Today, Dan and Jordan go in blind for a special mini episode of the podcast, where they are going to listen to a randomly selected video from InfoWars YouTube channel. Do they get lucky and stumble into some insanity, or does life decide to be cruel and end up dishing them a David Knight video? Only one way for you to find out.
| Speaker | Time | Text |
|---|---|---|
| Andy in Kansas, you're on the air. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thanks for holding. | |
| Hello, Alex. | ||
| I'm a first time caller. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm a huge fan. | |
| I love your work. | ||
| I love you. | ||
| Hey everybody, welcome back to Knowledge Fight. | ||
| I'm Dan. | ||
| I'm Jordan! | ||
| We are back for another new kinda episode here on the podcast. | ||
| We're recording a shorter episode. | ||
| Maybe a bonus. | ||
| Which is basically against our entire ethos. | ||
| Yeah, we like to go long. | ||
| We like to go long as a... | ||
| As you saw in the last episode. | ||
| Yeah, let's make that as long as possible is the way to describe we like to go long. | ||
| So today what we're going to do is what I... | ||
| Maybe this will be an... | ||
|
unidentified
|
InfoWars roulette. | |
| What we're going to do is I have selected a under 10 minute video from InfoWars.com at random. | ||
| And we will listen to it. | ||
| And one of us will die at the end. | ||
| This is a Russian roulette InfoWars video. | ||
| What straight up real talk, root beer talk makes me scared. | ||
| I don't know if this is an Alex video. | ||
| This might be one of his subordinates. | ||
| And this is our great achievement right here. | ||
| We're going to get into this no matter what. | ||
| Jordan, let me ask you this. | ||
| Would you like me to play it straight through? | ||
| Or would you like to pause in the middle? | ||
| If I say play it straight through... | ||
| I'm going to yell at you halfway through to pause in the middle. | ||
| Fair enough. | ||
| So let's play it by ear. | ||
| And if it's David Knight, I'm going to turn it off immediately. | ||
| All right. | ||
| All right, let's fight this fight. | ||
| Knowledge fight! | ||
| This video is called Tough Talk Leaks. | ||
| God damn it, we're all going to die. | ||
| South Island State Attacks Trump. | ||
| Love it already. | ||
| That's the logo here. | ||
| It's pretty cool. | ||
| Now they cut off the heads. | ||
| They drown people in steel cages. | ||
| Haven't seen this. | ||
| Haven't seen this. | ||
| Nobody's seen this. | ||
| For many, many years. | ||
| All nations have a moral obligation. | ||
| I gotta pause it already. | ||
| That sounds like the opening crawl to Dune, right? | ||
| Like, that's what we're talking about right there. | ||
| Well, that's rambly as hell. | ||
| But I also have to pause it already just to be like, when I was in college, there was that Daniel Pearl video that, like, my friends watched. | ||
| Already? | ||
| Already? | ||
| This is a short version of our episodes. | ||
| This is gonna be six and a half hours long. | ||
| Do you remember that video, though? | ||
| Yes. | ||
| Did you ever watch it? | ||
| Please say no. | ||
| Oh, thank God. | ||
| I did not either, but I listened to my friends watching it in another room. | ||
| That was a beheading video. | ||
| No! | ||
|
unidentified
|
Gross. | |
| They beheaded Daniel Pearl. | ||
| He was a reporter. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, they have those videos now with ISIS where they behead people. | ||
| Yeah, but I'm saying those existed 12 years ago. | ||
| So when Trump is up on stage, you're talking about like... | ||
| We haven't seen beheadings since the Middle Ages. | ||
| Like, no, they've been doing... | ||
| No, we've seen... | ||
| Well, have you seen, like, those old Faces of Death? | ||
| Yes! | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Where... | ||
| I didn't watch those, also. | ||
|
unidentified
|
No! | |
| Why? | ||
| Why would you? | ||
| Why would you? | ||
| But I'm aware of them, and I... | ||
| I am aware of them. | ||
| Yeah, they're horrifying. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Just the existence of them. | ||
| I shan't watch grotesque stuff unless I accidentally watch it. | ||
| That is the 11th Commandment, right? | ||
| Absolutely. | ||
| Like, thou shan't said. | ||
| So Trump might have some more bullshit to say. | ||
| I bet he does. | ||
| ...to speak out against such violence. | ||
| All nations have a duty to work together to confront it and to confront it viciously if we have to. | ||
| So I want to express clearly today to the American people... | ||
| I want to express clearly that he breathes like Alex. | ||
| He breathes weird. | ||
| Why do the two of them breathe weird? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| I think it's because bullshit only goes one way. | ||
| All right. | ||
| It only comes out. | ||
| My administration will do everything in its power to defend and protect religious liberty in our land. | ||
| Religious liberty. | ||
| America must forever remain a tolerant society where all faiths are respected and where all of our citizens can feel safe and secure. | ||
| Pause that. | ||
| We have to feel safe and secure. | ||
| I just want to let you know that I want to kill myself after listening to that and then being where we are in the world today. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| Can we all just murder ourselves right now? | ||
| Totally. | ||
| If there was a suicide cult based on all the lies that Trump has said, I'm the leader of that cult right now. | ||
| There was that guy who tried to self-immolate. | ||
| And, like, when I read that on Twitter, I was like, I get it. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| Yeah, right? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Cool, cool, cool. | |
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| You're not wrong. | ||
| You're not wrong, bro. | ||
| Nah, bro. | ||
| You're on the right track. | ||
| I'm with you. | ||
| Look, I'm not jumping onto that self-immolate train, but you know what you're doing. | ||
| There was a time in my life. | ||
| I still might get there at some point, but I have a holy war against Alex Jones that I gotta carry out. | ||
| If I didn't have a sense of purpose. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I got a larger war to fight. | |
| It's a knowledge war. | ||
| I've got an info war to fight. | ||
| It's a knowledge fight. | ||
| In recent days, we have begun to take necessary action. | ||
| To achieve that goal. | ||
| God, I hate him so much. | ||
| That's gotta be a reference to Yemen, right? | ||
| I hate him so much. | ||
| Yeah, it has to be Yemen. | ||
| That went well. | ||
| I hate him so much. | ||
| That went well. | ||
| He's such a garbage piece of... | ||
| Dude. | ||
| How do you... | ||
| Dude. | ||
| Yemen raid was... | ||
| Boss. | ||
| Do you remember those pictures of whenever Osama was killed? | ||
