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Feb. 6, 2016 - Louder with Crowder

02:11:23

#60 Ben Shapiro, Milo and Iowa Coin Toss Czar | Louder With Crowder

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	You've found yourself at the junction where worlds meet.
	Politics.
	Civility.
	How about honesty in this country, folks?
	Entertainment.
	I don't like entertainment.
	And a whole bunch of other stuff.
	It's about having a healthy body image.
	You have a very unhealthy body.
	You should have a horrible body image.
	Not a big moment for the market.
	We are definitely going to get letters.
	You're listening to Talk Radio's Strangest Animal.
	You're a strange animal.
	You're getting louder with Crowder.
	But you're a strange animal.
	I've got to follow.
	Oh, I'm in the spiritus.
	And that sound.
	It sounds like God is talking to me with my echo in my headphones.
	Louder with Crowder, we're coming to you.
	That sound means it's the weekend.
	Producing with me in the video studio, as always, is Jared, who is not gay.
	You can follow him at Not Gay Jared.
	I have fulfilled all my legal obligations.
	And you can draw your own conclusions.
	We good?
	I appreciate that.
	We are good?
	I appreciate that.
	We're good.
	What is that echo that I was hearing?
	I'm a borderline retarded.
	That's hate speech.
	That's hate speech.
	That's okay because it's self-degrading hate speech.
	Yeah, I had the wrong fader up.
	Are we good now?
	Oh, we're good.
	We have it working?
	Oh, we're good.
	Well, listen, this is a big day for Lotta with Crowder.
	To people listening terrestrially, of course, this is the first video live stream.
	So people can either be watching this right now on LottaWithCrowder.com or the YouTube's, hello, full-on video live stream.
	Not Gay Jared has been working on this all day.
	So to those listening at our wonderful home station in Wham, our affiliates, WEZS New Hampshire, WJHC in Florida, Cone, Alaska, Patriot Northern Michigan, Traverse City, all the others out there, thank you!
	But you can now watch this crap live.
	Ken, thanks to the beauty of the event.
	Has the audience seen you yet?
	Show them.
	They have not seen my little mug.
	Tell me that guy is not gay.
	Tell me you buy that.
	Not gay.
	But of course, legally.
	Okay.
	Big week, obviously.
	Iowa.
	Well, big show.
	We're going to have Ben Shapiro on.
	Milo Yiannopoulos.
	Courtney Kirchhoff will join us after that.
	We also have the Iowa caucus official coin toss czar on later this evening.
	They have czars for so many things.
	They have czars for everything.
	Which is crazy.
	Yeah, all things.
	I didn't know.
	All things have czars.
	I didn't know.
	So big thing, obviously, Iowa.
	Iowa was won by Ted Cruz.
	Not only Ted Cruz, but Rubio had a surprising showing.
	Rubio by a spanking.
	Cruz by a spanking.
	By a spanking.
	By a spanking.
	Drink your caffeine because your brain's not working yet.
	You have the wrong fader.
	Here's the deal.
	Of course it's been marred by controversy now with Ted Cruz.
	And we'll be talking about that with Ben Shapiro later.
	He's a Jew, Cheryl!
	And then we'll be talking about that with Milo Yiannopoulos, who's a gay.
	You said it so nonchalantly.
	Yeah, well.
	He's one of the gays.
	Yeah.
	This is gay stuff.
	Pardon my French, but you're an a**hole.
	It's true.
	Yep.
	Well, I'm talking about you.
	Oh.
	A**hole.
	So.
	Taken.
	Trump lost.
	Now, of course, everyone was talking about how he was winning the polls before that.
	And this is a big deal.
	Listen, wherever you line up, whether it's Trump, whether it's Ted Cruz, this is pretty important.
	Because now you've fallen to one of two camps.
	You buy everything that Trump's been selling wholesale, that there was a controversy that the Cruz campaign went out and told everyone Carson was dropping out of the campaign, and the only reason that Ted Cruz won was because of voter fraud.
	So you believe that, and we'll get to that, and maybe you do believe that, and that's fine.
	Or you believe something else.
	Which is what I believe.
	And let me tell you why I believe this.
	Now, it does seem that there were some volunteers from Cruz's campaign that came out and told people, hey, it looks like Carson is suspending his campaign.
	Because it came from CNN, which came from Carson himself talking about going to Florida.
	That comes from volunteers.
	Now, I've been to enough of these political rallies and these CPACs and these kinds of events that they're incredibly disorganized.
	And all it takes is one person in a chain of command to say something in the quizlings.
	Okay, they follow along, they do it!
	So, I'm not willing to believe...
	Copy your VP! Copy your VP! Yes, you can, intern number five from Lynchburg, Virginia.
	So I'm not inclined to believe it goes.
	We don't have any evidence that that went to the top.
	Listen, if Ted Cruz personally said, hey, I want you to lie and tell everyone that Ben Carson dropped out, and the only way I will win this is through ill-gotten gain, screw Carson, we need to take out Trump.
	If that happened, I don't want Cruz to win.
	And he's a bad person, if that happened.
	We have no evidence that that happened, okay?
	And something else, too, Carson actually did better than we thought in the polls.
	Up to 2% better than the polls beforehand.
	Rubio did.
	As a matter of fact, everybody did better.
	Aside from Donald Trump.
	So, and I know people watching this on YouTube right now are going, Stephen doesn't like Trump?
	What is this?
	What is this?
	No, listen, I've never been a big fan of Donald Trump.
	There are a lot of people I can vote for in clear conscience, and Trump's been invited on the show.
	Here's what I think happened.
	And you can correct me if you think I'm wrong here, not Gay Jared.
	I think a lot of people, and we were just talking with Gavin McGinnis about this, I think a lot of people, there are a lot of great things about Trump that I supported about Trump.
	No political correctness, shining a light on the political establishment, George Bush fighting back.
	I get that.
	I appreciate all that.
	I think a lot of people appreciated that.
	And I think a lot of people also realize he's not fit to be commander-in-chief.
	And so if you look, it's not just Cruz.
	It's not just Rubio.
	It's not just – it's everybody.
	If you look, it would seem that there's a certain percentage of Trump hat-wearing, bumper sticker, make America great again campaign fanatics who went in and when it came time to pull the lever said – Jokes over Cruz.
	Or...
	Jokes over Rubio.
	I think that is much more likely than every conspiracy.
	Here's my thing with Donald Trump and Dickerson.
	You can tweet me at S. Crowder.
	We don't have the live chat going on YouTube because you're all animals.
	But you can tweet me at S. Crowder.
	Or you can tweet it, not gay, Jared.
	Has Donald Trump ever attacked Ted Cruz on his ideas yet?
	I mean, I know he's he's Canadian, so he's unfit.
	Goldman Sachs.
	All these results should be nullified.
	No, Ted Cruz did not wait.
	Donald Trump actually was.
	But we have that.
	Has there ever been any debate where he's really gone after Cruz aggressively over his ideas?
	Tweet me at S. Crowder.
	As Ben Carson says, I want to know.
	I want to know.
	Don't you just love it when Ben Carson gets get out?
	I love it so much.
	Have anyone seen his college transcripts?
	Why are you asking that?
	I want to know!
	I want to know!
	Do you see I want to know?
	He's like that reporter who goes ghetto in five seconds.
	Oh, that's the funniest thing ever.
	That's Ben Carson, Dr.
	Ben Carson.
	Well, listen, Dr.
	Ben Carson's from Detroit to a single mom and tried to stab somebody.
	When they say he's not black enough about the Colin Powells, about the Condoleezza Rices, they even try to pull it with Herman Cain.
	It's like, listen, Dr.
	Ben Carson's from Detroit to a single mom and tried to stab somebody, okay?
	He's all-star black.
	He's not playing in the feeder system.
	But has Donald Trump attacked Ted Cruz on ideas yet?
	Gosh.
	I can't think of anything.
	I can't think of anything.
	And if it is, it's certainly maybe 10%.
	And this is one thing, like I've said, you know, at least with the Bernie Sanders, I respect him.
	And I respect Ben Carson with this immensely.
	He's not my guy.
	I don't want him to win.
	They really haven't gotten into the personal attacks.
	And honestly, Ted Cruz didn't.
	He'll be back on the show, Senator Ted Cruz.
	Remember when he first came on and I asked him about Trump?
	He said, I'm not going to get into that.
	At that point, he had not done anything.
	His biggest mistake was beating Trump in the polls.
	He had not done anything.
	And at that point in time, his chances of any kind of winning was really pretty much a long shot.
	He's come a long way since then.
	He's come a long way since then.
	But we talked about he had a strong ground game in Iowa.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	So that's what's most concerning to me.
	And listen, regardless of where you line up on politics, right, we always hear people say, oh, I'm tired of same old, same old.
	We're going to talk about same old, same old politics.
	It's the personal attacks and running someone to the mud and not talking about ideas and not making progress.
	So why is that OK when one person does it and another person doesn't do it?
	Listen, Bernie Sanders, I think he's insane.
	I think he's out of his mind with free everything with the health care at the college.
	But he has not run a dirty campaign.
	He's been very, very...
	And when you think about the Clintons, that is an easy opponent.
	So much material.
	My opponent's plans are unrealistic.
	And then Bernie Sanders, this broad kill the guy.
	That's it?
	That's it!
	Mic drop.
	Mic drop.
	Just walk off.
	So I do respect that about Bernie Sanders.
	I do respect that about Ben Carson.
	Well, I want you to tweet me.
	Let me know what you think happened.
	We'll get a poll up here on Twitter.
	You think that all of this is ill-gotten gain?
	Here's one thing, the one thing about Donald Trump that I think everyone can agree on if you're being objective.
	He's never met a victory that wasn't wholly legitimate, and he's never met a defeat that wasn't entirely foul play.
	Before this, I never heard him say a single poll was rigged against him, that he was winning, right?
	I'm winning every poll.
	Listen, we're going to win so much, you're going to be sick of winning.
	We're going to win so much, you're going to be sick of winning.
	Okay?
	And then, the second, the vote matters, and he loses.
	This is rigged.
	Nobody cares about the vote.
	There's no reason for it.
	Same thing.
	If a poll changes, that poll's rigged.
	That's all it is.
	It's entirely personal.
	And that's just something.
	I don't know why people don't see it.
	I don't know why people do not see that with the guy.
	And the pandering.
	You know, the two Corinthians.
	This is what you like, right?
	Liberty.
	That's the whole thing.
	That's the whole thing.
	That's it.
	That's the point.
	He just struck him as a guy who decided to run for office.
	And he's like, ugh.
	I should probably pick up a handbook on the conservative stuff.
	Yeah.
	Second Amendment.
	That's what you like, right?
	You know, guns.
	That's for you, huh?
	That's what you're into?
	Yeah.
	Everything he talks about just seems that way.
	It's just like 2 Corinthians about everything.
	It's just 2 Corinthians is the most blatant and hilarious of all of them.
	It is pretty funny.
	Well, then he goes and talks about divorce.
	And he goes, except none of you will get divorced.
	Because none of you, because I know, because you're Christian, right?
	That's the whole thing.
	That's what you like.
	All right, how long do we have to the end of this segment here?
	About 30 seconds.
	About 30 seconds?
	I'm not hearing any music.
	Does that mean you forgot to hit the finger?
	No, it's coming.
	It's coming?
	It's going to be good.
	All right, well, to people watching this, and we have commercials that run live if you're listening terrestrially.
	We have commercials that run in the live video stream, and they are not FCC approved.
	But I tell you what, we're going to stay here and fight it out in the cesspool that is YouTube.
	We'll be back.
	Everybody was kung fu fighting.
	Those kids were fast as lightning.
	In fact, it was a little bit frightening.
	But they fought with expert timing.
	Whoa, Jared, what are you doing?
	Shoot bad guys.
	With what?
	AR-15.
	Where'd you get it?
	AR-15.com.
	Oh, there's another one.
	Kaboom.
	You got him.
	Yeah.
	Thank God for AR-15.com.
	They have AR-15 and accessories for sale and the best advice there is on the web.
	Oh, no, there's another one.
	Kaboom.
	You got him.
	Yeah.
	With your what?
	AR-15.
	From where?
	AR-15.com.
	That's the best place to go, and that's the takeaway, because this commercial's about to stop!
	And now time for Gentle Insults with Dr. Ben.
	Ben Carson.
	I would certainly acknowledge that Dr.
	Rand Paul has been one of the most consistent figures in the party.
	And I do have respect for his consistency on the issues.
	And I don't think that anybody else should have anything but the most admiration for someone to be as consistent as him.
	Hopefully they don't allow anything from that to be taken away by the fact that he does come across sometimes like a bitchy toilet bowl brush.
	This has been Gentle Insults with Dr.
	Mr. Benny Carson.
	The End
	people think I'm stupid for you.
	Oh, my God.
	Did that go out on radio?
	Your duck lips?
	Did your duck lips comment go out on radio?
	We're back from the break.
	Damn it, this is the problem with the live stream, and now we're going to lose affiliates.
	Ladder with Crowder, we are back.
	Ben Shapiro coming up after the break, which I'm pretty excited about.
	People watching the live stream now, by the way, for those listening terrestrially, have seen Not Gay Jared for the first time.
	The feedback, Sam Schur says, 100 times better than SNL commercial skits.
	The high angle lens has a slimming effect.
	Ben Carson impression is spot on.
	People love the AR-15 ad.
	They should know that my camera's white balance is not the best.
	I'm actually a lot more tan than I appear.
	Watch Jared and his feminism mannerisms confuse one's gaydar.
	Conclusion drawn.
	This is why we have the best fans.
	It's fair.
	It's fair.
	Oh, by the way, I figured out the voice of God so I could do it on command.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	Okay, hold on.
	Give me a voice of God.
	The voice of God.
	Jared, your sexual lifestyle is immoral.
	That's pretty awesome.
	That was pretty good.
	That's pretty good.
	Okay, I want you to bring this up on screen.
	Something that's really important here, we're talking about establishment a lot.
	And I think it's important for us to define what that means, because that's a term.
	Now, being anti-establishment doesn't inherently make you anti-conservative, doesn't inherently make you virtuous.
	So when we're looking at candidates right here, do we have this up on the screen?
	So really quickly, I have a list of candidates and percentage of their donations that are smaller donations, meaning donations that haven't just come from giant PACs or donors.
	To his credit, Bernie Sanders, I don't think they count unions here, unfortunately, is up there.
	Ben Carson, Mike Huckabee, Carly Fiorina, Ted Cruz.
	Those are the top five, right, with Ted Cruz coming from small donations about 42% of the time.
	That's important because when people now, the whole attack, right, in the Republican primary from Donald Trump is just establishment.
	But Donald Trump, he's been endorsed by Bob Dole, Scott Brown, and now Jimmy Carter just came out this week.
