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Oct. 15, 2020 - Jimmy Dore Show
01:03:44
20201015_TJDS_20201015_Podcast
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Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program.
The Jimmy Dore Show.
Wow, phone's ringing.
Yeah, hello, who's this?
James, it is I, Sir Patrick Stewart of the United Federation of Screen Actors, Writers, Producers, Directors, and Gaffers.
Wow, Patrick Stewart, you got quite a resume.
Yes, James.
I have done all of those things and done them well.
But now the time has come to embark upon a great journey to a new horizon.
Jimmy, our ship is about to set sail.
Will you join me on that journey?
What journey?
Star Trek, the next generation reunion benefit for the Wisconsin Democratic Party.
Are you in, my boy?
No.
How could you possibly need my help for something like that?
We'll each be reading selections from Andrew Cuomo's brilliant new tone, American Crisis, leadership lessons from the COVID pandemic.
Will you join with us on this epic journey of discovery and knowledge?
No.
You'll get two drink tickets on the house.
Uh, no thanks.
Okay, then how about giving us some money?
No, why me?
Allow me to unpack what's at stake here.
We are no longer engaging in a battle with the Romulans, but against the synthetics of Copelius as well.
And you know very well what that means, don't you, my boy?
No, not really.
No, it means I have a mission, and I will do what needs to be done.
What have you gotten yourself into, Patrick?
No.
No.
No, seriously, why are you laughing like that?
Have you ever been a stranger to yourself, James?
I have encountered a woman.
She came to me for help.
She is in serious danger, and that lady is democracy.
Joe Biden and Kamala Harris need our help.
And with your guidance, we will literally trek the vote to victory.
Are you with us?
You go ahead without me.
I'll catch up.
Wait!
Before you make a decision you might regret for the rest of your life, let me expertly pronounce a few names for you.
Are you ready?
Yes.
Kate Mulgrew, Soniqua Martin Green, and Gates McFadden.
Impressed?
They will all be there on this heroic and trek to raise a bunch of cash for Kamala Harris.
No thanks.
Does LeVar Burton ring a bell, James?
What about Evan Evagora, Isabrionis, or even Santiago Cabrera?
Let me say that name three more times.
Santiago Cabrera.
I'm sorry, but I'm busy that day, Patrick.
Okay, I understand.
But how does Bradley Witford drive you?
No, thanks.
Well played, James.
Even though this has not been as productive as hoped, I'm still glad we could connect.
Before I go, I have a riddle to offer you.
Would you care to try it out?
Sure.
What do one in five couples usually do after dating for 12 months?
I don't know.
What do they do?
Engage!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Ah!
Look for me in the new season of Robot Chicken, assholes.
Establishment media sucks All gaslighting so good luck Bullshit we can't afford He's fomenting this Watch and see as he's jacked off The median speeds and jumps the medium And hits him head on It's the Chimitor Show Chimitor Show Hi, everybody.
Welcome to this week's Jimmy Door Show.
Let's get to the jokes before we get to the jokes, shall we?
I'd like to announce that in observance of World Mental Health Day, I voted my conscience.
Come on, you got to vote for Biden.
Don't worry.
After the election, we can push Biden to the left with the cars most Americans are sleeping in.
Hey, pro-health.
Yeah, I know.
Hey, pro-health tip.
I just want to just want to say what makes that joke extra funny is that I live in California, which is the fifth largest economy in the entire world.
A larger economy than Russia, California.
It's run by a Democratic governor, supermajority government legislature.
I have Los Angeles, a Democrat mayor, and a Democrat city council, and there are people sleeping under every bridge in the state.
Vote blue.
Hey, pro-health tip, rich people need to lose all their weight.
Hey, did you know that good news?
Researchers discovered COVID-19 can survive on money for a month, something only the 1% have now.
Hey, this just in Noam Chomsky has turned into something he used to debate.
More on that later on a special edition of I'm Old and Giving Up with Noam Chomsky.
Hey, here's a next suggestion.
You know that Lincoln project?
Those warmongers who are against Trump?
So the Democrats love them.
You know, the Lincoln Project?
They should premiere all their videos at Forge Theater.
Hey, FYI, if the Lincoln Project had been around in Lincoln's time, they would have been against Lincoln because he was a crazy social justice warrior.
Hey, what's coming up on today's Jimmy Door show?
Nancy Pelosi completely melts down on CNN after being asked a question from Wolf Blitzer.
Plus, I had a message for President Donald Trump when I went on Tucker Carlson's Fox News show.
We'll reveal that today.
Plus, Noam Chomsky has an underwater voter outreach strategy that is sure to work.
And Nancy Pelosi's daughter accuses people of sexism as a way of shielding her mother from criticism.
Plus, we got phone calls today from Joe Biden, Chuck Schumer, Mitt Romney, and Atrich Stewart.
And a lot lot more.
That's today coming up on the Jimmy Door show.
So Nancy Pelosi is refusing to give people a stimulus.
Andrew Yang said, hey, Nancy needs to say yes to her relief bill, which is what a lot of people in the Democratic Party are saying to Nancy Pelosi, but she won't do it.
So they're saying Nancy needs to say yes.
So instead of talking about Nancy Pelosi keeping relief from people, her daughter, who is a craven piece of it, decides to tweet this out.
Her daughter, of course, she was raised by Nancy Pelosi, so she's going to be a craven person who's challenged integrity in other ways.
So here's what she says: Hashtag everydaysexism is a man using her first name to refer to the Speaker of the House.
Sexism by referring to someone by their fucking name.
Wasn't that the whole point of feminism to get people to treat women equally?
Now you have this.
What this is, is this is elitism.
This is Nancy Pelosi's daughter, daughter of a hundred millionaire, showing you got to have respect for this class of person.
She's an aristocrat.
How dare you use her first name?
How dare you?