| This episode is going to be three hours long. | ||
| It's going to be three hours long. | ||
| We're five minutes in. | ||
| No, we're not even two and a half seconds into this fucking clip. | ||
| We're five minutes into our room. | ||
| How are we into our short... | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Do you remember the pictures of the Osama raid? | ||
| Where they have Obama, they have Hillary, they have everybody in the war room staring intently at that video. | ||
| Like, what's gonna happen? | ||
| All of the reports of the Yemen raid were Trump going, yeah, I'm not a big fan of intelligence briefings, and then everything going to shit. | ||
| I mean, what could he have done in that room, really? | ||
| At least pretended to be a... | ||
| Fucking... | ||
| No. | ||
| But as someone who's very convinced of his incompetence, he probably would have only screwed it up more. | ||
| That is a good point. | ||
| That's a good point. | ||
| What if we put him into a tiny little bubble-wrapped room? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Just perfectly... | ||
| Like, you know how happy you feel when you crunch bubble wrap? | ||
| Sure, sure, sure. | ||
| Let's give him a room just full of bubble wrap. | ||
| And then whenever he comes out of it six years from now, one corner of the room is bubble wrap. | ||
| He's no longer present. | ||
| One corner, bubble wrap. | ||
|
unidentified
|
One corner, taffy. | |
| One corner, a laptop. | ||
| One corner, snozzberries. | ||
| Will they taste like snozzberries? | ||
| Snozzberries on one. | ||
| Fourth corner... | ||
| A laptop that has only point-and-click games on it. | ||
| Just like, oh, ooh! | ||
| If somebody explained to him that we don't know where Carmen Sandiego is, his entire presidency would be about finding Carmen Sandiego. | ||
| The fourth corner of the room is just Rockapella. | ||
| Rockapella! | ||
| All right, we're on hour three of our short version episodes. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We have not even gotten into an actual correspondent. | |
| All right, here we go. | ||
| You don't know who it's going to be. | ||
| Okay, and he also, and we're not going to play the clip of this. | ||
| God damn it, it's David Knight. | ||
| Do you want to hear some David Knight? | ||
| Let's finally get into it. | ||
| So, before we go any further. | ||
| I hate this guy. | ||
| You know David Knight so well. | ||
| He's so boring. | ||
| To me, David Knight is non-existent. | ||
| I've never heard David Knight speak before. | ||
| Here's what he looks like. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right. | |
| I'm looking at David Knight, and I hope he gets hit by a truck. | ||
| He kind of has a Santa beard. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Let's ride this out. | ||
| Imagine, listeners, if there was a guy who quintessentially looked like a guy you wanted to get hit by a truck. | ||
| You all have phones. | ||
| Just Google David Knight info. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah. | |
| It's in the white papers. | ||
| They don't even hide it. | ||
| It's in your white phone. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Here we go, David Knight. | ||
| David Knight! | ||
| I was going to tell you, he said, don't worry about all that talk about the tough phone calls. | ||
| It's time we got tough, and we're going to take care of this. | ||
| So he talks about that. | ||
| He talks about what you just heard in terms of the persecution that we see, the violence that we see that we have to confront. | ||
| He understands that that is his duty, to protect us as citizens. | ||
| You're being really unfair with your fake story. | ||
| I'm sorry, I didn't understand. | ||
| Is he still talking? | ||
| He is super boring. | ||
| He is the most boring human being I've ever heard in my life. | ||
| Because you want Alex. | ||
| How is it that Alex is on the same network as this, the most boring human being there's ever been? | ||
| I love the idea that our mini-episodes will just be little glimpses into these other people. | ||
| That is so boring. | ||
| David Knight came up with a dirty dossier. | ||
| Give him a little bit of leeway. | ||
| Start the clip up again. | ||
| I will try and stay awake. | ||
| No, don't you dare. | ||
| I will murder you. | ||
| That is the duty of the American government. | ||
| And then he talks about shutting down the suppression of free speech, of political speech. | ||
| And yet, what does the media focus on? | ||
| The media focuses on his opening joke to the audience. | ||
| Headlines. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Trump opens National Prayer Breakfast with talk about TV ratings. | |
| Trump noted, and this is The Hill, Trump noted his tremendous success at star reality shows. | ||
| How many views does this particular instance have? | ||
| This video has 34,622 views at press time. | ||
| 34,000, right? | ||
| Now, when Alex Jones pulls his cult leader nonsense talk, millions of views. | ||
| Well, maybe not. | ||
| But at least hundreds of thousands of views, right? | ||
| Yeah, way more than this. | ||
| Way more than a David Knight video. | ||
| This dude is amazingly boring. | ||
| He's spectacularly boring. | ||
| He came up with dirty dossier. | ||
| I know, but this is unconscionable. | ||
| I am listening to him talk, wondering why any of us exist at all. | ||
| And now this goes back to on the past episodes when I was so mad that he was posting. | ||
| Yeah, how long has he been talking for? | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It seems like a year. | ||
| It seems like a year! | ||
| This is the most boring human being I've ever... | ||
| His job is to be... | ||
| Listen. | ||
| I'm too angry. | ||
| His boringness serves a purpose, though. | ||
| His droll is in stark contrast to Alex's frenetic... | ||
| Insane pace. | ||
|
unidentified
|
They balance each other out as sort of elder statesmen. | |
| We've all fallen in love with Alex Jones' insanity. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| David Knight is the... | ||
|
unidentified
|
I assure you, he's insane too. | |
| I'm trying to find a corollary... | ||
| The only thing I can think of is a... | ||
| Okay, not a Jane Austen novel. | ||
| I'm listening. | ||
| But the reviewer of a Jane Austen novel who works at a, like, really low-level college. | ||
| I really feel like... | ||
| Like the English professor at, like, Eastern Illinois University who's like, I gotta grind a pick with Jane Austen. | ||
| I legitimately feel like the reviewer is Alex. | ||
| I feel like... | ||
| The reviewer is more insane than the writer. | ||
| I feel like the reviewer is Alex. | ||
| Jane Austen is David Knight. | ||
| Jane Austen is David Knight. | ||
| See, this is what I'm saying. | ||
| I'm saying that even Jane Austen isn't as boring as David Knight. | ||
| It's not worth knowing his name. | ||
| It's not worth knowing his name. | ||
| Will he say anything interesting? | ||
