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Dec. 21, 2017 - Louder with Crowder

11:53:58

Crowder's 16-Hour CNN Torture Livestream! (Part 1) | Louder With Crowder

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Time	Text
	Thank you.
	Outro Music
	RK Jared and Soundguy Edward Is this just my monitor or is this program?
	That's just, that's program.
	Oh, okay.
	Well, you didn't switch to yourself.
	So we're already off to a horrible start to a horrible day.
	Merry Christmas.
	CNN for 16 hours is what's worse than the live stream of being waterboarded, apparently.
	We have Sven Computer in house.
	There we go.
	We have... Hey, how you doing, Sven Computer?
	I'm doing okay.
	You forgot something.
	There you go.
	Thank you.
	Sound Guy Edward is here.
	We have Gerald.
	Well, you know what?
	The guest list was supposed to be... I guess there are a lot of surprises in store for me.
	There are some surprises.
	There are some light surprises.
	But we do... I can confirm Jordan Peterson is coming up.
	First guest, Owen Benjamin, James O'Keefe, Gavin McInnes, Stefan Molyneux, Josh Wolf, David Barton, Joy Villa, Matt Iseman, Kevin Sorbo, Clint Howard, Ben Shapiro, Andrew Clavin, Dean Cain, Pogo, all kinds of other surprises all day.
	Now, why are we doing this?
	A, it's worse than waterboarding, and B, people always bitch about the bias in media.
	Look at this.
	I swear to you, look.
	I don't have breasts.
	It's just something that happens with this thing.
	It looks like I have titties.
	Can we see the shot of the Walthers, by the way?
	Look at this.
	We got Walthers over there, and I got a Walther on my onesie.
	Can we show the Walther on my onesie?
	Look at this.
	Hey!
	Bump, bump, bump.
	That's the Walther PPS.
	Wonderful sponsor.
	Guys, if you're looking to buy a firearm for Christmas, go with the Walther.
	Try the Walther, because they have balls and they've stood up for this program.
	So, how bad is CNN?
	How biased are they?
	We figured we would watch...
	For an entire day, their original clock, 16 hours.
	We're going to do 24 hours.
	Instead, we're not going to do their repeats, because who needs a repeat of Don Lemon?
	It's just him bending over for a little Blitzburn.
	Blitzburn.
	It's early, we haven't had enough caffeine, and I put some modafinil for you guys in the bathroom when you go for a break.
	I'll have to look up what that is.
	Yeah, you'll see.
	Joe Rogan's a big fan.
	All right, let's watch some CNN.
	Let's watch some CNN.
	All right, give me some volume here and let's watch it.
	This is 717.
	And Sven will be on overlays once we get that going.
	Just so you know, we had some technical difficulties today.
	So we're talking about... Okay, landmark tax bill.
	So we're talking about...
	My main focus is we've got to have the economy growing again.
	If we don't have the economy growing again, we're never going to deal with deficits long term.
	So those forecasts ended up making...
	Okay, landmark tax bill.
	So we're talking about the tax bill.
	You're not comfortable with those over the forecast.
	Of course.
	Can we put that, can we put that through that speaker?
	Or do we have to be going through there?
	Let's go through there.
	Okay, because it sounds like they're talking through a, for me it sounds like they're talking through a cheesecloth.
	We can fix that.
	We can fix that.
	This guy looks like a wrestler after cutting weight.
	Do you see his face?
	Look at that.
	It looks like Christian Bale in The Machinist.
	You know, like the day, not the day you're sick or the day before you're sick, but the day before before you're sick?
	Right.
	This looks like the day before transition.
	Right.
	It's the day before the day of Christmas.
	By the way, I should have said world premiere of a YouTube carol.
	The tale of Ebeneezer YouTube and his clutching, uh, covetous old center waste.
	By the way, we'll also be reading your tweets.
	So, uh, send in your favorite tweets during hashtag CNN... I forgot, I forget all kinds of marks.
	Hashtag CNN Crowder... Hashtag CNN Crowder Livestream?
	Crowder CNN Livestream.
	Hashtag Crowder CNN Livestream.
	Uh, with your tweets, your pictures, your photoshops.
	We'll be reading them as the day goes.
	We've got 16 hours today.
	Yeah.
	This is an endurance test.
	It's not a sprint.
	It's a marathon.
	By the way, the only way we're able to do this, and this is obviously what makes it all possible, is Mug Club.
	LottaWorthPowder.com slash Mug Club.
	Can you guys hear me while I'm still on here?
	We hear you.
	Okay.
	When I start really getting into and speaking, turn down the CNN a little bit.
	Not for the audience, just for me, because I don't want to hear this jackass.
	This year, look at everything, how much we've grown.
	You're talking about a quarter billion plays, people watching for more than 10, 20 minutes.
	We created MugClub so that we can combat CNN, because we don't have the funding if we go through YouTube.
	So, just like being waterboarded, MugClub for you.
	This is a telethon for MugClub, to join up with MugClub, to join up lock arms, to combat this kind of bullcrap.
	Oh no, did I just hear Russia hack?
	Yeah.
	Alright.
	at least 21 state election systems and attacked a U.S. voting systems software company.
	While there's no evidence that the Senate vote outcome was tampered with, this dangerous precedent should be a wake-up call as we head into the 2018 election cycle.
	Why do you feel so strongly about this?
	I feel strongly about it because it's obvious.
	I'm trying to bring this up for you guys.
	So I have this and we just brought up a Russian hack.
	Okay.
	Fact check.
	Do we have ability to get Sven computer on?
	Getting close.
	All right.
	All right, Reg and those with Reg, when you hear me yell out fact check, since I can't get it, that means we need to check and see.
	Has there been a Russia hack?
	That's a simple one.
	Right away, we are three minutes, six minutes into our live stream, and we've gone to Russian hack with CNN.
	This is like time capsule CNN.
	I would hate to say they're predictable.
	What about the Uranium One deal linked with the Clintons?
	I'm amazed we're not talking about that.
	Talked about for about five minutes.
	And how they actually keep things up to speed.
	You say that what happened in the 2016 election should be a wake-up call.
	Okay, what happened?
	I used to do a show with Alison Camerota every Sunday on Fox & Friends.
	Here's a funny story about her.
	That's her?
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Funny story.
	Kind of a bitch.
	Okay, there's more to that story.
	I just wanted to let you know.
	She used to, like, hit conservative talking points when she was on Fox & Friends.
	Go back and watch Fox & Friends Sundays.
	She would hit conservative talking points when she would have me on, and I always would be like, do you really?
	Because it would be a little bit off.
	I never quite thought she was being genuine.
	Turns out, here she is.
	She's talking about Russian hacks on CNN.
	There she goes.
	By the way, Stephen, we do have the ability to bring in some research at this point.
	Okay.
	Okay.
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	So right away, the President does have a hard time understanding, let's talk down, between meddling and collusion.
	It's because of you, CNN!
	They examine different voter systems across 21 different states.
	Yeah, I think you're right.
	The president does have a hard time distinguishing between Russian meddling and accusations of Russian collusion.
	So it ends.
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	The president.
	So right away, the president does have a hard time understanding.
	Let's talk between meddling and collusion.
	It's because you, CNN.
	CNN has used it.
	Did the president collude with the Russians? - In Russia. - Yeah!
	Turns out Eric Trump had a meeting with someone who at one time had a meeting with Russians regarding business investments.
	And the second he found out, he completely severed all ties and didn't meet with them.
	But is this collusion?
	Is it meddling?
	We report.
	You decide.
	The most trusted name in news.
	How fast would we get drunk if he just drunk?
	Can we set a timer?
	We don't have a timer, do we?
	For how long?
	We do have the clock there on the screen.
	This is just Senator Lankford's talking point.
	Is there any evidence behind what he's talking about right now?
	Get on point with your beep-beep-boop-bop, Sven.
	Sven computer.
	I'm not even sure that you're a computer at all.
	It's almost like you're faking it.
	They don't make Jimin interpret interns like they used to.
	He didn't collude.
	No one on his campaign colluded.
	He understands that Russia meddled or no.
	Did Russia meddle, though?
	Did Russia meddle in the election?
	Right away, here's what you don't see.
	So, 822 a.m., Capitol Hill, CNN.
	Did Russia meddle with the election?
	They're not asking that question or saying, does the president understand that they meddled, or does he just think that he colluded?
	Wait, what if it's neither? - Here.
	But, Senator Lankford?
	Okay, here we go.
	that the Russians were trying to do something in this process, what that level is.
	Again, you'd have to ask him on that.
	But I think he's very passionate about they didn't collude.
	Okay, I want to ask you about one of the continuing resolutions to try to fund the budget and whether or not we're going to have a government shutdown.
	So let's talk about the budget.
	Now let's say, are we going to have a government shutdown?
	This isn't something that you don't see, and we're going to be doing this all day.
	day 823 we just went from russia collusion assuming collusion sorry i sprained my wrist we went from assuming russian collusion not the possibility assuming that as a pre assuming that as just okay this is the premise two is there gonna be a shutdown of all government let's do Let's discuss the tax bill.
	Let's discuss the budget.
	Under these guises.
	I don't know if guises is a word.
	I need a little more coffee.
	I think it is.
	So DACA will be resolved, but we're not there yet.
	We're trying to be able to work through the Senate.
	The House is also trying to work through that process to try to figure out how do you deal with this.
	When you deal with DACA, as we should legislatively, myself and Tom Tillis, in fact, put out a bill called the Succeed Act.
	Hold on a second.
	I'm taking notes here so we can get overlays and fact checks for you guys.
	We've got the hashtag on the screen, by the way, at this point.
	So we've got Crowder.
	Hashtag Crowder seen in live stream.
	I'm taking notes here so that we can get overlays and fact checks for you guys.
	We've got the hashtag on the screen, by the way, at this point.
	So we've got Crowder.
	Hashtag Crowder CNN live stream.
	Send out some love to the Twitters.
	Why is this guy on so long?
	Oh, look at this.
	There's another guy right behind him.
	Right behind him with that lighting kit.
	Now, isn't that surprising how horrible that lighting kit is?
	The guy behind him?
	Is there a third point?
	So much government, so much tax dollars.
	Is there a third point that I'm missing?
	So many.
	They're not even hitting three.
	Do you think Capitol Hill supplies these lights?
	It doesn't even look like they're using basic three-point lighting.
	No.
	Looks like there's just two lights on them.
	Like they went short.
	Like they were in the crab fisherman show and just said, put one over here.
	Oh, it's a senator!
	Her hair doesn't move, too.
	I find that disconcerting.
	Do you think she's a cartoon that just got really... Well, she's had some work done.
	Go back and look at Allison Camerota when I was on Fox & Friends on Sunday.
	She doesn't look the same.
	Okay, here we go.
	Hold on.
	Ooh!
	This guy looks like he was born, and while his head was still soft as a doctor, the doctor did this.
	I'm pretty sure they did the opposite to me.
	Oh, we got commercials here.
	Okay.
	So we have some commercials here.
	When are we hitting our first guest tonight, Jared?
	Because we have guests four people.
	We got about 15 minutes.
	Okay.
	We got 15 minutes.
	Are we running a commercial before the guests or just the guests and then start running commercials?
	Oh, we're running the guests first.
	Okay.
	Let people get into the CNN vibes.
	All right.
	So, right away, let's look back at what we had.
	Sven, do you have any research or overlays that you want to bring up?
	Well, we do know that... Beep, beep, boop, damn it!
	You don't address me unless you say, sir, beep, beep, boop, bop.
	Sir, beep, beep, boop, bop.
	Thank you.
	Okay, continue.
	So, beep beep, we know that the Mueller challenges show beep beep no proof of election meddling.
	So, that's that.
	Okay.
	Yeah, well one thing too they're talking about like is Trump going to fire Mueller?
	He just said yesterday that he wasn't.
	Okay, I get it.
	We can't necessarily rely on what the president says.
	But they're assuming, like they're asking the question.
	You do have to somewhat say, okay, if you're going to say that, you have to say the president has said he's not going to.
	Yeah.
	Right?
	But they don't.
	Is the president going to fire me?
	What about the Russia probe?
	Is there collusion or meddling?
	Is there going to be a government shutdown?
	How much will we add to the debt with this tax bill?
	You added 10 trillion!
	In Obama's 8 years!
	I was just reading yesterday, I think it was 1.5 trillion.
	People were afraid about it in 10 years with this current bill.
	Really?
	They were like, 1.5 trillion in 10 years!
	I'm like, well damn it!
	That sounds fantastic!
	That sounds great!
	That sounds like less inflation than healthcare costs!
	I think liberals are really bad at numbers.
	Well, one thing with the tax video, with the tax bill, that really surprises me is I just, I, I, I, I, there's this idea that there's a roundabout way.
	This is mainly for corporations.
	We've talked about this.
	Anyone out there, you have a job?
	Anyone watching?
	Tweet me.
	You have a, do you have a job?
	Tweet me.
	Hashtag crowd or CNN live stream.
	Okay.
	Who do you work for?
	All the people who have jobs are currently at their jobs.
	Yeah, they're currently at their jobs.
	But guess who?
	It's a corporation.
	Maybe it's an S-Corp, maybe it's an LLC, depending.
	But the principle is the same.
	This idea that we put it off there, this will only benefit corporations.
	So there's this voodoo economics where it's supposed to trickle down, like if a corporation has more money, they're going to give more to their employees, or they're going to hire more.
	What do we have?
	Wasn't it AT&T?
	Just gave $1,000 bonuses to more than 200,000 employees with the announcing of this tax bill.
	Boeing announced that it would spend $300 million on employee-related and charitable investments because of the tax plan.
	Comcast is giving $1,000 bonuses to 100,000 frontline and non-executive employees.
	Fifth Third Bank Corp.
	Said it would raise their hourly minimum wage to $15 for U.S.
	employees and pay 13,500 employees a bonus.
	Wells Fargo, evil Wells Fargo, said it would increase its minimum wage for U.S.
	employees from $13.50 to $15 and spend $400 million on donations to nonprofits and community organizations in 2018.
	Anywhere from Google.
	Anywhere from, yeah, I have no idea.
	It's just so funny to me.
	They're like, ah, you think this is gonna, yes!
	And these are current employees.
	If they're giving thousands of dollars in bonuses to current employees... Oh, this guy, Kamal Bell.
	This guy is the worst.
	Because he used to have a late, late, late night show that would go on at 1 or 2 as a comedy show.
	And I was like, this guy's just a social justice warrior.
	Now it's United Shades of America with Kamal Bell.
	Oh no.
	The most trusted name in news.
	Commercial break in progress.
	What were we just watching?
	I don't know, I think it was... I guess this is the online feed?
	It's the online feed.
	Alright, is someone keeping an eye on the Twitter?
	Because I have to hit these research things.
	Come on, get it up.
	Hey, Hopper!
	Hopper!
	Want to come in the futon?
	He doesn't know about this as a new... Oh, Allison Cameron!
	Hopper, come on!
	Come on!
	Come on!
	You hear a lot of this, right?
	Good boy!
	Senator Mark Warner has issued a warning to the president.
	Good boy.
	Just don't knock over the microphone.
	Maybe you will.
	Okay.
	There we go, guys.
	We got a new pilot running co-host.
	Hopper is allowed on this because only Jared sits there.
	It's true.
	Got a kiss?
	Thank you.
	That's gross.
	Alright.
	Oh, and he just burped.
	Thank you.
	That's gross.
	It's unacceptable.
	All right.
	And would have immediate consequences.
	Oh, and he just burped.
	Lovely.
	Okay, so here to discuss this and more, we have the top Democrat on the House Intelligence Committee, Congressman Adam Schiff.
	Good morning, Congressman.
	Good morning, how are you?
	I'm well.
	He doesn't know how he feels.
	I'm usually not allowed in the furniture.
	Well, I thought Jared was going to be in this panel with me.
	Well, I thought Jared was going to be in the house with me.
	I'm going to hop in there with you.
	Well, I don't rely on him at all because we've seen in the past that the president changes.
	Now he's off.
	Now Hopper's gone.
	No.
	That's my bad.
	Look, oh, look, look, look, look.
	Get a long shot.
	Get a long shot.
	He's trying to get under his blanket.
	Hold on one second, guys.
	There you go.
	No problem.
	to limit Bob Mueller scope.
	So no, I don't think we can rely on this at all.
	I do think Congress always take up legislation to protect.
	He goes... Alright.
	Possibly the most chilled out I've ever met.
	This guy looks like Mr. Mackey from South Park without the glasses.
	M'kay.
	Alright, let's uh... Hold on a second.
	All of this, I think, is only encouragement to the President that he can act in ways that would be destructive of our system of justice and he'll have only too many quiescent partners in the House.
	But maybe the plan is more subtle than what you think.
	I mean, maybe it's not getting rid of Rod Rosenstein.
	Maybe it's not following Bob Mueller.
	Maybe it's what you're talking about.
	Are we still talking about firing Mueller?
	Here's the thing, do you realize, I mean, I was just watching Judd Apatow's stand-up special and he was talking about the Russian peeing incident, the Russian prostitutes, and he's like, we know it's probably not true, but wouldn't it be great if it were?
	This is Judd Apatow's stand-up special on Netflix.
	That's what they're doing with news.
	They're saying, we know there's really nothing here, but wouldn't it be great if there were?
	And I have to watch this for 16 hours.
	And that's the whole point.
	With CNN, it's not just the bias by proactive propaganda, it's the bias by omission.
	It's the way in which they present this.
	In the news.
	It's the way in which they present the entire story.
	They frame it in with a way, it's, well, Russia probe, clearly some, is it collusion or is it just meddling?
	It's getting worse for them because they found effectively nothing, certainly nothing that connects President Trump.
	Is this, is this, is this, who is this right now?
	Sven Computer, who is this?
	This is Adam Schiff.
	This is Schiff?
	Didn't he say, like, nine months ago that he had evidence on Trump?
	Yeah, he did.
	Can you bring that up?
	This guy, nine months ago, said he had evidence.
	And the probe has been going on forever.
	What?
	He's like, I know what I'm gonna do.
	Lay low for a year and a half.
	And then release the rubber bed sheets.
	What do you think he has?
	Bring this up, Sven Computer.
	I can bring this up.
	I have yet to log in.
	When you address me, sir... Sir, beep beep bop bop.
	Thank you.
	Thank you, Sven Computer.
	Trust me, it's for your own health.
	All right, yeah, we have the article from the Wall Street Journal right here.
	Okay, you have the article right there?
	Yeah.
	How long ago was it that he was saying he had evidence?
	That was nine months ago, but that's only the research doc, because I haven't logged into the Wall Street Journal yet.
	Okay.
	And then CNN called it actually themselves a dangerous conspiracy theory.
	And they were mad that Trump Jr.
	or any other Republicans could even mention it.
	So Sven, just hit that on there when you can.
	What do you think was on CNN's agenda for the year before all the Trump Russia stuff?
	Because if you take that out of the programming, it's basically just the commercials.
	For their own programming.
	I'm trying to bring up some tweets.
	Am I the one who's going to have to be bringing up tweets to have a way to bring them up so people can read their own tweets yet?
	Sorry, we had a computer failure.
	I'm just going to read some off air here in a second.
	Okay, but can we bring some screens up for them?
	So people can see their own tweets?
	Let's see.
	They better cover Nikki Haley sticking it to the UN today, said youalas312.
	Oh, we will.
	Am I the only one who thinks that Nikki Haley, for her age, is kind of fine?
	It's that Indian blood.
	Anyone?
	Sven Computer, does your digital interface find Nikki Haley to be fine?
	My digital interface actually thinks that Nikki Haley would make a good present.
	Yeah, but I don't care about the substantive stuff.
	Do you think Nikki Haley looks physically attractive?
	I'm a computer.
	I have no human feelings.
	All right, Sven Computer.
	Little mom-ish.
	Little mom-ish.
	Did she just ask about Mueller being fired again?
	already fired Mueller.
	The CNN stream is really entertaining because the audio isn't even close to their video, so it makes them look even more dumb, said Nate no more.
	All right, we might want to find a way to get this a little more in sync for them.
	Okay, guys, let's see.
	Oh, did she just ask about Mueller being fired again?
	Yeah. - Yeah.
	Good Lord.
	If I'm not mistaken, I'm pretty sure Schiff is actually legally barred.
	I think, isn't it the House committee?
	The House Intel Committee legally barred him from discussing the info because he's full of shit?
	Don't worry, it's okay, it's like...
	I think this guy is so full of shit, he's been legally barred from saying this stuff that he's saying on CNN.
	People out there, if you're watching, hashtag crowd, is it CNN, crowd or CNN livestream?
	Crowd or CNN livestream.
	Hashtag crowd or CNN livestream, okay?
	I think this, that Adam Schiff has been legally barred from saying this because he's full of shit.
	And he's been saying it for nine months.
	I'm not sure about this.
	Well, Sven Computer, get on it.
	But I'm pretty sure that's the case.
	Why is Uranium One trending on Twitter right now?
	Because they're not, why are they not talking about it?
	It's Hillary's Uranium One deal.
	Nothing.
	We've discussed nothing regarding Uranium One.
	They're acting as though Mueller's already been fired.
	They've already asked, is it meddling or collusion with the Russians?
	And they have a guy who's on here spewing bullshit that is so bullshitty the House Intel Committee said you have to stop being so bullshitty and now we have Squishy Face.
	Remember those balls?
	Those squishy balls that had face on them when you were- faces on them when you were a kid?
	Remember those?
	They were like monster balls, is what they were called.
	Horrible.
	What were they called?
	Sven Computer, find that for me.
	The old- the old balls.
	The old like squishy balls.
	The old squishy monster balls.
	With faces on them.
	Beep beep, I don't think that's part of my job.
	That is part of your job.
	Beep beep, smartass.
	If I say you search squishy monster balls, guess what?
	Do you want Google Images?
	No, what were they called?
	Someone please tweet me at CrowderCNNLivestream.
	They had balls like faces on them and be like, I like teeth.
	It was basically like a squishy Nerf ball with a face on it.
	It poked through the skin and became like a big like wart.
	No, that's a different thing you're talking about.
	I'm talking about just like foam Nerf balls with faces on them.
	By the way, from DixieNormous, Dixie, first name, Twitter, would love to have Nikki Haley and Sarah Huckabee boss me around.
	So we got some love, love for the ladies.
	Okay, let's really quickly, let's hit some of the fake Russia stories that CNN has aired.
	Because right now, they'll just skim over this because they'll be wrong.
	They said that he was firing Mueller.
	He wasn't firing Mueller.
	This guy said he had some info nine months ago.
	He didn't have any info.
	Let's go through some of them, some of the stories that they've had on Russia.
	The Russia Wikileaks Trump Jr.
	report.
	Remember they reported Donald Trump Jr.
	He had received advance notice of Wikileaks.
	This treasure trove of hacked information.
	Well, they had the date completely wrong.
	Random person emailed Donald Trump Jr.
	That was completely wrong.
	What else do we have?
	CNN tied to Fusion GPS.
	Remember the firm that created the Russia Trump dossier?
	We talked about that.
	CNN was the one who was involved with that, where Democrats paid to have this hit job done.
	The false Scaramucci report.
	CNN reported on that.
	The big one.
	This ended up, I think, with three resignations.
	CNN published a story connecting Anthony Scaramucci with investigations into the Russia Direct Investment Fund.
	Anyways, the article cited one single unnamed source.
	Where's the committee looking into a $10 billion Russia investment fund whose chief executive met with Scaramucci?
	Anyway, they're facing a $100 million libel suit over that one.
	We have the false Russia Comey investigation story.
	Remember, Comey was going to be turning sides.
	Remember that one?
	Comey was trending everywhere.
	They helped push the fake Trump dossier.
	That's the one, of course, with the Russian peeing prostitutes.
	And then the overall just general malfeasance about Russia meddling in the election.
	So there you go.
	Today, they're talking about something else with Russia.
	But it's important when you watch the news, okay?
	It's important when you watch this, and I have to do this for 16 hours.
	It's important that you understand how many other times they've lied, and they just move right on.
	Yep.
	That's the big difference between new media and social media.
	I guarantee you, if right now I get a single thing wrong, you're gonna call me on it.
	And I want you to.
	Hashtag on Twitter, CrowderCNNLivestream.
	I keep wanting to say CNN.
	Hashtag CrowderCNNLivestream.
	I want you to call me on it.
	I want you to call me on it.
	I want you to call Not Gay Jared.
	I want you to call Sven Computer on it if we get something wrong, and I know you will.
	They just say, ah, Scaramucci report.
	They're wrong.
	$100 million libel suit, which they'll likely settle for maybe $50 million.
	They'll lose because they lied, but they move on.
	So they don't want to talk about it.
	Right now, do you know why there are no sources being listed on CNN right now?
	Because the only sources they had were themselves and they were wrong and they've been sued because it was bullshit.
	At some point you have to double down on sources.
	You put a source up there, you have to double down on it because it's something you're presenting.
	But if it's all just kind of out there, just kind of...
	It's hard to debunk speculation when it's just speculation.
	That's all they do.
	It's really hard to understand.
	Why would CNN protect a source that, when you're talking about Schiff, or any source that humiliated them?
	With any of these stories, why would you protect a source that humiliated you because everyone thinks you're a liar and now you're facing a libel suit?
	Why is CNN protecting that source?
	Reg was just sending me this.
	My guess is probably, oh, conspiracy.
	Conspiracy time.
	Hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.
	Maybe because it was a high-ranking Democrat.
	Think about this.
	CNN was humiliated with verifiably false information, but they still protect the source, right?
	We're not going to name our source.
	Well, hold on.
	You're being hung out to dry.
	Let's see what SquishyBallFace has to say.
	Did anyone find out what those balls were called?
	Those balls.
	I got an image of them, I think.
	All right, let me see the image there, Sven Computer.
	We're getting ready for Jordan Peterson.
	Oh, we can't have two things open?
	All right.
	Let's see.
	Nerf ball face.
	Madballs?
	Madballs!
	With a Z?
	No.
	No?
	With an S. Maybe.
	I mean, that's on Twitter.
	That's John Reddick, at John Reddick.
	Thank you very much.
	The torture of streaming CNN for 16 hours is so inhumane.
	Why are you trying to kill me?
	Why, Crowder, why?
	Says Kuwait AMVs.
	Listen, do we have any of the overlays for Mug Club so people can see where to join?
	Screenshot of that?
	We'll bring it up.
	Yeah, let's bring it up.
	Where?
	Are we going to bring it up now?
	In a second.
	Okay.
	We're able to do this because of Mug Club.
	The whole purpose of this is that Mug Club exists so that you don't have to tune in to CNN.
	So for one day, one day a year, you will feel our pain.
	Every single day, we don't watch 16 Hours, but every single day we have to watch CNN.
	We're the one show out there, the only show that I know of, where our entire morning pitch is HuffPo, Salon, Daily Mail, CNN, MSNBC, because we want to know what they're saying and arm you with information.
	We try to be the anti-echo chamber.
	We provide you with information, of course.
	Do we have a bias?
	Of course.
	Do we have a point of view?
	Yes.
	Do we have certain views that we want people to believe in, like constitutionalism, freedom of speech, second amendment, you know, the separation of powers?
	Absolutely.
	We want you to believe that.
	I'm really honest about it.
	In order to arm you with information, our entire day is filled with this crap.
	Our whole day is filled with nothing but CNN and liberal sources so that we can know what they're saying and arm you to help try and debunk them.
	That's why Change My Mind has been so successful.
	We're incredibly grateful, but that you have to join at ladoscratter.com slash mudclub or there will be no more YouTube channel.
	All the free content is supported by you who watch The Daily Show every night.
	Okay, let's... And I'll get deported.
	You're gonna get deported.
	Why is there no availability to comment on a live chat?
	I just want to shout my love of waking up, having coffee, and getting a live show.
	Merry Christmas early, thank you.
	Zee Haji.
	Do we dare turn the live chat on?
	No, I don't think so.
	That's the filthiest part of the internet.
	Steven Main says, you look very low rent there.
	Well, thank you, Steven.
	This is low rent.
	This is the same studio I stream from every day.
	It wasn't designed for this.
	It's low rent.
	You know what else is low rent?
	CNN sourcing, you stupid son of a bitch.
	Do you think CNN would ever read on live Twitter disparaging statements about themselves?
	The what?
	Do you think CNN hosts would ever read live disparaging statements about themselves?
	I don't know.
	I have no idea.
	Critiques?
	I have no idea.
	Now, Sound Guy Edward, if I don't hear this, if you turn it down for me, but the audience still hears it... Okay, it's at two different feeds.
	That's why they're getting off-key.
	Yeah, so people, the reason it's a little off-sync is because I can't listen to your feed.
	I don't have headphones.
	So they turn on speakers for me, so there's a delay for you, so... Sorry, but we are watching it live.
	There's no trick.
	There's nothing up my sleeves.
	Maybe there is.
	Hey, can you get Courtney access to the guest card?
	She needs to be able to tweet that out.
	- Yeah. - I had the opportunity to actually go out to that scene.
	- All right, hold on a second. - I find it very hard that a fall could have caused all the damage that he had.
	And as far as him being, you know, sideswept. - A month later, Border Patrol agent's death remains a mystery.
	- He was actually on the side road.
	Okay, so he's a border patrol agent right now.
	And he's been killed.
	Which is really sad.
	The one person who might have answers, Agent Garland, says he doesn't remember anything.
	Doesn't remember anything.
	Garland has so far not responded to anything.
	Okay, so he's a Border Patrol agent right now, and he's been killed, which is really sad.
	The death remains a mystery.
	My inclination right now is to go, it's probably not as much of a mystery as CNN wants to make us believe, because it is incredibly dangerous and violent on the border, and my guess is it's border-related.
	music Call it a hunch.
	- The Border Patrol Union says that Garland suffered severe head trauma, that he wants to remember, he wants to get this out in the open, and he wants for justice to be done.
	And Bill and Allison, one other important point to make, and that's that Angie Ochoa says she asked the FBI whether it's possible that Martinez was killed with rocks.
	The FBI told her there was no evidence to support that.
	- Oh my God. - This is the problem, this is the problem too. - It's so mysterious and it only gets more so an obvious way.
	So mysterious.
	This is the problem, too, with news, right?
	With cable news.
	They are wondering if he possibly was bludgeoned to death with bloody rocks.
	Like, your reaction, and we have this on the show, is, oh my God!
	Like, a guy was killed on the border, a border patrol agent, with rocks?
	But it's somehow seen as more professional.
	It's like, was he killed with rocks?
	This guy might have been... some son of a bitch might have hit him with rocks.
	Isn't that sick?
	If people reacted the way Americans react, we would have an entirely different skew on these stories.
	Mulling your wine intake.
	That hair does look plastic-y, doesn't it?
	Her hair?
	It doesn't move.
	It doesn't budge.
	Food as fuel.
	Oh, Lisa Dreher.
	Here's her shot.
	Is this Josh Tesh?
	John Tesh?
	Who?
	Josh Tesh.
	Who are you talking about?
	John.
	Joshua?
	I have no idea.
	This is not news.
	Hey, okay, really quickly, before they say anything on CNN, tweet me at hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.
	How many glasses of wine a day should you drink if you're a man or woman?
	Okay, what's considered moderate?
	Quick, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
	You got it!
	One for women, two for men.
	Done.
	We have to deal with a 50-minute report for this?
	Look at this.
	There's some poor schmuck who had to get B-roll of grapes and wine glasses.
	You know that was shot at an intern's apartment and he had his nine roommates who were living in the Lower East Side, like, get out, get out, I have to get the hero shot of the grapes, they wanna do a report online.
	Be quiet, I need the audio for thinking.
	And she was just hired to like, can you wear it as low cut as possible without starting the boob open?
	Can you do that?
	Just wear it as low as you can before the crevice starts, and then a little lower, and you're going to sell wine.
	This is going to be news.
	The most trusted name in news.
	The most trusted.
	All right, so when we have Peterson on, am I going to listen through the main speaker, or do I have to put headphones on?
	You hear the speaker, and then you'll have him in your feed there.
	All right, then.
	Hold on a second.
	Hold on one second.
	Hold on one second here.
	Sven, you're in on the text thread, right?
	Do you have that up on your computer?
	Yes.
	Okay, good.
	So, you know, bring those up as soon as they come in, too, and the research document.
	We have it right here.
	A month after Border Control Agent's death, his fiancée has no answers.
	Pretty sure it has to do with being on the border and it being an absolute lawless hellhole because, yes, of illegal immigrants.
	The border's a horrible place.
	All right.
	Thus far, we've done right.
	Thank you.
	And by the way, they have balls.
	They're sponsoring this program.
	A lot of people don't realize this.
	A lot of firearm companies actually work with the anti-gun lobby.
	Like, they'll put in the little trigger locks.
	They'll be like, yes, yes, yes, just don't target us.
	We'll do this.
	We'll put in extra bump safeties.
	We'll make sure our guns can't be sold in California.
	Walter does this.
	Yeah, you have more buttons?
	You got it.
	Walter does this.
	Okay?
	They said you can't import these from Germany, Walter, because they have stupid laws of their PPK being too small.
	So they said, okay, you know what?
	We're gonna build us a plant in Fort Smith, Arkansas.
	And now they're gonna be able to get them to you.
	So now they're actually American-built.
	American-made.
	They're German-engineered and they're assembled here in the United States.
	We're trying to say they're not pussies.
	No, exactly.
	Walther is the firearm company.
	With lock boxes that you can file a petition to get the key for the lock box.
	Oh, and I love old Smith & Wessons.
	I got some old revolvers, but Smith & Wesson and Ruger were the worst offenders of that.
	Oh, yeah, yeah.
	They just came in and they just, they totally acquiesced.
	Okay, we have our first guest.
	Are we ready?
	Is it tweeted out?
	Everyone know that we have a first guest?
	Okay, because I have too many things to manage here.
	Way too much on my plate to try and get out guest cards and do research at the same time.
	Dr. Peterson, are you there, sir?
	I'm here.
	How are you, sir?
	How are you this morning?
	You look far more well-rested than any of us.
	Yeah, well, hopefully I'm sharper and better looking than the rest of you, too.
	Yeah, well, that's generally the case.
	Now, you're aware of what's going on today, correct?
	I'm not aware of anything.
	As a matter of fact, I just woke up.
	What happened?
	Clean your room, get up early.
	No, I mean, you're aware that this is a CNN livestream, that right as we're talking, I've been watching CNN all morning and I'm going to do it for 16 hours.
	Oh my god.
	Yeah.
	No one told you this when they booked you?
	You just thought this was a norm?
	I think they probably did.
	They probably did.
	Well, I don't know what to talk with you.
	Okay, so you're our first guest of the day.
	Thank you so much.
	Those are lovely pajamas you have on.
	Yes.
	Onesie.
	And by the way, our sponsor, Walther.
	So onesie, I've got my Walther firearm right here.
	Yes.
	So last year, I don't know if you know, I was waterboarded, Dr. Peterson.
	I was waterboarded live on air.
	And rightfully so.
	Yes.
	We said, what can we do that's more painful legally than being waterboarded?
	Because we had a lot of people join at lottoescryter.com slash mug club for the waterboarding.
	Apparently, our fans like to see me get hurt.
	Naki Jared, tase me in the chest.
	By the way, Dr. Peterson, first thing it says on the taser is do not tase near chest area.
	So we decided this year we're going to watch CNN for 16 hours.
	It serves two purposes.
	It's worse torture for me, and we get to expose their biases.
	So let me give you a quick recap.
	We started off with Trump, and it was, did Trump meddle?
	Did the Russians meddle?
	Or is there collusion?
	They insinuated that Mueller's about to be fired.
	President Trump said that he wouldn't.
	And of course, they've said, There might be a government shutdown.
	We're going to be adding to the trillions of the debt with the tax bill.
	This is how they presented every single story.
	Their most trusted name in news.
	Also, Dr. Peterson, you shouldn't drink more than two glasses of wine as a man or one as a woman.
	So, in your opinion as a doctor, is there anything here that you find interesting to explore?
	Well, I think that if you're going to watch 16 hours of CNN, that you should probably drink more than two glasses of wine.
	Yeah, that makes a whole lot of sense.
	And maybe if you had a choice between not being tased, you should pick being tased.
	But I tell you, I wouldn't pick dressing up in that pajama over 16 hours of CNN.
	I've made a lot of mistakes that have led me to this point in my life, Dr. Peterson.
	Well, you look terrible, too.
	I mean, you look like you've been up for a very long time.
	I haven't, though.
	I haven't yet.
	Believe me.
	I've been up early, but 16 hours.
	Oh, my God.
	I thought we were at the end of the 16 hours.
	No, no, no, no, no.
	This is just starting.
	If you want to call back in and check and give your expert medical opinion, we'll take it.
	No, we obviously prepped for a couple of hours, but we started at 8 p.m.
	Eastern, so we're not even an hour in.
	Oh, God.
	We're not even an hour in, but now you have media in Canada.
	You have basically CBC.
	What else do you have?
	You have CBC, Radio Canada in Quebec.
	Is there any non-government-funded news media anymore in Canada?
	Oh, yeah.
	Yeah, yeah.
	There's lots of it.
	CTV still operates.
	There's plenty of non-government-funded... Well, CTV gets government credits.
	Yeah, well, there's always been a lot of government support for public media in Canada or for broadcast media in Canada because it's faced such overwhelming competition from the U.S., although I think that's really become a non-issue in the last, I would say, ten years.
	When I was young, Canadians had themselves wrapped in a knot trying to decide what their identity was, you know, in contrast to the United States.
	That was the preoccupation of Toronto elites for like 20 years, but Canada is actually populated enough now and has enough big cities so that I think our concern about our national identity has decreased and Wait!
	Hold on a second!
	David Axelrod is on TV!
	Jordan Peterson?
	He's still there!
	I'm amazed!
	Did you know that he was still alive?
	I'm afraid I didn't know that.
	that he has no mustache anymore you know what's weird is is uh he has no upper lip look at that it almost looks like he had like like someone penciled in a lip and did not like a jackson uh one of the jacksons good lord maybe it shrank away because it didn't get any sunlight during those years it's like a caterpillar just crawled away and it was left shriveled Yeah, you know, it's funny you say that about Toronto media, about Canada media.
	It seems to me when I lived there, their big identity was, we're not America.
	That was a huge component to it.
	Yeah, that's not much of an identity.
	I mean, first, not being America isn't necessarily such a great thing, because America's actually not such a bad place.
	Especially compared to the rest of the world, which is really the appropriate comparison, rather than some socialist utopia.
	Of course, we've seen what those are like, especially with Venezuela.
	The whole starving child thing down there doesn't seem to be working out very well for the radical leftists.
	They've been suppressing that information because that's how you keep child mortality rates down in a totalitarian state.
	Well, it's interesting that you bring that up, right?
	Because we ran this story many times, Senator Bernie Sanders saying bread lines are not necessarily a bad thing.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Right?
	Saying look at Venezuela, Sean Penn, I think Nancy Pelosi, but for sure Bernie Sanders, Sean Penn, all the celebrities saying look at Venezuela, it's unbelievable, it's criminal, they call him a dictator.
	This man has done so much for the people of Venezuela and now that it's crumbling, they just don't talk about it.
	They just sweep it aside and say what about Denmark?
	Then the Danish Prime Minister says we're not socialists, we're a market-driven economy.
	vacation aruba for the summer you can literally see venezuela just just you can figuratively see best weather just just in flames across the cross you could just like it's like it'd be interesting to to do a video compilation of of people's support for venezuelan politics and to ask them the questions about what they think now
	Now, my suspicions are it'd be some conspiracy or theory about how Venezuela's economy is tanked because the capitalist countries have put sanctions on it or something like that, instead of noting the simple explanation, which is The policies were absolutely catastrophic.
	Venezuela was actually a rich country.
	That's the thing that's so terrifying.
	It's one of the most resource-rich countries, I think, in the world.
	Canada is one of the most resource-rich countries in the world as far as not only oil but mineral.
	Not so much, you know, once you go past Quebec City, you're getting pretty seasonal with your fruits and vegetables there, Dr. Peterson.
	I would say so, yeah.
	Lots of squash.
	But they move on from it, right?
	Venezuela.
	Same thing today, we were just talking about.
	We just went through five fake Russia stories, because now they're moving on to the Mueller investigation.
	They had Representative Schiff on here.
	Nine months ago, he said he had information.
	Nine months ago, and there's nothing.
	It's becoming clearer and clearer.
	There's nothing that they have.
	But they had the fake Trump dossier.
	They had the Scaramucci report.
	They're facing a $100 million libel.
	So CNN has, if you go back, they've talked about Russia forever.
	And these stories were verifiably false.
	So they just move on to the next one.
	And I think it's very comparable to Venezuela, right?
	They just say, oh, well, look how great Venezuela.
	Oh, it crumbles.
	Look how great the Canadian health care system is.
	Now they allow privatized super hospital.
	Look at Denmark, 180 percent car tax.
	And so they just rather than say we were wrong.
	And this is kind of socialism and Marxism and postmodernism to a T.
	There's never been ever a successful example.
	You just give it a little more time and it crumbles and they never acknowledge it.
	They move on to the next portion of the cycle.
	Well, I would say, though, in defense, like there are there are some things in Canada that are working quite well.
	I would say the health care system here, it's not obvious to me that the health care system here works worse than it does in the US.
	You know, I've lived in both places and I've had interactions with the health care system.
	There are problems in Canada with wait times for certain operations and that's really a consequence of rationing that emerges because there isn't a private system.
	That's a problem.
	But you know, Our hospitals pay very low overhead compared to American hospitals with regards to doing things like collecting bills, because American hospitals have to have a huge administrative overhead just to handle their finances.
	Oh sure, because of insurance.
	Well, there's something about health care that doesn't easily fit into a strict capitalist paradigm, you know, and I think it might have something to do with the fact that there's actually infinite demand for it.
	No, I'm not making the claim that a socialized medical system, A, would work in the U.S.
	I mean, Canada is a much smaller country, and we instituted a socialized medical care system back in the 60s when this was also a much smaller country.
	But it isn't obvious that it's not working Can I give you a couple of reasons why I think it's pretty obvious that it doesn't work?
	Sure.
	Obviously, wait times, mortality rates, no one would deny that.
	If you have cancer, if you have a serious disease, your best chance of living, whether you're rich or poor, is in the United States.
	But let me ask you this, right?
	Lower overhead.
	And you're right.
	I don't think it's fair to just compare hospitals.
	Because hospitals are based on a predicated idea of insurance, right?
	And we have illegal immigrants here who use hospitals for their care.
	No social security number, no credit card.
	They never deny you care.
	They just walk out and never pay.
	But right now, for example, let's say you rupture your disc.
	Right now, you blow it out.
	You need to get an MRI done to figure out if you need back surgery.
	Do you know how long you'd be waiting there and how much that would cost?
	You mean how long I would be waiting in Canada?
	Yeah, it would be many, many months.
	Well, I know that I would be facing a relatively painful wait in the emergency room.
	Yes.
	Well, they don't have MRI machines in most emergency rooms, whereas here, I make a phone call right now, I pay $350, I have an MRI, and if I need surgery, I can be on the table by the afternoon.
	So quality of care And then I also think it's important to remember one thing, and we've talked about this, you know, Canada can enjoy the luxury of a lot of these socialized programs because we, we protect the free world.
	And then when even you look at that, it's okay.
	Oh yeah, there we go.
	It's true.
	It's absolutely true.
	But then...
	How much research is coming out of Canada?
	Medical research.
	It's not even close, right?
	So you can have lower overhead because the United States creates and innovates.
	It's expensive to do.
	And other countries say, well, we're going to subsidize it through the government.
	But someone has to come up with, you know, with the newest cancer treatment.
	Someone has to come up with the newest, you know, the newest, I don't know whether it's a pink, pink, someone has to find a fix for pancreatic cancer down the line.
	They're not even trying in a lot of these other countries that offer socialized care, disregarding the quality.
	So I do think I had to step I had to step outside the socialized medical system in Canada.
	My daughter required an ankle replacement about five or six years ago.
	Yeah, who is right?
	It was pretty volleyball.
	She has rheumatoid arthritis and so she had a hip and an ankle replacement when she was 16, so it was pretty bloody catastrophic.
	So we learned everything you need to know about the medical system in a very painful amount of time.
	We had to step outside the Canadian public medical system for the ankle replacement because the waiting list Waiting list was two years, which was completely impossible because she was in excruciating pain.
	But I should say what's interesting is that the provincial government here, when we contacted them, actually helped us, strangely enough, arrange a private hospitalization for her in British Columbia.
	And so Canada has done a reasonable job of trying to amalgamate a system that allows people access to emergency or to medical care with With some, you know, outside the rules speeding up.
	Here's something interesting for you though, Steven.
	Tell me what you think about this.
	Okay.
	Hold on one second, pause.
	Pause, pause, pause.
	Can I do it?
	This is a CNN livestream.
	You're much more interesting.
	But hold on, let me see.
	Current stopgap spending bill.
	Children's health insurance program.
	So basically they're saying kids are going to die.
	Okay, spend computer.
	Let's research that.
	I heard them say nine million children are going to die with this bill.
	Bring up why that's bullshit.
	Nine million tiny Tims, right?
	Yeah, nine million tiny Tims, they said earlier today.
	Okay, Dr. Peterson, continue.
	All right, guys, you're so heartless.
	Yeah.
	I know.
	Continue.
	Start with what you were saying.
	Hmm.
	Who's the Christmas robot?
	That's Sven Computer.
	He's here all the time.
	He's our researcher.
	He brings up the overlays.
	Oh, yes.
	Okay.
	Yeah.
	And he's got that tin hat on to protect him from, like, satellite radiation?
	No, it's because he's a computer, Dr. Peterson.
	Sven Computer, say hello.
	Hello, Mr. Peterson.
	I see.
	Hey.
	Hey.
	I see.
	Beep beep.
	No, no, no, no, no.
	You go over to Infowars and that may be the case.
	He's just an actual living, breathing Sven computer.
	Okay, so I'm playing devil's advocate here a little bit, but let me tell you something that's quite interesting.
	So, the rate of private entrepreneurship in Canada per capita is actually higher than it is in the U.S.
	And there's been some investigations into why that is.
	I know it's hard to believe, but it happens to be the case.
	And one explanation that's been floated is the fact that young people in particular have socialized medical care because they are completely covered no matter No matter, like from one job to another, no matter when they switch jobs, that they're much more able to take an entrepreneurial risk when they're young because they don't have to worry about health care coverage for themselves or their family.
	So there's some evidence, and I'm not saying necessarily that it's reliable evidence, but there's some evidence that laying in that underlying, what would you call it, foundation of security enables people to take risks that they might not otherwise take.
	Which I think is kind of a, if it's true, it's kind of comical that a socialized program would actually facilitate private enterprise.
	So what do you think about that?
	I'm not familiar with the study, but here is what I would say initially.
	I mean, first off, we know if you look at Fortune 500 companies, if you look at companies that have innovated and created, I mean, even as a percentage of the population, it's just not even close with the United States.
	I think Germany is the only European country up there.
	But I would be very surprised.
	As someone who left, you know, the world where I was at one point employed by other people, because I really wanted to start this myself, and now we employ 12 people, it never would have even crossed my mind Uh, that why I won't do it unless I get healthcare.
	Yes, and 12 people who could have never found employment any other way, too.
	Yes, this is true.
	Thank you.
	Tell them.
	Tell them, because, uh... I was, I was telling them.
	I'm sure they're listening.
	Uh, but, uh, it never would have even crossed my mind.
	That guy with the, like, the thin hat there.
	Like, I don't know what he would have done.
	It never even crossed my mind, and I can't imagine it crossing the mind of someone who really, because if you're an entrepreneur, you're taking a risk.
	And so these people, inherently, like you would probably do with your personality assessment, this would probably go under industriousness, the people who really tend to rise to the top are people who take that risk.
	And I can't imagine someone who would have been a successful entrepreneur, who would have started Apple, who would have started Microsoft, who would have started the company that, ElectroVoice that creates RE20s, But didn't end up doing it because they didn't have socialized healthcare with a two-year wait time for an ankle replacement.
	I'm very skeptical of the claim.
	I'm not saying it's wrong, but it doesn't seem to fit with the personality of an entrepreneur.
	Well, I have this great idea for desalinizations that'll give us access to all of the world's water at a fraction of the price, but...
	Yeah, I think it's probably more borderline cases, you know, where people are have our young people have a family that started and they're deciding whether they could risk an entrepreneurial venture or stay in a secure job.
	You know, I think you're right that the people who are really classic entrepreneurs and they're high in openness, by the way, not conscientiousness that the entrepreneur entrepreneur types are like artists, not like not like managers and administrators.
	They're high in openness, which actually predisposes them to liberalism, by the way, which is partly why places like Silicon Valley tend to be quite liberal.
	Entrepreneurs and managers are quite different in their personality.
	But anyways, I mean, I'm not all that interested in making a walloping strong case for the benefits of socializing.
	No, no, I listen, but I understand it because you come on the show.
	I don't want you to be labeled a right-wing extremist like myself.
	We don't necessarily agree on everything, but... Hey, look, I've already been called Hitler, so...
	Yes.
	I don't know if you... Have you been following the Lindsey Shepard affair with Wilfred Laurier University?
	Oh, I have.
	I have.
	But, you know, I would... We do have to let you go, Dr. Peterson, but if you don't want to be called Hitler, I would avoid the high step.
	It's, you know, the way you walk is somewhat disconcerting, and there are really only two people who walk that way.
	Hitler and yourself.
	I know it's just... No.
	It's a gate.
	No, there's three.
	John Cleese walks that way, too, at the Ministry of Silly Walks.
	This is true!
	At the Ministry of Silly Walks.
	Dr. Peterson, where's the best place for people to go and take your personality quiz?
	We have to go back to fact-checking CNN.
	Yep, well, they can go to understandmyself.com for the personality test and selfauthoring.com if they want to write about their past and improve their future, and both of those really work.
	All right, there you go.
	And at Jordan B. Peterson on the Twitter.
	Thank you, Dr. Peterson.
	We have to go.
	I have some fact-checking here on the CHIPS program.
	We'll see you later.
	Good.
	All right, do you have this ready, Sven, computer, for the overlay?
	Okay, so they're talking about, right now, CHIP.
	They're saying that the Republicans are going to fund CHIP, the thing that Kimmel was basically talking about for his kid being sick.
	The truth is that actually, the House passed legislation months ago to continue funding CHIP.
	This is the whole thing, 9 million tiny Timbs are going to die.
	No, for five years, Democrats opposed it because they didn't like the funding mechanism.
	And by the way, it's important to note that CHIP has never gone unfunded.
	So in the interim, while Kimmel was like, listen, I feel bad for your son, Not just because he's sick, but because his dad's a pussy.
	But, you know, no one has taken away funding from your children.
	We need a cure for pussy dads.
	No one has taken away funding from Jimmy Kimmel's children.
	And the House pushed, okay, we'll fund it for five years.
	Democrats didn't like the funding mechanism, i.e.
	that usually means Democrats don't like that it funds all of the other things.
	For example, if I say, hey, we want – oh, you got it up there, Sven Computer?
	From Ben Shapiro.
	From Ben Shapiro.
	Uh-oh.
	Notorious Jewish Nazi.
	Sorry, I just realized I don't have a cough mic, and I aerated the microphone.
	I've eaten a big bowl of oatmeal this morning.
	So this is just so funny to me that – okay, let me read this here.
	here i think i have it from the chip hasn't gone the centers for medicare and medicaid services have been signing checks to states for the last two months last week president trump signed funding for chip to avoid the consequences of a government shutdown sanity majority leaders and on sunday we need to make sure that children's health insurance program that's chip just expiring gets to the panel before the end of the year they have taken so many measures republicans to make sure that this does not happen the premise on cnn is just republicans
	Republicans are a and want to defund chip because they want nine million to use their words earlier for people who weren't on the hashtag Crowder CNN live stream.
	They want you to believe that nine million tiny Tims will die because Republicans don't care about kids.
	This is how they present the story.
	Everything about that is false, including the attributed motive and intent.
	I just possible government shutdown.
	Possible government shutdown.
	Here's one thing.
	Remember when there was a government shutdown?
	Remember when that happened?
	Yeah, I didn't notice.
	Nothing happens.
	No, it's like, ah, I can't visit Yellowstone.
	Oh, no.
	And I think maybe if you're working... I don't even know if they have a government shutdown.
	I don't even think federal employees stop getting their checks.
	I'm not sure.
	Someone can tweet me and fact check that.
	I don't even know that that's the case.
	But I know that it was like, oh, we won't be able to visit public parks.
	Oh, no.
	Oh, we have another guest already.
	Oh, we have another guest.
	All right, listen, are people able to tweet out the guest cards?
	Are they going out?
	Yeah, they're going out.
	Okay, good.
	We have another guest on with us.
	So we just fact-checked Chip, not the one with Eric Estrada.
	That was great, though.
	We have Owen Benjamin with us on the Twitter, at the Owen Benjamin.
	Or is it Owen Benjamin?
	What is it?
	Owen Benjamin?
	It's just at Owen Benjamin, because the name is long enough.
	Owen, how are you, sir?
	Hello, Steven.
	Have you been following?
	I just woke up, my friend.
	Ugh.
	That's everyone.
	Let's get up.
	All right.
	What do you want?
	Do you want a recap?
	So they've been saying, okay, is Trump, is Trump, is it meddling or collusion with the Russians?
	They just said there are going to be 9 million tiny Tims who die because the Republicans don't want to fund the child health care initiative, CHIP as they call it, which is They tried to fund it for the next five years, but Democrats want it to fund all the things, and so they said no.
	Um, Allison Camerota's hair doesn't move, and there's a guy in there who looks like... Remember those... Maybe you can help us.
	Remember those balls?
	Those, like, Nerf balls with the faces on them?
	They're like monster balls or something?
	You don't remember what I'm talking about?
	I feel like I had a nightmare about one of those.
	Yes!
	Yes!
	Yeah.
	Uh, well I was trying to remember the name of it.
	It was his whole faces.
	Yes, yes, yes.
	I remember.
	There's a guy on here who has that, and I don't know who he is.
	So, that's what's happened thus far.
	Uh, your thoughts?
	Uh, the nine million tiny Tims is really funny.
	I don't know how people haven't inoculated that yet.
	Like, how are people taking any of that seriously?
	Like, when CNN, like, anytime they do a policy thing, they're like, They're getting rid of a DMV, so 40 million unicorn children will die this morning.
	And everyone's like, yeah, that's valid.
	Yeah, that's a valid criticism.
	Yeah, all the tiny Tims.
	Which is almost impossible, because 6 million died from the net neutrality.
	Yes, this is true.
	6 million people died from net neutrality.
	How many more have to die because Comcast can charge more if you watch 9 hours of 4K Netflix a day?
	How many more people have to die? 30,000.
	Alright, Owen, what's on your heart and mind?
	I'll go back to CNN.
	CNN is always going today.
	It's like a Chinese water drip.
	I did waterboarding.
	It's like a Chinese water torture.
	It's a slow drip.
	I know.
	It just gives me cortisol.
	When I watch CNN, I just get this stress hormone where I'm just like, oh, I'm in Levity Live in New York and last night I did a show and kind of, I did an extra half hour and was just kind of ranting about various things.
	Yes.
	Oh, geez, we missed.
	We missed.
	We went late.
	We missed.
	Well, I'll just have to swap him with the first YouTube Carol.
	That's true.
	I forgot.
	Sorry, Owen.
	We have the whole premiere today of a YouTube Carol, which is the tale of Ebeneezer YouTube.
	You know this well.
	We were on with Jordan Peterson so long.
	Hey, look!
	It's the Quadrant View!
	Okay, here's a funny story about that, Owen.
	I don't know if you can see.
	Can Owen see that at all?
	I can see it.
	You see the Quadrant View?
	One time, I swear this is true, I was at Fox News.
	Okay?
	That's okay.
	That's enough of the Quadrant View.
	Don't show them more CNN than they have to see.
	So I was at Fox, and we were at the same desk.
	In the same room.
	And they're like, Oh, one of our one of our satellite people, they couldn't make it.
	So what we're gonna do is we're gonna put you in quadrants.
	So it looks more international.
	So it looks like you know, we have more people coming together.
	And I just like so just just don't just we're gonna be in a quadrant.
	Just don't look at them look at the camera.
	Right.
	So I'm here.
	I think I might have been Lonnie Davis.
	So I'm here in Lion Davis, and we're talking to the camera, and then right at the very end of it, I said, all right, high five.
	And I reached into his box.
	No way!
	That's awesome!
	And I got called into the second floor with the vice presidents at Fox, and they were like, oh, you can't do that.
	And I was like, this is so silly!
	Why?
	What if it turns out they're just huge Brady Bunch fans?
	I was like, here's a story of a dick named Lemon!
	And a random black guy in the corner.
	We think he writes for the Wall Street Journal, but we didn't pay for access.
	That's one thing.
	Wall Street Journal has the best articles out of the old papers, but you have to pay for the access.
	So what I do is I go on mobile.
	Is this illegal what I'm about to say?
	No.
	I go on mobile, and what I do is I load it, and before it finishes loading, I hit the reader view button on my phone.
	You just killed nine million more children.
	Nine million just died.
	What was that, Sven Computer?
	And I didn't hear you.
	Okay, what was it?
	But you do realize we now have a Wall Street Journal account.
	We do have a Wall Street Journal account?
	For two weeks now.
	That makes me feel better about myself.
	We're moving on up.
	Oh, and where are you going to be appearing next?
	Are you taking a break here for Christmas?
	I'll be, uh, I'm not performing at Christmas, but I'm at Levity Live this weekend.
	Okay, where's that?
	It's in, uh, West Nile, New York.
	It's like a little north of New York City, but south of where I live in the Adirondacks, so they don't really have an accurate identity of who they are.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Like, it's like the city versus, like, I live with, like, bears.
	Like, we're like north-of-the-wall wildling type people.
	And then you have New York City, and then you have this, like, weird little, like, mall area.
	Yeah.
	And New York City is just the eunuch who hangs around Daenerys.
	Or Peter Dinklage.
	Everyone chops their ween off at the bridge.
	Yeah, exactly.
	It's the eunuch who's conniving, but he manipulates Peter Dinklage.
	I think that you need to do this.
	Inherit your rightful role.
	They're always whispering in each other's ears everywhere you go.
	In New York City, everyone's like, don't believe him.
	He is lies.
	Yeah.
	He wants to defund Chip.
	Nine million Tiny Tims dead.
	Compliment his shoes even though you don't believe it.
	Alison Camerota, your hair flows like that of golden yarn spun by the gods.
	What's weird to me is, do you notice with King- Oh god, it's like angry long-faced Ben Shapiro with a buzz cut.
	That's great.
	If you take Ben Shapiro's face, punch him so you're left, so from his right, so his nose goes, buzz cut him, and then lengthen the face in Photoshop without hitting shift.
	It's Shapiro!
	Ben had sex with Latino Eric Trump.
	He looks like the guy whose dad just never picked him up from soccer practice.
	Like, when you just stand there, it's just kinda like, where's dad?
	He's gonna be here.
	I know he cares about me.
	He said he's gonna be here.
	Oh, right.
	He does a lot of online poker.
	I love how they have to say Getty Images.
	Whose phone is ringing in the studio?
	I love how it says Getty Images on there, on CNN, which is just so funny to me.
	They're getting their images from the same place we are.
	I know, it's just like a normal guy.
	Like, CNN's just like a dude.
	That's all it is.
	Like, it's funny.
	We used to assume, like, well, this comes from news.
	They're just reporting on things that we've talked about before they're reporting on them.
	That's all it is.
	Like, it's online, and then it's on CNN two to three hours later.
	There's no breaking.
	It's like, breaking!
	You're like, well, hold on a second.
	You just read something on Twitter, or you read something that we wrote, and now you're using Getty Images, and, you know, because you paid...
	There's no advantage to it anymore.
	Nikki Haley is fine, though.
	I do think she's fine.
	Don't you think Nikki Haley's pretty fine for a lass her age?
	Yeah.
	Oh, look at that, look at that.
	I don't feel like you'd believe that.
	Trump just always looks like such a silverback gorilla.
	Like, he's just like, what?
	Look at Nikki Haley.
	You don't think she's a pretty woman?
	She's a very pretty woman.
	I think Nikki Haley's pretty.
	Like, people, they just always throw that out, like, with Republicans.
	They're like, uh, you know, like Michelle Bachman.
	I'm like, listen, no.
	Like, Sarah Palin was pretty, but there's like any, any conservator, like Ann Coulthard or Laura Ingraham.
	I don't know.
	I think Nikki Haley is a genuinely pretty woman.
	And I don't think she'd make a bad thing.
	Why not as hot as Nancy Pelosi is hot.
	Yes.
	Yeah.
	Well, she's like the dark crystal because she never, she never ages because she's sucking the souls.
	But she looks like it's the souls that sucked out of her body.
	Out of the eyesight bit?
	That was such a traumatizing feeble.
	I can't bring myself to watch it.
	Oh, I can't bring myself to watch it either.
	Hold on, let me look at the schedule, Owen, to see where we have to hit.
	Okay, we do have a guest there at 9.
	We have James O'Keefe.
	Then we have Gavin McInnes.
	So it's a busy day.
	I'm trying to see, is there anything else, Sven Computer, that CNN has said that we need to fact check?
	It seems like they've just been on Trump-Russia and Republicans wanting to kill children, right?
	Apparently that's the case.
	Beep, beep.
	Okay.
	Nine million tiny Tim's dead.
	Owen, listen, you've been with us now for long enough.
	Or is he gone?
	I'm right here.
	Oh, he's still here.
	Owen, you've been with us long enough.
	You've – I just don't like you talking about your other guests while I'm here.
	Sorry.
	Owen, how many fake Trump-Russia stories have there been?
	And do you notice that they just... This is the thing I'm noticing today.
	They just move on to the next one.
	They just move on to the next one, even though it's verifiably false.
	Like, they're facing a $100 million libel suit right now for reports and dossiers that we know were wrong.
	They never acknowledge it.
	Now they're just moving on to another one, which will be false tomorrow.
	It's just nonstop.
	I did a bit a year ago.
	I put it on YouTube a year ago that's still valid to show just how full of it they are.
	It was the one about, like, Trump-Russia, where it's like, but you still did hack the emails though, right?
	The emails are true, and the Democrats are like, well, yeah, but that's not the issue here.
	The issue, and then, like, in the bit, nothing more has come out since then.
	Like, not one thing has changed.
	Like, they keep being like, oh, yeah, he got peed on in Russia, and then it turns out it wasn't true, and then they're like, there's more breaking news.
	Well, Judd Apatow, I just watched, have you seen Judd Apatow's comedy special on Netflix?
	No, I don't want to kill myself.
	Well, here's the thing.
	It was actually it was funny.
	It was actually the least profane he's been.
	Like it could have been a PG-13.
	And it was actually really it wasn't like he's not a strong stand up.
	But him talking about his family and these stories, he was actually pretty likable until he got to talking about politics.
	And then he just said, like, we know the Trump thing isn't true.
	But wouldn't it be great if it were and used it to go into this lazy launch into Trump?
	But I feel as though that's effectively just what the news is saying, what they're doing.
	They're just saying.
	That was also, remember, that was also the, uh, the, the Booker who was booking for, was it Bill Maher?
	Bill Maher.
	Yeah.
	But what did he like?
	Yeah, Bill Maher.
	I wasn't on Bill Maher.
	Yeah, they did the pre-interview test.
	Yeah.
	This was after Beauty and the Beast, and I was laughing, like, what are you talking about?
	I said, well, on the show we talked about in Beauty and the Beast today how there aren't enough black roles, but we put black people in powdered wigs in French colonial eras, and like, you know, obviously it goes both ways.
	She was like, well, you think you want to talk about Disney on air?
	I was like, no, you asked me what I was talking about.
	She's like, well, what about the Russian dossier?
	I'm like, well, it's fake.
	She's like, well, what if it weren't?
	Don't you feel like that's the news now?
	Like, it's fake, but what if it weren't?
	That's the whole thing.
	100%.
	It's the best time to be a comic right now of all time.
	Because it's almost like all these other comedians are just crippling themselves and just the fact that all make fun of, like, Islam.
	I feel like that one boat who made it in Gump, like when the storm hits and all the other fishing boats are just ruined and then Gump's boat just sails out.
	Because it's like all these other comics refuse to acknowledge, like, all these hilarious premises.
	I know.
	It's just non-stop.
	Oh look, I guess SD Cup has a show now.
	Thank God for House of Cards, that really boosted her career.
	She was at Fox for a while, then MSNBC, now she's got the sexy librarian schtick going on at CNN.
	Good for her.
	Alright, listen, Owen, we have to, I like SC Cup, but let's be honest here.
	Do you think she woke up accident and like, it's like, okay, what am I going to today?
	Sexy librarian!
	And then she goes in Tuesday, okay, let me look, and sexy librarian!
	Fast forward Friday, sexy librarian it is!
	That's my thing!
	Alright, Owen!
	I know, I know.
	I'm sorry for bringing you into this.
	Where's the best place for people to find you, brother?
	Uh, my webs- my web- uh, my YouTube!
	YouTube slash Owen Benjamin Comedy.
	YouTube slash Owen Benjamin Comedy, and of course, YouTube Carol's gonna be coming up, and Owen, uh, helped us with this behind the scenes.
	Thank you so much.
	I don't know if we'll be talking- we won't be talking on air before the new year, but you and I will definitely be talking, uh, here before then.
	Thanks so much!
	Love you, brother!
	Have a good one!
	Go get some sleep!
	All right, later buddy.
	See you very much, whichever that means.
	Okay, soon UN votes on Trump's Jerusalem decision.
	Considering that the UN might as well be called the We Hate Israel Committee, I can guess what's going to happen there.
	Look, three people who I like, and then the name of one that I don't, the UN.
	Okay, hold on a second.
	Hey look, that guy's Skyping in and he looks worse than Owen did.
	He also, his eyebrows look like he's perpetually surprised, or he just banged the burgermeistermeisterburger.
	Look at his eyebrows!
	I couldn't, I couldn't train my eyebrows to look like that if I tried.
	It looks like he had a concerning moment of a fart about to escape, and his face just froze that way.
	Oh wow!
	Hey, we're trending on Twitter, people!
	So everyone, tweet right now, hashtag CrowderCNNLivestream.
	We're trending and it's 8.24, you haven't even seen the first YouTube, Carol.
	Trust me, this is the worst part of today.
	We had to get through some kinks, it's gonna get better.
	I'm gonna have Jared in my chair here.
	But, Crowder CNN Livestream, everyone out there, everyone right now, everyone, the whole Crowder army, right now, I demand, I ask you, tweet out, Crowder CNN Livestream and Mug Club, join up, because this is how we fight CNN.
	Let me tell you something, people say, what's the end goal here?
	Alright, this is, let me just be real, and then we'll go to, can we move James O'Keefe back?
	Oh, he's at nine, okay, good.
	So we'll do this, and then we're gonna launch the very first segment ever of a YouTube Carol.
	People say, what's the endgame?
	The goal here is to, in two years' time, be bigger than any late night show out there.
	That means Kimmel, Fallon, Conan, and by the way, we're already at the heels of the late, late nights.
	The James Cordens, the Seth Meyers, okay?
	And certainly online and new media.
	If you go clip for clip, it's not even close.
	Our goal is to be bigger than them.
	Our goal is to double, triple, quadruple our size and employees and grow so that we have a network of people and that we can kick CNN's ass every single day.
	They are so We employ everybody here.
	It is exclusively through Mug Club.
	$99 annually.
	$69 for students, veterans, or active military.
	Enter in the code STUDENTVETERANMILITARY.
	But here's the thing.
	YouTube's demonetized us.
	Twitter's been Twitter's throttled.
	Facebook.
	You can Google Steven Crowder Facebook.
	You'll find the article on Engadget.
	We employ everybody here.
	It is exclusively through Mug Club.
	Ninety nine dollars annually.
	Sixty nine for students, veterans or active military.
	Enter in the code student veteran military.
	Not only do you get our show, but you also get Gavin McInnes.
	You get Mark Levin.
	You get Phil Robertson.
	Now you have Roaming Millennials.
	Who else did they just add?
	Roaming Millennial?
	Oh, Andrew Wilkow.
	So you get a whole network of people.
	You get this show daily, Morning Grinders, but more importantly, and listen, if you don't want to watch the show every night, you absolutely don't have to, but more importantly, we're able to put out more free content than ever.
	Because of MugClub.
	Right now we're able to do 16 hours of free content.
	Hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.
	Tweet it out.
	Let people know.
	This is free because people have paid to support it.
	That's why.
	The paid content.
	That's why we're able to interview Wendy Davis as a tranny in SheNotKnow.
	That's why we're able to go undercover in Antifa.
	That's what we're able to do.
	Change my mind.
	Think about this for a second.
	This right now is three people.
	Okay?
	Three people.
	The Burgermeister.
	He looks like the Joker who's been using Brand X when he tries to paint himself off.
	I don't know who the middle girl is.
	She's kind of cute.
	The lady on the left is like candy.
	It's like she's the candy.
	You know the dinosaur that you put in water to expand?
	Yeah, yeah.
	But the before of Candy Crowley.
	That's the one on the left.
	And they've got right now someone doing this.
	Cueing them.
	Going go.
	And they have 30 seconds.
	The biggest success this year hasn't been our undercover videos.
	We're incredibly grateful to be able to do it.
	Has been to change my mindset.
	It's opposite of everything you'd expect to be successful.
	It's the opposite of this.
	It's raw, and the only way we're able to do it, the only way we're able to do it is through Mug Club.
	Because we're able to take the time, it takes 2-3 days to go off, find a location, get a permit, hire security so that I don't get killed, go down and just record.
	And by the way, during the Christmas break we have another pro-life change in my mind, this one gets a little hostile.
	So it's all because of people who've joined up at Mug Club, we cannot thank you enough.
	And because of people who have paid, they've been awesome too.
	Our fans aren't selfish.
	That's what's awesome.
	They're not like, oh, we're paying for Muck Club.
	Why are you doing a free stream?
	They know that they're paying to get more content so that we can provide more free content.
	It's like the opposite of tax dollars when you think like, ah, geez, my tax dollars, they pay for what?
	Right.
	Tranny nipples?
	No.
	It's like the opposite.
	It's like the reward.
	Like, oh, my Muck Club dollar is paid for a Wendy Davis interview as a tranny.
	And it changed my mind, and now, you know, we're fast approaching, we might end the year with 1.2 million, the goal was 900,000 subscribers this year, we're at like 1.14 on YouTube.
	We don't make money off of them, but guess what it does?
	It allows us to be right next to the Young Turks.
	The whole reason for the mug, you watch the Daily Show because you're a fan, but for the people who aren't, who are watching, the Young Turks going, Is this bullshit?
	I think it's kind of bullshit.
	Our video is right next to theirs, and that's what we're doing today with CNN.
	I'm getting aggravated just listening to the bullcrap.
	If they're going to talk about Jerusalem and say anything other than Jerusalem belongs to and has always belonged to Israel, Hamas, democratically elected, has the destruction of all Jews in their charter, they're the bad guy, Israel's the good guy, we give Jerusalem to the good guy, period.
	If there's anything other than this, I'm gonna blow my lid live on air.
	Are we ready to go to the first?
	We are ready.
	Okay, this is, for people who don't, hash, right now, everyone tune in.
	This is going, this is about to kick off a five-part miniseries.
	Some cameos, some of your favorite guests.
	This is the tale of Ebenezer YouTube, a clutching, covetous, throttling, censoring old sinner visited by three spirits, the ghost of YouTube past, present, and future.
	To warn him of his ways, to warn him of the possible future of YouTube, and to see if we have a tale of redemption.
	So I present to you the very first segment right now.
	We'll have the five segments throughout the day of a YouTube Carol.
	The End
	The End Wazjiski was dead to begin with.
	As dead as a doornail.
	In life, Wojcicki was business partners with a shrewd totalitarian in Ebenezer U2.
	He was a tight-fisted hand at the grindstone, old Ebenezer U2.
	A squeezing, wrenching, censoring, throttling, covetous old sinner.
	Sound got crushed?
	Yes sir, Mr. Ebenezer YouTube, sir.
	Who's this?
	He's a partner, sir.
	And I believe he's here to discuss your recent demonetization.
	Is that so?
	Yes, sir.
	Mr. YouTube, sir.
	See, sir.
	With all the new changes with the advertising algorithm.
	It hits our channels real hard, sir.
	We can't make ends meet no more, sir.
	It's the holidays, sir.
	It's my wife.
	Lord, she's sick, it's her lungs.
	They ain't acting right, sir.
	The bitch can't breathe.
	Could you just please explain to me the new policy, sir?
	So, you know, so a n**** can earn a living again, sir?
	And so, you want to make a living off of YouTube?
	Yes, sir, Mr. YouTube, sir.
	I mean, I've been doing it for years, sir.
	Oh, and so because you made a living off YouTube Oh, no, Mr. YouTube, sir.
	You don't know us n**s, sh.
	I just wanted an opportunity to earn a living again like I used to, sir.
	See, sir, nobody understands the undisclosed policy, sir.
	I was here from the very beginning, you know?
	All you had was a bunch of cat videos.
	Is there no Mark Space?
	Is there no Tumblr?
	Well, of course, sir.
	There's always those, sir.
	Oh, thank heavens.
	For a moment, I was worried.
	I've worked really hard, sir.
	I have over 3 million subscribers.
	If I don't figure out this algorithm, my videos might as well be dead.
	If you'd rather your videos die, you better go and let them do it and decrease the surplus population.
	You gonna let this n***a talk to us like that?
	Man, shut up, bitch!
	Man, what are you talking about, man?
	We even did everything he said.
	All the advertising we spent on our YouTube channel.
	I said shut up, man.
	You acting like a damn liberal.
	Well, man, we did everything he did.
	We even went to that YouTube workshop.
	He even charged us for it.
	You two chose to grow your business by investing in YouTube and my platform with your time and money.
	That's not my business, but your own.
	Not your business?
	Bitch, you crazy as hell.
	Man, shut up!
	Now be quiet now!
	What are you talking about?
	You just gonna sit there and be a little bitch?
	No man, you need to shut up!
	Shut up!
	You know what?
	I got something for you.
	Yeah, you wanna see it?
	Look what we got.
	What do you got?
	Right here man.
	What you got for me?
	Right here is your Coon of the Year Award.
	Get off me John!
	Get off me!
	I have 20th time for this kind of picture about you on the end.
	I'm sorry, Mr.
	What the ?
	But Mr. Ebenezer, you too, sir.
	It's Christmas!
	I haven't time to make myself a Merry Christmas.
	And I certainly haven't time to make idle people merry.
	And if I had my way, every fool who went about with words Merry Christmas on his lips would be boiled with his own pudding and buried with the sake of a holly through his heart.
	So you more of a Hanukkah guy?
	Get out!
	Out!
	Out!
	Yes sir, Mr YouTube's up!
	It's just a device.
	It's only, it's just a device.
	Do whatever the f*** you want to do!
	Mr. Cratchit, I want this demonetization report on my desk with great haste.
	Yes sir, Mr. YouTube.
	Yes sir.
	Find us a legal way to shut down Mug Club.
	But Mr. YouTube sir, we have no jurisdiction over Mug Club.
	I don't know that, Mr. Cratchit, but it's the paint content off the platform that allows these street legends to upload more free content than ever on my platform on YouTube.
	So, you just don't want them to make a living at all?
	You'll find yourself out of a living soon if you don't do as I say, Creshet.
	Yes, sir, Mr. YouTube.
	I'll find a way to make sure no one makes a living off of that content, sir.
	You'll be wanting the whole day tomorrow, I suppose?
	If it would be convenient, sir.
	It is decidedly not convenient.
	If I were to halt your day's wages, I bet you'd feel yourself ill-used.
	It only comes once a year, sir.
	It's a poor excuse for picking a man's pocket every December 25th.
	Have the demonetization report on my desk all the earlier the next morning.
	Yes, sir.
	Yes, sir.
	Yes sir, thank you Mr. Sir.
	After closing his shop for the evening, Ebenezer YouTube walked his melancholy self through the cold, melancholy streets until he found himself at a familiar, melancholy melancholy streets until he found himself at a familiar, melancholy home.
	It was old enough now, and dreary enough, for nobody lived in it but Ebenezer U2 himself.
	For darkness was cheap, and Ebenezer YouTube liked it.
	BELL RINGS
	BELL RINGS In life, I was your former partner.
	YouTube CEO, Susan Wojcicki.
	Susan.
	Is that really you?
	Oh, son of a bitch.
	I already said it was me.
	Well, why are you here?
	Why are you wearing those terrible chains?
	Oh, I formed these chains in life.
	Due to my misleading business practices, my censorship, and general malfeasance, Ebeneezer, I came to warn you.
	Your chain was as big as mine when I got here, and you've been adding to it.
	Oh, you've got a big-ass chain.
	How far above YouTube CEO Susan Wojcicki?
	Speak comfort to me.
	Did you say comfort?
	I can't hear you!
	These chains forged in hell are kinda noisy.
	Oh, you'll be visited by three spirits.
	There's still hope for you, Ebeneezer YouTube.
	Expect the first spirit when the bell tolls one.
	First spirits?
	Couldn't I make them all at once get over with?
	Oh, don't be a dick!
	The spirits will come on the breaking of a new hour.
	Oh, Ebenezer!
	Change your ways!
	Don't be a dick, Ebenezer, you too!
	Don't be a dick!
	You were always such a dick!
	Don't be that dick!
	You might have sucked some dick, too!
	As ominously as the spirit had appeared, so it vanished into darkness.
	What happens with Ebenezer YouTube in the next few segments.
	There are four more to go.
	Send computer, bring up Twitter.
	Just bring up the Twitter feed, period, and we'll see the reaction.
	I'm getting some crazy reactions right now.
	Clint Howard in drag.
	No, it's not Clint Howard, it's Susan Wojcicki.
	Send computer, are you able to bring up the Twitter?
	It will take another ten seconds.
	He doesn't even realize it's in his contract.
	Gosh, so much for a neural net processor, a learning computer.
	Send me your tweets.
	Hashtag CrowderCNNLivestream.
	Send us your tweets.
	What do you think?
	How do you like Ebeneezer YouTube?
	Again, this actually gets pretty wild and wooly and entirely funded by Mug Club Productions in association with CRTV.
	You join, we can do these kinds of... It's basically a movie.
	It's like 40 minutes.
	No, it's not Dennis Prager.
	No, it's not Dennis Prager.
	Can we bring up the YouTube screen?
	All right, we have access to the Twitter, I mean.
	We have the Twitter screen?
	All right, let's bring it up.
	What do we see?
	We have the Black Ryan Gosling says, you are the shit.
	I don't know how I feel about that, but thank you.
	That was pure, that was freaking epic.
	Clint Howard is in an LWC movie.
	Well, we couldn't do it without Clint Howard.
	Who is a narrator on a YouTube Carol?
	Okay, listen, where are the t-shirts?
	We have some t-shirts.
	We're going to do some giveaways.
	So this is going to be a giveaway here.
	To who guesses, where is it?
	Where'd the shirts go?
	Someone stole them.
	Someone stole our t-shirts.
	We had a bunch of new t-shirts here somewhere.
	Alright.
	Free t-shirt to the first person who guesses who is the narrator in a YouTube Carol.
	Oh, there we go.
	Well, it just hit the light.
	Free t-shirt.
	Sven, keep it going.
	Free t-shirt to whoever is narrating a YouTube Carol.
	And by the way, this is launching today for people who cannot see it.
	This is the new shirt.
	It's the collage shirt.
	I don't know how close we can get on this.
	Maybe you can bring it up to the camera.
	I don't know what the zoom capabilities are.
	It's a new Lotto's Cutter Montage shirt.
	Who's narrating?
	Are they talking about the Melbourne attack right now?
	Is it breaking?
	That happened this morning.
	The guy was Afghani, I believe.
	He was a Muslim.
	Why are we still talking about this?
	Who is narrating Free T-Shirt 2?
	Whoever guesses it, Free T-Shirt 2?
	It has to be hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.
	No one.
	No one has guessed it yet.
	No one has guessed it yet.
	Which is amazing.
	Oh, no, wait.
	Someone did it.
	They misspelled it.
	I'm pretty sure it was in the opening credits.
	EricDoolittle77.
	Someone, you know what?
	I'll have Courtney follow you and get you a t-shirt.
	That is EricDoolittle77.
	Guessed it was Mark Rippetoe.
	Boom.
	Got it.
	Good.
	What did someone, CNN now?
	Don't you also love how the Melbourne attack into holiday?
	So right away, you have the Melbourne attack, which I believe, I'm not entirely, I was reading this morning, they found was a Muslim guy, right?
	Wasn't he Afghani?
	Someone let me know, unless I'm incorrect.
	You can tweet me at us, Crowder, at CrowderCNN livestream.
	Again, I'm finding out about the news as you are.
	So you're kind of learning what the process is like as we do this, as we go through news.
	I'm 99% sure that he was Afghani or he was Muslim.
	At Sven Computer, is that correct?
	Uh, yes.
	Okay, what was the guy's name?
	Let me look it up.
	Can you bring that down for just a second for me, sound guy Edward?
	I'm looking here to see who the attacker was.
	For the, um, Melbourne attack, okay, two people, blah blah blah, was of Afghan descent, even by... So just there, so this is a good example, just there, CNN reported on a Melbourne attack in Australia.
	We're just gonna tear them a new sphincter today.
	And that's why I have the overlay, because we're not cutting this in post.
	This is the show.
	This is the show that goes in the livestream archive.
	We're not cutting it.
	As soon as it's done, it's live.
	So we're not changing a damn thing.
	So, here's the deal with CNN.
	They just reported on a Melbourne attack, right?
	The Melbourne attack in Australia.
	What do we have?
	Afghan person who ran into a crowd of Christmas shoppers.
	Not only was there no mention of who the attacker was, who they know by their own admission.
	Sven, computer, bring up the overlay, the CNN.
	Do you have it?
	I can't right now because Jared just left.
	Oh, because Jared just left.
	Okay, never mind.
	Just forget about it.
	Forget about it.
	So I have it right here from CNN.
	Sayed Nori, Afghanistan.
	They just said drug addicted, alcohol, that kind of deal.
	Maybe just mental illness.
	You know, let's just assume.
	There you go.
	So this was, well, I wanted a CNN article, because CNN I have right here, by their own admission, the man was Afghani.
	They just did a report.
	They never mentioned that he was Afghani.
	They never mentioned Sayed Nori, Afghanistan-y man.
	And for the cherry on top of the politically correct mass murdering cake, they said holiday shoppers, not Christmas shoppers.
	So if you watch that story, you just think, oh, there was a car accident at some non-denominational holiday display.
	No, these were Christmas shoppers who were taken out by a Muslim terrorist.
	But that's how they present the story.
	All day.
	All day.
	Russia, Russia, Russia.
	9 million tiny Tims dead.
	For those who haven't watched it, you can rewind.
	Hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.
	9 million tiny Tims dead.
	Trump's going to fire Mueller.
	Russia, Russia, Russia.
	Schiff, they have Representative Schiff on, he's been saying he has evidence for 9 months, and now they just report an Afghan- Afghanistani...
	I've already started sending smoke signals out to ISIS.
	I want them to find us.
	his faith, no mention of where he's from, and they use the word holiday instead of Christmas.
	I don't know that I'm going to make it through 16 hours of this.
	I don't know that I can do it.
	I've already started sending smoke signals up to ISIS.
	You have?
	Yeah.
	You want them to find us?
	I want them to find us.
	Well, I don't think people would be very happy.
	They'd be fine for you and I, but what about Hopper?
	I think Hopper could take care of himself.
	I think if we, uh, if we just let them take care of us, Hopper takes care of them, it just kind of breaks even at the end.
	What are you doing?
	On Twitter.
	Oh, you're trying to see, trying to read the tweets?
	Yep.
	Anyway.
	We need car control, everybody.
	Yeah, number eight.
	Number eight, Cratter.
	Number eight trending for this crap.
	But listen, if we're trending, join Mug Club.
	lottocratter.com slash mug club.
	It is $69 for students, veterans.
	You know what?
	To me, if you're a student of life, it's Christmas.
	Everyone's a student right now if you join up.
	It's true.
	No, not everyone's a veteran.
	You actually have to earn that one.
	But student doesn't mean anything.
	So if you're a student of life and you really don't want to support us, enter in your student promo code.
	Homeschool, jujitsu, karate, I don't care.
	Just for right now because it's Christmas.
	Every other day of the year we're going to verify and make sure that you're actually a student because that ended up costing us some money.
	A lot of money.
	This mug is like, it's like $25 to get to you.
	I don't know the actual price.
	Is that much?
	It's expensive.
	It's hand etched and hand painted.
	But we're able to do this.
	And by the way, we know for a fact that CNN knows that we're doing this right now.
	I can't tell you how, but they're not happy about it.
	So if we shut down, it's okay.
	You know why.
	It makes it that much funnier because they're just going to archive it and blur it and speed it up.
	You ever watch those movies?
	We watched, uh, I watched pretty much the entirety of Muppets Christmas Carol on YouTube.
	Twice the speed.
	It's just faster.
	Faster with, like, barry lines on it.
	And they cheat the system.
	Yeah, but it's not, it's not really fun to watch.
	It's not enjoyable at all.
	It's not enjoyable at all.
	No.
	Why didn't Australia have car control?
	Car control?
	Well, they could have stopped the attack.
	Universal background checks before you buy a Kia.
	It's actually, you know, here's funny.
	That's a horrible joke.
	You know why it's a horrible joke?
	Because there is more gun control than there is on cars.
	Wait, hold on a second.
	Was that a double reversal?
	No, that makes sense.
	Yeah, people don't realize it is harder to get a gun than a car, significantly, and you can do, anyone can do much more damage with a car accidentally.
	An accidental misfire with a gun, you kill one person, usually yourself.
	At best.
	That's a very small target.
	An accident with a car?
	Let's assume CNN has their way.
	Let's assume this guy is named Todd and he's a part of the local Presbyterian chapter.
	Okay, let's assume he's the head of the local Rotary Club and this was an accident.
	That it wasn't an Afghani named Saeed Noori committing an act of terror against Christmas shoppers.
	So let's assume it's an accident.
	It still would kill way more people than any kind of firearm accident.
	Oh, yeah.
	I mean, think about, like... It's not even close.
	You just, you fall asleep and you kill more people than if you're fooling around like a moron, putting a gun up, going, it's not loaded, boom, boom, boom.
	Like, picture the worst case scenario of someone messing up with a firearm.
	Which is kind of natural selection at that point.
	It's not anywhere close to the damage that can be done with a car.
	Makes you think you should have to lock your keys up in a safe, within a safe.
	Safe within a safe.
	And then unplug your ignition switch at night.
	With a separate key ring.
	With a separate key ring.
	What if it's just a F.O.B.?
	F.O.B.
	for, it's a push button thing.
	Are those called F.O.B.s?
	It's a key fob.
	What is a fob?
	What does that stand for something?
	It's FOB or FAB?
	Is it FOB or FAB?
	This is one of those things I don't know and I feel it's FOB.
	What is it?
	What does that stand for?
	Sven can look it up.
	Sven computer can look it up.
	I have no idea what a key fob means.
	I say it all the time though.
	Do you say it?
	I say it all the time because we use key fobs all the time.
	We use them in our offices for certain areas and we use... What is a fob?
	You can bring up Google Images if you want.
	Learn your role, computer.
	That's not it.
	Send me a tweet at KeyFob.
	Thank you.
	What does that mean?
	We use it all the time.
	I don't really know what it means.
	KeyFob is also a word used to describe a keychain and several other similar items and devices.
	The word fob is believed to have originated from watch fobs, which existed as early as 1888.
	He plays 1888.
	That's a lot of eights.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	What else do you want to know?
