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April 9, 2020 - Jimmy Dore Show
01:05:42
20200409_TJDS_20200409_Podcast
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Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program.
The Jimmy Dore Show.
Hi, this is Jimmy.
Who's this?
Jimmy, this is Dr. Anthony Fauci.
Hi, Dr. Fauci.
Thanks for calling in.
Sure.
I just wanted to avail myself in case you had any questions about the COVID-19 virus and where we stand now with that situation.
Oh, great.
Gary, I do have some questions.
Lay it on me, brother.
All right, can you speak about the effectiveness of this hydrochloroquine or keen or whatever as a treatment for coronavirus?
Yeah, yes, I can.
There is no evidence that that is an effective treatment for COVID-19, this current virus.
But some people are saying that it's helpful with malaria patients.
Yeah, that may be the case, Jimmy.
But all these fucking papers in front of me say COVID-19 on them, not malaria.
Unless there's been some seismic shifts in medical science that I'm not aware of, we don't treat one disease with the treatment for another disease.
We'll say, ah, here's your hydrochloroquine.
And just to be safe, better also take immodium AD and chemotherapy, right?
We don't fucking do that.
But Trump advisor Peter DeVaro says it's effective.
Is he a doctor?
No, but he says he's qualified to make that call because he's a social scientist.
Oh, well, in that case, a social scientist.
Why didn't you say so?
Let me tell you something, Jimmy.
The social sciences are there for people who want to go to college, get a degree, but not actually learn shit about fuck and still think they're a genius.
That's why universities have that shit on the menu.
So morons with money can buy a piece of paper that tells them they're smart.
It keeps the lights on.
The day I learned how to set a broken bone, I became more valuable to society than 10,000 of those worthless fucking blowhards combined, okay?
I'm a sociologist.
No, you're a fucking bozo.
Go have a seat in the back of the fucking room.
So what is an effective treatment, Dr. Fauci?
We don't know.
If we knew that, we'd have one and there wouldn't be dead motherfuckers all over the place.
Come on, Jimmy.
Get your head out of your ass.
Dr. Fauci, you have already made statements about how to prevent these types of outbreaks in the future.
Can you talk a little bit more about that?
Well, yeah, Jimmy, like I said, and I'm not trying to be culturally insensitive here, but these types of wet markets that we see in parts of Asia are a perfect breeding ground for these exact types of novel viruses.
Jimmy, normally in nature, animals of different species aren't all fucking hanging out together, you know.
But these markets over there, they're bananas.
They got pigs, dogs, birds, fucking lizards and snakes, exotic shit, pangolins, goats, all in the same place, all just fucking around together.
I mean, what is this?
An illustrated children's book?
The Way We Made a Pandemic by Richard Scary.
Uh-oh, Bobby Batt just took a shit in Peter Pig's feed trough.
Boy, oh boy, are we fucked, said Lowly Worm.
That's right, Loli.
We are fucked.
Okay, Dr. Fauci, but who are we to tell China how to run their food supply system?
Isn't that sort of cultural imperialism on our part?
Jimmy, I have no idea.
I'm the guy who says what the science is.
I'm that fucking guy.
That's my job.
Whoever the guy is whose job is to convey this information to China without upsetting Chinese people, he's in a different department from me, okay?
And I don't know who he is.
Maybe a social scientist.
Get one of those fucks on the case.
Either way, the term cultural imperialism or whatever doesn't live in my house.
You understand?
I'm sorry, but it's hard to tiptoe with all this fucking weight on my shoulders.
I see.
Jimmy, how are you holding up?
How's Brownie?
He's good.
Is he being a comfort to you and your wife during all this?
He absolutely is a comfort.
Yeah, they're the best at that, aren't they?
These little fucking dogs.
Are you still living off the Sevenbuka and White Castles?
Yeah.
But since it looks like we might actually live through this, I switched from cheeseburger to plane.
You know, there's a big difference in calories.
It's huge.
I mean, what's in that fucking cheese they're putting on it.
So now you think we'll make it through?
I mean, if everybody stops fucking around, stays the fuck home.
Yeah, we'll get through this.
You staying at home?
You better believe it, brother.
Yeah, I know this is hard for you.
I know you want to be outside yelling at people's faces or whatever the fuck you do.
But you got to stay in.
Be smart.
Got any other questions you want to know about?
Do you know if the president watches our show?
Oh, no, he doesn't even know how to find it.
Okay, that's right.
It's on that's right.
He doesn't already use the internet.
He's a fucking moron.
Thanks for coming on, Dr. Fauci and Ginton.
Stay safe.
Okay, you too.
Don't be a fucking moron.
Establishment media sets of arts fighting.
So good luck.
Watch and see as a jack dog.
Comedian speeds and jumps comedium and hits him head-on.
It's the Jimmy Door show.
Everybody, welcome to this week's Jimmy Door show.
Hey, let's get to the jokes before we get to the jokes because there are some jokes.
I don't know if you know, but exit polls.
This is breaking news.
Exit polls reveal that Joe Biden is capturing the coveted Just Infected demo.
Come on.
Andrew Cuomo's prison has the highest infection rate in the world.
Democrats are right.
He really knows how to lead at everything.
Joe Biden wants you to go to the polls and vote, but he doesn't think you have the right to go to the doctor for free when it makes you deathly ill.
Hey, what's coming up on today's show?
Bernie departs from the campaign trail, and Donald Trump ends up telling the truth about it.
Plus, progressive media starts criticizing AOC and Bernie.
Plus, Joe Rogan exposes Democrats denying Biden's dementia.
AOC's subservience to Nancy Pelosi and the Democratic Party gets exposed.
Plus, we got phone calls today from Dr. Fauci, Mitt Romney, Jeb Bush, and Rick Perry, plus a lot more.
That's today on the Jimmy Dore Show.
Oh, wow, Rick Perry's calling me.
Hello.
Alexa, turn on the phone to Jimmy Dore, please, and reverse the charges.
Hello, Rick.
We haven't heard from you in quite a while.
How are you, Mr. Former Governor Rick Perry, former Secretary of Energy?
Jimmy, did you see me on Tucker?
I was on the Tucker Carlson yesterday talking about gas and all our energy.
We're in a glut.
The market's all glutted.
Gut is everywhere.
But what does this mean, Rick.
Oh, my gosh.
Are you blinded?
The world is coming apart, Jimmy.
I only hope some higher power can put Humpty Dumpty together again.
We are facing a total prolapse.
You mean collapse?
I'm telling you, we're on the verge of a massive collapse of oil prices.
And we worked so awful hard the past four years to make America number one oil and gas productioner in the world of cheap energy.
