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May 23, 2019 - Jimmy Dore Show
01:03:49
20190523_TJDS_20190523_Podcast
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Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program.
The Jimmy Dore Show.
Hey, this is Jimmy.
Who's this?
Jimmy Al Pacino.
Ah!
Mr. Pacino, thanks for calling.
What you been up to, buddy?
Slap!
I'm sorry, what?
Slap!
Still learning about politics.
Slap.
It's an acrobat.
You mean acronym?
No.
Okay, well, thanks for checking in with us.
What have you been learning?
I learned all about all the people running for the Democratic nomination, Jimmy.
There's a lot of them.
Yes, there are.
Because we gotta pick one.
That's right.
Right?
Yes.
We can't run two or three against McDonald, right?
No, we can't.
We cannot do that.
Okay, just checking.
I believe I have made my choice.
Uh-oh.
And who would that be?
Kristen Chillinghall.
laughter laughter laughter Who?
Kristen McGillicuddy?
Gilligan's Island of Christians.
Kristen Gillibrand, you mean?
Yes.
Poor choice, in my opinion, but whatever, Al.
She's got a lot of ideas.
Like what?
For example, she wants to make it illegal to criticize Israel.
Yeah, that's a bad idea, Al.
Oh, it's a good idea.
I was at a fancy dinner once at a restaurant with my manager and a few other guys.
And one of the guys at the table started criticizing Israel.
He went on and on.
And my manager's Jewish, so it got really tense and awkward.
And this guy wouldn't shut the fuck up.
And I remember thinking, Jesus Christ, I wish this guy would just go to jail.
And lo and behold, here comes this young firebrand who would do just that.
That dinner was fucking ruined.
I see.
I see.
And it's not just that.
Okay.
She's about to unveil her proposed Family Bill of Rights, Jimmy.
What?
I feel like an idiot.
I had no idea that families didn't have rights.
Now they will have the same rights as everybody else.
Hallelujah.
No, Al.
Finally, wives and children will have freedom of the press, like all citizens.
Al, that isn't what her...
Al.
Al, families have the same rights as everyone else guaranteed under the regular Bill of Rights.
A family Bill of Rights is just a catchy way of describing her policy proposals as she positions herself as the pro-family candidate as she supports policies that undermine working-class families all over the country.
Why you gotta be like this?
It's the Jimmy Dore Show.
The show for people that are comments, maybe on tearing down our nation.
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper say.
And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore.
Hey, everybody, welcome to this week's Jimmy Door Show.
Our next live Jimmy Dore show is Wednesday, June 5th in Hermosa Beach at the Hermosa Beach Comedy and Magic Club.
That's right.
Live Jimmy Dore show is Wednesday, June 5th at the Hermosa Beach Comedy and Magic Club.
Go to JimmyDoorComedy.com for a link for all tickets to all our live shows.
Now let's get to the jokes before we get to the jokes, shall we?
Hey, Russia Gators will like this.
For a second day in a row, U.S. fighter jets confronted Russian fighter jets flying over the Bering Sea.
That'll show Putin for using international airspace as international airspace.
Am I right?
Hey, let's not forget on May 19th, 2019, Congress passed the 19th Amendment, giving women the right to vote against their own interests for the next 100 years.
Hey, coming up, our video of a bear going berserk after spending 10 years getting beaten and forced to ride a bicycle.
Hey, did you hear Beto O'Rourke was asked why he doesn't favor Medicare for all?
And he said patients in need of help don't have time for us to get to the perfect solution.
We've got to work with the system that we have here today.
Hey, people dying due to lack of health care don't have time for us to actually solve this problem.
That's the logic of somebody running for president, ladies and gentlemen.
Hey, Hillary Clinton says we need to elect more pro-choice women.
You know, just like when she picked her vice president who was anti-abortion pro-life.
Joe Biden has his official kickoff rally last week.
It was kind of a bust.
Tons of people didn't even bother to figure out which Wells Fargo branch it was at.
You know, if I could go back in time, knowing what I know now, I probably wouldn't have any advantage whatsoever.
Hey, what's coming up on today's show?
Gas attacks in Syria staged suppressed documents reveal, just as predicted on the Jimmy Dore show.
That's right.
Another false flag gas attack in Syria was revealed by suppressed documents by the OPCW.
