people were like, $2,500?
No.
And then they told everybody.
Who's the last person to make this policy?
It's such a gross amount of money that others found out.
Yeah.
What is this, like a goof that somebody thought would be funny?
And it made it through?
Who wouldn't notice that?
Bang up job, PayPal.
Somebody's fired.
You'd be like, did I pay someone for a used Toyota?
I don't recall this transaction.
That $2,500 you took, what was it that I said?
I mean, I realize that I sent it to Matt to eat McGriddles off his chest.
But that really happened.
So that's not misinformation.
No!
I guess with PayPal, I'll be dead serious about the things that I do.
Anyway.
It's still gonna get you put in jail.
Do you have PayPal?
Did you?
Uh, I do.
Yeah.
I don't use it much.
No.
You're like an older generation.
I'm not trying to be insulting.
I didn't get PayPal until a few years ago when I was like selling stuff at shows and then I still claimed everything because I'm afraid of... The Urs?
Yeah!
I used some other cash app recently.
I forget the name of it.
Zelle?
Square.
I use Zelle all the time.
Square.
Lame-o.
Dave, I want to know why every female news anchor has to put on that voice.
Why is that?
It is a good point.
It's like, hey, do you want to have sex with El Capone?
She's telling the story about PayPal.
Yeah.
It's nasally and it's, I guess they're trying to be authoritative.
Yeah.
Hey, it's me.
I'm a lady.
I've got the scoop.
And the parts to go with it.
Yes.
I've got double D's and two scoops for you.
Honey, welcome home.
Hey.
Did you have a- Like an afternoon delight?
Oh, no.
No.
I'll pass.
Sky rockets in flight.
I'm gonna wear my news anchor outfit.
I'll be the news anchor.
You'll be the weatherman.
I'll throw to you.
This just in.
Me!
In completely unrelated news, this is definitely not representative of a trend.
The Colorado Secretary of State's office accidentally sent 30,000 postcards to non-citizens encouraging them to register to vote.
Democratic Secretary of State Janet Griswold's office sent 30,000 non-citizens an invitation to go register to vote.
Those folks are not eligible to vote.
Mailers printed in English and Spanish encouraged people to register and included instructions on how to do that.
The mailers also listed the eligibility requirements, things like being a U.S.
citizen and a resident of Colorado.
The Secretary of State's office blamed the bad mailing list on a database error.
The people who got the mailer should not be able to register to vote if they tried, because they wouldn't have the right kind of driver's license or social security number.
The Secretary of State's office says it will now send out a second mailer for the same group of 30,000 who got the first mailer, reiterating that citizenship requirement.
Hit the like button.
Helps with our algorithm.
And also, uh... What?
That one.
Don't use the gun.
Alright.
I love that guy saying, they shouldn't be able to vote because they won't most likely have the right form of identification.
I'm like, are any of these people non-citizens?
Okay, I understand non-citizens can be here legally, but are any portion of these maybe illegal?
Colorado?
And you have an address!
Yeah.
Go get them!
Why do 30,000 of them have addresses?
And the people who receive the mailer should get out.
This is probably a warning.
It's great because the mailer's already filled out for you.
You just have to send them back.
That's right.
I love how it was like, oh, it's a database error.
And you wonder why we have questions!
You make all these mistakes and we're just supposed to say like, yeah, no, this is 100% cool.
How is it a database error?
You see, what happened is they sent them intentionally.
Right.
Potentially, maybe.
Well, that would be the only way.
And then realized, oopsies.
Yeah, because physically, I don't think, what, a database put them in the mailbox?
Well, so here's the thing.
If you're in the Secretary of State's office, right, and your job is to send out information to voters, you would probably have a list of voters.
Yes.
Addresses.
You don't necessarily need to have a list of all the people who can't vote to send mailers to.
What, are you going to send them a yearly mailer?
Hey, remember, you rapscallion, you can't vote.
