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Dec. 8, 2017 - Louder with Crowder
01:09:52
#271 DOES JERUSALEM BELONG TO ISRAEL?? Ted Cruz Guests | Louder With Crowder
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We will go on with the show.
Allahu Akbar.
Allahu Akbar.
All right, so what do we have on the show?
You don't know this?
You didn't read this show, Matt?
Look, man.
Senator Ted Cruz.
Oh, nice.
Yeah.
Fantastic.
I'm a big Ted Cruz fan.
I think his assistant there said he enjoyed doing the show, so he's been coming back.
He's been on a lot.
He always seems like he's one show of ours away from losing his career, so I think he gets the show.
It tells me he knows...
I know that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah.
I'll see you next time.
Let's go on, guys.
Why with the music?
Just watching Homeland.
Lauder with Crowder Studios is protected exclusively by Walther and Hopper.
The End
- Beat it, just. - Hopper, come here.
Come here, Hopper.
That's the sound of the week, and my dog just left me before the show even started.
You just bailed.
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I don't even know what happened.
Hopper, come over here.
He'll go back over there when he's ready.
All right.
We have Senator Ted Cruz in the program today, and Courtney, Kirchhoff, Courtney Skops.
Add Courtney Skops is going to be on the show.
Big announcements being made.
Before we get to them, producing with me in video studios always is Jared, who is not gay.
Follow him on Twitter at not gay.
Jared, me describe it with your thoughts, your comments, your photoshops.
I fulfill my legal obligations.
Draw your own conclusions.
Are we good?
It's the most wonderful time of the year, Stephen.
And on that note, we have the sommelier in chief.
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Mount Brave Cabernet off of Mount Vitor.
Mount Brave?
Mount Brave.
Mount Brave.
Do you want to do it to yourself today?
No, no.
That's what you accused me of with the icon.
Who's brave?
Yeah, who's brave?
Yeah, whatever.
It's a great one!
It's your pick-up line at the bar.
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And he does the...
He does the...
That bumboes ain't got no teeth!
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Or lose all your friends.
Yeah, exactly.
Well, that's, the good thing is when you're starting from the bottom here.
Like Mount Brave.
So, question of the day, by the way.
We're going to talk about this in depth.
That's why we didn't talk about it for mug clubbers behind the paywall.
Jerusalem.
We'll talk about it in depth, but do you think that it should be Israel's capital?
Or, I guess, sort of rephrase that.
Do you think that presidents should have enforced the law for it to be Israel's capital since it passed in 1995?
What do you think?
Like a little asterisk you put on that question.
A little asterisk.
A little bit next.
And Al Franken, by the way, is gone now.
Resigned.
Why are you laughing?
I just don't like him at all.
I'm glad I see him gone.
He looks like Mr.
Hyde.
The world is better this way.
He's a jerk.
I'll give you that.
He's a jerk.
So I'm happy to.
I don't hate him as much as most people.
I don't like Al Frank at all.
I think he's politically wrong.
You don't think he should have resigned for this?
I don't think he should have resigned.
Here's why I don't think he should have resigned.
There could be info that comes out where we say, okay, he should have resigned.
But it shouldn't be based just on the number of accusers.
It should be based on the quality of evidence.
Because what's going to happen is, oh, he had eight more accusers?
And they'll say, well, Roy Moore has 40.
But what if every single one of them was paid by Gloria Allred at the Illuminati meetings?
With their goat's heads.
I think you should have resigned before all this, just on principle that I don't like his face.
Yeah, that's not a principle.
That's just...
That's what it is.
That's what that is.
He's willing to admit it.
Based on the principle that he's a dick.
That's not a principle.
You changed his mind.
All right.
By the way, we care about fitness here.
So a new study finds that type 2 diabetes might be reversible...
With weight loss.
Yeah.
The study was published in a peer-reviewed medical journal and confirmed by everyone.
You've been talking about this for a long time.
Like, just try that.
Lift some heavy stuff.
Yeah.
Lift some heavy stuff.
This is great news for Wilford Brimley, by the way.
Why is that great news for Wilford Brimley?
You could just lay off the whole diabetes...
He doesn't...
Diabetes?
It's not the same thing.
Diabetes is a different disease.
What?
Oh, yes.
Diabetes.
Just in time for the holidays.
Type 2 diabetes.
You can now buy a cannabis-covered Christmas wreath.
Oh, yeah.
And there's nothing...
This isn't really new.
It comes on the heels of a growing trend of holiday cheer-themed cannabis-based commodities.
You've seen them.
For the first time ever, get this entire cannabis-inspired compilation, Now That's What I Call a Smokin' Christmas, to fill you and yours with holiday cheer.
All your favorites are here.
Classics like I'll Be Home for Christmas.
I'll be home for Christmas.
If only you have weed.
Hark the Herald Angels Sing.
Hark the Herald Angels Sing.
Something, something, I have twelve fingers.
Holly Jolly Christmas.
Have a holly jolly Christmas that's pretty hot.
Have a holly jolly Christmas that's kind of hard to say.
Holly, holly jolly, it's hard to say.
Like in a row, but kind of fun.
Silent Night!
Silent Night.
Guys, seriously be quiet.
The First Noel!
The First, the First Noel.
It was actually more likely that the wise men brought weed instead of frankincense.
Because the Greek translation of frankincense is marijuana.
It's natural, bro.
It's so natural.
It's a plan.
And Kenny Loggins.
We celebrate.
Now that's what I call a smokin' Christmas.
Steal your mom's credit card and order today.
It's almost exactly what I thought it would be.
A Delta flight.
We're going to talk about Jerusalem in a bit.
We'll talk about things.
Look at the series in a minute.
Christmas.
We just defended three states.
By the way, it changed my mind in not too long.
Kwanzaa.
It's not a real thing.
Changed my mind.
It was the most contentious one we did, but I will give it zero credence, just like Hamas in Palestine.
No tolerance, no empathy.
You can tweet me at us.
We lost half our audience just now.
A Delta flight from New York.
To Seattle's bathrooms were so filled to capacity, the pilot had to make a pit stop in Billings, Montana.
Delta says that upon landing...
Was I on this flight?
Yeah, in Billings, ground crews rolled a stairway to the airplane so passengers could, quote, disembark to find relief of built-up pressures.
When asked, actually, if landing the plane for a pit stop was common practice, the pilot responded, only if we don't fly over Detroit.
so that's out of everything we've ever done that is possibly the most offensive visual Think about this.
If you send a stranger into Detroit and say, document just the first five things you notice, that wouldn't even make the list.
Oh, and number ten, there's these planes!
Uh-huh.
Okay, so that's okay.
Number three, number four.
Did you notice at all the raining of human s***?
No, no.
I just thought that was...
Is that what that was?
I thought that was a style choice.
Cities of the Midwest were raining s***.
I was trying to survive one through five.
It's coffee, bro.
I just thought it was the new coffee shops.
Sorry.
We've got your censor button ready for you.
And one of the more bizarre Tupac memorabilia items for sale is another news story that I couldn't...
An auction...
An auction house is now selling a close-up picture of his member snapped in 1990.
An unnamed female companion of Tupac said that the then up-and-coming rapper was fond of dropping his trousers at parties and taking pictures and has begun the bidding at $7,500.
So, the all-beloved Tupac took dick pics.
It really shouldn't be that surprising to those of us who've heard his B-sides.
Hit him with a little wiener gospel.
Those who wish to follow me.
Little wiener gospel.
I welcome with my hands.