	And Jimmy Carter, I mean, God bless him, you know, he's got the...
	Why are you laughing?
	I don't know.
	That guy.
	Are you laughing about his...
	You're laughing about his disease?
	Is that why you're laughing?
	No, cancer's never...
	I mean, it's usually kind of funny.
	Damn it, first thing he gets to.
	It's the gift that keeps on giving the whole year.
	Did we just make cancer jokes?
	That's not allowed.
	There's only a second segment.
	This is bad.
	This is a bad start.
	Well, listen, we already had...
	When my dad had cancer, we had people send in their best cancer jokes.
	You know what my favorite cancer joke is?
	Someone sent this to me.
	My dad had cancer.
	The surgery has been removed.
	My favorite cancer joke is a guy goes into the doctor.
	Doctor says, okay, got some bad news.
	You've got cancer and you've got Alzheimer's.
	And the patient says, could be worse.
	At least I don't have cancer.
	What I love about that joke is it's such an old-timey old man joke, drinking Schlitz at the bar, but it's also really dark and twisted.
	It has the best of both worlds.
	So Jimmy Carter came out, and the funny thing he said about Trump is the reason he would rather see Trump than Cruz is because Trump has no principles.
	It's totally malleable.
	So here is something that is.
	Yeah, Chris Christie, Jeb Bush, John Kasich, Martin O'Malley, Hillary Clinton.
	These are people, and Donald Trump, funnily enough, towards the bottom of that list, these are people who have giant, big blocks of cash, meaning coming in from people who are probably big businesses, big PACs.
	Jeb Bush is a perfect example, right?
	You and I have talked about this.
	How is Jeb Bush still in this?
	Nobody I know likes him.
	Now, if you want to talk about establishment, Jeb Bush or Chris Christie, you could accurately lob that accusation.
	Right?
	That's absolutely true.
	Yes.
	When it's just coming from some big money people really like them, but nobody else likes them.
	It's kind of like conservative content out there right now.
	Right?
	The reason we've done pretty well, and I'm incredibly grateful, is it's determined by the audience.
	I once had a producer say, you know, radio actually is not about the audience.
	It's about the sponsor.
	You're just selling the audience.
	And so that's what's happened.
	That's why conservative radio has gotten so one note.
	A lot of wealthy people in the Republican Party are dying off.
	They're out of touch and they don't know what people want.
	So they support people like Jeb Bush, Chris Christie.
	I have this on the screen.
	Nobody in the Republican Party likes Ted Cruz.
	He's the most reviled, hated member of the Republican Party because he called Mitch McConnell a liar.
	Here's the deal.
	You may not like him, okay?
	You may think he's arrogant, and I think that's a valid criticism with Ted Cruz.
	People could feel that way because he called people liars.
	He basically was willing to shut down the government when Republicans said this is a bad idea.
	He said, nope, don't care, I'm going to do it.
	I like that because I'm an arrogant ass.
	I have no problem with people saying, hey, hey, you should play ball.
	And I take my ball and go home.
	I understand that people don't like that about Ted Cruz.
	But what you can't do is say, nobody in the republic, nobody likes him.
	And then say, and he's establishment, okay?
	I am fighting him because he's a career politician.
	Someone like a Ted Cruz has done everything he claimed he would do when he went in.
	He was elected, went, did what he claimed.
	Now, you may not like it.
	That's fine.
	But when we say establishment, this is important because it's something that's used for mindless people right now.
	Very unintelligent people throw it around just as a term.
	And you know this, Jared.
	We work with lottowithcrowder.com.
	We do stories every day, and we get ripped off.
	We constantly have to compete with clickbait.
	Anytime you put in BAM! BOM! That's going to hurt the establishment, you're guaranteed a ton of clicks.
	Yes.
	I think that's why it's so easy for them to just take the Donald Trump stuff and just conflate it with all the establishments against Trump.
	It's like double time for clicks.
	But it's important.
	So we'll have it up on the screen.
	We'll have it up at lottowithcrowder.com.
	This gives you an idea as to who is really establishment, who's getting big money donors.
	I'm surprised to see Carly Fiorina is high up there because everyone was told that she was getting all the people who jumped from Jeb.
	But this week...
	Rand Paul.
	I like Rand Paul.
	He had like a toilet hairbrush, but I like him.
	Who else was out?
	Rand Paul.
	Ben Carson just suspended his campaign.
	And who else?
	Who else?
	Huckabee, Rand Paul.
	Someone else went out.
	Santorum.
	Santorum.
	Which, surprisingly...
	That he endorsed Rubio.
	They're both Catholics.
	That's true.
	I mean, that's more of who I would have thought of.
	We're birds of a feather.
	We communion together.
	The same in the rain or sun.
	The Catholics.
	Go ahead.
	That's what they do.
	I would have thought after he attended the whole Trump rally thing, ditched the primetime debate.
	He may have gone Trump.
	It was kind of confusing.
	Full disclosure, I know the Santorms pretty well, and I was surprised by that.
	We've had his daughter, Elizabeth, on this program.
	Lovely girl.
	Lovely gal, that Elizabeth Centaur.
	But I do think that as those people drop out, the lion's share of those people are going to anyone not named Trump right now.
	Whether you like it or not, I think Trump's popularity is about as high as it's going to be.
	And he has the highest unfavorability rating of any president ever.
	Sitting or running in the last 20-something years at 60%.
	George Bush, at his absolute worst, did not have a disapproval rating of 60%.
	So that's going to be tough to overcome.
	You know what?
	We're going to bring on Ben Shapiro after this to cut through this and get this video stream working well.
	Lotto with Crowder.
	Stay tuned.
	And now it's time for your Dating Advice Minute with Bill Cosby.
	Music Now, this week's letter comes to us from Allen, Michigan, from Gay Jerome.
	Gay Jerome says he has a problem with his boyfriend no longer lusting after him as he felt they did when they first met.
	Now, the toucan sounds fun!
	I'll solve a two-for-one margarita knife!
	Yeah, if that happens to the best of us, I will give you some advice.
	I don't know a whole lot about the two jarreds and the gay jarreds and where's the pitch and the catcher and who's doing the pudding pap and who's doing...
	I don't know about that, but I do know how to help relationship advice.
	Give yourself Some drugs.
	And then you're going to want to get yourself some coffee, maybe like the mocha, the vanilla, get yourself some of the flavoring to cover it up, but it's very important.
	Gotta remember that he cannot be looking when you put the drugs in his coffee or you're gonna have a problem.
	What you do is maybe you say, hey, I'm gonna make you some special coffee.
	It might be a good idea for you to maybe first go to the proxy, make the peepee, and then you drug him or then you go around the brashy-a-bop.
	This has been your Dating Advice Minute with Bill Cosby.
	. . . . . .
	Thank you.
	I'm going to do the thing.
	You said I wanted to I ain't got a thing to prove to you And I am so sorry about that.
	For people who are watching the live stream, things went out and you had to watch Hopper sit.
	I swear to you, that was the actual Hopper cam.
	He is positively inert.
	People didn't believe me, but I'm so glad to bring on our next guest.
	We finally have him on, and he's a lawyer, a scholar, and a gentleman.
	Ben Shapiro, glad to have you with us.
	Yeah, glad to be here.
	Just sorry I can't see you, Stephen, because that was going to make my evening of Yes, of course.
	I know.
	Well, right now I have this horrible homeless beard, and not gay Jared's going to be fired, of course, for the technical difficulties.
	You know, it's funny, Ben.
	We've had so many requests for you to be on.
	Actually, Ben Shapiro was on this show before it was a show, when it was just a YouTube channel.
	You were on to talk about primetime propaganda.
	Remember that?
	Oh, yeah.
	I mean, listen, Stephen, you and I go all the way back to you actually trying out your Brazilian headlocks on me in my condom.
	And you had a hernia.
	I did have a hernia.
	You had a hernia.
	I remember that.
	Not gay Jared is the second gayest thing.
	Well, that's because you, well, no, what ended up being gayers, you went with Krav Maga instead, which is just...
	That's true.
	And that didn't work out.
	No, it's just...
	And that lasted for like six weeks.
	And then it was CrossFit, which may be even gayers.
	Oh, gosh.
	Yeah, you're doing snatches for reps until you snap your spine up.
	Yeah.
	Well, listen, so full disclosure, people know Ben was actually acted as my lawyer on several contracts.
	And he can tell you, I just said, I was like, listen, these people came and they want to give me this money.
	You're a lawyer and you're Jewish.
	I hear that's good, right?
	He's like...
	Vince, I'll take care of you.
	It was basically Breaking Bad.
	Yes, exactly, pretty much.
	But it worked out.
	I didn't end up getting hurt.
	As a matter of fact, you know this, a lot of people in the conservative movement don't even own the rights to their own name.
	It's owned by someone else.
	It's trademarked.
	And I don't know if it was you or just Divine Intervention, but that's actually never happened with me.
	I've managed to maintain the rights.
	I think I trademarked it a long time ago.
	Well, I mean, I'm not the world's worst lawyer, so I did protect you somewhat.
	This is true, but now you're doing a lot more speaking and you have your own podcast.
	Where's the best place for people to find it, Ben?
	You go to dailywire.com.
	That's my website.
	So I'm still editor-at-large over at Breitbart, but I'm editor-in-chief of Daily Wire, so that's more reflective, I think, of sort of my views on a general level because I assign more pieces there.
	And then I have a radio show in the mornings on Carol 870 out here, and then obviously the podcast, which you can get it at iTunes, you can get it off SoundCloud, all the usual places.
	Right.
	Well, yeah, and I know people can get the videocast, which it's not a nightmare like ours is quite.
	So, okay, Ben, we were just sort of talking about this.
	I don't know.
	Milo will come on.
	I don't know.
	Not gay, Jared.
	Can we get them both on or no?
	It'll have to be one or the other?
	Yeah, I think so.
	Which might be good, because some of Milo's audience might not be fans of Ben.
	I was talking about this today.
	I have been getting just a rash of anti-Semitic comments, and I'm not Jewish, and If you were, you'd automatically be the center on the Jewish basketball team.
	Gary Goleman has that bit about how they had a reinforced rim at the Jewish Cultural Center.
	He's like, there have been two broken rims in the history of the NBA, not one from a 4'9 Jewish boy.
	Have you noticed a big uptick in this?
	Well, it really only started when I started becoming critical of Trump.
	So my original view of Trump was that he wasn't conservative, but he was hitting some of the right people.
	So I was enjoying him hitting a lot of the right people.
	I remember that.
	I remember that.
	I remember thinking it was odd, because I said those same things, but you seemed more emphatically pro-Trump.
	But...
	No, I mean, it really wasn't that I was emphatically pro-Trump.
	I was just anti the media that was attacking Trump for the wrong reasons.
	It was one thing to say Trump wasn't conservative.
	Totally agreed.
	But some of the hits on Trump were illegitimate.
	And so I sort of tried to at least be objective enough to take out media hits on whichever candidate.
	I mean, when they went after Ben Carson, for example, over the West Point thing, I was the one who really debunked the West Point story.
	And that saved his candidacy at the time.
	For what end, no one really knows.
	And now, you know, I feel like I'm in the same place with Cruz because there's the Carson and the Trump and now the Rubio campaigns all hitting Cruz over this.
	I don't know how much cursing you want on your podcast.
	Well, no, this goes out to a bunch of stations on Terrestrial as well.
	Oh, okay, so we'll be fair here.
	So, yeah, so these BS charges that Cruz was responsible for voter fraud.
	And basically, in the last three weeks...
	It's not even well-done charges.
	Do it!
	No, it's ridiculous.
	It's ridiculous.
	On a legal level, okay?
	Putting on the Jewish lawyer hat.
	On a legal level, this is absurd.
	And on a moral level, it's absurd, too.
	I mean, when the news first broke that Ben Carson was skipping Iowa and New Hampshire and South Carolina and heading to Florida to pick up his laundry, like there are no laundromats in Manchester, New Hampshire.
	You know, when that happened, everybody on the Internet did the same exact thing, which was, okay, his campaign's over.
	This is just Could you imagine the white privilege that would be bandied about if a white person went back to Florida to change clothes?
	That's exactly right.
	If Ben Shapiro were running for office going, I'm flying across the country to change clothes, your privilege is showing.
	I even tweeted out a Google map of all the Macy's in town for Ben Carson and all the dry cleaners in Manchester for Ben Carson.
	I doubt that the best neurosurgeon in the country has seen shops at Macy's.
	Though John Edwards, I don't know if you remember that, John Edwards used to get these designer suits and he would cut out the tag and put in a fake JCPenney tag so he could seem like one of the people.
	Did you know that?
	Well, we know that Donald Trump doesn't like Macy's because Macy's banned his ties.
	The ties that were made in China, mind you.
	Correct.
	Correct.
	But what's so absurd about this whole thing with Trump, to get back to your original question, is that I started off as kind of lukewarm on Trump, like he's hitting some of the right people.
	He's a hammer in search of a nail.
	That means sometimes he hits a nail and sometimes he hits a puppy.
	But as long as he's hitting a nail every so often, then better...
	here than not.
	And then in the last two months, he really just started to go wild, not just against Cruz, which who cares, but against Cruz on non-conservative bases.
	So all of a sudden, Cruz was a bad guy because he wasn't in favor of quasi-universal health care.
	Cruz was a bad guy because he was born in Canada.
	Cruz was a bad guy because Cruz was too right-wing and nobody liked him in the Senate.
	Like, I care if somebody's liked in the Senate.
	And this I found frustrating.
	And as soon as I started getting critical of Trump, then all of a sudden I started getting exactly what you've been getting, which is, oh, you're a coxervative.
	Oh, you're, you're, you're somebody who's, this is because you're a Jew, all you, you're Jews coming out and all this stuff.
	And it's like, well, first of all, my Jew is always out.
	I mean, like I wear this thing right here, this yarmulke.
	I wear it all the time.
	Don't take it off.
	You're going to lose your Jew powers.
	Well, exactly.
	For those two seconds right there, I was vulnerable.
	But fortunately, I'm in the protection of my protocols of the elders.
	I picture it like a tea kettle, where you take it off and the steam goes out, only it's pure cash for the Jews.
	Well, that's why I only take it off in the privacy of my own home.
	I don't want to share that cash.
	No, of course not.
	You and your secret Jew gold.
	Yeah, I do feel a kinship, I think, with the Jews because I've been the target of so many anti-Semitic comments.
	I mean, not gay Jared knows, all the time.
	I'm like, well, remember that one time I did that video on U of M and the guy yelled at me as some Zionist gulag?
	He said, you Jew?
	And I said, I'm not Jewish.
	He goes, well, you look Jewish.
	And it didn't make the cut because we knew that people would run with us and say it was anti-Semitic.
	But what I said to him, I said, like, you meet a lot of 6'3", 225 Jews, do you?
