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May 5, 2022 - Louder with Crowder

02:08:59

LIVE COVERAGE: Amber Heard Testifies Against Johnny Depp! | Louder with Crowder

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	🎵 Outro Music 🎵 Viewer discretion is advised.
	Bad girls, what you gonna do when they come for you?
	Bad girls, bad girls, what you gonna do?
	What you gonna do when they come for you?
	Bad girls, bad girls, what you gonna do?
	What you gonna do when they come for you?
	Feminist Cops is filmed on location with the brave, strong women of law enforcement.
	All suspects are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law.
	315, confirm suspect is in 302, over.
	Alright, so we got two warrants out for this guy.
	This guy is arresting, he's not coming out, so we're gonna have to extract him.
	So, yeah.
	315 correction suspect is in 301.
	Over.
	Bad girls, bad girls, whatcha gonna do?
	What you gonna do when they come for you?
	You're a strange animal, that's what I know You're a strange animal, you're a strange animal
	You're a strange animal, how come you're so far away?
	I'm gonna feed you to the wolves You're a strange animal, you're a strange animal
	Mmm, wow, that tastes delicious.
	Wow, that tastes delicious.
	And it tastes delicious because I'm not a sociopath, so I can enjoy things.
	We'll be talking about Amber Heard quite a bit today.
	Right now, is she not on the stand?
	Okay, she's not on the stand exactly right now.
	Are they in recess?
	I think so.
	A lot of you have asked us to discuss Amber Heard a little bit more, and many of you say that you don't want to see her face, her pretty but horrible evil face.
	Here's why we're going to be doing Quite a bit of live streaming on Amber Heard later.
	We're going to get to Joe Biden first, former Vice President Joe Biden, and him referring to you as extremists, right?
	Everyone who's pro-life, everyone who actually supports the idea of abortion rights going back to the States.
	Which brings my question of the day before Amber Heard.
	We'll have some more questions later.
	Who do you think is the most extreme political group in the United States?
	Is it far-right?
	Is it far-left?
	Is it far-libertarian?
	Who just want to smoke weed and trade Bitcoin on their couch?
	I don't know.
	The point is we all have our thing.
	But I do think it's important, this Amber Heard, this is kind of a landmark case because I was very surprised to see that the people least tolerant of the shenanigans are women, particularly women who've been abused.
	If you run a search on Amber Heard and abuse victims right now, you will see many abuse victims speaking out saying that this does not seem to be someone who is a victim of abuse.
	And at the very least, we know she is an abuser as well.
	Maybe Amber Heard was abused.
	We don't know.
	It doesn't look like it, but we certainly know that she was an abuser.
	That was admitted yesterday.
	That she physically abused Johnny Depp.
	I'm not even a fan of Johnny Depp!
	But the guy had the crap kicked out of him by a woman multiple times.
	No one is arguing that.
	It's just, did Johnny Depp ever retaliate?
	That's a difficult standard to have in a society, and expecting men and women to coexist.
	Again, it's not, do we have laws?
	It's, are the laws applied equally?
	And we know that they often aren't, with hot chicks.
	Before we get to the rest of that, I don't know what's going to happen if they'll get us with copyright.
	You'll keep him posted, right, Togan Owen?
	Because sometimes they do that.
	If we get booted here on YouTube, we're on Rumble, and every Monday through Thursday, 8—sorry, 8—every Monday through Thursday, 10 a.m.
	Eastern, Rumble or Mug Club.
	We'll go to Mug Club and take your chats here today and do a little bit more livestreaming of Amber Heard.
	They are telling me we're going to have to play a drinking game as we livestream.
	It's early, but it's Cinco de Mayo.
	Relapse.
	Yep.
	There you go.
	You just had something in a plastic baggie.
	Please tell me it was a mint.
	It was a mustache.
	Okay.
	I nixed it and it's off my face now and I'm not happy about it.
	Was it an accident?
	Yeah.
	All right, but I didn't introduce him.
	Hold on.
	Let me get to you because first we have to introduce the star.
	Gerald A. is not here.
	He's just had a child.
	So Gerald B., how are you?
	You know what?
	I never thought I'd say it.
	I miss Gerald A. a little bit.
	I really do.
	I gotta be honest.
	Gerald B., I don't mean to offend you, just not as good.
	No, Gerald B. just takes it.
	That's the problem.
	There's a difference between being a whipping post, being a good sport like Gerald A., and just, Gerald B. almost seems to enjoy it.
	Almost seems to avail himself to whatever it is you want to provide.
	He really just gives it.
	Well, no, he doesn't give anything.
	But he does receive.
	He takes.
	Yes.
	You know what?
	It feels good to give, Gerald B. Don't just be a taker.
	We'll get Gerald A. back in next week.
	Yeah, one day.
	By the way, you hear this voice, you know he's the quickest wit in the West.
	He'll be in Springfield, Missouri, Lincoln, Nebraska this week, and you can go to loudmouthcredit.com slash tour to book tickets.
	Dave Landau, how are you, sir?
	Ahoy!
	Good, good enough.
	Obviously I'm Team Depp.
	I see I'm so out of touch, I thought we were still Werewolf or Vampire, is that not?
	Yes.
	I nicked my mustache last night and I'm very obsessed.
	Now I gotta regrow it from scratch.
	Yeah.
	I'm regrowing it.
	Or leave in the comments if you think I should or shouldn't.
	Yeah.
	I think the comments shouldn't.
	Shouldn't?
	I liked it.
	Did your wife like it?
	Uh, yeah.
	Really?
	I guess?
	I don't... well, okay.
	That means there wasn't a conversation.
	Well, it's more just like, I'll live with that.
	Yes, exactly.
	I mean, maybe.
	Right.
	That's... well, that's what most wives do.
	They just... I looked up Tom Selleck and Burt Reynolds without a mustache yesterday, and it's like, it's just... No.
	Not okay.
	Don't even try and search that with Wilford Brimley.
	It's just a lemon party.
	Now!
	Doesn't make sense.
	Don't search Lemon Party.
	Don't search Wilford Brimpley.
	None of this is good.
	So before we move on here to former Vice President Joe Biden, let me show you what happened yesterday.
	And this is the moment.
	This is the moment yesterday.
	Amber Heard was testifying.
	She's testifying today.
	And I think it's an important character study in a sociopath.
	We might even want to bring in Kevin later, who's a PhD candidate in psychology.
	I'm a sociopath.
	Or at least a narcissist.
	Yesterday she said something that I think was maybe lost on most people, and it shocked me when I heard it, and I think it's the primary problem with third-wave feminism and condemning men for toxic masculinity and wanting it both ways.
	See if you can catch the terrifying part.
	Before I know it, he starts crying.
	Now.
	And you know, like, I've never seen an adult man cry.
	I didn't even really see my dad cry at my grandma's funeral.
	You know, it's just, it's weird.
	And he's crying.
	It's weird.
	So hold on, let me get this straight.
	Why can't you sit on the stand while you're crying?
	Well, there's no self-awareness.
	She's trying to emulate what she has seen as human emotions right now.
	And she doesn't realize that you shouldn't say a man crying is weird.
	So let me be clear about this.
	We say toxic masculinity.
	You shouldn't be aggressive.
	You shouldn't be a type A personality.
	You shouldn't take control.
	You shouldn't exhibit, necessarily, leadership qualities.
	These are bad things.
	This is toxic masculinity.
	You need to be open with your emotions.
	Okay.
	Then, if you cry, it's weird.
	If you yell, it's abuse.
	If you hit a cabinet, it's abuse.
	If you cry, it's weird.
	What is someone like Johnny Depp supposed to do?
	What is the man in your life supposed to do?
	I know not all women feel this way, but there are a lot of women who use it against them.
	Come on, all of us have had a woman use it against you when you cry.
	I remember being in a relationship where they said, you know, you shouldn't yell, you shouldn't get mad, that's disguising your emotions.
	Vulnerability is... and then I cried and they were like, bitch!
	I was like, I can't believe this!
	Well, it's not my fault.
	It just happens during sex.
	Yes!
	Usually after.
	Usually her.
	During, after, before.
	And then I just cry because I'm wondering why it always happens.
	I'm vexed.
	I just can't figure it out.
	So what is a guy supposed to cry?
	So this is why men don't cry.
	It's not because men don't think it's acceptable to cry.
	I've always said there are acceptable times to cry.
	You can't cry all the time.
	You can't be a crybaby.
	Mostly unacceptable.
	Mostly unacceptable.
	Mostly.
	But certainly not in the realm of a relationship or a death in the family.
	In other words, it shouldn't be weird for a man to cry.
	But if a man cries, it's used against him.
	We also tell men, hey, get help.
	Don't be afraid to get help.
	Go and get help.
	It's brave to take that step.
	Unless you have someone who wants to take half your stuff, like Amber Heard, in which case, any help that you've ever sought out is now on display for the whole world to see.
	Right?
	Your doctor-patient confidentiality goes away in a civil case with a divorce if a woman's trying to use it against you.
	So, if Johnny Depp wanted to protect himself, rather than do what is expected of him in today's anti-masculine society, is not get help, So there's no record of it.
	Just say, there's nothing wrong with me.
	And never cry.
	And keep it bottled up.
	And then die much younger than women.
	That's why life expectancy is what it is.
	That's what he should have done if he wanted to protect himself.
	This, we need to pick a lane.
	And that's why... Apply beers for men.
	Yes.
	Except for, uh, well, the Bruce Willis did those wine cooler commercials.
	Yeah, that's true.
	He did.
	Yeah.
	Well, and look what happened to him.
	It's true.
	He needs an earpiece because he can't even remember where he is.
	Pours orange juice in his cereal.
	Now, before we go to Amber Heard, I've done that.
	Put oranges in your cereal.
	I've done that.
	I've done that.
	And I've had to use water, but that had nothing to do with confusion.
	No.
	I just didn't have no milk.
	And Captain, you ever had Captain Crunch dry?
	Well, it's not dry if there's water.
	No, but I mean, if you haven't, if you don't use water.
	If you don't use water.
	That's why you gotta use water.
	Yeah.
	That's my point.
	Right.
	Yeah, it's like sandpaper.
	Oh yeah, you might as well be eating bullets.
	Yes.
	I mean, they still taste good.
	I don't know if bullets taste- Did you know you can season meat with gunpowder?
	I don't know.
	One day I'd like to find out how bullets taste.
	I think we all would.
	Certainly right now.
	So.
	Lake and Nebraska, Springfield, Missouri- Will you pride my funeral?
	I don't want to be weird.
	Imagine if you're sitting there crying, if Dave tastes a 380, and we're sitting there at his funeral, and if we start crying, Amber goes, that's weird.
	Yeah, I remember when I was crying at every funeral, I always had an uncle come up to me and was like, stop being so weird.
	Stop being weird.
	This is ridiculous.
	Come on.
	You're a step-uncle.
	The principle's the same.
	Yeah.
	When my son's grandfather died, he was like four.
	I was like, listen.
	Stop being weird.
	Yeah.
	It's ridiculous.
	Well, you know what?
	He'll grow up to be a better man.
	Well, yeah.
	You have to make sure you bottle it up.
	Mm-hmm.
	And that's it.
	That's it.
	Bottle it up, and don't let your wife know.
	That's what I do.
	Yep.
	That's what men do.
	Lesson learned, ladies!
	You've made us this way!
	The Amber Herds of the world!
	Boy!
	Boy, isn't it wonderful that this was the ambassador for the Me Too movement?
	There you go!
	We said chickens would come home to roost.
	Here we are.
	Now, speaking of chickens coming home to roost, I don't know if you remember this.
	We're going to talk about Biden's recent comments about all of you being extremists.
	So I'll try and get through this relatively quickly so we can get to Amber Heard.
	Guys in the control room, let me know what she's doing, how she's lying, how bad her acting is.
	Hopefully she gets a Razzie.
	But Joe, former Vice President Joe Biden now is referring to all of you as extremists for simply holding a view that the majority of Americans hold.
	That being said, this is the playbook from the left, right?
	They always play themselves up to be Captain Unity.
	They call for civility when they feel as though they're the ones being under attack, and then that goes out the window once they don't get their way.
	Like children, or Amber Heard, or feminists, but I repeat myself, here we go back to Captain Unity with the most votes ever of any president, wildly popular, 81 million.
	Let's see.
	For all those of you who voted for President Trump, I understand the disappointment tonight.
	I've lost a couple times myself.
	But now, let's give each other a chance.
	It's time to put away the harsh rhetoric, lower the temperature, see each other again, listen to each other again.
	And to make progress, we have to stop treating our opponents as our enemies.
	They are not our enemies.
	They're Americans.
	They're Americans.
	Well, that's nice.
	It seems like he really does want what's good for the whole country.
	Well, yeah, no, right.
	I can definitely see where the 81 million votes came from.
	But also, you have to remember he's a complete piece of shit who calls his opponents political extremists.
	So it's a yin and yang.
	Oh, right.
	Yep.
	For example, it's one of those things.
	He's weird.
	Both things can be true.
	Or in this case, one is a lie and one is true.
	True.
	Right.
	Who's on first?
	Not him.
	He doesn't know what first is.
	He can't count to one.
	So, here's an example of what he just said about Republicans.
	I believe this was yesterday, you know, to not vilify your opponents.
	They're Americans!
	This is about a lot more than abortion.
	The idea that somehow there is an inherent right, that there is no right of privacy, that there is no right... Remember the debate we had, you don't remember, but we had a debate about... You don't remember.
	Griswold versus Connecticut.
	There'd been a law saying a married couple Could not purchase birth control in the privacy of their own bedroom and use it.
	Well, that got struck down.
	Griswold was thought to be a bad decision by Borken.
	My guess is the guy's on the Supreme Court now.
	What happens if you have a state change the law saying that children who are LGBTQ can't be in classrooms with other children?
	Is that legit under the way the decision is written?
	What are the next things that are going to be attacked?
	Because this MAGA crowd is really the most extreme political organization that's existed in American history.
	In recent American history.
	Come on, Joe, there's good people on both sides.
	You would think so!
	MAGA, what he means is, you know, the half that voted to, you know, fewer votes in the most free and fair election of all time, who voted for Donald Trump.
	I guess they didn't learn from the basket of deplorables.
	What?
	LGBTQ kids won't be able to be in schools?
	No, no, no.
	Just public school teachers.
	But I don't understand.
	Even the woman behind him is like, is this?
	Oh, God.
	Yeah, is this?
	This is the leader of the free world?
	Is this really what we're doing?
	Ah, for crying out loud.
	Can we please just audit the voting machines?
	No?
	Okay.
	Does anyone smell shit?
	So let me ask you this.
	While we're talking about extremists on abortion, look, Roe v. Wade, we've done a whole segment on this, okay?
	We did a whole show on this.
	If you don't know, the gaslighting works on me!