Yeah, it would be odd because when they came to renew their license plate tab, you would go, who are you?
You're just not on the list.
I think that's the way to take care of it, right?
Yeah, you'd be like, you don't belong here.
You don't go to a club and be like, yeah, I'm on the list.
Sorry, I don't see your name.
That's usually what happens instead of like, no, you're actually on the not allowed in list.
So they don't audit eligibility.
Right.
Right.
Essentially.
Yes.
That's fantastic.
Well, their name was on a list.
It must be okay.
I wish that worked when I was like 18, 17.
Just go to a club and go, hey, I'm a hot girl and I'm 21.
They're like, yeah, come on in.
Yeah, we can't say anything about that.
Ladies, welcome.
Ladies night.
You gotta let hot chicks in.
I'd be like, thank you.
Hi, I'm Dave.
Hi, I'm also Dave.
Hey, there's a lot of guys here.
Yeah, the bouncer's pretty woke.
I have tits.
Man, you don't even need that.
I'll say that all the time.
Every time I shower, I'm like, look at these sweater puppies.
You sound like a gay.
I know.
That is fair.
Yeah, well, I try to work out, and then I stop.
These mistakes constantly happen, though, as we were saying, in one direction, we should say, with the voting, is what we're discussing.
Well, then, the mistakes.
The mistakes, not the unpurposes.
The mistakes seem to always happen in this one direction.
The one direction, the mistakes always happen, possibly on purpose.
CNN and WAPO.
That's a very derogatory term for Italians.
CNN and WAPO slandered Nick Sandman.
That's also a derogatory term for Arabs.
And that was totally a mistake.
Yes, just a mistake.
And in 2020, Twitter accidentally suspended the Babylon Bee.
Our bad.
We thought you were real news.
Oh, crazy.
And Jack Dorsey admitted Twitter should have buried the Hunter Biden story.
Should not.
Oh, the laptop.
Look at that.
And I'll go ahead and let you field this one.
Yeah, Trayvon Martin case.
I don't know if you guys remember, but NBC fired a producer after they doctored the audio call for the 9-1-1 call.
Because if you remember, it's like, you know, he's this person, he's this person, he's black.
Yeah.
And what they cut out is the 9-1-1 operator saying, is he white?
Is he Hispanic?
Is he black?
And he just answered the question, oh, he's black.
They just cut that out.
And that was at the very beginning of the whole kind of Big blow up.
Call that trimming the fat.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, it's called making a Hispanic guy into a white guy and also a racist for getting his butt kicked by a guy defending himself.
Sorry.
They don't use descriptors at 9-1-1.
I don't even like that guy now!
No, nobody likes George Zimmerman.
No, nobody does.
I'm not saying he's a model citizen.
I'm saying in that particular instance, he was defending his life.
I feel like he's kind of a dick.
He is.
And sort of maybe exacerbated the situation.
Well, that could be debated.
It can be debated.
When he made the phone call, he just answered the question.
He didn't say, I'm chasing a black dude!
Yeah, I'm not saying that that's what he did.
We can all agree that that didn't happen.
I also feel that if you're Community Watch, maybe you're taking it too seriously.
A little bit.
You're supposed to be asleep next to a pizza.
The only thing you should wake up to is like, did you hear her screaming?
And you'd be like, aw man.
Sorry, I had my headphones in.
Took an Ambien, started tweeting.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
I'm Neighborhood Watch.
What do you think this is?
This is for show.
You pay me $10 an hour.
Do you have a gun?
Yeah.
I don't even know why they let me have it.
That's weird.
Another situation where basic jiu-jitsu and no one has to die.
Yes!
Right!
I mean, it was the simplest of things.
He pulled his gun and shot a guy.
Yeah, he didn't have to do that.
If he had just, you know, learned to defend himself against a teenager.
Get a guy off the top.
He was sitting on top of him, banging his head on a curb.
Then didn't he have another incident later?