| If he doesn't say dirty dossier, I'm going to be pissed off. | ||
| Liberty Apprentice as well. | ||
| Before you pause real quick. | ||
| Ratings since he left. | ||
| This is just... | ||
| This is now... | ||
| These episodes are now our excuse to just be filled with bile and rage towards some random asshole. | ||
| He's not random to me, though. | ||
| He's like my friend. | ||
| He's like my friend. | ||
| He's an old... | ||
| He's a member of your... | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| No, I understand. | ||
| I know him well. | ||
| I understand. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Oh. | |
| David Knight, I knew thee well. | ||
| This guy's an asshole, though. | ||
| Let's see. | ||
| This is what he had to say. | ||
| He said, we know how that turned out. | ||
| The ratings went right down the tubes. | ||
| It's been a total disaster since the show restarted with Arnold Schwarzenegger hosting. | ||
| And I want to just pray for Arnold, if we can, pray for those ratings. | ||
| So this is prayer breakfast. | ||
| It was a dig at Arnold Schwarzenegger because Arnold Schwarzenegger... | ||
| Took a lot of digs at Donald Trump and then took over his show. | ||
| So, you know, he just throws this out there as a joke. | ||
| But that's the only thing out of this significant speech that he gave, the only thing that the media wants to talk about. | ||
| And, of course, when he talks about the tough talk, don't worry about the tough talk. | ||
| In the last couple of days, we've had a couple of... | ||
| Oh my god, he's so boring. | ||
| So boring. | ||
| This whole time, too, he has not made eye contact with the camera. | ||
| He's just like looking down at papers. | ||
| Of course not. | ||
| If you looked into his eyes, you would see the empty automaton that exists in between them. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You would just see dirty dossier. | |
| Do you remember Men in Black? | ||
| Do you remember watching that movie? | ||
| I saw it, but then there was, like, this bright flashing light. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah? | |
| And then all of a sudden you don't remember anything after that? | ||
| No, go ahead, though. | ||
| You remember how there were those aliens that, like, they cut the head open and then there's that little alien driving the human person? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Mm-hmm. | |
| That's what David Knight seems like to me. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| There's a tiny little alien inside of his head driving a David Knight bot. | ||
| I don't think you're totally wrong. | ||
| Also, I just searched on Twitter for responses to Trump's prayer breakfast speech. | ||
| I wish I hadn't looked for it. | ||
| Yeah, no, that was a terrible idea. | ||
| The only thing that came up was Arnold Schwarzenegger doing a video reply. | ||
| Like, nope, alright, nope, nope. | ||
| Don't care what he thinks about his ratings also. | ||
| What world do we live in now? | ||
| Has anybody considered that? | ||
| It's nuts. | ||
| Do we wake up every morning going like, wait, really? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| So what he's talking about, though, too, is this tough talk is calls with foreign leaders. | ||
| Like Australia's leader would be hung up on it. | ||
| All right. | ||
| So that's what he's talking about with tough talk. | ||
|
unidentified
|
All right. | |
| First off. | ||
| We have a national prayer breakfast, which I'm not cool with. | ||
| It's also not what it is. | ||
| Not cool with that. | ||
| It's also not what it is. | ||
| It's not what that is. | ||
| You hear national prayer breakfast and you just assume everyone's eating eggs and maybe saying grace. | ||
| And maybe like, hey, let's do the whole Jesus thing. | ||
| Bow your head. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Hey, shut it. | ||
| That's not what it is. | ||
| We're going to eat some pancakes. | ||
| Shut it. | ||
| We're going to eat some pancakes. | ||
| It's a weirdo group. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Right. | |
| Of largely conservatives. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| All of our presidents do it. | ||
| They've done it for a long time. | ||
| Yeah, but there was also, at this moment, there was a member of Putin's party was there. | ||
| Well, everybody got to pray. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| It's time to pray. | ||
| It's time to pray. | ||
| No. | ||
| So we got this precedent set where all of the presidents go to this dumb breakfast. | ||
| You have to. | ||
| Where they pretend to give a shit. | ||
| And look, do I think that Obama believes in religion the way that conservative Christians believe in it? | ||
| No, of course not. | ||
| Because if you did, you're fucking a lunatic. | ||
| But you also believe that he is a Christian. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| George W? | ||
| No. | ||
| Same thing. | ||
| He doesn't give a shit about you. | ||
| Keep on going back. | ||
| All of them, however, have still gone to that dumb prayer breakfast. | ||
| Yes. | ||
| All of them have pretended, at the very least, to give a shit about decorum. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yes. | |
| Trump went on stage and made fun of Arnold Schwarzenegger's ratings. | ||
| My ratings were great. | ||
| His are bad. | ||
|
unidentified
|
That is, one, hilarious. | |
| I 100% support a president doing that. | ||
| If it weren't for the rest of all the shit that he's doing, that's the funniest fucking thing any president has ever done in history. | ||
| Hilarious. | ||
| One of the things that I'm having to wrestle with more and more lately is how much it sucks. | ||
| When shit is petty in the real world, but how funny it is in concept. | ||
| Right? | ||
| Like, the concept of pettiness is hilarious. | ||
| That is so hilarious. | ||
| It's so funny. | ||
| When it has other things attached to it, it's so scary. | ||
| Imagine if we lived in the real world where Obama is doing all of the other normal stuff that he does, and then just one day he just shows up at the National Prayer Breakfast, and is just a dick. | ||
| That's so fucking funny. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| That's so funny. | ||
| But instead, it's Trump, like, immigrants can be all lit on fire, but also hilarious. | ||
| Like, it's so funny. | ||
| In order for this analogy to make sense, like, let's say Obama put out a single before he... | ||
| Before he was president, right? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And then some guy that he went to junior high with put out a single while he was president. | ||
| The Dream. | ||
| Right. | ||
| And so he goes to the prayer breakfast and he's like, look, listen, I know The Dream's got a great, great song. | ||
| Mine's way better. | ||
| It's petty. | ||
| It's so petty. | ||
| So petty. | ||
| It's hilarious. | ||
| So funny. | ||
| But it could never exist in the real world. | ||