And the red sun sings at last into the hills of gold.
I'm feasting this young warrior without the sound of guns.
If I could recollect before my hood days, I sit, reminisce, showin' my dick for some good praise.
You stop and stare and you wonder, is it just the cold or is it just the stress that he's under?
But babe, I swear things change.
You know I ain't ashamed of my room cause the tip looks strange.
Almost sounds preemptive on his parts. - We're sorry it went on.
I used to be a Tupac fan.
Way to go.
Far longer than necessary.
It's been a long week.
Oh my gosh.
You only see the front side.
By the way, 16-hour CNN live stream on December 21st, and that's the launch of a YouTube kill.
We've been working on a lot of stuff.
That's a lot of work.
Yeah.
So...
That's why you get Tupac singing Pecker Gospel, okay?
Plus, we were keeping our kinder drive for this segment.
So, obviously, big story.
Donald Trump, this administration, is going to recognize Jerusalem as the capital of Israel.
We're going to be responding to, I guess, sort of using New York Times as a fulcrum because they released a video on it.
First off, let me just say something off the bat, okay?
If people are going to say you're biased, absolutely.
Here's where I line up, okay?
There's a good guy.
There's a bad guy.
You put mass genocide in your charter, Hamas.
You're the bad guy.
That's it.
Done.
I don't care what you have to say anymore.
Extermination, eradication of all Jews.
That's it.
You're the bad guy.
Is it reductive?
Absolutely.
Do I have inherent biases there?
I do for people who want to commit mass genocide.
Absolutely.
Just take that to the bank.
Know it going in.
Now let's roll the clip.
Jerusalem is holy to three major religions.
It's where Solomon built the first Jewish temple, where Christ was crucified, and where the prophet Muhammad ascended into heaven.
Well, Alexis is Jesus, a fictional character.
This is where the prophet Muhammad violated the laws of physics.
And dimensions as well.
I mean, it's like, come on.
For instance...
And I know people say, oh, so did Christ for the resurrection.
Yeah, I know.
But, you know, he's real.
Muhammad's a liar.
So, you know, listen, Muhammad, he's in hell.
So let's address the religious aspect first.
No, no, absolutely.
Muhammad's burning in hell.
I'm sorry.
Muhammad would have been a nice guy if it were for climate change, and you know it.
If it was just balmy over there, it would have been easy.
They just needed a jobs bank.
So let's address the religious claim first.
And this is something you always hear, they're all part of the Abrahamic religions.
No!
No!
We'll do the historical and the religious perspective.
The religious significance, it's not even close.
Okay, let me tell you, nowhere in the Quran is Jerusalem ever mentioned By name.
The Quran merely records that Muhammad, it says that Muhammad, I guess, was taken up probably in a dream, mind you, were on an acid trip to the farthest mosque.
I'll read you the exact verse.
Exalted is he who took his servant by night from al-Majid al-Haram to al-Majid al-Khasa.
I know, I'm an Arabic.
Axa.
Axa, whatever.
I don't care anymore.
I've given up.
We blessed to show him of our signs.
Indeed, he is the hearing, the seeing.
Only the Hadith, written 200 years after Muhammad lived, links the site to Jerusalem.
Yeah, so that he heard Allah's apostles saying, when the people of Qadish, now it's my turn, did not believe me, i.e.
the story of the night journey, I stood up in Al-Hidra, and Allah displayed Jerusalem in front of me, right?
So there it is.
You make a horrible Barack Obama.
Remember Barack Obama, he'd always be sitting there, and he'd be talking, depending on if he wanted to fake the black sound, and then, Pakistan!
I'll do that when I get to Baghdad later on, right?
Here's the thing.
In contrast, when they just try and throw it all in the same boat, in contrast, Jerusalem is mentioned specifically over 800 times in the Jewish Old Testament.
655 times by name is Jerusalem, 161 times under the synonym Zion.
Yeah.
It's not the same!
By the way, we should also mention that the Palestinians have a long history of being pricks, desecrating Jewish and Christian holy sites just to do it.
What was it, Joe?
The Tomb of Joseph?
The Tomb of Joseph in 2013, that wasn't good enough, so came back and burned it in 2015.
Burned it down in 2015.
And then they were bulldozing churches and tearing up all kinds of religious sites all throughout the Middle East during the wars that we had over there and still going on to this day.
Apparently they have a problem with shrines.
Right.
Okay.
It was like the kid who you put in a timeout and it was like, I'm going to do it.
I'm going to burn the tomb of Joseph!
That's the last straw.
Yeah.
The last straw.
Burn down the tomb of Joseph.
Yeah, exactly.
Burn down blocks.
Emily, do you have my suicide vest?
Second, and more importantly, is the history.
Let's get beyond the religious significance.
The New York Times, they suggest that it's a question of locating the capital of a nation.
Jerusalem, here's something historically people don't realize, okay, has existed under the rule of many, many Islamic caliphates and empires throughout history, and not once, none of them declared the capital of Of any Muslim state to be Jerusalem.
We have some examples, right?
A lot of time to do so.
Yeah, a lot of time to do so.
So that's important.
When they were in charge and they had it, it wasn't their capital.
Well, the Umayyad Caliphate, the capital was Damascus.
Damascus.
The Abbasid Caliphate, the capital was Baghdad.
See, I did it for you.
There you go.
And then the Fatimid Caliphate was Cairo.
And then the Ottoman Empire, those nice, gentle Ottomans.
It was Constantinople.
Yeah, it was Constantinople.
Which is also really scary when you think about Constantinople.
Well, yes.
You think about that and you think...
It's had a lot of names.
Yeah, it's had a lot of names.
So, in contrast, Jerusalem has been the center of the Jewish nation since King David made it to the capital of Israel.
I think, what, around 1000 B.C.? Right around 1000 B.C., yeah.
For 400 years until these guys were conquered by the Babylonians.
And that's, you can find it.
So, in the Bible, there are historical books that record history just like every other historian.
And this is one of them, 2 Chronicles 6.6.
But now I've chosen Jerusalem for my name to be there, and I have chosen David to rule my people, Israel.
Ow!
Pretty simple.
Jerusalem!
There it is again.
Oh, but we can't believe anything the Bible says.
But after the Babylonian exile ended, around 538 BC, Jerusalem again served as a capital for over 500 years.
So much so that even Cyrus and Artaxerxes knew that that was the capital and it dispatched people back to rebuild the city.
Right.
Okay?
And then you look in Ezra 1-3.
Any of his people among you may go up to Jerusalem and Judah and build the temple of the Lord, the God of Israel, the God who is in Jerusalem.
He's on the road again!
No!
Is this like a drinking game with a Bible?
I'm just saying.
Not even at all.
And that whole night dream thing, I think he was on a flying horse that had a human head?
Maybe he was high.
He probably was high.
The point is he's in hell.
But what really matters, when you think about this for a second, I always find this funny when Muslims, I'm just going to say, hashtag yes all Muslims.
When you say, when you say, well we respect the Bible, all you do except going back to the blessing of Abraham and you think the Jews lied about everything, you respect it?
Well, Why do you desecrate these things?
It's like, well, I guess like Baltimore, you're burning down your own crap.
Is that your philosophy?
What purpose does it serve to destroy stuff?
You think this thing was in immaculate condition already?
These things are falling down.
Why push them over?
Well, let me ask you this, because obviously you're quoting Bible verses, but this can be obviously viewed outside of the Bible.
There are other historical accounts.
Yeah, tons of historical accounts.