So you spent four years making America the largest producer of cheap gas and oil, and now you're upset that the market is full of cheap gas and oil.
Yeah.
Weird, isn't it?
I think it might have something to do with this virus that's going around.
Have you heard about it?
People aren't going out anymore, like to their waffle houses or their payday loan centers.
Why for is that, I ponder?
What do you suggest we do to save the oil industry, Rick?
I have a plan.
Oh, yeah.
The Surgeon General should announce that car exhaust kills the corollavirus.
But, you know, that doesn't sound safe, Rick.
Jimmy, our capacity is full.
There's too much Earl on the market.
How can you be so blind?
Americans have to start driving everywhere again.
Like when you get in a car and drive one block to walk your dog to the park, stuff like that.
I have other ideas to increase gas and Earl demand.
Like what?
Bring back the internal combustion blender and gas-powered vacuum.
I don't know why we ever got rid of those common household conveyances.
I just don't see how increasing gas emissions is going to help anybody, especially during a deadly pandemic, Rick, really.
We must help small businesses, Jimmy.
To many mom and pop, oil sale producers like Whiting Petroleum are going bankrupt.
We must get people out of their houses and back on the highways and byways of this great infections land of ours.
Are you with me?
Rick, I'm not going anywhere until we get a vaccine and it's safe again.
Oh, sure.
That's the common sense thing to say.
But what about the economy?
I put the word car in the word economy.
It wasn't a mistake.
You know, I make these malapropisms all the time.
It wasn't one of those.
A lot more people are going to die, Rick.
Do you know this?
That's why I'm wearing my win button, Jimmy.
With infections now.
Show us some spirit.
Let's get back on those roads again.
Our roads are in dangerous enough condition as it is.
You want us to burn more gas, too?
Come on, man.
Would you rather die in bed or behind the wheel of your Range Rover?
Nobody knows when our time will come, Jimmy, unless you're rich and you can isolate yourself from the rest of the population.
Rick, do you have any words of encouragement for people out there struggling through this pandemic?
Me?
No.
Siri, ask Magic A-Ball to end this call.
You may rely on it.
Thank you, Lord Jesus Sake, Ball.
Okay.
So what really happened?
So do you know Bernie is he's not going to campaign, but he's going to still let people vote for him going forward.
Now, just so you know, and again, I'm not going to, I don't think I'm going to yell today.
And I don't want to make anybody who is a Bernie Sanders fan feel bad today.
That's not the intention of this show.
But again, the intention of this show is always to tell you exactly what's happening, why it's happening, and what other people won't tell you.
Right?
And so I'm going to still do that today.
So I'm going to tell you why this stuff happened and what the ramifications are and what other people won't tell you.
Okay.
So just to start us off, here is what Donald Trump tweeted out.
And he said, Bernie Sanders is out.
Thank you to Elizabeth Warren.
If not for her, Bernie would have won almost every state on Super Tuesday.
This ended just like the Democrats and the DNC wanted.
Same as the crooked Hillary fiasco.
The Bernie people should come to the Republican Party.
Trade.
It's just amazing when a guy like Donald Trump could tell you a truth that MSNBC, CNN, nor the Bernie campaign or the Democratic Party will tell you.
That's what happened.
That's what happened.
Why did Elizabeth Warren Stay and everybody else dropped out?
That's why.
And so here we go.
This is a great cartoon that says it says Democrats choosing Biden.
They've put the knife right through themselves and they missed Trump.
So this is really what happened.
Bernie's not going to tell you that.
His campaign's not going to tell you that or whatever.
And nope, the Democrats aren't going to tell you that.
Rachel Maddow's not going to tell you that.
Chris Hayes certainly isn't going to tell you that, who's now repeating lies about Syria and the gas attacks again.
Chris Hayes, straight up propagandist, no matter what you think.
They're not going to tell you this.
The guy who's the biggest liar in DC, they say, is though.
Isn't that weird?
Two truly strange times.
As Nancy Pelosi is trying to stop Medicare, he's pushing for it.
It's truly strange times.
And what this guy, David Wolf, says, which is kind of interesting, he says the Democrats are now left with a candidate who often forgets the state he's in, the name of the president he served under, who his wife is and who his sister is, and even the name of the virus causing the pandemic.
What a disaster for them.
Do you know who that guy is?
That guy's an advisor for Donald Trump.
Or he's a, I don't know if he's an advisor.
He's connected with it.
But anyway, the point I'm showing you this is they're not going to pull punches on Joe Biden.
Do you think that Donald Trump isn't going to tell you that Joe Biden is demented and everybody in his campaign is going to tell you this?
Because they are.
Is MSNBC going to be able to protect Joe Biden going forward?
No.
Joe Biden is going to lose to Trump.
Why?
Because Trump is once again outlefting the Democrats, just like he outlefted Hillary Clinton.
He's outlefting Joe Biden.
He has now taken the first step towards Medicare for all.
Trump has.
Were the Democrats screaming for Medicare for all payments?
No.
Which makes it so much easier for Trump to outleft them.
And I just want to show you.
Here's Joe Biden.
And if you don't think he has dementia, here he is.
Somebody put this together from 2018 to now.
Just in two years.
Watch what happened.
Just in two years.
Watch what happened.
We don't always live up to it.
We've never given up on them.
Sounds corny, but we hold these truths self-evident.
And all men are created equal and bound by their creator.
We've never met it all, but we've never walked away from it.
We owe these truths to be self-evident.
All men and women were created by the go-you know the thing.
That's just in two years.
So I've told you what happened.
I'll Just briefly tell you what happened again.
And here I'll go with Kyle Kalinsky.
Kyle Kalinske says, one of the most pervasive establishment myths about Bernie is that he doesn't play ball.
Are you kidding?
He didn't lay a glove on the media.
He always said Biden is his friend and that he can beat Trump and he campaigns for Dems after they cheat him.
I wish Bernie gave zero fucks and took no prisoners.
So here's what I say.
The fundamental problem with Bernie and his campaign comes down to this.
His actual goal of his adult life is to make sure he doesn't end up like Ralph Nader.
That's the overarching concern.
That's it.
He told that Chris Hedges said that four years ago, that that's what Bernie's whole psychology is.
And Chris Hedges predicted this campaign in 2020 would be a shadow of the 2016 campaign.
He was right.
Which is why he wouldn't run a campaign.
So if your overarching goal of your adult life is to make sure you push for all the policies you want without ending up like Ralph Nader, without, meaning what that means is you're never going to use the power you have to threaten the establishment, which he never did, which is why he wouldn't run a campaign that could actually win.
He would not even critique Joe Biden's time at the White House or talk about his corruption.