	Exactly.
	He was just like, oh, Zionist gulag.
	He called me a gulag, so I don't even know what he meant.
	People give me the Jew thing a lot, and my automatic response on Twitter is yes.
	And they'll say, like, Jew!
	Yeah, exactly.
	That's when you look at them and you see...
	I knew the great people dead from 1966!
	Who the f*** are you?
	That's exactly right.
	Where did you get the first clue?
	Was it the name Ben Shapiro?
	Could you come up with a more Jewish name?
	There is a wing of the internet that is being, I would say, forwarded by certain people on the right.
	It would be interesting to talk to Milo about this.
	I know Milo and you and I, I think, have differences on this.
	But there's a whole contingent of the alt-right.
	I don't want to say it's the entire alt-right because I don't know the entire alt-right, but it's certainly a significant percentage of the alt-right that the minute you turned against Trump, all of the latent anti-Semitism came out.
	So I was sort of like the good Jew until I started coming out against Trump.
	And the minute that happened, it was, oh, well, he's in the pay of his Zionist masters.
	And it's like, well, no, all the people who pay me aren't Jewish, actually.
	Well, what was really bizarre was I did this thing on, first off, you're Jewish, okay?
	Hitler.
	Is there anything about Hitler's policies that were right-wing conservative?
	Yes, no.
	No.
	Okay, exactly.
	I just want to make sure there's someone far smarter than me who said it.
	I did this and I wrote about it.
	We talked about the 80% tax.
	We talked about the gun control, socialized healthcare.
	And so you had two responses.
	You had leftists who were furious saying Hitler was a national socialist.
	And, you know, democratic socialism is still mob rule, which eventually will favor the nationalists because they're the majority, right?
	That's the whole problem with democracy over republic.
	So they were really mad saying Hitler was not liberal.
	And then there's a strong contingency of people who, of course, call me or you a conservative, who were mad because they also want to claim Hitler was not liberal and that he made Germany great again.
	I'm not kidding.
	These are actual tweets.
	Hitler made Germany great again.
	I've never seen this before, certainly not so openly.
	And I've talked about this.
	I do think a big...
	The big responsibility of this is from the left.
	The pendulum has, by its nature, had to swing further the other way.
	Do you think this is just sort of a natural reaction to the politically correct authoritarian speech police?
	Yeah, I mean, I think what's happened is that a lot of the people who are anti-establishment assume they're conservative because they're anti-establishment.
	So they look at the political correct regime that has been created, and their immediate response is, I hate those people, so I'll side with the people on the other side.
	But they're not necessarily on our side.
	I mean, they're not necessarily conservative.
	A lot of them are in favor of big government intervention in the economy.
	A lot of them are in favor of high trade tariffs.
	A lot of them are in favor of a tiny military.
	So I'm not sure what exactly is so traditionally right-wing about any of this.
	I mean, as far as the National Socialist thing and the Nazis being right-wing, the truth is that that was a meme that was originally started by communists.
	I mean, if you're a communist, everybody is right-wing.
	And so by communist lights, the Nazis were right-wing because if you're on the extreme left, then anything to the right of you is right.
	But certainly Hitler didn't consider himself a right-winger by any stretch of the imagination.
	He just considered himself anti-communist.
	Well, I think he just considered himself anti-anything, not Hitler.
	Well, I mean, there's truth to that, but he had a coherence ideology.
	That's true.
	And if you read his book, I mean, it's pretty clear what that coherence ideology was, and it's much more similar to modern international leftism than it is to anything traditionally conservative.
	It's always fascinating.
	I entirely agree with you, but then it gets really hard to make that argument, and then they go, well, actually, and they point to Trump making it about...
	The thing is to me that I don't understand about the alternative right, and correct me if you think I'm wrong here, I've always been under this impression that...
	Again, School of Breitbart, Malkin, people like Nick Searcy, you know, people who adopted children.
	I got so much guff for saying I would adopt a black child today.
	Like, so much crap that you wouldn't believe.
	Why is that controversial?
	I'm confused.
	Well, because I'm a cuck-servative.
	I was ultimately the impression that it wasn't about race.
	It was about America being a set of ideals.
	Because unlike a lot of these European nations, we are not really a race of people.
	We are a melting pot of people from all different kinds of walks of life.
	I know most of those were generally white.
	But as long as you learn the language, as long as you subscribe to the American ideals, that's what we were trying to conserve.
	Conservatism.
	Conserve the ideas of America.
	Not whiteness.
	And it seems that maybe you just have a generation of people who are a little bit younger who don't really grasp that.
	Do you think that's a component here?
	I think that there are a lot of people who are ignorant of history.
	I think there are a lot of people who are ignorant of philosophy and constitutionalism, and I think there are a lot of people who are lacking in values.
	I also think that we've reached the point in American life where we're reverting to a pathetic tribalism, and it's true across the board.
	You see people who are just identifying by tribe as opposed to by ideas, and that's really sick.
	I mean, I think that's true for a lot of black folks.
	I think it's true for a lot of white folks.
	It's always been bizarre to me.
	I'm a Jew, but I don't think of ethnic Jews as anything special.
	When people make a big deal out of the fact that Sandy Koufax was a Jew, this has no bearing for me because he doesn't subscribe to my ideology as far as I know.
	Certainly Noam Chomsky doesn't, and if Noam Chomsky were drowning in a river somewhere and somebody who was not Jewish who agreed with me was drowning in that same river, I would save the person who agreed with me.
	I wouldn't save Noam Chomsky.
	I don't care whether he's ethnically Jewish.
	That's a stupid question.
	You just said you would let Noam Chomsky drown in a river.
	Yeah, I would.
	I mean, if I, listen, I wouldn't let Noam Chomsky drown in a river if he were the only alternative, but if there were two people, I could save one.
	You have to go to a break.
	What if it was a puppy and Noam Chomsky?
	Normally, I always save the human being, but in case of Noam Chomsky, I save the puppy.
	That's fair.
	All right, we have to go to a break, and we want to bring you back.
	Ben Shapiro, DailyWire.com.
	Thank you, brother.
	Stay tuned for more Louder with Crowder.
	What are you signaling to me?
	Have I missed the break here with this live stream?
	Is that what's happening, Jared?
	Did you not do your math properly?
	Are we still on live?
	We're still on live.
	We're still on live?
	Am I supposed to hear the music come in?
	Am I going to hear the music come in eventually here?
	You do realize that you are fired.
	And not in the sticky sense, in the real sense.
	Ladder with Crowder will be back.
	Ladder with Crowder.
	Ladder with Crowder.
	I'm Perry Mofferson.
	In the wake of his triumphant victory in Iowa, Ted Cruz's party is not long-lived as his main rival for the GOP nominee, Donald Trump, accuses him of foul play.
	We have a feed from Mr.
	Trump's press conference as we split.
	Frankly, Cruz didn't win anything.
	Okay, listen, do you know what he did?
	Do you know what Cruz did?
	He went to caucus, and he told them.
	He told them that caution was dropping out.
	He told them I supported Obamacare.
	He told them so many things about how would I support him.
	He said I supported Obamacare.
	He went out there, and I don't know if you know this, frankly.
	Okay, I'm getting reports.
	Then it's a pre-6-10-1, okay?
	Anytime you put a button, and you hit the button.
	And then you come back to the place where, okay, but we'll get together for elections.
	I mean, come on, Hillary Clinton's going to be up for election?
	And you kind of go back to that ideologically pure place, and then you realize everybody's still an evil prick.
	An earthquake warning is in effect.
	If it is mild, find a doorway.
	If it's a stage four or higher, find an open area.
	If it's a stage six, you're f- Whoa, Jared, what are you doing?
	Shoot bad guys!
	With what?
	AR-15!
	Where'd you get it?
	AR-15.com!
	Oh, there's another one!
	Kaboom!
	You got him!
	Yeah!
	Thank God for AR-15.com!
	They have AR-15 and accessories for sale and the best advice there is on the web!
	Oh no, there's another one!
	Kaboom!
	You got him!
	Yeah!
	With your what?
	AR-15!
	From where?
	AR-15.com!
	That's the best place to go, and that's the takeaway, because this commercial's about to stop.
	And we are glad to be back again.
	I am getting multiple tweets to fire Not Gay Jared.
	Fire Not Gay Jared.
	This is a disaster.
	Your live stream is going off the rails.
	Not Gay Jared is fired.
	We can hear Ben Shapiro over your Perry Matheson, over Donald Trump.
	So the people have spoken.
	We might have to put up a poll here and see if we want Not Gay Jared to be fired.
	Ben Shapiro, I'm so sorry that you've been dragged into this.
	Oh, no, no worries.
	I mean, as long as people heard me cursing a blue streak, they know I'm cool and down with the phone.
	Well, you weren't cursing a blue streak, but you were actually baring your soul.
	For those listening terrestrially, on the commercial break, sometimes you can hear things that you can't hear terrestrially.
	And Ben was talking about this.
	Listen, Ben and I both were pretty young when we got started.
	I mean, I was the youngest contributor ever to Fox when I was 21.
	Am I allowed to say that Ben helped me with my contract with every single entity at that point?
	Yeah.
	Like you said...
	Yeah, and I was a syndicated columnist when I was 17, and I know that both of us...
	There you go.
	You have to one-up me.
	You have to one-up me.
	Of course, dude.
	Come on.
	But for both of us, this is what I was saying.
	For people who are trying to hear what I was saying over the terrible commercial during the break, what I was actually saying was that you start off in this movement when you start off young.
	As an ideologue, somebody who really is a true believer.
	And then you realize that most of the people in the movement are actually awful.
	And then you sort of become cynical and you realize so many people are just nasty and in it to make a buck.
	And then you think, okay, well, at election time, at least, we'll sort of get our act together and we'll come back to, okay, we got to beat Hillary Clinton.
	We got to find the most conservative person who can win.
	We're on the same page.
	And then you just are disillusioned all over again.
	And it is massively depressing.
	And it's happening candidate by candidate and group by group.
	And every time I think I hate the establishment more, I realize that I hate the media more.
	And then I realize that the grassroots are screwing everyone.
	And it's terrible.
	And I always considered myself an anti-establishment, pro-grassroots guy.
	And I still do.
	But I really feel like this whole thing has just turned into a massive clown show.
	And it's depressing.
	I know some people are listening right now, hearing Ben Shapiro, and they're thinking to themselves.
	Everything that guy just says is bullshit.
	So, not going to make a lot of friends with that.
	I agree with you, though.
	I remember talking with Andrew Breitbart when he was filling in for, I think, Dennis Miller.
	Remember when Rubio beat Crist?
	What a big deal that was.
	That was a big anti-establishment victory.
	And then people can actually go and look at footage from years ago where I was talking to people.
	You know, whenever I would do stand-up comedy, they'd always open to this Q&A. And I mean, I've been doing stand-up since – well, I've been doing stand-up since I was 18.
	But now in the conservative side, people ask these Q&As and they would go, who's the next person?
	And I remember for years, right, it was Bobby Jindal.
	Well, not for years, for months.
	And then it was Marco Rubio.
	And then it was Ted Cruz.
	And I would always tell them, listen, it's not the guy.
	There is no the guy.
	The guy will always change.
	And I remember actually about this would have been a year and three months ago when I was talking to an audience in Flint, Michigan.
	Don't drink the tap water, by the way.
	And I said, listen, last year you would have said Marco Rubio was the guy.
	And everyone goes, no, boo, Ted Cruz, Ted Cruz.
	This is a room of about 700 people who came out to watch this show in St.
	Clair Shores.
	And I wonder how many of them right now would say Ted Cruz is the guy.
	I wonder how many of them would even admit to having said Ted Cruz is the guy.
	It does come down to a messiah complex, and I do find it somewhat ironic that the same people who claim that someone like me, who is a cuck-servative, or you, who actually just speak on issues, whether it's popular or not.
	I sign my own checks.
	You're an entrepreneur.
	I know you work for some other companies.
	At the same time, they call us weak cuck-servatives, but then get mad when we speak out against someone who might be more popular.
	It's an irony that I think is lost on them.
	I think that's true.
	And it's annoying because, again, I've defended Trump when I thought that Trump was right, or at least when I thought he was being unfairly maligned.
	And I've really, I think, done my best to do this.
	But, you know, I don't want this to turn into a sob session.
	I think that it's more important to say, okay, where can we go from here?
	And I think that, and I'll be frank with you, I am the most pessimistic person on the right side of the aisle.
	I am deeply pessimistic.
	I think that we're going to lose the election.
	I think that it doesn't matter who we nominate.
	I come with terrible tidings.
	Take the yarmulke off and see if you become more positive.
	Hold on one second.
	Is everything bright now?
	Whoa!
	Whoa!
	I'm seeing things in a whole new light!
	This is manna, people!
	Why are we bitching?
	Whoa, what's...
	Wait, like, there's light in this room and I'm feeling sort of sick.
	Oh, no, no, things suck again.
	I don't know what happened there for a second.
	You're a self-loathing Jew, Ben!
	Is it the whole thing?
	Whatever.
	Here's the problem.
	If you want to build a movement, build a movement.
	If you want to pretend to build a movement, do what you're doing right now.
	Because the right keeps...
	They've always been like this.
	We run election to election.
	We just worry about what's right in front of us.
	And then we lose.
	And then we say, oh, well, it's just that makes it more urgent that we win the next election.
	So we have to get the most electable guy.
	We have to find the guy who's most electable.
	And that guy will save us.
	He'll ride in like Reagan on a white horse.
	And it never happens that way.
	Reagan rode in on a white horse, and it still didn't save the country for long.
	I mean, he delayed sort of the inevitable slide.
	And the fact is that if you want to build a movement, then you need to start...
	If we have to...
	Again, my pessimistic view.
	If we're going to lose this time, and I don't know that we are, but let's say that we are.
	Hold on a second.
	This is a very negative segment.
	What is your problem, you insensitive a**hole?
	Lighten it up.
	Give us something to go on here, Ben.
	They're looking to you with the higher IQ to give them hope.
	The problem is, the reason that I have the higher IQ than everybody who's watching is because I don't give you hope.
	The prophets get stoned in the temple.
	That's how this works.
	The bottom line here is that you do need to start from the premise that a movement needs to be built, and that movement needs to be built on ideas, not on temporary coalitions of power, because the left builds movements on ideas.
	There's a reason that Bernie Sanders...
	It's competing with Hillary Clinton for who can be more socialist, and then they get in power and they push their agenda.
	I really think the difference between the left and the right is this easy.
	In 1972, George McGovern gets destroyed by Richard Nixon.
	The left sees that as a pivotal moment and moves to the left.
	The right looks at 64, and we got Reagan out of 1964 and Barry Goldwater's loss, and we still say, oh boy, we can't have 1964 all over again.