	Where sometimes I have to go back and go, wait, hold on a second, maybe I'm missing something.
	No, no, Roe v. Wade, if it were to be overturned, which it likely will, just means that states can place restrictions on abortions in the first trimester, which they can't do right now.
	And other states can not.
	It will allow states to do what they want on abortion.
	I'm going, yeah, okay, that's it.
	Oh, alright, okay.
	So you're lying, but there's, the lying is, I'm telling you it works on me sometimes, where I have to second-guess myself.
	That's why we make all references available at loudearthcracker.com.
	You can click the link in the description.
	So, let me ask you this.
	Knowing the policy, what is more extreme?
	You can take the left, of course, you can take Antifa, you can take Black Lives Matter, and then let's say you take the January 6th insurrectionists.
	Eh, okay.
	You know what?
	The scales of asshole?
	I would still say they lean heavily in one direction.
	But let's look at abortion right now.
	Let's look at the extremism, which he is accusing half the country of being.
	During the 2020 election, there were only two Democratic candidates, two, who said they supported abortion restrictions after 24 weeks.
	That's six months.
	I don't know if we have that number on the earliest born baby now, but I'm pretty sure it's right around that number.
	It's somewhere between 23 and 25 weeks.
	The argument of viability, or whether it's a life, it doesn't matter to them.
	Only two Democrat candidates supported abortion restrictions in the third trimester.
	The fringe with the Democrat is people who don't believe in abortion up until and including birth.
	There are two out of all Democratic candidates.
	It was 21 weeks and 5 days.
	21 weeks and 5 days.
	Wow.
	Dang.
	And they don't believe you should place restrictions after 24 weeks.
	Just to keep that in context, because we're going to come back to it.
	What about HR 370, 3755, which was, I think was introduced last year by Judy Chu.
	I don't choo choo choose you.
	It would allow abortion up until birth.
	Let me show you what the bill would have been.
	Again, while we're talking about extremists, a prohibition on abortion after fetal viability when, in the good faith medical judgment of the treating health care provider, continuation of the pregnancy would pose a risk to the pregnant patient's life or health.
	What this bill is saying is there should be No allowance for restrictions on abortions even after viability.
	Acknowledging viability, you still can't place any restrictions on it.
	Up until birth.
	I think that's pretty extreme.
	I think it's more extreme than a heartbeat bill.
	That's my opinion.
	I would love to hear the opinion of you if you're, particularly those who are pro-abortion.
	Because I think Dave has a very reasoned view on it.
	I don't agree with... Dave and I don't agree on it, but Dave and I both agree that up until and including nine months is extreme.
	That's the entire Democratic Party except for two people.
	Seems a bit much.
	Here's something else that is pretty funny from the same bill.
	This is what they wrote.
	They can't trip over their own fake dicks.
	The terms women and wimp- woman and women are used in this bill to reflect the identity of the majority of people
	targeted and affected by restrictions on abortion services, and to address squarely the targeted restrictions on
	abortion which are rooted in misogyny.
	However, access to abortion services is critical to the health of every person capable of becoming pregnant.
	So women?
	Is that how that goes?
	Don't be obtuse, Dave.
	Oh, I'm sorry.
	Men and women.
	Yes, anyone who can get- Hey, did we get a fact check on this?
	As far as I know, no man has been- has become pregnant and given birth.
	I don't know if there's a sixth day science experiment.
	Uh, I don't know if you've seen the cartoon picture on your phone.
	Well, you know, okay, Arnold doesn't count.
	And by the way, Danny DeVito was a horribly absent father.
	Yeah, he really was.
	Yeah, see that?
	That's what we put out there.
	They have to put this in a bill.
	That's just me after I drink something bubbly.
	Yes.
	They have to put in the bill, health of every person capable of becoming pregnant.
	So on one side you have people saying, yeah, the MAGA extremists, alright, give it over to the states.
	And on the other side, you have all Democrats except for two saying abortion up until nine months and including births for not just women but any pregnant persons.
	Holy shit!
	Really?
	You don't get to use the extremist card anymore.
	You don't even get to use it for the militiamen who are living in the woods eating tree bark.
	It's still not as extreme.
	It's not even close!
	Well, you can't win.
	Not only can you not win, I shouldn't say that, you can't have a conversation because you hit a dead end anywhere you go.
	So what about the men that can get pregnant?
	Was that in Roe v. Wade?
	Did they bring that up in court?
	Well, what about... Wade is a guy's name?
	Yeah, huh?
	What if there was a Wade who got pregnant?
	Is there a Wade who got pregnant?
	I'm just saying, what if?
	Oh, I mean, Wade sounds like- Wade does definitely not sound like the name of a man who gets pregnant.
	No, it doesn't.
	No, it doesn't.
	The only less pregnant male name would be Wyatt.
	Yes, yeah, that's not- yeah, there's- it's too manly.
	No.
	It's, uh- A Skyler.
	A Skyler might- Skyler might get pregnant.
	Pregnant man.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	You'd be like, that's- I'm not surprised.
	Maybe, like, a Gunner?
	Yeah, possibly.
	Unless he's, like, from Sweden.
	But the point is, you know, there are girly names.
	Don't use girly names.
	So, Harold.
	Harold now, not in the 70s.
	Is there a Carol for men?
	Oh, Carol O'Connor.
	Oh, that's right!
	There used to be an Irish name for men, yeah.
	Okay.
	Now, not so much.
	No, no, I can't imagine.
	I mean, whoever, if you name your kid Carol, you might as well name them Please Kick My Ass.
	Now, he cites...
	Griswold versus Connecticut, right?
	That's what led to kind of Supreme Court Roe v. Wade.
	A lot of people have cited this.
	We have the references available.
	Look, he mentions the privacy issue of the Constitution.
	First, let me clarify this.
	There is no right to privacy in the Constitution.
	Okay?
	Let's just be clear about that.
	Now, that's not saying that you do not have the right to privacy in certain instances.
	That's not what I'm arguing.
	But for them to say abortion is a constitutional right because privacy is a constitutional right when neither one of them are.
	Here's the thing.
	It's not a privacy issue when they want to, when you look at the bills that they propose.
	So in other words, right now they're saying it's bad law, the privacy argument, so that states cannot regulate abortion, right?
	That's the argument from the right.
	For the left to say, well, the privacy issue makes abortion a constitutional right, and by the way, we acknowledge viability, like the bill I just told you about from Ms.
	Chu, and you should still be able to kill them anyway.
	Look, you don't have the right Okay, let me give you an example of a right to privacy.
	You have the right, uh, there's patient-doctor confidentiality, right?
	Same thing with lawyer-client confidentiality.
	Of course, that goes out the window if, uh, you know, you have someone who wants to take, if Amber Heard wants to take half your stuff.
	Then you have to be filleted open for the world to see, as we're seeing right now.
	But that goes both ways.
	There's an instance where you have the right to privacy.
	The Constitution doesn't have a broad, overreaching right to privacy.
	That being said, you don't have the right to privately murder somebody.
	Now, I know not everyone is pro-life and I understand that.
	However, from their own bill, they have acknowledged that this is a person because they've said no restrictions after viability.
	I don't think viability is a valid argument.
	Because a one and a half year old, an eight month old is not viable.
	It's just inside the womb, outside the womb.
	You're just talking about location difference at that point.
	It's semantics.
	But they've always argued viability.
	And now they have said, even at the point of viability, you have the right to terminate it.
	You don't have the right to privately commit murder.
	I do believe that aborting a six, seven, eight month baby is murder.
	But they do.
	So it doesn't matter what I say.
	They do.
	That's a slippery slope!
	Remember how back in the day I said it was a slippery slope when we were talking about same-sex marriage, when we were talking about the idea that men and women were fundamentally interchangeable?
	Regardless of where you lined up on that, I just said it opens the door here that we no longer have the roles of male, female in society, that really men and women are not, and now here we are, fundamentally interchangeable.
	When we said, hey, look, hold on a second, you're just talking about people identifying however they want on their identification, well, what's going to happen with sports?
	They said, well, no, hold on a second, that's just, come on, you're just fearmongering.
	Well, here we are.
	If they say you have the right to privacy as it applies to a crime, like murder, like theft, where does that go?
	If they had their way.
	It's a crappy argument.
	It's an extremist argument.
	And even worse, your former vice president, most popular former vice president ever, goes into a Humanities 101 logical fallacy to make his point.
	And this one today is the red herring.
	You guys can run a search on this afterwards.
	It's a very common logical fallacy.
	It's where you bring up something that's largely irrelevant to try and take the argument somewhere where you feel more comfortable, effectively.
	Biden, there, is creating a red herring by saying, you may not remember this in the clip, he just said, what about LGBTQ children?
	They could be kicked out of classrooms.
	Hold on!
	Wait!
	Just so I'm clear that I'm understanding this, if states have the right To regulate abortion as they see fit in their state, meaning Texas can have a heartbeat bill and Colorado can have abortion up until birth, including birth period, and the federal government doesn't have it under its jurisdiction.
	If that happens, gay boys won't be allowed in classrooms?
	Yep.
	Is there any way to follow this?
	Nope.
	Look, of course, they're clearly protected under the Equal Protection Clause.
	What do they mean though by gay, like, gay kids aren't, what?
	Drag, well.
	Like children?
	Like, well, you know, they're the ones who put on the children drag shows, so that's nice.
	But I'm just wondering, he's talking about little kids, right?
	Just to be clear.
	Yes.
	For everybody listening.
	Not teenagers, not, he's talking about little kids.
	Yeah.
	The ones he likes.
	Yeah.
	So there's not really... Like Applejack's.
	He eats what he likes.
	But it's not... Are they really gay?
	Or are they just silly at that age?
	Yeah, that's a good point.
	You know, sometimes they're just a little... All little kids say gay stuff.
	They're asexual.
	Yes.
	When I was a young kid, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up.
	And because I saw that my mom and dad lived together and I roomed with my brother, and then I saw teenagers didn't room together anymore, I was like, well, I really like being his roommate.
	I want to be his roommate forever.
	So I said, when I grow up, I want to be a woman so I can marry Jordan and share the same room forever.
	Well, yeah, and now they'd be like, well, we're gonna make that happen.
	Right.
	I mean, my mom did put me on birth control, so she was an early adopter.
	Well, of course.
	I've been wearing the birth control patch since I was six.
	She told me they were Smarties.
	Fun fact!
	Smarties, as you know them here in the United States, in Canada, Smarties are just like a generic M&M.
	Really?
	And what you know as Smarties, a little like kind of sugar tarts, they're known as Rockets.
	In Canada?
	In Canada.
	It's a silly place.
	What's wrong with you guys?
	Oh, there's a lot wrong with us.
	Have you seen our blackface Prime Minister and the Queen in our money?
	Well, I've seen that, so yes.
	Have you seen our military?
	I've seen your gold coins.
	Yes.
	That you're supposed to somehow give to a stripper.
	Yeah.
	Loonies and Toonies.
	They have to wear diapers.
	That's true.
	Toonies are silly.
	Yeah, they are.
	That's a $2 one.
	We're the only country, Canada, we have the loonie, which is a single dollar coin, and it's because there's a loon, the bird, on the loonie.
	That's what they called it.
	Then they created a $2 coin, which looks like a giant peso, and they said, what do we call it?
	I know!
	The toonie!
	We're a country so silly that our currency is a pun.
	It also is loony toony.
	Yes, I know!
	How did that make it through any kind of legislature?
	Everyone's like, that's perfect.
	That's exactly what we need to put us back on the map.
	God save the queen.
	People think we're nothing more than America's hat?
	We'll show them with our plays on words slash currency.
	It's the toony standard.
	This is great here.
	So look, LGBT children going back to Biden, they're clearly protected under the Equal Protection Clause.
	Let me read this for me.
	No state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States.
	This has nothing to do with the Due Process Clause.
	Here's something else that I want to move on to really quickly because Amber Heard isn't on, but there's another person, Olivia Wilde, who is- Newton-John?
	Olivia Newton-John is.
	She was hot.
	She was quite the dish.
	Yeah.
	Am I allowed to say that or is that toxic masculinity?
	It's toxic masculinity.
	Can we all say that Olivia Newton-John was pretty?
	Uh, I believe you have to use other terms.
	And I thought that she was hot as good Sandy more than bad Sandy.
	Yeah.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	I kinda like bad Sandy.
	Well, there's a surprise.
	Bad Sandy.
	So, we know, look, this is one thing too where he talks about, talks about extremism.
	The left wants to create an echo, and I want to get through this pretty, but you look at Twitter, you look at how they responded on Twitter with Elon Musk.
	You look at what they're doing on social media, big tech.
	We know that the left is Opposed to hearing any views with those they disagree with.
	So here's a poll we have for you.
	Nearly one quarter, 24% of Democrats said they blocked, unfriended, or stopped following someone on social media after the election because of their political posts on social media.
	Fewer than 1 in 10, this means 9% of Republicans, reported doing the same.
	Look!
	Former Vice President Biden, he wants the Supreme Court to be an echo chamber.
	He wants the state legislature to be an echo chamber.
	He wants Twitter to be an echo chamber.
	They want Spotify to be an echo chamber.
	When Jen Psaki is saying we want them to do more to get rid of misinformation, who determines misinformation?
	The Democrats in power.
	What's crazy to me is when you see those on the left demanding policies and actions that will continue, that can only result in an echo chamber, and then bitch about an echo chamber to you and say they need more oversight over big tech companies.
	This is the problem that we run into.
	They're extremists.
	Not really.
	You're in such an echo chamber that only two members of your party thought that once a baby is viable outside of the womb, you still shouldn't stick forceps in its head.
	You've been in an echo chamber, and you're trying to put everyone else in these same silos, and then bitching about it.
	Someone wants to call me an extremist?
	Okay, fine.
	I guess I'm an extremist.
	Go ahead.
	Slap that label on me.
	Put me on your watch list.
	It's true.
	It's true.
	I believe that states have the rights.
	If I had my way, I think that abortion should largely be outlawed, certainly the way that it's practiced across the country.
	But you know what?
	I'll take it going to the states.
	Guess I'm an extremist.
	Hit me for treason.
	How about the rest of you?
	Hands up.
	Hands up.
	Comment.
	Who's an extremist?
	That you shouldn't kill a baby?
	Yeah.
	Like, an out-of-the-womb nine-month?
	Well, even in the womb seven months.
	I would say, uh, I would say, yeah, you probably shouldn't do that.
	Okay, well, there you go.
	Extremist.
	All of us.
	It's like a 90's skateboarding advertisement.
	Extreme!
	You should be able to choose by then, you're not picking a restaurant.
	Have you seen how wide my pant legs are?
	Extreme!
	At Sears!
	Yes, let's go chase tornadoes.
	Extreme!
	Finger of God.
	This super soaker has two streams.
	It's extreme!
