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Nov. 16, 2018 - Louder with Crowder
01:18:10
#419 CROWDER'S THANKSGIVING EXTRAVAGANZA! | Nicole Arbour Guests | Louder With Crowder
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Time Text
Right?
Sorry.
Bullshit!
Sorry.
That's it!
What? What?
If I don't clear my sinuses, I won't be able to do my chin compression in the morning.
Gee, if your kid spills his milk, what do you do?
Deplatform him?
What?
What is that supposed to mean?
Well, you're not a very tolerant person.
Look, you've been under my skin since you first got on YouTube, starting with your stupid mug club.
God, you're a tight ass.
How would you like a lawsuit for hate speech?
Oh, and authoritarian too.
Nice personality combination.
Authoritarian and intolerant.
That's borderline Zuckerberg.
Screw you!
You ruin YouTube.
You spew hate speech.
Your mug clubbers run around commenting on everybody's videos.
Who generated millions for the site?
I even let you host my channel so you wouldn't look like authoritarian a**holes, which you most certainly are!
I'm the authoritarian a**hole?
Yes, you're an authoritarian a**hole.
My channel was a perfectly pleasant place until you started screwing with my subscription boxes.
Oh, I messed with your subscription boxes.
Who was it who invented YouTube in the first place?
I'm curious.
Who was that?
Boy, you're an ungrateful jackass.
Well, go ahead.
Ban my channel.
See if I care.
I'll have my half-Asian lawyer tie you up so tightly in court you can't even move.
You're no saint.
You got a free platform.
We let you build Mug Club.
Now you have 3 million subscribers who enjoy watching your boring, informative crap.
I mean, didn't you notice on the airplane when you showed me a video and I started reading about the policy violations, huh?
Didn't that give you some kind of clue, like, hey, this guy's not even enjoying it?
You know, every story isn't worth providing references.
You have to discriminate.
You have to choose sources that are funny or mildly amusing.
Your sources are a miracle.
They're none of that.
They aren't even amusing accidentally.
Honey, I'd like you to meet Steven Crowder.
He has some really informative references in his latest rebuttal.
Oh, and here's a gun so you can blow your brains out.
You'll thank me for it.
I can tolerate Trevor Noah videos.
For days I could watch Anna Kasparian tell me how better than me she is with a smile on my face.
And people would say, how do you stand it?
And I'd say, because I've watched Steven Crowder videos, I can handle anything.
And you know what they'd say?
I know what you mean.
Louder with Crowder guy?
Whoa.
Oh, and here's an idea.
When you're telling your little jokes, have a punchline!
It makes it so much more enjoyable for the viewer!
You want to hurt Mug Club?
Go right ahead.
If it makes you feel any better.
Yeah, we're an easy target.
You're right.
We list references too much.
We also laugh too much.
I'm sure I could be a cold-hearted Google executive like you.
I don't like to lie to people.
Well, go ahead and say what you want.
Mug Club's not changing.
Because I... I like Mug Club.
My wife likes Mug Club.
My members like Mug Club.
We're the real article.
What you see is what you get.
You're not alone.
You're a strange animal.
That's what I know.
You're too strange animal.
I can't follow.
I'm a speedy diss.
Yeah.
That's a scientifically inaccurate dance because, little known fact, they hadn't domesticated horses.
Oh, no.
Not at all.
The Native Americans.
The First Nations.
Did you know that?
Also, they probably wouldn't have been smoking a pipe like this because this is briar and they were not that advanced.
I don't even know.
Can someone actually tweet me?
Let me know.
Did natives invent the corncob pipe?
Or was that later on?
What about the button nose?
I don't think so.
I have no idea.
Damn you, Owen!
What about the carrot pecker, which we all didn't listen to?
All right, by the way, in case you haven't noticed in third chair, that is Owen Benjamin.
He is the racist pilgrim today.
Hello!
And I have quarter black carrot producing with me.
We have at G Morgan Jr.
sommelier.
Apparently that's hard.
What's the wine of the day?
We have Firewater in honor of our brethren.
What does Firewater mean?
First Nations people.
Whiskey?
Bourbon?
I thought Firewater was anything with alcohol.
That's why I'm saying that.
That was very nondescript, but it's your one chance to plug what you do.
I don't do bourbon.
And you didn't even bring the right kind of liquid.
I don't do bourbon.
Alright, well there you go.
So just bring it in his mouth.
That's actually a little distillery from Northern Michigan, and we have Nicola Arbor on the show.
We're going to be bringing back Hipster Erhobo.
Question of the day, by the way.
We'll be rebutting the Young Turks, so let me ask you this.
What do you think is the worst example of leftists sort of using quote-unquote the Bible to push an agenda?
I think claiming the Bible is pro-choice is right up there, which we'll be rebutting at the time of the Young Turks pretty soon, but I'm curious as to what you think.
Atheists, Christians, list your religion and what you see is the most egregious example there.
The Bible says, insert whatever whatever here, could be social Health care could be abortion. I have no idea. Hey, let's
really quickly before we move on What are you most grateful for uh, Owen Benjamin in this
moment right now? It was my friendship with you. Thank you very much
Oh, yeah, still mine. You just don't get killed. Oh Because I was ready now before the air
Yeah, before we went on.
I did threaten to kill them both and bury them in a shallow grave mounted on top of each other, which, let's be honest.
There's no coming back from that.
If you were found one on top of each other, or facing each other, actually, in a shallow grave, two giants.
Like, hands together.
It doesn't matter what your wives or fiancé, it doesn't matter what they say, no one will believe you.
Yeah, and that's one reason why I made sure I was grateful for our friendship, because I realized how vulnerable I am.
I'm grateful for my wife and kids, and I'm also grateful for Mug Clubbers.
I was going to say that.
I am truly most grateful for the people who support this show and the wonderful life that we have as a... I just hooked my headphone here.
I'm grateful for my wife and kids.
I'm grateful for my wife and kids, and I'm also grateful for Mug Clubbers.
I was gonna say that. I am truly most grateful for the people who support this show,
and the wonderful life that we have as a...
I just hooked my headphone here. I don't know what happened.
Not thankful for these headphones, Harold!
No, I'm thankful for Mug Club, absolutely.
I'm really grateful, and I'm grateful to live in the United States of America, no longer the hellhole that is Canada.
There you go.
Alright, leading the news, before we get to Nicole Arbor and her rebuttal of the Young Turks, creepy porn lawyer, Michael Avenetti, he was arrested on felony domestic violence charges.
Yeah.
It's funny, TMZ is an actual news source now, but this comes from the alleged incident occurred Tuesday night, but there was another confrontation Wednesday between Avenatti and the accuser of security.
It said Avenatti screamed repeatedly, she hit me first.
That's always a good sign.
You never want that to be the thing that you yell.
This is the guy who was going to pull up the string that would unravel the Trump presidency.
It's like, you beat the hell out of that broad.
She hit me first.
Go back to your porn lawyering.
All right.
To be fair, you pointed this out.
Yeah.
We really just missed the warning sign.
See these actual quotes from Michael Avenatti's website.
Yeah, Owen found this.
This is his actual website.
Don't tell me what cases you've won.
Tell me who you've beaten.
Yeah, there you go.
If you can't take a punch, you don't belong in the ring.
These are actual quotes from Michael Avenatti's website.
And finally, the most distasteful.
Gotta backhand yo bitch to keep yo pimp hands strong.
Almost seems as though she hit me first, so I had to backhand the bitch.
Look, next time the police are in a building waiting for you, do not run into the lobby saying, but she hit me first!
Yeah, exactly.
That is admitting guilt right there.
That is admitting guilt.
That is a bad lawyer.
Oh!
Who hit second?
No one.
And also, if you're an outspoken male feminist that judges everybody, don't PUNCH WOMEN!
Yeah, that's a better first starting point.
I am grateful for Owen actually following that logic trail to the end.
He did a good job.
You kind of dropped the ball on that one.
Yeah, sorry.
In cable news, uh, news, Fox News has joined CNN now in their fight over the press access to the White House.
This comes from CNN.
So CNN reporting on Fox News, I don't know, it's like the inception of crap.
Quote, in fact, Fox went further than most of the media companies on Wednesday, issuing a statement saying secret service passes for working White House journalists should never be weaponized.
Some are accusing Fox News of selling out, but really, and I know a lot of people behind the scenes, good people, they just felt bad for the Acosta.
Mr. President, will you come out of Russia?
Mr. President, are you causing the hurricanes?
I'm not going anywhere, sir, until you respond about Stormy Daniels, Mr. President.
And then he hit a lady with a microphone and said, she hit me first.
Yeah, that guy gets it.
Look, I understand why Fox is fighting this.
You want to make sure that free speech is protected, but pick somebody else to come to the defense of.
I just dislike Acosta so much.
This is one of those times where my beliefs are almost like, eh, kind of let this one slide.
I think pretty much everyone I've spoken with shares the opinion.
Acosta is a dick.
Yeah, exactly.
He was being an ass by continuing to press a question.
It was irrelevant at that point.
He had been given a chance.
He should have moved on.
He didn't actually hit the woman who reached for the microphone.
No, he stuck with her arm.
That's all.
Nobody hit anybody.
No, nobody hit anybody.
Especially not if you were going to say that Corey Lewandowski, like, oh, he didn't rough a girl up.
Well, he certainly roughed her up worse than Jim Acosta did.
And let's be honest, Jim Acosta's not capable of it.