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's not.
Oh, no, no.
I'm not saying you're defending him at all.
Oh, no.
In any way.
We want to make sure our audience knows, like, we don't like George Zimmerman.
Yeah, yeah.
No, I'm not.
Honestly, I wouldn't even put that on you as a joke.
Don't you dare.
I'm not.
Do not speak for him.
I'm pretty sure he sold the gun, too.
Really?
Yeah, didn't he do that?
He sold it on, yeah.
I'm pretty sure.
He probably threw PayPal.
How do you like that, PayPal?
How's your high horse?
Ridiculous!
As long as it wasn't misinformation.
Scumbags.
This next one, you'll really like this.
I think this was pretty recent.
So the January 6th committee admitted to altering a tweet between Mark Meadows and Jim Jordan.
Text.
I'm sorry, a text.
Thank you very much.
We'll cover for both of you.
I've got a case of the Landows.
I'm sorry, I'm contagious.
So, and this was, I think Schiff brought this up, Representative Schiff, so the Select Committee created and provided Schiff a graphic quoting from a text message from a lawmaker to Mark Meadows, and so here's the quote.
On January 6, 2021, Vice President Mike Pence, as President of the Senate, should call out all electoral votes that he believes are unconstitutional as no electoral votes at all.
Period.
Right?
And so that's what they used as the graphic saying, you know, in the January 6th committee, I mean, you know, sham is what I really meant to say.
Yeah.
Here's what the original text reads.
On January 6, 2021, Vice President Mike Pence, as President of the Senate, should call out all the electoral votes that he believes are unconstitutional as no electoral votes at all, dash, not period, in accordance with guidance from Founding Father Alexander Hamilton and judicial precedents.
No legislative act, wrote Alexander Hamilton in Federalist No.
78, contrary to the Constitution, can be valid.
The court in Hubbard v. Lowe reinforces truth that an unconstitutional statute is not a law at all, Well, I think it's important when you take things and edit them.
That's what you want to do for the... No!
They inserted a period and also started to attribute it to Jim Jordan when it was actually from a lawyer
Does anybody else need any further information on the January 6th committee to understand that it is absolutely a
political circus?
Well, I think it's important when you take things and edit them
Yes, and make them say things that they didn't say that slavery was okay. That's what you want to do for the no.
Yeah It's how Mark Furman got OJ killed
guilty.
Yes, yes, yes.
But here's- He threw blood where there was already blood.
Yes.
And he took O.J.' 's own glove and left it at the scene.
Yeah, it's like, it's like, Mark, there's blood everywhere.
Why did you add some?
Yeah, well.
I just felt like- It's like adding quick to chocolate milk.
Like Norm said, he accidentally spilled a bucket of O.J.' 's DNA.
So look, a committee spokesperson did come out and admit, and this was their, oops, it was an error, in the graphic, the period at the end of that sentence was added inadvertently.
It wasn't the end of a sentence!
And how do you accidentally add a period where one did not exist prior?
This was obviously on purpose, right?
And the following word wasn't capitalized.
Yeah, well, exactly.
It's an honest mistake when you're rewriting it.
It was forwarded by Jim Jordan.
They eliminated half of the sentence that they were talking about.
They didn't provide any of the context and they tried to show this as evidence.
They admitted it as evidence and then the media ran with it.
And then they come out and say, oops, but here's the heartfelt apology.
The select committee is responsible for and regrets the error.
Oh.
Why, because you got caught?
Why don't you go ahead and comment.
Would you believe that they regret the error?
No!
Yeah, I don't know what, it just says tell them to comment.
I don't know what you want them to say.
No idea why.
Good.
Yeah, comment what, uh, you think that was on purpose?
Of course you do.
There are mistakes, and then there are proactive attempts to mislead.
I mean, it's unbelievable.
It's not a mistake.
It just happens.
Oh, gee, is it a typo?
No, you schemed in advance to alter something for a purpose.
