The Trump administration’s aggressive deportation practices, whether sending alleged gang members to a notorious El Salvadoran prison or rounding up foreign students for opposing Israel’s war in Gaza, have led many pundits and others to raise the alarm about a Constitutional crisis and the evisceration of due process. But as Jimmy points out, this crisis has been decades in the making, and dates back to when Nobel Peace Prize-winner Barack Obama maintained a “kill list” and signed into law the virtual elimination of Habeas Corpus. Jimmy and Americans’ Comedian Kurt Metzger discuss why now all the President has to do is cry “terrorism” and Constitutional protections fly right out the Oval Office window. Plus segments on the recent all-women Blue Origin “space flight” and the pro-Palestinian protester removed and arrested at a Bernie Sanders rally. Also featuring Stef Zamorano!
From CS2 stand-up comedy in Los Angeles, Bakersfield, San Jose, Buffalo, Toledo, Montreal, Toronto, Ottawa, Manchester, Glasgow, Belfast, Liverpool, Birmingham, and London.
and go to jimmydor.com for a link for tickets.
Outro Music So we've all seen these headlines, right?
We've all heard about people upset about Donald Trump.
Defense, defiance and threats and deportation.
Case renewed fear of constitutional crisis.
Trump's attacks on immigrants threaten the fundamental right to due process.
President Trump's dangerous disregard for our courts and due process.
The constitutional crisis is here.
Where did it all start?
Where did this constitutional crisis start?
It started with Barack Obama, when Barack Obama started killing Americans without due process, killing them.
He killed a 16-year-old kid and he was asked about it.
Do you remember this?
There's a constitutional crisis, everybody.
It's here.
Again, maybe the Constitution is just having its period again because these crises seem to happen pretty regularly.
Am I right?
So here, how Team Obama justified the killing of a 16-year-old American.
They just killed him and they knew it.
No due process.
Far as I know, Trump hasn't killed any Americans yet without due process.
But Obama did.
And nobody gave a shit.
Nobody cared because they said his dad was a terrorist.
So that's the game.
They just say someone's a terrorist.
Now you can kill their family.
And who'd made that legal?
Obama.
Obama did that.
You want to see?
Here it is.
Asked about the strike that killed him, a 16-year-old American.
A senior advisor to Obama suggests he should have had a more responsible father.
Ooh, that's very IDF of him.
Was it because his dad was Al-Qaeda?
Yeah.
That's how they justified it.
It's funny because now Al-Qaeda is our friend that is running Syria.
Isn't that interesting?
Yeah.
Here we go.
Watch.
How will he defend the kill list?
Again, I think he's...
Just so you know, he had a Nobel Prize and a kill list.
A threat matrix, he called it.
A threat matrix.
And so they're asking, this is Obama's advisor, and they're asking him about when he killed a 16-year-old American kid.
He is happy to talk about taking a fight to Al-Qaeda, making sure that those who have pledged to do harm to people in this country and bring terror to our shores.
What we have to do to make sure that doesn't happen.
To the townhole debate.
These tapes from four years ago.
He said it's important for the president to do what needs to be done in terms of members of al-Qaeda and people who pose a threat.
Do you think that the killing of Anwarlocky's 16-year-old son who is an American citizen is justifiable?
I'm not going to get into Anwarlocki's son.
I know that Anwarlock.
I'm not going to get into the thing you just asked me about and why we killed a kid who's an American.
I'm not going to get into it.
You're not going to get into it.
You mean the thing she asked you about?
The thing that in the United States, Barack Obama killed a 16-year-old kid with no due process?
Greg.
I mean, we kill lots of kids, Jimmy.
What are you going to care about?
Why?
Here we go.
Al-Al-Locky renounced his citizenship.
His son was still an American citizen.
So he's talking about not the kid that they killed.
He's talking about the kid that they killed, what his father did.
Yeah.
So talking about his father renounced his American citizenship and was a terrorist.
I mean, we drove 90% of innocent people over there.
90% of the people.
90% of the people killed by Barack Obama's drones were innocent.
We put the guy in prison for telling us.
And one of them, and one of those people we killed, 90%, was an American citizen.
And this guy's justifying it, and he's justifying it by saying, well, Sir Obama had to kill him because his dad was a bad guy.
So he killed his kid.
Yeah, maybe next time I have a better dad.
You know, I thought like that.
I remember at the time being like, good, screw all them.
And then now that there's an al-Qaeda that we're friends with, it feels a little silly.
That kid was in the right place at the wrong time, I guess.
Here we go.
In this country and was a regional al-Qaeda commander hoping to inflict harm and destruction on people that share his religion and others in this country.
That's an American citizen that's being targeted without due process of law, without trial, and he's underage.
He's minor.
I would suggest that you should have a far more responsible father if they're truly concerned about the well-being of their children.
I don't think becoming an al-Qaeda jihadist terrorist is the best way to go about doing your business.
Robert, what's going on?
So he just said, yeah, we killed an American kid because we didn't like his dad.
Yeah, well.
We targeted him.
It wasn't accidental.
They targeted him, killed him.
And he's like, yeah, well, his dad was a jerk, so we get to kill him, his kid.
You're right.
So this all, so when you see these, so when you see this, this all started with Barack Obama, and it started in 2011 when Barack Obama repealed habeas corpus.
And what is habeas corpus, Jimmy?
A rapper?
I know you're thinking, habeas corpus, is that the name of Obama's real father in Kenya?
No.
Habeas corpus, Jimmy.
That sounds like a terrorist on the Obama death list.
No, it's not.
Habeas corpus means that they have to charge you with the crime or they have to release you.
But Barack Obama signed the National Defense Authorization Act, Section 1021, on New Year's Eve, 2011, which got rid of habeas corpus, meaning now the government can put you in prison without charging you with the crime.
So, again, all this stuff about people, all these headlines about we have a constitutional crisis.
We've had a constitutional crisis going on over 20 years, but no one cared about it then.
Nobody cared about it.
President Obama did not change the habeas corpus law directly, but he signed the NDAA for 2012, which includes provisions that affected the application of habeas corpus for certain individuals.
The NDAA allowed for the indefinite military detention of individuals, including U.S. citizens.