And he threw people under the bus that actually did.
But he got his wish.
He'll never be as hated as Ralph Nader.
And the way he suspended his campaign, I say this about.
To suspend your campaign while remaining on the ballot is possibly the worst of all choices.
Either stay in or get out.
Now he's half out, but half in still.
So no one will be motivated to come out and vote for him.
So he'll get slaughtered even harder going forward.
And he'll look even weaker when he gets to the convention.
And then when they say Joe Biden has mental decline and we're going to replace him with Elizabeth Warren, Bernie doesn't have a case to make because they're going to say, look, you just got your ass handed to you in those half of the country's primaries because you weren't campaigning and you already told everybody you quit.
And they go, so you got, you're not even close.
So we can't give the nomination to somebody who got less than 30% of the.
We have to give it to someone else who's a struck.
Blah, blah, blah.
Look how Elizabeth Warren's polling.
And that's what they're going to.
That's my guess.
And maybe it won't be Elizabeth Warren.
Maybe she'll just end up in the cabinet.
But that's There's something There's a play there And And so that's all of it.
So that's why it happened.
And this is the ultimate consequence.
This is how, of course, that's how he's going to end the campaign, too.
Because when he's making decisions from day one, they were always out of fear.
And whenever you make a decision out of fear, it's always the wrong decision.
So their decisions weren't strong.
They weren't aggressive.
They were always reactionary.
They're always like, well, they won't like it if we do that.
They won't like it.
We're going to offend Joe Biden's voters if we do it.
And where do we go from here?
Well, Bernie Sanders knew what we had to do 25 years ago.
Here he is from, I'm not sure exactly.
This is from the 90s.
I think it might have been 95.
Here's Bernie Sanders 25 years ago.
But in the beginning, this is what would happen.
You had the Democratic candidate running for something, and the Republican candidate, historically, Vermont had been a Republican state, moderate Republican, not right-wing, and the Democrats.
And then we had a third party.
And what would happen is debate after debate, television program after television program, the progressive third-party people would, in fact, get the best response from the audiences.
And people would say, you know, you guys make a lot of sense.
And then you go up to them and say, you're going to vote for us?
And they say, oh, of course we're not going to vote for you.
You can't win.
You're going to vote for the Democrat.
You're a much better candidate.
Everything you're saying is true, but we can't waste our vote.
Waste our vote was the expression.
So if there's any term that drives me crazy, it's this quote-unquote waste our vote.
And that's what I've been told for the last five years or four years, that I wasted my vote when I voted my conscience and when I tried to encourage everyone else to vote their conscience.
And so we could actually have a third party that wasn't capable of winning, but capable of influencing the election.
Because if they polled at 5%, they would get matching funds, be on every ballot, and then they could be on the debate stage.
And so that's how we could have influenced instead of doing what we did once again, voted for Hillary and she lost.
And now Joe Biden's going to lose.
We could have did something.
We did nothing.
Nothing.
Everybody told me I was wrong.
But here's what Bernie says.
Here's what he says.
Watch this.
This is what he knew 25 years ago, but somehow he forgot.
Here we go.
Now, my own view, and it has been my view for many, many years, is that what we need in this country is what Jackson calls a rainbow coalition.
But it has to be done outside of the Democratic Party.
So he knows that.
Yet he did it inside the Democratic Party anyway.
And why is that?
That's because his overarching goal was to not be treated the way Ralph Nader got treated.
In fact, he went so far as to not return Ralph Nader's phone calls ever again after 2000.
They asked, so they asked Ralph Nader, you know, when you're running against, and you're going to be a spoiler or whatever they say, and you might, aren't you afraid it's going to ruin your legacy?
Ralph Nader, they said this too.
Aren't you afraid it's going to ruin your legacy?
And Ralph Nader says, my legacy, how are they going to ruin my legacy?
Are they going to repeal seatbelts?
That's what needs to happen.
We need to organize outside the Democratic Party.
You know, at this point, it would have been better for Bernie to run inside the Republican Party because they're actually more open to his ideas.
It was Nancy Pelosi who stopped direct cash payments.
It's Trump who's proposing a limited Medicare for all.
Not the Democrats, not Nancy Pelosi.
And by the way, so this is a fact, right?
So like at best, you get 27, 28% of the country that's Democrat.
At best, you get 27, 28% of the country that's Republican, which means there's an overwhelming majority of people who don't belong to any of the parties.
In fact, if in politics as of today, do you consider yourself Republican, Democrat, or independent trend since 2004?
30% Republicans, 36% Independents, 30% Democrats.
Look at that.
Here's how Trump dealt with the anointed one from the royalty of the Republican family.
This is how Trump dealt with him.
Seriously, it was a mistake.
So George Bush made a mistake.
We can make mistakes, but that one was a beauty.
We should have never been in Iraq.
While Donald Trump was building a reality TV show, my brother was building a security apparatus to keep us safe.
And I'm proud of what he did.
He's had the gall to go after He didn't say it.
He gives no fucks.
And that's what I should have seen Bernie Sanders do to Joe Biden.
That's right.
Hang out.
Here we go.
Let me finish this.
He's had the gallery to go after my mother.
That's not keeping me.
I won the lottery when I was born 63 years ago and looked up and I saw my mom.
My mom is the strongest woman I know.
She should have been running.
It's not about my family.
My mom is the strongest rubber.
should be running.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!
Bye.
Bye.
Thank you.
That's hilarious.
That's how he dealt with the anointed fucking successor.
So would you say that he was an outsider when he was running?
Yes.
You know why?
Because he was an outsider.
Why?
Because he didn't live in fucking D.C. He didn't fucking know those people.
He didn't give a shit about them.
Here's how he also dealt with Ted Cruz.
You are all talk and no action.
What I've seen up here.
I mean, first of all, this guy's a joke artist, and this guy's a liar.
You have a combination.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Factors, he can't...
There is, you are all talk and no action.
What I've seen up here.
I mean, first of all, this guy's a choke artist and this guy's a liar.
You have a conversation.
This guy always goes through.
You have a combination of factors.
He can't do it for the obvious reason and he can't do a statistical thing.
He doesn't know how to tell the truth.
He's beaten the shit out of two guys at fucking once.
He can't do it for obvious reasons and he can't do it because he can't tell the truth.
I can't.
Bam, bam.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
He squashed both of them.
A political novice fucking game show host who's wearing a raccoon on his head and he still beat them.
Here's how Bernie Sanders dealt with someone's corruption.
Here's how Bernie Sanders dealt with someone's repeated lying about top secret material about setting up a program that she was under an FBI investigation over it.
And people we know are in jail for lots less.
And here's how Bernie dealt with it.