	That would just be horrible.
	No, it's about the movement that you build, not about the singular election in which you engage.
	Alright, well let's go to something fun.
	You think Hillary Clinton killed a guy?
	I'm not sure.
	I don't think Hillary Clinton killed the guy.
	I think that if she had the strength in her arthritic fingers to do it, she probably would.
	But I don't think that she killed the guy.
	I talk about that a lot.
	People go, who?
	Like they've never heard of Vince Foster.
	Yeah, I don't think she killed Vince Foster.
	If she were going to kill somebody, it would be one of Bill's rape victims.
	Well, I think you might be next on that list.
	All right, Ben Shapiro, we've got to get going pretty soon.
	Where's the best place for people to find you?
	Go to dailywire.com and check everything out.
	All right.
	And Ben, we will have you back when this is not a disaster and Nakey Jared will be fine.
	Okay, so I'll be back in a couple of years.
	Yeah, exactly.
	All right.
	Ben Shapiro, thank you very much, good sir.
	Coming up after this break, that means we're going to have Milo Yiannopoulos.
	And we'll see how that one goes.
	My guess is it could get a little rowdy.
	Could get pretty rowdy, right, Nakey Jared?
	I'm busy looking for other jobs.
	Yeah, I know.
	I don't know how long we have until a break now.
	So, Mylonopolis when we come back.
	Stay tuned.
	Stay tuned.
	Oh, hey, Lyle.
	Didn't see you there.
	What are you doing?
	Hey, I'm just relaxing and enjoying my 1978 Baldo, a fine beverage after a fine game of racquetball at the Wimbledon.
	There's no more quality establishment than the Wimbledon, you know.
	That sounds fun.
	I don't really know a whole lot about wine.
	That's why I go to simplifiedwine.com, or I just call their number.
	What's that number, Jared?
	844-297-WINE. Oh, where'd he come from?
	His voice aggravates me.
	I have him chained to a caravan.
	For simpletons like me who don't know a whole lot about wine, just what I like, it makes it easy.
	I either get to call, go to the website, talk with a sommelier, list what I like, what I don't like, my budget, and can have it shipped directly to my door, or gift-wrapped and sent to a friend.
	It doesn't get any simpler than that.
	Simplified wine, you say?
	I prefer more of a barrier to entry.
	I know you do, Lyle, but you're an elitist bastard.
	That's why for simpletons like me, I prefer simplifiedwine.com or just calling 844-297-WINE.
	You've found yourself at the junction where worlds meet.
	Politics.
	Civility?
	How about honesty in this country, folks?
	Entertainment.
	I don't like entertainment.
	And a whole bunch of other stuff.
	It's about having a healthy body image.
	You have a very unhealthy body.
	You should have a horrible body image.
	Not a big home improvement market, Detroit.
	We are definitely going to get letters.
	You're listening to Talk Radio's Strangest Animal.
	You're a strange animal.
	That's what I know.
	You're getting louder with Crowder.
	But you're a strange animal.
	I got to follow.
	Oh, I'm in the speedy test.
	We'll be right back.
	Oh, you know what that means.
	That sound means that we are in the second hour.
	Glad, thank you.
	Tweets all over the place that Nakia Jared should be fired.
	The good news is there are thousands of people listening online right now.
	It's the live stream.
	One of them is no doubt hiring.
	Excited to bring on our next guest, was supposed to be on last week, violently ill, Milo Yiannopoulos.
	Thanks for being on, sir.
	Thank you, Angel.
	How are you?
	Oh my gosh, I didn't reveal until...
	Look at you.
	Look at the new pump.
	You're going rockabilly.
	Oh, you like it?
	Well, I do.
	I think you're kind of stealing my style.
	You think I'm stealing my style?
	I've never had another haircut.
	I hate that it's now trendy.
	Is this your haircut?
	Is this what you have?
	Pretty much, except I just don't overdo it.
	If I were trolling the bars, I would do it like yours.
	The problem is now when I go in, I say, listen, give me this.
	And they go, oh, and they try and cut it like yours because that's the trend.
	I'm like, no, no, I don't want it as exaggerated.
	Yours isn't exaggerated.
	You go big.
	You know, I just wake up like this.
	I mean, other people tell me stories about hours spent in the salon.
	I just wake up and I look like this.
	Well, you were coughing up a lung from some seafood poisoning, from what you told me, so hopefully you're feeling better.
	I had, well, I went for a very beautiful meal, which was a lovely tasting menu, yadda yadda, but I think the oysters were maybe a bit bad, so I was supposed to be doing a pre-record with you, and I was kind of like spontaneously having stomach convulsions on the side of the motorway, so I'm sorry we didn't get to do that, but hey, you got me live even better.
	We'll talk about that afterward.
	So, rough week for you, Milo.
	It was a rough week.
	I saw your tweets when Trump lost the caucus.
	You were not thrilled.
	Oh, daddy.
	No, no, no, no.
	Daddy's fine.
	Daddy's fine.
	Listen, nobody cares about Iowa.
	Nobody gives a shit about it.
	They haven't picked a nominee since 2000.
	This goes out to FCC stations, so let's keep the language to...
	Oh, I'm sorry.
	I know what you guys do in your seedy little gay bars with your bug chasers.
	Deplorable and disgusting homosexuals.
	It is deplorable.
	Hey, can you for once...
	Do you think I'm a cuck-servative, Milo?
	Yes, but I am too, so it's okay.
	Really?
	You are too?
	Yeah, no, no.
	I mean, some of the people who use that word like me, but I still am one.
	I did a test.
	There's like a seven-question, like a questionnaire, and I think, like, strong support for Israel, like, immediately puts you in the coxervative box, so I'm busy as well.
	And I think being a fag doesn't help.
	It doesn't help.
	What else?
	There's some other thing that I believe in that they don't like.
	Oh, like...
	I suppose I would be probably kind of neocon on foreign policy because I'm quite hawkish.
	You get a pass because you're flamboyantly gay.
	Yes, but I think the alt-right, who I have many sympathies with, by the way, I like in many ways, I think they tend to be fairly anti-war, anti-expansionism.
	Except they love Hitler.
	Well, I think that most of, I know, I think that the press has completely got that wrong.
	No, no, I'm talking about my timeline right now is literally nothing but pro-Hitler comments from the alt-right.
	Yeah, but they do it because it gets to you.
	Oh, no, it doesn't get to me at all.
	They do it because they support Hitler.
	It's got to you because you're bringing it up.
	Look, these people are professional trolls on the internet.
	Why do they send Jonah Goldberg of National Report?
	No, I've never coached them.
	Why do they send Jonah Goldberg of National Review horrible things about Jews?
	Because he never shuts up about it when they do.
	People don't troll because it doesn't work.
	People troll because they get under people's skin and they fly off the handle.
	You've got to remember, a lot of these are 17-year-old kids, for God's sake.
	And they don't have any living relatives through the Second World War.
	So you would, of course, say there's nothing wrong with me saying I would adopt a black child.
	Why would there be anything wrong with that?
	Oh, there you go.
	Oh, you're a cuck.
	How dare you?
	I want chocolate babies, too.
	I just think they're funny.
	And also, I think I have a better chance of not having to pay for college because I get a scholarship.
	I've been trying to get pregnant with my black people.
	Stop it!
	Stop it!
	These are good people watching right now, Milo.
	It's like a weird episode of that Arnold Schwarzenegger movie with him and the fat guy.
	Oh, twins?
	That's what he looks like!
	Milo Yiannopoulos is dressed like the twins cover.
	They had those Hawaiian shirts.
	I don't think I was born then, or I wasn't old enough to see that, I don't know.
	What are you talking about?
	You're older than me.
	Stop it.
	I'm not older than you.
	Just a little known fact for people out there.
	Anytime I book Milo Yiannopoulos for this show, even if he's available, he's going to tell you that he's not available.
	And flip it on you.
	Why are you saying that?
	Absolutely true.
	Literally, if I could bring up the email thread.
	Okay, this time tomorrow?
	And he sends his assistant in.
	I'm having dinner at this time.
	You know this, love.
	No, no, no, because you asked for me at a time when I was supposed to be having supper, and, like, I have, like, two evenings to myself a week these days, right?
	I try to, like, I try to keep, I don't have, I can't, like, I can't claw Sunday back, so instead I have, like, two evenings a week of me time.
	Do you call it supper or dinner?
	Well, because I was schooled properly, I call it supper.
	You also don't pronounce your R's, you smug prick.
	What do you think I should be saying?
	No, I just wonder, because supper in French, soupé, it comes from French.
	So it's just, Diné is a whole, and they bastardize Diné, so I don't know.
	It's cool, probably, just because I speak three languages.
	I love it when Americans pretend to understand European languages.
	Well, I was raised in Canada.
	I spoke color with a U, so I'm a half-breed.
	Oh, awful.
	Awful.
	Awful.
	This is why I'd never come on your show, because I don't like appearing in public with Canadians.
	This is true.
	Listen, no one is proud of it, okay?
	No one's proud of being Canadian, especially now with Trudeau.
	Oh my gosh.
	So, okay.
	I didn't want to interrupt.
	So where are you feeling this week?
	You said you feel fine?
	Because I know you've talked about Trump, but you even said on the Rogan podcast, you're not really hoping he wins.
	You like the show.
	Well, I'm on the fence about that now, because I'm starting to get really into...
	I mean, the more I find out about the American Republican establishment and the American political establishment generally, the more I realize it's just like ours in London, and the more I want to see it hurt.
	But they endorse Trump.
	The more I want to see it suffer.
	No, I mean, they're coming round to the idea that they might have to pretend to tolerate him because they think he's controllable and they don't think Cruise is.
	Truthfully, though, wouldn't we admit that's kind of a testament to the fact that Cruise has pissed so many people off because he does his own thing, whether you like it or not?
	Yeah, yeah, and he should wear that as a badge of pride.
	I certainly would.
	Yeah, for sure.
	He's like the straight version of you.
	No, no, no, no.
	Because he's...
	No, there's something slightly amphibian about Ted Cruz.
	Like, if you touched his hands, they'd be sort of clammy and cold.
	He's kind of like Mr.
	Rogers with a Dracula's Widow peek.
	I can't warm to him, and I don't know why.
	I think he may just be like one of those people that you can't empathize with.
	He's just like a brick wall emotionally, and I just can't get inspired by him.
	He's not like Daddy, is he?
	He's no Daddy.
	No, it's insight from a sociopathic narcissist, so that's a good analyst.
	Well, you know, poachers make the best gamekeepers, so I'm just letting you know I see him as a sort of fellow sociopath.
	How do you see this playing out in Britain, right, as someone who comes in from Europe?
	Europe's fallen.
	We know that.
	You know that.
	Are they too close to the forest to see the trees, or do they see this and go, you know what, Trump might be right about some things?
	Brits don't like Trump because they don't like the brashness of his particular style of American conspicuous consumption and unapologetic brashness.
	Europeans, and particularly Brits, don't like that at all.
	So they sort of instinctively know they don't like him, and then they search for reasons...
	Search for reasons they can say they don't like him that are a bit more publicly acceptable than I don't like brash people, which is the truth.
	So they'll say, for example, he's an Islamophobe or he's a racist or whatever.
	We have this grotesque, terrible spectacle of our MPs in Parliament wasting taxpayer money.
	And that's where people like me, who have defended Trump on those issues, that, you know, what was it, duck, frump, whatever, that fake social justice warrior thing.
	He has the right enemies most of the time.
	He does, and this is why I wish you guys would get on board the train a bit more often, or at least just acknowledge this more often, because I know you hate him as a serious candidate, but I judge people by their enemies, and there is nobody, with the possible exception of me, that annoys the progressive left as much as the dear, sweet daddy.
	Well, I've been doing it back since 2009, when Trump was a Democrat, and I think, I don't know what you were doing, but I've pissed them off for a long time.
	Trump's a Democrat.
	Well, he was against anti-Islamic speech about half a year ago.
	Okay, whatever.
	I don't think if his particular policy positions are why people vote for him anyway.
	So if you're trying to interrogate him on the basis of ideological consistency...
	No, I think you're right.
	I think you're right.
	If people like him, it has nothing to do with...
	You don't understand him and you don't understand his voters if you're trying to interrogate him according to policy positions.
	No, not policy positions.
	I'm just talking about the free speech position.
	You know, it's a Pam Geller thing.
	I think it would be great if we point back to that.
	I get the feeling that he's not as robust on free speech as I would like, but I believe that he can be educated on that.
	I have had some, you know, on what little he said, for example, about technology and video games, which is an area that, the two areas that I'm into, his positions aren't perfect there, but that's only because I think they haven't really been fleshed out and gone through yet.
	I think on free speech, he's sort of wavered slightly, and as you know, I'm a...
	Yes, well, that's all I want to go before we go to the break.
	In England, Europe, is free speech making a comeback, do you think, or is it gone forever?
	No, it never will.
	Really?
	There's a chance in America, because you have the First and, thank God, the Second Amendment, that basically protects your rights and your freedoms, that we don't have anything comparable in Europe.
	We don't have anything similar, and we don't have any...
	Nobody in the public square is sticking up for freedom of speech and nobody serious is sticking up for sort of free intellectual inquiry and honest open discussion.
	You do see it in America and you see a lot everywhere in America, even if the current establishment run by progressives in academia, media, publishing and news is is in the opposite direction.
	There is at least a huge body of people in public life who are saying, whoa!
	I know you're busy, and we do have to go to a break because this is syndicate.
	So where's the best place for people to find you, Milo?
	Oh, you can find me on Twitter at twitter.com slash Nero for as long as I'm still allowed to have it.
	And he will be in Michigan performing soon, and we'll be working on some videos.
	Milo, thank you so much for being here.
	We will have you back again soon.
	Ladder with Crowder.
	Stay tuned.
	An earthquake warning is in effect.
	If it is mild, find a doorway.
	If it's a stage four or higher, find an open area.
	If it's a stage six, you're f***ed.
	If it's a stage six, you're f***ed.
	You're giving me the God echo.
	What is that?
	What is that?
	It's the coolest thing ever.
	And actually, I don't even know if they can hear it.
	It might just be special for us.
	For us?
	I don't know.
	People tweet me at escrowder.
	Are you hearing the God echo?
	Because I'm hearing that in my own headphones.
	Now it's gone.
	Take it off.
	I don't want it on.
	I don't want it on.
	You hear enough God in your own brain.
	You really need to get your act together.
	I do need to get your act together.
	Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, sir.
	I gotta figure that out.
	I don't know how we planned all day, all day to do this.
	Are you mental?
	I don't know.
	Speaking of which, I want to talk about this other story.
	By the way, Democrat debate happening.
	Who cares?
	I love how they just put these things when no one's going to watch them.
	It doesn't even trend on Twitter, the Dem debate.