	The bigger those got, the worse they were.
	Yeah, I know.
	The original Super Soaker?
	Oh, you could kill someone with that spray.
	It lasted forever because it was so concentrated.
	Yeah.
	It was like being in a submarine with a leak.
	It just... Oh, it's great.
	And then they just kept adding stuff to it and you're like, this is stupid.
	It breaks and it leaks.
	I don't want a backpack.
	No, I don't need to carry all this stuff.
	Yeah.
	All I knew was it was good for me to know who had the backpack super soaker because I could hit them first because I knew their dad was rich.
	Yeah, of course, that's true.
	It was like $200.
	Yeah, and then steal their, uh, what was that little car that my parents would never buy me?
	Power wheels.
	Oh, yeah.
	Yeah.
	I would just look at my friends drive those and never have one.
	Yeah, well, you can also just steal them, or at least the hubcaps.
	Yeah, well, that's why my son got a Corvette and a Cadillac.
	Well, there's a Mattel ad you won't see.
	In Detroit, a Power Wheels carjacking.
	Oh yeah, it will happen.
	What am I, I'm just on cinder blocks, what happened?
	Hey, it does kind of smell in here still.
	I was going to say, it does.
	It does stink.
	It does.
	I don't know if it's leftover.
	There's still an odor.
	You know what, I think that it's going to be time to, people know that we've had someone pooping in the office, a copycat pooper from Amber Heard, and I think it's time to put on my detective hat.
	Oh my word.
	Alright.
	Now Dave, you've been following us as well.
	I have been.
	Okay.
	We've had someone who's been emulating Amber Heard as a poppycat, copycat, poopycat, pooper, poopycat, here in the office.
	It began with a mug, then it was on our chair, and now, as you see, clearly under my hat.
	Which, by the way, we won't get that deposit back.
	This is a rental.
	And I had my suspicions in the office, and many of you at Mug Club have had your suspicions and submitted them.
	But I believe that we've been wrong all along.
	Oh?
	In assuming that the pooper was amongst us.
	And, dare I say, assuming that the pooper was a copycat.
	That's foreshadowing.
	I'm like Steinbeck.
	Here's the thing.
	I, of course, first suspected Brendan, because he is Very little self-control, and seems to find these things funny due to a sophomoric sense of humor.
	But, had to rule that out, the moment that I saw, the fecal transplant that we had on Monday was littered with payday bars!
	And as you well know, Dave... Allergic to peanuts.
	Allergic to peanuts.
	There aren't enough EpiPens in the world.
	So my suspicions then moved... to Maximus!
	For he had both The opportunity and the motivation.
	However, realizing that he's a 4'7 Mexican, the volume of the fecal matter was far too much to have been expelled from his orifice.
	That's very true.
	And that led me to a very likely suspect.
	You yourself, Dave!
	Well... Everybody knows that I've been covering for you for years as you take your bathroom break as we go to YouTube, and it's always more than an enlarged prostate, but often a mud pie.
	Well, it's true.
	And believe me, it's not solid the way that it's been with- around the office.
	That's what got you off the hook.
	I know.
	There is far too much of a shape to this poop.
	IBS doesn't- It's bordering on polygonal.
	Yes.
	There's no, uh, rice hold.
	And then naturally, of course, uh, suspect, uh, because yesterday we had Douglas Murray, who was sitting in that very chair.
	I suspected him!
	But then I realized that was only my internalized homophobia due to Tokunawan's constant jokes about Lou Sphincter.
	I really thought he was the poop-traitor.
	I know.
	No, I think something fell out of his pant leg when he got out of his car.
	But there's one thing that we missed all along, Dave.
	Yes?
	And it stood out at me.
	Go on.
	Like your faulty shaven mustache, I noticed a hair in this poop itself!
	What?
	No way.
	Knowing of course that this hair, thick and luscious, could not be Dave's.
	You're not capable of growing such a mustache.
	Doesn't have the testosterone.
	Capable.
	Apologies.
	I did.
	I did.
	There's only one in this office, and that was Thomas Finnegan.
	And I searched and found a DNA match.
	It is Thomas Finnegan's DNA.
	Mr. Finnegan, do you have something to tell me?
	It wasn't me.
	Take a look.
	Right here.
	Take a look.
	Take a look.
	I did it!
	You've been crapping in this office the whole time!
	No, no, it wasn't me.
	You think it's a funny joke and it's not!
	You have no proof.
	Do we have any proof, Tim?
	Actually, yeah, I think we do.
	This chemo wig fell off.
	Oh my goodness.
	It was Amber Heard all along.
	You've been dating Amber Heard?
	She's as innocent as the fallen snow.
	Dammit!
	Thomas Finnegan!
	She has you under her tread!
	Stop standing up for her!
	No!
	No!
	I love her!
	I love her!
	That was far too short of a stinger.
	I got it.
	Bye.
	Please stop bringing Amber around the office.
	I know!
	She was here and we didn't even know it!
	Apologies, Finnegan.
	I was just feeling the slap.
	They may have worked together.
	Maybe he was just bringing it in in a Ziploc.
	Uh, I will need a towel.
	I didn't realize I spilled my whole mug.
	There's a whole mug spilled on the desk.
	Yes, a whole mug spilled on the desk.
	Are we going to Amber Heard now?
	I think we should go to Amber Heard.
	Okay, we're gonna go to Amber Heard again.
	The reason that we are discussing this is because it's a study in sociopathic behavior and misandry.
	We do right now have a problem.
	This is a rebound to the believe all women.
	We should believe some women.
	But everyone deserves their day in court.
	And right now it's not going very well for Amber Heard.
	So let's see what she- Oh, look!
	She decided to dress like the caretaker from The Orphanage.
	Well, I think we need to listen to an accusation.
	Yes.
	And then have due process.
	Yes, exactly.
	That's with anybody.
	Right.
	Unless it's painfully obvious and we're like, we all saw it.
	Yes, exactly.
	Like looking at Amber Heard's face.
	Really what's sad about it is it's like, you're an actress?
	I know!
	How many takes do you do?
	I know!
	Who's your coach, Bridget Nielsen?
	Right, it's really not good.
	Okay, let's see what she's saying right now.
	In New York.
	It's a fashion event, but it's just a major red carpet event.
	Sounds like hell.
	And you have to be invited, and it's kind of a thing.
	And we were invited that year, and I had already gone for the previous year or two.
	Oh no, we are going to play a drinking game?
	Oh my god.
	Any time there's an objection, any time she cries.
	Can I see it?
	Yeah, sorry about that.
	Bring it up again.
	Anytime she cries, anytime there's an appeal to sexism, anytime a movie is mentioned, or anytime Johnny Depp laughs.
	Is she promoting a new film?
	Finish the drink.
	If Johnny Depp laughs, we have to finish the drink?
	Yeah.
	And of course, since Dave is back, since he's been on the wagon for a long time, you'll just have to take a diuretic.
	That's fine.
	No.
	I can drink this tea right here.
	We'll call it tea.
	Yes.
	Yes.
	Opium tea.
	Yes.
	I too once fell under the spell of opium.
	Bet.
	It's not a drug if it's opium.
	That's what I've always- It comes from a leaf!
	Yes.
	Flower.
	The natural plant.
	It's like the coca leaf.
	Let's see what she says.
	So you'd make a point and then he would go on to a different accusation.
	But I remember that what started it is this accusation that I had been flirting at this event.
	We get back to the hotel room and Johnny shoves me and kind of grabs me by the collarbone area, like not really my neck, but top of my neck.
	Top of my, above my collarbone, below my neck.
	Top of your Amish scarf.
	Yes.
	I think at that point when we were still in the living room I shook him back.
	Right now she's living with Harrison Ford in witness.
	But I don't really recall too many specifics.
	I remember he threw a bottle at me.
	It missed me but broke the chandelier.
	That's pretty specific.
	That's pretty specific.
	And at some point... That's an angle of attack!
	I don't remember specifics but it ricocheted.
	You only remember bits and pieces of the most violent fight I've heard between a married couple so far.
	Johnny and I are in a struggle in the living room and he kind of like shoves me down on the sofa and I get up and I'm trying to get him off of me and he's just stronger than me.
	I don't know how else to describe it.
	And at some point, he just whacks me in the face.
	And I had not, at the time, been, like, I didn't, I think that was the first time I was like, is this a broken nose?
	At the time, I was unsure what that feeling was, but I suspected.
	Kind of like, well, now you're going to know what it's like to have a broken career.
	And other than that, I was relatively unscathed.
	But I remember other than that, that's such a okay talk about
	Trying to play coy I mean, I don't know what he threw a bottle and it bounced
	off and it broke the chandelier and he broke my nose But other than that, I was unscathed trying to present
	herself as beautiful and brave while also presenting herself as the victim. I'm sorry
	but drink And just so you can see, that is in fact Cinco de Mayo Cerveza, which is... By the way, you need to go to Dave's Chandeliers, where we hang them.
	Yes.
	Directly.
	A beer bottle's not gonna take down the line.
	They're mineral spirit bottle-proof.
	Yes.
	What are mineral spirits?
	I've heard that mentioned so many times in the... Do you know what mineral spirits are?
	I think you know I don't.
	Okay.
	I figured, you know, neither one of us are that cultured, but you did consume substances, I thought.
	I can't... maybe?
	I've had it, but I honestly have no idea off the top of my head what it is.
	Is it like Angostura Bitters?
	Can someone bring that up?
	I know you can light a fire with it.
	Turpentine, Turpentine Substitute, and Petroleum Spirits.
	I'm sorry, so it's gasoline?
	And they were drinking it?
	That's a nice mixer.
	Is that correct?
	Yes, I will have the gas- I will have the 87 octane old-fashioned.
	Yes, what kind of hotel rooms do you have?
	I'm going to need huffing rags and a chandelier.
	Yes, and don't forget my- Bottles for throwing.
	Don't forget our two diesel martini lunch.
	Yes.
	Let's see what she's saying here.
	Who are you filming those?
	In New York.
	Okay.
	And where was Mr. Depp at that time?
	Johnny was in L.A.
	at the time.
	Indoors, wearing sunglasses.
	And then eventually went on location for his movie, Black Mass, in Boston.
	He was at Hot Topic, looking at the wrap of bracelets, saying, I'll have all of them.
	Eventually, by May of 2014.
	No need for the receipts, I'm walking out with them.
	And what, if any, discussions or arguments did you have with Mr. Depp relating to James Franco?
	In that time frame of May 2014.
	Oh my God!
	That's a lie by face!
	Drink!
	Yeah.
	Because she has to think about her answer.
	It's a nightmare.
	Um...
	Well, if it's a nightmare, say it.
	I wanted to do this independent film.
	I... God!
	I liked the story.
	I liked the character.
	Was the character a raging bitch?
	It was!
	They saw a lot of me in that character!
	Hey Luna, can I have a beer?
	Guys, you guys are in charge of her!
	We have no idea what's going on!
	He's not even playing the drinking game, he just wants to be drunk.
	What's the over-under on Johnny Depp having a flask in that suit jacket?
	Hey, by the way, I think we can probably grab another channel that just has the stream going on.
	This is a network.
	There are channels on YouTube that have it going non-stop, so we don't have to wait for a commercial break.
	But just that, it was a nightmare.
	Here, let me just show you one thing.
	So, control room, pull up the James Franco clip of them in the elevator.
	Keep in mind, and this is where the lie gets built upon the lie and the lie and the lie, Amber Heard had to fire her, or she chose to fire her PR firm.
	Not a good idea in the middle of a case.
	Here's a big reason why.
	When, of course, it was alleged that she had cheated on Johnny Depp with James Franco, her attorney said they just happened to be in the same elevator together.
	Well, if you watch the tape, you can clearly see not only do they try and avoid the camera, but they sort of cuddle by putting their heads together, and they only go to the penthouse, which can only be reached by the person who lives in the penthouse, or the person has to be with them.
	James Franco was not getting off at any other floor.
	So they present an argument, And then, okay, you see the footage.
	Then they present another argument.
	Well, they were just friends, and Johnny Depp was paranoid.
	And so that becomes more clinical level of gaslighting.
	It's, well, we just happen to be in the same elevator.
	Yeah, but you went to the same place.
	Well, we're just friends.
	But you didn't say that you were friends.
	You said that you happened to be in the same elevator.
	And the story keeps changing if you haven't been following it since the beginning.
	So whenever they get that, you guys can bring it up.
	But let's hear her talking more.
	Look, she's making the face.
	Yeah, I just... I can't believe a Hollywood romance didn't work out.
	Oh no!
	She's a regular Rosa Parks!
	I got that, uh, video.
	I'm like, BITCH!
	SIT IN THE BACK OF THE PRIVATE LEARJET!
	NOW!
	Here they are, cuddling in the elevator.
	Oh yeah, here we go, let's bring this up.
	You can bring the music down a little bit.
	But this is, keep in mind, right?
	They just happen to be in the same elevator, was a legal argument.
	Only one floor is hit, the penthouse.
	She's in a robe, I believe this is three in the morning.
	Yeah, her and James Franco don't know each other.
	Yeah, that's a normal way to... That's how you... Yeah.
	It's good acting on both your parts, by the way.
	Yeah, exactly.
	He's just like, geez, Amber Heard, I didn't know that you were banging Elon Musk.
	So, if you keep having sex with Elon Musk, I'll never get you a part in my movie.
	If we go far back into the left, it's like we're not together.
	Yeah.
	By the way, when you zoom out, there's just Jay Baruchel masturbating.
	Yeah.
	I didn't want to be a sad sack or a worry wart.
	All right, let's see what she's lying about now.
	And I just look at him one more time, wanting to penetrate the monster to see the man I love underneath that.
	You wanted to be penetrated by his monster.
	And he tells me to hurry up again.
	Penetrating the monster.
	Who talks like this?
	No one.
	I walk away from him.
	My back is turned to him and I feel this.
	Does the record show that her back was in fact turned to the monster?
	In my back.
	Is it penetrative?
	It kicked me.
	In the back.
	Kicked me in the back?
	I fell to the floor.
	I caught myself on the floor and I just felt like I was looking at the Floor?
	Floor of the plane.
	You didn't feel like you were looking at the floor of the plane.
	I thought to myself, I don't know what to do.
	I think we should drink when Johnny's glasses come off.
	Alright.
	Drink when Johnny's glasses come off.
	Is that the rules?
	No, but that's a good one.
	You could hear a pin drop on that plane.
	You could feel the tension, but no one did anything.
	This didn't happen, probably.
	I just remember feeling so embarrassed.
	Nobody on the plane was like, could you stop kicking your wife?
	Alright, hold on a second.
	That's a crank.
	That's a cry also.
	She's using, by the way.
	She's using language that she believes she's... No one who is kicked in the back, on a plane, in front of people, abused, their first instinct is embarrassed.
