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Nov. 9, 2018 - Louder with Crowder
01:09:42
#415 OMG GENDER POLITICS GAP! | Larry the Cable Guy Guests | Louder With Crowder
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Louder with Crowder Studios.
Protected exclusively by Walther.
and hopper Neglected by the system
In a world of deplatforming and bogus hate speech guidelines... Ain't nobody care about us.
...until one teacher... So why should we even try and fight it, Holmes?
...changed everything.
Because there's nothing cool about letting them silence you.
Because in my class, free speech is its own reward, homie.
And you don't have to go through life a victim.
That's a choice!
You come and live in my neighborhood for one week and then you tell me if you got a choice.
I'm the kind of G that little YouTube wanna f*** with till I serve them in the night.
Half Asian in the street light.
BANG This is the life.
This is the life.
You have to rage against the dying of the light.
you Dammit, you promised you'd fight back.
If match life is going to be worth a damn, you better give me your best.
I need your best!
Some of us don't have that kind of cash just laying around like USA.
And your friends six feet under already made theirs, dammit!
When I was your age, we didn't have Mug Club.
We didn't have anything like Mug Club.
I would have killed for Mug Club, but we have it now.
We have it now because it's 2016, dammit!
It is 2016!
But it's 2018!
Shut the f*** up, Jorge!
Shut the f*** up Jorge!
This 2018.
This 2018 Dangerous Mugs
Mugs Mugs
Mugs You're doing strange animal, I've got to follow, I'm a
speedy diss.
Thanks for watching!
Yeah, that's the guy who rolled the dice by having a terrorist in his studio.
Is Snake Eyes bad?
I think Snake Eyes are good.
It depends on the game.
I don't know.
I have no idea.
It's Thursday, the fan of the weekend.
Thank you so much for being here.
And like I was saying, in third chair today, we have Mahmoud Al Mahmoud, Director of Communications and Public Relations for ISIS.
Good to see you, Stephen.
Glad to have you back.
Good to see you here.
We hope that you see the softer side of ISIS.
Well, I will do my best.
Today I'm here to kill you with kindness.
I see what you did there, I see.
And also actually kill me, I believe.
Well, you know, eventually.
Eventually.
It's a long show.
He's just trying to deal with the nuance.
And then we have Larry the Cable Guy on the show today.
Because, you know, someone sent a bomb.
And they thought it was one of your flags.
It turned out to be a Get Her Done flag.
Did you see that?
No, I didn't.
That's the one I don't know.
We use Arabic.
You guys say that all the time.
I don't know when to believe you anymore.
Well, that could be what ISIS is.
No, no, we take credit for it.
We're like a frat boy who farts.
We take credit immediately.
G. Morgan Jr.
didn't bring any wine today, I guess.
I'm protesting.
Well, that's terrible.
I don't know what, but... He's protesting all things.
And Quarter Black, of course, producing for us.
Follow me on Black Twitter.
There's no Black Twitter.
It's called Worldstar.
The question of the day... Okay, who got it worse?
Tucker Carlson or Jim Acosta?
Right.
And do you think either of them had it coming?
Because I think the answer might tell us who you are.
Are you really offended by the Jim Acosta scenario?
Is there an equivalent?
I've been seeing this on Twitter.
People are like, well, you know, you think it's okay to revoke Jim Acosta's press badge, so then it's okay to do the kill the beast there at Tucker Carlson's house.
Ramming down his oak door.
I think it's remarkable.
Listen, of course, right off the bat, I want to address the Thousand Oaks shooting.
At the time of this taping, we don't know exactly what's happened.
I lived in Moorpark for a while out there in Simian Valley, close to Thousand Oaks.
Beautiful, great people.
My heart goes out to them.
Not enough info to really talk about it.
And I don't really want to get into the gun control issue right now.
You know, I used to say it's a winning issue for the right.
I actually recant.
It's won.
Done.
They make no headway on gun control when these issues happen, so it's like feeding a tumor.
Just let it die.
Just don't look.
What is ISIS opinion on American gun control?
You know, we are going to just sit with this one out.
Good.
Guns, you know, if you guys have guns, you want to shoot each other with guns.
I don't see why we're going to stop it.
Okay.
My sis, she's not a nice person.
I don't know about the killing with kindness.
All right.
Leading us before that.
You good, Gerald?
Yeah.
What is this?
You're doing this with your lips?
I had a thing.
Oh, okay.
It's almost like a baseball.
Leading the news, I guess, today.
Well, the least surprising news of the week.
Jim Acosta finally has his White House press credentials pulled.
The decision came after the now, of course, notorious standoff between him and President Donald Trump during press conference Wednesday when he wouldn't give the microphone back to an intern.
Now, of course, listen, on the right, or most on the right, see this as a given, while those on the left see this as Donald Trump driving his final nail into the coffin of modern journalism.
Well, I just heard the news today.
It seems my life is gonna change
We do not have the rights to that song by the way But no one does, and it's like... No one really cares anymore.
Look, the most dangerous place to be is between Jim Acosta and a news camera, right?
That's what he's doing reporting.
But at the same time, when Obama... I'm sorry, when Trump said to him like a despicable person... Whoa!
Did you just... I just channeled Obama, sorry.
Are you still quit caffeine?
Uh-oh.
Alright, well I'm gonna give you one more chance to wake up here, Gene Morgan.
No, whenever... Everyone in the studio, come on, let's confuse an Obama.
Yeah, let's do the West Side Story.
We're not doing West Side Story.
I refuse to do West Side Story!
Pick it up!
Alright.
So Trump said that he was a despicable person, right?
But he said he was a despicable person, and I was like, you kind of crossed the line there.
Yeah, look, reporters are supposed to be jerks sometimes.
You don't get mad at them for that.
You can pull their credentials, and he can go back there.
He just doesn't have a hard pass.
They have to reissue it now.
So no big deal, right?
I thought it was perfect.
And I'm not necessarily a huge Donald Trump, but I love where he goes, why did you call the caravan an invasion?
Well, that's what I think.
That's how I see it.
That's how I see it.
I see it as an invasion.
He goes, well, you think it was inflammatory?
No, no, no.
That's called a difference of opinion, okay?
He backed it up zero.
I mean, backed off zero.
He said, now you've got it to me!
Hey, don't blame me!
Is it that bug that you picked up from the toilet seat Joe Rogan was talking about?
Is it idiocracy?
I don't know.
I don't know.
You still doing well there, Mahmoud?
You seem confused.
You know, I just want to say that none of this stuff with the drama in the press room would happen if Gary Johnson won.
That's true.
See, this is what you guys do.
You don't have free press.
You don't have any of these issues, right?
People just get shot.
Well, yeah, sadly.
But I'm just saying, you know, Johnson president, we're not talking about this.
It's going to be a nice, happy place.
Mostly because he's a latent homosexual.
And that's not to say he couldn't hold office.
We'll talk about this later.
We're doing a Vox rebuttal because ours was so fun this week where they say more women need to be nominated.
But Gary Johnson always seemed very gay to me.
I don't know why.
You can comment, let me know what you think.
I don't know about that, but it is about time that America elects a president who doesn't know where Aleppo is.
It's freaking from the heart.
All right, in more serious news.
That would be good cover for you.
That is very selfish.
It's almost as though you have ulterior motives.
More serious news, of course, this week.
Another man was injured by yet another exploding bottle of Corona.
This has been going on for a while.
This is actually the third man.
I have the quote, third man in recent months to say a Corona bottle exploded while he was handling it, causing a gruesome injury.
The quote is, he said, it's like they're selling glass hand grenades.
Now, there's been no official explanation to you, Screw you!
It wasn't me!
Stop being so contentious!
There hasn't been an official explanation from Corona as of yet, but we should note
that authorities actually have been suspecting foul play as I always have.
Yeah, see? Oh.
I was wrong about you, alcohol.
You've found a kindred spirit, have you?
I'm more of a Bud Light Lime guy, said the douche.
