Bill Maher Gives Up Trump Derangement Syndrome For One Night!
On Friday’s episode of Real Time, host Bill Maher opened up about a surprising meeting he had last week with former President Donald Trump at the White House. Maher said the encounter was far more cordial and humorous than he ever anticipated. “You can hate me for it, but I’m not a liar. Trump was gracious and measured,” Maher said. “And why isn’t that in other settings—I don’t know, and I can’t answer, and it’s not my place to answer. I’m just telling you what I saw, and I wasn’t high.” During the meeting, Maher brought along a printout of Trump’s past insults directed at him. Surprisingly, Trump took it in stride and even signed it with what Maher described as “good humor.” Jimmy and Americans’ Comedian Kurt Metzger discuss the hype surrounding Maher’s visit to the White House and whether the Real Time host was merely charmed by Trump the consummate politician. Plus segments on actor Michael Rapaport whining that his pro-Zionist activism has cost him work in Hollywood, Glenn Greenwald schooling Megyn Kelly on the first amendment and Bernie Sanders mysteriously dropping his talk of the threat of oligarchy during the Biden presidency. Also featuring Mike MacRae and Stef Zamorano. And a phone call from Liam Neeson!
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Hello, this is Jimmy.
Who's this?
Jimmy, my old friend.
This is Liam Neeson on the phone.
Oh, friend of the show, Liam Neeson.
What a surprise.
How are you, Liam?
I am doing very well and pleased to be speaking with you, my ancient comrade.
For the tie that links you and me goes back thousands of years.
It's a bond that no one outside our kindred could ever.
I'm glad you and I will always share that, Jimmy.
Yeah, are you talking about being Irish?
As I mean, I've told you that I mean, I don't really put a whole lot of stock in that kind of stuff.
Oh, of course not, Jimmy.
You have too much filthy Polar blood in you for me to consider you a fellow countryman.
I am talking about the ancient bonds of comedians.
What?
Jimmy, as far back as the Roman Empire, we were exiled, harassed, persecuted.
For the emperor knew that a man who spoke truth to power was more of a threat than a thousand Parthian warriors.
Speak truth to power.
Liam, you make movies where you beat up terrorists 10 at a time.
There was a time when I did make those films, yes.
But now, I am starring as Lieutenant Frank Drebin in the new reboot of The Naked Gun.
No, Jimmy, that's not a joke.
Jimmy, one of the most beloved comedy franchises of all time has been revived and placed upon my broad shoulders.
I am a comedian and part of that special brotherhood, special bond, etc.
I've always suspected you and I were cut from the same cloth, Jimmy.
Now I know it's true.
Wait, is this real?
As real as the Holy Spirit, Jimmy.
you really have to stop learning about upcoming films from the comedy segments on your own show Okay, but this doesn't suddenly and automatically make you a comedian, Liam.
Not like I am.
Jimmy.
What?
Close your eyes.
What?
Why?
Just do it.
All right, fine.
The year is 1996.
It's a Friday afternoon.
You wish to rent a video cassette for the evening.
You enter a blockbuster video.
A thriving business at that point in time.
You've decided on renting the 1988 classic The Naked Gun.
Now the question remains: where is the subject?
You start looking in various sections.
Adventure?
No, it's not there.
Drama?
No.
Horror?
No again.
You can open your eyes to read the line.
All right, I get it.
What section do you find The Naked Gun in?
Oh, look at that comedy.
Section entitled Comedy.
But don't know the tape isn't there, just the box.
Someone has checked it out.
Because eight years after its release, it's still one of the most beloved comedies ever made.
Famous for being a comedy.
So you choose a backup film and you choose poorly.
This starts a chain of events that eventually leads to the dissolution of your marriage.
Yes, Liam, the naked gun is a comedy movie.
I'm not disputing that, but you starring in this movie doesn't make you a comedian and certainly not a stand-up comic like I am.
I don't claim to be an actor.
You shouldn't claim to be something you're not either.
All right, close your eyes again.
We're going back to Blockbuster.
All right.
No, I'm afraid we're just going to have to agree to disagree here.
Fair enough.
So we shall.
But don't worry.
I shan't be wearing the comedy mantle forever.
My dream project, which is very far from a comedy, may be in the near future.
Oh, yeah, what's that?
Jimmy, there is a genetics company in Austin, Texas, whose mission is to revive extinct species.
And they've done their first one.
Jimmy, for the first time in over 10,000 years, a young dire wolf walks the earth.
Yeah, that doesn't sound like a good idea.
Oh, by no means a terrible idea, but a good movie plot.
I'm sure you'd agree.
This company plans next on cloning a woolly mammoth.
Okay, that's bonkers.
That's what that.
What does this have to do with anything, by the way?
We have a show to do, Liam.
Jimmy, you and long-standing listeners of the Jimmy Dore show may be aware, perhaps, of the longest-running joke we have, which is that one of Liam Neeson's upcoming films is called Tusk Breaker 2, Rise of the Mastodons.
And in said film, I fight resurrected Mastodons on the tundra.
My God.
That's right, Jimmy.
Thanks to this Austin-based tech startup, the premise of the film, and therefore the possibility of its existence, is now not just a silly joke, but a deadly serious reality.
You're going to make Tuskbreaker?
There's no time, Jimmy.
We skip right to Tuskbreaker 2, Rise of the Mastodons.
We're going to have to fight Mastodons, which we can get away with if we make it a comedy.
You would make the woolly mammoth fighting a movie a comedy?
Well, why not?
I'm a comedian, aren't I?
Oh, Jesus.
Jimmy, a good comedian can take a topic that is inherently unfunny on its face, be it poverty, disease, or a looming Mastodon threat, and make that topic funny.
That is comedy wisdom that I am glad I have the opportunity to impart to you today.