	What she's trying to emulate is when people say, hey, a lot of rape victims feel shame afterwards, particularly if it's some kind of relationship where maybe things went too far and they feel as though they were guilted and they were blaming their outfit or were they... That is true and it's wrong for people to feel shame about that, but for her to say, I had the shit kicked out of me on an airplane in front of people, and I just felt ashamed and embarrassed.
	That's not a genuine emotion.
	She's trying to copy emotions she thinks she should feel.
	Yeah, and especially during the act of it, that's not how you feel.
	No, you get mad, you get scared.
	And you get, you're gonna get helped.
	Yes.
	There's no- I don't know who you were on the plane with, but anybody's gonna be like, dude, what are you doing?
	Yeah.
	There's no- I can't imagine.
	Even the pilot's probably looking back like, I think we should land this.
	Yeah, I think this is- I don't know if this certifies as an air emergency, but we don't have any marshals on here.
	Yeah, the guy who looks like he's in a band is kicking his wife.
	Um, and he continued to drink and then eventually, um, started howling like an animal and passed out in the bathroom with the door locked.
	Okay, he's just kind of laughing right there.
	Yeah, yeah, he just laughed.
	So, hold on a second.
	The way she told the story is this.
	He laughed, uh... Plainfield... Yeah, he did laugh.
	Yeah, he did.
	Oh, God.
	We need another beer for Steven.
	I think he mouth started howling There's a little too much frost but aside from that it's
	empty okay One of the pilots is like, is somebody howling back there?
	Yeah, it's just a guy who's just kicked his wife to the ground.
	He's now howling like a wolf.
	Jack Sparrow.
	Yeah.
	She wants us to believe that it was this.
	It was a She felt embarrassed.
	Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo How can that count for speculation?
	I'll sustain rejection.
	Son of a bitch.
	Let's go to Defendants 221.
	Guys, we need someone to sign that we have like three more drinks here and nothing to drink!
	Dave, what do you want to drink?
	Do you want a... Oh, I have something down here.
	I have some extra I can pour in.
	Now I just drank the foam.
	My day's ruined.
	But I mean, at this point, it might as well be pee every time this happens.
	Yes, exactly.
	By the way, he also peed on her in the middle of the plane, and no one did anything.
	He goes, you like it!
	She likes it!
	And she's like, why won't anyone do anything?
	He's like, we're not going to do anything.
	We're not human beings.
	Yes, there's Trump peeing on Russian prostitutes on the other side of the plane.
	It's nuts.
	It's like people who are just living their life with no accountability, like the left or like someone like Amber Heard, they just always overreach with a lie.
	Well, you have Johnny Depp who, like, he trashed a hotel in the 80s when he was young, which was a party.
	It wasn't him solo.
	Right.
	And then every woman who's ever dated him is like, yeah, he's not abusive.
	No.
	Well, it's like, you know what, Justin Bieber.
	Justin Bieber, when I've seen him recently, he was 14, he was 15, he did stupid things.
	He seems like a decent guy now.
	Yeah.
	Really, I don't have any hate for Justin Bieber.
	I used to think he was a dick.
	I'm like, what would happen if you were 15 and you had $500 million?
	Who was it?
	The guy from Lonely Island, SNL, said it perfectly.
	He's 19 years old and has $100 million.
	I can only imagine the trouble I would get in if I was 19 and had $100.
	Right, yeah, exactly.
	You know, you gotta give him a little bit of slack for being young.
	Yeah.
	You can't just be mad at somebody because they're doing the same dumb stuff you are, but have way more access to things.
	Though he's still wearing the same dumb things, Johnny Depp.
	Well, he's, well... You know why I think he's a decent man?
	Because he's very close friends with Alice Cooper, who is a supremely decent man.
	Well, he knows a lot of comics, and I know, uh, dude, a lot of people know him, and I've never heard bad things about Johnny Depp until now.
	The only thing that I will say is, uh, we were extras in the film The Secret Window, or my dad was.
	He was very nice, but he faked like he could speak French, and he can't.
	Yeah, that doesn't make him bad, but I do see that.
	It makes him want to be pretentious a little bit.
	Well, yeah, there's always a pretentious.
	All right.
	Speaking of pretentious, let's go back to The Nun.
	Have you ever met an actor that wasn't pretentious, though?
	Like, a good actor?
	Clint Eastwood.
	Have you met Clint Eastwood?
	Eric Roberts.
	Eric Roberts is awesome.
	He's a great actor.
	He's done crap, but he was not pretentious.
	I love Eric Roberts.
	Eric's cool as hell.
	Patrick Warburton.
	Yeah, I did meet Patrick Warburton.
	I met him too.
	No, but your point stands.
	Yeah.
	For the most part.
	Yeah.
	Well, Eric Roberts is just cool.
	He just says yes to everything.
	Right.
	He did my friend's movie on Christmas because it was the only day he wasn't working.
	And he goes, what do you want me to pay you?
	And he goes, I'd like an omelet.
	We should do that as an intro.
	I can't believe we haven't done a Pope of Greenwich Village.
	I did write a Pope of Greenwich Village one that I need to send in.
	I took my time.
	I took my time.
	We should do that as an intro.
	I can't believe we haven't done a Pope of Greenwich Village.
	I did write a Pope of Greenwich Village one that I need to send in because I just I'm
	like, I think we talked about it on air.
	Oh, I don't think you and I are the only two people who know that film.
	Really?
	Well, Ken does, for sure.
	Okay.
	But I'd like to know, well, Bryce probably does, but there's not a lot of people that know that movie.
	It's not great, but there are some great performances.
	I love that movie.
	I like it.
	Yeah, yeah.
	But there are some plot holes, for sure.
	It's definitely got way too long of shots.
	There's a lot of 80s issues with it, but I do love that film.
	You know who's gonna have issues when they're 80?
	This sociopath right here.
	here. Let's see what she has to say.
	Hey, we need some more beer.
	Oh, this is a tape of Johnny Depp howling like an animal.
	What it really means is he was moaning in pain.
	And hey, by the way, this is a guy who had an opiate addiction because he lost his finger.
	My point here that I'm making, you guys can listen, this isn't new, the him howling.
	Johnny Depp did it, I'm sorry.
	Yeah, he had an opiate addiction, yeah.
	Well, I knew that, but what about his finger?
	Well, yeah, she threw a bottle of vodka at him, a handle of vodka, that's what severed his finger.
	Oh, that's right, that's what happened.
	He had to have surgery, and then he got Mercy, he got staff, which I didn't realize how severe it was when I got it in my foot two years ago.
	You can get sepsis, it's really, really bad.
	Well, you can easily die from it.
	Oh, yeah, yeah.
	Absolutely you can, yeah.
	And, uh, so he was in pain.
	Now, remember we always tell people, oh, mental health, oh, addiction health, right?
	We tell people to get help, and they should.
	Yes.
	If you have an opiate addiction.
	But do you think that people are going to be open with their opiate addiction if right now he's being condemned for it?
	Sure, it sounds like he was drunk.
	By the way, it doesn't sound violent.
	He sounds like, uh, in pain.
	It does sound pathetic, and I'm sure that's embarrassing for Johnny Depp.
	But do you think that people, men or women, are more likely or less likely to get help If you decide to embarrass him on a public stage in order to try and extort them for money.
	Well, of course.
	And I mean, the problem is, is it's still extremely stigmatized.
	Yeah.
	And any time that you can bring in any sort of a legal activity, even if it's legally prescribed, he may have obtained it in a different way.
	And that's the problem, is any time that you can talk about addiction, no matter what it was with him, he could be overspending whatever you can find on somebody that they can admit to.
	You know what, here let's... It can be anything, it can be... Because that's a really good point, and I think a lot, and I, honestly Dave, I really do appreciate when you're open about this, because I, you know, we've talked in private, I'm like, I don't want to bring up the addiction stuff.
	Oh, it's fine.
	And I think that you help a lot of people when you discuss this.
	Well, thank you.
	And I think we've both discussed having mental health issues in the past.
	We both have, because I don't want it to only come up when it's political football.
	When people say, usually mental health only comes up when it's a school shooting, and one side wants to say, oh it's not guns, it's mental health.
	The right does that.
	And then the left says we don't want to stigmatize mental health if some celebrity commits suicide.
	But then the left uses it against people. The society in general uses it against people.
	And I think there's a difference between judgment, which is a good thing,
	and stigmatizing and shame. In other words, we all need to make judgments. You cross the street,
	you're making a judgment. Sooner or later, you're making a judgment yourself that you have a
	problem. You have a problem with whatever it is, pills, heroin, I don't know what it is, whatever
	drug it is, could be alcohol. Sooner or later, you're making a judgment. But someone should be
	able to make a judgment, bring their judgment to someone else and get help. When they bring it to
	someone who can help them...
	And then that's used against them.
	That's when you end up stigmatizing people.
	And that's what's happening right now.
	Well, and also if you have like a court order, you know, obviously that is a judgment, but even you actually follow it and you go, okay, this is something that I realized I've made a mistake.
	I want to change my life.
	They can use that court order against you and you're treated like a criminal instead of an addict.
	Right.
	So, because sometimes you have to hit rock bottom and rock bottom comes in a lot of different ugly ways.
	Yeah.
	But you're right.
	I mean, I have several mental health issues.
	Pirates of the Caribbean 4.
	Yes.
	Well, yeah.
	You don't turn... Well, for that money... Rock Bottom.
	That's down with Davey's Locker.
	Oh, please.
	I'll do 30 of those.
	Yeah.
	I'll play a waiter.
	I love how Johnny Depp's like, I hate this character.
	I'm tired of it.
	And they're like, oh, OK, well, we're not going to have you in the sixth one.
	He's like, what?
	That's my life.
	Come on.
	I don't want to go back to Benny and June.
	Let's not be rash.
	Come on.
	I don't even answer Tim Burton's phone calls anymore.
	We've made a mess together.
	I mean, how many diagonal shots do you need?
	He says, please.
	Are they taking a break?
	They're on a break?
	Livestream?
	What does shortly mean?
	Do we know what shortly means?
	They're not taking their lunch break, are they?
	At 11.30?
	It looks like they might be taking a short recess.
	Taking a short recess.
	So you know what?
	Let's do this.
	I don't know if we want to go to... Do you want to take some chats right now on YouTube?
	This is usually something we do with Mug Club, but let's take chats for about five to ten minutes on the Johnny Depp situation, Amber Heard.
	If that's what we want to do, you let me know.
	Again, I'm kind of going through this blind.
	And then if they come back, we can continue covering it.
	If you're watching right now, you can usually join LightUpWithCreditor.com slash MugClub.
	We take a few chats every day.
	Thursday, we take a lot of chats.
	And of course, we usually have another segment or another game, something like that.
	But let's take some... We've got another segment, too, if we wanted to go into that.
	No, I don't think we need to go into this.
	I'd like to take some chats on what people think about the Amber Heard-Johnny Depp situation.
	Because I have been very surprised.
	I thought it would be maybe a 50-50 split.
	It's not.
	No, well I'm very surprised, even at first I was a little bit surprised by how many people didn't really believe her.
	Right.
	But I was not surprised by the number of people that immediately demonized Johnny Depp, took away his career, or at least wanted to.
	Yeah.
	Took away, you know, he just, you have a track record of being in the public spotlight since the early 80s and this is the first time it's come up.
	I think you should at least give a little bit of time before you just jump on somebody.
	That's our society.
	The second you can hurt somebody and the second you can take their career away, there's a lot of people out there that just want to do that.
	It's the inability to achieve something and just immediately try to kill off somebody else.
	No, it was right away jumping on it, and honestly, not like... I remember we told some jokes about it, but nothing really serious because we didn't know.
	Then when the tapes came out of Amber Heard, you know, hitting him and talking about hitting him, I remember feeling like this is just awful, him being railroaded.
	Because again, working in the media, you see the groundswell on how much of a trend it was that Johnny Depp was abusive.
	It wasn't really in our wheelhouse, so we didn't spend a lot of time on it, but I was aware of just... it was sort of this goldmine.
	It was like a witch hunt of how many people could just, you know, get some kind of a scoop on Johnny Depp.
	And I remember thinking, you're going to have a lot of people who heard that and they're not going to know that she was wailing on him.
	Well, yeah.
	And I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe Johnny Depp's own daughter came out and said, you know, he wasn't.
	She was.
	Right.
	And that was ignored because it's like, well, come on, it's his daughter.
	She's defending him.
	But I think that's important.
	Yeah, well, her own psychologist, the one who she hired, by the way, yesterday, who showed incredible gender bias by saying, you know, often the woman being abused just assumed that it was a woman, and it turns out she has never actually given an evaluation or testimony, at least in the last, I believe, five or ten years, that involved a man being abused outside of a same-sex couple.
	Right.
	And we know, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that Mother?
	commit domestic abuse against men more than men committed against women and that's what's reported
	and we all know that it's underreported. Now this is why her own psychologist was arguing or a
	clinical psychologist I believe was arguing the severity of the injuries are worse because men
	are more powerful. No one's arguing that of course. I mean I've been hit by a woman, everyone here has
	been hit by some woman at some point. We talked about that a long time. Mother. Yeah well you
	know we had it coming. That's there's there's an immunity for mother. Grandmother. Yeah well
	I don't know how that happened.
	She came back from the grave just to womp on you.
	That is powerfully bad behavior.
	Every night.
	But what we don't discuss is, okay, the severity of injuries are more severe if a man abuses a woman.
	Got it.
	Yes.
	It doesn't change the fact that women try more.
	And what about in this instance, it's irrelevant because you injured him by throwing a glass bottle at him.
	In other words, the injury argument is no longer relevant here because if you use a weapon, that's why a gun is a great equalizer.
	Sure, a man is stronger than a woman, which, by the way, is considered offensive and sexist outside of a legal case.
	We're trying to say, well, sure, she hit him, but she can't hurt him.
	She's just a poor little girl.
	Johnny Depp is, you know, he's this brooding epitome of masculinity.
	Well, yes, he's an all man.
	Yes.
	He was out doing Black Mass, which nobody bought him as the lead character.
	Right.
	Him and his turtle dove-like brittle chest, throwing overhand rights at Amber Heard.
	And this is where we are.
	These are the arguments.
	Her own psychologist said, yes, she hit him.
	But the question became, is it reactive violence?
	And I think it was Johnny Depp's attorney saying, OK, so she throws a bottle.
	Someone who's defending themselves, do they typically throw a bottle at someone's face?
	She said, well, it could be reactive.
	Okay.
	He said, if they miss, do they typically throw a second one?
	Well, it would depend on the context.
	And then in any context where the allegation was that Johnny Depp got physical with her, it was abuse.
	I don't know.
	I don't really think that a bottle of mineral spirits is a great weapon for self-defense.
	But I don't even really know what mineral spirits is.
	It's apparently turpentine.