Go ahead.
I kind of laugh a little bit at this, and I'm sorry, this may be like the dark side of humor for me.
I kind of think if we just step back, let the Corona thing take its course, all the Corona drinkers will be gone.
We won't have to worry about it a little bit.
If you drink Corona, this might be just... It's sort of like vaping batteries.
Yeah, exactly.
When it explodes.
We just step back and go, well... Let nature take its course here.
I really would have thought, you know, you wouldn't think the explosion, you'd think it's Mexican tap water would be the high risk factor there.
Well, that's a good point, actually.
Montezuma's revenge, I think, is something that's a real thing.
For sure.
I looked like you were about to say something there, but I never know because, you know, you're terrorist-y.
I was just up to something in my mind.
All right, turning to big tech, the YouTube gamer Shirako, am I saying that right?
Shirako?
Why would you ask him?
By the way, I want this man to be a guest on the show, so Shirako, Shirako, however it's pronounced, please, we would welcome you.
He had his channel deleted for sharing a clip in which he fed a suffragette feminist to an alligator in the latest Red Dead Redemption 2 game.
You know, I can't really do it justice.
Let's just watch the clip.
This is what got him banned here on YouTube.
Don't worry, it's coming, guys.
Alright.
Don't worry, it's coming guys.
Jeez.
Get the lasso.
There you go.
I've never played this game, but when I was watching this as a non-gamer... I can't stop playing this game.
Oh, no, no, it gets it gets it gets better it gets way worse
That alligator is in ketosis, I'm sure Ha ha ha ha!
High protein diet.
I had not played this game.
And I love this game so much.
Then his YouTube channel was reinstated, and I swear to you, he actually came back in the very first video, or one of the first videos, it's called Deporting a Mexican, and he played a game, now there's like a Red Dead Redemption, so this guy just doesn't care.
And it's a good idea, there's actually a strong debate going on in the gaming community, because if this is a violation of guidelines on YouTube, then everything is a violation of guidelines on YouTube.
Do you have any idea how many people you kill in these games and most of them are men?
That's all you do.
You blow people's brains out.
If you are starting to police what people do in video games, we are screwed.
Because every video game out there that's popular has stuff like that in it.
Or at least the ability to do stuff like that.
They said it promotes violence.
I'm like, what game that's fun doesn't?
I don't know, racing games?
It's a creative outlet.
Racing games?
No, that's violence.
You ram into people.
Tetris?
Little Puyo Pop?
I don't know.
Little Kudu Kudu Kudurin with the helicopter going through the maze?
Oh good lord.
No?
No, that's true.
That's not very violent.
He's like, in our countries that we represent, that's actually normal.
Let him say what he's saying, Mr. Obama!
What were you about to say there?
Well, I was going to express the plight of the turtles from the Mario Brothers.
You know, you stomp on the turtles like a bunch of savages.
We would never play such a game.
No.
No.
Stomp on those turtles.
What do you do with the turtles there in Syria?
We don't have turtles.
I've never seen a turtle there.
Really?
Yeah.
I don't know if somebody ate them all, but...
So it'd be a novelty.
Next time we have you in the studio, we should show you the turtles.
I would love to see a turtle.
I would love to go to the San Diego Zoo, if that's down the street or something.
I don't know.
No, we're nowhere near it.
A little bit of bigger land mass in Syria.
You know, when you're a foreign country, you think everything's close.
A 20 minute drive.
No, it's like people with Canada, they have no idea that British Columbia is nowhere near Montreal.
Finally, in sadder news, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg was actually hospitalized for fracturing some ribs in a fall.
According to the statement, Ginsburg, 85, experienced discomfort after she was going home Following the fall, I was admitted to George Washington University Thursday morning for observation and treatment.
And actually, an EMT on the scene is a Mug Club member and snuck us a video of the justice before bringing her to the hospital.
Help!
I've fallen!
And I can't protect Robey White!
It almost seems like that's distasteful.
Maybe a little.
Suddenly though, by the way, if Ruth Bader Ginsburg, the GOP Senate pickups seem like a little bit of a bigger win.
This is one thing we're talking about, Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
Have you seen the documentary on Netflix?
They've been trying so hard for so long to convince us that she's the sick, rapping grandma!
And I remember Matt Damon talking about, I want to see the actuary tables on John McCain.
Because there's a very strong chance that he dies and Sarah Palin is president.
With Ruth Bader Ginsburg or Bernie Sanders, it doesn't matter all of a sudden.
They're just holding out.
What is it?
Somebody said that it was like this ghoulish death watch, basically, for the Supreme Court.
I can't remember who.
It was Herman Cain.
Shapiro or somebody?
No, it was Herman Cain.
It's absolutely that.
It was Mr. 999.
That was a good plan.
It was a good plan.
It was a solid plan.
So I have a serious question for you.
I have a big problem with lifetime appointments for Supreme Court Justices for stuff just like this.
We get to basically sit and watch people wither away.
So they can't use it to profiteer off hover around commercials?
Well, that's also true.
And, you know, self-lubricating catheters, that as well.
But I do have a problem with lifetime appointments.
I mean, I don't think that Supreme Court Justices should be lifetime appointments.
I think they should have a term or something where if they get too old, we've got a situation where she's not able to really do the job.
She's not able to walk, apparently, and not fall.
She's asleep half the time.
Right?
Asleep half the time.
We shouldn't have this person up there just dying in front of everybody.
We should let them go off gracefully.
I don't know that I agree, but actually, we're receiving word right now that the notorious Ruth Bader Ginsburg's rib is actually not doing so well.
Yeah.
Stream down my face, where the arms were open, under the starlight.
Gerald seems surprised.
Yeah.
I should.
Almost as though he didn't read the show today at all.
Wait, there's a show?
The Terrorists!
The Terrorists!
He can't prepare.
How you doing there, Mahmood?
This is live, right?
Yeah, there are no second chances.
You're upset about lifetime appointments?
I want you to finish your point.
That's a serious point for me, though.
Moving on to the Vox Rebuttal.
Move the football right as I kick!
You obviously had some opinions on this, and I had you watch this before you came on the show.
Remember, I sent you this this morning.
I said, hey, we're going to be talking about this on air.
Yes, I watched this on my Kindle Fire.
Did you really?
I don't think you guys should do anything with fire in the names, okay?
Burning people alive, it just kind of brings up bad memories for us.
I don't think that's the brand.
That's an American attempt at a pun.
You shouldn't have it.
It's appropriation.
I can see your point.
I can see your point.
I don't see his point at all.
You don't have to concede any territory to him.
I'm going to use it.
The terrorist is being nicer to me than you.
He is.
He is.
I have no problem with it.
By the way, did you notice that one, the crazy superfan who really loved you there at U of M?
I did.
I did.
No, you didn't.
I did too.
I watched it.
I made it up.
No, I watched it.
There is not one.
No, she was dressed as Minnie Mouse.
She was a fan.
I wish that you knew what we were talking about half the time.
And the wake of the election... I'm like the Ruth Bader Ginsburg of this show!
Box!
No, because, you know, if she falls asleep, you can, like, snicker and make jokes about her, but you're still awake, so we can't make fun of you until you leave.
No, I love you.
I know, I'm kidding.
And you didn't wear the same colored shirt as I wore today.
Gosh, we were on a streak in like three days in a row, randomly.
We should coordinate.
Well, now he stole Quarter Black's thunder.
Oh, I did?
No, come on, that's not even the same.
I'm partially colorblind, that's not the same color.
I think Garrett is a Quarter Black and then the other three quarters is Dickie Greenleaf with the short-sleeved button shirt.
I'll own it.
Whatever the mixture is, it's very white.
What did we end up with?
I mean, it's three quarters.
We talked about Jim Acosta, we talked about Tucker Carlson, but Let's kind of get into the realm here of identity politics in the wake of the blue wave, as it's been called, I guess, by the left.
Like we said, see yesterday's analysis.
Win some, lose some.
That's really what the election was.