Do you see?
And she's doing this.
She's using sexism to shield her mother from screwing over working people who are in dire straits right now.
Is there a bigger garbage person in the world right now than Nancy Pelosi?
Well, there is.
It's her daughter.
Because not only that, she'll use sexism to defend her mother from screwing people over.
That's what that's what, that's the kind of stock that Nancy Pelosi, that's the kind of person she raised.
Of course it is.
Of course it is.
She goes, is a man using her first name to refer to speaker?
Do you understand why no one fucking while three-quarters of the country more has disdain for you and your ilk?
Complete disrespect.
You've earned our disrespect.
This is garbage.
You're a garbage person.
You do this.
This is what they used to say about Bernie Sanders.
He wants to give you health care.
He's a sexist.
Andrew Yang wants to get people relief during COVID.
He's a sexist.
You're a garbage, corrupt, criminal defender.
You defend criminally corrupt people.
And you use sexism to do it?
Why don't you go hang out with Joe Biden?
Ask him to stick his hands have been lately, you fucking liar.
She goes, everyday sexism is a man using her first name to refer to the Speaker of the House who's been passing stimulus bills that don't help regular people at all, but give trillions of dollars to the oligarchs.
And you know that, you garbage person.
Note he doesn't ask Donald or Mitch to make a deal or explain why we should sacrifice OSHA protections for essential workers, most of whom are women.
Hey, here's another reason why Nancy Pelosi isn't doing anything to help people.
I made up another pretend reason.
Here's another pretend reason.
I've got a million.
You want a good reason while Nancy Pelosi isn't helping people?
I've got a fucking bucket full of them.
Do you have a reason why she presided over the largest upward transfer of wealth in the history of the human race?
Because that's what Nancy Pelosi did when COVID hit.
She's not giving anyone health care and she gave $5 trillion to the richest people in the country and she's still screwing workers.
Now, is she speaking to Christine Pelosi?
Is she speaking to the first ever Asian presidential candidate ever?
Yes.
He's a sexist.
Yes.
He's a sexist.
Andrew Yang, I think anybody who watched Andrew Yang would say he's a, there's lots of wrong with he's a sexist, I'm sure.
If there's one thing, Bernie Sanders and Andrew Yang aren't is sexist.
But if you were raised by Nancy Pelosi, you don't have any dignity, integrity, and your reflex is to do bad faith attacks on people are calling out your corruption.
That's a garbage person who was raised by another corrupt war criminal, garbage, the worst of the worst of human beings.
Is there anything worse than a garbage war criminal?
There isn't.
Oh, wait, maybe there is someone who uses sexism to defend those people.
I had no idea that the stimulus package could be a gender issue.
Did you know it?
Aren't you?
Now maybe you're being sexist.
Don't call her Nancy.
Well, I'm, you know what?
Stop being a Nancy.
Hey, I don't know if Nancy knows this.
What is her daughter's name, Christine?
I hate Chrissy.
I don't know if Nancy knows this.
But unemployment was supposed to be temporary.
Now it's permanent for 4 million people.
Wow, she's the most powerful person in Congress.
Wow.
Because this is what happens with capitalism, by the way, when it spirals out of control, you go flying.
Nearly 13 million Americans were unemployed in September.
That's about 7 million more workers than pre-pandemic levels.
The early part of the recession was characterized by temporary layoffs or furloughs, but permanent job loss is rising.
A growing share of workers are also long-term unemployed, meaning they've been out of work for more than six months.
That carries severe financial side effects.
I wonder how many jobs would have been saved if we had universal health care during a pandemic.
Speaker Pelosi on stalled COVID relief talk says a fly on the wall or wherever else it might land in the Oval Office tells me that the president only wants his name on a check to go out before election day and for the market to go up.
Does this inspire confidence in anyone about Nancy Pelosi?
seriously sounds like a drunk person losing a debate so they're just saying words.
Here she is.
Well, I believe in the American people.
They understand.
People are hurting.
We have to meet their needs, not to give the president a chance to just say, I'm going to put my name on a check, send it out, and don't talk to me about food, rent, the virus, or anything else.
That's all he wants is his name on a check that goes out.
And all the respects.
What's the difference?
As long as the people get the money.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Perhaps I'm not clear.
Okay.
So we're looking at it comprehensively.
You're saying just so they have a check in their pocket.
It doesn't matter.
I get that they have food.
What is your pole vault to get there?
How are you going to pole vault over This.
So she knows, we know you have needs like food and rent, so we're going to make sure you don't get a check to take care of things like food and rent.
Makes sense if you don't think about it.
So she wants to stop Donald Trump from getting credit from helping people before the election.
So she's willing to let people starve in food lines without health care before the election.
That's not sexist to say that about Nancy Pelosi, the war criminal that she is.
That's not sexist.
Hey, Nancy, it's us about to be homeless.
Hi, Nancy.
It's us about to be homeless.
It's us.
There she is.
You know what?
What kind of sex?
What kind of ism is it when a criminally corrupt 100 millionaire is denying people health care and relief during a pandemic?
Who does this kind of bullshit work on exactly?
That's what I said about Christine Pelosi when she says, she said Andrew Yang was a sexist for using Nancy Pelosi's first name instead of talking about the issue.
I like that you said hashtag criticism is not sexism.
Criticism, not sexism.
Hashtag you are garbage people.
And she is a garbage person.
Nancy Pelosi and Christine Pelosi are, and she doesn't, she might not know it, but she is.
She's as scummy as they come.
She's as bad as Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, anybody, didn't you name it?
Mitch McConnell.
Holy shit, imagine someone calling your powerful mother by her first name being your top concern instead of how you're going to survive another day.
I don't fucking care whose name is on the checks.
Thank you.
This has nothing to do with sexism.
And this has everything to do with Christine Pelosi being offended that the peasants dare criticize her powerful mom.