Of course, Jerusalem and the Jews.
Of course!
Of course!
It has been confirmed!
Okay, so here's the thing.
You may have an argument of, do the Jews, do they have a right to Israel?
But no one in their right mind ever makes the argument they don't have a right to Jerusalem as their capital.
It has been the capital forever, literally.
I'm trying to think if that's a misuse of literally.
Probably so.
Courtney would tell me so.
It would be a misuse of literally because you have to go into modern Israel after World War II. Okay, fine.
All right, so.
In their hearts.
In their hearts.
It was still the capital.
In their hearts.
Now we're going to in their hearts.
Yeah, okay.
You and Gloria Estefan.
All right, next clip.
For decades, U.S. administrations have said the city's status must be decided by peace talks and that moving the embassy to Jerusalem would be taking Israel's side.
This thing is...
That's not true.
In 1995, Congress passed the Jerusalem Embassy Act, specifically relocating the Embassy of the United States to Jerusalem and recognizing it as Israel's capital no later than May 31st, 1999.
This is important.
There was a red line due date.
Oh, another red line.
Yeah, a red line due date back in the 90s.
And it passed overwhelmingly...
93.5 in the Senate, and three...
It's such an important number I have to use a note for reference.
374 to 37 in the House!
That's a blowout.
That's what you call a significant majority.
When did we just start renaming red lines like purple nines?
Yeah.
They're like purple nines?
Purple lines.
Purple lines.
Because they're super gay and never observed.
It is true.
This goes back to 95, by the way.
It was not executively enforced, which is why every single modern president has claimed that they would.
They've all just been too pansified to actually enforce it executively.
Jerusalem is still the capital of Israel and must remain an undivided city accessible to all.
As soon as I take office, I will begin the process of moving the United States ambassador to the city of Israel as chosen as its capital.
I continue to say that Jerusalem will be the capital of Israel.
And I have said that before and I will say it again.
And Jerusalem will remain the capital of Israel and it must remain undivided.
We will move the American embassy to the eternal capital of the Jewish people, Jerusalem.
A couple of things that are important to note there.
It almost seems like it's consistent there.
A couple of things that are important to note here before we wrap this up and we have to get to Senator Ted Cruz.
They've used the term people quite a bit.
And that matters because Jewish people, that's one thing that historically has long been recognized.
There is no Palestinian people.
They don't really exist as a distinct group.
They're just Arab Muslims who want to take over Israel.
I actually can't put any better than Zurel Mohsen, head of the PLO. I'm not going to get these names right, so I'm not going to try.
It's like when you take a stupid picture on the driver's license because you just say, I just meant to do that.
This is him.
The Palestinian people does not exist.
The creation of a Palestinian state is only a means for continuing our struggle against the state of Israel for our Arab unity.
In reality today, there is no difference between Jordanians, Palestinians, Syrians, and the Lebanese.
There is no Palestinian people.
Palestine has never been a country...
And if you're going to talk about, listen, there are a lot of issues with President Donald Trump on which I disagree.
But, you know, I'm glad he finally got something done.
And I'm unapologetic about this.
The reversal of the reversal of the Mexico City policy, that was a good thing.
And this is a good thing.
And even if you absolutely cannot stand Trump, you've got to give him some respect.
You've got to give him some respect for doing the thing that all of the other people, including the people who hate Trump, so your Obama, your Bill Clinton, said they were going to do.
Of all of his flaws, being the only president to actually deliver on his words and his promise regarding Jerusalem, that's not amongst them.
Therefore, I have determined that it is time to officially recognize Jerusalem as the capital of Israel.
There you go!
Winning!
So much winning for the Jews.
All right, we'll be back with Senator Ted Cruz.
There's a lead.
She's funny.
Got the background.
I'm breaking off.
Got the background.
She's funny.
Got the background.
She's side, boys.
Got the background.
She's side, boys.
She's side, boys.
What are you doing here?
It's the middle of the night.
Good evening, Jared.
I heard that you are in need of a guard dog services, and I would like to...
Son of a...
All right, glad to have our glad to have our next guest.
I am amazed.
I shouldn't say amazed, but I'm surprised, I guess, that I'm not at all that surprised, that I am surprised.
Does that make sense?
It doesn't.
They haven't removed his blue checkmark from Twitter yet, so he still has the same place.
He is at Ted Cruz on the Twitter.
Senator, coming off some, I guess, what the Republican Party would consider big wins with tax reform.
How are you, Senator?
I am doing terrific.
Last week was a big, big week, and it's nice to see Republican majorities in Congress actually doing something, and doing something meaningful that's going to make a big difference in the country.
Now, was this something that you really think you guys needed?
Because obviously under the Trump administration, a lot of people were saying, hey, there was a lot of bluster.
Not a whole lot had been done this year, and now finally something tangible.
I think that's exactly right.
I mean, my message this year has been very simple.
Let's do what we promised.
Let's deliver, I think, the four big priorities are tax reform, regulatory reform, repealing Obamacare, and nominating and confirming strong constitutionalist judges.
And I think if we do those four, it's historic.
And if we fail to get any of them done, it will be one of the greatest missed opportunities of our lifetime.
So last week was big because we made a major step towards delivering on a big, big element of getting this economy moving, bringing back jobs, raising wages, all of which obviously matters enormously.
Well, explain that for people because, like I said, we have a lot of young people who watch on YouTube and they say, man, this is just a tax break for the wealthy.
And if you look at it, it's a tax break for pretty much everybody who pays taxes.
And they think trickle-down is this six degrees of Kevin Bacon kind of separation.
Hold on a second.
I'm going, we actually, if we could have the adjustments that we want with the corporate tax rates, could hire two new people.
So explain for people who think it's for the rich, man.
Well, look, everyone is young.
They either want a job.
Or they want higher wages.
My number one priority is easy.
Jobs.
Jobs, jobs, jobs.
You know, we've had, for the last nine years, from 2008 to today, our economy has grown only 1.2% a year.
That is anemic.
That is molasses.
The historical average is about 3.3% a year.
So the Obama growth is incredibly unusual.
And so for a lot of young people, they've never known an environment different than the one we have now.
A lot of young people, you come out of school, you got student loans up to your eyeballs, and you're wondering, am I going to get a job?
Am I, you know, I busted my tail to get a degree and I'm making venti lattes for minimum wage.
I mean, that's not the American economy.
That's not what we should be doing.
This tax cut is all about jobs.
It's all about, if you want more jobs, History has shown, you know, in the 1920s, Calvin Coolidge came in, passed a major tax cut, the economy boomed, jobs were created in massive numbers.
In the 1960s, John F. Kennedy came in, campaigned on big tax cuts, passed a big tax cut, and the economy boomed.
In the 1980s, Ronald Reagan, I've got Ronald Reagan on the Wall behind me came in, campaigned on a big tax cut, passed a big tax cut, millions of jobs.
So for young people, if you want to see a bunch of people giving you new job offers, if you want to see people competing and raising your wages, you want to see tax cuts on job providers that gets the economy booming.
Well, for young people, though, it's kind of a hard sell, certainly for a lot of the younger, more liberal, you know, those of the liberal persuasion, because they say, well, hold on a second, Republicans don't want to do student loan forgiveness.
That's tangible.
There's a, all right, No more debt, even if I studied, you know, for four years in gender studies or underwater basket weaving, whereas it takes a step of faith to believe that this tax cut going to someone who's wealthy, they're actually going to use that money to employ more people.