But in the wake of these elections, people are trying to read into something, I think, that isn't there exactly, and then push agendas that don't make sense.
So laying the groundwork there.
Enter Vox's latest video telling us all that we need to vote in more women because The 2018 midterms were huge for women candidates.
A total of 273 women were on the ballot in the 2018 midterms, representing both parties.
Now compare that to the past five elections.
That's a big jump in women candidates vying for office.
So women must be pretty well represented in the U.S.
government now, right?
Not exactly.
Okay, so here comes the doom and gloop.
First off, before we get to rebutting this, is there not one straight male capable of narration in all of the Vox studios?
Nope.
Not one?
Not one?
What's the hiring process like there?
Are you gay?
Check yes or yes.
Do you sound effeminate?
Deal.
Right.
You have a list.
An add-on is Latino.
Yeah, exactly.
It's like the opposite of when you purchase a gun, which by the way, I'm not one who sees racism under every rock, but when you go to purchase a firearm, it has Caucasian, black, and then it has Latino, and then afterwards it has non-Latino.
You have to check the box.
Specify.
Non-Latino.
Specifically singles out.
It doesn't say non-black, non-Asian.
How does that work?
Non-Latino.
I assume because of illegality of citizenship.
The share of women in the House and Senate has increased over time, but it's still well below the share of women in the U.S.
population.
The share of women in the House and Senate has increased over time, but it's still
well below the share of women in the US population.
And if you dig deeper, Congress looks even less representative.
of color make up 18% of the U.S. population.
population.
But before the 2018 midterms, they accounted for just 7% of Congress.
It's so boring.
So?
By the way, your mic is on while the clips are going, just so you know.
You're not muted.
Because I'm sure everyone would love to hear your commentary on what Vox is doing.
Or about women in y'all's culture, typically, right?
That's always going on.
I'm sorry, I was going to fall asleep.
Like Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and then crack a couple, you wake up like, what happened to my ribs?
They elect women here?
Could you imagine a dinner with Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Bernie Sanders?
It would just be the words, what, for 20 minutes.
I could get a transcript.
What?
You filthy bitch!
That's what Bernie Sanders, that's what he says.
That's what he calls her, his pet.
It's my pet name!
It's a term of endearment.
I call her my filthy bitch!
It's a term of endearment, really.
She doesn't like it much.
So, I don't understand the Vox video here.
Women make up 50% of the population, only 9%.
They only make up, what, 9% of construction workers?
Yeah.
Who cares?
Well, and they voted for these people, right?
The women vote here.
They vote more.
They can vote.
This is not like some advanced country where that is not the case.
They voted, this is who they voted for.
We did, because not enough suffragettes were fed to crocodiles.
That's true.
So we got to the point now where now everyone can vote.
One at a time, okay, one at a time.
So 50, they're like 50% of the population, they only make up this percentage.
Yeah, okay, they make up 9% of construction, but they make up 75% of education and health services, right?
This is something, people go into different fields.
Gender, I think we have an overlay here from the Bureau of Labor Statistics.
Since when does every job have to represent a mirror image of the census?
Of the United States demographics.
You know what else, by the way, doesn't mirror the full 18% they talk about the women of color?
Like 18% women of color?
Okay.
Only 30% of black women have high school degrees.
14% have college degrees.
So it would stand to reason that they don't all make it to the highest levels of government.
Though 68.5% do make it to the highest levels of the WNBA.
Well look, if Fox is gonna be calling people out, why don't they have a little bit more diversity on their staff instead of gay, lispy, Latino males?
That is a very good point.
That's like 97% of their workforce.
Except I can't confirm that this guy was Latino.
Oh.
I can just pretty much confirm that he's gay.
I was including Latino.
It's not like gaydar.
Well, I guess sonar would be, yeah.
Yeah, sonar is... It's pretty close.
Yeah, but... I'd be really surprised... But gaydar is usually, people usually, when they're looking and they're saying gaydar, so that's not... Yeah, well, we're hearing, so that's... Yeah, that's like... You're looking... That's like queer flicks.
Gay vibes are coming back to you.
Right.
You're looking, gay vibes are coming back.
That's why it's gaydar.
I mean, what's the over-under on this connection?
I don't understand.
Again, they're just picking something to complain about and saying, oh, well, they represent this number of the population, so they should represent this percentage of the electorate.
Why?
I don't, why?
And by the way, it changes every single year from straight male to gay, not at Vox, but from straight male to gay male, from white to black, from male to female.
I mean, you could follow a district, you could follow over the last 30 years, and you would find something different.
And you certainly would find some diversity of thought, unless it's in California or in New York, but that's really what we should be talking about here.
But again, Vox just, you need to vote for more women because, why?
They make up 50% of the population, okay?
Need I say more?
Yes you do!
Yes, we're expecting more.
I thought the argument was over.
Well, no, they've actually done studies in the most egalitarian countries in the world.
These gender gaps actually spread out further.
So in places where they have the most opportunity, the most equality, women tend to segregate themselves in careers and fields and industries more so than we see now.
So it's absolutely scientifically disproven.
Wait, what was that again?
So if you say 75% of females are in this workforce, and there's only 10% over here as engineers, in the most equal societies in the world, that gap is actually larger.
It doesn't get narrow, which is what you would expect, because they would have more opportunities, they're treated more equally, and it doesn't narrow at all.
It actually gets larger, because people self-select out of these things most of the time.
We have to move on from women and black women to the more important, more pressing issue.
LGBT women make up about 2.5% of the U.S.
population.
Don't buy it!
There are only two openly LGBT women in Congress.
Greater than sign.
That's less than 1%.
Screwed it up.
By the way, I just love how they toss in the T. Most of the LGBT, let's be honest, it's like 90% G.
And then so we're saying 2.5% no first off they now they've tried to it's they're trying to say
it's 5% of the population is gay 5 point something no it's it's not they've just realized that if
they keep bumping up the percentage that people will become more embracing of the policies and
cultural ramifications but only to maybe because it's weird.
I challenge anybody to take a melatonin and try to make it through this video it is literally so
boring.
The guy's voice is pretty monotone, too.
That's why I'm looking for everyone here to help snap it up.
I've got to deliver the information.
I need you guys.
I need to play straight, man.
Probably because it's weird.
We had the first transgender mayor of a Texas town on the show.
Oh, yeah.
And you know what?
The whole time, I was going to say, it was very respectful.
And we sat there, and we talked about sort of, we went back, I think, to Judith Butler, to Siphon de Beauvoir.
We talked about gender theory.
But the whole time, I'm just going in my head, this is weird.
This is weird.
This is weird.
That's what I did when I watched it.
It was very, very bizarre.
And most people probably go, now, doesn't mean that you're less than, doesn't mean that I think you should be the victim of a hate crime, but it means that if somebody is really weird, a good example, Leslie in Austin.
People remember him, he used to wear short shorts, you'd see his buttcheeks.
He passed away, it was really sad.
He was kind of like an Austin icon, right?
He was, I don't know if he was homeless, there was a legend kind of surrounding him.
The point is, he was weird.
But people liked him, they embraced him, probably wouldn't want him in the United States Senate.
That's why you've only got two.
You wouldn't have appreciated the dress codes.
I've not met Leslie.
You've not met Leslie?
Every town has a Leslie.
Okay.
This is it.
This is interesting country.
By the way, hey, if you're not a Mug Club member, you can watch the show every single night.
Hit the notification bell if you're subscribed on YouTube, because subscriptions don't show up in your subscription box anymore.
And we do recommend, of course, that you join Mug Club, unless you want the whole show to go away.
And we have an upcoming Change My Mind.
We might be back at TCU on Monday, or we might be back there Tuesday and broadcast live.
Who knows, TCU?
Who knows?
You thought you'd run us out in a rail, but that's coming soon.
It is on, baby.
I will say that someone might have a case of the Monday.
Alright, next clip.
Take a look at this chart, showing what 28 congressional candidates spent time talking about.