And all they have to do is say they suspect you of supporting a terrorist organization, which is exactly what Donald Trump is saying about those Palestinian protesters on college campuses right now.
That's exactly what he's saying about that Khalil student at Columbia.
That's exactly what they're saying about that tough student.
That's what they're saying.
They're supporting terrorist organizations.
Barack Obama was the one who made that legal because he repealed habeas corpus.
Habeas corpus, by the way, which was in the Magna Carta.
Nice.
So that's from the 1100s.
So right now, we're operating on a Liberty View from somewhere around the 1100s.
They knew that you had to, if the government was going to put you in jail, they had to charge you with a crime.
Now all they, but Barack Obama got rid of that.
They don't, the government could just put you in jail, never charge you with the crime forever, which is what kings and tyrants did, which is why we had habeas corpus.
Seems very conservative on Obama's part, more than I would have guessed from him.
So now all they have to do is say you're a terrorist and they can put you in jail forever, which is what Trump is doing.
Trump is saying we're going to deport you.
What we're going to do, we're just going to say you're a terrorist.
And who started it?
Barack Obama.
And I said this at the time, at the time I said this.
I said this was bad.
And everybody thinks it's okay because Barack Obama, pretty boy Obama's doing it.
But who's going to who's what about the next president?
The next president was Donald Trump.
So he handed this power over to Donald Trump.
And now Donald Trump is using it.
And now everybody's screaming about it.
But Barack Obama already used it.
That's why they were able to put Chelsea Manning in prison without ever charging her.
That's how they were able to kill a 16-year-old kid without any due process.
And no one cared.
But now, oh my God, now everybody's screaming because it's Donald Trump.
By the way, 90% of those migrants sent to El Salvador have no criminal record.
Barack Obama said it's okay.
Just say they're terrorists.
You don't have to charge them with a crime.
You don't have to give them due process.
Who said that?
Barack Obama.
Barack Obama did that.
He said he had reservations at a fancy restaurant, so he wanted to get this signed so he get the hell out of there.
And isn't it great?
Because as soon as Barack Obama passed this law or repealed habeas corpus, we never had to worry about terrorism ever again.
It worked.
It worked.
Isn't that great?
History will look back fondly.
Now they're writing headlines.
The Trump administration must facilitate the return of a man erroneously deported to El Salvador.
Who said that?
The right-wing, conservative, Republican-run Supreme Court said that.
Too late.
Barack Obama said it's okay.
And here they are.
So they're asking him about, hey, the Supreme Court said you have to return that guy because you didn't give him due process.
And here's what they said.
Here's Bukhali.
That's the El Salvador president.
And he's asked about this.
Can President Bukali weigh in on this?
Do you plan to return him?
Well, I guess I suggested that I smuggle a terrorist into the United States, but it's always federal.
How can I return him to the United States?
I smuggle him into the United States or what do I do?
I'm not going to do it.
The question is preposterous.
The question is preposterous.
I can't even say it.
The question is preposterous.
That's what he's saying.
Hey, are you going to return this guy that the Supreme Court said you have to return this guy?
He goes, the question is preposterous.
So that's why?
Because he's going to say he's a terrorist.
Watch.
He's a terrorist.
He just said it.
The guy's a terrorist.
And who made this okay?
Barack Obama.
But everybody loves Barack Obama.
Everybody hates Trump.
90% of the people they sent to El Salvador, no criminal record, not in the United States or outside of it.
And who made this all possible?
Barack Obama.
So if you think that it's just Trump taking away your civil liberties, you're wrong.
It's the Democrats.
It's the Republicans.
It's Barack Obama.
It's Donald Trump.
It's the Uniparty.
I don't have the power to return him to the United States.
You can release the insiders.
Yeah, but I'm not releasing.
I mean, we're not very fond of releasing terrorists.
We're not very fond of releasing terrorists.
Well, how do you know he's a terrorist?
The Supreme Court said you have to give that guy a trial.
The government just can't.
So all the government just government just could just declare, hey, this is a terrorist.
That's it.
They could say you're a terrorist.
They could say Richard Meadows is a terrorist.
They can say, by the way, when they were protesting the oil pipelines because they were going to leak, which they did, and contaminated water, they said those people were ecological terrorists.
That was formerly the most common form of terrorism before 9-11.
Actually, after the most, I looked it up because everybody's arguing who the biggest terrorist is, you know, if it was Muslims or whatever, white guys, that stupid crap.
I look it up and it was eco-terror.
And I thought that was eco-terror.
Yeah, it's property being destroyed by eco-people.
And then that's when you realize they're just imprisoning people.
The FBI, that little scam they did where they get a loser and pay them money to make up a crazy plan.
And they call you a terrorist, and so they don't have to give you a trial.
They don't even have to charge you with a crime, which is exactly what Donald Trump is doing.
He's not charging them with crimes.
He's not giving them due process.
Even though the right-wing Republican-controlled Supreme Court is saying he has to, they're not.
You know why?
Because Barack Obama didn't do it, and nobody cared.
So the precedent has already been set.
Trump's just following the precedent that Barack Obama said.
No wonder they were laughing together at that time.
And that's why at Jimmy Carter's funeral, they were giggling like kids, like pigs and shit together.
So this is the, I'll give it to you.
He signed it.
There it is.
It's a statute.
The NDAA on New Year's Eve, 2011, he signed it.
The statute contains sweeping worldwide indefinite detention provision worldwide.
While President Obama issued a signing statement saying he had serious reservations about the provisions, oh, really?
He had serious reservations about them, but he did it anyway.
Yeah, whatever.
Hey, I wasn't born here, so who gives a shit, right?
Is that what Obama said?
Come on.
I'm kidding.
We're having fun.
Well, President Obama, he said he had serious, but the statement only applies to how its administration would use the authorities granted by the NDA and would not affect how the law is interpreted by subsequent administration.
Oh, really?
Because guess how it's being interpreted by subsequent administrations?
It's called a precedent, I believe.
I think that's called a precedent.
If you're a road scholar, they teach you that kind of fancy thing.
President Obama's actions today is a this is from the ACLU.
President Obama's actions today is a blight on his legacy because he will forever be known as the president who signed a definite detention without charge or trial into law.