Oh, brother.
I would be happy to tutor you in the comedic arts further, but I would require payment.
Are you teaching a comedy class right now?
Is that what you're selling?
Jimmy, Mastodon movie will be expensive.
I will need money to front it and to finance it.
Forget it, Liam.
You're a great actor, but I'm a veteran comic and you're not.
All right, go scam some open micers if you need money.
We have a show to do.
Goodbye.
But wait!
I haven't explained what the Rule of Three is yet!
*laughs* *Ezzy music*
Establishment media sucks, all gaslighting, so good luck, bullshit we can't afford, he's fomenting this, oh, watch and see as his jack-off, the median speeds and jumps the medium and hits them head on, it's the Chimitor Show.
Chimitor Show.
Bill Maher and Donald Trump had a dinner.
They had a powwow.
Finally.
Yeah.
Remember that?
Never had a dinner.
Anyway, that was red buttons.
That's an old, I'm going back decades.
Maher praises gracious and measured Trump after White House visit.
This just happened.
Did they bond because both of them are ready to deep throw Benjamin Nett and Yahoo at a moment's notice?
Is that what happened?
That's what I heard.
That's what I heard.
That's the word I. So this is from the Vigilant Fox Puzz.
He got these clips.
So on March 31st, Marr met Trump at the White House, arranged by his friend Kid Rock.
It turned out to be surprisingly warm, candid, and friendly one-on-one conversation.
So let's watch this.
As you know, 12 days ago, I had dinner with President Trump, a dinner that was set up by my friend Kid Rock, because we share a belief that there's got to be something better than hurling insults from 3,000 miles away.
And let me first say that to all the people who treated this like it was some kind of summit meeting, you're ridiculous.
Like I was going to sign a treaty or something.
I have no power.
I'm a fucking comedian, and he's the most powerful leader in the world.
I'm not the leader of anything, except maybe a contingent of centrist-minded people who think there's got to be a better way of running this country than hating each other every minute.
So I share his conviction there.
When you are, when your politics are filled with hate, that's exactly what the deep state and the WEF and the globalists and the bankers and Wall Street and the military-industrial complex wants.
They want you turning on your neighbor and hating half the country.
And shame on you for falling for it because that's called divide and conquer.
Okay, so here we go.
So I agree with him on that.
Thank you.
So, okay.
I think Bill and I are shopping at the same glass eyewear store, by the way.
Oh, look at that.
Look at that.
Don't meet up in person.
Maybe it'll be different.
Spoiler alert, it was.
First good sign before I left for the Capitol, I had my staff collect and print out this list of almost 60 different insulting epithets that the president has said about me.
Things like stupid, dummy, low-life dummy, sleazebag, sick, sad, stone cold, crazy.
Really a dumb guy.
Fired like a dog.
His show is dead.
60.
I brought this to the White House because I wanted him to sign it.
Which he did.
Which he did with good humor.
And I know as I say that, millions of liberal sphincters just tightened.
Oh my God, Bill, are you going to say something nice about him?
What I'm going to do is report exactly what happened.
You decide what you think about it.
And if that's not enough, pure Trump hate for you, I don't give a fuck.
So what's interesting here is that this is what he should have did 10 years ago in 2017 when Trump didn't know what he was doing.
He was an accidental president.
He didn't have a real agenda.
The worst thing about him was that he parroted the immigration policy of guys like Bernie Sanders, Hillary Clinton, and Bill Clinton.
That was the worst thing about him at that point.
Now he's actually doing stuff.
Now he's actually bombing Yemen, threatening war with Iran.
He's going to ethnically cleanse Gaza.
He's clamping down on the First Amendment.
He's writing laws to curtail your free speech at the behest of Israel, a foreign country.
But now, but now back when they were coming at him over Russia Gate, which was completely invented, which was completely a fraud, hoax, conspiracy theory that was made up, that's when you should have been doing that.
That's when it could have been helpful.
Anyway, but at least I guess he's doing it now.
Here we go.
Bill Maher continued to explain he was stunned to see Trump treat him warmly.
Here we go.
And he gave me a bunch of hats, but he didn't ask me to take a picture in one, which I appreciated.
The guy I met.
By the way, when he says there's got to be something better than hurling insults, was that something was that something the Gaza genocide?
Because I hear that was terrific.
You're going to love this genocide.
May do you see it.
Where do you see it?
Okay.
And he gave me a bunch of hats, but he didn't ask me to take a picture in one, which I appreciated.
The guy I met is not the person who the night before the dinner shit tweeted a bunch of nasty crap about how he thought this dinner was a bad idea and what a deranged asshole I was.
I read it and thought, oh, what a lovely way to welcome someone to your house.
But when I got there, that guy wasn't living there.
Now, does Trump want respect?
Of course.
Who doesn't?
My friend said to me, what are you going to wear to the White House?
I said, I don't know, but I'm not going to dress like Zelensky.
tell you that.
Thank you.
Just for starters, he laughs.
I've never seen him laugh in public, but he does, including it himself.
And it's not fake.
Believe me, as a comedian of 40 years, I know a fake laugh when I hear it.
And I thank you for that.
So this is my...
Zelinsky wore a Ukrainian tuxedo, they call it.
It may not have been a summit, but it is the end of the oldest, whitest, non-rap beef of all time.
They finally settled their beef.
They settled their beef.
So here he is summarizing the meeting.
And I don't remember exactly what we were talking about, but it must have been something with the 2020 election because I know he used the word lost.
And I distinctly remember saying, wow, I never thought I'd hear you say that.
He didn't get mad.
He's much more self-aware than he lets on in public.
Look, I get it.
It doesn't matter who he is at a private dinner with a comedian.
It matters who he is on the world stage.