Women were much more likely than men to discuss issues like education, climate change, and minimum wage.
And they're 200% more likely to be blindsided by a third world war because national security was nowhere on that list!
It was nowhere to be found.
First off, the sleight of hand, he said, like, they're more likely to talk about these issues, which... Right.
Okay, first off, you're really trying to straddle the fence here, Vox.
Like, they're more likely to have mentioned these issues at one point according to the Vox chart.
Well, who gives a rat's ass?
But let's go with, okay, these are the issues that matter most to women.
Climate change, education, minimum wage.
You think this is going to convince everyone who's watching?
You think a chart saying that women tend to care, not about national security, not about the primary purpose of government, keeping its citizens safe, that the fact that they couldn't care less, that that's going to, I guess, appeal to more voters?
I am dumb.
I shouldn't be dumb.
I shouldn't say I'm surprised you're dumbfounded.
I'm just disappointed.
Look, I understand that politicians are going to pander to their audience and they're going to talk about the things that are important to them, but if I see climate change and there's 50-some-odd percent of women talking about it and not saying it's a hoax, I'm not voting for that person, or at least challenging it as being the 95 or 98 percent of all scientists agree kind of thing.
So if I see that on somebody's talking points, I'm like, I don't know if you know what you're talking about.
I'm just trying to drum up votes.
But that's actually code for you're going to hit her, which I don't support.
We tried to convince people with pie charts and stuff like that initially, at the beginning.
Not that effective.
Not that effective.
That you're a religion of peace?
Well, we started.
We started.
Hey, but you know who told you that?
President Ross Perot.
Oh!
So he won in y'all's country, huh?
Today is just a third-party extravaganza.
Kerry Johnson and Ross Perot.
He didn't have an answer.
He's very niche with his American political interests.
Alright, let's go to the next clip.
There's even evidence that women make better lawmakers.
One study found that female lawmakers bring in 9% more federal spending for their constituents than their male counterparts.
And that's on top of the fact that women lawmakers sponsor more bills than male legislators.
So in case you're confused, yeah, Vox is saying that women make better lawmakers exclusively because they increase federal spending and bureaucracy and red tape.
Is that bad?
Also, by the way, snakes make better pets because little known fact, they're more likely to bite.
You think this is a selling point?
And potentially kill you with venom.
The Brazilian wandering spider is great to keep in your tray because it causes priapism.
You mean a deathly boner?
Boner spider, that's right.
Yeah, but when you say it that way, you say it like it's a bad thing.
The perfect example of Vox right here just assuming that everyone consuming any and all media is a far leftist.
And this is why I just think there's this divide.
It's not even because of people obviously trying to break down Tucker Carlson's door or Antifa dragging people out of cars and beating them up.
It's because of an out-of-touchedness, a blind spot that is growing so large.
I think they sat around and said, yeah, we really need to get people to vote for more women.
Yeah, let's tell them that they spend more and create more bills and they care about climate change and not the military.
How's that not sexist?
Women spend more?
Isn't that the thing with shopping?
Okay, women in government.
All right, listen, I'll hear you out.
I'll hear your case.
Maybe there's a case to be made here.
Fine.
But then their reasoning is the opposite of that.
Next clip.
This success might actually help explain why women are less likely to run for office than men in the first place.
Many women underestimate their qualifications and perceive gender bias among voters, which discourages them from running.
Because of these hurdles, only the most talented and ambitious women seek office.
Okay.
These women who were elected during the 2018 midterms will help inspire other women to run for office in the future.
And as more women join government, their representation will become more and more normalized.
And eventually, a video like this won't even be necessary.
It's not necessary.
Yeah.
It's not necessary now.
Hallelujah.
At all.
Yeah.
Well, you know, it's almost like your job is to make Vox fun, but instead you sort of just said, let's let Steven take this one.
I have the impossible task.
I'm trying.
I'm trying to educate you on Vox.
I'm just mad at you for making me watch Vox videos.
I know, but you forget about it every day.
Play another song, man.
Look, it's all I got.
It's all I got.
Well, look, I wish they would have been supportive of women candidates, I don't know, maybe when Sarah Palin was running as the first vice presidential candidate.
And absolutely zero.
No, but she was a whore.
That's what I heard.
That's what everybody said, right?
Allegedly.
Now, I'll give you this.
Sarah Palin's a little quirky, for sure.
No, hold on a second.
Please know that was satire.
Gerald took what I said.
He's like, I'll give it to you.
No, no, don't give it to me.
I don't want you to give it to me.
That was satire.
I do not think Sarah Palin... I've met the woman.
I've spent time with her husband.
She's not a whore.
Good Lord!
Janice Rossi is a whore.
You will hang people at the front without even realizing it.
It'll be sarcasm and he will quote you and like hand this quote to your enemies.
Steven said she's a whore, fine.
I don't know her that way.
Go ahead and make your point completely irrespective of mine.
Sarah Palin's a whore, got it.
She's not a whore obviously, but I wish that the support would have been there.
I mean the only thing that people could do when she was running for president was make fun of her.
I thought that we would have the kind of, and I don't mean this in a bad way, but I thought if there was going to be a woman card, something that got women to go out and vote in a way that they hadn't for Republicans in a long time, it would have been the first vice presidential candidate that was a woman, that was a female.
And it wasn't.
The exact opposite thing happened.
Yeah, you know why?
Because she wasn't super qualified and because John McCain wasn't a great candidate.
Republican women actually care about qualifications and actually care if you represent their values.
Now, that being said, I think Sarah Palin would have made a better vice president than Joe Biden, namely because she doesn't, you know, molest biker children.
But on the other side, Cortez, she's not qualified.
No, that's the point.
I know that they're supporting her.
Yes, but that's the point.
It's the same problem you have with any conservative, with any Republican.
It's like herding cats.
I think it was actually Thomas Sowell who said that.
Because they're independent thinkers.
They don't just support the person, the ticket, no matter what.
Okay, Republican women didn't say, hold on!
Vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina buddies forever!
It's like a BFF locket!
That would be weird.
But that's what they do with Cortez, all the women.
It doesn't matter that she's a crazy, bug-eyed socialist.
They don't care.
Out of the examples even that they use in there, I think they have Senator Marshall Blackburn, staunch conservative, I think led the investigation into Planned Parenthood.
Remember the Salem Baby Parts, those videos?
And then another one of those examples is that Omar lady, who is an extreme leftist Muslim, which might seem almost to be an oxymoron, loves abortion, hates Israel, and is opposed to cutting insurance payments of convicted terrorists.
Is she popular over there, Omar?
Yeah, I have the bumper sticker on that camel.
Right next to Gary Johnson and Ross Perot.
You know it.
That camel's full of stickers, huh?
The camel's not very happy about it, I'll be honest with you.
Especially because he used a nail.
They don't have stick technology over there in Syria.
I don't think so.
We're working it out.
Are you working it out?
It really is remarkable to me the identity politics that they play with women.
They assume that everyone is going to care just because someone is a woman and running on their ticket.
And if you don't, you should care now.
Why?
Because.
Vagina.
You've convinced me.
It's like they don't even go out and create content that's designed to convince anybody because it assumes everybody agrees with them.
You can be a woman and be opposed to abortion.
Or at least, you know what, you can be a woman and be opposed to abortion at 26 weeks, like in Colorado.
You can be a woman, by the way, you can have tits and not want to pay a 52% income tax.
How about that?
Right?
You can have ovaries, or you can have a uterus.
And you know what?
Actually want a strong national defense.
You can be slightly more feminine.
You can have wider birthing hips and not want 4,000 people coming from the Honduras and the Caribbean, invading your country, not wanting them showing up, knocking on the door and getting right in.
You can be a woman and actually think all of these things.
You can hold all of these values dear.
But the left wants to, no, no, hold on a second.
If you have oversized mammaries, I think men actually have mammaries.
Apparently, apparently Steven Seagal's lactated.
I read a story about how men apparently can lactate.