	I didn't know it was going on at all.
	In fact, it just kind of pops up and it's just kind of like, oh, rumors.
	They ran the one opposite at home and Ronda Rousey, and then they ran the other one, was it like on a Sunday night?
	I think the next one is on Super Bowl Sunday, and I think they're running it on Fox Sports 4.
	Okay, so you may not have heard of this story.
	By the way, in the bottom of the hour, we're going to have the Iowa caucus coin toss czar.
	Jared is screwing with something.
	So get off of politics a little bit.
	A little bit of a surprise here.
	I have this up on my screen.
	We wrote about this at ladderwithcredder.com.
	Girl Scouts are allowing cross-dressing boys to join.
	That's fantastic.
	America!
	Go America!
	So next time you buy some Girl Scout cookies, some Thin Mints, some Samoas, Might be a penis lurking around that corner.
	Could be the Mickey Rourke Diner with the popcorn bucket on the first date, only with a box of Samoas.
	So do not reach to that bottom horizontal row of Samoas, because it's not quite the Cracker Jack surprise you're used to.
	Let me read this story for you.
	I like to sell cookies because it's very nice to sell cookies, she told BuzzFeed News.
	She is a he.
	She is a he.
	But when Stormy, who is transgender, started knocking on neighbors' doors near her home in Heron, Illinois, one man turned her away, saying, nobody wants to buy cookies from a boy in a dress.
	What is your problem, you insensitive asshole?
	I know, okay, this is a story from BuzzFeed.
	I love that this guy said this to a child.
	Some boy came up who was clearly a boy trying to sell him some Samoas, and he just said, no, this is not going to happen.
	That dog won't hunt.
	I'm not buying Girl Scout cookies from a boy in a dress.
	So what happens?
	It goes to the Washington Post, it goes to BuzzFeed, an LGBTQ support group from Idaho sent out for a call for support.
	While out selling cookies, Stormy was met with negativity, no orders, and even one less-than-kind person.
	As a parent, this made me angry.
	As a parent of transgender children, this made me livid.
	Hold on a second.
	This is what I find very bizarre.
	Transgender children?
	Plural?
	Listen, ma'am.
	Your kids?
	Are you crazy?
	Those guys are retards!
	Okay, they're not normal.
	This is not normal to have several transgender children.
	People do not realize how incredibly rare that is.
	That is unbelievably rare.
	That's like everyone in Rent having AIDS in the film.
	They're like, it's society's fault.
	No, something's going on that's a little bit bizarre here.
	I have an image here up on my screen of the boy in a dress.
	Listen, that's a boy in a dress.
	Milo's prettier.
	And if people think this sounds absurd, here's the thing with the alt-right or whoever it is, leftists who are anti-authoritarians but they still believe in high taxes or the Bernie Sanders.
	This is the next logical step.
	You can say now it's not the case.
	We talked about, what's her name, the Norwegian girl who wanted to be a cat, Stephanie, the 52-year-old man who claims he's a 6-year-old girl.
	You said that people were absolutely absurd when they talked about the unprecedented same-sex marriage, basically declaring that men and women were fundamentally interchangeable.
	You said, no, there's no slippery slope.
	That's just fear-mongering, conservatives are ignorant.
	Well, here you go.
	This is the next logical step.
	And something that people don't think about, and Courtney Scoffs, follow her at Courtney Scoffs, who's brilliant, who writes for me.
	We're talking about this boy in a dress, right?
	What about the girls in the Girl Scouts?
	What are Girl Scouts?
	Do they go on camping trips?
	I don't know.
	My sister's in the Girl Scouts.
	I know nothing except for I'm expecting a large package of cookies.
	Soon.
	My father-in-law got kicked out of the Boy Scouts because he only joined for the knife.
	And the second he got a knife, he threw it at a kid.
	They kicked him out.
	I, in Canada, this is true, we had beavers.
	That'll happen.
	That'll happen.
	We had beavers.
	Do you have that in the States, beavers?
	I have no idea what you're talking about.
	It was before Boy Scouts.
	And it was before Boy Scouts.
	It was like the next level.
	You were Beavers, then you were Cub Scouts, then Boy Scouts.
	And there was this...
	You want to talk about authoritarianism.
	There was this woman on a power trip.
	This is a true story.
	My dad or my mom can tell you.
	True.
	100%.
	I was two weeks past the join period.
	My brother was older, and so he had joined Beavers.
	And I thought, well, I didn't even know about it.
	That sounds cool.
	Jordan's in there.
	I want to be in there.
	It sounds fun.
	And so I told my parents I wanted to join.
	They said, okay, Stephen wants to join Beavers.
	And so they went and they said, well, he can't.
	It's past the sign-up period.
	And my mom, you know, French Canadian, well, that's ridiculous.
	And the kid, it's too weak.
	He wants to go join the beaver, okay?
	You're going to, you know, put his name in the hat and they do the scary Halloween with the, put your hand in the spaghetti, tell them it's brain, you know?
	And that's fun.
	That's what they do.
	Remember that spaghetti haunted house?
	You put your hands together like...
	Oh, my parents were livid one time.
	Brains and the grapes.
	Because my parents, you know, grew up like, you know, Christian conservative and they came home like...
	They didn't tell us that they were going to do that.
	You put your hands in grapes.
	They didn't inform us.
	What's next?
	A Harry Potter book?
	Oh, goodness.
	So, yeah.
	And this woman said, no, he can't join us.
	Pass the date.
	And then my dad finally went to the board for Beavers.
	This is absurd.
	And I swear to you, this lady stood up to the board and said, Stephen will join Beavers over my dead body.
	And you think I'm like Larry David?
	My dad argued and argued and argued until he won.
	And I was in Beavers.
	I've met him just enough that I can absolutely picture that.
	He just argued.
	And I think he got that lady fired.
	I remember we went on camping trips.
	I don't know if Girl Scouts do.
	Same thing, the Olympics are going to allow transgender people to compete in the Olympics.
	I get that the guys want to...
	You don't even have to get the sex change.
	I get guys want to put on a dress, but what about the women who will be absolutely massacred in contact sports?
	Or the women when they're out in their sleepovers and their slumber parties.
	Think about a pillow fight with the Girl Scouts, only you're putting a boy in there?
	It's going to be loaded up with steel-toed boots, knocking the hell out of those broads.
	Ladder with Crowder, we'll be back to talk about something less weird.
	Maybe.
	Maybe. Maybe.
	Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. " Welcome to Coo News.
	News with a Super Coo Approach.
	I am your host, Phil Coo.
	This week, Dr.
	Ben Carson came under fire with...
	Oh, damn, man.
	Hey, P. Ray, this coffee's awful, man.
	Is that...
	That damn Maxwell house?
	Yeah.
	You know I don't want no damn Maxwell house here in the green room.
	I can't drink.
	That's awful.
	Yeah.
	You gonna get me some different coffee, man?
	No.
	P. Ray, come on.
	Damn, that is...
	You spitting this, too?
	Yeah.
	Hey, B-Roy!
	Whoa, Jared, what are you doing?
	Shoot bad guys.
	With what?
	AR-15.
	Where'd you get it?
	AR-15.com.
	Oh, there's another one.
	You got him.
	Thank God for AR-15.com.
	They have AR-15 and accessories for sale and the best advice there is on the web.
	Oh no, there's another one.
	You got him.
	With your what?
	AR-15.
	From where?
	AR-15.com.
	That's the best place to go, and that's the takeaway, because this commercial's about to stop!
	I'ma do the things that I wanna do I ain't got a thing to prove to you I ain't gonna wear the clothes that you like I don't give a hoot about what you think Everyone likes to dance to a happy song All right, we're back.
	That's enough of the dancing.
	Wildly unprofessional stream for the first time, but it is going well.
	Thank you so much to our home stations, WAM in Ann Arbor, Patriot Voice, Northern Michigan, all over Florida, New Hampshire.
	That's pretty big coming up.
	By the way, the Dem debates...
	Speaking of New Hampshire.
	Speaking of New Hampshire, the Dem debates are going on.
	Apparently, Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders are just losing their crap over each other.
	That's fantastic.
	Whenever I hear Bernie Sanders lose his mind, I think of that guy who got really mad outside of the Met.
	Do you remember?
	You are everything that's gone wrong in this world!
	You are self-consumed, no talent, mediocre piece of shit!
	If any of you haven't seen this, there's this guy who looks like...
	He looks like a midget version of Andre the Giant.
	And the guy is playing the trumpet.
	It's so funny to watch.
	He's like...
	It's so funny.
	And this guy just freaks out.
	You miserable presumptuous, no talent!
	Stop!
	He just absolutely loses his mind.
	And it's nothing offensive.
	He just thinks the guy's a mediocre musician.
	Not even like he's bad.
	And he's not that bad.
	I mean, he's not like...
	He's not great, but he's not like...
	Not like terrible.
	Even like high school band.
	Yeah, not like when you hear somebody first pick up a violin and you're like, Ugh, it sounds like a cat dying.
	You know, a cat's dying.
	This wasn't that bad, but he was just so offended.
	I knew the Grateful Dead from 1966!
	Who the f*** are you?!
	But apparently Bernie and Hillary are losing their minds.
	I can't really comment on it because we're running this program, and of course it's always hard to do research.
	People might be listening to this syndicated on the weekend.
	You might not be hearing it live, but for people hearing it live, they can update us on the Twitter at S. Crowder.
	Here's something I wanted to talk about.
	Speaking of Bernie Sanders, when people talk about the 1%, and we've talked about this sort of economic authoritarianism, right?
	They talk about public company CEOs.
	That's what's thrown around a lot.
	Oh my gosh, the salaries, they're increasing when wages are stagnant.
	When we're talking about the 1% or even the 0.1%, The vast majority are not public company CEOs who are screwing people through corporate boards.
	When you're talking about 1%, you're talking about household income annually of $400,000, right?
	That's the 1%.
	The overwhelming majority are entrepreneurs, they're business owners who've created a better product or a better service.
	They're not some kind of a CEO who you want to hate, except for Apple.
	Apple notwithstanding.
	We never talk about the Apple.
	And believe me, I understand that big bank CEOs are terrible.
	I don't believe in too big to fail.
	The West Indies Trading Company employed a fifth of population earth.
	They went bankrupt.
	I've talked about that with Mark Madsen.
	I think we talked about that with Sargon of a cat.
	But the vast majority are business owners and entrepreneurs who, despite all of the alternatives available to you, the consumer, have convinced you to give them your money in exchange for their product.
	Through competition, Most of these people have won your dollar to become a part of the 1%.
	You've made them a part of the 1%.
	And they're not big bank CEOs.
	So when you eliminate the big bank CEOs, let's take away the rhetoric, and they're a tiny, tiny, tiny fraction of the wealthy that you think you hate.
	You're talking about punishing people who provide you with nearly everything you use or enjoy.
	From franchise owners down to, you go to your local Starbucks, you go to your local Bigby.
	Oh God, I threw up!
	Coffee?
	They're not a sponsor.
	Bigby will never be a sponsor.
	Don't get me started.
	Go to a local mom-and-pop coffee shop?
	What about your grocery store?
	What about these microphones that we're using?
	We ordered these from a great store, Sweetwater, in Michigan.
	All of those things.
	What are your headphones?
	Where are they coming from?
	What about your glasses?
	The lenses?
	Did you go to an optometrist?
	All of these people, if they're successful, if they've been around for, I don't have the exact number in front of me, I think it's somewhere between 5 and 10 years.
	If you've gotten these from a business that have been around for more than 5 years, let's call it 10 years, that owner is part of the 1%.
	And those are the people you're vilifying.
	Those are the people the left wants you to hate.
	And they want you to think there's unfair corporate influence in politics.
	That's another thing.
	When people don't understand Citizens United, you should go check out How the World Works.
	Lee Dorn did a great video on it.
	It's not about giant PACs and corporate money.
	We've talked about the giant influence that unions have.
	And nobody wants to talk about that.
	What it was with Citizens United was about a...
	A group of people who made a film that was anti-Hillary.
	I think it was called Hillary the Movie or Clinton the Movie.
	And basically certain people in the government wanted to shut it down.
	And the Supreme Court ruled, you know what?
	Groups of people, corporations, are still entitled to their First Amendment rights.
	Still have the right to express freedom of speech.
	So if you want to do – now there are ways with finance reform, campaign finance reform, there are ways to fix some of the problems there.
	I agree with you.
	But to do it with Citizens United is to basically say that, you know what, because we don't like corporate influences in elections, we want to give that right to the federal government to determine who can and who cannot have a voice.
	And this is something that's so important You know, I get the sense that a lot of conservatives, a lot of people on the right, and I understand it, have seen so many executive actions, have seen so much authoritarianism coming from the left, from Barack Obama, that they're at this point, I mean, you'll read it, they just say, just screw them.
	Just screw them.
	Don't be a cuck-servative.
	Screw them.
	Let's just put in our own guy who's going to do this.
	Let's put in our own guy who's going to do all of his executive orders.
	That is scary to me.
	And the reason it's scary is because having been selectively – I guess you could use not the term prosecuted legally, but having been selectively targeted politically – this has happened in the past, be it financially or not having your day in court.
	A lot of people have had this.
	A lot of people have experienced this.
	Anyone works for a conservative nonprofit under the Obama administration.
	Your reaction should be – Such mortification.
	It is so terrifying that you don't want to see that happen.
	Because whether it's Barack Obama or Donald Trump, all it takes is the guy you don't like coming in next and having that power.
	So if you give, whether it's Donald Trump, I don't really think Ted Cruz would do it.
	I don't know about Rubio.
	I don't think Ben Carson would do it.
	But if you want to give Trump all that authority because you just want to screw Barack Obama, well, guess what?
	What if he's a one-term president?
	And now you've set a precedent.
	And the guy who comes in does all of the crap you don't want to see.
	And you're on the wrong side of that.
	So it is important to realize that at any point, if this has been turned, if selective prosecution of the law, censorship of speech has been used by the government on either side, even if you like the enemies on that list, even if you like the fact that those people are targeted, those are the kinds of people you want to see targeted, even if it's giant, fat, disgusting Tess Holliday, Pudding, oozing from her pores.
	And you're saying, yeah, I like seeing her targeted, but they can target you next.
	That is important, and that is something that I hope everybody realizes, because that pendulum swings both ways.
	Something I think that's really funny, too, we talk about these taxes, and we talk about taxing the wealthy 1%.
	I think a lot of people out there just aren't even aware of basic economics, aren't even aware of, you know, when I talk about this with our audience, we'll talk about supply-side economics.
	And, of course, you know, Paul Krugman has sort of tried to already debunk that, and you talk about why that's inaccurate.
	But you realize a lot of people, I'm sure Nat Gay Jared understands this, in a generation, haven't even gotten that far down to the branch of the debate.