| Except now this is the world we live in. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| Anyway, here's more boring ass David Knight. | ||
| How many hours are we into this? | ||
| I think that's the bigger story, more so than what came out of these quotes, whether or not they're true. | ||
| Now, of course, the Mexican government has denied what was leaked to the Associated Press. | ||
| The Mexican government slammed the claim as a downright lie. | ||
| Who fucking talks like him? | ||
| Donald Trump said he might send troops to Mexico if they don't take care of their problems down there. | ||
| Is this an accent? | ||
| It's an affectation, for sure. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Donald Trump might send troops to Mexico. | |
| Like, who the fuck talks like that? | ||
| Is there a regional accent there that I'm not picking up on? | ||
| No, no, no, no, no. | ||
| He sounds like an insane person. | ||
| No, it's smug. | ||
| It sounds smug. | ||
| It's very smug. | ||
| It sounds like such a... | ||
| It sounds like... | ||
| It sounds like Madonna coming back from... | ||
| Britain after being married to Guy Ritchie. | ||
| Well, you know how I was telling you a couple episodes back, whenever Alex is kind of weird, he tugs on his ear a little bit, there's that tell. | ||
| Whenever David Knight lies, his... | ||
| He just speaks? | ||
| His smugness picks up a little bit and then he laughs. | ||
| He's one of these... | ||
| Do you remember when you played bad video games? | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Like Mega Man, the early Mega Man games. | ||
| Are you saying the Mega Man video games are bad? | ||
| Not all of them, but some of the early ones. | ||
| Mega Man 2 is the fucking greatest. | ||
| But Mega Man 2, like Woodman, the pattern is super easy. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like Bubble Man, so easy. | ||
| The Robot Masters and 2, like... | ||
| Dr. Wily, yeah. | ||
| Dr. Wily. | ||
| Dr. Wily, that piece of shit. | ||
| It was super easy. | ||
| But like... | ||
| You see the patterns pretty quickly. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| With the first time you played Mega Man 2, probably not. | ||
| No. | ||
| It was the hardest game in the history of the world. | ||
| But once you got to Mega Man 7, and then you went back to Mega Man 2, you're like, oh, I get it. | ||
| I get it. | ||
| But then you go to Mega Man X, and they add all those little things. | ||
| Metaphor's going too far. | ||
| Are we going too far with this? | ||
| It's going too far. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| I just want to avoid listening to David Knight any further. | ||
| My metaphor is... | ||
| That David Knight is the first boss in Mega Man. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| And that his pattern is so fucking easy to recognize. | ||
| Right. | ||
| We all just move on. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Gotcha. | ||
| He doesn't have the shuck and jive of an Alex Jones. | ||
| Alex keeps you on your toes a little bit. | ||
| He does! | ||
| And keeps you entertained. | ||
| I have immediately... | ||
| And says wacky bullshit. | ||
| We have listened to maybe... | ||
| One minute, 45 seconds. | ||
| Three minutes including that Trump quote. | ||
| Including the Trump quote. | ||
| Nothing to respond to. | ||
| I have immediately developed way more of a respect for Alex Jones than I could ever have imagined. | ||
| Literally nothing to respond to because everything is so boring. | ||
| David Knight is the most boring human being in the history of the world. | ||
| Go. | ||
| Dirty dossier. | ||
| Dirty dossier! | ||
| What he has reported to have said, what the AP reported that he said was, you have a bunch of bad hombres down there. | ||
| You aren't doing that to stop them. | ||
| I think your military is scared. | ||
| Our military isn't. | ||
| So I just might send them down to take care of it. | ||
| He's kind of the NPR of Infowars. | ||
| That's exactly the broadcasting style I just heard. | ||
| You're right. | ||
| He's the crazy wingbat NPR. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| He's there to loop in. | ||
| The, like, really old people who think Alex yells too much. | ||
| They're like, I don't like it when Alex hosts, oh, but David's in tonight. | ||
| I like David. | ||
| I like it when I hear the same insane bullshit in a very comforting tone. | ||
| That really makes me feel good. | ||
| It's not about content. | ||
| It's about the way it's being delivered to me. | ||
| Yeah, I agree. | ||
| So anyway, dirty dossier. | ||
| That was the allegation. | ||
| Now, the Mexican government said that did not happen. | ||
| The White House has had no comment on that. | ||
| Whether or not that happened, that and what... | ||
| Let the man speak. | ||
| I'm sorry, I'm sorry. | ||
| ...with the Australian Prime Minister, or President, I don't know what his title is, he's Prime Minister, Malcolm Turnbull. | ||
| Those two... | ||
| Shouldn't you know what it's... | ||
|
unidentified
|
We both had the same thought simultaneously. | |
| If you're a journalist... | ||
| Shouldn't you fucking know? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
|
unidentified
|
You really should know that. | |
| If you're going on air, you really should know what the title of the person you're talking about is. | ||
| This has become my favorite thing for us to do now because we have no... | ||
| Like, we've just been set free from the most boring human being. | ||
| Like, we can do whatever the fuck we want now in this empty fucking... | ||
| This is Comics Unleashed. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| Just this fucking... | ||
| The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. | ||
| Listen, David Knight is the Turkish delight of hosts. | ||
| How many metaphors can we jam into this one? | ||
| There's so much more left. | ||
| How? | ||
|
unidentified
|
How? | |
| I think show what is happening with the intelligence community. | ||
| Look, we've already seen the so-called dirty dossier. | ||
| Yeah! | ||
| Woo! | ||
| term to make it sound very impressive there's nothing but political pulp fiction uh what they leaked out to try to also just a little note on the dirty dossier One of the guys who was suspected to be one of the leaks from Russia was found dead in his car. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| And a couple other people who were suspected to be leaks have been arrested by Russia for treason. | ||
| So maybe it's not bullshit. | ||
| Perhaps shortly following the election and installation of Donald Trump as president. | ||
| Almost immediately. | ||
| Almost immediately. | ||
| Also, when we're talking about a call... | ||
| With the Prime Minister in Australia. | ||
| Let's not be remiss in saying that Trump had a call with Putin that mysteriously wasn't recorded. | ||
| You know what's crazy about that? | ||