That's a big story coming up.
Plus, Elizabeth Warren, she's got some new ideas about how to turn the military green.
Should Democrats go on Fox News?
We're going to talk about it.
And even Brian Williams questions the Washington Post reporting on Iran.
Plus, phone calls today from Herman Kane, Mitt Romney, Bernie Sanders, and Al Pacino.
Plus, a lot lot more.
That's today on the Jimmy Door show.
I just learned that Bernie Sanders is going to a Walmart shareholders meeting.
So I said, let's call him up.
Let's give him a ring.
Hello, may I speak to Senator Bernie Sanders, please?
The first thing I'm going to do as president is enforce the do not call list with my goddamn fist.
Is this Bernie Sanders?
No, it's Casper the Friendly Post.
Of course, it's Bernie Sanders.
Who else sounds like this?
Listen to the way I say unacceptable.
I'm out of a tia or nutraceuticals.
And I could go on, or will I?
What in Burning St. Joseph do you want now?
A glass of water?
You want me to tell you a story?
Be quick and to the point.
I have 30 campaign stops to make here the next hour.
Bernie, I heard you were going to speak on June 5th at the Walmart shareholders meeting in Arkansas.
That's right, Sherlock.
Hey, King, where's my Trader Joe's insulated tote bag?
The one with the fucking palm trees on it.
We're going to the seventh level of hell.
Walmart.
Hey, if Walmart's the seventh level of hell, what is the sixth level?
Arkansas.
And what are the first through the fifth?
All the other states you got to go to to get to Arkansas.
Okay.
So, according to the Washington Post, Walmart's employees invited you to crash the company shareholders meeting and speak on their behalf.
Wow, you've actually read the whole article, Frostman.
Yes.
I'm going to rip the board of directors, a new one for workers' rights.
And then I'm going to Isle 12 and pick up a gallon of Metamucil.
My pipes are really clogged.
So you say in your advanced age, you have digestive issues?
No, I'm saying I use it to clean out my pool filter system.
Those pipes really start to clog with all the below 50 demographic and all their hipster beards.
All it takes is one campaign meeting, and Blamo looks like Sasquatch shut in my goddamn hot tub.
Unacceptable.
But why are you bringing your Trader Joe's bag?
Afterwards, I'll be picketing Trader Jones to bring back their delicious tofu edamame nuggets.
It's simply unacceptable that Trader Jones refuses to consider the will of the people to savor the delight of a squished soybean mixture encased in crispy nugget wafers.
I'll goddamn murder them for this.
So you're going to crash Walmart shareholder meeting, but Bernie, what if they don't let you in?
I'll wear my Joe Biden Halloween mask.
Worship.
And what are the Walmart employees demanding exactly?
Higher wages, better benefits, more predictable schedules.
Plus, they no longer want to be called associates.
Really?
What do they want to be called?
Costco employees.
Somebody's walking on my lawn, and I'm obligated to yell at them for some cliché reason.
So I don't know if you know about if you so if you watch the show, you know that we were on debunking the Syrian gas attacks, right?
So we debunked Robert Fisk, debunked it.
But the office, the Organization for the Prevention of Chemical Weapons, investigated those gas attacks, and they were very mealy-mouthed about whether they were staged or not.
And well, let's just talk about this for a second because new information has come out, and I'm going to share it with you in just a second.
But let's remember, Trump wanted to withdraw from Syria.
So when Trump came into office, he was an anti-interventionist, and he was saying shit like, we shouldn't be in the Middle East.
We should get out of there.
And honest to God, that pissed off a lot of people in the intelligence community and the military-industrial complex and Wall Street.
They're like, that guy's got to get his fucking mind right, right?
And that really did scare them and piss them off, which is why all this dossier stuff, just like Chuck Schumer said, they have six ways to Sunday to mess with you, the CIA, if you mess with them.
And that's exactly what's going on.
So he announced, do you have to remember that he wanted to pull?
He's like, I want to get out of Syria.
And what's the date on that?
Okay, so he wanted to get out of Syria.
And now here is the New York Times: suspected chemical attack in Syria.
What we know and don't know.
So as soon as he wants to get out of Syria, there's a chemical attack.
And the CNN goes to it.
Do you remember when CNN?
They sent a crack reporter, I mean, a reporter on crack to go check this out.