I'm just taking as a positive that this person exists because everything I've ever not liked about him was, I swear to God, absent, at least on this night with this guy.
Bob, Kid Rock, told me the night before, he said, if you want to get a word in Edgewise, you're going to have to cut him off.
He'll just go on, not at all.
I've had so many conversations with prominent people who are much less connected, people who don't look you in the eye, people who don't really listen because they just want to get to their next thing, people whose response to things you say just doesn't track like, what?
None of that with him.
And he mostly steered the conversation to, what do you think about this?
I know.
Your mind is blown.
So was mine.
There were...
There were so many moments when I hit him with a joke or contradicted something and no problem.
At dinner, he was asking me about the nuclear situation in Iran in a very genuine, hey, I think you're a smart guy.
I want your opinion sort of way.
And I said, well, obviously you're privy to things about it.
I'm not.
But for what it's worth, I thought the Obama deal was worth letting play out because we made Iran destroy 98% of the uranium and they were 15 years away from Obama.
And then I said to him, but we got rid of that.
You got rid of that.
He didn't get mad or call me a left-wing lunatic.
He took it in.
I told him I thought parts of his plan for Gaza were wacky, but that I had supported him in the idea that Gaza could be Dubai instead of hell.
I told him he was wrong when he tweeted the night before that I was critical of all things Trump.
Not true.
Check the tapes.
Check the tapes.
He said, I don't need to see evidence to know Trump's a traitor, was a quote I directly remember him saying.
Yeah, whatever.
I mean, up until five seconds ago, he was saying that Trump was a traitor to our country, and he was in bed with Russia and Putin, and he was a puppet.
And I mean, he was even after the last election, he was saying that.
He still believed in Russia Gate.
So you're going to have a dinner with a guy who you think is a legit traitor to our country, who's working against our own country at the behest of another one.
He is.
It's just not Russia.
It's Israel.
But you agree with that?
That's what our country means.
Our country meant Israel.
Oh, that's it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because now I realize, first of all, Jimmy Fallon, is he going to get a pardon for touching Trump's hair that time?
He has to play patty cake forever now.
So Turock and Bill Maher and him came together and they all, oh, let me guess.
You all came together on, yeah, Israel.
I mean, Israel's consolidating its assets now.
So he had the Michael Rappaport journey where Michael Rappaport was like, I hate to say it, but I might vote for big Donald Trump.
Yeah.
Remember that?
Yes.
That's what Bill just had.
Yeah.
And that's why Michael can't get work, Michael Rappaport, is because he didn't vote Kamala.
That's right.
He was an early adopter of Zionist.
That's right.
Yeah.
I didn't realize until I watched this.
Yeah, that's what it, you're right.
I just wish I would have thought of it in the Michael Rappaport segment.
It's because he supported Trump.
That's why.
That's right.
I mean, what could bring everyone together?
I knew the death of Woke was October 7th because that's when all these identity groups that were trying to get this level of like Israeli control over your speech patterns.
And then it was like, nope, the first wife, we're getting back with our first wife, Israel.
Whatever she says, we have to do, you know?
Yep.
So Barr then said he felt more comfortable speaking with Trump than, oh, let's listen.
Let's listen to him saying it.
I never felt I had to walk on eggshells around him.
And honestly, I voted for Clinton and Obama, but I would never feel comfortable talking to them the way I was able to talk with Donald Trump.
That's just how it went down.
Make of it what you will.
Me, I feel it's emblematic of why the Democrats are so unpopular these days.
Well, so I heard the dude dissonance fellas make this point, and it's because Trump was always touted as a business genius and a political novice, but it's the exact opposite.
Trump's really great at politics.
He knows how to make people feel comfortable.
He's good at gladhanding.
He's good at remembering your kids' names and all that stuff that makes you feel good.
Like, oh, I feel heard by this important, powerful person.
Keith Oberman used to say that about him because they lived in the same building.
Keith Oldman lived in his building in New York.
And he would see him on the elevator.
Hey, Keith, how you doing?
And how's this?
And so it's kind of the exact opposite.
He's really, I mean, I don't know how bad he is at business.
He is a billionaire.
He does have his own jet, for F's sake.
Yeah, what does business mean to people?
I remember the big criticism was he's not really a billionaire.
He's lying and saying he is.
He's not quite there.
I was like, wow, that's what you're.
So?
He's only worth 900 million like Jerry Seinfeld, the most successful TV star in history.
What a loser.
What a loser.
He's going to be on the bottom with the rest of us, liar.
But he is genuinely worth billions of dollars.
You can make a deal where you suddenly, you have complete lawfare from the United States government.
Next thing you know, your truthsocial.com stock is off the charts.
You're probably a good, effective dealmaker, I would say.
Yeah.
All right, let's listen to the rest.
He was even okay when I checked him on the orangutan.
Wall suit.
Thank you.
He was.
Thank you.
I know.
He said to Dana White, you know, Bill said my father was an orangutan and I really love my father.
And I said, well, Mr. President, I did that because I didn't like what you were doing regarding Obama's birth origins.
I thought that was low.
Again, no anger, just a little smile as if to say, yeah, I get it.
He was saying you haven't heard that his birth certificate is fake, idiot.
You still haven't heard he wasn't born here.
It turns out that I 100 percent don't think he's born here.
And I always thought Trump was an idiot.
That's the thing I really thought Trump was an idiot about was that.
Well, it's just funny.
I've never heard of a long form birth certificate until Barack Obama got elected.
Everybody acted like they talk.
They've said that term their entire life.
Oh, what about his long, long form birth certificate?
Well, here's the mind blowing part to me.
The official government website where they put his birth certificate up.
Some guy, there's still they left Photoshop artifacts in it.
Do you know how crazy that is?
No.
On the official?
Yeah.
Really?
I'll send it to you.