Unfortunately, he was not known for that.
Unfortunately, that's what happened.
He did not get a lot of press.
He's not known for that.
Why?
Because the Democrats and Republicans agreed on it.
Taking away your civil liberties.
The statute is particularly dangerous because it has no temporal or geographic limitations and can be used by this and future presidents to militarily detain people captured far from any battlefield.
The ACLU will fight World Wild Cape.
Under the Bush administration, similar claims of worldwide detention authority were used to hold even a U.S. citizen detained on U.S. soil in a military custody.
And many in Congress now assert that the NDAA should be used in the same way again.
So again, this whole idea that democracy was on the ballot was always bullshit.
You don't live in a democracy.
You live in an oligarchy and an authoritarian dictatorship or oligarchy at that.
Because they can put you in prison without a trial without even charging you.
All they have to do is say you're a terrorist.
And that's what they said about those 90% of the people with no criminal record that Donald Trump just sent to a dungeon.
90% of them, no criminal record, not charged with a crime, not even giving their day in court, even though the Supreme Court says they have to.
For the last 20 years, they've been doing this.
And dip shit liberals arguing about who's an authoritarian.
That's right.
You could just be rendit.
And they all love those shows with that girl, Claire Danes or whatever.
Yeah.
That spy show.
Extraordinary renditions.
They call them extraordinary rendition.
Every smuggler and liberal love that show about a woman having to put people a rendition.
Extraordinary rendition.
Sounds like when Liberace sings the national anthem.
The ACLU believes that any military detention of American citizens or others within the United States is unconstitutional and illegal, including under the NDAA.
In addition, the breath of the NDA's detention authority violates international law because it's not limited to people captured in the context of an actual armed conflict as required by the laws of war.
Oh, we never declared war, so it's fine.
That's right.
This is fifth generation warfare.
You know what that means?
Hearts and minds, hearts and minds.
And here I was on Joe Rogan's.
This was a couple years ago.
And I brought this up.
Barack Obama got rid of habeas corpus.
That's not important.
What's really important is that we get these trillionaires all their money for COVID.
Got rid of habeas corpus joke.
So now, I mean, habeas corpus was in the Magna Carta.
So now we're operating on a liberty view from somewhere around the 1100s.
That's what that's.
And people don't, democracy's on the ballot.
You fucking democracy hasn't been on the ballot for decades and decades.
You don't live in a democracy.
And so this was back when the ACLU still kind of gave a shit.
And now the ACLU believes in believing Amber Heard.
That's where they're at now.
So they took care of this guy.
The NDA allows the feds to put you in a van for any reason they choose, and you have no rights or recourse to fight back.
That's what Barack Obama did when he signed the NDAA in 2011.
It's designed to make everyone so scared of the possibility that they behave themselves.
We're the terrorists.
We're the terrorists.
Oh, Putin's a dictator, Jimmy.
Yeah, oh, Putin.
That's right.
So, this is from 2015.
Eric Holder's lawless legacy.
As Holder retires, Obama's Attorney General's Bulldog should be vilified, not praised.
That's from USA Today, 2015.
So not only that, he shot Nipsey Hussele.
I don't know if you know that.
Hey, I'm kidding.
Different Eric Holder.
Stop it.
That's misinformation.
He killed Nip.
Eric Holder is reaping applause as his six-year reign as Attorney General comes to a close.
But Holder's record is profoundly disappointing to anyone who expected the Obama administration to renounce the abuses of the previous administration.
Instead, they mean George Bush.
Instead, Eric Holder championed a Nixonian-style legal philosophy that presumed that any action the president orders is legal.
Holder championed President Obama's power to assassinate people outside the United States, which he did, killed a 16-year-old American citizen, including Americans, based solely on the president's secret decrees.
What does that sound like to you?
Doesn't that sound like China or Soviet Russia?
Doesn't that sound like Saudi Arabia?
Doesn't that sound like communism and Nazism?
Say that, Jimmy, but we don't have flying cars, so it can't be.
On March 6th, 2012, Eric Hohler defended Presidents Order's killings.
Due process and judicial process are not one in the same, he said.
What does that mean?
Particularly when it comes to national security, the Constitution guarantees due process.
It does not guarantee judicial process.
Yeah, due process.
The judicial part, that's the key part of the due.
Yeah, that's the part that's due to you.
That's the part that you're due.
You do judicial process.
Wow, you got to be a real piece of shit to come up with an argument like that.
Yeah, that is what Garrick Holder is.
A real piece of shit who came right from Wall Street, which is why he ended up in Barack Obama's cabinet.
Because Wall Street picked everybody that was in Barack Obama's cabinet.
If you don't know that, Julian Assange revealed that.
There was an email from Citigroup and it had a list of everybody on it.
Eric Holder was one of them.
They wanted him in his cabinet and he's in it.
And that's why nobody from Wall Street got prosecuted for crashing our economy and doing illegal money schemes and turning banking into casino hopping.
And who paid the price?
Americans.
Americans who own homes.
Finally, pay what you owe, I say.
Hey, remember Fast and Furious where they were going to trace guns?
Yeah, remember that?
That was not what that was.
They were arming spec ops to go fight cartels.
And then those spec ops took the guns and formed the Zetas, the worst cartel, the most brutal ever, because they've been trained by Americans how to be complete terrorist pieces of shit.
And they were worse than Sinaloa.
Back when Stephen Colbert wasn't a complete piece of garbage, he mocked what Obama did.
He said, trial by jury, trial by fire, rock, paper, scissors.
Who cares?
Due process just means that there's a process that you do.
Remember before Stephen, remember before Stephen Colbert was a complete piece of garbage?
He used to care.
He used to say stuff like that.
Yeah, I guess he just had better writers.
He's a writer.
Maybe he had better writers.
That's exactly what it is.
He took the better writers from Daily Show with him.
There was one guy that was pretty informed.
Everybody used to tell me about.
Like the writers, there's one guy that would watch everything and he knew all this stuff.
And so wherever that guy goes, that's where the good writing went.
But Stephen Colbert is a dumb, hollowed-out actor.
I mean, whatever you put in him is what he is.