So she goes, if they think that they think there was a sarin gas attack, hey, what does she do?
And there's definitely something.
Hey, is that a deadly gas?
Yeah.
Yeah, I think I'm going to die now.
But I bet I'll win an award for this or something.
Because that's what people would do if you thought there was deadly gas on something.
You'll go, please stick it in my face.
Let me so that what that is, is that's proof that she doesn't think that there's anything on that fucking backpack.
If there was poison, she'd be dead.
It isn't.
Oh, no, it's definitely something.
You want to watch it again?
And there's definitely something that stings.
It stings.
Oh, yeah, that's sarin gas.
It's like capers or something.
I know.
Smells like a false flag or the taste of it.
I think that's what, you know, stuff like a CIA kind of an aftertaste.
So it was so bad.
And so you know that I was attacked for calling bullshit on this.
I was attacked everywhere for doing this.
I was called conspiracy theorists.
And by the way, I think it was CNN themselves said that shit about us.
It was CNN.
And then this is the work they're doing.
They're fucking fantastic.
So thank you, CNN, for sucking this hard.
And I would love to meet this female reporter and thank her, but I bet she's dead now because she sniffs Serengeti.
Rest in peace.
So here is, so this is Sky News.
This is Rupert Murdoch news.
And they bring on, this guy was the former head of the British military.
So he starts to say, because it never makes sense that Assad wouldn't gas his own people because he's winning the war.
And the only thing that could hurt him is if he somehow did something that would draw the United States into the war explicitly.
We're there covertly, but explicitly.
So why would he do that if he's winning the war?
It didn't make sense, which is why people were skeptical of it, except you're not allowed to be skeptical of it in the news, and especially corporate news, and watch what happens.
You think anything what we've heard from either Sergei Lanzarov or indeed the Russian ambassador has made it more difficult for the UK to launch any kind of attack without putting it to parliament.
Yeah, I think quite apart from all that, the debate that seems to be missing from this is, and this was actually mentioned by the ambassador, was what possible motive might have triggered Syria to launch a chemical attack at this time in this place?
You know, the Syrians are winning.
Don't take my words, right?
Take the American military's word.
General Virgil, the head of CENTCOM, he said to Congress the other day, America assent has won this war, and we need to face that.
So, and then you got last week the statement by Trump or the tweet by Trump that America had finished with ISIL and we were going to pull out sued very soon.
And then suddenly you.
Okay, I'm very sorry.
You've been very patient waiting for us, but we do need to leave it there.
I'm very sorry.
Wow, even a chlorine gas attack couldn't halt a conversation that fast.
Right.
All right.
So that guy was the head of.
He was the head of the British military in Iraq.
He starts to make a point that goes against the war narrative.
And they're like, all right, cut up, get the.
All right, go to a commercial.
Go to commercial.
I'm very sorry.
That sounds like a conclusion deduced from facts.
I'm afraid this is corporate-run media, and we have to go to a commercial.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, they just go to a commercial for...
It's it's kind of I wish I could go to commercial every time somebody disagreed with me.
You don't think I'm hilarious?
Well, we're going to commercial.
So, so that's what so they planted this false flag story, and immediately the New York Times, one building, one bomb.
How Assad gassed his own people.
There it is.
So why don't they lose their Facebook page for doing fake news?
That's the New York Times doing fake news.
Fake news.
I debunked it in real time.
How is it that me, a Jagoff comedian in my fucking garage with Stephen Ron, how is it that I knew this was bullshit, but the New York Times got it a thousand percent fucking wrong.
maybe because they're a lapdog to power and they're for every fucking war ever.
And then after they plant the false flag story, NBC News, Trump announces strikes on Syria following suspected chemical weapons attack by Assad.
It works like clockwork, like clockwork.
Oh, he did a chemical attack.
We have to bomb them now.
And this was the pictures of those bombs.
There they are.
They are taken off.
And if you want some commentary with them, here's Brian Williams.
He's going to give us some commentary.
I'm guided by the beauty of our weapons.
And they are beautiful pictures.
Yeah, I'm guided.
There it is.
I'm guided by the beauty of our weapons.
And they are beautiful pictures.
So that's all it took.
That's all it took was that bullshit gas attack.
And then Trump says, all right, I got my mind right.
And that's when the intelligence community knew that they had him when he decided to bomb Syria.