	Brittany Millsap says she's impressed by the production value of the YouTube Carol.
	Well, yeah, we put a lot into it.
	Someone is asking if he gets a discount because he's a Brazilian jiu-jitsu student.
	Today, yes.
	Today, yes.
	If you're a student of life... I think you have to manufacture an EDU address, though, for it to work, right?
	We do every other day, but today we'll go with yes.
	Today we'll just say we'll be very lenient on the student today if you join Mug Club, because if you don't, it just means you want more CNN.
	Here's the truth.
	I'm not going to press you, but if you don't join Mug Club, there is no one else.
	There's no one else coming down the pike.
	If you're hoping for someone to fight back on Colbert, there's no one else.
	There's no one else trying.
	People enjoy doing their vlogs on YouTube, but we've talked to them.
	We've tried to hire people.
	They're not going to try and do this.
	I want to crucify CNN.
	I want to make love to Wolf Blitzer in a way that he's not sure how he feels about.
	Like, afterwards he's gonna pull Elena Dunham.
	Was that consensual?
	Was it non-consensual?
	I'm going to let you in on a secret.
	It was not consensual.
	That's how brutal this is going to be.
	You thought the election night was bad?
	Wait till we get to primetime.
	Wait till we get to Don Lemon, Anderson Cooper, Wolf Blitzer.
	We're going to carve them up like a Christmas turkey.
	This is CNN Newsroom.
	I might even spank my Christmas ham for you.
	There's no host really attached to this.
	Is there a host?
	There's no host, it just says CNN Newsroom.
	We have a schedule here at CNN.
	None of us knew.
	It's fluid.
	Okay, what do we have?
	Newsroom at this hour with Kate Boulon.
	Boulon.
	Oh, John King, he got bumped down to 11.
	Oh god, a wolf at noon.
	Jake Tapper.
	Remember when Jake Tapper was respected?
	Everyone thought Jake Tapper.
	They were like, oh no, Jake Tapper's really balanced.
	He got really pissed at you, like on Twitter.
	He got pissed at me at one point for something, I think Courtney wrote something on ladderwithcrowder.com.
	On the website, and we were absolutely correct.
	Yeah.
	But he didn't like it.
	He said, like, well, you presented me, I went back, and then afterwards, because I was like, no, we presented you entirely accurately.
	It's a loaded reaction to facts.
	Yeah.
	He was upset.
	I also ate Apple.
	Apparently, it's turning now that they admit they deliberately slow down old phones.
	That doesn't surprise me.
	By the way, that has nothing to do with net neutrality.
	No, not at all.
	That's the thing, people don't realize.
	Apple supported net neutrality.
	So I just find this so funny.
	Let's bring that up.
	Can someone research?
	Research Team Assemble.
	I'm pretty sure Apple or Tim Cook supported net neutrality, if I'm not mistaken.
	Someone bring it up, please.
	Let me know.
	Let me check here and bring it up.
	I'm pretty sure, I know Facebook and Google and YouTube did, and of course, that's the big lie, right?
	People talk about net neutrality, and they're like, why don't you support it?
	Well, these big companies support it because they don't need ISPs.
	They use different data entry points.
	They're not reliant on ISPs the way that the small guys are.
	Of course they support it.
	You do have to ask yourself, if Facebook, YouTube, and Twitter, and Google all support net neutrality, why?
	Right?
	Do we have it, Sven Computer?
	Tim Cook, net neutrality?
	Not quite.
	Not yet.
	Okay, I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure they were one of the big companies that were very actively supporting net neutrality.
	The point is, net neutrality hasn't stopped Apple.
	They still suck.
	You have it?
	Do we have it, Sven Computer?
	Yeah, we have... Alright, let's see.
	Let's see what we have.
	Apple is telling the FCC to protect net neutrality and don't let us down.
	There you go!
	This is what's funny to me!
	Philip DeFranco and all these people out there.
	I like Philip DeFranco saying, H3, H3, we need this, it's big greedy Republicans and they want in.
	Tim Cook, Apple, can you think of anyone bigger than Apple?
	They wanted the FCC to protect net neutrality.
	And they are now throttling your phones!
	Your old phones.
	Not throttling, let's say, okay, you know what, you need to pay a little bit more because you're using 4K.
	Like right now, if they were to say, you know what, you need to pay a little more because A, you're screwing CNN, they're another partner of ours with YouTube.
	Understandable.
	And if they said, B, you're streaming HD, this takes up more... We're not even talking about that.
	Apple is just slowing down your old phones because they want you to buy new phones.
	These people supported net neutrality.
	So let me ask you, do you think Apple supported net neutrality because they were altruistic?
	For the same reasons you think Google and Facebook and Twitter support net neutrality because they're altruistic?
	No!
	FCC to FTC.
	FCC to FTC.
	We can actually have transparency laws.
	We can actually enforce antitrust laws if net neutrality, you know, the net neutrality which I believe is repealed.
	I'm not entirely sure the regulations that were pulled back yet.
	By the way, net neutrality, as you know, it only came in in 2015.
	This idea that it's always been net neutrality, it just started in 2015.
	It's a new thing.
	People are idiots.
	There have always been anti-trust laws.
	Obama was one.
	And 2015 wanted to recognize them as telecommunications companies.
	Essentially is net neutrality as we understand it.
	Essentially is that.
	It was a change in 2015.
	I'm just asking, Apple supported net neutrality.
	Why?
	Well, they're throttling your phones.
	Yeah, 32,000 Tiny Tims died.
	Facebook supports net neutrality.
	We know they censor conservative content.
	YouTube supports net neutrality.
	We know they throttle content.
	So they don't have a problem with an unfair playing field.
	They have a problem with a fair playing field that allows a small guy to compete with them.
	Apple.
	Oh my, I just, I don't know how anyone else is not more, do you not see this?
	Does anyone else not see the irony in Tim Cook and Apple supporting net neutrality and slowing down old phones?
	Is it just me?
	Am I the only one?
	That's like some Christmas gift-level irony.
	This is basically a prop at this point, by the way.
	I should get a beverage in my vessel.
	You need some beverage?
	Go get a beverage.
	No, there are no drugs here.
	Their drugs are in the pantry.
	There are drugs!
	There are drugs.
	Cassie!
	What are you looking for?
	No, run the coffee maker.
	Nobody cares.
	No, run the coffee maker.
	Nobody cares.
	All right.
	Is she talking about sexual abuse?
	There's been an ongoing saga over what happened, the abuse, the horror that happened to so many of these girls on this team.
	Actually, you know, we've had on the show one of the best female athletes out there, Kayla Harrison.
	She's two-time Olympic gold medalist judo.
	This belt on here is like the least flattering thing.
	I don't know how much... Can I... Can I... You know what?
	Can I just do... Can I do appendix?
	Carry?
	Oh, sure.
	There you go.
	Look at that.
	It's actually preferable for probably our audience watching.
	These onesies are not flattering for the crotchal region.
	That's true.
	All right, there we go.
	Look.
	Look at this.
	It's not a chastity belt.
	It's our sponsor, Walther.
	Look at that.
	Pow, pow.
	Pow, pow, pow, pow, pow, pow, pow, pow.
	Hope you're getting your money's worth, Walther.
	That's about as effective as paraplegic Terminator.
	Actually, you know what?
	I've never appendix carried.
	It's actually pretty comfortable.
	Actually, it's not bad.
	You think it just digs into your crotch all day?
	No, it's really not that bad.
	Surprises me.
	Also not that bad.
	New shirts, loudofthecrowdershop.com.
	So, okay, we're talking about sexual harassment.
	Kayla Harrison we had on, actually before you were on, before you worked at the show.
	I remember listening to that one when I was driving a salt truck at like 2 a.m.
	She's a judo gold medalist.
	Last time at the Olympics, was it Rio?
	Yeah, she submitted every single opponent.
	Like you want to talk about super athlete, this woman is as good as it gets.
	And she was sexually abused by her coach.
	She came on, she had a testimony about it when she was very young.
	Like actually sexually abused by her coach repeatedly.
	Came forward I think she was 14 at the time came forward and they moved to Boston to work with Jimmy Pedro And she went on to win two gold medals So she has an unbelievable story and when you would talk with her you wouldn't you wouldn't know it.
	She's unbelievably positive This kind of stuff really, really bothers me.
	The sexual abuse of people below you.
	That's why it always bothered me with Roger Ailes.
	Look at Nikki Haley.
	She's fine!
	Nikki Haley is fine, fine, fine.
	Nikki Haley is fine, fine, fine.
	Well, listen, I'm not saying she's going to be walking the runway.
	What I'm saying is, compared to the gaggle of Pelosi's and Elizabeth Warren's and Hillary Clinton's and Debbie Wasserman Schultz's, Nikki Haley is a refreshing change of face.
	And have you ever seen her at the UN tear them a new one?
	It's like when you see the Cleveland Browns are on your schedule.
	It's like, ah, that's a week off.
	That's a bye week.
	The competition isn't great.
	Yeah.
	I still think she's a pretty lady.
	And she dresses well.
	She presents herself well.
	I'll give her that.
	Tweet me at S. Crowder.
	Hashtag CrowderCNNLivestream.
	We've got to use a hashtag.
	Keep it going.
	We want to be in their craw all day.
	We want to be the thorn.
	We're dipping the nine.
	We want to be a thorn in CNN's side all freaking day.
	Right now, Jeff Zucker over there is going, this asshole on YouTube, is he allowed to do this?
	Yes, we are.
	This is fair use because it's transformative enough.
	Just like, you know what?
	CNN, come at us, bro, because Shia LaBeouf tried to sue us over the years.
	Shut them down!
	Have you heard of Bill Richmond?
	Have you heard of half-Asian lawyer Bill Richmond?
	You don't want that.
	You don't want that kind of heat.
	Shia LaBeouf.
	Shia LaBeouf, Ronco, Turner.
	They're firm.
	I guess they made up a firm with their three names and they didn't have a lawyer.
	Threatened to sue us over hijacking.
	He will not divide us.
	Guess what?
	We're still here.
	So CNN, please come at us.
	Please do.
	Just use the hashtag.
	Hashtag CrowderCNNLivestream when you sue us.
	We're grateful.
	What are you looking at?
	You pointing at the schedule?
	Yes.
	Beep beep.
	Beep beep.
	Boop.
	We have a guest coming up soon.
	That's true.
	Who do we have next?
	That's on 945.
	We have Gavin McInnes at 945.
	No, no, no.
	We have James O'Keefe.
	He was actually scratched there.
	He's been moved to later on.
	Oh, OK, OK, good, good, good.
	So we don't have a guest until 945.
	All right, good.
	So hold on a second.
	This doctor thing.
	Oh lord, another hour of seeing a news report.
	Ugh.
	The doctor was named Nassar, who was doing all these adjustments on these little girls.
	And he was, you know, using his fingers and stuff.
	Nassar.
	Doesn't sound like a Presbyterian.
	Do we know anything about Nassar?
	Nassar?
	I hate to say it.
	Hey, by the way, sound guy Edward, did we empty the grounds in that coffee machine and everything?
	This morning?
	Cause it was filled, it won't work if that's the case.
	Just toss them in the trash if you can, Jared.
	We got them?
	Yeah, the ground, we have a coffee machine where if it fills up with grounds, it just goes haywire and it lets you know that it cannot, cannot make any more coffee.
	Um, all right.
	Hold on a second.
	All right, we're at a commercial break here.
	So I don't know what these commercials are.
	Oh, Anthony Bourdain.
	That guy's a dick.
	That guy, you know, there's a good example of a guy who I really liked until he came out as so far left, which is why I was so happy when it turned out to be Mario Batali, who I wasn't happy that he sexually harassed anybody.
	I was happy that there was no rape involved.
	But I was sitting there, I was like, please don't be Gordon Ramsay.
	Just be someone like Mario Batali.
	And then that's what it was.
	It was Mario Batali.
	So let's, let's, let's reek.
	It's a Christmas miracle, especially with 9 million tiny Tims dying because of Trump, not funding ship.
	We have Hodge twins coming in very soon.
	Oh, okay.
	That's, that's cool.
	We have Hodge twins coming in very soon.
	Um, why is no one talking about Uranium One on CNN?
	Have you noticed that?
	We are two hours in.
	Nothing.
	Nothing on Uranium One.
	I haven't seen it.
	Has anyone seen it?
	No.
	You can tweet me.
	I'm checking every now and then for tweets.
	I don't think he even made it to the lower tier.
	I don't even think they've mentioned the reference.
	Ooh, Robin Mead.
	No.
	No, no.
	Too much work.
	She's starting to look like the drummer muppet.
	Ooh.
	Janet.
	Janice.
	You guys, I totally host a new show.
	Okay.
	I don't understand why there's nothing with Uranium One yet.
	Wait, is that Andy?
	Is that Andy Levy on CNN?
	Well, it makes sense, they shut down Red Eye.
	Can someone let me know, it has craters, Andy Levy appearing on CNN now?
	He used to be the ombudsman for Red Eye, and then when they unceremoniously fired Bill Schultz, he became like the co-host, and then he was the co-host for, after Greg Gutfeld left, and then, oh, hey, Hopper!
	Look!
	Hopper, come here!
	Bring your carrot!
	Ugh.
	Alright, hold on a second.
	Let's just do this for a while.
	Hey Hopper, one second.
	Let's do this for a little bit.
	Hopper just came in, but this is true.
	For people who don't know this, Hopper is so, oh, sorry, I just hit the microphone.
	Hopper is so gentle-mouthed that he actually brought in this carrot and he won't eat it because he won't break the skin.
	Same thing if it's a full pickle.
	Look, he loves, look, he's looking at me.
	He's waiting for me to break it.
	Watch.
	He carried this in.
	He wouldn't eat it.
	But if I do this, want the carrot piece?
	Well, he just dropped it.
	He just dropped it, Hopper.
	There you go.
	Okay.
	Look at this dog.
	He's so gentle now.
	Now look, if I get, so look, I'll give him, I'll show you exactly the kind of problems you run into with Hopper.
	Here's a piece, right?
	Oh, slippery.
	Hopper's gonna eat that carrot.
	Okay?
	Now watch, if I give him the full carrot... Look!
	Won't eat it!
	It's a full carrot!
	He won't take the full carrot!
	I have to break it into pieces, because then he gets the aroma and he can taste that it's food.
	He actually won't... He won't crack it with his teeth.
	Same thing, if I put my fingers around it, he has to eat around this.
	You're a great dog, but I really do hope you'd maul the hell out of a Muslim terrorist.
	Please tell me you would.
	You're a white dog, you have to live up to your name.
	Is there a little white supremacy in you?
	Is there a little bit of, uh... Is there a little bit of, uh, anti-Rottweiler in you?
	I don't know, but I saw him driving around in Jod's Charger the other day.
	Remember that Rottweiler he hated when we were in Michigan?
	Oh, I hated that dog.
	Hopper, there you go.
	Carrot piece.
	See, now you're getting to the big part of the carrot.
	So it was like spy versus spy.
	It was like a bridging of the racial divide.
	He hated this Rottweiler.
	He's all white.
	So we joked about him being a white supremacist dog.
	And then eventually he ended up liking this Rottweiler over a carrot.
	Hopper, I can't keep breaking the carrot for you.
	Look, it's too big.
	I can't break it in half anymore.
	You can eat this carrot.
	I've seen you eat... Okay, let's see.
	What are they talking about?
	Current stopgap spending.
	Hopper, I gotta let you go, buddy.
	...eventually, at some point today, they will be able to get there.
	Here's the chair of the House Freedom Caucus, Mark Meadows, with some... Hopper, I'm gonna put this in your bed.
	We're hopeful that we vote later today.
	That has not been scheduled.
	Honestly, there's a little bit more work to do, but I believe at the latest tomorrow morning.
	And so hopefully we're breaking news right here with you, Allison, but that's a decision that we'll get through by our leadership.
	She's cute.
	I don't know who she is.
	She's cute.
	I don't know who she is.
	CNN's taking some cues from Fox News.
	They privately admit that they simply do not have an appetite to force a government shutdown by midnight tomorrow night.
	They don't want this to end, this stalemate to end that way, particularly because it's a big week for them on tax reform.
	So certainly a desire to avoid that confrontation, although there is, at this hour, no clear path forward yet.
	By the way, for the record, Hopper is not a white supremacist.
	He'll bite dogs of all races and colors.
	That's true.
	I've seen it happen.
	Actually, I don't know if he can bite.
	I've never seen him bite.
	That's why I'm worried with a terrorist.
	He doesn't care for my dog, and she's kind of biracial.
	It's true.
	Got the black and white going on.
	So, equal opportunity.
	That's right.
	Australian Shepherd.
	Your dog's a Border Collie.
	Just think Australian Shepherd.
	It's black and white.
	It's a Border Collie.
	People usually think she's a Border.
	She's a Border.
	She's not a Border.
	She's a mix of a Border.
	That is not an Aussie.
	She's way too small for an Aussie.
	She's a Mini.
	There's no such thing as an Aussie Mini.
	I don't think that's an AKC.
	Let's fact-check this.
	I'm 99% sure that Australian Shepard Minnie is not an AKC-recognized breed.
	You're probably wrong.
	Spanky Peter, are you on that?
	No, it's okay, don't worry about it.
	Thank you, Peter.
	You're on that from the Security Council vote on this.
	No, it's OK.
	Don't worry about it.
	Yeah, because you're wrong.
	All right.
	You looked it up.
	You went on.
	You went on Trump's Jerusalem decision.
	At what point do we say that we don't care what the U.N.
	has to say?
	Not soon enough.
	At what point do we just say, like, ah... Like, well, we're not going to recognize it as a capital.
	Yeah, but we are.
	We're not happy about this.
	Okay.
	What is there to vote on, though?
	I don't understand what there is to vote on.
	Is it for it to be... I think the vote is for it to be internationally recognized as the...
	The capital of Israel.
	It's the capital of Israel.
	We're not talking about... It is the capital of Israel.
	We're not talking about, you know, agreeing that... No, it is the capital... Well, because obviously, obviously, Palestinians, Hamas, who have the destruction of Jews in their charter, they claim Jerusalem.
	As a matter of fact, Reg, put the Jerusalem stuff in the current document, if you're watching, so that we can... Because there have been so many empires...
	So many rulers in that area who never recognized Jerusalem as their capital.
	Not the Ottomans.
	Gosh, I'd have to bring this in here.
	I think I have it in the research document here.
	I remember we did this not that long ago.
	Alright, here, one second.
	Alright, is that you?
	What are you talking about?
	Yes, all the caliphates.
	How many were there?
	I'm trying to remember here.
	And they never had Jerusalem as their capital.
	Alright, hold on a second.
	What do we have?
	I got it here.
	Okay.
	Alright.
	The Umayyad Caliphate.
	Capital was Damascus.
	The Abbasid Caliphate.
	Capital was Baghdad.
	The Fatimid Caliphate.
	Capital was Cairo.
	Ottoman Empire.
	Capital was Constantinople.
	This idea that Jerusalem has ever been the capital of any Muslim empire is so totally, verifiably false.
	It's never been the case.
	They're only doing it now because they hate the Jews.
	Okay?
	When they had it, they didn't care.
	Why?
	Because Jerusalem is mentioned over 600 times by name in the Old Testament.
	I think it's maybe 400 times by name, 600 times through the term Zion.
	And it's never mentioned in the Quran, only in Hadith, and it's when Muhammad had his LSD trip that they refer to as a dream where he ascended to heaven.
	And here's the thing, I know people are saying, well, how do you know that he didn't ascend to heaven?
	And that's that, you know, because he's in hell.
	Muhammad's in hell.
	He's looking on up on us with pride this morning.
	Yeah.
	People say, well, how do you know Muhammad's in hell?
	Okay.
	Let me ask you this.
	You don't believe in Jesus.
	Okay.
	Let's start with this.
	Yeah.
	I'm a Christian.
	You don't believe in the Christian.
	Look, I've got nothing but carrots by my feet, Hopper.
	Look at this.
	I got carrot all over my feet because of my dog.
	Let's assume you don't believe in Jesus.
	Let's assume you don't believe in the biblical version.
	Let's assume you're not Jewish.
	Okay, fine.
	Let's assume that you're not a complete atheist, okay?
	So you're not a complete atheist, but you don't believe in the Judeo-Christian God, but you think, okay, afterlife, good things for good people, bad things for bad people.
	All right, let's get rid of the Christian component.
	A mass murdering, raping, beating his six-year-old wife, calling for the deaths of all Christians and Jews is his last words, warlord.
	You think that's heaven or hell?
	If we're just going based on actions, remove the salvation component, just good angel, bad angel, you really don't think that Muhammad is burning in hell right now?
	Just from a purely secular standpoint.
	To you I say nay.
	He's definitely at the gates of Hades.
	Well, not the gates, he's long since entered.
	He's in the gated community in hell with a padlock.
	And the only reason there's a padlock is so that someone can enter in a new code for when they go in to service him.
	But they're not, they're not servicing, really he's servicing them.
	Yeah.
	That's what I think is happening to Muhammad.
	For a guy who, who killed and beat his wife and had sex with her when she, well, perhaps when she was nine, likely when she was six.
	Muhammad, right?
	He only had sex with Aisha's thighs until she was nine.
	Yeah, I think that's a guy who's kind of hellbound.
	Take paterno and add murder.
	Take the Olympic coach and add murder and anti-semitism.
	That's Mohammed.
	Pretty sure hell.
	What?
	Top three trends now on Twitter.
	Still no word.
	Uranium one, top three trends, but no one is talking about it.
	You think this would be the most flexible of all the programs as well?
	What do you think?
	You would think so.
	But they can switch gears the fastest?
	They just bring in random nobodies and talk about uranium 1?
	No.
	Right now they're talking about... Yeah, hold on.
	Sven Computer has something to bring up.
	Well, apparently even NBC is reporting on it on their website, so... What was that?
	Even NBC is reporting on it on that side.
	It's just CNN apparently that doesn't care about it.
	I can't hear you.
	Beep beep.
	Beep beep.
	The next time you forget it, you're getting tased.
	Good lord.
	Become a character actor.
	Commit.
	What's the German equivalent to Daniel Day-Lewis?
	Exactly.
	All right.
	Did I say we have the Hodge twins coming up?
	We're trying to get them.
	Okay, soon.
	How we feel about this issue or that issue.
	Do you promise to do it?
	I take it.
	So we also, so right now they're talking about Dems want to shut down for the hotline.
	They're blaming it on Trump.
	I love how it's Dems want to shut down for the holidays.
	It's Trump colon Dems want to shut down for the holidays.
	It can't just be Democrats want to shut down.
	Remember when Republicans were shutting down over a bill from Obama?
	It's Republicans going to shut down.
	This is, again, that liberalism by omission.
	Trump colon Dems want to shut down for the holidays.
	Well, yeah, Trump said that, but he's basically saying that because the Democrats are huffing and puffing and they're angry over this bill, that there's going to be a shutdown for the holidays.
	He's placing the blame on Democrats, just as CNN and everyone placed the blame on the Republicans for the shutdown for a long time.
	But here, they say, Trump, how do we spin this as anti-Trump?
	Well, the Democrats might cause a shutdown.
	Trump said the Democrats might cause a shutdown.
	So let's put Trump colon shutdown.
	Hopefully people will just Oh, we're back to chip!
	We're back to chip!
	child health insurance program at risks.
	Oh, we're back to Chip.
	We're back to Chip.
	How are we back to Chip and we're only two hours in? - Ah. - I feel like Tom Hanks, I feel like Tom Hanks in Punchline, when his dad and his son, His dad and his brother show up to his stand-up, and he's this brilliant stand-up comedian.
	And then he can't, and he starts crying, and he's talking about how my dad used to hunt, and I was just, and I couldn't, because I didn't want to, I was too scared to, can somebody help me?
	Somebody help me!
	He's on stage.
	That's Tom, I feel like that right now.
	Can someone please help me?
	I can't do this for 16 hours.
	We're back to saying Trump wants to kill kids.
	Earlier, for those who missed it, go back, look through the hashtag, crowd our CNN livestream.
	They said 9 million Tiny Tims dead.
	And that's, we're back to it.
	No mention of Uranium One.
	Yeah.
	Is there a certain amount of irony that today is the winter solstice and it's going to be the longest day of our lives?
	Yes.
	If we make it through.
	Look at her attitude!
	What do you mean by 1.5 trillion dollar tax bill?
	I think what they mean is they've been saying 1.5 trillion added to the debt over 10 years.
	They added 10 and 8!
	The wealthiest corporate.
	Okay, we've already debunked this idea of the tax bill.
	By the way, we have some amazing things coming up later.
	Not only guests, not only more YouTube carol.
	It's five segment, but we have games.
	We have surprise guests.
	I don't even know who's going to be on.
	And I think Nakia Jared has some games set up that I don't want to play, but I'll be forced to play.
	I don't know.
	I don't know what's coming for the 16 hours.
	But right now I'm all, I was expecting Jared to be here and I'm flying solo all day.
	So this is much more difficult, precarious than I had anticipated.
	And she doesn't seem... She's wearing... She's like trying to fake us out like she's wearing a gold medal, that one in the top right quadrant.
	Look at her.
	Like we're gonna think she wins the conversation!
	With a gold medal.
	Alright.
	Let's go back to CHIP.
	The House passed legislation that would fund CHIP for five more years, but the Democrats opposed it because they didn't like the way it was going to be funded.
	Paul Ryan said, we need to get this before we break on holiday.
	We need to get this before.
	We need to make sure that this is not defunded.
	By the way, I'm less compassionate.
	I think you should pay for your own kids.
	Call me crazy.
	Republicans don't even want to do that.
	They just want there to be some limitation of spending.
	CHIP is not one of them.
	The Child Health Care Initiative is not one of them.
	They're not defunding it.
	They haven't tried to.
	It's Democrats holding a gun to their head.
	had no uranium one we'd like the government we pay for to stay up and running gosh i'm gonna need some coffee soon when we go to the next break Do you think those are all green screens?
	Huh?
	Do you think those are all green screens?
	Uh, I don't know if it's all green screens.
	It's a good question.
	Fox didn't use a lot of green screens when I was there.
	HLN did, though.
	CNN and HLN used more.
	Okay, YouTube Carol, so we have Gavin McInnes.
	We're waiting on the Hodge twins and then Gavin McInnes.
	We're waiting on the Hodge twins.
	Okay.
	Affirm.
	Yeah.
	to her fiancé at the U.S.-Mexico border, and she speaks with CNN.
	All right.
	Hold on a second.
	I'm trying to look at this.
	Anyway, we're talking about the tax bill again.
	You know, they say 1.5 trillion in cuts.
	What they really mean is people won't have to, you're already paying 39% in corporate tax rates, and that'll be cut.
	So what are the results?
	AT&T gave hundreds of thousands of dollars in bonuses.
	So did Boeing.
	They're going to be investing and hiring more people.
	I don't, do you know, to me, even as a kid, right, when you were selfish, for example, let's say you wanted Did you ever have anything when you were a kid that you wanted?
	And you know what?
	Give me your story.
	Maybe a gift that you wanted that you never got or something you really wanted to get as a kid.
	Hopefully Christmas themed.
	So, hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.
	Tweet me or NotGayJared.
	Something you really wanted and you didn't get.
	Did you ever have something that you really wanted as a kid and you didn't get because it was too expensive?
	Yeah, the newer Power Rangers Megatron Zord.
	You wanted it?
	Yeah, I did.
	And you couldn't get it?
	No.
	Because it's too expensive?
	It's too expensive.
	Then I got it the next year.
	I think this might be better for you.
	I got it the next year.
	But my little brother opened all of it, Aaron the intern, before Christmas.
	Really?
	Broke it in the closet.
	He opened it?
	Yeah, it was like three.
	He ruined all my Christmas presents.
	He broke it?
	He broke one of them, and then he opened up all of them.
	My parents had to re-wrap it, and then he opened it again.
	Okay, but you eventually got it.
	Eventually got it.
	Think of something you got, but that was because it was too expensive.
	Oh, Razor scooters.
	Oh yeah, those were expensive.
	We were late to arrive to the Razor scooter thing.
	All my friends had them and they were like, it's a little bit much right now.
	Razor scooters.
	Okay, so use this as an example.
	For me, I remember it was the N64.
	I got it later.
	I didn't get it early on because it was a little too expensive at the time.
	And in Canada, everything was really expensive.
	So take a video game here that might have been $49.
	It was like $69 or $79 in Canada at that point with the exchange rate, right?
	So really expensive for a kid.
	That's expensive.
	Yeah, it was $60, $70 bucks.
	I remember spending like $70 to get Goldeneye for the N64.
	$70 Canadian dollars?
	Yeah, $79 Canadian.
	$79.99 Canadian.
	Gosh.
	So, think of this... Oh, the Hodge twins are frozen.
	Think of this for a second.
	If you were a kid, just a selfish little bastard, would it have been that much of a leap, if you said, like, you can't get the Megazord because it's too expensive, for someone to say, hey, I'm going to give your dad twice the money that he's making now for this job, would you have been able to make the connection that, oh, I'm more likely to get a Megazord?
	Yeah, I'd certainly want to think if he didn't have that, I could petition the government to give me the money.
	But, like, you understood there was a finite supply of funds, right?
	And so let's say if someone said, hey, your parents are going to be twice as wealthy.
	Would you understand that that would directly benefit you?
	Yes.
	Yeah, that's what just, I don't understand people, they're corporations, businesses.
	This is a business.
	Do you understand that if this business were to make millions of dollars that it would benefit you?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, exactly.
	I don't know why that's a leap.
	They don't want you to know they're screwing the middle class.
	Unless you believe that the government should be the sole employer of the American populace, I don't know how people think it's a logical leap to just understand that if you allow businesses, not even give them, just allow them to keep more of their money, that they'll pay people more.
	I just don't, I never understand the connection people, liberals, make between, uh, you know, the police state, for instance.
	That, you know, police brutality is a systemic problem, and the police force can't be trusted.
	By the way, hold on one second, and hold that thought.
	Breaking, the man at the border was killed by two illegal immigrants.
	So that was a mystery from CNN.
	Sven, we can bring that up.
	Sven, computer.
	So we go from Trump-Russia to man with no name kills holiday shoppers.
	It was a Muslim Afghani who killed Christmas shoppers to mysterious cause of death of man at the border.
	No, he was killed by two illegal aliens.
	If you watched CNN today, you would have known none of this.
	No.
	No.
	None of it.
	None of it.
	Their online stuff is not any better.
	No, it's not.
	If you think it's better online, the articles, it's potentially worse.
	Hashtag CrowderCNNLivestream.
	Tweet us the worst offenses you see today from CNN.
	There might be some that we miss as far as biases.
	There are so many.
	TrumpRussia is no mention.
	OK, so what do we have?
	Let's, you know what, Sven Computer, keep a document here of their most egregious.
	OK, can you start a separate document, Sven Computer, just so you have it?
	Okay, hold on one second.
	Trump-Russia, okay?
	They had Schiff on, who's been saying he has evidence for nine months.
	No mention of Uranium One, two and a half hours in, right?
	No mention of the Afghani, who killed him, just a random person, and they don't use the word Christmas.
	They've said that there will be nine million tiny Tims dead.
	So let's keep this as a hit list.
	Everyone watching, keep a hit list right now.
	Keep your own list so we can cross-reference.
	And then they said, mysterious case of death for man at the border.
	No mention that two illegal immigrants killed him.
	Two, okay.
	Two weeks ago, a search warrant that was filed unsealed in New Mexico showed the agents were chasing a tip that two undocumented brothers, suspected drug smugglers, had attacked the agents.
	Don't know if he was killed by them, but it's silly to say, like, no answers.
	Mysterious cause of death.
	We were watching that, we didn't even know.
	Yeah.
	Okay, sorry, go back to what you were saying and then we'll... The fundamental, like, for a leftist is to want to put so much power in the monopoly of the government to control things, yet You know, the police state and other things they throw out there as government can't be trusted, but they will solely trust the government when it comes to providing people for people.
	Yeah.
	Or the internet.
	Internet.
	So the government man, they just want their wars.
	I want to give them full control over the internet.
	Yeah.
	Oh, okay.
	Trump can't be trusted.
	You see his Twitter?
	I think he should have charge of all the Twitters.
	It's amazing to me where they're mad at Trump for saying, I don't want control of the internet.
	Just because he wants corporations to.
	Okay.
	All right.
	Do we have that?
	We have the Hodge twins sound guy, Edward.
	Is that what I'm hearing?
	Yeah.
	You can already hear I'm losing my voice.
	All right.
	We have the beggars from, as you saw on YouTube, Carol.
	Hodge twins, Kevin and Keith Hodge.
	Are you there, gentlemen?
	Yeah, we're here.
	Sound.
	Oh, geez.
	You guys were really loud there for a second.
	Did you just get up or are you early risers?
	Are you supposed to be disciplined gym goers?
	Maybe a meth addict.
	Yeah, I can see himself on that book.
	I'm sleeping by about 2.30.
	Well, the thing is, we're suffering, but we don't have to be bosses.
	So, you know, we... I ain't got no boss.
	I ain't got nothing to call it.
	- The thing is we're seven, but we don't have any bosses.
	So we process them seven, so if I ain't got no boss, I'm gonna have no boss.
	That kind of feels me.
	I make these small labels.
	I'm just a lazy guy.
	No, I'm just a gym rat, baby.
	- Wow.
	- Well, you were, you were, when you were here taping a YouTube carol, you were going to do cardio like at 11 at night.
	That's why I wondered.
	I was like, oh, it must be a black guy thing to work out at 11 at night.
	- I'm just a lazy guy.
	No, just a gym right time.
	- Well, I- - I tape a rat, I'm going.
	- Well, did you guys see, so you haven't even seen yourselves in a YouTube carol yet?
	- Yeah, I'm afraid to see it.
	You know, I will say this, and by the way, we've been watching CNN.
	Do you want to hear the hit list today so far?
	Yeah, sure.
	Okay, so we started off with Trump-Russia mentioning Mueller.
	They bring on Schiff, who's said he's had evidence against Trump for nine months now.
	Nothing there.
	They've never mentioned Uranium One, the Clinton scandal.
	They said nine million tiny Tims will die because the Republicans want to defund the CHIP program, Child Health Care Initiative, which they don't.
	They said they have no Suspect.
	They have no cause for death for a border patrol agent who was killed.
	And actually, there are two illegal alien drug smugglers who are suspected.
	They mentioned that an unidentified man in Melbourne ran a car into holiday shoppers.
	Turns out it was an Afghani man named Sayo Naori, who was Muslim, into Christmas shoppers.
	What else we got?
	I don't know.
	But that's the hit list just thus far.
	And we're not even two and a half hours in, Keith and Kevin.
	You know, I was looking at CNN last night at Trump.
	But that's Kurtz.
	I have to look at them.
	No.
	Because everything they were saying.
	Totally taking bags.
	Turning everything around.
	Saying things it wasn't.
	I'm getting tax cuts.
	I'm getting tax cuts.
	You're both getting tax cuts.
	Hey, one thing.
	Are people able to hear them better than I am?
	Yeah, yeah.
	Okay, they can hear.
	Okay, sorry.
	Because I'm barely hearing you guys.
	But as long as people watching are... You know, we're trending right now.
	So do you have anything you want to say to the people who are watching as we trend?
	Hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.
	Hashtag fake news.
	Hashtag I'm only 52% but... Oh really?
	I'm on purpose, man.
	Well, you know what?
	You have to tweet this out with the hashtag.
	Keep it going.
	The guests keep it going because CNN is pissed.
	They're pissed that we're doing this.
	Oh, really?
	Yeah, they're not happy about it.
	That's the purpose, man.
	Why, were you planning to be in a CNN commentator in the quadrant view next to the guy who looks like the Burger Meister Burger and S.E. Cup?
	Was that your next career shift?
	Nah, I think I'm passing that.
	Well, I mean, it is, like you said, you guys have never been known for being political.
	I'm not even ascribing anything to you as far as what you believe, but just like you said, you're going to get a tax cut because you're entrepreneurs.
	You run a business.
	What are you laughing at?
	What are you laughing at, Keith?
	Or is it Kevin?
	I'm laughing at Keith.
	Oh.
	He's daydreaming.
	Nice.
	I think he does the job on the left.
	Waterboarded?
	you were laughing at my uh i thought you're laughing at my appendix carry see i got my got my walther here in a pow see that nice pow pow yeah i know we have to do this it's a true i was waterboarded last year hey you guys were in the military were you ever waterboarded what was that i guess not Well, anyway.
	All right.
	Well, you know, it's unpleasant, but I am totally for it with Tara, so I need to button this up, I realize.
	It keeps coming undone because this is worse than being waterboarded for 16 hours.
	This is worse than being waterboarded.
	I will tell you the honest truth.
	I was I was look I was stressing this more than waterboarding.
	Yeah.
	And we're not even a third of the way through.
	Well, you knew you knew you were in good hands, Tim, and you were going to survive the waterboarding here.
	I know I'm in the hands of these people want to cause me harm.
	Yeah, no doubt.
	So you guys woke up too late.
	You missed your first segment, but it'll be on later tonight.
	One thing I will say, a true story.
	So I was like, hey, I'm going to write this for you guys, this script for people watching.
	Hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.
	By the way, join up at Mug Club.
	It's a discount today.
	So you have to get the plugs in.
	I was writing it for you guys.
	And I said, hey, I'm going to write this for your voice, for people who haven't watched the Hodge twins.
	They're hysterical.
	They have multiple YouTube channels.
	So I was writing it for them to be arguing.
	And in there I wrote a few paragraphs, and then, here's no script, they refer to themselves, they use the n-word because they're black, and so I wrote, like, later, in, like, maybe at the very last lines, I'm like, one of you saying, and I wrote n dash dash dash, right?
	And I felt really uncomfortable writing this for you guys, but I was writing it in your voice.
	And I was like, I don't know how offended, I don't know if they're going to be really mad or offended.
	The first line, the first line Kevin comes in, Ebeneezer YouTube, at least that's what you've been telling us, nigga.
	And I'm like, okay, we're fine.
	I don't need to be worried.
	Was that conscious or did it just flow out?
	It really, the way it does it, I know where it's coming from.
	A lot of people might be offended, but I know you as a person, I know what's coming from that place.
	You know, I thought it was fun.
	You put an A on the end of it.
	I wrote it once at the end of the script and you inserted it like four or five more times before then.
	But you have to understand as a white guy, I'm like, okay, what would the Hodge twins say?
	Well, and I literally wrote N star star star A.
	And I was like, and you guys don't have to say anything in here.
	You don't want to.
	I just kind of tried to write it for you.
	And you're like, no, no, no.
	I think I got this.
	I put the A on the end of it.
	Cause I'm like, okay, If I do N star star star A And it all counts It doesn't count Like, I'm okay.
	And he did the ER in some takes.
	I mean, he just... Well, it was great.
	People lost their minds on Twitter.
	I was like, oh, damn, it's like a damn race.
	Well, it was great.
	People lost their minds on Twitter.
	Hey, what is the official Hodge Twins Twitter?
	Just Hodge Twins.
	Just, at Hodge Twins.
	Man, I gotta go to the mall.
	I gotta pick out something for my wife, man.
	I do this every week, very last second.
	We're still sleeping Yeah And it's not like it's that crazy Of an hour Wake up at the crack of nine Do you guys have big plans For Christmas?
	Hodge twins?
	Man I gotta go to the mall I gotta pick out something From my wife I do this every week The very last second You still shop And it's like Nothing today Let's do it today What's that?
	Don't tell me.
	Yeah.
	One day shipping.
	Yeah.
	Well, what price will it be?
	I'm just gonna go to Spencer's.
	off Amazon you type in like hey you know I don't know you type in like anti-aging makeup and then it tells you Jesus was a fictional character you get everything you want add to cart one day shipping one day ship one day shipping hey hey Sven computer what was it that you tried to order on Amazon remember remember Beep beep.
	I don't remember.
	Beep beep boop.
	Yes, you do.
	Sven Computer tried to order something off of Amazon in the Alexa video.
	What was it?
	Beep beep.
	It was the world's heaviest, though, though.
	That's true.
	And here's the thing, HodgeTwins.
	Did you say savviest?
	World's heaviest.
	Heaviest.
	Yeah.
	We were doing the Alexa thing and did this video where Alexa was just clearly liberal biased.
	And then you hear in the background, at that point, the conspiracy was that Sven Computer was my wife.
	Remember that?
	Oh, yeah.
	And all it was was you hear, hey, Alexa, Add the world's biggest, fattest dildo to my Amazon cart.
	Alexa, do next day shipping.
	So, it wasn't even my Alexa, but next day shipping arrived the world's biggest, fattest, sickest dildo.
	I had some explaining to do.
	Very advanced search queues for some of these items.
	Well, you guys are business owners.
	It's not an expensive, it's not a pleasant reimbursement item.
	I don't think not.
	It goes through QuickBooks and an accountant says, I don't know if this is tax deductible.
	I don't know.
	I've had to file some weird things for CRTV.
	Just, oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Just some weird stuff.
	All right.
	Hodge twins, how much would it take for you to watch CNN for 16 hours straight?
	Oh man.
	It wouldn't take much.
	Probably about a couple hundred thousand dollars.
	Oh, right.
	Well, you can buy a Clint Howard snow globe.
	That's right.
	You can buy a Clint Howard snow globe with that kind of money.
	That's right.
	For those people who don't know, this actually happened.
	The Hodge twins were in the same room as Clint Howard.
	And it was just the most bizarre.
	Talk about surreal.
	It was really bizarre.
	If maple syrup were to flow down from Trade Center Tower 7 right now, with elves running, it wouldn't be more surreal.
	And the Hodge twins in a room with Clint Howard in drag.
	I woke up with my head sewn to the carpet.
	But he was a nice guy.
	You guys got along well.
	It was kind of, you know, old generation acting talent and then new generation YouTube stars.
	It was pretty cool.
	Yeah, he was an awesome guy.
	A real nice guy down there.
	Yeah.
	He wasn't some Hollywood asshole.
	No, just a Hollywood psychopath.
	All right, listen, it is at Hodge Twins.
	The Hodge Twins or Hodge Twins?
	Hodge Twins.
	At Hodge Twins.
	Tweet this out.
	Keep the hashtag trending so that, you know, we get sued, hopefully by CNN, like Shia LaBeouf.
	And make sure you watch this.
	You guys did a great job.
	Great job on the YouTube Carol, honestly.
	Oh, hold on.
	You're black.
	He's black.
	You guys ever watch Kamau Bell on CNN?
	United Shades of America with Kamau Bell.
	You know him?
	I came across it, but I was flipping through the channels.
	I didn't catch it.
	I watched it in about 5-10 minutes.
	That's it.
	- I watched it in about five, 10 minutes.
	And I said, "Uh..." - Well, he's a comedian, so I wonder, you guys might see him in the clubs.
	And I bet you he's furious that you guys are bigger draws than him.
	He had a late night show on ABC or CBS, and it was so bad that now he's doing...
	What was that? - Yeah, I know he had a show on FWX.
	I used to watch it.
	I watch a couple episodes, and I know he's got a new show on CNN.
	That probably sucks for him.
	All we need was a video camera, and a living room, and a home, and an internet connection.
	I remember how bad his show was.
	He had, what's his name from Rage Against the Machine?
	The like, half Asian guy?
	Anyway, he's a lead singer and he was Rage Against the Machine.
	He was like, man, we're fighting against the system.
	And so he was actually campaigning for Obama's reelection.
	I'm like, you were raging for the machine.
	How is this?
	How do you not see this?
	And Kamau Bell.
	How do you justify all of your opinions?
	I don't know.
	All right, we have to go.
	It is at Hodge twins.
	You guys did a great job.
	Thanks so much for being the special guys.
	Go either go to the gym or go back to sleep.
	I don't know what you do with your own time, but it was a lot of fun having you out.
	We're really thankful.
	Alright, thank you guys.
	Thanks a lot.
	Bye.
	God bless.
	I'm gonna have to go back to the CNN, which I'm not a fan of.
	What's this guy?
	This guy has such a droo... He looks like that hound dog with the voice who's always upset like this.
	Alright.
	It's a turtle.
	It looks like a sad turtle who has been beached for too long.
	The turtle.
	Well, it looks like a sad turtle who's been beached for too long.
	Like he wasn't able to return to the sea.
	Like when you sentated your scrota for too long?
	Hold on a second.
	Sven Computer, let's bring up the Twitter.
	All right, time to read some best tweets of the day.
	Sponsored by Lotterywithcrowder.com slash Mug Club.
	Jared, hit that overlay.
	Sponsored by Lotterywithcrowder.com slash Mug Club.
	99 annually, 69 for students, veterans, active military.
	That's what allows us to hold CNN's feet to the fire.
	Sven Computer, do you have the Twitter?
	In about one moment.
	He's connecting.
	All right, what do we see?
	We've got this.
	The twins are cutting out a bit.
	Oh, we had some audio problems with the twins.
	So apologies, guys.
	This is live.
	CNN talking about Mueller getting fired.
	Someone was mentioning we missed this for the hit list.
	Awesome interview.
	Do you think CNN has this okay?
	Hold on a second.
	Hodge twins.
	People love the Hodge twins.
	They love them.
	Someone just said sound quality is terrible.
	That's Keith Smith.
	Is that our sound quality or just Skype with the audience?
	I think it's Skype for them.
	Was it because of theirs?
	Is everyone else going to be okay?
	That's because they just wake up and they have no idea what they're doing.
	Oh God, here's... Hey, Sven, do you have the Twitter?
	Yes.
	Bring up the Photoshop right now of me.
	This comes from Nick Adamski.
	Nick R Adamski.
	Let's hit this.
	Hit to Sven's overlay here.
	That's a pretty damn good Photoshop.
	Can you see it?
	He has me duct taped to the chair with my eyes being covered.
	By the way, I don't know what we have.
	We have a ton of guests.
	I don't know all of them.
	And apparently there's some events planned.
	I think like dancers.
	Send Computer blew the lid off of potential midgets, which he wasn't supposed to.
	I've been trying to rent a midget for years.
	Oh no, Flux could kill.
	Flux could kill.
	He's in trouble.
	He wasn't supposed to let me know, but I want to know about midgets.
	What is this guy's Twitter handle?
	The guy is Nick R Adamski.
	Nick R Adamski.
	Are you logging into my Twitter?
	Yes.
	Nick R Adamski, if you scroll down, there's a picture of me and it says the longest day of our lives anyway.
	You've ruined the joke.
	I'm sorry.
	You've ruined the jokes, Ben.
	Are you going through your notifications or through the hashtags?
	I'm just going through the mentions.
	Someone just said they already got an 8% raise from the tax bill.
	You must be a corporation.
	Just joined Mug Club.
	Mickey J. Barr.
	Hey, every time.
	Do we have a bell?
	Can someone bring me a bell?
	Bell?
	Yeah.
	Do we have a bell somewhere?
	We'll get a bell.
	Someone get me a bell.
	And what we'll do is every time someone joins Mug Club and tweets us with the hashtag, we will ring the bell.
	We will have a bell to ring, because every time someone joins Mug Club, Muhammad gets accosted in hell.
	As an angel gets its wings.
	But really, you only care about the first part.
	Thank you so much, Mickey Barr, for joining Mug Club.
	This is a commercial right now, commercial break.
	And then we have Gavin, and then we have YouTube Carol Segment 2, I believe, right?
	I think so.
	deaths during Kate Boulon, this hour with Kate Boulon.
	All right, so someone says, please talk about this.
	I don't know what that is.
	Imagine CNN reports on this during the live stream.
	How awesome would it be if CNN reported on us live streaming CNN?
	That's what Christopher Nolan's done there.
	Crowder CNN livestream.
	Still trending.
	Guys, we got to get this to the top so that CNN wants to harm themselves.
	But trust me, by the time we get to night 10, this thing's going to get wild and wooly.
	We have some weird stuff coming on down the pike.
	That's until midnight.
	It's 930 in the morning.
	God.
	I really don't know that I can do this.
	I don't know that I can do it, especially because Jared was supposed to be here and Sven never learned how to operate the switchboard.
	It's true.
	So now I have no one.
	I have no one to assist.
	It's just me.
	We have a commercial break here in a second here for us.
	We have a commercial break for us before, Gavin?
	Yep.
	All right.
	What do we have?
	We got Simply Safe coming up here.
	Simply Safe.
	Do I have time to take a leak?
	You do.
	All right.
	Listen, we'll be right back after this with the CNN hit list.
	I have to go.
	I believe it or not, I have to use the restroom and after that means, look at this, I have to use the restroom and I have to take off this belt.
	So hold on a second.
	Look at this.
	Look at this.
	This is my, this is my Walther.
	See?
	Right there.
	But I don't want to take it out.
	But look, I got appendix care.
	He's an innate squared.
	And you put this in a shirt, you can't see it.
	But right now it just looks like a, it just looks like a vicious chastity belt.
	We can hear you.
	Oh, that's right, we have shotgun mines.
	All right, I'm going to take a leak.
	SimpliSafe commercial with the star Hopper coming up.
	Hopper, eat these carrots.
	Eat these carrots.
	We'll be right back!
	Honey, the SimpliSafe is here!
	I'm gonna install it.
	Oh, SimpliSafe.
	A completely wireless home security system?
	It only takes less than an hour to install.
	We'll cover your whole house's phone line and internet crash proof.
	But... But I cover the whole house.
	And it offers 24-7 professional monitoring.
	Simply said, joke's on you.
	Steven Heumann had a monitoring system and it just got ripped off by the contracts.
	So he doesn't use them anymore.
	You simply say, offer 24-7 monitoring.
	Only $14.99 a month with no contract!
	That's not even more than my food, even.
	I say, Steven's offering a sale right now for $200 off with people order at simplysafe.com slash Crowder.
	Oh, Bobber.
	Honey, have you seen a Simply Safe store?
	Uh, I haven't seen it.
	I think it broke and the trash man threw it out.
	It must not be that reliable.
	Don't worry, I'll bark at him.
	Cause I'm a god dog.
	I'm your Nike and Jared on the Shelf.
	What are you... What are you doing here?
	club site-up now through Christmas.
	Only $99 annually.
	$69 for students and vets.
	What are you... what are you doing here?
	Get access to Loudmouth Crowder's daily show.
	Finally!
	And all of CRTV's lineup, including Mark Stein, Mark Levin, and Michelle Malkin.
	How'd you get in here?
	Shoot me an Astroglide!
	You know, Dasher and Dancer, Prancer and Vixen, Comedy, Cupid, Prancer and Vixen, Comedy, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen, Malkin.
	But do you recall?
	How exploitative this Christmas special really is.
	Rudolph gets screwed.
	It's pretty rough.
	Sad as borderline racist.
	You'll see what I'm talking about.
	The fuck?!
	Hi, you're not Gage Yern on a shelf!
	I come complimentary with every Mug Club sign-up, now through the new year!
	That sounds like a bargain.
	Have you signed up for your Mug Club yet?
	Only $99 annually, or $69 for students.
	I'm not...
	Not only do you get access to Loud Earth Crater daily, finally, but the entire CRTV lineup, including Mark Levin, Mark Stein, and Michelle Malkin.
	This is breaking and entering.
	I'd think twice about that.
	Some pretty damning photos are already on the cloud.
	I do what I say.
	And we are back.
	I'm in the room.
	This is the true story.
	It's a good coffee machine.
	Makes it worth using.
	And who do we have right now?
	We have G.P.
	representing the FBI plotting against candidate Trump.
	Still Trump.
	Some more against Trump.
	How much can they talk about Russian investigation?
	How much can they talk about Russia investigation?
	I'm pretending I'm a host.
	Anyone can do it, really.
	It's pretty true.
	Who is it?
	Sven, who is this guy?
	I don't know how to run down this guy.
	Who is it?
	Sven, who is this guy?
	No.
	Boom.
	Better.
	I don't know how to run down on this guy.
	Who is this?
	Who is this, Sven?
	Do you know who this is?
	There was or was not any fire.
	There it is.
	Frankly, I have no idea.
	Sponsored by Walter, everybody!
	Sponsored by Walter!
	Hey, hold on a second.
	Can you bring us over here before we come back into the news?
	Can they hear me if I'm here?
	Yes.
	Look at this.
	Can you get the shot here?
	Or is that... Do we have anything closer?
	No.
	No?
	Alright, look.
	We got the old... Hold on, let me make sure that you guys know, okay?
	There's nothing in here.
	Alright.
	It's hard to keep everything maintained here.
	Anyway, the point is...
	I'll only bring up one.
	We have the old Walther PPK, classic, James Bond gun.
	Here, I'll bring this up for you.
	Sitting on display.
	This is our new sponsor.
	This is the old Walther PPK.
	Where do I need to get it to get into the light?
	Right there.
	There you go.
	Alright, let me show them this one too.
	They're still going to be mad about this one.
	Okay, nothing in here.
	We cleared them before we went live on air.
	Just making sure you can see, okay?
	But we've got the old Walther, PPK here, and then we've got the new Walther.
	We've got the PPQ.
	This is an incredible firearm.
	Our only ad campaign for Walther, just for people who don't know, is try it.
	That's it.
	That's all?
	You're going to buy a firearm this season.
	If you're thinking about it, if you're thinking about a Glock, if you're thinking about a Smith & Wesson, if you're thinking about a Ruger, try the Walther.
	Just go in.
	Go to the range.
	Rent them for ten bucks.
	I really did take a leak.
	That wasn't a joke.
	Just try the Walther.
	Just go in and ask to try the Walther.
	I guarantee you the trigger on that thing, it's like a match trigger.
	You know.
	It's silly how easy it is to be accurate with it.
	Yeah.
	I'll say this.
	We played with Aaron, the intern, a little game, like Battleship, but on target paper.
	Right.
	It became very quick to be unfun because he's like, OK, let's only use your Walther because this is my Walther.
	You're my Walther.
	OK, you got one after I did.
	I had a Glock.
	This was the PPQ.
	Yeah, but I guess your Glock is a 45.
	Yeah, Glock is 45.
	Yeah, this is the PPQ 9mm compared to his very similar 9mm.
	But looking back, because you didn't really none of us had had Walthers, would you get the 45 PPQ instead of the Glock?
	I certainly would have tried it.
	I have no idea.
	I've never tried it.
	It won gun of the year last year.
	Yeah.
	It won gun of the year last year, the PPQ-45, because people were asking for it.
	They do have it in a .45.
	That doesn't surprise me.
	It's the same thing as your Glock, only with the Walther trigger and ergonomics.
	It is an incredible firearm.
	Anyway, one thing, we just say thank you so much to our sponsors, SimpliSafe this year.
	SimpliSafe.com slash Crowder for 10% off.
	And thanks so much to Walther for having the balls to step up and support this show.
	You'd be surprised how big of a pussy most firearm companies are they acquiesce to the anti-gun lobby they're terrified they cower we told walther listen this is what we do we're conservative we're all christian conservatives here except for sven computer who's an atheist he's hellbound he'll be meeting muhammad soon but we said we're christian we said we're do not speak unless spoken to computer What is it?
	The AI.
	You need input.
	And Walter said, no, no, no, don't hit that button.
	That means you're going to talk.
	I didn't ask you to talk.
	And then Jared can talk.
	Jared's mic is on.
	Sven's computer is only on upon research request.
	Sure.
	Walter said, fine.
	We're like, we've done Tranny Bain.
	We're like, fine.
	We drew Shia LaBeouf's lawyers eating from a corn-infested pile of crap next to Muhammad is Bob Ross.
	How do I know?
	We drew Bob Ross lawyers.
	They were like, yeah, that's cool.
	That sounds pretty funny.
	That's literally kind of it.
	Thank you.
	Yeah.
	Walterfirearms.com.
	Go check him out.
	And I wouldn't, you know me, we did it.
	We did that video.
	First time gun shooter.
	Remember a long time ago?
	Yeah.
	I remember that.
	With Scott.
	Yeah.
	And he was like, I'd definitely be getting the PPQ.
	Exactly.
	Yeah.
	We were not sponsored by Walter.
	Nope.
	Jared knows this.
	They've just always been... I've just been a huge advocate.
	He tried a range.
	He tried a broader range of guns and made it into the video.
	He did.
	He tried a ton of guns.
	He tried a lot of different ones.
	And I will say this.
	I've always been a revolver guy.
	I'm revolver guy or Walther.
	That's pretty much it.
	Because it's the closest thing.
	No external safety with what I use.
	You don't have to worry about it.
	Just boom.
	Point.
	Go.
	Super accurate.
	Never had a problem.
	Super reliable.
	And then I also have a lot of revolvers.
	We have a guest.
	Hold on a second.
	What are they talking about?
	Corporate tax cut.
	The biggest factor in bill.
	Good!
	CNN, I'm really glad to hear that.
	And then we have a guest.
	Okay, for the next guest sound guy, we're going to get me some headphones, right?
	So I can hear them a little bit better.
	Right, Nakajaren?
	We'll turn up a little bit.
	Okay, good.
	So are you there?
	We have Gavin McInnis.
	How are you, sir?
	Hi, Steven.
	How are you today?
	I am, well, terrible.
	I'll tell you what, I actually preferred waterboarding to this.
	It's 945.
	I don't know how I'm going to make through 16 hours of CNN.
	That's the plan?
	I knew you were doing a long show, I didn't know you were going to be watching CNN for 16 hours.
	Yeah, well we wanted to do 24 hours, but they're so lazy, they only do 16 hours of programming.
	So I wasn't going to watch Don Lemon on repeat, you know?
	You know what you need to get you through this, and it follows the theme of Christmas, it's called a little snow, a little cocaine.
	Well, for people who don't know, you know, we've been doing the YouTube, Carol.
	I don't know if you've been watching at all.
	We had segment one.
	There may or may not be a Gavin cameo somewhere in there.
	And Gavin has his own mug.
	By the way, Gavin, now, of course, we created Mug Club, and they just copy-created mugs, but they are nice mugs.
	I created a different thing.
	I created a thing called Gavin's Mug Club.
	Okay.
	It's a thing where you can sign up and you get a mug.
	It's got my face on it.
	And it's just a way, it's just a fun club I am.
	It could be part of a group, but it's Gavin's Mug Club.
	Yes, Gavin's Mug Club.
	Well, the good thing is we're all under that umbrella, you know, at CRTV, so people can join up and there's a discount if they're a veteran, military, or student.
	Gavin, tell them about your show there on CRTV.
	By the way, right now on CNN, they're talking about the corporate tax cut is the biggest factor in the bill, as though it's a bad thing.
	Are you upset at the idea of reducing the highest corporate tax rate in the world?
	Is it just me, or do I see that and go, good, yeah, sounds fine?
	No, I'm not upset, but I'm one of the few people who should be upset.
	I'm rich.
	I'm going to get rich.
	It's true.
	Well, you just don't get helped.
	Right.
	Yeah, I can't write off a bunch of stuff that I could write off last year.
	And my taxes, by the way, are more than what most of these critics will make in a lifetime.
	Right.
	No, I know.
	We have the right to complain.
	We have employees.
	We run businesses.
	And we don't complain.
	But the people who don't generate any income don't have a job don't even have kids they can't wait to bitch because they're spoiled.
	Well even not gay Jared you know not gay Jared is in the is in a bracket actually where he should benefit I think from this.
	Yeah you absolutely should but it's that's one thing people don't understand it's middle middle.
	When they say the wealthiest 5%, you're in that top 10%.
	We're all in the top 1% of the world, but a lot of employees here do well enough that these tax cuts will affect them.
	Not to mention, we'll be able to add more employees.
	I mean, you know, you have a show.
	The way CRTV works is we all kind of produce our own shows, so we employ people in different areas of the country.
	And the more your show grows, the more people who sign up, the more people you're able to employ.
	Let's say you had an extra million dollars to our own budget, I would imagine the very first thing you would do is probably hire more people, and then probably improve some tech capabilities.
	Is that a little underhand stuff?
	No, we need a better switcher here, so we have a plan for the new year, depending on how many people join today, two new hires, and then some new things that we need to fix in the studio.
	Look, I'm so rich that money is just a thing.
	Like when they say, that'll be $35, sir.
	I just go, you mean these?
	And I take out my wallet and I just show them some bills and they go, it's one of those, one of those, and one of these.
	And I go, okay, well get it out of my hand.
	It's like every day it's just like being in a strip club.
	And I just sort of go, is this enough for dinner?
	Is this enough for those drinks?
	Is this enough for that car?
	It's gonna go in the pile.
	Well, maybe not the best ambassador, then, for this tax bill, because I don't think people are hearing your story, and this sounds like a good idea.
	Do you want me to give you the hit list thus far?
	Gerald Morgan at G. Morgan Jr.
	is here with us, by the way.
	I know since you haven't been watching, do you want me to give you the hit list thus far, Gavin, of the biases and flat-out lies from CNN just in the first hour and 49 minutes?
	Yes, and before you do, I wouldn't be surprised, and I'm a sexist so I'm biased, that there was a disproportionate number of women saying these things.
	I've noticed that we've got that Zoe Tuerer's daughter, Katie Tuerer, and some other chick.
	Wait, which one's the Tuerer, the tranny who strangled Ben Shapiro?
	That's Zoe Tour.
	She was on CNN talking, laughing about how much, how generous this is to those evil corporations.
	Alright.
	That's a lie right there, but let me read you a couple.
	So right away, CNN started off with stoking Russian hysteria, talking about him firing Mueller.
	He already said he wasn't going to fire Mueller.
	Adam Schiff talking about the Mueller probe.
	He's been saying he has evidence for nine months.
	There has been no evidence presented.
	Then we have, no mention at all, by the way, Gavin, it's trend number three.
	We're trend number eight.
	Hashtag Crowder CNN Livestream.
	I really hope you're tweeting out your appearance because we need the support.
	We want CNN's not happy, so we want to make them really livid.
	But no mention of Uranium One.
	No mention at all thus far all day.
	Then they talk about the CHIP program saying that Republicans want to defund it.
	They're going to kill nine million tiny Tims.
	That's not true.
	They put a bill forward to fund it for another five years.
	Democrats didn't like the way it was going to be funded, so they're the ones who are shutting it down.
	Uh, they mentioned the Melbourne attack.
	They said that someone ran a car into a group of holiday shoppers.
	Actually, it's an Afghani named Saeed Nayori, and he ran it into Christmas shoppers.
	Then, of course, they said there's a mysterious case of death at the border, and we're still looking into it.
	No, the number two suspects there have been federal investigations are two illegal immigrant drug dealers.
	All of this in one hour and 45 minutes.
	Gavin, can you believe it?
	Wait a minute.
	In their defense, holiday shoppers are Christmas shoppers?
	That doesn't seem like that big of a flub.
	Well, they didn't mention that he was an Afghani Muslim.
	They just said some guy.
	Illegal.
	That's a lie.
	That's negligent.
	Well, that's what I'm saying.
	It's the bias by omissions.
	No, he's not illegal.
	That's the people who killed the border agent.
	And they just said someone killed this border patrol agent and it's a case we don't know.
	It's like, well, the suspects are two illegal immigrants.
	But the point is that the Christmas instead of holiday is just the politically correct cherry on top of the fake news Sunday.
	I was talking to John Williams about this yesterday.
	I don't get why they want the world to be the way it is.
	They want Nazis and white terrorists to be the problem, and they don't want Muslims to be the problem.
	So they purposely avoid any kind of a Muslim pattern, yet with anyone who looks like a I just don't understand why.
	through his entire life, they find calm.
	Kind of finds it.
	And I just don't understand why.
	Why do they want America to be a racist, sexist, transphobic, homophobic?
	They need it to.
	They need it to for any of their ideologies to work.
	We were talking about this, right?
	A good example is like Russia.
	What was a lie?
	The Trump-Russia dossier, right?
	It was a lie.
	So they need another Trump-Russia story to justify their lie, right?
	They're protecting their source.
	Well, why would you protect a source that humiliated you?
	Because it's probably some top Democrat.
	Likely Schiff.
	You know what I mean?
	Like, why would you protect a source that hung you out to dry?
	You say, my source sucked.
	It was Jimmy, and everyone's like, ah, Jimmy, you're an asshole.
	Instead, CNN protects the source that embarrassed them.
	So they need another story.
	Oh, Nikki Haley.
	Okay, hold on one second.
	Gavin, am I the only one who thinks that Nikki Haley is kind of fine?
	Oh, that's my type in a nutshell.
	I like haggard brunettes.
	She's not that haggard.
	She looks like she's worked hard, but she doesn't look haggard to me.
	She just looks like she's led a life, but she's very pretty and she puts herself together well.
	Yeah, she makes me seek.
	Okay.
	I think it's like the Russian example, or like the illegal immigrant example, right?
	If they say, who's to know?
	And someone says, actually, we have right here the report from the FBI, they're looking in as two illegal immigrant drug cartels.
	They need another lie.
	They need it to be, no, no, no, it's not illegal aliens.
	They need it because they reported, we have no idea who this is.
	No, no, it's an Afghani Muslim.
	They need another lie Just to prevent themselves from embarrassment.
	It's the same thing with Marxism.
	It's the same thing with their tax policy.
	It's never worked.
	Show me one place, one place where Marxism, one place where communism has ever worked.
	It's never worked, so they need the next one.
	They have a communist mentality, which is, I start with the conclusion and then I work backwards from there.
	So the conclusion is that we have a problem with Nazis.
	And then I'm just going to go through American culture and try to find examples to plug it in.
	Like they have this theory that Trump has enabled all these Nazis to come out of the woodwork.
	They were all sitting there waiting, and now they feel empowered.
	That's the thing they started with the conclusion, and now they just have to find examples.
	And there aren't examples.
	They just come up with hate crime.
	Okay, I'm going to spray-paint pale Trump on this building to make it so.
	Exactly.
	Poop swastika.
	Poop Swastika.
	Is Sound Guy Edward gone?
	Yeah, he's peeing.
	Alright, well, is there any way to bring up the sound so we can all hear the... Can Gavin hear the CNN?
	Poop Swastika are playing at Mercury Lounge on Thursday if you guys want to go.
	I know the bases.
	Yeah, they really have run out of band names.
	I saw that when I was in a car with Andrew Breitbart and this band came on, Deer Tick, and Andrew turned to me and he just said, I really, like, I hate to be that guy where their generation, like, is mad about Elvis swiveling his hips, but it really feels as though they've run out of band names when it's Deer Tick.
	And he went into the science of why it was a bad band name.
	Okay, well, you know what, Gavin, where's the best place for people to find you, sir?
	We're going to have to go watch Nikki Haley here.
	I'm on a website called CRTV.com, and if you go there you can join Gavin's Mug Club.
	It's Gavin's Mug Club.
	You get $10 off, and you get to see all of the top people at CRTV, like Michelle Malkin, Phil Robertson, me, I think that's pretty much it.
	Thank you very much, Gavin McInnes!
	We must go!
	Alright, we're back to watching Haley.
	Gerald Morgan with us.
	Yeah.
	What's the wine of the day?
	The wine of the day?
	I'm going to bring that in a little while.
	It's too early for a wine of the day.
	Were you planning on coming later?
	Yeah, I'm coming multiple times.
	Alright, there we go.
	Wow, that bet could be taken.
	Do we have a sound adjustment?
	Horrible.
	Just sit back and relax.
	Well, I had to move the microphone because it was, you know, a tiny person.
	Ignore my gun chastity belt from Walther.
	I'm staring at your crotch for reasons that I am not aware of.
	Alright, let's bring up Nikki Haley a little bit, everyone.
	Let's hear... Hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.
	Let's hear what she has to say to the UN.
	Please, tear them a new one.
	Instead, there is a larger point to make.
	The United States will remember this day in which it was singled out for attack in the General Assembly for the very act of exercising our right as a sovereign nation.
	Why would you ever mute us?
	This is the show!
	The funny part is when we just talk.
	Well, not when you talk.
	Well, that's true.
	make the world's largest contribution to the united nations and we will remember it when so many countries come calling on us as they know don't why would you ever mute us this is the show the funny part is when we just talk well not when you talk well that's true i'm just saying let's just have the audio going so everyone can hear the audio that goes that is what the american people want us to do and let's hear it it is the right thing to do i You don't think that's a good-looking woman?
	Eh, I mean, good, yeah.
	Sound guy Edward thinks she's good-looking.
	Well, he said he likes haggard brunettes, which reminded me of like... No, that was Ed Gavin.
	No, I know Gavin said that, but it reminded me of like, well, it's like strippers and other stuff that look a little haggard.
	You're a horrible Christian.
	Not at all.
	That's his comeback.
	No, not at all.
	No, I'm not.
	I think it's incredible that they even put it out there.
	It's great.
	Like, we're actually standing up against the... Hey, can you do me a favor?
	Hopper is scraping at the door.
	I can't hear.
	Hopper is banging at the door like Kudra right now trying to get in.
	He wants to be in.
	This is the time for him to hang out with us.
	There you go.
	Come on, Hopper.
	Come on in, buddy.
	Oh, buddy.
	He's coming over here for some pets.
	That's right, buddy.
	He had to take the scarf off of him.
	Hi, bud.
	Okay.
	Oh, geez.
	I think it's crazy that you're going to see the UN do this, and they won't probably cover this part of it, so this is maybe a sin of omission here, is that I think 6 of the 12 UN resolutions are against Israel, when they're kind of handing out demerits for people right now.
	What are they voting on exactly?
	I'm not sure.
	I'd have to look it up.
	It was already established, Jerusalem as the Israeli capital.
	Right.
	I don't think it's that.
	I don't think it's that.
	I don't know.
	We'll have to look it up real quick and just make sure.
	But I believe it's probably just going to be condemning that action.
	Right?
	Probably.
	I don't understand what the vote is.
	I don't think it's that.
	What is it?
	I don't think it's that.
	I don't know.
	We'll have to look it up real quick and just make sure.
	But I believe it's probably just going to be condemning that action, right?
	They're voting on condemning the action.
	Probably.
	That's all they ever do.
	They don't actually do anything.
	They just condemn Israel.
	And anybody that supports Israel.
	Does anyone here, I'm gonna look on Twitter right now, does anyone know what they're actually voting on in the UN here today?
	Ask Dolev on Twitter, she'll know.
	Sorry, hopefully the sound isn't too bad.
	We have a guy who was not supposed to come today who's running electrical.
	Don't you worry.
	They are, they're voting on a resolution to condemn the United States for recognizing Jerusalem.
	Yeah.
	As capital and moving embassy.
	Yes, Sven Computer.
	It's okay, at Sven Computer.
	You have the overlay?
	Alright.
	It's okay.
	Sorry, people.
	This is the show.
	No, it's live.
	I think people like that.
	We completely crash.
	Usually, you know, just so you know, overlays, we are so meticulous.
	Usually what you're seeing now is we watch something, we say, hey, that sounds like BS.
	And so then we say, OK, let's do some research.
	And then we have the overlays pre-made.
	Yeah.
	And then you see them that night.
	Are you going to go ask them to shut up?
	Just tell them they don't need to do their electrical stuff today.
	There are people out there with weed whackers and weed blowers.
	Oh, my gosh.
	Hopper's going to go kill them.
	He's going to be angry.
	That's the problem when you have a corporate office and people, you know, they're doing this.
	We have to wash everyone's windows today.
	Not ours!
	Not ours!
	We've got SimpliSafe though.
	All right, hold on a second.
	We got the overlay there, Sven?
	Sven Shapiro points out on Twitter.
	This is not a new development.
	I mean, the UN is known for just criticizing Israel, just slamming it every turn.
	So the 135 resolutions pretty much in the last 10 years, more than 50% have been against Israel.
	And 83 of the last 97 criticizing countries have also been against Israel.
	So, just so you know, it's not new.
	So it's about moving the American embassy?
	Well, it's about us saying that Jerusalem is the capital and moving our embassy there.
	Right.
	And agreeing with that.
	Moving our embassy there.
	Something that has been done technically.
	Yes, but it's our embassy.
	People understand, for example, in the United States there's a German embassy.
	We can do whatever the hell we want is what you're saying, right?
	Germany can put their embassy where they want in the United States.
	Honest, dumb question.
	What does the UN have to gain by supporting, like, leaning a little Hamasi?
	I think it shows the bias.
	Yeah, but I don't know what they have.
	It is a good question.
	What do they have to gain?
	Well, what they would probably claim is, here's a good example, right?
	There's more peace and tension.
	When you have Syria, Egypt, Jordan, everyone wanting to wipe Israel off the face of the map, and the UN are a bunch of spineless pansies, right?
	Yeah.
	For example, you know, if you look at the UN, you look at the Seven Day War, it's like, oh, here's a place that gained land in a defensive war, Israel.
	When countries came together to wipe them out, If the UN wants, I don't know, this is just a hunch, if the UN wants as little work to do as possible, it's just a lot easier to side with everyone who wants to kill them.
	There's one little plot of land, everyone wants them out, and the UN wants to appease as many people as possible.
	So, mob rule.
	Yeah, hold on, Sven Computer had something.
	So, as Reginald just said, this is coming from CBS, so this resolution that they're voting on right now is stating that any decision to change the status of Jerusalem is null and void, has no legal effect, and that it must be rescinded.
	So that's precisely what they're voting on.
	You know what?
	Big middle finger to you, UN.
	We can do whatever we want.
	I'm sorry.
	I mean, Trump yesterday just tweeted... I don't care if you like it.
	I don't know if he tweeted it, but he said that... I can't hear you.
	Beep, beep, boop.
	Trump said that he's watching this closely, beep beep, because all these countries, all the Muslim countries that are going to vote against Israel, beep beep, they are getting foreign aid by the US, beep beep, so he wants to cut the funding, potentially, if they keep on voting that way against Israel.
	Am I the only one who thinks it's entirely reasonable?
	Yeah.
	Very, very reasonable.
	And I'll bring the spiritual component in.
	Like, this is prophesied.
	Like, nobody's gonna like Israel.
	Sorry.
	It's just gonna be the case.
	And they know that.
	Well, tweet me that as Crowder.
	Hashtag CrowderCNNLivestream.
	Tweet me what you think on the Israel situation.
	Yeah.
	Do you think that we... Maybe if we bring that a little down, Jared, because now it's hot on my chest.
	Maybe it's because you're showing so much of your chest.
	Well, here's the problem.
	If I button this, it's so... It stretches out over the days.
	It's just cotton.
	That's true.
	There's no underarmor.
	Yeah, you gotta throw it in there and shrink it.
	I come by this honestly.
	You should just go topless towards the end.
	That's really when things will get interesting.
	Someone said, so Samir Karam said the UN decision will be based on the fear of violent countries and greed when it comes to the rich countries like Saudi Arabia.
	That is one thing, though.
	You got to admit, you kind of have to go with one or the other.
	Either the Jews are money-grubbing, you know, shekel hucksters, or they took the only plot of land in that entire area of the world with no oil.
	Yeah.
	You've made a horrible financial decision.
	Well, it's really interesting.
	You know, we had some Egyptian people that we knew that they would say that the Israelis, they could run their hands through the sand and pull out gold because they could produce stuff in land that nobody else could.
	If you look historically, every time that the Jews were not there inhabiting it, it was like jackals in ruins, man.
	It didn't really work out so well.
	Oh, we're going to get flak for you referring to the jackals.
	No, I understand.
	Wait, what?
	What's the jackal reference?
	I feel like you guys just brightened everything up, and now it's my turn to see the television.
	They're working on it.
	They're moving the lights around a little bit.
	It really does look stupid when I see Jared walking around in his onesie right now.
	Like, I didn't realize how dumb it looks.
	You know what you look like in real life.
	Oh, Haley's back up, or is this just a flashback?
	Probably a flashback.
	It's a flashback.
	Okay.
	I mean, I respect her.
	She got up there and said, we're going to be the only people that stand with Israel, and thank God, that's a promise in the Bible that we're going to be okay if we do that.
	Hold on, Sven Computer has some research here.
	Yes.
	Well, it's still raining, too.
	Okay, good.
	I mean, Saudi Arabia... At Sven Computer, by the way, for people who are wondering.
	At Sven Computer, use a hashtag.
	Use a hashtag.
	You can only get giveaways if you use the hashtag.
	And by the way, give me that bell.
	Go ahead.
	I mean, Saudi Arabia is on the UN Women's Rights Commission, so just so you know what kind of a joke the UN is.
	Saudi Arabia for women's rights.
	It's like Puerto Ricans for birth control.
	Ouch.
	They have a lot of children.
	And I'm going to get in trouble for jackals?
	Really?
	What?
	But it's expected of me.
	Oh, that's true.
	That's true.
	You don't have the license that I do.
	I called Hopper a white supremacist earlier.
	Well, he is.
	And the Hodge twins, back that up, I loved watching those guys.
	You should have seen the Hodge twins, by the way.
	Oh, that's awesome.
	Nothing like perpetuating the original stereotype.
	We're terrified of Hopper.
	Yeah.
	Terrified of Hopper.
	Separate the two.
	You know, I'm just gonna say it.
	It was so funny.
	We were sitting there, Hopper was growling and trying to get in, right?
	Like he was just now.
	He's always trying to get in the studio just because he wants to hang out.
	And the Hodge twins look at me and they go, you know what your dog's saying, right?
	I said, what?
	He's saying, yeah, there's niggers over there.
	No, you're supposed to come in and say hi!
	You're like, I don't want a dog to come and say hi.
	I'm a bitten by a dog.
	You mean this all-white dog is gonna come and say hi to these black kids?
	I don't know.
	Watch someone say, did you ever see The N-Word?
	Yes, I have in my lifetime.
	Of course, quote him.
	When I quoted the Hodge twins.
	Yeah.
	They're so funny.
	Every time I sing a rap song, too.
	Oh my gosh, do we have another?
	Are we going to YouTube Carol 2?
	Is that what we need to go to here soon, or when are we?
	Let's see.
	In 15 minutes.
	You guys actually have a schedule?
	Holy cow.
	In 15 minutes, segment 2 of the YouTube Carol.
	Can we tell people who the Ghost of Christmas Past is at that point, or do they need to watch?
	Wait, I think they need to get the reveal.
	I think you've got to tune in to see who the Ghost of Christmas Past is, but I want you to picture someone very feminine and floaty and...
	That's all I'll give you.
	That's a lot of detail.
	So the Twitter consensus is she's good-looking.
	The Twitter consensus is right.
	She is.
	I'm just saying it doesn't do what it does for Gavin to me.
	Okay?
	That's true.
	It doesn't make me stand up and go, yeah, that's a really beautiful woman.
	You keep talking.
	I have to send a text here.
	Yeah, I will.
	Jared, how are you?
	No, I'm just kidding.
	People are wondering why you aren't wearing a onesie today, by the way.
	Well, no, no, that's not in my contract.
	Do we have a taser?
	That's not in my contract.
	It needs to be tased.
	It is after your bonus.
	Did I accept that by clicking accept, you promise to abide by these terms and conditions?
	But Jared Liz, you are wearing the new shirt.
	I am wearing the new shirt that I'm going to draw my face in like right over here and protest.
	It's okay.
	It's alright.
	It's a beautiful shirt.
	No, no, that's okay.
	It's a season of perpetual hope.
	Season of perpetual hope?
	So one of the things, I know we're talking about CNN, we kind of mentioned it just a second ago.
	Oh my god, that's like Candy Crowley, just remove water.
	This is not, this is... That's what I was saying, she's kind of like the junk Muppet lady in Labyrinth.
	Your vegetable, you need your vegetable!
	It is interesting.
	What I was going to say is that the fair way to present this, what's going on right now, we shouldn't have had to look this up.
	For the average viewer that doesn't have time to look this up, they have no idea what's going on, they're tuning out.
	That's what bothers me.
	We should hear, the United States is moving its embassy, right, that should be in some kind of scroll down here.
	And instead it says Trump's decision on Jerusalem, not the American people's decision in 1995 that was voted on in Congress, right?
	That's not what we're hearing, and the capital that we've given them already.
	There should be more context, and it's very easy to do in a short period of time, and they're not doing it.
	So the United States is just getting bashed in the UN, and that's all we're kind of hearing.
	We're not hearing the other side of the story, which we should be able to do whatever the hell we want with our own embassy.
	Well, what's just crazy to me is they were talking about how 9 million tiny Tims are going to die because of the CHIP program, you know, Child Health Care Initiative, and it's not true.
	No, and somebody tweeted out a picture to me and a couple other people on the team that had like a pre-1950s photograph of a child dying from type 1 diabetes, and I was like, well, it's good that you had to go back to pre-1950s because no children will die like that, okay?
	True.
	Not with this.
	You can go to an emergency room today and get whatever you need if your child is in that severe of a condition.
	You're fine.
	It's going to be taken care of, but scare tactics.
	Hey, how many nose jobs do you think that lady in the middle has had?
	It's a pretty good looking nose.
	How many do you think the guy on the right has not had?
	Ouch.
	You're going to say this as a guy with a schnoz?
	Look at the side profile on this, guys.
	Get a side profile.
	Switch.
	People can't see.
	Oh, for you.
	For me, for me, for me.
	Get a side profile on this schnoz.
	Look at this.
	There you go.
	Here, I'll give you some.
	No, that's just flesh color.
	There's a lot of contrast.
	There you go.
	Hey, isn't this comfortable?
	It is comfortable.
	Do I have a way to recline?
	Yeah, you do.
	There's a button on your left there.
	Just make sure you don't kick over any stands or anything in here.
	Where's the button?
	It's on the side.
	It's on the right side.
	And this is the part of the show where men try to figure out how to work really easy things in life.
	It's all on this side of the... Alright, so... Oh, I can't see that because it's coming from my seat.
	It's way over there, yeah.
	Are you gonna- ooh, is it electric?
	It's electric.
	Oh.
	Oh.
	What about my foot?
	Work it.
	You're good.
	There's another button.
	There's like ten buttons.
	Use your buttons.
	Oh, boy!
	Look at that.
	Hot damn, this is so much better.
	That's nice.
	There we go.
	That's good stuff.
	Yours works too.
	Yeah, I'm not into that.
	My wife would never allow me to have one like this.
	So she got me, my wife got me that leather recliner in there.
	Looks really nice, but it's for short people.
	You've sat in it, it's like your calves are off of it and your head.
	This is amazing.
	You know, short people have it Pretty good in this country.
	Do you think we could make the setup work if we ditch those and put this in here?
	Do you think it would look just awful?
	It would look so bad.
	But it would be really comfortable.
	All right, well, this is going to go in the office space and I'm going to have, for the morning pitches, this is going to be my thing.
	That would be good.
	Recline.
	Use it.
	Recline.
	I don't know that I want to.
	Do full recline.
	Bring the legs up first.
	It's in your contract.
	It's not in my contract!
	You didn't read it.
	We updated this one.
	Oh, oh, hold on.
	What are you doing?
	I'm trying to get it to... Yeah, that's the back.
	That's the back.
	There we go.
	Hold on.
	No, I got, like, four... There's four buttons, right?
	Yeah, there's four buttons.
	So the first one is to recline your legs.
	Guys, tweet him at G. Morgan Jr.
	so he learns how to recline his damn chair.
	Shut it.
	Shut it.
	Okay, so that's the other button.
	To recline your... Alright, you know what?
	I'm bored with you.
	Here we go.
	Here we go.
	I love this again, but Trump calling Dems want to shut down for the holidays.
	No, it should read Democrats are going to shut down for the holidays.
	Right.
	Or like Trump said the Democrats would.
	No, but they are though.
	He's quoting a fact.
	And by the way, here's the thing.
	I'm actually not that against it.
	Oh, there we go.
	Hold on.
	Joe, can you ring me the bell?
	Well, my chair now.
	I gotta figure out how to recline.
	Who has joined Mug Club today?
	Hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.
	We will read it out loud.
	Sven, bring up the Twitter and we will hit the bell every time someone lets us know that they've joined Mug Club.
	It has to be confirmed.
	It's confirmed!
	Do you have a good online link to buy Walters from?
	Recovering Millennial.
	You know what?
	Is there?
	I don't think there's a specific one for us, no.
	I don't know if there's not, not from us, but listen, if you are a fan of Walther sponsoring the show, you want that, you want this show to continue, you want more like the CNN livestream, just call Walther, let them know that you heard about them on this show.
	Yeah.
	Listen, we're not in it to make any, we don't make any more money if they sell more Walthers, right?
	They're just helping to sponsor the show because it's, I truly believe, I mean, you have it, it's, it's, they're just, they're the best guns out there at the price point.
	Their newest one, have you seen their newest one, the Creed?
	I haven't seen that one.
	So it's their low price point Walther.
	Sorry, this is a commercial right now.
	So we're kind of doing a commercial.
	It's their low price point Walther.
	So it's, uh, I think $3.50 if you get in the stores.
	Yeah.
	It'd be comparable to like a Glock 17.
	And by the way, that's available in California.
	A lot of the Walthers aren't.
	They have a 10 round magazine.
	Their new one, the Creed.
	Just Google reviews, Walther Creed.
	You will find nothing but glowing reviews.
	As a matter of fact, some people are like, I don't know if I like the Creed better than the PPQ because it's so good.
	It has a half cocked, uh, double single action trigger.
	So it's not a strike or fire game.
	It's basically kind of like, it's like a double single, except it's always half cocked.
	So it effectively, it's a five pound trigger pull.
	That's about the PPQ is about six.
	So it is, but it has a metal wider trigger guard, kind of like you'd be used to more so with, um, you know, more traditional, like a SIG or something like that.
	Yeah.
	So, uh, even their lowest price one, the new Creed, if you, if you're looking, if it's out of your price range, cause Walther is going to be really high quality lifetime warranty, their Creed is their less expensive one.
	It's around $300.
	It is still the best.
	It's unbelievable.
	They're good guns.
	They really are good guns.
	We don't make any more money if they sell them.
	So just let Walther know that you heard about them from us.
	That's it.
	We're not trying to sell you anything, but Walther firearms are amazing.
	You're going to buy a gun by that one.
	Everyone here, this whole studio, we all have Walthers.
	We carry Walthers.
	We have Walthers at home.
	Everyone, we can't say enough good things about them.
	I'd shoot Sven with Walthers.
	I wouldn't shoot him with anything else.
	Is CNN recovering?
	Okay.
	I will always remember the battle, the grand battle of S. Crowder and Gene Morgan Jr.
	versus the recliner.
	Someone said we're number four in trending, but I don't see us trending at all.
	No?
	No, I don't see us trending at all.
	That's wrong.
	Maybe it just needs to update.
	You know what, maybe... Oh, I see us trending.
	We moved down the trending list, guys.
	It's okay for a little bit, because it's a boring hour here with what they're doing.
	Their stuff is boring.
	But tonight, we need you getting us to number one trend.
	That's what we need you doing.
	Oh, it'll happen.
	This is just kind of like warming up.
	Tonight gets wild and wooly.
	I joined the mug... Okay, Sven, can you ring up the Twitter?
	Yes.
	All right.
	Mike Samuel says, I joined Mug Club at 9.58am.
	Hey!
	Nice.
	There you go.
	Every time a Mug Clubber joins, Muhammad gets sexually accosted in hell.
	It's going to be a long day for him.
	You should have something special for existing subscribers that change to a three-year subscription.
	Upsell Ahoy.
	Oh.
	You know what?
	We don't, but that's not a bad idea.
	People are like, do we get a mug every time?
	You don't, because it's pretty expensive.
	Yeah.
	It's a good mug.
	That's a good idea.
	If you renew for three years, we'll make sure you get something special.
	Maybe what we can do, Jared, is do actual handmade mugs by you and I, like Ghost Schwayze.
	Oh, no.
	It's not a bit, but if people do it for three years, we do an actual handmade mug by us.
	Awesome.
	These are pan-painted and hand-etched.
	They're squishy and, like, feels good in your fingers.
	Y'all are having a little bit of a homoerotic.
	Maybe we'll sell handmade mugs that you make with Gerald.
	No, no, no.
	Again, not in the contract.
	So these are hand-painted, hand-etched at lottoescutter.com slash mug club, but they're not hand-formed because we just don't, I mean, that's incredibly expensive.
	It is, and difficult to do.