Are the mammaries larger on women?
Is that what makes them breasts?
I don't know.
I'm not entirely sure of the biology.
The point is breasts.
The point is you can have breasts, a vagina, and a uterus, and have your own point of view, except in the world according to Vox.
But this is the kind of stuff that keeps them up at night, and we have more important things
to deal with.
I feel uncomfortable with you here.
He's gone to see 72 virgin daiquiris.
That sucks.
He's gone to see 72 limes.
I think really 72 just means countless in your culture, doesn't it?
Oh yeah, I forgot.
Right, listen, we have to get going.
We have Larry the Cable Guy coming up after this and Mahmood El Mahmood, everybody.
I don't know.
I just want to, you know, laugh about things every night. But
God bless America.
Bill Cosby says that being declared a sexually violent predator is going to damage his reputation.
Not available for comment.
Where all the women that he raped... Ah, s**t!
Sh** Hello, this is Canada
Dim Sum time!
It doesn't stop here It's a one-way.
It doesn't stop.
It's spinning.
There we go.
Keep clinking.
You've got to be pulling.
You've got to be pulling.
Unrecorded message.
You've got to be pulling.
See that?
That means my shoulder's working now.
Look at this.
I'm getting old.
For those who don't know, for those who are not club members, of course, I fell asleep.
Woke up with blinding shoulder pain.
As one does.
And now I'm fine.
I still don't know exactly what happened.
All right, our next guest.
Very excited to have our next guest on.
Many of you know him, of course, as Larry the Cable Guy.
He was telling us off here.
Probably pretty sure you're, hopefully you're aware his last name is not actually The Cable Guy.
His real name is Dan Whitney.
You can follow him on the Twitter at GetRDoneLarry.
Dan, thanks, slash Larry.
I've not done this before.
Thank you for being on, sir.
Well, man, thanks for having me.
I hope you know I gave up a colonoscopy to do this.
Did you?
Yeah, I feel pretty good about it too.
Well, I don't know if we can say the same for the practicing physician, but who knows?
You might be into some weird stuff.
Now, is that dip in your mouth right now or what is this going on?
Well, I've been on a diet for a while and I'm a sugarholic, so I try not to eat sugar.
So yeah, I put a little Levi-Garrett in every now and then, so I don't have to eat sugar.
Okay, all right.
But you know what, and you know how that'll end up.
I'll probably end up eating sugar anyway, and then I won't have any teeth.
So there you go.
Right, there you go.
Then you just end up addicted to both sugar and nicotine.
And the next thing you know, you're going, we see you.
It's not that bad.
I didn't think you could see it was in there.
Yeah, I can see a little.
Yeah, I can.
Now we can see your pores.
I think now I'm just as acquainted with you as a physician.
No, our good friend Owen Benjamin actually, he used to dip and he talked about how then he just had to stop because he did a lot of dip.
I'm a cigar guy.
I'm not necessarily a dipper.
You know what?
Dude, I'm a cigar guy too.
I love cigars.
I love Alec Bradleys.
I love the anniversary Padron.
But I gotta tell you, I quit.
I went, I went dead stopped.
I just quit.
And I'm touring with Foxworthy and we're doing these things called backyard barbecues.
It was me and Foxworthy and Foghat and Eddie Money and a Marshall Tucker.
We had this big, this big thing for our satellite radio show.
And man, I was losing weight.
I was doing good.
And as soon as I walked backstage for the first one, The whole counter is donuts, candies, cakes, pies.
And I walked right out and I told my tour manager, I said, Beaman, go to the store right now and get me a bag of Levi Garrett.
I cannot eat this stuff.
I'm doing too good on my diet.
And he said, yeah, but you quit Mr. Whitney.
And I said, I know, but I'm just going to do it.
Two things I love about that story.
First, that Larry the Cable Guy is a diva.
And second, that for some reason your tour manager, when you tell the story, sounds like you as Larry the Cable Guy.
You give him that character.
I get confused myself sometimes.
Well, I think it might surprise a lot of...
I don't think it surprises a ton of people.
Listen, someone from the South leans kind of more center-right.
Let me ask you this.
As a character, Larry the Cable Guy, sometimes it's easier...
I know when we do characters here on the show, sometimes you feel invincible because you're like, well, I'm not necessarily saying that.
But I think it also surprised some people with some of your tweets recently talking about kind of comedy, the state we're in, the ability to make some cerebral points that maybe people... Yeah, go ahead.
Look, I'm not a... Look, you're not an idiot to play an idiot.
I mean, you gotta be pretty... Look at Steve Martin.
Steve Martin played an idiot great.
Steve Martin's not a dumb guy.
I'm not a dumb guy.
I love that style of humor.
You know, I grew up in a real small town in southeast Nebraska.
I'm a country kid.
I grew up around livestock.
I was a pig.
I raised hogs.
So it's not like I was living in an apartment in New York or L.A.
and I said, you know how I can make money?
I'll turn into a redneck.
I mean, that's not the case.
I grew up that way.
And I moved to Florida when I was 15 years old, and I started doing stand-up in my early 20s.
Well, when I moved to Florida, I naturally gravitated to all the Florida Cracker kids.
Right.
Because they grew up like I did.
They grew up in the lifestyle that I grew up in.
And so, when I started doing stand-up, It was regular standup.
I had, you know, in Steve Martin's book, Steve Martin in his book that he, I remember when he was talking about the process of standup and he says, it takes a good 10 years for you to really find out who you are and to be comfortable in what you're doing.
And that's what it took for me.
You know, I, uh, I started doing characters and, and I did all kinds of characters.
And then one night I did this cable installer and it was funny.
And I remember after I got done doing it at the comedy corner in West Palm Beach that night, David Spade and Rob Schneider were there and I got done doing the character and they both came up to me and said, man, that's hilarious.
That's what that could be a Saturday Night Live character.
You should keep working on that.
And of course, as a comic coming up, I'm like, man, how cool is that?
Yeah.
To make a long story short, I don't want to bore you with this whole thing.
No, I'm very interested.
I'm still waiting on my 10 years to get comfortable with myself, so we'll talk about that after.
Well, some people it happens quicker, but some people it does.
Most people.
So I started doing the character on a buddy of mine's radio station in Tampa, 95 YNF.
It was hilarious.
It was really popular.
Then I got syndicated into some other markets.
And Steve, when I tell you this as a fact, I never meant to ever do it on stage.
It was theater of the mind.
It was radio.
I was always a fan of the show All in the Family.
Sure.
All right.
RG was hilarious.
And the show was hilarious.
Well, I understand what you're experimenting.
And then sometimes something kind of becomes your calling card.
I mean, for example, I never expected to actually interview Wendy Davis as a
tranny on the state Capitol.
It just happens because she was like, Oh, this will be a great photo op.
My wig and hat blows off.
I'm going on my covers blown.
And it became one of the most iconic moments in all of this program's history.
How did you get so close?
Can I finish my other thing real quick?
No, but you've had some great tweets lately, because the left has come out and talked about
how a right-leaning perspective cannot be funny, or they just don't understand the medium of comedy,
which of course I disagree with. Tell us a little bit more about kind of your tweets for people who
aren't necessarily in the know, aren't following you, and what your reaction has been.
I definitely will. Can I finish my other thing just real quick?
Yes, sorry, go ahead.
So anyway, to make a long story short, a buddy of mine billed me as Dan Whitney, aka
Larry the Cable Guy at his comedy club one night in Florida.
And I went on stage and the Larry the Cable, and I was doing fine.
I mean, I was a funny comedian.
But the Larry stuff just killed him.
So he came up to me.
I couldn't follow it.
You know, I tried to go back into my own act and I couldn't really follow.
People are yelling, you know, I get done.
I'm signing autographs and taking pictures.
And my real name's on the board.
It says Dan Whitney, a.k.a.
Larry, the cable guy.
Right.
People are coming up.
Boy, Larry, we just love you.
We just love.
And so he came up to me and he said, you know what?