So now he's going along with them.
And they're going to pull back and they're not going to do another P-dossier.
Here is the New York Times.
They did an extensive investigative report about how that gas attack was real.
You think I'm kidding?
This is it.
How we created a virtual crime scene to investigate Syria's chemical attack.
Our investigation found that the Syrian government dropped a chlorine bomb on this apartment in Syria.
See the evidence in augmented reality.
You know why it's augmented?
Because it's not fucking real.
It's pretend.
By the way, they never even went to Syria to investigate it.
Somehow, I didn't go to Syria and I got it right.
They didn't go to Syria and they got it wrong.
It's weird.
They always get it wrong in the pro-war way.
Isn't that weird?
Jimmy, Jimmy, to be fair, you smelled the wrong backpack.
So here's from the New York Times report.
It says, we were unable to visit DOMA.
Oh, no shit.
But to get the truth of what happened, we forensically analyzed the visual evidence.
Forensically analyzed.
You forensically analyze the visual.
What the fuck does that mean?
We got a microscope and we looked at pictures.
Go ahead.
If I ever get accused of murder, I certainly hope the crime scene will be imagined by someone and then presented in a court of law.
What they did was they combined those pictures with other videos filmed by Syrian activists.
You mean the white helmets?
That's what they mean.
The white helmets, which is actually funded by the CIA and the UK's version of their CIA.
So we, these are pictures, the Syrian activists, we reconstructed a 3D model of the building, the balcony, and the bomb in partnership with Goldsmith's University of London Research Agency, Forensic Architecture.
It turns out it's all fucking bullshit.
Because there was a part in the Organization for the Prevention of Chemical Weapons, the OPCW, their report had also an engineering report.
So they had engineers give a report on whether this could happen from an engineer's perspective.
Was this actually able to happen from a mechanical engineering perspective?
And they concluded that it wasn't.
They left that out of the report.
That was left out of the report.
And now the OPCW is an anomaly independent body that almost certainly at the ground level has some capable scientists and investigators, but at a more senior management and political level, it appears to have allowed itself to become co-opted and compromised as a tool of the United States and UK policy and France and France.
And here's the bomb, by the way.
So those bombs, you see on the right?
That's on someone's bed.
That's on someone's bed.
And that's the other one on the left is on someone's.
And you know what's scary because the guy's got a gas mask on.
And so that bomb was supposedly went through a concrete roof that was reinforced with steel bars.
That bomb there doesn't look like it went through a concrete roof that was reinforced with metal bars.
You know why it doesn't look that way?
Because it fucking didn't.
It didn't.
And here it is again.
And here's a bunch of those pictures.
So it's called the Working Group on Syria Propaganda and Media.
They got a hold.
They got a hold of this report that wasn't included in the OPCW, but it was the report that should have been included from their own engineers.
And what did it say?
Well, here it is.
It's the unclassified OPCW.
It says engineering assessment of two cylinders observed at the DOMA incident.
The executive summary, they got a hold of this.
Well, is it real?
Is it fake?
Well, Peter Hitchens is a famous journalist, and he said the OPCW confirmed that a leaked document on alleged gas cylinders at the dome in Syria is genuine.
So they admitted, though, that's a genuine document that we didn't include in our report.
So they're admitting it.
And what did it say?
I'll read it to you.
This is what it says.
At this very stage, the FFM engineering sub-team cannot be certain that the cylinders at either location arrived there as a result of being dropped from an aircraft.
The dimensions, characteristics, and appearances of the cylinders And the surrounding scene of the incidents were inconsistent with what would have been expected in the case of either cylinder having been delivered from an aircraft.
In each case, the alternative hypothesis produced the only plausible explanation for observations at the scene.
And what was the alternative hypothesis?
Well, here it is.
Their conclusion was: in summary, observations at the scene of the two locations, together with the subsequent analysis, suggests that there is a higher probability that both cylinders were manually placed at those two locations rather than being delivered from an aircraft.
And that's what was left out of the fucking got it.
That's what they mean by augmented.
Yeah, that's what they mean by augmented.
And so, and what this guy says, the leaked OPCW engineer's assessment is confirmed as genuine, which means the final report actively concealed evidence that the DOMA chemical attack was staged by jihadists and the white helmets.