And I don't mean like he's not capable in temperament.
I mean, he's physically not capable of roughing up a woman.
It's the vegetarian, right?
The guy pushing on the door that can't get it going.
Yeah, exactly.
I think it was a little bit of a mistake.
They could have just waited like a couple of days and then took his hard pass and probably would not have had the firestorm that they had.
I bet you they probably wanted to do that, but they had a meeting and Trump was like, no, you're gonna take it down, damn it!
Listen, just show me that!
Let's kill his unborn child first!
He won't know where it's coming from!
I appreciate that it's straightforward. At least he just revoked the past.
Whereas a sneaky guy like Bernie Sanders would just do it behind the scenes.
Let's kill his unborn child first! He won't know where it's coming from!
Then revoke the son of a bitch's ass!
He's definitely a poison guy.
Bernie's a poison guy that you don't see coming.
How's that vino tasting?
I notice your goblet's half empty.
What do you see in his half full?
You're dead!
Finally, by the way, another news.
A New Jersey man was pulled over for a DWI, which we had to explain today to our Canadian friend.
He was like, that's not his DUI.
I'm like, no, DWI is worse.
Guy pulled over for a DWI, which he then blamed on how badly the New York Jets suck.
Direct quote.
By the way, this isn't the first time the Jets have been used as an excuse for a crime as seen with OJ Simpson's Notorious, if the Jets did it.
That was a distasteful book.
of whiskey and suspected marijuana in his car.
By the way, this isn't the first time the Jets have been used as an excuse for a crime
as seen with OJ Simpson's Notorious, if the Jets did it.
That was a distasteful book.
Oh yeah, I remember that book.
And this person, by the way, this person, not to be confused with the recent suspect
arrested on charges of the murder of Tony Wieseck, remember that?
Also, he too blamed the New York Jets.
We're going to let that one ride.
Oh my gosh.
I actually thought it was the sharks.
How many bullets, Chino?
Is it enough for you?
Enough for me?
They were just like, oh my god, stop pointing a loaded gun at all of us.
No, I'm going to make all of you pay!
She had bad finger control.
And then Christopher Walken threw off a yacht.
Oh, that's right!
It's Natalie Wood!
Oh, wow.
That was a bizarre death.
That is a really bizarre death.
You're aching to get down a conspiracy trail, aren't you?
And you always pull me out of my conspiracies.
No, no, no, no.
You're good at pulling me out of them, though.
Stay with us, Owen.
Stay with us.
That one is like, I mean, he went on a dinghy for no reason.
I just forgot the name of the actor that played number two in Austin Powers.
I just forgot his name.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't know.
Does anyone remember?
Come on.
This is going to bother us for years.
You know who I'm talking about though.
There's a G in there and a W. Man, what's his name?
I don't know names very well of actors.
I know who you're talking about though.
The guy who played number two in Ocean Powers.
I know exactly who you're talking about.
I can see him.
I can see him.
This is worse than smallpox.
Way worse.
Now I know exactly what the natives felt like.
I'm gonna think of the name in like 20 minutes and act like I knew it the entire time.
Walter something?
Wayne something?
This is W-E-T.
No, that's not IMDB.
That'll be a waste of both your and our audience.
All I gotta say is- This is a program that will play hipster or hobo in 10 minutes.
Warren Warring- Hold on, I think Gerald had something substantive.
If the Jets can be used as an excuse for, you know, driving drunk with an open container, we're gonna have a lot of people from Cleveland calling in with that deal.
I mean, you've got one or two games in two years?
I mean, that's the city that I would expect people to be killing each other over.
They'll just pull people over and they'll say, what happened?
I don't know, why don't you check with Los Angeles?
All right, so we're going to rebut this video from The Young Turks.
It was a recent clip.
I mean, listen, I don't really care so much.
But it was so nonsensical.
But I've heard this before.
I've seen the bumper stickers now.
Republicans, conservatives, they're only pro-life until you leave the womb.
And then they don't want to provide you.
And then they list all the free crap that they want.
It's like, we want free health care.
We want free school and free Nestle Toll House cookies.
That's a human right.
We need that.
I like your cut of your jib.
Also, give him the goblet.
I really, so I get bothered when they, but now they flat out are saying that abortion is actually supported by the Bible.
Let's start this off.
So voters in both Alabama and West Virginia approved ballot initiatives on Tuesday, which was the day of the midterm elections, that will update the state constitutions to declare that abortion rights are not guaranteed.
And of course, this is a move that will severely curtail reproductive rights in the states.
Now, I'm going to keep it real.
These ballot initiatives straight out ban abortion.
Is there anything less black, less keeping it real than an Armenian next to an Armenian genocide denier?
I'm going to keep it real!
Are you going to deny the Armenian genocide?
No, tank!
You try to slip that one in here, that's bullshit!
Gosh, the pillow talk they must have.
But what she basically just said is voters in a democracy got together and said what they wanted.
I'm just translating exactly what she just said.
They're mad that states are passing measures saying that there's no constitutional right to abortion.
Right, exactly.
And they're doing upside-down language like they always do.
Reproductive right.
It's killing that... Reproductive right is to reproduce.
So it's the right to end reproductive right?
It's tolerance, intolerance, and acceptance.
In your words, Anna, what is the most important step in reproduction?
Not.
Yeah.
Not even.
So how do you reproduce?
You don't.
It's like Joey Triviani when he said, well, what if we're gonna be locked up for this long and we'll need to reproduce?
And he brought condoms.
That would be the way to do it, Joey.
Remember that episode?
That's what it's like.
But everybody has rights!
All right.
And this is like, you were making this point here before the show, that it's a scare tactic about... Yeah, absolutely.
Every time that we hear somebody start talking about abortion, they're saying, oh, it's because the Supreme Court's going to overturn Roe.
Right.
And all of a sudden, you're going to have to go to different states.
Like you said, all it does is basically say that there's no right to it.
And at some point, maybe Alabama, if it gets overturned, says, we don't want that in our state.
Oh, dear God, you have to go to another state if you want to do it.
Fine.
Go do it.
Right?
That's the worst thing that happens is that you are inconvenienced when you are trying to end a human life.
I'm okay with that.
Yeah, I know.
Seems like it's a little less convenient for the life that's being ended, of course.
Yeah, exactly.
Also, who wants to go to Alabama?
Who wants to be in Alabama?
It's a great reason to leave Alabama anyway.
There was a whole documentary on Netflix, I can't remember, someone can probably remember the title, and it was right next to RBG, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, where they show her doing the curls on the BOSU wall.
And she's like, it's functional fitness!
And then they started talking about how they're going to overturn Roe v. Wade.
They asked Kavanaugh, and he said, no, I have no interest in overturning Roe v. Wade.
No.
That's the thing.
It's just, it is a scare tactic of the left.
Here's what it comes down to.
Some states don't think you have a constitutional, a birth right to kill a baby.
And we'll get into more details on that.
And by the way, it has nothing to do with the Bible.
There are scientific arguments for this, but they make the biblical arguments.
That's what we're taking on today.
Next clip.
Now in Alabama, it goes a little further because they would give personhood rights to a fetus.
A zygote.
Sperm, though... Thank you for clarifying.
Sperm is not life.
It's only life as soon as it enters a woman's body.
Uhhhh... Come again, stupid?
No!
It's only life after conception!
Yeah.
Right?
This is the point they try to answer, like, well, sperm is... If that were the case, then Gerald Sockdrawer would be absolute genocide.
Whoa!
Pouting me!
What's going on?
Yeah, it's so funny when people say a factual statement sarcastically.
It's like, this is a hat.
And that's supposed to be an argument.
It's like, no, sperm isn't life.
Life is only after conception.
And by the way, this is a commonly recognized medical fact.
Before you start getting into your metaphysics chank with the Bible and all that, it's a medical fact.
Conception marks the development of a genetically distinct individual with its own unique DNA.
This isn't coming from the Westboro Baptist Church.
PubMed.
How about that?
Does that work for you, Cenk?
And Anna, who's with Armenian Genocide Denying Cenk?
I don't know how you live with yourself.
It's so funny to me when Anna's like, Steven Crowder is a garbage person.
You've sold your soul!
To a foreign caliphate and sit across from a man who denies the worst tragedy your people have ever incurred!
We sell mugs!
By the way, he's tasting funny.
I have the last laugh!
By the way, I don't know if you know this, but we recognize it on a legal level in the United States.
After conception, it's illegal to kill a fetus when you're committing a crime.
The law specifically defines an unborn child.
Here you go.
Here's the law.
We have an overlay for you.
Something that the Young Turks don't provide.
We combat with facts.
Do you have a source or an overlay?
Flinching like Will Ferrell in Elf when he samples a perfume.
I know, and that's the thing, too.
In the law, it says unborn child, and yet she uses the term zygote, just so that people will think, oh, this has got to be like some kind of cell thing that we can all just do away with.
ZYGOTE!
We're playing her alphabet game!
I know, that's a great word for it!
Zygote's a great word.
That's a great one.
We warm up for the show, we do the alphabet warm-up, where A, and I have to say, you know, albatross, and B, beta, whatever it is, and you go around and you have to use it.
And we're always at a loss for Z. Zygote!
I would just like for them to say it's an unborn child.
Please.
It is an unborn child.
By all definitions that we use in this country, it is an unborn child, even legally.
Let's just say unborn baby.
There you go, baby.
I'm okay with it.