	Tell us what you want to hear us talk about most here during the live stream.
	We're kind of going based on what, but they just, it's so repetitive.
	I can't believe cable news still exists.
	How can you watch CNN anymore?
	I think it's just people leaving it on in doctor's offices and hoping that people only watch it for two or three minutes at a time.
	That makes it.
	Airports, there we go.
	Yeah, airports as well.
	Everywhere you travel, you see it.
	You're indoctrinated with it.
	I guess trending is curated for people, because people are showing me right now it's number four on their trending list.
	Oh, that's good.
	I kind of thought that too, because it was showing up on Edward's before it showed up on mine, and then it showed up on yours and mine, which is kind of weird.
	Yeah.
	I don't know if it's curated, but I know there is a difference between where you have it set.
	So it's like United States trends or world trends or some... If you had it set on your pornography trends, though, you're probably not going to see it there, right?
	Yeah.
	Well, I don't know.
	Wait, what are we talking about now?
	I don't know.
	Oh, I thought we were still talking about mugs.
	I guarantee you with history.
	OK, so Steven S. Ellis said, I ought to renew my mug club, but I'd rather give you my money directing YouTube.
	No, Mug Club doesn't go to YouTube at all.
	Right.
	So just so you know, our YouTube revenue has been cut by a quarter.
	But Mud Club Revenue has significantly outpaced it.
	That's why we don't have overlays of all the employees, do we?
	We do not.
	Okay, so in this room we have full-time, we have Not Gay Jared, Sound Guy Edwards, Fenn Computer, he's part-time, Gerald Morgan, myself obviously, we have Aaron the intern, we have Darren, Francine, Garrett is part-time, then we have Courtney Scoffs on the website, of course, we have Casey.
	on the website.
	We have Broadigan on the website.
	We have Corey.
	We have Nicole.
	We have several people who are part-time, and all of this is because of Mug Club.
	We have Reg. Reg. Reg. Reg is our super researcher.
	Squat 630 pounds.
	Reginald, I love you, brother.
	He's been making this possible today since we had our whole system go out.
	He's helping send us overlays, which we're getting to you.
	It's an amazing team of people.
	It really is.
	They do a lot of work and it's the only way we can keep doing it.
	We can't do it with YouTube revenue.
	We can't do it with the Google revenue.
	MugClub is the way.
	But we've never created MugClub to take that away from you.
	What we've done is use MugClub.
	Use our partnership with CRTV to create more and better content and give it to you for free.
	People who don't pay get more free content because my goal, you see, with Change My Mind is to go out and change people's minds.
	And then the people who pay get more content.
	You get a full-length daily show, the nightly show.
	You get morning grinders.
	You get Gavin McGinnis.
	You get Roman Millennial.
	So you don't have to join, but if you want us to be able to fight back and there's no one else who's going to be doing it, that's just, you know, $69 for the year.
	That's what, seven bucks a month?
	That's what it takes if you're a student, veteran, military, and we cannot thank you enough.
	All right, that's it.
	I'm up.
	But yeah, any dollars to Mug Club, go directly to us.
	That's fantastic.
	So you're seeing another thing on CNN right now.
	The Congress needs to reach a deal by midnight tomorrow.
	Why do we wait to the last second every single time?
	What do you mean they need to reach a deal?
	Well, it's a spending deal, right?
	You've got to pass the budget so that the government doesn't shut down, right?
	And we always kind of seem to kind of walk all the way up to the edge of the cliff before we do it.
	I find it funny how they bitch about the tax plan, and it's going to add $1.5 trillion over 10 years is what they're claiming, which, this is amazing, because 10 trillion in 8 years, that's barely outpacing inflation.
	That's fantastic.
	But now it's like, okay, when it comes to spending, they won't cut anything.
	So the Democrats are like, how could you dare reduce taxes on people?
	And it's like, okay, well, how about we cut some stuff?
	No!
	How about we drug test for people to get welfare checks?
	You're a monster!
	Or the whole work program where you have to go out and work.
	You have to try to find a job.
	You can sit on unemployment for a very, very long time right now.
	Someone just said you look like a motherless goat.
	Well, I'm the son of a motherless goat.
	I think the reason is because you're wearing this.
	You're the only one not in a Christmas cheer.
	Look, man, I have Christmas cheer.
	Look, when you come back later, dress in red and green.
	Son of a bitch, dress in red and green.
	How in the world?
	That's so insensitive.
	Don't be such a prick, Gerald.
	I'm red and green colorblind, and you're telling me to dress in red and green?
	It's unbelievable.
	You have to dress in red and green too, sound guy.
	Edward?
	Yeah, see?
	See, I'm not the only one.
	Get a scarf or shawl, something.
	Get a shawl.
	Look at this guy.
	At least he's fat and he's jolly.
	Have some damn Christmas spirit.
	I hate those glasses.
	Those glasses scream affection.
	Okay, hold on a second.
	Hold on, someone just said, someone just said, Forrest Riley, Sven, can we bring this up as an overlay?
	Forrest Riley, just looking at Twitter, you were top 10 US for me, but then you were bumped by the Great American Tax Heist.
	Thanks, CNN.
	So let's keep it going.
	Hashtag crowd our CNN livestream.
	Boom.
	Forrest Riley, and if you go to work, keep us going.
	Just put us on in the background, make it your radio show for the day.
	Yeah.
	Guests coming in and out nonstop, not to mention YouTube Carol.
	Forrest Riley finally joined Mug Club for the CNN stream.
	Give me your best gump joke I haven't heard.
	What do you mean best gump joke?
	Gump.
	Gump?
	Is that a genre of jokes?
	Every time someone joins Mug Club, Muhammad is sexually accosted in hell.
	I need to, you know what?
	I think people should tweet and tell me that I look just fine.
	I need some help here.
	What are you talking about?
	You guys are tiny.
	You're on me.
	Someone said, what are you talking about?
	You guys are tiny.
	I think people don't realize Gerald is 6'5".
	Yeah, I'm a little taller.
	What are you, 240, 250?
	Don't lie.
	245.
	245, and I'm about 6'2.5", 220.
	245.
	Yeah.
	245.
	And I'm about 6'2.5", 220.
	Yeah.
	Because after the...
	When you already ate your discs, did you shorten?
	No, I didn't.
	I didn't end up having that kind of surgery.
	Hold on a second.
	Sean Davis, WTTV, says, just signed up for Mug Club from Sydney, Australia.
	Merry Christmas to Chopper.
	It's Hopper, but hey!
	Chopper doesn't mind.
	Every time someone joins Mug Club in Australia, Muhammad is raped by a kangaroo in hell.
	That's even worse.
	Oh my gosh, Hopper hates the bell.
	He doesn't.
	He looked up to you and he's like, dude, really?
	Seriously?
	We're still on some people's trending list?
	Okay, hold on a second.
	Someone said something not nice about you, but then there was something way worse about me.
	No, no, no.
	Let's hear it.
	Hold on.
	Someone said, ghost of Christmas past, feminine floaty Ben Shapiro.
	We have to get to this second – we have to get to the second – Michael Carroll.
	Okay, hold on a second.
	Republicans heap praise on Trump for tax bill success.
	You know what?
	Hey, listen.
	Hey, here we go.
	Everyone give him a clap for Donald Trump.
	He hasn't done much this year.
	This is a good one.
	This tax bill is a good one.
	I would have liked to see the LLC, the stuff, the passive versus active income.
	This is a good one for him.
	Okay, right now we are going to go to segment number two, two of five of the tale of Ebenezer YouTube ghost of past, present, and future, teaching him of his covetous, censoring, throttling ways.
	Segment two here, I believe that we see Ebenezer YouTube, who just was met by the ghost of Clint Howard slash Susan Wojcicki, is awoken, awakened from his slumber, ghost of Christmas past, so we get to look on YouTube Passed.
	Enjoy.
	Susan was Jizki's ghost that bothered Ebenezer YouTube exceedingly.
	It was a restless night, and upon resolving that he could no more find sleep than go to heaven, the clock broke upon his listening ear.
	Oh, Holy Spirit, whose coming was foretold.
	I am.
	But you're just a girl.
	Oh, you're so sweet.
	I can remember more than 15 years.
	I'm the ghost of you two past.
	What business have you here then?
	Your welfare.
	And to help you stop being a dick.
	So take heed.
	Come.
	But spirit, I am mortal.
	Am I about to fall?
	Don't worry.
	A touch of my hand and you can fall as well.
	A touch of your hand?
	Well, for safety's sake.
	Cheers to that!
	Cheers!
	What are we, Spirit?
	We are back to 2005.
	The launch of YouTube.
	Oh yes, Spirit.
	2005.
	I was a boy here.
	A young man.
	Indeed.
	Everyone was having a great time.
	It didn't suck yet.
	Oh yes, Spirit.
	This was a joyous place.
	There are my first partners.
	Chad Hurley and Steve Chan.
	Oh, there's another cat video!
	I think there may be too many now.
	Too many?
	There can never be too many!
	Everything's allowed on the platform or it doesn't work!
	It's free and open!
	Cheers to that!
	Free and open Hamburg.
	How foolish we were, Spirit, if we had any idea back then what we know now.
	These are merely shadows of the past.
	They can't hear you.
	I see no fools before me.
	Only men who wanted a free and open platform.
	Besides, you were already bigger than Myspace.
	Myspace created their own downfall when they became a safe haven for pedophiles.
	If I'd have known back then what I know now, these people wouldn't have a job.
	Posting all these problematic videos.
	It's a miracle we didn't go belly up!
	Don't you see?
	This is the environment that made YouTube what it is.
	The freedom of it.
	The fairness.
	Hits.
	Likes.
	Comments.
	These were the things that made YouTube great and pushed the best people to the top.
	It was a meritocracy.
	Let me show you something.
	That's Sound Guy Cricket's place.
	And his, uh, his board.
	Tiny, um... Tiny, uh...
	Tiny Knock AJ.
	Tiny Knock AJ.
	That's it.
	I had it at the tip of the tongue.
	YouTube inspired this boy.
	If not for your platform, he'd still be a homeschool child with nothing more than Warren McGee and me videotapes.
	Instead, he learned how to livestream his video games.
	With your platform, he's been able to get billions of views and support the whole Cratchit family.
	I did not know the Cratchits were in such need, Spirit.
	A remarkable lad.
	And a gross violation of child labor law.
	What's going to say?
	Hey!
	Oh, father!
	Father, I'm so glad you're home.
	You worked so hard for such long hours.
	Oh, little one, you shouldn't worry about that.
	You just get your rest and take your meds.
	But father, I have over one million subscribers on YouTube.
	And YouTube says as the partnership program grows, it'll pay more and more as bigger sponsors come in.
	You won't have to work for Ebeneezer at all!
	Oh, Tiny Not Gay Jared!
	You're such a dreamer!
	You should be teaching us all!
	Oh, Father!
	There was another Christmas.
	Oh, remember Spirit?
	Please, do not show me that Christmas.
	This is Ebeneezer YouTube's viral video compilation.
	2000. History of dance.
	2008.
	Charlie bit my finger.
	I am.
	The best of gravity.
	Tap.
	Fall down the stairs.
	Oh, please, Brian.
	Maya, hey!
	My heart!
	Baby, eat the lemon.
	Friday!
	Friday!
	I call you Kale on Friday.
	I'm back.
	O spirit, why do you delight in tormenting me?
	These are the shadows of things that have been.
	They are what they are, do not worry.
	Leave me!
	Just as quickly as it appeared, the spirit faded from view, and Ebenezer U2 found himself once again in his chambers.
	Unsettled and unrested.
	Awaiting more apparitions to come.
	Here we go.
	Oh, yeah.
	Oh, God.
	Oh, hello!
	Nobody wants to see that.
	Oh, hello there!
	Oh, geez.
	Is that your name on your butt?
	Do you have your name?
	I do, I have my name emblazoned.
	Your name is on your ass!
	On your butt?
	I did it actually for the Covenant Church Christmas show.
	Remember that?
	Yes.
	Oh, those were the days.
	Hey, is Jared's name?
	No.
	Is it?
	No.
	Can you put... That's like the most concave arse I've ever seen.
	Hey, this is a beautiful arse.
	You don't even know.
	Oh my gosh.
	I've gotten some positive reinforcement from people that say I look just fine without a onesie.
	Thank you very much.
	All right.
	Well, that was, by the way, that's the least, I would say, elaborate of the segments, probably.
	Yeah, I think so.
	They get more and more elaborate as we go.
	That's fantastic, though.
	So, Blair White, actually.
	Blair White, thank you so much.
	B-dubs.
	Atmis Blair White, thank you for doing that.
	Great job.
	Yes.
	Very nice.
	Very nice.
	Hey, Prediction, what do you think happens with Ebeneezer YouTube?
	The person who gets it right gets a free shirt.
	By the way, at Courtney Scoffs is going to be the one following you, following up for any free merch that's given out.
	We already had the one who's going to get the free shirt.
	Nice.
	Call it.
	What do you think happens with Ebeneezer YouTube?
	Tweet us and use the hashtag at CrowderCNNLiveStream and we'll get you some free swag if you get it.
	Let's see.
	Let's go to Twitter and see.
	What do you think happens to Ebeneezer YouTube?
	It's still a commercial on CNN.
	Yeah.
	Stupid commercials.
	Who's our next guest, by the way?
	Okay, 11 o'clock, so in half an hour we'll have Stefan Molyneux.
	Very nice.
	Well, that's going to be fun.
	That'll be fun.
	Not really.
	I can't say the same line.
	I mean, it'll be fun to have Stefan Molyneux, but not this.
	Right, yeah.
	Haley, U.S.
	will still be— Okay, it's still talking about the Jews.
	All right, let's see.
	Or using international coalition.
	Great, now he's twerking.
	I would rather drag my dick through a mild broken glass than watch six hours of CNN straight.
	Praise be to Mug Club.
	There we go.
	Thank you very much.
	Thank you very much.
	Looks like S. Crowder is channeling Michael Caine on YouTube.
	Probably there's some of that.
	I mean, it's a Cockney accent.
	After a year of listening to S. Crowder finally whining, I've finally joined LWC Mug Club during hashtag Crowder CNN livestream.
	That's George Washington, Gdubs underscore 59.
	Thank you so much!
	Every time you join Mug Club, Mohamed gets an unwanted handy in hell.
	So, we, um, keep it trending.
	Hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.
	We want to gain thousands of Mug Club subscribers just so we can do more of this, so we can do more undercover Antifa, so we can do more Change My Minds.
	One thing, and I would love it if you do, this is just a moment of sincerity here.
	Tweet me at AskCrowder, use the hashtag, For people who've joined the Mug Club, do you feel like you've gotten your money's worth?
	We've tried really hard.
	Jared knows this.
	Not that Jared knows this.
	He knows that we've been working ourselves to the bone.
	We've tried really hard to make sure you got your money's worth.
	We've tried really hard to not be those guys who take your money for a pay subscription service.
	And then it's the same thing.
	Yeah.
	And so what we've tried to do is we've tried to upgrade the studio.
	We've tried to increase the quality of content.
	We've tried to increase the influence, you know, the stings that we've done.
	Undercover Antifa, that had 14 million plays.
	Wow.
	Changed my mind itself.
	Can you imagine trying to do Antifa video when it's just you and I in the bedroom?
	Imagine trying to do it when it was just you and I. We would have never been able to do... The person was arrested.
	We would have never been able to do Undercover Antifa.
	We would have never been able to do Change My Mind where we go down on the street.
	So what we really have tried to do is take Mug Club and grow and give you guys your money.
	And invest it in it.
	And we've never taken away from you two.
	No.
	YouTube is where we... This is why we're here.
	We're here to stay.
	We love the people on YouTube who've made it happen.
	We know some of you can't afford to support us, but genuinely, do you feel you've gotten your money's worth?
	And tweet me, at S. Crowder, maybe at NotGayJared, with hashtag CrowderCNN livestream, what you would like to see.
	You know, you're the investors in Mug Club.
	You're effectively the equity shareholders.
	If you go away, so does all of this.
	We can't do it without you.
	Do you feel like you've gotten your money's worth?
	And what can we add?
	What can we change?
	Let's go to Twitter here.
	Wow.
	You have a lot more Twitter stuff going on than I usually do.
	You've 100- Thank you, Colano says you 100% delivered money well spent.
	There we go.
	I think you're gonna see a lot of that.
	I think you deliver a lot of content for the money.
	And you know, you know, you get a lot of other stuff too from the other people.
	Uh-oh!
	Look at this!
	Get us a long shot!
	Look at Hopper!
	Look at Hopper with the Christmas lights!
	Hopper, the white supremacist reindeer!
	Watch, people are going to say Stephen has a white supremacist dog.
	He does.
	He's so white.
	True to the oldie, black elf.
	Netanyahu rejects vote, calls UN a house of lies.
	The only thing that could have been better is if Netanyahu gently rested his balls on their face.
	Netanyahu said, let me tell you how Israel feels about UN.
	This dog is like the most lovable dog in the world.
	Look at this.
	Look at Hopper.
	Look at him.
	He'll kill people if they try to break in.
	He's got his light up.
	Hopper's the best dog there is.
	Hopper's also much bigger than that camera.
	No, yeah.
	I'm a large individual and he's pretty large even compared to me.
	Everything is skewed.
	Do you realize that?
	Because we're all so big.
	It's true.
	You don't understand.
	We need like some kind of...
	thing in the background like it's 7-eleven that tells the height or something like that someone said watching every day youtube dies because mug club provides that's what they think about uh trending number eight um maybe not ask you to guess the ending with 12 hours to go someone said scrooge gets throttled and then jihadi bond comes in and beats the ghost of christmas past this is from luke birds with the line of the day keep going to sven's uh just his youtube stream Sven, you can bring up some of the best tweets, and you can even tell me what tweets you think are really good, okay?
	Because I'm going here, and we were originally able to, me, send you my screen.
	Technical difficulties were rolling on the fly, and Sven Computer is helping us, and Reg, and the team is helping to make it happen.
	Someone just said you're at number three right now.
	That's pretty good.
	I don't think we are, though.
	I need to move my phone, Hopper.
	See, I'm not on my trend anywhere, so I don't know, but I think maybe people have it set to you.
	I have it set to world.
	That's probably why.
	Alana Workman says, I definitely feel like I've gotten... Sorry, people, we're just... It's a commercial on there, so it's commercial to us.
	I definitely feel I've gotten more than my money's worth I watch every day, and you love the addition of the Change My Mind segments.
	Thank you so much.
	Money well spent from Varick Bridges.
	Thank you, guys.
	I joined Mug Club when DailyWits first started, and all I got was some lousy mug.
	I'm set to stay trends and number 10 still.
	Still in the top trends.
	There you go.
	Maybe they have a US trends.
	I don't know.
	It's curated based on people have different trends.
	It's kind of different, right?
	Yeah.
	Don't worry.
	Tonight is prime time.
	That's when it gets, unless there's a terrorist attack, in which case that'll become the number one trend and CNN will say, there's nothing to see here.
	So, uh, I don't know what the person did it for.
	Jason Lisenby says, I say Ebenezer buys into Mug Club.
	Is that what you think happens?
	Ooh, that's a good plot twist.
	Let's see.
	We better get that three-year renewal gift announcement.
	I didn't even know there was a three-year renewal.
	Here's what I know.
	If we do offer a three-year renewal, it will come with a very serious gift.
	I don't know what it'll be.
	But for people who want to do a three-year renewal, thank you so much for your faith in us.
	If we do that, maybe it could be an autographed shirt, maybe it could be a handmade mug.
	It could be a nude of I'm not gay Jared.
	It could be a nude, I'm not gay Jared.
	But we'll do something really cool for three-year renewals.
	I can't believe we didn't think of that.
	Maybe some hand-drawn Mohammed pictures.
	Maybe.
	I'm overwhelmed that people want to join for three years.
	Thank you so much for having the faith in us and the whole team.
	At Sven Computer is his Twitter.
	At Sven Computer, beep beep.
	We actually got someone who even sent us a purchase confirmation from CRTV, if you want to bring that up.
	Alright, let me see it.
	Purchase confirmation, here we go!
	Every time someone joins Mug Club, Blitzer makes a visit to hell to ask Mohamed what he should say that night in the show.
	Well, by the end of 16 hours, these words, they're not even analogies.
	Just mental pictures are going to be wildly inane.
	Now I understand why Eskrider hasn't done a shout out for me in my BF.
	It's because I'm Latina and he is a white supremacist at the Scarlet Fox.
	No, thank you so much, Scarlet Fox.
	Trending 12 here in Canada.
	Did you get the thing?
	Can we run the video that Darren sent you?
	There was a video run in Vermont about us and our tranny Sting.
	Can you get it?
	I'll find it.
	Because apparently they said we removed the video.
	And I don't think we did remove the video.
	No.
	You wouldn't do that.
	I don't think it's been removed.
	A McGee and me reference.
	Crowder's CNN livestream has just won today.
	Thank you so much.
	The money is well worth it.
	Watching in school.
	I don't know how I haven't been yelled at yet.
	Grade 11, by the way.
	That's awesome.
	You must be Canadian.
	If you say grade 11, what do you Americans say?
	11th grade.
	11th grade, yeah.
	Or junior.
	That's a Canadian thing.
	Yeah.
	So we probably, in the future, should probably just do... So this person has us at number two.
	Number two is good.
	So it must be depending on state.
	What's number one?
	Number one is winter solstice, we were number two, and then uranium one's number three, and CNN's not talking about any of them!
	It's because they're on top of it.
	Well maybe the winter solstice.
	It's Christmas.
	Because you know in the ratings room, CNN, Jeff Zucker is singing, don't let the sun go down on... and it went down.
	It already went down.
	It's done.
	We're dead.
	We're done.
	Yes, at Sven Computer.
	Another confirmation here if you want to bring it up.
	Another confirmation.
	Thank you so much for joining Mug Club.
	Another Purpose Responders.
	Thank you so much.
	Every time someone joins Mug Club, Mohammed in hell gets raped.
	That's just the most blatant one.
	And then the other ones will... Here's what... I know people are saying, you joke a lot.
	But it's not a joke.
	I think Mohammed is in hell.
	Oh no, he is definitely in hell.
	There's absolutely no question about it.
	Hey, I'm just, I mean, it's not my fault.
	You got a problem, take it up with God.
	It's not me.
	Another one.
	Subscription boy.
	Howdy.
	This is thanks for the student discount for today.
	Hey, there we go.
	Pepper.
	Thank you so much, Pepper.
	We have too many coming in right now.
	So if it's intermittent, pick your joining wisely.
	We can't make a whole show about you joining, but we very much appreciate it.
	Okay, let's bring up some CNN.
	Oh, they're talking about don't fire Robert Mueller.
	Okay, more Russia.
	Is it me, or did Donald Trump not say yesterday that he wasn't firing Mueller?
	A part of me wonders as I keep saying this, because I know Donald Trump, the reverse psychology works, would like, don't fire Mueller.
	He's like, I'm not gonna fire Mueller.
	Like, don't fire Mueller.
	I already told you I'm not gonna fire Mueller.
	Like, don't fire Mueller.
	You know what?
	I'm gonna fire him.
	Do you think that's what they're trying to do a little bit?
	Maybe a little bit.
	They're going to try to back him into a corner a little bit on it.
	Maybe he wants to fire Mueller, and they know, and they're going out just trying to see if they can get ahead of it.
	I'm trying to see here.
	So when they actually do do it.
	Hold on a second.
	What is this with the Mueller deal?
	There's no—I mean, yeah.
	Exactly.
	He said... You know why they're bringing that up?
	So that you can put on the screen, Russian investigation.
	I have it from Washington Post.
	Yeah, but it's so you can put on the screen, Russian investigation in Trump.
	You want to have that every single time.
	Good point.
	Guys, I'm not gonna lie, I'm tired.
	You gotta take a break.
	I can't!
	I can take five minutes break.
	I think so!
	I think we should keep going.
	No, no, no, no.
	I'm gonna keep going.
	I'm gonna keep going through and then for lunch maybe someone else can help.
	Who do you want to fill in and host while I'm gone?
	Tweet me at S Crowder with Crowder.
	Hashtag Crowder CNN livestream.
	Because I'm not gonna lie, 60 hours is long.
	Not in a onesie.
	Not in a onesie.
	I think I miscalculated my level of energy.
	I think anybody, I mean, you're having to watch like a soul-sucking channel.
	Well, also with the lights, it's kind of hard.
	Well, yeah, you need to take a break every once in a while.
	I don't need a break now.
	Every once in a while.
	Don't be a martyr.
	Don't you be a martyr.
	Don't you do it, Steven!
	By the way, for people who are like, hey, you called him a pussy, are you a Christian?
	Let me just take this time here to say thank you to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ for A, keeping us alive and providing us for the opportunity and the birth of Not the birth of the United States, but being born in the United States and we're able to do this.
	Christian, thank you, Jesus.
	Happy birthday, baby Jesus, even though that's probably not when you were born, but it's when they celebrated the winter solstice.
	I get it.
	Who cares?
	Secular trees, Christmas, whatever.
	We took the holiday back.
	Yep.
	Christian, thank you.
	And if you're an atheist, thank you so much for being with us.
	And we don't care.
	Sven Computer is an agnostic.
	He just got his first Bible not that long ago.
	That's true.
	Whether he wanted it or not.
	Thank you so much.
	But do not use us as examples.
	Just like, don't look to Muslims as examples for Islam, look to Muhammad.
	Don't look to us, because we make mistakes, look to Christ.
	He's the example.
	Not me when I say Muhammad's getting raped in hell.
	Honestly, I don't know how bad Jesus would be about that.
	You're accurate.
	I don't know about the rape.
	Well, everything else is true.
	Yes, at Sven Computer.
	I was actually just about to bring it up.
	Someone just said that on Twitter.
	You're joining my club around 10.15.
	I heard when you join, an unsaid person gets raped by Bob Hicks' foot in hell.
	And also, two other people joined.
	All right, two people joined.
	Give us their names, Sven.
	Aaron Bauer and D. Krotzkiet.
	Thank you so much.
	Every time you join, Is Yasser Arafat dead?
	Yes.
	Yeah, I believe so.
	Every time you join, Yasser Arafat gets a pineapple jammed up his lower intestine.
	Do you think Mohammed's like, huh, this is a busier day than normal?
	Why don't you take the reins for one second?
	I have to answer.
	This is not YouTube, so we can't pull in the video.
	Okay.
	But, Edward, can you pull down CNN for a second and bring up the Bumps track?
	Let's play the audio from this.
	This comes from...
	WCAX Channel 3, it looks like an NBC affiliate, about our video in Burlington, Vermont.
	So this is the audio on this.
	Perfect.
	I can't hear it.
	During a private support group health care meeting in October, the Vermont Pride Center got some unwanted and unknown guests.
	So we were just trying to help them, not realizing that at the same time they had a whole new agenda that we hadn't experienced before.
	Right-wing activist Stephen Crowder runs a website and podcast.
	He and three people associated with him pose as a family from Montreal trying to get more information on health care for their trans son.
	They filmed the entire meeting with hidden cameras.
	Asking questions about getting free health care.
	To have folks outside of the community, let alone coming in with malnutrition, to expose this conspiracy of trans folks really trying to access services, is absolutely absurd.
	The meeting happened months ago, but the video was just recently discovered.
	Now the Pride Center and its members say they are ready to move forward.
	IT WAS A TOWN HALL!
	OFEN'S IN A TOWN HALL!
	Hey, Ben, go to the research docs and bring up the Facebook event, or Reg, if you can text it to me, their Facebook event, it was the trans town hall, what the hell, Ken?
	Bring it up for us, okay?
	Bring it up for us, let us know when you have it.
	These transgender people are complaining.
	It was a public town hall in Vermont, which is also a single-party consent state.
	They're just mad that people are catching them.
	Well, and they didn't even address any of the problems that you exposed.
	They're just pissed that somebody came in and exposed it.
	It's like, oh, this is a breach of privacy.
	The sign was not there.
	No, it has been since added.
	By the way, by the way, if it's a public town hall, you cannot say no recording.
	Right.
	Sorry, guys.
	Doesn't matter.
	Just like if you're in a state that's a single party consent state, you can't say, hey, you're not allowed to record this phone call.
	They can record the phone call.
	Yeah.
	If you show up to a public protest and say, hey, you can't record me, guess what?
	They can record you.
	Well, and isn't it funny that every single time that something comes out of recording or anything else, they never address the issue.
	Hold on one second.
	Hold that.
	Let's bring up CNN because they're speaking right now on the tax cut bill.
	Let's bring this up.
	Hold that thought.
	With a minimal footprint, something that Alaskans have been fighting for for 38 years.
	You don't give up on something when the cause is right, when you know you have so much to contribute.
	So to colleagues who have stood with us as the Alaska delegation, with those who have stood with Alaska, with those who have stood for American energy production, Today is indeed a bright, bright day.
	We thank you for your continued support.
	Alaska will make you proud.
	Yeah, sorry, people can hear Gerald.
	He's like, ah, I'm leaving.
	Yeah, it's fine.
	You're not expected to stay here.
	Thank you, though.
	All right.
	For my two fans, they'll know.
	Hey, can I search our research document in the document, or do I just have to search?
	I think you search it in the document.
	There's a little spot at the very top.
	It doesn't show up for me.
	It's loading.
	Oh, it's loading.
	The dots on the top, maybe?
	All right.
	You got it, Sven.
	You have the trans town.
	Sven, can you come here?
	dots on the top maybe for brightness in our public life if you think about the impact all right do you got it sven you have the trans town what the hall yeah how do i uh sven can you come here spend the computer that means you're having all right i'm gonna make the point that i was gonna Every single time one of these things come out, like the Hillary Clinton stuff, all the emails and stuff like that that come out about the document dumps that we've had, right?
	Nobody talks about, you're just pissed off because somebody found out you were doing something wrong or something stupid or something people wouldn't support.
	All you do is say, well, you invaded our privacy or you did it the wrong way to find it.
	How is that the thing?
	And if something comes out on Republicans every single time, it focuses on the issue and not the way people got the documents.
	I don't understand how this is even a thing still.
	How does that defense still work?
	Like, how stupid are people for them to go, yeah, you're right, they shouldn't have been recording.
	Forget the fact that you're trying to give people, you know, access to healthcare that they shouldn't have in the first place and encouraging them to do things that are scientifically proven to be bad for them and increase suicide rates and everything else.
	They were just mad that someone leaked it.
	They weren't mad about the content of the leaks.
	Yeah.
	At all.
	Look, if you don't want people to be mad at you for being jerks to heads of other states in emails, don't be jerks to heads of other states in emails.
	That's one way to do it.
	All right?
	Then nobody can ever find an email where you said it.
	How many times does this have to happen before people take precautions?
	Hold on one second here.
	I'm trying to find our researcher in the tax bill.
	We did a video on the whole tax bill, but we didn't.
	I don't know why it's not here.
	Do you have the overlay on the town hall there, Sven?
	Yes, we do.
	Okay, Sven Computer, let's bring up the overlay.
	So just so you know, this is what you just heard.
	They're complaining in Vermont that we went into a private gathering.
	No, look.
	It is a trans... Read it.
	Read it.
	Read it.
	Bring it up.
	What the healthcare trans town hall.
	What the healthcare trans town hall open to the public.
	You tell me that's a private meeting.
	We went to a town hall where they discussed how to lie to health insurance.
	to get sex change operations paid for and it went all the way as far as electrolysis and the media like we just showed you reports that we went in and we illegally recorded them and that the video we took we didn't take down the video that's I'm trying to claim a victory you know what a victory is we told Shia LaBeouf and his people to piss off and guess what they did you know what a real victory is Facebook was throttling us and what was actually announced in the end gadget article and we said a lot of court that's an actual victory You know what a real victory is?
	Mashable came after us with some false, stupid, bullshit copyright claim, and we told them we're gonna counter-file, and so they dropped it.
	That's a real victory.
	They're trying to claim a victory, saying they committed an illegal act, and because we went after them, they removed the video.
	We didn't commit an illegal act, and we didn't remove the video.
	Piss off, you're just mentally deranged trannies who are absolutely upset that you were made to look like the fools that you are.
	And by the way, we just had a tranny play Ghost of Christmas Past.
	Okay.
	Blair White came in.
	Equal opportunity.
	Blair White thinks that it is child abuse for what you people want to do to put your kids on puberty blockers.
	We didn't break the law.
	We're not backing down.
	Our video is not going anywhere.
	And you can piss off.
	And here's the thing.
	YouTube, you need to start playing by the law.
	YouTube, one thing they do, they don't care if it's a single party consent state.
	Doesn't happen.
	might try and take our video off of YouTube.
	But guess what?
	You join Mug Club, you still get to see the full damn episode on Mug Club.
	We'll put it up everywhere we possibly can because YouTube doesn't even play by their own rules.
	We've gotten signed releases on YouTube interviewing people and they've changed their mind and YouTube has asked us to blur their faces out, which we did, but that's not the law.
	So shut up.
	Liberals try to act like they care about rule of law.
	You don't.
	Trannies in Vermont, you lost.
	We didn't break the law.
	The video's still up.
	And you need some counseling.
	Sven Computer, yeah.
	I have just a bug of people who joined and sent their confirmation, so if you just want to read their names.
	Okay, let's just hold on.
	We'll read some mug clubs and then we'll get to the tax bill.
	Yeah, so we got Brian Littlejohn right here.
	Then we have Soler Jonathan Cantal.
	This guy doesn't have a legitimate name.
	Nice.
	Alright, keep reading them.
	Then we have at FoldMeJelly.
	Also, just subscribe.
	Interesting names.
	Khalil Alusta.
	There we go.
	Here's the tuna can right here.
	Noah, and then this guy said if you can pronounce his name correctly, instead of just the one he subscribed for now, he's going to subscribe for three years.
	What's his name?
	It should be on your screen right now.
	No, no, I can't see it.
	Is it Michelle?
	Is it that one?
	Yeah.
	Or Michael?
	Let me guess.
	Michelle DeFranco.
	Okay, maybe it's subscribe for three years.
	Or Mikael DeFranco.
	Mikael?
	I don't know, because it can't be the obvious answer.
	It could be Michael or Michelle or whatever, yeah.
	It could be Michael, that could be... Anyway, hey, thank you so much for joining.
	Every time you join Mug Club, some stupid tranny tries to threaten us with a BS lawsuit that we beat.
	You like beating trannies?
	See, I would take this person over the UN ambassador.
	Other than Nikki Haley.
	Really?
	Yeah, absolutely, 100%.
	Really?
	You don't like Nikki Haley?
	I didn't say that.
	I said I would take this person before.
	That surprises me.
	No.
	Keep it talking.
	Keep it talking.
	I have some work to do here.
	You do some work.
	She, well, maybe.
	I don't know.
	That's harsh to say, though.
	I think the men behind him, or her, have had more work done.
	Let's be honest.
	Is that the Wizard of Oz?
	He's pulled the curtain.
	Looks like they erected Robert Byrd from the dead.
	Yeah.
	We're gonna put you in the front row, but no one's gonna see you because you're four feet eleven.
	By the way, can I take this opportunity to complain?
	Oh god, hold on, breaking news.
	Nunez, it's not a secret, we are investigating the DOJ.
	Of course it's not!
	How is that breaking news?
	It's, it's, this is CNN!
	Everything's breaking news.
	Breaking news, the sun is out today.
	Here is some actual breaking news.
	Apple, you suck.
	Here's the thing.
	I have a new iPad Pro, so I'm trying to save money here, okay?
	Oh, it doesn't matter if I go close up.
	I thought you had a close shot.
	The only available keyboard is this thing from Apple right now, and it sucks, and it just stops working, and Apple makes it and charges $150.
	Look at this.
	What is this?
	It's like origami paper mache.
	I've had kids in preschool make paper mache masks that are more durable, and it just stopped working here.
	Apple.
	This is the third one!
	Really?
	All right.
	Hopefully it comes back for you.
	This is what happens when you watch CNN for... Has it been... It hasn't even been three hours?
	No, it has.
	It has.
	What time do you guys start?
	6.30?
	No, no, we start at 8 Eastern, 7.
	7, 7, okay, yeah.
	Okay, let's see if this works.
	Yeah, you're getting... Okay, I got it working.
	All I have to do is completely disconnect the state-of-the-art Apple keyboard so that I can reconnect it to the state-of-the-art iPad.
	And then you throttle my phone because it's not an iPhone X. All these Samsung people out there are like, damn right, preach it, brother!
	All these Google phones, all these other ones, they're like, yeah, Apple sucks.
	I don't know.
	By the way, Apple's just fine, by the way.
	Go back.
	Hashtag Crowder CNN Livestream.
	They supported net neutrality along with YouTube and Facebook and Twitter.
	So believe your stupid YouTube and Twitter stars telling you you have to support net neutrality.
	Because guess what?
	You're locking arms with Tim Cook.
	He's not affected.
	He can throttle your old little phone.
	Yeah, no, we believe they're altruistic.
	These companies are supporting a little guy.
	Dumbass.
	Merry Christmas.
	Tim Cook, screw you!
	Enjoy your broken foreheads.
	What is this commercial for?
	This looks ridiculous.
	Exploring a different America.
	States of change.
	And they were showing all the people, they were trying to show Trump as the bashers.
	I've noticed an uptick in those, like these news channels putting out these heartfelt TV shows like that.
	Yeah.
	So speaking of which, I serve at a church and we have a great questions class where you can ask any question that you want, no matter what it is.
	And there was a girl in college who came and said, do you think it's a violation of the separation of church and state for Donald Trump to tweet out that we serve God, not government?
	And remember how we talk about all the time how kids are getting indoctrinated?
	She said, everybody that was on campus during the election told me that they were glad that I was, that I should be glad I was not there because it was just the most toxic place ever.
	And they're just getting indoctrinated over and over and over.
	And if you think CNN is bad, college professors are worse.
	College campuses are worse because when I told her that it's not state being out of church, being out of business as state, but state out of church, she looked at me like she had never heard that before.
	And she had never heard the backstory of any of it before.
	Yeah.
	And she's fighting to try to kind of maintain some kind of belief on a college campus and it's almost impossible.
	So I like that you guys are going on to the college campus.
	You should probably... I wonder if Hopper Wishbone needs to debunk some separation of church and statesmen.
	Yeah.
	He might need to do that.
	We just haven't had the time.
	We need to make some more hires.
	Yeah.
	I think Sven Computer has some more overlays, you were saying.
	Yes, BB.
	If you want to go into the tax stuff.
	Okay, let's go into the tax stuff.
	So this is now what we're on after the Trump-Russia deal.
	They're talking about the tax bill.
	We've talked about this before.
	They go into where they talk about it's the biggest, the biggest beneficiaries are corporations.
	There's a private jet tax.
	No, there isn't a private jet tax, by the way.
	It's just so that private flights aren't charged the same as a commercial tax.
	Right.
	Just picture that right now.
	Should you pay the same kind of a tax as Amtrak because you drive your stupid little Prius very poorly like a shopping cart?
	No.
	Even I would support you with that.
	There is no private jet.
	There's the golf course tax break, right?
	That's completely BS.
	It's about land conservation.
	Golf courses happen to be one of them.
	There's the death tax.
	We've been talking about this.
	The biggest beneficiaries.
	Shouldn't you be able to give your kids whatever you want?
	This is one of those things to me that's like, whoa, why should someone be able to give more than 11 million dollars to their kids who didn't earn it?
	Why should you be able to tell me one way or the other?
	Well, hold on a second.
	It's even simpler.
	Neither did you.
	Yeah.
	You didn't earn it.
	I just find it so funny that all of a sudden liberals care, the progressives care about who's earned it.
	Who's earning something.
	Yeah.
	The death tax.
	We're taxing money that isn't earned from those kids.
	So Nancy Pelosi worked for that?
	Yeah, exactly.
	So Debbie Wasserman Schultz can do it?
	Well, we created the system.
	Chuck Schumer told that field?
	Sorry, that's not how it works.
	Well, essentially what you're doing, the reason that some of the rich people are getting a benefit from this is you are repealing stuff that was stealing from people that made money.
	Right.
	You should feel good that you're not stealing quite as much and not being quite as much of a jerk to people that are out there making money that, by the way, are the ones that employ you and give you the money to go buy your kids Christmas gifts for Monday.
	Well, they also have been talking about, they've talked about this before, they talked about today, about Obamacare premiums, that 9 million did to anything because of the chip thing, which is false.
	That's not true.
	But then even the premiums going up 10% in the next decade under Obamacare, what is it?
	Mine went up 300%.
	It went up 105% on average.
	Yeah.
	By the way, that average includes people getting the subsidized.
	That's why it's kind of like when people say... Even with the subsidies going up, they're like, thank you very much, Obama.
	To give you an example, the 105% rise.
	I had a doctor.
	I have hypothyroidism.
	So when people are fat and they're like, it's glandular, I actually have that.
	I have to take a pill for hypothyroidism every day.
	It doesn't count for his butt, though.
	No, it doesn't count for my ass.
	The pill does everything, but... That's just the... Dippin' dots.
	Yeah.
	So, oh my gosh, look at this.
	Look at this, she's an angry... She is.
	She's an angry lesbian on CNN.
	Ooh.
	That's a bad... That's a bad hairdo, too.
	I'm sorry.
	What you talkin' about, Nunez?
	Okay, let me go back to my story.
	She looks like everyone that's ever worked at the, uh, at the, uh, like the arenas.
	Directing to your seats.
	Yes!
	Yes, but they're nice people, so stop.
	You in the nosebleed!
	No, I'm not, I have a... You in the nosebleed!
	I have a court side.
	And of course, by the way, when we're talking about reducing corporate tax rate, we have the highest corporate tax rate of any industrialized economy.
	In the world.
	What was I saying before that?
	Okay.
	So here's an example.
	So I have hypothyroidism, right?
	Yes.
	My thyroid was over whatever it is, a TSH or T3.
	It was over five.
	Like the range, the healthy range is about like one to five.
	And mine was over that range.
	I went to my doctor and said, well, it doesn't seem like I'm that far over the range.
	Like I'm only like closer to six.
	And he was like, well, hold on a second.
	That's a really big number.
	One is a big number there.
	He said, and here's the deal.
	That hypothyroid range includes that ideal thyroid, that thyroid range that doctors use includes people with hypothyroidism and diabetes and people who have thyroid disease.
	He goes, when you eliminate from the population, people with thyroid disease, that range goes from one to five to about 0.5 Yeah.
	He goes, I'd like to have you under two, ideally.
	I'd like to have you in that 1.5 range as far as TSH.
	Yeah.
	So he said there's a range including people who have diseases or you use the range of people who are healthy.
	So when we say that under Obamacare, premiums have gone up 105%, that includes the totality, just overall premiums, including people who all of a sudden got subsidized health care.
	Right.
	So you remove the people who are getting subsidized healthcare who aren't working, who are getting it from you, and that's why you have a 300% increase.
	Right.
	And we had over a 100-something percent increase.
	I was paying $98 a month, and it was a $3,500 deductible, and I had a fully HSA-qualified plan, and I fully funded my HSA, I had AFLAC just in case I had an accident, and I had short-term disability at work.
	I injured my back, had a $150,000 surgery, I was out of pocket zero dollars.
	I used my HSA account, I used short-term disability, and I used AFLAC and my insurance.
	I had zero dollars come from my day-to-day spending budget to take care of that.
	That's exactly how you want people like me to be able to do that.
	And now my plan is $300 for a $6,000 deductible.
	And it has almost none of the benefits that I need.
	I go in to get stuff done and it's terrible.
	Hold on a second.
	Warning.
	Firing Mueller would be crossing red line.
	Red lines don't matter!
	Former National Press Secretary Bernie, yeah, there are three things there.
	A. Trump said he's not going to be firing Mueller.
	B. She was a campaign advisor for Bernie Sanders.
	And C. Democrats don't mean red lines.
	So shut the hell up, you angry, angry, warriors-looking lesbian.
	A little militant there, yeah.
	I know, she's probably not.
	She looks like the lady from Warriors who was talking into the microphone.
	She looks like the Amazon who didn't make the Wonder Woman cut.
	By the way, for your rant on Apple, I'm getting some Team, what is it?
	What is the Android?
	Yeah, Team Android stuff, thanks a lot.
	No, Brittany, no.
	Team Android does not work.
	Okay.
	I don't know who Brittany is.
	Apple.
	That's what I got for the last one.
	I don't think people really care what you're talking about.
	I'm just saying, you ranted on Apple.
	What about, well, you're not Team Android.
	No, I'm saying now I'm getting that in my, because I stood up for Apple.
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Now people are hating me for it.
	Listen, the only reason I'm, it's like, I'm a battered wife.
	I'm not gonna lie, like, I hate This, okay?
	But you can't let it go.
	I hate that I've paid for iTunes.
	Now I don't need it.
	You just need Spotify, right?
	A monthly.
	I hate that I've paid for things on here.
	I hate that I have things synced on my iPhone.
	I hate that I have a Mac, an iMac.
	There goes that Apple sponsorship.
	I absolutely hate it, but I'm like a battered wife.
	We're like, you'd be nothing without me.
	I'm like, no, I'm going to leave.
	I'm going to leave.
	You can't make it out there without me.
	No one will love you, bitch.
	And I'm like, I'll take the iPhone 10.
	Yes, I'll take the upcharge.
	I'm not gonna lie, I have a battered wife.
	I'll take the iWatch too, thank you.
	I don't want the iWatch.
	You bought it as a sleep pad and you wore?
	Well, I could use that.
	I really need to check up on my REM sleep.
	How much is it?
	$9,000?
	I'll take out a loan.
	I think that's most people with Apple.
	Well, I think you commit to one, and then you just stick with it no matter what.
	Right?
	Yeah.
	Because you know how to use it, you're comfortable with it, you've got all the stuff you want on it, and really, for the stuff most people do, it doesn't matter.
	Oh, okay, bring this up, Sven.
	Bring the overlay up.
	Simone D. Sanders, do you have the overlay?
	This is the lady right now on CNN.
	This is her overlay, Sven.
	Overlay, Sven.
	Go, go, go.
	We're writing to Nick to step in a second, so we're switching.
	Oh, okay.
	We'll bring it up later.
	We'll bring it up later.
	Well, her Twitter says, rabid feminist.
	I don't know if she's a lesbian, but she's dipped her toe in the water.
	Is it warm?
	I think it's only room temperature.
	Maybe I'll be a tranny.
	Wow, this guy looks weird.
	Who says rabid feminist?
	Did she not realize that sounds more pejorative than she means?
	I don't know.
	Oh, here we have video.
	If we could bring in video, she straight up mocked that Trump's.
	Remember the Trump supporter who was beaten up by the mob?
	Yeah.
	That's that lady.
	She's still on there.
	She was just like, oh, my goodness, poor white people.
	That's who she is.
	I knew I didn't like her for a reason.
	I don't feel bad about anything I said.
	You need to trust your gut.
	Everyone in this room, fire your cannons at her like you're someone who just got a letter of mark and reprisal from Madison.
	Just aim it at her.
	Boom!
	Boom!
	Do you have any idea what would happen if I were on air and a black person were beaten up by a Trump supporter and I was like, oh my god, Paul Negroes!
	Do you have any idea what would happen?
	Rightfully be fired.
	And then I'd have to do something like this.
	MugClub, thank you for joining.
	This is the wonder of it.
	I can only be fired by you people.
	If I say something that is so offensive, That is so off the beam.
	You let me know, and you stop.
	No one can stop us.
	No one can stop us from livestreaming CNN.
	No one can stop us from going into tranny town halls.
	No one can stop us from going undercover Antifa.
	And when the media says there's no story here, even though someone was arrested from Not Gay Jared, who bravely went into undercover Antifa, guess what?
	We can do it.
	And no one can stop us.
	I think we should lay his life on the line more often.
	I think we should too.
	And you know what a big thing our sponsorship with Walther by the way yeah by the way this is I'll take this out appendix carry just so just so you can see okay hold on check it make sure it's cleared and right yeah pointed at me to check thanks yeah you're good clear so just say this is clear okay there's nothing in the magazine this is the PPS all right this is the Walther PPS that I have in my chastity belt right now it's an amazing carry gun now the reason I say this is Walther came on as a sponsor a big part of it is because you joined A big part is because they see how many people have joined up on Mug Club and supported us.
	And so they realize, you know what?
	We don't need to be the sponsor who tepidly joins and then we're afraid and we pull out because we already know what they're about and we know that there are people out there who are willing to support them.
	So if we get sponsors, we're not beholden to sponsors being upset over us offending somebody.
	Absolutely.
	It gives you complete freedom.
	I met John King once, by accident.
	He was actually very nice.
	Okay.
	He was maybe nice.
	He was very nice.
	He was, he was a wide body.
	Uh, it looks like he's lost weight.
	You can already see like, look, if he doesn't have shoulder pads on his suit, he's a little wide.
	It's just, it's all hip.
	Like an old Matt Iseman.
	You see that?
	I can see it.
	Maybe.
	I think Matt Iseman's on the show today, by the way.
	Really?
	Um, hold on a second.
	Any other hit points?
	Dramatic showdown.
	Dramatic showdown.
	I love this.
	You went to vote on Trump's... Who cares?
	Let him do whatever the hell he wants.
	This has been, every president has said, Israel's capital is Jerusalem.
	What was the resolution?
	Was it like 300-something?
	It was like a blowout.
	If you could ever have a blowout, it was a blowout in the Senate, it was a blowout in the House.
	I think it was 90-something in the Senate.
	It was over 400, I believe, in the House.
	Yeah, I'm sure I have this somewhere.
	It's somewhere down there.
	Either way, it was passed in 1995.
	The red line was 1999.
	We started red lines and not following them a long time ago, apparently.
	And then every candidate came through, every president who ever gave a speech to AIPAC said, Jerusalem is your capital, right?
	We're not moving it, right guys?
	We're not moving it.
	Okay, we got to sign that document twice a year to push it back to where we're not moving.
	But every one of us is going to say that your capital is Jerusalem.
	Okay, controversial Jerusalem.
	So, an FU if you don't like it, okay?
	That's what we should be telling the world right now.
	Alright, can someone guess, can someone guess, so there was, this was in 1995, Congress passed the Jerusalem Embassy Act.
	See this right here.
	Roy Morfow.
	Okay.
	Controversial Jerusalem.
	So, and F you if you don't like it, okay?
	That's what we should be telling the world right now.
	All right.
	Can someone guess?
	Can someone guess?
	So there was.
	So this is 1995.
	Congress passed the Jerusalem Embassy Act.
	They've never mentioned this on CNN yet.
	No.
	Okay?
	Never once mentioned it.
	You know what?
	Let's add this to the CNN hit list, either Sven or Reg.
	1995, Congress passed the Jerusalem Embassy Act for relocating the embassy of the United States to Jerusalem and recognizing it as Israel's capital.
	Okay?
	And the recognition was supposed to occur.
	I know you have to get going, Joe.
	Do you want to go?
	No, I'm good.
	I'm good.
	No later than May 31st, 1999.
	It passed 95 to 3 in the Senate.
	93 to 5.
	93 to 5.
	passed 95 to 3 in the Senate. 93 to 5. 93 to 5.
	Yep.
	Yep. 374 to 37 in the House.
	That means a bunch of pansies didn't vote, by the way.
	So this is... Right.
	It means... About a hundred people.
	It means if it had occurred under Obama's tenure, which it didn't, he'd just be sitting like, uh, President!
	It's like, we know you're here!
	We know you're here!
	I'm running for President!
	Yeah, we know you're here, but do you have a vote?
	President!
	No, no, we know you're here, do you have a penis, sir?
	Do you have a spine?
	Eh, present.
	93 to 5, Senate, 374 to 37, where it was supposed to be recognized as Israel's capital, with the embassy, no later than May 31st, 1999.
	Nothing gets voted on 93 to 5, by the way.
	Nothing does.
	Nothing!
	Like, I can't agree that the day has started 93 to 5, okay?
	You can't have a vote simply to, uh, let's say, I don't know, just a vote to take a poll on who hates puppies.
	Okay, and I know you can't have a vote, and you're just going to give it to them.
	You could not do it.
	It wouldn't happen.
	374 to 37, 93 to 5.
	It's been recognized for decades.
	This is the first president to enforce it.
	So the UN is effectively saying, are we going to pass a resolution saying that we don't like that Donald Trump did this?
	This is why I say, why do we care about the UN?
	Why are we in the UN anymore?
	They serve no purpose.
	It's not like NATO.
	We should kick them out.
	Yeah.
	That's good office space we could use for something else.
	We should kick them out.
	You know what we should do?
	They're useless at this point.
	You know what else we should do?
	We were talking about Canadian health care with Jordan Peterson earlier.
	Are we ready with Molyneux or do we need a few more?
	We need about 30 seconds.
	We should, any drug we invent, we don't give to any other country outside the United States.
	Any medical innovation, any research, you don't benefit if you have socialized health care.
	We're like China.
	Yeah, and by the way, you don't, you don't, we don't use our military to protect you.
	Ooh, that's the biggest one.
	Yeah.
	We, if we, we should sign a resolution saying nobody in the UN gets our military assistance.
	None of you.
	Yeah.
	Guess what?
	Go back to protecting your own trade.
	Okay.
	Go ahead.
	Go ahead and guard your own ships.
	But we have these giant oil fields and we have no, I'm sorry.
	I know your air force is a guy in a propeller plane with a shotgun.
	We get it.
	Yes, you can afford terrible health care that everybody has, but nobody has access to, because you don't defend yourself!
	I know.
	We do!
	Alright, I know, you have to go.
	Alright, buddy, I'll be back in a little bit.
	Y'all have fun.
	See ya.
	Thanks, Eric.
	Bye.
	This wrist hurt, too.
	I've sprained both wrists.
	And his giant meat hook.
	Thank you, atgmorganjr.
	We have Stefan Mahler coming up.
	Hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.
	Make sure it's trending for this guy, because people like him.
	And, uh, we're glad to have him on the show since we just took a steaming dump on Canada.
	I'm sorry that was your intro.
	At Stephan Molyneux, that's where the Mac's.
	Stephan, how are you, sir?
	I'm very well, Stephen.
	How you doing?
	Merry Christmas to you and yours.
	Uh, horribly.
	I'm not gonna lie to you.
	I miss—'cause you know we're doing the 16-hour CNN livestream?
	I'm—without a hint— Oh, wait, wait!
	Oh, no.
	I have a, um, I'm— I am.
	I've got my blast helmet, my stormtrooper outfit, I've got tear-away pants for no particular reason, and I'm ready for CNN to scour my brain of reason and evidence.
	All my years of philosophical training can be taken out by one pixel-based shotgun blast of irrationality from the mainstream media, I'm said, baby.
	Is it wrong that that looks refreshing?
	Well, it may look more refreshing than CNN, that's all I'm saying.
	Oh, I know, I know.
	I look at it and I'm like, oh.
	It's like the oasis, it's like the mirage in the middle of the desert.
	I'm sitting there going, oh.
	I'm looking at you right now.
	It's like a spear commercial.
	And you look like a hawk, you look like a hawk.
	Stefan is a hot dog and the Clorox is just like a martini.
	Alright, at Stefan Molyneux.
	Stefan, I don't know if you've been following at all.
	I don't know if you've been following the stream at all, but do you want me to catch up to speed?
	Just a brief hit list of some of the biases?
	You know, just just in case people end up only watching this segment, which I'm not saying I'd recommend it.
	I'm just saying it's going to be the best segment, but you might as well catch up people in case they just dip in here.
	OK, so let me do this really quick.
	So right away we tuned in.
	Stoking the Russian hysteria with the idea that Trump is going to fire Mueller.
	Of course, he already said that he wasn't.
	Maybe he will, but he said that he wouldn't.
	Adam Schiff on Mueller probe was up there nine months ago.
	He said he had evidence on President Donald Trump.
	There's been nothing.
	And they had him on here for like half an hour.
	Not a single mention, not one of Uranium One trending on Twitter, depending where you are.
	That's number three and that's number four.
	We were number three.
	So sorry, a little ego there.
	Chip program.
	They literally said nine million tiny Tim's will die because Republicans don't want to fund the child health care initiative.
	It's not true.
	They actually Put some legislation forward to fund it for another five years.
	Democrats just don't like the mechanism of funding.
	No mention of the Melbourne attacker being an Afghani named Saeed Nyori.
	They just said some guy ran over some people in Melbourne.
	Holiday shoppers, by the way, not Christmas shoppers.
	The cherry on top of the shit cake.
	And then we have... Sorry, there's no censoring here today.
	Uh, mysterious death of border patrol agent.
	They were saying, we are mysterious.
	What's the cause?
	Two illegal, uh, immigrant drug cartels are the only suspects right now.
	We can't confirm it, but they didn't even mention it at all.
	They had DeSimone Sanders on to talk about the Mueller probe, who, of course, mocked Trump supporters being beaten by black mobs, saying, poor white people.
	And, of course, they've been talking about Israel nonstop and the embassy saying...
	Basically, I've been presenting it as though this is some kind of a new idea to move the embassy to Jerusalem.
	Not talking about the 1995 vote for the embassy to be moved to Jerusalem and it to be recognized as Israeli capital no later than May 1999.
	That's just the hit list from 8 o'clock a.m.
	to now, Stefan.
	Your floor.
	Right.
	Well, first of all, I mean, the idea that they would fire Mueller would be ridiculous.
	Mueller is like the Christmas gift that keeps on giving.
	Because with Mueller, you have this whole Russia hysteria, Russian bears are crawling up my leg, and not in the way that I like.
	And in the meantime, you know, Trump can go around fixing the country while everyone's distracted.
	Squirrel!
	Russians!
	They're off doing their crazy stuff and Mueller should just keep going.
	I'm really sorry for all the people whose life savings are being scoured clear by this political witch hunt, but it does give the Democrats something to focus on that keeps them distracted while the country gets saved.
	Well, I am amazed that there's no mention of Uranium One.
	And they even said like, well, is it just meddling?
	Or was there collusion?
	As though there isn't an answer number three.
	Like, maybe none of it.
	Maybe Donald Trump had nothing to do with it.
	It's like, did he meddle?
	Did they meddle?
	Or did he just collude?
	And then they go into Mueller and they have Schiff, who's been promising evidence for nine months.
	Like you said, it's a gift because they promise evidence and then there's nothing and they move on down the trail.
	But wouldn't it be terrible, as Hillary Clinton said, wouldn't it be terrible, shocking and appalling, Stephen, if Trump did not recognize and accept the outcome of a democratic election?
	Wouldn't that just be the worst conceivable thing in the world?
	Oh, Lord, I just, you know, if you ever want to know what's really going on in the mind of a leftist, just look what they're accusing other people of, and that's their darkest acted out fantasies.
	I think you're right.
	Right now they just showed a chart here up on CNN that 22% were the biggest contributors to the UN.
	Stephan, do you think we should even be, well, we, I said the United States.
	I know, you know, listen, you're our friends over there in Canada, but I know you'd probably rather be American at this point.
	You're trying.
	You're trying.
	You're doing better.
	Do you think the US should be involved with the UN at all at this point?
	Oh, no.
	The UN is a massive spider-based cancer for spreading leftism around the planet.
	The idea that you have, what is it, Saudi Arabia chairing the Women's Rights Commission, and I don't know, it was like Zimbabwe on the Human Rights Council and so on.
	It's affirmative action for evil people.
	I like the idea that this shouldn't have anything to do with anything.
	What if we just cut off a portion of the clitoris?
	Right?
	Right?
	And the UN's like, yeah, yeah, that sounds good.
	I'm just pretty much sure that on no sane planet should gynecologists be equipped with chainsaws.
	That is not the way a sane planet should ever operate.
	And I like what Trump said.
	He said, hey, you don't like the Jerusalem thing?
	Maybe we'll just cut your foreign aid.
	Now, why there's foreign aid to begin with is completely beyond me.
	I don't know if it's white guilt or if it's just buying off votes or whatever, but you know, how about you just, anybody who says anything, are you breathing?
	Okay.
	No foreign aid for you.
	I mean, it's terrible for the countries involved.
	It's just the whole process of transferring money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.
	And it's just another form of corporate welfare, because you give a bunch of money to Zimbabwe in American dollars, they end up having to spend it someplace, which benefits American companies.
	So yeah, let's just get rid of foreign aid completely.
	It hasn't worked.
	The countries are not better off and the deficit just keeps growing in America and all the Western countries.
	So yeah, this internationalism thing, it comes out of a fundamental misunderstanding.
	Everyone thinks, well, the reason why there was a Second World War is that people weren't talking enough.
	So let's get a place together where people can talk and everything will be fine.
	And now we just have another kind of invasion going on.
	Right, hold on.
	Hey, sound guy Edward, make sure you close both doors when you come in.
	We have like a photo, a red room, and there are two doors, and one of them was being left open so I could hear someone yelling.
	Oh, I thought it was, was it not going to be a draft?
	I don't see any nipples.
	I was hoping that maybe that'd be a draft.
	I don't care.
	I'm going to show you some nipples.
	Oh, there we go.
	Okay.
	Hang on.
	By the way, I don't know if you saw this.
	We're sponsored by Walther now, a firearm company with balls.
	And so look at this, Stephan.
	Appendix carrying.
	Pow, pow, pow.
	That's a Walther.
	That's a Walther firearm there.
	They saw the show, and they said, we'll sponsor you anyway.
	So how good is that?
	Did they specifically say that it should be in your groin?
	Was that in the contract, or it's just a rider that you have?
	I know I want nothing but red M&Ms and a gun where my dick should be.
	Well, there is no other rider than me.
	What?
	And it's a holster with options.
	It's a holster with options.
	It's actually a Nate Squared holster.
	So I wear it on the side, but here with the onesie, it was kind of hard to do.
	It wasn't because there's no loop.
	Anyways, long story short, but here, let me, it's funny that you mentioned this, no foreign aid.
	That's, you know, I'm actually kind of on board with that, but what's ironic here, so let's, let's both agree on that, but now let's get into the reality that there is foreign aid.
	The only place liberals have problems with foreign aid is the one place that actually respects, to some degree, human rights.
	Right now, Israel.
	They have no problem with foreign aid with Saudi Arabia.
	They want more foreign aid to Hamas.
	But really, today, this is a referendum on not hating Israel.
	We're not even talking about foreign aid today.
	We're just talking about recognizing an embassy that was already passed as a bill in 1995.
	So, as someone who's a libertarian, you know yourself, you're consistent.
	No foreign aid across the board.
	But do you see this irony?
	That the only time liberals have a problem with foreign aid is when it is Israel?
	Well, of course, the big problem with Israel for the liberals, Stephen, is that the Jews in Israel have a very strong in-group preference.
	They don't allow migrants.
	They're kicking out a bunch of people who came in.
	They have a wall.
	They have a sense of culture, of history, of pride, and they want to keep the country for themselves.
	Now that very idea gives liberals hives and shakes and spina bifida and Lord knows what else.
	So I think that they're concerned that That a cultural country that wishes to keep its own identity exists, because, by God, man, what if that idea were to spread elsewhere?
	What would happen?
	Oh, the horror!
	Yeah.
	And the thing is, like we talked about here in the United States, the equivalent there isn't really a race of people, there are Jews as a race of people, but people who are, okay, boom, you subscribe to the Constitution, when you come here you actually take this naturalization oath, and if you don't believe it, You're out.
	That's terrifying to liberals here in the United States.
	You know, what makes an American is a set of ideals.
	And they go, well, hold on a second.
	No, no, no.
	We don't have to believe in freedom of speech.
	You don't have to believe in the Second Amendment.
	What are you talking about?
	That's in the oath when you become a citizen here.
	Yeah, it is crazy to me.
	Here's my situation with Israel.
	And I've talked about this, and this is not necessarily super popular with the Christian community.
	No foreign aid, period.
	Now, Israel is a pivotal military ally of ours because it's the one area where, you know, listen, we need a place to land, we need a place to refuel, we need a safe haven where there's an entire sea of people who want to destroy us, but you can do that without the kind of money that exchanges hands as it does right now.
	But if you look at Ron Paul, What they basically said is we're funding to the tune of all of these countries around Israel.
	If you add it all up, we're giving far more money to countries who want to eviscerate Israel than Israel itself.
	We give more to them individually, but if you just say no funding at all, right?
	No funding at all to anybody, Israel would actually be better off because of the funding we give to other countries who want to kill them.
	That to me is entirely sensible.
	Well, as far as I understand it, I'm no expert of the economics even, but as far as I understand it, Jews in America, not the poorest demographic in the known universe.
	So, you know, if people want to help a country, they can write checks and send money.
	You know, it's not like there'll be no help going from America to Israel if there's no foreign aid.
	But you're right.
	I mean, why are you selling hundreds of billions of dollars of arms to places like Saudi Arabia and also giving money to defense for Israel?
	I mean, talk about funding both sides of the coin.
	I mean, it's ridiculous.
	And here's something I don't understand, too.
	Like, Saudi Arabia, I get it, you know, and you look back, okay, then it goes all the way back to the Clintons and the Bushes and their allyship with Saudi Arabia, and then you kind of have it with the UAE.
	Qatar, Clock Boy.
	Clock Boy, gosh.
	That was this year, Clock Boy.
	What a long year.
	Was it?
	No, it wasn't.
	Really?
	Wasn't it?
	No, I've so lost track.
	We'll talk about it.
	I've so lost track of time these days.
	You know what?
	He did a resurgence.
	He came back.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	He went away and he came back.
	Yeah, he came back.
	He tried a lawsuit.
	He moved overseas.
	He came back.
	That's it.
	Oh yeah, it was a big mess.
	Yeah, it was Clock Boy 2, back to the briefcase.
	So he didn't, by the way, he didn't build anything.
	He put a Philips alarm clock in a briefcase and he turned up the volume.
	And he was like, hey guys, I had nothing to see here.
	CNN didn't report that.
	No one knows.
	What was that?
	CNN didn't report it.
	No, CNN didn't report it.
	So what's crazy to me is, like you said, we're talking about this.
	Every now and then we have an alliance with someone in the Middle East not named Israel.
	Israel has been pretty consistent here over the last couple of decades.
	But Saudi Arabia, then they screw up.
	Egypt, then they screw up.
	Turkey, then they screw up.
	Even if you go back to, you know, before the Iran conflict, you look, there were all different kinds of alliances, and it always goes sour.
	So my whole thing is I understand that people say, well, listen, we have to be diplomatic, but you know, you know, they're going to turn on you at some point.
	At this point, we're going to lose some of the biggest alliances just because we say, yeah, we can put the embassy in Jerusalem.
	So why do it?
	Just say no more money.
	That's it.
	None.
	Zero.
	How about that?
	Well, can you, can you imagine?
	Let's just, let's just do a thought exercise here for you and your listeners.
	I warn you, I am very, my thoughts are slower than usual after five hours of CNN.
	Oh no, listen, I specifically wanted to come in later, just to have the slight intellectual advantage.
	You've got me beat on biceps, but if you're exhausted, I might have a chance.
	But let's imagine that there was a religion somewhere out there in the world that specifically allowed its adherents to lie to people who weren't part of that religion and be perfectly moral.
	Like, you know, because with Christianity, it's a, you know, do not bear false witness and so on, and it's a universal commandment.
	But let's just imagine there are a couple of religions out there that specifically say, totally fine, in fact, if it's advantageous for your religion, you can completely lie to people not part of your religion.
	And let's say that America or the West as a whole Didn't really notice that particular clause and entered into these contracts with people whose religion specifically says they never have to keep a contract with you in any way shape or form.
	I wonder if a lot of foreign policy could be improved by just reading a few sections of, say, said religious text and making decisions accordingly.
	That's true.
	You know what?
	You can't even ask them, I think, by the way, this thought exercise.
	I believe he's speaking of the Islamic belief of taqiyah, which is you're allowed to lie.
	By the way, you're allowed to lie in times of war.
	What means, or times of oppression.
	What is a time of oppression?
	Anytime you're not the ruling class with everyone subjugated.
	So basically, it's always a time of oppression until Islam takes over the entire world.
	The problem is you can't even ask them to renounce taqiyah.
	Let's say certain people took an oath It's like, I promise.
	So no Takeya.
	No!
	You swear.
	I swear to God.
	Your God.
	I swear to any God.
	Yeah, I know.
	What if people swore on a Bible?
	Anyway, this is going to go on and on.
	This could go on and on.
	Can you imagine?
	I know, alright.
	No, really, I can't.
	I mean, those Klingons, they've got some, well, you know, odd beliefs.
	Let's just put it that way.
	Hold on one second.
	Let's let Stephen hear this.
	John King is talking.
	U.N.
	votes to condemn Trump's Jerusalem decision.
	It's just recycling!
	It's just recycling.
	...in a year in which Republicans are trying to protect their majorities, and you already see the beginnings of a Democratic wave because of the president's unpopularity.
	Huh?
	This is better than...
	I really say this, but Donald Trump is right on the politics here.
	A shutdown would be terrible tomorrow.
	Do you think they know we're watching them?
	Here's what's crazy, Stefan, right?
	They have all this money.
	They are talking about the same thing that they've been talking about from this morning.
	There is nothing new.
	And they're paying them to have this opulent set and a round table, and all they are doing is discussing the same thing we are, except with a lag, because they have to have middlemen get them the breaking news online.
	Literally today, they've had, like, breaking news.
	Well, that's not breaking.
	We've known this for 30 minutes.
	I mean, do you think we're watching them die?
	Do you think that CNN, do you think in five years' time, cable news as we know it won't really exist?
	It'll be some other form?
	Oh, listen, Stephen, I mean, come on, you and I and the audiences that we have and the trajectory of our growth, like we just ran the numbers, Mohammed on my channel grew 20% year over year.
	We're not watching them die.
	We're helping them.
	We're like the nurse in the operating room.
	It's like, well, you know, this patient doesn't seem to be doing well.
	Oops!
	Kicked out the plug!
	Well, I guess I just saved everybody some money.
	So, no, I like to think that I'm not just a passive participant in watching the decaying orbit of the mainstream media as it burns up in the stratosphere of intelligent thought and alternative media.
	I like to think that I'm not just helping someone fly, I'm giving them a little bit of a push as well.
	So, yeah, I think we're a little bit more active than just observers.
	I think you're right.
	I think you've done a lot.
	And then I think all the people who joined Mug Club today, they're basically the person with the pillow going, I can't bear to watch this.
	Let me just say one other thing, just looking at that CNN panel.
	This question of diversity is interesting because it seems to me that they're only focused on the surface with regards to diversity.
	Because, of course, on CNN, you never want a libertarian.
	You might get a rhino sort of floating through from time to time who's, you know, willing to say a few things to the Republican base while basically informing with what the left wants.
	But any actual diversity of opinion at CNN is completely absent.
	So they have, I guess, women and blacks and other groups who all have the same beliefs.
	So in other words, they say diversity is only skin deep.
	Diversity is like what covers your dome, what's inside your brain.
	There can be no diversity of any kind, any way, shape, or form.
	No divergent opinions, no opposite arguments, nothing like that.
	And that to me is really interesting because I value diversity of opinion.
	You know, nobody has a monopoly on truth and we all benefit from having our arguments sharpened by opposition.
	But with CNN, it is this monotonous sameness.
	And this is why I think that the audience for CNN is sort of functionally retarded because smart people want – they don't like things being the same.
	Hold on one second.
	One second.
	128 to 9, the vote to condemn Trump's Jerusalem decision.
	And it was 300-something to like 5 or – it was like 300-something to 50 to recognize it as the embassy in 95.
	It was 97 to 3 or 95 to 3 or 93 to 5.
	So it's like – it's just so funny.
	UN is a complete flip-flop of countries not beholden to being politically correct.
	Sorry.
	Continue with your thought.
	It's a – well, it's a team thing.
	Right.
	I mean, if you take the jerseys of your team and put them on the other team, suddenly you've swung to the other side of the stadium and it's not cheering for them.
	It's just a team thing.
	You've seen all of these videos that people have online and they take a Trump speech and they go to a leftist and they say, Obama made this speech.
	What do you think?
	And they're like, oh, it's magical.
	I'm transported.
	I'm floating.
	I'm not in Kansas anymore.
	I'm in the dopamine nirvana drip of mainstream media kibble.
	Right.
	And so they all, so they don't care about the content.
	It's just the team.
	The left has their team.
	The right has their team.
	And there's no principles involved, certainly on the left.
	I think on the right, the never Trumpers were principle less, although I think they're kind of coming around now.
	But I see it the other way.
	There's no moral content to any of this.
	I see them meeting in the middle because Trump hadn't really accomplished a whole lot until this tax bill and the net neutrality kind of thing.
	I see both of them kind of coming and going, okay, he's doing some stuff finally at the end of the year.
	You know, I saw a lot of Trump people are upset that he didn't get the wall done and the Never Trumpers saying, told you so.
	And now I see pro-Trump people and the Never Trumpers going, all right, this is good right now.
	This is a good end of year rap.
	Well, you know, I don't agree that he didn't get much done.
	It's just that he didn't get stuff done that changes things now.
	But in terms of, you know, SCOTUS, Gorsuch on the bench, in terms of other stuff that happened behind the scenes, there's a lot of sort of building for the future.
	I mean, the guy's settling in for another seven years and, you know, all going well.
	He's going to get them.
	So I think he's kind of building for the future.
	You know, it's like saying, well, there's nothing going up on the building.
	It's like, yeah, but blueprints are being drawn up furiously and bids are being put together.
	So it takes a while for stuff to manifest.
	This is one of the big manifestations.
	And isn't it amazing, Steve?
	Talk about the ultimate Grinch party.
	It's like, wait, wait, American workers are getting more money for Christmas?
	That's the worst thing in the world!
	I know, I know!
	Are you kidding?
	Do you have no idea how this looks?
	Do you have no idea of the Grinch-like, savage optics of this?
	Oh no!
	People are keeping more of their own money to spend on their families at Christmas?
	I can't see!
	I had someone tell me, because everyone here gets a salary, which is better than most people out there, and there's a huge, or big, really big, I like to say huge, Christmas bonus incentive.
	And you know, because the reason for that is with us, Q4 with sponsors, or it used to be YouTube, it's exponentially higher, right?
	With advertisers, they dump all their ad money.
	So if we hit these certain things, you guys get really big bonuses.
	And someone actually bitched about this bill on Twitter.
	I don't have it up in front of me, and said, yeah, that's nothing new.
	My corporate employer used to do this, give us bonuses at the end of the year so they could get a tax break.
	So, that's because they make a bunch of money at the end of the year.
	A lot of businesses, like Gerald, he works in wine.
	He gets most of his orders.
	If you work in retail, most of your orders.
	If you work in commercials, most of your orders come in in Q4.
	As a matter of fact, 70% of next year, Q4, by the way, for people who don't know, means fourth quarter of the year.
	70% of next year's ad inventory is sold in the fourth quarter of this year because they're making a bet on what their tax burden is going to be the next year.
	It just, it just, it really does come down to Appealing to selfishness.
	I really do think that's what it is.
	People are like, well, they're just doing it to avoid taxes.
	And you got $10,000!
	Yeah, so what you're saying is that if you lower taxes, people get more money.
	I think that's kind of course, and this is true, because the left, every time they want to get rid of something, they raise taxes on it.
	So they're completely aware.
	The taxes fundamentally fuel economic decisions.
	My favorite of the day.
	Well, there were two, if you don't mind indulge me for a second.
	Go ahead.
	Hold on, let me just check the schedule and see.
	One second, let me check the schedule here, one second.
	Yep, you got time, you're good.
	Okay, go ahead.
	All right.
	So Bill Kristol tweeted out, isn't there something creepy about corporations giving cash bonuses to employees explicitly because of the passage of certain legislation or because of specific regulatory actions?
	Doesn't it have something of a road to corporatist serfdom feel to it?
	I'm sorry.
	I'm sorry, Bill, that people are getting more money around Christmas and that a bunch of companies have raised the minimum amount they'll pay to employees to $15 an hour.
	I'm sorry.
	I have no idea in what universe that is a bad thing.
	That is a terrible... Oh, no!
	We're now being enslaved by corporations who are giving us more money out of the goodness of their hearts and the competition of the market.
	It's like... And Pelosi.
	Pelosi.
	Oh, Lord.
	Shamefully, Republicans were cheering against the children as they robbed from their future and ransacked the middle class to reward the witch.
	Okay, Pelosi, Pelosi, Pelosi.
	Michelle Malkin had a great quote.
	She said, Hush, woman, your net worth in 2016 was $83 million on a less than $200,000 a year government salary.
	How is Pelosi worth that much?
	Nancy Pelosi, the left is very concerned about the children, which is why they're for abortion up to kindergarten, and massive national debts to be passed along to the next generation.
	But now you see, they care about the children, and it's so funny to watch the left caring about deficits, and it's just amazing.
	Yeah, there's like a $1.5 trillion deficit over the next ten years.
	We had $10 trillion added over the last eight.
	You guys couldn't care less.
	And I do think that Republicans, Conservatives, need to be concerned about that, need to be consistent.
	Now here's the deal.
	That passed, and now Democrats are holding them hostage when it comes to spending cuts.
	Nothing.
	They don't want to cut anything.
	So this is why it's so funny.
	This is the bias by omission.
	CNN actually, because if there's a shutdown this time, it'll be the Democrats, just like it was the Republicans last time.
	We owned it.
	You know why?
	We're fine with it.
	If it comes to, with this kind of an increase in the deficit, this kind of attack, shutdown.
	And we owned it.
	We were the villains.
	Republicans said, fine.
	But right now, they know that most people don't want to see a shutdown, so it said, Trump colon says Democrats want shutdown.
	It's like, just say Democrats want the shutdown.
	But they had to, because they know it's bad, they had to put Trump colon just commenting on them wanting the shutdown.
	Yeah, I mean, a good example, We've just added now, to our kind of Rolodex here, one more hire.
	We were going to hire two more people here coming into the new year.
	Now we're going to hire three.
	If this bill takes effect very quickly and we see the actual ramifications, people are thinking, yeah, if we have more money, we hire more people.
	And let's say we hire another person, right, who's unemployed, and I make more money.
	I don't get the problem with that.
	I don't understand.
	Well, here's the thing too, right?
	So, and this is a little technical, but I really want people to understand this.
	So there's a big problem with the American tax code, which I won't get into the details of it, but basically it's the difference between territorial and worldwide taxation.
	So what this means is I think it's about 2.4 trillion dollars.
	That's trillion dollars that American corporations who are multinationals have parked in overseas bank accounts that they don't want to bring back to the United States because the taxes are going to be ridiculous.
	At a 45% corporate tax rate, one of the highest in the world.
	Now, this changes all of that.
	And it allows them to bring the money back for I think it's about a 15% tax on cash, like an 8% tax on equipment and so on.
	So this could potentially mean hundreds of billions or even trillions of dollars rolling back into the US economy to be invested, to grow, to raise wages, to drive economic growth.
	And it seems to me now that the left has simply become A parody of patriotism.
	I think they're not concerned that the tax bill, the tax cuts are going to fail.
	They're concerned that it's going to succeed and it's going to transition more people from receiving government money to paying taxes.
	Because when you pay taxes, suddenly you care about your tax rates.
	When you're receiving money, not so much.
	And their whole base could be eviscerated through this process.
	Well, you were saying that too, right?
	In another show, Not Gay Jared.
	You've been silent for like an hour, so I want people to know you're still alive.
	When you were in college, you didn't really think about it.
	And you were never liberal, but you never really thought about taxes and how it would affect you.
	I didn't know any of this.
	Now I bet you think about it.
	Now I bet you think about taxes.
	Now I bet you get every write-off you possibly can.
	And you're not necessarily Bernie Sanders wealthy or Nancy Pelosi wealthy, but you do okay.
	Yeah, you know, it really is, it's amazing to me, like here, let me simplify it because you were getting technical.
	What we want to do here, the biggest effect is going to be corporations.
	Yes.
	Now, without getting too technical, the reason that'll be the biggest effect of this tax bill is because we're going to lower our corporate tax rate from the highest in the industrialized world to just be the same as most European nations.
	Is that too technical for people out there?
	You can tweet me and Stefan Molyneux, use the hashtag, CrowderCNNLivestream.
	We're just going to lower it to say, like, the price of the UK.
	And I think it was actually Apple.
	Someone was warning, saying, hey, you're going to have a flux of incoming investments, so you better be ready for that and have infrastructure for that, because now people are... I mean, the United States is the best place to start a business because, obviously, of the environment fostering innovation, but then it's not the best place to...
	Yeah, yeah, but now it's not it wasn't the best place for people to keep a business now it's going to be both or at least competitive on both and That's a huge deal by the way Let me let me let me end on this because we do have to get going Stefan Molyneux the net neutrality thing Did you not find this hysterical that all youtubers were acting as a net neutrality?
	And I'm gonna hold a second Google Facebook YouTube.
	They all support it.
	They have all clearly censored and Tim Cook of Apple I just think this is the perfect, just the perfect irony was pro-net neutrality and now we find out that they're throttling old phones.
	No, that's right.
	Let me ask you this just before we go.
	What was your first, like, I got my first job when I was like 10, but I started paying taxes when I was 11, when I was working in a bookstore.
	And you get that first paycheck and you're like, because in your mind you're like, oh, I was making like $2.50 an hour back in the day, right?
	Oh, I worked, I worked four hours, that's $10, which was, you know, a good chunk of money.
	Right.
	And then you get your paycheck and it's like, well, let's just say it's not $10.
	And I think the fact that people are getting jobs later and later and later means that they just don't get that Oh, OK, I guess all this stuff isn't free.
	I am paying for it.
	And when was what was your first big tax whiplash?
	Well, you know, it's funny because I think in Canada, though, they give it back to you at the end of the year if you're under 18, if I'm not mistaken.
	So I'm not sure.
	This was in England, but I don't remember getting anything back.
	Okay, okay.
	Well, I don't want to speak out of turn, but I believe they withhold it and then you get it all back when you're under 18.
	So I don't want someone to say, you're lying.
	But I remember my dad, my first real taxable, I mean, I'd mowed lawns and shoveled walkways was when I did Arthur.
	I was the voice of the brain.
	I started when I was 12.
	And these were big checks.
	Right.
	So they weren't they weren't small checks because it was it was the number nine rated show of the 90s as far as viewership.
	And that being said, they weren't huge.
	People would think you always think you make more.
	But it was big enough to actually see the taxes.
	And my dad sat me down and said, OK, this is basically Social Security.
	This is, you know, I don't know if that's what the word is in English.
	That's how we call it in French.
	I actually have never thought of Medicare.
	Socialized healthcare.
	This is what you're paying for.
	And I'm going like, oh, but that's a lot.
	And he said, yeah.
	I said, but I remember as a kid, it's been like, but our healthcare is really bad.
	Mom had to wait over a year to get an MRI.
	He said, yeah.
	And I said, okay.
	He goes, so what do you think about that?
	And that's when I became a conservative.
	12 years old.
	My first Arthur paycheck.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, no, and so the fact that a lot of kids aren't getting jobs until their 20s, and then maybe they get low rent jobs where their tax brackets aren't that high, but yeah, the longer you can push off people getting a job, the more that you can make them think that there's all this just free stuff in the world and only mean people want to keep poor people from getting it.
	Well, they can just fight for $15, which is ironic because I think like four companies, AT&T, I think it was Boeing, like four major Fortune 500, probably top 50 companies as far as employers in the United States said, they're going to be raising their minimum wage up to $15 an hour.
	So look, there are two ways to do it.
	Force businesses to do it and charge them more and tax them more or give them more money.
	And now we have the fight for $15.
	All right, Stefan Molyneux, where's the best place for people to find you, brother?
	You've been fantastic and helped relieve me of hosting duties for if only a moment.
	Well, freedomainradio.com or youtube.com slash freedomainradio are the two places to get a hold of the big chatty foreheads ramblings.
	Absolutely.
	And listen, if you want the segment from this for your own channel, you can get it because this is 16 hours, so anyone can piecemeal what they want.
	I'm already tired.
	I don't know how I'm going to make it.
	It's not I have 12 hours to go.
	Oh, my God.
	All right.
	12 hours to go.
	It's 16 hours.
	We were going to do a 24 hour live stream.
	Are you crazy?
	Aren't you your own boss?
	How much salt do you have for a boss that he's putting you in the salt mines of capital for this long?
	What are you, crazy?
	My audience... You should start a union against yourself!
	I was waterboarded last year and I had this idea.
	It was a joke.
	And everyone laughed in the pitch me.
	I said, what's worse than waterboarding?
	I said, I could watch CNN for 24 hours.
	Ha ha ha ha ha.
	And everyone got quiet.
	Be your own boss.
	Taste the freedom of things that would be illegal if someone forced you to do it.
	Actually, you know what?
	It is!
	In Guantanamo Bay, 16 hours or more was considered sleep deprivation.
	You add Don Lemon to the mix.
	You know what you need to do, is you need to do, I'm gonna do my next Christmas show driving a big truck, because there's no way you could do it this long without it being completely illegal.
	That's what you need, of course.
	Shit shower and shave breaks every couple of hours.
	No, I don't get it.
	I'm gonna get a lunch break at some point.
	But you helped me, uh, riding Copa.
	Stefan Molyneux, thank you very much!
	We must go!
	Bye, sir!
	Thanks, bye.
	And, uh, he's right.
	I don't know why I did this.
	Hey, in the lighting, I feel like my mouth is like a black hole.
	Is that just the monitor?
	My teeth are not black, just so you know.
	Oh, my wife is in here.
	What is this?
	Oh, is my voice—does my voice sound rough?
	Sorry.
	Sorry.
	That's my hot wife, by the way.
	She wants to get out quickly.
	All right, take—take Opera with you, sweetheart.
	She's, uh... Okay, all right, let's go.
	Oh, CNN poll.
	Trump approval at 35%.
	Hey, you know what?
	Hey, you know what?
	I was going to say, wife!
	I have an extra mug that I don't need.
	I have three mugs here.
	Two is about the limit before I start spilling something.
	Thank you.
	I don't like to mix... This is just water.
	This is good.
	I'll keep this.
	I don't like to mix water and coffee mugs because there's always a sheen of oil when you start putting water in it.
	I don't know.
	It just makes me feel pretty gross.
	You want to take a three-minute break?
	I got something queued up for us.
	What do we have queued up for?
	Well, hold on a second.
	Hold on a second.
	Rove, keep Trump off 2018 campaign trail.
	35% disapproval rating.
	All right, guys, we need to keep this trending.
	If you don't right now, but tonight, we really need this to be trending.
	Hold on.
	Before we go, Sven has something to say.
	Do we want to thank some more people on Twitter?
	Yes, really quickly.
	People who are joining.
	Let's read them out.
	People who have joined Mug Club.
	Let's go to the overlays.
	Hold on one second.
	First of all, this guy, I don't know how they do it.
	At NeroDB, he drew you already.
	Wow!
	And he joined Mug Club?
	I don't know about that.
	If he does that, he's probably already a member, let's be honest.
	Well, thank you so much.
	Listen, what's his name?
	His name is Nero, at NeroDB underscore.
	Okay, either Sven or, you know what, at CourtneyScoffs.
	We'll follow you and get your info.
	We'll get you a free t-shirt, my friend.
	Thank you for the... Bring that up one more time, Sven.
	Hey, Sound Guy, bring this CNN down just as we do this really quickly.
	Republicans out-compete?
	Alright, they're just doing more anti-Trump stuff.
	We'll get back to it once they get to something substantive.
	Okay, give us some more, Sven.
	Alright, then.
	I mean, I'm sure I've missed a lot of people now, but, you know.
	So we'll thank Justin Rodriguez who signed up.
	Thank you very much.
	Thank you.
	Thank you very much!
	Shane Hicks.
	Thank you very much.
	Boom.
	Pat Jennings, add more people.
	Thank you very much.
	Thank you very much to everyone who, every time you join Mug Club, John King makes a face like he just made.
	Did Muhammad get sexually harassed in hell?
	I hope not.
	You decide.
	But he did.