How do you sell it to those kids when they're looking at, boom, forgiving your debt?
You know, the beauty of it is I don't think it does take a step of faith.
You know, we did last week, I did a debate on CNN with Bernie Sanders, and we had Tim Scott on my side and Maria Cantwell on Bernie's side.
And Bernie and the Democrats are very honest.
They're very candid.
Bernie admits he's a socialist.
And he admits he wants to raise your taxes.
He wants to raise everybody's taxes.
The difference between Bernie and the Socialists and the Democrats, and by the way, I've asked Bernie now repeatedly, what's the difference between a Socialist and Democrat on taxes?
His answer is, I can't give you an answer, and the reality is you can't.
They want to raise your taxes a lot, and Republicans, what I want to do is cut everybody's taxes.
And I will say most of the Media and Democratic hysteria over this tax cut is nuts.
Nancy Pelosi went on national television and called it Armageddon that your taxes are being cut.
Let me say something to everyone who's watching this.
You're hearing Democrats claiming this is not a tax cut.
There's going to be a real easy test.
Come January, Take a look at your first pay stub you get after the first two weeks in January and just ask the question, are you paying more taxes or less taxes?
Virtually every single person in America will be paying less taxes, and in many instances, significantly less taxes.
That makes a difference in terms of the money you've got to pay off your student loans, the money you've got to save, the money you've got if you've got kids to provide for your kids.
And, you know, it's interesting.
What Bernie and Maria said is what they want to do instead is tax the living daylights out of you and then give stuff back to you.
Forgive student loans.
You know what?
How about you just keep your money and you can pay for stuff on your own.
Don't launder it through the politicians in Washington that are like the money launderers in Scarface running the cash, keeping a big chunk of it.
You know, let's put Tony Montana out of business in Washington and just leave money with the people instead.
Although that was probably the worst Cuban accent, I think, in the history of mankind, Scarface.
Whenever I watch it, I'm like, oh gosh, Al Pacino was so good, and then this?
You know, it's funny, this is a true story.
The day after your last tax debate with Bernie, Senator Sanders.
Jared, you know this.
We were going to Burlington, Vermont.
I was on a plane.
Who is sitting right in front of me?
But Bernie Sanders.
And what I couldn't get over was he was sitting in Economy Premium Plus Plus, that very last row, right before the curtain of first class.
And I was like, oh, you know that's a point of pride.
Like, I'm among the people.
I don't write.
It's just the difference is a cocktail at that point.
But I wanted to go up and say something.
But man, he looked so dejected.
It was right after your first debate.
He didn't have a briefcase, so it was not working.
Flying back to Burlington, Vermont.
But you know, it's funny that you say that.
That's a simple test.
Are you paying more?
Are you paying less?
But if you look at the recent Vox video, they do this creative math where they say, hold on a second, if you look at this charitable deduction, if a wealthy person gives 10% to charity, then they go, look at how much more it benefits them in tax cuts.
Hold on a second, hold on a second.
Instead of being selfish, saying, hey, the wealthier person is having less stolen, It would be a simpler test to say, are you paying less?
Are you keeping more?
But that's not the way a lot of people's minds work.
They think it's assumed we take this amount, and if we're not, it's like we're giving them something.
Well, Stephen, look, I actually think millennials are a heck of a lot smarter than the media.
The Democrats give them credit.
They're better informed, and they understand that there are a lot of politicians who are just lying, who are just shoveling manure.
Here's an easy decoding key.
Every time the Democrats say a tax cut is a tax cut for the rich, and by the way, that is the only talking point they have.
They're going to say it nonstop, tax cut for the rich, tax cut for the rich.
That's the only thing they have to say.
Understand that by rich, they mean taxpayer.
If you are paying federal taxes, you're rich.
And not the debate last week with Bernie, but the one I did a number of weeks back.
Bernie was very explicit.
He wants to raise every taxpayer's taxes.
You, if you're paying taxes.
Now, it's right.
If you're not paying taxes, if you're not working, he's happy not to raise your taxes.
He'll just give you free stuff to sit at home and not work and just tax everybody else.
But if you're actually out working, and you know what?
I think millennials are smart enough.
And want opportunity, want to have a great career, want to have great jobs, want to be able to change jobs, change professions, pursue your dreams, are not particularly interested in letting politicians decide what to do with their money.
And one of the things that was interesting, the presidential race, if you went to college campuses, if you talked to young people, College campuses were heavily divided between Bernie's campaign and my campaign.
We had a ton of support among young people.
It was our strongest demographic.
So did Bernie.
And when I ran into Bernie supporters out, particularly college kids, what I would say to them over and over again, I'd say, you know what?
I agree with Bernie.
Bernie says Washington is corrupt.
Both parties are in on it.
Both parties are in bed with big business and the rich and the powerful, the lobbyists.
All of that's true.
Washington is fundamentally corrupt, fundamentally broken.
And you'd see these people look at me and kind of, what do you mean you agree with Bernie?
I don't understand.
And I'd say, look, the only place Bernie and I disagree is the solution.
If Washington is corrupt, Why on earth would you want to give a whole lot more money and more power to Washington?
If you don't like what they're doing with it now, keep the money, keep the power with you, the people, and keep it out of Washington, D.C. Well, I think you disagree on the solution as it relates to Washington and also the concept of hoarding.
I expect to find Senator Sanders in an episode of that.
It's like, there's so many cats!
Okay.
On that note, I know we want to talk about the Amendment 529, but on that note, net neutrality.
This is something...
I will say, by the way, the image of Bernie as the cat lady from The Simpsons is a little terrifying.
It is, it is, because it's a little too close to home.
When he was coming down that aisle in the plane, I could see him...
You know, whipping them down.
Yes, whipping them down at us lesser economy non-plus-plus.
Net neutrality, huge issue on YouTube right now.
All of these creators.
I'm one of the few going, hold on a second.
If we actually look at what net neutrality is, it's an issue that's obfuscated.
One thing.
That I find interesting and nobody else is discussing.
People always like to vilify corporations, like we just talked about, the wealthy, okay, Verizon, Comcast, and of course all the mom-and-pop ISPs.
But the support from Google and YouTube and Facebook for net neutrality, are we supposed to believe they're all of a sudden virtuous?
I have my suspicions, but I would love to hear from someone like you, why do these giant, well-known leftist corporations with a history of censorship and curation so adamantly support net neutrality?
Look, it's the same game.
It's actually the same answer what we were just talking about a minute ago.
Washington is corrupt.
And so the big corporations, the power players, want as much power in Washington as possible because who do you think the government regulators listen to?
They listen to the big lobbyists.
I love the Internet.
Why do I love the Internet?
Because it grew up unregulated.
It grew up.
Nobody had to come to Washington on bended knee and ask someone's permission.
When you started your show, did you get anyone's permission?
Did you have to file a permit?
You just started recording and putting it out there.
It's true.
The internet has been this incredible oasis of free speech.
You can say whatever you want.
If you're right or if you're full of it, you can say either one and let what John Stuart Mill called the marketplace of ideas decide.
Entrepreneurship.
You want to start a small business?
You can make a product in your living room, put up a website, and sell all over the world instantaneously.
You don't need distribution.
You don't need advertising.
You have a portal to the world.
Now, what was net neutrality?
Net neutrality was the Obama FCC For the first time ever, seizing the power to regulate the Internet.
And what they did is they declared the Internet to be what's called a Title II regulated monopoly.
What's a Title II regulated monopoly?
The phone company.
Right.
And this is 2015, right, for people who don't understand the timeline.