The unborn.
You know people are hiding the eight ball when they use these language tricks.
Yeah, of course.
No one ever goes up to your wife and they're like, can I feel the fetus bump?
Right. It's a baby bump.
And then they switch to like, I'm still a clump of cells.
Right. I know.
So to be fair, Anna actually does put her hand in the zygote and say,
I'm better than you. All right.
I can hear it kicking.
I think I upset it.
Let's go to the next clip.
Mission accomplished.
All those people who get shot up throughout the country because our politicians refuse to do anything about gun violence.
Adults.
Those people's lives don't matter.
What?
Adults.
All the children who are living on the streets right now who have no food because Republican politicians believe in cutting funding for food programs.
She's keeping it real.
Those people's lives don't matter.
Those children's lives don't matter.
Who cares about them?
All of those children who are risking their lives right now to cross into the United States, cross through Mexico to the United States to seek asylum out of fear for their own lives.
They're not people.
We don't care about their lives.
But as long as there's a zygote in a woman's body, that's when it matters.
Oh, that word!
She said it again!
She uses every minority group in the playbook.
Migrants, mass shooting victims, the poor, I guess, as a minority group now.
Claiming the Republicans don't care about these people's lives.
Hey, everybody, that's the straw man alert!
Straw man alert!
Straw man of the day!
The end of the day!
That's a long one.
It's obnoxious by design.
We want to drive this point home.
She's obnoxious by design.
This is something that creates this false... And I really am grateful that, again, to Mug Clubbers and people out there, we don't have a foreign caliphate funding us, but I'm grateful that people are starting to catch on.
Yeah.
Let me ask you this, okay?
Is not having stricter gun laws... Let's even go with you saying, we need stricter gun laws.
You know, in other words, like, all semi-automatics need to be banned.
In other words, all firearms people use to protect themselves.
Is not having your laws that you want... Is that the equivalent to murdering people?
Is not granting people automatic citizenship because they showed up and knocked the door the same as murdering them?
Is there any Republican who wants to make it legal to murder poor people?
Or immigrants?
Or argue that mass shootings should be legal?
No!
It's only the left who argues that the murder of an entire group of people, namely unborn children or Zygotes!
That it should be legal.
Which, by the way, is basically the definition of genocide.
You're picking a group of people, and you're killing them because they're different.
Why are you killing them?
Because they're small.
I mean, zygotes.
Talk about othering somebody.
Look, anytime that you sit down with somebody on the left that genuinely has a concern for people, you realize that nobody wants poor people out there.
Nobody wants people to be shot up.
Nobody wants kids who are fleeing persecution, though that's not the case, to have to just sit there and look on the outside looking in.
We basically have all of the same concerns.
We just have an idea for actually solving the problem.
They have an idea for throwing money and power at problems.
And to be fair, by the way, I think that a lot of them are misled and they do think that will solve the problem.
It doesn't.
It doesn't.
There's no system that has brought more people out of poverty than free enterprise and a free enterprise capitalist system.
What the Turks want, what the TYT want, and Armenian Genocide Deniers Incorporated.
By the way, yeah, look up the LLC.
That's how it was filed.
Well, no, and one of the things she says, too, Republicans are the most, they are the most, they're absolutely the most charitable people out there.
Studies have shown this.
Statistically.
Brooks, who really cares, is a book that everyone needs to read.
It's not even close.
Yeah, we want these things taken care of, and you're saying that we obviously don't, and I'm like, this just doesn't add up at all.
Yeah.
No, when I watch Anna Kasparian talk, I'm grateful that I'm not, I don't have Middle Eastern overlords.
Yes!
Yes!
Because like be like that no because the arguments the same argument with death penalty
It's if you see an unborn baby is the same as a murderer It's like one is not committed heinous acts and can't fit
society like these arguments are just so mind-numbing that I'm like
Don't take money from caliphates, right? Yes. I got that as Speaking of which, by the way, hit the notification bell if you're subscribed, because subscriptions don't mean a whole lot, apparently, on the YouTube.
Or join Mug Club.
$19 annually.
$16.99 for students, veterans, active military.
Not only do you get the daily show, but you get everything there at CRTV.
It's what keeps this program going.
We don't have Al Jazeera money.
What was the first round of funding?
Was it $20 million?
And then there was a whole second round?
I'm just like, oh my god.
We don't have 40 people here working in an office going, ugh.
Cenk's doing the duck fat again.
All right, next clip.
I don't know if you know this, Hannah, that way they can tell you what to do with your body.
That's exactly right.
I'm sure that was just a random coincidence.
Sorry about life.
It's never been about life.
There might be some good religious people out there who genuinely believe that life is a moment of conception.
Oftentimes those are the religious people who don't try to force their religion down our throats.
We're not.
But the ones that we do hear from don't really care about life.
What they hate is the fact that women get to choose their own fate.
They hate the fact that women get to control their own bodies.
They want to go back to the good old days.
What about the woman's body that hasn't been born yet?
Yeah, I know.
It depends.
No, it's a zygote, and I'm better than you.
And a zygote.
One thing I've never understood, again, they're attributing motive here, so let's just go with what it is that they present.
But what is it?
With the left's obsession with this, men don't want women to be able to control their own bodies.
It's an argument that's used ad nauseum.
Can you name me one policy?
Can anyone tweet me?
Comment below, Instagram, wherever you can reach me or Owen or Jill.
Can you name me one policy from conservatives, Republicans today, specifically designed to forbid a woman from making her own choices outside of abortion?
One!
Can you think of any?
Is it possible?
Does the argument hold water?
No.
The Young Turks are wrong.
Is it conservatives, by the way, who want to prevent young girls from choosing?
Remember that callback?
Don't you remember where that callback is from?
Choose!
Don't.
You don't pay attention to the show at all!
Dark Crystal!
Hardly do.
No, it's Ashley Judd.
We don't choose!
We get our periods, alright.
I remember that now.
I remember that now.
Do conservatives want to prevent young girls from choosing what school to go to?
From choosing which health insurance plan they can purchase.
From choosing what kind of a car they can drive despite the gallons you, the miles per gallon.
From choosing to lawfully purchase a firearm to enjoy her God-given right to self-preservation.
Or how about choosing whether she can drink a big gulp or not?
Do any republic, have they proposed any legislation?
No, no, no, no.
How about straws in California or salting on the table in New York?
Some of the most obscure examples possible.
I'm sure it's just a coincidence, right?
All of a sudden they want to choose whether women can use straws.
What about choosing who comes into our country?
That's one, too.
It's like, my country, my rules.
Right.
And by the way, hey, there's another thing, too, we haven't really brought up.
Selective service.
The government actually controls men's bodies.
My body, my chair, and I'm in Normandy!
What the hell happened?
What happened?
That was so fast!
That's so true.
I've never even heard that point.
That's amazing.
No, that's true.
We've talked about that.
You don't pay attention to the show.
That's been on the show before.
I knew that one.
I appreciate it.
And some say that his fake crappy feathers were tied too tight.
No, here's the truth.
The only time that conservatives ever step in on choice is when it involves choosing to kill a living being other than yourself.
Which, by the way, is entirely consistent.
Just watch the Young Turks for a week, and you'll see them trying to eliminate choices.
Your right to choose, be you male or female, but let's go with female today because that's what they're on about.
About five different topics on any given day.
And that's just the marquee show.
I don't even know about the other ones where they do pop culture, I guess, with a buzz cut and a lisp.
Let's move on.
And if you're a woman, get out.
Get out.
Before Kavanaugh and the other guys take away Roe vs. Wade.
He said he wouldn't.
Otherwise, they're going to take away your rights and they're going to imprison you because of their religion.
That's what they do in Saudi Arabia.
That's what Alabama's turned into.
Oh, so we're equivalent to Muslims.
Right.
Right.
But I thought Muslims were, by and large, peace-loving individuals.
He's saying that Republicans want to take away your rights and imprison you because of their religion?
Except, by the way, none of these laws we're talking about mention religion at all!
Zero.
Zero!
This is something that the left actually hates to admit, but the changes in attitude toward abortion laws since Roe v. Wade, and the reason you're having a more pro-life generation, arguably, than ever before, is entirely due to scientific advancement.
Yes.
In the 1970s, maybe you could actually excuse people who didn't understand that they would just think it's a clump of cells.
With today's technology, ultrasounds, whatever, take your pick, all of the technology that we have today.
Which technology?
Let's go with all of it.
Let's make it all admissible.
All technology that we have, an understanding of human DNA, an understanding of development in the human body, and viability.
It supports, scientifically, the idea that unborn babies are human beings.
They're completely viable, by the way, now, down to 20-something weeks.
Where you can have abortions, by the way, in Colorado.
I think it's 24 or 26 weeks.
This is why he tries to set it up, going, the only argument against abortion is religious.
By the way, the Bible says it's a good thing.
Well, hold a second.
That's not the only argument against abortion.
And you're wrong about the Bible because you're wrong about nearly everything.
Yeah.
He's like, I just want to eat.
What's that time of year?
Lunchtime, yeah.
Let's go to the next clip really quickly.
That's just a baby.
It's a zygote!
Right, exactly.
We have to be responsible for what we learn.
She's acting like that that we just saw right there was not an unborn child.
That that is just a clump of cells.
She's acting like we don't have all of that technology you just said that we have.
You're acting like you don't know any of that.
They're Don Quixote fighting windmills.