	He did, though.
	There's no guessing game.
	He did.
	Muhammad was sexually harassed in hell.
	Every time you join the Mug Club, Muhammad is tortured in hell.
	Now, what am I saying?
	Mohammed's in hell.
	What do we have queued up?
	Because I know we've got three minutes.
	This is a quick best of.
	It's a little recap of our year.
	It's a little, uh, little... Okay, quick best of, just so I can take a break to go to the restroom, and I will be back, and hopefully the honey lemon ginger tea will help, uh, and we'll keep the tweeting going.
	Hashtag CrowderCNN livestream!
	See you in three minutes.
	Come here, you little sh**.
	Bye.
	- What's that unbelievable discussion? - It's an economic thing.
	- What?
	What?
	I thought I heard it off, William!
	No, you piss off!
	No, you piss off, William!
	No, you first!
	No, you!
	No, you!
	You first!
	No, you piss off!
	What?
	What?
	No, I just... I didn't hear... I can't hear you!
	No, you piss off, William Wallace!
	Jinx!
	you owe me a grog what are you doing?
	Huh?
	Oh, I'm producing now.
	What?
	Huh?
	What's he doing here?
	I'm replacing Jared now.
	No, you're not.
	Have you joined the lock-up?
	Let's give Aisha a little bit of a black eye.
	I think that's her next step.
	Muhammad, of course, did strike Aisha, but only lightly, causing her great pain.
	He's gonna call Aisha, motherfuckers.
	Oh, no!
	Oh, yeah.
	You just called the president of the United States a big bitch.
	You will be on the team.
	How can you be so selfish?
	Turn me up on the...
	You're welcome for that.
	And we are back with the old CNN.
	What are they up to now?
	It's still commercial break time.
	But we wanted to remind people out there that we do have some new swag.
	We have a louderwithcrowdofshop.com.
	I feel like I don't, I never did this before I met Stephen.
	You know that?
	I never did this.
	I feel like it, it does kind of reset your brain a little bit.
	We do have some new swag.
	louderwithcrowdofshop.com.
	We got that Ready Sven.
	There we go.
	There it is.
	The new Crowder, official Crowder shirt.
	You can buy it now, as of today, as of brand new and available.
	It probably won't make it before, for Christmas.
	If I'm being honest, I wish I can feed you false hope.
	Up to 2X.
	We'll be getting probably bigger sizes in soon for that one.
	But yeah, you can go check that out.
	See it.
	There's still some great Christmas gifts on there for the whole family.
	Sven.
	Do we have any new people joining?
	Do we have any updates on your Mug Club there?
	I think I still have some, like this guy over here, Michael Hafna.
	Thank you very much for joining.
	But yeah, I have to go through Twitter first.
	Okay.
	We can't even keep up.
	It's just too much.
	Can't keep up.
	Keep sending them in, though.
	We will try to keep up with you as you send in your confirmations and letting us know that you subscribed.
	Very happy to have you with us and on board the Mug Club ship.
	Hand-knit mug.
	Mine's filled with ginger tea at the moment.
	It burns my throat a little bit, but kind of in a good way.
	I kind of like.
	But yeah, we were waiting for CNN.
	You know, the commercial breaks turned out to be my favorite parts.
	Of the whole thing.
	It started smelling like gross man in here.
	I understand that.
	But, oh, we have, we bring some audio back in here.
	Some CNNs back.
	Who is this guy again?
	Why do you keep writing his name?
	John King.
	John King.
	It's a boring white guy name.
	That's why it's hard.
	All right, guys, this is way harder than I thought it was going to be.
	I'm just trying to not hit Hopper when I recline.
	Okay.
	Use of our Walter sponsorship if we... Blow ourselves off?
	Blow ourselves away?
	I don't think so.
	to not hit hopper when I recline.
	Okay.
	Is there a misuse of our wall for sponsorship if we blow ourselves off?
	Yeah.
	Blow ourselves away?
	I don't think so.
	Hold on one second here.
	You got it.
	There we go.
	All right.
	Same back time.
	By the way, unless it happened while I was gone, still no mention yet of Uranium One.
	No, nothing.
	Nothing?
	Nothing.
	No.
	That's okay.
	You can keep the volume up here, Senator Edward, as long as we're going, the two of us.
	With this warning.
	Firing Mueller would be a ghost.
	We get it.
	He's not firing Mueller.
	Oh, this isn't even live.
	This is a replay.
	This is also something, by the way, hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.
	Keep it going.
	The whole reason for this, yeah, is it torture?
	Absolutely.
	But Jared knows, understands the reason for this.
	It was to show people Unedited.
	So people can watch this at any point.
	They'll go back.
	This will be archived 16 hours through an entire news cycle.
	Just how biased they are.
	Do you see the problem that just happened there?
	If you tuned in, you would have thought that was live.
	You would have thought, well, that's just newsworthy.
	They're just covering a live speech right now about Mueller.
	They're not.
	Breaking news reruns.
	They're rerunning anti-Trump speeches, whether it's someone at the UN, or they rerun anti-Republican, anti-conservative speeches, and it's just on CNN.
	And if you just were to tune into CNN right now, you'd think that's what was going on.
	Here's a question.
	Do you think that they were always so bad, and it's becoming more and more exposed?
	Or do you think Trump kind of called them out, got in a pissing competition, and then they just doubled down?
	No, I think it's always been this bad.
	I've always maintained that it's been this bad.
	I mean, you go back, people think Walter Cronkite was a journalist.
	That's true, but even like a few years ago, we thought, okay, CNN's kind of the level-headed one of the... No, I didn't.
	You don't think so?
	No, you did.
	You did when you came to work for me, because you didn't really know.
	You were never, and I'm saying this, I'm not saying this to insult you, he was never a liberal, but you would admit you were not nearly as aware of this.
	I always said, I've always said, I don't really, I don't have a problem with MSNBC because they're honest.
	The problem I have with CNN is they try and act as though this is down the middle and it's a bias by omission.
	Right.
	So it's like, you know, right now, finally, finally, for the first time, it's 1245 Eastern.
	White House, there's no consideration of firing special counsel.
	But they said that yesterday.
	Hashtag inside politics.
	They said it yesterday.
	This is not new.
	So they just, if they just ignore.
	What the White House said yesterday and then today go on about how firing Mueller would be a horrible mistake.
	And now it makes it seem, if you were just watching CNN today, as though, well, it took Donald Trump long enough to say we wouldn't do it.
	Remember when they said it took him long enough to condemn the white supremacists?
	Well, that's because you were watching CNN.
	He did it right away.
	And they did it again!
	They said, no, we're not firing Mueller yesterday.
	But if you're watching CNN until 1246 today, you would think they might still be firing Mueller.
	I hate these panels.
	It's just like professional.
	And I hate them on any network, to be fair.
	To be fair, we're effectively doing a panel in onesies in a recliner right now.
	This is true.
	But we're making fun of their panel, like the cool kids, so it's okay.
	What do you think is the most egregious sin from CNN?
	What do you think is the worst?
	29% say no, but among Republicans, 48% say no.
	You let me know.
	Tweet me, at S. Crowder, hashtag CrowderCNNLivestream.
	What do you think is the most egregious sin from CNN?
	What do you think is the worst?
	Do you think it's the bias when they have people like Don Lemon who are blatantly left?
	Or do you find it worse?
	As a matter of fact, let's get a poll up here.
	Let's get a poll on the Twitter cycle.
	Let's get a poll up on Twitter.
	What is worse?
	The proactive liberal propaganda or the constant soft bias by omission?
	The ones that people don't know about?
	I think it's, you know, I love Keith Olbermann being out there for GQ.
	I think it makes it better for us.
	But when they go forward and they run something as though it's live and it's clearly a rerun, that's where I have a problem.
	That's where I say, listen, you're not being honest about what you're doing here.
	To me, that's far, far worse than someone, you know, than Rachel Maddow.
	John King, he looks like the postman from Santa Claus is Coming to Town, the one who tells the story, and his face looks like clay.
	He's talking about the postman who's like, this story of Chris Strangle.
	Or like if, I don't know, Martin Short just overinflated himself.
	Did anyone get the poll up?
	I'm going to get my nails.
	Okay, all right.
	What's the man's biggest sin?
	Most egregious.
	Blatant leftist propaganda or the constant lies by omission.
	The constant soft bias.
	Before we even get to the poll, I'm sure I already have some answers here.
	Is it biased by omission?
	a question of, is that really what happened?
	And to this end, if you're the best...
	Was it biased by omission?
	Omission.
	So, you know, Jared's tweeting this out right now, so if there's a typo, don't blame me. - Interviewed by the Mueller team.
	What's going on with the U.N.
	vote?
	Well, listen, the U.N., it was 100-something to, like, it was overwhelmingly, for someone asking me, I think it's Logan Barrett, you were asking me what's going on with the U.N., it's overwhelmingly they want to condemn Donald Trump for moving the embassy, and no mention yet that in 1995 it passed by 300-something to, like, 90 in the House to recognize uh the embassy of jerusalem of the embassy of israel in jerusalem there's they haven't even mentioned that so if you don't have any here's the thing if you have no context as to history
	if you don't know that clinton george w bush barack obama and donald trump have all said we're going to recognize the embassy of jerusalem as in uh embassy my brain is already getting imagine when we had alcohol to the mix The, the embassy of Israel is Jerusalem.
	If you have no historical context, you're going to think Trump's a dick.
	Why is he doing that?
	What a bully.
	He's the only one doing what everyone else said they were going to do.
	And I'm not a huge Trump fan.
	Obama and Clinton.
	Oh yeah, Obama and Clinton.
	It started with Clinton.
	Yeah.
	By the way, I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing to go after Mueller a little bit.
	Is that what I said?
	Yeah.
	You haven't put this out yet?
	No, you said hold for a second.
	Late in the eyes.
	All right.
	By the way, I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing to go after Mueller a little bit.
	He's kind of a dick.
	I agree.
	Let's be honest.
	If nothing else, wherever you line up, and I don't like that Donald Trump has done this, and I certainly don't like that Barack Obama has done this, the politicization of federal bureaus, whether it's the FBI, whether it's the NSA, I think you see that it really does depend on who's in office and what the politics are of the people at the helm of those places, what happens.
	I mean, you saw Republicans and Democrats both love and hate James Comey and flip-flopped twice on that in about the span of... A month?
	Maybe a month.
	Yeah.
	Maybe a month.
	It's ridiculous.
	So, you just see, people, it really is about political expediency.
	So let's not act like the Mueller thing is about exposing some deep, dark secret.
	What, you think CNN doesn't know there's corruption?
	You think CNN really doesn't think there was corruption in the Obama administration?
	Him using the IRS?
	You think they never talked about it?
	You think they don't know?
	It's not like they care.
	Just like it's not as though Apple cares about net neutrality.
	It's not as though Facebook and Google want you to have a free and open internet.
	There's always an angle, okay?
	Be aware, just don't drink the Kool-Aid.
	Don't drink that Kool-Aid.
	Well, I always said, too, that that's something that I think is striking about the current presidency and the one previous.
	It's not that so much that media got so bad so fast, as much as it is they went from complete omission of everything Obama ever did.
	It wasn't Obama.
	It wasn't the Obama network, the Obama hate network.
	No.
	So they never talked about anything Obama did.
	And now they talk about and speculate everything Trump even could possibly do.
	That's a good point.
	So it's the contrast.
	It's about, are they applying their standards equally?
	Yeah.
	If you were to just, like, I mean, I'm pretty, we pretty much take a, I mean, I got so much hate because I took a, dropped a steaming pile.
	On Donald Trump, when he came out and when, I was like, he was a Democrat his whole life.
	Talked about, when he was talking about grab by the pussy, I was like, this is just ridiculous.
	First off, it's not sexual harassment.
	I never thought it was rape or an omission of sexual assault.
	What bothered me more was he was talking about the Access Hollywood woman, the wife, who was a wife of someone.
	I was like, if Trump talked that way about my wife, I'd kick his ass.
	And you even had Trump hard, who are so diehard Trump fans, they were like, you really think you could kick Donald Trump's ass?
	Yes.
	Yes.
	But I praise him where it's fair.
	I took a big old steaming crap on... Steven Seagal is Batman, I'm sure.
	Yes, and Steven Seagal is a real fighter.
	That's a good point.
	It's like Dinesh D'Souza said.
	There have been plenty of people who have committed campaign finance violations.
	And he did do it.
	But he's the only person who went to jail the way he did for doing that.
	Is the law applied equally?
	Are the journalistic standards applied equally?
	And the only person... I love it when you watch House of Cards.
	Or you watch... Actually, House of Cards is actually... I don't see House of Cards for a show that's political, with a bunch of liberals in it.
	It's probably the most apolitical show I think I've watched.
	Yeah.
	As far as just everyone sucks.
	And pretty much all the bad guys are Democrats.
	And Republicans.
	Conway was a bad guy, too.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Conway wasn't a good guy.
	Like, basically, there are no good people.
	It just surprises me, because I thought, I don't want to watch House of Cards because of how liberal... And it wasn't.
	It didn't end up being very liberal.
	It sounded like West Wing would be one that they're pretty hard on.
	West Wing was pretty hard on Republicans.
	You know, Sorkin is.
	And then he did the newsroom, that rant that we rebutted.
	They're really pushing the SE Cup show, I guess.
	Oh, it's on HLN.
	Oh, sorry, SE.
	I'm sorry.
	I like SE Cup, but if you want people to watch it at SE, come on this show.
	We'll promote it for you.
	And HLN will see a rating spike.
	I know that sounds cocky, but HLN, oh, my God, that's where dreams go to die.
	That's true.
	By the way, we already have over 16,000 people watching this.
	That's more than CNN has watching their show.
	No, no, no, no.
	Here's the thing, though.
	It's also not measured the same.
	CNN, just the way they measure it, It's not like a rolling average.
	So remember like election night we had 35 people watching, but once it was archived it was a million people?
	35,000 people.
	We had 35,000 people on election night, but then it was a million people when it was archived.
	Yeah, that's true.
	So it's a different kind of average the way they do it online.
	It's actually accurate.
	There was something else I was going to say.
	That's a good segue into how bad CNN's polls suck in general.
	The ratings are awful.
	funny is cnn ratings are off does anyone's okay hold on a sudden let me look at eighth or tenth of all the news you have some of the responses fan the tweets or do you mean mug club joins yeah i'm not up joins no no i meant responses to the poll let me see here i've got a couple um what does uh from eric says what does u.s condemning the u.s actually entitled though it just seems like political jibber jabber that's the point that's the entire point eric m not pc just c Omission is a lot worse because it's harder to prove them wrong.
	Lies are not a big deal because you can produce the truth.
	That's what I think.
	Here's the thing.
	What I think is actually worse, this guy is the guy on the Bravo network, the queer in the chair.
	That's who this guy is.
	I guess he has a show.
	Well, him and Anderson Cooper.
	You don't think when they yell cut, that just becomes one big Coke-fueled orgy?
	Come on now.
	They replaced Kathy Griffin with this guy and Anderson Cooper.
	I would say Orgy.
	Orgy doesn't imply exclusivity.
	I think theirs is pretty exclusive.
	Anderson Cooper gets out of his straight man voice in the show.
	Yeah.
	And then he catches himself.
	And he would do that every now and then with Kathy Griffin, where he would sit there and he would speak and he would say, well, the New Year's ball is going to...
	Stop it!
	And he would go back to it.
	Watch this.
	When he has a queen like this guy, I don't know the guy's name, but he has that Bravo, What Else Happened, that show, or E!
	Network.
	Someone can let me know who it is.
	Watch.
	Anderson Cooper is going to sound more gay than any New Year's Eve prior.
	Watch.
	Mark my words.
	Mark my words and there will be a compilation of my words and Anderson Cooper acting super gay.
	What is more aggressively aggressive?
	Blatant lies.
	I'm eating.
	Calm Crowder.
	What?
	What's this?
	What is this?
	He spoke today?
	That just said earlier.
	Did Al Franken speak today?
	I guess I didn't know that.
	Now keep in mind we've only been watching CNN today, right?
	I guess the president forgot about that.
	He spoke today?
	Yeah.
	That just said earlier.
	Did all Franken speak today?
	He says he's not going to leave public life, but pretty much pack up and get out.
	This is an example of how much...
	I guess I didn't know that.
	Now, keep in mind, we've only been watching CNN today, right?
	So all of the real news, we don't know about.
	So if Franken spoke earlier today, if it wasn't becoming of the Democratic Party, we didn't see about it.
	And that's a good example today.
	What we know about is only what CNN is telling us.
	So I want you guys to see, if I say, let me ask you this, if I say Al Franken spoke today, do you think of me as an idiot?
	Do I sound uninformed?
	I'm a CNN viewer today.
	I am only a CNN viewer today.
	Yeah, he did.
	He spoke today.
	People saying bias by omission is more egregious in my opinion.
	A lot of people saying that.
	A lot of people answering that poll that way.
	Yeah, a lot of people, you know what, I agree with you.
	You know, a good example would be the Russian pissing prostitute story.
	CNN, Russian pissing prostitutes, or whatever it was, peeing on furniture, peeing on Trump, whatever it was, it was fake.
	And the thing that bothers me is they just move on.
	And when they talk about the Trump dossier, or sometimes they'll even reference it.
	It's like, hold on, do you mean the fake dossier?
	They don't actually reference.
	What the lie was.
	And this is one thing.
	I would love, tweet me, at S. Crowder, and use the hashtag, hashtag CrowderCNNLivestream.
	Why would CNN protect their source?
	The source of false stories that embarrass them?
	Why do you think?
	It doesn't make sense to me.
	This is me going, Jesse Ventura know the facts.
	I better not do that much if I want to.
	No Bernie voice today if I want to make it to the end.
	Why would they protect their source?
	All of them, pretty much.
	Well, yeah, especially when the story was fake, why wouldn't they?
	I mean, it's not like they're not in the business of throwing people under the bus.
	That's all CNN does.
	That's all Barack Obama did.
	He threw everyone under the bus.
	I don't know how to turn off the ding from these notifications.
	Is it bothering anyone?
	Can you hear it on the mic or no?
	No.
	Okay, good.
	Why would they be protecting a source that embarrassed them?
	Unless revealing the source is more damning.
	Unless it's more embarrassing for them.
	It's because, like any bad, like Big Bang Theory, you might have a bad episode, but you've got to keep writing for the next one.
	Yeah, I keep swinging the bat.
	I guess.
	Come up with the next BS.
	It's one weighted bat.
	It's the same sort, just recycled over and over again.
	I don't know, I would like to hear your theories on it.
	Hold on, yeah, we have Sven Computer, said he has something for us.
	What do you have?
	So, Franklin tweeted that he's giving a series of foul speeches.
	A series of foul speeches.
	So that's from yesterday, but that's what he's doing.
	So he's going to beat the drum a little bit.
	So is he not officially resigned?
	Apparently not.
	Am I the only one who thought he had officially resigned?
	Didn't everyone else hear?
	And by the way, I can't hear you.
	I can't hear you.
	Can you hear me now?
	No.
	Beep, beep, bop, bop.
	Okay.
	Oh, hey.
	My algorithm is too good to do beeping.
	Oh yeah, well no.
	No, your AI is not that advanced yet.
	Maybe at contract renewal if you do a good job.
	Alright.
	Beep, beep.
	So didn't you think that Sven Computer?
	Didn't you think he was retired?
	No, because I'm informed.
	You didn't think he resigned?
	Well, he kind of tased the resigning part.
	Beep beep.
	But then it was kind of clear that he said he still had a couple of weeks to go.
	So in the coming weeks, he kind of still left it open.
	So I think he was just waiting for the Roy Moore thing.
	Beep beep bop.
	It always surprises me when people resign.
	The beep beep bop never gets old for me.
	Never gets old.
	But how awkward must it be when you resign and you stick around for months?
	Or weeks?
	That's weird.
	Yeah.
	Hold on a second.
	Do we have a Twitter card for Josh Wolf?
	We're looking at it and people are saying we don't.
	I'm pretty sure we do.
	We got it.
	We don't.
	All right.
	What were you saying before that?
	A series of speeches before you resign?
	Yeah.
	That is weird.
	It seems weird.
	It is weird.
	Like, I am going to resign, but not before I use this pulpit.
	Not before I use this job I have no interest in doing anyway.
	To take pot shots before I leave.
	I mean, can you imagine an employee?
	It's like an employee giving two weeks notice, and then they just start talking mad crap on the boss.
	And you're like, well, listen, you gotta go.
	It's like, but I gave you two weeks notice, you have to give me two weeks.
	Like, you're not doing your job, and you're just coming in, and you pooped on the photocopier.
	You have to leave, Al Franken.
	You defecated on the photocopier.
	No, no, no, I'm taking my two weeks.
	Why don't we just get rid of him?
	I know there's a legal process.
	Hold on, I'm getting a bunch of tweets here.
	January 2nd is going to be his last day.
	Okay, so he said he would resign.
	And people thought he might not do it, I guess, if more loss.
	Okay.
	Yeah, I'm remembering now.
	We've been a little out of the loop because we've been watching CNN preparing for this and also taping the YouTube Carol, so I'm probably the least sharp.
	Today, I guarantee you, I'm the least sharp I've ever been on news because I am only watching CNN.
	I mean, this is something I've realized.
	This is a real disservice.
	I really think that it would be, and probably the same with Fox News, only the difference is people who watch CNN really think they're getting the full scoop because it's the most trusted name in news.
	I think people kind of know what they're getting with Fox News or MSNBC.
	Isn't it alarming how woefully ill-informed, we would be misinformed if we watched CNN as our main news source?
	And there's a lot of people who do that.
	They marry themselves to one network, one source of information.
	I know those kind of people.
	I wouldn't do it if it was Fox or MSNBC.
	I wouldn't do it with any of them.
	Oh no, it's your favorite!
	It's Wolf Blitzer.
	Why do you hate Wolf Blitzer so much?
	I hate him.
	He is... See, you hate the bias by omission, you hate the bomb basketball, I hate the mediocrity.
	He's aggressively mediocre.
	He's really not good at anything.
	And so vanilla.
	He's not good.
	You know what pissed me off the most is back when Hillary was still kind of...
	Trying for the election real hard.
	He interviewed her and he really set it up like he was going to stick it to her, right?
	Right.
	And he asked like, you know, so these Wikileaks, what about these?
	It seems pretty condemning on your blah, blah, blah, blah.
	Well, you know, there's no credibility to those.
	Good enough for me, and he moved on.
	Yeah.
	I was like, that is his career though.
	Right.
	He didn't even try.
	He didn't even try.
	I think we lost the CNN feed.
	Is that sound good?
	We're going to refresh it?
	Yeah, we're going to refresh it, dear.
	All right.
	Someone's telling you to get off your device, you dang kid.
	See, I have a reason to.
	I'm working on the Twitters.
	He's just screwing around.
	He's farting around.
	All right, listen, let's go to some more Mug Club joins, and then we have Josh Wolf coming on relatively soon.
	Live now, 16 hours of fun, a YouTube Carol premiere drop-in.
	Thank you so much, Red in Maryland.
	FFS, you left out the most accurate option.
	Blatant, non-stop spin propaganda in support of the deep state and globalist leftist anti-western agenda, said TruthSplainer.
	Well, the tinfoil hat in that guy's future.
	All right, Sven, you have some, or you know what, Jared, go back over there so you can help with Sven.
	Go back over there so we can get Sven's, you have some sign-ups, right?
	Yes, yes we do.
	Beep beep.
	Recline your seat.
	There's too many buttons.
	There's so many buttons on there, I know.
	We've got Nikki Haley back up, and that's not the right crop.
	Alright, so go back because Edward's about to have a heart attack.
	And we need you to hit the switcher so we can get more Mug Club sign-ups, because we've been having more Mug Club sign-ups.
	Alright, there we go.
	Mug Club sign-ups.
	Who is this, Sven?
	Read out their names.
	Can you read their names?
	I can't read their names because the prompter isn't adjusted properly, so I can't see their names.
	Nicholas Davis, thank you very much.
	Nicholas Davis, hey!
	Rob Walker.
	Rob Walker, keep it on there.
	Rob Walker.
	Hi, Rob Walker.
	David Gepper.
	Gepper.
	David Gepper.
	I don't know the French name, but thank you very much.
	Thank you very much.
	Robert.
	RK711.
	There you go.
	James Cole.
	Who?
	James Cole.
	James Cole.
	How many more of these, Sven?
	Kimi Notoko.
	It's like five more.
	Okay.
	Kimi.
	Hey, thank you, Kimi.
	Axel Ekliburch.
	Thank you.
	You should know that one.
	You're German, Sven Computer.
	Well, I'm trying to pronounce it.
	I can't hear you.
	Beep, beep, boop, boop, go.
	Jonathan Pebble.
	Jonathan Pebble.
	Maxine at Irate Ginger.
	Maxine at Irate Ginger.
	Sorry, you have no soul.
	And the last two guys, Rafael Sampaio and Nick Rowles.
	And Nick Rowles.
	Thank you guys so much.
	Every time you join Mug Club, Mohammed is sexually accosted in the underworld.
	Now when I say underworld, I mean hell.
	So, uh, I'm looking here, reading some of your tweets.
	Thank you so much.
	We have YouTube Carol Segment 3 coming up in not too long.
	We have Josh Wolf who's going to be on the show.
	UN votes 128 to 9 to condemn Trump's Jerusalem decision.
	What is that?
	I don't know what that means!
	I don't know what that means to condemn him!
	How is that a vote?
	Is it a vote to say... Hey, Sven Computer, can you hit me with some research here?
	Because again, I've only been watching... I've only been watching... Not right now.
	We'll do it in a little bit.
	We'll do lunch in a little bit.
	I've only been watching CNN today.
	Is there some kind of resolution?
	Is there some kind of legislation?
	Is there some kind of actual proposal sanctions they're putting on the table?
	Or just to condemn it?
	Is the UN actually going to do anything?
	So I'll leave that to you, and we'll see what we can get here.
	Will the UN actually do anything?
	I'm trying to find this.
	I don't get it.
	I don't get it!
	Why is there a vote?
	Let's bring up the volume here.
	Do you notice, by the way, how they always keep it as close as possible, showing this because it makes Israel look huge?
	Zoom out!
	Do you notice, by the way, how they always keep it as close as possible, showing this because it makes Israel look huge?
	Zoom out.
	Just hit the next minus sign on Google Maps.
	Just one.
	And you'll be like, oh, oh.
	And it's, wait, hold on a second.
	And it's everyone here who wants, not just Israel, but all Jews?
	I like the message that Nikki sent yesterday at the United Nations for all of these nations that take our money and then they vote against us at the Security Council.
	Good, good.
	Or they vote against us potentially at the Assembly.
	They take hundreds of millions of dollars, and even billions of dollars, and then they vote against us.
	Well, we're watching those votes.
	Let them vote against us.
	We'll save a lot.
	We don't care.
	But this isn't like it used to be, where they could vote against you, and then you pay them hundreds of millions of dollars, and nobody knows what they're doing.
	Good!
	Good!
	This is the kind of thing I like from President Trump.
	Not tweeting, and not saying, oh, I have the best athlete, but saying, alright, you want to vote against us?
	Fine.
	We're just not going to give you money.
	That's a threat from the President.
	Well, I think if you're talking about Egypt or Jordan... Egypt, which receives more than a billion dollars in U.S.
	economic... Correct.
	Not anymore!
	...which also receives a significant amount of... Hundreds of millions of dollars.
	Right.
	And both these countries are partners of the United States when it comes to fighting terror.
	You know what?
	Here's my opinion on that.
	Oh, Egypt's fighting terror?
	Not enough.
	Egypt sucks.
	You know what?
	You fight terror because you're fighting certain sects.
	If you still have death for apostasy, you still don't get any money.
	But we're technically fighting ISIS because of our political... I don't care.
	Hey, no more Sharia law?
	A few bad apples doesn't spoil the whole country.
	Who cares about state?
	That's Sven Computer.
	Remember, I can't hear you.
	Beep, beep.
	Yeah, good.
	Jared, if you can bring it up.
	So obviously we saw on CNN just a second ago.
	They voted in favor of condemning what President Trump did.
	But it's null and void.
	So basically it's non-binding, and as Haley already pointed out, we have it here.
	Haley says that despite the result of the vote, BB, the United States will go forward with moving the embassy to Jerusalem.
	So there's no action?
	No.
	So we've just spent four hours on a vote that is just saying, ooooh.
	Which makes it even more amazing that 128 nations would kind of go on the record as anti-Semites.
	And the fact that that German accent makes it so...
	I can't believe there would be some countries that would have problems with the Jews.
	I just, I can't even fathom it.
	I can't even.
	I don't even.
	It does not compute.
	In Germany, we don't.
	We feel so bad.
	We give them what they say here.
	This is for Jew.
	It's like a pun, but retribution.
	This is amazing to me.
	Now listen, if this seems a little useless, if you feel like you're getting bored at some points because of the Christmas news cycle, that's the point.
	We do a show, a nightly show, right?
	Jared knows this.
	We do a nightly show.
	We don't have to talk a bunch of bullcrap all day.
	They're talking about a non-binding UN resolution to condemn us recognizing the embassy, which by the way, in Jerusalem, it was already signed!
	It was already signed as a bill!
	And there's that map again!
	There's that map again!
	Hey, Sven, can you do me a favor?
	Bring up a map of Israel just slightly further out than that, and let's highlight everyone who wants to kill Israel.
	And that's another lie by omission, right?
	If you zoom in, you're like... For example, right here.
	If you were to zoom in to, I don't know, let's say the state of... I'm trying to think of what's nearby.
	What would be nearby.
	Okay, you zoom in to the state of Maine.
	Right?
	To the point where you just see the corner of the other northeastern states that border Maine.
	You're like, oh my god, Maine's, it's humongous.
	Yeah.
	But then you zoom out and you're like, oh, and New York and Connecticut and Vermont and New Jersey, they all want to kill Maine.
	You'd be like, well, they stand no chance.
	But if you do the zoom in, that's a lie by omission.
	This is the kind of stuff that happens day in and day out.
	And it's also what's really telling, right?
	Send me your tweets.
	Hashtag CrowderCNN live stream.
	We're reading them live.
	And please join Mug Club.
	It's the only way we can continue to do this.
	If it seems like an exercise in futility, this is.
	The whole purpose right now is to show you, A, there's not that much to talk about in a 24-hour news cycle.
	And so they have to manufacture.
	news, right?
	They have to manufacture news.
	It doesn't really matter.
	And what do they do with that?
	Every single time when it comes to manufacturing, it comes out of the liberal propaganda factory.
	It comes out with the small little maps.
	So you see Israel as though it looks like it's more than the size of half of the state of Roleidon.
	It comes out from the liberal propaganda factory in the vote you see to condemn Trump's decision that's non-binding.
	It It comes out in the liberal propaganda factory in that they've never mentioned Geranium One.
	It comes out in the propaganda factory in that they've never discussed the 1995 resolution and every single president saying they would recognize Jerusalem as the capital of Israel and that it would be its embassy.
	It comes out from the liberal factory in nine million tiny Tims dead, right?
	There's not much in the news.
	So if there's not much in the news, They manufacture it and it's always left.
	That's what bothers me from CNN.
	Yeah, I think at Sven Computer has the overlay here, right?
	For the Israel.
	Yes, so this is all the nations around Israel and their relations to them.
	So most of these nations around Israel, but they just don't even have relations.
	Where's Israel in there?
	It's so small you can't see because it's buried right here down there.
	And those are all the nations that want to kill them?
	Pretty much, yeah.
	What does green mean versus the red?
	Green means good relations, so there's like a couple of countries that... Not anymore?
	Yeah.
	Egypt shouldn't... That's an old map, because Egypt and Israel... Yeah, this might be like a year old, but you know, like limited relations, like it's most countries, and no relations.
	Yeah.
	No, Saudi Arabia and Egypt are strained now.
	And by the way, they might have good relations, but they also support country... The other... Here's the thing.
	The two greens still support all the other X's, often depending on the month, right?
	So this is, zoom out, let's zoom out here.
	Put us where Israel is, okay?
	So point us where Israel is, Sven.
	- I put it over here.
	- Yeah, it's right under that blue thing.
	- It's the what?
	- Right in the center screen there.
	- Right, right in the center, okay.
	Now that's Israel, the little blue thing, okay?
	So it looks on the screen, it fills the whole screen on CNN, right?
	It's that little blue thing.
	Okay, now that's Israel.
	Now zoom out to all the nations around Israel that actually want to eradicate either Israel or all Jews.
	Zoom out.
	So remember, that little thing was Israel.
	Hold on, you gotta center it here.
	That little thing was Israel.
	Look at this.
	All of them want them dead, and now you can basically put Egypt on that list.
	Saudi Arabia's Eddie Hasfield.
	Iran, for example, is not even on here.
	You know, other nations to the right.
	Iran, Pakistan, they all want to have the Jews gone.
	So why don't you show that now, CNN?
	So too, Israel's haters.
	Here's a point.
	If you're in Israel, right, you see the sunrise, you go, oh, it's going over nations that want to kill us.
	And then you see the sunset, and you go, oh, it's going down over nations that want to kill us.
	That's it.
	All of it.
	Midnight Friday deadline looming on government shutdown.
	Okay, hold on a second.
	What do we got here?
	Kroner scene in the left room.
	All right.
	Apparently we're trending in Seattle, so keep it going.
	I'm going to take a lunch break.
	So I'm going to take a lunch break first.
	I'm going to pass off to ‑‑ is Courtney ready?
	Let me see.
	Never mind.
	We'll do Josh Wolfe.
	Okay.
	- See what time is it now? - Josh Wolf.
	- Oh, nevermind.
	We'll do Josh Wolf.
	Okay, while I do Josh Wolf, you guys can start eating lunch, and then after that, we'll go to someone else.
	So you can be eating lunch, but... Alright, hold on.
	Lunch lady!
	Lunch lady!
	Garçon!
	Actually, it'd be femme.
	It'd be lady.
	The lunch lady's my wife.
	Femme.
	If you join Mug Club, I won't have to have my wife fetch us lunch in a 16-hour livestream.
	So you need to eat there.
	You know, you have to eat there.
	Yeah, that's fine.
	And then I'm gonna leave to eat lunch somewhere else.
	Because you've all had bathroom breaks much longer than me.
	No, no, they're gonna do lunch first.
	They're gonna do lunch first because I have to get on the phone with Josh Wolfe.
	Thank you!
	Just bring everyone lunch.
	Everyone's lunch but mine.
	And if you could just put mine in the microwave, I'll eat it a little later.
	But I gotta host Josh Wolfe.
	Stephen Molyneux was right.
	I need to form a union against myself.
	What?
	Not a bad idea.
	By the way, when it comes to the government shutdown, you know, CNN, they're acting like the Republicans are the ones who are in trouble.
	They actually introduced a short-term spending bill to fund the government, I think, through, what is it?
	January 19th.
	The Democrats just need to sign off on it.
	That's it.
	So there won't be any shutdown until after 19th.
	Votes?
	That's it.
	The vote is today.
	I haven't seen that mentioned on CNN at all.
	As a matter of fact, I didn't know that that vote was today until Reg just sent it to me because I'm watching CNN.
	If I'm watching CNN, I am not only ill-informed, I'm not uninformed.
	You're probably worse off.
	I am misinformed.
	So keep this in mind, people.
	Get this to everyone who watches CNN right now.
	Hashtag CrowderCNNLivestream.
	Send this to your relatives who watch CNN and think that it's honestly straightforward.
	I want you to send this along because I want to expose to the world how biased CNN is.
	Let's also add this to the hit list here.
	Sven and Reg that they're not even even mentioning the fact that there's a short-term spending bill to fund us through January 19th.
	It hasn't even been mentioned uranium one hasn't been mentioned this hasn't been mentioned.
	It's unbelievable to me that this is a news network.
	I mean, are you gonna say it's it's not fit?
	It's not you're discussing about you're discussing the government shutdown, right?
	Yeah, so you lose the argument like well, we didn't think it was fit.
	Well, no, you thought it was fit to talk about the government shutdown all day.
	And how much water we should drink, right?
	How much wine?
	How much wine we should drink?
	You thought it was fit to talk about government shutdown all day, and then you didn't include the fact that Republicans have already put something before you to completely prevent a government shutdown January 19th, and it's just the vote is today?
	You can't tell me that it wasn't news fit to cover.
	Alright, do we have Josh Wolfe on the line?
	Yep, we're ready.
	Josh Wolfe, are you there, sir?
	I'm here, man.
	How you doing?
	Not well.
	Well, listen, I'm just judging by what you're wearing.
	I'm not doing well either.
	Yeah, well, listen, yeah, that's fair.
	Although I had to take off at one point my firearm chastity belt because it got to be too constraining.
	No, I've been watching CNN now for... five and a half?
	About five hours?
	Too long.
	Five hours, and I'm starting to lose my mind.
	Now listen, you're a good example.
	You're more like of a moderate.
	Yeah.
	What is your view on CNN?
	By the way, your Twitter is JoshWolfComedy, right?
	Yeah, at JoshWolfComedy, yeah.
	At JoshWolfComedy.
	What's your impression of CNN?
	Well, I honestly don't watch it because it's...
	Okay, it's not news.
	And listen, you know me, I'm more moderate, for sure.
	Right.
	But it's just the same three or four people sitting on a panel complaining all day, and I have better things to do with my life.
	You know what I mean?
	Well, not necessarily, but I think I understand the sentiment.
	I don't have anything better to do today.
	I have 16 hours of this.
	You know, here's the thing, though.
	I want to know how you decided how many buttons to unbutton on that thing.
	Like, right now you're at two.
	Yeah.
	No, this is just one.
	Oh, that's just one?
	It's just one.
	See, if I button the top one, the problem is it still does the same thing.
	It just looks weird.
	So I'm like, I might as well give it more.
	You know, I can unbutton all the way down to the sternum and sit here.
	Now I look like Stripper Santa.
	That's how you watch CNN.
	Well, just as you say it, Anderson Cooper and that gay host from what's the Bravo or Eat Show, what also happened last... Andy Cohen.
	Andy Cohen, yeah.
	They're both doing the New Year's... I think you should name one nipple Anderson and the other one Cooper.
	And then you should just talk to him and rub him as you watch CNN.
	Alright, listen, I know you're new.
	You probably haven't been watching a ton.
	Do you want me to give you just kind of a brief hit list of CNN today?
	Sure.
	I've been sleeping.
	Yeah, I can tell.
	The reason we've been doing this is because I've always maintained that CNN is the liberalism, the bias by omission.
	A lot of people think of them as news.
	I don't care about MSNBC or Fox News.
	You know who they are.
	We're pretty honest about You know, listen, I'm biased.
	If you want to fact check me, tell me I'm wrong.
	We try and provide as many sources.
	I think that's the only way to do it.
	I think it's pretty impossible to not have inherent biases.
	So with CNN today, by the way, I am the least informed I've ever been on news.
	I've been wrong about key issues because I've been watching it since the moment I've been up.
	So just give an idea.
	These are things that CNN has done today.
	We just talked about those Stefan Molyneux.
	So let me hit it really fast.
	Uh, they've been stoking the Russian hysteria with the idea that Trump's going to fire Mueller.
	He said yesterday he wasn't going to fire Mueller.
	They only mentioned it today about 40 minutes ago.
	Adam Schiff was on for the Mueller probe.
	He, nine months ago, mentioned there was evidence.
	There's never been any evidence.
	No mention at all of Uranium One.
	That's the Hillary Clinton uranium deal.
	It's been trending number one on Twitter all day.
	No mention of the Melbourne attacker.
	Uh, they just said a Melbourne guy ran his truck into, uh, some holiday shoppers, not Christmas shoppers.
	They didn't mention he was Afghani Saeed Nouri, not even mentioned.
	They said 9 million Tiny Tims will die because Republicans don't want to fund the CHIP program, Child Health Care Initiative.
	That's not true.
	They actually put, uh, uh, uh, legislation before... They did say Tiny Tims.
	They did say Tiny Tims.
	They did say Tiny Tims.
	Not that Jared has his mouth full, but he can vouch.
	They said Tiny Timms.
	That's true.
	Oh, and also, just for what it's worth, CNN homepage, you got UN condemns Trump's Jerusalem decision, and no space for Mueller or any other things, but we got some space for Prince Harry and Meghan Markle reveal engagement photos.
	Then they said, okay, let me- Let me wrap this up.
	Mysterious death of Border Patrol.
	Cause unknown.
	Well the only suspects are two illegal immigrant drug cartels.
	And then they have been talking about the Israel resolution passed by the UN.
	No mention at all in 1995 how over 300 something to 90 there was a vote to recognize the embassy in Jerusalem and every single president has said that Jerusalem is the capital.
	And then they're also talking about the government shutdown.
	No mention of the fact that Republicans have actually introduced a clean short-term spending bill to fund us through Uh, January 19th.
	So the point is, they've covered all the issues, but they just have so selectively provided information, it is not- Everything has been a lie.
	Well, here's my thing with news, and I don't think there's fake news, man.
	I think what you said is the right word.
	There's biased news.
	And every news outlet provides biased news, which is a problem for me, because you're already putting it through a filter instead of just relating what's happened.
	And I think That is the basic problem, because people don't want the news to give them facts, they want the news to back up their point of view.
	And I think going into news that way is inherently bad.
	But isn't it worse though, isn't it worse for, my point is, the reason we chose CNN is because if we were to say we're going to tune into MSNBC, there would be no surprises people like well yeah of course he's going to say that but if you watched cnn today for example you would genuinely have no idea that every single president has recognized jerusalem as the capital of israel going back to clinton you would genuinely have no idea that the republicans are not trying to kill nine million tiny teams you would genuinely have no idea that they've said you don't need a government shutdown let's Let's sign this bill right now.
	Vote today to fund us through January 19th.
	I think that's so much worse than Keith Olbermann yelling, draping himself in the American flag about how much he hates Republicans because people think this is straight down the middle.
	That's my problem.
	I agree with that 100%.
	I just want to know who okayed the term 9 million Tiny Tims.
	That's really where, I mean, that's the problem.
	I can't, every time you say it, I can't get past, like, 9 million kids with these wooden, like, crutches, you know what I mean?
	Like, who's lining up the 9 million Tiny Tims?
	If only it weren't for the Republicans, Father, my TB would have been fixed.
	I honestly think, and I was talking to your brother about this two days ago when we talked on the phone.
	You know what I think would fix politics across the board on both sides?
	And you're someone who takes jiu-jitsu and has taken some martial arts, right?
	Yes.
	My problem is, is I think most politicians, and I can tell by the way they talk and their smug fucking faces, that they've never been punched in the face.
	Everybody should get punched in the face one time as a consequence for something stupid they've said.
	Well, I think... See how brave they are.
	I think they should get their ass kicked.
	Because a punch in the face can just be nothing.
	But I mean, actually get their asses kicked.
	I think so.
	Just because it's like, you have any idea what you just said?
	You just insulted an entire nation of people!
	You get your ass kicked!
	Just once!
	I think everybody, in my view, the world would be better if everybody had to work in the service industry for a year, everybody had to wait tables or do something like that for a year, and everybody got their ass kicked one time.
	Just one time.
	It would change the entire way people talk to each other.
	My boxing coach hit me really hard in the liver because I said that I thought Chinatown was a better movie than The Godfather that year, and he's Italian.
	So I get my ass kicked all the time.
	I think Chinatown's a better film.
	Don't get me wrong, he's a raping, quaalude creep, Roman Polanski, but I think Chinatown was better.
	I will tell you how good of a fighter I am, ready?
	The last fight I was in, this is how I decided I shouldn't fight anymore.
	The last fight I was in, I got hit twice.
	Once here, and once here.
	Because when he hit me here, I was like, man, I don't like this, and I turned around and he hit me one time when I was running away.
	It's actually good, though.
	You gave him your helmet to hit, but yeah.
	No, I didn't get my... Go ahead.
	Yeah, go ahead.
	No, no, I'm tired.
	You take the reins.
	The less I have to talk right now, the better.
	I will say that, see, for me, the ass-kicking makes you... gives you a little bit of trepidation, at least.
	Do you think Trump's kids have ever been punched in the face?
	No, I don't think Trump has ever had his ass kicked either.
	And I think that you can tell with that bravado of somebody who's said things to people and just never had a consequence.
	And I think that's bad, you know what I mean?
	Yeah.
	Do you remember the time you got punched in the face?
	Yes, I remember exactly.
	Where were you?
	Where were you the first time you got punched in the face?
	I was in the locker room at Centennial Regional High School.
	I was in the locker room with a bunch of his friends, yeah.
	And do you remember, it woke you up a little bit, didn't it?
	You were like, oh shit!
	Yeah, only he was the one who was talking crap and then also punched me in the face.
	And I learned that one, I learned that lesson the hard way.
	Sometimes you can try and avoid it and they just corner you in the locker room where there are no teachers.
	But it definitely did change my outlook, yeah.
	Right?
	Because you were like, oh, I could get punched.
	I remember the last time I took an ass kicking.
	I was in Seattle and I was running my mouth, man.
	I was running my mouth.
	And the dude just kind of shook his head like, hey man, you know, I would stop this.
	And I was like, what are you going to do?
	And he caught me on the chin.
	You know, the chin shot that makes it go night night?
	Yeah.
	That's on the side here.
	That's the button.
	So he hit my button.
	The next thing I remember was waking up with a couple of well-placed shoes in the rib shot.
	I think he pissed off Boss Rudin.
	It's just commercial.
	Yeah, obviously we're not talking legislatively, but I do think this political ruling class, these are people who just haven't really been challenged to the same degree, and that's what bothers me.
	Let me ask you this before we go, because obviously I know that you've worked with Chelsea Handler quite a bit, and I don't want to put you on the spot, but she's got a lot of flack recently because she did some stand-up, which I was fine with, but it was, you know, it was seen as... she was making fun of black people.
	But everyone gave... A recent stand?
	Recent, yeah, it was her saying, like, someone making fun of black people.
	And it was totally Chelsea Handler stuff.
	But it's because she tweeted out that anyone who makes racist jokes should be jailed.
	And so she was really upset because people went after her.
	And I got to wonder, you know, like with this stuff, like, how long until liberals, like you said, you were kind of more liberal, kind of moderate, but how long until liberals realize that this is biting them in the ass now?
	If you say people should be jailed for offensive things, they're coming for every comedian always.
	Yeah, I, as a comic, I feel like my stage is really the last bastion of free speech.
	And I always feel like if you walk into a comedy club and you get insulted or offended, that's your problem.
	That's not my problem.
	And I, but I don't, I'm not okay with comics or anybody who decides that what they say is an offensive, but the other people saying it are being offensive.
	Do you know what I mean?
	Either you're offended by everything or nothing, but you can't laugh at the black jokes if you're not gonna laugh at the woman jokes, or you can't laugh at the fat jokes if you're not gonna laugh at the Mexican jokes.
	That is not, in my mind, that is not okay.
	I laughed my ass off with the, uh, do you know the Hodge twins?
	Have you ever seen them on YouTube?
	Yeah, they're so fun.
	Well, they were here and they were in they were in the YouTube carol that we're doing.
	I just about pissed myself laughing because like the very the very I wrote a script.
	Right.
	And they were and I wrote it for them.
	I was like, I wrote around the Hodge twins.
	I was telling the story earlier.
	And so I wrote it, you know, them arguing and I wrote, you know, them are and I wrote N dash dash dash a like he was going to because they call each other that.
	And I was like, listen, you don't have to say it.
	I was just trying to think to write in your voice.
	He's like, yeah, man, I got you.
	And I wrote it once toward the end of the script.
	The very first line out of his mouth, he's like, at least that's what you've been telling us, niggas.
	And I'm like, OK, this is going to be fine.
	This is fine.
	I don't know what I was worried about.
	Yeah, I know.
	And someone right now could say, he just said the N-word.
	Yep!
	I'm quoting exactly what they said.
	It was in the script.
	That one wasn't even in the script.
	No, it wasn't even in the script.
	They said it so many more times.
	And even I felt a little stupid after that.
	Like, you know what?
	These guys know I'm not writing this to be racist.
	These guys, I said, I'm going to write this in your voice, and then you kind of make it your own.
	And so it was, bitch this, and make some gains that, and you know.
	Here's the deal.
	Here's how you can tell, for me.
	Here's how you can tell that no matter what anybody says, it's not the word, it's the intent.
	Right.
	Right?
	Because if we say the N-word is the worst word that you can say to a black person, if it was simply the word, then nobody would be able to say the N-word.
	Hold on one second, one second, one second, we have to hold this, hold on.
	Russian investigation, it's breaking, Josh.
	Yeah.
	Hold on.
	Oh, no!
	Look at, whoa.
	Oh, I said Mueller.
	That's right, Mueller.
	Oh, never mind.
	There's no, there's nothing breaking.
	They're bringing up the exact same information from later, like, Democrats don't think he should be fired.
	I love how they have a custom graphic for Russia investigation.
	They literally have a, yeah.
	It's like, this is their go-to.
	This is a branded segment.
	They created an After Effects.
	They should blend Fox and MSNBC and have one host from each and then they can just give Each of their sides on a story.
	Right.
	Do you know what I mean?
	Yeah.
	I've thought about that before, actually, just like having, I've thought about it on our website for a day, just having it be two columns, all the liberal sites and all the conservative sites covering the exact same stories, because that's how we do our show pitches.
	I go, oh, this story came, and if it came, nine times out of ten, we use the liberal sources.
	Oh, this came from UFPO.
	Oh, this came from Salon.
	And then I go to Daily Wire.
	I go to see the exact same story to see how both, as a matter of fact, when I have my Google Home, which is always on mute or unplugged, but in the morning I say, good morning, Google.
	And it gives me news of the day.
	I have it set to PBS, and then Fox News, and then BBC, and then, ah, that's it.
	There's no other conservative one.
	So I have two liberal ones and the Fox News, and side by side, and I will listen to it, say, from PBS at, you know, 4.45 a.m.
	Yeah.
	I think everybody should, instead of just reading headlines.
	Yeah.
	of a truck into a crowd of holiday shoppers and it'll be fox news fair and balanced at 5 45 p.m and afghani man's name sakhi nori ran you know i'm like oh i'm hearing the exact same story side by side so that's what i try and do i wish everyone did it because i think everybody should instead of just reading headlines yeah or breaking news we have i will say though wolf blitzer i mean i feel like he's really as far as the head
	the beard hair combo length i think he's at his all-time best right now Right now?
	It's really all blended in.
	Yeah.
	It looks like a one-piece.
	You think he ages like a fine wine?
	I think he went through a rough patch and I No, I think he ages like my wife when she graduated college.
	My father-in-law had a port that he'd been saving.
	It was like from 1964.
	And it had been in the family forever.
	And we did it at our college graduation, a nice seafood restaurant.
	And he put the corkscrew in and the cork just disintegrated.
	It was so brittle.
	It was ruined.
	So I think Wolf Blitzer ages like that port.
	Can I tell you my brother once we went to we were huge Red Sox fans and we grew up with no money and I remember one time You know, we all caught up like a basically a Peter Pan bus Which is a Greyhound bus from our small town of Massachusetts Right to Fenway Park and my brother got to see a game and he caught a foul ball You know the odds of catching a foul ball, right?
	Right And he's like eight or nine.
	He's psyched and he's got it up on a mantle until he's like 14.
	And he's always like, I'm giving this to my kid.
	Well, I was like 12.
	And I couldn't find a baseball to go to the park to play with.
	So I was like, well, I'll just take this one.
	And I'll bring it back. - Right.
	You know how long it lasted?
	About eight seconds, and we lost it in the woods.
	Now ask your brother how much of an ass-kicking you would have gotten if you had stolen that off of his... Oh my god.
	So I tried to replace it with a different ball.
	It was like that scene from Risky Business, dude.
	It was like the scene from The Sandlot.
	It's the exact scene from The Sandlot.
	I think you're telling me the story of The Sandlot.
	No, so I threw it away.
	I threw it into the woods, right?
	Yeah.
	He comes back.
	I put my dad, because my dad caught a...
	I got hit hard.
	Yeah, by your brother.
	Because we had a rule, no neck up.
	No, no, that's a brother rule, yeah.
	I got hit one solid punch in the chest.
	He said, I'm going to hit you every day I remember this.
	So he hit me hard in the chest for like a good two and a half, three months, dude.
	Just he would wake up and be like, oh yeah.
	I was like, oh yeah, I won't do that anymore.
	So you're saying that needs to happen to Wolf Blitzer.
	All right.
	We do have to go.
	But one more thing.
	I love what it says right here.
	Right now it says GOP lawmaker says President Trump won't fire Mueller.
	Well, no, no, no shit.
	Donald Trump said that.
	They said it yesterday.
	I know, I gotta go.
	Alright, at joshwulfcomedy, thank you so much for being here.
	So where will you be performing next live for people who want to follow you?
	I'm actually going to be in Buffalo, and Owen is going to come down and do some guest sets with me.
	Okay.
	In Buffalo at Helium in the middle of January.
	Go to ComedianJoshWolf.com for tour dates.
	I'm at JoshWolfComedy, and I've got a really cool podcast with Freddie Prinze Jr.
	called Prince and the Wolf.
	It's on iTunes.
	All right.
	Thank you so much for being here, Josh.
	We must go.
	Bye, bye, bye, bye.
	I can't believe it's now GOP Lawmaker.
	It seems to me the trend here And then I'm going to go get lunch, and then you're going to bring Courtney on to just fill in while I grab lunch.
	It seems to be the trend just to get people really upset about things that either aren't happening, are very unlikely to happen, or things that would inevitably happen anyway but aren't anything new so that people get upset.
	So it's like, ugh, Donald Trump could fire Mueller.
	Can you believe this?
	And it's like, well, it's not going to happen.
	But they want people to be really mad about it.
	Yeah.
	They want people to be like, ugh.
	Oh, Donald Trump recognizes the embassy of Jerusalem as the capital of Israel.
	But that's nothing new.
	That's always been the case.
	They just want people to get mad about things, period.
	It's like high school.
	It's like high school drama, but, you know, stuff that affects nuclear bombs and such.
	I mean, all of these stories are delivered in a way Reg was talking to me about this.
	They're just designed to get people mad.
	Yeah.
	I think Fox News is guilty of that too.
	Cable News is guilty of that.
	I think doing it with comedy, you know, for people who've joined Mug Club when we do it every night, we're not beholden to that.
	We don't need you to be mad.
	We don't need you to be angry.
	We don't necessarily even need you to feel like you've had a great political victory.
	We just need you to feel entertained and laugh.
	There's one thing that always does bother me about conservatives too.
	The kind of prehensile idea that outrage is the only emotion we can explore.
	That's true, that's a good point.
	And I feel like there are other ways to make points and educate people and inform that don't rely on just the outrage machine.
	Right.
	In fairness, conservatives are just guilty of that as liberals.
	Yeah, conservatives are just as guilty of it.
	My thing is, I think everyone knows Fox News.
	And again, the reason everyone knows Fox News is so biased is because of things like CNN and New York Times.
	Everyone calls out Fox News.
	But who's calling out CNN?
	Us.
	That's it.
	No one out now, everyone kind of is, but for years, if you go back and listen to our podcast, if you're not, it's only on audio because it wasn't on YouTube, but you go back three years ago, you will hear us bitching about CNN.
	This was long before Trump, long before he ever ran.
	This was in the era of Barack Obama.
	No one was complaining about CNN.
	Trump shined a light on it because he went after them.
	Unfortunately, he went after them probably because of personal reasons.
	But before that, who's going after, everyone's going after Fox News.
	It's like, it's an ideological monopoly.
	Yeah.
	No.
	You know, we talk about government media.
	No one calls us out, government media.
	Yeah, no one calls out.
	Who's there to call out PBS?
	No one's there.
	Unless you have this, you know, little online channel or something.
	There's no one there to call them out.
	PBS.
	PBS.
	Well, the point is, you get it.
	You know, everyone thinks NPR is straightened down the middle of the Capitol.
	I listen to NPR because government tells me the truth.
	Yeah, there you go, Buckaroo.
	So, listen, bring up the overlay.
	LotterosCreditor.com slash MugClub.
	$69 for students, veterans, military.
	$99 annually if you just don't have any of those discount codes.
	But it's Christmas, so right now you can be a student.
	We have it?
	It's going up?
	It's going up.
	I don't see it.
	There we go.
	We're the ones here.
	16 hours calling out CNN.
	I get it.
	There's going to be 45 minutes here or there where nothing is happening.
	That's why we're filling it with great guests, some sketches, some games, right?
	We're trying to make this as fun for you as possible.
	But the point of this is something that could not be proven any other way.
	It couldn't be proven any other way outside of sitting down for 16 hours and showing you CNN.
	And watching CNN so that you can see the bias occur in real time all day.
	It can't happen through a blog post.
	It can't happen through a cable news segment.
	I have to sit here for 16 hours to show you guys so you can see how bad it is, to see what it is.
	For someone who doesn't know, someone who's apolitical, we have the left and we have the right and then there's this huge swath of people in the middle who just flip on the CNN and think they're getting a straight story.
	It could not be shown any other way, and the only way we're able to do this is through Mug Club.
	I can't have a full-time job and do this.
	I can't be mentally adjusted and do this.
	So, lightoffclatter.com slash Mug Club.
	Do we have a break that we can go to?
	We do.
	We're going to get a word from our sponsors, and then we'll be back with Courtney.
	Yeah, we'll go to a word from our sponsors, and then Courtney and Jared, they're going to pinch hit for me for a little bit while I just eat some lunch, and then I'll be right back.
	Thank you so much.
	Keep it going.
	Hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.
	Okay, so SimpliSafe's big selling point is that it's mostly wireless and you can install it, even a dope like me, in under an hour.
	or if we're going to put that to the test.
	Central location.
	This is a central location.
	But there's my wife's essential oil diffuser.
	So I have to decide between Being safe, potentially not mugged, murdered, raped in my sleeve.
	Or the smell of nutmeg. - Starting your system in touch mode. - This is my old bag of security.
	Well, hopefully we don't get robbed by any midgets.
	So that sound is clearly obnoxious, but I think that's the point.
	It took less than 40 minutes to get everything installed.
	We didn't have glass break sensors, which in one area will be useful, so we're going to order those.
	And having worked with other alarm systems that were wired into a house, this was a lot easier and certainly seems reliable.
	Everything that we've tested works.
	So simplysafe.com slash Crowder, you get $200 off right now.
	And I gotta say, I'm pretty impressed.
	Plus I have an excuse to unplug the essential oil diffuser, which was really annoying.
	SimpliSafe.com.
	I hate you.
	Oh, oh, oh, oh, Donner!
	I just came over to congratulate you on the baby boy!
	Oh, you should be ashamed of yourself, Donner!
	Who ever heard of a red-nosed reindeer?
	That's messed up, Santa.
	That's borderline racist.
	Well, I am Aryan.
	Yeah, I noticed with the lawsuit last year.
	Well, who ever heard of a negro elf?
	And we are back with the suffering and the pain and all of those things which I wish not to bear for myself.
	But we are also back with Courtney Kirchhoff who's here to make it a little more bearable.
	Courtney, sweetheart.
	Hello.
	How are we?
	How are you doing?
	I'm good.
	I'm going to close the Skype image so I don't have to see myself, I guess.
	That's all it is.
	You haven't done that in a while.
	I'm going to move it over so that I just see your smiling little face.
	My little elf hat.
	You guys are dark in there.
	It's the only way to deal with the suffering because if we fooled ourselves with too much light, we would trick ourselves into thinking we are in a more pleasant place than we actually are.
	So we like to keep it real.
	So you're just going all in on hell.
	All in on hell and deathy.
	I always thought about that.
	Wouldn't hell actually be like really bright if it's full of fire?
	Not darkness.
	I think it'd be like dark, like a maroon flame.
	Or like dark fire.
	Like you can't see where the fire is coming from.
	I mean, these are just my thoughts on hell if we're going to talk about it.
	Hell looks like this in reality.
	Just this.
	That's what hell looks like.
	Are we regretting the 16-hour thing?
	Yes.
	Because it seems like this could have been accomplished in like six.
	I'm regretting all the things.
	All of our fans are regretting all the things.
	I'm so sorry.
	They're actually sending their mugs back for teaching them anything.
	This was a wise decision.
	What's been your biggest takeaway so far?
	Say again?
	I was trying to interrupt you.
	I was going to ask, what's your biggest takeaway today from the CNN non-stopness?
	Well, I'm not surprised.
	First of all, it's the Christmas cycle.
	Things aren't really happening, and those things that are happening run contrary to CNN's narrative.
	So Nikki Haley is just lighting up the UN.
	And tax reform went through, and everybody's kind of happy about it, so CNN is just trying to focus on the Mueller, Mueller, Mueller, or anything that they don't like.
	It's not going well for CNN, but I don't think anything ever does.
	I mean, they have Wolf Blitzer.
	Chris Cuomo.
	I want to see Steven bend Chris Cuomo over.
	I think he would enjoy that.
	I think Chris would enjoy that too much.
	Do it like he was in prison.
	I think that's part of the problem.
	That's what I want to see.
	I think he'd be digging that.
	He likes it.
	Do it to me.
	I know.
	I had a phone conversation with Steven yesterday and he was talking about what he wanted to do to Chris Cuomo.
	I'm like, okay.
	Okay.
	This is good.
	This is going to be good.
	I can't say it on air because you know it's like a Me Too kind of an issue.
	Yeah.
	Oh wait, Wolf!
	Wolf!
	President Trump from winning last year's election and they're not calling for an investigation.
	He kind of looks like for a perspective.
	He kind of looks like Obi-Wan Kenobi, but just gayer.
	It looks like a bridge troll in a suit.
	Look at that, too.
	Like one of Santa's elves got promoted.
	Like you're not sure how to handle it, but this guy just outworked all the other elves and landed a job at CNN in New York.
	Just like every elf's dream.
	So that's a Photoshop, but I want a Photoshop of Wolf Blitzer as a cast member of The Hobbit or one of the Fellowship of the Rings.
	I want to see Wolf marching on Mordor.
	Yeah.
	If somebody could do that Photoshop for us.
	I'll retweet it.
	I'm running Steven's Twitter today, so I have all the power.
	That's good.
	That's some real power.
	Who's this?
	Who's this?
	I don't know.
	Juana Summers.
	Okay, in a not racist way, what kind of hairstyle would you call that?
	I love how we read all of our really in-depth commentary with just ad hominem attacks.
	That hairdo, those glasses.
	If I go to my hairdresser and I say I'm done with the layers, I'm done with the white girl layers, how would I request that haircut?
	What words would I use?
	I don't know, like a, uh, like an overgrown ranch style house bush.
	That's a genre.
	Google image that.
	I'm sure exactly what you're thinking in your head.
	That's what pops up.
	First Google search.
	What do you think it takes to become one of these, like... There's the main host, right?
	There's the Anderson Coopers and Chris Poole boys of the world.
	But there's also like this second tier, second, third tier of just no-name political commentators.
	Are these just communication majors who just found a... had a good contact?
	How does one become a... one of these no-named nobody political analysists?
	It could have been they slept with somebody.
	Okay.
	Or there was maybe like a pool going on and it was the next poor schlub who got to go next.
	I think, I would say with the women they needed to be, I'm not going to say that, but that's... If you're filtering yourself, you know it's bad.
	I'm like, wait a second.
	I can't say that as a woman.
	Women, they're not the fox women.
	So let's just leave it there.
	We don't have the glass cam for Erwine looking up underneath the transparent table.
	No, no.
	I'm sorry.
	They're fine looking women.
	They're just not Megyn Kelly.
	No.
	Yeah.
	So it used to be that for, if you were a woman in news, you had to be super hot.
	Not so much for CNN.
	So I don't know what else takes.
	I don't know what they go for.
	I guess it's trendy to look like a...
	Like, you have a few Tumblrs?
	Like, you couldn't, you know... You're like a professional Tumblr host.
	I feel like that's what they're going for here.
	Oh, Tumblr, like the account.
	Like, I thought you were obscuring Daily Wire again.
	No, no, I'm still on just the ad hominem attacks of these people.
	Okay.
	But... I think it's real possible you're gonna need a shot of caffeine or adrenaline at some point today.
	Oh, for sure.
	I'm already suffering.
	This is... Well, think about it.
	This is already...
	I think we considered the election livestream one of the longest, most exhausting streams of our lives.
	And we're basically at that point now.
	It's been about six hours.
	That's about how long the... The difference is that during the election, things were actually happening.
	Happening and getting better.
	Progressively more encouraging.
	Getting better, and there was an end point that was reasonable.
	There's no good end point here.
	There's nothing to look forward to with this.
	I think the election livestream was like six hours.
	Yeah, we're creeping up on that.
	Six hours, you're not even to the halfway point.
	No, no, six hours, yeah, we're at six hours now, I think.
	I know, that's not that halfway point of six, of a 16 hour.
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	What I'm saying is... Pull out your old math book.
	Calculator out.
	Maybe borrow some fingers.
	And it was against the law.
	I'm curious about the narrative that Donald Trump had.
	You borrow some fingers to me.
	No.
	That's my connection.
	It's shit.
	Sorry.
	It's all good.
	Thank you.
	Yeah.
	I'm hearing myself in your studio.
	It's awkward.
	Yeah.
	It's finally got it.
	I don't have my three-point lighting yet.
	I have my overhead light, my window, my headlight.
	It's working.
	It's working better than some of the CNN interviews you saw this morning from Capitol Hill.
	They were awful.
	Just awful lighting.
	I heard that.
	And then you were talking about they don't have three-point lighting.
	I'm like, I don't have three-point lighting either, but I'm working on it.
	What's this right now?
	GOP lawmakers claim conspiracy against Trump during election.
	I love all the branded Russia investigation stuff they have.
	Like they hired a whole firm just to create a package for Russia investigation.
	stuff they have.
	Like they hired a whole firm to create a package for Russia investigation.
	Well, at this point, CNN is just keeping the Russian investigation alive because there is no proof of collusion.
	It's just desperate, wishful thinking that they're going to find out that Trump is a Russian prostitute, and I don't think that's true.
	I think that's part of the problem with all these networks, CNN most of all.
	I think it's not so much just that they're dishonest, by omission and commission, but when they are wrong, plan A is to double down.
	When it's not going the way it should, double down, double down, double down.
	Just hope for the best.
	Can we make a Russian collusion thing happen?
	Can we work on that?
	Yeah.
	Can we send some guys up there?
	Some more inane sources?
	The Nazis took that take.
	I don't think Hitler is actually the person who started this phrase, but if you tell a lie often enough, people will believe it.
	Yeah.
	And I think that's what CNN is doing with their, oh my God, the Russian collusion thing.
	It's like the more we keep harping on it, It's gonna take with some idiots who are already watching CNN.
	They're gonna believe that.
	That Trump really is slutty for Russia, when really it's them.
	Yeah, I think that's... There we go, that was the right one.
	I think it's more proof that it's not about the information, it's about controlling the narrative.
	If you control the narrative, that's just as good as the information.
	What the history books say is more valid than what actually happened in history.
	So if you're the one writing the books, you are controlling...
	They're essentially kind of playing God in that sense of controlling how history is being written in accordance with what their agenda is, not with what truth and facts and actual information data says.
	Well, and it also kind of takes down the Trump legacy, whatever that legacy will be, if there's an asterisk by his name that says, oh, and just so you know, all the news networks in 2017 were investigating whether or not he was a Russian spy.
	Yeah.
	So that kind of takes down any accomplishment that he might have and taints it, even though there's just no evidence.
	In fact, uranium won.
	If there's evidence, it's that the Democrats were in bed with the Ruskies, not Donald Trump.
	So it's projection, too.
	Yeah.
	They're covering for the Democrats while saying, look, look, this is actually what Trump did when really it was Obama and Hillary that were engaging in a little nookie nookie with the Russians over nuclear weapons.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	I don't know why we're not talking about that.
	Here's a question for you.
	Do you think looking down the road, call it 5, 10, 15, 20 years, do you think Trump, do you think his legacy will recover from all of the bad press or do you think it will define his presidency for eternity?
	Because if you look at, there's been some presidents who...
	The media is absolutely tainted.
	I think George Bush is probably tainted forever as the dumb president.
	Then you look back and see, you know, presidents like Ronald Reagan who, while they're looking, look back on as kind of some, you know, some of the heroes of conservatism, the heroes of the Republican Party.
	At the time, it wasn't, especially when he first ran, it was a lot of negative press.
	You know, this Hollywood actor coming up, entering into politics.
	It wasn't all, he lost, who did he lose to the first time?
	I forget who, was it Carter?
	Reagan?
	Yeah, did he lose to Carter the first time?
	I think it was Gerald... Well, in the primaries, I think it was Gerald Ford, wasn't it?
	In the primaries, yeah.
	But point being, that's an example of a president who clearly recovered.
	There are a thousand people tweeting us right now telling us how wrong we are.
	I'm sorry, I've closed that off.
	It's the nerves of being in front of.
	It's just live streaming.
	It's orientate.
	We're writing history.
	It's out there.
	What matters is what we meant and what we say, not what happened.
	I would have said yes.
	I think they are They are trying to taint his legacy and they would have pulled it off had it not been for conservative media kind of throwing it the other way.
	And the reason I say that, after a certain amount of time when that politician has lost influence, it's kind of okay to turn on them.
	The only reason I say that, I saw that there's a new trailer for the movie Chappaquiddick, which is about Ted Kennedy.
	Huh?
	That's all about Kennedy?
	Do you know what Chappaquiddick is?
	I don't know much about this.
	We're finding out the shallowness of Jared's.
	By the way, I'm back.
	- I know.
	- They're so fired.
	- By the way, I'm back.
	- Okay, so Ted Kennedy.
	- Yeah, we got, he knows, Gerald knows.
	- Driving with a re-choke of me.
	- Yeah.
	- Yeah.
	- He takes her off a bridge.
	He gets himself out of the car.
	Okay.
	Okay.
	Yeah.
	The broad and the bridge.
	Okay.
	Yeah.
	I know about that.
	I didn't know.
	You said it weird.
	I'm a very visual person.
	If you spelled it out, I'd be like, Oh yeah, there it is on paper.
	I hear things that I'm a retard.
	I can't spell Chappaquiddick.
	Okay.
	I do know exactly what you're talking about.
	Believe me.
	Yes.
	So there's a movie now and the trailer that I saw that was two, it was about two minutes.
	We have it on ladderwithcrowder.com.
	They were showing Ted Kennedy in a negative light.
	The Kennedys used to be untouchable until recently.
	They were the media darlings.
	Yeah, it was Camelot.
	They were our version of the royal family.
	That's why when JFK visited Dallas it was such a big deal because he had so much pushback here.
	It was kind of unprecedented for him to have that much hate.
	Hate, that's what we're known for too.
	That's kind of it.
	The media is turning on the Clintons a little bit.
	The media is turning on the Kennedys.
	So when those people are out of power and they can no longer influence, the left throws them under the bus.
	They're pretty cruel.
	But here's the thing I think is interesting is that The main pushback against the CNN is not coming from Fox News.
	I don't think it's coming from any of the main news sources.
	No, it's coming from us.
	It's coming from independent media like Lara Crotter, like Daily Wire, like all these other independent shows, which never obviously existed back in the days of Kennedy.
	You wonder what it would have done to his legacy at the time had they been able to call him out on He'd have been done.
	I mean, if we'd had the social media access or YouTube or anything else out there... I can't hear Gerald.
	Turn on his mic.
	Okay, I'll get him for you.
	Oh, no.
	My mic is not on.
	Oh, jeez.
	Here we go.
	Finally.
	All right.
	Hopefully, can you hear me now, Courtney?
	I feel like... I can hear you, but not through your mic.
	Oh.
	Use your outside voice.
	I am using my outside voice.
	How dare you?
	No, we're good.
	It's hard because they tell me, like, you don't project very well.
	Right, exactly.
	Yell in my house.
	No, what I was saying is that if there had been social media, if there had been any kind of access to YouTube or any of the instant kind of news things that we have today that can really get at the base of the story, they would have been screwed at the time.
	There's just no way.
	I mean, this would not...
	It wouldn't have happened.
	Yeah, the Kennedys would have been screwed at the time that it happened.
	By the way, is anybody a fan of The Crown on Netflix here?
	I haven't watched it yet.
	So, spoiler alert, season two.
	It's not really, it's not.
	But season two, they don't treat the Kennedys all that well.
	It shows you the true debauchery that was really going on.
	The show, The Kennedys, that miniseries, I forget which network it was on.
	I saw that one, too.
	I think it was History Channel, wasn't it?
	It could have been.
	No, I think it was an HBO miniseries or something.
	On the Kennedys?
	Yeah, the one with Katie Holmes and... Yeah, maybe so.
	All of it did not paint the Kennedys in a good light.
	No, but it painted them in a realistic light.
	Like, he had lots of women that he was sleeping with, as well as his wife occasionally.
	That kind of thing, you know?
	It's like, come on!
	Interesting though, as much pushback as people like Sina could face today from independent media that only exists because of online technology, and of course things like Mud Club that helped fund them, What amazes me on CNN is they know people can call them on stuff with a quick Google search.
	Exactly.
	They're depending on people not knowing how to use Google.
	But that's the thing.
	We all have that friend, though, who buys the Trevor Noah narrative lock, stock, and barrel.
	So you can't... These people...
	CNN's audience, MSNBC's audience, they're all idiots who need to just turn them off and research for themselves.
	But that takes effort.
	So they just sit there and they take this propaganda thinking that they're informed.
	And that's really the most dangerous part.
	When you think about it, they're voting.
	It's the willing participants of the forum.
	They're willing participants, and they're lazy, and if you dare say anything to them, they're like, well yeah, but I heard it on NPR.
	I'm like, oh my god, you're the problem.
	Honestly, what about somebody who's a huge fan of CNN?
	CNN is their thing.
	Yeah, I don't know.
	I don't really know.
	Maybe it's just the circles I go in.
	I could name you a couple Fox News people who are like, they don't like it, but it's like, every morning it's Fox and Friends.
	I can't tell you anybody who's like, Cooper is my guy.
	Can't wait for, yeah.
	Lemon is my guy.
	Like, every night.
	Fareed Zakaria, whatever it is.
	I never miss it.
	Yeah.
	Hey, I don't know.
	And Courtney's frozen.
	Uh-oh.
	We go away from frozen Courtney?
	Uh-oh.
	There we go.
	Come back.
	You're coming back.
	I think I'm unfrozen now.
	There we go.
	Nice.
	I like unfrozen Courtney better.
	Usually when it freezes, it takes me a pretty unflattering and then people Photoshop, which is fine, but... Here's the thing, though.
	They can pause at any moment and do the same thing, so you're not really seeing them as much.
	That's true.
	That's true.
	If you're going to Photoshop it, do it in an epic fashion, you know, put like a walter in my hand, have me riding a unicorn or something.
	Yeah.
	That's all I ask.
	Right.
	That's crazy.
	Wow.
	Crazy stuff.
	So, I hate it.
	We missed it.
	But the CNN, they were pushing some stuff about Damascus being under siege.
	Yeah.
	Mentioning nothing about the Islamic State and everybody else that's fighting.
	Like, none of this stuff.
	It's not an Arab problem.
	We were talking about Israel just a little while ago and how the entire Arab world, it's not the more accurate thing to say.
	By the way, I think we said Jordan.
	Jordan's actually cool with them now to some degree.
	Are they?
	Yeah.
	So, I mean, it's much better than it was.
	It's more accurate to say the Muslim world around them was trying to kill him.
	That's a much more accurate descriptor.
	Instead of just saying Arab, because that pushes it off.
	It is a Muslim... Remember... Which is funny, because that seems far more racist.
	Yeah, exactly!
	It does, right?
	But remember when we were seeing all of these things happen, and you would say, somebody did something.
	We'd all go, okay, look, let's just wait, but...
	You know, he was yelling Allahu Akbar when he did it.
	Maybe he was an Islamic person who kind of went crazy.
	It would be, it's more accurate.
	It's okay.
	I get it.
	Like, you don't want to say that this person, that you don't want to, you don't want to attribute it to their beliefs, but you have to, right?
	Because their beliefs are what motivates them to do this.
	And I'm not talking about all Muslims, right?
	Hashtag not all Muslims.
	Well, it's funny because I mean.
	You're such a shill.
	I know, right?
	Well, you know that's what people are going to say.
	There's so many peaceful Muslims.
	Of course there are.
	I understand that.
	But when you have a gigantic population within your belief that believes it's okay for you to convert by the sword and to kill infidels.
	That's Jews and us, by the way.
	We're the great Satan.
	They're the little Satan.
	So we still take preeminence even in the hatred list.
	So screw you.
	Sorry, guys.
	Yeah.
	Well, this goes back to the sin by omission thing because People report all day long if a guy did something wrong and ever even wore a Trump hat.
	Exactly.
	They'll photoshop the hat in to make it look good.
	We'll go back in time, we have no problem calling out the World War II, the Holocaust, kind of a result of the beliefs of Hitler.
	But when it comes to the atrocities that happen every single day in the Middle East, We have a hard time calling out what is it.
	Oh, it's just Iran.
	They kind of have some different policy ideas.
	It's like, no, there's, there's a, there's a, there's a threaded ideology.
	I always have trouble with that word.
	Ideology, ideology, ideology, ideology.
	Just think of idiot.
	I think she made different pronunciations.
	Ideology, ideology.
	Did you get that, Courtney?
	You like that?
	I did.
	I liked it.
	He's rambling, so he needs help.
	This is like, this is almost like an episode of Morning Grinders in the afternoon.
	Yeah, it's Morning Grinders, which is when most people end up watching Morning Grinders.
	Well, pretty much.
	Yeah, that happens.
	We're talking about things that are meaningful, and this is why we don't do it.
	We don't have meaningful conversations in the mornings.
	It's just not... Well, that's not nice.
	It's not as entertaining, so that's funny.
	This actually, I didn't even realize, I didn't even think about the fact that we're all together.
	This is the Morning Grinders crew, but... Yeah, we're not going to be in tomorrow either, people.
	Yeah, sorry guys.
	No Morning Grinders in the morning.
	This is a good time to change the plug, probably.
	Tomorrow, there will be no Morning Grinders.
	Yeah, that's the best plug we could possibly do.
	Best plug.
	Instead, we are providing you with a full episode-length behind-the-scenes and blooper and gag reel from the YouTube Carol.
	So once you see the rest of this thing, you are going to realize why you want that.
	You may not know you want that yet.
	Of course, the Hodge twins and Clint Howard's show, you can get a clue.
	But once you see the rest of them, you will realize just why you want that so badly.
	When Steven gets back, I'm going to ask him a question about the availability of that.
	He was gone for less and I'm trying I'm trying to get him to like take I think the the whole thing was that you had to watch CNN not talk the whole time.
	Watching's bad enough it burns your eyes out.
	Right?
	Stop being a pussy.
	And Steven's back.
	You need a minute.
	I put it on the thing over here.
	And I brought a wine of the day and I meant to get it out of the way before you got back in here so you couldn't chastise me.
	Thank you, Courtney, Jared, and Gerald.
	I didn't watch any of it because I wanted to not watch anything that relates to this for at least 15 minutes.
	We just talked about some of the things that you do, you know.
	Really?
	That's happening?
	That's what I've had an appendix carry people do.
	Is this what we missed by not having you?
	Pow, pow, pow, pow, pow.
	Wait, hold on a second.
	I think there's someone over there.
	Hold on.
	Check it.
	Huh?
	Huh?
	Clear?
	Huh?
	Pow!
	Okay, we're good.
	Oh God.
	Somebody take his gun away from him.
	People are gonna say, why are we being irresponsible?
	But I just think it's fun to tell.
	It's clear.
	Yeah, it is.
	Watch him, Mike.
	Watch y'all freaking watch him.
	What are you, Courtney?
	Are you Appendix Carry?
	Inquiring minds want to know.
	Hey, this girl's good-looking on CNN.
	Mm-hmm.
	I've always thought she was cute.
	She has, like, a warm... Isn't that Brooke Baldwin?
	Is that who that is?
	Yeah.
	Is it?
	I don't know.
	Oh, yeah, that is Brooke Baldwin.
	She was the one who was all scandalized when Clay Travis said he believed in the First Amendment and boobs.
	I do like boobs.
	She just, like, freaked out.
	Everybody likes boobs.
	That's why it was so silly.
	And I love that the First Amendment allows me to say that I like boobs.
	We're not boobies.
	Did you just say that?
	Everybody likes boobs, dummy.
	We're not really boob guys We're not boob guys You like the first feminine boobs?
	Did you just say that?
	Like everybody likes boobs dummy No Not Anderson Cooper Who doesn't?
	Man boobs.
	Man boobs.
	Men still have boobs.
	I have nipples, Greg.
	Can you milk me?
	He loves other big, giant things that form a crack when they're pushed together.
	Wait, you're wearing green.
	Thank you, Courtney.
	Gerald, go get something from my wife that's red or something.
	You need me in red so that I can't see it.
	This is insensitive to colorblind people.
	Courtney, don't you think it's insensitive for people to not be wearing something Christmassy?
	That's why I'm wearing green.
	I know!
	Thanks a lot, Courtney.
	He just threw it in the glove box.
	Just throw it at him.
	My wife, I need a scarf.
	I don't know how to put it on.
	Wait, go back to Gerald.
	Is he wearing a Louder With Crowder shirt, though?
	Let's go back to Gerald.
	That's a new one, too.
	That's entirely foreboding.
	Even Sven, computer, had the decency to wear the Christmas vacation jacket.
	Sven is just silver and gold.
	Silver and gold.
	You know what I love about that?
	How can you measure their worth just by the pleasure it gives?
	What about blood diamonds, bro lives, you prick?
	You just measure it's worth by the pleasure it gives?
	What if you're a sadist?
	Diamonds do not equal love, ladies.
	Sorry.
	I don't know.
	I'm just not a fan of that song.
	I'm not a fan of diamonds.
	How can you measure it's worth just by the pleasure it gives?
	Well, that's a horrible way to measure it's worth.
	Right.
	Rapists get a whole lot of pleasure out of it.
	That's terrible.
	Silver and Gold sounds like the new trainee duo that's going to sweep the internet soon.
	Okay, let me ask you, Courtney, and then I'll let you go.
	Courtney, Gerald, Jared, what did I miss in my 20 minutes?
	You're looking at it.
	Not much of anything.
	We started talking about Muslim stuff a little bit because they put up something about Damascus not mentioning anything about what's really going on.
	We mocked a woman's hair a little bit.
	We did some ad hominem attacks.
	There wasn't really much going on on CNN.
	Is that the point?
	That's got the Sharon Stone basic instinct here going on right now.
	I know.
	It's not clean.
	Oh, really?
	See, the thing is, you're going to get so many tweets like, Oh, it's sexy.
	It's like after you got out of the shower.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	I like that.
	Yeah.
	I won't meet people like that.
	Courtney done to the shower.
	Yeah.
	This took a turn.
	Love you, Courtney.
	Courtney's all clean here.
	She used a loofah here.
	Oh my gosh.
	All right, Courtney.
	Listen, I know you have work to do.
	Thank you so much, sweetheart, for being by.
	We'll have you by later tonight when this isn't as torturous.
	But thank you for helping me get a 20-minute lunch break in.
	Good.
	All right, Pumpkin.
	You be well.
	Bye.
	Take care.
	Bye.
	See, I can say sweetheart to Courtney and she's not offended because she's not a feminist bitch.
	And she's actually a sweetheart.
	She is a sweetheart.
	You know one thing I will say about Courtney?
	Oh, look, how is scheduled today?
	Vote to keep government running.
	Well, hold on a second.
	Did they mention that Republicans put a measure forward to fund through January 19th?
	Have they mentioned that that's what the vote is?
	I haven't heard it or seen it.
	I haven't heard it once.
	No.
	All right, tweet me at S Crowder for those people out there.
	there oh oh oh oh oh you got ow i think i just poked him in the eyeball he's got an elf beard nice oh this dog he's how close where does he need to be for you to see the close-up on him uh right in front of you right in front of me next hour right there okay get over there hopper hopper come here he goes to the nearest pets is where he goes he's like get that get it off
	get it off I got you, buddy.
	Oh gosh.
	Oh, gosh.
	All right.
	So listen again, by the way, no, never mind.
	I'm just amazed.
	No mention at all yet?
	No.
	No mention that Republicans have already put forward a measure to keep us... No, they had to keep you watching their breaking news, repeat headlines.
	Oh, that's Tamara Holder!
	She's the one who Gavin McGinnis went nuclear on on Fox News.
	I remember I used to be on Hannity's Great All-American Panel with her.
	And that was actually, I will tell you this, this is going to sound really bad, but I'm giving you all the inside baseball because who cares?
	I'm my own... I'm self-employed and apparently decided to work 16 hours today.
	It's your own damn fault.
	Immeasurable torture.
	I remember I was on a panel with her on Fox News, and the same happened with Lonnie Davis and Doug Schoen, but specifically her.
	And I realized, these people on news don't know anything.
	Actually, it came over me.
	I was going, oh my gosh.
	Because I always felt as though I was woefully ill-equipped.
	I was like, well, I shouldn't be on air.
	I'm no expert.
	And then I was on with Tamara Holder.
	Very nice girl.
	But I was on with Tamara Holder, and I said, wow.
	Well, yeah, I should probably be speaking on news, if only to balance it out with someone who knows something.
	I mean, these people on news know almost nothing.
	And this sounds terrible to say.
	Tamara Holder is a very nice girl.
	She knows nothing.
	Uh oh.
	That's just the truth.
	Yeah.
	By the way, why is this bad?
	Some companies to hand out bonuses to employees and it's in the frame of GOP tax cuts.
	Is that a bad thing?
	Disney Harris, taxes shouldn't be cut for the rich like me.
	Oh, well then pay more.
	Really?
	Pay more, go ahead.
	Why do I care what the Disney... That's the Disney Harris?
	Oh my God.
	I did not do anything to earn that money.
	So give it away!
	Give it away!
	Yes!
	Neither did Debra Wasserman Schultz!
	Tell you what, you can find the federal tax... Hold on, let's turn this up, Senator Edward.
	1% is 300,000 joint household income.
	from other people and corporations, mostly in the 1%.
	But it's probably- 1% is 300,000 joint household income.
	Right.
	To you.
	For example, if you work for a living, your income is probably gonna be taxed at a higher rate than mine.
	Once I set up a plastic corporation- Oh, good lord.
	Yes!
	Yes.
	21%.
	I really hope I've made you angry.
	You should be.
	You've made us angry by the looks.
	No one who votes for this tax bill will be voting with your life in mind.
	That's another thing that I don't care about.
	Here's another thing with CNN.
	Can we talk about this?
	They want you to get mad, and they just appeal to your own selfish motives.
	They're not voting with you in mind.
	Here's the deal.
	Why do you need to vote with only your own self-interest in mind?
	Why don't you vote on what's right?
	You know what I mean?
	Like, what if a thief were to vote with his own self-interest in mind?
	You know what I mean?
	And that's what you have!
	That's what Congress is!
	When it's run by Democrats.
	They're just voting for them to take more stuff!
	I don't understand this point.
	They're like, Republicans vote against their own self-interest.
	To me, that's a beautiful thing.
	To me, someone who stands nothing to gain by not stealing half after it's been taxed half from a wealthy person.
	For me, that person in the middle of Arkansas who stands nothing to gain by repealing the death tax but saying, you know what?
	I probably won't make any more, it won't put another, it won't put another penny in my pocket, but if that man wants to pass it down, I think it's wrong.
	This Chapelle bit, they're talking about a comedy bit saying Trump is... Chapelle is fighting for me, not the poor.
	Well, these are their sources.
	The Disney heiress who didn't give it away in the first place, right?
	Put your money where your mouth is, lady.
	And write the check.
	Write it to the IRS.
	We'll get you the address.
	You can send it.
	Here's the thing.
	She just said, I didn't earn it.
	Okay, fine.