I'm going to erase your name.
And I'm just going to leave Larry the Cable Guy up.
He goes, can you do your whole show like that?
And I said, look, I talk like that all the time with my buddies because all my buddies are super southern.
So we just talk like that.
Yeah.
So I went on stage the second show and I did my entire show like that.
And pretty much the rest is history.
I ended up syndicating myself on 27 radio stations across the country.
People always say he came out of nowhere.
He was an overnight sensation.
That goes back to what Steve Martin said.
It takes a good 10 years.
I did.
I called radio stations five days a week, every day for 13 years.
Yeah.
And I developed an audience.
And so that's how my career happened.
Now, with your question about what I was tweeting out, I always get irritated.
Comedy is so subjective.
Obviously it's subjective.
It's like soda pop.
There's different flavors and you can like a flavor and not like a flavor.
But I always get a little irritated when I see people come just flat out on the internet.
First of all, they don't know anything about the business and they go, there's not one funny conservative.
Conservatives just aren't funny.
There's no funny conservative comedians.
And even when you present them with facts, and the way I say facts is, here's how you can determine how a comedian is successful by the free market.
The free market dictates who they think is funny and who they think isn't funny.
And if you go by the free market, There's a lot of funny conservative comedians out there.
And I even I even text out, you know, said they put out on the Internet a few years ago, the top 20 selling comedy artists in the history of the sound scan era.
Now, this is factual.
These are album sales.
Yeah.
Concert The blue color comedy tour dominates 10 of the 20 spaces.
Right.
And even when you say and not only that, Adam Sandler was on there, who's definitely a conservative type of media.
Sure.
Jerry Clower was on there.
So when you look at the facts, obviously, there are Well I think, and this lends itself to kind of what else you were talking about, and where they sort of leverage this.
The media right now, you talk about Netflix and Hulu and Amazon Prime, it's really dominated now, it's become kind of like three main networks again.
And they're actively pushing, they're not going to include a lot of conservatives typically.
We've had people on the show who've talked about that.
What was this, just Nanette, was a recent special, what did she say?
I'm not going to do jokes because there's nothing funny about being humiliated.
Actually, there's a ton funny about being humiliated.
I get humiliated all the time.
It depends on how you look at it.
The industry is trying to manipulate the free market in a lot of ways.
Like Owen, our good friend, you know, we've lost agents and management.
How do you view that and do you think that these gatekeepers are going to go away as we continue down the trail?
Well, I you know, I I have no idea.
I just always I've always just thought that the free market is where you get your reward.
If you're a comedian, I mean, Jeff Boxworthy told me a long time ago, Jeff taught me so much and stand up.
And, you know, one of the things that Jeff always told me was show business is called show business for a reason.
Everybody likes to do the show.
Nobody likes to do the business.
Right.
There's a lot of people funnier than me.
There's a lot of people funnier than Jeff.
But there was nobody better at the business than me and Jeff.
And so if you're good at the business, the show part's going to come.
Yeah.
And so I always learn that from Jeff.
But Jeff always told me this, too.
He said, look, you're don't ever.
He told me right off the bat.
He said, don't ever expect to win any kind of award from your peers because you're already
coming out doing a Southern character.
And they, for some reason, Hollywood does not like that.
And the proof is in the pudding because, you know, Jeff has sold more albums than Bill Cosby and Richard Pryor combined.
Plus he hasn't raped anyone.
And he's never ever has won a Grammy Award for his albums.
I mean, there was nobody, nobody even touches Jeff.
I mean, Jeff was selling every album he put out.
He was selling two, three million copies.
Yeah, I know.
He's never won it.
So when people say to us, you're never gonna win anything like that.
I always say it doesn't matter.
The proof is in the free market.
Right.
And one thing with comedy that's so, that's so, like you talk about being subjective, that really is so volatile.
I remember when I was doing a, I don't know if you probably don't remember these, NACA conference when I was starting in stand-ups.
This is a NACA conference.
Oh yeah, I told you.
Oh my gosh, this is a hell.
Carrot Top made a killing!
He did make a killing and I got murdered.
I remember I went, I went out there And I was Canadian at this point.
I was 18, I think, my first NACA.
And I was always, I've always been inherently conservative, right?
I didn't picture myself as a political comedian, but I was always politically incorrect.
And I went out and I had some material.
I think I had some jokes about, about Islam.
And you could hear the audience get really offended.
And I remember I was brought backstage afterwards.
Like, yeah, you can't, you can't do this here at NACA.
But I remember someone was telling me at that point, they were talking about how you were the biggest name in comedy.
I heard these, I won't talk about them publicly, but the numbers that you were getting paid for every show.
I was like, oh my god, I couldn't even possibly imagine that.
I remember before that it was kind of Dane Cook, and then for a while you have Amy Schumer,
Kevin Hart, but really when you look at Steve Martin it does seem like comedians stick around
for a very, very long time, obviously, and they have their audiences.
But the person who is number one, it's...
It's like the heavyweight championship.
It's really hard to hang on to that spot.
It's usually not more than a year or two, and then they come back around.
Is that something for you that was ever difficult to kind of deal with these, like I said,
the volatility, the variance there from year to year?
Well, you know, I was always, I mean, I liked everybody.
I mean, Steve, I mean, I've gotten along with, obviously I'm a conservative comedian,
but I've gotten along with all sorts of comedians.
I mean, I'm friends with Louis Black and I'm, you know, I'm friends with Tom.
My buddy Tom Ryan's a super lefty.
And sure.
I mean, I'm Tom.
I'm friends with a lot of comedians that I don't agree with, but I'm a guy that loves the craft of comedy.
I'm a one liner comedian.
I was a fan of all the old guys coming up.
So I do a lot of one liners, but I'm a fan of the craft and I'm one of those guys that I may not agree with your politics.
Matter of fact, I may hate your politics, and if you have a show, I probably won't watch it.
But I find you funny.
You do things that are funny, because I love the way you constructed the joke.
So I've always been like that.
I'm that way too, except my philosophy is if you want to masturbate in the green room, I'm not going to watch it.
That's kind of a hard line for me that I set.
Well, a lot of people have to set certain things.
We have to set certain boundaries.
Healthy boundaries.
Last question, subject to everyone's mind that we of course cannot talk about, but it occurred after we originally spoke about you coming on the program.
You've been in the national news recently for a story that you probably didn't want to be.
When you saw these images, when you read the news, were you surprised?
Well, I was surprised.
It made me sad.
It made me angry.
And, you know, they said that, you know, and I got to say that They had like a get-her-done, somebody put a get-her-done on one of those things that were sent out in the mail.
And it wasn't spelled right, first of all.
I don't think get-her-done is usually spelled right, so at that point it's tomato-tomano.
But you know, it just frustrates me and irritates me.
Whoever does anything like that is pathetic and they should spend the rest of their life in jail.
I you know, I the my phrase get her done has been around.
I've been saying it since I had a copyrighted 91 and it's been used from everybody from Little League baseball teams to football teams to kids in hospitals.
I don't know how many times that's been the rallying cry and cancer hospitals for these kids, but it's a great phrase.
It's a fun phrase.
It's intended to be empowering for people that are We don't want to continue on that because we're not going to give him any more attention than it's worth.
But it was, listen, it was the elephant outside the envelope that we had to address.
It is at Get R Done, Larry.
We don't want to continue on that because I don't give him any more attention than it's worth
But it was it was listen It was the elephant in the in the outside the envelope that
we had to address it is at get our done Larry Dan Whitney
Aka the cable guys get her get her. Well, I know but people will misspell it
Get.
Our.
Done.
Larry.
Dan, thanks so much for being here, brother, and be well.
Give your wife her phone back, since you stole it for the technology.
I'll do it, Stephen.
I appreciate you, man.
Thank you.
Thanks, man.
take care and we'll be back after this to wrap this up in a nice ribbon.
I'm with you.
I'm with you.
And we'll be jumping, jumping, jumping.