They're going like, Kevin O wants to put you in prison because of his religion.
First off, he doesn't even want to overturn Roe v. Wade.
Second, the argument against abortion has nothing to do with religion.
Third, I'm pretty sure you just had a seizure because you're sounding retarded.
Yeah, and also, I know several atheists that are against abortion as well.
Christopher Hitchens was one, actually, who said, the more we learn about science, the more I find it actually indefensible to draw a line outside of conception, barring some extreme examples.
Yeah, like going through pregnancy with my wives.
It sounded like you said wives.
I was trying to multiply my children and it came out the wrong way.
But it's like, once you see that heartbeat, once you know, you see the face, the hands, there's no going back.
I was like, oh wow, this is the worst thing in the world.
Like, once you see that, and they never write about that in Cosmo, about all the women that believe this nonsense, make that choice, later have a kid, and just, it haunts them.
And that's crazy.
You never see that.
No, you're fear-mongering.
By the way, Brett Kavanaugh wants to put you in prison.
Because of his religion.
You know, ancient cultures used to consider it a crime against the state to have an abortion.
Well, we're going to get to that in a second.
Let's go to the next clip first.
But I have to be honest with you.
Your religious and political leaders have kept you in ignorance.
Please enlighten us.
The Bible is actually pro-abortion.
What?
That's a fact.
If you have gone astray while married to your husband and you have made yourself impure by having sexual relations with a man other than your husband, Here the priest is to put the women under this curse.
May the Lord cause you to become a curse among your people when he makes your womb miscarry and your abdomen swell.
May this water that brings a curse enter your body so that your abdomen swells and your womb miscarries.
I want to give you full context here because we're going to dissect this.
It is clear as day.
There is no question about it.
If you don't believe me, just go read the Bible.
But you don't believe in day?
It is pro-abortion.
You don't believe in day, though.
See how you either just, Brett Kavanaugh wants to put you in prison.
Oh, okay.
Sure.
Well, you don't believe in day, Cenk.
Just imagine not being beholden to any sort of truth at all.
Could you have any idea?
It's clear as day.
But you don't, but clear is not a thing.
You don't even believe that the word clear should exist.
What?
I'm just lying.
What do you mean?
Yeah, it was a lie.
I'm doing what you do.
Are we supposed to believe?
I don't want to date a tribute motive, but do you really believe that no one of the Young Turks knows that Breitkamp or are they so lazy they didn't watch any of the questioning where he said, I will not overturn Roe v. Wade?
Did they not watch it?
You have to believe they're either really lazy or they assume that their audience is really lazy.
Take your pick.
But the crux of his argument here is that the Bible is pro-abortion.
He claims the verse, let's dissect this pretty quickly, the verse is about abortion.
It's not.
It's about a curse that falls on a woman if she's unfaithful to her wife.
If she's unfaithful to her husband, she'll be barren and unable to have children.
Yeah, and you notice that he used the NIV there, and that actually mistranslates the word, or incorrectly uses miscarriage.
That's why you're here.
That's the only translation that says miscarriage.
Really?
Yeah, and I read some articles about this, and they say that the NIV actually incorrectly used it.
There's a lot of explanations for what this could be talking about, but abortion?
Look, even if it says miscarry, even if it says in this one instance, it would not mean that the Bible is pro-abortion.
It would mean that the punishment is For having an adulterous affair and having a kid would be a miscarriage.
Exactly.
Not for convenience.
Not because I just don't want kids.
Not because I just want to have unprotected sex and have no consequences in my life.
That is not the same thing.
No, it's not the same thing.
Think of it as an Aesop fable.
Look before you cheat!
Slow and not a whore wins the race.
I'm just trying to find ways to make this work here.
And by the way, a good example of the point, to bring back kind of your point, the point that Chink claims a poison, it's not poison.
She didn't drink poison.
It's water used in a traditional Jewish ceremony and causes no ill effect if she's not cheating on her husband.
It tastes bad.
It'll have some slight stomach discomfort for sure.
Get her some Pepto.
It's not so much a pro-abortion parable as it is a don't-be-a-lying-cheating-horror lesson!
And look, anytime you have a confusing text, anytime you have something that makes you think God is thinking a way that you're like, wow, God would never be for that, use the entire Bible, right?
Use the entire Bible, get a little bit more understanding of what's going on, and also realize that you're talking about ceremonial laws.
613 ceremonial laws that we are no longer under as Christians.
All that stuff was taken care of.
It doesn't mean that the Old Testament's irrelevant and that the law doesn't matter.
It means the law was fulfilled in Jesus Christ, right?
So we have the New Testament to look at.
So you're acting like any other book that you would read, you would read the whole thing to come to an understanding of what's being said.
Here, he's trying to cherry-pick something for his own end.
He's the kind of guy who wouldn't get anybody to believe that Harry Potter dies of the bullshit!
You have to finish it, Jake!
No!
He ends at the death of Christ and doesn't keep reading.
You get to the resurrection.
Come on!
And Anna's three inches from the screen looking at Hermione going, I'm better than you!
And you're like, I don't know.
This is pretty cool.
This is pretty intense there.
Gerald knows his stuff when it comes to this.
Oh, I love being around you guys, too.
Like, really.
I notice Gerald.
Owen always gets really quiet when Gerald talks.
He's like, what is he going to say?
Oh yeah, because you give me knowledge, man.
It is.
He really does know this stuff, though, and you can tweet him if you want to ask for it.
So here's a question that we often get.
Hold on a second.
Is there any biblical backing to support the pro-life position?
You get this a lot when we're like, there's nothing in the Bible that talks about homosexuality outside of Liticus.
And Romans.
And most of the New Testament.
As far as supporting a pro-life position, in addition to the science, you mean?
Sure.
So I guess Cenk's never read Jeremiah, Jeremiah 1.5.
That's one where God actually says, before I formed you in the womb, I knew you.
Or, again, if you're an atheist, we're just talking about, we're abutting Cenk's argument because he's trying to act as though the only argument for abortion, against abortion, sorry, is religious.
Man, I got confused myself there.
Watching The Young Turks turns my brain into mush, so don't rot your mind.
Don't you sit too close to the YouTube.
Psalm 139.13, where David actually tells God, you knit me together in my mother's womb.
The next one, is it Luke 1?
I'm good with the Luke ones.
Or is it first Luke?
First Luke's one.
What?
I'm so confused.
Wait, you just put them both in there.
Elizabeth actually says to Mary, when the sound of your greeting came to my ears, the baby in my womb left for joy.
Arguably, of course, one of the most damning here, if you want to get into religious sort of laws, we're talking about Exodus.
Oops.
Verses 22 through 25, which crazily enough, by the way, pro-abortionists try to twist into being a pro-Debbie Wasserman Schultz and 26-week-old-abortions-in-Colorado tale.
Let's look at the actual verse.
This is the actual verse.
When men strive together and hit a pregnant woman so that her children come out, but there is no harm, the one who hit her shall surely be fined, as the woman's husband shall impose on her.
And he shall pay the judges... I'm trying to... This is actually... I think we're using King James here.
A little harder than NIV, but we also have to do research.
I can do it.
But if there is harm, then you shall pay life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, burn for burn.
So this is actually talking about punishing someone two times over if you hurt a baby.
Yeah, exactly.
So if the baby comes out and it's fine, everything's good to go, right?
You pay a fine because you did hurt the woman by hitting her and causing the baby to be born early, but if the baby comes out and there's damage, that's trouble.
You have to pay for that with a life, which means you've committed murder.
Right, exactly.
We already have that.
Double homicide if you kill a pregnant woman.
Yeah, I know, but I mean, it's just using the same law.
This is in Exodus, so it's among those same 613 laws to clarify.
Hey look, it was law back then, and it's law today!
Was that mentioned anywhere?
I love how the young guy said that we didn't talk about Dr. Christie, we didn't list any of the evidence.
We listed all of the evidence.
That was a setup for the punchline.
Right here, they don't mention our laws today or the biblical laws while arguing about abortion law.
They try to translate this idea of child coming forth as miscarriage and then argue that there's no penalty for a fetus dying.
That's what I've seen.
Exactly.
And it's twisting into pretzels.
No, exactly.
Let's be clear.
Throughout the Bible, unborn babies are not seen as clumps of cells.
Yeah.
And not because we're using a new international version, new living translation, just because they see them as human beings.
Yeah.
And you can't, you can't read the Bible and think that God would think that, right?
You can't read every part of the Bible that talks about life and how, how sacred it is and think that God would be like, yeah, well, if it's just inconvenient, go ahead and kill him.
Oh, or if somebody accidentally kills your child and you have a miscarriage, just, it's like a $50 fine, bro.
It's totally cool.
Right?
God, the God of the Bible, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob does not think like that.
But what does 2nd Margaret Sanger say?
Kill the blacks!
Okay, that's a different book.
It's like, be fruitful and multiply unless you want to party.
Right, exactly.
This is the gospel according to the Beastie Boys.
These aren't religious laws, they're common sense laws.
I hate to say common sense laws.
Okay, no, not common sense laws.
These are basic human biology laws, all right?
So, sorry, the Young Turks, and I want you guys to draw your own conclusions, I want you to look up, I want you to read on the science, look at a developmental chart of where a fetus is, and tell me when it becomes a clump of cells, when that turns into a human being, but sorry, the Young Turks, you're wrong on basic human biology, okay?
Might I suggest a science class?