Let me say something that may not be great politics, but I think the secretary is right.
And that is that the American people are sick and tired of hearing about your damn emails.
Thank you.
Me too.
Now, here's what somebody would say who actually wanted to become president would say.
Do we really think at a time like this, when we're going up against Donald Trump, that we should be nominating someone who's under FBI investigation again?
Should we really do that?
Someone who has a long litany of selling influence through the Clinton Foundation to foreign governments for arms sales?
Someone who's given $600,000 speeches to Walt.
This is the person you wanted to go up against corruption.
That's what someone would say who wanted to be president.
What someone who wanted to be friends with the people after the campaign would say is what the fuck he just said.
Because he don't want to be Ralph Nader.
He don't even return Ralph Nader's calls since 2000.
He wants to be someone's friend.
That's what a loser says, a feckless campaign.
Nur.
After Super Tuesday, all people wanted to know.
People who vote in the Democratic primary, all they wanted to know was could a Democrat be a decent person and beat Donald Trump.
Can they beat Donald Trump?
Well, you already know.
Everybody knows the only thing people know about Bernie's campaign is that Joe Biden is his good friend.
They know that.
And so when asked, so if someone asks you, hey, do you think Joe Biden can beat Donald Trump?
What you're supposed to say, if you want to be president, is the truth.
You don't even have to lie.
You tell the truth, which is hell no.
That's why I'm running.
We tried this experiment before.
Tried to run a Wall Street puppet who was a warmonger.
Joe voted for the Iraq war in every war before and since.
Look what they did to Libya.
They're trying to do it to Syria.
We're still in Afghanistan.
Two terms.
We stayed there.
That's what he should say.
We already tried this experiment.
They lost to Donald Trump.
That's why I'm running.
No, of course he can't beat them.
And of course, if it was me, I'd say, look at him.
He's a demented walking death rattle.
Can't even finish his sentence.
But you don't have to say that.
You don't even have to.
You could say, but he doesn't look good.
Joe doesn't look good.
He can't finish a sentence.
That's what he should say.
Yes.
So what is he going to say?
He's not even going to tell you the truth.
Because we all know that Joe Biden already lost to Donald Trump.
Donald Trump just gave everybody Medicare for fucking coronavirus.
Joe Biden still says no.
Hillary Clinton says, let him buy it.
We're out of bread.
Let's sell him cake.
Here's Bernie forfeiting the race.
And as I heard, I don't know.
I got this.
As Glenn Greenwald would say, this is a fastball down the middle, right over the plate.
This is when Bernie takes his home run swing because he sees it coming.
It's a hanging curveball.
Boom.
Supposed to take this fucking one and drill it.
And instead, he forfeits his campaign.
Do you think, say it is, Biden?
Do you think Biden can beat Trump?
I do.
Campaign is over.
When have you seen a presidential candidate go on a show and allow them to ask that question?
And then you say yes.
What kind of campaign is that?
That's kind of how nonsense is that.
That's nonsense.
That is someone who doesn't want to win.
Let down his movement.
You're letting down your movement.
You're letting down people who need Medicare for all.
You're letting down people who need student debt relief.
You're letting down people who want a clean environment.
You're letting down people who want a living wage, who want to go to college.
You have a responsibility to say, of course, Joe Biden's not going to beat Donald Trump.
And if you guys are serious about getting rid of Donald Trump, vote for me.
That's what you say.
He forfeited.
That's him forfeiting.
And here's how Chuck Schumer forfeits and Hillary Clinton forfeits.
Every blue-collar Democrat we will lose in Western PA.
We will pick up two, three moderate Republicans in the suburbs of Philadelphia.
And you can repeat that in Ohio and Illinois and Wisconsin.
Do you think, say it is, Biden?
You think Biden can beat Trump?
I do.
That's not how a grown-up, serious person runs in campaign.
He's not serious.
He's not serious.
That's not a serious candidate.
I don't know what else to say.
And so now it's time to pressure a guy like that because that's a guy who obviously can be pushed around.
And it's time for us to push him around.
It's time for us to get upset that he doesn't stick up for Julian Assange.
It's time for us to get upset that he's not going to use this moment right now to push his single, the solution to the problem right now, which would be Medicare for all.
I don't know what's going on.
I don't know.
He's still in the race because I guess the theory is that Joe Biden will melt down because he's mentally unstable.
He has the early mental decline.
Is that how you're supposed to?
I say he's demented.
I think that's what they're hoping for.
But even if that happens, they're going to jam someone else down our throats.
They're going to say Bernie didn't even get 40%.
He got less than half the vote.
He didn't even get 30%.
He didn't even get the votes.
We can't give it to a guy who didn't even get half the pledge deli.
He's not even halfway.
They're going to, there's no way.
No way.
So if and that's and if that happens, if Biden does devolve, you know, implode, and then the Democrats go looking for someone else, and that's when Bernie would have to say, okay, all my people are going to do something that you're not going to like, or there's going to be some social unrest.
You're not going to like it.
And that, and that's how you would have to.
But they know he'll never do that.
So if they thought he would do it, all he would have to do is threaten it.
But they know he never will.
So even if he did threaten it now, he has to follow through.
He has to do something at some point.
He has to do something so they will take him seriously.
Because right now they don't.
No one does.
He doesn't take himself seriously.
Is that a guy who takes himself seriously?
A guy who says that to a fuck what?
That's not a guy who takes his campaign seriously.
That's bullshit.
So, I mean, that's political malpractice.
That's Bernie giving up.
That's a guy who doesn't have the courage to return Ralph Nader's phone calls since the year 2000.
So it's time to start pressuring Bernie and everyone else who you like in government and people you don't like.
You know, I don't know why libertarians are letting Rand Paul off the hook on this one.
Maybe they're not.
Maybe they're not.
I know my friend Dave Smith isn't.
So maybe we'll have him back on.
Yeah, let's do that.
And I don't know why Republicans.
I don't know why the Tea Party people don't get it.
Because I think they don't know yet.
People haven't been really told what's happening.
And they certainly haven't been told by Bernie Sanders or the squad.
They've been told, look at this.
Hey, this isn't the bill we wanted, but we got all this shit for you.
We fought, and we got it for you.
We got it for you.
We got you $1,200.
Hey, you know, we no longer have an Amazon link because we're not doing that.
We're not playing that game.
But here's another great way you can help support the show: you become a premium member.
We give you a couple of hours of premium bonus content every week, and it's a great way to help support the show.
You can do it by going to jimmydoorcomedy.com, clicking on join premium.
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Hello.
Good news, Jimmy.
I have released myself from self-quarantine.
Oh, I'm happy to hear that, Mitt.