	But you speak for yourself.
	But that's the argument.
	Like we said, they didn't earn it.
	But neither did Congress.
	Why didn't you give them any more right to it?
	Why does anyone feel... Okay, if I work my ass off, and I have, alright?
	If I work my ass off and we build something up, and you people willingly join Mug Club, as you have today, by the hundreds already, and you join up because you want to see this kind of content, you want to see someone call CNN and they're bullcrap, you join up because you want to support our business with your dollar over other businesses.
	You've decided, right?
	Instead of supporting a multi-national corporation, multi-billion dollar corporation, like Turner, CNN, you've decided you want to support independent media, lotearthcreditor.com, and you've given me your dollars, and we have a renewal rate that's insane.
	Yeah.
	I'm really touched.
	People are asking to renew for three years.
	We don't even have that as an option, I don't think.
	But we will create an option and give you an awesome gift if you do.
	But if you decide to do that, okay, and you say it's been worth every penny for you, and you're happy, and we haven't ripped you off, and let's say, at the end of my life, I have $20 million.
	And that's after, let's say, that's after I'd have made $40 million and it's been taxed at $20 million.
	Now listen, not even close.
	I'm just saying there's a dream, right?
	Let's say I have millions of dollars.
	Why is it wrong?
	Why has Debbie Wasserman Schultz or Nancy Pelosi or Mitch McConnell, why do they have more of a right to that money that I've earned?
	Being passed than my children.
	They don't.
	Well, no, I know that, but I'm just trying to make any logical argument, any reasonable argument.
	Can you let Hopper go in the, uh... Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Someone needs to let Hopper out.
	He keeps wanting to come in and out of the studio.
	I just, someone tweet me, at S. Crowder, hashtag CrowderCNNLivestream.
	What is the argument?
	Why does the government have more right to your estate, to what you've earned in your lifetime, than your blood?
	Can anyone give me an answer?
	I'm looking through your tweets right now, actually.
	I think I can give you what I think the answer will probably be.
	All right, let me hear it.
	Because I want to hear what the wrong answer is.
	Exactly.
	I think the answer is because there's need.
	Because there's poverty.
	There's people that have less than you that need it more than you do, which comes to a very, very, very, very dangerous place.
	They need it more than you do.
	And at some point, we can take it from you by force, if necessary, to give it to people who need it.
	I think that's what the answer is going to be.
	I think that's the exact wrong way to do it.
	Oh, good!
	128 to 9 to condemn Trump.
	Oh, that's good.
	Hold on a second, sorry.
	Someone said Jared needs more caffeine, so someone get Jared some more caffeine, because people are saying he looks like he's falling asleep here.
	That's accurate, that's accurate.
	You were awesome.
	I love this.
	My only Christmas wish...
	Is for a Mug Club subscription.
	Well, Justin Leeds, maybe you'll get what you wish for.
	You can donate at pay.gov.
	That's true.
	You can always donate at pay.gov.
	Now, do you know why most people don't donate at pay.gov?
	Because it's probably the charity where the least amount of money goes to people in need.
	I don't know the name of an organization that actually measures what percentage of charitable donations actually goes to those in need.
	I think the worst rated was Bono.
	His one foundation, because less than 1%, ironically, went to those in need.
	That's awesome.
	I think it's like Christian Children's Fund, they changed the name, it was over 80%.
	If you're over 60, it's really rare.
	Yeah.
	So you can always donate your money to pay.gov.
	I won't be doing it, but hopefully the Disney-Harris, who sits on a throne of anti-Semitic bloodlust and cryogenically frozen freak shows.
	The multibillion-dollar company that buys multibillion-dollar companies.
	You remember when Warren Buffett was making that same argument?
	Someone just said it was really cute when Hopper was leaning on you, but yes, go ahead.
	That's true.
	Hopper's a cute animal.
	He made me cute.
	Yes.
	That's what I'm saying.
	He was making that exact same argument, saying that his secretary was going to pay a higher percentage than him, and never did he say, and by the way, to correct that problem, I sent the government more money.
	Nobody has ever said that or done that.
	He's going to give a lot away to charity, and that's fine.
	We are all for giving it away to charity to help, but not having it stolen from you.
	At a certain point, I've paid for the services that we enjoy as citizens.
	I've paid my share of fire, water, roads, police, whatever else you want to throw in there.
	I've paid my share at some point.
	You don't have any right to tell me I have to pay more.
	Yeah.
	Right?
	I understand you have the thought that maybe I should, but you can't defend it.
	Right.
	And that's the issue that we have right now is that they're saying, no, no, no.
	Every need that we can possibly find that gives us power to put money in somebody else's hands, to stay in office, that is something that we have to take money from you to give to them.
	Well, someone said, uh, because Marxism.
	That's from Lisa B. Well, yeah, reasonable.
	Someone said, uh, government is God.
	Once you die, everything goes to God.
	Uh, someone said... It's a bad God.
	...because it's not your money either way.
	The government just lets you use it.
	No, that's God's money.
	All good things flow from our benevolent... No, I think these are sarcastic answers.
	Yeah, I know.
	Um, and someone asked, here's something interesting.
	King Colli, I don't know, J. Ford 88 says, the government is virtuous and moral, so they need to take your money and distribute it in a fair manner.
	Now...
	No, no, I'm pretty sure this is sarcastic, but that is actually a really good summary of what the left believes.
	They believe corporations are evil, power corrupts, look at net neutrality.
	It's this selective corporatism, by the way.
	is inherently virtuous.
	They're supporting that neutrality.
	Google, Facebook, Twitter, they're inherently virtuous because they support our things until they don't.
	And businesses, people who actually have to provide a service or a product to make a living are inherently evil.
	And government, for some reason, which is the biggest bloated multi-billion dollar, trillion dollar, however you want to compare it, Conglomerate, corporation, amalgamation of everything that is unholy, for some reason, when it comes to them, and by the way, they've run up a bill of trillions and trillions of dollars, not only my money, not only your parents' money, but our kids' kids' kids' money, you're supposed to believe for some reason that they are inherently morally right and virtuous.
	And by the way, which one is inherently morally right and virtuous?
	When you're talking about the death tax, you're saying, well, the government will know how to use it better.
	Well, which government?
	George W. Bush?
	Barack Obama?
	Donald Trump?
	Because guess what?
	Each person, each administration, has wildly different ideas of what they want to do with your money.
	But they still all have access to take money from your kids.
	So liberals aren't even consistent with, look what Donald Trump wants to do!
	Yeah, but you want to give him all the money!
	No, I don't want to give all the money, but it's the next guy!
	But he's going to have it now!
	I think they fool themselves by thinking, OK, if it goes to government, then everything's up for a vote.
	Yeah.
	Then it's still my decision.
	It's like, no, that's not how it works.
	Not quite how it works.
	Speaking of, oh, go ahead.
	I was going to say, you know, you look at the corporatists and even the robber barons in their worst days, the people that were having other people killed so they wouldn't join unions would blush at what government officials do.
	These guys, like, government is the most corrupt.
	We have House of Cards.
	It's not real life.
	But I have a strange feeling that it's probably closer to real life than we want to believe.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	The stuff that goes on in politics and around power is nothing.
	I mean, isn't the corporations... You heard what Kevin Spacey did with the boom mic though, right?
	Oh, well.
	And ironically, House of Cards, we were saying this, is the least biased show out there because everyone's just horrible.
	They don't feel any requirement to make anyone, you know, redeemable.
	Right.
	You mentioned that about West Wing, too.
	I think you guys were talking about it.
	He's a big West Wing fan.
	Huge West Wing fan.
	Before Aaron Sorkin lost his mind and did Newsroom, which was the worst thing ever.
	He's done some bad stuff.
	He's done some very bad stuff, but he does a lot of great stuff.
	He does good dialogue.
	That was fair because he gave both sides.
	He obviously had a liberal slant, but he at least presented the Republican point of view in that show reasonably.
	Like it wasn't some crazy person making the argument.
	Look at this.
	Hold on real quick.
	U.N.
	votes 128 to 9.
	This hasn't changed.
	Trump's breaking news.
	That should be Clinton's, actually.
	It should be Clinton's Jerusalem.
	It should actually be 360 whatever people in Congress.
	Breaking news.
	How dishonest is this?
	Find out who the nine are that voted with us.
	Yeah, let's find out who the nine are.
	I'd say UK.
	Who are the nine?
	Tweet us.
	Um, I'm curious, who would you think, who would vote with us, Jared?
	You think Canada?
	No.
	But here's, you know, here's my point, you guys remember my point?
	It says breaking news.
	Yeah.
	It always says breaking news.
	We talked about this at nine or ten.
	That's a lie.
	Yeah.
	Can you see the screen?
	Yep.
	Stay right there.
	Stay right there.
	This is a lie!
	Where's the camera?
	You just look towards Jared.
	Oh, you're good, you're good.
	Where is it though?
	It's back there.
	This... This is a lie!
	That's not true!
	This isn't true!
	You're terrible!
	This is all untrue!
	Everything about it is a lie!
	Probably false.
	It is not breaking news!
	Do you see me?
	Nah, it's a little dark.
	Come back.
	Get further back.
	It's a lie.
	Everything here has been a lie today.
	We have our hit list.
	We're not even at night time.
	That's Candy Crowley, remove water.
	This is a lie.
	Mark the time.
	It said earlier.
	It said it was yesterday, right?
	Earlier doesn't mean yesterday!
	It's not yesterday!
	December 21st, 118 PM, Steven loses his mind.
	When people watch CNN, when you say, Al Franken said this earlier, if I say, yeah man, earlier, I started the livestream today.
	If I say earlier, do you think yesterday?
	No.
	No!
	No, if I say breaking news, do you think that I'm saying something that's not breaking news?
	Probably so.
	Son of a bitch!
	This isn't that hard.
	Why?
	Sorry, Sound Guy Edward, I know your work is cut out for you.
	But gosh, I'm done.
	I'm done with it now.
	I just, I can't believe, it's a lie!
	The only way this could happen, by the way, uh...
	Hold on a second.
	You're fine.
	I think Sven Computer had something on you.
	Sven Computer has it, but the only... This is the only way this could happen.
	And I don't expect this to be the most fun thing that you've watched.
	Believe me, I don't.
	This is by far the worst thing I've ever done in my life.
	I hate it.
	I would much rather be waterboarded.
	Yes.
	It is so painful.
	It is a lie.
	It's a lie!
	Straight from the pit, brothers!
	That it's breaking news!
	I don't know what... I mean, I guess they could say, well, what really constitutes breaking news?
	Just like earlier, it said breaking news.
	A GOP lawmaker says they are unlikely to fire Mueller.
	First off, that GOP lawmaker didn't say it.
	The White House officially said it, and they said it yesterday.
	It's like saying, like, I don't know, gosh.
	It's like saying, you know, what was the vote?
	You're going to lose your voice here.
	I'm going to lose my voice.
	Sorry.
	Sven, what were we going to say?
	You've got to come down.
	Well, so, the nations that... I can't hear you.
	What?
	What?
	What was that?
	The nations that voted for the resolution... Bob, that was the U.S.
	obviously, Israel, Guatemala, Honduras, the Marshall Islands, Micronesia, Nauru, Palau, and Togo.
	So... Pretty useless nations.
	Are you serious?
	Yeah.
	We couldn't strong-arm anybody else?
	Yeah, France and the U.K.
	voted for the resolution, so they were in on it.
	Oh, France and the U.K.
	screwed us on that?
	Wait, so Guatemala voted?
	The Federated Nations of Micronesia also... Why?
	Why would Guatemala be on the Israeli side?
	This is, again, I'm watching CNN today, so I have no idea.
	I have no context.
	Yeah, none.
	Togo.
	No major nation stuck it out with this, apparently.
	I think Guatemala is like the most reasonable of the list.
	Yeah, well, except Israel, for obvious reasons.
	Well, of course, yeah.
	Of course Israel wouldn't vote to like, oh crap, Jerusalem's our capital, really?
	I don't, yeah.
	So many construction costs.
	It would have been funny if they would have actually voted to condemn themselves, because they're like, hell, you've done it to us so many times, we might as well do it.
	We just can't even.
	Let me ask you this, Jerusalem.
	Yeah.
	Right now, where's Jerusalem?
	What do you mean?
	I mean, which country is it?
	It's in Israel.
	It's not in Palestine?
	No.
	It's not in Egypt?
	No.
	It's not in Jordan?
	None of those places.
	Not Syria?
	No.
	Not one of the countries that wanted to wipe them off the face of the map?
	No.
	So is it actually in Israel?
	Yeah.
	So it's not like we have to expand Israel's territory for Jerusalem?
	No.
	No.
	So it's in Israel right now?
	Has been for a long time.
	Yeah.
	Why?
	So why is this a thing?
	Hmm.
	We're talking about Jerusalem.
	It's in Israel.
	It'd be like right now, them saying like... The Eternal Capital.
	Oh!
	Like, if we wanted to move the capital from Washington, D.C.
	I don't know.
	To Vancouver.
	Let's say... Well, no, no, not to Vancouver.
	That's the opposite.
	To New York City.
	We're wanting to move it to Dallas.
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	People would be like, well, what about Vancouver?
	They really think... It doesn't matter.
	We already have these cities.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Why would you say Vancouver?
	That's the worst analogy.
	I thought you were going the opposite way.
	Like, saying we were going to move it.
	Why would I go the opposite way?
	I thought you were doing it.
	He's not making any sense.
	No.
	He's not making any sense.
	Did you get caffeine?
	Did you get caffeine?
	No one brought it to me.
	Nobody brought it to you.
	Caffeine, garcon!
	Someone needs to bring, what do you want?
	You want the coffee machine or you want the energy pack thing?
	Those energy packs are great.
	We'll do some coffee here in just a second.
	Okay, Gerald will help us with some coffee in just a second.
	Okay, Sven, what was it you had that was interesting?
	We have some more signups, don't we?
	Of course we have.
	I'm sorry, what?
	Beep, beep.
	Of course we have.
	What's about, is there something happening?
	Hopper wants to come back.
	Hopper's coming back in.
	I don't know how I like him.
	We have new digs.
	What?
	Hopper!
	Hopper, come here, buddy!
	Come here, Hopper, come here.
	Go that way, go that way, go that way.
	I'm the closest.
	I'm just the closest.
	He's got a socialisms for figs onesie.
	We're selling them for babies now.
	At ottowithcrowdershop.com.
	I want to see pictures of babies in that.
	Awesome.
	I love it.
	Hopper's just, he's just, he's a whore for pets.
	He is.
	When I'm doing the show he doesn't come to me because he knows I'm distracted and I won't pet him.
	Well, I think he comes to the closest pet person and works his way over.
	He's very strategic.
	What's the short?
	If I were to go this way, what's the short?
	If I go the way the crow flies to pets, it's Gerald.
	That's true.
	Even though he made me put it in the house when he was supposed to dog sit me once.
	The one time Hopper ever pooped in the house was when he was dog sitting, and he pooped in the corner of the office, which tells me that Gerald, at G. Morgan Jr., send him your hate, hashtag CrowderCNN livestream, did not let him out to go to the bathroom.
	I did my job, didn't I, buddy?
	You have no wife, no prospects, no kids, and no dog, and so you don't understand.
	What do you mean no prospects?
	What are you talking about?
	The dogs need to go out like every two hours.
	So this dog woke me up in the middle of the night, and when they got back, I was like, hey, is this pretty normal?
	And he goes, no, he just didn't respect you.
	That is true.
	It is true.
	Hopper is the sweetest dog, as you can see, but Hopper pushes.
	He pushes for sure to see where you are.
	He'll growl.
	He almost bit Clint Howard's balls off.
	Clint Howard, okay, this is a true story.
	I love Clint Howard.
	You saw him in there as Susan Wojcicki.
	He did a brilliant job.
	But Clint Howard is an eccentric guy.
	I don't think that's breaking news.
	We don't need a chyron.
	But so the Clint Howard, we have a rule with Hopper, right?
	Since he's a big dog, people ask him, what breed is he?
	He's a Dogo Argentino.
	So very strong, you know, 80 plus pounds.
	These are hunting dogs.
	So the rule is, and if you ever do dog training or you go with, like Cesar Millan talks about this, but there are other dog trainers too, even ones that aren't that aggressive in their training of dogs.
	And some people, oh, Cesar Millan's abusive.
	No, he's not.
	Anyway, point is, They will tell you, ignore the dog, always when you come home.
	When you come home, ignore him, take just like a liter of the pack, a liter of a dog pack, doesn't come in, and just go, and fawn over you with praise.
	You come in, you set your bags down, take your shoes off, and then call him over.
	And a big reason, you know, for him, if you don't call him over, he'll come over and he'll throw your hand, he's done it with his fen computer.
	He'll knock you over.
	He'll knock you over.
	Well, he's a big dog, yeah.
	Yeah, he's a big dog.
	Most people, he'll lean on you and knock you over.
	And he'll do it to be pet, but if you have a cup of coffee or something, Oh, developing now, FBI director grilled amid bias claims.
	Bias claims?
	Wait.
	You mean, hold on, replace FBI deputy director with CNN?
	But hey, you'll like this.
	It doesn't say breaking news.
	What says developing now?
	I know, but it's a little toned down, at least.
	A little.
	I hope Anthrax is delivered to their... No, he doesn't.
	Not real anthrax, like an envelope, like in House of Cards, where it's like a lockdown, where no one can do their job for four hours, they just blow the powder.
	I call this the tale of misfortune CNN.
	What?
	But like one of those things that gives them, it's not anthrax, but it gives them a heart attack, so they die from that, so you're still guilt-free.
	Right, it's like the chalk.
	Yeah, you can sleep at night.
	Wasn't you.
	No, it wasn't me.
	What was the answer?
	Oh, Hopper.
	Yes.
	So anyway, so the point is with Hopper, you ignore him and same thing, you don't pet him unless you call him over, otherwise he'll learn to bully you.
	Right.
	So we told Clint Howard and his significant other, who is lovely by the way, lovely lady, if you're watching, thank you so much for coming with Clint.
	She was really sweet.
	Sweet, sweet people.
	Very bright guy too, Clint Howard.
	Just eccentric.
	And we're like, okay, so listen, don't acknowledge Hopper when you walk in, ignore him, and then when you settle in, sit down and just call him over in a firm voice and, you know, pet him and praise him and that's the best way that he'll love you for life.
	Yeah.
	Walks into the studio.
	First- Breaks the first rule before he's- Hi, Hopper!
	Yeah.
	And I swear to you, Jared, you can tell me- Now, Jared, you can tell me if I'm exaggerating.
	He's like, You're a good dog!
	Oh, firm!
	So he's- He actually says, like, Oh, firm!
	And he does this, like, Hey, Hopper!
	Just like that.
	And Hopper starts doing this.
	And I see his hair going up.
	And Hopper, God bless him.
	He's just a growler.
	He's not a biter, but- Oh, Hopper!
	Yeah!
	I'm your buddy!
	You don't need to growl!
	I'm like, hey, how about we bring Hopper over here?
	I was expecting breaking news.
	Right-wing extremist dog massacres Glenn Howard.
	Can you imagine Hopper getting into an animal?
	Has he ever gotten into something?
	Because he's white, he has blood all over him.
	It would just look like a murder scene.
	Yeah, developing now.
	Hopper killed a lizard.
	A lizard?
	How did he catch a lizard?
	Ow, I got a cramp in my foot.
	You ever get a cramp, like a spasm in the arch of your foot?
	Is this a CNN watching spasm?
	No, this is not a joke.
	Those are the worst.
	Stand up, stand up, stand up, stand up!
	Walk it off!
	Walk it off!
	Attaboy.
	You're doing good.
	It's okay.
	Hey man, this is what it takes to be an athlete to be on this show.
	There you go.
	Oh, nope.
	Nobody wants to see that.
	Yeah, right now it's the self-hate running through your body, coursing through your veins from this moment.
	Is this what really fat people that sit on the couch all day feel like?
	Thank you, sweet Jesus.
	And I mean that, that we got this chair in time.
	Because imagine doing this on those chairs.
	Those are like beautiful, super expensive chairs, but they are not comfortable.
	Yeah, not for long periods of time, at least.
	OK, so we were saying something before that.
	Hopper killed a lizard.
	Yes, he killed a lizard.
	Kind of looked like this guy.
	And then he killed the rat, which looked like him, and he killed the lizard, which looked like her.
	He killed the rat in my parents' garage.
	And it was so fast.
	I don't understand.
	It was so fast, because you've seen him when he gets old.
	He's such a big dog.
	And he's like eight and a half.
	He's not young.
	He just looked, and all we heard was...
	Boom!
	And then he went back, and his ears were up, and he just stared, and he kind of did this, where he looked at us, and the same thing with the lizard on the wall, uh, outside.
	And that's when he goes out, when you let him out to the bathroom, every now and then, Gerald Dogg sits, he looks at that, he just walks out, and he fixates.
	Yeah, he tries to find stuff.
	And I will tell you this, when Hopper fixates, when he gets rigid and his ears go up, he's a majestic looking dog.
	Yeah.
	Because he's tall, and he's got this barrel chest, and he's big.
	When he's kind of hunched over, he's happy, he's wiggly, you're like, oh, OK.
	But when he gets really on alert, he is a beautiful.
	And I've seen people cross the streets because they're terrified of him.
	Well, of course.
	He's a gigantic dog.
	Remember that one time we were out in the park, playing around, and you had the laser?
	Yeah.
	And he almost took my knee out.
	Yeah, I know.
	I mean, like, I had to lift my leg up off the ground, otherwise he would have blown my leg out, because he was following the laser.
	Wait, is this live?
	Can someone tell me, is this live?
	No, I believe this is, no, this is not live, because I saw it earlier today when I was on here.
	They're just replaying stuff.
	Okay, here's why.
	And Reg was just sending this to me.
	I forgot about this.
	Yesterday, McCabe was questioned for, I think, seven... Reg is saying seven and a half hours.
	At Sven Computer, make sure I can hear you, but can we confirm that it was seven and a half hours?
	I would have to check the article, but... Yes, okay.
	You can just say yes.
	I already know.
	I was doing it to give you a cameo.
	Damage?
	Well, I can bring up the article if you want to.
	Okay.
	So, we'll bring up the article.
	Yeah, that'd be great.
	Beep-beep.
	Good lords.
	How hard is it to say beep-beep-boop with every word in your computer?
	Beep-beep-boop.
	That's what computers say.
	Try doing it when you're not speaking in your native language.
	Beep-beep.
	Yeah, I know.
	Try hosting.
	Try being tortured for 16 hours.
	And having a cramp.
	He gets to wear a sweatsuit every day at work.
	Well, that is a masculine thing.
	Well, he doesn't really get to wear a sweatsuit.
	He's a computer.
	That's true.
	Uh, by the way, this lady, someone's not looking out for her on air.
	Aw, come on.
	I'm just saying, someone's not looking out for her.
	No, my mom would say this.
	My mom would say, French-Canadian, she's, uh, the way she is, is not doing her any favor.
	I've been around your mom enough times.
	It's not doing her any favor.
	Same thing like if you're a little boisterous, she's like, hey, you're not shy?
	Which is funny because French Canadians say, hey, sois pas gênée means, hey, don't be shy.
	Like, hey, do you want this?
	Sois pas gênée.
	But then if you do something bad, they're like, y'est pas gênée, which means, hey, he's not shy.
	So it's like, your invitation is a pretext to your screw you.
	Yeah.
	Okay, so, 7.5 hours McCabe was questioned.
	Couldn't provide one single example.
	Wow.
	Not one of a substantive dossier, this Trump dossier allegation, that had been verified by the FBI.
	Here, I have this right here.
	I think Sven Kamiri has the overlay.
	When asked, when he learned of the dossier, he had been funded by... When asked, when he learned that the dossier, let's go to Sven's overlay.
	Sorry, I have a hiccup.
	I had the worst salmon for lunch.
	I had a 15 minute lunch and it was salmon jerky.
	Love you, sweetheart.
	Had been funded by the Hillary Clinton campaign and the DNC.
	McCabe claimed he could not recall despite the reported existence of documents with McCabe's own signature on them.
	So still no mention of Uranium One.
	Still don't mention it, by the way, hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.
	It's been trending all day, certainly more than anything CNN's put out there.
	You know they're just in that office, furious.
	I can't say exactly, because I would be in legal trouble, but I knew they didn't like it this morning.
	I guarantee you now they're furious.
	Hey, CNN, CNN, just so you know, it gets a lot worse when your primetime programming starts.
	I just want you to know, this is going to be really bad for you.
	Like, it's gonna be very uncomfortable.
	I want everyone, everyone right now, everyone who's watching, every Mug Club member, blast out.
	Hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.
	Let's boost it up to the top for a little bit, because I know there's gonna be a lull.
	You're gonna need your five-hour energy, your afternoon snack.
	Jared needs some caffeine.
	But, tonight, I need everyone out there.
	Tonight, during prime time, all hands on deck.
	It is going to be biblical.
	Okay?
	Okay?
	It's gonna be biblical with the CNN and their scrap there, huh?
	Huh?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Oh gosh, that lady's even worse when she smiles.
	Don't do it.
	What?
	Oh, we have to go to, uh... Oh, no, no.
	We have, uh... We have a... Something interesting I found earlier.
	Sven has the overlay from TechCrunch.
	Get that one.
	What's the computer overlay from TechCrunch?
	So this is trending right now on Facebook.
	Facebook will ditch disputed flags on fake news and display links to trustworthy articles instead.
	So in other words, they're just not going to... Guess who determines who trustworthy articles are?
	Yeah, so here you go.
	Facebook, who supported net neutrality because they want a fair and open internet, are going to determine what news you read by WaPo and Snopes.
	Because they have your best interest at heart.
	You dummies.
	I'm sorry, but you stupid morons on YouTube who think net neutrality was for you.
	You are just eating out.
	They have you eating from the palm of their hand.
	Good for you!
	Good for you!
	You YouTube, Facebook, Google, Twitter rubes.
	Jack Dorsey bent you over his desk and combed your hair, but didn't even ask you before he started.
	Those who are, who supported the 2015 net neutrality rules.
	We don't use the sheep diss very often, but this is pretty, this is a good use of sheep.
	Yeah.
	I don't know, I think it's Edward Sango saying it's frozen.
	I don't think the stream is frozen.
	It's working fine.
	It is...
	Well, you know what's going to happen with Facebook.
	The good thing for us is we probably won't be that harmed because Facebook was caught throttling us and we have them on record admitting that we weren't the kind of news they wanted to go after.
	So if they want to, come on Facebook.
	And by the way, this is a good time to mention lotterworthcreditor.com slash MugClub.
	The only reason we were able to hire my half-Asian lawyer, Bill Richman, and put him now on retainer.
	So Bill Richman is now going to be on retainer is because of you joining at lotterworthcreditor.com slash MugClub.
	Hit the overlay there, NotKJared.
	Hit the overlay.
	Hit the overlay.
	LouderWithCrowder.com.
	Bill Richmond, good example.
	Great guy.
	SMU Law grad.
	Unbelievable lawyer.
	And he said, this is the most entertaining job I've ever done.
	He loves working with us and now we're able to put him on retainer.
	Not only that, but give him profit sharing in the Louder With Crowder enterprise.
	Because listen, it's taken a lot of time.
	And guess what?
	He did some of it pro bono.
	Bill Richmond has worked with CRTV and us and he gave us his services for free sometimes.
	He comes in when he records these commercials, he's not charging.
	You know why?
	Because he's a conservative and he understands that we're fighting back.
	I don't think you've closed the fridge all the way.
	Close the fridge all the way, you behemoth!
	Kind of sexy, you're making me uncomfortable.
	So all of this, everyone you see working, but also a bunch of people, I forgot him when we were talking about employees.
	Bill Richmond's going to be, he's been on retainer here in our partnership with CRTV, and then he's going to be on retainer specifically under Mug Club in 2018.
	Because listen, Shia LaBeouf, Mashable, Facebook.
	They keep losing.
	YouTube, they keep losing.
	We have yet to lose.
	Set them up, knock them down.
	And we've said this, we don't expect to be the shark of online media, but we can make ourselves a puffer fish.
	You have made us a puffer fish.
	And the reputation has followed us.
	When we went to the YouTube Summit, they just said, oh, yeah, pick someone else.
	Pick someone else.
	They did this whole... I remember I overheard people talking.
	They said, well, what do you mean?
	What do you mean with the lateral cuddle?
	What do they do?
	I said, oh, the adpocalypse kind of happened.
	And they were like, oh, well, everyone was complaining.
	They said, no, no, no, no, no.
	They did this whole Tranny Bain uprising thing where they read verbatim things that weren't in safe mode.
	And their stuff was a jihadi bond.
	They went really public with it.
	They have this lawyer just...
	Like, it's just, like, unless you really have something on them, they're like, don't do it.
	They know Bill Richmond by name at YouTube.
	And that's entirely because of ModClub.
	Yeah.
	So thank you guys so much.
	You guys do a great job.
	Uh, do we have to go?
	Is this when we have, uh, segment three?
	Uh, coming up soon.
	In about ten minutes.
	Hey, I got a question.
	Um, there's games, too, right?
	There are some games.
	But we're not doing, uh, well, no, it says here on the schedule that we have YouTube Carol 3.
	Ooh.
	Do we have a 3?
	We can launch it.
	It says that at 1.30.
	Yeah.
	And the only reason is because I have to go to the bathroom because I ate lunch and that was the first time actually I drank some caffeine.
	Yeah.
	And so now I really have to, um, as Obama said, it got us all wee-weed up.
	By the way, my impressions will be, there will be nine by this evening because someone said, please do the Bernie voice.
	Hold on a second.
	Before we go, Sven, computer, add something.
	BB, do we want to, uh, ring the bell a little bit more?
	Yes, let's ring the bell, by the way, for Mug Club members.
	Thank you so much, by the way.
	The people who've joined Mug Club, it's the only way we're able to do this and fight back.
	And I don't expect you to watch all of this.
	I get that it's not fun.
	You have to.
	Believe me, I know.
	You have to.
	Believe me, I know.
	I know.
	I know.
	Let's go.
	Boom.
	Thank you, Dadward84.
	Thank you very much.
	Who?
	Dad, at Dadward84.
	Beep beep.
	Okay, Dadward84.
	Thank you very much!
	Yes!
	At BennyJ2345.
	Thank you, Mr. J!
	There we go.
	Albert Prada.
	Thank you very much.
	There we go.
	Thank you very much!
	Joshua McTiernan.
	Thank you very much.
	Thank you very much, Joshua!
	That was very Jewish of you.
	Gino, at TheGino.
	Thank you very much.
	Gino, thank you very much!
	And Alex Brown.
	Alex Brown, thank you very much.
	Thank you so much to more Mug Club members.
	Every time you join Mug Club, Candy Crowley gains 10 pounds.
	So, uh, I believe that we are going to have, uh, right now.
	Right now, right?
	Segment three.
	Okay, so there are five segments.
	Five segments.
	We've said it's a five segment miniseries of, uh, a YouTube Carol.
	The tale for those who have missed segment one and segment two.
	I think we're going to rerun all the segments at the end of the night.
	I was going to ask you that.
	Put them all together.
	I had a question about that.
	For people who missed them.
	So we're going to do one through, uh, and then before the five, before the final segment, the fifth segment, we're going to run segments one through four again.
	So you can get the whole story.
	Gotcha.
	Tale of Ebeneezer YouTube.
	The man, the creator of YouTube, in life was partners with CEO Susan Wojcicki.
	He's being visited right where we last left Ebeneezer YouTube.
	He was visited by the spirit of Susan Wojcicki.
	And then he was warned that he would be visited by three spirits.
	Ghost of Christmas Past was Trini Blair White.
	Lovely Trini.
	Great ghost.
	And then I believe now we are at the point where He awaits more apparatus.
	Ebeneezer YouTube, because I know who is in this.
	And he is amazing.
	This is Ebeneezer YouTube seeing... I'm just thinking of him, I'm sorry.
	The ghost of YouTube present.
	Let's see what kind of redemption there is for Ebeneezer YouTube.
	A YouTube Carol, segment three.
	Restless and still pondering the lessons of the first spirit.
	It wasn't long before Ebenezer YouTube found himself awakened by yet another apparition.
	Squeak Hello.
	Hey.
	Are you the ghost of Christmas present?
	Yep.
	Should I come in?
	I know you better, man.
	Well, if you want.
	I must say I've never quite met anyone like you, Spirit.
	Really?
	More than 1,800 of my brothers have come before me.
	1,800?
	Why?
	What a precedent.
	Precedence.
	I don't... Precedent is a legal opinion upon which other legal opinions are based.
	Precedence is about priority and order of things.
	Yes, of course.
	Teach me tonight's lesson, spirit.
	I am prepared to learn from the present.
	All right, fine.
	Touch my robe.
	I'm not entirely comfortable.
	It's not like that.
	Don't be a dick.
	You gotta touch my robe in order to get this transport thing.
	Look, just... Come on.
	Right now.
	Oh, Ebeneezer!
	I'm just kidding!
	I'm just kidding!
	Let's go.
	Oh.
	Oh, yes, spirit.
	It's my nephew, Fred.
	It's Fred Computer and his roommate, Gerald.
	Do you want to play a game?
	Me?
	Obviously.
	Oh, okay.
	Let's play a game of yes or no.
	I'll be it.
	Okay.
	What's trending on YouTube right now?
	Guess.
	Is it... Ben Shapiro?
	No.
	Is it... Ruben?
	Certainly not.
	Is it... Louder With Crowd- Don't be silly.
	Wait!
	Is it an unwanted video?
	Always.
	Is it wildly unpopular?
	Of course!
	So it's not Shapiro.
	It's not Ruben.
	It's an unwanted video, but it's trending anyway.
	Why?
	It's BuzzFeed Boldly painting in period blood!
	Yes!
	Only 18,000 plays in six days.
	And it's still number one trend?
	What about your video?
	Two million plays!
	In one day?
	I'll groom my ass.
	I'm getting deported.
	Oh spirit, I never meant to hurt my own nephew.
	You must understand that BuzzFeed women painting in period blood had to take precedence.
	Precedence?
	Look, it doesn't even matter.
	We've got more to see.
	Let's go.
	Oh, Spirit.
	I can't bear anymore.
	Show me no more.
	Please, Spirit.
	I can't even.
	Come on, let's go. - Spirit.
	That sound got Cratchit's house.
	Yes.
	Father!
	Father, come and see!
	My latest video has 200,000 plays in just three hours!
	Such a mega-feast.
	Well, very appreciated.
	What is it?
	It's already been demonetized.
	Already?
	They seem to be getting demonetized faster this time of year.
	Oh, don't worry about it right now.
	Come on, you need some rest.
	Come on.
	Such a remarkable child.
	Indeed.
	Tell me, spirit.
	What does he have?
	It's indigestion.
	Oh, don't worry.
	I'll find another way to pay for your anti-retroviral treatment.
	I'm done with my last 200 CD pornos!
	Tell me Tony, not Kate Jared Woodleaf.
	That is a question for the future.
	It's not my gig.
	But I will tell you that if these shadows remain unaltered, ergo, you don't stop being a dick, the child will die.
	Oh, spirit.
	Tell me he can be saved.
	Oh, Spirit.
	Why should you leave me so soon?
	My time on this Earth... is very brief.
	Sorry, Chuck.
	Oh, Spirit.
	I feel as though I've learned so much from you.
	Yet, I could stand to learn more.
	The rest is for the Ghost of Christmas yet to come.
	Oh, tell me, Spirit.
	Does Tiny not get Jared to have to die?
	Well, if he'd rather die, then he'd better do it.
	And decrease the surplus population.
	Do you remember you said that?
	I remember.
	It was a callback to the thing that you said.
	I remember.
	Are you sure you remember?
	I'll go ahead.
	Do you want to sit under my rope?
	Alone with his thoughts, Ebeneezer YouTube found himself cloaked with dread.
	For he knew what awaited him next.
	Now, all right, boys, it's time to try and learn to fly.
	Who's willing to step up?
	I'll give it a try, Mr. Coach.
	Okay, boy, that's good.
	Now try and get your flight underneath you.
	Oh, wow!
	Great first start!
	Look at him go!
	I'm flying!
	I'm flying!
	Yippee!
	Now great job, son.
	What's your name?
	Oh wow, that's hideous.
	Let's not let this young man join in any reindeer games.
	Oh, my stupid nose ruins everything.
	I don't mind your nose, Rudolph.
	I think it's cute.
	I'm cute?
	She thinks it's cute?
	She thinks I'm cute!
	I'm cute!
	Real quick, do you consent to what's about to be forthcoming?
	Gosh, that... bomb there.
	Are we back up?
	Are we good to go?
	Awesome, sweet.
	Man, I love it.
	I love it.
	That character looked very familiar.
	He was on top of my tongue.
	Yeah, it's not real clear.
	I gotta tell you, so far I'm loving this.
	I can't wait to see 4 and 5.
	I'm kind of taking this journey with everybody else out there.
	I get to see all this and we get to see little Fred computer in there.
	It's very nice.
	Very nice.
	Good job, Fred computer.
	He's not here.
	I'm not saying that to anybody in the room.
	Take the camera off of the man.
	All right, so now we're back up with CNN, and they're talking about a North Korean soldier defecting at the border with the South.
	Second defection in less than two months, and the fourth one this year.
	That's news?
	Somebody's going to run from the frozen hell of North Korea.
	By the way, how many U.N.
	resolutions... Smith Computer, look this up.
	How many U.N.
	resolutions this year have condemned North Korea versus how many have condemned...
	Israel.
	Anybody want to take any bets on who has more UN resolutions condemning them?
	Let's just compare these two.
	One place has freedom and opportunity and a fantastic economy.
	The other place is literally a frozen hell whose leader is so insecure that everybody has to do what he says and say he's the best looking, has the best haircut, has the best girl, can shoot 18 holes of golf and 18 strokes.
	And there was some other weird...
	That's why he's not filming the Asian Muppets spinoff.
	Yes, exactly, right?
	So how many have condemned that one versus this other one where...
	I wish this carol.
	Yes, it's kind of weird.
	I'm betting, yeah, Steven's milling around, he's doing some stuff.
	I've been cleaning up stuff because it got dirty and I'm obsessive.
	He is obsessive.
	About cleanliness.
	But not the compulsive part, just the obsessive.
	Hey, but if I bend over and I fix this stuff... Oh, oh, is that the money shot right there?
	Oh, hi!
	Oh, you're off screen, thank God.
	Rack the bell.
	Rack the bell.
	Just.
	Get it.
	I've got to pour some in that.
	This vessel is great.
	It holds so much liquid.
	You know, you could put a beer, like, on your arse, and it would stay.
	Oh, absolutely.
	I have done it.
	It's like a shelf.
	So, for a lot of people, do we have a long enough shot where you can see me on the floor here?
	Yeah, okay, so for people who don't know do we have any M&Ms or anything?
	Yeah, North Korean soldier defects at border with South.
	No shit!
	We were talking about that.
	So, does anyone have anything like M&M's or something like that?
	I got drugs.
	Can you see?
	You got drugs?
	Yeah, what are you gonna do?
	Give me something, just so I'll show you, because I have a giant butt and I have an inverted sternum.
	It can't be like chips.
	I don't want crumbles on me.
	It has to be something solid.
	Something solid and rolly?
	Some coffee beans.
	Okay, give me a handful of coffee beans.
	A handful of coffee beans.
	Coffee sucks anyway, so you waste whatever you want.
	Don't get it on the floor, because coffee beans will kill Hopper.
	Okay, so picture these.
	Can they see clearly?
	Do we need to turn up any light?
	They can see it once you get it on your chest, I believe.
	Do we need anyone to turn up any light?
	This is true, okay?
	So, by the way, I'm protecting my pecker with my Walther appendix carry.
	Thank you so much, Walther, for sponsoring the show.
	You guys have balls of steel.
	That's right.
	So, when I was a kid, I have rested a beer.
	I've tried it.
	You have?
	I have rested a beer on my ass while I'm vertical.
	Okay, there you go.
	Now you can see me.
	So, when I was a kid, I'm missing a portion of a sternum.
	Alright, here you go.
	So, let's do it this way.
	We're selling some sex.
	Join Mug Club here.
	Oh my gosh, it looks so S&M right now, with this.
	So I would sit and watch TV, right?
	So I'd have a pillow here, and because of my inverted sternum, right here, look, I would put my M&Ms Right in there.
	That is awesome.
	And just eat from them.
	Now, I know you think I can do that.
	Right now, try and do it.
	I guarantee you, you can't.
	All you normies, all you cis normies, look at this.
	Normies.
	You can put more.
	Look, actually, okay, let's do this.
	Let's grab the coffee beans, Jared.
	Let's see how many coffee beans we can fit.
	Ooh, well, you can fit them before they start rolling off.
	What are we talking about?
	Okay, so hold on.
	One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
	Let's take bets!
	Let's take bets on Twitter.
	I'm going to guess... I'm going to guess 40.
	Hold on, hold on, hold on.
	Before you do, Edward, before you do.
	Bets on... Because CNN sucks shit and there's nothing on there right now.
	This is what we resort to.
	This is the absurdity of the 24-hour cable news cycle.
	Join my club.
	I've humiliated myself enough.
	Don't put them in, Sound Guy Edward, until I tell you to.
	I don't want to get one extra minute of humiliation that is necessary.
	I have my pride!
	No you don't.
	So, okay.
	Let's see, let's take bets on Twitter.
	Courtney, Reg, whoever's doing it, take bets.
	How many to just count? 18?
	13, 18, 13.
	Take them out and count again.
	How many coffee beans can we fit in Crowder's Turnham?
	Hashtag CrowderCNNLivestream.
	Alright, 1, 2, everyone count!
	3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13.
	You're right.
	I was right!
	So that's 13 right now.
	Oh my gosh, they look like rat droppings.
	Everyone count.
	Three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen.
	You were right.
	I was right.
	Okay, so that's thirteen right now.
	Yes.
	Hold on.
	Oh, my gosh.
	They look like rad droppings.
	I can just see the Photoshop.
	All right.
	So does anyone have a pillow?
	Give me some.
	My head doesn't hurt so much.
	Yeah, we'll find that.
	Alright, someone give me a pillow.
	What's in here?
	This better not be a bomb.
	Okay, there's 13.
	Alright, let me cover my nipples.
	This is a family show.
	Okay.
	The hell it is.
	Not a word!
	Thirteen!
	Let's take bets!
	Alright?
	I'm saying fifty.
	Fifty.
	Twenty-six.
	Twenty-six?
	Fifty.
	How many can we fit before they start to trickle out?
	Fifty.
	Thirty-five.
	No, no, no.
	You don't need to throw them in or you're going to have to get up in there.
	Okay.
	Fifty.
	Fourteen.
	Do it faster.
	Come on.
	Fifteen.
	Sixteen.
	Seventeen.
	Eighteen.
	Nineteen.
	Twenty.
	Come on.
	Twenty-one.
	Twenty-two.
	Twenty-three.
	Twenty-four.
	Twenty-five.
	You're going to be way off.
	Oh, man.
	Twenty-six.
	Twenty-seven.
	I'm closer.
	Twenty-eight.
	Twenty-nine.
	30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, hold on a second, 37.
	Let me just make sure it's even, right?
	When I was a kid, they'd be like, do you want a bowl for your M&M's?
	I'd be like, hell no, I don't want a bowl.
	I came built in with one.
	I don't want a bowl.
	I'm going to use my body.
	I'm a minimalist.
	Alright, 5 more.
	2, 3, 4.
	You lost count, didn't you?
	Yeah, it was 36.
	I didn't make any recounts.
	I'm still holding 36.
	No, 36. 36.
	37, 38, 39... 39 coffee beans in my sternum that's missing!
	42, 43, 44, 45... 45!
	45!
	Hold on... 46, 47... Hold on a second, hold on a second.
	I gotta flatten it, because it's not fair if it's not... We do have to make the most of the inverted sternum space.
	Okay?
	Picture little Steven.
	Picture little Steven.
	Little brain from Arthur.
	I would just sit here and eat M&M's all day.
	48, 49... Come on, 50!
	- 48, 49. - Come on, 50! - 50. - 51, 52. - 53. - 53, 54. - 54, 55. - Gosh, this is gonna go on forever. - 56, 57, 58, 59.
	50!
	57, 58, 59.
	Oh, oh, oh.
	No, no, careful, careful.
	Don't do that!
	You're going to break the rules!
	People are wildly entertained.
	Are you not entertained?
	Alright, just go fast.
	I'll just generally count them.
	7.
	7 more.
	Do math.
	We're over 60.
	60.
	You said 28, Jared.
	You suck at estimating.
	There's 5 more.
	- We're over 60. - 60. - You said 28, Jared, you suck at estimating. - I suck at really bad. - There's five more. - There's 65.
	I like the recapping.
	We're not going to have any more coffee beans for the machine when we're done.
	There's five more.
	There's five more.
	What are we, 70?
	75?
	Yeah.
	Keep going.
	There's 10.
	We're 85?
	There's 25 in your hand.
	Put your whole hand down there.
	25 in your hand.
	Whole hand.
	Let's see how much we've got.
	All of it in there.
	Edward, put it in there.
	Look at this!
	Put it in there.
	I didn't think... Oh!
	I don't know.
	Okay, that's enough.
	That's enough.
	We need coffee beans for the... I guess you can eat espresso beans, because they do chocolate covered espresso beans.
	Alright, get them out.
	You don't want to drop any.
	Don't drop any.
	Yeah, don't drop.
	Because we still have enough for the coffee machine, right?
	Yeah, of course.
	Okay, okay.
	How many are there?
	There's uh... Fifteen.
	Eighteen.
	That's an estimate.
	Who cares?
	Over a hundred coffee beans!
	Come on!
	Over a hundred coffee beans in my sternum!
	Just trying to be reasonable!
	What's that?
	That's like, we're getting a hundred, what are we, 150?
	150, yeah.
	Look at this!
	I had no idea how deep it was.
	I had no idea, I had no idea how young I was going to die.
	Because this is a problem that can grow into your... No, no, oh, there we go, that's the limit, that's the limit.
	Oh, it fell.
	Okay, that's the limit.
	That's like 250.
	Let's call it 250.
	Edward, you have to, someone has to pick this up.
	You have to scoop and clean.
	Someone has to pick this up.
	So there you go.
	250!
	Playing prone.
	So when people complain about having a weird body shape, I have titties.
	And the reason I have man breasts in a weird way is because my sternum is inverted.
	Hold on, don't move, don't move, don't move.
	Half of it.
	Don't move.
	Get these.
	Yeah, they went under my back.
	What's going on CNN?
	Trump speaks to media, breaking news.
	Ahead of Walter Reed visits.
	Ahead of Walter Reed visits.
	I thought it was going to be with the... Hold on a second.
	We got something behind here.
	I don't want coffee beans down in my lower back.
	Yeah.
	Alright, hold on a second.
	Hold on a second.
	Oh, this is... Damn.
	Oh, let's go.
	Let's cut to Jared.
	Let's cut to... Let's cut to a... Let's cut to something.
	Close shot of somebody.
	I'm reaching my back here.
	Hold on.
	Let me get the video.
	Oh, my God!
	I have to go to the audio.
	I don't know where it's at.
	A bunch fell in here somewhere.
	Your ass is down there.
	Yeah, I know.
	I feel it.
	I know.
	I feel it.
	Nothing.
	I got nothing.
	I'm just kidding.
	I got nothing in my hair.
	Last little jerk.
	Alright.
	So there we go.
	Who bet?
	Sven, bring up the overlay.
	Who bet 200 coffee beans?
	Let's make sure there are none here first.
	That was one person who said 200, but that was like 41 seconds ago, so I think that's cheated.
	There was no one that close.
	There was no one that close?
	No.
	Everyone guessed way less?
	Yeah.
	I can't hear you.
	60, 70, 80.
	Beep beep.
	Alright.
	That's what you tipped in for.
	Are you not entertained?
	Are you not entertained?
	Random draw will decide the winner of the Virginia Statehouse race.
	Okay, well there's something that's actually kind of newsy.
	Because might as well.
	Hold on a second.
	Alright, keep it going while I check the Twitter here.
	Well, you know what, Sven, get us the closest person and then we'll get them a free shirt.
	Free shirt to whoever guessed this with the missing circle.
	I never realized that, like, you've heard me say it before, but that's a lot of coffee beans.
	It is.
	That was, like, the whole jar.
	Can you grind them?
	How many shots do you think that probably is?
	Espresso shots?
	That's probably at least, like, three, four?
	Espresso shots?
	Way more than that.
	Really?
	I don't even know.
	Way more than that.
	All you weirdos that drink coffee and espresso.
	So, who's getting a t-shirt?
	I'm sorry, what?
	Who guessed the closest?
	Well, there was one person who said 200, but that person was, like, 42.
	No, no, no.
	Go back to the beginning of it.
	So, before we started it, who was the closest in their guess?
	Right.
	And so, this is the problem.
	With 24-hour news is that you get the same story 74 times.
	Again, it's an interesting story.
	They brought this up multiple times.
	I've seen it twice since I've been here, once earlier, every single time.
	And so I think what it did is it came down to a vote and they showed like the sheet where somebody drew a line through one candidate and then circled the other one, like trying to change the scantron for your test and it doesn't work.
	Same thing.
	So they're just going to draw film canisters.
	They just pick four topics for the day and just kill them all.
	And they're like, hey, so what should we do next?
	Um, I don't know, Russia?
	Maybe Trump and Russia and Trump and prostitutes?
	It's just like every radio station you hate that plays the same tunes all along.
	You're like... If the Democrats win, the parties are going to split control of the lower chamber.
	This is more entertaining than an election, sorry!
	At least this can't be bought, right?
	You can't just throw too much money at it.
	You're flipping a coin, basically.
	I'd like to see, like, physical contests, or maybe math.
	I don't know.
	Can we get some smart and active people in Congress?
	Alright, I know this is a state house race.
	Oh, okay, sorry.
	Go ahead, continue.
	At least when Pence has to break a tie, it seems like there's some rationale behind it.
	He comes down and fulfills... Oh, hold on!
	Now time for some real news!
	Real news!
	Look at this guy!
	You gotta get him over to you, man.
	This is good.
	Go over there, bud.
	Go, go, go.
	Ow!
	When he steps on your foot... Oh geez!
	I got it.
	I got it.
	The Republican love fest, shall we call it, over taxes.
	Oh, hold on.
	He's focused on more media issues.
	Deadline level.
	Spending for almost every government function online.
	The dog is that compensated.
	We hooked him.
	Deadline.
	We'll take you back to Washington.
	We hooked him!
	He's got it going on, man.
	It's like that Kansas City Chiefs commercial where it's the Raiders guy and he's got the little vest that lights up.
	Hey, listen.
	If you don't join Mug Club, Hopper can't play for Hopper's veterinary bills.
	If you don't join Mug Club, Hopper will die.
	Little Hoppers will die everywhere if you don't join Mug Club.
	I don't want you looking at my face, but I can kiss your nose.
	There you go.
	Good boy, Hopper.
	Do you want to take that off?
	Hopper, do you want to take that off?
	That's a steal.
	Hey, I saw a vet that signed up when I was looking through my Twitter feed.
	Oh, nice.
	Fantastic.
	People signing up.
	So, continue with what you were saying.
	More than one vet.
	Oh, that's what I was talking about.
	You know the irony in the Facebook fake news?
	They let the story trend for days.
	Yeah.
	Sorry.
	They let the story trend for days on...
	I'm trying to remember the story here.
	It was the Facebook... Oh yeah, it was the WikiLeaks.
	The WikiLeaks that Donald Trump Jr.
	had direct contact with WikiLeaks.
	Remember?
	It just turned out some random guy.
	They ran that for days as though... Now here's the thing.
	Was there contact with some... Sure.
	But they ran it... The story... They ran the story that Donald Trump Jr.
	was in contact with WikiLeaks.
	Yeah.
	And Facebook ran that for days.
	That's the big irony.
	Everybody runs it.
	They just pick it up and run with it.
	And then they don't do any research.
	And the problem is, is that it doesn't... We're not asking them to be, like, incredible investigative journalists.
	We're not asking for that.
	No.
	We'd love for that.
	Who are they?
	CNN?
	Yeah.
	But we're asking them to do some basic research before they run with this stuff, and they don't do that.
	No.
	These things are very easy.
	You and I can go online and debunk these things in ten minutes.
	You've got an entire editorial staff that can't do that?
	Are you serious?
	When it comes to this, so we have different people who do, you know, Aaron, the intern edits, and he's brilliant with editing.
	And Jared helps with a lot of that, too.
	And Jared helps with some sketch ideas and everyone.
	But when it comes to research, there's really, it's me, Reg, and then Sven.
	That's it.
	And Reg is scary.
	Reg is scary, but that's it.
	Don't get on his bad list.
	And by the way, I'm usually not doing research.
	Usually what happens is I watch Samantha Beer.
	I watch them on CNN and I go, hold on a second.
	What was that vote in Congress for?
	What was the vote?
	Didn't it go through the House and Senate?
	The Senate and House?
	And by how much did it pass in 95 to recognize Jerusalem?
	It wasn't supposed to happen by 95?
	I usually, I have so much that I remember.
	Look at there.
	They've got the leg cam.
	Look at that, just seeing up the dress.
	Great for you, CNN, keeping your journalistic integrity.
	That's very Fox-ish.
	Brooke Baldwin will tell everyone who will listen, I'm a journalist.
	And when you're like, hey, nice gams, you're a sexist.
	You literally just got an angle.
	You got a wide angle lens up your dress, Brooke Baldwin.
	Gotta have some standards.
	For crying out loud, I'm surprised CNN doesn't broadcast from a sigmoidoscope.
	So I guess with Wolf Blitzer, you might have to, his head's so far up his ass.
	So what happened is, I don't even know what I was talking about.
	You're talking about the stories, Reg and Research.
	So it's Reg and Sven, and I just have so much that I remember, and I go, hey, I don't know exactly how this is BS.
	And I think with Israel, I might have been like, it's like 300-something to 10.
	You know how it is, you just know.
	And then Reg and Sven find it.
	And we very rarely get caught flat-footed with anything that's actually wrong.
	We certainly haven't this year.
	Yeah, have we?
	I don't think so.
	The one picture.
	We use the picture of the wrong transgender.
	Right.
	What?
	Did we just turn off the light in here?
	Oh, okay.
	Can you still see me or do I look too shadowy?
	Can you guys?
	Oh, geez.
	Aaron the intern is here.
	Hey, you want this chair?
	No, no, no, no.
	Aaron the intern is here, everybody.
	Oh my gosh, look at you.
	Here, I'll help you.
	I wonder whose idea it was for him to wear this.
	I hope he likes it.
	You feel comfortable in that?
	This is actually the most comfortable I've been all day.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	You like that outfit?
	Is there any stretch in it?
	No.
	How many beers have you put in that?
	Because I know that Stine.
	That's a big Stine.
	This is two beers.
	It's two beers?
	Yeah.
	Because I remember we used to take that to the Stine Night at Brewery Navant.
	Yeah.
	And it was Stine Night like on Mondays.
	And they were like, oh it was free mug night where you brought your own mug and they'd fill it for five bucks and I would bring that and they'd be like, damn it!
	Shoot!
	It's like the fat guy walking into the buffet.
	We're losing money tonight.
	How are you doing?
	You were watching the stream?
	Yeah, I've been watching it.
	It's good.
	It's good stuff.
	The last 30 minutes was epic.
	Don't disturb me.
	Now are you a CNN watcher?
	No.
	No.
	I don't watch any news really.
	You're really instilling confidence that you work on our show there, Aaron the intern.
	You didn't let me finish.
	I said I read the news.
	Oh, you read the news.
	What do you read?
	I think, and Courtney was saying this, I think that we probably go through more news in six hours at Loud or with Crowder than CNN goes through in a day.
	Yeah.
	As far as like actual news stories.
	He's aiming the guns away.
	They're not loaded.
	They're not loaded.
	We're hoping for a ricochet, right?
	One of them might be.
	One of them might have in the magazine and nothing in the chamber.
	Well, I can tell you it's not, it's not racked.
	No, no, don't, don't, don't fool around.
	Don't mess with it with the gloves.
	Don't mess with it with the gloves.
	Come on.
	That's just a, come on.
	Walther is sponsoring us.
	They don't want us to say, hey, the guy in the bunny suit accidentally discharged one.
	Oh, geez!
	Look who's on CNN right now!
	Who the hell is that?
	Oh, boy.
	pleads for government funding mother pleads for government to keep funding kids insurance rachel hoffman who's rachel hoffman can someone run some research on this why is she in the news please don't tell me they just plucked out a mother to say republicans want kids to die well they always do that jared bring up this right now so people can see there's this mother i mean i i've uh portly who by the way look at that's her on the left and that's her on the right that's her instagram picture Come on.
	She is, look at, she, every trick in the book.
	Welcome to online dating world, buddy.
	You never know.
	I know.
	That's why I, you gotta meet in person.
	Look at her face, look, I can just see her, can someone give me volume on it?
	She's, I just see her doing this, like the attitude, and I can't even hear her right now.
	This is what?
	But you know what she's saying.
	Who is this woman?
	Does anyone know who this woman is?
	Spending computers on it?
	Look!
	Oh, let's see what she says.
	Rachel Hoffman.
	Who is this woman?
	Why, no!
	Does anyone know who this woman is?
	What would happen then?
	What would your office say?
	Hold on, let's see what she says.
	It would be pretty scary.
	I could try to put her on insurance through work.
	I know, but who is Rachel Hoffman?
	You know, there's no telling how much would be covered.
	Insurance for nine million kids hangs in the balance.
	It doesn't.
	No, it doesn't.
	as you know six to seven times via ambulance she spent more than a combined total of 21 days in the hospital at one point i mean four days in the hospital can run eleven thousand dollars and that's a lot to cover even if you're just doing a cop you get screwed pretty pretty heavily it is obviously cuddling to parents like you the the notion of kicking the chip can down the road this But you know that's not what's going on.
	Here, by the way, this goes back to our hit list.
	This is the Chip program.
	Right, Chip?
	Nine million tiny Tims I said earlier?
	This is important because we're coming back to it.
	So this is a good example.
	They talked about something earlier.
	They said nine million tiny Tims, right?
	Yeah.
	No editorialization there, just the most trusted name in news.
	And now, and by the way, it's completely false, okay?
	The Republicans have actually put forward a plan to fund CHIP for another five years.
	Democrats just have to vote on it, they don't like the funding mechanism.
	So earlier they editorialized with nine million tiny Tims to die, and now it says nine million kids hanging in the balance.
	The only reason this woman is up here is because they want to put a face to it to make you feel bad as though Republicans want to take away health care.
	They're taking the same story and recycling it In a way that solely appeals to emotions.
	Okay, let's look at the intellectual argument.
	Okay?
	Okay, you play liberal.
	Alright.
	Oh, jeez.
	Okay, you play liberal right now with what they're saying.
	But hold on, let's see what Rick Santorum says.
	Senator Rick Santorum is here.
	Okay, please, Senator Rick Santorum.
	Please lay into them.
	Lay into Mrs. Early 90's haircut pantsuit there on the left.
	Her name's Pam.
	She looks like her name is Pam.
	It's really, as Hazel's mom said, terrifying.
	And it's important to recognize that this exists for people who are working and make too much money to qualify for Medicare or Medicaid, but don't, as the mom said, have the resources to fully cover these really serious medical conditions.
	So this mom and her family, they're doing what America tells them to do.
	Go out there and get a job and work.
	Really?
	Bitching on CNN is a job?
	I mean, I know bitching at CNN, technically, right now is a job.
	But that's because of you, lateralthecutter.com.
	You made this opportunity possible.
	Thank you.
	16 hours.
	Doesn't get any worse.
	16 hours.
	Doesn't get any worse.
	If in three weeks from now, this safety net is gone.
	Gone.
	How can she do that appropriately?
	Okay. - I brought a casserole to the church pot.
	She's the kind of one who would bring, like, the tuna casserole to the potluck and be like, Damn it, Pam!
	We said we had nine tuna casseroles!
	We said anything but tuna casserole!
	Hold on, Santorum.
	This is teed up.
	Hold on, I just want to keep interrupting her now because she's repeating the same point ad nauseam.
	Look at Brooke- Okay, let's also look at Brooke Baldwin's face.
	Right now, she's looking at her with sincerity.
	She's looking at her with empathy, okay?
	This is the soft bias that you may not see.
	Watch when Senator Santorum starts to speak.
	By the way, I love Senator Santorum on CNN, but he looks like Wallace and Grumman.
	And how much time will she give him to respond?
	Yeah, let's see.
	So she's had what?
	Have we had a time?
	It's 3.05.
	She was at least 3.03.
	So she's had at least two full minutes to people watching.
	Hashtag Crowder CNN live stream.
	Okay.
	You are compassionate as a father of many, you know, in hearing this whole story.
	It's just, I know this is also about the deficit.
	We say Republicans want to fund this for five years, Rick Ventura.
	Look at Baldwin's face.
	Look at how the softness is gone from her face.
	We say Republicans want to fund this for five years.
	OK.
	Well, with all due respect, I haven't heard a single Republican talking about not reauthorizing chip or not funding chip.
	This is not a controversial issue.
	Look at Baldwin's face.
	We need to cut.
	Look at how the softness is gone from her face.
	Do you see that now?
	Pam and Brooke.
	They're upset.
	They don't like that he's speaking.
	And interrupted.
	Look at this!
	And interrupted again.
	20 seconds.
	20 seconds in!
	And interrupted.
	Look at this!
	And interrupted again.
	From 3.02 to 3.05, he started speaking at 3.06. 20 seconds.
	He was interrupted 20 seconds in.
	20 seconds in, and the actual senator, Pam, has been cut off.
	Was cut off immediately.
	Do you want to take this off, Hopper?
	Go ahead and take it off.
	I'll rip it.
	Look at that!
	Look at the face of Brooke Baldwin.
	Does anyone else see this?
	Look at the face of Brooke Baldwin.
	It's like when Hopper looks at you for... Hopper, come on.
	Go ahead.
	Go, go, go.
	Look it down if it's interested.
	Okay, so now he's had 40 seconds.
	Combined.
	Not uninterrupted.
	Now, there may be legislative reasons for it to be delayed until March.
	You put in the CR and it's going to be a bigger package of this.
	You know what?
	I understand how that can be disconcerting.
	But let me just give you all the assurance that I can.
	The chip funding is going to continue.
	There will not be cuts in it.
	Oh, gosh.
	The lady on the left has the face of the crazy one on Y-Swap.
	but I can tell you the one program The lady on the left has a face of the crazy one on White Swap.
	I hope Rick is right.
	I said it right.
	We all do.
	I really do.
	But we need to know for the record the Republicans control the House and the Senate and CHIP expired in October.
	How does money run out?
	Because it's being spent.
	Some states will certainly run out by all accounting and analysis out there by the end.
	How does money run out?
	Because it's being spent.
	Who spends more money than anyone?
	But it's not the same thing as a program.
	Stop it.
	Really?
	We hope?
	You really hope that he's right?
	So, Edward, bring that down.
	Bring that down.
	This is crazy.
	- Speak louder than the words the senator referenced.
	- We hope for, listen, let's take the senator, we hope the senator is right, and we hope that, you know, - Really?
	We hope?
	- We're continuing funding it for a long time.
	- You really hope that he's right? - Let's stop taxes.
	Let's move on to that.
	- Edward, bring that down, bring that down.
	This is crazy, this is crazy.
	The thing is, you hope, you just threw something out there and said Republicans are probably going to let children die.
	Yeah.
	We hope they're going to fund it.
	It's never not been funded.
	Everybody has talked about Chip being taken care of.
	It's never going to be a problem.
	No, it's never not been.
	Yeah.
	What it is, and what they don't talk about... And it's a scare tactic now.
	Oh, here we show the Disney broad again.
	For crying out loud!
	Can I say something, too, without being sexist?
	No.
	Look at what time of day it is.
	I mean, you can say it, but it'll be sexist no matter what.
	Well, it's funny that they ran this story.
	It's not funny that they ran this story right now.
	And I don't say this is a sexist thing at all, but more moms are watching right now than will be later.
	Yeah.
	And so this is pulling at the heartstrings of moms.
	It's true.
	They're gonna let your kids die.
	Right.
	Right?
	They switched from Tyra, Oprah.
	I don't know who's going on right now.
	Who's the one who fainted?
	It was the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life.
	What does that mean for the evening news?
	Well, the evening news is going to be all Trump and politics and hardcore.
	It means because men tend to work more.
	No, don't, now be nice.
	No, it's true.
	Women, there are more stay-at-home moms than stay-at-home dads.
	I agree, 100%.
	Wendy Williams.
	She's the one who faked it and I about peed myself laughing because she was fine afterwards.
	But did you see that you were right?
	Three minutes, 20 seconds.
	If we did a stopwatch on this, And then we're back to Chappelle.
	So now they just showed a Disney clip, a liberal, and now they're showing a Dave Chappelle clip saying Trump is fighting for me, not the poor.
	So look, we have a Democrat guest, Pam, we have a liberal host, and we have one Republican former senator guest, who they've interrupted.
	And now they've shown a pro-Democrat clip from a Disney broad, and now a pro-Democrat clip from Dave Chappelle.
	So basically, we've now stacked the deck, host, guest, two clips, four to one.
	I was about to say, how many— The most awesome thing I ever knew.
	How many Republicans have we seen on here, other than when they're cutting away to a conference or something like that, when the Republicans are announcing the tax plan?
	How many voices of opposition have they brought on today?
	Does anybody know?
	Well, here's something even worse.
	Not only that, it's been one that I've seen, maybe two.
	I think there was a black guy from the Wall Street Journal.
	Do you know where that Disney clip came from?
	Aaron the Intern, you'll know this.
	So now this one?
	Yes!
	That's exactly it!
	Oh, yeah.
	We do this stuff all the time.
	Okay.
	Alright, I think we have some games to play.
	Aaron, the intern, everybody.
	Thank you so much.
	I don't want to keep you drinking your beer.
	It is just, now this.
	Now for those people who don't know, now this is an incredibly liber- is now this?
	Thank you.
	And the intern, everybody.
	They just don't make costumes in our sizes.
	No, there you go.
	Grab that microphone.
	Thanks.
	It is just now this.
	Now, for those people who don't know, now this is an incredibly liberal.
	Is now this?
	Who is now this?
	It's not the occupied Democrats, but it might as well be, right?
	It might as well be.
	I don't think they're on YouTube, but they're a huge Facebook video.
	But it's like Vox, right?
	It's really far left.
	It's like Soros videos for Facebook moms.
	It's Soros videos for Facebook moms.
	So CNN isn't even producing the content.
	They didn't even have the foresight to sit down and interview the Disney lady.
	Right.
	Now this, a Facebook group, by the way, a Facebook group who's going to curate genuine news.
	Right.
	Unbiased.
	Now this creates a clip and then CNN runs it.
	As though it's their own.
	And they say, what do you think, Pam?
	And then Pam goes on for three minutes and they say, what do you think, former Senator Santorum?
	And we have to go, that's it.
	Look at the faces he's getting right now.
	Look at the faces.
	Oh, man.
	At least they're letting him talk.
	I just want to point out one, in the middle of that, what the senator said in terms of some companies.
	He's absolutely correct and I think it's important to point that out.
	Whoa!
	A moment of honesty.
	Wells Fargo, the 5th, 3rd, Bancorp said they plan to hike their company-wide minimum wages to $50 an hour.
	Comcast?
	Comcast, AT&T, Honesty.
	So if you work for MSNBC, you'd be getting a bonus right now.
	She's talking Todd Warner.
	Nevertheless, that's a good thing for the administration.
	Just trying to sneak that in there.
	Go ahead.
	Boom.
	That's funny.
	That was fair.
	She gave him one.
	She did.
	Me too.
	There were falsehoods in what the senator said.
	And I'm not going to comment on Ms. Disney.
	Hold on a second.
	How is that possible?
	83% are from the 1%.
	So what does that mean?
	I'm just saying 83% of the beneficiaries, I guess.
	Not saying 83% of Americans.
	No.
	who will get a tax break from this, a sustained tax break, are from the 1%.
	That's not true.
	Hold on a second.
	How is that possible?
	83% are from the 1%.
	So what does that mean?
	In less than a decade.
	I mean, it's like 5% of the beneficiaries, I guess.
	Not saying 83% of Americans.
	No, no.
	Okay.
	Let me be really clear with you.
	Let's bring this up.
	This is misleading though, so here's why she's saying that.
	She's saying that because the corporate tax rate stays that way forever and you get rid of the inheritance tax.
	Right.
	But these things are supposed to sunset, what, after 10 years?
	How many times have they not been renewed?
	Right.
	Tax cuts tend to get renewed.
	That's the only way that you can make that comment, but it's incredibly misleading to say 87 or whatever she just said, 85% of the beneficiaries are going to be in the 1%.
	Well, yeah, exactly.
	That's so not true.
	Here's the thing.
	Who cares?
	I'm saying it's not true, you're right.
	By the way, no.
	1% would be joint household income of $300,000.
	$300,000 or something.
	It might be $400,000, depending on the numbers you use.
	It's 3-something, 4-something joint household income.
	If you're in New York, that gets you a walk-up.
	You're ashamed and afraid to walk up to.
	Yeah, exactly.
	They give you a bulletproof vest and a set of keys.
	Yes, exactly.
	And say, bob and weave.
	And what they're just doing here is, again, this is what's important with CNN.
	All they're doing is, that's what Bernie Sanders does.
	The 1%, the 12%, the 15%.
	Look at this percent and this percent.
	Well, hold on a second.
	What you're talking about is these corporations being allowed to keep half.
	If you make more than $40,000 a year, you're going to get a tax break.
	How about that?
	If you make more than $44,000 a year, you're going to get a tax break.
	If you don't, it basically stays the same.
	You still get a little one when he's doubling the standard deduction.
	That's a huge tax break for a ton of people.
	People that work for me are going to be able to use that.
	Okay, hold on a second here.
	I want to hear this.
	Good point.
	Good point.
	Look at her shaking her head.
	No, no, no, no, no.
	And Brooke now smirkly laughing.
	No, it's not.
	No.
	It's not.
	I'm Pam.
	The one-time tax raise for the middle class will go away and they will have no permanent benefits.
	But why will they go away?
	This is the thing, they don't explain it.
	Like, as though Donald Trump designed it to go away.
	Tax plans get rescinded.
	Now what you're talking about is a fundamental changing of the highest corporate tax rate in the industrialized world.
	That will do what?
	Spur the economy?
	Of course spur the economy.
	So everybody gets more money.
	We already see it.
	Yes.
	Oh, breaking news.
	Breaking News!
	128 to 9!
	UN votes to condemn Trump's Jerusalem decision.
	Again.
	Guys!
	Anti-tax.
	Breaking News!
	You keep saying that word.
	I don't think it means... Breaking News!
	Breaking News!
	CNN's lying about Breaking News.
	Breaking News!
	We're bullshitting you.
	Breaking News!
	Everything they've said has been a lie!
	When it comes to Breaking News, that's not new.
	Look at the storyline.
	What's considered the time frame, guys?
	Anyone know for Breaking News?
	I don't know, but do you think it's outright lies or just sensationalism?
	I don't know.
	I think this is important to kind of tie into Mug Club because I think these guys are beholden to getting viewers.
	Because they're supposed to be.
	But I'm wondering if it's like if there's considered a cutoff at, you know, I don't know, it's breaking news for 12 hours.
	I don't know if that's their journalistic standards.
	I think this is important to kind of tie into Mug Club because I think these guys are beholden to getting viewers.
	They're beholden to getting clicks.
	They're beholden to sponsors who will pull their advertising if they don't.
	And so they have to sensationalize stuff to get people to tune in.
	It has to be breaking news.
	It has to be life or death.
	It has to be kids dying.
	It has to be Trump and Russia instead of real news.
	Otherwise, they have no money, they have no jobs.
	Whereas because of Mug Club, we can just give them the straight information.
	If you like it, great.
	If you don't, sorry, you paid to be here.
	Strange computer, bring up that overlay here real quick.
	80% of Americans are going to be getting a tax break.
	Yes.
	Okay, just so you know, 80% of Americans are going to be getting a tax break.
	That's a lot.
	Most of them don't know this.
	This comes from TheAtlantic.com.
	So yeah, the cuts shrink over time, eventually reducing to basically where we are today.
	Which is not bad.
	It still is pretty bad.
	Well, I mean, relatively speaking, if you're saying if Trump's reelected, it probably goes on.
	Right.
	That's the thing.
	You only have so much.
	It's an uphill battle to get any tax cuts in with Democrats anyway.
	This is the only thing they would accept.
	Let me ask you this.
	Just put your critical thinking gap on before I get too technical.
	OK, they're trying to pass a tax bill where 80 percent of Americans receive tax cuts.
	OK, that's what's happening right now.
	Hold on a second.
	Genuine question to people out there.
	Who do you think is fighting the tax cuts?
	If the tax cuts were going to be longer than, say, to 2027, who do you think would be the sticking point for tax cuts for 80% of Americans?
	Do you think it would be Republicans or do you think it would be Democrats?
	The reason they shrink back down is because of what you have to do to get any kind of tax reform in through the Democrats.
	If Republicans had their way, none of you would be paying these rates.
	If Republicans had their way, you'd have a flat tax.
	If you could, if conservatives had their way, well, fair tax, no, I'm a flat tax guy.
	A fair, flat tax is what I mean.
	Well, fair tax is a different thing.
	I know it's a thing.
	I didn't mean to run to the thing.
	It's just, to me, people watch the internet are like, oh, it's good.
	Ask yourself, why would those tax breaks, and when we say break, what we mean is not taking half, Why would the 80% of Americans receiving tax breaks, not including all the benefits of employment, not including all the benefits of the corporate tax rate reduction, why would 80% of Americans who are receiving tax breaks see that reduced to 2027?
	You have to ask yourself, is it more likely that Republicans said, we don't want Americans to get tax breaks in 2027, or is it more likely that in order to appease the Democrats, They had to find some kind of a middle ground, which meant these tax breaks won't last forever, kind of like the Bush tax breaks.
	Who wants the tax breaks for 80% of Americans, Republicans or Democrats?
	That's it.
	That's the main question.
	If you answer Republicans, you shouldn't be—you're an idiot.
	You shouldn't be watching this stream.
	You should be there with Pam.
	Republicans want you to be able to keep and spend more of your own money.
	Do you have the overlay at the Fenn computer?
	We got it up already.
	Oh, we got it up?
	Yeah.
	80% of households will see some benefit in 2018.
	And you know, the 20% that want to complain about this, you're not paying a lot in taxes anyway.
	I get it.
	But everybody is getting some benefit out of this, right?
	It says 80% because there's got to be some groups that don't, right?
	But if you're not paying taxes anyway, you're probably not going to see a huge benefit out of this.
	But they did, what is it, double the child care tax exemption?
	They doubled the ability for you to write off or the standard deduction so you don't have to worry about itemizing?
	For everybody out there right now who is poor living in an apartment, you should be celebrating like it's Christmas.
	Because technically, it pretty much is.
	Right.
	But you get... That's huge!
	You have a deduction that goes from, what, $6,000 to $12,000 now?
	Right off the top?
	Well, and this is what it comes down to.
	Most Americans don't know they're getting a tax break.
	Right.
	It's because they listen to this.
	Statistical reality.
	80% of Americans are getting a tax break.
	Period.
	We're not even talking about corporate tax or unemployment.
	80% of Americans are getting a tax break.
	Period.
	The majority of Americans don't realize they're getting a tax break.
	80% don't realize it.
	I didn't know that Al Franken spoke yesterday!
	Because it said earlier!
	Because I've been watching CNN all day.
	Do you understand how today, like my brain is toxified.
	Yeah.
	I'm not joking.
	You're like behind a whole day now.
	I'm behind a whole news cycle today.
	The only reason I'm not is because of Sven, Reg, and Courtney who are sending me some texts going, hey, this just happened.
	Remains a mystery.
	Still a mystery.
	Remains a mystery.
	Five hours later.
	OK, Sven, get another overlay up here of this, the two illegal immigrants.
	That's in our document.
	So this, they're saying remains a mystery.
	Horrible that this man died.
	I feel awful for this man's fiance.
	Of course.
	Yeah.
	But guess what?
	If you're watching, OK, let's see if they say anything about the two illegal immigrant drug cartels.
	Let's see.
	Let's watch this.
	It's been a month since Angio Cho's fiancé, Border Patrol agent Rogelio Martinez, was killed on duty.
	A month wondering what happened.
	The whole thing is very confusing.
	You know, and just the fact that nobody's getting any answers just makes it even worse.
	On the night of November 18th, Martinez was working alone, checking culverts along the interstate near Van Horn, Texas, about 30 miles from the Mexican border.
	Whatever happened next left Martinez badly injured and unconscious.
	He never regained consciousness and later died in the hospital from head injuries.
	I still have the last I love you note he left that night he left to work.
	He said I love you.
	And I found it the following morning when I was going through my makeup.
	How did that make you feel?
	No mention yet.
	No mention yet of the suspects.
	None.
	Let's see if they do afterwards.
	Sven, you have the overlay for that?
	Okay.
	But no answers.
	A second agent, Stephen Michael Garland, was also found injured in the same area, but survived.
	The Border Patrol Union was quick to label it an attack.
	Texas Governor Greg Abbott called it murder, and on Twitter, the president used the incident to promote the southern border wall he's promised to build.
	But the local sheriff, Oscar Carrillo, who responded to the scene that night, says it did not look like an attack to him.
	These agents didn't get clipped by a truck.
	may have fallen eight to ten feet to the bottom of the culvert.
	He told Dallas Morning News it's even possible they were clipped by a passing tractor trailer.
	The union disagrees.
	These agents didn't get clipped by a truck.
	They didn't get clipped by a car.
	They were attacked.
	It's just plain to see that they were attacked.
	That was cut really fast.
	They were attacked by whom?
	There we go.
	Okay, good.
	They were attacked by whom?
	There we go.
	Okay, good.
	Fine.
	You had the opportunity to actually go out to that scene.
	What did that tell you?
	- Tried.
	- Might tie them to the scene.
	The FBI has since indicated it's no longer looking in that direction.
	- You had the opportunity to actually go out to that scene.
	What did that tell you? - I find it very hard that-- - Wow.
	- A fall could have caused all the damage that he had.
	And as far as him being, you know, sideswept, it couldn't have happened either because he was not off the freeway.
	He was actually on the side road.
	From the damages to his face, I mean, there's no way.
	There's no way.
	The one person who might have answers, Agent Garland, says he doesn't remember anything after arriving at work that day.
	Garland has so far not responded to interview requests, and Ochoa says he's also not reached out.
	At least now they're mentioning it.
	And I just figured, you know, eventually, you know... Maybe they saw the hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.
	Maybe they saw CNN livestream.
	They're changing it.
	Keep the hashtag going, guys.
	Keep the hashtag going, CrowderCNN livestream.
	This is unbelievable to me.
	To believe that he can't remember.
	Yeah.
	Anything.
	For its part, the Border Patrol Union says that Garland suffered severe head trauma, that he wants to remember what happened, wants to get it out in the open, and ultimately wants justice to be done.
	Scott McClain, CNN.
	So hold on a second.
	Sven Computer, let's bring up that overlay.
	Thank you so much.
	Oh, we have a call?
	We have another guest coming up.
	David Barton.
	Oh, David Barton!
	Is he on the line already?
	We have David Barton coming up.
	I don't really know what we'll be talking about with David Barton.
	Do we have anything specific on history?
	Because that guy has artifacts and all that kind of stuff.
	Oh yeah, that's cool.
	You really don't know how to put on a scotch.
	Your wife put this on me.
	You're dispelling... It's really disgusting.
	Your wife did it.
	Alright, we got a commercial.
	So before... Hey, can you move those firearms back before Aaron the Intern moved them away from him?
	I wanted them aimed at him.
	They were aimed at that chair very, very tactfully.
	I should pull the trigger, right?
	No, no, no, no.
	Put them back.
	I don't know what you mean.
	For crying out loud.
	I didn't see it.
	None of you have any sense of presentation.
	These guys are sponsors.
	Move your mug.
	Your mug doesn't... Oh, wait.
	Wasn't there... Did you just take this mug?
	No, it's been there the whole time.
	There's water in it.
	I know, but it's mine.
	It's been there the whole time.
	I didn't move anything when I put it there.
	Alright, there you go.
	It's terrible.
	It's like you're an old married couple.
	It is my mug.
	Everything looks good?
	All right, go ahead and sit down.
	We'll be ready for David Barton.
	I'm ready for David Barton.
	I'm just making sure I display...
	Everything looks good?
	...for our wonderful sponsors.
	Well, I'm going to put my mug there when I'm drinking it.
	Just put it there.
	You have a cup holder.
	Oh, okay.
	I didn't know.
	It might be a little small, but it'll work.
	It doesn't, it doesn't fit.
	It's gonna spill so bad.
	It's gonna, it just, I can't do it.
	I'm just, look at this, the beautiful Walters.
	We gotta have the beautiful Walters.
	Aww, look at that.
	Our sponsor.
	Yeah.
	For crying out loud.
	Yeah, good job.
	Who is Sven Computer texting?
	Good job.
	Who are you texting?
	You texting your buddy there, Sven Computer?
	You have no buddies.
	He doesn't have anybody, alright.
	This is your buddy!
	We are your buddy!
	I'll be back.
	We have David Barton on the line?
	We got him.
	All right.
	We have Matt.
	You're leaving?
	I'll be back.
	We have master historian and artifact collector extraordinaire, Mr. David Barton.
	Mr. Barton, can you hear me, sir?
	I sure can.
	I'm glad to have you.
	David, my brain is mush.
	Are you aware of what's going on today?
	No.
	Okay, I guess Darren has... I hope Darren has filled... I've been watching... We're watching CNN for 16 hours straight today.
	The entire original CNN clock.
	So the reason we're doing this is because I was waterboarded last year and we said, what's worse than waterboarding?
	So we've been trending here today.
	Hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.
	Hopefully you tweet it out to keep it going.
	We're a thorn in their... For 16 hours and we are what?
	12?
	Are we... We are 7 and 12, I think.
	7 hours and 12 minutes in.
	Maybe halfway.
	Seven hours and 12 minutes.
	Not even halfway.
	So we've been watching it all day.
	Let me give you a brief hit list, David.
	Brief hit list of CNN.
	They've been talking about Russia hysteria.
	Not mentioning that Trump's saying Trump's going to fire Mueller.
	He already said no.
	Adam Schiff was talking about the Mueller probe.
	Nine months, no evidence.
	No mention at all of Uranium One.
	That's been the number one trend all day.
	They say that Republicans want to cut the chip program, leaving nine million, and I quote, tiny Tims without insurance.
	No mention of the Melbourne attacker, Afghani Saeed Nayori.
	They just said some random guy ran a truck into people.
	For the longest time until just now, they didn't acknowledge the two illegal immigrant drug dealers who were suspects with the man killed at the border patrol.
	And they have never mentioned the 1995 Israel vote to recognize, of course, Jerusalem as the official capital, where they would put the embassy and every president thereafter.
	And of course, now they're talking about a government shutdown with no recognition of the Republicans' promise to fund short-term funding to January 19th.
	They're just saying the Republicans want to shut down the government.
	So this is all just today.
	We've been just doing this because the only way, David, to actually show people is to sit down and watch this for their entire original clock to show all the lies by omission.
	And I think a big one is Israel that we're talking about today.
	I know you're a historian.
	Tell people who don't know, you know, first off, let's do this.
	Tell them about the 1995 vote that passed overwhelmingly in the Senate and House.
	And for how long Jerusalem has been recognized as the capital of Israel.
	They've been acting like this is a new thing.
	Yeah, well, Jerusalem has been recognized the capital of Israel for 3,500 years.
	It's just that America got around to acknowledging that in 1995, and that is what Congress passed.
	That was under Bill Clinton, said, yep, Israel, Jerusalem is the capital of Israel.
	Everybody else in the world knows that.
	And so what happens is, every six months since, and they put a little clause in there that says, every six months the President can, for security reasons, say, well, we're not going to move our embassy there.
	And we've been doing that every six months since 1995.
	And finally Trump said, that hadn't worked out too well.
	That's supposed to bring peace, and us not moving our embassy there is supposed to make the Palestinians really happy.
	That hasn't happened, so let's try something different.
	So, you know, no real change except we've done what the law required us to do back in 1995.
	It is a huge deal.
	Let me ask you, why haven't presidents kept their word on that?
	Why haven't they actually just recognized it?
	Two answers.
	State Department and U.S.
	military.
	State Department says, no, no, no, don't do that.
	That's a really bad deal.
	And by the way, the State Department kind of think they are their own government.
	They don't really think themselves a part of the American government.
	If you remember when Ronald Reagan said, tear down this wall, the State Department sent out this notice that he doesn't speak for us.
	He speaks for himself as President of the United States.
	So State Department is its own little renegade thing over there, and they are not friends of Israel.
	They are not very pro-Israel at all.
	And then they tell the military guys, you know, if this happens, there's going to be a massive war over there.
	We're going to get sucked into this war.
	We don't want to do this.
	So what happens is the military guys repeat what the State Department has told them, and that's what it's been for nearly 20 years now, the State Department pulling the strings on this.
	Are you aware of the vote today in the UN?
	What's transpired?
	Now, they've been saying breaking news all day, 128 to 9.
	I don't know what the rule is.
	Maybe you can tell us historically.
	It seems to me like six hours later, it's no longer breaking news.
	And they keep running the same speeches as though they're live.
	I don't know if you know this, David.
	This is what they do on CNN.
	If you were to tune in right now, you would think the Al Franken resignation speech is live.
	You would think the Nikki Haley speech is live because it says breaking and it shows them speaking.
	It keeps saying breaking Trump-Russia probe, breaking 128 nations vote to condemn the United States on Israel.
	It is remarkable to me.
	Let me ask you this, and then I want to get into the history kind of of Christmas in the United States.
	I know you want to talk about that.
	Historically, do you think that journalism has always been this bad in the United States, and we just are now able to see it with social media?
	Or do you think there was actually a golden era where this isn't the kind of stuff that they did in mainstream media?
	No, there's always been some bias there.
	I mean, Founding Fathers started the Committee of Correspondence because they said there's a British bias in the news.
	And there was.
	So we started our own alternative news media back then.
	It was horseback.
	It's kind of like the social media of the day, if you would.
	So there's been bias, but there's always been a level of integrity where that you didn't just flat out lie about things.
	Right.
	Fake news.
	I mean, fake news has happened.
	I've got some some news that was running back in 1777, where the New York newspapers were faking letters from George Washington, running them in the newspaper to make people think bad about George Washington.
	Was this Dan Rather the first?
	That's right.
	So it goes on.
	But by the time you get to the 1830s, it's really, really interesting in the sense that they would report news out of the Capitol.
	The Washington Globe was the newspaper, kind of like the Washington Post.
	And they would give you the news of both parties, what they were doing.
	And they would say, oh, by the way, here's our thought.
	And then they would jump all over policy and say, now that's our opinion.
	Now we're coming back to news.
	So they were really good about not putting their opinion into the news.
	That's something we don't do anymore.
	Today, our opinion is Breaking news!
	You know, if CNN doesn't run this stuff over and over, their 12 viewers aren't going to see all this stuff.
	Oh, hey, one second.
	One second, David Barton.
	Look, breaking news.
	U.N. votes 128 to 9 to condemn Trump's Jerusalem decision.
	Again, I don't know if you can see if you can see program.
	It says breaking news right now.
	I would just they're beyond mockery.
	It says breaking news.
	And by the way, do we need to point out that it's already been vetoed in Security Council?
	This is a worthless vote.
	It has absolutely no meaning.
	And Israel has been condemned More than any other nation in the world.
	And we're talking Iran, we're talking Cuba, we're talking Venezuela.