You're wrong also, by the way, on the Bible.
Might I suggest Sunday school?
You're wrong on choice.
You're wrong on universal health care.
The Young Turks is wrong on the birds that sing.
The Young Turks is wrong on everything!
We'll be back with Nicole Arbor.
That'll be fun and then hipster-hogwart.
I'm batting a few more shower curtain rings.
There's bugs on my legs.
It's from the bed.
Why do they keep playing that music?
It's a trope.
It's a needless trope.
How do you spell trope?
Canadian or American?
I don't know, probably American.
The Canadian version sounds a little sticky and weird.
Pretty confident we'd toss a you in there.
I like to toss it in everything.
Yeah, you guys do.
Your sticky little maple syrup hands.
Man, Canadians are weirdos.
I don't want to share it. There's that music.
Okay. Again, I have no idea how many robots do this or why they would do this, but apparently
it's a thing that they actually do.
Really good to have our next guest on the show.
She's been on the program several times, and people said, hey, she's nice to look at, but she also is interesting to listen to when she speaks.
She has very good points.
Just kidding.
That's about half and half.
Some people just like looking at her.
You know her, of course.
You can follow her on the Twitter, at Nicole Arbor, with a U, because she's Canadian.
And of course, you know her on YouTube, her channel.
And be on the lookout for the book.
It's How to Lose Excuses, and bleeping win already, though that's not the actual name of the title.
Nicole Arbor, how are you?
I'm amazing!
How are you?
Are you one of those people who just says amazing?
Or are you really doing amazing?
No, my mind is actually blown right now over what I've seen in LA the last few days.
Okay, well good, there you go then.
I feel like my brain is exploding actually from the fires and all of the... The National Enquirer is literally more accurate than most press at the current moment when it comes to these fires.
It's insane.
Explain to people who don't know, you've made a trip down there, you've been spending some time down there, now what do you mean as far as the press is inaccurate from what we've seen?
This doesn't seem like a controversial issue, so I'm a little surprised.
I didn't think so either.
So I joined in with the search and rescue team to go save a bunch of animals that were left up in Malibu because they had to evacuate.
So, you know, it wasn't really the owner's fault.
The police made them leave.
So I joined a search and rescue team.
We go up there.
Whitney Cummings had posted that the animals were abandoned at Malibu Wine Safari.
We get there with a full-on, like, search-and-rescue team to evacuate them, find out, nope, none of that was true.
They were evacuated, the animals were alive, most of them, a couple perished, but a couple people perished two doors down.
So, it was just like this media hoopla that the Kardashians were spreading.
All these huge celebrities were saying, Malibu wine safaris mistreated their animals, they died, they were abandoned, and just none of it was true.
It was insane.
So is your issue specifically with this story regarding the animals or kind of the media coverage of the wildfires at large?
I think that there's like a lot of tragedy tourism going on right now that the, you know, fire departments are specifically saying, please, we love you, but stop coming to our fire stations and dropping stuff off.
We don't need it.
Right.
Here's the list of people who need help.
And then celebrities keep showing up at the fire houses being like, Hey, I brought this food.
Can we take a photo?
And then the press is like, Oh, this celebrity saved the fire department and brought them lunch.
Like they're saying, please, you're all in the way.
Move.
Right.
It's happening everywhere.
Not to mention, I don't think Martin Sheen could actually carry just the fire gear.
I don't think he could put on the jacket.
I don't think he's going to be much help.
And there's so many amazing volunteers that are actually helping that are also like, okay, get out of the effing way.
You guys are in the way.
But that's a big thing too.
When we did this help for hurricane Harvey relief, you know, we did a big mug club drive for it.
We actually just found a couple of organizations.
You have to find the ones that are reputable because like you said, there've been some controversies and you never know where your money is always going.
Like Bono's one, a lot of people don't realize, less than 1% of the revenue actually goes to those in need, ironically.
And the name is one.
It all goes to these expensive Los Angeles.
Pretty transparent, then.
Yeah, well, it took some digging, let's be honest.
He didn't advertise that less than 1%, but we found some reputable sources and said, what do you need?
And they said, you know, listen, we really need some money so that we can buy food and so that we can be kind of flexible because it depends on day to day.
So that's what we did.
But a lot of the time people want to do the feel, what feels good, the photo op help.
Heart's in the right place for a lot of them.
Thank you for helping.
But you're not helping someone if you're not helping them in the way that they need help.
And it seems like that's what you've been running into.
I felt like such a douche because I wasn't going to social media it up up there.
We were just doing whatever needed to be done.
There's this awesome organization called Paw Works, straight up heroes.
I was doing whatever they said to do.
But then people started saying, Nicole, we think you need to film this because these people are being labeled as animal abusers and all sorts of things.
And I was left to dispel this giant effing rumor that ruined this family and ruined this business.
A hundred percent, you know, fake news.
And I don't think that Whitney Cummings had bad intentions.
I think she had good intentions, but when she found out the truth, she wouldn't apologize.
She's apologized to me, but she wouldn't apologize.
She did apologize to you.
So how do you know she found out the truth?
Because sometimes people just don't know the truth.
We have so many people in common that it was so easy for me to get in contact with her.
She had posted that she doesn't know who I am, and I'm like, really?
Because I'm texting with you right now.
Like, you are tweeting me right now.
So I screenshotted all that and posted it.
Yeah, a little.
And it wasn't until I tagged Joe Rogan in a post, like super small so that other people couldn't see I tagged him.
I'm like, I know Joe's going to hit her up.
Like, this is my last ditch effort to get a hold of this chick, so she stops.
Pause, pause, hit her up.
We're not talking about Michael Avenetti here.
He's not a domestic abuser, not a lady abuser at all.
I want to make sure we clarify that, because Joe hits hard.
Continue.
Okay.
Yeah.
Holy cow.
He is like a beast of a human.
He's a firebug.
I know that Joe will message her and like, at least get her attention and maybe shake her shoulders a bit and be like, whoa, chill.
Cause like, yo, those two broke girls, it's going to be three broke girls real fast.
Like the, the lawsuit storm is in full effect now.
And for people who don't know, cause I'm not fully up to date.
What is it that Whitney, because she also accused, I think our good friend Owen, who will be here to play hipster hobo in a bit of being a white supremacist.
So I'm a white supremacist and I'm uncomfortable being on your show because I spray tan and I think he hates me.
Well, I can guarantee you that he does not.
Especially not considering the outfit he's wearing today.
He hates black people, doesn't he?
Yeah, he cannot stand the black people.
So much so that he has one open for him in every city.
So what was it Whitney Cummings said specifically in relation to this?
I want to make sure people get the timeline right.
And it's not just about Whitney Cummings.
It's about a lot of the coverage that we've been seeing coming out of there.
And again, this is a crisis.
People want to help.
So they're much more likely to believe whatever it is that you say.
So just Whitney Cummings timeline first, just because I don't like her.
Okay, here's.
All right.
Well, I don't not like her.
I think she's great.
Okay, timeline.
Okay, cool.
Love you.
So she posted on social media, I don't remember, a couple days ago that she was at Malibu Wine
Safari, she took videos with the giraffe with a bloody nose, showed a pig that was burned.
It turns out he wasn't burned, he's just a pig and he was dirty.
And she- Tomato, tomato.
This is- whatever.
So, on Sunday night, I went up there with Search and Rescue, and we had all this hay because she said they didn't have any food, the animals didn't have any food, and we talked to the groundskeeper, because he was actually there.
I was a d*** too.
I went in there ready to attack these people for leaving these animals.
I was wrong.
And I'm happy to admit it, but we go with the groundskeeper who's in tears because he's being called an animal abuser.
This dude's worked there for 30 years.
He's barefoot, like his shoes are burned.
And he's taking us around the property to prove that the animals are okay.
This didn't happen.
He's crying at what she did to their business and to all the people who work there.
And then we're like, okay, well, we're going to come back the next morning.
And we did.
So we didn't tell them when we were coming.
And we showed up with six vets, totally independent vets.
Two of them are exotic animal experts, five vet techs, and LAPD, LA Fire Department, and people from like Humane Society and different organizations, just so we have proof of whatever has happened.
And not a single human being has said they did anything wrong.
In fact, they've been given like five stars across the board.
Wow.
She said that, you know, they got their exotic car collection out.
No, they didn't.
I was standing there with it.
It's burned to the ground.
Right.
I was like, Ginny, you can't say that.
With animals, too, it's really easy to do.
I worked at a no-kill animal shelter, one of the biggest in the Midwest, actually.
And they had, just for a little while, they would rate the dogs from A to D. And I think I've talked about this several times.
Actually, A to F.
Based on boob size, or?
Well, petite, I think, is the term for dog.
I actually have no idea.
But the scariest dog I had ever met in my life was the only F. So they basically told me, like, listen, we rate them from A to D. There's F, but there's no F except for this one three-legged Great Pyrenees.
And I'm like, well, hold on a second.
They're like, don't even look at him.
Don't even look him in the eye.
And it was a three-legged Great Pyrenees.
And I've talked about it.
You ever had a gorilla look you in the eyes, and it pierces your soul?
You're like, oh, he's pissed!
And he could rip my arm off.
I have it.
But I believe you.
I have.
At the Detroit Zoo.
Anyway, that's another story.
So, this Great Pyrenees was the only F where it would be eating, and if you walked by, it would stop, and it would just... Three-legged, this thing was 150 pounds, and it would just stare.