	So if I say, for example, like the Laffer curve, does that mean anything to you?
	It does only because of our previous conversations, though.
	So there are people out there who don't know the Laffer curve, and Paul Krugman debunked it by acknowledging it.
	Now, Paul Krugman is just, at New York Times, is the ultimate straw man builder so he can destroy it, right?
	Some people, they try and say conservatives simplify the Laffer curve.
	Two is from Art Laffer.
	Right about some things, wrong about some things.
	Leftists try and simplify it to, oh well, people just believe that all tax cuts pay for themselves.
	No, here's a Laffer curve, okay?
	Let me kind of give you an idea.
	If you tax people at 0%, government revenue will be 0%, right?
	But if you tax people at 100%, government revenue will be 0%.
	Somewhere between there is an ideal point of taxing.
	If you go past that point, there's a point of diminishing returns.
	Now, depending on who you ask and depending on what the GDP is, depending on the current economic climate in the country, that can vary.
	Somewhere between 30 to, I think, some people will cite 70% as far as highest marginal tax rates.
	Now, here's the point, though, too.
	Then it comes down to a moral issue.
	Let's say you tax people at 30%.
	And you get X amount of government revenue.
	Well, let's say you see a 2.5% increase in government revenue if you increase that tax to 70%.
	Is that worth the moral reprehensibility of taxing people at 70%?
	Great example, too, is Hauser's Law.
	Do you know about that?
	I do not.
	Or Hauser's Law.
	Hauser's or Hauser's.
	I've heard of it, but I've never dug into it.
	I don't know, depending on who you talk to.
	That's another example.
	It doesn't really matter what the tax rates are.
	Government revenue...
	Hovers around 19%.
	And even when you look at tax revenue as high as 90%, although no one actually paid that.
	Don't believe that myth.
	We've talked about that in previous episodes.
	If you're watching this in a live stream, subscribe on iTunes or SoundCloud to take this on the go.
	It's not true.
	People do not pay the 90% tax rate under FDR. It still hovers between 18 and 21 percent.
	No matter what you tax people, that's how there's a lot.
	And there's no escaping it.
	Now, some people might say, well, actually, that's not true, because when we tax people at 70 percent, the revenue actually went up to 19.5 percent as opposed to 18.1.
	There's a point of diminishing returns that people need to understand.
	I hate to get wonky, I hate to get dry on the economics with you, but I think a lot of people, we have a lot of listeners who are younger, don't understand that it is not a linear equation.
	Tax people more, you get this much more revenue.
	No, you tax people more.
	A good example is Bernie Sanders, right?
	Everyone says, well, there won't be any tax raises at all until you're earning $250,000.
	Well, that's not true.
	You have a 2.5% mandatory insurance premium.
	And we've eliminated...
	Let me use this as an example.
	Jared, do you know what happens when you sleep?
	Sorry, about like REM and all that business?
	Or about memory?
	Well, memory.
	When you sleep, a lot of people don't know this.
	What happens is when you go to sleep, this is how you build your memory.
	Your mind sorts through new information learned during that day and compares it...
	These are sound effects.
	We don't have it on the soundboard.
	With information you've had.
	I said, okay, what works?
	Does this jive?
	How does this fit in?
	Let me put that in the memory bank.
	That's why you don't need to understand every issue.
	You don't need to know the ins and outs.
	And that's one thing you'll see a lot with people who try, I guess sort of the pseudo-intellectuals.
	I talk about these people.
	They try and drag you into some deep waters.
	Let's say you have a debate on fracking.
	They go, well, what do you think about Denton County in the 18th District in Zoensil with Farmer Lawton?
	What do you think about that?
	Of course no one's going to know that, right?
	And so they think they win the argument.
	Same thing with economics.
	They'll try and bring up something that happened in, I don't know, some inconsequential country like Barbados with some housing collapse and go, well, you don't know about that, son.
	You consider yourself educated?
	Yeah, I do.
	You don't need to know all those things.
	What are you about Section 5, Article 8?
	Have you been keeping up on that one?
	Have you been keeping up on that one?
	No.
	I had that at a show.
	You were there at my stand-up show.
	I goes, what have you been doing with Article 5?
	He goes, have you been staying on top of it?
	I just looked at him and I said, no.
	Well, you really should.
	I said, thank you.
	Have a nice one.
	Everyone wants to feel important.
	So if they feel like they've got you on something they don't know, and you can feel silly.
	It used to happen to me when I'd be like, I should know all of these things.
	You can't.
	What you need to know are basic fundamentals, just like any sport.
	Fundamental information, right?
	Get that in your brain.
	Read Soul.
	Actually, a great book, John Stossel's Myths, Lies, and Downright Stupidity.
	An atheist, libertarian, so they're as straight down the middle as you can get.
	Read these books.
	Get your basic information, okay?
	So you have that baseline of information.
	And when you learn new information, you can contrast it.
	Same thing, you need to have a worldview.
	When people say, I don't believe in isms.
	It's just silly.
	Everyone does.
	They're lying to themselves.
	Even if it did, your worldview says that it's still wrong to eliminate competition, to put private businesses out of business, and ensure only one option for healthcare, the government option.
	So you know it's wrong.
	You have baseline information to socialize healthcare work, learn about countries like Canada, what's happening in Europe and the collapse in medical research, and then you can piecemeal the new information that comes in.
	That's the best way to handle it.
	Have your baseline information and a worldview, and it makes it easier to process some of this stuff, because a lot of the information out there is flat out untrue, and some of it is a little too complex for some of you to understand.
	Not for me or Ben Shapiro, because, well, listen, we're freaking geniuses.
	Gosh, we'll come back.
	We'll talk more about the Dem debate and, I don't know, trannies.
	Lotta with Crowder.
	Stay tuned.
	Oh, hey, Loudoun. Loudoun.
	Didn't see you there.
	What are you doing?
	Hell, I'm just relaxing and enjoying my 1978 Goldau, a fine beverage after a fine game of racquetball at the Wimbledon.
	There's no more quality establishment than the Wimbledon, you know.
	That sounds fun.
	I don't really know a whole lot about wine.
	That's why I go to simplifiedwine.com, or I just call their number.
	What's that number, Jared?
	844-297-WINE. Oh, where'd he come from?
	His voice aggravates me.
	I have him chained to a caravan.
	For simpletons like me who don't know a whole lot about wine, just what I like, it makes it easy.
	I either get to call, go to the website, talk with a sommelier, list what I like, what I don't like, my budget, and can have it shipped directly to my door, or gift wrapped and sent to a friend.
	It doesn't get any simpler than that.
	Simplified wine, you say?
	I prefer more of a barrier to entry.
	I know you do, Lyle, but you're an elitist bastard.
	That's why for simpletons like me, I prefer simplifiedwine.com or just calling 844-297-WINE. And now time for Gentle Insults with Dr.
	Ben Carson.
	Well, you see, Mr.
	Blitzer, I understand why one can maybe feel that way, but I think if you take my comments in context as a neurosurgeon, you'll see that I was looking at it objectively.
	Just like I believe if someone were to look at your match on Celebrity Jeopardy objectively, it would not be dissimilar to an incident of rape in an alleyway the way that Andy Richter handled you on an intellectual level.
	And I think the sort of demagoguery can go either way, and I don't think it's conducive toward a better dialogue, considering that in the figurative sense, you were sexually assaulted on Celebrity Jeopardy.
	This has been Gentle Insults with Dr.
	Ben Carson.
	Ben Carson.
	All right, glad to bring on our next guest.
	Do we have him on not gay, Jerry?
	I think he's there.
	I think he's there.
	Okay, we have him here.
	Obviously, a lot happened this last week in Iowa, so I'm pretty excited to get this exclusive interview with the Iowa caucus coin toss czar, James.
	Are you with us, James?
	I am, and thanks for having me on your show, Stephen.
	Well, we're glad to have you with us, so this must have been a busy week for you.
	Oh yes, it was very, very busy.
	It was actually my first time working the Iowa caucus, and I might say it was very exciting.
	It was very exciting.
	Would you say it was an overall positive experience?
	I think so.
	I think it was very much a festive atmosphere, and I felt like I got to be part of something great.
	Right.
	You only worked on the Democratic side, right?
	Not the Republican side of the Iowa?
	Okay.
	So you were working on the Democratic side.
	And that, explain for the listeners who might not know, that was a very, very close race, correct?
	Yes.
	Yes.
	As you know, as you've probably heard in the news, is that it was so close between Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders.
	It's a hard name.
	It is a hard name to say.
	But it was so close that it was too close to call.
	Okay, so let me ask you this.
	That's what a lot of people thought.
	As a matter of fact, Bernie was saying on Twitter that he suspected some things were less than kosher, that things were very close.
	So how was it finally determined when a race is so close with the Iowa caucus?
	Well, in a situation like that, you know, the experts, we get together, and we have to look at the race and proceed in a very cautious, Legally binding fashion.
	And we decided to, you know, flip a coin.
	So you flipped a coin.
	That's the legal process that occurs in Iowa.
	Yes.
	That is what we do to determine the winner of the caucus.
	Okay, and coin flipping, this is the legal terminology.
	I guess I won't spend too much time geeking out over that.
	So, Bernie and Hillary was determined by a coin toss.
	But it was determined by quite a few coin tosses, and I'm sure you've read about this.
	It seems that Hillary, you've heard this now, Kate Jarrett.
	I have seen many memes.
	May have won an abnormal percentage of those coin tosses.
	In fact, six.
	Is that not true?
	That is correct, and I see what you're getting at, but let me explain.
	I think once you hear the procedure, you can understand how it could have not been botched in any way.
	The procedure in determining the winner.
	Maybe that's helpful.
	Walk me through it.
	Okay.
	Well, first, with my right hand, I make a fist, and I take my thumb, and I place it between my index and middle finger.
	This is to create enough pressure and leverage to place the coin above my thumb so that I can push it up far enough into the air into a flipping motion, okay?
	I think I see where this is going, but I'll let you finish because I'm hoping it's something different than I'm anticipating.
	And once the coin is into the air, my fist turns into an open-faced palm Underneath the coin in the air to catch the coin.
	Once the coin lands into my palm, which is, you know, a very tricky situation, but it landed in my palm every single time, I will place my open-faced palm onto my closed-faced palm on my left hand, on the back of my hand, to reveal the winner.
	And in this case, it was Tails.
	And we had assigned the tails to Hillary Clinton, and she won the caucus.
	So I was...
	Okay.
	That's it.
	There's nothing beyond that.
	I thought you were going to...
	You said a process.
	That just sounds like a basic coin flip you'd see at a hockey game.
	Well, you see, at a hockey game, it's very different.
	They just flip it into the air, let it land on the ice.
	And the ice is a totally different factor.
	It is not the same.
	Would the ice, some level of friction you think would change the outcome?
	Well, on the ice, it could slide either way.
	You know, it's not as accurate as my procedure.
	Okay.
	What if you get a shaky palm?
	Well, that is why we tend to not hire people with shaky palms.
	But in that case, it would go to a retoss.
	It would go to a retoss.
	Okay.
	And did you have any retosses with this problem?
	Nope.
	We did.
	We decided to go best two out of three, and the first three went to tails to Hillary Clinton, and we knew that there was not a chance in hell that that could happen three times in a row.
	So we decided to go to six, and she won all six.
	Sorry, you're saying she won all six.
	All six were two out of three, so six times three, or you did three and then just continued to the six?
	We just continued to the 6th, and I must say that Lady Luck was shining on Hillary Clinton that night.
	Is that what you would, this is again, is this a technical legal term, Lady Luck?
	Yes, that is a legal term.
	You don't have to, you know, worry about it.
	I know, I don't want to get off into the weeds with something that, you know, our listeners may not be able to understand.
	Can you understand why some people might say that that seems suspicious?
	I understand.
	I understand how people can say that, but like I said, it was a very technical procedure, and the outcome was the outcome.
	Okay.
	Still, there were a lot of memes with...
	Are you sure?
	I mean, what are the chances of it being a prank coin or something like that?
	I mean, you know, there are a lot of conspiracy theorists out there.
	It just seems very unlikely.
	A prank coin?
	I've never heard of such a thing.
	What do you mean, a prank coin?
	Well, it's like a double-sided coin.
	You know, you throw the coin, it's tails no matter what.
	I assure you it was not a prank coin.
	I have it right here in my pocket.
	Let me retrieve it.
	And reveal that it is a...
	not a...
	Oh.
	Oh.
	Uh-oh.
	James, you still there?
	Sales on both sides.
	Yes, I am.
	That sounds like a disaster.
	Are you going to be involved with any other primary states?
	I do not believe so after this.
	All right.
	Louder with Crowder.
	James, thanks.
	We'll have you back.
	People, stay tuned after this break.
	And now it's time for your Dating Advice Minute with Bill Cosby.
	Thank you.
	This week's letter comes to me from Russell.
	From Atlanta, Georgia.
	He says that he has a problem.
	We're getting the little Mr.
	Russell to come out to help the big Mr.
	Russell.
	Now, Russell, there's nothing to be embarrassed about.
	We've all had something like that happen.
	But sometimes, what do you do?
	Sometimes it can be diet.
	Sometimes it can be driven by stress.
	What you gotta do is get your doctor to give you the pills.
	This pill's gonna bring little Russell out to play, but then you need another pill for your wife so you can just live into the coffee and you can...
	This has been Your Dating Advice Minute with Bill Cosby.
	Oh, hey, Lyle.
	Didn't see you there.
	What are you doing?
	Oh, I'm just relaxing and enjoying my 1978 Baldo, a fine beverage, after a fine game of racquetball at the Wimbledon.
	There's no more quality establishment than the Wimbledon, you know.
	That sounds fun.
	I don't really know a whole lot about wine.
	That's why I go to simplifiedwine.com, or I just call their number.
	What's that number, Jared?
	844-297-WINE. Oh, where'd he come from?
	His voice aggravates me.
	I have him chained to a caravan.
	For simpletons like me who don't know a whole lot about wine, just what I like, it makes it easy.
	I either get to call, go to the website, talk with a sommelier, list what I like, what I don't like, my budget, and can have it shipped directly to my door, or gift-wrapped and sent to a friend.
	It doesn't get any simpler than that.
	Simplified wine, you say?
	I prefer more of a barrier to entry.
	I know you do, Lyle, but you're an elitist bastard.
	That's why for simpletons like me, I prefer simplifiedwine.com or just calling 844-297-WINE. You've found yourself at the junction where worlds meet.
	Politics.
	Civility?
	How about honesty in this country, folks?
	Entertainment.
	I don't like entertainment!
	And a whole bunch of other stuff.
	It's about having a healthy body image.
	If you have a very unhealthy body, you should have a horrible body image.
	Not a big home improvement market image, right?
	We are definitely going to get letters.