Because net neutrality, as an umbrella term, has existed for a long time.
But I think we're talking about 2015.
The specific changes, a lot of people aren't aware of that very acute switch.
Yes, yes.
So prior to 2015...
Federal government regulators didn't have the power to regulate the internet, and it grew up free and unregulated and untaxed.
And there's nothing a socialist hates more than something that is free of government regulation and government taxes.
They want their sticky little fingers all over everything you're doing on the internet.
And so the Obama FCC just declared, we're treating it like a telephone monopoly from the 1930s.
And the Obama FCC claimed the power to regulate prices and terms of service.
So every term of service, which means they claim the power to decide, you know what?
We don't like what you're doing on the internet, so we're not going to allow you to do it.
And you know, how are we going to decide if we like it or not?
Well, we'll let a bunch of big corporate lobbyists lobbyists one way or another, and you know what?
Magically, the giant corporations will be favored.
When you think of innovation, Do you think of the old government monopolies?
I'm trying to think.
It's not the first thing that springs to mind, because now I still have my mind on Bernie Sanders as the cat man.
But come back to me, but I think the answer's no.
This, at the end of the day, is about government power.
And they've concocted this boogeyman.
That internet service providers might suddenly start regulating what content you're allowed to see.
Well, you know what?
No ISPs are doing that.
And more fundamentally, would you sign up for an internet company that says you can get this website but not that one?
Heck no!
You want to be able to access whatever you want on the web.
That's what consumers want.
Right.
And so this whole power grab...
Except actually not necessarily.
Here's something that's interesting to me.
You know, if you talk about these rural areas, the idea is there's no competition.
Let's say in rural Mississippi, I think Cable 1, right?
Well, hold on a second.
They only have one broadband provider.
I understand that.
But at the same time, they have eight mobile carrier providers.
And T-Mobile can, it's different with applications, say, hey, Spotify doesn't count toward your data cap.
Or AT&T can say Netflix doesn't count toward your data cap.
I'm going, you know what?
If I'm doing nothing but downloading 4K videos all day...
I don't mind paying for a different plan than my grandmother who does nothing but forward prairie dog pictures.
I'm okay with it.
Look, but Stephen, the beauty of it is that never happened.
No.
So this was literally an imaginary danger.
They concocted, to go back to The Simpsons, they concocted Mr.
Burns.
Yes.
Mr.
Burns, excellent, just regulating everything.
And they said, here's the solution to Mr.
Burns.
We're going to have government take it over and have the power to regulate the whole internet.
My position is simple.
No regulations, no taxes.
Leave the internet the hell alone.
I don't want Washington regulators touching the internet.
And that's what the FCC is doing.
It's going back to saying, now, fraud, deception, if people are ripping people off, there's a long time.
You can sue someone.
There's law enforcement.
If you're breaking the criminal laws, it doesn't matter if you're doing it on the internet or in the bricks-and-mortar world.
But we don't need government regulators deciding what websites can open up.
We don't need government regulators deciding what content you can have.
And by the way, you look at Europe.
You look at China.
They regulate content aggressively on the internet.
And the big tech companies, Apple, Apple just complied with China pulling down the apps that let people get uncensored content.
You know, the big tech companies are perfectly happy to get in bed with these totalitarian thugs.
My view here, if you like freedom on the Internet, the worst thing for Internet freedom is giving Washington bureaucrats the power to regulate your Internet.
Well, okay.
I know you're busy, but if I may float a theory, because this might take just a couple minutes here.
I talked about this earlier this week with net neutrality.
Like you said, you talk about regulating them under Title II like a telecommunications company.
Okay.
If we continued with net neutrality, right, they would be allowed to set prices.
They'd basically be allowed to tell ISPs how you have to treat all content outside of antitrust laws.
An emphasis in the laws we're talking about is on transparency.
I've talked about this a lot.
The government can micromanage or they can provide strict oversight.
You can't play for a team and be a referee.
So in this instance, we're erring on the side of being a referee.
Here's something that I find interesting.
A lot of people, including some people on Fox News, I think Tucker Carlson, talked about regulating YouTube, Google, Facebook as under Title II because they thought it was a monopoly, that people were requiring these to communicate.
Now, I said, hold on a second, no.
Of course I'm against it.
I don't want to tell YouTube what they have to allow on their site.
I do think if you were to say, okay, we're going to apply the same kind of regulation as we do to ISPs, demanding transparency, YouTube, meaning you have to let people know if you're throttling conservative content, meaning Facebook, you have to let people know if you're banning news you don't like, a lot of people would be on board.
Does it stand to reason that maybe that's why they're a little bit cautious about the transparency laws that we're talking about here?
Yeah, I don't even think they're that cautious.
You know, we had a Judiciary Committee hearing where Democrats were hyperventilating, were bellowing that we've got to regulate all the tech companies because there were Russian ads.
And it was all about, we've got to prevent Russian ads.
You know what?
The last thing I want is government regulators deciding what ads can run on Google or Facebook or anyone else.
Now, the problem you mentioned I'm very worried about.
I think these big tech companies have a terrible record Of censorship, a terrible record of trying to push their own political agendas.
Now, I don't think government should regulate them, but I do think right now under current law, the big tech companies enjoy immunity from liability under what's called the Communications Decency Act, and it's based on the premise that they're public forums, that they're just letting people speak.
Well, you know what?
If they're not just letting people speak, if they're actively engaging and pushing their own political agenda, that's fine.
They have a First Amendment right to do it, but there's no reason they should be given immunity from liability if they defame someone, if they commit conduct that Yeah.
so many people make their living off of YouTube.
You know, for us, we saw our advertising cut down to a quarter, and they said, "Oh, it's an algorithm." And we said, "Well, hold on, can we look at this algorithm?
Because you ran ads for us to put our videos on YouTube.
You invited us here.
Ah, no, we can't show you.
Okay, listen, we could talk about that all day.
You specifically have been spearheading this amendment, I think 529 amendment when we're talking, going back to taxes now.
Tell people what that's about and where they can go to follow it.
Well, late Friday night when we were voting on tax reform, there was one amendment adding a provision to the bill that passed.
The only amendment that passed was an amendment I introduced.
And it concerns 529 college savings accounts, which many of the folks listening may have had 529s, maybe saving them.
It's a tax advantage vehicle that you can save for the college education of your kids or your grandkids.
And it works like a Roth IRA. So you put money in after tax.
And then all the growth of the money is tax free.
And so it's a really powerful tool to save for college.
The amendment I introduced that passed was an amendment that says 529s that are incredibly powerful.
You can spend them not just on college.
You can also spend them on K-12 education.
You can spend them on public school, on private school, on religious school, on homeschooling.
It puts parents and grandparents and kids in a position of controlling your own savings.
It goes back to the theme we've been emphasizing over and over again, putting you in charge of your money instead of politicians in Washington.
It came to a vote after midnight on Friday night on the Senate floor.
The Senate ended up dividing 50-50.
Actually, let me tell you the inside drama because you'll enjoy this.
I do.
I want some House of Cards kind of business here.
Give it to me.
All right.
So we're standing on the Senate floor.
We have 52 Republicans, so very narrow majority.
First one, then two Republicans vote no.
So the Senate floor staff calls the Vice President, calls Mike Pence and says, Mr.
Vice President, we need you down here.
He was at his home at the residence of the Naval Observatory.
We need you down here to break the tie.
So the Vice President gets in the motorcade, starts heading down Massachusetts Avenue.