And you would walk past this dog in the hallway, walk past this kennel, and if you walked back ten minutes later, It was following you.
That was it.
And I never, there was one person who could handle this dog.
And I remember some people left reviews saying, Oh, they mistreat some of these dogs.
Some of these dogs don't get any at any rec time.
They all had rec time, but obviously if you only have one handler and it's a volunteer who can deal with this dog because it can murder you and it wants to, it's not going to get as much time as the Jack Russell.
What I learned if you have two people who were there and you have wires that because they weren't letting people back up the mountain the police were there to stop you it was so dangerous but if you have live wires that fell down everywhere all over the highway and people are saying you should have evacuated them put them in trailers you know what trailers are those are freaking barbecues at that point right you're going to put them through live wires so we're going to cook the animals are we going to evacuate them properly into wide open area dirt doesn't burn so that's where they were put like a huge dirt area with a lake No, they were put in the third degree burn pit is how I understand it.
Yeah.
The LA Fire Department said that that was such a great evacuation plan.
They would put not only their equipment, but their men there as well in an emergency.
So I think they did okay.
And you know, the media just wouldn't correct it.
And Whitney, you know, that's up to her, but she wouldn't correct it either.
But that just wasn't what happened.
Celebrities posted about it.
And I know you like Whitney and you two are friends, and so I'm speaking for myself that I don't like her, but I do think it's important to note here that, listen, the big problem is not when people get stories wrong, not when the media gets stories wrong, but when they know the truth and they refuse to correct it.
And that happens a lot.
People don't correct it because then ego gets in the way.
Okay, final question before we're gonna go play hipster hobo.
So how does it stand now in terms of, you know, the areas lost, kind of community's hardest hit?
Who are those still at greatest risk?
There are a lot of people that still need help, and there's a lot of animals.
If you are an animal lover, I would say help Paw Works.
You can donate to Paw Works.
They're amazing people.
I just, I've never seen humans just volunteers act like such heroes.
Like, I was holding giant sheep with them and giant tortoises, and they're just doing what needs to be done.
So I think they're a great organization you can donate to if you want to help.
Great, there you go, pawworks.
And is that just, is the website just pawworks?
pawworks.org, I believe.
.org, because it's a serious organization.
Not like ours, which is very silly, ladderwithcrowder.com.
It's not a .org, we couldn't get it.
Yeah.
All right, listen, you gonna stick around?
We're gonna play Hipster Hobo?
Yeah, of course.
All right.
Okay, we're gonna be right back with white supremacist Owen Benjamin and Nicole Arbor playing Hipster Hobo.
Don't, don't change it.
I guess there's no dial this Tuesday.
Oh, I can't believe I'm alone at home.
Oh, Bubba.
you The couch cushions hurt me again!
Oh, Bobber!
Are you just gonna look at me like that?
Oh, Bobber!
Help Hopper escape the sofa cushion cracks.
Join Mug Club today.
It's his only chance.
I'm sorry.
Yeah.
Show.
Show.
Since I've been wearing that.
Show.
Actually, I just realized this makes me look very chesty in this outfit.
So that's what people are going to say.
Look, he's got breasts.
But I don't.
It's the deep cut V. Our guest, again, you can follow on the Twitter at Nicole Arbour with a U, just like Canadian Spell Color.
And her YouTube channel, her book is How to Lose.
Excuse there's an effing wind already.
It's not out, but it will be coming out soon.
Nicole, thank you for sticking.
I didn't say it was out.
I didn't say it was out.
Because last time I screwed up and I said it was out.
Stop, just stop promoting this.
It's not ready yet.
It's really hard because people send me advanced copies of books all the time, so I have no idea if it's in stores or not.
I just have a stack of books, and I'll be honest, I read like 15% of them, and then we have them on as a guest.
So we don't usually have people on as guests if I haven't read their book.
I haven't read your book because you didn't send any because you're not that nice.
Because it's not done!
Oh, it's not done?
Then why the hell are we plugging it in at all?!
This is why I'm doing this!
I don't know!
Alright, well forget about it.
She's illiterate.
So just watch her YouTube videos, Nicole Arbor.
And White Supremacist Owen Benjamin is back.
He was watching in the green room while we were talking about Whitney Cummings.
I'm sure you know he's had some run-ins with her.
Oh yeah, she called me.
For no reason.
I was friends with her for like 10 years.
She implied that I was a white power guy.
So I promptly pointed out that her face looks like a melted candle, and that kind of took off a bit.
It took off?
Yeah, because it's true.
She looks like a candle that- Careful, because Nicole doesn't want to be tossed in with this here, right?
We don't want to get you in trouble, Nicole.
That was definitely commented on my stuff a lot, and I was like, where did this come from that everybody is saying?
It came from a spiteful pilgrim.
Okay.
Hashtag spiteful pilgrim.
That's hilarious.
I am very uncomfortable with the direction of this program in general.
All right, so we kind of filled you in on the rules during the break before we got Spiteful Pilgrim in.
Are you ready to play?
I can't wait to kick both of your Thanksgiving-y butts, yeah.
I love how she like earlier just like dropped F-bombs and now she's like...
Butts!
Booties!
Posteriors!
You're probably gonna have to, like, do extra work and bleep me, right?
We probably will, but you know what?
We're already there.
Alright, let's play!
Hipster hobo, I wish I knew.
Hipster hobo.
Both look like crackheads.
Both are obnoxious assholes.
Both will destroy the value of your property.
Also, I should warn you, we go with a Simon and Garfunkel theme.
No reason.
No reason in particular.
It was really fun.
Oh, thank you.
Well, it gets worse.
OK, so up number one.
Are we ready for Black Garrett?
You ready?
You ready for the first one?
Yeah, I'm ready to rock.
OK, let's see this.
So close up.
All right, let's get this picture of this.
His head is stuck in a turkey's vagina.
I just want to, like, how did we not stop on that?
I don't think that's what we stuff when we stuff a turkey.
And I think you need to get your mind out.
You've been spending too much time reading Whitney C***** Cummings' Instagram.
That's just going to be a bleep that people won't even understand why it's bleeped.
I am terribly ashamed of myself.
I'm a horrible host.
Alright, let's bring up number one.
Alright, let's let the lady go first.
Here we go.
Okay, Nicole Arbor, what do you think?
Is that a hipster or a hobo?
That's a hipster.
I would meet him in Venice for coffee, for sure.
You would meet him in Venice for coffee?
He would tell me about his startup, for sure.
Yeah, and it wouldn't actually be a startup.
It would be like an app that's actually in the approval phase, and it never gets approved.
Owen?
Yeah, let me get my straw.
At first I thought that was probably a crack-addicted homeless person, but then I think it looks kind of like a guy from the Flaming Lips.
So I'm gonna say it is a hipster.
Okay, so one hipster, one hipster.
You know what?
Let's bring that picture back up before we zoom out here.
Quarter Black Garrett, keep it up there.
I am gonna say... It would usually be contrarian.
I'm gonna say hipster as well.
Let us know, Quarter Black, who's right.
You know what, though?
I feel that the lyrics are incredibly... They're not congruent with the actual picture.
He didn't have tea.
No, it's like Simon and Garfunkel are not being very considerate of our playing rules here.
Okay, so everyone is one for one.
All right, Nicole, you're pretty good at this game.
Seems like you've dated quite a few hipsters there in California.
Yeah, unfortunately, none of them were public.
Okay, next one.
Ladies go first.
Let's see this.
This is... go, go.
All right.
Okay, Nicole, what do you think there?
Hobo.
Okay, why?
What's your justification?
It looks like he can play guitar, but he doesn't have money to buy one.
I like the reasoning.
Look at that!
And also, unlike the Whitney Cummings, funny as well.
Nicole didn't say that, I did.
Alright, Owen?
I'm gonna say hobo just because it looks like he has the strongest jaw.
Why would that be indicative of a hobo?
I don't know, it's just hipsters usually don't have a face that could take any kind of trauma.
You know, I hate, I would, I want to win this game, but I also feel as though there needs to be one contrarian here, so I will say hipster, though I do actually think hobo, but there's a possibility that it's a hipster because I think that that face has seen a lot of trauma.
Little known fact, hipsters have often seen more trauma than hobos, because they've been to college.
So let's, let us know, you're a quarter black, let's go a little faster here on the trigger with...
Yeah.
That one is a hobo indeed.
Yep.
Just third grade math, no GED.
Ah.
Aw.
All right.
OK.
So it's, you're two for two, and I'm one and one.
So did anybody give him anything or just take the picture?
I have no idea.
It's probably like a lot of people who went down there to the wildfires.
They just took the selfie and kept on moving down PCH.
I felt like such a douche pulling out my camera, but they told me to.
He did.
He did just vote in Florida, though, like yesterday.
Yes, he did, yeah.
Several times.
Yeah, several times, by the way.
But little known fact, he actually voted for Rick Scott.
But it wasn't counted for Rick Scott.
No.
It was counted for Al Franken.
Yep.
Yep.
Al Franken wins again.
Remember when the selectees told people to vote for people and then they didn't?
Twice in a row?
Yes.
Yes.
I remember that exactly.
I thought it was funny.
I don't know with Beto.
Beto seems like he's going to be doing pretty well because he'll probably run in 2020 and lose for us then.
All right.
Let's bring up the next one.
Let's see.
Number three.
OK.
All right.
Nicole, what do you what do you think?
You're a hipster hobo.