Yeah, and I think you put it in the best way possible, too.
You capitalize something after a period.
That means you edited it.
It's not like, whoops!
And it's not like you didn't have the whole thing.
Yeah.
This was evidence turned over.
You asked for people's text messages and communications between certain individuals.
You got it.
You looked at this and said, this sounds worse if I put a period here.
It's exactly what happened.
You guys, we know how this works.
When you're trying to talk to, you know, talk about a story, we see it in the news all the time.
They just end it wherever it's convenient.
We try to give you both sides.
We try to give you context.
We try to give you the other stories, but it's like, oh, that's so obvious.
Why is it that people are fooled by this?
I don't know.
Just keeps happening.
Well, because they want to be.
That's true.
I mean, if it confirms what you already believe, then fine, you'll believe it.
But if it goes against it, then that's when you start doing some research.
Darren, I mean, this didn't used to be quite like this, right?
I mean, we weren't quite so gullible, or maybe we just were, and there's so many of these things that happen we just don't think about?
I ask myself that all the time.
I wonder if it didn't go on and we didn't know about it.
We're in such an environment of communication now.
But these people unwittingly create more honesty.
Donald Trump's been investigated more than anybody.
He's probably the cleanest guy that's ever held that office.
It's unbelievable the scrutiny.
You think the founding fathers could have undergone any of this?
No.
I mean, these guys weren't perfect, right?
But when you're under that microscope all the time, you're going to mind your Ps and Qs, aren't you?
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, he did 80% of the time.
The other 20% of the time, he's like, yeah, burn it down.
And the other 20% of the time was pretty hilarious.
It was.
Made for good comedy.
Yeah.
That was the part I liked, was the comedy.
But don't you just assume?
And the economy.
That was nice, too.
Wasn't that nice when you looked at your portfolio and you thought, my gracious.
I can retire.
I can't.
Until I couldn't.
Right.
Like, my goodness, I can't believe that anything could be worth this much.
And then I looked the other day and I was like, nothing.
It's not worth it anymore.
Yeah.
I called up, honestly, my stockbroker the other day.
It was just a gunshot.
I was like, are you there?
Nothing.
He did one of those Monty Pythons out the window.
Yep.
But don't you guys just assume nowadays you're always on camera?
Everything you write is going to be seen.
Everything you write is.
I won't keep a diary.
I won't make Venmo comments.
Well, that's why I do, because I know they're going to see it.
That's why I use a soundboard.
Well, I know that they're going to edit down anything I've ever said, and I'm a comic.
So the way that I look at, too, being a comic or even somebody in broad, if there's a microphone in front of me and I'm saying something funny, I assure you it's a joke.
And if you want to take it as anything else, that's your fault.
It's my intention, not your interpretation.
Sorry.
But that's the reality.
And I mean, you can either stick with that or go like, oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to hurt your feelings because someone told you you should be upset.
It's true, though.
It's so stupid.
We have to get to a better place than this.
If we stay here, I mean, look at that.
That's a committee hearing, right?
Maybe nothing happens with that, right?
So the ramifications, not that big.
The only thing they're trying to do right now is steer an election in favor of Democrats by painting Donald Trump as a fascist and everybody who supports him as somebody who wants to overthrow the government, right?
So they're using projection.
Right, yeah, exactly.
That's important, but take it just the next step further.
If this works, if we're this easily duped, Democracy goes at some point.
It just goes because you'll just be lied to enough.
Now, you won't know it necessarily.
You'll be so lied to that you're like, no, this is 100% true and we're voting for this person.
But democracy is gone.
You're just being lied to the entire time.
And maybe some people feel like that right now, but that's why shows like this exist to be like, Hey guys, this is not fun.
This is not okay.
No.
You can't do this.
I mean, we try to do it both ways.
Like we said with Donald Trump, when he said some stuff we disagreed with, we called him out on it.