Should we just call her Madam Queen, Christine?
Or should I call you Chrissy?
I don't know.
That's probably sexist.
Yeah, that sounds a little sexist.
I called her Chrissy because I call myself Jimmy.
But if I call her Chrissy, how about if I call you garbage fucking loser?
How about that?
How about you're a fucking evil out-of-touch oligarch who attacks people asking for relief in a bad faith way, which makes you scummy, scum of the earth.
I'm getting ready for Christine to tell us don't look, make eye contact with her mother.
Anyhow, important to underline the situation here is Trump wants to do a stimulus because he thinks it will help him in the election, which Pelosi objects to for the same reason.
So Trump wants to do what politicians are supposed to do.
They're supposed to give people something so they'll vote for them.
Nancy Pelosi is trying to stop Trump from giving people something so they'll vote for him.
So Nancy Pelosi is your enemy, not Trump in this situation.
Nancy Pelosi is your enemy in every situation, by the way, just in case you didn't know.
Plenty of Americans would be massively helped by that check without feeling indebted to vote for him for it.
FYI, Nancy.
Let him put his stupid name on the check and send out another stupid fucking letter.
Who cares?
Pelosi is allowing suffering for a ridiculous reason, and that's exactly right.
Nancy, this is Christina Alessi says Nancy needs to say yes to a relief bill, says Andrew Yang, so that Americans can get help before the holidays.
Hashtag stimulus package.
Hey, here's a headline from the intercept: the unemployment crisis is a true national emergency.
The incompetent criminals ruling the United States are about to push millions of Americans off a terrifying financial cliff.
And that's a picture of hundreds of Kentucky residents waiting in line outside the Kentucky Career Center for help with their unemployment claims.
So there you go.
There's Nancy Pelosi, daughter, using a bad faith, bullshit, sexism attack as that they always do against actual accurate criticism of her criminally corrupt, incompetent, evil on purpose mother.
Because how dare you, that's all about class.
That's all of, how dare you criticize Madam Queen, who's worth $100 million.
Thank you.
Christine Pelosi.
What a fucking piece of it.
What a fucking piece of shit she is.
Of course she is, was raised by a fucking war criminal piece of shit.
Garbage people.
You're the fucking leaders of this country, and now you know why there's people sleeping under every bridge in California because of people like Christine Pelosi and Nancy Pelosi and their criminal corruption and their betrayal of the working class.
The betrayal of the poor, the working class, the immigrants, students, the elderly.
Nancy Pelosi and Christine Pelosi are the garbage people who have betrayed them.
And now they scream sexism when you point that out.
Well, fuck you, Christine and Nancy Pelosi.
You're both garbage people.
You're an embarrassment to the female sex.
So Nancy Pelosi got asked about why she's not helping people during a pandemic.
She's not giving people health care and she's not giving people relief.
She's did at least three or four stimulus bills now.
Not one of them helped you.
One of them gave you $1,200 and that was it.
While she gave $5 trillion to her own husband and the richest oligarchs in the country, you didn't get helped, but her rich friends did.
She's screwing you on purpose.
And right now, she's not going to give you a stimulus for political reasons.
And Wolf Blitzer held her feet to the fire.
Here it is.
And as you know, there are Americans who are being evicted from their homes.
They can't pay the rent.
Many Americans are waiting in food lines for the first time in their lives.
Can you look them in the eye, Madam Speaker, and explain why you don't want to accept the president's latest stimulus offer?
Well, because thank you very much, Wolf.
And I hope you'll ask the same question of the Republicans about why they don't really want to meet the needs of the American people.
But let me say to those people, because all of my colleagues, we represent these people.
I have for over 30 years represented my constituents.
I know what their needs are.
I listen to them.
And their needs are not addressed in the president's proposal.
So when you say to me, why don't you accept theirs?
Why don't they accept ours?
Our legislation is there to do three things primarily, To honor our workers, honor our heroes, our health care workers, our police and fire first responders, our teachers, our transportation, sanitation, food workers, the people who make our lives work.
We couldn't be doing what we're doing without them.
Many of them have risked their lives to save lives, and now they will lose their jobs because the states go bankrupt.
Madam Speaker, but they really need the money right now.
And even members of the country.
I understand that.
But even members of your own question.
Even members of your own caucus, Madam Speaker, want to accept this deal.
$1.8 trillion.
Congressman Roe Connor.
Let me just quote RoConna, a man you know well.
I assume you admire him.
He's a Democrat.
And he just said this.
He said, people in need can't wait until February.
$1.8 trillion is significant and more than twice the Obama stimulus.
Make a deal.
Put the ball in McConnell court.
So what do you say to Rokana?
What I say to you is, I don't know why you're always an apologist.
And then...
Oh.
Thank you.
So Wolf Blitzer says, hey, people are losing their homes.
I don't know why you're such an apologist.
Hey, Rokana's pointing out that people need a stimulus check right now.
Why are you such an apologist?
No, that's Rokana.
And you see how Wolf deftly phrased it, who I'm sure you admire.
Now she can't say, no, I don't.
So he got her.
And what does she have to come back with?
I can't believe you're now.
She's pretending that the news guy is the problem here.
Watch this.
This is awesome.
You know, when Wolf Blitzer is the voice of reason.
Wow.
That is precisely why they're pretty short.
They're concerned.
That's why it's so fair.
It's so important right now.
Yesterday I spoke to Andrew Yang, who says the same thing.
It's not everything you want.
You know what?
There's a lot there.
Honest to God, you really, I can't get over it.
Because Andrew Yang, he's lovely.
Rokana, he's lovely.
They are not negotiating this situation.
You're lovely, is the ruling class speak for it?
They can go fuck themselves.
Rokata, he could go fuck himself.
That's what she means when she says he's lovely.
That's what she means by that.