	Right.
	And with the amount that he smokes, not a good idea.
	I mean, not a good idea to drink turpentine in general.
	That's what I've always said.
	Yeah.
	I mean, it's safe.
	It's a safe stance.
	Yeah, I agree.
	But you know what?
	We don't need to be edgy all the time.
	Let's grab some chats and see what people are saying here about Amber Heard and Johnny Depp.
	Okay, John Johnston wants to know, do you think Johnny Depp gets more opportunities in Hollywood post-trial or less?
	Absolutely more.
	I absolutely think that he gets more.
	I don't know how many more, but I absolutely think that he's in a better position after this trial than he was before this trial.
	Because whether he wins the defamation or not, and I talked about this with half-Asian lawyer Bill Richmond on last Ash Wednesday, he needs to prove that she knowingly lied and that it did damages to him.
	That's kind of a tough hurdle to clear.
	Whether he wins that or not, he's already won.
	Well, the people that are going to go see his movies, you know, they weren't going to go see him anyway.
	The people that will always hold on.
	That's the problem with now is if you get accused of something, you're going to be guilty to a certain number of people in the public.
	Right.
	Because they won't let it go and they will just assume that you're always the abuser because that allows them to always continue playing that victim card and have that narrative.
	But I think he's going to have way more opportunities because they hated him anyway.
	But people do like Johnny Depp.
	It's why he's been successful for so long.
	He's good at what he does.
	And there's no reason why you wouldn't want to have a bankable star back.
	And he was kind of aging out a little bit.
	So this puts him back into the spotlight.
	So I think he will actually get more opportunities as well.
	Well, they said that he had to take a lot of crappy films because of some of the financial burdens that he had, and this was just because of a liquidity issue, so that's why he did a few.
	What was that movie with the artificial intelligence thing where you download your brain?
	Oh, Transcendence?
	Transcendence, yeah.
	Oh God, it was terrible.
	But he had to do those, and so it was like Pirates of the Caribbean and crap.
	But since then he hasn't really done anything, since the Amber Heard allegation.
	No, he hasn't been able to.
	He hasn't been able to, so I don't see how it could get any worse.
	And certainly, I think at the worst, in the worst case scenario for Johnny Depp going forward now, it's, alright, this was an unhealthy, this was a toxic relationship from both sides, right?
	That's at best that Amber Heard can argue.
	And I think a lot of people are going to understand the difference.
	It's pretty legitimate to a degree, sure.
	Yeah.
	I think it was toxic.
	I think he was probably angry.
	I think he was probably temperamental.
	And I don't see any evidence that he physically abused her.
	I don't either.
	And I think that if anybody's being honest, we've all in our life been in an argument where you lose control, you're pissed off, your emotions get the better of you.
	And people want to act like they've never been in a situation.
	Now, yeah, obviously throwing bottles, hitting, you know, ripping off the part of somebody's finger.
	You know, there's extents that we all don't cross, but we've all been in that moment where, whether it's with anybody, even where you just turn red and you do something regrettable.
	Yeah.
	Which I'm willing to, of course, look at her.
	It's a very forgivable thing.
	Right.
	But it seems that this is sort of her usual.
	Well, she agreed to terms.
	Here's the problem.
	There's a difference between, you know, explosive anger that happens.
	Like you said, it happens probably in every relationship at some point where both the woman and the man, they get mad, they lose control, and that's a bad thing.
	Shouldn't happen.
	But it does happen.
	It's a part of life.
	It's realistic if you're in a relationship.
	Right.
	There's a difference between that and then proactively settling, which she did.
	She got $7 million, Amber Heard.
	And then after that and signing a non-disclosure to settle so that you keep it private for his children, right?
	That was a big reason for it.
	She got more money than she'd ever earned at that point, as far as I understood it.
	Although her work in Never Back Down was...
	I was going to say.
	I can't believe she hasn't made more.
	Yes.
	From what I'm seeing, great.
	She's a Daniel Day-Lewis.
	Yes.
	Actually, she's probably hamming it up about like Daniel Day-Lewis.
	This is about as believable as Daniel Day-Lewis doing my left foot on the stand.
	Playing human is really great.
	Yeah, yeah.
	She agreed.
	Settled.
	And then, when Aquaman was coming out, had someone ghostwrite and signed off on being a victim of abuse, capitalizing on the Me Too trend, and then told him, well, you go ahead and go out and say, this is what's a recorded phone call, you go out and tell them that you're a man, a victim of domestic abuse, you tell the world, Johnny, see who they believe.
	That's not reactive anger.
	That is proactive abuse.
	That is proactive manipulation.
	Regardless of the fights, if we can all agree that the fights are a tit-for-tat, And I don't know that that's the case.
	Let's assume the fights are a tit-for-tat.
	That phone call tells you that it's not, though.
	That's the problem.
	And I agree.
	But let's say the fight's a tit-for-tat.
	Yeah, yeah, no, I get it.
	I get the hypothetical.
	But I agree.
	No, it's not even tit-for-tat.
	But let's even say if it was she's mad and he's mad.
	Well, since then, it's not.
	He tried to settle.
	He didn't go after her.
	He didn't drag her name through the mud.
	He wanted to keep it private.
	He gave her money that she wouldn't be entitled to anyway.
	And then she went forward and she decided to try and be destructive to get her name over the top.
	Two very, very different approaches.
	And it would be unrealistic to, and I'm not saying it's impossible, to believe that she was the angel she portrays herself to be in that marriage, he was a monster, and then after the marriage, him be the silent, non-confrontational one and her to be on the attack, on the attack, on the attack.
	There's usually a pattern of behavior, and that was recognized by both psychologists.
	What really just comes into question is, was Johnny Depp as abusive as Amber Heard?
	Her own lawyers aren't saying that she wasn't.
	They cannot claim she wasn't abusive.
	They're just saying, well, maybe she was abused more.
	Well, then it's a wash as far as I'm concerned.
	Well, and whatever happened, he settled with the fact and knowing that he was the person who was going to be looked at like garbage for the rest of his life with that nondisclosure and that she was going to be able to do movies.
	I mean, he was his career was ruined by it to a degree.
	No doubt about it.
	Well, I think they settled before she came out and did that.
	Well, yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	I think they said it was like, all right, look, we just both get divorced.
	Here's the money and we just go on our merry way.
	And she said, okay, took the money, said she would give it to charity.
	And then she wrote the op-ed.
	So she made the accusations.
	Oh, I knew the charity thing, but I thought she had mentioned.
	Okay.
	She might've mentioned it, but then she wrote the op-ed, which is what got him fired.
	That I knew.
	After she took the money.
	Okay.
	And it's like, well, you can't do, don't you took, you took the money so that you wouldn't keep going forward and try and use this to advance your career.
	And I think that's what rubs people the wrong way because they saw it play out in the public eye and the timing is just too convenient for her.
	Well you wanted your cake and to eat it too and then to eat some more.
	Yes and uh she's looking like she's eating a little bit more cake maybe it's just some stress eating.
	Well it could be the the frumpy gown.
	Yes well she wants everyone to know that she's just like you.
	Yeah I also have no taste.
	Yes she's just like you dressed like a nun.
	Yeah except when she's getting into an elevator and sweats getting ready to get railed by Franco.
	Yes.
	By the way, that's more screen time than he's gotten in a while, too.
	Yeah, you don't see a lot of them.
	Well, that's what happens when you're on the set of Paulo Alto texting your parts to underagers.
	I don't think he ever got in trouble for that.
	Well, I don't know.
	He's just a pretentious prick.
	Remember he got his honorary degree from Columbia and he's like, yeah, I wrote 19 fiction- Have you tried reading any of his books?
	No.
	It's unbelievably bad.
	Yeah, I would- It's like his- Everyone talks as though he's this genius who's hyperly focused and he's hyperly productive.
	Read any of his crap.
	You'll be like, oh yeah, this professor just wanted to be able to say, yeah, James Franco in a class.
	Well, yeah, they also go, you know, he's like the next James Dean.
	Play James Dean once.
	Because it's like, yeah, because he looks like him in a red jacket.
	Yes, exactly.
	Also, nothing against James Dean.
	We don't really know how that story would have turned out.
	No, he only did three films.
	Yeah, he lost his head pretty quickly, literally, during his Hollywood career.
	He did three films, James Dean.
	And one was very, very good.
	Can you name the films?
	One was East of Eden, right?
	East of Eden.
	East of Eden.
	Obviously, Rebel Without a Cause.
	And then what was the third?
	I should know.
	It was a Western.
	Wasn't it a Western?
	Giant.
	It was western though, right?
	It wasn't like a western, but it was set in the west, I think.
	In the west, yeah.
	Like on a ranch, I believe.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Oil?
	Is that what it was?
	Was it oil?
	Okay, I remember it was like a west... I've honestly never seen... I've only seen East of Eden and, uh, obviously Road Without a Cause.
	Yeah, Road Without a Cause.
	I never saw Giant either.
	East of Eden was okay.
	He was good in it though.
	He was good in it.
	It's because he died, James Dean, so they want to say that he was the best.
	I actually think he was better than Marlon Brando, but I don't know how it would have ended up.
	Probably would have ended up fat and on the crapper.
	Well, a lot like Marlon Brando.
	Yes.
	Who just hated... I love Marlon Brando, though.
	I just like that he hated everything he did.
	Yeah.
	It's like, dude, why?
	You just get to be an actor that's great at your job and you're angry at life.
	And I love how they used to stage the scenes around him afterwards so he could just remain seated.
	Like, people thought it's like, oh, it was for his character.
	No, he's just like, you, come here.
	You, come on.
	You, what'd he say?
	They're like, okay, can you just walk two steps?
	It's not in my contract.
	There was supposed to be, like, a huge fight scene at the end of Apocalypse Now.
	Yeah.
	And he showed up, like, drunk and didn't know his lines, so they just let him do his thing.
	Yeah.
	It ended up being pretty good.
	That's like Steven Seagal.
	Steven Seagal got so fat he couldn't do the fight scenes.
	They're like, okay, he's gonna throw a front kick, and you're gonna, you know, you're gonna sidestep, you're gonna block, and he's like, I wouldn't do that.
	They're like, what do you think?
	I would just do this.
	They're like, everyone else is, like, doing these acrobats, and he's just like, Well yeah, on Apocalypse Now, there was a scene where he's just like into the character and I don't know if it was because he was great at method or he's just lazy, but he's doing the lines as Colonel Kurtz and a bug just crawls in his mouth and he eats it and he just goes, I ate a bug.
	And he just keeps talking.
	He also had, uh, there was a Burger King right by his house.
	He would pay a kid to take all the remaining food at the end of the night, and he would throw it over the fence of Marlon Brando's house, and then he would just like- Is that true?
	It's true.
	Grab all the- I can say this honestly.
	Grab all the Burger King and go back inside his house.
	Well, that's just self-punishment at that point.
	I mean, he has the money.
	Oh, he was, but yeah.
	Did you see him in Island of Dr. Morell?
	No, I did, but I didn't- Okay, look.
	He wasn't even supposed to wear any of that.
	I saw him.
	I didn't make the leap that he had the Burger King boy throw bags of trash into his yard.
	I assumed that he ate a lot of expensive, high-quality food because he was rich.
	No.
	God!
	No, this was a sexy leading man who then played Vito Corleone and then after was like, I'll just ruin my body.
	Or the Burger King in my yard.
	I just can't imagine...
	How disgusting is that?
	I was looking up Dave's Sprinter King thing and I have something... Is this true?
	Yeah, it is true, but... I don't think... No, no, hold on a second.
	Can we just stop?
	I don't think I've ever heard anything more disgusting.
	Well, I might have something to top it.
	Johnny Depp, Worlds Collide.
	Oh, we're back to the trial, but really fast.
	Johnny Depp said that he loved his farts so much he compared them to God.
	Marlon Brando.
	Depp said, my own tear-filled laughter gave up the charade.
	I reached into my pocket and revealed the culprit.
	Marlon's face lit up like a Christmas tree.
	The smile of a five-year-old.
	I handed the fart unit to him.
	He held it up to the light and exclaimed, I found God.
	I was so proud that after a couple of years of being on the receiving end of Marlon's practical jokes, I was finally able to swing back and connect big time.
	Wait, it was a fart machine?
	But we were both winners as the fart machine became the source of entertainment for many years.
	Wow.
	They have the sense of humor of like a six-year-old boy and they're both wearing Burger King Kids Club crowns.
	Mr. Brando, I admire your catalog of work.
	I celebrate all of it and I believe that we share common ground over mineral spirits in this flatulence machine.
	Also circumcised in the 60s.
	You can keep all the rings and I get the food.
	Yes, I appreciate it.
	I have always had a fondness for your Burger King trash thrown over your fence.
	You take risks.
	I eat it on all fours.
	It's brave.
	Brave choice.
	This is why you make the choices.
	They're not like Johnny Depp.
	They are pretentious pricks.
	I know.
	I love both of them.
	I can only imagine the director just like, oh, son of a bitch.
	Wait, sorry, what were you saying, Chokadown?
	So the trial's coming back, but right now, what, is she taking her oath?
	She's taking her oath that she's going to immediately break?
	Oh, there's no audio yet?
	All right.
	By the way, if anybody wants to throw McDonald's trash over my face when I'm older, I'll totally tape a 20 to the front.
	So many similarities I would wager between me and Dave, though.
	There are differences that bring us apart.
	He prefers McDonald's.
	I have a penchant for Whataburger thrown over my... It's not so much a fence as it is really more of a steel barrier, but it's a style choice, brave choices.
	I originally wanted Wendy's, but the Frosties would just go everywhere and cause ants.
	Yes, he had a problem with Frosties.
	He used to yell at them and accuse them of being nothing more than a thick glorified milkshake.
	And he pooped in the bed.
	But he did so with no malice.
	Imagine if Marlon Brando pooped in your bed.
	Oh my gosh.
	Just like sunk in.
	Yeah.
	You're like, was there a rhino in here?
	It'd be like the reverse Princess and the Pea.
	All right, let's see what's happening with Amber Hirtimp.
	Thank you.
	Try the fish.
	Yes, I'll be here all week.
	Did you reach out to- Try the friendship breaker.
	Objection, your hearsay and bleeding.
	Your Honor, I would direct your Honor's attention to the first one in blue.
	Ooh, when she has that tablet lighting up in front of her, it's like someone telling a scary story by the campfire.
	And they found hanging from the door a gold-digging bitch!
	No!
	I want you to dress like the judge.
	Yes.
	Let me get off.
	Yes.
	Without the shoulder pads.
	Everything about this just seems calculated.
	They keep cutting the audio with this thing.
	Alright, well that's why we're here with you.
	Yeah, we're trying for you.
	We're giving you the old college try.
	But it really is something.
	Yeah, it really is something to try and keep this alive.