| That call wasn't recorded, and then immediately following that, there were a lot of bombs dropped on Ukraine. | ||
| Almost immediately. | ||
| Immediately! | ||
| To the point of noticeability. | ||
| I don't know. | ||
| It was like 5,600. | ||
| An insane amount. | ||
| So like the day before, zero. | ||
| Well, not zero. | ||
| We're close to zero. | ||
| Close enough to zero within the margin of error. | ||
| Yeah, but there was still conflict. | ||
| I just don't want to invalidate ourselves. | ||
| Of course. | ||
| We're not embellishing anything when we say the number is less than... | ||
| It was way less than 5,600. | ||
| The number was way less than 1,000. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And then the next day, the number was way more than 1,000. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah. | |
| I don't know if that has anything to do with each other. | ||
| It seems unrelated. | ||
| If I, you know... | ||
| Just put on my thinking hat. | ||
| I wonder if David Knight has anything to say about that. | ||
| You know, it probably has something to do with transdimensional beings. | ||
| I would actually buy that. | ||
| Yeah, if I had to guess. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Anyway, tell us the truth, David. | |
| Tell us the truth! | ||
| And of course, that's what they're trying to do with these leaks about what was supposedly said between Trump and the Australian Prime Minister, between Trump and the Mexican President. | ||
| And Trump is not a fool. | ||
| Yes, he is. | ||
| So-called dirty dossier went out. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Yeah! | |
| Yeah! | ||
| Dirty dossier! | ||
| To see who was doing this leak. | ||
| And he knew that it was coming from, he doesn't know which one, but he knows that it was coming from the intelligence community leaders that are there. | ||
| So this is a narrative that Infowars is spinning really hard, that Trump... | ||
| He like selectively fed out some information, like some false information to see who would leak it. | ||
| That's a really good, that's like a classic D&D plan right there. | ||
| It's like you give each agency some false information and you see which comes back and you're like, I know which one's leaking it. | ||
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | ||
| Smart move. | ||
| They have that story. | ||
| Not real. | ||
| No, no. | ||
| Trump is not smart enough to do that. | ||
| But that's a really smart move. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Nope. | |
| And it didn't happen. | ||
| And so he knows where this stuff is coming from. | ||
| This is the fruit, folks, of what we've been so concerned about with dragnet surveillance of the American people. | ||
| This is something that people have been rightfully concerned about since the Frank Church and the Congressman Pike hearings back in the 1970s where they realized that the CIA and the NSA were doing unconstitutional, illegal surveillance of American citizens. | ||
| Here in America without search warrants. | ||
| And they said, we've got to stop that. | ||
| So they created the FISA Act. | ||
| And we've got to stop that. | ||
| I've got to say, what they need to stop is the breathing in on mics. | ||
| I have 35. No, no, no. | ||
| I don't know what you're talking about. | ||
| I paid about $100. | ||
| It just seems like it's time for us to... | ||
| These mics cost about $100 or so. | ||
| I have breath guards on them. | ||
| No, you do a great job. | ||
| I don't think... | ||
| I listen back to these shows before I post them. | ||
| I don't think there's any... | ||
| But Jesus fucking Christ! | ||
| It's so insane! | ||
| I think it's just that there's so... | ||
| No one wants to hear breath! | ||
| There's just so little going on in his brain. | ||
| So this does... | ||
| You nailed it when you made the NPR comparison. | ||
| I remember listening to one episode. | ||
| Of your This American Life's. | ||
| I did This American Life? | ||
| Yeah, your This American Life's. | ||
| I did that? | ||
| Do you remember that one? | ||
| What? | ||
| David Knight was on it. | ||
| You went... | ||
| Oh, that does sound like... | ||
| That sounds right, yeah. | ||
| For 45 minutes. | ||
| Do you remember that one? | ||
| It was an in-depth investigation about people who can't breathe right. | ||
| Right, right. | ||
| By the way, sponsor us, This American Life. | ||
| Please. | ||
|
unidentified
|
We'd be a big asset. | |
| Also, real talk, George Soros. | ||
| If you're out there... | ||
| Give us some goddamn money. | ||
| No shit, right? | ||
| If you're the architect of what you purport to be, or at least other people purport you to be, we need you right there. | ||
| Yeah, yeah. | ||
| You need us more than we need you. | ||
| I can't keep putting up this amount of work for free when I have a nine-to-five goddamn job. | ||
| Well, we're paid protesters, though. | ||
| Oh, yeah. | ||
| We get 25 cents per... | ||
| And $50,000 a year retainer and all this bullshit. | ||
| Man, I would crush for a $50,000 a year retainer. | ||
| I legit work 9 to 5 more than that. | ||
| I work overtime. | ||
| I don't make $50,000. | ||
| You and me both. | ||
| I would protest. | ||
| No, I wouldn't, actually. | ||
| I wouldn't do that if I didn't believe in what it was. | ||
| If I didn't believe in the cause, I wouldn't. | ||
| I think we're getting down the rabbit hole here. | ||
| We need to know what David Knight has to say. | ||
| We're getting down the rabbit hole of hypothetical bullshit. | ||
| Responding hypothetically to hypothetical situations is never a good thing. | ||
| How is it that David Knight has not made it through ten words before us falling asleep? | ||
| We're so fucking bored. | ||
| Intelligence Surveillance Act to say, we're going to allow you to do surveillance, but you've got to make it foreign. | ||
| We don't want you doing... | ||
| Warrantless searches on Americans. | ||
| You know, getting a search warrant for Mr. and Mrs. Verizon, as Rand Paul said, which is what they do. | ||
| And what did they do? | ||
| They took the FISA powers, the FISA court, which is a single judge, and a government bureaucrat goes to that single judge and says, I want a search warrant for Mr. and Mrs. Verizon, or whatever they want. | ||
| And there is no publicity of that. | ||
| Pause that. | ||
| Pause that. | ||
| There is no argument on the other side for that. | ||
| That's 100% right. | ||
| I agree with him 100%. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| FISA is a fucking absolute rubber stamp court that allows them to surveil all of us all the time with no real surveillance. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Or with no real check on that power. | ||
| It is absolutely unconscionable. | ||
| I agree with him. | ||
| David Knight has nailed it. | ||
| I am about to fall asleep. | ||
| He's the most boring man in the history of the world. | ||
| I agree with you that I don't think surveillance is great. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Cool. | |