Wallahu Jalabu Dhu, Bil'aqwa Al-Mas'alik.
Wallahu Jalabu Dhu, Bil'aqwa Al-Mas'alik.
I'm with you.
I'm with you.
And we'll be jumping, jumping, jumping.
Wallahu Jalabu Dhu, Bil'aqwa Al-Mas'alik.
I'm with you.
I'm with you.
And we'll be jumping, jumping, jumping.
Wallahu Jalabu Dhu, Bil'aqwa Al-Mas'alik.
I'm with you.
I'm with you.
And we'll be jumping, jumping, jumping.
Oh, hello.
Thinking of joining Mug Club?
Don't.
Mug Club is terrible.
It's two hundred and fifty dollars.
That's not an accurate price point at all.
Eh, no.
No, it's not.
I would have thought you'd do better propaganda.
I really was hoping for some propaganda.
Hopefully you don't pull out the deer knife.
Okay, okay.
$250, but you get a mug.
And that is all.
No, you get a lot more than a mug, actually.
You not only get the show every single day, but you also get every single show on CRTV.
Yeah, the whole catalog.
That's not $250.
It's $69 for students, veterans, active military at ladderwithcutter.com slash mug club.
Yeah.
I'm not a rocket doctor, but that sounds like $250.
That does not sound like $250.
It is surprisingly affordable, and it's what allows us to keep doing this show every single day, and things like Change My Mind, Crowder Confronts, you know, all the things that you've come to know and love.
But if you don't want them, that's okay.
We can just have Mahmood al-Mahmood take over, because I'm pretty sure that he's in a panel somewhere, some kind of a board with Susan Wojcicki.
What's she like, by the way?
Uh, who?
lateralcrowder.com slash mugclub.
Stephen.
♪ Intro Music ♪ ♪ Intro Music Continues ♪
♪ Intro Music Continues ♪ ♪ Intro Music Continues ♪
♪ Intro Music Continues ♪ ♪ Intro Music Continues ♪
♪ Intro Music Continues ♪ Last one.
That was called the cocky diver with no tolerance for cold who didn't realize that there was an undercurrent.
Go back and watch it.
You don't understand.
It makes perfect sense.
It's a long name for a dance.
Thank you to Larry the Cable Guy for being on the show.
And thanks so much to Mahmood Al-Mahmood.
We actually had to have him escorted by armed security.
Yeah, had to bring him in.
It was a whole big deal.
Speaking of armed security, I changed my mind next week.
Could be live broadcast from TCU on Monday or Tuesday was maybe when we're going to go there and show up.
Who knows?
Who knows?
The chalk doesn't lie, but the chalk is very nonspecific.
Very vague, Chuck.
Well, we're not being very vague by saying maybe we'll be descending upon the campus Monday or Tuesday.
By the way, we've gone through the golden ticket sweepstakes.
And I should also say, we're not doing a show the Thursday of Thanksgiving for people before people send their email.
Put that out there.
Don't use this next email that I'm going to release here to send your complaints.
We always get that when we talk about, oh, we're hiring.
Here's where you send your email.
People are like, hey, I think that you should do this.
It's not really what it's for.
Here's a picture of my penis.
And we're like, hold on a second.
Are you a Fox News staffer?
And it always turns out they are.
So we are hiring people.
This is something that I want to make sure we're very, very specific.
So follow these instructions here.
This comes to me from Smooth Manny, who is in charge of the edit bay.
We're hiring one person right now.
Main qualities, expert in Photoshop, also After Effects and Premiere.
Needs to be a master at image comp, color correction, particularly something called... I don't know what photo bashing is exactly, but I know that it's a thing you need to know.
Obviously, you have to be a fan of the show.
Familiar with the show, have a congruent sense of humor, timing, and story flow through video editing and creative choices.
So the reason we're being very specific here is because a lot of the times people send an email and go, I have no qualifications, I can't do any editing, but I really like the show.
Can I work there?
We're like, I appreciate it, but we can't necessarily hire you.
We will have some PA positions opening up soon, and that's something that if you're less skilled in editing or you're less seasoned, we bring in a lot of people.
As a matter of fact, you were effectively a PA when you first came in.
Yeah, I was.
I was for a while.
And you moved your way up.
Climbed something else you must be willing to relocate and soon if not don't waste the wonderful staff time here
because they had to relocate They're in charge of relocating people if you don't have to
be where the studio is located So if you if it's like well, I will I not relocate then
this probably isn't the position for you You must be able to work under tight deadlines work
This is still I'm steel manning you here as Owen puts it making
This is the most difficult possible scenario because we don't want you to, we have too many, we have like hundreds and hundreds of resumes from the last time.
So we're trying to filter this out because we want to find the right person to help the folks that are in the edit bay.
Tight deadlines, work well with others, be capable of implementing constructive criticism.
And listen, work long and hard until the project is done.
This isn't the same, it's not like most workplaces.
There aren't weekends if a project is not done because people want to kill you.
So if all of this still sounds like you, This is what you need to do.
You need to send an email to IAMYOUREXPERT at louderwithcrowder.com.
You are to title your email, IAMTHEEXPERTYOUSEEK-2378.
The numbers.
So again, quote, this is exactly what you sent, IAMTHEEXPERTYOUSEEK-2378.
Include some sample Photoshops or examples of your incredible photo bashing skills along with a resume, reel or portfolio if you're mainly a Photoshop expert, and three reasons why you should be hired above Everyone else, failure to do so, failure to follow any of these instructions will result in immediate dismissal of your submission.
And Courtney will find out.
Yes, and Courtney will find out.
Courtney will find out.
Courtney was, but it was also very specific.
She's like, I don't want to look through 500 more resumes, and if I see another dick pic, I'm like, I'm sorry, Courtney, that you had to go through that.
We should put a filter.
We should put a filter on those.
PA.
Don't include any weird images of yourself.
Actually, do.
But don't send it here.
Send those to Courtney, specifically.
Slide into the DMs.
So we do have a busy week next week.
We do have another Life Advice program that will be occurring, and I changed my mind, like we talked about.
And this is something, actually, I had, kind of, this is the last segment of the week, which we often... I don't even know, it became, was it Crowder Closes?
Is that what it's called?
Crowder Closes.
It's just something that we've done for a long time.
The last segment of the week is kind of an opportunity to talk with you guys and hopefully offer something a little more earnest that other shows don't necessarily do.
This is something I actually asked to have framed.
I have this bookmarked on my computer.
And I'm actually going forward and I'm going to have this framed in my office.
And it might seem a little dark.
It's actually a Daily Beast article.
It was at the front page.
It was called, The Unmaking of a Conservative Pundit.
And it was a hit piece.
It was a hit piece.
Caitlin Dixon wrote it.
Caitlin Dixon wrote this.
Unmaking of a Conservative Pundit at Daily Beast.
One of the biggest news websites at the time.
And I remember her... This is when I learned about journalism, too, where things that I thought were off the record ended up being on the record.
And this was entirely written to... I don't know why it was written.
I was a kid, and I had left Fox News.
We kind of separated, and it wasn't as... Looking back, things weren't handled right, and there was a non-compete.
and which they were right to enforce. I didn't really know what I was doing but
I know I remember how down I felt because at that point all of it what was
written here too was mostly real. So imagine you're me, you're a kid and
someone goes on one of the biggest news websites in the world and writes the
unmaking of a conservative pundit just talking about what a failure you've
become.
I just remember how deeply it stung.
It was something I didn't really like to talk about for a while.
So before this show would have existed or us, we were about to cross over the 3 million subscriber mark, it would be something that if anyone even brought up would sting.
I don't really want to talk about that.
That's one thing I will say I appreciate about President Donald Trump, because he has these hit pieces all the time.
He doesn't care.
I think he's wrong a lot of the time, but he keeps going.
Screw them is his philosophy, which sometimes is correct.
That's going to be the theme of this credit quote, is screw them.
So I remember actually, too, this spurred an argument with my parents, which I think many of you have probably had.