Okay, just so you know.
They have no idea of the particulars.
They have no idea of what the language is here.
I didn't come over here to have.
So you're the apologist for the Obama.
Excuse me.
God forbid.
Madam Speaker, I'm not an apologist.
I'm asking you serious questions because so many people are in testing right now.
Let me ask you this.
When was the last time you were in the middle of the day?
Let me respond to that.
Let me ask you a question.
When was the last time, Madam Speaker?
When was the last time you spoke with the president about this?
I don't speak to the president.
Why not represent that?
Why not call him and say, Mr. President, let's work out a deal.
It's not going to be everything you want, not going to be everything I want.
But there are so many Americans right now who are in desperate need.
Let's make a deal.
What makes me amused, if it weren't so sad, is how you all think that you know more about the suffering of the American people than those of us who are elected by the people.
Than those of us who eat ice cream in front of our $12,000 refrigerators on television.
You think you know more about the suffering of the people than a hundred millionaire who hasn't done anything to help people?
Well, I know.
This is when you don't have an answer.
She's getting dismantled by Wolf Blitzer to represent them at that table.
It is unfortunate that we do not have shared values with this White House and that they have in their bill, why don't you talk about in their bill, a tax break for the wealthiest families in the country while they cut out the earned income tax credit for the poorest families in our country and the poorest children in our country.
Has she told him good morning yet?
Because that's what she usually does when she gets into a pickle like that.
They were talking over each other so much, you'd think it was a presidential debate.
She goes on.
There's more.
I'll tax credit in their proposal either.
But let's not go into it.
You evidently do not respect the chairman of the committees.
I respect that.
I wish you would respect the knowledge that goes into meeting the needs of the American people.
But again, you've been on JAG defending the administration all this time with no knowledge of the difference between our two bills.
And I thank you for giving me the opportunity to say that to you in person.
Madam Speaker, these are incredibly difficult times right now.
And we'll leave it on that note.
Thank you so much for joining us.
I'm going to leave it on the vote that you are not right on this wolf, and I hate to say that to you.
Again, the problem is Wolf Blitzer.
Wolf Blitzer, who just dismantled you, and she knows she just got dismantled because she doesn't have an answer for Wolf Blitzer, a CNN host.
She got her ears boxed in by a CNN host, and he's not even trying.
It gets worse.
Watch this.
But I feel confident about it, and I feel confident about my colleagues, and I feel confident in my chairs.
It's not about me.
It's about millions of Americans who can't put food on the table, who can't pay the rent.
And we represent them.
And we represent them.
It sounds like she's saying we resent them.
That's what I hear.
I'm hearing.
And we resent them.
And you do.
She does resent the people she's supposed to be helping.
These long food lines that we're seeing.
I know you.
We know them.
I'm just saying.
We represent them and we know them.
As we say.
We know them.
We represent them.
Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good, as they say.
It is nowhere near perfect.
Madam Speaker.
It's always the case, but we're not even close to the good.
All right, let's see what happens because every day is critically, critically important.
Thanks so much for joining us.
I am sensitive to them because I see them on the street begging for food, begging for money.
Madam Speaker, thank you so much.
We feed them.
So now, who sounds like Trump talking to a journalist?
Nancy Pelosi.
As soon as she got asked a question, she turns into Donald Trump.
Do you understand these people are Donald Trump?
Keith Oberman is Donald Trump.
Nancy Pelosi is Donald Trump.
Adam Schiff is Donald Trump.
People who are triggered by Donald Trump have Donald Trump in their shadow.
That's who these people are.
She's exactly Donald Trump.
She's a corrupt oligarch who's in bed with warmongers.
She's a war criminal herself, and she wants to deny you help.
She's certainly helping with denying you health care in the richest country in the world.
They're all Donald Trump.
They're all Donald Trump.
And of course, she wants Julian Assange prosecuted.
They're all Donald Trump.
And if you think voting for Joe Biden or Nancy Pelosi does you any bit of good, who's being naive, Kay?
Right now, we have a, couldn't it be a bigger crisis in America?
And what is Nancy Pelosi doing?
Nothing.
Hey, where are the richest voters' districts in The United States.
I'm going to guess her district.
Silicon Valley.
Number seven, District 12 of California.
Average per capita income, $52,031.
Representative Democratic Representative Nancy Pelosi.
It's the seventh richest district in the country.
California's 12th district includes the city of San Francisco.
Pelosi ranks as the eighth wealthiest member of Congress with an average net worth of $100 million.
Naive and self-destructive big Democratic donors back Nancy Pelosi and warn that funding will be cut in half if she's pushed out.
Anyone who's praising Nancy Pelosi after the shameful interview with Wolf Blitzer is as out of touch as she is.
The people need relief right now, and she is playing politics instead of making a deal.
That is exactly right.
Pelosi is a bigger obstacle to progress than just about anybody else, like easily worse than Trump.
Easily.
Because people think that she's actually better than Trump, and she's not.
So she gets away with being worse, just like Barack Obama got away with being worse than George Bush.
George Bush started two wars.
Barack Obama took us from two to seven.
Barack Obama dropped more bombs than George Bush.
Did you know that?
So many, they ran out of bombs one year.
Didn't know that, did you?
Did you know Barack Obama put kids in cages before Donald Trump?
He gassed immigrants at the border.
Did you know that?
Okay, so there is, and you know that Blue Check Hollywood's going to go batshit over that.
They're going to love, oh, yes, Queen.
Wolf Blitzer's now the problem.
Wolf Blitzer, who asked a fucking question, is now the problem.
Is he a sexist too, Nancy?
Hey, maybe ask your daughter.
I bet Wolf Blitzer's a sexist because he asked you a question.
Everything is in sexism.
In fact, almost nothing Nancy Pelosi has said is sexism actually is.
Certainly her daughter doesn't know what sexism is and is worse than a sexist.