That's a mumble rapper.
That's, yeah, he has like a number one hit on Spotify right now.
Okay, Nicole?
Also, homeless.
Okay, I was gonna say, because this exists in a binary here.
You have to pick hipster or hobo.
I don't know what that word means.
It's one or the other.
There is no door number three.
Hobo, that's a hobo.
Okay, alright, alright.
I appreciate it, thank you.
There you go.
I want to go hobo, but I don't want to just keep matching everything she says.
Because that kind of face tattoo, you're only allowed one to get into Jamba Juice.
But, so I'm going to say, but I'm still going to go hipster, though.
I'm going to change it up.
Yeah, I'm going to, well, I don't know anymore, but I would say hobo.
So I would go hobo with this.
So that's, let's bring this back up here, Quarter Black Garrett.
You say hobo, you say hipster, I say hobo.
What is it?
Maybe.
Hmm.
That one is a hobo indeed.
Yeah, because hipsters don't smoke really either.
He likes meth and don't like Asian feet.
They only vape.
I don't know why he would like Asian feet.
I didn't know that was a hobo thing.
I have no idea.
Apparently.
Simon and Garfunkel, not really, you know, they're touted as brilliant lyricists.
Not so much.
Let's go to number four here.
I think we have five, right?
Yeah.
All right.
Good.
An uneven number.
Think of the Supreme Court so that we can have a tiebreaker.
Okay.
Let's show this to Nicole first.
Here we go.
Ooh, okay, that's a little blurry because it's low-res.
What do you think, Nicole?
That is a hipster.
That is Rainn Wilson when he doesn't shave.
He's on his way to set.
Yeah, alright.
Otherwise known as just Rainn Wilson these days.
What do you think there?
I'm gonna say it's a hipster because it looks like a billionaire living in one of those weird tiny houses.
That's a good point.
I watched a documentary on that, and I noticed that nobody actually had to live in tiny houses.
Also, it's actually significantly less expensive to just live in a small house as opposed to a quote-unquote tiny house.
Yeah, and it's like way better for the environment, too.
Yeah, it is.
It is.
Just get an old house or like live in a trailer park, but they don't want to do it.
They want to go, look!
My bed folds into a bookcase!
Okay, bring this up, Quarter Black Garrett.
Hipster, hobo, and I say hipster, by the way.
I what?
That one is a hipster, indeed.
He wears wool scarves and ninety-five degrees.
Hipster?
Alright.
Wait, hold on a second.
Nicole's got all of them, right?
Yes, I did!
And you've missed one, and I've missed one.
Yeah.
I think she may be... She's dated all of these guys.
Yeah, I think she's dated all of them.
She knows them all personally.
Thank you.
Dude, you're dressed like a pilgrim.
You can't take swings at me.
I know, I'm dressed like a baby.
Like, I have a baby bib.
You're a white supremacist pilgrim.
White supremacist baby pilgrim.
It's a genre.
It's a genre of costume.
If you go to Spencer's, it's actually labeled White Supremacist Baby Pilgrim for a man who's 6'7".
All right.
This is the last one.
We got one more.
This is the final one.
Let's see what this is here.
Nicole, let's see if you can get them all.
All right.
I got this one.
Nicole, what do you think?
Hipster or hobo?
Homeless.
Hobo.
You're getting the rules now.
Hipster or hobo?
Homeless.
You need to know the difference between a hobo and a homeless person.
Yes.
Trains.
That's exactly what I was going to say.
Yeah, it actually is.
I learned that, yeah.
And I have one of the sticks with a handkerchief.
Yes, which was never, by the way... It was never an efficient way of carrying anything, a stick with a handkerchief.
Never.
Like, it counterbalances it!
No, not at all.
Just throw a burlap sack over your shoulder, you'd be better off.
Alright, you say homeless, you say hobo.
Gotta go homeless.
Hobo.
Hobo, I mean.
Hobo, yeah.
I say hobo, too.
Let's see.
That one is a trick joke, you see.
He's neither of them, just a tranny.
That's not fair.
That's not fair at all.
Okay, well, I guess, you know what?
We have a new champion here of Hipster or Hobo.
It's Nicole Arbor, which means you're gonna have to come back to defend your crown.
Nice.
I mean, I will.
Fine.
Let's make sure we do it two days after an important news cycle when I have a story for you.
Okay, all right.
Well, no, I think an important story is that you've been doing a lot of good work there in California, and we really do appreciate it.
We do have to get going.
YouTube channel is, I know you're Nicole Arbor on Twitter.
The YouTube channel is just Nicole Arbor, right?
Yeah, Instagram, letter I, letter B, Nicole Arbor, and I just, whatever, I was just helping a couple days, but Paw Works is dope, people.
If you want to help them, pawworks.org.
I appreciate it.
Oh, my light!
Oh, what just happened?
Your light just went away?
Oh, you've been faking this out all this time!
She's heinous!
Let's go to the break!
I think they should call the rest.
I took a crop on that.
No, it just isn't done that way.
The sun over the green, the life hangs.
I knew I'd go and...
This town ain't big enough for the two of us.
Don't do it.
Actually, as a matter of fact, geographically there is physical room for... I've had enough of your asbestos-laden smug talk.
Fill your tumbler, you son of a...
Oh, yeah.
I'm sorry.
Look, it's a miracle.
Oh, yeah.
He's saying you should join Mug Club.
It's only $99 annually.
$69 for students, veterans, active military.
Yeah, I don't know.
It sounds like he's a terrorist turkey.
He's saying you get not only this show every day, but you also get the full CRTV lineup.
And, of course, it's not funded by a foreign caliphate.
The free content goes away unless you join.
He's also saying you can support us, Christmas is coming up, and if you're looking to purchase a firearm for a loved one or family member or for yourself, Walther, they have the balls to stand up and support this show.
Yeah, loteroathcider.com.
I'm pretty sure he's about to go take Amy to synagogue.
So I need to get this.
I need to report the turkey to Homeland Security.
I'm going to go get my turkey.
That's called the pantheistic heathen praying to the god of the riptide.
Don't worry, I'll take all your land.
A lot of modern science, we've been talking about kind of the Bible quite a bit today, by the way, thank you so much Nicole Arbor, Hampshire Hobo, and Owen did actually have to go and catch a flight, didn't exist until modern Christendom.
That's something I hear a lot from people, and I appreciate that we have a lot of atheist viewers who go, yeah I know I'm not a Christian, but I appreciate the Western values that were created from modern Christianity.
You know, a good example, we always talk about If I need a God to tell me not to kill or not to steal, then I must be a terrible person.
You must just be a terrible person as a Christian.
It's a crutch.
Well, okay.
Hold on a second.
What about to be merciful?
That wasn't a value until modern Christendom.
What about to not cheat on your wife?
There were a lot, there were a lot, there were a lot of values.
I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, There are a lot of values that we actually get that don't necessarily just come from society at large, meaning globally.
We don't share the same values from society to society.
That's one thing that, you know, listen, I've talked about obviously how I am a Christian, it's very important, my faith is a big, it is what defines me, but I do appreciate that now, I don't know if you've noticed, there are far more people who at least understand and have come to terms with the fact that, oh, morality is not necessarily subjective even if I don't believe in God.
Yeah, I mean, I don't get it.
Where's your moral compass?
That's what gives me like, okay, I know how you're supposed to live life.
It's also why I felt bad about peeing in your mug during the break.
All right, so last segment.
This is one where we often kind of wrap this up in a ribbon for you.
I know it's become crowded closes and I appreciate how much you guys have let me, you've allowed me to take the opportunity to be earnest and talk to you guys in a way that hopefully helps a lot of people.
I mean we feel a responsibility in doing that.
So I need to kind of start this off before I make a formal announcement and letting you know that I am a huge hypocrite.
Which may not necessarily make sense when you just out of context, but let me kind of explain how that is the case because we've recently done some life advice segments and I've had to spend some time some
some life advice that that I know I should be practicing that I haven't been
this is going to be right now my last show through new year okay I'm not
retiring this is going to be my last show through new year and it's specifically due
to some health Don't worry, I don't have cancer or AIDS.
I can see the rumor mill starting right now.
We'll be back through the second week of January, so please bookmark and come back.
Health issues, medical issues that require more attention than I can fit into every other Friday between 11 and 2pm.
Which is literally, I have to pick every other Friday because a lot of people don't realize, you know, we don't have 40 staff members of the Young Turks.
So if we're gone doing a Change My Mind or if we're gone doing a show on campus, we have to travel back.
That's the whole team.
Yeah, it's everybody all the time.
It's everybody all the time.
That's you, that's Abby, that's Madison, that's everybody.
Right.
And particularly myself.
Sometimes some people get to stay home.
I have to be there all the time.
It's always you.
It's you all the time.
So I'm not complaining, but time-wise, I literally have to, so what we've tried to do is actually, this is to give you an idea of the inner workings here.
We do what we call super video we tape it off on the weekends or we tape one week and then the next week it's like okay we still have to work an insane amount but I find a window to okay I pick the dentist this week or go into a doctor or whatever it is a rheumatologist and yeah listen a lot of people probably you know I've talked on air quite a bit about having kind of thyroid issues and being I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia a year and a half ago I didn't really take it super seriously but Nothing, I'm not going away, but yeah, autoimmune related to the point of, I had a doctor recently kind of sit me down and say, listen, you're not going to make it very long, not because of the cancer, but because of the stress and how it's affecting kind of this.