Rogan sent it to me.
The guy who he demonstrates it and he and the guy's discovering it himself.
And he's you could tell he did not see this coming.
This dude freaks out while he's like, well, I would think.
I can't.
Why would you have the artifact?
One of the funniest things I ever saw.
And I'm like, oh, of course, because Obama was raised to be a CIA puppet president, just like George W. Bush was a Manchurian.
In fact, I'll bet Bill Maher gets a Manchurian candidate phone call from Bibby Malkowski.
Now Trump is your friend.
Yeah.
Hang up.
Yeah.
That's my guess.
I wouldn't doubt it.
So here's here's his final piece.
The most surreal part of the whole night was when I got home.
I flew back right after the dinner and I'm in bed watching 60 minutes from the night before.
And there's Trump in one of their stories standing at a podium in a room that looked to me like one of the rooms and places we'd just been in.
And he's ranting, disgusting.
You're a terrible person.
And I'm like, who's that guy?
What happened to Glinda the Goodrich?
He's talking to Caitlin Collins, Bill.
Yeah.
He's talking.
He's talking to garbage people who have been accusing him of being a traitor to our country since the first time he was elected president.
That's why he talks to those people like that.
He's no more of a traitor than anybody else that Israel owns that runs the country.
Yeah.
So that that like you don't get.
How do you not get?
How do you still not get that?
It's on purpose.
Like these people are like in a fog.
I just talked to my friend from New York.
King the mothership.
And like, listen, the amount that people don't know anything, and especially if they're from certain areas.
New York is worse than L.A., I think.
But like just no thoughts about the Biden was senile ever.
No, you stutter.
All the things you would have thought people would have remembered by now.
Oh, yeah.
BLM was a scam, I guess.
Wasn't it like they just forget stuff?
Yeah.
Forget stuff and move on to the next thing.
As Michael, as Michael Malice says, they live in the perpetual present moment.
Yeah.
That's the goal.
Yeah.
Forget of this.
Forget every forget.
It's like when you say, hey, why did they all say that the vaccine stopped transmission?
And they all know they never said that.
And then you show them a video of everybody saying it.
Oh, well, that was before the bubble.
No, no, no.
You said they never said it.
And the reason why you said they never said it was because the people who said it told you they never said it.
So you would repeat that.
Yeah.
And then you repeated it.
And then I showed you that.
And then you go, oh, no, no.
It's it.
It's all my control.
So the same people who lied to you that it stopped transmission are the same people who lied to you who said they never said it.
So does you ever catch on that they're lying about everything at every fucking turn?
No.
It's called hypnosis.
It's called hypnosis.
If you have the misfortune of sitting through CNN or Fox or any of them on like a tarmac in an airplane because your earbuds died like I have.
When you watch it, it's unbelievable what you're looking at.
They only tell three stories and then they tell them over and over again.
Then they have a panel of people who all say the same catchphrase about the story.
It's like a children's show.
Like the Democrats have been talking to people like they're like it's Grover on Sesame Street for the last 12 years.
It's gotten insane.
I like how Bill Bill Maher.
Like he lists all those.
Those aren't valid reasons to like or dislike.
He's essentially sharing a Facebook post about what they had for dinner.
But Donald Trump happened to be there.
And, you know, you know, he lost it.
He lost half the room when he said, yeah, my friend Kid Rock.
You know, he lost half the room when he said that.
Yes.
But then he magically won them back when he presented a book of insults of him during dinner to Trump.
That's when Trump signed it.
Because you said his dad was an orangutan.
It seems like worse than any of the insults on your signed insult page.
So.
It's just weird that.
Anyway.
Look, we we he realized he can still he can go and make nicer Trump for Israel's sake and still have a show for smug, uninformed liberals.
That makes them think that it really is.
It really is.
It really is for smug, uninformed liberals.
I mean, and I got to say, the Academy Award goes to Bill Maher for pretending to be shocked to discover that politics is just really pro wrestling for people who think they're better than WWE fans.
Of course it is.
To my friend that was here.
I can't remember what we were talking about.
Yes.
If I believed in God.
And he did like a 2007 Reddit atheist.
Here's what you believe in a man in the sky.
And then he goes on to tell me he thought Epstein committed suicide.
Wow.
That's that real logical.
He is.
My mother really helped you out a lot.
Huh?
don't see how epstein boy you're critical uh unbelievable hey you know here's another great way you can help support the show is you become a premium member we give you a couple of hours of premium bonus content every week and it's a great way to help support the show you can do it by going to jimmy doorcompedy.com clicking on join premium.
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Thanks for everybody who was already a premium member.
And if you haven't, you're missing out.
We give you lots of bonus content.
Thanks for your support.
Michael Rappaport, Kurt, says he's struggling to find work due to his support for Israel.
I thought it was because he was a complete and utter a-hole.
I thought that was it.
Oh, what a nice curtain to hide behind.
I can't work.
Why?
Because you know how you know how Muslims run Hollywood.
Yeah.
You know, come on.
First, it was the Amish, now it's the Muslims.
When are the Jews going to get their chance?
Is there no more Hasbro money now that the ethnic cleansing is almost done, Michael?
Is that the problem?
Yeah.
Sir Michael Rappaport.
He says it's because of his support for Israel, but he doesn't have the slightest bit of regret for his activism.
Wow.
Good to hear he's standing his ground in Muslim-run Hollywood.
He's not going to back down to the people who run Hollywood.
Hey, seriously, it takes a lot of guts to hopefully back a genocide, even when both parties of your country support it.
Wow, there's still the risk of being tweeted at.
You don't want to go through that.
Wow.
I've heard some rough tweets, but I'm getting through it.
Michael Rappaport, I say don't give up all hope because there's got to be somebody who wants to hire you.
Have you given Israel a call?