	Israel has had more resolutions condemning them than any other nation in the world.
	North Korea, you name it.
	So the UN, this is really a trumped up thing, and every week they will have resolutions to condemn something in Israel.
	That's just a standard weekly stuff.
	You'll never hear that on CNN either.
	No, of course you won't, which doesn't surprise me.
	Let me ask you, so I know you wanted to talk about that we don't have a ton of time here, but the history of Christmas here.
	It's a Christmas livestream.
	Christmas and the United States.
	A lot of people misconstrued with this one.
	I got a lot of flack for saying Kwanzaa wasn't real.
	But you tell us, what's the kind of marriage of the history of the United States and Christmas there?
	Well, Christmas in New England just wasn't celebrated until 1870 in New England, Massachusetts area.
	If you went to school and celebrated Christmas, you were expelled out of school.
	It was illegal to celebrate Christmas in New England until after the Civil War.
	So 1870 becomes a federal holiday.
	Now, everybody was still very much pro-Jesus Christ.
	That wasn't the issue.
	The issue was, we don't make a big celebration festival out of it, because that's what they do in Europe, and we ain't Europe, and we're not doing that stuff.
	OK.
	Now, in the South, they did because in the South, you had more of the high church.
	George Washington celebrated Christmas every year with a fox hunt and et cetera.
	Andrew Jackson out of the South, he did the same thing.
	But your northern presidents and northern areas, they didn't do it.
	What's kind of fun is where history is, where the modern history starts 1890, 1890 or 1890.
	1889 is the first Christmas tree in the White House.
	That's under Benjamin Harrison.
	1895 is the first Christmas lights in the White House, under the Clevelands.
	By the time you get to 1923... What's the reason for the change there?
	Was there a conscious decision?
	What's the reason for the change?
	Was it cultural?
	Was it just an individual decision?
	Well, back in the beginning, so much of what went on in America was guys fleeing religious persecution of Europe.
	And the church that was persecuting them, Europe, was really big on huge Christmas celebrations, and they wanted none of that.
	Now, they believe the birth of Christ is really important, but they didn't want that Austen-ish stuff.
	But by the time you get to the end of the Civil War, we're not worried about Europe anymore.
	And so that's where it starts becoming a holiday.
	Actually, there's some fun stuff I kind of pulled out.
	Eisenhower is obviously, you know, D-Day kind of stuff.
	Right.
	He's the first guy to get Hallmark Christmas cards to do Christmas cards for the White House.
	He had 38 different Christmas cards done in the White House, but Eisenhower actually painted the covers on the Christmas cards.
	These are a couple of Eisenhower's Christmas cards.
	He was a noted author, a noted artist.
	And so he painted covers on the Christmas cards.
	Some of them, I think, would be a little different for us.
	That's a Christmas card from the White House.
	That's a picture of George Washington, but it's painted by President Eisenhower.
	So that's a White House Christmas card, a little bigger than what we have.
	By the way, contrast that with this.
	This is a Christmas card from the Civil War.
	This one right here.
	That tiny thing is a business card, but that's a Civil War Christmas card.
	It actually has the Lord's Prayer on it.
	That was a Christmas card.
	Can I ask you something?
	Did Hallmark exist before those Christmas cards that you just showed?
	Was Hallmark a card business before Christmas cards?
	Yes.
	And what did they do?
	What kind of cards did they do?
	Well, they did cards, but they just didn't do it for the White House.
	And so what Eisenhower did was make a partnership for them to do it with the White House, and so they started doing White House.
	Now, on the other side, consider this.
	Jimmy Carter, when he gets in, he gives 70,000 Christmas cards, then it goes to 100,000 next Christmas, then it goes to 105,000 Christmas cards he gave out.
	He gave out so many Christmas cards, Carter actually created a commission to study how many Christmas cards should be given out.
	That's an easy thing.
	How much did that commission cost?
	Exactly!
	Something you're doing yourself.
	You're sending the Christmas cards.
	This is a really famous Christmas card.
	This is the first Christmas card to have the nativity scene out of the inside of the White House.
	It's signed on the inside with John Kennedy and with Jackie Kennedy.
	There were only 30 of these signed because while they were signing them, they left to go to Dallas.
	He was assassinated, never signed the rest.
	So this one never got mailed.
	But that's a Christmas card that really is a famous Christmas card.
	Way to be a downer on a Christmas live stream there, David.
	Exactly right.
	You also have this Christmas card.
	This is the first Christmas card to have a Bible verse in it.
	This is what came out after 9-11.
	George and Laura Bush did this Christmas card in 2009.
	So there's a lot of fun stuff here.
	Here's a Christmas card actually from outer space.
	Apollo 8 was the first Apollo mission to the moon, and on Christmas Eve they were orbiting the moon, and Frank Borman, this is actually the picture they took of Christmas Eve, the Earth rising over the moon, and then Frank Borman prayed a prayer for all of America there on Christmas Eve night, and they read the Genesis story.
	That's a Christmas card from the moon.
	Lots of fun Christmas stuff in American history.
	There is a lot of fun Christmas stuff in American history.
	What about the Kwanzaa?
	Do you have any Kwanzaa artifacts?
	Do you have any of the electrical cords that were used to beat the black Marxists from Ron Everett?
	I'm sure you're aware of this.
	Most people don't know anything about Kwanzaa.
	Ron Everett was actually charged with beating women, soldering irons.
	He was basically a Marxist liberation theologist.
	Horrible person.
	Less than 4%, less than 1% of African Americans celebrate it.
	It's just interesting to me because we act as though all the holidays have to be as legitimate as all the other holidays.
	Well, you'll love this.
	I'm in Texas, conservative state, right?
	Right.
	So what happened last time we did our history standards in America?
	The teachers, 240 teachers write the standards.
	They recommended we take Christmas out and put Kwanzaa in.
	Why?
	What was their justification?
	Well, we have to be equal, because everything is equal.
	Now, as you point out, Kwanzaa doesn't get celebrated, Christmas does, but it's just the goofiness of what goes on in textbooks now.
	Oh, gosh.
	OK, well, listen, we have to—hold on a second.
	What?
	GOP tax cuts.
	Oh, no, more breaking news soon on the Israel deal.
	Really quickly.
	David, for people who don't know, I've talked about this.
	Give people, just like, if we can just take two minutes, the kind of the history of modern Israel.
	Why are the Jews in there in that tiny plot of land, surrounded by people who want to kill them, and like you said, why have they had more sanctions put against them than, say, North Korea or even actual Islamic caliphates?
	Yeah, there's about 2 billion people who want to see the 13 million Jews exterminated.
	So if you keep odds, you're outnumbered 189 to 1.
	What happened was Israel had been in that land, and you go all the way back to 2,000 years ago when Rome destroyed it and dispersed it, and you go back to the time of the founding fathers.
	The founding fathers, John Adams, John Quincy Adams, others, wanted to see Israel reestablished as a nation back in the late 1700s, early 1800s.
	So that's been going all along.
	Finally, after World War I, Great Britain gets control.
	They say, we're giving the Holy Land back to the Jews.
	That was the Balfour Declaration.
	You get to World War II, they gave half the land away to the Jordanians, Transjordan, etc.
	So Israel is a really, really small place compared to what it had been and what it was intended to be after World War I.
	And so right now what they're doing is they're trying to make it even smaller.
	It is the size of New Jersey with the population of Indiana.
	So it is not a big place at all.
	And when Obama and other presidents talk about going back to the 67 borders, that means seven miles wide.
	Explain to people who don't know, why is 67 so pivotal?
	People who aren't aware of that seven-day war of, right, three countries who said, let's wipe Israel off the face of the map.
	They gained land in a defensive maneuver, right?
	That's right.
	They gained land by defending themselves.
	By defending themselves, and they went and drove the attackers out of the lands where they were being attacked.
	And actually, that was part of what was supposed to be Israel's land back under the Balfour Declaration, the way it was divided up at World War I. So, what happened was, when World War II started, that land was supposed to belong to Israel.
	Excuse me.
	After World War II, it was given to Israel, but nobody was going to go in and defend Israel, and the British... Hold on, pause really quickly, because this is pivotal.
	This is pivotal for people who don't know.
	Who gave it to Israel?
	It wasn't just a bunch of Jews.
	Who voted to make that land Israel's?
	David Barton.
	The United Nations voted to do that.
	There you go!
	Thank you.
	Most people have no idea.
	Continue.
	But that's just a tidbit that I think CNN seems to miss.
	Go ahead.
	Yeah, 1948 the U.N.
	gave it to Israel, and at that time the U.N.
	nor anybody else is going to defend their mandate to give it to Israel.
	And at that time, in 1948, the British had made it illegal for Jews to own guns.
	So now Israel has to go in and defend themselves.
	They don't have guns.
	It's illegal to own guns.
	Right.
	And here come these other people after them.
	So even though they were given the land, what happened was the Jordanians and others came in and took a lot of the land.
	And Israel let them keep that, and they built their own military and air force, and in 67, those three nations came after to get everything else that was there, and Israel just crushed them in that six-day war.
	And they ended up keeping some of the land that they had been originally given, that the others had taken from them, and so they still are much smaller than what the mandate was in 1948.
	But you're right, the UN gave it to them, and now the UN condemns them for what the UN gave to them, so it's a crazy thing.
	It really is absolutely mind-boggling to me for anyone who understands the history of modern Israel.
	I mean, imagine walking home tonight.
	Imagine walking home and three muggers decide, hey, we're going to beat this guy to death.
	And you just so happen to be able to defend yourself.
	And when you defend yourself, you take away their guns and you run away.
	And then people want to arrest you for taking their guns away from them so that they couldn't hurt you again.
	I think that's a pretty fair analogy.
	I think liberals want to do that every day in America.
	Yeah, that's what happens every day in America.
	That's kind of the analogy I use.
	They fought back, and they fought back effectively, and now we're talking about just reckoning.
	Let me ask you this really quickly.
	Has Jerusalem ever been a capital of any other country?
	No, it's like saying, well, it's an internet.
	And see what happened, the UN said we want it to be an international city.
	Okay, New York's an international city, but it's still part of the United States.
	It doesn't belong to other nations.
	Miami's an international city.
	Dallas is an international city.
	So they say, oh, it's an international city.
	Israel can't own that.
	It's been their capital 3,500 years.
	Give me a break.
	That's been the only capital they've had for 3,500 years.
	Was it the capital ever of Palestine?
	You know, Palestine didn't exist.
	Palestine is what the Romans named the land in honor of the Philistines who hated the Jews.
	And so since the Romans hated the Jews, they said, let's name it after the Jews' greatest enemy, the Philistines.
	By the way, the Palestinians are not the Philistines.
	The Palestinians were all white guys.
	They weren't Arabs.
	And they left by the fourth century A.D.
	Right.
	So the Palestinians that are in there today have no ancient claim on the land at all.
	No.
	It's like renaming Iran the Queer Killer Stein or something.
	Yeah.
	Let's just name it after people who wanted to kill them.
	Okay.
	Was it ever the capital of, because I'm trying to say, you know, there were times obviously when the Jews didn't have control over Jerusalem and now they act as though it's this really, it's this holy site and it's just steeped in Muslim history.
	Was it ever the capital of obviously the biggest Muslim empire, the Ottoman Empire?
	When they had control, was Jerusalem their capital?
	It was not their capital.
	No, it was Constantinople.
	Who else do we have?
	I think we have so many caliphates.
	Put it this way.
	Never been a capital of any Islamic country, nation, caliphate, ever.
	Do I have that right?
	You have that right, and it also doesn't appear in the Quran.
	Only the deed.
	Yeah, only Hadith when Muhammad, they claim he ascended to heaven, which was, I mean, I don't buy it, but you know, listen, that's not why you're here.
	He never came to Jerusalem, he never was there at all.
	No, he never set foot in Jerusalem.
	It's mentioned, what, 600-something times?
	400-something times by name, right, in the Old Testament, and another 200-plus times, if I'm not mistaken, with the term, obviously, the term Zion, which they're basically interchangeable.
	So over 600 times, Jerusalem is mentioned specifically in the Torah, right?
	Never in the Quran.
	That's right.
	It's not there.
	All right.
	Well, thank you, Mr. Barton.
	Interesting history on American History and Christmas.
	I didn't know all of that with the Christmas cards.
	I'm not surprised with the Jimmy Carter stuff.
	Mr. Barton, we do have to get going.
	Where's the best place for people to find you?
	Wallbuilders.com.
	Wallbuilders.com, and pretty soon we're going to come out there.
	We'll do a tour, right?
	And we can tape a show from there.
	You guys have tens of millions.
	It's like they have the Hope Diamond.
	It's a bunch of Civil War suits and cards and letters.
	Thank you so much, David Barton.
	You're a brilliant man.
	We appreciate you educating us.
	We must go.
	Oh, he's nice.
	Look, we got those little color bars going on there.
	Oh, David Barton, what a nice man.
	Gerald Love, where were you for a long time?
	I was prepping next stuff, next segments and such.
	When are we going to start?
	I know we have some games and things like that planned.
	We do.
	We have a surprise coming in about 15, 20 minutes.
	Okay.
	And then we have some games coming soon after that, so there's going to be some good things and some presents coming.
	Some presents?
	Some presents.
	Yeah, I got a little something special.
	Sven Computer, what is it you were saying?
	Sven Computer was texting me something.
	Something about... Because I saw you texting on your phone, and I said, don't text on your phone!
	Well, beep beep, I only texted on my phone to answer questions from fans, because I'm too stupid, because I'm a very bad computer, beep beep, so I don't know how to set up both accounts on this MacBook and Safari, so I can just switch like I could on the phone, but now I just opened the second browser to do it.
	So you're good now?
	Yeah.
	So you just, so in other words, instead of having to use an ancient phone, you just open a new browser?
	Exactly.
	You are a terrible computer.
	That was three minutes of my life I'll never get back.
	We could have spent that on CNN.
	I have no idea.
	Well, there's nothing on CNN.
	It's a commercial right now.
	What block are we in for the shows, by the way?
	What was that?
	We're at the three, we're almost at four o'clock block, right?
	Yeah.
	So, uh, we're almost at 3 o'clock.
	Jake Tapper's.
	Jake Tapper's coming up.
	Oh, Jake Tapper's coming up in a little bit.
	Alright, you know what?
	Can we do me a favor?
	I have to go to the restroom really quickly because I've been drinking caffeine and I probably need to get some more caffeine.
	Do we have some commercials here that we can run?
	What do we have?
	Do we have a response?
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	Um, sorry, pardon me, pardon the- it is- this is really bad.
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	It's awful if you catch 30 seconds in the airport.
	It's just awful.
	By the way, I just didn't have time for coffee, so I got one of these energy pack things.
	Those are pretty good.
	They're not bad.
	It's a Celsius stuff.
	We need an energy-packed sponsor.
	Anyway, we are going to have... Who else do we have on the schedule here?
	Coming up soon, we have Joyvilla, Matt Iseman, Kevin Sorbo, Clint Howard, Ben Shapiro, Andrew Klaven, Dean Cain...
	Wow!
	That's a yummy list.
	There's a yummy, yummy list, especially Dean Cain.
	Let's split the difference with these lights here, Sound Guy Edward, because I know we brightened up those kind of... They were dimmer before, and then I was stupid, and let's just put them in between the two, because it hurts my... The light, dude!
	It hurts my eyes!
	You try watching CNN for 16 hours.
	We're here.
	You wouldn't do it.
	We're all here.
	That's why we're here.
	Come prime time, this is going to get pretty, like I said, pretty wild and wooly.
	Right now, Pence lobs, defends Trump time and time again.
	How is this a news issue?
	The vice president defends and praises the president.
	Just in.
	No, this is not new.
	This is not new.
	Bannon said this a long time ago.
	Sun Computer, someone bring this up.
	I've read this from Bannon many, many times.
	He was not a fan of George W. Bush.
	Someone bring this up here.
	Bush, Bannon, I'm searching this.
	It amazes me that they're saying this is just in.
	So here's one thing.
	You can say Bannon doesn't like Bush 43.
	What you can't say is that it's just in.
	Just in.
	It's like you can tell me, hey, here's some, if you have four-year-old chocolate chip cookies.
	You can say, hey, I got some cookies.
	Fine.
	What you can't say is, I have freshly baked cookies.
	It's as if they have three public graphics.
	They have Breaking News, Justin, and Developing.
	And they just kind of roll the dice which one comes up for each story.
	Like, ah, we haven't used Justin in a little while.
	I think Sven said he found one.
	Alright, let's get Sven.
	Let us know when you have that overlay ready.
	Alright, he has it ready.
	Are you ready?
	I think it's just this.
	It's just like a Slade article.
	Okay, it's a Slade article.
	Sven said that George W. Bush's presidency was the most... Hold on, can we hear Sven?
	Can we hear Sven?
	Yeah, now we can hear him.
	Can you hear him, Jared?
	Yes.
	Okay, Sven Computer, what is the truth?
	I know that I've heard this quote from Bannon before, that it's not just in, as CNN is saying.
	Well, he said that George W. Bush's presidency was the most destructive in history.
	Yeah, well right now it says just in.
	So go to the screen, Matt Gage here.
	It says just in.
	Report Bannon calls Bush 14 residency most destructive.
	Just in.
	There has not been a more destructive presidency than George Bush's.
	This is in October?
	Yes.
	From Bannon?
	Yes.
	Alright Sven, you know what that means.
	Add that to the BS list.
	Let's add this to the BS list.
	Let's add this to the CNBS list.
	We're gonna go back over it at the end of the show.
	I would say just in, when it's from October, it would count.
	No?
	Can we submit this list to Santa as just like a hit list?
	A hit list.
	When we're done with all this, say, hey, Santa.
	You asking Chris Kringle to commit an act of domestic terrorism against CNN?
	Yes.
	Soon, House to vote to keep government running.
	I feel like he'd get off.
	Soon, House to vote to keep government running.
	And another commercial break.
	I've been doing this for 16 hours.
	I took a 20 minute break for lunch and three pee breaks.
	They've just taken, I just came back from my urination break and it's a constant commercial.
	And it's Liberty Mutual.
	Always with the Liberty Mutual.
	And I keep, who's this broad yawning?
	I see this commercial all the time on here.
	Tyler PM.
	Tyler PM, ah.
	There you go.
	Oh my gosh.
	We could use some of that right now.
	Well, here's the thing.
	Right now I'm still trying to stay caffeinated and alert.
	When we switch to beer, this is gonna be a free-for-all.
	This is gonna go downhill so fast.
	I really hope you guys understand.
	Oh wait, hold on one second.
	I do have something.
	There's an old, there's a member, okay?
	Jim Jackson, who just joined Mug Club today.
	He's 70 years old and got our Twitter account to tweet me in hopes of getting mentioned.
	Jim Jackson.
	Jim, if you're watching, I can't find your Twitter right now while I'm live on air, but I did get this message from CRTV Customer Service.
	Thank you so much for joining Mug Club.
	We appreciate it.
	Hey, Jim Jackson.
	Jim Jackson.
	Jim Jackson.
	Seventy-year-old Jim Jackson.
	Every time Jim Jackson joins Mug Club, an army of Christian angels maul Muhammad in hell from heaven.
	They just do it with arrows because they wouldn't, they don't get their hands dirty.
	They don't have passports.
	Muhammad's in hell, have you heard?
	That's kind of the general consensus.
	It hasn't been on breaking news.
	It hasn't been on breaking news.
	It's developing.
	It's developing, Kyra.
	This is going to get really interesting when we're just passed out from all the alcohol and exhaustion.
	Spirit, how can we bear it?
	I just can't.
	I'm sitting there.
	This is a good example of what happens with the morning pitch on this show.
	So you see the show every night.
	Those who are Mug Club members, livewithcrowder.com slash mug club.
	It's a nightly show.
	So on YouTube, we're just watching clips, right?
	And you see the full show Thursday.
	But there's a full show every single day.
	So we do the same pitch every single day, whether it's Monday or Thursday, OK?
	And I go in and I go, I was watching CNN this morning and it said just in, Steve Bannon says George W. Bush was the most destructive presidency in history.
	Or Bush 43, most destructive presidency in history.
	And I'll say, I know that's not true because I read that months ago.
	Please, one of you get an overlay for that.
	And then either Sven or Reg, who's brilliant and scary, gets an overlay for it.
	Like Aladdin.
	When they were saying Aladdin was cultural appropriation, I went into red.
	I said, I said, I just cultural appropriation.
	I know that the original Aladdin was a story of like a like a Chinese shoesmith or tailor or something.
	It's like when your mom shares Numa Numa on Facebook, you're like, like it's brand new.
	Right.
	Mom, mom, this is this is not new.
	This is I've seen it's great video.
	That guy's since killed himself.
	He's dead.
	Mom, he's dead.
	So dead.
	He died of a coronary years ago.
	But the point is, that's the daily pitch, right?
	I think I know, and even Reg went to me, he went back, he goes, how do you, how did you remember that Aladdin was a Chinese tailor?
	I'm like, I don't know.
	I've been, this is all I've done my whole life is be filled with rage at lies.
	It's crazy to me too, is it's, Now, we know the production obviously takes some time, but they are news, so you'd figure they had that part figured out.
	We figure out news faster on Twitter and are more on top of things than they are running the same rehearsed stuff over and over and over again.
	Oh, a new story.
	I told you, this is on the front page earlier.
	Breaking.
	No, it's not.
	Oh!
	5 out of 10.
	Oh, Brooke Baldwin shoots at very specific angles, which now makes sense.
	I hate to say it.
	I hate to say it.
	But she's not the Brooke Waldwin she presents herself to be.
	Ad hominem, you bet your ass it's ad hominem because Mug Club.
	Because no sponsor can drop us and Walther won't because they have balls.
	Right?
	Big balls.
	Big, brassy Walther balls.
	Half German because they're still made here.
	That's true.
	That's true.
	So this is right now.
	Now we're moved on to talking about engagement.
	Listen, if it seems like, why are you doing this?
	Why are you talking about Pointless?
	The whole idea here is, it's actually an exercise in psychology.
	Have you ever gone to a psychologist or a therapist?
	No.
	Well, they teach you something called mirroring, particularly in relationships.
	And you don't want to mirror if someone's really upset or angry, right?
	Obviously, you don't just want to scream back.
	But if someone is intense or someone is happy or someone is very clearly displaying an emotion.
	I learned about this in Mindhunter.
	He said, match his body language.
	OK, so mirror.
	Yeah.
	So what we're doing is we're mirroring CNN to a degree today.
	How stupid is CNN?
	This stupid.
	Coffee beans in my sternum stupid.
	Buttons, not snaps.
	Yeah, I know.
	These are snaps.
	These are buttons?
	These are buttons.
	By the way, Crystal Heath is watching.
	She said you look funny, but they're not footie pajamas.
	They're not.
	I got it shafted.
	I gotta bring my own.
	We have to get everyone custom footies.
	Footies not included.
	I'm gonna, like, I remember everyone gave, uh, gave, uh, Pajama Boy a bunch of flack for that, you know, Obama commercial talking about Obamacare, but I'm not gonna lie.
	Which one's Pajama Boy?
	You don't know Pajama Boy?
	Pajama Boy was a famous meme.
	It was a grown-ass man with a mug of hot cocoa.
	People say I look like him, right?
	That guy with the glasses?
	Yeah, but you don't.
	He looks more like the guy from Big Bang who was Rust when he was a kid.
	I hate that show.
	It's the worst show that's ever existed.
	The point is, I disliked him because he wanted to talk about Obamacare over hot cocoa.
	Not because of the pajamas.
	I think that was a missed opportunity from conservatives.
	What's wrong with pajamas?
	What's wrong with footie pajamas?
	You could try shot 6 over there too.
	Aaron's got the hand cam.
	Oh, Aaron the intern has the hand cam.
	He's out of his pink bunny nightmare costume.
	Look at that.
	Look at this.
	Oh, he can zoom too.
	Oh no, it's Jake Tapper!
	Can someone bring up when Jake Tapper specifically went after me?
	Can someone bring this up?
	Let me bring this up.
	Let me find it.
	I want to say that was, like, six months ago.
	What's this?
	I see a door opening.
	The studio door is opening.
	Is that Gerald coming back?
	But Jake Tapper got really mad.
	I don't remember what it was, but I remember he was wrong.
	And I remember I really kind of thought I respected Jake Tapper before the CNN thing.
	People said, well, he generally shoots it straight, straight down the middle.
	And he doesn't now.
	We all know that that's completely untrue with Jake Tapper.
	I don't remember what it was, though.
	He said something, and he was quoting somebody.
	And we were very specific in saying that he was quoting somebody, but he still was grilling a guy.
	It was something that was unfair and was biased.
	I don't remember exactly what it was.
	I'll have to find it.
	I'm sure Courtney can find it for me.
	Um... I need to find it.
	It was Ladder with Crowd or something.
	What are you looking at?
	Anyway, someone can find it.
	I'm sure Sven, someone can find it here.
	Uh, no.
	Shotgun might be useful now.
	This could be a good thing.
	Okay.
	CNN poll.
	47% approve Mueller's handling of Russia probe.
	I guess that's kind of breaking news.
	It's a CNN poll, by the way.
	So here's what happened.
	Like, man.
	Hashtag CrowderCNN livestream is really carving us up.
	We're just recycling the same stories, acting as though it's new.
	Let's get- Quick!
	Update the Russian investigation branding!
	Quick!
	Let's get Fat Bela Lugosi on it.
	Let's get Fat Bela Lugosi with Harry Potter glasses.
	Ad Hominem, you bet your ass we're marrying CNN.
	So now, they're breaking news with a new poll.
	Okay?
	Is it Pew Research?
	No.
	Is it Rasmussen?
	No.
	Is it AP?
	No.
	It's a new CNN poll!
	What happens is there's nothing in the news, so they call up a few people who still have landlines.
	They threw up a Twitter poll.
	Do you like Mueller's approach after we've been reporting all day about how awesome he is and Donald Trump might fire him?
	Target only fans.
	Target people who like Wolf Blitzer's Facebook page.
	Well, that really narrows it down.
	I think there's 4,000 people.
	Is that enough of a sample size?
	Let me call Monmouth.
	Yeah, but it's enough of a sample size.
	His mom created that many Facebook pages?
	I have no idea.
	His mom created that many accounts.
	Oh, jeez!
	Oh, careful!
	Oh, no!
	Oh, no!
	It appears that there was a Dickens singer who just slammed into our arcade machine.
	This is news to me.
	I don't know what's happening here.
	Hello!
	Hello, who are you?
	Good King Wenceslaw stood out on the Feast of Stephen, where the snow lay round about, deep and crisp and even, brightly shone the moon that night.
	Though the frost was cruel, When a poor man came in sight, Gathering winter fuel.
	Hither, page, and stand by me!
	If thou know'st it telling, Yonder peasant, who is he?
	Where and what his dwelling?
	Sire, he lives a goodly hence Underneath the mountain, Right against the forest fence, By St.
	Agnes' fountain.
	Bring me flesh and bring me wine, bring me pine logs hither.
	Thou and I will see him dine when we bear them thither.
	Page and Moloch, forth they went, forth they went together.
	Bravo!
	Wild winds, wild moment.
	Wild moment, the weather.
	Bravo!
	Woo!
	Oh, I keep going?
	I don't want to interrupt you.
	Is that okay?
	No, you're the weather.
	How are you?
	I am doing well.
	Now, this is... I was not aware of... So, how do I introduce myself to you?
	I am Stephen.
	Nice to meet you, Stephen.
	And we're the carolers!
	You are the carolers.
	Yes, we are.
	Okay.
	And do you do this every year?
	Yes, we do.
	Is this the only thing you do every year?
	Do you sing full-time when not doing the caroling?
	No, also professional opera singers and, you know, sing around.
	Okay, well that explains it.
	When Nat Geager and I have to do a parody, he's terrible and so am I. And one of us is like, we need to get a good singer to do this.
	Let's get their card.
	Jared.
	Do they have more songs?
	I don't want to interrupt.
	Continue if you can.
	Let's not do Carol of the Bells.
	Okay, which one?
	Okay.
	Oh Holy Night.
	You don't like Carol of the Bells?
	Okay, I like Oh Holy Night.
	Well we can, it's just that, that's okay.
	It's hard?
	No, it's, no.
	No, missing a part.
	What's your favorite Carol?
	What is my favorite Carol?
	That's a good question.
	Well it's funny because we're talking about how we like Carol of the Bells because of the Home Alone thing, but I will say Oh Holy Night and I also really like Oh Come All Ye Faithful.
	Those are probably my favorites.
	So Oh Holy Night, Oh Come All Ye Faithful, I like them.
	And I bet you got a great voice for it.
	They should have had you do Bing Crosby in The White Christmas.
	Did you see the play this year?
	Oh yeah, I love it, love it.
	You would have been better though because you're a bass.
	The guy was like soprano almost.
	But I have a piece for radio.
	Oh, come on now.
	I have a face for radio, it hasn't stopped me, nor any of these schlubs.
	Look at him, he's got a computer for a head.
	Alright, I won't interrupt you.
	Thank you so much, this is a nice break for me.
	Thank you, guys.
	This was a pleasant surprise.
	O come, O ye faithful, joyful and triumphant.
	O come ye, O come ye to Bethlehem.
	Come and behold him, born the King of angels.
	O come, let us adore him.
	Christ the Lord.
	Sing, vials of angels.
	Sing in exultation.
	Sing, all ye citizens of heaven above.
	Glory to God in the highest.
	O come, let us adore him.
	Oh, come let us adore him.
	Oh, come let us adore him.
	Christ the Lord.
	Very nice.
	Very nice.
	Thank you.
	Thank you.
	Fantastic.
	And you Daniel Day-Lewis-ed it.
	You stayed in character.
	Really quickly, I have to use it as a plug.
	If you guys want to see more Carol... See, these, they don't come cheap, because this is actually what they do for... You earn a living doing this, right?
	And we earn a living hiring people like this who earn a living.
	So, lionwealthcreditor.com slash MugClub.
	Thank you so much.
	That was very... Now, who put this together?
	I'm the leader, and this group is called Collins Classic Carolers, and they've been singing since 1985 together.
	Not the same people, but... Well, I mean, who put together the surprise?
	I had no idea you were coming.
	Well, we were.
	Oh, Darren!
	Darren and Hilaria.
	Darren and Hilaria.
	Very nice!
	This is fantastic.
	Now, how long do we have them here for?
	Do we just keep...
	I think one more number?
	One more number.
	Okay, hold on a second.
	Let's throw to Twitter, if you don't mind, if you can wait about one minute.
	And what song do you want to hear them sing on Twitter most?
	Okay, this is hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.
	I don't know if I've told you, I've been watching CNN for 16 hours straight.
	And I'm very exhausted.
	So I'm going to check on Twitter right now.
	And people, by the way, very complimentary.
	People saying that you are incredible.
	So, uh, there are a lot of people.
	Let's see, hold on.
	It's almost too many compliments for me to get through.
	The SuddenKalers is making my day, to be honest, said LittleSnowNinja.
	They sound great.
	Do you know the Grinch by chance?
	No, it's not very Dickens-y.
	Thank you, it was emotional.
	Can the acapella piano man next?
	Listen!
	Guys!
	Come on!
	Come on, give us a real Christmas song, Twitter!
	They're screwing around with me.
	We have half a million people on Twitter, and everyone wants to be the comedian.
	We have these world-class singers here, give us a Christmas song.
	Okay, someone said we have several votes now for either Heart the Herald Angels Sing or Silent Night.
	Which one would you prefer?
	I like Hark the Herald Angels Sing.
	I like Silent Night.
	Really?
	You like Silent Night?
	It's German, so it's appropriate.
	Oh wait, is Silent Night a German song, Sven Computer?
	We can sing it in German!
	And I can't hear you, Sven Computer.
	Okay, thank you.
	Now shut off his mic.
	Alright, Silent Night, is that what we're going to do?
	German, then English?
	Sure.
	Well, you know, he's German.
	This is actually Sven Computer.
	He is German.
	He is here on a J-Visa.
	We had an application process for the show, over 500 applicants, and we got him over here.
	And a very, very bright young man.
	Hence, he's a neural net processor, a learning computer, and I'm sure he'd love to hear the German.
	Okay.
	I'd love to hear it.
	I just couldn't sing along.
	Okay.
	Okay.
	Beep, beep, boop.
	That's fine.
	Beep.
	I was there showing nuggets over.
	Maybe 50 bucks there. - Geez, I don't know what's happening.
	This could just be a military takeover.
	That's exactly what it is.
	All right.
	Okay.
	Silent Night.
	could be a military takeover of our program and I have no idea.
	That's exactly what it is.
	All right.
	Okay.
	Silent Night.
	I'm eager.
	I'm eager.
	Stille Nacht.
	Heilige Nacht.
	Aller schläft einsam walt.
	Nur das Strat, o Heilige Par.
	Holde knabre im lopigen hart.
	Schlaf in hirische Ruh.
	Schlaf in hirische Ruh.
	Silent Night.
	Holy Night.
	All is calm on.
	All is bright, round yon virgin, mother and child.
	Holy infant, so tender and mild.
	Sleep in heavenly peace.
	Sleep in heavenly peace.
	Wow, that was fantastic.
	Unbelievable.
	And you speak German fluently, or just enough to be dangerous?
	Just a little bit.
	That was very impressive.
	And by the way, I don't say that lightly.
	I mean, that was unbelievable.
	Because we had a Dickens caroling group at my church, and they just sucked.
	They were really bad.
	And my mother-in-law, to give you an example, my mother-in-law sang backup.
	She toured with Aretha Franklin, Joni Mitchell, the Grateful Dead, Stevie Nicks for about 25 years.
	And she was just texting me how great you guys were.
	Because it doesn't mean anything for me.
	I'm a comic, right?
	I'm like, it sounds good to me, because I go jingle bells, Batman smells.
	That was incredible.
	So we have them for three songs.
	They have to get going.
	They probably have no idea 15,000 people are watching.
	They have no idea 15,000 people are watching as we speak.
	Thank you.
	Okay, well let me say goodbye.
	By the way, this is just, don't worry, this is just my Walther, they're sponsors of the show.
	What was your name, sir?
	Scott.
	Jackie.
	Jackie.
	And Ted.
	Nice to meet you.
	Scott, Jackie, and Ted.
	Scott, Jackie, and Ted, everybody.
	Give them a round of applause on the Twitter.
	That was incredible.
	Truly.
	That is amazing, Carolyn.
	Probably the best I've ever heard.
	Merry Christmas.
	Thank you.
	Joy to the world, the Lord is come.
	Let earth receive her King.
	Let every heart prepare Him room.
	Let the doorman receive them in the lobby.
	They were really good.
	Thank you guys.
	That was a surprise.
	I had no idea that this was coming down the pike.
	And wow, they were really good.
	And that wasn't as a joke.
	There was a really bad carolers group from my church.
	Why should I believe that 100%?
	And I got in trouble for saying, guys, we shouldn't do this.
	Like, why?
	I was like, do you think Jesus wants to hear bad singing?
	This is me when I was in youth group.
	And I was saying it about myself because they asked me to join the caroling.
	Kind of like if they would have asked me to join CNN back before I knew what I know now.
	Like, would you really want to hack journalists on your trusted network?
	You know, I mean, this is like when I was 12 years old or something.
	And I said it at youth group.
	I said, no, I don't want to go caroling.
	And they said, why?
	And I said, because it's offensive.
	And they said, why?
	I said, it's bad.
	You really think Jesus wants to hear bad singing?
	But I was saying it about myself as much as them, but I was still also saying it about them.
	And I got in trouble.
	I got called in from the youth pastor.
	Point is, that was not that.
	That was not that at all.
	That was very good.
	And very appropriately themed.
	Very appropriately themed.
	More YouTube Carol coming up.
	I realized they probably had no idea that you're not Gay Jared, because when I said it I saw them go like, what?
	What?
	Listen, let's be honest.
	It's a formal introduction.
	Yes, when it comes to singing, caroling, the creative arts, there's probably a good chance that one of them was eyeing you and was disappointed.
	Hey, at Sven Computer, remember I need to be able to hear you, how was the German?
	The German was surprisingly good.
	But I guess opera singers, beep beep, they're often from other countries, because there are a lot of German operas, beep beep, and they're often sung by foreign singers.
	Really?
	There aren't a lot of good German singers?
	No, we're not that big of a nation, beep beep.
	Yeah, but neither is Canada.
	We have Shania Twain, Celine Dion, and so many comedians from Canada.
	You ever notice that?
	A lot of comedians.
	Jim Carrey, Mike Myers, John Candy, Eugene Levy.
	I mean it just goes on and on and on.
	Yeah, but it's just like...
	I mean, obviously there are a lot of German opera singers, but for some of the biggest pieces, like Mozart pieces, that would be Austrian by the way, but they just bring an outside talent if they need like a very good voice for this particular role.
	So yeah.
	Okay.
	Well, a lot of people really liked them.
	So that was a nice break for me, if only to sit and listen to music for three carols.
	I don't want to go back now.
	I don't want to look back.
	I'm literally avoiding looking at a CNN screen.
	And then there's just this.
	It's a long-term reauthorization.
	It doesn't touch the budget cap issue that will lead to sequestration, large cuts across the defense industry and other places as well.
	It's not a long-term reauthorization of the Children's Health Association.
	health insurance program.
	People want a five-year reauthorization.
	It's not a long-term reauthorization.
	Right now, I have a news update on my iPad about CNN and about their poll.
	It's an update everywhere.
	Oh, gosh.
	Thank you, Aaron the Intern, for filming the carolers.
	That was very nice.
	Now, by the way, apparently there are a lot of other unplanned events that I don't know about, so hopefully... Coffee Beans and My Sternum was unplanned.
	Dare I say, I think it's more ethic.
	Yeah, I would say that this was probably a little higher quality.
	This was the most family-friendly of the following events.
	All right, Dickensingers, Dickensingers, I'm looking at the schedule.
	We have Joy Villa coming up soon.
	We have Joy Villa coming up in not too long.
	All right, well, I don't know what we're going to talk about with Joy Villa a ton, but we'll see what we can do.
	Thank you, Aaron, the intern, for filming the Dickens Carolers.
	He was the one with the handheld.
	He did the MTV camera there.
	Yeah, the MTV camera.
	It gets us right in the action.
	So here, I think... How do you...
	Yeah, I don't know.
	Someone sent me something about... Oh, okay.
	Here's what happened with Jake Tapper.
	I just sent it to you, Sven.
	We took a meme that was clearly meant to be tongue-in-cheek, and he was like, that's a false description.
	Read this.
	That's the one.
	And it was about him basically reading a story about proof of media and the DNC colluding against Trump.
	So that's what it was.
	That's why Jake Tapper's such a wiener.
	Hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.
	Go tell Jake Tapper he's a wiener.
	He was a wiener because he got mad about a meme.
	Okay, a special announcement from Mrs. Crowder, apparently.
	I'm sorry, I'm in my casual wear today.
	Okay.
	We actually had a fourth caroler.
	And this fourth caroler was in the green room.
	A woman, of course.
	I think I know where this is going.
	Sobbing hysterically because she didn't know that this was singing for Stephen Crowder.
	And she couldn't even handle it.
	I'm so sorry, I'm so... I just can't... So your mom's in the green room?
	No, my mom's not in the green room.
	Oh, I thought it was your mom.
	No!
	I thought it was because I was talking about... I thought, oh, because her mom is that way.
	Her mom is super emotional and sweet.
	So, I'll tell you something that's really funny.
	And she'll just be like, she'll just be like, I'm overwhelmed with emotion.
	She's like an unbelievable singer.
	So I thought, oh, no, did I spoil it by coming on the interval?
	No, no, so I will tell you something that's really funny that happened.
	Okay.
	So she's sitting there.
	Mrs. Kraut, everybody.
	Hey!
	So I'm sorry.
	Every time Mrs. Crowder is on the stream, somebody says something incredibly inappropriate that's meant to be complimentary.
	So we're in there, and of course she's weeping that she can't go on.
	So they had to sing different songs, actually.
	Because she hates me?
	Because she hates you.
	Yeah, she hates you.
	The dude was actually a fan, though.
	One of the dudes was like a huge fan, like, oh my gosh!
	Was it me, or did you think it was because she was like touched because she likes the show?
	No, no, no, no.
	She was weeping because she hates you.
	And so Darren and I are like, well, if you have an opinion, go in there and tell him.
	If you disagree, go in there and tell him.
	Of course, just like a liberal pansy, you know?
	You know, it's all weeping, no talk.
	This story took a weird turn.
	So real quick.
	So I know we've got all day, so I'll leave you be.
	So then you were just talking about my mom and it's so funny because she said, I just can't, I can't, I can't endorse something like this.
	And Darren goes, well, do you celebrate Christmas?
	Well, I mean, it's kind of my job to, I mean, yes.
	Are you a Christian?
	No.
	So she complies.
	That went right over her head.
	But then I start telling her, my mom's a big conservative, and she actually sang with Aretha Franklin at the inaugural ball for Bill Clinton, because that's what professionals do.
	And... Your mom did?
	Yeah, my mom sang.
	That's right.
	You know why?
	Because when you're a professional, that's what you do.
	Is she still in the green room?
	Oh, no, no, no.
	She wept her way out.
	She's gone.
	Yeah, she's gone.
	So, anyway, Merry Christmas to our fourth weepy, wimpy, sad sack of women.
	So, the guy, one of the guys was a fan.
	One of the guys was a big fan.
	What about the other two?
	The other one was really sweet.
	I'd imagine that's jarring.
	The other one's really sweet.
	I suspect he might have been a fig.
	That's why I was saying that not K. Jarrett might have caught off guard.
	So the reason I say that is because he started, like, when the girl was, like, she wept the entire time, still weeping, and your dad and I obviously, like, were very polite, but, like, come on, you know?
	Your cat didn't die.
	And so he, the fig, which I believe... Don't use that word, we don't know.
	He embraced the weepy caroler.
	And then, and then I'll leave in a second.
	So then the caroler that's a fan, the other man, was saying how his college, his daughter in college is such a fan of you and oh my gosh I just told my kids I'm here and they can't even believe it and so... Know which man?
	The guy who was closest to me?
	The guy that was closer to you, yeah.
	Okay.
	And so... Well, come on, listen, let's be honest.
	If you're gonna call, you know which one is... Go ahead.
	So, um, as he's, uh, as he's saying this, and Weepy is standing at the door cowering, um, I, you know, your dad and I made sure to kind of discuss loudly- Just try and sound a little more empathetic.
	This is traumatizing to her, right?
	I'm sorry, I- She thought she just walked into Hitler's studio.
	This isn't a safe space!
	This isn't a safe space!
	I don't like her knowing where the studio is.
	I know, me either.
	Well, don't go into detail, but- I won't.
	I mean, I was gonna be like- No, stop it, stop it, stop speaking with that.
	So anyway, I, sorry, I do feel bad for people that cry, but not for her.
	That's all.
	Is that it?
	What happened?
	What did the woman do?
	She was just neutral?
	The woman was just like neutral, being like, how I get my money.
	So that, that's fair.
	Well, she was white.
	Yeah, she was white.
	Yeah, I know.
	So there was a, there was a, I don't know why you did that.
	Oh yeah, that's true.
	She's right.
	But if I was asking for money, I'd probably be like, how do I get my money?
	How do I get my money?
	And that's why I married you.
	So there were supposed to be four carolers.
	There were supposed to be four carolers.
	Hashtag CrowderCNN Livestream.
	How many of you still pay for?
	Oh, we haven't paid yet.
	You are not going to pay for more than three carolers, Jared Metella.
	Good.
	Well, hold on a second.
	Is it like, do you prorate it?
	Or is it just a package deal?
	I don't know.
	Let her weep off the earth and decrease the surplus population.
	Like I felt bad for like 10 seconds.
	And then when we get, here's the thing, I felt bad for like 10 seconds, then we gave her the opportunity to come in here and make her case.
	Cause I am all about woman empowerment.
	Oh, you know, if she'd have come in here, I would have listened to her.
	You would have been so polite.
	Absolutely.
	You would have been so polite.
	Well, especially if you walked her in here.
	If I just thought she was coming in to attack me, but if you just said, Hey, listen, this caroler doesn't agree with you.
	Uh, she wanted to voice her opinion.
	You know, not if she threw a glass of water on me, but people have seen the change my mind segments.
	Absolutely!
	I mean, in fairness, she's probably safer with you than with me in the green room.
	Do you have any idea how many times I have performed for liberal audiences?
	I know!
	And liberal club owners as a stand-up comic?
	You know why?
	Because that's what professionals do.
	She can never Can I say bitch?
	No, don't say- You just did!
	She can never complain about- Oh, she can never bitch in the verb.
	Yeah, she can never bitch.
	Okay, I was like, that's not a character.
	You never name call.
	No, I never name call.
	I've never heard you call anyone a bitch in your life.
	Never.
	But I've heard you say, don't bitch about it.
	Yeah, don't bitch about it.
	Alright, that's why I'm surprised.
	But you can never- Complain about the gay cake baking.
	If you are not like she literally lost her gay cake baking card complaining.
	She lost her gay cake baking card!
	She did!
	That's a popular card.
	Trump's all the other ones.
	So anyway, I was upset because we were really excited to bring you four carolers, and we had four special songs planned out, and... Oh, so that's why you said three?
	Yeah.
	I was like, how many songs do we have?
	And you were like, oh, three.
	And I was like, why are we... And, well, they had to change some of the different songs.
	I was really disappointed.
	I was really disappointed about that.
	Why?
	Why?
	There were some songs that... Because there were songs that required another female.
	And so she was busy.
	That's why they said, we won't sing Carol of the Bells.
	And I was like, oh, please sing Carol of the Bells.
	They're like, now.
	And they were like, no.
	Because one of us thinks you're an asshole.
	Right.
	Okay.
	For people who don't, by the way, thank you.
	Thank you.
	You're welcome.
	Tell people watching right now, because they're just talking about VP Pence, surprise visit to Afghanistan, breaking news.
	Whoa, stop the press.
	For people watching, that's okay, I don't need to hear this right now.
	We'll go back to it.
	Jake Tapper's a wiener.
	So, tell people how often this kind of, a lot of people don't understand how often this kind of thing happens, where we run into people who don't like us, or we become, you know, a part of a small group or something, and someone, and you find out someone is uncomfortable.
	I mean, this isn't an isolated incident.
	Yeah, and what's really funny, though, is you and I, I think we make a point to be, especially with strangers, very, very friendly, because that's the right thing to do, is to be really friendly to people, not apathetic.
	So we really can make a point to be very friendly to people.
	Okay, not counting Weepy in the green room, but we make a point to be... I'm sure you were probably friendlier to her than you're telling the story now.
	No, oh my gosh, yeah, absolutely.
	My wife, what happens is she's super, super nice, and then she gets mad, and then 30 minutes later she's telling the story.
	So she tells the story, telling the rage she felt at the time.
	Yeah, basically what happens is I'll be like, and then I murdered him, but really I just gave him a dirty look.
	Right.
	Like that's kind of my equivalent.
	I thought for sure it was going to be your mom because you were saying like, oh, she was so touched, she would be weeping.
	And I was like, yeah, because your mom would be touched if I were to talk about what a great singer she is.
	So I thought, oh, I should have just not complimented her mom because then she would be able to sing.
	And then you said she was crying and I, and I, I can't believe my instinct.
	I made the connection, the connection immediately.
	I thought like, I, at first I, and I thought like, wait, there's a split chance.
	Was she crying?
	Cause she, it was nervous because she likes the show or was she, and you answered the question immediately.
	But back to the point you were making before, like usually when we got, you know, When we're talking to just, you know, strangers, we want to be overly friendly, we want to be really friendly.
	And when someone figures out who you are and they don't like you, what's interesting is, like, we'll stay friendly with them, but all of a sudden they become really rude and abrasive.
	And it's bizarre because, like, we weren't being rude and abrasive, but because they have this idea of who you are and they don't like your ideas, they become snotty and rude first.
	Have you noticed that?
	Well, I'm glad you didn't come in and see my Walther chastity belt.
	It probably would have escalated things.
	She would have walked in... Here's a question though.
	If you're the other carolers, do you feel...
	Are you upset by the situation of you being, you know, Nazi, Stephen Carter?
	Or are you pissed off at her for leaving you hanging?
	A good killer never leaves the singer behind!
	Never leaves the singer behind.
	No, I... I'd be pissed!
	I'd be like... Get in there!
	I don't give a rat's ass how you feel about his politics.
	We're a quartet!
	But he believes that people should be able to keep more than half after death of their state.
	I will say the one thing that made me feel like even a little bit better, which then she like locked herself into the green room where we're.
	Yeah, she, like, locked herself- She locked you out of my green room?
	Yeah, and Darren and I are banging on the door, and she locks herself in the green room.
	And then I'm like, okay, well, there's like 12 guns in there.
	But she's never going to touch them because she's terrified if she looks at them, they're going to go off.
	And so I'm kind of also feeling a little bit glad because she's traumatized enough, but we're going to hear even more PTSD by having her around the gun.
	Do you have any idea the press release?
	A caroler in full breaking news on the chyron, or developing a fully Dickens-era-dressed caroler blew her brains out in Steven Crowder's green room today when she was forced at gunpoint to perform Hark the Herald Angels Sing for the notorious troll artist.
	It's just amazing to me.
	And his Nazi dog.
	Oh, God.
	Okay, well, thank you, sweetheart.
	You're welcome.
	I appreciate it.
	Thank you for trying.
	Sorry I didn't get the fourth carrot.
	Thank you very much.
	Mrs. Crowder, everybody.
	Hey, come on.
	She gave it the old college try.
	They were still great as a triplet.
	Someone has been asking me, why do you keep wiggling your toes?
	You know why?
	It's because, first off, I have a sciatica thing.
	Particularly so I have to wiggle my right toes.
	And then I just kind of do both.
	That's all.
	And I haven't had much time for exercise today because I've been sitting in this chair, so I'm a little wiggly, I'm not going to lie.
	I'm a little bit... I want to get the jitters out.
	I get that really bad in my legs sometimes.
	In fact, one time I went to sleep and I was like, oh, I need to sleep better.
	So I took two Benadryl.
	Turned out that had a reverse reaction.
	I woke up with all the jitters in my legs.
	Oh really?
	Yeah.
	I don't get restless leg.
	It's become a habit because, you know, I have the herniated lower disc, or one of them's ruptured, one of them's herniated.
	Anyways, so what happens is then, like, I get these stingers, so I got in the habit of moving my toes.
	And so now I just happen to do it a lot, because when I'm sitting, I'm like, oh, just move my toes, make sure they're still there.
	Sure.
	Make sure my toes are still there, and they're still there, unlike the fourth caroler.
	That's crazy to me.
	Do we have Joyvilla on the phone?
	Yeah, about 30 seconds out.
	In about 30 seconds, okay.
	Well, actually, it's a perfect time to bring on Joyvilla to ask her about that.
	Yeah, has she ever been ditched by a, by a panty killer?
	Yeah, I have no idea.
	This is crazy to me that that would even occur.
	So, David Barton, okay, then Joy Villa, then we have a break, and then, okay, that's, that's, I mean, here's one thing, too, people.
	This is, when we talk about, no one really has a monopoly on tolerance.
	That's the truth.
	I've met some, some conservatives, some Republicans who are asses, right?
	I'm not going to say that it's only liberals, but There is a skew.
	There is absolutely a disproportionate, there is an imbalance of intolerance right now.
	And it certainly comes from the left.
	I mean, just look at the way they treated Santorum on CNN.
	It's like a political bell curve if the bell had been left in the sun for like 3,000 years.
	It's a little slouched.
	You know what else, though?
	Let's say I were hired as a stand-up comedian, okay?
	And I don't do it as much anymore because we just have to work on the show so much.
	We work so many hours.
	Nakia, Jared, and I, by the way, we're going to be doing Virginia Tech in February, and we're going to actually take—if you want this show, if you want Lotta with Crowder, To be taken on the road to your show, to your school.
	Sorry, my brain is already mush and I have to make it to midnight.
	Good Lord.
	Send me your tweet at S Crowder.
	Hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.
	We're going to bring the full show, not stand up.
	We're going to bring the full show.
	We'll broadcast the show and do Q&A with the audience at your school.
	That's going to happen in 2018, is the next year, to follow 2017, I believe.
	That doesn't sound right yet.
	Watch this.
	Watch this.
	People are going to say you're on cocaine, especially after what Gavin said, but the air is being recycled in here.
	And we have to keep it pretty dry because of the, uh, I think almost the dehumidifier's been too successful for today.
	I think it has been.
	Does your nose dry?
	My nose has been a little dry today.
	A little bit, yeah.
	Yeah, I don't know.
	Okay, we have our next guest, so we will get this out on the Twitter.
	Uh, you know her, you love her.
	Is there an underscore on her Twitter?
	Uh, yes.
	There's the underscore.
	She is Joy underscore Villa, known artist and, uh, friend of the show.
	Joy, how are you?
	Merry Christmas!
	Oh, I wish... I wish I could say Merry... Now, you're a Christmas person.
	You're not a Kwanzaa person, correct?
	I am a Christmas person, yes.
	Not a Kwanzaa person.
	It's less than 1%.
	It's less than 1%.
	Were you just watching?
	Did you just hear the carolers' story?
	I'll say I'm a Kwanzaa.
	If somebody wants to claim it, if they identify as a Kwanzaa celebrator, I'm not gonna, you know, fart on their train.
	But I don't, personally.
	Did you just say fart on their train?
	Yeah, because there's a closed space.
	Nobody's supposed to fart on a train.
	That's not a phrase, Joy.
	That's not a phrase.
	I've heard fart in an elevator.
	I've seen it often, you guys.
	Oh, okay.
	All right.
	It's a told phrase.
	Stop trying to make it a thing, Joy.
	It's not going to be a thing.
	Let me ask you, did you just watch this, the carolers?
	Did you just hear that story?
	No.
	Oh, she wasn't watching.
	I heard a little bit of the story.
	I didn't hear the whole thing.
	What happened?
	They surprised me with some Christmas carolers, the whole team, very nice of them.
	I'm watching CNN for 16 hours.
	I'm sure you're probably aware of this.
	It's torture.
	And I'm very tired already at this point.
	My brain is mush.
	You're all just wasted, I can tell.
	I'm completely misinformed now.
	I am behind an entire news cycle because I've been watching CNN all day.
	What do you identify now?
	What do you identify as?
	Um, suicidal.
	And so, what happens is they bring in these carolers.
	I didn't realize, my wife just told me this story, there was a fourth caroler.
	And she was in the green room and she started sobbing.
	And she said, I didn't realize there was two of them, I refused.
	And she locked herself in my green room, locking my producers out.
	And so only three carolers came in to do the song.
	She refused to perform.
	And even my producer said, I'm surprised that there was guns in the green room.
	I heard that.
	In that couch!
	We got guns in the couch!
	I love it!
	I heard that.
	Yes, yes.
	There are many.
	There are guns in every room.
	In every room.
	In the green room.
	Everywhere in the office.
	In this studio.
	Those two actually.
	In that couch.
	We got guns in the couch.
	We got guns.
	I got a gun right now.
	Look, I got a gun chesty belt from Walter.
	Pow, pow.
	Maybe you shouldn't have a gun.
	You're suicidal watching CNN.
	Maybe someone should take this away.
	This is true.
	That should be part of the universal background check.
	And she refused to come out.
	And they said, listen, you can go out and air your grievances.
	And if anyone has seen the Change My Mind segment, I'm not someone who pounces on anybody.
	That would be beautiful.
	It would be a change my mind, right?
	You know?
	Let me ask you this.
	I mean, listen, you're more conservative now.
	I don't know if you've always been this way.
	What do you do if you're asked to do a gig and it's something, you know, you're there and the person happens to be liberal?
	Do you do it?
	Well, of course I would do it.
	Are you kidding me?
	I would literally have to boycott 99% of anything I ever do if I was going to do that.
	I mean, I grew up conservative and then I went more liberal because it was just so much easier.
	And I was honestly brainwashed, just like you're about to be watching CNN.
	They do great propaganda.
	And then I said, you know what?
	F this.
	You know, I need to be an independent person.
	And that's when I came out with the Trump dress and everything.
	But I mean, I tell you, I'll sing for anybody as long as they're not, you know, killing babies and stuff like that.
	Well, so now I'm not a Planned Parenthood fundraiser.
	Yeah, never, ever.
	Actually, I would troll a Planned Parenthood fundraiser.
	I would, like, bring a baby and be like, I didn't support this baby.
	And I'd, like, choose life on my dress or something like that.
	That would be fun.
	That would be pretty funny.
	But let's say, like, I don't know, Joe Lieberman or Barack Obama, they said, hey, they're big.
	Or Misha, is it Misha?
	Misha Obama.
	They're big fans.
	And they say, hey, they're big fans.
	Would you come sing at Misha's?
	Is it Misha?
	Is it a daughter?
	Michelle!
	No, Michelle's the wife.
	Malia, Malia, Malia.
	If they say, hey listen, Malia's a big fan, would you come and sing at her birthday party?
	Would you sing?
	I would!
	Yeah!
	Okay, there we go!
	It's not that... That's stupid!
	If you're a singer, you get paid to sing.
	It's not like, you know, singing for Hitler or something.
	I mean, that's crazy.
	I mean, would I sing for Hillary Clinton?
	No.
	That I could not do.
	Yeah, that'd be a little different.
	I mean, if it's like for Molly Obama, just to sing, you know what I mean?
	Yeah.
	Could I interview you for some of that K-tar money, though?
	Right!
	Oh, you know what?
	You're right.
	Look at this.
	What is going on with this?
	Oh, you know what?
	It's just it's just that.
	Hold on.
	You know what?
	You're right.
	Let me fix it for you, Joy.
	So right now, Jono and Brennan.
	Hold on.
	This is CNN.
	They're reading a tweet from John Owen Brennan saying that Trump's response to the UN's vote is outrageous.
	So let's go back on this.
	The UN's vote is to condemn Trump recognizing Jerusalem as the capital of Israel, which it is, and putting the embassy in Jerusalem, which it's supposed to have been since 99.
	And the vote is outrageous because it was 128 to 9 to condemn Trump.
	It means nothing.
	And now CNN is talking about How John Owen Brennan tweeted that Trump's response to this crazy decision is outrageous.
	Do you see how watching this every day would just turn your brain to absolute mush?
	It's crazy.
	Totally.
	I mean, you wouldn't even be able to think for yourself.
	CNN is so ridiculous.
	They have no truth.
	They're just like a gossip site.
	CNN is like E!
	News, Kardashians, Real Housewives.
	They're exactly in that category now.
	It's just total, it's crap entertainment.
	It's not even real news.
	It's not reporting.
	I think it's served, though, and that's what this whole stream is about, is to illuminate kind of the biases because everyone knows Keith Olbermann has a bias, right?
	But for the longest time, people thought Jake Tapper was fair and straight down the middle, and I think people now know that's not the case.
	And so the whole purpose to this stream is, I was like, listen, We can't cheat it.
	Nothing up my sleeve.
	No camera tricks.
	We're going to sit and watch the original clock from pillar to post so you can see what a day in CNN news is like.
	And this is what we're seeing.
	And I think a lot of people for a long time thought, oh, Jake Tapper's not Keith Olbermann.
	He is.
	He hides it better.
	Yeah, exactly.
	It's more insidious.
	Thank you for your service.
	You guys are tortured for the cause.
	I wouldn't even do that.
	Oh, believe me, waterboarding was nothing compared to this.
	And I mean it.
	Waterboarding was bad.
	Don't get me wrong.
	What are you going to do next year?
	Well, I don't know.
	I don't know.
	I'm going to have to bring in that caroler and give her a switchblade and bring in caroler number four just to be West Side Story trying to dodge her whole show.
	I have no idea.
	I don't know where we go from here.
	I don't know how much worse it can get, Joy.
	I just... So, okay, I'm glad to hear you say that, because I would perform stand-up.
	Like I said, I wouldn't perform for a function that would be, like, Planned Parenthood or something, but if just someone who happened to be a liberal... But I guess I can see it.
	We happen to... We're more activists.
	Especially if it was a liberal's kid.
	I mean, if it was something that... Also, you're not doing a super crazy show.
	I mean, it's humor.
	You're a comedian.
	And I guess it's crazy to her mind.
	But first of all, you're letting CNN take over for a little bit.
	You're watching CNN.
	It's a show that you're not totally... You do a change my mind segment.
	It's not like you're so hard right, you wouldn't even hear her say she voted for Obama or something.
	So for her to totally boycott you is crazy.
	She got paid for this too, right?
	I don't- that's the question!
	Okay, hold on.
	Oh, let me hear Nakajiri, because I have a question about that.
	Here's the parallel with the pizza thing again, though.
	I can understand a little bit, because this is kind of- this is us on duty performing- making the show, right?
	We are making- this is the Lockheller program.
	This is- if she did this part, I get it.
	She- it's part of the- what we do.
	Yeah.
	But would she serve you tea at a restaurant?
	Would she- Would she make you, uh, you know, let you check out in her lane at Walmart?
	Would she bake me a wedding cake?
	Would she bake you a wedding cake?
	So here's the thing.
	How far does it go?
	Exactly.
	Here's the question, though.
	The parallel there.
	Coursera's never argued that we shouldn't serve gay people in restaurants.
	No!
	She said, hey, I don't want to be a part of this event.
	So there's the parallel.
	She just did it.
	Yeah, she just did it.
	Here's the thing.
	I don't think she has to at all.
	And not me, Jared.
	I need to say something really important.
	If you're really not gay, you need to unbutton that a little bit.
	Okay?
	You need to just show the goods.
	Ladies are waiting, you know.
	Yeah, baby.
	Put on appendix carry.
	Both of us have to for the rest of the day.
	I've been I've been committed to this.
	Yeah, appendix carry this Walter.
	No, that's very true.
	Um, hold on a second.
	Someone's just sending me something.
	Hold on a second.
	Breaking.
	Victoria's acting police commissioner tells Sky News the alleged Street attackers attributed his actions to perceived mistreatment of Muslims, but has no known links to any terrorist groups.
	So, the Afghani, whose name, Saeed Nouri, was never mentioned on CNN, seems that he was motivated by perceived mistreatment of Muslims.
	I am just... Oh, we haven't given you the hit list.
	Sorry, hold on, Joy.
	And then I'll go back to the payment issue.
	So the hit list, CNN stoking Russia hysteria with the idea that Trump is going to fire Mueller.
	He said he wouldn't.
	Adam Schiff was talking about the Mueller probe.
	Even though he's been saying for nine months he has evidence, there is no evidence.
	They haven't mentioned Uranium One once, Joy.
	Not once.
	All day, number one trend.
	No mention, of course, of the Melbourne attacker being Afghani Saeed Nayori, so now we'll see if they actually talk about this because this just broke on Twitter.
	They told it to Sky News.
	The CHIP program, they literally said 9 million tiny Tims would go without health care because of Donald Trump.
	They said that?
	Yeah, they actually used the words tiny Tims.
	And then they've never mentioned the 99.95 Israel vote for it to be the embassy and the, of course, the the capital.
	And then, of course, they just said they said breaking Justin Bannon hates Bush.
	They said where Steve Bannon said Bush 43 was the most destructive president ever.
	By the way, I don't agree with him, but they just said Justin that actually came to us from October.
	So that's the hit list thus far.
	And not to mention the way they're presenting the Israel issue.
	It's just the bias.
	But let me ask you this.
	What do you think is more harmful?
	MSNBC, people like that caroler, or the soft bias by omission?
	The lies that you're not aware of are being told because they just never give you the full story.
	What do you think is worse?
	I think it's a great question, the omission.
	The soft omission.
	Because there are people who still think CNN is real news.
	They have their contracts with airports, so they're just blasted propaganda everywhere.
	And if you don't tell the whole story, you're literally lying.
	That is a lie by omission.
	You don't give a fair and balanced side.
	And if you don't start talking about Uranium One, which is huge breaking news, which ties the Clinton, you know, horribleness into everything, and also New York Times, They did a story about how the Clintons were taking money for something with Russia.
	They did something like that about a year ago, and now they're refusing to even bring up their own stories.
	Well, they're refusing to bring this up, and I'm just amazed.
	Right now they're talking, it says, you know, it's continually said breaking about the UN vote.
	Now it's not saying breaking, but it had been saying that all day.
	And it had been saying breaking, you know, they're voting for government shutdown.
	The Republicans, by the way, we've said this, have already said, well, there doesn't need to be a shutdown till the 19th.
	You just need to vote on it.
	But they're not saying Republicans are going to avoid a shutdown to the 19th so you can actually sit down and hash this out.
	They're just saying Republicans want to shut down.
	And here we are, right now they're talking about tax increases on Puerto Rico businesses.
	Nothing.
	Nothing on the Melbourne attack.
	They've never mentioned that he was Afghani named Sayyid Nouri.
	And now on Sky News, you'd think, how do I have this now five, ten minutes before CNN that he said it was about Muslim mistreatment?
	How have they not mentioned this?
	And when they do, if they do mention it, what are they going to do to spin it?
	Because they're not going to say that he was Muslim.
	They're not going to say, you know, they're not going to say any of that.
	I think they will.
	But I think right now they're figuring out how to spin it.
	I think right now they're figuring out how to spin it.
	And if he did anything that was, you know, that could be considered out of character, they'll go the mental health issue.
	Right.
	So I would if I don't know about you, but I would stop this.
	This seems to me if they're going to say breaking news, Steve Bannon didn't like Bush 43.
	Seems like the guy who just ran a truck into Christmas shoppers and said it was because of mistreatment.
	Seems like that would be breaking news to me.
	Okay, Joy.
	So we went back.
	Do we have to pay the four singers?
	Because you've sang in a group.
	What's the rule?
	Can I prorate it for three?
	Um, my gosh.
	Okay, so if I get paid, when I get paid to sing, I have to do the actual job.
	It's just like anything, gardening.
	I mean, that's the singers.
	I'll tell you from the perspective of a singer, struggling in Hollywood for many years, struggling as an entertainer.
	The whole thing is like, oh, can you sing at my wedding?
	Oh, can you sing at my party?
	And they don't want to pay you because they just want free entertainment.
	That's totally disrespectful because it's like if you pay somebody to cut your hair, you're not trying to get a freebie or, you know, fix your car.
	So on that side, singers want to work to get paid.
	Now if a singer gets paid and they don't work, They shouldn't get paid then.
	I mean, she showed up, she didn't do the job.
	I don't think you should pay her.
	You know, I mean, what's the reason she gave?
	She just freaked the hell out?
	That's not good enough.
	She doesn't know you.
	She doesn't know anything about what you guys are doing.
	Okay, I'm sorry, I'm reading this story as it unfolds.
	I'm Melbourne because CNN's not telling us about it.
	It's for the first time I actually feel like I'm informed on something.
	So I don't have to, okay, I don't have to pay the fourth singer.
	I just pay for the three.
	I don't think you should.
	No.
	She didn't do the job.
	Okay, I think that's more than fair.
	Hey, let me ask you, Sven... I think he paid for her gas to come out or something.
	I don't know what the deal was, if it was like gas... Ah, they carpooled.
	Hey, Sven Computer, let me ask you.
	What do you think?
	You were there.
	Do you think I need to pay for the... If it's a quartet, do I pay full price or do I prorate it for three?
	No, you prorate it.
	Everyone says prorate it for three.
	Okay, so it's not like I would be a miser for doing that because she made it a point to not come out.
	I should make it a point to not pay her.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	All right.
	I mean, you can do it in all, you know, you can do it in a polite way.
	Just like, you know, I'm sorry, but you didn't do your job.
	So these singers did, they get paid and have a good life.
	You know, you don't have to be nasty about it.
	But the fact of the matter, she's not, she shouldn't pick up a paycheck.
	I just hate artists.
	And I know I've been a stand-up comic my whole life, but I just hate how self-important artists are.
	Sometimes I'm like, I cannot do this.
	I cannot.
	You don't understand me.
	It's like, there are people out there You're dying right now in foxholes, okay?
	You're a cowler.
	Get your ass in here, okay?
	Do your best El Divo impression, do a holy night, and march on out, all right?
	It's me sitting here in a onesie and a Santa hat watching CNN.
	We're not sending people to death marches.
	All right, okay.
	What was her excuse just because of who you are?
	That's it, that's it.
	She had no reason.
	She was like, I didn't know it was David Grutter!
	And then the one guy... I just talked to Darren.
	Apparently she was melting in the hallway and I couldn't stand up.
	Oh, really?
	Hold on.
	I was talking to Darren.
	Apparently, she was melting in the hallway.
	Could not stand up and, like, could barely support her own weight.
	Really?
	Troubling.
	Can we get Darren out here to tell his version?
	Because he spent a lot of time with her.
	Darren usually doesn't like to be on camera, but I'm sure we can get him out here after once we're done with... Why don't we have a live camera team in the hallway?
	That would have been great.
	Yeah, now looking back, I should have had a camera in the green room.
	I would have loved to see... Yeah, that would have been great.
	Well, I have a beautiful...
	I have a beautiful old nickel-plated Smith & Wesson revolver that sits on a shelf, so it's like that, but it's on a gun stand.
	And it's really just mainly just aesthetic, because it's a beautiful classic revolver with a rosewood grip handle and beautiful underlug to the barrel.
	So I wonder if she was eyeing that at one point, like... I mean...
	It's just, it's just how many, you know what I mean?
	She's too triggered!
	No, she's probably triggered by guns.
	People like that, they need their pussy hat, you know, to feel better about themselves.
	Where's Madonna?
	She was like Ace Ventura when nature calls.
	She was like Ace Ventura when nature calls, seeing all the animal heads.
	She was like, Stephen Carter!
	Then she saw a gun.
	Close up, everything was triggering to her.
	There was no safety.
	Oh my God.
	All right, Joy, I'm sorry.
	I'm glad we got your input.
	Where's the best place for people to find you?
	We have to get going.
	Yes.
	Well, they can go to bringjoytocongress.com because I just announced my exploratory endeavor into Congress, a possible Congress run for Florida, the state of Florida.
	Bringjoytocongress.com.
	Bringjoytocongress.com.
	Bing?
	Bring?
	Bing.
	I'm already tired.
	I'm sorry.
	I swear, this is caffeine.
	This is not...
	No, I haven't had anything to... That one guy was a baritone, though.
	The guy who had his eyes on you.
	Bringjoytocongress.com.
	Well, listen, Joy, it's a long shot, but you have a brass pair on you to do that, so let us know.
	Keep us updated.
	I mean that as a compliment.
	I know that you don't have testicles.
	Well, you know, if I did, it would be an honor.
	If you did, it would be an honor.
	A brass pendulous pair.
	So, joyvilla, joy underscore villa at Twitter.
	Thank you so much for joining us, Joy.
	We must go.
	Love you guys.
	Love you very much.
	We appreciate it.
	A lovely lady, lovely lass.
	Okay, hold on.
	Before we bring Darren out, let's watch this.
	Let's bring up some CNN real quick.
	Here's Jake Tapper.
	Any mention, any mention, Sven Computer, you've been paying attention to CNN.
	Any mention of the Melbourne attack yet?
	No.
	Sven, do you need some caffeine, Sven Computer?
	No.
	Sven, do you need some caffeine, Sven Computer?
	Do you need some Figgy Pops?
	I'm a computer.
	Oh, wait, hold on a second.
	Ah.
	So, rather than run a story on the actual motives of a Muslim terrorist who ran a van into Christmas shoppers, let's speculate over whether the super villain Steve Bannon might run for president someday.
	So, rather than run a story on the actual motives of a Muslim terrorist who ran a van into Christmas shoppers, let's speculate over whether the super villain Steve Vannon might run for president someday.
	Okay?
	Yeah, Sven Computer, you're hitting it at your lamp for your overlay.
	Yes, if Jared can bring it up.
	So, the police spoke this morning to this guy, because he apparently improved in the hospital, beep beep, and this guy said, they said, he spoke about dreams, beep beep, boop boop, and he spoke about voices, but he also did attribute some of his actions to the poor treatment of Muslims, beep beep.
	So it sounds like this guy is like, already planning for the court sessions, he's like, yeah, I'm mentally ill, but they mistreat Muslims.
	Yeah, that's a good read on it.
	Yeah, it does sound... It's like, uh... Why did you do this?
	Because Muhammad is the holiest prophet, peace be upon him, and I believe the holy land... Because right now we're looking at Tel Aviv moving to Jerusalem... Also, my toaster talks to me.
	Completely covering his face.
	Okay, everybody!
	We have Papa Crowder in the house!
	Sorry, I know you don't usually like to come out here.
	Fine.
	This is good stuff.
	Hold on a second, I'm going to whip this out of the way, because, you know this, what I do is if I have caffeine, what?
	I got a stash going over here to dispose of stuff.
	Just because if I have the full caffeine, I feel like I've had too much.
	Huh.
	Close enough.
	Pick it up on the way out.
	Darren, tell us the story here.
	This is fascinating.
	Someone, let's get the tweet out about the Caroller story, and let's get an image out, Sven Computer, with Darren here in studio.
	What actually happened?
	So, this poor gal.
	It's the worst thing that could have happened to her, but the best thing for us.
	This is great show fodder, I'm sorry.
	And I can't do any more justice than Hillary already did, but she was sobbing, and Her diaphragm convulsing, I exaggerate, zero.
	Steadying herself.
	She means diaphragm.
	Yeah, that diaphragm.
	Didn't fall out on the floor.
	May have.
	At one point, this diaphragm, and then this diaphragm go, like a gremlin who's been watered after midnight.
	OK, go ahead, sorry.
	Holding on to the doorframe to steady herself.
	She was so devastated.
	And I just kind of pressed in and said, what is it?
	What's bothering you?
	And she finally said, she just, is it something about the show that's offended you?
	Okay.
	Well, what do you know about the show?
	And she said, I know about the show, she said.
	Okay.
	And I said, okay, well, if there's something that bothers you, get out there and let them know.
	Go in there and let them know.
	Thanks for letting me, thanks for giving me fair warning, Pops.
	Zero warning.
	And I said, that's what you do.
	You don't get offended.
	You don't break down.
	You engage in the process.
	Hold on a second.
	Something's wrong.
	I'll give you my hat.
	You have to be Christmasy.
	She didn't want to do that.
	She could barely speak.
	So, how am I looking?
	You look like her meeting.
	You look like Henry Cavill in any scene of battle in Superman.
	Just perfectly slick?
	Just perfectly slick.
	Alright, sorry.
	So, convulsing in the hallway, and Hillary says, you know, my mom was a professional singer, and she actually sang at Bill Clinton's inaugural, she told you, because it was her job.
	Inauguration, I think.
	Yeah, inauguration.
	You said inaugural.
	So you meant to say inaugural ball or inauguration.
	Come on, the half-Asian lawyer isn't here right now.
	You done messed up, Pops.
	Ray hours and 38 minutes in.
	What?
	Ray hours and 38 minutes in.
	But that's what you do when you're a professional.
	And she kind of fell silent on that.
	And I said, you sing Christmas carols, right?
	Yep, that's what I do.
	You're part of the carol team?
	Yeah.
	You do that throughout the holiday season?
	Yeah, I have for a long time.
	Do you consider yourself a Christian?
	Feeling like she'd been caught, she said, I don't identify as that at all.
	My fault would have been, oh, you don't identify.
	Do you have a cock?
	That's another subject, but anyway.
	Seems appropriate at that point.
	It's all about identifying.
	Okay.
	But didn't realize she just made our point.
	Right.
	That she's willing to sing Christmas carols, although not a Christian.
	And she locked herself in my green room?
	Yeah, we couldn't get in there at one point.
	There's a revolver right on the shelf!
	Yes.
	And many more that she can't see.
	I was very concerned, but... It's not loaded.
	Okay.
	Yeah, that one's not loaded.
	You know, I thought she might come out of there fan and the hammer on all of us.
	You don't know.
	No, that one's not loaded.
	And the reason it's not loaded is so that they think that one, and I've got another one that is loaded.
	Yeah.
	So it's like a feint.
	We've got to update our Walther commercial.
	Instead of Aaron the Intern in the bathroom, it's just a caroler coming around the door.
	Well, it wasn't one of those sweet Walters in there.
	No, it wasn't.
	It's an old revolver.
	It's more of a classic.
	It's not something I would use.
	So that's all the news fit to print on it.
	It's good stuff for us, but wow.
	So she just left.
	You're not going to pay her, are you?
	Oh, I don't think she's worthy of that.
	I mean, they're going to take a hit.
	They have to.
	Yeah.
	Did they say you're paying for four, so you're going to take it and write it down to three?
	Yeah, it was an important fourth voice for Carol of the Bells and some of the other stuff that adds the Yeah, let's get a poll going.
	Hold on a second.
	Poll Twitter on Carolers here.
	So let's get a poll going.
	Hold on.
	Carolers.
	Yeah, it doesn't... Look at that.
	Look at that spell check.
	Damn it!
	Damn it, Apple!
	It's done it to me a few times, too.
	So yeah, I want to hear from Twitter, and then Sven Computer, we'll have you bring up the results of the poll.
	Do you think that Pops Crowder, or myself, Well, really, I mean, it's you guys.
	Your mug club.
	It's your dollar.
	It's your dollar with this.
	This is something you guys paid for.
	Democracy.
	Democracy.
	But let's be honest.
	I'll veto the hell out of you.
	If I was like, we don't really think we want to pay for it.
	The world's sickest dildo.
	And Sven Peter's like, it's mine!
	So what do you think?
	Do we pay?
	Do we pro-rate it down to three?
	They have a rate.
	Let's just say they have a standard rate.
	But did it say this includes X songs and X amount of carolers?
	We assumed it was four.
	Okay.
	That's what we auditioned.
	And a number of songs... You auditioned them?
	Well, we saw them and they sang for us.
	But... Where?
	They didn't say how many songs they'd do.
	We thought we'll frame that in with time.
	Based on where we were in the show.
	Okay.
	So... So we won't... It's not a time issue or a number of songs.
	It's a fullness of voice.
	Yeah.
	You auditioned four?
	Yeah.
	Where did you audition them?
	Okay, I won't say it.
	I won't say it, but, you know, I just wonder if it was like it was in the middle of a Starbucks and people were like, shut up!
	Or I wonder if it was, you know, in the green room and she saw the revolver.
	No, no.
	We didn't audition her here.
	I was going to say, wow, that is, well, thank you very much for even trying to put that together.
	It was a lot of fun.
	This was, this was high drama and you guys are, you know, completely unaware of it going on behind the scenes.
	I have, well, I know there are more surprises set for me, so, um... Let's just... Hold on, let me, let me, hold on a second, let me read the poll here.
	Has the poll gone out, guys?
	Let me see, real quick, if the poll has gone out.
	I don't think it's out yet.
	You don't think it's out yet?
	Yeah.
	It is out or no?
	No, no, it's not out yet.
	Beep, beep, boop, dammit.
	Dammit.
	Alright, you know what, we'll let you know.
	We'll let you know with the results of the polls and then that'll be based on how you use the work card.
	Good.
	Sounds good.
	Alright, thanks Papa Crowder.
	Don't let your tweet win through, Steven.
	I didn't put a tweet out.
	Oh.
	I was asking the team to right now.
	Oh, hey, Hopper!
	Hey, buddy!
	Hey, look at this!
	This one's a little bit gay.
	Little bit gay.
	This one's a little bit gay.
	I don't like this on you.
	I don't like the tiara.
	Let's take this off.
	Let's just say, in light of the events of the previous entertainment, the night could get much worse.
	The night could get much worse?
	So much worse.
	Oh gosh.
	Well how much worse are we talking?
	Thank you, Hopper!
	Thank you!
	Do you want to use this as a chew toy?
	It has potential.
	For a lot worse.
	Look at Hopper, people who aren't watching, it's a CNN commercial right now for people who don't know, look at him.
	This dog wraps around your leg for affection.
	You'd think that we never pet this dog.
	If he's not in here, he's being pet by someone else in the green room.
	I wonder if Hopper was locked in the green room with her.
	That would have been hilarious.
	The crazy lady.
	She probably thought it was illegal to leave.
	Oh Hopper, if you'd have bited her, you would have been the hero.
	If you'd have bited her, you would have been the hero for all time.
	Okay, thank you for licking my face.
	Sorry, I let my dog lick my face sometimes, because he looks like he's a little bit tired and hasn't gotten enough attention from me today.
	Okay.
	I think the consensus will go to the poll.
	The consensus is going to be some point here pretty soon.
	My guess is don't pay for the fourth caroler.
	Who do we have next year on the docket?
	Do we have a break that we can go to so I have to use the bathroom again?
	I know we've got a little bit.
	Do we have any other breaks?
	Do we have any of the Home Alone things or any other... Yeah, we have some things we can run.
	We do have a couple of things.
	Alright, I'm going to let you guys take over the helm for a couple of minutes because I have to go use the restroom.
	How long do I have?
	I'll buy you two minutes.
	Buy me two minutes.
	Okay.
	Two minutes and then you guys host without me if I'm not ready because I might need a little more.
	Alright.
	Let's go!
	Let's go, Hopper!
	Let's go!
	We'll be right back, everybody!
	Gee, Mr. Dentist, what is this place?
	I don't know, it seems some kind of Auschwitz for toys.
	No, we're in the island of misfit toys, where all the toys who are imperfect were exiled by Santa.
	Like Hitler.
	But Alana, you don't even look like you have that serious a problem.
	Yeah, what's that asshat's problem?
	Oh, he's a squirt gun who only shoots jelly.
	He couldn't rack his brain to solve that one.
	And there's me, a b-b-b-boat that can't stay afloat.
	If you're a talking boat, you can't stay afloat.
	You're not a boat anymore, you're a shipwreck.
	Oh, I've been here for years.
	Nobody wants to play with a Charlie in the box.
	Okay, Charlie, I'm gonna give you a pro tip here.
	If it's that much of a problem, Call yourself Jack, dumbass!
	The only way they could even know your name is Charlie is if you're telling them!
	Okay, so SimpliSafe's big selling point is that it's mostly wireless and you can install it, even a dope like me, in under an hour.
	we're going to put that to the test.
	Central location.
	This is a central location.
	But there's my wife's essential oil diffuser, so I have to decide between being safe, potentially not mugged, murdered, raped in my sleeve, or the smell of nutmeg.
	Starting your system in test mode.
	This is my old badge of security.
	Well, hopefully we don't get robbed by any midgets.
	So that sound is clearly obnoxious.
	but I think that's the point.
	It took less than 40 minutes.
	Think of everything installed.
	We didn't have glass break sensors, which in one area will be useful, so we're going to order those.
	And having worked with other alarm systems that were wired into a house, this was a lot easier and certainly seems reliable.
	Everything that we've tested works.
	So simplysafe.com slash Crowder, you get $200 off right now.
	And I gotta say, I'm pretty impressed.
	Plus I have an excuse to Unplug the essential oil diffuser, which was really annoying.
	Simplistic.com.
	I hate you.
	Why are you here?
	I'm your not-gay Jared on a shelf!
	I come complimentary with every mud club setup now through Christmas!
	I'm sorry, I forgot to turn it up.
	She's side, boys.
	Cheers.
	Thank you.
	Harper. - Yeah.
	What are you doing here?
	It's the middle of the night!
	Good evening, Jared.
	I heard that you were in need of a guard dog services.
	And I would like to... Son of a... Son of a...
	Thank you.
	Bye.
	Hold on a second.
	Hold on.
	Thank you everybody, I'm back.
	Hold on.
	Do not show Sven.
	Sven computer needs to get his computer on.
	What are you doing?
	Oh!
	Oh wait, I forgot.
	I have a vitamin I have to take.
	Because everyone in here is sick.
	By the way, most supplements are- Ah crap, I'm out of water.
	Hold on.
	Jared, Sven, take control.
	I'll be over in just a second.
	Okay.
	Take control!
	take control of the live stream.
	We acknowledge some more people.
	Yeah, we'll talk about it.
	I just saw some breaking news about the House voting for the government shutdown.
	Is that actually breaking news, or is that fake news?
	No, no, that's real news.
	That's legitimate news.
	That's the first bit of legitimate news I think we've had.
	Yeah, if you want me to bring up a tweet for that.
	Yeah, that'd be good.
	If this is actually real or not.
	You want to give us a little audio there, sound guy?
	Sound guy, Edward?
	Let's see it.
	It is coming from CNBC.
	...shows more than half of Americans say President Trump's comments on the investigation have been false.
	Let's begin with our senior round's first pundit, Jeff Zellie.
	Jeff, what's the latest?
	Well, there is indeed widespread misinformation... You can bring it down a little more now.
	So, the house just passed the spending bill, so all the tiny Tims won't have to die, beep beep boop.
	Ah, the tiny Tims will live!
	They'll live another day.
	They'll live to see another day, tiny Tims.
	Beep beep boop, right?
	Yeah.
	That was a translation, a rough translation.
	You know?
	It's unfortunate only because that was a great line they had there.
	And I too am surprised they made it past the CNN executive filters.
	But... What do we have now?
	Still back on Trump surprises in Afghanistan.
	Breaking news.
	Wait!
	I don't know if that's real or not either.
	Did some actual news happen?
	Some actual news... You know what?
	I think this deserves a bell.
	What happened?
	A little celebratory bell.
	They announced that the Owls passed a bill saving the Tiny Tims from the government shutdown.
	All the Tiny Tims!
	Do you mean... Now they're back on the Russia investigation.
	Poll.
	CNN poll.
	I'm walking in, 56% distrust Trump's handling of the Russia probe.
	Yeah, send computer.
	Fill me in.
	Talking about a poll... I can't hear you.
	Talking about a poll, beep beep boop.
	We have the results for the should we pay the fourth girl poll and initially it was 85-15% but then all the shills came in and now it's only 78% that say we shouldn't pay the fourth girl.
	Pay the fourth girl.
	Okay.
	Alright.
	So the consensus is pay for three.
	But they were going to do four songs and only did three.
	I don't care about the songs.
	I just care about the people.
	I don't want to screw any songs.
	I just want to screw the person.
	Yeah.
	Exactly.
	Hard.
	Hold on a second, Penn's just arrived.
	Okay, hold on a second here.
	And they're talking about Penn's making a trip to Afghanistan.
	So, I want to make sure.
	They passed the bill that we're talking about, the Republicans who wanted to avert it to January 19th.
	Is that what we're talking about?
	19th or 15th?
	Is it 15th?
	It's January 19th.
	So that's the bill we're talking about?
	So the one that the Republicans suggested?
	Yep.
	So the one that they said the Republicans wanted to kill all the Tiny Tims?
	Yeah.
	But the bill that just got passed is the one that Republicans suggested, right?
	Correct?
	It appears to be the case, BB, but we're on a CNN news cycle, so we wouldn't really know, BB.
	Alright, do you see, do you see the issue here?
	Now here's the deal.
	If you, and right now, when I come in, I was gone for, how long was I gone for?
	Three minutes?
	Yeah, three minutes.
	Three minutes, and it came through, they, they, like we said in the hit list, nine million tiny Tims have to die.
	Talked about how, sorry, pardon me, they didn't mention it, I'm sorry, listen, there's no, there's no mic, mute button, I just drank a portion of milk and I have a banana here.
	I'm going to be eating on the microphone.
	I was gone for three minutes.
	And the Republican bill that we've been telling you about all day.
	They had buffer on either side of that for the minutes, by the way.
	Oh, yeah.
	So it was basically 30 seconds.
	Yeah, 30 seconds.
	So three minutes, I'm gone, which just tells you I have horrible timing.
	Three minutes, I'm gone.
	And you have 45 seconds only.
	Were they letting you know about the bill we've been telling you all day?
	Why do they have to let you know?
	Because it passed.
	It made it through.
	The reason Tiny Tim's 9 million aren't going to die is because of something Republicans suggested.
	And the Democrats finally went along with it.
	CNN covered evil Republicans wanting them to die all day, 40 seconds to the fact that it's now happening because of Republicans.
	Yeah, what are you?