	You guys can smash the like button if you want more of this.
	Let's take a chat and see what people are saying about this trial.
	He has a steel tumbler.
	I don't know why I find that so funny.
	It's like these actors, we think that they're distinguished and they have these yachts, but he's wearing, you know, the already pre-assembled suit from J.C.
	Penney, drinking from a generic steel tumbler that he got at like some kind of a furniture convention.
	Oh, that was my favorite was when Hulk Hogan was on.
	I forgot what the trial was even about.
	It was Gawker.
	It was Gawker the sex tape, wasn't it?
	Or no.
	It might have been the sex tape, yeah.
	It may have been that.
	But he came in just in his usual, like, sort of wrestling yellow garb, you know?
	Yeah.
	And the judge is like, you have to tone it down so the next day he comes in in a black bandana and a giant chain.
	He just went to NWO era.
	Right.
	Yeah, he just came in this bad Hulk Hogan.
	And the judge is like, you know, fine, whatever.
	At least you tried.
	It didn't help him where every time they asked a question he went, Yeah.
	What?
	That is the funniest sex tape.
	It's not even a sex tape.
	It's just a guy talking about how he's full naked in a bed.
	Oh Oh
	Oh I just think I ate too much.
	I ate too much.
	I'm so sad.
	I know.
	Oh, Terry.
	I mean, he made Mr. Nanny.
	That makes that movie look... He also made, was it Thunder in Paradise?
	Thunder in Paradise.
	And then Suburban Commando with Christopher Lloyd.
	That's right.
	I remember Suburban Commando.
	Oh, are they back?
	Alright, let's hear what she has to lie.
	Communication between you and Rocky Pennington, your best friend, is that correct?
	That's correct.
	Objection, hearsay.
	It's an odd objection.
	How is it hearsay if she was just asked if something was correct?
	I don't know, that seems odd.
	I'm not a lawyer, but I do play one on television, and that seems strange.
	Amber Heard's like, really, I would like to sit down with you for a nice character study.
	It's like, if you're playing a lawyer, it's going to be the same thing you always play.
	Yes.
	But you do.
	She shows up in Aquaman with glasses and a law book.
	I didn't even know she was in Aquaman, because I've never seen it.
	Yeah.
	My son had no interest.
	I had no interest.
	I mean, you really have to stretch to make the world in danger from sharks.
	Yeah, I think we talked about it, but it was like an idea for Entourage, because they're like, well, here's a hero where they'll never make a movie about it, so we can just have it in this.
	And then they did.
	Yeah, I know.
	And then they made Gatsby as well, which they somehow made worse than the movie Entourage did.
	Oh, well, you didn't like Gatsby?
	You didn't like it with the Jay-Z soundtrack?
	Oh, you didn't make sense that people were dancing on a bridge and model teased or rap music while no one was driving the cars?
	You know, I was wondering a little.
	It seems...
	The only film worse than Great Gatsby that I can think of.
	Because the ending was awful.
	And I love Leo in movies, but I couldn't wait for him to get shot.
	Is it Puffy now?
	Is it P. Diddy?
	Is it Sean Combs?
	What does he go by?
	What does he go by?
	Come on.
	I get it that I'm the asshole for not knowing.
	Didn't he show up in the film?
	Wasn't he in the club scene or am I thinking of someone else?
	Was it Jay- it was Jay-Z, or was it Puffy?
	It was one of those really, really rich rappers.
	I only remember Tobey Maguire for a second, and I honestly don't remember any other part of that movie.
	Joel Edgerton.
	Was it one of- was it- I know Outkast was the soundtrack, but I don't- I did a lot of the soundtrack, but I don't think it was one of them.
	I don't know.
	The only thing- and the ending was awful.
	Spoiler alert if you didn't see The Great Gatsby.
	The only ending worse- worse than that was King Kong, the one with Peter Jackson.
	Oh, that's terrible.
	The last line from Jack Black.
	He goes, I guess in the end... Zoom out.
	It was the beauty that killed the beast.
	That's how you're gonna end it?
	End Jack Black saying it.
	They're back to the trail, but Puffy goes by Love now.
	What?! !
	No!
	No!
	No, I'm not going to do it!
	He legally changed his name to Sean Love Combs.
	Guess what?
	I don't give a shit!
	He was Puff Daddy, then he was P. Diddy, then he was Diddy, then he was Puffy.
	I might be getting the chronicle.
	Then he was Sean Combs around Monsters Ball because he wanted to be an actor.
	That's right!
	That's right!
	Now he wants to be Love?
	Love, that's feminine.
	No.
	I'm not gonna.
	No.
	I'm not gonna.
	Puffy, Puff Daddy, P. Diddy, Diddy, Love.
	How about Silly Prick?
	It's gotten progressively worse.
	I want to put him in a prison cell with The Edge from U2.
	Like, yeah, you two fight it out over who gets the shittiest nickname that you gave yourself.
	Yeah, we fight to the death and we kill the winner.
	Yeah, exactly, like Spartacus.
	Alright, let's see.
	She's making her resting angel face.
	Objection.
	Hearsay.
	Let's go to defendants 222.
	Just spend the $7 million on a lawyer?
	We know she didn't give it to the ACLU.
	Let's go to defendants 222 and just spend the seven million on a lawyer.
	We know she didn't give it to the ACLU.
	No.
	And they muted.
	Why do they keep muting it?
	It's like, well, this one's not because of an objection.
	We just find her to be shrill.
	Oh, Johnny Depp's other lawyer needs to wash her hair.
	I know.
	Not a good look.
	Right now he's just talking to her like, have you ever considered dry shampoo?
	Yes.
	You're sitting next to a movie star.
	Maybe you should sit on the other side of the table, not next to me.
	Yes.
	And if I'm saying that, that must be quite severe because it's well known that I don't bathe, but I at least present myself as I do.
	Yes.
	I've smoked 38 cigarettes outside and you smell way worse than I do.
	I don't know how that happens.
	Didn't you go to Cornell?
	Yes.
	Is that my jacket?
	laughter Oh, and that other guy's sitting there with- it's like, don't
	sit with your palm that way you look gay!
	I know, he's just leaning in like this.
	What are we gonna say next?
	So, Johnny, what happened in Donnie Brasco?
	I was a little confused.
	Oh, oh, we're back.
	Oh, I think I threw that.
	Objection!
	Donnie Brasco is a great film. Yeah That's honestly my favorite Johnny Depp film.
	I love Donnie Brasco.
	I like it more than Godfather.
	I know it's a different kind of film, but Donnie Brasco is one of my favorite movies in that genre and I feel like it's overlooked.
	Oh, I agree.
	And I'll give you two reasons.
	Michael and Madsen.
	That is an underutilized fantastic actor in my book.
	I love him in movies.
	Let's go back, yeah, let's go back.
	They throw them in stuff, like, I've seen them in B-movies every now and then on, like, a plane.
	But every part he's in is great.
	Yeah, I know.
	I watch movies on planes.
	It's like Eric Roberts!
	I can't believe there are a lot on planes.
	I'm like, this is some hardcore nudity just available to watch on a plane.
	Yeah, The Watchman was on a plane once.
	Yeah, it's just... Oh, the blue genitals.
	Are they muting again?
	This makes it impossible!
	It's almost a stop-start as a former Vice President Biden's State of the Union address.
	Yeah, this is how his brain works?
	Yes.
	And look, even right now, look at her face.
	Look at her face.
	It's just like, I'm sorry.
	I didn't mean to doody in your bed.
	I didn't.
	It was just a prank.
	Here's the difference.
	If he goes, uh, they say, did you do drugs?
	Yes, I did.
	They say, did you drink?
	Yes.
	Did you break cabinets?
	Yes, I did break, uh, I've been in a fight with a cabinet or two in my day.
	You know, he's sitting there and he's kind of being, okay, maybe you can say that he's being a little bit arrogant, but he admitted to it.
	Whereas she goes, the pooping was a prank.
	Well, it was an accident.
	Okay, I'm sorry I didn't punch you the right way.
	When you see a pattern of someone never accepting responsibility, that's what makes it tough.
	It's really tough to be in a relationship or friendship if you have a mother, a father, a son who can never be wrong.
	We've all had that person.
	And I don't mean someone who's hard-headed.
	I mean someone who can never be wrong and never be responsible for their own mistakes.
	And that's ultimately what I think.
	If you had to pin it down to one thing, it's that Johnny Depp put himself at risk.
	Yes.
	all of his flaws for the world to see and accept responsibility for them and he's just said,
	I just didn't do this part, which is what she's saying, the abuse. That didn't happen. Did I do
	drugs? Yes. Was I in and out of rehabilitation and sobriety?
	Yes. Did I get mad? Yes. Was I depressed sometimes? Yes. All of these things are true. I
	just didn't physically abuse her.
	And she's saying none of these things that I did, which are recorded and on the record, are my fault.
	Let's go back to her and see.
	That's a good point.
	What, if anything, did you do?
	No, you're right, though.
	I mean, that is a very good point.
	I reached out to friends and family.
	Hearsay.
	Asked for support.
	Objection.
	Hearsay.
	Objection, your honor!
	That woman's a bitch!
	Sustained.
	Agreed.
	Agreed.
	The legal nomenclature you need not concern yourself with.
	That's why we had gone back to LA.
	Johnny was sick.
	After having passed out on the plane.
	So I took her to dinner.
	We went to Benihana's.
	What?
	Could there be a more high-profile play for the celebrities?
	I want to go somewhere quiet where I can relax.
	Where they come to my table and light a fire.
	Yes.
	I want to share a table with eight strangers that want to take a photo with me.
	With eight strange Asian men with rage problems.
	I like when they use the gasoline pee.
	It's funny.
	And they make the choo-choo onions.
	It's almost as funny as the fart machine.
	Shared with Brando.
	Wait, I laugh.
	He just laughs way too hard at it for way too long.
	All right, let's see.
	By the way, you notice she's saying when they're asking, she's always talking about him.
	This is something you see.
	She's obsessed with him.
	A lot of his questioning was about himself.
	Hers, Johnny was sick.
	Johnny wanted to do this.
	And I just, and then Johnny was this way.
	And I just, and she's always diagnosing him.
	That's interesting.
	That's a lot of projections.
	It's just deflection.
	Yeah.
	It's still here, stay your honor.
	I'm not crying, I'm just gross.
	May we approach?
	Is she crying?
	Is she crying?
	Do we have to drink?
	Is that crying or is that just sniffles?
	There's a lot of pollen.
	What's the pollen index?
	What's the pollen index?
	I don't want to have to keep drinking if there's a bad pollen index.
	It's very high.
	Okay, so then this will stay put.
	It's not fair to get me soused when there's a pollen.
	He was like, may we approach the bench, comes up, spits on him.
	Do this right!
	Is he laughing?
	Oh he's laughing!
	Shit!
	That's not pollen induced!
	No.
	Was he laughing?
	It looked to me.
	I have a fart ski chain Marlon Brando gave me.
	Instead of a stress ball, he just has a whoopie cushion?
	I was like, I'm sorry.
	I can't help it.
	It reminds me of home.
	Yes, it tickles me pink.
	Pfft.
	Ha ha ha.
	All right, since no one has an answer if he was actually laughing, I'll just take one sip.
	He was actually laughing.
	I'm not finishing.
	Those unattractive lawyers.
	Oh, he had some pretty foxy letters before too.
	The guy on the left looks like he's the before picture before someone gets teeth.
	He looks like the guy that's finally off of alcohol after God knows how many years and he can fix the whiskey face.
	Yes.
	Now to 228.
	All right.
	Your Honor, we're going to object on hearsay.
	Son of a bitch!
	Wow.
	It's sustained every time.
	The sigh.
	I understand your honor's ruling, but I think...
	The sigh.
	Oh!
	And I wore my best funeral frock!
	Oh!
	Oh, and I just stole this from a hands-made tale.
	Yes.
	Or whatever that's called.
	I don't know.
	I don't know if it's Handmaid or Handmaidens.
	Handmaidens?
	I've watched one episode and I was like, I can't do this.
	No, I just saw the costumes and I was like, no, thank you.
	That's enough.
	Yeah.
	They're muting it again?
	People will hate it, but it's like Game of Thrones for me.
	I've never seen it, and I never will.
	And I know people are gonna get pissed, but it's like, I don't care about knights and dragons.
	I don't care.
	Knights and drag queens.
	On Game of Thrones?
	I don't know.
	There's a lot of penis.
	There's a lot of gay fornication.
	I could just watch The Sopranos again.
	There's about three good episodes in the entire, what is it, eight, nine seasons of Game of Thrones?
	And people act like it's the greatest show they've ever had.
	Yeah, and everything else is just a tease to get to a couple of good episodes, and the rest of it is so boring.
	I could look at the commercial for the original one, and I'm like, I'll never watch this show.
	You know what else, though, too?
	I think you and I probably share this.
	Being a comedian, like, you see an interview with George R. R. Martin, you're like, oh, that guy has no sense of humor.
	I probably can't read this.
	Right.
	Yeah.
	He takes himself so seriously.
	Like, if you go back and you read Tolkien, like, you see, like, he actually talked about how this was designed to be written, it was basically meant to be sort of, you know, folklore, or he said, like, what's the term, like, mythology for the Western Europe that didn't already exist.
	And he said it was meant for the simple person, for the layman, and he seemed to have a sense of humor about himself.
	But George R. R. Martin, he has no sense of humor, and once someone shows it, I'm like, I can't do it.
	Oh no, one of the funniest things I've ever seen too about the guy.
	I was on an episode of Family Guy and it's just George R. R. Martin, he's just in his, like, mobility scooter.
	Yeah, yeah.
	And Brian Wilkspie goes, are you sitting?
	And he goes, almost always.
	Hey, our resident psychology PhD candidate has some commentary if you want to bring him in.
	All right, okay.
	We want to bring in our resident PhD candidate.
	All right, let's bring him on in.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Kevin, you're such a disease.
	Jack the Bear.
	Oh, they're coming back.
	Oh, okay, hold on, they're coming back.
	So tell us if there's an objection, I swear to God.
	What you did then over that night, the next day.
	I'm going to leaf blow pollen all over this room.
	Is that cousin Vinnie talking?
	At the hotel.
	What did you do?
	I cried a lot.
	I tried to surround myself with my friends.
	And resolve to leave him.
	Let the record show they're all imaginary.
	I felt powerless.
	Our friends are different kinds of liquor.
	Nothing I did made a difference.
	Friend mineral, next friend spirits.
	I was so careful.
	Rejection.
	Non-responsive.
	So she's doing some of the things I was talking about out there.
	The start-stop is very indicative of somebody that's lying and kind of fabricating on the spot.
	So she'll have moments where she talks quite a bit and it's just like you telling a story about your life that you're watching the video of in your mind.
	Got my penis caught in revolving door once.
	Exactly.