You're hiring people to act like they care about Israel, and you're perfect.
Well, I think, Jimmy, the program is they want you to act like you care about Israel.
And also, please never move to Israel is their program for Michael Rappaport.
Glenn Greenwald says Hollywood studio heads and TV executives, notoriously anti-Semitic and anti-Israel.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Ever since the Amish took over Hollywood, Kurt, production has really slowed down.
I'll tell you that because they can't use the electricity.
I always thought Amish got it done anyway because they, you know, they do speed.
Well, they're trying, they're trying to rewire all the electricity to make it gas-powered.
I learned that from a vanilla ice episode of his home improvement.
Yeah, they can have lights in their house, but it has to be powered by gas.
So it's just, it's, I know.
It must be powered by a slave, English.
Brian McDonald says, imagine anyone thinking Hollywood is run by Hamas because Michael Rappaport isn't getting major roles.
He has to realize he's like a novelty item, just like fake dog shit.
Except Michael Rappport's such a good actor.
He seems like real dog shit.
That's the thing.
He is a good actor.
He's like human fart spray.
He is like human fartspray.
Here's what happens when you say the wrong thing in Hollywood.
You get dropped by your agency.
If you go against Israel, that's when the work dries up.
Can you imagine this guy?
It's like, wow.
Chris Christie, it's like Chris Christie complaining he's getting turned away at the all-you-can-eat buffet because he doesn't use a napkin.
He keeps eating with the serving spoon.
There's an Oscar.
There's an Oscar-winning actress who got dropped by her agency.
And still, to this date, no one's claiming representing her.
Even though she's in a new project with Vince Vaughan, I hope Mike McRae hears this.
She's in a new Netflix show with people who I thought were dead years ago.
Brenda Vaccaro.
Brenda Vaccaro is on the series on Netflix.
I love Brenda Van Viking.
Vicaro.
Who is she?
Bro, who is Brenda Vaccaro?
That's Kurt says.
Who's Brenda?
She won a couple golden globes for her work in 1969 and 1975.
She got an Oscar nomination in 75.
Same thing.
Her biggest claim, I forget the names of the movies, but they were really good movies.
And the claim, her biggest claim to fame was she did a tampon commercial and she breathed like a werewolf.
And everybody made fun of that.
You remember that?
Hi, I'm Brenda Vaccaro.
Do you remember that?
About tampons.
It sounds like she was well past tampon age.
No, this was back.
This was back when she wasn't.
This is like back.
This is back when everybody had George C. Scott voice from smoking all day.
Yes.
He's never young.
But Susan Sarandon, you know, I know you won an Oscar, but you have to realize you're no Michael Rappaport.
Yeah, that's true.
You're never going to reach that level of talent, no matter how much brain damage you receive in your life.
For one thing, you occasionally blow your nose.
Here he says, hey, hey, ho-ho, Khalid Mohammed, you've got to go.
By the way, he gets the guy's name.
He gets the guy's name wrong, even though the guy's name is right there in his tweet, Mahmoud Khalil.
He calls him Khalil Muhammad.
He gets his.
That's.
I don't understand how you fucked that up.
A judge.
What?
He calls him.
He calls him.
Is it fuck nose?
Is that what that is?
FK nose?
I think that's what that is.
That is anti-Semitic, by the way.
Yeah.
It's kind of anti-Semitic.
So he calls him Khalil.
A dumb, even while getting his name wrong.
Here, let's, you want to hear his message?
Yes.
So here, let's listen.
Woo!
Woo!
I'm going to get this in before Shabbat.
I'm wishing everybody a fantastic, good Shabbos and
a peaceful By the way,
not one bit of evidence that he harassed anyone or said anything that was anti-Semitic.
They have to make this up because these people don't, Zionists don't care about free speech.
They're anti-free speech.
They're anti-First Amendment, which makes them anti-American.
That's the irony here.
You see, Israel doesn't have a constitution.
And Israel, that's right, Curtis probably don't seem to understand ours.
Hey, I only go through life trying to start fist fights with everyone and everything everywhere.
Why don't people want to hire me?
Especially from a guy who looks like he's lost every fight he's ever been in.
Wow, Jake LaMotta at the end was looking a lot better than this.
Jaime Town!
You f.
You dumb f.
I got no sympathy for you or your wife.
You should have been putting together the bassinet.
You should have been putting together the baby stroller instead of harassing Jews in New York City.
And you're telling me people don't want to work with that guy?
We don't know exactly what Mahmoud Khalil did because you know why?
Because they won't tell us.
They won't tell us.
But if it's what Michael Rappaport just did in this video, then he should be deported and should be Michael.
Hey, wait, hang on.
Wait a minute.
He forgot to wish happy Shabbat to the Shabazz guys, goys.
To the Shabazz goes.
Who does he think this physical labor of deporting legal resident Zionists don't like?
Come on.
The Shabazz guys is a good band name.
Hey, maybe, maybe employers are actually looking to hire sane adults.
Do you ever think about that?
Yeah, he has a history of that.
You know that, right?
Imagine him not only as an actor, imagine him as any other profession.
Imagine that guy as your barista.
Imagine him as your airline pilot.
Imagine him as your surgeon.
Imagine that guy as your therapist.
Maybe the answer is he can't be hired to play anything else except a crazy ass wipe that he is.
That's not like he's this great actor.
Like, oh my God, Dan.
Was that Daniel Day-Lewis or was that Michael Rappaport?
I can't tell which one.
Dude, I wouldn't even hire him as a spokesman for an ethnic cleansing.
They're not going to hire an off-the-spectrum psychopath.
I can't believe it.
He's the next worst thing that happened to Jewish people besides Benjamin Netanyahu, and he can't get work.
That's really weird.
Yeah, he's annoying to Jews.