| They claim that with that FISA court, they are amending the Constitution? | ||
| Real quick, just to make this interesting. | ||
| The way we're going to make this interesting is one of us dies at the end of this quote, right? | ||
| I'm going to bet you... | ||
| We're going to bet our lives on the end of this. | ||
| I'm going to bet you a dollar. | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Over, under on how many more times he says dirty dossier. | ||
| Oh, goddammit! | ||
| I put the over, under at 1.5. | ||
| You take over or under. | ||
| Your choice. | ||
| 1.5 over or under? | ||
| I'm going to take over. | ||
| Okay, I'm going to go under. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Okay. | |
| I still think he's going to say it one more time. | ||
| And we're not even allowed to know about that? | ||
| And that goes all the way back to the 1970s hearings. | ||
| You saw them talking about the assassination gun, but what people didn't talk about was the fact that Congressman Pike, when he called the NSA in, at that point, everybody tried to pretend that the NSA didn't even exist. | ||
| They all said, NSA means no such agency. | ||
| And Pike said, I want to see your brief. | ||
| I want to see your charter. | ||
| For your organization. | ||
| They said, well, we were created by an executive order by President Truman, and no, we're not going to show that to you, Congressman. | ||
| I swear to God, I feel like we're just going to fall asleep, and this clip is going to end, and that's going to be the end of the podcast. | ||
| This is the most boring thing I've ever heard in my entire life. | ||
| This is legitimately supposed to be about phone calls. | ||
| How is this possible? | ||
| Don't know. | ||
| This man is so boring. | ||
| This is what I keep saying. | ||
| I'm worried. | ||
| I'm worried that... | ||
| This is what I keep saying. | ||
| I'm worried that we're going to become boring by pointing at, like, just being adjacent to this boring man. | ||
| Oh, it's gonna rub off. | ||
| Oh, God. | ||
| What does it feel like? | ||
| Okay. | ||
| Imagine you're married to this man. | ||
| I don't know if he's married, actually. | ||
| I have no idea about his personal life. | ||
| Doesn't matter. | ||
| We're going to do pure hypothetical improv yes and situation. | ||
| Hold on. | ||
| Let me turn around. | ||
| Get into character. | ||
| Hello, I am David Knight's wife. | ||
| I tried to turn my chair around. | ||
| It did not go well. | ||
| It did not go well. | ||
| Hello. | ||
| Do you want to go out for dinner later on this evening? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I love to take food into my mouth. | |
| What type of food do you like to take into your mouth? | ||
| Well, I love the stuff that is sustenance-based. | ||
| All right. | ||
| Sustenance-based is nice. | ||
| How do you feel about food from Asia? | ||
| Asia is a dirty country. | ||
| All right. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Wait, wait. | |
| Hold on. | ||
| Am I supposed to be more big enough than him or what? | ||
|
unidentified
|
How do you feel about food from Australia? | |
| Well, I don't like that they shut down the floor. | ||
| Oh my god, is it you, Alex Jones? | ||
|
unidentified
|
I knew I was married to you the whole time! | |
| It's Alex from Drag. | ||
| It's Alex Jones! | ||
| No! | ||
|
unidentified
|
That's a dirty dossier. | |
| Alright, here we go. | ||
| Well, the American people can't know what we're about. | ||
| You can't know what we're about. | ||
| We don't report to you. | ||
| And so now what we see here... | ||
| After decades of this, after every attempt to try to reform these people has been turned around and used against us, now these people are coming after a president who doesn't support their dark globalist agenda. | ||
| And they're doing everything they can to try to destroy him, to try to embarrass him. | ||
| But actually, when you look at these conversations that came out, it just made him look better with the people who voted for him. | ||
| Because what he's telling this Australian Prime Minister Turnbull, who, by the way... | ||
| He's a Goldman Sachs banker. | ||
| He, it just came out in the last week, contributed, I think it's like one and a half million dollars, maybe that's Australian money. | ||
| He has no idea what Australians use for money. | ||
| He has no idea what Australia... | ||
| But also, we have to assume it's Australian money. | ||
| Because he's in Australia. | ||
| If somebody said Australians use kangaroo pelts for money, he would have been like, and they translate Australian kangaroo pelts for $1.1 to the... | ||
| Yeah, no. | ||
| He has no idea what Australians use for money. | ||
| Yeah, and this also goes to the idea that, like, I mean, we talked about it just a little bit earlier in this clip, even, like, the idea that he has no idea of context. | ||
| He gets on camera and tells this story without any idea of what he's actually saying. | ||
| Like, Infowars gets really up in their head about, like, we're not using teleprompters. | ||
| Right. | ||
| We're here, we're just telling it. | ||
| And, like... | ||
| Maybe you should. | ||
| Maybe you should have some idea of what you're saying. | ||
| Like, because this clip is supposed to be about tough talk, like, telling the world leaders what's up. | ||
| So far, we don't know what Australia's currency is. | ||
| We don't know what the name of the leader is. | ||
| We know it's turnable, but we don't know his title. | ||
| We don't know exactly really what happened. | ||
| We're pretending the call with Putin didn't happen. | ||
| All this stuff is like... | ||
| The fact that you don't have a teleprompter doesn't save you. | ||
| It doesn't matter. | ||
| If he was a literate man, he would actually believe that Turnbull was the villain of the short story Matilda. | ||
| I kind of get that. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Let's get back to David Knight. | ||
| You hiccupy asshole. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| I'm sorry. | ||
| He is somebody who is pro-TPP. | ||
| He still wants to keep the TPP going, even though Trump has shut that down with America. | ||
| He is pro-open borders. | ||
| He is pro-globalist climate change agenda. | ||
| So he's there on all three of those issues. | ||
| This is a hardcore Goldman Sachs guy who is on with all three legs of the globalist agenda. | ||
| And of course, what were they talking about? | ||
| What did they have the contentious conversation about? | ||
| Well, it's alleged that they were talking about whether or not refugees, which Australia would not allow into their country, but instead our housing in Papua New Guinea, they said, well, we want you to take them off of our hands. | ||
| We don't want them in Australia. | ||
| We want you to take them off our hands. | ||
| Kind of like what Saudi Arabia is doing. | ||
| Saudi Arabia won't take any Muslim. | ||
| I 1000% agree. | ||
| I... | ||
| I'm struggling to follow along. | ||