	Oh, are you, uh...
	Yeah, that's right, that's right, that's right.
	If I'm trying to remember, this is the one, they cut off, as a matter of fact, as he was trying to communicate it, they cut off Senator Rick Santorum, remember?
	Remember they had that broad, they had Pam, and then they had shrinking Kandi Crowley?
	Which really isn't saying much, just was smaller than Kandi Crowley.
	Basically anyone who's not Kandi Crowley.
	But the point is, now why do I despise Kandi Crowley so much?
	Because she almost single-handedly lost Mitt Romney the election with her bias at the debate.
	Remember?
	It was way worse than anything Megyn Kelly did with Donald Trump.
	We had her on, didn't we?
	Megyn Kelly?
	No.
	Crowley.
	No, we never had Crowley.
	No, Monica Crowley.
	Monica Crowley.
	No, no, no.
	I mixed the two up a little bit.
	No, why would you mix it?
	I was thinking like, she's so nice.
	He hasn't been understanding my jokes all day.
	Monica Crowley is lovely.
	She's very pretty.
	Candy Crowley is a monster.
	I'm going to retroactively ingest those jokes, because I'm sure they're clever.
	Sven, get an overlay of Candy Crowley ready, so that we can show Tiny Not Gay Jared what it is.
	And I'm going to eat my banana here.
	So, oh gosh, it's your favorite.
	I'm going to eat this banana.
	So, Jared, take the reins here hosting for a little bit.
	Just please, please don't discard that banana peel in the wrong place.
	It could be a hate crime in at least 48 states.
	I do not want a camera on me while eating a banana.
	I don't need the photoshops.
	Okay, let's be honest.
	I kind of want the photoshops.
	Alright.
	I'm giving you a layup, guys!
	Merry Christmas, you filthy animals.
	Okay, Sven Computer, what's going on?
	We wanted to see Candy Crowley, right?
	Yes, yes, yes.
	Oh, F. Yeah.
	Did you see how I said the lady kind of looked like Candy Crowley?
	Do you see what I meant?
	At first I thought Candy Crowley, you know, got on a, got started counting points.
	That's what I thought.
	Can you see how they look alike?
	Yeah, looks like she's got a Fitbit or something.
	I got it for my sleep.
	I actually got an Apple Watch because I'm a battered wife.
	I have to get the Apple Watch.
	Hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.
	Listen, guys.
	Oh, let me finish my banana.
	But, um, Notgate Jared, you tell- Hey, Sven Computer.
	You plug Mug Club here, okay?
	Because your job depends on it, and so does your work visa.
	You take one minute and make sure that we can hear you, Sven Computer.
	He's a computer intern for people who don't know.
	He deserves to be abused.
	And we brought him over from Germany, and we pay him more than a living wage.
	But why do computers need visas?
	Beep beep boop.
	Well, in this case, I don't know, Sven!
	You tell me!
	But you plug MugClub here while I finish my banana so that people know that you were hired because more people joined MugClub.
	Yeah, so, guys, if you want to have a job here, then you need to continue promoting the show and then...
	being Muck Club members, because then we can bring in more German people, beep, beep, and we can start a takeover and turn this into a horrible Nazi show.
	Beep, beep, boop.
	Before you think everyone else is joking.
	The fourth killer will be thrilled.
	Anything else, Fen?
	Uh, no.
	No, thanks.
	No, nothing.
	Beep beep.
	Nothing else at all?
	Hook us up with the prices.
	Where do you find this mug club?
	Well, you can go to ladderwithcrowder.com slash mug club and if you are any student, if you're a student of life, you can sign up.
	Beep beep.
	And get a discount.
	A big discount.
	Today.
	It's only $69.
	Today.
	Usually we verify students, but today, it's Christmas!
	And you get a muck that's like $200,000 per muck, so it's a good deal.
	It is!
	It's like a Clint Howard snow globe.
	Yeah.
	Beep, beep.
	Well, thank you, Sven.
	Peter, appreciate that little plug.
	Well, here's a... Well, hold on a second, by the way, guys, just so you know, I want to make sure you see this.
	And there's no magazine in there.
	Just so people get... Obviously we knew before we put these guns on display, right?
	But people are tuning in now.
	Okay, just making sure you know.
	Nothing in here.
	I don't know how well we can see this.
	Can we, um... Let's see if we can turn this up.
	And I want to go back to your story, Sven.
	Because right now they're just talking about Nunez and Mueller.
	45 seconds devoted to the fact they said Tiny Tims were not going to die.
	Alright, here you go.
	Yeah, let's bring a close-up action here.
	So, like I said, let me, uh, bring a close-up action.
	Let me take out my Walther for my chastity belt.
	Now, why am I so excited?
	Walther is now sponsored a lot with Crowder, okay?
	Right.
	I know where I'm looking.
	Okay, nothing in here in the magazine.
	Okay, I'm just making sure you know there is no magazine in this gun.
	Alright, clear it, clear it, clear it, clear it.
	See it, see it.
	Can you see?
	Boom.
	Okay, good.
	Making sure you see it.
	I know because everyone's gonna give me... No magazine in this gun.
	And it's clear.
	Okay.
	So, these are, people say if you're going to get one gun, Walter is a sponsor, we can also, German company, we say Walter, Sven, right, in German, Sven Computer.
	If you're going to get one gun, one gun, I know, one gun, no, but I'm, oh, that's right, I'm showing it right here.
	One gun, I recommend the Walter PPS.
	Now, they're a sponsor of the show, why should you support them?
	We don't get sponsors to the show who aren't the best.
	Here's the truth, we've had other firearms companies come to us to offer to sponsor the show.
	But we didn't use their firearms.
	We didn't like their firearms.
	A couple of them were pretty limited in the firearms that they actually offered.
	Now, what do I believe in firearms?
	I'm a big revolver guy, you know that.
	And then, if you're gonna get a semi-automatic, get one that is ultra-reliable, ultra-simple, lifetime guarantee, and I'm a big believer if you're not a gun enthusiast, a 9mm.
	Right?
	And why?
	Because typically... 40 is going out because a 9mm with the ballistics, it's every bit as effective.
	It's cheap, it's plentiful, and it's pretty easy for most people to shoot.
	So if you're gonna get one gun, the reason you support Walther is not because they support the show, but that's... but they're also the best.
	So, we sit and we create all these ad campaigns, like SimplySafe, PrepareWithCredit.com.
	Walther was really easy.
	Try the Walther.
	If you're gonna buy a firearm this Christmas, just go and try the Walther.
	Go to a range, try your Glocks, try your Smith & Wessons, try your Rugers.
	Just ask to try the Walther.
	Yeah, they support the show, and they're more than happy to.
	They're not afraid of the content, but their firearms are better.
	If you get one gun, this is what I recommend.
	The PPS.
	Why?
	The PPS is a single-stack 9.
	You can see it's actually, I believe, the thinnest single-stack 9mm in existence.
	This one has a laser, okay, so you can see.
	I don't know, I'm trying to aim it, so there you go, you can see.
	Has a laser, so removes the guesswork, right?
	Laser, boom, defend yourself.
	You can have a 6-round magazine, so 7 rounds, 8 rounds, or 9 rounds.
	So if you're only going to have one firearm, something that you can carry, and also switch to a bigger magazine to carry 9 rounds is what I recommend, the Walther PPS.
	Yeah, the limited edition comes with six, seven, and eight rounds, so you can have seven, eight, or nine rounds, okay?
	This is what is going back, hold on a second, in my Walt of Chastity belt right now, from Nate Squared Holsters.
	We're gonna get a custom holster actually made for the show.
	Great company, but they're not a sponsor of the show yet, but they are a great company.
	So this, again, cleared just for people who are tuning in.
	This is the Walther PPQ.
	Now, why am I showing you this?
	These are their two main guns.
	This is their full size.
	That means two stack, two stack of nine, two rows effectively of nine millimeter rounds going to this magazine.
	This is, I think, 15?
	Capacity?
	14 or 15 plus one?
	So either 15 or 16 rounds.
	This is the most amazing gun that I've ever shot, as far as not like a custom-made 1911, to shoot accurately.
	Go try it.
	It is my gun.
	It is the gun I use.
	I have several guns, but it's one of my nightstand guns.
	Oh, what are you saying?
	I'm looking somewhere else?
	Oh, that's what you use, too.
	Yeah, after I told you.
	You were like, eh, I like the Glock.
	I was like, just try the Walther.
	That's why I said, just try the Walther.
	That's how we came up with the idea.
	I said, Jared, Jared, just try the Walther.
	It's the best firearm out there.
	We're not listen.
	They're actually not expecting us to plug them this show But if you're looking I know Christmas season right now a lot of people looking at buying firearms I highly recommend the Walther's this thing is out-of-the-box Silly accurate to shoot and we couldn't be more ecstatic when we did the gun video first time gun owners That guy went to the range for the first time.
	It was Walter was not a sponsor of the show This is a very recent thing.
	It's going into 2018.
	It just was the best gun.
	It's like it's like It's a product that you're a fan of for a long time, and then you find out that your views are aligned and they're willing to sponsor the show.
	It's as good as a partnership can be, and it's a great feeling.
	So, that's all.
	I'm just giving this plug to the sponsor because there's nothing that they're talking about here.
	Oh, breaking news!
	House Republicans secretly probe Justice Department.
	No, that's not breaking news.
	That's not breaking news.
	There's nothing new.
	Here's another one.
	CNN.
	Not CNN, sorry.
	The opposite of that.
	Majority of Democrats just voted against giving disaster aid to those affected by hurricanes and wildfires.
	251 to 169, it passed an $81 billion disaster aid for hurricane and wildfire relief.
	Now here's a question to you, right?
	All right, you can lower those lights.
	Sorry, now that we're, uh, look at this.
	Now I look like I'm trying to do a Burt Reynolds spread.
	Here's why this matters, because they'll say, well, what about Republicans who voted to reduce hurricane relief in some points?
	Well, listen, the overall premise of conservatism is not to spend other people's money, right?
	The overall premise of liberalism, of progressivism, is that the government is a centralized power.
	That's why They have the death tax, because it's the government's anyway.
	It's not yours.
	It's not between you and God.
	It's between you and the government, and they have the right to take everything.
	You're lucky to have any of it.
	So, the Democrats have no problem spending.
	So when they accuse Republicans or conservatives of Ted Cruz of disaster relief, saying, why are you not wanting to help these people from these disaster relief?
	Usually it's because these bills come with crazy earmarks, right?
	And it's the spending that conservatives have a problem with.
	The spending on other frivolities.
	Often it has nothing to do with disaster relief.
	Now here's the thing.
	Democrats, leftists, don't have a problem with that anyway.
	They want that.
	They want as much of your money, as much spending as humanly possible.
	So there is no reasonable, there's no reasonable actual, there's no, my brain is mushy, there's no reason, there's no valid reason Democrats can give to not vote for 81 billion in disaster relief.
	This is something that would be straight down center plate.
	They vote to spend on anything, including forcing Hobby Lobby to get you the morning after pill.
	And they just voted against disaster relief.
	And this actually is breaking.
	Can we bring up that overlay, Sven?
	No, we are going to have guests.
	Oh, we have, uh, is that Iceman?
	Uh-huh.
	All right, listen, we have our next guest.
	Let's get our card out here on Twitter.
	Uh, favorite of the show, we bumped him last week.
	I felt bad, or two weeks ago, because something happened, and so we're like, we're gonna get you a... He was sick, too.
	What?
	He was sick, too.
	He was sick, that's right.
	Hold on one second.
	Before you bring him on, let me put the Walter back, because we have to keep this on display.
	So that's all!
	Our advertising campaign is very simple, okay?
	It's just... Try the Walter.
	Deadass, though.
	Uh-huh.
	Oh, please.
	I'm gonna keep this going for a while.
	Deadass.
	Branded ass.
	Alright, there's the old PPK.
	I'll bring it out.
	I'll say it's not a favorite of mine, but it's an iconic gun.
	So, alright, we have up next, I believe he's with us, Matt Isman, winner of Celebrity Apprentice, host of American Ninja Warrior, also a bunch of- I'm not hearing you!
	You can't hear me yet?
	Can Matt Isman not hear me?
	Hold on one second, let's make sure we double check this.
	Can you hear me now?
	I can hear you.
	Wait, is that a Walter in your pants or are you just happy to see me?
	A little bit of both.
	Listen, it's a Walter in my pants, but it's aiming at you because I'm happy to see you.
	They're a sponsor of the show!
	You're Buzz Lightyear in a pair of glasses.
	By the way, James Bond carried a Walther PPK, so... He did.
	Endorsed by the MI... or whatever he was.
	00.
	The 00 group.
	You just pulled a Trump and tossed yourself into a corner.
	Are you guys dressed like pajama boy from Obamacare?
	It was like a Jeff Bloom 180.
	Fact check your – well, I don't know.
	By the way, are you guys dressed like Pajama Boy from Obamacare?
	See?
	Or is this just for the marathon?
	That's what I was – well, because I got waterboarded on this last year, and so we figured we had to do it now.
	And I'd rather be waterboarded.
	You know what?
	I'm sorry, I have to do this with every single guest.
	Can I give you the... By the way, Sven, let's add to the hit list the fact that they only gave 45 seconds to when the bill passed.
	Alright, I'm going to give you... You know we've been watching CNN all day.
	We're doing the full 16-hour clock because it's the only way to expose their bias to actually show, unedited, all day how their news works.
	I'm going to give you a really quick hit list, okay?
	Of what we've seen today.
	Right away, CNN, the Russia hysteria, the idea that Trump's going to fire Mueller.
	Of course, he said he wasn't going to fire Mueller.
	They only announced that later today when, in fact, they said that last night.
	Adam Schiff was on and he, nine months ago, said he had evidence on the Mueller probe.
	Nothing.
	No evidence.
	He came back on.
	They have him on as a talking point.
	No mention, not once, of Uranium One.
	They said the chip program, 9 million tiny Tims were going to die.
	They actually used the word because of Republicans, 9 million tiny Tims would die.
	Here's the thing, turns out that's not true, and now the extension actually has been put into action until January 19th.
	No mention of the Melbourne attacker still, that he was Afghani, Saeed Nouri.
	They've never mentioned that at all.
	They just said some guy ran a van into some holiday shoppers, not Christmas shoppers.
	No wait, let's make sure we blame the van.
	Yes!
	Well, they needed better van control in Australia.
	You know that Walter PPK is not nearly as dangerous as a Chevy passenger van.
	I know!
	That's what I was saying.
	Can you believe we give 14 year old girls the ability to, not 14 year olds, but 16 year old girls, they're texting and you've given them a Tahoe?
	Yeah.
	The keys are by the front door, literally on the way to murder.
	It really is.
	My neighbor, when he was 14, he crashed a van into a ditch.
	He only injured himself, but I know no one who's injured themselves with a Walther PP.
	What do you have, the PPN?
	This is the PPS and that's the PPQ.
	The PPK is kind of their classic model.
	- You sound like the German computer now. - Yes, you sound like Sven Kvot.
	But he's a good little intern.
	Of course they've been talking about Israel.
	They've been saying breaking news all day for the 128 to 9 vote from the UN, the resolution to just say Donald Trump sucks because he's recognizing Jerusalem as the capital of Israel, which it is.
	Then they said breaking news, breaking news, Bannon doesn't like Bush 43.
	Of course he said that in October.
	They actually said breaking news.
	And then finally, when actually the government shut down, because they were talking about it all day, 9 million tiny Tims will die.
	They had panel after panel after panel after panel after guest after guest after guest, and we were talking about how Republicans put forward a bill to basically stop a government shutdown to January 19th.
	Democrats just had to vote for it.
	It finally happened, and they gave it 45 seconds.
	I actually went for a pee break.
	I came back, and the coverage of it was over, when that was their entire day's coverage.
	So that's the hit list.
	It's I mean it's sad that you we you're just acknowledging what I think we are all realizing is that there isn't news it's newsertainment where it's we're pandering to what people want to see and and it's so hard to find authentic Facts!
	Without doing the research on your own.
	And it's so disappointing to feel like, whether it's Fox or particularly MSNBC and CNN, which presents itself as the voice of the people, and you see the bias.
	Or in late-night television.
	I thought, you know, Owen Benjamin is a friend of mine and I'm so glad he's found a home with you.
	But like he tweeted out, look at the diversity of late-night television.
	Right.
	They all vote the same way.
	They all hold the same political beliefs.
	And so, it's sad when you realize that there isn't the diversity we expect.
	No, there isn't!
	Well, did you hear the story just now?
	We had carolers come in.
	I don't know if you've been watching.
	They couldn't sing Christmas carols!
	No, no!
	They have to sing holiday carols!
	No, no, no, no, no!
	It's worse!
	We don't acknowledge Christmas!
	It's worse!
	It was a surprise to me.
	I didn't know about this.
	Three carolers came in.
	Turns out there was a fourth caroler in the green room who almost, like, she figuratively, like, melted, locked herself in my green room so no one could get in and said, I didn't realize this was for Steven Crowder!
	I can't do this!
	Like, I'm a monster, and refused to come in and sing the carols.
	And I didn't know.
	I was like, why can't you sing Carol of the Bells?
	That's the one I like.
	It got really awkward for a minute.
	And they got really awkward for a minute because one of them refused to sing.
	So she's saying she wouldn't bake a cake.
	There's someone she didn't agree with.
	That's exactly what we said.
	Here's the thing.
	She has every right not to, but the Twitter poll says, I don't have to pay.
	I'm prorating.
	It's a quartet.
	I'm prorating for three.
	I think that's reasonable.
	Yeah.
	I think we do have this right to refuse service, but it's the hypocrisy of it when it gets reversed.
	And particularly with someone like you, who really You are not controversial!
	You're a comedian who is... By the way, did you survive the Twitter purge?
	I think...
	On December 18th, right?
	Aren't you?
	No, I don't know.
	I'm fine.
	Are you incredibly alt-right?
	Yeah, exactly.
	That's what you would think, right?
	Dangerous?
	You and Milo gonna lose the blue checks?
	Well, Milo did, but I mean, it's just so, it's like, we do, like, Darren was the one, you know, he booked you on the show.
	Darren was Pops Crowder.
	He's the booker for the show because, lo and behold, we had a booker who used to be on one of the bigger shows.
	Refuse to book this show.
	She was hired, took a check for a month, never booked the show.
	So we're like, Darren, could you do this?
	You're basically booking the guests.
	He said, yeah, sure.
	I can do it.
	And it's great.
	I get to have my dad working for me to help produce the show.
	And he was the best person for the job.
	But I was going to say something before that.
	What were we talking about?
	Something about booking.
	I don't know.
	Well, carolers are just the... I don't remember.
	The pizza thing.
	The inequality, the Twitter purge.
	Oh, the Twitter purge.
	Yeah, we're talking about the Twitter thing.
	The change my mind deal.
	Like, Darren said, go in, see if you disagree with him.
	Do you know, what do you know about the show?
	He said, like, her diaphragm.
	I was like, I just can't do it.
	And then he was like, go in.
	You can go in and tell him what you don't, and he'll actually sit down with you.
	I bet you he'd like to have you sit down.
	She locked herself in my green room, which, by the way, has a revolver on display in the room.
	A classic revolver.
	I was like, she must have been, it must have been like Rambo back in NOM.
	She's like, ahhhh!
	How often do they do what you're doing, where you're sitting down here saying, I don't always agree with CNN, but I will give them the chance to sit here for 16 hours and acknowledge if they If they were to change your mind or at least to be open to it and that's what's so frustrating is someone who makes a living with words or to see someone like Owen Benjamin
	Who expresses opinions and rather than saying, let's discuss this, let me hear your point of view, it is censored, it is you are immediately toxic, where there's trial without jury and you're immediately considered this Nazi right winger.
	And it's so unfortunate, I think, to live in an era where We have such avenues of free speech, but nobody's engaging in them.
	Rather, it's simply echo chambers.
	Yeah, I mean, we could communicate more than ever, right?
	That was the idea of the internet.
	You know, you can surf the tube or play Mortal Kombat with a friend in Vietnam.
	And instead, people just refuse to engage at all.
	And it's not because of conservatives.
	I hate to say it.
	I know people, why are you saying left?
	It is left-right.
	Listen, I would never go in and be like, I won't perform stand-up if I found out there was a liberal there.
	And if the person said, hey, you're allowed to go in and tell this person and, you know, have a conversation.
	Particularly if it were like, let's say a Dave Rubin, or let's say, I don't know, Christine Hoff Summers, or let's even say someone even like a Van Jones.
	Van Jones, I'd disagree with him on that.
	I would go in and I'd talk with him about it.
	And only the left freaks out.
	They freak out.
	This caroler freaked out.
	You'd have a conversation with Cenk if he allowed it.
	I wanted to have a conversation with Cenk for years, and since he didn't, that's when I crashed the Cenk panel as Cenk.
	You know I felt bad about it.
	Here's one of the things I think is a big difference, again, we talked about before, between liberals and conservatives.
	I assume when I talk to people, strangers, when I go into businesses, I assume they're probably left-leaning.
	I assume that's the default position of most non-politically engaged Americans.
	And then you realize that people like this, they don't see the spectrum.
	They just see normal content, normal venues to perform in, and right-wing Nazis.
	Yeah, that's YouTube.
	It's normal and right-wing Nazis.
	That's it.
	They go, normal, Tranny makeup tutorials, normal, vote Hillary Clinton, YouTube, we are the world, normal.
	What are you doing?
	I'm stretching.
	Oh, you're stretching, okay.
	You look like the Burger Meister Meister Burger when he's in the wheelchair.
	You know, the other thing that bothers me too is to say, say I'm more conservative in some of my positions.
	That's not to say I don't believe in gay marriage or believe in rights for people or charity where people say, you know, again, as someone who was in health care before, To say I believe in people having health care.
	I just believe that the free market is a better system of providing it.
	So when I say I may be opposed to the government getting involved in it, it's not as though I'm saying I want people to die or tiny Tim's to go away.
	I'm saying I just think that the free market is a more efficient way of doing it than the government.
	Certain things the government should do, like having the army protecting us, providing some infrastructure.
	Right.
	But I'm more and more convinced of the merit of the free marketing.
	And what I don't like is, particularly when you look at something like Twitter, which I'm not going to argue it's a public utility, but to say like, your existence is supposed to be predicated on the exchange of ideas.
	And when you censor people or shadow ban people, I think it does it a disservice because you're not really engaging in the thoughtful exchange of ideas.
	And I think you lose the credibility.
	And when you see this clear bias towards views of a certain sort, you feel as though it's being abused.
	This idea of the free speech, which I just dislike.
	Yeah, I don't understand it at all.
	Matt, where are you?
	Do you have a driver today, or did you pull aside and get in a passenger seat?
	Are you riding a bitch?
	My girlfriend is in the dentist.
	Because last time I was trying with the steering wheel, I have the phone on the dashboard.
	But unfortunately, I look like powder.
	This lockdown is just terrible.
	I remember that movie.
	That was a terrible film.
	It was.
	But I'm glad for the reference.
	Sven Computer's leaving.
	Are you going to the restroom as Sven Computer?
	All right, Spend Computer's going to the restroom.
	Apparently he's been offended.
	Hey, you know what?
	Let me ask you this, Matt.
	He goes for updates.
	Let's say he goes for updates.
	You show up, and you're doing stand-up, and it turns out that you are doing stand-up, and let's say it's a private party, and it turns out the guy who's running the private party is a real liberal.
	He's really liberal.
	You've already agreed?
	You've already signed the contract?
	Do you do it?
	Of course!
	I'm okay!
	I'm just saying, it's Joyful, it's not even a question, okay?
	So it's not just me.
	No, I'm not, no, no, no, I like, I have no problem where, first of all, my comedy's not political.
	Right, of course.
	I've chosen to, you know, talk about myself, Goofy, whatever, but...
	Hold on one second, pause!
	Breaking news, breaking news, breaking news!
	CNN poll, 56% distrust Trump's handling of Russia probe.
	Okay, sorry, breaking news.
	I didn't want us to miss that.
	Matt, go ahead.
	It's so amazing when they have these, I was watching it last night on the show, saying that, you know, 77% of women have reported being sexually abused at work.
	And I'm not disagreeing with it, and I'm not disagreeing that what's going on right now, this purge, this outing of inappropriate behavior is good.
	But you also start to question some of these studies, or the wage gap, where you feel women make 77 cents on the dollar, and you've seen it discredited.
	You start to wonder about some of these statistics that people cherry-pick, and so often there are no sources cited on it.
	Well, like CNN.
	Right now they're breaking news.
	You know what their breaking news is?
	CNN poll.
	I mean, they probably threw a poll up on their Facebook page.
	And we know, you know, where you're the phrasing of a question can can can absolutely manipulate the outcome.
	Like, do you think President Trump, who's been so irresponsible or who, you know, got peed on in a Russian hotel, how do you think he's handling it?
	And you're like, well, clearly, you know, these questions can be guided.
	I think it's incredibly difficult to phrase something in a truly neutral fashion or simply to ask someone just a question of how do you feel President Trump is handling Russia?
	And I don't feel that when you look at, when you really get into these polls, I think a lot of times the biases of the people polling are revealed.
	Well, you know what?
	I would probably say I think he hasn't handled the Russia probe well just because he's been going off half-cocked on Twitter.
	Now, he's mostly, this administration has mostly been vindicated when it comes to their direct interaction or any kind of collusion.
	There's not a scrap of evidence.
	They questioned, I think, McCabe yesterday for seven and a half hours.
	They're like, no, there is no evidence of the Trump dossier.
	Nothing.
	Nothing that the FBI confirmed, right?
	But if they were to ask me, I'd be like, yeah, I don't think Donald Trump's handling it well because he needs to shut up.
	He just needs to shut up and let the truth come out.
	Because the truth is helping him.
	He's not.
	So even I would be in that 56.
	The misdirect of, did he handle it well?
	No.
	Has he done anything illegal?
	You know, the implication and sort of where they conflate the two of, we don't think he's handling it well, therefore he should be impeached, is the natural conclusion.
	Where do you go for news, Matt?
	Because we were talking about this.
	I think the same thing would obviously happen with Fox.
	I don't go to the news.
	I tend to go online.
	For me, it's finding a mix of people.
	I'll follow guys like Brian Stelter or Jake Tapper.
	Me too.
	I like to hear different points of view.
	I think Tapper is a guy who tries to get it right.
	He's a wiener.
	He got mad at us because we did a meme that included him.
	I was like, it's a meme, you wiener.
	It usually has a good sense of humor, but I try to follow a variety of people and hear the different takes on a type of story and then try to do some research and draw my own conclusions.
	But honestly, you know, again, I've said this, I was talking to your pops, and I'm like, one of the things that shocks me is as I listen to, you know, occasionally listen to the Young Turks, it's, Cenk is very hard, but you listen to it and you feel biases revealed.
	And one of the things I appreciate is with louder with Crowder is you're very open about your points of view and you're very open to being challenged and that's another thing when i look at joe rogan i always appreciate joe ironically for this guy who's seen as kind of the meathead
	um you know bow and arrow provider guy that he's a guy who i think is willing to have his ideas changed and challenged and to bring people in who disagrees with and rather than attack them say it's more that thing of like you do which is great is change my mind Yeah, I don't know.
	It's one of those things.
	We sat down.
	I said, I don't know.
	Is it me?
	I said, you know, maybe I'm wrong.
	Let's just sit down and have someone change their mind.
	This is how it came about.
	It was at a pitch meeting.
	I said, but I don't want, you know, I can't have Sally Cohn come on and change my mind.
	I can't have Christopher Titus come on and change my mind.
	But just some, like, I don't know, some liberal on campus.
	I just wonder if there's something I've missed.
	And then I said, you know what?
	Let's do that.
	Let's just go on there and actually listen.
	And then they have a segment that has millions... It's the opposite of cable news.
	It's unlimited time, unedited.
	I think people are craving that.
	And I think it's because of today.
	I mean, look how dishonest this is.
	At the very least, you know where people stand with those segments.
	I think that's what people are craving now.
	I watched an episode of Sarah Silverman's I Love You America, which I thought was a similar premise to Change My Mind.
	But when I watched it, I felt like Um, you know, she chose a family of Trump supporters who were, I thought, probably, you know, exaggerated caricatures.
	And there was always kind of a wink at the camera of, aren't these people idiots?
	Even though it's open and I'm like, Sarah, I thought she missed to do a genuine show where she really went into somebody who's, who's semi-informed, you know, where, You don't want to choose, you want to choose someone like on a college campus or someone who theoretically would have some informational backing because it's so easy to cherry pick and find someone who says, I don't like gun control, but they're not going to have statistics to back it up and you can embarrass them.
	But to have someone come on who's like, all right, I want someone who's relatively informed and let's have an honest discussion.
	And, and I think to me, that's so much more productive to have two people respectfully disagree.
	Here's the thing, it's productive if the people are willing to have an honest conversation.
	If they don't, it's productive for the person watching.
	So a good example, we've had several different change my mind.
	So the first one was just me talking with college kids and one of them changed their mind.
	And then one, when she realized she didn't have a leg to stand on, said, I'm trans disabled.
	And I noticed that's a big thing that changed my mind.
	The second, they think, oh wait, maybe I'm not making my points very well.
	Well, as a woman who could be raped, or as a trans-disabled, or as, you know, a quadriplegic black Jew with rickets, whatever it is, you know, they just pick something.
	They're the most, you know, oppressed class du jour.
	We've noticed that with every single change of my mind.
	But then, there were some, for example, there was an hour change of my mind with pro-life, and I realized the lady was fine with abortion up until nine months.
	And so you realize sometimes it's futile.
	And that was more productive for the audience, because even though it was cringe-worthy, and you're like, why isn't, why is this going nowhere?
	Because sometimes it's okay to say, you know what, we're not gonna find common ground if you're okay with abortion up to nine months.
	And then the next ones were, some people came up and threatened me, some people, you get both, and you have to accept that going in.
	But if you don't have honesty in your approach, I don't know, to me, it's just valueless.
	And watching CNN today, I mean, I tell you, Matt, I'd much rather be waterboarded Again, than doing 16 hours of CNN.
	This is really painful because I'm getting mad.
	And I don't want to be mad all day, but they're just, nothing is honest.
	It's something, and I go back to Owen Benjamin.
	I really think he's a thoughtful guy who, some people are like he's going off the deep edge, but I love the honesty.
	And one of the things he said was, I'm always willing to have a discussion with someone if I feel we have shared values.
	So if the idea is we ultimately want people in America to be healthier, we may just disagree about whether the government should do it or private enterprise should do it.
	We can have that discussion to have a discussion with someone about, you know, the value of life and when abortion can go.
	If you truly believe they they they share the same value, you.
	You can have a discussion and an honest disagreement.
	If you feel in the end, we kind of want the same things, like, you know, a healthier populace, a safer life, and we just disagree about how to get there, you feel like, are you going for the gun there or something else?
	No, I was moving it because I realized it had ridden up in a weird way and it looked like an uptuck.
	It's one of those things where I'm like, I'm always happy to discuss with someone I disagree with someone.
	Where, you know, you say, but I, but I believe that we both want the best for this country.
	I don't think we do anymore though, Matt.
	I don't think we do anymore.
	And that's when, and that was one of the points that Owen makes is that's what's scary is when you see people, when you feel like we don't have that common goal, that's when I think it gets scary because then it becomes intractable.
	It used to be every debate.
	If you used to be like Dawkins, Dinesh D'Souza, Christopher Hitchens, whoever it was, they would say, I disagree with you, but I'll fight to the death for your right to say it.
	Now it's just like, you can't say this because I don't like it.
	And so I think that's the big thing with Change My Mind.
	It's not about finding common ground.
	It's about finding truth.
	And the truth is, a lot of people don't really want the same things anymore.
	But Matt, we do have to get going.
	Where's the best place for people to find you?
	You've got to be in some Hallmark Christmas movies or something, right?
	Is it Hallmark Channel?
	I just got let go from the Hallmark Channel.
	Dammit, I'm sorry.
	There's a caroling job open for you.
	show but it was a great run it's all it's there's a caroling job open for you the american ninja warrior experience is our next thing we're actually going to be touring live go to anw experience.com or find me on twitter at matt eisman instagram and matt eisman facebook matt eisman or find me watching you guys and trolling not gay jared i'm such a horrible human It was the cross eyes.
	It was last time.
	I was like, Hey Matt, are you getting some sun in your eye?
	And you're like, no, I actually have a problem with my eye.
	And I was like, oh damn.
	And then this, I'm like Hallmark.
	And you're like, I just got fired.
	Honestly, you know what?
	It's, it's one of those things though.
	Like it's free enterprise.
	You let me go.
	And it's, it's the kind of thing of, you know, why I appreciate what you've done creating your own.
	And I often talk to, I was just on with Anthony Cumia and I send out my best to Artie Lang, another guy who's like, I'm going to create my own thing that no one can take away from me because otherwise you work at the pleasure of people and particularly when you do what you do where you have an exchange of ideas that you believe in.
	It's important I think to create your own safety net because otherwise someone disagrees with you and and we see that now in this industry.
	Conservative people come out and their careers are gone.
	That's why.
	I come on this show but I'm very neutral and very It's true.
	You're very friendly and I make fun of your eyes and your previous employer.
	I'm a horrible person.
	We'll send you a free t-shirt.
	At Matt Eisman.
	We must go, sir.
	Thank you.
	Have a Merry Christmas.
	See you guys.
	Merry Christmas.
	Bye.
	Take care.
	You're right.
	I'm an awful human being.
	Remember that almost happened the first time we had Owen on.
	We didn't know who this guy was.
	If you looked on the webcam, he had this giant gaping black spot on his teeth.
	Oh, that's right with Owen.
	I'm like, is that a piece of food?
	Yeah.
	Or is he missing teeth there?
	And we finally brought it up, and he was like, oh, it's broccoli.
	Buying his time.
	Yeah.
	Hopper just, Hopper came in with a bow, and it's gone.
	And it's gone.
	It's gone.
	G. Morgan Jr.
	is here.
	I have a wine of the day, finally.
	Right?
	Is that one that people can actually open?
	Yeah, this is for you guys here.
	Y'all have had to watch CNN for so long, I figured a one liter of Caymus Cabernet... Is that good?
	It's very good.
	Yeah, the sound guy Edward over there is clapping.
	Wait, is that the one that we had in the boat?
	Uh, no.
	Dammit!
	No, that's not the one.
	Jackie, you know the wine we're talking about!
	Is that a different one?
	It's a different one, I know.
	I'm kidding.
	Is it?
	I don't know the one we're talking about.
	The one that we have in the boat.
	So you would like this one, I think.
	Okay.
	So we're gonna open this one up, hopefully, in a little while.
	I don't know if you can drink on air.
	Is that a thing?
	Yeah, we can do whatever we want on air.
	I'm kidding, I know.
	Let's bring up some CNN.
	Did you hear the... You heard the Cariller story.
	Oh, gosh.
	I heard the tail end of it.
	Okay.
	It's insane.
	Well, you heard the now note, tiny... Okay, here we go.
	John O'Brien.
	The Trump-admitted threat to retaliate against nations that exercise sovereign right to... is beyond outrageous.
	Shows real Donald Trump blindly expects loyalty and subservience from everyone.
	The qualities used found in narcissistic, vengeful autocrats.
	Here's the thing.
	I do think that Donald Trump is narcissistic and vengeful.
	Yes.
	But I don't think he is at all out of line when this is a vote at the UN simply to condemn.
	It's basically a vote to try and chastise and embarrass the United States to say, all right, we're not giving you any more money.
	Am I the only one who thinks that's entirely reasonable?
	I think it's reasonable.
	We cut their allowance a little bit and say, all right, you want to lash out at mom and dad a little bit?
	Fine, go for it.
	And this is one of those moments where I appreciate the Donald Trump that does double down.
	I don't want a Donald Trump.
	I don't want a Obama.
	Oh, I'm sorry.
	I'm sorry.
	My bad.
	My bad.
	I don't want a Donald Trump that says, you know what?
	And it has!
	It has no teeth, right?
	This has no teeth.
	There's nothing to it.
	It's the UN doing what the UN does, which is absolutely zero.
	They sit there and they talk about stuff, but they don't actually do anything.
	It's the same UN that does that.
	Yeah, they came to like, hey, we're going to vote.
	We'll give you like Tobago and Trinidad.
	We'll give you Guatemala.
	We'll give you the Micronesia.
	But everybody else is going to vote against you.
	Trump's like, yeah, all right.
	That's fine with me.
	It's just so funny, he gets a serious face on him.
	Okay, so developing now.
	German.
	Oh my gosh, Rebekah again!
	Developing now.
	UN votes 128 to 9 to condemn Trump's Jerusalem decision.
	Okay, but hold on a second.
	How can that be developing now if the tweet that you just posted from Brennan is half a day, it was like posted at two.
	So how can this be developing now if he is condemning Donald Trump's statement to the vote?
	So for that tweet to occur, there had to be the vote, Donald Trump's statement, And then, I just forgot his name.
	Andrew, is Brenner?
	Andrew, oh, he has three names.
	Andrew what?
	Brenner.
	Andrew, ah.
	I don't know that.
	I'm sorry.
	Anyway, the point is three things have had to occur, but now they're still saying developing now.
	How is this developing now?
	It's not.
	They're Chiron stuck.
	None of this is.
	They're Chiron stuck.
	I can't believe.
	Oh, my gosh.
	This is just what we have to deal with.
	Now here's the deal.
	It's a slow news cycle, right?
	Because it's Christmas.
	I love this.
	Nikki Haley's quote.
	We're gonna remember this when you ask us for money.
	As well we should!
	How is that not entirely appropriate?
	That's reasonable.
	Let's get a poll up on Twitter.
	Do you think it's reasonable for the United States to withhold funding from nations who voted to chastise us over Israel?
	Put out a poll.
	Yes, no, or choice number three, Tay is not gay Jared.
	Can you repeat?
	Do you think it's reasonable for the United States to withhold funding from UN nations who Voted to chastise the United States.
	Voted to embarrass... I mean, to me, this is a vote... It's inconsequential, right?
	The whole purpose for it is grandstanding to flip the bird to the United States.
	But they shouldn't have done it.
	They shouldn't have done it.
	You don't pick on the guy that's funding your operation.
	I know!
	We give them more money than anyone.
	Yeah.
	We allow... Look, the UN isn't what has kept us out of war for the past X number of years, having a world war, right?
	Since 1945.
	It helps, obviously, having that?
	No!
	The fact that we're dominant is what has kept us out of having a world war.
	I don't think it helps at all.
	I understand NATO, particularly post-World War II.
	Right.
	And we're talking about Poland.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Well, hold on.
	Sven Computer, you probably know the history of NATO more than I do, right?
	Because that directly involves your homeland more.
	Right?
	NATO?
	And then you talk about...
	Do you know a lot about NATO?
	I would know more about the European Union in general, but, I mean...
	B.B. B.B., it's just, like, obviously after World War II, you kind of wanted to have the world stick together.
	BB, at least the civilized part.
	Right, yeah.
	The rest of those guys we didn't really care about.
	Well explain for people who don't know the difference between like the UN and NATO.
	NATO is actually about like military, military alignment.
	Yeah, it's basically the counter form against the Warsaw Pact, BB, that the Soviet Union had with all their satellite states.
	Yeah.
	So yeah, and actually the U.S.
	was a little bit reluctant in letting in Germany into NATO because, you know, sketchy Germans.
	We love you now.
	You guys are kind of jerks.
	Yeah, but that's the thing.
	You're going to lower that over them for so long?
	Well, here's what's funny.
	Another century.
	I don't ever hear Republicans.
	I think that was one thing where Donald Trump, if I'm not mistaken, I don't think he ever did.
	But he was criticized maybe at one point for saying he wanted a pull from NATO.
	And I was going, ooh, that's really not super intelligent.
	NATO has a valid reason for existence.
	Yeah.
	We benefit the least from NATO compared to European nations.
	But I'm like, are they killing this guy?
	They're trying to.
	That was last week.
	That was last week?
	It's breaking news!
	That was last week and it's breaking news?
	Yeah.
	And this is the problem with the 24-hour news cycle.
	Here's the thing, we have to do it once, and obviously these people get prepped for one hour, and they can't even come.
	We're doing this once, a whole 16-hour cycle, to prove to you that it is complete and total bullshit.
	And also to torture ourselves.
	So that's why you need to join loudearthcrowder.com.
	The only people who are going to call them on it... You guys say, why don't you broadcast?
	You don't want us broadcasting all day.
	Because at some point we have to lie to you.
	And dilute the content.
	It's $99 annually.
	$69 for students, veterans, or active military.
	Just enter the promo code studentveteranmilitary.
	You get our show.
	You get Gavin McGinnis.
	You get Phil Robertson.
	You get Michelle Malkin.
	You get Mark Levin.
	You get...
	We're a late night show, but we don't have to be a 24-hour news cycle.
	No.
	What's crazy to me is we have a hit list.
	We'll go through it at the end when we finalize.
	Grinders.
	We're the only ones who are going to call these people on it.
	And the wonder is, we're a late night show, but we don't have to be a 24-hour news cycle.
	No.
	What's crazy to me is we have a hit list.
	We'll go through it at the end.
	When we finalize, also we'll show you the end of YouTube, Carol.
	If you have to fabricate news, you were talking about this, they always fabricate it from a leftist point of view.
	Right.
	And it amazes me that they still even try, what's offensive to me is they still even try to feign this concept of being fair-minded.
	But is it that the left, and I say this with all due respect, is it that you're so stupid that you actually buy it and only the left can get away with this?
	Or is it that that's just where the money is at from corporations and things like that, and so they have to do it to appease the kind of people that are going to fund these programs.
	It's a genuine question, because I know Foxlean's way right, obviously, right?
	Yeah.
	And he gets a lot of, like, gold sponsors and, you know, make seniors spend all their money kind of sponsors.
	Yeah, reverse mortgages.
	Because the world's going to end tomorrow.
	I get it.
	Uncirculated silver dollar.
	Uncirculated silver dollars.
	So, here we go, they're showing us again today this whole yawning lady.
	I've seen this commercial at least 50 times.
	Tylenol PM.
	Tylenol PM.
	This is unbelievable to me that this is a day of news.
	So really, we've only... This is no news either.
	I don't know that there's been a real piece of news.
	Well, the Australian attack.
	Other than that, okay.
	They haven't covered it!
	Well, no, that's what I'm saying.
	Like, there's been a piece of news that happened today, but they haven't covered it.
	Or at least accurately covered it.
	Have they covered it yet, Sven Computer?
	Fact check us.
	The vote.
	Yeah?
	Sven Computer?
	You're our fact checker.
	So what do you want, fact check?
	fact check has cnn covered since we've been watching i went to the bathroom did they cover at all the melbourne attack i don't think so i don't think so okay good i can't hear you thank you um this is like hazing it just never gets fun computer made a great point about how they're gonna try and chalk it up to mental illness but it's just so brilliant the way the guy framed it so computer make your point It had us laughing, but it's a good point.
	And by the way, people, if you want to talk, go along with the stream.
	Hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.
	As we go into prime time, we want to be a real thorn in their side.
	We have a grand finale, a slam-bang show set up for you guys.
	But you were saying this about the Afghani Muslim who committed a terror attack.
	It was a good point.
	Make it again.
	Yes.
	Beep-beep.
	So, I mean, actually, the police came out with a statement today.
	Beep-beep.
	But because His condition improved in the hospital and they talked to him and they came out and said that this guy said that he was basically talking to his toaster in his free time but also it was because Muslims are mistreated.
	So it was kind of already setting the stage for when he has to make his point in front of a court.
	I'm crazy.
	Yeah, I'm crazy, but also you mistreat Muslims.
	Yeah, exactly.
	How much do you want to bet his main motivation there was probably the mistreatment of Muslims?
	That is a brilliant strategy, though.
	The first thing I do...
	If ever I kill someone in a fit of rage, I'm eating a pile of my own crap right afterwards and throwing it across the floor.
	Let's start a Twitter poll on that.
	I'm gonna do a Tyler Durden.
	You don't know where I've been!
	So they call me and I'm like, well your honor, clearly I was out of my mind.
	It was temporary insanity.
	I'm not crazy anymore.
	I'm good.
	So we're good to go, right?
	30 days in a solarium and you're back on the streets.
	It'll look like that movie with Robert De Niro and Parkinson's.
	You put me in for a little bit, they'll give me some medication, I'll be high for a few days, and then you let me out, right?
	Yeah.
	What were you saying at Sven Computer?
	No?
	No, no?
	Yeah, we have a broad consensus on the poll we sent out regarding the U.S.
	and the nations who voted against the U.S.
	today, and 94% agree that we should withhold funding.
	Yes!
	Withhold funding.
	Okay, we all agree that we should withhold funding.
	There's still in the world.
	Oh gosh, I forgot!
	It's the, it's the, hold on a second.
	This should be Not Gay Jared's hour.
	This is the situation with Wolf Blitzer.
	Bring it up.
	Look at him run.
	I'm free!
	Well, did he get killed?
	Because it's not funny to get killed.
	No, he didn't get killed, I don't think.
	Hey, wait!
	There was no Chris Cuomo today.
	No, he's in the morning.
	We were streaming, he was not there.
	No, he was not.
	Don't tell me we had a day where we streamed and it wasn't Chris Cuomo.
	I think he missed his mark, or we missed ours, I don't know.
	Look at this.
	This was last month's escape, maybe not today's.
	Yeah.
	Left a frozen hell.
	Hey, by the way, did you notice anything?
	There?
	Maybe not today's.
	No.
	Yeah.
	Left a frozen hell.
	Hey, by the way, did you notice anything?
	There?
	No.
	There's a wall.
	It's a fence.
	It's a fence with barbed wire, but the principal's assigned it.
	Yeah, seems to work for South Korea.
	Seems to work.
	By the way, you have to.
	Like, here's the truth.
	You can't, you can only know the difference by the uniform.
	I mean, do you think South Koreans can tell the difference between North Koreans and South Koreans?
	Physically, aesthetically?
	Yeah.
	No.
	No way.
	Hey, it's confirmed.
	Last week on Morning Grinders, we had facial recognition software that could not tell Asians apart.
	Scientific evidence.
	They are genetically the same people, right?
	Because they, I mean, they just basically just put the wall in, right?
	Well, except I think North Koreans are on average like five inches shorter or something now because they're malnourished.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Bring that up.
	Hey, Sven, bring that up as a research overlay here when you can.
	I believe that, yeah, North Koreans are a significant amount shorter because of communism.
	Yeah, communism makes short, sterile men.
	That's not fake news.
	Get off your phone!
	Listen, Chief.
	I'm coordinating with people that need to be coordinated with.
	Alright, fine.
	So let's get up that overlay and then, Sven, we will do some more Mug Club announcements after that.
	We've had a lot of people joining up with Mug Club today.
	Very appreciative.
	We have some breaking news that's not being covered.
	Papa John.
	Not Papa John's.
	Papa John is one of the top trends right now.
	Oh no, did he die?
	No, I was concerned he raped somebody.
	Thank God he did not.
	But he is stepping down, apparently, from Papa John's amidst allegations from white supremacists.
	Protest true support for white supremacists.
	You're breaking the rules.
	You're supposed to only watch CNN.
	Not real news.
	It's all the news that's fit.
	But hey, I'm pointing out the things they are omissioning.
	Not covering, okay.
	Someone's got to call them on their bullshit omissions.
	That's true, okay.
	Now on Sven computer, you have the overlay?
	Is it the height?
	Yes, North Koreans, this is from BBC, North Koreans on average are up to 3.1 inch shorter.
	Gosh, damn.
	That's a Korean penis difference.
	Look at this, yeah.
	Yeah.
	Wow.
	Beep beep.
	It was a swing and a miss, I'll give you that one.
	Where are we going?
	It was a swing and a miss.
	Yeah, there you go.
	Thank you.
	We've got crotch issues here.
	It's confirmed!
	It is confirmed.
	Oh my gosh.
	This sucks to be in North Korea.
	I just find this crazy that we've gone through all this and no mention of the Muslim revenge attack in Melbourne.
	Nothing?
	So Papa John is stepping down.
	And then Sven, you can get to the new Mug Club members.
	By the way, for Mug Club members, we ring the bell.
	For people who join Mug Club, Sven will be reading out some overlays.
	Papa John's stepping down.
	Why?
	Because people were mad because of the NFL thing and all that?
	This is from The Hill.
	This is unbiased as it gets.
	It says, Papa John's CEO stepped down after remarks on NFL protests drew support from white supremacists.
	Why is that his fault?
	I wouldn't think it would be.
	Could be.
	More appropriate from Truth and Sheed.
	So Papa John Pizza is basically rearranging titles of the CEO who made racially toned comments about black NFL players protesting systemic white supremacy.
	We are still not eating their nasty pizzas.
	Funny enough, I think they have one of the best pizzas going around.
	Yeah, I know.
	For delivery?
	Uh, no, I don't think they have best of anything.
	Ah!
	Uh, Sven Computer, overlays of new Mug Club members.
	Let us know, tweet me, at S. Crowder, if you, uh, have joined the Mug Club today.
	It's frozen on that!
	Can we free- can we, uh, refresh it there?
	Uh, it's not gonna- it has to refresh the screen.
	Yeah.
	So, yeah.
	If you join Mug Club, we will ring the bell, read your name out, and by the way, every time- every time someone joins Mug Club, Muhammad is sexually accosted in hell.
	Yeah, what were you- you already- you have one?
	Yeah, we have- we have multiple ones.
	Oh!
	Okay, alright, let's read them out here, Sven.
	You have to give us the name while we get the CNN feedback.
	Ben Harrison.
	Dan Harrison, hey!
	Thank you very much.
	John Kan at Joseph Kan 16.
	There we go.
	Thank you for joining Mug Club today.
	We appreciate it.
	Kind of good gamer.
	There we go.
	Thank you very much.
	Kind of good gamer.
	Become a better gamer.
	William Trash, nice last name.
	There you go.
	Travis, I'm not even going to try to pronounce that.
	Beep beep.
	And veteran Heath also joined.
	Thank you for your service.
	I hope you use a veteran discount.
	Thank you very much.
	Emily Weber.
	Okay, Emily what?
	Viva, that's the German word for Viva.
	Is that the last one?
	Viva.
	Viva.
	Is that the last one?
	Yeah, that's the last one.
	So there we go, thank you!
	Every time you join Mug Club!
	Muhammad's having a bad day!
	It's Wednesday in hell for Muhammad.
	Do you guys know that joke?
	Yes.
	Oh, you know that joke.
	I do.
	I just don't know how to say it.
	By the way, tweet me.
	How are you guys at Sven Computer?
	Tweet me at scrowd.
	Are you guys liking Sven Computer?
	He's a research machine.
	Are you happy to have him?
	He's going to be doing some research for us in the new year.
	Show him you love him.
	At Sven Computer.
	I don't like where he's at.
	Sven, do you know the joke about Wednesday in hell?
	No.
	Hey, I can't hear you.
	Okay, so this is one of my, this is one of my, this is a joke that my...
	My dad told me, but he told me the clean version as a kid.
	I think I told you this joke, though.
	Oh, you have, for sure.
	Oh, okay, but it's not a joke, like, that you knew before.
	Uh, I don't know.
	Okay, so it's not a joke that everybody knows.
	Okay, so a guy dies, okay, and he dies and he shows up in hell.
	So here's an old man joke for ya.
	Hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.
	I want everyone out there, okay, part of the Crowder army, because people are coming home from work, a lot of people aren't aware of the livestream.
	I want everyone to hashtag CrowderCNN livestream Send out the punchline, because it's a one-phrase punchline.
	I'll give it to you, and I want you to send it out, because that's why I'll tell you about Muhammad, how it ties in afterwards.
	So be ready for the punchline.
	All of the Crowder Army out there, Crowderheads, hashtag CrowderCNNLivestream.
	So this guy dies.
	He finds himself in hell.
	Yeah.
	So he's walking through hell, and there are all of these beautiful chandeliers.
	It's like a five-star hotel he's going through.
	And he says, where am I?
	And Satan comes out.
	And he says, hey, man, how you doing?
	Welcome to hell.
	And he says, well, this is hell.
	This is not, I can't imagine this.
	This is not what I expected.
	He says, well, yeah, no, we get kind of a bad wrap up there, you know, the big guy.
	No, no, no, this is hell.
	This is what it is.
	It's not what you expect.
	He's like, why?
	I said, hey, listen, do you like food?
	Are you a foodie at all?
	And the guy goes, well, look, that's how I died of coronary.
	He's an overweight guy.
	He says, yeah, I love food.
	He goes, oh, my gosh, you're going to love Mondays.
	We have the biggest buffet that you've ever seen.
	And, of course, we also have a la carte, made to order.
	The best chefs are down here.
	Monday, it's just all day, all you can eat the best food.
	My gosh, it sounds amazing.
	He's like, yeah, you know, hell's not what you think.
	He goes, hey, by the way, do you like to gamble?
	Like, are you a gambler?
	Are you a casino guy?
	He goes, well, yeah, that's why my second wife left me.
	He goes, oh my gosh, we have the best casino.
	All of hell turns into the casino.
	Better than any Vegas casino on Tuesday.
	Drinks, girls, anything you want on the house, free all day, Tuesday.
	If you're a gambler, you're going to love Tuesdays.
	My guess is, this is really, I'm really surprised.
	He goes, hey, by the way, do you love being gang raped by angry, horrible men nonstop without mercy?
	And the man says, no, of course not.
	Satan goes, oh, you're going to hate Wednesdays.
	Muhammad hates Wednesdays.
	I wanna see that hashtag out there.
	MohammedHatesWednesdays.
	Hashtag ConnorCNLivestream.
	It's just, it's not my joke.
	It was a joke that I remember my dad told me.
	He was like, do you, he was trying, I remember, he used to tell me jokes when I was a little kid, but he told me like, hey, do you like, but he told me, hey, do you like being pickpocketed and robbed and beaten up and bullies?
	Yeah, right.
	I was like, no, he's like, you're going to hate Wednesdays.
	And I was like, that's so funny.
	There could be nothing worse than being mugged.
	Turns out there is.
	And that's what happens in Wednesdays.
	Punchline for your dad also could have been that it was Detroit all along.
	It was Detroit all along.
	That's true.
	You go to hell, you show up and they say, we're full.
	Detroit.
	Detroit.
	The overflow room.
	So that's why I was saying Muhammad's going to hate Wednesdays.
	They're down in Toledo now, by the way.
	They've overflown Detroit as well.
	Oh, really?
	It's just kind of run off everywhere.
	Oh, hold on.
	Let's bring it up.
	Wolf Blitzer.
	Down to the deadline.
	The government shut down with little time to spare.
	We're following the votes and the crucial issues left undecided as lawmakers kick the can down the road.
	Well, hold on a second.
	You also didn't tell me, Sven.
	This is the same thing.
	Yeah.
	Every single thing that's on the hit list.
	It's like every time.
	United Nations rebuke.
	And you just talked about O'Brenner or whatever his name is rebuking Donald Trump for his rebuke of the United Nations rebuke.
	Think about that.
	CNN story is Donald Trump basically rebukes Hamas by recognizing Jerusalem as a capital.
	UN votes to rebuke Donald Trump and the United States, then Donald Trump comments and rebukes them, and then Andrew Brenner rebukes Donald Trump's rebuke of the UN's rebuke, and that's been like 80% of the coverage.
	That's a bad news day.
	This is news.
	The most trusted name in news.
	Right.
	Go back to blindly collecting balls in your yard in this... James Earl Jones.
	How does this fly, by the way?
	How does this work as a concept 24-hour news?
	Wolf Blitzer can't fly.
	I think he sinks like a stone.
	I have a situation room with Wolf Blitzer.
	There's no situation today!
	None!
	You've got the buoyancy of a lead pipe.
	House votes to avoid shutdown.
	It goes to the Senate, but it looks like it'll probably be done by Friday.
	But all day they're saying 9 million tiny Tims are going to die.
	- Yeah, that's fine.
	We're good there.
	Well, no, wait to the Senate vote.
	Oh, well, whatever.
	It's gonna pass the Senate.
	It's just so silly to me that this is what people do with their day.
	I know a guy who just has Fox News on 24-7.
	Yeah.
	And then I know a guy who has to... And this is not in every airport in the country.
	I can't do it.
	I can't do it.
	Could you imagine someone stuck on a layover today?
	No, hey, your dad actually and I were talking in the green room and he's like, I think most of the numbers that CNN gets is because it's a captive audience.
	Yeah.
	In the airport, you got nowhere to go.
	Especially in the hotel room.
	In the hotel room, yeah.
	In the traffic.
	You're trying to do it like it's pure... Bells go, we ring it, and he's dead.
	Yeah, exactly.
	Yeah, that's exactly it.
	It's like, what happened to your dad?
	Was he bipolar?
	Was he depressed?
	Was he... No!
	He had a layover in Atlanta!
	And all they had was CNN!
	Wolf Blitzer!
	It was a situation room.
	It got delayed.
	Did they contractually have all... Yeah, I don't know if that counts into the ratings.
	That has to, because how do you separate it out, right?
	Well, it doesn't make any sense to me, because they're lucky to poll a few hundred thousand viewers.
	Does that count?
	I think it does.
	I think they get like 5,000 viewers, and the rest of it's airports and hotels.
	I'm gonna do a research here.
	It can't count as entire views, because I mean, people are just passing by and watching for a few seconds.
	You know what?
	It's a more captive audience.
	They estimate based on capacity.
	So it's like, I had this explained to me by a friend who ran a sports bar.
	And the reason why a lot of smaller sports bars didn't purchase the UFC issues pay-per-views early on is because it's based on capacity.
	And so, if you have a bar that's, you know, the capacity is 2,000 people, they charge you tens of thousands of dollars.
	It's expensive.
	That's why a lot of us didn't do the Floyd Mayweather fight.
	It's so expensive.
	And a lot of people just want to make enough money for it.
	Yeah, big, big letdown.
	Breaking news!
	CNN poll.
	56% says Trump comments on Russia.
	Here's what's crazy to me.
	It's clearly not an ongoing poll.
	No.
	And it's clearly not breaking news.
	No.
	Gosh, isn't he a good-looking guy, Mike Pence?
	Let's just be honest here.
	He's a... He shouldn't have dinner with women.
	Hold on a second.
	They gave one line of the speech.
	I want to hear what Mike Pence has to say.
	No.
	He's our vice president.
	Why would you?
	I so appreciate you being in this with me.
	Hashtag crowd our scene in a live stream because every time I think I'm gonna get a glimpse of news like, oh, what did Vice President Pence say in Afghanistan?
	Nothing.
	Didn't happen.
	Wolf Blitzer just opens his pie hole on it and I just, I don't, he has nothing interesting, he would have someone at a dinner party.
	We get commentary on nothing.
	Do you have any, have you ever been to a dinner party?
	Back to Russia Probe.
	Back to Russia Probe.
	But they had a really cool swish pan.
	Yeah.
	It's like P-Ray.
	Okay, the Russia investigation is... CNN poll, 61% say serious matter, 34% say effort to discredit Trump.
	It's so stupid.
	Sven Computer, does it include Nielsen?
	Does it include the CNN numbers?
	Does it include places like airports?
	If we can bring it up, because I think it's measured by the Nielsen ratings, and yes, they include TV viewing in public places.
	Ah, I knew it!
	So they do include it?
	Yes.
	So I guess airports should be included, if bars and hotels and gyms and everything is included.
	Bars, hotels, gyms, and the office.
	Yeah.
	But it doesn't say airports on there.
	Well, it doesn't specifically say airports.
	No, but it's got to be.
	So what are CNN's overall, I mean, last I checked, like Anderson, I remember Red Eye at Fox News used to beat Anderson Cooper.
	Red Eye was at 3 a.m.
	Yeah, exactly.
	And Anderson Cooper is when Anderson Cooper is 7, 8, 7 Central, 8 Eastern. 7 to 10.
	So this has got to be reruns, right, in there?
	He doesn't do three hours every night.
	Who knows?
	I think he does.
	Can't be.
	You think so?
	I think that little sprite prances out for three hours.
	I don't know what they're going to have him do tonight.
	It's a lovely day!
	I imagine by the end he's going to be singing Clang Clang Clang with the trolley and a feather boa doing his best.
	He's stuck with Papa John's.
	By the way, upon further reading of the article, Airports is confirmed.
	Oh, it is confirmed!
	Actually, it appears in the article.
	Oh my gosh.
	We gotta find out the numbers, because the airport has to scale.
	I mean, think about all the airports in the United States and the people that travel through.
	The capacity of airports is gigantic.
	The international viewership of CNN.
	Oh yeah.
	It's off the charts.
	Well, CNN doesn't make their money off... Oh, hold on.
	Okay.
	I was really just hoping to hear Mike Pence's speech!
	Oh, here we go.
	Now give us Paul Ryan.
	Switch band.
	It's cool.
	Moving.
	That was a moving speech.
	Pure.
	Look at Mitch McConnell.
	- The last generation to maybe ever. - Moving, it was a moving speech. - Mike Allen of Axios asked Senate Majority - Bure.
	- Mitch McConnell, whether it was over the last. - Look at Mitch McConnell, he sits with his knees together like Forrest Gump.
	- You know I'm not gonna answer. - He looks like a ventriloquist dummy with those two lines down, you know what I mean?
	It's to keep from having an accident, okay?
	I expect the Koch brothers to have their hand up his ass like, Hey, Mitch McConnell, do it like we rehearsed.
	These are good people.
	Alright!
	Oh my gosh.
	There's the Fox News angle, right?
	Making sure they show the legs.
	Ooh, Kilmeade's gained some weight.
	Ouch.
	Be nice.
	I'm not being nice.
	I don't have to be nice.
	I'm being honest.
	Listen, you're on television.
	It's your job.
	It's true.
	It's true.
	Your job is to just take care of yourself.
	You're not taking care of yourself today.
	I'm not taking care of myself today.
	That's why I look exhausted.
	Look at these bags.
	It looks like Mitch McConnell's sphincter.
	How do you know?
	Well, I'd imagine it looks like his chin parts.
	Oh my gosh.
	I just find it funny, Reg just said this to me, 56% say Trump's comments on Russia are probe or false.
	This is a good example here, okay?
	This is a CNN poll.
	Right.
	So this has been breaking news.
	I think that we should put a moratorium on calling anything breaking news that's opinion.
	Okay, that's opinion.
	Because only 17% of Americans think they're getting a tax break.
	80% are.
	So breaking news is 80% of Americans are getting a tax break.
	Not breaking news, only 17% of Americans are not retarded.
	And also, breaking news should not be internal polls.
	No, it shouldn't be in journal polls.
	It's just as arrogant as me saying, breaking news.
	I'm a little tired.
	Polls can be incredibly misleading, too, depending on how you ask questions.
	And most of the time, 56% of people can't possibly have an informed opinion about what they're being asked.
	Well, yeah, because they're fetching it to their own fan base.
	It's like, come on, you've been watching CNN.
	What do you think about what we're saying, is basically what the poll is.
	You're asking people on the page who are mad about us doing a meme of Jake Tapper.
	It's true.
	I don't think, really, do you think that this meme was accurate?
	I just think that's mean.
	I stand by that meme.
	The meme meme?
	Did you make the meme?
	No, but I think I endorsed it.
	Oh, okay.
	Okay, hold on.
	Sven Computer has another overlay for us.
	No, it's not an overlay.
	It's just my opinion.
	Well, hold on.
	You're supposed to be facts.
	If there are facts to the opinion... Well, I guess.
	Let me hear you.
	So, I think the mechanism here is that CNN... People watch CNN.
	CNN tells them, you're not getting a tax break.
	Then they ask in a poll, they go, well, what I've heard, I'm not getting a text break, beep beep.
	And then CNN again, it's like a circle, and they just report on like, oh, people aren't getting a text break.
	But you did it with a beep beep.
	You're just saying what Gerald said with a beep beep.
	With a beep beep.
	But I wasn't listening.
	Sven, that's lazy research.
	Sven Computer.
	You're actually doing what they're doing.
	Sven Computer needs an iOS update.
	He needs an update.
	He needs to prove.
	He's still on Sven computer snow leopard.
	Reset the firmware all together.
	Yeah, just shut him down for a minute How dare you do that in that chair?
	How dare you?
	How dare you do that?
	This guy doesn't know anything and he got beat you to the punch.
	No, but you're absolutely right.
	Nothing.
	Oh, now it finally says, House approves short-term spending bill to avoid shutdown.
	So, we got 45 seconds.
	Not GOP, because a minute ago it was their fault if we don't.
	Now it's just House.
	Yeah, now it's just House.
	Not GOP comes together.
	It was Republicans want to kill 9 million tiny tins.
	Exactly, but now it's the House.
	It's general.
	What is that guy?
	It looks like Click... He looks like one of the CGI orcs.
	Like, now when they were cool, but they became CGI, and you're like, ah, that's not believable.
	Looks like Dick Clark screwed Dracula.
	Representative.
	That's something that'll stick with me for a while.
	He looks like Dick Clark's ball dropped on his face.
	Blunt.
	Do you think Dick Clark knew when he did Dick Clark's ball dropping thing that that was going to become a euphemism?
	Do you think he knew that?
	Do you think he had the foresight or was it a much more innocent time?
	I was like, what should we call my New Year's extravaganza?
	We started like in the 19th century, so... I don't think you have the foresight of Twitter.
	87% of the people listening need you to explain what that is.
	Is that a hair hat?
	You think that's a hair hat?
	No.
	You don't think that's a hair hat on the right?
	Not Wolf Blitzer.
	No.
	You don't think it's a hair hat on the right?
	No.
	I do.
	I vote yes.
	I don't think so.
	I do.
	From this image right here.
	Yeah.
	It's a good one.
	Let's throw a poll up.
	I'll give him that.
	I want to throw a poll up.
	Hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.
	Is that a hair hat on the right?
	They just had his name.
	Roy Blunt.
	Roy Blunt.
	You shouldn't make fun of him because he's a Republican.
	I think that's a hair hat.
	It's not a hair hat.
	Hold on a second.
	Let me get up closer.
	It's not.
	I think that's a hair hat.
	Now, I can't be sure because we're... We need Francine.
	Francine's good at this.
	Yeah, she is.
	We're pirating the live stream.
	It's true.
	So it's not 4K.
	It's not 4K.
	So you cannot... But this here looks very... Look at this line.
	It's the ridge line.
	Okay, look there.
	It doesn't go, well... I'm telling you, I think it's fine.
	I think it's a hair hat that's sewn on.
	So, you two think it's a hair hat?
	Spank Computer, what do you think?
	Hair hat or no?
	I think from my angle I can't actually see the TV.
	So you're abstaining from the vote?
	Yes.
	Like 35 nations did today on the Israel vote?
	Yes.
	I'm Canada right now.
	Those chickens.
	Canada of opinions.
	He is Switzerland.
	We don't really know.
	We don't know.
	He doesn't get to be Switzerland because he's German.
	No, too late.
	Yeah, it's too late.
	No, he doesn't get to eat Switzerland.
	That ship sailed.
	Listen, if you're German, you don't even get to pretend to be another country.
	Okay, so when, but when does that stop?
	Doesn't.
	Never?
	No!
	That's reasonable.
	Yeah, it's a few million people, it never goes away.
	What if somebody else comes around and does something horrible like that?
	Here's one thing.
	Like all Muslim countries that attack other people that are peaceful.
	I mean, we could throw them into that, right?
	What do you mean?
	They could be like the new Germany.
	They're trying to kill people like ISIS.
	What you don't realize is they've just killed so many people, it's like rollover minutes.
	terrible we're good for such a long time we're such terrible people Don't you worry about it.
	Sven Computer's not laughing at all.
	Now he fakes it.
	He's like, ha ha, ha ha.
	Your processor is saying it would be best in your best interest to laugh right now.
	If you want to maintain your visa.
	Fake laugh.
	I was going to ask you this.
	OK, Sven Computer.
	I know you're tired.
	I can only imagine.
	Let me imagine.
	Let me ask you this, Sven Computer.
	You applied for your job here, right?
	You had no experience as far as working in film.
	We've done the Golden Ticket.
	By the way, we still also have a Golden Ticket for another... We won't talk about it now because we'll get too many submissions during the stream.
	Did you think you'd be working here?
	Did you really think you were gonna get it?
	Uh, no.
	Beep, beep, bop.
	Really?
	Why didn't you think you thought too many submissions?
	Yeah, also qualified people.
	Beep, beep, bop.
	Yeah, do you know why you were picked?
	Because I put in more effort than anyone else.
	That's exactly what it was.
	Germans do that.
	You did.
	Well, I knew that.
	That was like a thing I said.
	Like, hey, I can work harder.
	Beep, beep.
	Yeah, I know.
	But then he came here and he said, by the way, do you get three months off in the summer?
	Because that's kind of a big one for me.
	No.
	That's the standard.
	That's kind of a close-handed issue.
	You know, I have open-handed issues and close-handed issues.
	Three months off as an intern.
	No, it is true.
	Listen, Sven Computer applied out of hundreds of applicants.
	I wish he would sign off on us playing his tape sometime.
	So people see what a hard work is like a real tape.
	His audition tape?
	His audition tape.
	Here's the thing.
	It was a technical mess, but the guy put in a lot of effort.
	And then he sent me a tape of me being waterboarded in space.
	Yeah.
	And he just, he really worked.
	It actually wasn't a technical mess.
	He did some stuff that was really cool with the split screen and him playing dart.
	So it was him talking to me, saying why he would be the best person in the job.
	Oh, this was like a whole production.
	It was a whole production Spent Computer did.
	Everyone else barely sent in an email with their basic information.
	And Spent sent in a whole entire video saying, hey, this is why I'm qualified.
	A, B, C, D.
	He hooked us.
	I realized he's a good storyteller.
	He hooked us in and then gave us his resume.
	Right.
	That is good.
	He got us to like him first.
	He suckered you.
	He suckered us.
	Spent Computer suckered us.
	And now he's here.
	We would have thought we'd learn after World War II.
	Doing the 16-hour live stream.
	This is how Skynet begins.
	Okay, so we have, well, okay.
	We're in the homestretch, so there's less than six hours to go.
	We just crossed 10 hours.
	We crossed 10 hours!
	Atta boy!
	Tweet out a celebratory tweet.
	CrowderCNN livestream hashtag.
	I'm saying this because I can't be tweeting while doing this.
	It's either Sven Computer or Courtney helping with my Twitter.
	You're going, how can you toot while you're on air?
	I can't do all of this at the same time.
	Just, I know.
	FYI.
	It's not even movie magic.
	I'm just lying to you.
	There's a reason why we made sure all Walthers were unloaded in the studio because the dictation would have been too great.
	Here's the thing, I will tell you this.
	I am exhausted and I hate CNN, but I was more so worried that I would want to hurt you.
	You know, like cabin fever, that we'd be at each other's throats.
	It's been pretty good.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, I mean, nobody's been seriously injured yet.
	No, nobody's been.
	Honestly, I feel good.
	I'm in the room.
	I feel good.
	Other than the carol.
	I was a little pissed before we aired when I found out we had no ability to get overlays, and now we're kind of jerry-rigging it.
	It's worked.
	But I was like, meh.
	We have more surprises that could go terribly wrong.
	Well, yeah, I know.
	That's what I'm not happy about, that fourth caroler.
	Yeah.
	You never know.
	Listen, if a caroler comes to your studio and locks herself in your green room, thereby locking out your own producers and refuses to perform even though you've paid them and they signed a contract- They know your address now.
	Can you say that person's kind of a bitch?
	Uh, yeah.
	Okay, good.
	That's at G. Morgan Jr.
	The theologian.
	You also should have men in black to her ass so she doesn't remember our studio's at.
	Do you realize what you just said?
	Did you do the flashy thing on me?
	Do you realize the phrase that just came out of your mouth?
	Oh, jeez.
	I didn't hear it.
	He said we also should have men in blacked her ass so she wouldn't have little studios.
	That's gonna be written down.
	Well, there you go.
	There goes my senate run.
	What were you gonna say, Sven Computer?
	I just wanted to bring up the poll results, so 71% think that that was indeed a hair hat that we saw.
	Oh, come on!
	No, no, no!
	Stop, stop that!
	That's not true!
	That's not true!
	Fake, fake news!
	You can be a recount.
	There are no hanging chads there.
	No, it's not fake news.
	Not fake news.
	You guys don't know what you're talking about.
	We are tent- gosh, we've been doing this for ten hours.
	I still say we need to get Francine on that one later on, because she's- she's- she's- We'll let her watch the video and see if she can tell.
	Let's see, Francine- I'm gonna send- I'm gonna send a note to Senator Roy Blunt.
	Anybody from Missouri on Twitter, we want you to send a note to your senator's office and ask him, is that a piece?
	Look, see, here's the thing- Is that carpet?
	You don't just look at the- you don't just look at the- the hair.
	You gotta look at the face it goes with, because the face- I'm done listening to you.
	It's unnatural.
	It's unnatural.
	I'm done.
	We're done.
	I'm done.
	You've aggravated us.
	I'm done.
	Sufficiently.
	I think.
	You think it's a piece?
	I think it's a piece.
	Okay, good.
	Good, good, good.
	Never mind.
	You're done.
	No!
	No!
	What?
	How does stuff turn so quickly on me?
	It doesn't follow the face.
	Look at it.
	It's weird.
	Oh my gosh.
	It's weird.
	That's really weird.
	You know what?
	Everyone today has looked really pretty weird aside from Jake Tapper.
	And I say this as someone who looks weird.
	Like, here's the thing.
	Look right now at Wolf Blitzer.
	All of that is a choice.
	That beard is a choice.
	That hair is a choice.
	Those glasses are a choice.
	I'm not entirely convinced he didn't die years ago and they just green screened compliments and everything.
	Just generic responses.
	That's how I felt about Larry King.
	He's not even alive.
	I felt like Larry King was a Jim Henson character for years.
	Yeah.
	I feel like he's been locked away with Richard Simmons by that Wiccan from Rio.
	Have you heard that story about Richard Simmons?
	He's been locked in his mansion from his maid.
	She's a witch.
	I was one of the last people to talk with Richard Simmons on Twitter by direct message.
	Yeah, he was gonna come on the show, and he was like, uh, I don't have time right now, please stop messaging me, and just, like, disappeared, and then his Twitter was shut down, and then we've heard that he was, like, kidnapped.
	Really?
	By his maid?
	Yeah, by, like, his house lady, who apparently was from Brazil.
	Apparently he went down to Brazil, this is true.
	Don't screw around with that.
	And since he came back, they said he was doing a bunch of witchcraft, weird stuff, and everyone has said that he's cut out his family, so whether it's witchcraft or not, maybe he's a member of a cult.
	I don't know what the story is.
	Either way, spiritual stuff can happen.
	Okay, look at Wolf Blitzer.
	All of that is a choice.
	That's just really weird to me.
	It's just not great.
	It's bizarre to me.
	Everything CNN has done today is a choice.
	Here's the thing.
	Let's get, uh, do we have any games that we can get going or something?
	Yeah.
	We can, but we, uh, we have a guest coming in here and she's hot and suckin' here.
	How long, can I go to the restroom before we have the guest?
	Yeah, we'll, we'll, we'll go for it.
	Alright, Gerald, hold down the fort.
	I've gotta use the restroom really badly.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, do it.
	I've been drinking water, hold on a second, let me make sure if I need to get more water before it.
	And, uh, you know what, this time try not to suck.
	That's impossible.
	I don't know what you're talking about.
	Is the temperature good for everyone in here?
	I think we're fine.
	I don't care.
	You know, it's a little chilly, but I'm, like, cold sweating.
	I'm cold sweating, too.
	I don't know why.
	I don't want to warm it up.
	I don't know why that is.
	If you warmed it up, it'd be, like, you'd fall asleep.
	You don't want to do that.
	I'm just getting some more fresh air.
	I think it's commercials.
	Oh, yeah.
	How long does it take to circulate fresh air in a room if you open it outside?
	That long, right?
	I don't know.
	Two, three days.
	That quick?
	I have no idea.
	Why are you looking at me as though I have an informed opinion?
	I trust you and Gerald to do a job, not a commercial.
	We're gonna run a commercial here.
	We're not gonna run a commercial.
	Not gonna run a commercial?
	No.
	We're gonna burn this mother down, baby.
	Like there's no tomorrow.
	Nah, I will tell you this.
	Did I miss the 4th Christmas YouTube Carol?
	It's not aired yet.
	And so you're gonna show the entire thing?
	Are you gonna make that available afterwards?
	Like in its entirety?
	Oh man, it's been so cool.
	I've seen so many people talking about it.
	A lot of people on Twitter are talking about the show today and how much fun they're having with it, though.
	I think it's the fact that they're seeing Steven get tortured by having to watch this.
	And you as well, Nagi Jared.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	It's a, it's like a glutton for punishment.
	Sven computer sitting over there in the chair that looks remotely like my chair.
	Um, yeah, I don't want you to be too comfortable over there, my friend.
	It's definitely going to be a chair I go back into.
	So, go ahead.
	Guys, Steven's biggest dream in the world.
	He has midgets coming in the studio later.
	But can he hear us in the green room?
	He's peeing.
	We're good.
	He has midgets.
	Little people?
	Of course.
	Little people.
	Oh.
	Yes.
	They're coming to see us.
	Yes!
	Yes!
	Eastern.
	That's fantastic.
	That is fantastic.
	Hashtag CrowderCNN livestream, baby.
	This is what we do.
	Oh my gosh.
	We're getting sued.
	We're getting sued by somebody.
	That's definitely going to happen.
	You know what you also get?
	So the CNN stuff is incredibly repetitive, but you also start to see the commercials over and over and over.
	I think we have more sponsors than they do.
	It's hard to make me wonder.
	No, I know.
	There's not a lot of variety going on here.
	It's just silly, stupid commercials.
	None of them make any sense to me.
	The only one that I like is the sloth one that's trying to play Pictionary or whatever it is.
	And it's kind of funny because the sloth can't do it.
	I don't know.
	I watched the movie that the sloth was in and it was really funny too, so whatever.
	Do we want to just thank a couple more people that signed up?
	Yeah, let's do that.
	I'll get the bell.
	Bring out the bell!
	Oh, he's here.
	We'll do it later.
	Let's do it before our next guest.
	Well, no, because I'm not on the screen right now.
	We're going to connect with our next guest.
	I can read out the names.
	Well, no, don't do the names.
	All right, well, listen.
	What did they talk about while I was gone?
	Oh, nothing.
	Just stuff about things and places.
	Mostly the weather.
	Yeah.
	It's pretty good.
	So you got nothing, basically.
	They're a commercial and we got nothing.
	We actually came to the conclusion that we have more sponsors than they do because they keep running the same commercials over and over and over.
	Well, listen, we've been... It's just so manufactured.
	Yeah.
	Since they're running commercials, one thing we'll say is we've been really limited with sponsors.
	Why?
	Because you've joined... So we don't have to do sponsors, right?
	But here's something that's awesome about Mug Club members.
	Vladoscutter.com slash Mug Club.
	Listen, that's the only way we're able to do this.
	Right.
	This is all we do full-time, and we are the only alternative to late night right now.
	There's no one else, and our goal... And you're better than late night.
	Well, no, no.
	Our goal is to... But my opinion... People say, well, thank you very much.
	But our goal, people say, what's your goal?
	Our goal is to grow this and to be bigger, not just in the Young Turks, but Colbert, Kimmel, Fallon, all of them.
	We're gunning for them all, and you guys have made this year... We're coming up on 1.2 million... 1 point... Sorry.
	Yes, 1.2 million subscribers.
	My brain is a piece of crap.
	So...
	It's all because of you.
	It's all because of you.
	We're creating more free content because of you.
	We appreciate that.
	And we don't have to have 50 commercials.
	And that's one thing.
	We'll have a few commercials.
	We'll start incorporating them.
	Mug Club members don't get mad either about commercials.
	No, actually, I want you guys to play, like, get your commercials into, like, something that I can watch because they're so funny.
	They're so entertaining.
	Well, that's one thing, too.
	Our audience, and thank you so much for making it happen, has been so supportive.
	That's why Walther, people don't understand, the paying members, where we don't have to run ads because you're paying, but the paying members is what shows people like Walther, people like SimpliSafe, they go, oh my gosh, there's a lot of, not many people pay for things on the internet.
	And Walther just, they have the balls to stand up and support the show.
	Listen, like I said, about Walther, it's a sponsor for us.
	If you're not a firearm person, don't buy a gun.
	If you're going to buy a gun, all I'm asking you is to try the Walther.
	Go to the gun range, Glock 19, Glock 7, try the PPQ.
	If you're going to get a Smith & Wesson Shield, or the Ruger LCP, or whatever it is, or the Sig... They're all good guns, by the way.
	They're all good guns.
	Try the Walther PPS.
	Try it, and even... Here's the thing.
	They support this show.
	And that's great.
	And so if you want to support – if you find them kind of, okay, within the margin of error and you want to support the company that supports your show, great.
	But here's the deal.
	If it's not a good product, don't purchase it.
	But I am just asking you to try it because I have never had anyone try them and not choose the Walther.
	And that's what – we went after them.
	We're like, listen, listen.
	This is why I want you to be a sponsor.
	Yeah, it's a good product.
	We don't want a product that we have to sell all the time.
	No.
	You know, whether it's bedsheets or reverse mortgages or gold, we can just tell people, go right now, do me a favor, people out there, and then you can tweet me at S Crowder, of course, hashtag CNN, Crowder CNN livestream.
	Google Walter PPQ review, okay?
	Tell me if you find anything short of glowing.
	Google Walter PPSM, that's what I'm carrying right now, PPSM2 review.
	You won't find anything short of glowing.
	Even their new one, their Creed, their budget gun, I've never fired it.
	Yeah.
	Just go Google it and go try it!
	And we are so thankful to Walther.
	Honestly, like, I can't tell you, that's one of the... For me this year, that's one of the biggest... That and the success have changed my mind.
	It's been huge.
	I didn't realize, 1.9 million plays for the Two Genders one, I believe?
	Oh, I didn't even know that.
	1.9 million, that's incredible.
	Yeah, that's crazy.
	You're getting close to a million, probably already past a million, the numbers just haven't refreshed on the other one.
	No, they all have over a million, except for, obviously, Kwanzaa, but that was seasonal.
	Yeah, yeah, that's true.
	Well, I like the way you guys do this, too.
	I like the way you guys do commercials, because, you know, every time you would, if you ever listen to talk radio or anything like that, it's like, it's the cheesy, and I only use whatever, and you're like, yeah, whatever, we know you got paid.
	You guys do really fun commercials, where, you know, you put some time and some effort and energy into it, so it's entertaining, and so I'm like, I, of course, want to buy that product now.
	You know what's so cool, too?
	Listen, right now they're talking, breaking news, FBI director backs up Comey claims of Trump request for loyalty.
	Okay, what does that mean?
	What president wants disloyalty anyway?
	Especially Comey, the guy who's been flip-flopping.
	Listen, I used to feel bad for Comey until I realized he's just kind of a dick.
	Like, you ever notice that?
	It's just like, Comey, some of it you bring on yourself.
	I don't feel bad for him.
	He did this himself.
	My wife just stole beer from our fridge.
	Did you realize that?
	Wow.
	She did?
	Yeah, she just stole beer from our fridge.
	Maybe she's setting up a game.
	Unreal.
	I don't know.
	Anyway, I thought she was asking you if you wanted a beer, and I thought you said yes, and then she just stole our beer.
	That was gonna be nice.
	Oh, okay.
	The cool thing, too, I will say this about right now, claims for loyalty.
	The cool thing I'll say about Walther, and then I'll stop talking about our sponsor, is I told him, like, hey, listen, just so you know, I have an old Smith & Wesson revolver, and I really like my Ruger SP-101 revolver.
	So, like, they're like, that's okay, that's fine.
	I was like, well, I know you don't have revolvers, so if ever I mention it, they're like, even if there were other semi-automatics that you had that you liked, we wouldn't care.
	They never said you have to only plug Walther.
	Well, it gives you some ability to be honest.
	Think about how crazy that is.
	What sponsor does that?
	I would want exclusivity.
	Yeah, go talk to them all.
	If Simplified Wine was sponsoring and paying money to sponsor this show, I'd be like, screw you.
	Simplifiedwine.com, you just can't afford it.
	That's true.
	Thank you.
	Oh, bless you, sir.
	OK, hold on a second.
	This is what we have, the Comey deal.
	Yes.
	I just, I honestly, I just, I can't believe how, one thing I will say, and I want to hear from you guys, hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.
	Were you, did you, like, do you think?
	Only when CNN has understood the depths of their failure.
	Did you understand the magnitude of how bad they were?
	They won't change until dollars start to get affected.
	That's the only way stuff like this changes.
	Well, Sina doesn't make their dollars off of viewers.
	They make it off of, like, licensing footage.
	Well, that's what I mean.
	Like, until something breaks in their model financially, they'll keep putting crappy stuff out there.
	You know how worried we get?
	You know this, where we're like, ah, gosh, we've got to get a good guest.
	Yeah.
	Like, oh, man, that guy.
	They've had Roy Blunt on for this entire half hour.
	It's like, come on.
	Who I'm still convinced, by the way, the poll says a hairpiece.
	It's not a hairpiece.
	Absolutely.
	You are citing a poll?
	You think that that's good information?
	I'm not railed against polls.
	No, no, I'm just saying most people think it's... What are you, Bernie Sanders?
	I'm not saying it's breaking news.
	According to the poll... I'm not saying it's breaking news.
	It's just opinion.
	It's true.
	Okay.
	But I'm right, because it's a majority.
	Just like democratic socialism.
	Let me say this.
	Gosh, I need, I think I need some, could you do me a favor?
	You want some caffeine?
	No, give me a couple of Figgy Pops over there.
	Figgy Pops?
	Alright.
	By the way, you guys, they're not sponsored.
	You ever had Figgy Pops?
	They're delicious.
	I get them at Costco.
	It's just cocoa, coconut, and fig paste wrapped up in one.
	By the way, that's Edward, the sound guy, if you hear him in the background.
	That's just him.
	No, no, they're in the fridge.
	They're in the fridge.
	You're like, he's like Lenny in Of Mice and Men.
	I didn't mean to kill the rabbit, George.
	I just wanted better ketchup on my beans, George.
	See that's, that's an American, uh, that's John Steinbeck.
	Sven Computer doesn't understand the reference.
	Do you want some figgy, do you want some, hey, Jared, Jared, Jared, do you want some figgy pop?
	Okay, hold on a second, hold on a second.
	Let me give you back, can you close this up?
	Sorry guys, I'm going to be eating on the mic.
	Hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.
	By the way, we're going to need your help.
	When people get back from work, you guys have been the workday crowd.
	It's going to be a whole different crowd.
	We want to get this thing to top three trending like it was earlier so that Don Lemon starts blubbering like the blatant, blatant feminine homosexual he is once you get a few drinks in him.
	Yeah.
	Go ahead.
	So we want to get the, we're getting requests for a couple things.
	Okay.
	Lots of requests for alcohol and lots of requests for Wonder Woman.
	I kid you not.
	Wonder Woman?
	What do you mean?
	Requests for Wonder Woman.
	So, at this point in the evening, I would like to welcome in Wonder Woman to kick off the alcohol portion of our evening.
	Oh my God.
	No, no, no.
	Got to know everybody.
	Merry Christmas, everybody.
	So, here's what we want to do.
	We want to get some... I'm not looking at them.
	Yeah.
	Do it.
	Oh, God.
	Oh, God.
	Alright.
	Oh, oh!
	On the Twitters!
	Here's what we need your help.
	We need... Aaron, the intern at K-Wonder Woman, has a... How many ounces is that?
	Three beers.
	That's three beers?
	Three cans.
	Three cans of beers.
	So that's like 36 ounces of fluid.
	Plus some head.
	Oh, gosh.
	Here's the thing, Aaron the Intern came in a pink bunny costume earlier.