Here's the gist of the story.
Yes.
Jews can't take him.
Yes.
And rightly so.
Okay.
So after the immigration judge in Mahmoud Khalil's case ordered the government to provide evidence to justify deporting him, this is what they filed.
I've been a lawyer for 14 years and a criminal defense lawyer for nine of those years, and I've never seen anything like this.
Totally nebulous, vague allegations about involvement in anti-Semitic protests and disruptive activities without any specific attributions of unlawful activity or even anti-Semitic speech is attributed to Khalil himself, which in any event is protected by the freaking First Amendment.
I'm allowed to hate shit.
I'm allowed to hate Zionism.
I'm allowed to hate Germany.
I'm allowed to hate Saudi Arabia.
I'm also allowed to hate Israel.
I'm allowed to hate Canada.
I'm allowed to hate Canada, Louisiana, Iowa.
Yeah, don't.
I'm allowed to.
I don't, but I'm allowed to.
In the U.S. and all civilized societies, if government is going to punish someone under the law, it had better provide evidence of specific forms of unlawful activity by the individual that it's targeting.
Not only has the government entirely failed to do that here, but it's obvious it's a case of predicated, its case is predicated on punishing a First Amendment protected speech and protests.
So that's what's happening.
There's Michael, poor Michael Rappaport.
Can't find work.
Can you imagine...
I mean, he's such a...
They would have to hire Daniel Day-Lewis to play him in the biopic, right?
I just saw him on something.
The Fallout TV series.
He was good.
Michael Rappaport?
Yeah, he played like a dickhead.
Yeah, he's great at playing those dumb guy who's overly.
It was very recent.
I don't know what he's talking about.
I saw him in a Woody Allen movie.
He was hilarious because he plays that.
He plays that role well.
He really does.
He plays the dumb guy who's overly sincere.
It's a very funny character, but that's it.
That's it.
That's his range.
Well, which is more range than I have because I've never, I've only been hired to act a few times, and I screwed it up every time I did.
Yeah.
I don't know why I've been scheduled so many clubs after him.
And so I would tell you about his reputation of how he is on tipping people, but I don't want to be deported from this country.
Oh, no kidding.
Yo, I never heard Nobody say a good word about him.
Here's the new announcement from the Department of Homeland Security, DHS to begin screening aliens' social media activity for anti-Semitism.
Today, U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services, U.S. CIS, will begin considering aliens, anti-Semitic activity on social media and the physical harassment of Jewish individuals as grounds for denying immigration benefit requests.
This will immediately affect aliens applying for lawful permanent resident status, foreign students, and aliens affiliated with educational institutions linked to anti-Semitic activity.
So guess what?
If you want to apply now to be a permanent resident in the U.S., you want to have a green card, you want to study here, the government's going to look at your social media to make sure that you're not criticizing Israel.
That's what they mean by anti-Semitism.
Under this guidance, continuing with the announcement, USCIS will consider social media content that indicates an alien endorsing, espousing, promoting, or supporting anti-Semitic terrorism, anti-Semitic terrorist organizations, or other anti-Semitic activity as a negative factor in any USCIS discretionary analysis when adjudicating immigration benefit requests.
This guidance is effective immediately.
So notice how they say this isn't just about supporting terrorism or terrorist organizations.
This is about other anti-Semitic activity.
And we know how the Trump administration and the Biden administration before it defined anti-Semitism, criticizing Israel.
And that's what they'll now be policing immigrant applicants' social media for to see if they've criticized Israel and deciding whether you can come into the country.
So this is the Trump administration's version of Black Lives Matter.
And, you know, as MAGA was upset that, oh, you racialize everything and everybody's a victim.
Well, this is exactly, this is their own version of it.
So they didn't get rid of it.
They're just doing, they just switched it to an even smaller group of people, Zionists.
And that's what this is all.
Again, this is not America first.
This is Israel first.
And I guess Trump doesn't have to worry about it because he's not running for reelection.
And the problem is the Democrats are for it too.
That's the problem.
There is no opposition to this.
And the people who gave the slightest of pushbacks to it, APAC primaries them and gets them out of there.
Well, there's, you know, it's, again, it's the exact opposite of what people voted for.
Here's more from the DHS.
There is no room in the U.S. for the rest of the world's terrorist sympathizers.
And we're under no obligation to admit them or let them stay here.
Anyone who thinks they can come to America and hide behind the First Amendment to advocate for anti-Semitic violence and terrorism, think again, you are not welcome here.
What they're saying is you can be racist if you want to.
You can advocate violence against Palestinians, as so many supporters of Israel do.
But if you criticize Israel, you cannot hide behind the First Amendment.
And someone who opposes this is Nico Perino.
He's with the group called FHIR, which is a conservative organization, but they've actually been consistent, unlike many others, when it comes to free speech.
And he says everyone should be concerned when the government starts defining anti-Semitism and terrorism as broadly as it has been these past three months.
And yes, the First Amendment is what you hide behind to defend against censorship and oppression.
It was designed for that purpose.
So that's somebody being consistent.
Here's more from FHIR the fire org.
The Department of Homeland Security announced it is formalizing the censorship practices it has engaged in for the past three months by surveilling visa and green card holders and targeting them based on nothing more than their protected expression.
The Trump administration trades America's commitment to free and open discourse for fear and silence.
Unfortunately, that chill appears to be the administration's aim.
That's exactly right.
So after nabbing students off the street, putting them in gulags and trying to deport them for criticizing Israel, now the Trump administration says this will extend to anybody applying for an immigration status in the U.S. They're going to have their social media monitored.
And all the Israel supporters, including foreign countries who come in who advocate violence against Palestinians, who advocate mass murder, they're fine.
It's only people who are critical of Israel.