Christine Pelosi is worse than a sexist because she will use a false allegation of sexism to cover for criminal corrupt behavior, which makes Christine Pelosi worse than a sexist.
That's how I feel about journalism.
Like when they write a smear piece about me in CNN or the Washington Post or somebody with an MSNBC contract, you don't get to judge me.
I judge you.
I'm here to judge you, you fucking piece of shit.
I don't take your judgment.
I judge you.
Journalism is bankrupt.
Not YouTube fucking comedians.
Journalism is bankrupt.
Politicians are bankrupt.
Not YouTube comedians.
You get to judge me.
I judge you.
Hey, you know, we no longer have an Amazon link because we're not doing that.
We're not playing that game.
But here's another great way you can help support the show: you become a premium member.
We give you a couple of hours of premium bonus content every week, and it's a great way to help support the show.
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We give you lots of bonus content.
Thanks for your support.
Hello, this is Jimmy.
Who's this?
Jimmy, it's Senator Chuck Schumer.
Oh, hi, Senator.
Jimmy, did you see the interview with Speaker Pelosi on CNN when Wolf Blitzer was interviewing?
I did, Senator.
I saw that.
Yes.
Well, that went off the rails, didn't it?
I couldn't agree more.
Real train wreck.
My thoughts, exactly.
I couldn't believe the arrogance and entitlement displayed there.
Yeah, she did not come off looking very good.
No, he did not.
Wait, she, what the fuck?
I meant Wolf Blitzer.
No, I meant Nancy Pelosi.
She was monstrous.
How dare you?
How dare you defend Wolf Blitzer's tactics?
You're an apologist for an apologist.
Cool.
You know, that means literally nothing.
And what do you mean tactics?
He was asking questions of an elected official who was answerable to the people.
Okay, first of all, Nancy Pelosi is answerable to nobody.
She is a queen.
Yes, queen.
You better recognize snip, snap, snip.
I'm doing that Z thing in the air.
And second of all, okay, I forgot what I was going to say.
I got dizzy from all that snapping.
You know, America's literally begging for another stimulus, and she's offended that she was asked questions about it.
Sorry, Senator Schumer, but that's ridiculous.
Jimmy, are you involved in the negotiations?
No, I'm not in Congress.
Right, and neither is Wolf Blitzer.
So why don't you both just sort of stand aside and let the grown-ups do the talking?
Really?
Wow.
Just try and put on your big boy pants.
Be quiet.
And if you're good, Nancy might just give you a lolly.
This condescension and contempt for the voters, do you find this to be a good tactic, Chuck?
I mean, in the long run.
You're not a New York resident.
What do I give a shit?
I live in California, though, where Speaker Pelosi is actually from.
Yeah, but do you live in her district?
No, I'm in Pasadena.
Then who cares what you think?
You work for the American people.
You're supposed to help us.
We decide what you need.
You don't boss us around.
We boss you around.
We make the laws.
Us.
We are important people.
Don't ever forget that.
The gall of you lot, asking questions.
Man, you are really, I mean, I'm kind of.
Oh, am I steaming your clams over there?
Well, tough shakes.
Have yourself an entire clam bake for all I care.
I'll bring the drawn butter.
Yeah, I'm pretty angry, Senator Schumer.
We need you to stand up for us and stand up to Trump, especially if he wins again.
Wait, Trump could win again?
Yeah, that's a distinct possibility, especially if voters feel abandoned by the Democratic politicians and feel that they are viewed with contempt by the powerful.
Really?
Then they'd vote for Trump?
Yeah, that's what happened in 2016, Chuck.
Oh, you're right.
I had completely forgotten.
Jimmy!
You know what?
I take back what I said.
The welfare of the American citizen is our top priority, and we will never stop fighting for them.
You have my word.
Can I have Speaker Pelosi's word, too?
Don't push it.
Yeah.
I went on Tucker to talk to the president last night, and this is what's happening.
So get this.
America's longest war, a visual history of 18 years in Afghanistan.
The visual history should just be somebody shrugging and going, why the fuck are we there?
And this picture, by the way, this picture's back from 2002.
That's when the Afghanistan war was just an infant.
It was just learning, it's just getting its teeth and learning how to walk.
Now it's a sophomore in college.
Top general.
So this is what I went on to talk about on Tucker Carlson.
The top general declines to endorse Trump's Afghan withdrawal timeline.
Tonight, there are ominous signs that the military is openly defying our system of civilian control.
Today, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Mark Milley, broke with the White House's plan to lower troop levels in Afghanistan to 2,500.
That's a plan that both the public and common sense both demand.
Milley said he's going to conduct his own rigorous analysis of the situation.
Again, aren't civilians supposed to be in control of the military?
Jimmy Dore has thoughts about this.
He's the host of the Jimmy Doer show, and we're happy to have him with us tonight.
Jimmy, thanks so much for coming on.
So I guess it doesn't, I mean, I hope that I'd be principled enough that if a president I despised, you know, if Elizabeth Warren were president, that I would be as offended by this as I am now because it's an attack on our system, a system that we should probably keep a pretty good hold on.
What's your view of it?
Well, I think it's great that when a president orders a troop withdrawal, that's up for negotiation with anybody in the military.
That's just sound crazy.
Maybe Mark Milley is one of these resistance grifters and he's writing a book he's planning on selling to those resistance people.
Now he stood up against Trump trying to end a war because that's what it seems like.
Donald Trump, you have to end some of these wars.
You have to pull these troops home now.
He's the commander in chief.
There's no excuses.
People are sick and tired of these wars.
And he's got to take on the establishment, Tucker.
That's what won him the election in 2016.
You know, in the primary, Trump was able to smash the Bush dynasty and the Republican status quo.
And now he can't handle a few military war hawks and Mitch McConnell.
I say he can.