Eric Holder has continued the tradition of previous attorney generals of exonerating government officials who commit politically approved crimes.
Though President Obama admitted that the United States government officials were guilty of torture, the only CIA official that Holder actually prosecuted was John Karakow.
He's the guy who told us about the torture.
That's the guy they prosecuted, not the people doing the torturing.
Oh, he can't do that.
That's Barack Obama.
And you guys are worried about Donald Trump.
Yeah, that's like rapper stuff.
You know, he'll never work in drill rap again after he snitched on Obama.
Holder is also complicit in the Obama administration's decision to suppress a massive amount of information about illegal interrogation practices that occurred during the prior administration.
So if you want to look at those headlines now about Donald Trump, where does he get the balls?
And we're having a constitutional crisis.
We've been in a constitutional crisis for almost two decades and no one cared.
No one cares.
I would say ever since they killed Kennedy and told you they didn't kill Kennedy.
That was the coup.
Yeah, that was the coup.
When they killed Jeff Gay, that was the coup.
And that's what all this.
Do you know the New World Order term?
The two people first to use in history and second in history to use it?
First person ever to say that phrase was Adolf Hitler.
The New World.
We need a New World Order.
The second person in history was George H.W. Bush.
Yeah.
Yes.
And so here is, they're asking Trump's press secretary about that guy, Garcia, who the Supreme Court said they have to bring back and ask, is he a terrorist?
Well, here's what she says.
Abrego Garcia was a foreign terrorist.
He is.
So that's it.
They just say he's a terrorist.
He's worse than me, too.
Did you give him a court date?
No.
Who decided he was a terrorist?
Well, we get to decide.
The government does.
The president.
That's all he has to do is say it.
Then he could kill him or he could send him to a dungeon in another country, but there's no due process.
So this is the exact opposite of what it means to be an American.
America, people always say America is an idea.
It's about liberty and our values about democracy and due process and protection from tyranny.
And now they're all screaming, yay for tyranny.
And all we have to do is say you're a terrorist because Barack Obama made it okay.
Yeah, well, terrorists is in the eye of the beholder.
They're saying, well, he's a gang member.
Well, that doesn't make you a terrorist.
Oh, did you prove that at least?
By the way, go ahead and prove it then.
He has a crown tattoo.
Is that your proof?
I see.
I bet which trials had better proof than that.
MS-13 gang member.
He was engaged in human trafficking.
He illegally came.
Human trafficking is what the Trump administration just did.
Yeah.
For money, they sent all those people to El Salvador, and El Salvador is making money off it.
Yeah.
And I'm pretty sure, Jimmy, their only reason they're doing this is to give, provide cover to the crap they're doing for Israel, which is even worse than that.
That's right.
I think it's just like, see, we're not just doing this for Israel.
We're taking all the people that are bad.
That's you're probably 100% right about that.
We're not going to second-guess any choices because that would mean we'd have to look at our Israel choices, too.
That's right.
And we're not going to do that because Batar told us who should go.
So you don't live in a democracy.
You don't live in a country where the president puts America first.
He doesn't put the con we're supposed to care about the Constitution.
You're supposed to care about the First Amendment.
They didn't care about it during Barack Obama.
They don't care about it now.
You don't live in a democracy.
You live in tyranny.
And you don't have the right to a trial.
You don't even have the right to be charged, to demand that they charge you with a crime.
They can lock you up, and they're doing it now.
Jimmy, you know what this is like?
On Last Comic, the first season of Last Comic Standing, when that guy, DatFan, won instead of Ralphie, and all these people were mad.
And they go, well, the producers get to have a vote too.
They did like an electoral college producers to install the candidate.
And back then, I had no idea that's how America works.
Literally the same as a shitty NBC reality show.
So how did this all start?
So when you see these headlines, so when you see these headlines, constitutional crisis is here.
It's been here since 2011.
President Trump's dangerous disregard for our courts and due process.
They haven't been doing due process since Barack Obama was president.
Listen, this is not a newspaper.
So this is not new.
Trump is, this is not new.
It's just the Constitution's period, Jimmy.
It comes regularly.
And there's a lot of blood and it's a mess.
Yes.
Okay.
What do you want to say, Steph?
You know, a lot of people seem to be saying crazy shit like, hey, he's illegal.
He gets what he deserves.
He was here illegally.
Or they don't really understand the nuance of if it's happening to this person, it can happen to anybody.
That's when you're not seeing the big picture.
Is he?
Do we know he's here illegally?
You're supposed to get the right-wing Supreme Court run by Republicans said that they have a right to a trial.
You have to prove that in court.
The government just can't say it.
Are you as dumb as a liberal to say something like that?
That's what you saw on as dumb as a liberal.
Because the people they deported who were here legally, legally, then the stupid thing that goes, well, you can't say anything about Israel.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
And now they're making it illegal for people on colleges to say anything against Israel, which is, which I'm going to guess is worse than saying you can't say anything about the Wuhan virus.
You know what this is?
It's rich people at the top's fight for getting into Ivy League.
Remember, too many Chinese got in, so they started limiting them.
Yeah.
And it's a fight of, because Harvard and all that crap is who gets to pull the levers of power is how they look at it.
So that's what this fight is about.
That's why, I mean, it really is like Last Comic Standing, where you go in a contest and you go, oh, I'm only against my same demographic of gender and race.
I'm not in a contest with anybody else because they're picking people for each section.
You know what I mean?
This is such a rigged game.
They fight over the rigging.
That's what all that is.
So if you don't, if you don't, so what those people are saying, Steph, is they don't care about the Constitution.
You don't give a shit.
You're just as bad as any liberal you've ever hated in your life because you don't care about the Constitution.
Well, they're being said.
You're not too.
The Supreme Court, controlled by Republicans, disagrees with you.
Because they actually have a value and they actually have a principle.
And the value is the Constitution of the United States.
The principle is following the Constitution of the United States.
And if you don't care about following the principle of the United States, you deserve to be locked up indefinitely without a charge.
Because the president's, because the president can do it.
We just got done watching dickhead liberals take away people's basic rights for nothing and make up stuff.
And you would think, fresh off of seeing that, you wouldn't immediately become everything you told me you hated.