Then Joe Manchin, a Democrat from West Virginia, comes down and votes yes, votes with me.
And there's an audible gasp in the well of the Senate.
And so the floor staff, they pick up the phone and they call Pence and say, Mr.
Vice President, we don't need you after all.
We've got the votes.
Manchin just voted yes, so turn around and go home.
So the motorcade turns around, starts heading back.
Manchin returns to his desk.
And Senate Democrats descend on him like locusts.
I mean, they're surrounding him and yelling him.
I'm pretty sure they just started sticking knives in him.
Right.
Like in a bullfight, you know, the people that stick all the spears.
Someone at C-SPAN is going, camera four, camera four, switch, switch, switch.
And after five minutes, Joe cried, uncle.
And he walked down and he switched his vote to a no.
And so the floor staff had to pick up the phone, call the Vice President a third time, and say, I'm sorry, Mr.
Vice President, we do need your vote.
He turned the motorcade around yet again.
We waited 15 minutes for him to drive from the Naval Observatory to the Capitol, and he came to the floor and he said, the ayes being 50, the nays being 50, the President of the Senate votes in the affirmative, and that amendment was passed.
And the beauty of it is, There are 50 million school kids in America at any given time.
That is a tax cut for every school child, for every parent, for every grandparent.
That lets you...
I've got 529s for both my daughters.
Next year, I'm going to start using those 529s, not just to save for college, but also to help pay for their education now in first and fourth grade.
That is real.
It is the most significant national school choice legislation we have seen for perhaps ever Right.
And it is powerful tax relief to tens of millions of parents and grandparents and kids.
Do you hear that?
That's the sound of teachers unions going, yeah!
So that is fantastic.
Again, this is something I hope people who are watching who may disagree with Senator Cruz, people who are left or right, can go, oh, okay, hold on a second.
Here's a solution that costs us as opposed to trillions or billions.
Nothing.
We're putting money back in the hands of Americans that...
We can find some common ground.
If we want to talk about finding common ground, I don't know how allowing people to save for themselves, giving them tax incentives to be responsible, and giving them more choice how anyone could be against it.
I know you are busy, Senator.
Thank you very much for taking that.
You look rested.
I would imagine there's a weight lifted off your shoulders after this last week.
There is.
I am encouraged.
We're actually doing our jobs, and we're getting something powerful done, and...
And I'm encouraged.
We need to finish it.
We need to go across the finish line and get the job done.
But I think we're going to get that done.
A major tax cut for every American by the end of the year.
And then we need to go back to Obamacare repeal and regulation reform and unleash small businesses so that we have more and more jobs, higher wages.
And we ought to trust the people and take power out of Washington.
Absolutely.
Thank you so much.
At Ted Cruz, next time I want you to have told Senator Sanders to stop throwing cats.
We'll be back after this. - - - What are you doing?
I didn't, uh, I don't think we made sure it's that big.
Oh yeah, now we sell 3X and 4X for burly men.
Or women.
Yeah, right.
So who is, like, the person you want to see in these, like, the most, but the least likely to put one on?
You mean, like, on three?
Yeah, three.
Ready?
Alright.
Three, two, one.
Michael Moore.
LottoWithCrowderShop.com.
Shirts are now available in 3X and 4XL for the Burley Man in you and the fat f***s.
Now listen to this.
All right.
Senator Ted Cruz.
Boom.
Good guy.
Fun guy.
He has more fun on the show.
We have an editor-in-chief of Ladder.
I think he's starting to.
I think he gets it.
He gets it.
Editor-in-chief of Ladder.com.
At Courtney Scoffs.
F's.
Not T's.
Not Scott's.
Not Scott's.
Courtney Kirchoff, how are you?
I'm great.
You've never been sitting in that chair, I don't think.
Well, not when the camera's on me.
How does it feel?
It feels...
Not any different.
Yeah, it doesn't feel any different?
No, there's no superpowers here.
Courtney learned during the break that Jared's cough button is optional.
It's really more just of a placeholder.
It is.
It's more of a decoration for my desk.
It's more of a decoration.
You just cough and you don't even use it.
No.
Don't even use a cough button.
Seems like extra work.
And by the way, I think I'm hearing myself through your microphone right now.
So I don't know what's going on there.
I'm just hearing myself like I'm talking in a hallway.
Sounds kind of cool.
I guess it sounds kind of, but I'm not a fan of it.
Someone's losing an employment contract.
Now it sounds better.
Courtney.
Yes.
Al Franken, your thoughts.
My thoughts.
Well, I would like to note, to quote Ted Cruz, that it took seven accusers in the party of feminism before Franken decided, ah, maybe I'll resign eventually.
Do you think that's a good thing that he resigned or not?
I think he's resigning so that the Republicans, or I'm sorry, so that the Democrats can say, ha ha, we're clearing house now, you need to get rid of Roy Moore.
Yeah, I know, but do you think he should resign?
Yes.
Really?
Yeah.
See, I'm surprised.
And I was saying this earlier.
Jared just hates him.
He thought a principal was Al Franken's a dick.
I was like, that's not a principal.
I stand by it.
But I don't think it should be based on the number of accusers but the quality of evidence.
And I think it's crappy quality of evidence all around right now.
There is photographic evidence of him grabbing a lady's ta-tas.
He didn't grab her ta-tas.
She was wearing a breastplate and his hands were near it.
He wasn't groping her ta-tas.
Okay.
And was she the Playboy model?
No.
This was a staged picture, wasn't it?
No.
I know.
Well, he's grabbed a...
Yeah, that's pretty bad.
Okay.
It's pretty bad, but he didn't resign because of that.
He resigned because of the number of accusers.
You know what I mean?
So if you were to be like, okay, that's on me.
Grabbed her tits while she was sleeping.
That was bad.
I'm out.
Fine.
But now it's just because there's seven people.
That's when he should have gone out, I think.
Right.
But the pressure mounted and...
The other Democrats said, hey, this is looking pretty bad for us being the party of feminism.
Maybe you should go so that we can point fingers at the Republicans and tell them to get rid of their bad guys.
I have mixed feelings on all of it because I think on one hand, I kind of find myself in the Mitt Romney camp of all.
Somebody has to have standards, but then it's kind of like with the Rory Moore and everything.
I don't want...
To just not have the House and Senate, because everyone steps down either.
Right.
I kind of want Roy Moore there.
But on the other hand, it's like, somebody has to.
See, this is the problem where you don't understand principle.
You think Al Franken's a dick as a principle, and you're like, I don't know about Roy Moore.
What do you think with Roy Moore?
On the sliding scale, so I would say harassment, abuse, assault is probably on a spectrum, unlike gender.
Um...
What Roy Moore is accused of doing is a lot worse than what Franken is accused of doing.
Yeah, it's a lot worse.
But what is the evidence?
How strong is the evidence?
I think that has to be the standard in all of it.
Because we've written about it, you know, with Lana Dunham saying, I think I was raped because I thought kind of in a plan.
We're like, that's absurd.
Right.
I think we have to apply the same standard here.
What is the strength of the evidence?
What's the quality of evidence with Roy Moore?
It doesn't look good.
No.
No.
And it's underage girls, so, you know.
Well, I don't know.
I don't know unless he's changed it.
I don't know that he's ever actually denied the underage girl thing.
Right.
He's just denied that there was no consent.
No?
Unless I'm mistaken?
Does anyone else here read the news?
No?
Not my thing.
Okay, so if Franken's gone, you would have Roy Morgan?