	And it would be a fluid story from start to stop.
	A lot of people behind it, too.
	Yeah, I know.
	I don't know how to be a gentleman in that.
	Do I go first to move the door for the woman, or do I let her go first and let the door?
	But the problem is, there's no way to be a gentleman when your wiener's stuck between the glass.
	It's just screaming.
	No, that's a good point, and I've also noticed there are very few ums, which a lot of people will say, you know, in broadcasting, you're not supposed to say um because it's a word whisker, but it's natural when you're recounting something, as opposed to very staccato, articulate, stop, and then this described that way.
	I notice that's how she's doing it.
	All right, let's see what she's saying.
	Half of Mr. Depp.
	Objection, hearsay.
	Did you just call it like a slip and fall lawyer?
	It's unreal.
	Well, I think, who's objecting?
	Is Johnny Depp's lawyers right now objecting?
	Yeah.
	Cause her lawyer is... Yeah.
	So they're just making it impossible.
	So it's good for them to do that, but it's exhausting for us.
	Everything her lawyer's doing is like, it's not helping her.
	Right.
	How did you feel that night?
	Emperor, what size are your tits?
	Objection!
	Mmm, overruled.
	How would you describe your nipples?
	Silver dollar?
	Do they take up most of the breast national geographic?
	Would they be comparable to an ice cream cone?
	And if so, which flavor?
	Yes.
	No?
	I'll allow it.
	I demand it.
	Hearsay.
	I'm afraid that's overruled.
	Why?
	Because I'm incredibly horny.
	Now pull those out, or I will have you in contempt.
	And they'll make you pull it out in court jail!
	Oh, we gotta see this.
	I'm sorry.
	I don't... They just, they went back to the muse.
	Son of a!
	This is the worst!
	Alright, give us your PhD candidate.
	Give us your breakdown here.
	Well, one of the things that you see a lot from her is the believe me phase.
	Right.
	And there was a lot of that in the early parts of her testimony, especially yesterday, where she's telling a story and she's wanting to look at the jury and she'll kind of go into her narrative and then up come the eyebrows.
	Don't look me in the eyes, it triggers my aggression.
	It's true.
	I see it as a challenge.
	I'm half drunk and it's 11 central, for God's sakes.
	I'm sorry, Kevin, go ahead.
	Your analysis is far more valuable than anything I can contribute here.
	Johnny's all drunk.
	It's like, you believe me, right?
	And she looks to the jury, and the eyebrows come up, and then she'll go back into the start-stop thing, and then she's checking in.
	Because, you know, you guys believe me.
	Yeah.
	Which, it seems like it's, if you're reliving one of your most, and this is something that people get wrong because a lot of the body language experts you'll see on television, they're like, that person is looking down and to the left it means they're lying.
	Often if someone is actually recounting something traumatic or something that is embarrassing to them, they won't look you in the eye.
	It doesn't mean that they're lying, it means that they're nervous about it.
	So someone who looks you in the eye to describe their most traumatic experience of their life...
	That's not natural.
	Because they've been told, look them in the eye.
	Daniel-san, always look her eye.
	Well no, not if you were raped.
	Right.
	Longer than three seconds, it's getting weird.
	Yes it is.
	You ever see guys interact?
	They don't look each other in the eye.
	No.
	Unless it's a stare down before a fight.
	And then they'll talk about something they did that was terrible and they'll be like... So do you want to have an appetizer?
	Yes, I hear they have fantastic mineral spirit spinach dip.
	Yep.
	You think they'll find the body?
	Well, it's buried under bags of Burger King refuse.
	Bags of old Burger King Kids Club friendship bracelets.
	Yes.
	And rings, Dakota rings.
	Bags of Burger King scraps!
	It's a vest.
	It's a vest.
	Ugh, I felt guilty once because when I was poor and I was at a hotel on the road, I took a roll because it clearly had been like, it was like one of those places that would wrap it in foil.
	Please bend there.
	Yeah.
	Okay, I took more than a roll.
	I was trying to, look, I took food off of a take, I took food off of room service trays when I was poor.
	Well every comic too on earth has been like, this continental breakfast also goes in my pocket for dinners.
	Looks like I'm having yogurt and a banana at 5 o'clock.
	Life's going good.
	And then the other comic walks up and knows exactly what you're doing and just goes...
	Yeah.
	You've ruined my... You've ruined dinner.
	What is this, a Danish?
	Oh, it goes in your back pocket.
	I had to go siphon gas.
	They're back up on Amber.
	Okay, let's hear Amber lie.
	I used to dap in the days following the Boston plane incident.
	Yes, I did.
	They were two Utes.
	Please tell the jury about those communications.
	I heard from him...
	Directly, I also heard from him through his assistants who were texting for him.
	Objection, Your Honor.
	Hearsay.
	I knew it was going to be hearsay.
	Sustained.
	You are not allowed to testify about the text messages with his assistant, but can you tell the jury about your communications with Mr. Depp?
	Okay.
	It's kind of confusing because he was texting through them.
	Objection, Your Honor.
	Sustained objection.
	I'll extract that from the record and disregard that testimony.
	Oh boy!
	She's not going to do well with this.
	I have to pee in a minute.
	Oh, so am I. We just can't all go pee at once.
	Tokenawan's gone.
	Oh.
	I've got to pee super bad.
	Yeah.
	Just wait for him.
	Then you... Is Kevi still in there?
	Can I go before you?
	Or do you have to go first?
	All right.
	You can go.
	And then I'll go.
	They're breaking her pattern.
	So she's not able to get on a roll.
	Yeah.
	No, that's exactly... Okay.
	You two talk.
	I want to hear what she... And then I'll come back.
	You guys update me on all the lies.
	Okay?
	Roger.
	About my prediction, everything that broad says is bullshit.
	Okay.
	We'll be right back.
	We still got out of the other room.
	I didn't respond right away.
	And he texted me again that he understood that I had made my decision to move on and good luck.
	Wouldn't a transcript help this out?
	And then continued to...
	Contact me.
	I spoke to him when I was in New York on the phone and he said that he was, um, he had a chip or that he was going to meetings.
	I think at the time mentioned, uh, sober, uh, another celebrity that was kind of advising him on sobriety or not advising him, but you know, Encouraging him and he was saying, well look, you know, me and this person we're... She doesn't know what a sponsor is?
	We even went to a meeting.
	I've got three days sober, four days sober, and that was the last time.
	The monster will never come back.
	The monster will never come back.
	So she's telling the story to the jury?
	Because it felt like such a different... That is kind of weird.
	It felt so much worse than it had ever been before.
	It is strange.
	It's like, Kevin, would you say she's performing for the jury?
	Definitely.
	Well, and the point about ums and the thought linkers that I'm doing right now myself, I think is well made, but we are talking about an actress here who has a lot of time in front of camera, has spent their whole time doing interviews.
	So we might actually be seeing who she is now without the thought linkers, like that she just might be that good.
	Right.
	Which makes the start-stop thing so, like, pronounced.
	Sure.
	I've seen Never Back Down.
	You've seen what?
	I said I've seen Never Back Down.
	She's not that good.
	No, yeah, that's a good point.
	Express your emotions and how you felt about all this.
	Objection, hearsay.
	Well, let's go also lay the foundation, Your Honor.
	Let's go to Defendant 239.
	That's a drink again?
	Yeah.
	239.
	That came in unarmed.
	Good gravy.
	Like, shouldn't she be answering the lawyer and not staring off to the side of the road?
	I mean, Tim makes a good point.
	Someone asks you a question, you look at them.
	Yeah, you start looking at them and then she just looks off and answers the question.
	The same as we just looked at each other for that point of conversation.
	As opposed to me staring at everyone else to see what they thought.
	It's insane.
	It's like, so Dave, I agree with what you say.
	Yeah, I'm just gonna look everywhere else.
	Is the jury, are you believing my bullshit?
	Alright, great.
	Well, that's what I assumed.
	Gage Groskrutz would do that a lot during the trial.
	Who would?
	Gage Groskrutz, when he was... Also a domestic abuser.
	Oh, that idiot from... And then look over and be like, you guys believe me, right?
	Yeah, yeah.
	And then turn back.
	It is very weird.
	The guy who drove farther than Kyle with a gun.
	Yes, exactly.
	If they don't get a pattern here, we'll go to Mug Club and take chat because this is just... it's just death watching.
	Oh, there's a pattern.
	It just sounds like a... They can never answer, which means that his attorneys are doing a good job.
	This is why when you watch shows like Boston Legal or The Practice, you realize that it's not like that in real life.
	It's very tedious.
	Well, as Kevin and Tim have both pointed out, she's kind of performing to the jury.
	Her face always goes to them.
	She's kind of asking it out.
	She's not really answering the questions.
	It's more of a performance every time.
	And that's why I think she's constantly getting hearsay, hearsay.
	Also, she slept with half of them.
	Well, of course.
	It's just James Franco.
	That looks like a cry.
	Listen, I'm going to give you fair judgment.
	Is that a cry?
	I'm willing to serve my community.
	Sit on the jury.
	All right, let's see.
	Oh, God.
	Embarrassed and sorry.
	He said he was and I believed him.
	And this is a 4% beer.
	It's basically water.
	Come back with him.
	All right, I'm gonna go because I don't care.
	On the condition that he will- Come back, we'll take a chance.
	Uphold his promise.
	to do the treatment, to do the full detox, clean up and never go back.
	Again, she's talking about Johnny.
	What Johnny needed to go to rehab.
	Johnny didn't do the detox.
	Johnny didn't do this.
	What about you, Amber?
	What about you?
	That's what I think people are picking up on.
	I don't know.
	You guys can comment below and I would love to see your comments because a lot, it is interesting to see this dynamic of specifically women, specifically women who've been abused, but across the board, not buy it.
	And I think the big reason that people are turned off is Johnny Depp did answer questions about himself, about his inner demons, about his flaws, and she is focused on questions about him.
	About his flaws.
	And for the same reason that people don't like a tattletale.
	It's like, okay, but what about you?
	And she hasn't gotten to that.
	She doesn't want to talk about that.
	This doctor was going to be the solution, the cure, you know, uh, and he got, he got brought on board and all of a sudden the plan was that this team would be involved in Johnny's recovery.
	So it felt real, it felt serious.
	I felt like, Protected you know I'd already by this point heard a million times it seems like a promises to get clean and sober but this felt like a change and They were gonna come to Boston and start working with Johnny and plan was to keep Johnny On a on the same level
	Drugs that he was on since he was filming they needed him to finish filming
	So he was going to be maintained with his prescript with prescription pills including the painkillers
	and The the plan was he would obviously abstain from alcohol
	completely and all other drugs like weed and coke and Then when he finished for someone here's also something for
	someone who's so concerned About and I would say obsessed with Johnny Depp's substance
	abuse issues It really is weird that she was going- because they were only married for, was it a year?
	A little more than a year?
	It wasn't a very long amount of time.
	Maybe it was 15 months.
	At most it was 15 months.
	You know, yesterday she talked about three separate instances when she was doing drugs with Johnny Depp.
	MDMA when they went to this trailer park.
	MDMA on the plane.
	So for someone who's like, I just really want him to get off drugs and get sober.
	But you were doing drugs with him.
	So when did you start taking it seriously?
	Right.
	Yeah.
	15 months.
	15 months.
	You're right.
	And if that's the case, does she take responsibility for enabling him?
	where Johnny was, I just would come for short periods of time in between, I mean on weekends
	from filming until I wrapped my movie, which I did. I think in May.
	Whoever wrote this drinking game needs to be on temporary leave.
	Well they nailed it.
	It's a good game.
	Yeah, but they're gonna kill me.
	At least every time she does Believe Me Face isn't in the drinking game, there would just be alcohol.
	Yes, exactly.
	Just I'll be in the hospital.
	Medications which they shared with me, told me about.
	Objection, your honor. Hearsay.
	But we have to be careful about what other people told you.
	Okay, so you can testify to what you know.
	Yes, please refrain from... See, we're in a courtroom, so being a gossipy high school bitch doesn't quite apply here.
	This doesn't meet the minimum threshold for the court.
	I know the amount that Johnny told them he was on was so that they could maintain him for the filming.
	That wasn't a specific reference.
	No, and it wasn't her film, it was his film.
	We just have a movie mentioned.
	Did it change when you gave him MDMA twice?
	He... his behavior, his whole personality changed drastically.
	He would...
	Did it change when you gave him MDMA twice?
	I was staying in Boston with him having wrapped my movie and he
	would in mid-sentence...
	He just said my movie.
	One time I was sitting across from him and...
	I'm not gonna give that a full high five.
	The good thing is I can finish so someone else needs to bring
	me a drink because this is almost done so it's a perfect time for me to have to...
	Completely what appeared to be asleep while talking to me and he had a cigarette in his hand and you know...
	Johnny constantly smoked, and he just stopped his cigarette.
	Johnny smoked.
	Johnny this.
	Johnny that.
	See, like, this is probably true.
	Yeah.
	Because there's no break in the pattern, and it sounds like an episodic memory.
	And he smells like Virginia Slims.
	He definitely looks like he smells like Virginia Slims.
	Yes.
	Can you imagine being Jenny Depp's acupuncturist?
	As far as masseuse, we were like, ugh, can you just shower?
	Hazmat suit.
	trying to figure out with the nurses and doctors.
	Or as masseuse, we were like, oh, can you just shower?
	Yeah.
	The change and what medications were causing it.
	Hazmat suit.
	I knew there were new medications involved.
	So, you know, I was constantly worried and in communication.
	And Johnny's behavior got worse and worse.
	Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny I remember we were on a mountain when he was filming in Boston and we went to this resort retreat hotel.
	I mean it's pretty tough to argue that the man is not a narcissist who wears more Super Bowl rings than the Chicago Bears.
	I really didn't know.
	I felt so bad for him and I thought maybe it was just what Kipper had introduced into the regime, the medications.
	You just sit and watch him bite a piece of candy off his bracelet.
	This has all been one big, giant commercial for Ring Pop!
	Yeah, I knew it.
	Big Ring Pop.
	The fun don't stop!
	Ring Pop!
	I also have a Cheerio necklace, depending on if I want candy or something healthy.
	He just laughed!
	Shit!
	This is a new drink!
	I'm not finishing this drink!
	I'm not finishing this drink!
	I didn't expect him to laugh this much.
	I'm not finishing this drink!
	They've got to be transition lenses or something.
	Well actually they're not because they're dark inside.
	He just laughed.
	Shit!
	This is a new drink.
	I'm not finishing this drink.
	I'm not finishing this drink.
	I didn't expect him to laugh this much.
	I'm not finishing this drink.
	Just take a sip.
	Yeah, a sip is fine.
	Two sips.
	Fine.
	He could get extra high before he had a detox.
	Casey, hope you enjoyed your trial run.