Yep.
It don't take long, does it?
Just like that.
Okay, over stuff.
You know, and then there are other people that are like, oh, come on, Jimmy.
That's Obama.
That was 10 years ago.
Are you going to have anything to say?
No, that was 15 years ago.
Are you going to have anything to say about Donald Trump?
I just said it.
I don't even understand how you could watch this section.
It was 15 years ago.
Jimmy is saying anything about Donald Trump.
I just said it.
Accountable for the shitty things that they're doing right now.
They're not using the court system the way they should be using the court system.
And for those of you who just say, that person was from El Salvador, he should go back to El Salvador.
They still have due process.
That's the point of our country.
And you know who says that?
The Supreme Court says that.
That's not me saying that.
That's the United States Supreme Court, controlled by conservative Republicans, saying that the government has to prove that.
We have a thing called due process.
Hey, okay.
Hey, let's, I'll trade you the El Salvador guy, whoever that is.
I don't know why they're even harping on him.
How about that girl they stuffed in a van for Israel that was here legally?
She wrote an op-ed against the newspaper.
Don't forget that one because the reason they're all jabbering about this one, maybe he is a gang member, I don't know, is to make sure you don't know about that one.
If he is a gang member, prove it in court.
Like the Supreme Court said.
Where's the tattoo?
They all got a tattoo, right?
That's why I always cool with this.
If he is a terrorist, if he is a gang member, give him his day in court.
Because guess you know who says that?
The Republicans on the Supreme Court said that you have to do that.
Because that protects all of us, you fucking morons.
That's to protect you.
When I told you to protect that me too was a problem because there's no due process, right?
Oh, what do you love?
Sexual assault?
Yeah.
No, idiot.
It's because anyone can use that as a weapon.
And they did against Trump, by the way.
Remember?
Yes.
And already you've forgotten and you're like, now it's my turn.
Nobody ever wants to end the Death Star.
They're just like, there's not going to be tampons in the men's room at the Death Star.
Yeah.
That's it.
We're not getting rid of the Death Star, though.
That's going to exist forever.
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So we all saw this.
We all saw the Blue Origin ladies.
And a lot of people were saying the whole flight was fake.
A lot of people are saying that.
I say fake high.
How is it fake?
Pretending that Gail King matters?
Fake?
Being like that?
Or fake like Jeff Bezos wipes boobs fake.
Like that kind of thing.
What level on the scale of fakery is all I ask.
By the way, why is the historic Milson space rocket shaped just like a cock?
Shouldn't it?
Come on.
Those bras are so old.
Shouldn't it be shaped like a broom?
Am I right?
Come on.
Jimmy, the moon affects periods.
That's why you got to get older broads up there.
Yeah.
That's right.
On the pyramids, that's when the moon could really affect them.
That's right.
Just because they dress Katy Perry up as a Marvel comic action hero looking at it, that doesn't mean, look, there she is looking at a daisy.
That doesn't mean instead of, so she's looking at a daisy instead of looking out the window.
It's no reason to say this thing is entirely fake.
Move over Star Wars.
Here comes star narcissists.
Even when they're in outer space, they're just basically looking at themselves.
Well, what I think they did was have cameras so you could look out the window and have yourself on camera.
Yeah.
Because I don't know what people expect from an all-woman crew.
They're not going to take selfies in space.
Are you joking?
National Conservative tweeted out Blue Origin, its all-female new Shepherd flight barely crossed the Carmen line.
What is the Carmen line?
Is that like the glass ceiling for women in space?
And it says German V2 rockets went higher than this in 1944.
Sure, V2 rockets went higher in 1945, but were they shaped like a dong and filled with old ladies?
Doesn't that sound like a horrible snack cake?
Shaped like a dog and filled with old ladies.
Now from hostess I think it was just the most expensive bachelorette party in history.
Flying in a giant space dildo and laughing.
That's what this was.
It is.
That's exactly.
You ever play those bachelorette parties?
They all got dick straws?
Yes.
Yeah.
I mean, yeah.
Did you ever see?
That's why she played a dick.
You ever see Crystal Ball at a party?
Back when she was cool?
Yeah.
Back when she was cool.
So there is some actual.
So this guy, David Polak, I'm sure that's not how he pronounces it.
I actually have a brother-in-law named David Dave Pollock.
So it's David Pollock fighting the fake news with facts.
He says the Blue Origin flight with Katy Perry and other women did not really go to space like the media is portraying.
They didn't actually experience microgravity either.
Yes, technically the rocket delivered passengers beyond the Carmen line.
It did?
Okay.
I don't even know what the Carmen line is.
That's the internationally recognized boundary of space at 62 miles.
So I guess if you go out of away from the Earth 62 miles, that's the Carmen line.
And then you're officially in space.
But then he goes on and says they really just hit that point at apogee.
I don't know what apogee means.
Could you look up what apogee means?
You think I would do this before the show?
Oh, at the peak of the flight.
The apogee is a peak of flight.
That's not apex.
It's called apogee.
Apex is what I thought it was, but I don't know.
Okay.
So, okay.
Did you look it up yet?
Yes.
Kurt is correct.
Misha says Kurt is correct.
They really just hit that point at apogee.
There was no orbital insertion.
Watch your mouth.
Sexual harassment.
There was no orbital insertion.
Come on.
Not even close, Kurt.
That looked like a pretty big rocket to me.
No, I agree.
Maybe it couldn't fit in space.
Maybe.
The brief state of weightlessness during the ascent and descent was not due to escaping Earth's gravity, but because of a combination of free fall and the absence of a supporting force, similar to the sensation of being weightless at the peak of a roller coaster.
Oh, okay.
I get you.
Essentially, they were falling towards Earth, and the absence of the rocket upward thrust simulated a feeling of weightlessness.
Basically, it's a capsule launched really high, and then it immediately falls back down to Earth.
All the floating around, the drama, the Katy Perry's Girl Power BS.
It's fake.
She's not a damn astronaut.
She's a Hollywood elite who thinks she's special.
That's from David Pollock.
Wow, David's upset.
That's kind of special because I didn't get to do that.
I didn't get to do it.
Go on the free fall ride.
But here's something.