I would have Roy Morgan.
Okay.
Yeah.
What about President Donald Trump?
That's the next one.
They're trying to say, you know, the Access Hollywood tapes.
That's what, and that's what Franken was saying in his apology.
Yeah, the non-apology.
The non-apology speech on the floor was that I can't believe that I'm having to resign when there's a...
Pervert in the White House.
It's pretty bad all around.
This is not a proud moment for the United States.
Not necessarily, no.
Not our finest moment.
No.
The difference, I would say, is with Frank and we have photographic evidence of him actually grabbing someone.
Or mock grabbing someone.
We have audio of Trump saying that he did it.
No, he didn't say he did.
He said you can do it.
You can do it.
Yeah.
What bothered me about the Trump thing—here's the thing.
There's no evidence there of sexual assault from Trump.
What bothered me is he was talking about someone else's wife.
He was talking about a specific woman in Access Hollywood, how hot she was.
And if I were her husband, I would kick his ass.
Right.
You could grab—okay.
But it's not—he never actually claimed that he committed sexual assault.
No, he was just bragging about how famous he was and that he could do it.
He could do it.
But he didn't necessarily say they were unwilling.
He was kind of saying, like, they like it!
Yeah, it was disgusting if you listen to it.
You're like, oh, God, I guess he is saying that they are giving consent if he's famous enough.
Right.
Which is pretty sick.
That's a bit of a stretch.
It's a stretch.
As a woman, is that like...
I didn't like it.
Oh, yeah, a real estate mogul just grabbed me by the undercarriage.
Yeah, no.
No.
Not a turn on.
No.
Alright, so there you go.
Straight from the lady's mouth.
I mean, you know, we gave you the female perspective.
Yeah.
We tried.
Don't grab their genitals when they don't want you to.
It's just...
You know, it's not how we like to be wooed.
No.
So much.
Yeah.
It's a rough time.
It's a rough time and it's tough because it's been obfuscated so much by the whole idea of rape culture.
And we've always said that, right?
That there are real victims of harassment and assault.
And when you muddy the waters with, he whistled at me, ergo rape.
Yeah.
Now you're crying wolf and...
Yeah, there is one landmark case where the guy was raping while blowing on a whistle.
And I was like, well, that's not, it's happenstance.
It's what we call circumstantial.
He's raping while whistling.
Yes.
The crime wasn't the Oscar Mayer weenie whistle.
It was the unlawful penetration.
This is true.
Yeah.
Not consensual.
Yes, exactly.
So, what were you going to say?
My question still comes down to the macro point of the idea, would you rather have a scumbag that represents your side and gets the things done you want in office, or would you rather have, you know, be clear of that conscious, have your conscious clear of those kind of things, but have the other side in which is doing all kinds of crap you don't.
That's kind of what a lot of people came down to with the Hillary-Trump thing anyways.
Kind of thinking like the scumbag you...
I think I'm following you.
You think you're following me?
I'm not entirely sure.
Well, think about Warren Moore, okay?
For instance, would you rather have the majority in the Senate?
Yeah.
Or would you rather have...
Well, I think that it comes down to, right, the other perspective is, well, if Roy Moore is there, you may never get another Republican in there again, kind of like President Donald Trump.
You know, he really hadn't been doing a whole lot outside of Jerusalem, Mexico City policy.
He hasn't been accomplishing a whole lot as president, and he's been pissing a lot of people off.
You might never have another Republican again unless he really has a super strong showing the next couple of years, right?
So there's that argument.
Roy Moore comes from a deep red state, so is he going to tarnish the Republican brand with this?
Possible.
Yeah, I mean, I don't know.
He's going to tarnish Roy Moore's brand for sure.
Like, you're not going to see him in a Wheaties box anytime soon.
All right, we have to wrap this up.
We had Senator Ted Cruz at Courtney Scoffs.
You can read her on louderwithcrowder.com.
People stop searching Scots, right?
I don't know if they do or not.
I just see the SEO results.
It's like, wow, you guys.
Listen.
F's.
F's.
Scoffs.
Like felony.
I don't even know why she would.
That's not healthy that that's the first place she would go, like felony.
We'll be back after this to wrap up.
There you go.
Frisk.
Frisk.
There it is again, so strong.
Look who I found.
I have nowhere to go.
Hopper!
Hopper!
What?
You mean, you miss me?
Hopper, of course we missed you, buddy.
But I thought you didn't want me no more now that you have SimpliSafe and I'm a guard dog.
SimpliSafe is just as much for dogs as anything else.
You're the most important thing in the house.
I'll never leave.
You mean it?
Hopper.
He's such a good boy.
SimpliSafe can never replace you.
Yeah.
We can work together.
SimpliSafe can help make me a better guard dog.
Of course it can't replace me.
I don't know what I was thinking.
SimpliSafe can help monitor and warn, but it can't scare and bite bad guys like Hopper can.
Oh no!
Buggers!
Quick!
Run everybody!
They can't cut you off!
*Sings* *Sings* *Sings* *Sings* *Sings* *Sings* *Sings* *Sings* *Sings* *Sings*
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
oh. calling it.
Do it.
Take it.
Take it.
Courtney Scoffs, Senator Ted Cruz, thank you so much for being on.
Good show.
Next week, regular shows.
I think we might not have a show on Wednesday.
I'm not entirely sure.
The next week after that, no shows all week for Mug Club members because we have a 16-hour live stream on the 21st.
16 hours.
And the reason was we thought, what can we do to top waterboarding?
How could we self-inflict pain to a more severe degree?
Yeah.
That's still legal.
Still legal.
And we looked into a lot of options.
Most of what I wanted to do to knock it, Jared, was entirely...
It was not lawful.
Not in America, no.
But CNN. Apparently still allowed.
Yeah.
In 48 states.
And we're going to watch it for 16 hours.
So what's the point?
We are going to show you just how biased it is.
You'll be able to watch with us in real time and see what news coverage is like.
You hear people all the time talk about how biased media is.
But you're often hearing them talk about media.
We want you to watch media with us.
And it's going to be a 16-hour Christmas party.
We have all kinds of guests.
I don't even know all the guests that we're going to have.
Think of any A-listers on this show.
They're going to be on there, coming in.
And then we have some games.
And, of course, we have the world premiere of the miniseries, YouTube Carol.
The tale of Ebenezer YouTube and his covetous old censoring, throttling ways.
And we need the first three days to get drunk enough to endure.
Yes.
The whole thing.
Oh, is that all about you?
That's about all I have to say.
That's about all my thoughts is just getting shwayzy.
Getting shwayzy?
Shwayzy.
What does that mean?
I'll hear you later.
What does shwayzy mean?
Drunk.
Shwayzy means getting drunk?
Yeah.
Are you making this up?
Is this like Barack Obama saying I got wee-weed up?
No, this is really...
It's more real than Palestine.
I don't think her comment is getting Shwayze a real thing.
Yeah, absolutely real.
I had heard only this last year that chill means to fornicate, to engage in coitus.
I don't know that that's true.
Shwayze a real thing.
Palestine, not a real thing.
Exactly.
We learned something.
Shwayze a real thing.
Palestine, not so much.
All right, there are a couple of things I was going to sit here and talk about, but, you know, let's go with this.
You're a bad person.
Or you're looking at the camera.
Yeah.
You're a bad person.
I'm a bad person.
I think a big part, we were just talking about this, doing the Change My Mind, we'll have plenty of those segments going up.
You know, the ability to rationalize, it starts with being critical of yourself.
