We'll Be Back On Monday
Today, Dan and Jordan drop a little announcement that they're going to be taking this Friday off from having an episode. To make it up to everyone, Dan reviews a couple foods he's eaten recently.
June 12, 2020 - Knowledge Fight
07:10
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| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
|
unidentified
|
I'm a policy wonk. | |
| Hey everybody, Dan here. | ||
| Hi, I'm Jordan. | ||
| Hey, how's it going, buddy? | ||
| I am also here. | ||
| I just wanted to take a quick little moment to give you a little bit of a heads up that we are taking this Friday off from an episode, but we will be back on Monday. | ||
| There's just so much to get handled in terms of the move. | ||
| Moving is nuts. | ||
| Yeah, I mean, a lot of it I was able to take care of and gradually do, but there's, you know, you always get blindsided by various things, like so much... | ||
| So many accounts to move over, like utilities and stuff. | ||
| It's a lot. | ||
| So I'm just going to take a one-off me day here, but we'll be back. | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| I think that's a great idea. | ||
| You should definitely take the day off. | ||
| It pains me. | ||
| And for God's sakes, clean off your soundboard. | ||
| For God's sakes, get that compressed air for once. | ||
| You're a dick! | ||
| Damn it! | ||
| Tell me what to do with my soundboard, because if you do... | ||
| Damn it! | ||
| Don't tell me what to do. | ||
| In the move, I'll dust that stuff off. | ||
| It pains me. | ||
| I wish we could do a stupid episode. | ||
| We'll be back on Monday and everything. | ||
| Thank you to everybody who's been so supportive and kind about... | ||
| Telling me to take a week off. | ||
| And just people being excited for the new place and the new pet. | ||
| Yes, we are all very excited. | ||
| The new animal friend. | ||
| Which I think I've made a decision on which will be forthcoming. | ||
| Ooh, now you're teasing? | ||
| I'm not teasing because I haven't fully made this decision, but I'm leaning very heavily in one direction that will actually shock the world. | ||
| The announcement will come. | ||
| Shock the world. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Anyway, the Seltzer website has been updated. | ||
| Ooh! | ||
| Here's something we can do. | ||
| What's that? | ||
| What's that? | ||
| I know people love my food reviews, so let's do a little bit of a food conversation. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| All right. | ||
| What do you got? | ||
| I had two foods. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Two foods. | |
| I tried this last week or so. | ||
| Good and bad. | ||
| No. | ||
| Well, I don't know. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| I expected both to be terrible. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| One. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Pop-Tarts. | ||
| Pop-Tarts. | ||
| Which kind? | ||
| Fruit Loops. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fruit Loops? | |
| Get the fuck out of here. | ||
| I found a single pack at the corner store. | ||
| There shouldn't even have been that many. | ||
| I agreed. | ||
| I don't like Pop-Tarts to begin with. | ||
| I think they're trash. | ||
| I hate them. | ||
| I think they're a bad way to have food delivered to your mouth. | ||
| I think most of them are glorified candy or whatever. | ||
| Those ones that are like fucking hot fudge sundae. | ||
| Yeah, I know. | ||
| They're bananas. | ||
| Although I will eat those for dessert, maybe. | ||
| Cinnamon brown sugar is the only way to go. | ||
| As a breakfast, no good. | ||
| Maybe a s'more. | ||
| Fruit punch. | ||
| Fruit loops. | ||
| Super crazy, though. | ||
| I can't resist the call of that. | ||
| Yeah, your addiction to novelty is beyond me. | ||
| So I grabbed them and I heated them up. | ||
| I expected it to be terrible. | ||
| How'd you heat them up? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Toaster? | |
| Toaster oven. | ||
| Toaster oven? | ||
| Toaster oven. | ||
| And then I did what I always do with Pop-Tart to just cut off the edges because it's too much of the pastry and it's gross. | ||
| So got rid of those edges. | ||
| That's a detail I didn't know about you. | ||
| What? | ||
| Did I cut the edges off of Pop-Tart? | ||
| It's too much of that gross pastry. | ||
| No. | ||
| No. | ||
| Not eat that. | ||
| So I cut the edges off. | ||
| Really good. | ||
| Really good. | ||
| I hate to say it. | ||
| Really good. | ||
| Well, I mean, not really good. | ||
| I don't want it for breakfast, but it was shockingly close to Froot Loops. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| Really? | ||
| Because the flavor of the inside, the filling... | ||
| Was gooey? | ||
| Yeah, but it tasted like a Froot Loop. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And then because of the frosting on top, that recreated the sort of sugary vibe of the Froot Loop. | ||
| I thought it was very accurate to a Froot Loop. | ||
| Really? | ||
| And I felt really ashamed afterwards because I was like... | ||
| Oh, you guys nailed it. | ||