Yes, it was a difficult 14 days of complete isolation.
Save for my staff of 20 servants bringing me food and leaving meals in the airlock next to my safe room.
It was terrible.
My butler couldn't even personally dress me.
He had to send in a drone.
That sounds terrible.
I have suffered great hardships, but I have learned much from my journey, and I'm thankful to be reunited with my family in the east wing of my massive estate.
I'm glad you were able to return to your family, Mitt.
But out of an abundance of caution, I'm going to remain absent from accountability.
I mean the Senate.
I mean the public.
But do not fear.
For every week, my chauffeur will venture out into the streets to remind the 47% I still have enough money to buy their houses once they're foreclose upon.
Oh, that's very interesting, Mitt.
Oh, please call me Dr. Mitt.
I have an honorary doctorate from a religious school somewhere.
And during my long isolation, I had time to develop various treatments and cures for COVID-19 that you might be interested in.
For example, did you know if you put a vacuum cleaner hose over your nose, it'll suck out your sinuses?
Why would you do that?
I really can't remember anymore.
Something about the virus.
Here's another tip.
The virus hates heat.
You don't want to make the virus mad, do you?
So do what I did.
Stick your head in the freezer and breathe in like there's no fucking tomorrow.
Any other tips?
Yes.
I encourage a chaste and virtuous lifestyle.
That means no sex before marriage, no sex after marriage, and above all, no sex during sex.
But how are people.
How are people supposed to procreate?
Like they've always done with their nannies.
Jimmy, if I may, I'd like to express my condolences for your movement now that Bernie Sanders has dropped out of the race.
He was a good man.
You thought he was a good man?
Let me finish.
He was a good man to call a toxic enabler of communist dictators.
Why?
Because he never fought back.
It was so perfect.
I mean, when Joe Biden gets the best of you in a debate, that's fucking pathetic.
Yeah.
How are you going to pay for Medicare for all Bernie?
Oh, gee.
How are you paying for Romney Care now, you demented hair-sniffing finger rapist?
Yeah.
That's how it would have answered.
Say, here's an idea.
Come on over to the Republican Party, guys.
At least over here, you're allowed to tell party leaders To go fuck themselves.
Kind of.
Ta-ta, Jimmy.
If I were you, I'd take a hot shower and call the cops.
So Joe Rogan, you know, he endorsed Bernie Sanders.
And when he endorsed Bernie Sanders, Bernie Sanders put that out on his Twitter, and they touted it because the whole thing about why you got to elect, you got to nominate a moderate is because moderate can get you could get independents to vote for you, right?
That's the whole thing.
Oh, they can get independents.
You got to get the independents to swing the election.
Well, if there's anybody who represents the independents, it's Joe Rogan, right?
And his audience, right?
And so here's what he said about Joe Biden.
This is the real issue with the Democratic Party.
They've essentially made us all morons.
Yeah.
With this Joe Biden thing.
They really have.
Give me some morons.
Who do we need?
I mean, I'm going to vote for that guy.
I can't vote for him.
I can't vote for him.
I can't vote for Trump.
I'd rather vote for Trump than him.
I don't think he can handle anything.
I mean, you're relying entirely on his cabinet.
Like, if you want to talk about an individual leader that can communicate, he can't do that.
And we don't even know what the fuck he's going to be like after a year in office.
So that's what Joe Rogan says.
And now, which is what you remember all the people saying, I won't vote for Bernie?
Do you remember when Donny Deutsch on MSNBC said, I'm going to vote for Trump if Bernie's the nominee?
Do you remember that?
I remember that.
People have been saying that left and right.
But now, because someone's said, I'm not going to vote for a guy who's obviously demented and can't finish his sentence.
And you're all making us into morons.
We're all supposed to go, yeah, let's vote for the guy who's basically mentally deficient, who's not all there.
And we're all supposed to go along with this?
Like, that's how corrupt the Democratic Party is.
That's how broken and calcified they are.
And he's like, I can't fuck.
You're not going to make a sucker out of me.
And he's right.
He's 100% right.
And I mean, I'm not going to vote for Trump.
I'm going to vote for the Peace and Freedom Party person, probably.
Jose says, remember how the Bernie campaign was flaunting the Joe Rogan endorsement?
Well, it turns out that Joe Rogan would rather vote for Trump over Biden.
Considering how close the Bernie campaign was to Rogan, it seems important for Bernie, or at least his campaign, to issue a statement.
Yeah, Bernie's got to make sure he's a good little boy.
He's a good little Democrat.
Bernie's got to make sure he's a good little Democrat.
Oh, I can't believe someone would vote for somebody else.
So what Kakow Kalinsky says is, yes, Bernie must apologize for Biden being so weak that swing voters preferred Trump over him.
Because that's what that reveals.
That swing voters are going to vote for Trump over Biden.
That's what that reveals.
You can't run a guy who's obviously demented.
Just because your media won't talk, just because Chris Hayes and Rachel Maddow are fucking bought and sold for, they won't fucking tell you that he's demented.
Just because they won't tell you that doesn't mean he isn't.
They're lying.
How could you keep turning to those snooze that like right now?
How could you still turn on Rachel Maddow and Chris Hayes, knowing they're lying to you about Joe Biden, knowing they lied to you about Bernie Sanders, but now they're also lying to you about Joe Biden.
They're playing you for a chump because they have no integrity or moral center or nothing.
They're not good people.
They're fucking bought and paid for pieces of capitalist paper.
That's all.
They're a commodity.
They've turned their integrity into a commodity and it's for sale.
Because you don't think nerds will lie to you.
And they know that.
That's why they hired nerds to lie to you.
Here's what Bakari Sellers, oh, God.
He says, when we told you about Joe Rogan, we were scolded.
You guys have all been saying you're not going to vote for Bernie.
Liberal logic, whenever Trumpers say they'll vote for Biden against Trump, but not Bernie, that's a reflection of Biden's appeal.
So whenever Trumpers say they'll vote for Biden against Trump, but not for Bernie, that's a reflection of Biden's appeal.
But when Joe Rogan says he'll vote for Bernie against Trump, but not Biden, it means Bernie attracts terrible people.
See how that's inconsistent?
And the inconsistent logic favors the establishment once again.
Get in line.
Get in line.
Ryan Grimm says, the question of touting Rogan aside, he didn't handle it well.
He did, of course, that Rogan now supports Trump over Biden is exactly the point Bernie was making.
Bernie said he was the one who could uniquely flip people from barbarism to socialism.
So this makes his point.
It doesn't refute it.
Perfectly said by Ryan Grimm.
Perfect.
This makes his point.
Of course, do you see that they're going to vote for me and not Biden?