| Every word he says makes me less interested in the word he said before. | ||
| He's insanely boring, but that last point that the fight that they had was about the Australian Prime Minister Turnbull being like, dude, dude, you've got to take some of these refugees off our hands. | ||
| I like that. | ||
| That conversation makes more sense to me than any... | ||
| Actual, like, if the conversation that was had... | ||
| You be Trump, me be Turnbull. | ||
| You should take some of these refugees. | ||
| No, no, you have it mixed up. | ||
| I'm supposed to be doing that to you. | ||
| No, but, I mean, take some refugees. | ||
| It'd be tremendous. | ||
| Wait, am I Trump now? | ||
| You're a giant piece of shit. | ||
| You're supposed to be Trump. | ||
| I don't even know. | ||
| David Knight has got both of us so bored. | ||
| You sound like a guy from the Bronx. | ||
| That's what I'm trying to do. | ||
|
unidentified
|
What are you doing? | |
| I don't know. | ||
| We're losing our minds. | ||
| This is what happens when you listen to David Knight long enough. | ||
| But that last thing he said was fucking insane. | ||
| The idea that their fight came up because... | ||
| Australia was like, take some of our refugees. | ||
| We've been doing this long enough with Alex Jones that that sounded so innocuous. | ||
| It's boring. | ||
| And believable. | ||
| No, no, no. | ||
| The believable is just a parcel of boring. | ||
| But yeah, that's what I'm saying. | ||
| It's not that it's believable. | ||
| It's so unscandalous. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Because he's not yelling it at you. | ||
| If he were reading the morning traffic report... | ||
| You would believe anything? | ||
| If he was reading, like, oh, on 1994, we have a block there, and that block is caused by Muslim refugees who are dancing around. | ||
| They are burning an effigy of Trump right now. | ||
| That is a block on 1994. | ||
| You'd be like, oh, yeah, no, that makes sense. | ||
| But he's saying that... | ||
| Australia and us fought because Australia wanted us to take some of the refugees. | ||
| Trump didn't want them. | ||
| If Alex was saying it and reading that news, he would be screaming about the history... | ||
| Of Australia being a penal colony and how they're a bunch of dicks. | ||
| Right. | ||
| You're the people that England didn't want. | ||
| Alex would have given it some flair. | ||
| Some panache. | ||
| Some fucking panache. | ||
| He's a showman. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| And David Knight is just boring the fuck out of us. | ||
| I swear to God, every moment David Knight talks, I want to murder David Knight. | ||
| There's only like another minute left of his question. | ||
| How is there still a minute left? | ||
| We've been listening to David Knight for six years. | ||
| Hopefully 40 seconds of it is the end logo. | ||
| When I was a young man, David Knight started talking in this clip. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Why are you going to die while he's still talking? | |
| All right. | ||
| Refugees, but they want us to take them all. | ||
| They want the UN to vet them for us. | ||
| He's wearing dentures, right? | ||
| Who we're going to take and how many we're going to take. | ||
| That's a dentures man. | ||
| That's what the Australian Prime Minister was doing. | ||
| And Donald Trump says, I don't care that you had this agreement with Obama. | ||
| I'm not interested in doing this. | ||
| And they went around for about 25 minutes. | ||
| Turnbull supposedly said, well, let's move on to something that's non-contentious. | ||
| And at that point, Donald Trump hung up on him. | ||
| And rightfully so. | ||
| So when they try to embarrass Donald Trump with these leaks, that is really kind of making him look better. | ||
| But the key thing here that is really dangerous is the fact that we have a national surveillance state that is now openly attacking an elected president. | ||
| In an unprecedented way. | ||
| The national surveillance state is a problem! | ||
| That was the end of the clip. | ||
| I totally agree. | ||
| Thank fucking God. | ||
| They went to the end logos. | ||
| But I totally do agree that the national surveillance state is a problem. | ||
| It is! | ||
| But it has nothing to do with what he was just talking about. | ||
| None of what he's just talking about! | ||
| No. | ||
| And, hey, let's be clear. | ||
| Let's be clear. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I never... | |
| I never want my president to hang up on a foreign leader. | ||
| I never want that. | ||
| Not even if we're dealing with a weekend at Bernie's type situation? | ||
| Like a dead person? | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Then maybe. | ||
| Because otherwise it would go on forever. | ||
| But let's imagine, so Trump, heroic president, fake Hitler in another country. | ||
| They start talking to each other on the phone. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| I still don't want fake Trump hanging up on fake Hitler. | ||
| I still don't want that to happen. | ||
| I still would rather him keep trying to make negotiations. | ||
| In the same way that, like, at my job, I gotta deal with some assholes sometimes on the phone. | ||
| I never hang up on them. | ||
| I'm always trying. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Excuse me, Mr. Trump. | |
| How do you feel about ending the lives of the Jews? | ||
| Listen, I'm not into it. | ||
| I'm not a fan. | ||
| How are you doing, though? | ||
| You're not interested in ending the... | ||
| How's your day going? | ||
| My day is well. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Did you get some good crowd in you? | ||
| I have ended the life of 20 Jews today. | ||
| How many Jews do you? | ||
| Oh, zero, but I'm... | ||
| Zero juice? | ||
| I'm cutting back. | ||
| I'm cutting back. | ||
| Are you... | ||
| My doctor says it's not good. | ||
| Smoking is a terrible addiction. | ||
| I apologize. | ||
| Listen, I'm not good at improv. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I don't... | |
| Let's not do this. | ||
| All right, all right, fine. | ||
| But still, my point stands. | ||
| I don't... | ||
| Why is it that I always play the Nazi at our improv games? | ||
|
unidentified
|
Seems like it's your preferred position. | |
| But like... | ||
| I don't think that it's good for us to shut down communication like that. | ||
| I do think that that's an offensive thing. | ||
| It is the most damaging. | ||
| But I also would say, and I think you would agree with this, if I heard that Obama hung up on some foreign leader, I would think that was fucked up too. | ||
| But see, this is why we get into trouble, is because all the time that we're listening to this... | ||
| We find ourselves constantly, not constantly, I would say occasionally, or frequently enough, agreeing with their endgame. | ||
| Like, their final point. | ||