And this sort of came up in a recent debate that was held between Glenn Greenwald, who again is a consistent champion of free speech.
He criticizes censorship, whether it's carried out by Democrats or Republicans, and Megan Kelly, who is a conservative-leaning host.
And they discussed this issue in the context of the Trump administration's attempt to deport Columbia student Mahmoud Khalil.
Okay, well, there's nothing unreasonable about saying being the spokesperson for an on-campus terror group means you violated your terms of staying here and your green card is not.
I think you're wildly mischaracterizing the point of this protest.
I remember very well in 2002, people who are opposed to the U.S. invasion of Iraq were told, oh, they were Saddam Hussein supporters.
And they would say, no, we're not Saddam Hussein importers.
We just don't think the U.S. should invade Iraq.
Same thing now.
If you don't support financing Ukraine, you're told, oh, you're a Putin supporter.
And you say, no, I'm not a Putin supporter.
I just don't want the U.S. involved in this war.
And so these protests were about to be available.
No one who was out on the street said they were not defending Hamas.
They were actually defending that Columbia divest.
They were demanding that Colombia was a bad person.
Exactly, but that's not all demand.
That doesn't mean that you know that they anti-Israel protesters modeled themselves after the student movements in the 1980s that were against the apartheid regime, the main demand of which was we demand that you divest from apartheid South Africa.
That's what these people are demanding.
That we demand that that is a peaceful protest.
The American students cannot be deported for having done that, but someone here on a green card can be.
Yeah, so I don't even think, by the way, I guess Colin Greenwald's on his way to a St. Valentine's Massacre reenactment.
And does he not dress like a gangster?
But anyway, Megan Kelly, I don't know much about her, but there's no way she believes what she's even saying.
There's no way she can be a lover of the Constitution, a lover of free speech, or any of that stuff, and then completely misrepresent the, it's exactly what Glenn pointed out to her.
You're wildly mischaracterizing what that was.
And she, I don't know what she's not a politician, so I don't know what she gets out of it.
She doesn't have an APAC handler, or maybe she does.
I don't know.
But there's no way.
She's a very intelligent woman that she believes what she's saying there.
There's just, I just, I have a, I cannot, I can't believe that she believes what she's saying.
And I don't know what she gets out of it, but same thing with Trump.
They know better and they're, they are turning on their own principles.
So a principle of free speech, free speech isn't a prize that you give to people you like.
It isn't a prize we give to citizens.
Free speech is a value that we defend at all costs and we try to spread around the world to everyone everywhere.
And it's a very popular value, which is why Republicans did so well in part of the elections because they could accurately say the Democrats were suppressing free speech.
There's so many examples of it.
But now they're squandering that, or at least they're abandoning the principle for what?
For Israel.
And in a much more extreme way than Biden did when in his censorship.
I don't recall Biden monitoring immigrants' social media accounts and deciding whether they can come into the country or not based on their social media.
So and also trying to deport people for saying the wrong thing.
So Trump is taking it to a new extreme.
And again, Glenn Greenwald, who called out the censorship regime under Democrats, here he is now after years of conservative grievances about Biden's DHS monitoring social media to eliminate and punish dissent.
Trump's DHS now doing the same to see who should be deported or denied visas.
But don't worry, virulent anti-black racism, arguing Muslims should be killed.
LGBTs put into camps or fine.
You just can't express anti-Semitism, i.e.
criticisms of Israel, which is often equated with being pro-Hamas.
And now, Aaron, you're a Jew.
Would you say, they like to say that anti-Semitism is on the rise.
And if it is on the rise, wouldn't you think it's things like this that actually increase people's anti-Semitism?
To the extent it's on the rise.
And again, I'm not even sure about that, but it is.
Then it comes from a self-proclaimed Jewish state carrying out mass murder with complete impunity, people seeing every day these images of slaughtered children.
And then also in the U.S., getting the government to censor people and deport them if they are critical of all these atrocities that Israel is carrying out.
Well, also meanwhile, crying victim all the time, saying we don't feel safe on campuses, which makes them the ultimate snowflakes, not the liberals that they often mock.
So to the extent there's a rise in anti-Semitism, then it comes from that.
But again, I think it's so silly to complain about anti-Semitism when Jews are among, you know, especially North American Jews are among the most privileged people in the world.
It's so embarrassing.
It is.
I can say that easily because I'm Jewish, but it's just even before all this, like before October 7th, I always thought it was dumb because we're such a privileged group of people.
And I'm, you know, like, I'm thankful for that.
Do you feel safe in New York?
Do you actually, do you feel safe, though, in New York City?
Yeah, come on.
You can't feel safe as a Jew in New York City, can you?
You know what?
It's also funny that things that would be considered a compliment to other ethnicities are considered an insult and anti-Semitic, and they need to be deported for.
Like if some, I'm Irish, right?
If someone said, you know, the Irish control the media and the banks, I'd be like, yeah, we're doing very well.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We're doing, we worked hard and we're smart and we're doing very well.
Thank you for the compliment.
But if you say that about the Jewish people, that is a huge, you're not allowed to say that.
That is, oh my God, you're a racist.
You're an anti-Semite.
And by the way, most of the people, the Zionists in Israel aren't Semites, the majority of them.
Am I wrong about that?
Am I overstating?
No, you're right.
Listen, most of the people who around the world are Jewish.
They don't come from historic Palestine.
They come from places like Ukraine.
In fact, a relative recently did a DNA test.
And my family, apparently, its origins are in Ukraine.
Okay.
Like some above 90%, Ukraine.
That's where most Jews around the world come from.
So this idea that we're Semites and we're in our biblical homeland, it's complete fiction.
It's historical fiction.
And that's why all the prime ministers of Israel changed their names to sound correct to sound less European.