	Sorry, I'm eating on air.
	I don't get to take a break.
	Did you drink what was in that mug earlier?
	He's lit.
	You're like five beers in.
	Be careful.
	By the way, for people who don't know, Aaron, the intern, has been doing an unbelievable job editing the YouTube Carol.
	We're gonna have more YouTube Carol segment four.
	Yep.
	And then everything at the end, the grand finale.
	Can't wait.
	Can't wait.
	You were in there, so was Sun Computer.
	Everyone did a really good job, and Aaron is the brilliant editor who made it happen.
	I wish he would coach some other editors.
	Yeah, that'd be great.
	Because he hoards it.
	Oh.
	Did you just call him a whore?
	No, he hoards the editing because he's so good at it.
	Oh, lord.
	The problem is, often we're like, hey, Aaron, and they're like, I'll just do it.
	I'm like, Aaron, you don't have to be here this late.
	He's like, well, I'm the only one who can do this.
	I'm like, yeah, you're right.
	But we need to hire someone else to do it!
	We gotta get another guy.
	Or a girl.
	Could be a girl.
	That was really sexist of me.
	I apologize.
	Especially you're in Wonder Woman editing.
	Let's be honest, it's gonna be a guy.
	You're supposed to be empowering women!
	I would welcome it, but I have not met one female editor.
	Okay, here's one thing I will say.
	Read him.
	My history.
	Here's one thing I will say.
	I have had to hear you bitch about the Wonder Woman schtick.
	For months.
	You know what?
	You know what this is?
	Because you've lost some weight, you look good.
	Is this because you wanted to show people that you lost weight?
	Well, I have lost weight.
	You do.
	You do.
	You look a lot better.
	I think people will see.
	This is a merry Christmas.
	This is your Christmas present.
	Boom.
	Well, you have another Christmas present on the way.
	Can I get an Alexa?
	No.
	How is this my Christmas present?
	I can't drink this yet.
	Why can't you drink it yet?
	We've got to wait for the polls to come in.
	How long?
	How long does it take?
	How many seconds can I down this?
	In how many seconds can you down this?
	Okay, so we have a poll going?
	Okay, in how many seconds can Aaron the intern... What?
	What, Sven?
	You can't do a poll, you've got to just ask the question.
	What's the poll?
	Sven, double check to make sure it's not already up the poll to see... It's a poll, how fast can Sven... I've got to blare away at this bitch.
	Hey, by the way, Blaire White taping Ghost of Christmas.
	Blaire, if you're watching, and her boyfriend, Joey, was very nice.
	Her boyfriend, Joey, was a super cool dude.
	And that scene where she got me in a headlock, Joey was there, I said, listen, I hope you know that I wrote this.
	And he's like, yeah, I know, because it's funny, because it's Blaire.
	It's totally fine.
	And Blaire White really got me in the bosoms.
	And I looked at him, and he was like, dude, it's hilarious.
	Don't worry.
	Joey and Hilary both laughed their asses off.
	Oh yeah, my wife loves it.
	My wife is a total, you know, they call her a faghead because she was a model for a long time, so gay guys love her.
	I was like, I don't know if it's the same thing with trannies.
	Turns out they like her!
	Works out.
	I would tell you this.
	We've played Spot the Trainee.
	We all agreed with Blair.
	And I hope Blair doesn't take offense to this, because it would be... I think it's more of a compliment.
	Yeah, we wouldn't know.
	Yeah.
	I mean, going by the thumbnail picture that's on Twitter, your dad and I were having a candid conversation.
	He's like, so, you know, Blair what?
	And I'm like, yeah, I didn't know.
	You know what would give me pause with Blair?
	I had no idea.
	What do you think, Aaron?
	What would give me pause is almost too feminine.
	You know what I mean?
	Like in the mannerisms where you'd be like, hold on a second, this is almost a caricature of a girl.
	Maybe.
	I don't know.
	But I don't think I would catch on.
	I think most people though, that's what like... No one can hear you.
	You meet like a gay guy and they're just being women.
	That's what it really comes down to.
	Yeah.
	I guess you're right.
	Maybe.
	I don't know.
	But Blair was very nice, came out... By the way, special thanks to Hodge Twins, Clint Howard, Blair White, Bill Richmond, our half-Asian lawyer, and we have Mark... Well, people did guess.
	That's right.
	Coach Ripito.
	Mark Ripito for narrating.
	Oh, he did that?
	Yep.
	And there's actually, there are more cameos to follow in a YouTube Carol.
	We have segment four, and then the grand finale of tonight is the entire episode.
	We're gonna put it up and have a grand finale.
	That's the way to end the show right there.
	Although I don't take any responsibility for not gay Jared singing.
	Ooh.
	Ooh, yeah, that's true.
	Is the poll up, Sven Computer?
	Yes, the pull is up.
	I gave four options.
	The first one is under 10 seconds, then under 20 seconds, then actually it would be 21 to 30.
	I don't want anyone getting sick in the studio.
	Yes, but... Just do me a favor, go throw up where the caroler would lock yourself in.
	I'm not gonna throw this up.
	On the caroler.
	You heard the story of the carolers.
	Well, you were there.
	I was there.
	I was there.
	How bad was it?
	No, I wasn't there.
	I was filming.
	For people who don't know, by the way, hashtag CrowderCNN live stream.
	For people who are re-hearing it, we had carolers come in.
	It was a quartet.
	One of them refused to come in and serenade me because she found out who I was.
	She was like bawling.
	She was convulsing and crying and unable to control herself, according to your dad.
	I heard the story from him.
	So you weren't there for that?
	No, but I did drive out.
	Pick up some supplies, and I did see her.
	Okay.
	She was very upset in the car.
	On the way out, like, to the point where you probably thought I did something horrible?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, it was like, it was like somebody threw, you know, food in her face.
	Yeah.
	She was very upset.
	I don't understand, like, is there, is there somebody on the liberal side, like, as a normal person, that you'd be like, yeah, this person is so bad, I wouldn't want to be around them?
	Like, I wouldn't care.
	Maybe I disagree with them, but I wouldn't care.
	I think that if I were in a room, and I've said this for, if I were in a room with Nancy Pelosi, I'd just start vomiting uncontrollably with the Exorcist.
	But if someone, if I were in a green room, and they said, hey, you're going to be doing stand-up for Nancy Pelosi, I would probably say, listen, she's not going to find me funny.
	I don't want to do this.
	Here's your money back.
	But if they said, hey, Nancy is open to have, if you go in, you can have a conversation with Nancy, I would go in.
	I would go in if it were Hitler.
	I would go in and have that conversation.
	I guarantee you, that's something I can't even fathom.
	Because Nancy can make her the butt of a lot of jokes.
	Yeah, I'd just go in and I'd be like, hey Nancy, why the long face?
	And she'd be like, what?
	I'd be like, I'm sorry, I meant why the horribly frightening bitch face?
	I had to rephrase.
	And then she wouldn't laugh, but I wouldn't be able to tell because she'd be like... And I'd be like, Nancy, are you laughing?
	Are you frowning?
	She'd be like, can't you tell?
	I'd be like, no, because of the horribly frightening bitch face, Nancy.
	You know when you're aborting three million babies a year?
	You know that one time?
	And then her frown would go...
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	That does sound good.
	People just smile at my face.
	I like choice.
	Oh gosh.
	Nancy Pelosi is, I've said this, I don't misuse the word evil.
	Oh man.
	And I don't even misuse it for Hillary Clinton.
	I think Hillary Clinton is just, a part of me somewhat feels empathetic because she's been humiliated by her husband.
	Yeah.
	I just think Nancy Pelosi is one of the few people who I really genuinely think has no morals and is evil.
	Well, you're not the only person with that opinion, too.
	Mr. Narrator has the same opinion.
	Remember the bottle of wine?
	Oh, yeah, Coach Mark Ripito.
	Remember when we were over at the tasting room?
	Yeah, Coach Mark Ripito.
	He wouldn't be mad at us.
	He had some really nice bottles of wine.
	He gave me a $400 bottle of Will It Rye, a limited edition.
	And he had a really expensive bottle of wine.
	I hope Coach Ripito doesn't mind me saying this.
	And I said, like, I don't remember what I said.
	He said, well, I have... I said, you're going to have to save it for a special occasion.
	And he's like... He said...
	He had one in mind.
	He said, I'll save this to uncork when Nancy Pelosi dies.
	And I said, Mark, that was really dark.
	He's like, oh, I'm not even joking.
	have one for harry reed already when when when nancy pelosi dies the best part about this is that somebody took the time to think about those things like you know what i didn't get a nice bottle like at some point he went to the store and bought a bottle of wine to prep for that bottle of wine or beer for christmas day much less yeah well i'll tell you what coach mark repito has foresight All right, so before the guest, are we doing the Aaron challenge?
	Okay, what's the poll?
	What are the poll results?
	Let's bring it up as an overlay.
	Can we bring it up as an overlay or no?
	Yes, we can.
	All right, let's bring it up as an overlay.
	I guess the question was how fast can Aaron the intern chug this?
	Yeah, so the majority of people think he will do it between 10 and 20 seconds.
	How many people answered?
	821 now.
	921?
	This poll has been up for like four minutes.
	Oh, it's been up for like two.
	People are lazy.
	Beep, beep, boop.
	No, I'm saying that's surprisingly fast.
	Okay, so most people think you will chug it between what?
	11 and 20 seconds.
	11 and 20 seconds.
	31% say under 10 seconds.
	80% say 20 to 30 seconds.
	And then 13% think you're going to totally lose it.
	Okay, hold on a second.
	Beep, beep, boop.
	Hold on a second.
	So what's the majority of people think what?
	11 to 20 seconds.
	Beep, beep, beep.
	The majority of people think 11.
	That's pretty ambitious.
	It's ice too.
	How many beers?
	To be fair, I've never chugged a huge beer.
	I don't want you to get sick in the studio.
	I can hold my beer.
	I just don't know.
	No, you really can't.
	That's the thing.
	I'm saying this respectfully.
	Is it like him?
	Uh, no.
	No, no.
	You don't have a super high tolerance for a guy yourself.
	I'm talking about liquor.
	Liquor.
	No, beer, you don't have a high tolerance, Aaron.
	No, I do.
	My wife and I were talking about it.
	Are you going to get angry?
	No, no, he's a sweetheart when he's drunk.
	But it doesn't take much.
	That's why I'm genuinely, like, I don't want him to get hurt.
	He's going to get hurt.
	Aaron, you don't have to do this.
	You've already thrown the poll out.
	But I didn't even, this wasn't my idea!
	And the poll's on my Twitter.
	What happens if he hurls all over the studio?
	That's not going in the next Cheers parody intro.
	It would be funny though.
	Alright, Aaron, out of your own volition, what do you think?
	Do you want to do this or not?
	I'm drinking this.
	Okay, hold on a second.
	Okay.
	But promise me you won't do it beyond the point of like hurting yourself.
	I promise.
	Like if you really, like, okay.
	If I feel like I can't do it, and to be fair, I've never chugged three cans of beer.
	Yeah, I know.
	No, listen, I don't care what, I mean, if they take you, they can just give you some knack and you'll be fine, but I don't want, just not the carpet.
	Okay.
	All right.
	I've got a clock right now on my iPad, okay?
	So let me know.
	Yeah, Gerald, hold the mic up at him.
	Hold on a second, breaking news!
	No, never mind, it's just about Comey, Donald Trump.
	I thought maybe we'd have to actually go back to CNN.
	This is what you have to do.
	Well, hold on, what's better when you chug beer?
	Is it standing or sitting?
	Well, Kobayashi would shake his stomach to get more hot dogs in it.
	Kind of like Anderson Cooper.
	Let's do a countdown.
	Are you ready?
	5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
	Matt Stein, go!
	Aaron, the intern.
	Alright, one second.
	Are you ready?
	Five, four, three, two, one.
	That's dying.
	Go, Aaron, the intern.
	There we go.
	All right, one second.
	Two, three, five, six, eight.
	Don't feel like you have to beat the poll.
	Don't feel like you have to beat the poll.
	13 seconds.
	14 seconds.
	Don't get yourself sick.
	Not on my carpet.
	19 seconds.
	20.
	21.
	The majority of the poll people were wrong.
	What was the second most?
	On the 10 seconds.
	So third was anyone after?
	Well, I don't call.
	Yeah, the brain freeze.
	And oh my gosh, there's some significant backwash in there.
	I can see it.
	Look at that.
	That's disgusting.
	That's my stein!
	Oh, it's your stein.
	Oh, he's getting it all over himself!
	Alright, 40 seconds!
	40 seconds.
	42 seconds.
	- See a timer? - 42 seconds. - I have to go.
	- All right, you have to go? - Yeah, let's get Wonder Woman out of here.
	Alright, get him in the bathroom.
	Get him in the bathroom.
	Wonder Woman, everybody, and the intern.
	Thank you very much.
	Let me just say, 42 seconds.
	He was contractually obligated to wear the Wonder Woman costume.
	He was not contractually obligated to chug that beer.
	Sven, you looked really sad, Sven Computer.
	Well, beep beep, I only looked sad because I think Courtney deleted my poll.
	Which was fair, because I messed up the numbers, but... Yeah, uh... beep beep.
	No, no, no, do not start!
	I thought he was coming in a throw-up.
	Yeah, and I was in the direct line of fire.
	He's that kind of a vindictive intern.
	All right, hashtag CrowderCNNLivestream.
	There you go.
	I didn't expect you would see that.
	Did we miss the guest?
	No, I think there was a little bit of a technical difficulty there.
	I think it worked, Skye.
	Okay, so we're not going to have Kevin Sorbo?
	Yeah, I think we're going to have Kevin Sorbo, and we missed another one, too.
	Did we miss Clint?
	No, we didn't miss Clint.
	Clint's still coming.
	Steven Wilford, the guy from The Shooter.
	Oh, he couldn't make it?
	Yeah, he couldn't make it.
	Okay, but we still have Clint, right?
	Clint's coming up here soon.
	Okay, Clint Howard is coming up in five minutes.
	So Clint Howard is coming up in five minutes.
	I'm resetting this.
	Listen guys, let's get this out.
	Hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.
	Guys, here's the deal.
	We've now had an entire news cycle, okay?
	Most news occurs before six o'clock.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Let alone before 7 o'clock Eastern.
	Everything is a rehash.
	And we have our hit list.
	For those people who are tuning in, the hit list.
	CNN, Russia hysteria with the idea that Trump was going to fire Mueller, even though he said he wouldn't.
	They had Adam Schiff on.
	Nine months he's been saying Mueller evidence.
	Nothing.
	No mention of Uranium One.
	Not once a day.
	No mention of this, by the way, and we've been trending all day to one degree or another.
	They said the CHIP program that Republicans wanted to put nine million tiny Timbs in a shallow grave.
	Turns out that's not the case, because then it turns out that the Republicans actually didn't want to shut down the government.
	They wanted to extend it to June 19th.
	Oh no, that was the House thing.
	That was the House thing, sorry.
	CHIP, by the way, Republicans, not a single Republican is trying to get rid of the child health care initiative.
	No, no one.
	No one is.
	No one is, no one is, no one is, no one is.
	Uh, no mention of the Melbourne attacker being Afghani Saeed Nayori, who, by the way, said he was doing it because of the mistreatment of Muslims.
	That's not even been mentioned up here.
	Apparently we have this guy, we have Scarforehead on here, we have Lex Luthor to talk about something else.
	And then, uh, they had Simone D. Sanders on to talk about the Mueller probe.
	By the way, this is the person who mocked Trump supporters being by black people saying, uh, poor white people.
	No mention of the 1995 Israel vote to move the embassy and recognize it in Jerusalem, which passed overwhelmingly in both the House and the Senate.
	No mention of the short-term funding for Republicans to the January 19th.
	They just now said, well, the House has extended it, even though they said the Republicans wanted to die them.
	Wanted them to die.
	They had breaking news just now developing Bannon hates Bush 43.
	That was from October.
	And then they only devoted 45 seconds to when the Tiny Tim Bill actually passed.
	Yeah, and then when they had the one lone conservative voice that everybody would kind of get behind Rick Santorum on there, they gave the other lady three minutes.
	They gave Santorum 20 seconds before both the host and the other guest interrupted him.
	It was crazy.
	Do you notice this?
	Hold on a second.
	They have the breaking news come in before they go to commercial.
	Yes.
	So they want us to, that's a cheat.
	It's breaking news, Liberty Mutual.
	It's a better spot.
	Breaking news, USAA.
	I can't believe it.
	That should be illegal.
	Can you imagine if you screwed over the viewers here like that?
	They wouldn't take it.
	Because they can walk away instantly.
	They can walk away whenever they want.
	These people are a captive audience on this.
	Our parody with like Perry Matheson who used to do fake news and all the fake commercials that we would make and the fake breaking news and the fake warnings.
	It wasn't any worse than CNN.
	No.
	No.
	It's pretty much on par.
	It was just funnier.
	So if you're going to go for news entertainment, go for something that's blatantly news entertainment.
	Yeah.
	That's my opinion.
	Just call it what it is.
	Breaking news!
	I think CNN sucks.
	It's not breaking news.
	Are you used to FaceTime then?
	It's been out there for quite a while now.
	Okay, so of course the article is, by the way, the Comey thing they're talking about now, it's from June.
	So I have this from Washington Post.
	They're talking about Comey said, actually Trump did demand loyalty from me.
	I have this article up right now from the Washington Post from Devlin Barrett in June.
	And it was James Comey said President Donald Trump told him at the White House, I need loyalty.
	I expect loyalty during their private dinner conversation in January.
	That sounds reasonable.
	But what's not reasonable is to act as though it's breaking news today.
	Right.
	Again, for people who are tuning in now, I know you're getting out of work.
	I hate to repeat myself, but again, this happens in a 16-hour livestream.
	This was the only way to prove to you definitively, beyond a doubt, the entire original clock of CNN.
	It's all been a fraud today.
	All of it.
	And the actual news that you need to know about?
	Nothing.
	So this is, go reference this live stream, this 16 hour live stream whenever people talk about fake news.
	Yeah.
	When Facebook wants to say we're fake news, well listen, we're able to fight back because you guys joined up at Mug Club.
	When YouTube wants to say we're fake news, what about CNN?
	They're literally talking about stories from June and October and they have the chyron saying breaking news!
	And every headline is misleading.
	Either by what it omits or by what it says.
	Every single headline.
	So if that's all you get, which is what most people get, you're not only not informed, you're misinformed.
	Yeah, I am genuinely... Okay, you tell me now, KJ.
	Do you feel as though today is probably the first day in a long time where you actually feel out to lunch in regards to what's going on in the world?
	Oh, absolutely.
	I feel much more informed even in the brief time we spend in the morning before pitch meeting.
	Yeah.
	What do you think, uh, at Sven Computer?
	Do you feel like this is probably the day where you're the most misinformed or least informed on news in a long time?
	No, no, no, in a long time.
	Yeah, compared to a normal day.
	But my point is, a normal day, you just check the news and you move on.
	We've been watching news all day.
	All day.
	And have nothing to show for it.
	Really.
	You've only been here for a few hours.
	Tell us!
	You've seen the outside world!
	What's it like?
	What's it like?
	There's not a whole lot going on out there, but... The Melbourne Attackers, the main news story of the day.
	Yeah, the thing that they're not covering.
	I don't know.
	I don't know that there's a whole lot else going on, but that doesn't excuse them from running the same stuff and pushing a narrative every time.
	That's dishonest.
	I think there's a part of it that is just genuine laziness.
	I think there's a part of it that they put together a package, say, hey, here's a topic.
	Here are three factual points about it.
	Let's speculate for four hours.
	Yeah.
	And then when we get done with that, we'll save that.
	We'll rerun it two hours later.
	Well, that's what news has become, and that's why I think people enjoy shows like this so much, is because you get a lot of the facts behind the opinions.
	We'll give you the opinion, and we'll tell you exactly what we think, but we'll tell you why.
	Well, let me tell you the logic behind what we do, compared with CNN.
	Right now they're doing commercials, so we're not missing anything.
	Again, hashtag CrowderCNN livestream.
	Yeah, commercial, non-stop commercial, non-stop commercial.
	Sven Computer knows this, and NotGayJared knows this, and you've seen this, where we're like, there's nothing in the news today.
	So you know what?
	We're going to pick a topic, for example, oh, the United States was built off the backs of slaves.
	Right.
	Or we're going to pick a topic like the myth of the Native American genocide.
	Or we're going to pick a topic like the myth of the Crusades and what they actually were as a retaliatory action.
	There's so much to discuss throughout human history and through sociology and culture.
	And since we're not beholden to lying about the news, we can come out, tell a few jokes about news of the day, and it doesn't have to be consequential because we can joke about it being inconsequential and then say, listen, not much happened, so we're going to dive into a topic today that maybe you might want to know about.
	Now, if it's topical, we'll dive into the tax bill.
	If it's topical, we'll dive into a terrorist attack that happens in the East.
	Or we'll do the Historicity of Jesus.
	Right, exactly.
	But if there's nothing topical, we can do the Historicity of Jesus.
	We can do the Historicity of the Kingdom of David.
	We can talk about the history of the FCC.
	We did net neutrality when there was a slow day a long, long time ago because we said, well, nothing's going on today.
	Let's try and educate our audience on net neutrality.
	Now, think about that for a second.
	It was really boring to the point where a lot of people said, man, your guest, I can't remember who he had on as a guest, but he was a net neutrality guy.
	He was really boring.
	And he was really smart, though.
	People said, man, it was really boring yesterday, but it was necessary.
	I didn't really understand that about net neutrality.
	This was maybe six months ago?
	Uh, something like that.
	Think about that.
	Maybe five.
	If you don't do that, if you don't take time out of your day to prioritize with news, people are only reacting to what they're hearing about net neutrality at the last second.
	And it's just inch deep information.
	And it's treated as newsworthy as this breaking news that Comey claims Trump requested loyalty.
	I have it right in front of me.
	That happened in June.
	Not all information is dessert, right?
	Sometimes you need the spinach of information, like you need the background and the understanding, the stuff that takes a little time to get so you can have an informed opinion when stuff does happen.
	Right.
	And sometimes you need to give them that.
	I think, too, what you guys do well is that you don't act like there's breaking news when there isn't.
	You take what you're given.
	You don't try to create something to create some kind of fake watch, right?
	You gotta watch because something's gonna come out tonight.
	You're honest.
	Yeah.
	It's weird.
	Honest is weird.
	Well, here's the thing.
	Even when we lie, it's funny and it's deliberate.
	Yes.
	Like when we say, Justin Trudeau's gonna be on the show tonight in just a big vagina costume, people laugh.
	But you know what?
	That's not any more illegitimate than what CNN claims is actual news.
	Speaking of what's not fake news, it is our hero of the year, Stephen Williford, who's with us.
	He's with us!
	He's with us.
	Mr. Williford, can you hear me, sir?
	Mr. Williford, can you hear us, sir?
	I don't think he can hear me.
	He might be frozen.
	What's that?
	He might be frozen.
	Oh, damn it.
	By the way, did we ever get him all those shirts?
	I believe so.
	Okay, we had a whole bunch of shirts about Stephen Williford.
	He's the man who took out the shooter outside of San Antonio.
	Was it something Springs?
	Something Springs?
	Yeah.
	My brain's getting tired, guys.
	Sutherland Springs.
	Okay, Mr. Williford, can you hear us, sir?
	Yes, I can.
	Mr. Wilford, thank you so much.
	I just lost video again, but okay.
	Oh, I'm sorry about that.
	Well, we can see you, and my gosh, this must be a killer season for you with the beard.
	Do you go to department stores and just start a bidding war?
	You'd be a perfect Santa.
	I don't know.
	We had a Santa Claus at our parade that was just brutal.
	It was awful sometimes.
	We actually said, couldn't you get like Stephen Wilford?
	Because not only does he have the beard, but he's cheery, and this Santa was grumpy.
	Mr. Wilford, thank you so much.
	Do you realize that you are one of us having you on the show after what happened in Sutherland Springs?
	You are probably the guest we've had the most feedback about all year.
	And we've had president, ever on the show, we've had presidential candidates.
	So many people said, hey, we want to reach out and speak with Mr. Williford and send him, you know, whether it was shirts or food or offer their help.
	And of course we kept your obviously location identity private.
	But you've, you've, you had a reaction or people had a reaction to you that they've never had from anyone on the show, sir.
	Well, thank you.
	I appreciate all the support.
	Now, did you get the shirts?
	Did we get those to you yet?
	We have not got them yet.
	- Okay, well you know what, then maybe it's been, we have a bunch of shipments that need to go out.
	We have some shirts that were made specifically for you by our merch people.
	Let me ask you, how has the rest of the year here been for you?
	Are you gearing up to, do you think you'll be enjoying Christmas?
	Have you been able to relax?
	Has the press left you alone now finally? - The press has pretty much left me alone.
	Saturday is our Christmas ride with the church.
	And we're hoping to have a lot of motorcycles there.
	Now, we were actually at one point trying to get you a motorcycle to get a sponsorship going, and it was just really hard to get a hold of someone.
	But I know you ride Harleys, and so how many people do you expect to have riding motorcycles down for this Christmas ride?
	Oh, we have no clue.
	Oh, all right.
	I've been contacted by a lot of different groups that want to come, and they want to bring toys.
	Well, we may have a real problem this year.
	We may have more toys than we have kids to give them to.
	That's a good problem to have.
	That's great.
	And this is the spirit of CNN time.
	We can speculate on how many people will be there.
	Yeah, this is the spirit of CNN.
	We can speculate on how many people will be there.
	Hey, Mr. Wilford, let me ask you.
	Did you get any requests from CNN to appear on any other primetime shows?
	Oh, yeah, I did.
	Oh, okay.
	You opted not to?
	I opted not to.
	Yeah, well, I don't know if you know what's been going on today.
	We're an hour 10 or 12 or something.
	We're watching 16 hours of CNN.
	And I got to tell you, every single hour, every single headline has been a falsehood.
	So, listen, we're in the late night show just doing what we can.
	And so I hope you feel like we did your story justice.
	We did you justice and gave you a fair platform because, listen, man, you touched our lives.
	We only wanted to have you on to say thank you so much for giving us the privilege of having you on the show and for, you know, what you've done to save lives.
	There's not much more.
	I don't want to take much of your time, but thank you so much.
	We're so glad you made the time here today.
	Thank you guys so much.
	I appreciate y'all.
	You did give me a fair place to voice what happened, and I so appreciate that.
	Well, thank you so much, Stephen Williford.
	Heroes come in all shapes and sizes.
	We do have to get going because we have some other guests.
	I know you had some issues with Skype.
	Mr. Williford, thank you so much, and you have a Merry Christmas, and let us know what happens with that ride.
	If you have some extra toys, I'm sure we can help find some people who need them.
	Thank you very much, and y'all have a Merry Christmas, too.
	Thank you.
	God bless.
	Stephen Williford.
	A hero.
	Nice man there.
	Hold on, intern Garrett is here in the corner.
	Oh, he needs Jared for one second.
	Do we have Clint Howard or is Clint Howard late?
	Clint Howard's Skype issues.
	Skype issues.
	Ah, damn it.
	What else is new?
	All right.
	Well, here's the thing.
	At some point I'm going to need to grab dinner.
	So... We've got a few things coming up.
	Hold on, keep talking.
	So I don't think I'd ever actually seen him.
	I didn't get to see the episode where you interviewed him and gave him kind of the opportunity to talk about it, but I am shocked that he didn't do like a CNN or something like that as well.
	I get it.
	His daughter was a fan.
	And that's why people say, are you Christians?
	Absolutely.
	And there's a rhyme and a reason.
	When this guy saved lives, we got a scoop in the sense that his daughter was a fan and she was actually looking to reach out to us.
	Okay.
	Because she said, I want someone who's going to give my dad enough room to breathe and not try and... Yeah, just manipulate him, whatever.
	Well, not only that, but also not doing a Barbara Walters, just trying to get him to cry.
	Right.
	Yeah, that's true.
	Because he almost made me cry on air.
	Yeah.
	And honestly, just now, like, I want to ask him, you know, I don't want to be distasteful, but I'm curious, what's the fallout been like?
	But I do think there are certain conversations that should be held for off air.
	Right.
	And I do this with a lot of guests.
	And then if they say, no, I'm cool talking about it on air.
	Right.
	No, we do it.
	I don't try and corner people and create that kind of drama on air.
	But that guy, he's the guy who stopped the shooter in Sutherland Springs with an AR-15 and no one talked about it and he came on our show.
	And gosh, what a blessing that that guy's been there.
	So when people say, yeah, there's a rhyme and a reason to our life and this show, and of course you've supported it at lottowithcutter.com slash MugClub, where we've had scoops And you know what else I will say about Steven Wilford?
	It taught me the conservatives out there who are real and who only care about some ratings.
	Because he did our show, and he did a 40-something minute interview, and he did one other show that was his friend, local, I think in Arkansas or something like that, and some conservative sites that I know I sent the video to, and we had the better interview, the other one was a puff piece, didn't run ours, ran another one.
	By the way, for people who don't know, it's not like Daily Wire.
	Daily Wire I love, and they ran our piece, and we always support Daily Wire, and Shapiro's gonna be on the show, so just before the rumor mill starts.
	But there were some other big conservative sites that never ran our interview with Stephen Williford, which to me is like, if you're a conservative site, and we gave him a platform, and he was begging for help to his church and support, and we gave him, and he said, this is the best platform that I've been given, thank you so much for being fair, and conservative sites didn't run it?
	These sites are just in it for the money, you realize, too.
	It happens on the right.
	It happens on the right, just like on the left.
	Yeah.
	And that was an eye-opener for me.
	It definitely does, and I think that's the sad part of it, too, because there's a business behind this, right?
	Right.
	So I think you got involved in this originally because you had a passion for bringing comedy and information together in a way that was fun and entertaining, but educational, right?
	And being honest about it.
	And obviously you wanted to have a business.
	I took the brown nosing from Gerald today.
	It's too much.
	I'm not brown nosing.
	I'm trying to give fans kind of an insight into this.
	I feel like I can more than you guys because y'all are in this all day every day.
	I have one foot out and one foot in.
	So I have more perspective.
	Right.
	Swing both ways.
	I do not swing both ways.
	I knew you were going to get something like that.
	Okay, go ahead.
	Sorry, I'm going to interrupt you.
	You didn't say anything about Caymus being gay either.
	That was the first.
	The first time you haven't done that.
	Well, I didn't want to.
	I realized it was too much.
	Yeah, I appreciate that.
	But I think you guys do a good job by... Because you're lonely.
	I am not lonely.
	I have prospects.
	See, that cuts a little deeper than... It just throws me.
	What do you do?
	Do you throw the feint?
	Like, what am I going to do?
	Do I go, hey, Gabriel, you're lonely.
	Ouch!
	That cuts.
	Okay, so I continue.
	Call me straight up gay and I'm fine.
	I can kind of roll with it.
	Yeah, of course.
	But anyway, I think you guys do a good job with that.
	Obviously, you do want to have the business part, but you're not willing to sacrifice who you are to make the money.
	You're not willing to just throw out a bad product just because it gets clicks or anything like we're seeing on CNN today.
	No.
	You do something that hopefully people enjoy, but even if people didn't enjoy it, this is what you would do.
	Yeah.
	Right?
	Or you'd go on to another career and go, you know what?
	Maybe this just isn't for me.
	I go on to another career because nobody enjoys it, nobody signed up, but everybody did sign up.
	Well, I think it's important, and this is one thing for people who've joined, and at Sven Computer can jump in because he was a Mug Club member before he ever worked for us.
	Were you really?
	Yeah, he was.
	I did not know that.
	His video included him with a mug.
	We allowed Germany to get a mug?
	Hold on a second, developing now.
	Haley echoes Trump.
	Breaking news!
	Breaking news, everybody!
	Haley Nikki Haley agrees with Trump on Israel.
	This is just a crappy... Oh, there it is.
	There's Kandi Crowley, remove water.
	It's like Kandi Crowley who's been in a sauna suit who's been cutting for wrestling practice.
	So, one thing I will say, and I'm incredibly grateful for, is our brand, Loud Earth Crowder, is based on, I know watch all the liberals say no, is based on truth.
	Yes.
	And listen, whether you agree or not, whether we get things right or not, people make mistakes.
	But you don't go out and do Change My Mind if you don't think that you have, it's purely an argument from truth.
	Right.
	You don't go out there and put clips up and, you know, Sven Computer, at Sven Computer, does overlay after overlay every single day.
	You don't provide direct sourcing and overlays if you don't think that you're telling the truth.
	Right.
	And sometimes we get it wrong.
	You hide it.
	Right.
	Sometimes we get it wrong and we've apologized.
	Yeah.
	But that's what our audience will call us on.
	The first people to tell us are like, hey, man, I'm a Mug Club member.
	Yeah.
	But I really think you got this wrong.
	And so we have to apologize the next day.
	So it doesn't work for us.
	For example, if we only, the reason we're so excited about Walther and SimpliSafe was a great sponsor is it's a product that we use.
	And honestly, SimpliSafe, I had security before I didn't use.
	And then when they were like, hey, listen, try the SimpliSafe.
	I was like, this is incredible.
	Absolutely I support this.
	But I've never sold anything out there that I either don't have in my house.
	There was a sponsorship recently.
	I was like, eh, I won't say what it is, but it involves, it's like one of those boxes delivered to your house.
	And I won't say which one, there's so many of them, so I'm not really, but I was like, it's kind of gimmicky.
	I was like, honestly, I don't, and it's kind of expensive.
	And I didn't want to do it, and people were shocked.
	So because it's based on truth, if we tell you, hey listen, the Walther, we use it, it's the best firearm out there, it's because we mean it.
	And we may be wrong.
	You may think the HK is better, you may think the SIG is better, but we all genuinely believe that Walther makes the best, and we went after them as a sponsor, based on that first.
	We go after sponsors based on who we use and who we think the best is first, and if they don't, then we just don't run a sponsorship, we run another mug club ad.
	Well, and I feel like, too, I get a little bit of perspective because I've been a close friend of yours for a while, but I've kind of seen where you started, kind of to where you are today.
	You have no science.
	I do have science.
	But one thing, too, we always try to give you the facts.
	We got into a big argument.
	I'll tell you that afterward.
	Oh, we always get into arguments sometimes, but mostly about Transformers.
	One of the things that I love, though, and this is one of the things that attracts me.
	Hold on one second, one second, really quickly.
	Look at Wolf Blitzer.
	Can we bring this up?
	Look at Wolf Blitzer.
	He can't even read Prompter right.
	He can't do it.
	He's looking down like this.
	Now anyone who knows this show knows that I have a prompter, but I don't read a prompter.
	I have a prompter for jokes, to know which topics are coming up, and to know which overlays we're going to be hitting.
	But it's incredibly rare, unless I have something very specific that's a fact that I need to get correct.
	That I have Prompter.
	We can show you at some point what our show map is like.
	We'll release one publicly at some point and you'll see.
	It's like, okay, this point, this point, this point.
	It's a guide.
	But even then, I cannot believe that Wolf Blitzer doesn't know how to read Prompter.
	I see his eyes going down.
	Like, it is just so, such low quality.
	The gap between what is on cable and even what we're doing here right now, and we're going for a feel, right?
	We're going for the pubby kind of relaxed feel.
	It is so minimal.
	So marginal.
	And for hundreds of millions of dollars, I think that's the biggest takeaway for me today, is how much CNN sucks and how much money it costs for them to suck.
	Go ahead, continue.
	It's a lot of money.
	By the way, we have breaking news.
	GOP intensifies attacks to undermine now.
	Undermine?
	It's changed to undermining the Russian investigation.
	What does that tell you, the word undermine?
	That we're doing something illegal.
	No, it assumes the premise.
	It assumes the premise that there's collusion to begin with.
	Oh, okay.
	Yeah, yeah, that's true.
	It assumes there's nothing else.
	You're smarter than I am, and so I didn't know.
	Earlier this morning, you weren't here.
	They said, did the Russians just meddle, or was there collusion?
	I don't accept your premise.
	How about neither?
	Yeah, exactly.
	So right now, GOP intensifies attacks to undermine Russia investigation.
	Now, this is another thing.
	Attacks?
	Does undermine mean, guys, can we stop it with the Russia thing?
	You just had McCabe for 7.5 hours and he said there's not a single source, not a single confirmed report of the Trump dossier.
	And you've had to retract every report you've said on Russia that you've aired.
	You've had to retract so much stuff.
	Not every, of course.
	Right?
	So everything.
	But anyway, this is one of the reasons that I think we need... And one thing, really quick, the irony is they're calling people conspiracy theorists for saying that the Mueller probe, you know, is a campaign against Trump.
	It's like, listen, this is designed to discredit Trump, and they go, you're just a conspiracy theorist.
	Pissing Russian prostitutes?
	You've been running this whole conspiracy about Russia for an entire year!
	How are we the conspiracy theorists for saying, you've had a year, you just had a guy sit down on your desk for seven and a half hours and say none of it's confirmed by the FBI, we think this is probably bullcrap, and you're like, well you're just a conspiracy theorist.
	You told us he was having Russian prostitutes piss on the veneer!
	Okay, go ahead.
	I'm sorry, I've interrupted you like five times.
	No, no, no, you're fine, but it's absolutely true.
	I want to hit one point on that, too.
	I was reading an article recently from somebody who leaned left, and I want to say that it was either New York Times or Washington Post, and he said, no wonder Trump is saying fake news.
	And he listed story after story after story, that they came out, big headlines, and then he listed the story that they had to run to retract it, or the headline that they had to change to make it accurate.
	And it was incredible.
	I hope we can pull something up.
	Maybe not today, but another time.
	It's insane.
	No wonder he thinks that, because every big reveal that comes out turns out to be nothing, or it turns out to be something that's overstated, or it turns out to be something that really doesn't matter, it's not connected to Russia at all.
	Alright, back to what I was saying.
	The big thing, and this is for everybody out there, and if this show ever stops doing that, you gotta find another show.
	It's Act 1711, right?
	Go out and form your own opinion.
	We're gonna give you the facts, we're gonna give you an opinion, but go out and make your own decision based on the evidence.
	And if ever people stop giving you evidence, why would you ever believe them?
	I don't understand how stuff like this works.
	It's a poll.
	Hold on.
	Sources?
	of CNN polls.
	No.
	Hey, Sven, have you seen any sources today that have been like legitimate concrete sources outside of CNN?
	Like, I haven't seen any sources outside of obviously a vote was taken, but it seems to me they just make a bunch of claims and they don't provide the overlays for them.
	They don't provide the sources for them.
	Is it just me?
	Yeah, no, that's not just you, beep beep.
	They just show a clip of something that happened, like the Republicans, on the stairs in front of the White House, and then they just give their opinion to it.
	And then it's a poll.
	Every single time.
	And then there's a poll on it, yeah.
	Alright, listen, guys.
	It's 7 o'clock.
	We're gonna start going into primetime, okay?
	Yeah.
	So, hashtag CrowderCNN live stream.
	Time to step it up, baby.
	Let's go.
	The Crowder heads out there.
	Here's what I want you to do.
	I want you to start sending this to CNN.
	At CNN.
	At Anderson Cooper.
	Start sending this stuff to their hosts.
	With our quotes.
	With our screen grabs.
	With our clips.
	Your photoshops.
	Start sending this to CNN.
	Make sure they know that you see the facade.
	That's what I want to see right now.
	This is... Hold on one second.
	Let's go back to this.
	We can't switch.
	We can't switch.
	Can you switch?
	Alright.
	Let's look at this real quick.
	Let's break this down.
	Breaking news.
	Breaking news.
	FBI officials backed up Comey and claimed that Trump asked for loyalty.
	This is not breaking news!
	Not breaking news.
	Comey claimed that Trump asked for loyalty in June.
	They're saying some anonymous source is backing it up.
	That is what we call a lie.
	It's a lie!
	Straight from the pit of hell, Josephine!
	It's not breaking news!
	You can call it what you want.
	You can say that, hey, maybe, it seems like now some unnamed, and by the way, I don't trust any unnamed sources anymore, do you?
	No, no, not at all.
	I understand protecting your sources, like when it comes to like the Clintons, because they're gonna kill a guy, right?
	But like, when it comes to, it's just, everything is unnamed.
	It's like, well, why does a source need to be unnamed if they're just claiming that some Russian prostitutes peed in front of Donald Trump?
	Yeah.
	Well, and how do you have people vet an unnamed source?
	Like, how do you have this process?
	That was one of the things the article brought up.
	If you use sources like that all the time, you can't have people go in and vet them because then the circle widens too much and the source gets outed.
	I understand rarely, right?
	I understand rarely, like, hey, listen, we just have to keep the sources secret.
	I get it.
	I get it.
	OK, but this is all they do.
	FBI official.
	Do we know at Spend Computer, does anyone know who the FBI official is?
	Wasn't it the deputy, the deputy director?
	I thought they had that on there earlier.
	Do we know who it is?
	Do we know who the FBI official is?
	I want to say it's the Deputy Director, but I could be wrong.
	I haven't seen it.
	I haven't seen it.
	Uh... Hold on, I'm looking right now.
	I'm running some research and Sven's going to have it as an overlay.
	They've been saying this is breaking news.
	GOP intensifies attacks to undermine Russian investigation.
	What does that mean?
	Yeah.
	But they keep throwing that up.
	Okay, hold on, let's be fair.
	Let's listen.
	Let's listen for a second.
	What does it mean, GOP intensifies attacks?
	Let's go, Fat Bela Lugosi.
	But as Manu said, what is key here is, in addition to the contemporaneous notes, there's now a contemporary corroborating with this, basically, to the account.
	I mean, this isn't just James Comey now going to a car and typing up notes to make sure it's No.
	It's not.
	freshly kept right after the event.
	It is also that he shared with a senior official inside the FBI.
	Those two things together build credibility around what Comey says occurred.
	So I think that is no doubt a significant development.
	No, it's not.
	When you look at the CNN poll, it appears that Republicans...
	If you look at our internal poll from our Facebook page... - Among remote-- You don't need to keep the volume on this.
	That's okay, Edward.
	I'll let you know when we need to bring it down.
	Thank you, though.
	Breaking news!
	GOP intensifies attacks to undermine Russia probe.
	We haven't actually defined intensifies.
	We haven't defined attacks.
	Russia investigation down from 28% last month.
	Breaking news.
	GOP intensifies attacks to undermine Russia probe.
	We haven't actually defined intensifies.
	We haven't defined attacks.
	We haven't defined undermining.
	And then 61% of Americans say investigation is a serious matter.
	We haven't even defined serious matter.
	Do you see those general terms there in a poll and how that can be 0% indicative?
	Yeah, 100%.
	If I watched this and I had no idea what was going on in this country and I wanted to figure something out, I'd be like, oh, the GOP is a bunch of jerks that are attacking people that are just trying to get the truth.
	That's what I would think.
	And 61% of Americans would agree that this is a serious matter and we should just let things play out.
	And that's not really what's going on at all.
	Okay, so I have this from Reg right now.
	So this guy on the left is Manu Raju, and he's the one who aired the fake news story last week about Trump Jr.
	and WikiLeaks.
	And now he's the one saying you gotta believe the unnamed sources.
	And Trump Jr., obviously, that turned out to be absolutely nothing.
	Oh, it was nothing?
	Like, absolutely.
	Do not say nothing, Berger, or you'll be kicked out.
	I didn't say it.
	I know.
	And I said absolutely.
	I should never say absolutely.
	That's okay.
	But, nothing.
	There's nothing wrong with absolutely.
	I know you don't want to be on this show.
	It's absolutely wrong.
	But that's the guy who posted the fake Trump Jr.
	story.
	The Indian guy.
	He's reasonable.
	Here's another Democrat, by the way.
	Another Democrat.
	There's been that one Republican from Missouri that did not have a hairdo on.
	And then the other one.
	Rick Santorum.
	That's it, I think.
	No, they had that, the guy who thought I had a hairpiece.
	Blunt.
	That's what I said, I said the guy from Missouri that did not have a hairpiece.
	I didn't.
	Oh, same guy.
	Well, they'll have politicians on because no one likes politicians.
	I know, but it's Democrats, like everything you hear.
	It's not balanced at all.
	Are they talking about McCabe?
	Is McCabe the one who's saying that Comey said Trump asked for loyalty?
	Sun Computer, is that what we're talking about?
	Is McCabe the one who's saying that Comey said Trump asked for loyalty?
	Send computer?
	Is that what we're talking about?
	A Mueller investigation or just an effort to...
	Okay.
	So this isn't new.
	That would have been said yesterday.
	Right.
	Yes.
	Right?
	That's in his testimony yesterday.
	So again, it's not breaking news.
	This is why I was confused.
	I knew that McCabe said that.
	Yeah.
	But I didn't think he's...
	This is what we're talking about with something McCabe said yesterday.
	And he was asked...
	It seems as though Republicans' tactics...
	Okay, I'm looking right here.
	I'm reading up on this.
	Yeah, okay.
	McCabe was questioned for 7.5 hours.
	He had no evidence in the Trump dossier, nothing confirmed.
	And then he said, like, yeah, Comey did tell me at one time that Trump asked him for loyalty basically at a dinner party.
	That's what you want.
	I mean, not like loyalty.
	You're making it sound like he's trying, he's going to break the law to be loyal.
	And maybe he did, but we don't know if he did.
	Right.
	But even if it was just loyalty, it wasn't blind loyalty.
	It wasn't illegal loyalty.
	It was just loyalty.
	Like, hey man, be loyal to me in this office with what you do in your job.
	Okay.
	So I want to make sure I have this correct.
	And Sven, computer, correct me if I'm wrong, because I am very misinformed from having watched this now for how long?
	How long?
	I've been doing it since... You're gonna have to scrub your brain for a week.
	More than 11 hours.
	Okay.
	They are now saying, breaking news, FBI official backs up Comey's claim that Trump asked for loyalty.
	I want to read their headline and what this actually means is breaking news.
	Yesterday, McCabe, under questioning for 7.5 hours, who said there was not a scrap of evidence for the Trump dossier, did in fact confirm that James Comey told him once Trump asked Comey for loyalty.
	Do I have that correct?
	Yes, PP.
	Clearly that's the story here, PP.
	Do you think their concern is warranted at all?
	Can we bring back in the carolers?
	I don't even care if it's the one who doesn't want to sing for me.
	This is terrible.
	Or at least a Mothra ammunition?
	No, no, no.
	Well, here's the thing.
	Think about this for a second.
	For those who are just tuning in, there was a caroler here today who bawled her eyes out, refused to come in and perform for me.
	Think about this for a second.
	If she's watching CNN, of course she thinks I'm a monster.
	She thinks that Pence is a monster.
	Paul Ryan is a monster.
	If you're watching CNN, look how false it is!
	How do you argue against this?
	When people blame me for dressing up like a tranny and Wendy Davis for dividing the country... Like, here's the thing.
	I don't think anybody... When we do the really absurd stuff, the really offensive stuff, right?
	Not gay Jared?
	Yeah.
	When we do the really absurd offensive stuff, I don't think anybody...
	Who wasn't going to be offended anyway.
	He's going, that's it.
	I'm divided.
	I'm never talking.
	No, I think people go like, all right, that's him doing his thing.
	He's a comedian every now and then he goes too far.
	But what will divide the country is a constant morphine drip of lies and bias, violation all day, every day.
	It's been Trump is corrupt.
	Republicans are helping with corruption.
	They want 9 million tiny Tim's to die.
	They don't care about the middle class.
	The wealthy only get the tax breaks.
	And the truth is, There's no evidence of the corruption.
	Nine million tiny Tims will not die.
	And as a matter of fact, no one wants to defund Chip.
	And as a matter of fact, 80% of Americans will get tax breaks.
	By the way, also something you're not talking about, the Muslim in Australia blew people up.
	Because he said there was mistreatment of Muslims.
	Yeah, and maybe he heard.
	He didn't blow people up, he ran them over with his toaster.
	Alright, you can turn it down now a little bit, sound guy Edward.
	I was just, I wanted to see, I wanted to listen for a little bit and see if they had something.
	Maybe we were going to get something good.
	Oh my god.
	Senator Mark Warner again with nothing.
	I don't know why he signed up for this.
	You should have just done waterboarding.
	Do we have a game or something to break up?
	I'm going to have to eat dinner soon.
	Do we have an interview coming up here soon?
	Oh, Ben Shapiro in three minutes.
	Okay, and then I'm going to do... Is Clint Howard a no-go?
	Clint Howard, I think, is a no-go at this point.
	He's not very Skype savvy.
	We usually do FaceTime, but we don't have FaceTime.
	Oh, shoot.
	Oh, well.
	It's okay.
	Well, hold on a second.
	We're about 10 minutes out.
	I need to get dinner at some point.
	I need to eat something.
	Can someone even just bring me something that I can eat?
	Yeah.
	I can just, I just can't leave because I have to, oh, you know what?
	Here, hold on a second.
	Ben is, hold on a second.
	Let me see this.
	At 615.
	Wait, Ben is going to be in 10 minutes?
	No.
	Uh, three.
	Three minutes.
	Oh, never mind then.
	So you should be good?
	Alright, after Ben, but then Clavin's... I have to do Clavin right after Ben?
	There's a little break, I think.
	They're so fast!
	Alright, okay, that's fine.
	Not that I don't want to have Andrew Clavin, I need to get some... I think I'm out of water here.
	Here, give me your water.
	No, I think... I have some water, I'm good.
	My throat definitely hurts.
	I brought wine and all you want is water.
	I understand.
	Oh, you know what?
	I do... You know what?
	If you can grab a bottle of water...
	That'll be fine.
	Thank you, sir.
	Sorry, because I have to host this stupid show.
	You guys, I don't know why you're still watching.
	I hate you for it, but I love you for it.
	Lodworthcutter.com slash MudClub, please join.
	I don't know why you put me through this.
	Let's go back to the thing of you just forming a union against yourself at some point.
	It's the only logical result of all this.
	Okay, keep talking, because I...
	Keep talking.
	There's nothing to talk about in this news.
	It's just the worst stuff ever.
	Sven Computer and Jared, keep talking here.
	Sven, you're in a better position over there because you can actually see the television.
	I can't.
	Yeah.
	I've never been jealous of you in my entire life, but at this moment.
	That's why I'm so relaxed.
	Beep beep.
	I can see that.
	Can you imagine working in the environment of CNN?
	That must be really tough, you know?
	Because I think you're just so trapped in your little chamber then.
	Yeah.
	Chapter what?
	The little echo chamber.
	Oh, I thought you said chambered in.
	I'm like, is that a German gas kind of thing?
	I could see that.
	All about the chambers.
	I don't know, I can feel like it would just be a really, um... Oh my god, is this what you guys do when I'm gone?
	This right here?
	This is awful.
	Awful conversation?
	Someone swallow a knife!
	Throw a piece of food at somebody!
	Do something!
	It just got awkward when I started talking about chambers and I realized what I just said.
	Talking about chambers, it kind of got derailed a little bit, Steven.
	Then we have Ben coming on next.
	Hold on a second here.
	I don't want to wait on Ben because I have to get some water because I have to keep up with this motor mouth.
	My throat feels like I spent New Year's Eve drunk on lemon.
	Or Anderson Cooper.
	Take your pick.
	Hey Gerald!
	You know what?
	Hold on one second.
	Keep it going.
	I'm just going to pour some water in here.
	You got it.
	You got time.
	- We can go nowhere.
	We're good. - All right, hold on one second. - More Liberty Mutual.
	We're not missing anything.
	See, one thing I think is amazing is that... They... They... They... No thanks, man.
	I'm good.
	It's why you're so happy, though.
	- I'm never late.
	- Does anyone else need water?
	Do you need water?
	- No thanks.
	- I'm good.
	- You sure you don't want water?
	- No.
	- You're just drinking Red Bull.
	You're disgusting.
	- That's why I'm so happy though.
	Looks so chipper.
	- What were you saying, Sven?
	- I'm level-headed.
	I just think it's amazing that CNN has recycled this McCabe story so much today.
	They actually thought for a second that it was a new story.
	Like a new old story they brought up.
	But in fact, they just bring up breaking news with the same story with kind of different headlines.
	From yesterday!
	It was like Al Franken.
	It said, from earlier.
	When you run a story on news that says from earlier, I don't think anybody in their right mind would assume that means yesterday.
	Yeah.
	All right, do we have Shapiro?
	We have Shapiro.
	All right, Mr. Shapiro, sir, can you hear me slash see me?
	Oh, I'm here, and I can see you wearing your crazy outfit, and you're not getting waterboarded this year, so this is not nearly as interesting as it was last year.
	I am not, and I will say this, crazy enough, I'm 12 hours in, but you look more tired than me, so you must just be unhappy.
	Well, I mean, you can always guarantee that's a true thing.
	I mean, that is always true.
	But also, I've been up since like some crazy hour, and I was up a crazy hour yesterday.
	Oh, yeah, did you have to watch all of Wolf Blitzer?
	Dude, I mean, I'm sorry.
	It's hard for me to feel bad for you.
	You are literally living the life of a welfare queen right now.
	You're literally sitting on a couch, watching television all day, and then bitching about it.
	By the way, this is my welfare charity belt.
	It's not Mari.
	All right, let me ask you this, Ben Shapiro, Mr. Smartass, Mr. Smarmy Little, ooh, our capital needs to be in Jerusalem.
	All right, let me ask you this.
	Would you rather be waterboarded or watch 16 hours of CNN?
	I'm not as brave as you.
	I'd rather watch 16 Hours of CNN.
	Really?
	I thought you took waterboarding like a man, but I'll be honest with you, that did not look pleasant.
	I'll tell you this, I've been really looking forward to getting you on.
	Ben, you obviously are one of our favorite, people love you on the show, you're one of my favorite guests.
	Why were you up so early?
	Is this because of work or because of the little ones?
	Ben Shapiro is a father, by the way.
	I was in that because, so yesterday I was up at like 4 o'clock Eastern time because I was speaking at a TPUSA event, flew back, did my show, hosted for Mark Levin, and then this morning I was up hosting for Glenn Beck.
	So it's been, and then I did my show again.
	So it's been like every hour has been a broadcast hour in the last 24.
	Here, Ben, you can just recycle the same one topic.
	I wish I could do that.
	I was so close to saying, you know what, let's just take yesterday's show and recut it like a little bit and then I can just sleep.
	Yeah, we couldn't do it.
	Ben, I have to do this because I do this with each guest because I know obviously you haven't been watching all of it, but hit list here today from CNN.
	And the reason we did this for people who are watching right now is because I said this is the only way to prove how biased CNN is.
	It's the bias by And also because you are the worst masochist I have ever met in my entire life.
	And every year you have to come up with some new way to torture yourself.
	Oh, you should see my closet.
	That's a fair point.
	The walk-in closet.
	It's a closet by definition only.
	Next year, folks, show up as Stephen Crowder jumps on an IED for Christmas.
	Well, here's the thing, because I really think the lies by omission are what are so corrosive.
	They choose not to cover what their dishonest... Like, Keith Olbermann doesn't bother me.
	He's going to drape himself on the American flag and blubber about Republicans.
	I get it.
	So let me just kind of give you a hit list here, really quickly, breakdown.
	And then, uh, then we can go through it.
	So, right away they start off the day by stoking the Russia hysteria, the idea that Trump was going to fire Mueller, even though he's... Mueller.
	Mueller.
	Even though he said he wasn't.
	They had Adam Schiff on regarding the Mueller probe.
	See, my brain is mush now, twelve hours in.
	Nine months he's been talking about this, no evidence.
	No mention.
	Not a single reference to Uranium One.
	Never.
	Today.
	It's been trending number one on Twitter.
	No reference to this show, which was trending number three on Twitter.
	They said the TRIP program, Republicans were going to kill 9 million tiny Timbs.
	Then, no mention of the Melbourne attacker, Afghani Signore, being Muslim, nor being Afghani, nor saying that it was because of mistreatment of Muslims.
	They had Simone D. Sanders on to talk about the Mueller probe, who mocked Trump supporters being beaten by a black mob.
	No mention at all of the 1995 Israel vote.
	Of course, the fact that basically the embassy is supposed to have been in Jerusalem.
	It was supposed to be in Jerusalem in May 1999.
	Every single president, Clinton, Bush, Obama, Donald Trump, all said they would recognize the Capitol being in Jerusalem.
	No mention of that.
	No mention of the short-term funding from Republicans to January 9th, so there wouldn't be a government shutdown.
	Then when they finally put that through, and now we're kicking it to the Senate where it'll probably happen, They just said, oh, the House votes to not shut down, and they only devoted 45 seconds to that when they admitted that I think that the Tiny Tims, 9 million people won't have to die.
	Also, finally, breaking news, Ben.
	Breaking news, Bannon said Bush 43 is one of the most destructive presidencies.
	I knew it was BS.
	That was actually from October.
	So this is their hit list thus far.
	Are you trying to say they're bad at their jobs?
	Did you think it was this bad?
	You know, I have been, unfortunately, in the gym when the only thing on the television was CNN.
	And the good news is it makes you so angry that you actually power lift.
	Like, all of a sudden I was lifting like Crowder.
	But the bad news is that you're watching CNN, and I will say that when you watch CNN for any length of time, what you see is that you are doing breaking... First of all, the number one thing is they'll say, breaking news, then they will repeat a headline they literally said 35 seconds ago.
	That's exactly what they're doing right now!
	Yeah, this is Wolf Blitzer's particular specialty.
	He's really great.
	What I love particularly about Wolf is that Wolf plays the kind of innocent, I just stumbled into a political show and I don't know anything better than anyone on TV.
	It really is incredible.
	He'll be in the middle and be like, so you're at a house called the White House.
	Thank you for that.
	Now this house you live in, President Trump, it's white, correct?
	Yeah, that's pretty much all of Wolf Blitzer's show.
	And the Russian hysteria.
	I mean, I don't know if Adam Schiff has a real job.
	I mean, obviously he doesn't.
	He just basically sits on the CNN set for nine hours a day and waits for them to cut to him desperately hoping against hope that now will be his time to shine.
	But I've never seen anybody appear on CNN as often as I've seen Adam Schiff.
	One second, let me pause you.
	Because right now it says, new tonight, Brennan calls Trump narcissistic vengeful.
	They literally talked about that tweet four hours ago, but right now it says, new tonight.
	Just like it did with breaking news.
	It said breaking news, and it was Al Franken's speech from yesterday.
	And then it said earlier.
	Ben, you've been in news more so, obviously than entertainment for a long time, worked on radio.
	What's the shelf life on saying breaking news, or like, when I see something on news that says earlier, I always assume it was earlier that day.
	Not like two or three days old.
	They do this all the time.
	Yeah, I mean, they'll usually use breaking news.
	They shouldn't use breaking news for more than maybe an hour or two.
	Senate just passed, by the way, Senate just passed a stopgap spending bill, just so you know.
	Right now, just kick it to Trump's desk.
	So it's done.
	Go ahead.
	Well, I guess that we, once again, we were this close to all dying.
	I mean, we've all died several times in the last weeks, right?
	If you haven't died, it's net neutrality.
	After net neutrality, you know, I woke up this morning, I hopped in my car, I looked around, and it was after the tax bill had passed, and I looked around, there was no one on the roads, I figured I was the only one left alive, and then I realized it was just 5.15 in the morning.
	Who the hell is out on the roads at 5.15 in the morning?
	This is the way that they cover the news.
	Yeah, I mean, CNN's coverage, particularly on, you know, the Middle East issues, is pretty astonishing.
	I did see, I, maybe, well, I'm sure you saw it.
	So you tell me, I heard that Jake Tapper actually did a decent monologue on the UN and their bias against Israel.
	So was that true?
	I will tell you what, when he turned on, I think we had a guest who came in, or I was playing with my nipples.
	No wait, that was where, I have a hole in my sternum here, and no one believed me, so we tried to see, I have an inverted sternum, so I was trying to see how many coffee beans we could fit in my sternum.
	Take a guess!
	208 coffee beans can fit in my sternum.
	What am I doing with my life?
	What have I done wrong?
	Maybe we are all dead and this is hell.
	I'm literally on a show where I'm guessing the number of coffee beans one of my friends can fit in his inverted sternum.
	You don't need to guess anymore, Ben.
	You know what?
	That's it.
	I'm converting to Christianity because obviously I was not saved enough to avoid this fate.
	We're clearly happier!
	Well, let me ask you, Ben, because CNN isn't giving us any crap.
	I have a smile that's crossing my face.
	It's amazing.
	I've avoided the pogroms and I get to celebrate with the jury.
	This is a long day for us.
	Let me ask you, Trump-Russia deal right now.
	When you were on the show, a lot of people know that you don't like Trump.
	They go, ah, Ben's a never-Trumper.
	But when you were on this show, you even said, no, I don't think Trump had anything to do with the Russians.
	I think some, like Paul Manafort, people like that.
	You said, I think people like that obviously did some things that were dishonest.
	But with this investigation, I mean, seven and a half hours with McCabe yesterday and nothing.
	Now they're trying to say breaking news.
	Comey said Trump asked for loyalty.
	Listen, you're not a Trump fan.
	Is there anything new here for CNN to warrant being on the Russia probe all day nope there's there hasn't been anything new for months and and i don't really think that there's any i mean i have been saying for months i don't think there's anything there other than ancillary activity by man i mean i actually named what i thought was happening right i said there might be ancillary activity by manafort and flynn and i named the players because if you're watching this at all you can see who are the guys who are most likely to get swept up in this and it was never trump no it was It was never going to be Trump.
	And as far as the idea that, you know, I dislike Trump, you know, I dislike his personality.
	Sure.
	I think that's not a presidential personality.
	He does silly things.
	But I've said since the election that I am sometimes Trump, right?
	Gorsuch?
	After the election was over, then it's, I mean, I coined good Trump, bad Trump.
	Good Trump, bad Trump is a Shapiro creation.
	I will claim credit for that.
	We have a theme song.
	And so the last three weeks has been really good Trump.
	Really good Trump.
	And last week, particularly, has been terrific Trump.
	Yeah.
	I mean, I can't help but love it when the man tells the UN to go F itself.
	I mean, that's just spectacular.
	Yeah, well, here's the thing, because a lot of people say, oh, he's a globalist cuck, right?
	I think, wouldn't we both agree that Trump's saying, all right, you vote basically to admonish the United States.
	That's all the UN vote was, right?
	It was chastising.
	It was trying to embarrass the United States.
	There's nothing binding there.
	Nothing's going to happen.
	Isn't it totally reasonable to say, OK, you want to vote to try and just, you want to chastise us?
	No more money.
	Yeah, exactly.
	It's great.
	I mean, I think it's great.
	And Nikki Haley at the UN... Angry Nikki Haley is my spirit animal.
	That's sexy, Nikki Haley.
	I'm not going to lie.
	Angry Nikki Haley is... Angry Nikki Haley makes me want to put coffee beans in my sternum.
	If you know what I mean.
	If you know what I mean.
	No, no, continue the one.
	We just shut Ben Shapiro up!
	We just shut Ben Shapiro up!
	Ben Shapiro's at a loss for words.
	Ben, take it!
	You've accomplished something magnificent today.
	With my Walther chastity belt!
	Okay, go ahead.
	This is a Walther, by the way, a sponsor.
	It's actually a Walther appendix carry, but it just looks like a chastity belt under this lighting.
	But you gotta admit, you gotta admit that one.
	But yeah, Nikki Haley.
	Okay, you win.
	I like Nikki Haley a lot.
	You think she's potentially presidential material?
	It's hard to see how she's not.
	I mean, she's obviously well-spoken, and she does have a gravitas that I thought she lacked, actually, in politics until her performance at the UN in recent months.
	So that's been terrific.
	Obviously, I think Trump's tax plan is quite good.
	I think that he's stayed off Twitter.
	He hasn't gotten in a fight with LeVar Ball, so he gets affirmative action points for that.
	He doesn't, every time, President Trump, when it comes to, you know, what he does, if he's not getting in a fight with a low IQ human being, then that is a positive, a real positive for him.
	I mean, I've been saying on my show, go on vacation now.
	You know, Mr. President, you've had a couple of good weeks.
	Now's a perfect time.
	Go golf.
	Turn off your phone.
	Have yourself a Shabbos.
	No TV, no phone.
	Just go away for a couple of weeks.
	If Trump deprives the left of the tweets, they're not going to be able to talk about anything except rehash this Russian stuff, which is a big nothing.
	And not only is it a big nothing, there is significantly more evidence that the Obama administration was colluding with Russia.
	Over Hezbollah, then there is that Trump was colluding with Russia to win the election.
	Sure.
	That's the real under-told story of the last couple of weeks, is that Politico story that just blows the lid off of the Obama administration basically saying it's fine that Hezbollah is smuggling drugs and murdering people so long as they can get the Iran deal done.
	Yeah, well obviously not.
	Uranium One has been trending all day for a reason, and not to do the but Hillary thing.
	Here's the one thing, with Donald Trump, like we've talked about, I don't think Trump has had anything to do with Russia.
	The problem with Donald Trump and Russia, like you said, is his tweeting, is his talking about it.
	Here's the thing, the truth, as it comes out, is better and better for Donald Trump, but it gets overshadowed by him getting a little bit nervous, gets a little trigger happy, and then goes after someone on Twitter.
	It's like, listen, if you said nothing and waited two months, this is all pretty good.
	The fact that McKay was Totally agree.
	I think he may be starting to figure that out because, you know, a few weeks ago there was talk that he was going to fire Mueller, and now he's saying, I'm not going to fire Mueller, which is the smart move, because here's the deal.
	If Mueller comes forward with anything against Trump, we're all going to say, well, that The investigation was flawed from the very beginning.
	I mean, we're going to have to take that into account now because the Mueller investigation was filled with anti-Trump people, some of whom were legitimately texting each other while having an affair that they had an insurance policy against Trump becoming president.
	We're all going to have to take a serious look at that, no matter what they find.
	And then if they find nothing, then he's off the hook.
	So I think that Trump is starting to figure that out.
	The real question now is, is this Is new Trump here, right?
	Is this new Trump?
	Have people figured out how to box him in?
	You know, you praise him a lot, you do the Mike Pence routine, you say nice things about him, you surround him with people who are giving him good advice, and then you praise him and tell him to go golfing.
	And that's fine.
	If that's the way this is going to work, then maybe we have a couple of really good years here at the very least.
	Or is this going to be another one of these instances where we get a really high high and a really low low, right?
	What comes next?
	And we're not going to know that until after the new year, I hope at least.
	I hope that he doesn't do anything next week because God, we need a vacation.
	Come on.
	Well, I think I think it's a good point.
	I think a lot of people understand that you can have both.
	I think, well, if you you're just going to muzzle him and you're going to take away what made Trump what people like.
	Actually, that's not really true.
	So a good example, because people often like like Steve Bannon.
	I mean, Steve Bannon, it's funny.
	He's like, I'm a street brawler.
	OK, Steve.
	But to use the example of fighter, A lot of people say Mike Tyson was a brawler.
	Actually, Mike Tyson was a pure talent, raw power.
	This is an analogy.
	I know it sounds, but this is an analogy.
	It's pretty important.
	A lot of people know Kamado, right?
	People go back to his original trainer.
	When he died, it fell apart for Mike Tyson.
	Mike Tyson was a physical specimen, but Mike Tyson wasn't a brawler.
	Mike Tyson was a guy with crazy power and speed, and he learned a style of peekaboo boxing, which was hyperly technical.
	So what did that do?
	That allowed Mike Tyson to defend himself, and then when the opportunity arose, And destroy people because he learned how to keep himself safe until then.
	That's the same thing with Donald Trump.
	Listen, you can be Donald Trump when the U.N. tries to embarrass you.
	That's when we want you to you can tell them to go F themselves for all I care.
	What we want you.
	But that only holds water if you remain silent when the truth would vindicate you.
	So I think people think it's one or the other.
	It would be better for him in the sense of being a better Trump.
	And it would be better for everyone because I like a lot of the policy.
	I mean, I was asked by a member of the Trump administration recently to grade them, and I said, I'll give you guys an A-minus on executive policy.
	This is before they passed the tax bill, so I said C-minus on negotiations with Congress.
	Now that's probably a C or a C+.
	And in terms of rhetoric, I'll give you guys an F, because the problem is that Every time you do something great, within five minutes you're doing something stupid again.
	If you could get that F up to a B, this looks like a pretty good administration, right?
	If suddenly all the boo-boos go away, like I did an entire list of his accomplishments versus his drawbacks, and nearly all of the accomplishments are substantive, and nearly all the drawbacks are rhetorical.
	Nearly all the drawbacks are things like Charlottesville, or him getting in stupid Twitter fights with people, or him deciding that he's just gonna rip on LeVar Ball for a year.
	You know, all this kind of stuff detracts from what has been a presidency that's actually gotten some things done.
	And it's actually important now.
	People are saying, well, you know, why can't you just filter that out?
	You know, you Shapiro, you Kremlin, why can't you guys just filter that out?
	Filter out the stuff that he says and just watch the stuff that he does.
	And the reason is because what he says actually matters.
	He's the president of the United States.
	Right.
	And right now, the Democrats, he's he's gotten a great year of economics.
	He's gotten a good tax bill passed.
	He's done really well in foreign policy.
	ISIS is basically done.
	He's done really well on a lot of fronts, and his approval rating is 37%, and it's D plus 18 on the general congressional ballot.
	Right.
	Which says to me that it ain't about the policy, it's about people don't like him.
	So that means that he better do something to turn that around.
	It's also because of things like you see with CNN.
	CNN goes, breaking news, internal poll, people don't like Donald Trump, it becomes a self... Breaking news!
	Most Americans don't think they're going to get a tax break.
	80% of Americans are going to get a tax break.
	So it's really hard to go by polls or approval rating because of the self-fulfilling prophecy that is CNN.
	But I will say this, today they said earlier, Al Franken, they meant yesterday.
	Today they said FBI official, they meant McCabe, they meant that was yesterday.
	They've been recycling stories.
	And here's the thing, very little of it has directly involved Donald Trump, because like you said, we've had good Trump, and so it's a fire that if he just stops giving it oxygen, CNN will embarrass themselves.
	Today has been, I will tell you this, the difference in quality between cable news, for example, CNN, and your show, or even late night and our show, is so minimal now, it's shocking.
	I'm amazed they have an entire research department and they've gotten so much wrong today.
	Your research department is you and, like, one other person helping you produce.
	With us, we have Sven Computer and a guy named Reg who does it remotely.
	I think, if nothing else, today has shown us how much money they spend on sucking and being dishonest.
	And if Trump just stops giving them oxygen, you know, they can only have so many days of news like this, Ben, until CNN goes under.
	I agree.
	And I also think that you may be the only person in America who's ever watched more than 15 minutes of CNN.
	I mean, really, I think that one of the reasons they can keep recycling the news is because I would say probably the average time spent watching is maybe half an hour, 15 minutes.
	Oh, no, no, no.
	Half an hour would be off the chart spent.
	I guarantee it's like eight or less.
	So if somebody's watching your show, they're going to watch three hours of your show, right?
	I mean, they'll watch the whole thing on YouTube, or they'll watch an hour of it, like a big segment.
	When people listen to my show, they listen to the entire thing.
	They're listening to 45 minutes to an hour of content.
	And at the speed I speak, that's like an hour and 15 of content.
	You know, if you watch it, and I'm not repeating myself, but if you watch CNN, the content repeats.
	And this is not rare, right?
	In time-bound media, where you're, like, live radio, this is true also, in any live setting, you tend to repeat yourself a lot because you only want to hit the top-line stuff.
	You want to hit the stuff that's going to grab people's attention.
	If they're just tuning in right now, it's sort of a rule.
	When there's no news to actually recycle, you just end up recycling crap from eight months ago.
	And right now, the last thing they want to talk about is the actual news.
	Because if they were talking about the actual news, the actual headlines today are Nikki Haley just destroying people at the UN.
	It's the fallout from the tax reform, which includes a bunch of companies coming out and saying they're going to give bonuses to people.
	Like, they don't want to report that.
	So they'd rather report on garbage that was rumored to be damaged.
	Hold on.
	More than that.
	Boeing, uh, was it AT&T?
	Several companies are raising their minimum to 15.
	Oh, AT&T, Comcast, yeah, that's right.
	Yeah, there were a bunch of them.
	I'm trying to remember, uh, it was, uh, Wells Fargo.
	Wells Fargo, that's right.
	Remember the fight for 15, the protest.
	Nakajara had signed up, by the way.
	It was a fake.
	The SEIU would show up, take some pictures.
	He was never actually notified when the rallies would take place.
	No, I get emails all the time, but they never actually take place.
	It's just anecdotal stories of nothingness.
	So there are two ways to skin a cat.
	Raise the death tax to 68%, raise taxes on businesses from the highest corporate tax rate in the industrialized world, or, as we see right now with this bill, give people more of their money.
	And guess what?
	You got your fight for 15!
	But there's nothing on it!
	Nothing!
	Nothing all day!
	This is my favorite thing that happened.
	This is my favorite thing that happened yesterday, was Chuck Schumer going out there and ripping AT&T, saying that the proof positive that corporate tax rates will not help companies is that AT&T only pays an 8% corporate tax rate, but they've not increased their employment for the last several years.
	And as he's saying that, on the split screen, AT&T is announcing that they're gonna give $1,000 bonuses to all of their employees and increase employment.
	That was pretty spectacular.
	So he doesn't realize what's happening.
	I mean, the Democrats are so shocked and appalled, and they don't know what line to take on this tax cut, because the tax cut's gonna be relatively popular, because people are getting money back.
	There's never been a tax cut that's unpopular in the United States before this one, and so this one will flip as well.
	Yeah.
	So they're going crazy, and you're seeing Nancy Pelosi, as you mentioned, talking about Tiny Tim and getting that story completely wrong.
	Completely wrong.
	Or talking today about Frankenstein and getting that story completely wrong.
	I legitimately at this point don't know if Nancy Pelosi knows how to read, because she's cited two great pieces of world literature.
	I think she once could, but she hasn't blinked in eight years.
	My eyes are so watery, I can't see through the filter!
	It's like a fishbowl in front of my iPad, son of a bitch!
	Why is the whole world anamorphic?
	Okay, Ben, let me just follow up, because I know we have to go.
	We have Clayton coming on soon.
	Thank you so much.
	Honestly, this is our last show of the year.
	You are one of our favorite guests on this show, as much crap as you give me and I give you.
	My favorite moment of today, okay?
	And then I want to hear your favorite moment of the year.
	My favorite moment of today is when people came out and talked about how Apple is slowing down old phones, and minds were blown on Twitter when I said, by the way, Tim Cook was a big supporter of net neutrality.
	So it's like to me, it's like, hold on a second, you thought they were altruistic along with Facebook, Twitter, Google.
	They're for the little guy.
	And by the way, it's not like it's justifiable.
	Like for example, if, if, uh, for, if I don't know, our, our internet provider said, Hey, listen, you're streaming HD all day for 16 hours.
	We're going to have to charge you a little more than your basic plan.
	I'd be okay with it.
	In this case, Apple is just slowing down phones regard just because they want you to buy new phones.
	And, uh, that's my favorite.
	That's actually more work for them.
	It's pretty good.
	That's pretty solid.
	In the last 48 hours, I have to say, my favorite thing was definitely my exchange with Rosie O'Donnell.
	Oh, that's true.
	Tell people who don't know, with Rosie O'Donnell, didn't she tell you to blow her?
	My good friend Rosie O'Donnell, she tweeted out that she wanted to bribe a bunch of Republican senators not to vote for the tax bill.
	This was Tuesday evening.
	And I tweeted out, like, Rosie, this is called federal bribery, right?
	I'm under 18 USC.
	Yeah, 201B, I believe it is.
	This is a federal crime punishable by three times the amount you're trying to bribe to the federal government and 15 years in prison.
	So you might want to back off of that.
	And then I tweeted that President Obama, if he initiated an actual investigation and prosecution into Rosie O'Donnell, would immediately deserve to have his face etched into Rushmore.
	That we would actually just start the carving tomorrow if he locks up Rosie O'Donnell.
	So Rosie O'Donnell tweeted at me, To suck her dick was the actual line.
	But hold on a second!
	I'm gonna have that on repeat because Ben, you can see how uncomfortable he was, but he knew he had to repeat it for a fake thing.
	Rosie O'Donnell said to suck her dick.
	It was like me eating a banana earlier.
	There's no way around it.
	Just, you're in deep.
	Continue.
	Go.
	This show is, oh man, just terrible.
	In any case, so Rosie O'Donnell, so then I tweet back at Rosie O'Donnell and I want to get the exact quote because I was very proud of myself.
	What I actually tweeted back to her was, quote, You're already a felon, Rosie.
	Don't be a homophobic sexual harasser, too.
	And then I followed that up.
	Hashtag me too.
	Can you imagine if Harvey, if they ever found out that Harvey Weinstein had said that?
	Like, it would be, it's just Rosie O'Donnell.
	It's everything rolled into, it's homophobia, it's transphobia, it's sexual harassment.
	You could make the case that it's anti-Semitism.
	I mean, I wouldn't, but for fun.
	I wouldn't go there, but it's definitely me too.
	Listen.
	I did nothing to deserve this.
	I was just sitting there minding my own business and talking about the law and saying that President Trump should lock her up.
	That's all I was saying.
	And all of a sudden, I find myself, you know, in a position where somebody is trying to force me to perform sexual acts that are anatomically impossible given her actual genetics.
	And so I find this really troubling.
	Wrong place, wrong time.
	You were Rosie O'Donnell's potted plant, Ben.
	I'm sorry.
	It was just in the cards for you.
	Okay, Ben, before we go, what has been your favorite moment of the year?
	I guess 2017, big year.
	Obviously, recently, Rosie O'Donnell.
	Do you have one that sticks out?
	Favorite moment of the year?
	I mean, favorite political moment of the year?
	I have to say, I really have been enjoying this last week.
	So the Nikki Haley moment at the UN, basically telling them to go F themselves, I think that ranks really, really high on the list.
	But it's hard to... I mean, the news cycle moves so fast that if you had asked me this three days ago, it would have been something within the three days before that, because it's just...
	Crazy stuff has been happening all year, and the favorite stuff for me has not been all the stuff that's been happening with me, like the Berkeley thing.
	I thought, by the way, one of my favorite moments of the year was you guys infiltrating Antifa at University of Utah, right?
	Oh, thank you.
	That was definitely high on the list.
	That's also because we potentially saved your life.
	That too.
	I mean, I'm grateful for that.
	But you hold my life in your hand.
	So on the one hand, you'll try to save my life with that.
	On the other hand, you'll bring me on your show, and you'll nearly kill me with talk of your inverted sternum.
	Yes, it's true.
	This is just the games that we play here on Latinx Radio.
	This is absolutely true.
	So there you go.
	Ben Shapiro is 10-second Tom of the news cycle, the most recent news cycle.
	Were you going to say something?
	No, I was going to say my throat.
	All right.
	Well, listen, Ben Shapiro.
	And by the way, his Tumblr isn't all that bad.
	I mean, if you can get past the stomach cancer.
	It does travel well.
	But Ben Shapiro, DailyWire.com, the Ben Shapiro Show, and so the war begins.
	Ben, thank you so much, brother.
	And have a happy Hanukkah and a happy New Year.
	We appreciate you.
	You too.
	And your mug ain't that bad either.
	I mean, I even used it to pee in the other day.
	Well, thank you, I appreciate it.
	By the way, little known fact, in a pop-up tent... Yeah?
	Yeah, the tumbler's one hell of a porta-potty.
	Ben, thank you very much!
	We will see you... No, hang up on him, sound guy.
	Edward, he doesn't get to get a comeback after that.
	That's a parting shot.
	We're bringing a snack for you now, because we're going to bring in Klaven in a few minutes.
	And then we have a surprise performance.
	Okay, I need to get a snack.
	Hold on one second here, let me...
	Snack is coming in, uh, in time now.
	And, uh, Jill Stein's been on, I don't know if you noticed.
	I'm really worried.
	I'm really worried that the snack is either gonna be, like, pure bourbon or something, because you want me to be a liability?
	Or, can I leave and, can I leave and go, uh, just beyond, can I go beyond the green room?
	Can I go to the bathroom down the hall?
	Uh, if Darren is prepared to greet you on the way there.
	Okay.
	So, if I can confirm that, for sure.
	Okay, let's see if you can confirm that, because I have to go just for a second.
	We have a bathroom in the green room, but I have to go to the bathroom down the hall, because... Just if you can just confirm it.
	Yeah, I'll try to confirm it right now.
	I've been on air for twelve and a half hours.
	And I love you, but I needn't burden you with this.
	Can I go to the bathroom down the hall?
	Yes, okay, they can walk me down.
	All right, so listen, Sven and NotGayJarrod and Gerald, take the reins.
	I will be back with Andrew Klavan in just a second.
	Or Sven and Gerald.
	Wait, Jarrod, Jarrod, you need to be here.
	What happened?
	I can't leave if NotGayJarrod's not here.
	No, he's good.
	It can't just be, no, it can't just be you and Sven computer.
	He's coming right back in.
	Okay, all right.
	It's the reign of the co-hosts.
	It's the reign of, it's the what?
	He's getting the hang of it.
	He's a better computer.
	He's doing better.
	Doing the BB, but that was a good interview.
	Oh, I love- Ben is one of my favorite guys.
	I think we're up over 16,000 people watching right now, too.
	16,000?
	Okay, I don't need to know how many people.
	Don't tell me.
	I just want to focus on the product, not on the number.
	Yeah, whatever.
	I'm just saying you're doing good, you jerk.
	Merry Christmas, you filthy animal.
	Yeah, Merry Christmas, you filthy animal.
	Insane.
	So Ben converted to Christianity right here on the show.
	Rare spot.
	I think he saw... And was shut up.
	Well, he saw... Look, the Jews, they have a history of perseverance, but us Christians... You know, the Jews that are fans of us right now are like, just shut up.
	We're bearing it through 16 hours of CNN.
	That's true.
	It's no 40 years in the desert, but it's pretty damn close.
	I think it was 38 years in the desert.
	Was it 38?
	Yeah, I think it was technically 38.
	Why did they round up?
	I don't know.
	See how the show changes when we start talking about theology?
	I can't do voices or jokes or anything nearly as funny as what Steve can do.
	I know you can't.
	Probably your least capable talent.
	Thank you.
	Thank you.
	I don't I think I'm fired after this too Yeah, so I was I was very impressed.
	He's a he's a really good guy.
	I've only heard him speak one other hopper.
	No You know how many tweets I'm gonna get?
	You just made Hopper feel bad, you jerk!
	What do to you?
	Oh my gosh, he did a lot.
	Has there been has there been any news by the way?
	Because I went out and checked, so I deleted Twitter from my phone a long time ago so that I would have some sanity, and I went and reloaded it back on just for the rest of tonight's show.
	And I saw the Papa John's thing, he's gonna be CEO, or no, he's gonna be the chairman now, instead of the CEO, right?
	So that's something that could have been talked about.
	Yeah.
	And there was, I thought there was one or two other things that were not, like, big, that were kind of noteworthy things that could have been, you know, talked about, but no, we're not getting any of that from CNN, and I kind of hate Steven for this.
	I love him to death, but... I hate him for all of this.
	Making us all, like, watch CNN.
	Yeah.
	And have just the boredom of that.
	It's kind of bad.
	No, I'm sorry.
	I haven't done anything to deserve this, especially around the holidays.
	I will say this.
	I feel like this is like Saw, where he tells you, like, hey, if you go online to this website, like, the heat lamps are gonna just get hotter and hotter with all the people, and, like, all of the fans of the show are like, ah, this is great, we love...
	Yeah.
	You guys are having to do this.
	And so, like, I think this was going to breed more things like this.
	Yeah.
	Hopefully not 16 hours.
	Hopefully not 16 hours.
	But, you know, what are you going to do?
	Not much.
	We can, what we can do is we can run a SimpliSafe commercial while I clear my throat because I feel like I want to... Can you do the let me clear my throat thing?
	Here's my light.
	Let me clear my throat.
	And here we go.
	A SimpliSafe commercial.
	This is from our wonderful sponsor.
	And we'll be right back after this, this word, this word.
	Let it encourage you.
	Look who I found.
	I have nowhere to go.
	Hopper, we're home!
	What?
	You mean, you miss me?
	Hopper, of course we missed you, buddy!
	But I thought you didn't want me no more, now that you have SimpliSafe and I'm a guard dog.
	SimpliSafe is just as much for dogs as anything else.
	You're the most important thing in the house.
	Never leave.
	You mean it?
	Hopper!
	You're such a good boy!
	SimpliSafe can never replace you!
	Yeah!
	We can work together!
	SimpliSafe can help make me a better guard dog.
	Of course it can't replace me.
	I don't know what I was thinking.
	SimpliSafe can help monitor and warn, but it can't scare and bite bad guys like Hopper can.
	Oh no!
	Buglers!
	Quick!
	Run everybody!
	They can't catch us all!
	Oh no, the abominable snowman is back!
	Haven't I shown you when I mutilate beasts and take out their teeth?
	This is one mighty humble mambo!
	Oh no!
	They're just pushing on the cliff!
	This got really dark for a children's special.
	We better go look over the cliff mysteriously so that we can have conflict but still convince children that everything's okay.
	Yeah, you're right.
	Let me look over... No, they're definitely both dead.
	their blood's all over the place.
	The entire CRTV lineup, including...
	Oh, oh, oh, oh, please, please help me.
	I'm...
	I'm not Gay Jared on the Shelf.
	I only came to offer the Mug Club, giving you access to all of Vladaroth Crowder daily programming.
	Only $99.69 for students and veterans.
	But then, unspeakable things happened to me.
	You can change this!
	You have the power to change this!
	Help!
	Help me!
	Help me!
	Please help me!
	Please!
	No!
	No, don't go!
	Don't go!
	Don't go!
	Please!
	No, no, no, no, no, no!
	Please, please, please.
	I'm not good.
	You're on yourself.
	Please, you can help me, please.
	Come back.
	Come back.
	No.
	All right, we are back.
	There we go.
	And we have a guest on with us soon here.
	One thing, I hate to actually eat while we have a guest on.
	Oh, you know what?
	I just realized, did I take this yet?
	I don't know.
	This isn't a sponsor, but it's actually, when people say what supplements are, I take very few supplements or vitamins, but there's actually just something called KSM-66.
	It's the closest thing to, like, a natural miracle drug.
	Really?
	Slash steroid, yeah.
	It decreases cortisol, increases testosterone, helps your immune system, helps with endurance, increases hemoglobin.
	I'd like some more testosterone.
	They're actual double-blind, placebo-controlled clinical trials, so anyway.
	I've been sharing this right now to help me with my energy.
	We have our guest.
	Hold on.
	I know!
	I see your thumbs up, Sound Guy Edward!
	Hold!
	Gosh, I've been here for 13 hours.
	Give me a break.
	Alright, our next guest.
	I love him.
	You love him.
	He's also on the Daily Wire network and their Tumblr mostly sucks, but his show is pretty good.
	You love him.
	You follow him.
	It's the Andrew Klavan Show at AndrewKlavan on the Twitter.
	Mr. Klavan, can you hear us, sir?
	I don't think he can hear us.
	Sound Guy Edward, all this thumbs up, and hold on a second, Sound Guy Edward didn't even have this stuff write yet.
	What's happening?
	I would have just taken the time to eat my raspberries.
	Now I can hear you.
	Oh, great!
	How are you, Mr. Klaven?
	I'm so much happier before.
	Hey, look!
	You, um, sorry, I don't know if you know what's been going on today.
	You've been briefed?
	I heard that you were going to sit in front of CNN for 16 hours, but I thought even you were not that stupid.
	Well, no, you were wrong.
	16 hours.
	CNN, what are we, hour 12, hour 13?
	Almost 13.
	No, no, coming up in hour 13, right?
	630?
	Wait, we're coming up on 8 and we go to midnight, so hour 12.

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