You know, he promised.
Why he got elected was he promised to give everybody health care and end those oversea wars and invest that money back home.
Well, right now, President Trump, there are millions and millions of Americans who don't follow you on Twitter who are hurting, who needs a check right now.
And take those troops home.
Give that money to the people.
If Nancy Pelosi offers $1,200, you double it.
Put your name on that check.
People need help right now.
Do you know how weak it looks that you're trying to position yourself as a victim to Nancy Pelosi and take those troops home, take that money, put it in a stimulus check, give it to the people right now.
Ty, the time is ticking.
Now is, you know, if he would have given us health care, he missed his moment.
They're going to, whoever gives the American people health care, they're going to put on Mount Rushmore.
He missed that.
Now it's time to take those troops home and invest that money back here.
Now, people are hurting.
Tell the Senate, the GOP and the Senate and Mitch McConnell to do their job and get a stimulus to the people and he'll put his name on it.
Whatever Nancy Pelosi offers, double it.
That's what Trump would have done in 2016.
He needs to do that now.
I just find it so hilarious.
You're a lefty who I'm sure is not voting Trump, who's giving him better advice than any Senate, than almost any Senate Republican, any Congressional Republican, any Republican in Washington.
I think you're absolutely right.
Jimmy Dore, thank you for that.
My pleasure.
Anytime.
So that's why I go on Tucker Carlson.
I know the president watches that show and he's listening to the wrong people, of course.
And I think it was important to get that message out there.
And, you know, he's obviously listening to Larry Kudlow and the Stephen Millers and the morons, you know, the Steve Mnuchins, the people who he got elected by running against.
He got elected running against those guys he's now listening to.
And so when I got the invitation to come on and talk about this, this Millie, this General Milley, who's the commander of the Joint Chiefs, him wanting to put the brakes on with Trump withdrawing troops.
I was like, this is the perfect.
And these two things go together perfectly.
Ending the wars, giving money to people back home.
They go together perfectly.
So that's why I went on.
I think Tucker has the biggest show on the biggest conservative news show in America.
So I would like, I appreciate the opportunity to talk to half the country.
And it's funny, you know, when people see me on Tucker and they come over to my show and they were like, wow, wow, I thought I hated all the lefties and progressives, but you're not.
You're not a, you actually tell the truth.
I disagree with your policies, but I like that you're truthful.
And I think that's what we have to get to.
And we have to be able to join forces on things that we agree with.
Just like Bernie worked with Mike Lee on Yemen.
Anybody who's anti-war wants to stop war, let's work together to stop war.
Mitt Romney's on the phone.
I hope he doesn't call me his main damny jammy and ask me, what up, Buppity Bup?
Hello.
Oh, hi, my main Dammy Jammy.
What up, Buppity Bup?
So stupid.
Hello, Senator.
Oh, why so formal, dude?
This is Milliard DeMitt Mitten's rom-com to bomb to Dash Shit Romney here.
Kick your shoes off and relax, Max.
How are you, Senator Romney?
I'm just a tad myth, Jimmy, or as you people on the street might say, totally fucking raged.
Would you like to know why, my friend?
No, I'm okay with not knowing.
You don't have to tell me.
Honest.
I'll tell you anyway, you big asshole.
So sit the fuck down and shut up.
This incivility is killing me.
I wholeheartedly condemn the vituperative, vile, hate-filled morass that dominates our political discourse today, you scum-sucking commie pig.
It's very noble of you, Mitt.
Thank you, Jimmy.
It's unbecoming of any free nation.
It's time to put our hate-filled morass behind closed doors again, where it's easy to get away with calling 47% of Americans a bunch of freeloading parasites.
That's the vain capital way.
Yeah, does that mean you're coming out against Donald Trump's policies?
Oh, gosh, no.
I wish he'd stopped being so gauche about it.
He's giving a bad look to greed.
Gated communities aren't just to keep poor people from getting in.
They're to keep embarrassing things from getting out.
Take that Jeffrey Epstein thing, for instance.
That guy crossed the line, so we had to take him out.
Wow, you had him taken out.
Yeah, we took him out to dinners, ball games, all the best parties.
Big expense account.
But he had this address book.
You can't keep an address book.
Who keeps address books now?
So we had to kill him.
Wow.
You had him killed.
I don't wish to speak ill of a former CIA confidant, Jimmy.
I'm just glad that address book never turned up.
It's all over the internet, Mitt.
Not in Utah, my friend.
We don't look at bad things here.
That's why Donald Trump is pulling ahead of me in my home state right now.
Did you know that?
No.
But they'll think different once my colleague Joe Biden is elected.
They'll come back to me with their tails between their legs like a million cage dogs on the roof of a station wagon.
I'm their only hope for Utawnean normalcy.
Are you going to endorse Joe Biden or Donald Trump?
Only when it's strategically advantageous, my friend.
So I'll endorse Joe on even days and Donald on odd days.
No size, as we used to say, at good old Cranbrook.
How would you like Americans to vote this November, Mitt?
I urge every American to vote their conscience.
Then at the last second, vote their worst perverted fears.
Doodles, you scum-sucking commie, and stop the hate-filled morass, Jimmy.
Less morass, not more morass.
Ha ha ha ha ha!
So there's a new poll that came out.
This is real.
Obamas are the most admired man and women in the world.
That's from September 25th.
Look at the woman who wrote that.
What a name.
Celine Gastronuavo.
Gastronuovo.
I love that.
Castranuovo.
That's nice.
She didn't want to just be Castro.
I get it.
It'd be like, my name is Celine Hitleriovo.
Not just Hitler.
It's Hitler Riovo.
Right.
I like it.
So Obama's the most admired man in the world, but guess what?
He shouldn't be.
The kind of politics we have now, where the left is represented by this kind of Obama-Macron-style centrism, where you're both for the market and for bureaucracy at the same time, is kind of horrible, right?