And why there's a very high rate of skin cancer inside Israel because that white skin can't handle the Middle Eastern sun.
And it's this, it's this, it's this most, it's this paranoid narcissism where we're like, we're the chosen people.
We're special.
But yet if you say that there's a disproportionate amount of Jews in positions of power, then you're anti-Semitic while we're going around calling themselves special and chosen people, all this.
So listen, it's a huge problem and Israel is at the heart of it.
And certainly now the government is saying we're going to deport you and not let you win if you criticize Israel.
It's only going to increase to whatever extent, to whatever extent anti-Semitism is out there, it's only going to increase as a result.
Well, I think that they are the chosen people.
I don't know what you think, but they're definitely a master race.
Are you saying that because you want to get maybe like a new show?
Are you looking for like a bigger show?
Are you looking for a TV deal?
No, it's, you know, lots of people have made the comparison to that the Jews were a victim of the Holocaust and now that they're implementing a version of that, that they've turned in, they've now morphed into the thing that gave them victim status.
They now they've now become the monster.
And uh, and I think claiming that you're a chosen people sounds very similar to what the people who oppressed them uh used to say about themselves.
It's very supremacist, it's very supremacist.
So that's why, you know, Israel is a Jewish supremacist state, and unfortunately, it has a lot of allies and very far, very powerful positions inside the U.S. And that's why they're now trying to crack down and censor people for criticizing all that.
So, I, the, the guy, I forget his name, but he's the head of Palinter and Alex Kark.
Yeah, yeah.
So, he said this at some kind of symposium on the videotape.
I showed it at one of my Rumble Time shows that he said we have to, it's imperative to stop these college protests because if we lose this, we've lost our ability to do war for the rest of all time.
So, this is imperative.
We have to stop this.
And it's all about narrative control.
That's the same thing when the Democrats and the big pharma was censoring over COVID.
It was because if they lose the narrative, they've lost the game.
And the same thing here: the military-industrial complex, the Zionists, they cannot lose the narrative.
And if they do, and so that's what all this censorship is.
That's what all this, you know, putting a chill into the air of anybody.
But it actually backfires, you know, it's actually creating more dissent.
It's creating more outrage over this kind of thing.
And hopefully, it really does backfire in a big way.
But this right now, they're winning, right?
So they have suppressed the college protests.
They've done that.
And I don't understand how anybody in good conscience, why you would even want to go to school at Columbia University.
Why the fuck are you, if you're smart enough to get in there, wouldn't you be smart enough to get the fuck out of there?
Because they don't give a shit about you.
And they don't give a shit about any of the values they claim to give a shit.
And they certainly don't give a shit about a robust debate or you having free speech.
Why the fuck would you want to go to school at Columbia, a shithole college like that?
Hey, we'll see in Bakersfield, San Jose.
We'll see in Buffalo, Toledo, Montreal, Toronto, Ottawa.
Go to JimmyDoor.com for a link for those tickets.
So you know how Bernie Sanders and AOC are trying to save us from this new thing called oligarchy that Donald Trump is bringing in?
Well, it's interesting because Mays put together this video compilation that Bernie Sanders has been warning us about oligarchy since 1993.
So this idea that it's this new thing happening, he just shut up about it from 2020 to 2024.
And so let's watch.
This great country of ours is moving very rapidly in the direction of oligarchy.
So that's 1993, and he calls it an oligarchy, not oligarchy.
He calls it oligarchy.
United States of America today is increasingly becoming an oligarchy.
So that's 1994.
Now here's 1995.
More and more moving toward an oligarchy.
We are moving in the direction of oligarchy.
We will move even more rapidly in the direction of an oligarchy.
This great country is evolving into an oligarchic society.
It is called oligarchy, and that is the system we are rapidly moving toward.
This is a budget that moves our country rapidly into the direction of oligarchy.
A handful of billionaires are moving this entire planet toward an oligarchic system.
So now he goes silent for the years under Joe Biden about oligarchy, and it comes back.
When did it come back?
Start off with the bad news, which is pretty bad.
And that is that under Donald Trump, this country is hurtling rapidly toward oligarchy.
So just under Donald Trump, not under Bill Clinton, not under Barack Obama, not under Joe Biden, but under Donald Trump.
Well, yes, Under Clinton, he was saying it in the 90s.
Yeah.
He's incorrect.
We're a narco-terror state.
That's what we are.
We're not an oligarchy.
We're a narco-trafficking terror state.
So what that shows you is that Bernie Sanders is an inconsistent charlatan who is a partisan of the highest order and will only fight when it's easy for him to do it.
I mean, he's pretty consistent.
He said the same thing.
Get ready for this oligarchy that's on its way here any minute now while we're in an oligarchy the whole time.
The whole time.
Pretty consistent.
Well, he set up about it from 2020 to 2024.
Well, yeah, because I believe that story completely from Twitter about him.
So all my questions have been answered.
That story from Twitter?
What is that?
You mean that story about where he got compromised by being footprinted?
He had to perform an act on young somebody?
He didn't want to neither.
He doesn't want to vote for these Democrats either, but he's going to do it because they got that tape on him.
And if that story ain't true, it's something very close to it because nobody with a normal intelligence sits here and does this for this many years.
I'm not as smart as Bernie, I'm going to tell you.
And I've been doing comedy for 25 years, and my act didn't stay that much the same.
Oh, no, that's on purpose.
How do you live with yourself?
You know, you go, well, things could be worse.
That tape could come out.
Hey, become a premium member.
Go to JimmyDoorComedy.com.
Sign up.
It's the most affordable premium program in the business.
Oh, All the voices performed today are by the one and only the inimitable Mike McRae.
He can be found at MikeMcRae.com.
That's it for this week.
You be the best you can be, and I'll keep being me.
You be the best you can be, and I'll keep being me.