Great adventure where your pet, the penny goes off your lap.
That's what they did.
Yes.
That's all they did.
That's all they did.
So when the so when the thing landed, that's the tip of the cock right there.
When it landed, Jeff Bezos runner walking around with some special wrench that he's supposed to open the door.
But they had previously opened the door, and I'll prove it to you in a second.
But you don't even watch this.
So watch.
So Jeff Bezos, Mr. Testosterone and steroids, he's going to open it.
But it had already previously been opened.
And he even gives the game away when he opens the door.
Because listen to what he says.
Turn it up.
Kurt, don't talk.
So we have to turn up this.
Don't.
She didn't like clothes.
Thank you.
He goes, she didn't really close it again.
Oh.
Yes.
Oh, but I was really excited about him opening the door like anyone gives a shit.
Yeah, no, he didn't.
He didn't even fake that.
So they didn't know.
So here, I'll show you how when they open it you can turn it down turn it down so i don't need to hear this stupid music see they open it and then she's like no no no jeff's got the wrench close it so then they close it And then Jeff goes and pretends like he's opening it with the round.
I need to go, oh, then do you see?
So it was fake.
So there was a big ass, though.
That ain't fake.
No, he does have a great ass, though.
He's like Flanders from The Simpsons.
He got the butt implants.
Looks like he got implanted in his ass.
Sure, he did.
Why wouldn't you get the ass implants?
Come on.
I think I thought he was standing there with the wrench because it was his plot to make his wife's death look like a space accident.
The wrench was plan B. That's what that was.
I bet Oprah is just off camera holding a baseball bat if you zoom out.
So just because they didn't actually go into outer space and just because Jeff Bezo didn't actually unlatch the door, there's no reason to start becoming conspiracy theorists, Kurt.
I don't believe in the cocktip door opening.
That's about the conspiracy.
Is that what it's called?
The cocktip in space?
The cocktip, I think.
Yeah.
If you have to hold your breath while you stick your head out the window, you're in outer space, right?
So space toys.
You want to watch how obnoxious these people are?
So here he is pretending to open the door, so it's all fake.
It's fake.
She didn't really close it again.
Okay, I'm pretending that I'm the guy with the wrench that I did it.
Look at me with my steroids.
Oh, that's his wife, right?
That's his lady.
It was 11 minutes.
We see your baby.
Where are my babies?
Over here, go see you.
I'm going to guess her babies are her cats or her dogs.
Yeah, Jimmy, you don't understand.
We were trying to find a use.
This is scientific.
We're trying to see if there's a use for childless women over 40.
And sure, this time there wasn't.
But next time, there might be.
So they hit the point of apogee, but then soon they're going to be hitting the point of apology as this story unfolds.
I'll tell you that.
Wait, is apogee a bone medicine?
So there she is holding that stupid flower.
And then she kisses the ground.
Oh, God.
You just want to.
They're so obnoxious.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Amanda!
Woo!
Woo!
Oh, my God.
So do you see why ladies shouldn't go in space?
Because this is how they actively come back.
You see, this has got to be embarrassing.
Are you guys guys?
Are you guys embarrassed as females?
Tomorrow, today is this.
But tomorrow, we may have the view from space.
So they all come out.
Oh, here comes Gail.
I just have to have a moment with the ground.
Okay.
All right.
Hit her over.
Oh, my God.
Thank you, Jesus.
Oh, my God.
Why is this so repulsive?
Because they tried to sacrifice them to the gods in space, and the gods said, go back.
Oh, she's pointing.
Yeah, I didn't know where space was.
Thank you.
We went to space.
She pointed.
Yo, they do this for William Chatner.
Amazing.
I'm so proud of you.
I'm so proud of you for doing absolutely nothing.
Just taking a ride.
Okay, so that.
But I was watching Redacted.
They caught this.
Proves that it's fake.
Now, the new Shepherd is the vessel that they traveled in.
It does have a release mechanism.
We're going to watch it here.
See, they open it.
And then this lady says, no, no, not yet.
Don't open it.
Can we rewind that?
Did you see that?
Did you see that?
The new shepherd is the vessel that they traveled in.
It does have a release mechanism.
The door watches here.
See, they open it.
And then this lady says, no, no, not yet.
Don't take a run on my head for seconds.
I guess you can see that it does open for a second.
And then they're like, no, girls, no, no, stay put.
And so this is the part that people are saying was totally faked.
So see here, they go up, the girls open it, and then they have to wait.
And Jeff Bezos is holding this wrench that apparently opens.
He doesn't really need it because the girls on the inside already opened this thing.
That's right.
And so was that a camera up or is it supposed to open?
Now, again, the new shepherd does have a release mechanism from the inside in case for whatever reason the wind blew them way off course and they were put somewhere that the rescue vehicles couldn't open and they were stuck in there starving no water in a bathroom right then they could open it from the inside so they had already opened it but then why is he standing there with that wrench is that just a photo opportunity uh oddly enough i did ask chat gpt about there because i loved it okay so here so anyway there it was again but here she makes another observation they had four minutes total in space that's 240 but they used at least a quarter to a third of it taking selfies and
playing with toys.
So you have to think to yourself, if I have four minutes total in space, am I going to F around with a camera and these toys and this girl's shot?
If you're a girl, I guess.
I guess.
So in space, now everyone can hear you scream, apparently.
Did you see the video where they're all screaming?
You just hear them screaming from the rocket?
One, two, three.
Take up space!
Oh my.
god take up space okay let's lay out there i would just be snapping so she's not looking out so they're half the time they're not even looking out the window they're only in space for four minutes she's looking at the camera they're looking at each other look at my daisy isn't there a window that that camera's above or am i wrong about that because i thought the windows went all around with her looking at Each other, like what the hell?
Yes, at each other, which they've been doing for months in preparation for this.
Look at me.
Oh, the moon.
You guys, I have to tell you, look at the moon.
That's amazing.
Wow.
Look at the blue line.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
That's our key moon.
Clean my ass.
Okay.
See, they're not even looking out the window.
240 seconds.
That's all you have in space.
And then you're coming back.
Look what they're told.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
That's amazing.
Let's play a whole game of checkers.