I hate to use these serious words because I don't want to be overly dramatic.
We're coming back the second week of January.
This is something that needs to happen.
For several other reasons, there are going to be a lot of big developments happening.
But a doctor actually looked me in the eye and said, listen, the disease state, unless you correct it, progresses.
So some progress fast.
I've seen people get cancer and they go in three months and someone had it for several years and they've been fine.
But unless corrected, what you have is progressively getting worse.
You are progressively doing damage to your body.
And unless you correct it, It's going to get worse and sometimes it goes around the bend where then it becomes something permanent that you now you're trying to correct it Retroactively in post as we would say in this program as opposed to fixing it live We'll do it live so make make no mistake.
This is one thing I know a lot of people have talked I've seen a lot of people talk about YouTube burnout and This is not YouTube.
It's like, oh my god, you mean you have to talk to a camera while people give you $65,000 a month on Patreon?
Oh, what a freaking nightmare, right?
That's not what this is.
This is not an I'm burnt out and I don't want to do it anymore, though I am exhausted.
It's that there is nothing else.
I could dream of doing outside of this.
There's nothing else that I want to do.
And right now, I am less and less capable of performing, of being able to do what it is that not only is important to me, the only thing that I can do, but what it is that's so important to many other people who watch us.
We just hit 3 million subscribers, and I cannot thank you enough.
Thank you so much to everyone who's joined Mug Club.
Please, please don't stop Mug Club or cancel your memberships
because we're gone for a little bit.
We're gonna come back.
We're always trying to think of ways to add value.
And honestly, we have a million ideas that we've not been able to implement
because of all the things that we have to do simultaneously.
And I'll get into a second, but we just hit 3 million subscribers
and it's because of you.
And it's because we're gunning for more growth.
We're gunning to reach more people that I do need to get healthy.
And this isn't just myself.
Everyone here has a very significant workload.
Not only just Quarter Black and Engineer Abby, and everyone there in the control room.
Everyone here works really, really hard.
To give you an idea, this has been going on for a while.
Every day performing for the last, I would say, Well, it's been going for a while, but the last four or five months, every day performing doing this show is, for me, has been worse than the day before it.
And again, it's not that we don't want to do this.
We know we have to do this.
We know how important it is.
It's like being able to look at the finish line and your legs don't work and you're not able to get there.
And that's how it's been feeling every single day for a while now.
But it's kind of like the nickel circling the drain the last few months where it's gotten really, really hard to think, to physically recover.
My body doesn't heal at this point.
I've aged like 20 years where I will have a shoulder injury and I'm like, I don't even know how I hurt my shoulder and now it hurts worse than it did two weeks ago.
And I'm so grateful, by the way, so grateful, not only the people who make this show possible and give us all the desire to be back and ready to go, but for a team here who really, for the first time, have been encouraging me to get healthy and to do What do I need to do?
So during this break, not only are we moving to a new space to give you an idea, and not like last time where we primarily moved into more space for storage, but now more space for production, for new programs.
We're dramatically increasing staff.
This is all going to be happening before the second week of January.
Dramatically increasing staff.
Dramatically increasing budget and research capabilities.
Owen filled in for me yesterday.
That wasn't an accident.
Many of you enjoyed it.
I would like to see what a show with Owen is like.
When he doesn't have to scramble, when he doesn't have to worry about the YouTube gods, when he has protection under the umbrella of my half-Asian lawyer Bill Richman, when we're able to actually offer some resources here to let Owen do what he does.
And we might have some announcements regarding Owen coming to Mug Club.
Who knows?
We're still working it out.
You know he'll be here in third chair much more often anyway.
But there are a lot of ideas that we've had to want to increase value for people out there
because we live, we eat, sleep and breathe Mug Club.
We really do.
I know it sounds silly.
This is a token.
It's, I mean, it's wonderful.
It's hand etched.
It's girthy.
But it doesn't mean that what it does is it what it means is what it symbolizes.
And it symbolizes the ability for everyone here to make a living.
The ability not only for everyone here to make a living, but when people are getting shut down,
you're seeing these false copyright violations.
And yeah, listen, we work really, really hard.
But we have much more peace of mind because we are not beholden to the evil censoring
overlords who deny the Armenian genocide or their funding caliphates.
We don't have to worry about that because of the people who support this program.
Um, and I'm going to end it there.
And it's because of the people who support this program, it's because of how much you mean to us, that I've got to fix it.
I haven't been able to carry out the program to the best of my abilities because of not only the workload, but my diminished capacity.
Let me tell you something, it's been extremely humbling.
to get to the vulnerable side here.
It's been extremely humbling to just kind of have to accept I'm only 31, but, you know, people have talked about, you ever see these people always, and you're like, I'm going off the grid.
But you're always off the grid.
I haven't taken an actual, a week off in over half a decade.
And I know you've seen, well, we've had weeks where we haven't done shows, but you know, when that happens, it's like, no, that's because we have to do a whole studio update.
We're painting the whole green screen area a week, let alone enough time to really, I need to travel now and see some specialists.
But I used to be able to do it.
I think everyone kind of hits that point where you're like, man, why am I, why am I so, what is happening?
I used to be able to do all of this.
I used to be able to go 16 hour days with not so much as a day off.
And now just every, it's humbling to kind of just have to accept, okay, these are the things that I can do.
This is what I'm not capable of doing at this stage of my life, especially if I want to, you know, get, get healthy.
And, and like many of you guys, Hey, are you having kids?
Hopefully, eventually.
But what I really hope is that not only do you continue to support, it's not myself, but everyone who works to make this show happen.
And let me kind of leave you with this, if it helps.
So I want to wish you, by the way, everyone a Merry Christmas.
And thanks, not only to Michael, but our wonderful sponsor, Walther.
Let me tell you something about Walther, by the way.
Why does it mean so much to us?
And we'll have some more sponsors.
We've had people line up out the door, particularly around Christmas time, wanting to sponsor the show.
We also know that we're not able to just toss, it would change the show if we tossed in 15 live reads for random sponsors that were rotating.
We wouldn't actually be able to shoot commercial series.
We want to get back to shooting more creative commercials.
We haven't had the ability to do that because we've been a little bit underwater with some of the migration, you know, trying to staff, move to a new place, get new technology up and working while doing a daily show.
It's just not really been feasible.
But Walther has allowed us, because they've stepped up and they said, you know what, we want to be in every show.
We want studio naming rights.
Like I said, there are a ton of great firearms out there.
You can like Glock, you can like HK, you can like SIG.
I'm trying to think of who else out there would be... I don't know.
I don't know.
I can't even think right now.
But the point is, do you like Mercedes?
Do you like BMW?
They're good cars, right?
I prefer Walther, not just because we were seeking them out for a long time, because I liked their firearms, but they have the balls to support this show.
They have the balls to step up and say, hey, it's a controversial show, while other companies like Smith & Wesson or Ruger, whoever it is, are incorporating trigger locks because they want to kowtow to the gun lobby.
We're not going to do it.
We have never done anything where Walther has said, nah, that's too controversial.
They go, oh man, we love what you're doing and thank you so much for helping to support our company.
So not only what you guys do with Mug Club, but Walther, listen, if you're going to go and purchase a firearm, we don't really have a big sell.
It's just try the Walther and see what you think.
I've never had anyone try.
Google Walther PPQ review.
This is a PPQ subcompany.
Google Walther PPQ.
See how many pages it takes you to find anything other than a glowing review about it being the best-kept secret.
So it really is an incredible feeling to be sponsored by companies and to... It's not that they sponsor the show, it's the faith that they place in the show.
Where we don't even have to say, these were our numbers this week, or this is how many live reads... When we call Walther, they say, thank you.
You got it.
We're grateful for this partnership and we're so grateful for the partnership with them and we appreciate you guys supporting them.
There really have been some great, this year, some unbelievable relationships that have been created and I want to say one thing too.
This is also, we have such an amazing team here.
We're building up this kind of A-team behind the scenes where I want to make sure that I'm able to give them my best.
Not only you my best, but the people who put all their blood, sweat, and tears into making this show
possible. You wonder why there are no overlays where there's so few sources on shows like The
Young Turks or most other conservative programs honestly, but all the leftist programs that I can
think of outside of John Oliver, he does provide some sources. Samantha Bee we won't include
because Slate should not be chief amongst them. It's because it takes work.
It's a lot more work to actually bring these up so you guys are able to look up the references.
It's a lot to mention doing sketches and photoshops and these people who are unbelievably skilled behind the scenes.
It's a lot more work.
That's why most people don't do it.
So I want to make sure I do right by them.
Final thing I want to say is this temporary break, again we'll be back January 2nd, is not because any of us, to reiterate, not want to go away.
It is precisely because all of us, and I can certainly speak for most of us, but myself absolutely, are in this for the long haul, and we need to get some ducks in a row to come back, to come back as strongly as we can.
And when we do, we're going to be raising an army.
And I hope that you're a part of it.
Merry Christmas.
If we don't see you, follow me on Instagram.
Lodderwithcrowder's Instagram.
I haven't been verified yet.
And you'll be able to watch maybe some of the recovery that's going on and if you want to get involved in some of the personal.
Which I don't know why you do, but apparently that's what kids are doing on the Instagram these days.
I love you.
I appreciate you so much.
Don't forget about Mug Club when you're buying gifts.
And oh my god, January is going to be a rough ride.
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