That's why you guys should have nominated me.
Well, Bernie couldn't make that case.
It's up to Ryan Grimm to fucking make that case for him.
Ryan Grimm makes it better than his campaign ever fucking.
By the way, he wouldn't even say it.
You know what Bernie says when they ask him?
You know what Bernie says when they ask him?
Do you think, say it is Biden?
You think Biden can beat Trump?
I do.
Okay.
I know.
It's got to be.
If you don't laugh, you'll cry.
Jimmy, Jimmy.
I'm telling you right now, if you don't laugh, you'll cry.
I'm fucking telling you right now.
Jimmy Jam, Peppy22 said, Jimmy Fallon said that Biden is an eloquent speaker.
Who said that?
Jimmy Fallon of Joe Biden.
He's an eloquent speaker.
Thank you, Peppy22.
Thank you, Pepe.
Here's Joe Biden.
I found this on the Twitters today.
Here's Joe Biden.
Oh.
Oh.
People still watch MSNBC and CNN and think they're getting news.
People still think they're getting news.
Jimmy, I do a sneak peek every so often on Rachel Maddow, Chris, you know, and Brian.
And the other day, what was happening was Rachel was really upset about Trump, if that can surprise you at all.
Oh, I'm shocked.
Was she outreach?
Was she flummoxed and outraged?
Well, she let me know in every which way how it says she was at Trump and the poor way he managed the coronavirus.
You know, seeing that MSNBC was out in front of this story for years.
They were covering the impeachment instead of warning everybody about the coronavirus, right?
If I'm wrong, if I'm not mistaken, I'm pretty sure Chris Hayes, fake tough guy Lawrence O'Donnell, oh, Chris Hardball's gone forever to join Bill O'Reilly in that sex harassers podcast in the sky.
Tip of the day, Bill O'Reilly.
You know, if you drink water before a meal, you'll probably eat less.
Tip of the day, Bill O'Reilly.
That's the kind of shit he does now.
I'm not kidding.
Tip of the day.
Tip of the day.
What is very encouraging is I watch that show Rising, right?
Because they're very good.
I like them.
And what's very encouraging to me is that they are saying what I've been saying here, but they say everything in a much, much calmer way.
Right.
I let you know that I'm actually upset and that I'm actually angry.
They actually work for a company, so they can't be like that.
They actually have to act professional.
I can actually let my emotions run like I feel like they should.
And so it's nice to see Smarty Pantses who speak in measured tones saying exactly what I've been saying here.
So let's listen.
Let's listen.
I have three clips.
I don't remember exactly what's on all of them because I put this together right before the show.
I was like, holy shit.
When I watched this video, I was like, oh, my God.
I got to put this in this segment.
So here we go.
They don't mind you using the rhetoric.
They don't mind you giving the floor speeches as long as you're trashing the Republicans.
So she's speaking about AOC's speech and Bernie's speech over the stimulus.
And what did she say?
What did she say about AOC's speech?
They don't mind you using the rhetoric.
They don't mind you giving the floor speech.
They meaning the establishment.
They meaning the donor class.
They meaning Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer.
That's what she means by they.
Okay, just so you know.
They don't mind you using the rhetoric.
They don't mind you giving the floor speeches as long as you're trashing the Republicans and not trashing your own side, not threatening your own side with primary challenges.
That's what threatens their power structure.
And I noticed that too in her criticism.
She's like, the Senate, GOP, and this.
I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
It was not Senate Chief.
It was both parties.
So that's really reassuring for me to see them say that.
Okay.
Because nobody was saying that right after the bill passed.
People were saying the opposite.
They were calling them heroes.
So it's good to see, I think this is today's, from today's episode, whatever they release stuff on the weekend.
I don't know what this, but it's so good to see them say that.
Because he's criticizing AOC's speech.
He's criticizing her grandstanding, which is what we've been doing here because I'm fucking sick of those people.
They do nothing for you.
They haven't done a fucking thing for you.
Okay.
And Bernie won't even try to win the goddamn presidential race.
He won't even try.
If he's in a boxing match and he purposely tied one hand behind his back, in the other one, he hasn't a sling.
He's trying to talk Joe Biden into quitting.
So that's so good to see that he said that.
No, no, no, no, no.
And that's what I said.
You go on the floor and you call out the Republicans.
That's cowardly.
That doesn't take any guts.
Call out Nancy Pelosi and the system that gave us this.
She won't do it.
And that's what Sager and Crystal are saying.
They keep going.
Right.
We're complete, complete alignment.
I noted that.
And I was like, it's all of this.
It's like, oh, the GOP, oh, the Republicans, oh, all that.
And it's like you said, they'll let you rail against corporatism as long as A, you still vote for the bill.
B, you don't primary other people on the House floor.
C, just direct all your fire that way.
And I get it.
I mean, that is the hardest thing to do is to criticize members of your own party.
You get a tremendous amount of pushback for it.
I get a tremendous amount of pushback as well.
We do.
It's very difficult.
And I don't even want to.
A lot of concern trolling.
There's a lot of concern trolling.
What happened to you?
Are you out of your mind?
What happened to Jimmy?
Jimmy, I used to be a paying member, but you've lost it.
You've lost it.
That's what people love to say.
You've lost it.
You mean I lost it when I was right for three straight fucking years about Russia Gate and getting kicked in the balls for it?
When I was right about Syria and the gas attacks and I got kicked in the body, I got fucking slandered by people I used to work with on social media over that.
And I was right and never apologized to.
I know what that's like.
Oh, Jimmy, you, I laugh, really?
Because if you had the same standard for everybody else, you would be watching nothing now.
Okay, here we go.
I just wanted to say something that, you know, it always is fascinating to me when I read or you watch people and they talk about stop being so mean to these politicians.
Fuck you.
They're doing so much for you.
They're the only one who's working for you.
Well, you know what?
If there's just, you know, I don't remember somebody running for president.
They say, hey, I'm just one person.
I'm going to do the best I can.
That's not a, that's, that's not what we're looking for.
And I think people have to remember that it is healthy to challenge your elected officials to do what's right.
That's healthy.
To act like they're impotent, that's just making excuses.
That's home.
That's cult behavior stuff.
Grown-ups criticize, criticize, and pressure their political leaders.
Cults defend them and apologize for them.
So that's great to see.
Let's see what else.
Not on board, blah, blah, blah, blah.
I hear it all the time.
Don't care.
And that's ultimately the, that's the ground that you actually have to fight on.
Because guess what?
When the stimulus bill came coming or whenever major things start happening in the Democratic Party, people start calling you or me and be like, hey, what do you think?
They're trying to feel you out.