The only possible appeal of that kind of politics is, well, at least they're not Nazis, right?
So what they want is the left to be this kind of mishmash of bureaucratic market centrism and the right to be outright fascist.
To set the ball rolling in an actual left direction will make that centrism look like utterly unappealing.
And friends, sometimes they talk about the extreme center, and I think that's a fitting phrase.
It strikes me that what's called the moderates are the most immoderate people possible.
And the reason why they're so uncompromising, I think, is because they realize they don't have a lot of positive arguments.
They're not really for anything.
I mean, somebody like Obama, the reason he worked was because he looked like the kind of guy who would have a vision.
He acted like a visionary.
He had the intonation.
He had the way of standing and looking into the distance like he really believed in something.
And it shows you something about just how much visionary politics has been killed.
It didn't even seem to occur to people to ask what his vision actually was, right?
Because it turns out, insofar as he had a vision, his vision was not to have a vision.
You know, he believed in pragmatism and compromise and so forth.
And that's what the center has been reduced to.
It's become this pure set of performative symbols.
And at the same time you get to feel morally superior, which is ultimately what centrism, what liberal centrism is all about, is the ability to feel better than other people.
So there is a kind of a...
And that's what centrism and neoliberalism is all about, to make themselves feel superior to someone else.
And that's what it is.
Their smugness flies right the fuck off them.
It flies right off them.
They can't conceal it.
They can't help it.
It's who they are.
What liberal centrism is all about, is the ability to feel better than other people.
So there is a kind of a symbiosis whereby the right wing pretend to be stupid, like George Bush II sort of perfected this.
Like, I'll act like a yokel.
All of the liberals will make fun of me as an idiot.
Everybody who resents the sort of cultural elite for having monopolized all the good jobs will look at them sneering at me and say, yeah, I bet those guys feel the same way about me as they feel about Bush.
I'll vote for Bush.
Ha ha ha.
Stick it to him, right?
You know, that shtick.
Trump is just doing it in a more extreme version of the same thing.
Johnson's doing the same thing.
You know, you act like an idiot.
The people who are sort of educated elite make fun of you and it works.
Now, who's really the idiot, right?
People keep falling for the same stupid trick over and over and over again.
There's a symbiotic relationship between these centrists, who are just sort of sneering elitists, and these guys who are the scam artists who pretend to be yokels, who pretend to be idiots, pretend to be fascists.
They're not even real fascists.
They're kind of phony fascists.
They are trying to set up a situation where those are the only two viable political choices because they both feed off and complement one another.
So Obama's the most admired man in the world, but guess what?
He shouldn't be.
And I'm going to give you some of the reasons why he shouldn't be.
Well, he led drone strikes that kill 90% of innocent people.
So that's true.
So Barack Obama was a terrorist.
He would kill people, innocent people with drones.
Imagine if you're sitting in your house and all of a sudden a bomb came out of that sky and killed you and your family.
That's what Barack Obama did.
And they killed your kids and stuff.
That's what Barack Obama did on the regular.
Nine out of ten times, they killed innocent people.
That's called terrorism.
Well, Obama's not enough votes for labor, so he didn't help.
So he was supposed to help unions and he didn't.
Didn't help unions get card checked.
That's a thing that helps people get to form a union easier.
Didn't help them.
Dear Americans, this law makes it possible to arrest and jail you indefinitely anytime.
Thank you.
That's Barack Obama's raw.
Barack Obama repealed habeas corpus, section 1021 of the NDAA.
Subheadline, terrorism may not be the worst threat to freedom that we face.
Hey, how about did they prosecute the banks, though?
The banks that crashed our economy.
Oh, Eric Holder admits some banks are just too big to put it.
Do you see why Barack Obama should not be the most admired man?
He did nothing except hurt America.
Hey, the U.S. just agreed to give Israel $38 billion in military aid.
They have Medicare for all in Israel.
FYI.
White House distances itself from Glass-Deagle push.
So they wanted people, you know, the thing that caused the crash in 2008.
They wanted to fix that thing.
Barack Obama did not want to fix that thing.
Why?
Because Wall Street told them they didn't want to fix it.
Just bail us out when it happens again.
Okay.
Obama's foreclosure relief program was designed to help bankers, not homeowners.
That's by Dave Dayon.
And that's a fact.
So if you read that article, it shows you that it wasn't a goof that homeowners didn't get any protection during the economic crash.
That was a feature.
Barack Obama wrote that bill in a way that screwed homeowners on purpose.
So if you'd have to read that, they're not going to hear that on PBS or CNN or MSNBC or ABC.
You'd have to read an actual article and find out the facts or watch this show.
But you're never going to find that out in the general atmosphere because they're not going to report it on Fox because Fox also beholden to the establishment and the banks and Wall Street, just like Barack Obama, just like MSNBC, Just like CNN.
CNN.
President Obama signed an 8.7 billion food stamp cut into law.
So he kicks 5.1 million families out of their house and then he cuts their food stamps.
Sounds like Trump.
I wonder how we got Trump.
Do you see why Barack Obama should not be the most admired man?
So he was basically Trump light and nobody knew it.
He was also the deporter in chief, deported more Mexicans than any other president combined.
Obama expands Monsanto's doctrine by signing Dark Act and invalidating Vermont GMO labeling law.
Doesn't that sound like something Trump would do?
Invalidate a local law protecting people from a harmful corporation.
No, that was Obama did that.
Isn't that awesome?
Hey, revealed how the FBI coordinated the crackdown at Occupy.
That means Barack Obama did that.
Barack Obama's in charge of the FBI.
That's who did that.
New documents prove what was once dismissed as paranoid fantasy totally integrated corporate state repression of dissent.
Totally integrated corporate state repression of dissent.