| Like, yes, the national security system is out of control when it comes to observing American citizens and what they do, right? | ||
| 100%. | ||
| And we're against that because it can be used against citizens. | ||
| And they're against that because interdimensional beings are following us! | ||
| That's the area where we disconnect. | ||
| And that's what happens when you don't have a team. | ||
| Our biggest issue is you and I don't have a team. | ||
| When you come to the Democrat versus Republican thing... | ||
| We're going to build one. | ||
| God, we need one. | ||
| We're building it right now. | ||
| We're working on it. | ||
| I'm building the knowledge fight. | ||
| At least women are doing a way better job than we are. | ||
| I'll tell you, man. | ||
| Fuck yeah, more women's marches because I'm a giant pile of garbage. | ||
| But that's what happens. | ||
| If you don't have a team to constantly defend you... | ||
| Like, when Obama was president, there were shit tons of... | ||
| Extrajudicial killings that he had, with drone bombings and all that shit, where you're like, why? | ||
| No! | ||
| No, you murdered an innocent family. | ||
| Not just an innocent guy, an innocent family. | ||
| You killed him. | ||
| That's on you, Obama. | ||
| We're mad at you. | ||
| But if you have a team, you're like, oh, well, it's Obama doing it, so he believes it's right. | ||
| Right. | ||
| But then now you have Trump who just murdered that fucking kid with a shitty thing, and you're on that team, so you're like, oh no, he's evil. | ||
| But you just opened up a really interesting thing that I think we need to address for a second. | ||
| What hour of this podcast are we on? | ||
| 45 minutes. | ||
| Jesus Christ. | ||
| But there is a perspective from the Infowars side that they keep saying... | ||
| They're like, when Obama did these things, he didn't care. | ||
| And that's illusory. | ||
| That's not real. | ||
| When Obama did drone kill people, there were tons of people speaking out against it. | ||
| We're kind of pissed off about it. | ||
| Liberals were not thrilled with that. | ||
| Right. | ||
| That's a complete straw man. | ||
| That's absolutely not true. | ||
| Well, it's not a complete straw man. | ||
| No, because some people were cool. | ||
| It's not a complete... | ||
| Because there is an element... | ||
| But the idea that no one cared is not true. | ||
| Right. | ||
| No, I agree with you there. | ||
| But if you're playing the game as a team sport, which it seems to be that... | ||
| R versus D. It really does seem to be the overwhelming reality of what we live in now. | ||
| It's so easy. | ||
| It's that it's a team sport. | ||
| Anyway. | ||
| Ladies and gentlemen. | ||
| Jordan. | ||
| I believe this has been our first... | ||
|
unidentified
|
Have we come to any truth? | |
| I think this is our first short episode regarding David Knight. | ||
| We're in an hour. | ||
| Hopefully this will be our last episode regarding David Knight. | ||
| I hope he fucking dies. | ||
|
unidentified
|
This is boring. | |
| You get why I never want to talk about it. | ||
| Yeah, no. | ||
| This should be the end. | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| The other guys have... | ||
| Equally unpleasant, manipulative voices and tones. | ||
| Like, Paul Joseph Watson, we could do an episode about him. | ||
| You would hate him just as much for different reasons. | ||
| Like, these guys, the rest of his cohorts are terrible. | ||
| Yeah, so we do one of these episodes every now and then again. | ||
| We accidentally talked about him. | ||
| Yeah, exactly. | ||
| But now what we're going to do is we're going to find each of these guys and we're going to distill them into their essence, which in David Knight's case is a fucking ent. | ||
| From the Lord of the Rings. | ||
| How many more goddamn Lord of the Rings references am I going to have to make? | ||
| The boring-ass tree? | ||
| The boring-ass tree. | ||
| But he's a friendly tree. | ||
| Not David Knight. | ||
| No. | ||
| No, he's a bad tree. | ||
| It's a racist-ass tree. | ||
| Anyway, guys. | ||
| Thanks for joining us. | ||
| You can follow us on Twitter at knowledge underscore fight. | ||
| We're on iTunes. | ||
| We're Knowledge Fights, the podcast. | ||
| You can reach us at Gmail. | ||
| No, but before that, please also review us. | ||
| Give us a five-star review. | ||
| I'll say this. | ||
| I'm going to make a new thing. | ||
| If you give us a five-star review and email me at knowledgefight at gmail.com. | ||
| I will tweet something really ugly at Alex Jones. | ||
| I will say something at Alex Jones that I wouldn't say to my mother. | ||
| Oh, also, we should probably reveal our individual, like, I'm at Jake Mondale. | ||
| I don't want anyone knowing my business. | ||
| Good point. | ||
| Fair enough. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Fair enough. | |
| I am at and then crosstalk over that. | ||
| If you feel like isolating the audio from each of us, you may find out which one I am. | ||
| It's easy enough for them to figure out who we are. | ||
| Just in case someone randomly finds this, I have no interest in them talking to me. | ||
| He ducks the shit out of me. | ||
| I don't even know who I am anymore. | ||
| His name is Jordan Holmes. | ||
| How dare you! | ||
| Jordan's been fun. | ||
| It has been. | ||
| This one stinks. | ||
| Episode's fine, but fuck you, David Knight. | ||
| Fuck you, David Knight. | ||
| If we were drama coaches, let's give him a little bit of outro advice. | ||
| Pick it up. | ||
| Right. | ||
| Be a little more interesting. | ||
| Project. | ||
| Project! | ||
| I honestly think that's one of the only things he's doing fine. | ||
| Disagree. | ||
| Alright. | ||
| He seems like he's talking into his chest the entire time. | ||
|
unidentified
|
He is... | |
| Make it seem like you care. | ||
| Make it seem like you care. | ||
| Act! | ||
| Yeah. | ||
| Like, Alex, at least, like... | ||
| No matter what bullshit he says, at least you're like... | ||
| He might care. | ||
| Alex believes 20% of what he says and believes that he believes 100% of everything he's ever said. | ||
| Now, if David Knight believes 100% of what he says, he projects 10 of it. | ||
| That poor bastard, yeah. | ||
| What a ding-dong. | ||
| Anyway... | ||
| He sounds like he's only ever had missionary position sex. | ||
| David, if you're listening to this, I apologize that we're so mean to you, but you are a propagandist, and you're a part of a really bad system, and... | ||
| Follow us on! | ||
| I hope someday you're bankrupt. | ||
| You suck. | ||
| You're terrible at your job. | ||
| Fuck you. | ||
| We're going to edit out this last 15 minutes of that. | ||
| Not a chance. | ||
| Fuck you and your family. | ||
| Anyway, guys, this has been fun. | ||
| We'll catch you next time. | ||
| Good night. | ||
| Andy in Kansas, you're on the air. | ||
|
unidentified
|
Thanks for holding. | |
| Hello, Alex. | ||
| I'm a first-time caller. | ||
|
unidentified
|
I'm a huge fan. | |
| I love your work. |