	This is worse than the Biden one.
	It was such an agonizing few weeks, months.
	It was so agonizing.
	I don't know how long it lasted.
	That's something that seems very fake.
	When someone says days, weeks, months, eons.
	It seemed endless.
	It was so agonizing.
	Was it?
	Right.
	No!
	Not really.
	If something was agonizing for months, you'd surely notice.
	Something that was happening yesterday in her testimony, she was bouncing around between tenses.
	Wait, she was bouncing?
	Can we get, do we get?
	Jump up and down or again, I will have you in contempt.
	Objection!
	Overruled.
	What were you saying there?
	No, it was like he slapped but then slap and there was this change of tense in when the verbs were happening.
	Yeah.
	That's also indicative of fabrication as opposed to just, yeah, he went outside and then he did this and then he did that or something like that.
	Right.
	So you have a master's in psychology, is that it?
	And then you're a PhD candidate?
	Yes.
	Okay.
	Yes, finishing the dissertation as we speak.
	Okay.
	So we'll probably need to find his replacement because he's going to go psychoanalyze people.
	Otherwise, that's just wasted talent here.
	He practiced on me.
	Yeah, well, no, urinating on you, that's not a part of... I know, I was like, are you sure you're a doctor?
	He goes, no, I'm not a doctor.
	You're like, you told me this was immersion therapy.
	And he goes, no, I didn't.
	As long as I don't self-describe as a psychologist, you're totally fine.
	He said, it's urine therapy.
	That's right.
	That doesn't make sense.
	I love how the camera behind Johnny Depp just moved up to the cleavage behind him.
	It literally just tilted.
	There's some guy right now who's like, there's no way C-span's on my camera.
	The director's like, Camera 2!
	Stop with the tits!
	Camera 2!
	Stop!
	I'll never stop!
	Seriously, we're not telling you again.
	Go a little closer next time.
	A little bit closer now.
	A little bit closer now.
	Let's see them titties now.
	Let's see some of the titties now.
	This is all perverts on camera who just see breasts.
	She knows the game.
	Your boobs are huge.
	Can you please describe for the jury?
	Well, there's a compilation of him and her interacting that I sent.
	Oh, okay.
	Well, when there's the next break, we'll watch that and then take chat at Mug Club.
	First few days, okay.
	Peaceful.
	The nurse, and then later nurse and doctor, were staying on a different part of the island.
	Tell us more about the nurse.
	She's a sexy nurse.
	It was a guy.
	The doctor was a girl.
	You're lucky to be alive.
	You don't have a hand for a leg!
	ATV. The doctor was a girl. But we communicated occasionally through text and the behavior
	then it just really wasn't okay. It was up, down, he'd be mad at me,
	then he was wanting a hug, he cried a lot and then he um.
	Which is weird.
	Which is weird.
	You know, wanted to have sex a lot, like, which is... What?
	Oh, what?
	Someone who's married to this would want to have sex often?
	That's insane!
	That's unheard of!
	That's so weird!
	So bizarre!
	Does that appeal to sexism?
	Yeah, that's a drink.
	I mean, it's appealing sex.
	I think I'm coming up with a diagnosis.
	He wanted to have sex with me all the time, which is largely the reason he married me.
	Psychiatrist runs in, like he's disrupting a wedding at, you know, speak now or forever hold your peace.
	Objection!
	That's a frigid bitch!
	Expand on that.
	What'd you do to him?
	Did you let him?
	How many times a week?
	Because if it's under four, I'm gonna hold you in criminal contempt.
	Are you a missionary or do you like to get weird like a man crying?
	How many hammocks do you own?
	Do you like swings?
	Like Jesus.
	You just portrayed Johnny Depp as Jesus.
	to me about that and tried to overturn this table. Luckily it was like Jesus. You just
	portray Johnny Depp as Jesus. Good work, Amber. Did she say welded down? Yeah. And thanking me.
	He does seem like a guy who has like a 5,000 pound table made of wood that doesn't even exist anymore.
	Right.
	Like it was taken from the Redwoods.
	Yeah.
	Did she just say that he thanked her after sex?
	Oh, the humanity.
	Well, I mean, I would imagine.
	I would.
	High five, good game.
	Yeah.
	Thanks again.
	I'm gonna give you an ecto-cooler and a chocolate bar.
	No, please don't poop on the bedspread.
	I saved his life, and he wouldn't be doing this without me.
	I was telling him these things, and I was... At one point in our conversations, I told him about how... Objection, Your Honor.
	Hear say.
	Please try to continue without what you said, please.
	Um... I said something to him, and uh... No more, there can't be any more objections.
	But he did it, like, while crying.
	It was the weirdest thing.
	It's like a drink, you never know when you have too much of something and it tastes bad, but then you have more of it, and then it tastes good again.
	Pretty good.
	That's a good thing!
	It's like amber.
	That's where I am.
	I object!
	Baaaaaah!
	But you know, I didn't want to make him feel embarrassed.
	Oh, fuck!
	I shouldn't have done that drunken Mr. Miyagi bit.
	She can't do it.
	It's actually a heartbreaking scene.
	It really is.
	I've had life before!
	Yes, I have!
	I'm the doctor's nurse's student.
	There's like four people who remember this.
	This is a heartbreaking scene.
	It really is.
	He's an unbelievable actor.
	I forgot that scene existed until I showed it to my son a couple years ago.
	Yeah.
	I was like, I forgot about this really sad drunk guy.
	He's my favorite Japanese actor named Pat.
	Yes, by far.
	You're screaming at me.
	Was his name on Happy Days?
	Oh, I don't remember.
	Arnold?
	Was it Arnold?
	Pat Morita?
	Oh, his name's Pat Morita.
	Alright, hold on.
	I want to see if she's correct.
	We'll go out to Mug Club and find out his name.
	Chances are it's not even the same guy.
	No!
	It's Jet Li.
	He was, um, accusing me of having A man in the house with me.
	Oh, where could he ever get that idea?
	Again.
	You know, in a cabinet.
	It's basically one room with a closet and a bathroom.
	And an elevator with James Franco in it.
	Tied, really?
	I mean, there's a closet and a bathroom.
	And he, at one point... And a Tesla with Elon Musk in it.
	I was hiding somebody in the house.
	Another point, he was communicating with someone not in the room.
	This sounds like she's trying to describe psychosis that she read from a textbook, which, by the way, has never been presented anywhere else.
	Remember we were talking about the MMPI-2 test?
	And you can take it online.
	You can at least look at some of the questions, because I know that that was where the psychologist said that she uh, was lying through the test and I was curious about this
	and there are questions like that exactly. Right. Do you speak to people in the room who aren't
	there? Right. Do you see, so it sounds to me like she read through a psychological textbook and
	she's trying to ascribe that to him whereas these are never concerns she brought up before
	that, before now. Right.
	And the MMPI is good in that regard.
	I mean, I don't want to give away all the secrets, but questions on there are critical items that nobody responds to correctly, but if they're trying to sound crazy, they will.
	Like, sometimes I see in black and white.
	No, you don't.
	Well, and also, is it really that when he's going, Hey, is the guy who was banging my wife still here?
	Yeah.
	He's not talking to no one.
	He's trying to find someone in this house.
	He's like, Elon?
	Uncle Frank?
	James?
	Buzz?
	They make for a fun conversation though, clinically, like I've had clients and you go over the test with them and you'd be like, so sometimes you see black and white, say more.
	I'm a racist.
	Okay, well, that was a misinterpretation.
	That was weird.
	All right, let's see what you see two colors.
	Yes.
	The process of detox in LA.
	And I had my friends out with my girlfriends there to support me as per usual.
	So let's, Michelle can you pull up 272 please?
	Detox in LA is a girl's night?
	Just showing up with like bachelorette party with like penis lollipops.
	Detox!
	Detox night.
	Detox per usual.
	Seaweed wrap!
	Did Mr. Depp communicate with you?
	I snuck in some mineral spirits.
	We're gonna take laxatives.
	There's eating raw corn husks.
	Johnny's really been shitting the bed lately.
	Yeah.
	Oh!
	I really didn't mean to poop his bed.
	I think it was maybe the corn cob pipe that I ate.
	I don't know.
	Let's drink turpentine and ruin some sheets.
	And your honor's ruling on that.
	Can we redact that second message?
	I'll redact it.
	Ma'am, what color is your hair?
	I don't know anymore!
	Do you and Johnny share the same five-color hair dye?
	Well, no.
	No.
	He uses just for men and I use just for bitches.
	Actually, it's mostly for bitches.
	It's a generic.
	It's next to it at Walmart.
	For God's sakes, I only got $7 million out of this.
	Sorry, after I gave to charity $7 million out of this.
	Sorry, after I gave to charity $7 million out of this.
	Yes.
	Oh, this is a good text.
	Okay, just to let you know, I'm fine my angel.
	I miss you, of course, but this was the right thing to do to speed up the process.
	I love you more than life.
	Yours, Steve.
	This is sent to Amber Heard.
	All right, let's see what she says.
	Yours, Steve.
	You see that?
	I do.
	So what, if any, expressions was Mr. Depp giving you at this point that he was angry with you ever?
	Having to help participate with the detox or to be on the island or anything along that line.
	Objection.
	Form.
	Compound.
	I'll allow it, but just... I would have objected.
	That was definitely a compounding question.
	To say two has already been entered into evidence without that reaction, and there wasn't any objection, so I would wish... If I could have both sides to keep track of their evidence, it's not my job to keep Also, I object to Johnny Depp's representation, silly
	barber pole tie.
	It's really the party's responsibility to take care of the record, not mine.
	My apologies on that one, your honor.
	She really does have dead's eyes, like the doll's eyes.
	Oh, she does, yeah.
	And when she comes for half your shit and those eyes are all white.
	No legal notification or papers have been sent.
	She writes her article on HuffPo.
	Sometimes gold-digging ore goes away.
	Sometimes gold-digging ore doesn't go away.
	Have we got another one?
	Sometimes gold-digging ore gives you MDMA and looks into your soul.
	Let's see what this text is.
	And she said, I can't live without you.
	You are my everything.
	There are no words.
	Fake, fake, fake, fake.
	I just want you to be okay and happy.
	I love you more every single day.
	Can't imagine my life without you.
	Hey, by the way, that kind of gets to the abuse of don't leave, don't leave, don't leave.
	When someone is abusive, they try and make it so that you cannot leave.
	That's a big thing.
	Right.
	And it's often combined with them leaving temporarily and coming back so they put you on your heels and you fear being abandoned while they make you know that if you abandon them they could kill themselves.
	They want to put the responsibility of you on you and the responsibility of them on you.
	And that's what she's doing.
	I'm not a psychologist, but that's... No, but you're definitely on to something.
	And then there's also the pattern disruption that she would engage in, of like, don't go, don't go, don't go.
	Okay, that breaks him from what he wants to do.
	Then the little thing in your mind, the periaqueductal gray matter, to geek out for a second, makes you notice when your freedom is being inhibited.
	Right.
	And then anger starts to come up.
	But then if that anger starts to come out, then, oh no, we can't talk right now.
	Right.
	Yeah, that makes sense.
	And then she puts on, she dresses like Samuel Adams.
	Well, I bargained with him about me doing the role.
	He told me... Uh, Drink, that's her mentioning her role in a movie.
	Oh, gosh.
	Well, the only role I'm concerned with is the lack of them you were taking in the hay!
	Oh, he's dying laughing.
	Oh, my God.
	Don't say what you said, just say what he said, okay?
	I'm not finishing any more drinks.
	I don't care what the rules are.
	He reluctantly kind of agreed to me working on this movie, or auditioning a job.
	It was a movie in London at the time.
	It's called Paramedic.
	Enjoy your weekend.
	I wore no makeup, or minimal makeup in the movie.
	No sexy clothing.
	She just talked about how good looking she is.
	I did everything I could to not make myself attractive and, you know, it's a lost cause.
	I was like, no makeup.
	And they looked and they said, I thought you were wearing all the makeup.
	And I didn't wear any revealing clothing.
	And they said, sweetheart, you'd be gorgeous if you wore a tarp.
	And I said, no.
	I said, no.
	Is it even if you dress like Shakespeare on the witness stand?
	I was there for my last, like, day or two of filming.
	Here, take this skull.
	She's holding it the whole time.
	We need, like, a humble brag counter.
	I'm going to, uh, ask you to turn to... It's not even, like, humble bragging.
	It's just bragging, bragging.
	...Defendants 310.
	She just looked like she was confused a little bit, like maybe she was surprised by something.
	Like 310.
	I can't count that far.
	I'm going to object to the exhibit.
	It's hearsay.
	More hearsay.
	about auditioning for another role in this time frame.
	Objection, Your Honor.
	I'm going to object to the exhibit.
	It's hearsay.
	More hearsay.
	Oh, she is getting ragdolled.
	She is getting ragdolled.
	She just can't get a rhythm going.
	I think they saw what happened yesterday, where she was going off, you know, these soliloquies.
	And then, and then you realize, and this, and they just decided that if she can't do that, she has no sort of factual leg to stand on.
	So let's make her have to stick to the facts.
	So, it's a pretty good contrast to show when she can talk and she can opine, which people saw yesterday and they felt like they were being manipulated, and then today.
	It's a good strategy for the attorney to say, let's make sure now that there's no hearsay allowed, there's no, you know, painting it with a brush of your point of view, let's stick to what is allowable, what is admissible, and she can't do it.
	This is really bad for her.
	And I still don't think he's going to win the defamation.
	Agreed.
	But I think he's won.
	He does just donate the money to wherever she said she was going to.
	Yeah.
	Or donate it to, like, the opposing charity.
	Yeah.
	Like, if she was going to donate to PETA, donate it to, like, the Seal Killing Foundation.
	What's the opposing charity for a children's hospital?
	Well, she said ACLU and then Jones Hospital, I don't know, like the hospital for the elderly.
	Yeah, instead of battered housewives, he just sends it to batter housewives.
	Yes.
	The Ghislaine Maxwell Legal Fund.
	and he was furious at me for, he found, like, a book about, like,
	Alright, you know what guys?
	I can't do this.
	I'm gonna be drunk.
	Let's, uh, look.
	We're gonna see you- Are we Thursday?
	It is Thursday.
	Shut up.
	Is it Thursday? It is Thursday. Shut up. Shut up you piece of shit. Hey, hold on. You're going to be in Lincoln,
	Missouri.
	Something like that, yeah.
	Lincoln, Nebraska.
	Where are you going to be?
	Lincoln, Nebraska.
	And Springfield, Missouri.
	Is there Springfield, Missouri?
	There's a Burger King there, right here.
	We'll just throw it over the fence.
	When you're done with it, take what you want.
	Just give me what you don't want and let's throw it over the fence.
	And then I'm gonna be in Spokane, I don't know, somewhere in July.
	It's a secret show.

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