Let's bring up a whole bunch of pieces.
Oh, it's time to go down now.
Oh, shoot.
I'm so sorry that I messed around with these ladies that I'm not even close.
They didn't even make out yet.
They make out.
Now, when they say you go, girl, they mean they really want you to go.
That's it.
Healthy to any size in space.
When you think of the four most brilliant women who should be going to space, aren't they them?
Gail King, Katie Perry, Jeff Bezos's piece.
And of course, Jeff Bezos is peace.
So, but they actually are so smart that if someone were to knock on the door in outer space, they'd answer it.
That's all I'm saying.
Wait, they already opened it.
Was there a knock on the door?
So, Tim Peake says there's been a lot of comment about Blue Origins flight this week.
I'm in amongst the noise and media attention given to some of the more well-known passengers.
It's important to highlight that on board there were two incredible STEM ambassadors.
They still look like they're dressed up to go on Battlestar Galactica.
Yeah.
I mean, this still looks like they're either AI-created or I'm going to guest trans.
I'm just working with the data I have.
What is this?
Aisha Bowie is an award-winning STEM person.
And then they're the other person.
I don't think I got it.
What is a STEM STEM ambassador?
A STEM is that science term.
What does STEM mean?
You're an ambassador to what?
Stupid chicks?
STEM isn't it?
Science?
Let's see what it is.
Science, technology, engineering, and mathematics.
Science, technology, engineering, and mathematics.
There you go.
Well, guess what?
Most of that is girls screaming, we it was a great ambassador message to young girls.
I think it's impressive at their age.
They still have the energy to go, woo, whatever, however, they did it.
Yo, steroids is real.
I mean, we live in an age of 70-year-old butterfases.
It's really amazing.
Like nice butter phases, dude.
You know, the entire launching women into a giant phallus, that's a win for guys.
How do they not see through this?
The entire mission is designed basically for Comic-Con nerds to masturbate to.
I don't think that's what they're masturbating to.
No?
I mean, I'm sure that's what they were going for with the marketing angle.
By the way, so I just want to let you look, but it does look like a PP, but all the so all these, again, Jeff, all these people who scream that you got to you got to eat bugs because of climate change.
You got to have an electric stove.
You got to drive an electric scooter.
You don't get to travel anymore because of climate change.
And Jeff Bezos is leading and all those people, Gail King, all of them, are screaming about climate change.
Guess what?
So that's basically space tourism.
Did you know that the carbon footprint of launching yourself into space is a hundred times higher than if you took a long-haul flight?
Well, a study from 2010 found that the soot released by 1,000 space tourism flights could warm Antarctica by nearly one degree Celsius.
So again, it's rules for you, but not for the rich people.
Well, they buy carbon offsets, Jimmy.
I'm pretty sure Oprah gets a lot of extra carbon offsets from child trafficking.
I don't buy.
By the way, I don't believe that study that it's going to warm the.
From 2010, back when the other wrong studies happened.
We were out of polar bears and bees.
I believe that study even less than I believe that those space women are a crew.
That's more of a ride at Epcot.
That just went really high.
That's all.
Here's a lady.
Here's a liberal lady who's upset about it.
She's going to let you know.
No, I don't respect the women that went into space today.
She doesn't respect them.
I don't respect you at all.
No.
You ought to be ashamed of yourselves.
Oh.
With everything that's going on.
This is what you think is important.
Yes.
Space tourism.
How much does that cost?
I don't know, $400,000 a person.
I don't know.
Did they even pay?
Was it paid for them?
And that's just to fly, not what it costs to launch the rocket and go up and come back.
I'm disgusted.
This is what they're celebrating.
What the news is showing today.
It's pathetic.
And I just, how can you do that with what's going on right now?
How can you cheer that?
How can you even think that that's a good thing to do?
It's total self-centered bullshit and a complete waste of money when you could spend that to help someone for 11 minutes, an 11-minute ride.
Wait, wait, it's going to give me a lot of people.
How cool are you, right?
No, you're self-centered bitches.
Oh, that's women on women cry.
Oh, bitches.
Women on women cry.
She's jelly.
That's called being jelly, Jimmy.
I think she's jelly.
How can you do that with everything that's going on?
Do I have to explain how white flight works to a liberal?
Hey, lady, you don't live in the hood, do you?
I bet you moved out of the hood when you could.
Think that Bernie Sanders is your savior of civil rights or gives it or is going to stand up to oligarchy or is going to stand up.
He's a liar.
He's there to, again, to perpetuate this left-right charade.
Right.
That's what he's there to do.
He's there to keep you, and he knows it.
And he's there to people.
He's there to sheepherd you into the Democratic Party, and he's there to get money from you.
He's there to keep you donating money to the Democratic Party machine, which doesn't give a crap about your civil rights, doesn't give a crap about your health care, wants to keep 900 military.
When is Billy Bernie Sanders going to say we need to get rid of those 900 military baits?
Never, never.
And he'll never stand up for the least amongst us because right now, there's a guy at a Bernie Sanders at a lefty fight the oligarchy, fight Trump rally.
And all he did was put up a Palestinian flag and they had him arrested.
You want to watch it?
And here's Nick Cruz from a revolutionary blackout network to tell you about it.
Bernie Sanders and AOC gets anti-genocide protester arrested for advocating for a free Palestine.
That's at an AOC Bernie Sanders rally.
They're having a free Palestine protester arrested.
Do you hear the booze?
Because that sucker who went in there, he's the only guy who's not paid to be at that rally.
That's right.
We all know they're being paid, except for chumps like this who actually thought he could protest there because people found from cell phone data found the same people went to the same rallies all across the country.
You get a Democrat.
This is George.
That's right.
This is George Soros.
This is AstroTurf.
In America today, we have long made love.
We have long made love.
So now people start chanting Free Palestine.
Bernie Sanders ignores it.
Is it overwrested?
People want to know that this is a sensitive issue, something like helping me in the office.
Bernie Sanders in AOC plans to resist Donald Trump and fight the oligarchy by joining the police state to crack down on anti-genocide protesters.
Another example of how social democracy is just a moderate wing of fascism.
The crazy thing is that the protester wasn't even interrupting the event.