	You're listening to Talk Radio's Strangest Animal.
	You're a strange animal.
	That's what I know.
	You're getting louder with Crowder.
	But you're a strange animal.
	I've got to follow.
	Oh, I'm in this speedy test.
	We're back.
	Even though I'm back in the third hour.
	Cough button.
	Oh, I forgot this.
	I need to hold the cough button.
	And they can still hear you through my mic, so...
	It's a key detail.
	It is.
	It's key!
	For people watching the live show, of course, producing with me in studio, as always, is Not Gay Jared.
	He is not gay.
	I've legally fulfilled my obligations, but you can draw your own conclusions.
	Not Gay Jared, give him a shot of you there.
	Let him see you.
	For those, uh...
	Come on.
	Come on.
	What you don't know is that that red curtain is covering up Liza Minnelli autographed records.
	I thought we talked about that with the legal agreements.
	Okay.
	Liza Minnelli was part of it?
	You know I can't keep them at home.
	That's true.
	At least you can seal carry.
	You can protect your Liza Minnelli records from everything.
	All right.
	I always forget now, too, that we have the camera going on for our wonderful affiliates doing this terrestrially.
	So, Dem Debates, but we have Obama visiting...
	Those Dem Debates.
	Dem Debates, der.
	Guilty.
	So Obama visited a mosque this week and lectured Americans about hate.
	I have it here up at ladderwithcrader.com.
	We have the whole speech.
	Okay.
	I've been talking about Islam for a long while.
	This is obviously a political move.
	Was it the Islamic Society of Baltimore?
	Something really long and obnoxious like that.
	Something long and obnoxious in a crap hole city.
	Which?
	Crap old city.
	Mind you.
	Who's running for mayor?
	Who's running for mayor?
	Hold on a second.
	Does anyone out there, you can tweet me, do you know who's running for mayor?
	Do you know who's running for mayor?
	I'm going to say DeRay!
	DeRay.
	Gay Black Lives Matter DeRay apparently filed the paperwork to run for mayor of Baltimore.
	Can you imagine?
	I don't know what he thinks he can offer that city.
	I mean, he's going to be just pulverized.
	Sexually.
	That'll be the first time a city official would have hooves.
	That is an evil, evil man.
	So, have you been to Baltimore?
	It looks like someone just vomited a city.
	Baltimore is a horrible city.
	I have a friend who lives there.
	Funnily enough, an Asian friend.
	So it's...
	Well, there's no central...
	Second generation Asian friend.
	Well, his parents moved here from Laos.
	And so, very different culture.
	Very different moving to the old Baltimore.
	That's...
	Good stories.
	There's no planning.
	When you look at it, it's just like, okay, here's a house right next to a 7-Eleven, right next to a hooker den.
	There shouldn't be a hooker den right there, but there's a hooker den.
	Martin O'Malley is very proud of that.
	And Martin O'Malley is wildly proud of it, that he's disarmed his citizenry.
	Baltimore is an awful, awful city.
	I don't want to vilify it.
	We probably have a lot of listeners in Baltimore.
	Get out.
	Get out to Baltimore.
	Detroit, Baltimore, Cleveland, St.
	Louis.
	Renounce it!
	Renounce it!
	These are not places you should be.
	And I can hear the alt-right right now going, it's because they're black.
	No, it's not because they're black.
	It's because of the ideas.
	It's because of the far-left ideas and the ideology that has run those cities forever.
	Okay?
	Welfare programs, more and more money to public schools and unions, a disarmed citizenry.
	These places are awful.
	Back to Barack Obama meeting with...
	I sounded like Obama.
	The way I said it, it was short.
	Obama.
	My brain is tired.
	This is different.
	As we do it with the video, I've got to be on.
	I'm glistening.
	I look like a 90-year-old catcher's mitt.
	This is terrible.
	This is a disaster.
	Here's the thing.
	Obama's talking about Muslims and the hatred from the United States, right?
	Now, we need to stop this.
	Um...
	I've not heard him talk about the discrimination toward Christians when it deals with bakeries or bed and breakfasts, right, because they don't want to serve people.
	Is there something wrong with your beverage?
	You're looking at it as though you got sick.
	No, no, it's just brain freeze.
	Brain freeze?
	Yeah, it was pretty cold.
	It came out of the freezer.
	You don't hear President Obama.
	He makes it a priority at the Baltimore Islamic Society to talk about Islam and the hate, but he doesn't talk about Germany.
	He doesn't talk about Jews.
	Jews face discrimination in the country way more statistically speaking.
	Well, openly by Muslims.
	Yeah, openly by Muslims.
	Muslims hate the Jews.
	But even in this country, way more discrimination, hate crimes against the old Jews.
	Yeah, of course.
	Which is why they're so angry when you can't even play a, you know, a damn trumpet the right way.
	Am I hearing a beeping?
	No, that's in your head, buddy.
	I'm hearing a beeping.
	Did I have a stroke?
	You look like it.
	I'm hearing a beeping going on.
	Yeah, let's talk about the Jews.
	Let's talk about Christians and their businesses being run out on rails.
	Why doesn't he ever talk about Germany or Sweden?
	Sweden is the rape capital of the West.
	All of this is happening.
	For the first time, Europe is going, guys, we've got to spend billions here to get these borders up.
	We can't have this open passing through.
	We've got to do something about this because it's become a problem.
	Even the most politically correct countries in Europe have acknowledged there's a problem with it.
	What about all the covered-up sexual assaults in Germany and Cologne?
	Oh, all of that happened because of Muslims.
	Well, again, we talked about the transgender situation before, right?
	The boy selling Girl Scout cookies.
	Men who want a Lorena Bobbitt, their Doniger, now competing in the Olympics as females.
	Well, you don't want to discriminate.
	You're cruel.
	Okay, what about the women who have to wrestle Alexander Caroline in a dress?
	What about the girls who want to have their slumber party and now have to deal with Nicholas, the Girl Scout?
	Jasper.
	Jasper.
	What about the women who've been sexually assaulted in record numbers, undeniable correlation, all across Europe?
	Was it a byproduct of their Islamophobia?
	They had it coming because they didn't wear hijabs.
	You have mayors in Germany right now asking parents to have their 10-year-old children wear parkas and funny hats.
	Again, because the mindset is, in order to be so tolerant of Islam right now, it's the same racism as you see with affirmative action.
	It's that prejudice of lowered expectations.
	We don't expect Islamic men to control themselves.
	Oh, you weren't wearing a hijab.
	And he had an erection.
	What was he supposed to do?
	Not have sex with you?
	I mean, what choice did he have?
	You were wearing a turtleneck and jeans, and he wanted to rape you.
	Draw your own conclusion, dummy.
	What do you think is coming down the pike?
	Hint, it hurts.
	It's not going to be comfortable.
	My point is, any time you try and act as...
	We need to prevent the marginalization of this group.
	You're going to marginalize someone else.
	And we are at the point where the minority has screamed so loudly.
	We're talking very, very, less than single digit percentage point here of transgender, of social justice warriors, of angry fat feminists, of other kin, that we are marginalizing everybody else.
	Listen, women aren't big fans of having to compete against men.
	They're also not big fans of being raped by Muslims in record numbers all across Europe.
	Why don't we talk about it?
	And then we talk about rape culture here in the United States?
	The fact that Barack Obama in today's climate decided to stop by the Islamic Society of Baltimore is emblematic of everything that is wrong.
	It's someone who doesn't want to deal with the real issues.
	And it's a reason why Trump has had so much popularity, and I acknowledge it, and there's value in that.
	Someone who's just willing to say, hey, let's call this out, right?
	That needs to happen.
	Anytime Barack Obama says something now, you have Donald Trump.
	Everything that guy just says is bull****.
	And that's good.
	I wish it were someone more principled saying it.
	Obama, has he visited a synagogue?
	Has he done this?
	Barack Obama?
	I don't think Bill Ayers would be a fan of that.
	He may have driven by one.
	He may have driven by one.
	In Detroit.
	Well, careful with that language when you're talking about an African-American gentleman.
	Oh, that's true.
	That's your hate speech.
	Jews!
	Break yourself, fool!
	It's Obama!
	Coo-coo-coo-coo-coo-coo!
	That's going to become a gif.
	That's the gif of the show.
	That's the gif of the show.
	Listen, Jews are disproportionately targeted for hate crimes simply because they're Jews.
	I can't recall Barack Obama lecturing Hollywood for their anti-Christian bias.
	The whole deal is anytime we see an Islamic terrorist in a film, we're supposed to feel guilty and how unfairly are they represented.
	I think they're perfectly represented.
	As a matter of fact, I want to see more Muslim terrorists in films.
	I get so angry.
	I don't know about you.
	Whenever I see a film and it's like, there's this terrorist plot to blow up the White House.
	Really?
	Yes.
	And the terrorist is played by Gerard Butler, part of the Swedish extremist front.
	And you're like, oh, God.
	You know, based loosely on a true story.
	And you look up the true story and it was Farouk Mohammed.
	Which accent will they have this time?
	Gerard Butler and Liam Neeson are the worst.
	Yeah.
	I get so upset when Brits talk about how Americans can't do the English accent.
	I go, listen, your best actor, Michael Caine, has never come close.
	There's only a few, I think, British actors who can really pull off the American accent.
	Well, I think there's probably a lot more Americans who can pull off the British.
	Even the one who does it better, Tom Hardy, it's always kind of the same guy, unless he has the Bane mask.
	You know who's probably the best?
	It's Hugh Laurie.
	Hugh Laurie's pretty good.
	He's a talented guy, too.
	He plays the piano.
	Joel Edgerton's pretty good with it.
	A lot of people don't know who Joel Edgerton is.
	I know he is.
	I'm trying to think.
	I don't think about...
	Does he play a Brit in anything?
	I can't think of him.
	I can't think of him.
	I don't think many people even know that he's American.
	I don't know.
	We got off track.
	We got off track.
	We're talking about Muslims.
	You picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.
	We need to get back on track talking about the Islamic Society.
	Tweet me at S. Crowder how you feel about this.
	Am I just overreacting?
	I think that with Europe falling and with...
	Listen, Europe is falling and it's entirely due to Islamic immigration, okay?
	And we shouldn't have that problem in the United States because it's not a racial thing.
	This is the perfect example of being able to say, no, we exclude your ideology.
	It's not a race because Islam isn't a race.
	It's an ideology, right?
	We can say another ideology is hateful.
	Listen, you better bake those gay wedding cakes.
	But we can't say, you know what?
	If you're not willing to come here and obey our laws and not rape our women, we don't have time for you.
	I don't.
	We're going to bring on Courtney Scoffs after this Raise the Estrogen Level.
	Stay tuned.
	Stay tuned.
	breaking those on Lauerwef Crowder.
	I'm Perry Matheson.
	We again take you to Donald Trump's press conference as he lobs his accusations of foul play at Senator Ted Cruz.
	Okay, listen.
	Frankly, this is a travesty.
	Okay, of justice.
	Okay, people here in Iowa, right, they want to vote.
	Okay, I have been better for Iowa, truthfully, than anybody else has ever been for Iowa.
	I've talked about, okay, how I would be for ethanol subsidies.
	Okay, listen, Ted Cruz isn't for ethanol subsidies.
	He doesn't care about the farmer.
	Listen, I've always been big on corn, okay?
	We used to have corn on the cob, we'd have cream corn, we'd have corn on spinach, okay?
	I eat so much corn, they call me the corn-eating machine, is what they call Trump there at the Trump Towers.
	Ted Cruz doesn't like corn.
	Okay, I even, we've even heard that Ted Cruz, okay, He doesn't even eat corn.
	He doesn't eat wheat.
	Come on.
	You're going to run for president of the United States, you don't eat corn or wheat?
	The farmers did not vote for Ted Cruz.
	This is ill-gotten gain.
	All of these precincts, frankly, they voted for Ted Cruz.
	We have reason to believe that they set out a violation of voting policy and they lied to their constituency.
	This is a foul victory.
	None of these delegates should be counted for Cruz.
	Well, if the whole state's been foul play, what about your delegates?
	Well, we believe that those delegates are legitimate.
	Okay, we have no reason to believe that there's anything wrong.
	And, uh, and, and, uh, we should keep them.
	Well, there you have it.
	for breaking news on water low crawler i'm parry mathletophan glad to be back and And of course, Not Gay Jared.
	You can follow him on the Twitter.
	If you want him off the chopping block, tweet me at SCrowder.
	Because he is gone.
	Because we have one of our regular guests, my most brilliant writer, and we don't even have our intro song.
	So, Not Gay Jared, are you ready?
	Give her the intro song.
	I can't remember what it is.
	Oh, well.
	No, you know exactly what it is.
	Darth Courtney?
	Darth Courtney.
	I think Courtney should sing it.
	No, no, no.
	She can't speak until I introduce her.
	It's the Darth Vader theme song.
	I keep thinking.
	That's not it, though.
	That's not it.
	Go ahead.
	Okay, so I want to bring on my next guest.
	Do it or you're fired.
	I'm not even joking.
	Please hire me.
	I need help.
	Courtney Kirchhoff is here.
	I can stop it.
	It's embarrassing.
	Courtney, thank you.
	Look at this with the jacket.
	I know.
	It's new.
	You like it.
	It is nice.
	Pink.
	It's feminine.
	Upping my girl power.
	Upping your girl power.
	So for people who don't know, a lot of the stuff that goes up on the website, Courtney is my senior editor at the site.
	She writes a lot.
	She's very intelligent.
	And you've kind of had a turning point.
	So with Iowa, let me ask you this, firstly.
	Do you think Ted Cruz personally sent out the order to tell everyone that Ben Carson, his campaign had been stopped and that they should vote for him instead, and that's why he won?
	I do not believe that.
	He was probably way too busy trying to get out as many votes as he could, doing interviews.
	Those kinds of things don't come from the top.
	It sounded like it was just volunteers.
	Who did it?
	I can't see Ted Cruz sitting there stroking a cat in a chair with wings on it going, you know what we're going to do?
	We're really going to screw Ben Carson by saying he's canceled his campaign.
	Do it now.
	Sneaky.
	Indeed.
	I just don't see that.
	Well, you...
	With his...
	Mr.
	Rogers, with his sweater and his...
	These are not valid arguments that you don't see it, Courtney.
	We expect it better from you.
	What is this?
	You're supposed to come in and bring us up a notch.
	I just don't...
	Well, I mean, contrast that with Donald Trump, who did compare Ben Carson to a pedophile.
	Right.
	So Ben Carson, as the pedophile, and Donald Trump saying, oh, Ben Carson, he was so screwed by Ted Cruz.
	Well, A few months ago you were comparing him to a child molester.
	So wait a second.
	Not Gay Jerry was at a show with me when I did stand-up and someone came up and just said, you know, I just, I trust Trump.