Like, oh, is he going to criticize?
Is he not?
Because they know that you're not, you're not actually going to fall in line.
They're going to call it as you see it.
People are not happy with me for blasting the stimulus bill.
And I don't really care because I know that it didn't live up to the standards that I put in place.
And it's not an accident that when you go against your own party, that's when you get the most outraged and vociferous pushback because that is the thing that is most threatening to them.
If you're willing to say, you got to win me over.
If you're willing to say, no, I'm going to call you out like I see it.
I'm not on your team.
I'm on team working class.
And there's nothing more powerful than that and nothing that they fear more than a sort of independent voice out there.
And so.
Does it help you understand it if someone says it in a really nice way, in a nice voice?
Does it help you understand it if someone says it in a measured tone, in a polite manner, without being raucous and emotional?
If you take the emotion out of it and someone says it on a nice TV set with a suit and tie, do you understand it then?
Here's more.
And this is what I've been saying.
Bernie is AOC unwilling to use their power to work for you.
Right now, Bernie should be using his following.
He should have used it already to get something in that bill or something out of it or have them split the bill up into two bills.
He did nothing.
And people are like, well, this press would, again, those stupid arguments.
The press would have smeared him.
Oh, he's only one guy.
All that shit.
He's only one guy.
He's only one of the most powerful 50 people in the entire 100 people in the whole entire world.
What could one of the most powerful 100 people in the whole world do?
He could put a hold on that bill.
That's what he could have done.
And explain to everybody in the country was in the bill before they voted on it.
Instead, he gave a grandstanding speech, made you think he got you something, which he didn't.
Michael Bennett wrote the unemployment part of that bill, and it was going to pass anyway.
And then he voted for it.
And then he sends you emails.
Bernie Sanders sends me emails to my house telling me all the shit he got for us in that bill.
No kidding.
It's disgraceful.
His campaign is filled with shitheads.
Okay, here's another one.
Just as Bernie Sanders leads a real movement, I mean, AOC is a real movement leader.
She has a real, enthusiastic, charismatic base behind her.
And so if she isn't willing to use that to gain power for the ideas that she promotes, then ultimately it's just ideas.
Ultimately, it's just talk.
That is what I've been saying since they passed the stimulus because I'm done.
I'm done.
I used to do, you know, videos protecting all those people.
All the progressives, I used to do videos protecting them against, because the mainstream media is always attacking Bernie and the squad and everybody.
Everybody's doing bad faith attacks on them.
And so that's, you know, that's red meat for me.
I go right at it and expose that.
You know, the corporate news corruption and how they don't tell the truth about progressive politicians.
But now it's over because they fucked us.
They knew we wouldn't criticize them.
They didn't fear us one fucking bit.
One bit.
And now I'm calling them out.
I'm calling out Rokana.
I'm calling out AOC.
I'm calling out Bernie, Elizabeth Ward.
I'm calling out Ilhan Omar.
That's what it was, is what we were talking about with Ryan yesterday, where I asked him, I said, okay, Ryan, you've covered this town for a long time.
Does this strategy work?
And he's like, no, it doesn't work.
He's like, if you're not willing to challenge them on the ground, they're never going to give you anything.
The only time they're trying to do it just to be nice.
They don't spread it.
Look at the Freedom Caucus.
How did the Freedom Caucus basically shut now?
This is what we've been saying.
This is what Ron has been saying.
That's what Graham.
This is what Steph.
We've all been saying.
Bernie should have taken his cue from Donald Trump when how he ran his presidential campaign.
And the progressives in Congress had take their cue from the Freedom Caucus who held fucking Paul Ryan hostage.
Do you know that the Republican leadership hated the Freedom Caucus more than they hated fucking Hillary Clinton?
You know that.
But I guarantee you that Nancy Pelosi doesn't have any disdain for the squad because they do exactly what she fucking wants.
They voted for her for speaker.
They voted for this, the bill that's going to screw everybody for a generation without calling Nancy Pelosi out for it.
So that gloves are off, and I'm going hard at all the progressive leaders and I'm encouraging everyone.
And so this is a good start.
Do you see how they're doing it?
This is great that they're doing this.
Because you can't dismiss them.
They're at a real TV set and he's got a tie on.
So you can't dismiss them as easily as you can dismiss me.
Down the Republican agenda for years because they were like, we're not voting for your damn bill.
You got to come over to.
They don't look at look.
Look at the Freedom Caucus.
How did the Freedom Caucus basically shut down the Republican agenda for years?
Because they were like, we're not voting for your damn bill.
You got to come over to my office and get on your knees and beg me to vote for this.
Oh, remember when Bernie did that to Chuck Schumer?
Me neither.
You remember when the squad did that to Nancy Pelosi?
Me neither.
What could they do?
The press will go against them and they won't get re-elected.
What could they do?
They're only one person.
What could they do?
They had to get the $1,200.
People are starving.
What could they do?
Did you hear what he said?
The Freedom Caucus shut down the Republican for fucking years.
And why?
Because they wouldn't vote for their bullshit.
And that's the only power you have.
Well, you also have power.
Some political leaders have followings, like Bernie Sanders in AOC, and you're supposed to use that.
That's your power.
Man, they'll raise hell and go on television.
John Boehner and Paul Ryan hated these people with every fiber of their being, and they loved it.
And that's how they got something done.
Now, look, I don't love everything that Freem Caucus does, but I respect that ability to stand up to them and force people to take votes.
They don't necessarily want to take it.
But then you look now, and they've just basically the entire Republican Party apparatus.
I mean, it just shows you this.
And this is why I don't want to be overly critical of AOC specifically, who I think, you know, has.
I hate when they do this part.
They're making such great points, and then they just fucking cut their argument out at the knees almost.
A lot in terms of left movement.
Like, so much has fallen on her, and it's really unfair to put the whole movement on her shoulders when you see the way that this town.
So I understand what she's saying.
And yeah, we can't put the whole movement on her shoulders.
No, I'm not trying to do that.
But you got into politics to be a leader, not a follower.
So it is fear to put FAIR, FAIR, F-A-I-R, to put whatever you...
She asked for publicity.
She asked for your vote.
She asked for us to put our trust in her leadership.
She wants to lead.
She asked for this.
She's not an unwilling participant here.
And not only that, she's playing the inside game so she can ascend to more power.
Why do you think she didn't push back?
Nancy Pelosi put her on the House Ways and Means Committee.
That's almost unheard of for a freshman fucking congressperson.
And she didn't want to lose that.
Bends people to its will time after time after time.
And one of the points that Ryan made too, and then he pointed, and this I think is really important, the framing of, oh, it's a wedge between Bernie and AOC.