I remember my parents talking about, we were talking about God,
we were talking about kind of Christian theology.
And I'm not a prosperity gospel guy, where it's like, God wants you to have a million dollars
and a G7, I don't know if it's a G7, it's a plan or it's a G6,
no, that's not what I'm talking about.
I remember my parents talking about how good, God wanted good things for me.
And I was bitter, this was a point in my life I was pretty bitter, and I remember I pointed
to all the successful evil people in the world.
And not just the Saddam Husseins and the Bin Ladens, but like even the Alec Baldwins of the world.
I remember using them as a specific example, because sure enough, I just watched The Edge again
very recently, and I was like, well, listen, you know, God, if you say that good guys end up doing well,
What about, what about the Saddam Husseins?
What about, like, Alec Baldwin?
He's one of the most successful actors, right?
At this point, Dirty Rock was really big.
He's, you know, Alec Baldwin.
We know he's a piece of crap.
And my parents, I remember it didn't matter what they said, they wouldn't convince me that I was wrong.
But now that I've grown up, I have realized how wrong I was.
Because the truth is that you don't really know what somebody else's life is.
I don't remember who said this, but ugly things happen in pretty houses.
Let me ask you this, would you trade your life with Alec Baldwin's, I think, what is he on marriage number three now?
I believe estranged from his daughter.
A lot of these celebrities have How often do you see a starlet who has it all, right?
You see this all the time.
And we see envy is, like we talked about, the left is really, they cloak envy as empathy.
And I think it's one of the most common human traits.
It's the one that we need to guard our heart against probably the most is envy.
I know certainly myself, I can't speak for anybody else, I know it's something that comes very naturally to be envious.
How often do we see someone, I don't know, a starlet or a star, and you're like, oh man, they have it all, and then all of a sudden they go to rehab.
Some kind of substance abuse.
Or you see the perfect couple, right?
How many benefers have there been now, and then bang!
Domestic abuse, or they get divorced.
You don't know what their life is really like.
And here's something else, just as surely, you don't know how your story ends.
And at this time, this article, when was it written?
I didn't.
The show that you see didn't even exist.
The pre-daily show, remember, hashtag never daily, that didn't even exist.
And not only is there something, you know, there's self-doubt that everybody has, but this journalist, I learned the hard way, this journalist, this authority figure, was publicly declaring me to be a wash-up.
So I have the self-doubt going, like, maybe, man, you're 20, you're 25, and you've peaked.
I don't know if you, I don't know what you go from.
And then someone else is saying, hey, the whole world, front page, he's peaked.
He's done, down for the count.
Front page.
What does that do?
That creates more self-doubt.
And it's a cycle.
And yes, this writer sucks, but I just feel like I can't control exactly what everyone else does with their lives.
All I can control and all you can control is breaking the cycle for yourself.
Only you can break that cycle.
There's nothing more crushing, I will tell you, that's why I have this here, and that's why I will have it framed in my office, to remind me there's nothing more crushing than having someone else publicly confirm your self-doubt.
You can take it to a smaller... Maybe, I don't know, you're self-conscious about your weight and someone tells you to get on a treadmill, you fat bastard.
I had that once in grade school.
Not grade school.
What's eighth grade here?
What is it?
Junior high?
Junior high is... I don't know.
I have no idea.
I don't know the school system.
Maybe you have a terrible zit and you go to a party and someone says, like, yo, what's that?
Is this the costume party?
I had that exact thing.
I had such a bad zit in my chin.
I remember this girl asked me if I fell off my bike and I said, yeah.
And you could see my soul leave my body.
If you had an ultra slow-mo cam, you could probably see the moment where my heart broke, snapped in half like Ralph from The Simpsons.
It's crushing!
It can be absolutely crushing if someone else confirmed something you're self-conscious about.
Something that you have self-doubt about.
If you let it.
Or, you can choose Screw them.
Maybe it's deeper than that.
Maybe it's deeper than a zitter weight.
I'm just trying to kind of ease us into this.
Maybe a self-doubt that you think you're undeserving of a good life.
Maybe you've achieved something pretty great and secretly, maybe deep down, you think you're not good enough.
And someone comes along and says, man, she's way out of your league.
She's not sticking around.
A lot of us have encountered that.
I've encountered that as well.
By the way, I won't say they're entirely wrong.
You can let it crush you, or you can say, screw them.
Maybe you break off from the world's most successful cable news channel, and you're filled with crippling fear and doubt because you don't know the next step.
And then maybe a front-page journalist declares you dead to the world.
You can let it crush you.
And for a while I did.
I had a pity party.
Or you can choose to say, screw them.
And you know what?
It could happen again tomorrow.
I could get banned.
We saw this with the, thank God the YouTube feminist crocodile feeder.
I don't know if that's the term.
God, he got his channel back.
I could get banned tomorrow.
Torched.
The Pitchfork mod could come for us.
I know it happens.
It could happen.
DOA.
It'll hurt.
But screw them.
Make no mistake, right now when everyone else, I think this is why I talk about this so often, when they're calling for civility, and they're calling for unity, I'm not.
I'm not calling for violence, I'm not calling for rudeness, but I am calling for everyone who's out there who's been silent, or who's scared, or who's been mocked, or intimidated, who's been accused, I don't know, of being a gang rapist, you don't need to hold hands and sing, screw them!
You can choose to say screw them.
I would say that if someone accused me of being a gang rapist, you don't have to be on board.
You don't have to find unity with people whose sole purpose in life is to crush your spirit.
And here's why.
Why do you stage criticism?
Because you do need to have wise counsel.
We've talked about this a lot.
You need people around you who you trust.
People who will offer you genuine criticism so when you're wrong, people will call you on it.
But the reason you have that closed circle is so that you don't listen to all of the voices that don't matter.
And you shouldn't listen to them.
Why?
Because your story isn't over yet.
And here's the thing.
Everyone out there, to some degree or another, is great at something.
I've talked about that.
Find what it is that you're great at doing.
You are destined for great things.
It may not be what you think is great.
It may not even be something that you're anticipating.
It may not even be on your radar.
But you're destined to do something big.
God wants good things for you.
Okay, you can say the universe wants good things for you.
Your tantric yogi instructor for all I care wants good things for you.
But the world needs good things from you.
I need good things from you.
This entire team needs good things from you.
And we'll both be damned.
All of us be damned to hell if you're going to let somebody else pen your last chapters.
I remember this happened and it stung so badly.
Picture you're that kid.
You're going, man, I don't know what I can do for the rest of my life.
I've got nine months here where I've got to sit and just kind of stew on this decision and hope that I stepped out in faith and hope that it's right.
And someone calls up and says, hey, you know what?
I'm doing a piece, a profile piece on you.
Can we talk about some things?
Oh, yeah, I guess.
Oh, sure.
Yeah, this will be off the record.
And then the undoing, undoing, unmaking of a conservative pundit goes on to a news site that you read every single day.
That sucks.
It sucked, and I keep it there because, you know what?
I keep it in front of me, and I read it regularly.
You know why?
Because I go back to, oh, wait, hold on a second.
There was a stage in my life where I thought this person was right, and they weren't.
I was letting that person write the next chapter to my life.
You don't have to do that.
You can choose to let someone else not only dictate the next chapter of your life, not only write the next portion of your book, but you can choose to let someone stop you from writing it yourself.
Don't.
You can also choose... screw them.
That's OK.
There's nothing immoral about that.
It's certainly not any less virtuous than this idea of unity out there that we try to feign as though we're going to find common ground with people who want us dead, with people who want us completely incapable of seeking gainful employment, people who want the world to think that we're gang rapists.
No.
No, no, no.
I think that you sit down, determine what you want in life, chart a course, make a plan, And if the people don't fit in with that plan, if these people are trying to stop you from reaching your goal, guess what?
It's OK for you to say, screw them.
That's it.
That's the message this week.
I'll see you next week.
I think it's probably Monday or Tuesday.
I don't know.
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