	I said, well, why?
	I just trust him, you little, you know.
	And I said, okay, but why?
	That's not an argument.
	He said, he's the only good man and Ben Carson.
	I looked her in the eyes and said, well, Ben Carson has sex with little children.
	How dare you?
	How could you say that?
	I said, he's a pedophile.
	That's what Trump said.
	That's what Trump said.
	I don't believe the media.
	I said, call my wife a bimbo.
	Go ahead.
	Oh, she seems very nice.
	Yeah, but just call her a bimbo.
	Who would do that?
	Donald Trump did.
	I don't believe the media!
	And then she put her dentures in a water jar, which I didn't even know still happened.
	But that was what she did.
	That was probably taking it a little too far.
	Her?
	That's your insult to her.
	That's ageism.
	No, it wasn't an insult.
	She actually carried around with her.
	It was like a Nalgene bottle for dentures.
	You're not supposed to say it.
	That's just gross.
	Yeah.
	Then she drank it.
	I thought, well, that was weird, but I guess there's some kind of a, it's like a Bear Grylls.
	She was recycling, but maybe she was recycling.
	I was talking with, we can come back to this, because I was talking with Not Gay Jared about this.
	And you liked Trump.
	At one point I liked Trump.
	I liked what he was doing, I would say.
	I was never a supporter of him, but I said, okay, there's some value here.
	People can go back on the site and see that.
	But has he...
	Can you recall any instance where he's gone after Ted Cruz on ideas and not something personal?
	Oh, no.
	He has...
	That they're reaching all the way into the barrel for this, which is just politics.
	If you get a report from CNN saying that Carson's doing something very unusual and not continuing on the campaign trail, he's going to go back to Florida to get some new clothes.
	This is politics.
	So that Trump is using this.
	Against Cruz?
	It means he has nothing else to go on.
	Cruz is Canadian.
	Cruz is a nasty guy.
	Goldman Sachs.
	Nobody likes him.
	Has he gone after him on anything that he's done in the Senate?
	No.
	I can't recall.
	And you can't either, not Gay Jared?
	No.
	I mean, I don't watch, I mean, there's so much, you know, more than watching a lifetime of rallies and stuff, but not on a public, like, broad platform.
	It really is.
	I'm searching.
	I want people, please tweet me at S. Crowder.
	I just can't remember.
	The closest thing I know is, you know, he said Ted Cruz was against Amnesty, which he always was.
	And he said, now he's taking my place and he's copying me.
	That's the closest thing to politics, which is that's an important thing people need to understand on the amnesty issue.
	Ted Cruz was always against amnesty.
	The reason he signed on to that bill is, okay, hold on a second.
	If this bill is going to go through, we have to at least carve out no amnesty.
	Sorry, not amnesty.
	No path to citizenship at all if you came here illegally.
	And Donald Trump tried to claim credit for that.
	That's the closest thing that I know.
	I'm trying to think if there's anything else where Donald Trump has attacked his ideas.
	But has he done that with Ben Carson?
	I don't think so.
	Do you consider child molestation a public, like a really big political...
	And the belt.
	Well, Nambla's influential.
	They just passed the NRA as the biggest special interest donors.
	Nambla.
	No, it's true.
	You didn't know the age of consent is nine?
	Sorry, that's Saudi Arabia.
	Okay, so Courtney.
	So how do you think this is going to...
	Well, we have...
	Okay, we only have a minute.
	How do you think this is going to play out?
	Do you think this is going to play in favor for Trump?
	Or do you think this is going to hurt him?
	Do you think this is going to hurt Ted Cruz?
	It's hard to say because people who like Trump still like Trump.
	I don't know that anything he does is going to change their minds.
	They're very emotional about him.
	Whether or not it's going to hurt Ted Cruz, it might, especially as other candidates start dropping out of the race and there are votes to be collected.
	So I don't know if it's going to hurt Ted Cruz.
	I hope not.
	I like Ted Cruz.
	Yeah, I like him too.
	And he'll be on the show probably to talk about some of these issues.
	We're supposed to have Rubio, I think, too.
	I don't know.
	I don't book these guests anymore.
	I don't like doing it.
	I don't even like it when Courtney's on, and she's on all the time.
	Alright, we have to go to a break.
	We'll be back with Courtney.
	We'll talk about the first female combatant.
	For those of you who don't know, it's a pretty funny story.
	Ladder with Crowder.
	Stay tuned.
	We'll be right back.
	We'll be right back.
	or higher, find an open area.
	it's a Stage 6, Whoa, Jared, what are you doing?
	Shoot bad guys!
	With what?
	AR-15!
	Where'd you get it?
	AR-15.com!
	Oh, there's another one!
	Kaboom!
	You got him!
	Yeah!
	Thank God for AR-15.com!
	They have AR-15 and accessories for sale and the best advice there is on the web!
	Oh no, there's another one!
	Kaboom!
	You got him!
	Yeah!
	With your what?
	AR-15!
	From where?
	AR-15.com!
	That's the best place to go and that's the takeaway because this commercial is about to stop!
	This is my old white guy dance.
	For people watching the live stream, this is how the old white people in the old whitish side of my family dance at weddings.
	For those of you who don't know, little known fact, Not Gay Jared was in the end of the tour with Jason Segel and Jesse Eisenberg.
	And do it again.
	Get the camera on you.
	You can see him in one scene dancing just like that.
	And I don't know if the director out there, we have a lot of people who work in the entertainment industry who listen to the show.
	If you're listening or if you're watching this, you should have fired Not Gay Jared as an extra on the spot.
	You should have hauled him out in front of the actors and rubbed his nose in the crap.
	You just know they had to get to that point.
	They'd be like, you serious?
	We have no other shots we could use.
	We have no other shots.
	You literally ruined the film.
	You're for serious.
	Really?
	Can't Rosen roll any other parts?
	That's fun, though.
	We are back with our good writer.
	Courtney Scoffs is where you can find her on Twitter.
	We have a tweet actually about you, Courtney, from Dick Morris.
	Can you show your feet?
	Those are weird.
	Can you show your feet?
	Those are so weird.
	On the live stream segment.
	What's funny is I know it's not...
	How far does your seat recline?
	I know it's not Dick Morris, but we've had an ongoing joke about Dick Morris liking feet because it's well known.
	And so someone actually, I think, created an entire account around this just to razz Dick Morris.
	That's fantastic.
	It is great, and I respect the guy's troll game.
	Well done, Dick Morris, but I don't think you'll see Courtney's feet.
	Courtney, we talked about this with you, your first time on the program, about women being able to enlist in the military in active combat.
	Well, the first female combatant, first one, you wrote about this at ladderwithcrader.com.
	What happened?
	Give us the scoop, darling.
	Well, she enlisted.
	She got so much praise because she was so brave, and she's just breaking through the glass ceiling.
	And yes, all women.
	She went through basic training.
	She signed up as an engineer, went through basic training.
	For some reason, she was on convalescence for a little while, and then one day later, she was out of there and has yet to report for duty.
	It's been about...
	I think it's been about a couple weeks.
	And it's...
	Well, no.
	I think it's been about a month.
	And after 25 days when you don't report, you're considered...
	She thought it was going to be fun and she showed up.
	She's like, where are they going to be in the army?
	The price is wrong, bitch.
	And that's funny.
	Yeah.
	Do I get to shoot a gun?
	Because I want to shoot a gun.
	I really want to shoot a gun.
	Is it...
	But is it like...
	Does it have like wet because the black is scary?
	I just find it...
	Why are you laughing so hard now?
	I just...
	She could have gone AWOL. She might be dead.
	Oh, God.
	Right, so as I was writing the post, I think...
	We don't know yet.
	I hope she's not in a ditch somewhere, but I'm going to make fun of her anyway.
	Well, obviously we hope she's not in a ditch, and we honor anyone who serves their country, but...
	It got to pat you at least like a week.
	I think Stalker Jim tweeted us, how did they figure out she went AWOL? Did the independent review of the performance of her troop all of a sudden skyrocket?
	I know this is not indicative and you have plenty of women who don't go AWOL who will do fine, right?
	And obviously there are outliers.
	But every now and then you get a story that is just so straight down center plate.
	I mean, you've got to go with it, right?
	The first one, it's because people made such a big deal about it.
	And she's gone.
	She hit the road, Jack.
	Something else.
	else are you aware of this maternity leave from military moms yeah Yeah, let's propose.
	I'm sorry.
	It's really embarrassing when women start insisting, like, I want maternity leave so that, you know, I want to be in the military, but I also want to have babies.
	When you're on, I can just play with the soundboard.
	Oh, it's embarrassing.
	Why don't you go back to your home on Whore Island?
	It wouldn't be a corny second if that didn't show up at some point.
	It didn't show up at some point.
	I feel so bad because I know her parents are tuning in.
	And imagine that, just being like your daughter has made it.
	She's put on this nice pink blazer.
	She's called in.
	She's done her makeup.
	She's very pretty.
	She's just a very elegant woman.
	And then you tune in and go, my daughter is on this live stream of this popular show.
	And the first thing you hear is...
	you go back to your home on whore island and that's why we do this show you know what you gotta keep pressing your children reach for the stars reach for the it won't always happen your first time sometimes you have to go back to your home if you aim for the stars at the very least if you miss you'll land on whore island so courtney um yeah maternity leave the thing about the military is it was a perfect microcosm for an apolitical atmosphere and And having entertained the troops several different times, they talked about that a lot.
	Even, you know, after Barack Obama came in when we were doing these interviews in Guantanamo Bay, I remember them going like, listen, you know, a lot of us, they're not really fans of this guy, but they're not going to tell you because we're not allowed to talk about this.
	So it was really tough to get them to speak on camera.
	They had to be politically neutral because this was their commander-in-chief.
	He's not really our commander-in-chief.
	That's a term that's sort of, I guess, misappropriate.
	He's their commander-in-chief.
	He is effectively the leader of the military, which protects the free world.
	And so politics were not supposed to be involved.
	And now we've got the gay, the trans issues, women in there, in combat, maternity leave.
	As a woman, Courtney, does this make you feel safer?
	No.
	That's not enough.
	Okay, so when we talked about with Ripto, right, we said the purpose of the military is to kill people and break things.
	Yes.
	Nails not included for the feminists out there.
	Breaking a nail is not part of it.
	No, it doesn't count.
	And if you want to be in the military, fine.
	You need to be able to kill people and break things and do it really well.
	It is not supposed to be a petri dish for social experiments.
	Remember that episode of the Wonder Years where the older brother, who was this butch bully, he couldn't get into the military and he was crying because he had flat feet?
	Like, you weren't allowed.
	Oh, you should tell Dick Morris.
	Is Dick Morris...
	Well, I don't know.
	Dick Morris...
	I think he wants the arch because, you know...
	Stop it!
	You know.
	But, you know, at that point, they never even considered women for active duty.
	It's like, well, you have flat feet.
	Or, nope, you wear glasses.
	You can't be a pilot.
	Now it's like...
	Ah, you're 30-60% weaker than the average male and you can't do the pull-ups or meet the PT requirements.
	Sure, we want you.
	That's a startling change.
	I don't know about you.
	For the military, I want a rough, tobacco-chewing, leather-necked hunter who would be shooting something...
	Leather-necked, lesbian.
	That's the one thing about lesbians.
	They're never like the movies.
	In the movies, it's like, wow.
	And then in real life, let's go buy plaid shirts in Orvis.
	Yeah.
	Let's talk about that.
	That drives me crazy.
	You're a pretty girl.
	Because you can't find the shirts anymore.
	I go to look for the shirts.
	I want a plaid shirt once in a while.
	You shave and people think you're a lesbian.
	They think you're the older sister from Roseanne.
	It's been mistaken once or twice.
	Maybe twice.
	Yeah, you know, I don't get it.
	Like, if I were gay, I'd be attracted to, like, Sargon.
	I wouldn't be attracted to...
	I mean, if you're a woman, right?
	You're attracted to men.
	I am a woman.
	But if you were attracted to women, it would be because you don't like men.
	So you'd think you would be attracted to someone like my wife, or my wife would be attracted to someone like you.
	Someone feminine.
	Yeah.
	Not Rosie O'Donnell.
	No.
	Objectively, as a woman.
	Is Rosie O'Donnell...
	Is there something I'm missing?
	I don't...
	See, okay.
	This is...
	Maybe we're getting...
	The only answer is...
	No, God!
	No, God, please, no!
	No!
	No!
	You have to let that one play out.
	Okay, get into it with Rosie.
	What were you going to say?
	Well, with lesbians in general, they're nothing like how they're portrayed in film.
	These beautiful statuesque models.
	Pornography.
	Yeah, that's not who lesbians are.
	When you see lesbians in real life driving the Subaru Foresters, they're overweight, they're dumpy, they've got really butch, short haircuts, they're unattractive.
	And I know that they're all going to come out with knives against me for saying this, but sometimes I think that they're lesbians because they couldn't get them.
	There's actually a mailing list.
	There's a mailing list just for them.
	We set up a P.O. box.
	Please send your knives.
	No, they're not sending their knives.
	They're going to come after you with knives.
	That's no value.
	They send you anthrax in an envelope.
	And that's what...
	Mostly I'm scared if they try to sit on me because they're so big.
	Well, that's part of their practices.
	So when it comes to...
	It hasn't made sense to me, and I actually had explained to me by a conservative pundit who was gay and said, well, once you open the doors, you expand your horizon sexually, then you're able...
	These norms are broken down.
	And again, that makes the case that, okay, then there can be no anti-slippery slope argument.
	You're basically saying you're removing all barometers to attraction and natural human interaction as it relates to sexuality.
	And so now you're a lesbian who hates men, but you like women who look like men.
	Otherwise, it's nonsensical.
	Right.
	And see, that's what's really weird about feminism.
	When the feminists are talking about how much they hate men, then they turn around and start looking like men.
	So...
	They've defeated their own argument.
	But you're a strong woman.
	You're independent.
	You are such an organization Nazi.
	I mean, you and my wife are the strongest women I know as far as professional and have your goals and you're driven.
	So why does someone like you, what is it that makes you so anti-feminist?
	Because people would think you're right in that wheelhouse.
	No.
	Feminists are wimpy.
	They...
	I guess I don't need feminism.
	I don't need modern feminism.
	I don't need third wave feminism, because I can do things for myself.
	And if a guy says something that I find offensive, I don't go crying about it.
	I also think some of these women have never had a man say anything complimentary to them, so they don't want other women having compliments from men either.
	I think that's a dirty little secret of the third wave feminists.
	They want to perceive everything as rape culture because no one has ever said to them, you look hot today.
	This is true.
	Also, you don't hate wieners.
	You don't fear them.
	I know.
	Are you going to play the Whore Island?
	Well, no, not yet.
	We'll play it on the way that you go off.

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