I think that's kind of BS.
I don't think that's really the thing.
Because as Ryan pointed out, while Bernie is caricatured as being this, you know, angry jerk in D.C., he's actually quite conciliated as a member of Democratic Party leadership.
He's usually quite conciliatory with them.
He worked to get his amendments in, was the amendment king, all of that stuff.
So even Bernie Sanders, who had the courage over many years to stay an independent and not be a Democrat, even though he caucuses with the Democrats, even he, you know, goes along in this town quite a lot.
He said Joe would beat Trump.
I mean, in my view, I think he's been completely weak throughout this entire primary.
That's good to see, too.
Now people are, it's good to see.
I've been saying this since they started the campaign, that Bernie Sanders is basically running Joe Biden's campaign for him because every time he opens his mouth, he says, this guy's a good guy.
He's a decent guy, and he can beat Trump.
And guess what the Democratic primary voter wants?
The Democratic primary voter wants anybody who's decent who can beat Trump.
And as soon as Bernie said that, it was over.
He had forfeited his campaign.
Bernie Sanders forfeited his campaign.
And he's to say it's weak that he did that is an understatement.
What Bernie Sanders did was not only undermine his campaign, he undermined a whole goddamn movement when he did that.
And why did he do it?
Cowardice.
He didn't want to lose.
He didn't want to be Ralph Nader.
He doesn't want anybody to be mad at him.
He was upset that people yelled at him and held him responsible for Hillary losing.
And he's afraid of that because he's weak and feckless.
Whatever.
He's a nice guy, Bernie.
He's weak and feckless and the wrong guy to lead a movement.
That's for fucking sure.
He just lost to A demented walking death rattle with a horrible record because Bernie wouldn't even bring up the eight years he spent in the White House fucking people over.
He wouldn't talk about his corruption.
He wouldn't talk about his kids' corruption.
He wouldn't talk about anything.
He forfeited this race, Bernie did.
And all your heart and energy you put in, you should be upset at him.
You should be angry.
He should fear you the next time he opens his mouth and says, Joe Biden's my good friend.
He should be like, fuck, maybe I should stop saying that.
You can't go.
The establishment is corrupt and they're killing you.
Hey, here comes a guy from the establishment.
My good friend.
Come here, buddy.
You're a good guy.
So his message was mixed at best, schizophrenic at best, and completely undermining and forfeiting at worst.
That was his campaign.
He hired people to think of that shit.
That's his campaigns on purpose.
They did that.
So here's what, and so here, so that, so that's why if you see me going hard at the squad or the progressive, people like Jimmy, we get even, you know, stop dividing the business.
Stop dividing.
It's so divisive when you call attention to people's bad leadership.
That's hurtful.
No, no.
We should start pressure.
And a lot of my good friends, too, people who I, again, respect and thought they were smarter than me.
It's comforting to think people are smarter than you.
I want people to be better than me.
And it bothers me, you know, that no, I have to explain to them how this actually works.
Oh, no, the person who I thought was smarter than me, who went to an Ivy League school, who has children, I thought you were better than me.
Here's how this actually works.
You're supposed to pressure your leaders.
You're not supposed to apologize for them.
Oh, they're almost like, all right.
That's right.
You know, they just sold you out.
No, Bill Bernie got us that thing.
You know, that actually didn't happen.
Michael Bennett wrote that part.
Huh?
You know that the bill was set to pass anyway.
What?
Yeah, it was already worked out with Mitch McConnell and the rep. Oh, yeah, it was already worked out.
And Bernie gave a speech and what?
And it was all fucking kabuki theater.
Yeah.
And then he told you he did something for it.
Yes.
And then the people in the progressive media lied for him and fucking gaslit their own audiences and told him that Bernie did something?
Yes.
So it's time for you to make Bernie Sanders.
You know how you hate it when he wouldn't go after it?
Well, it's time to make him fear you that you're going to be upset instead of going, it's okay.
Bernie's just too nice.
He won't win the race.
In the middle of a pandemic, we're in apocalypse right now.
And Bernie's more, it's more important to him to be courteous to Joe Biden.
A guy who's still, still promising to veto Medicare for all in the middle of this pandemic.
Do you see how fucked up Bernie is and his campaign and all the progressives are?
Do you see how fucked up they are?
They all just shut up and went along and did nothing while Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Schumer, Mitch McConnell, Steve Mnuchin, and Donald Trump cemented a corporate fucking oligarchy and an income inequality from the Gilded Age for the next generation.
They did that.
People still don't know how bad this is.
You know, when you drive down the busy street where all the stores, you know how they're all closed now?
Well, in a year, they're all going to be bought by the thousand people.
A thousand people are going to own everything that they just gave $4.2 trillion to.
All those stores, all that, they're all going to be bought.
They're all going to be empty or bought by people they just gave the $4.2 trillion to.
Meaning equity firms, hedge funds, giant corporations.
It's coming.
The great unmasking is coming.
And then people are going to go, you fucking voted for this, Bernie?
You fucking did this to us and you didn't get anything in it?
You didn't get fucking anything.
You didn't even get health care for people with coronavirus.
You didn't even get that?
I didn't get anything.
Did you get us?
What did you get?
Nothing.
Well, there is $1,200, one-time $1,200 payment.
And what does that do for us?
Well, obviously it does nothing.
Hey, that's Jeb Bush.
I wonder why he's calling now.
Well, I'll tell you why.
I'm here to slam Donald Trump's handling of the coronavirus epidemic.
I mean, the pandemic.
That's why.
This is our 9-11 moment.
Was it 9-11 our 9-11 moment?
No, 9-11 was my dumb brother's 9-11 moment.
And he didn't ignore anything, okay?
He knew what was happening all along.
Ow!
I didn't say that.
Let go of my neck, you guys.
That hurts.
Who's hurting your neck, Jeb?
Don't hold the Secret Service guys.
They're supposed to protect me from saying things, but they're pretty dumb.
Half the time, they don't even see me smoking cigarettes behind the basketball courts anymore.
Mom always hated me doing that.
Boy, I tell you, if I were around to see this pandemic.
What do you think she'd say, your mother, if she was around right now?
Probably something really racist.
Hey, you know, there's a lot more to that phone call, but we don't have time in today's podcast.
How do you hear the entire phone call?
You got to become a premium member.
Go to JimmyDorkComedy.com, sign up.
It's the most affordable premium program in the business.
Today's show was written by Ron Placone, Mark Van Landowitz, Def Zamarano, Jim Earl, Mike McRae, and Roger Rittenhouse.
All the voices performed today by the one and the only of the inimitable, Mike McRae, who can be found at mikemcray.com.
That's it for this week.
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