They simply had a banner that said free Palestine.
Something you would never hear Bernie Sanders say.
Israel has the right to defend itself against the terrorist attack.
Israel has the right to defend itself against terrorism.
The crazy thing is this crowd is filled with Democrat supporting normies, but they boo the police who arrest the pro-Palestine protesters, even chanting free Palestine as the police escorts them away.
This is the exact moment if Bernie Sanders wasn't a shameless Zionist sellout where he should say we shouldn't be arresting pro-Palestine protesters.
We should be arresting Benjamin Net and Yahoo!
*Applauds*
The crowd would have went wild.
Too bad that Bernie is too much of a Zionist sellout cut to do such a thing.
He needs to read that Twitter account to know Bernie is in no position to be making demands about anything.
Matt Kennard, friend of the show, says Bernie is a liberal Zionist.
No progressive movement can be led by someone with these politics.
It destroys everything it touches.
So there it is.
There's Bernie Sanders being completely mask off moment.
He's going to fight Donald Trump by joining with the police state to arrest people who are protesting for a free Palestine.
He's for the Ukraine war as well.
And he's for the Ukraine war as well.
Bernie Sanders is a garbage person.
He's a garbage politician.
Bernie Sanders is garbage, if you don't know that by yet.
I have a hard time believing because if people are booing that they arrested the guy, I assume they're booing the guy because they're paid shows.
No, but they weren't chanting Free Palestine because they don't know that the guy that they're there to see supports that.
It supports the police state.
Did they learn there?
No.
Did they learn at that event where you saw it happen?
We saw it happen.
No.
Yeah.
So this is exactly why I go so hard against Bernie Sanders and AOC.
Why?
Because political reports, Ocasio-Cortez raised $9.6 million in three months, smashing her own record.
The working class cannot afford to waste another $400 million on Democratic Party sheepdog operation that leads nowhere.
Well, they're going to do it.
Unfortunately, Nick, I hate to break it to you, but they're doing it.
They're in the process of doing it.
And it's under the guise of fighting Donald Trump.
But they're not fighting Donald Trump.
They're on board with all of it.
Bernie Sanders and AOC want to waste working class money that could be spent on mutual aid and actually building a socialist third-party alternative.
They are extremely nefarious and play a very important role for the establishment.
Exactly.
My advice would be stop using the word socialists, Marxists, all that stuff, because they've been supercharged against you.
How about a working-class third-party alternative?
How about that?
How about a working class?
Because people equate socialism with what the cops just did.
That's what people think it is.
How about a working-class party?
What's that?
The not-lizard people party.
Because that's what people think it is.
People love socialism when it shows up in their life.
They love fire departments.
They love public schools.
They love public universities.
They love highways.
They love roads and streets and stoplights and traffic lights.
They love libraries.
People love socialism when it shows up in their life.
They love when an ambulance shows up at their house.
They don't know that that's socialism.
So just talk about a working class party.
How about that?
A party that brings people together from the left and the right around class structure, class issues with a class analysis.
That's what we need.
And if you keep calling it socialism, it's a loser because people equate socialism with what the cops just did to that Palestinian protester.
And you're not going to win that fight.
You're going to lose that fight over and over and over and over.
You're going to lose that fight.
And I'm not saying this to Nick.
I'm saying this to everybody.
It would behoove you, just like I was when I talked to our Irish friend.
Stop calling yourself a Marxist because people equate that with Nazism, with communism, with authoritarianism.
That's what it is in people's head.
Call yourself, you're fighting for workers' rights.
And also, don't be authoritarian.
That's another thing that might help some.
Another thing that might help is not ever being authoritarian.
People love it, though.
I don't see them not doing it.
People love to get in and then being like, the ones I don't like now, they're not going to get.
And I was so keyed into a revenge from Trump.
Like I said, I'm still mad he didn't execute Liz Cheney.
I'm still upset about it.
I didn't know they're going to just grab people with no explanation.
I thought there was going to be some kind of transparency.
I mean, it wasn't.
If they're on the right side, why not respect the?
I thought those were the people who were going to respect the Constitution.
I thought Donald Trump was all about the Constitution.
We're going to respect it.
No.
So they did lawfare against Donald Trump, and then Donald Trump turns around and does lawfare against everybody else.
Well, maybe it's a secret Q plan.
But he does it at the behest of Israel.
Anyway, that was a great thing.
It's a secret plan.
But I feel like you shouldn't get to have secret plans.
You know, like, sure, I'd like to believe the pie in the sky that this is some top secret 5D chess he's pulling.
But why are they allowed to have these secrets like that ever again after have you been abused with secrets your entire life living in this country?
Just by virtue of living here is like abuse with secrets.
But how do you know anything about Israel?
Have you ever been there?
No, just my money.
What?
Sorry.
You've never been.
You've never been.
I've never been.
No.
You've never been.
Oh.
Oh.
You've never been to the checkpoints.
Why are there any checkpoints, Douglas?
Why did you write a book called Why We Need Neoconservatism?
If I had known that way back, did you know he wrote that book?
No, I did not know that.
2006's Why We Need Neoconservatism.
So think of him telling Dave Smith not to take those wars personally.
And that dickhead was part of that.
For some reason, that doesn't get brought up, but I think he's not an expert in anything.
He's not.
He's got an undergraduate degree in English, Douglas Curry.
He's not an expert.
He's not a historian.
He's not a this.
He's not a that.
He's nothing.
He's a blowhard.
He gets funded by the Zionists.
That's what he is.
Have you been to the archives?
Have you been to the archives?
The archives is like a gay club in London, I think.
When were you not there at all?
I've never been.
You've never been.
Okay, we got to have our guest done.
Why would I go to that hellhole?
Can't my money just go and pay for them to make hell on earth, Douglas?
Yeah.
Is that not courteous enough that I have no power over if they spend my money doing that from either party?
I think that's courteous of me.
You'll never be.
Hey, become a premium member.
Go to jimmydoorcomedy.com.
Sign up.
It's the most affordable premium program in the business.
Oh, All the voices performed today are by the one and only the inimitable Mike McRae.
He can be found at mikemcray.com.
That's it for this week.
You be the best you can be and I'll keep being me.