| You sat out to make a Fruit Loop Pop-Tart and you did. | ||
| Gotta give it to you. | ||
| I gotta give it up to those Somali pirates. | ||
| Very accurate. | ||
| See, I don't like that. | ||
| I don't like transforming texture. | ||
| I don't like the same taste turning into a different texture. | ||
| I need the taste and the texture to match up. | ||
| If I taste a Fruit Loop, it better be crunchy. | ||
| I can't have it turn into chewy. | ||
| I don't disagree with you as a whole, but I went in expecting garbage and it wasn't that bad, so I applaud them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Perfect. | |
| Second thing. | ||
| Second thing. | ||
| New Oreo on the scene that I found. | ||
| Tiramisu. | ||
| Tiramisu Oreo? | ||
| Who are these people? | ||
| They're crazy. | ||
| Where are we coming from? | ||
| So here's what happened. | ||
| I thought this was very exciting. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| I got it home. | ||
| Grabbed one of these Oreos out. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| As I was eating it, I realized I don't think I've ever had Tiramisu. | ||
| You don't think you've ever had Tiramisu? | ||
| No. | ||
| I don't think so. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Really? | |
| I thought that I had. | ||
| Never? | ||
| Not at a wedding? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't think so. | |
| Not at somewhere? | ||
| Not that I can remember. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Did it taste like a tiramisu? | ||
| That's the question I can't answer. | ||
| Did it taste good? | ||
| Not great. | ||
| Tastes fine. | ||
| Well, that's about what a tiramisu tastes like. | ||
| Kind of coffee-ish? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Is that the vibe of a tiramisu? | ||
| Basically. | ||
| Yeah, okay. | ||
| It's not great. | ||
| No. | ||
| No. | ||
| Nobody's ever been like, God, I need a tiramisu right now. | ||
| I have heard that from people before. | ||
| When? | ||
| It's been a while. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| God, I need a tiramisu. | ||
| It's 4 a.m. | ||
| I just got out of the bar. | ||
| I just need a tiramisu right now, guys. | ||
| For a cannoli. | ||
| Yeah, it was a really interesting experience for me to have that realization mid-Oreo that I haven't had what this is pretending to be. | ||
| You have no frame of reference for it. | ||
| No, certainly not. | ||
| Could be dead on, could be alive. | ||
| I could give the middle finger to the Swedish Fish Oreo because I've had Swedish Fish before. | ||
| I'm aware of what that's going to be. | ||
| There's a Swedish Fish Oreo. | ||
| Oreo? | ||
| Yeah, I made you eat one. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh, that's right. | |
| It was a ways back. | ||
| Wow, yeah, no, you're right. | ||
| Or what was the other one? | ||
| The one that had like Pop Rocks in it. | ||
| Oh, that one was gross. | ||
| I enjoyed that. | ||
| You liked that one? | ||
| I like Pop Rocks. | ||
| I don't like Pop Rocks. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| I don't like Pop Rocks alone. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Incorporated into something like an Oreo, it's pretty exciting. | ||
| No. | ||
| Pretty exciting. | ||
| Pop Rocks is just a sprinkle that pisses me off. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| It's an aggressive sprinkle. | ||
| It's an aggressive sprinkle. | ||
| So here's the deal. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Fruit Loop Pop-Tart. | ||
| I don't even know how to rate these. | ||
| I would say what it is is it exceeded my expectations and pleasantly surprised me. | ||
| And if I were giving advice to people who are trying to find like weird novelty food. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| If you're interested in that, give it a shot because it does not disappoint. | ||
| Okay, good. | ||
| If you really like tiramisu. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Uh-huh. | |
| I don't know. | ||
| Try one. | ||
| Maybe it's like tiramisu. | ||
| I couldn't tell you. | ||
| If you don't like tiramisu, maybe try one. | ||
| It doesn't taste like tiramisu. | ||
| Who knows? | ||
| I have no idea. | ||
| Maybe it tastes like a regular Oreo with a little bit of coffee. | ||
| Maybe. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| Anyway, this has been my novelty food review. | ||
| And Jordan, if you didn't enjoy that... | ||
| You're a jerk! | ||
| We've got to get out of here. | ||
| Yeah, we do. | ||
| So we'll be back, but thanks for your patience, everyone out there. | ||
| We really appreciate it, and once we're all settled in, everything will be so spectacular, and there will be a new pet, and we'll talk to you soon. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Yes, we will. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Andy in Kansas, you're on the air. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thanks for holding. | |
| Hello, Alex. | ||
| I'm a first-time caller. | ||
| I'm a huge fan. | ||
| I love your work. |
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