We've been taught that you have to love yourself, that self-esteem is a birthright.
Really?
You're a bad person.
We talked about this with Dennis Prager.
If you believe that humans are all inherently great and wonderful the way they are, or if you believe that human beings are inherently flawed or evil.
And you know, it's important because if you think of it that way, it doesn't mean that you need to be depressed.
It doesn't mean that you don't be grateful.
You should live a life, if you live a life of gratitude, being grateful, and recognizing that, you know what?
You're inherently a bad person.
Inherently, your selfish desires are usually not the best approach.
I've come to realize that recently.
It changes your life.
Good example.
This is pretty personal, but with my wife.
We've heard about love languages.
This is a term that goes around.
You know, funny enough, people think because I express myself verbally all the time that I express myself emotionally verbally.
It's kind of the opposite.
I express myself logically.
I rationalize verbally.
Express emotion through action.
That's a big thing for me.
I'm an acts of service guy.
Now, my wife is a woman of verbal words of affirmation, as most women are.
There were some miscommunications that happened this week.
And I remember thinking like, well, you know what?
But I do X, Y, and Z.
And this came down from this argument of me thinking, look at all that I do for you.
But that's not really what she needed.
That's not what most women need.
You'll find this out, guys.
Most women want to hear.
Most women, when they know that you've listened to the problem, that problem is fixed.
For us, we want the problem to be fixed.
We have a solution.
For example, I got in a huge fight with my wife one time because I have a charger in my office.
I have a home office for my iPad.
I said, please do not move this.
It would get moved.
I'd come into the show.
My iPad wouldn't be charged.
And it was about the charger.
She genuinely thought it was about something else.
She genuinely thought it was...
I don't know.
I don't know what she thought about it.
I don't know if she thought it was about sex.
No.
I don't know if she thought it was about the remote control.
I don't know if she thought it was about the fact that it wasn't...
No.
It was about the charger.
And it was a very clear path to fixing it.
Just please put the charger where it is.
And it took a third party to say, just leave the damn charger there!
That's one that I want.
It's incredibly rare.
On the flip side, I think men do this a lot.
We will look at what I do.
We tend to act more than write letters.
We have those friends who, of course, write every single Facebook intimate letter and you just want to throw up.
That's not me.
If you don't share this five times and tag your favorite friends, you're a bad friend.
Right.
But where does that come from?
That comes from assuming that you're good.
That comes from assuming that your motives are pure.
That comes from assuming that you are correct.
I'm not correct.
I was incorrect.
I thought that the certain things that I did were enough because I wasn't saying enough nice things.
It's a mistake.
I willingly admit it.
That was a big deal that I was going through this week.
It takes a long time to just kind of humble yourself.
It doesn't matter what I did.
Even if I did that thinking that I was doing the right thing, ultimately, I'm doing it because it's the way that I'm most comfortable showing affection.
Ultimately, I did it because it's the way that I'm most comfortable communicating with people.
But that's not really giving somebody else what they want, particularly in a relationship.
The same applies when it comes to critical thinking.
You're going to go out and say, well, you have to use the pronouns that I want.
Why?
Because you assume that you're a good person, therefore your conclusion is right.
You assume that you're a smart person, therefore your conclusion is correct.
You assume that you are a smart, virtuous little tranny who hasn't even gone through the operation.
Therefore, I have to use them, they, their.
It's not going to happen.
And a lot of people say, how do you keep the patience with this change my mind thing?
I'm not by nature a patient person.
A big part of it, and I've noticed that I apply that in those segments, but I haven't been applying it all the time with my life.
I think all of us are guilty of this.
Certainly I am.
I'm kind of obviously being vulnerable here to some degree.
When I am sitting there and someone is saying, use these pronouns, when someone is saying, well, actually, all of these societies have had X amount of genders, I can't even remember what they said, something about ancient Egypt, I don't know.
The whole thing is non-gender, it's a gender-neutral blur.
A big blur, a heavy blur.
A buzz-cutted, Bobby Hill-looking blur.
I sit there, and this is different from when I'm debating.
This is different from when I have the microphone on a stage and someone chimes in and someone is being abusive.
At that point, you need to protect yourself.
So if you come to one of our live shows and you think it's a Change My Mind, don't.
You're not going to put one over on Jared, let alone myself.
But with Change My Mind, it is a constant process of me going, okay, maybe I'm wrong.
Okay, maybe I'm incorrect.
Maybe my logic is bad.
If you constantly assume that your logic is bad, or possibly bad, and needs to be corrected, or at the very least needs to be questioned, you are in a pool of very little risk.
Of being incorrect at that point, if you're just asking the question to try and correct your logic.
A good example is combat sports.
I'm just talking about odds and percentages here.
Assuming human nature is not good, assuming that you're wrong, assuming that you're bad, puts you in a position where if you're having that conversation, you are in the least amount of risk and they are at the greatest amount of risk.
Right?
People watch boxing and think it's two guys swatting.
Why can a boxer beat the hell out of some guy in the street?
It's not because he can punch harder.
Look at Floyd Mayweather.
The guy couldn't crack an egg.
What it is is you can cut an angle.
This is what a boxer does.
If I'm standing here, right, I'm trying to do this with a camera, boom, we both have a 50-50 shot.
Now, if I go outside to your weak side and you're still there, guess what?
Most people reach, oh, I can hit you, you can't hit me.
Doesn't mean that I'm guaranteed to have a knockout shot.
What it does mean is I've premeditatedly taken an approach, I've set in my mind that I am going to try and fight this battle that puts me in the least amount of risk possible and you at the greatest risk of damage possible.
The way to do that with your life, and I've noticed this, is to, funny enough, assume you're wrong.
Assume that if you don't do that, you're going to lose.
It would be the same thing if right now you got into a bar fight.
You said, you know what?
I'm sure that I'm stronger than this guy.
I'm sure that I'm better.
And you line up right up square.
You don't know who he is.
He could be Bruce.
I don't want to use Bruce Lee as an example.
You'd kick Bruce Lee back.
Okay, I don't know.
He could be Vladimir Klitschko.
He could be George St.
Pierre.
The point is, if you assume, eh, I got this, you might get really hurt.
And the same thing when it comes to logic.
If you assume, no, my logic is sound, you might not.
And if that other person is saying, hey, my logic might not be sound, who would you rather be?
And who would you rather be in a relationship?
In a relationship, if the goal is to ultimately be happy, would you rather be the person who says, I got it all figured out.
She just needs to get her grip together.
While she's simultaneously saying, you know what, maybe I can accommodate.
Maybe I'm incorrect here.
Who would you rather be?
Who do you think is going to be happier?
Who would you rather be when it comes to a debate?
Who would you rather be when it comes to the logical process, the critical thinking process?
Do you think that you're better off being the person saying, nah, I got this figured out, gender-neutral pronouns, you're gonna use Z, there are countless genders, it's not even a question?
Or do you think you'd rather be the person saying, I think there are two genders, but maybe I'm wrong.
Let me tread lightly here.
Let me find the right angle to see what they're about.
And see if I can correct what I'm doing.
In relationships, in logic, with finances, assuming that you are wrong, assuming that your very nature as a human being is corruptible and it's already been corrupted and it is your job to rectify it, is a better approach to life.
When combined with gratitude, you'd be a lot happier.
As some self-help guru, Maybe you're going to be a miserable bastard and it can't help you.
But I will tell you, that's done a whole lot for me.
And someone in this room needs to do it.
Hint.
He's not gay.
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