New documents prove what was once dismissed as paranoid fantasy totally integrated corporate state repression of dissent.
Hey, Obama administration's $1 billion arms deal aids Saudis' brutality in Yemen.
So Barack Obama helped commit a genocide in Yemen.
90% innocent people.
Do you understand why he shouldn't be the most admired man?
That this is complete fiction.
This is a PR.
He's created by public relations, Barack Obama.
Obama's final arms export tally more than doubles George Bush's.
Most of the $278 billion in improved sales have gone to Saudi Arabia.
Foreign military sales under President Obama.
Whoa!
This is the post-World War II average.
He was above the post-World War II average incredibly his whole administration, his whole term.
The U.S. is running out of bombs to drop.
Did you know that Barack Obama dropped so many bombs?
He dropped more bombs than George Bush.
He ran out of bombs.
They literally run out of bombs.
Obama drops 100,000 bombs on eight different countries and gets voted the most admired man.
Meanwhile, Julian Assange is literally dying in prison because he dared reveal U.S. war crimes to the world, and the corporate media is cheering it on.
So now do you get why he shouldn't be the most admired man?
He should be in prison.
He's a war criminal.
Here he is.
I hear you.
Here he is in Flint.
Ready?
Can I get some water?
No.
Come on up here.
I want a glass of water.
Bottle water.
I want a glass of water.
Come on, son of that.
This is a feisty crowd.
You mean there are a feisty crowd that's being poisoned.
Yes, we're being gaslit right now.
Look at those people.
What?
He wet his lips.
He did not drink it.
He didn't sip it.
He lit his lips.
There was an audible gasp in the audience.
People were just like absolutely dejected.
Why would you do that?
I am sure that somewhere when I was two years old, I was taking a chip of paint, tasting it, and I got some lid.
Yeah, that's like talking about like, well, I didn't wear a seatbelt and I'm fine.
It's like, but there were tons of people that died.
Backstage, the president, sitting at the table with the criminal governor, decided to perform his stunts all over again.
You know, generally, I have not been doing stunts here, but, you know.
That's not what I expected.
That's what Snyder did.
It felt like he minimized like what people are actually going through and struggling with.
If you were actually lead poison, you would not be president.
You would be janitor Barack Obama.
We were holding on to hope that he would declare a disaster.
A disaster would give us FEMA.
It would give us hype replacement.
Get engineers in here.
Then we could get Medicare for all the residents of Flint.
As soon as he took a drink of the water and said, everything's fine, that was, that was that.
And look at it.
Years later, it's still poison.
When he came here, it was my president.
but when he left, he was not my president.
Amen.
Thank you.
And now you know the rest of the story.
Barack Obama poisoned those people.
He left them high and dry.
He protected the criminal who poisoned them.
Barack Obama is a war criminal.
He slaughtered innocent people.
90% of the people he killed were innocent.
Barack Obama jailed and tortured Chelsea Manning.
Barack Obama tortured Chelsea Manning.
Barack Obama tried every which way to figure out a way to prosecute Julian Assange and he couldn't.
Barack Obama didn't prosecute whistleblowers.
I mean, didn't prosecute actual war criminals and torturers.
Who did he prosecute?
Whistleblowers, Journalists.
Barack Obama is Donald Trump with black skin.
And I'll challenge fucking anybody to that debate.
He should not be the most admired man.
Barack Obama is the more insidious evil than Mitt Romney.
He was the more insidious evil than John McCain.
Just like Bill Clinton was the more insidious evil than George Herbert Walker Bush and Bob Dole.
So you think you're voting for the lesser of two evil, and I have news for you.
You're wrong.
It's the greater evil.
Hey, Joe Biden's on the line again.
Hello.
Hey, it's Wade.
Yes, I'm Joe Biden.
Vote for the Joe Biden show on the day with the election.
Do it.
030330.
Hey, see the latest poll.
The one showing your 50-point lead over Donald Trump with college students?
Yeah, but there's also one showing my 50-point lead over Trump with college students.
That's one.
That's good news for you, huh Joe?
Kids, they like Joe.
I know what those kids went through, Jack.
I'm the first Joe Biden in a thousand generations of Biden to ever lie about going to college.
And boy, I tell you, me and the boys really had some rage parties over at Tobin's.
It was all good and it was all good fun.
Not like some of those kids today whining about this shit and that shit.
I got no empathy for them.
Are you giving the youth of America any hope?
Like I said back in 1858, a nation divided against itself cannot stand.
Folks, I know my opponent has a tendency to stray from the truth.
But if you elect me, you'll never have to worry about hearing the truth again.
Yeah.
Like I said in Matthew 19, it's more painful to get a needle through your eye than for a Campbell to find a decent veterinarian on Sunday.
Happy Columbine Day, jerk.
No, it's Columbus Day.
Come on, man.
I'm ready to fight for you and our nation every day.
Without exception, without reservation, with a full and devoted heart.
Well, thank you.
That sounds reassuring.
However.
However, what, Joe?
Nothing.
You'll find out.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Hey, you know there's a lot more to that phone call, but we don't have time in today's podcast.
How do you hear the entire phone call?
You got to become a premium member.
Go to JimmyDorkomedy.com, sign up.
It's the most affordable premium program in the business.
Today's show is written by Ron Placone, Mark Van Landowitz, Dep Zamorano, Jim Earle, Mike McRae, and Roger Rittenhouse.
All the voices performed today by the one and the only of the inimitable, Mike McRae, who can be found at MikeMcRae.com.
That's it for this week.
Let you be the best you can be, and I'll keep being me.
Don't break out.
Don't freak out.
Don't freak out.
I'm not getting it.
Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, bring out.
Don't you, don't, you, you, don't, don't, do not freak out.
Do not freak.
Don't freak out.
Do not, do not, do not.
Do not freak.
Do not freak.
Do not freak out.
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