I think Stephen called him out live on it when we were talking about the guns, when he was like, hey, can't we just take the guns first?
I was like, well, no, that's the Second Amendment.
You can't just take the guns first and come up with a reason later.
Yeah.
Right?
100%.
You have to be able to do that.
Anyway, I'm beating a dead horse here, but still, it's important for us to get to a better place than this.
I don't know how to do it yet.
But people that subscribe to the show, people that are Mug Club people, you're supporting us doing that.
So we appreciate it.
It seems as though January 6th, though, is fizzling out.
Don't you think it's losing all its energy?
I think it lost it a while ago, but they're still trying to push that through.
And, you know, they're going to try and lead this into an indictment against Trump or something to disqualify him from running for president again in 2024, which, again, I hope he runs just for the fact that it would be hilarious what he says.
And then he goes, I was kidding.
I'm dropping out and let, you know, Ron DeSantis or whoever else is, you know, kind of the front runner with him or anything, go.
I just want the comedy back.
Yeah, I mean, the way he even got elected, when you think about it, it was just, at least when I was talking to all my friends, it was like, alright, this is hilarious.
I hope this keeps going.
I really like that he's calling everybody out.
And then as it kept going, it was like, alright, we got it.
Seriously, though, who do you think it should be?
For real, for real.
Like, you can't really just have him.
And then as it kept narrowing, once it got to Jeb Bush, like, please clap.
I was like, I think Trump might be the guy.
I remember Steven and I, and I won't tell his part of the story, but I was telling him in Michigan when we were up there, I was like, man, I just, I don't know if I can vote for Donald Trump, but I can't vote for Hillary Clinton.
I was like, it's kind of like, I gotta.
Vote for Donald Trump.
Because at the time, I had seen the documentary on how Donald Trump, and this is true, he basically destroyed the USFL.
And I was pissed off at him for that because I was like, oh my gosh, this league had an opportunity to form and he came in and just completely destroyed it with what he was trying to do.
And he was a businessman trying to take something that can compete with the NFL and it destroyed the league.
So I didn't like that about him.
I didn't know a ton of other stuff, but I was like, he can't be serious.
He's just running for popularity, like, just to get more viewers on The Apprentice or launch his next show, right?
I didn't think he was serious like you did.
Yeah, I didn't either.
And then I was like, well, I can't vote for Hillary because I'm not a Democrat and I hate Hillary, so I'll vote for Donald Trump.
I was like, I just didn't realize we were going to come down to this.
I thought Ted Cruz or somebody else would step up, and nobody did.
You didn't realize he'd be the best friend to Christians ever of any president ever.
I had no idea he would do such a good job.
And he doesn't even know why.
He said, okay, these people are good to me, I'll be good back to them.
Right.
I mean, unbelievably conservative in some areas.
Yeah.
And that's why they want to say, you know, the statement on the bus, grab you by the whatever, and you know, that stuff.
Which is impractical.
They want to hold that against him.
Well, yeah, it makes no sense.
There's no handle.
I don't know what the technique would be.
No, you want to go, I don't think you've been grabbing those.
What are you, fish hooking?
I mean, oh my goodness.
What locker room are you in?
Speaking of which...
Romans 12.2 has been given an entirely new meaning by one progressive-minded church.
Either of you have any questions for Miss Pentecost?
Oh, thank you!
Yeah, maybe she'll let you borrow it.
When you're older, when you're allowed to wear makeup, we follow a God who calls us to not conform to things of this world.
And it's so cool that we serve a God that calls us to continue to grow and continue to change into something new, and to not be bound by the ways that the world confines us sometimes, that we're supposed to live differently.
Oh boy.
Well.
Wow.
I'd probably go to Mug Club.
Want to go to Mug Club?
Yeah.
Alright, well, share the show.
And yeah, thank you for tuning in.
We greatly appreciate it.
I still use the word tuning in like it's 1975, because I don't know words.
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