The OPCW's other Syria reports must now be treated as worthless, too.
So that's what's happening.
Jimmy.
Jimmy.
Yes.
Didn't know who placed cylinders on.
No, who did that?
Vladimir Putin.
I did it personally to just be agent of chaos.
To be knowing chaos agents.
As Jen Kirkman says in tweets.
In tweets.
So here's the summary.
So just to give you their summary.
The new information we have removes all doubt that the organization has been hijacked at the top by France, the UK, and the United States.
We have no doubt that most OPCW staff continue to do their jobs professionally, and that some who are uneasy about the direction that the organization has taken nevertheless wish to protect its reputation.
However, what is at stake here is more than the reputation of the organization.
The staged incident in Douma provoked a missile attack by the United States, the UK, and France on April 14th, 2018, that could have led to an all-out war.
The cover-up of evidence that the DOMA incident was staged is not merely misconduct, as the staging of the DOMA incident entailed mass murder of civilians.
Those in the OPCW who have suppressed the evidence of staging are unwittingly or otherwise colluding with mass murder.
So that's what happened, and that's what's going on.
And that's the lengths that people will go to to push war for fucking money.
And that's what it's like.
Everybody's involved.
The media is involved.
Your intelligence agencies, the governments are involved.
Everybody's involved.
And even the OPCW, they're all involved in bullshitting you so we can get.
And that's the kind of pressure that the United States, the UK, the military-industrial complex, and Wall Street brings on people, even independent organizations like the OPCW.
That's what's happening.
Anything, anything here, DeGrane?
Well, what it points to also is the effectiveness of this, because aside from Medea Benjamin and Code Pink, there's no anti-war movement in this country.
So everyone on the left who hates Trump resists resist, they never list this as one of the things they don't like Trump for.
The left has been like, wow, we need war.
You know what I mean?
The left.
I have neoliberal friends of mine, people I consider intelligent, to go, well, they literally said this two years ago on the first bombing.
Well, Trump had to.
I mean, you saw those gassing the children.
Friends of mine who hate Trump don't like him, neoliberal.
And I'm like, wow, that's how effective, that's how effective the military-industrial complex is.
They write something in some think tank at the CIA or whatever, and it comes out of my buddy's mouth as we're driving to go do a fucking movie podcast or whatever.
No one wants, and no, there's no anti-war movement on the left.
Where the fuck is it?
Uh-oh.
Herman Kang's on the phone.
I wonder if he's still reeling after losing his bid to get a seat on the Federal Reserve.
Hey, Herman.
Oh, man!
Oh, man!
Herman, what's wrong?
I'm still reeling after losing my bid for a seat on the Federal Reserve.
What the fuck do you think?
You just weren't going to get the votes, Herman.
Wait, what, huh?
What happened?
Where am I?
Who ordered the veal cutlet?
Herman, whatever made you think you would get the votes anyway.
I mean, you never had a chance.
You got too much baggage, baby.
What are you talking about?
Stuff like my embarrassing call to return to the gold standard?
Multiple sexual harassment allegations?
And those erectile dysfunction cures on my website?
Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
Well, what about them?
Well, that might have had something to do with why you didn't get the job, yes?
Watch the webinar, Jimmy.
It could be your key to earth-shaking, mind-blowing satisfaction.
How so?
Many men think cheating on your wife is the root cause of women leaving you, but it's not.
Guess what is?
Cheating on your wife?
No!
How about a history of sexual harassment allegations?
No!
Then what?
ED!
ED.
And that rhymes with P, and that stands for Erectile Dysfunction.
It's the number one killer of your manhood.
Remember that cute show on PBS?
Dysfunction Junction, what's your erectile dysfunction?
Only Herman Kane has the breakthrough cure for your erectile dysfunction.
The BC for your ED.
999.
So you're saying that your career had no impact on whether you got the job at the Fed or not?
Certainly not.
It was my decision.
I sat at my kitchen table with a cup of hot tea and looked over the financial implications of signing up for the Fed as opposed to getting rich from all those boner ads.
You could say it was a hard decision to withdraw.
Get it?
Yeah, yeah, I get it.
But I'm still with my man, Donald.
Why, why, why?
He's done a lot for African Americans, that's why.
But a lot of black people hate him.
You mean black celebrities?
That's because the media is messing with their minds.
Stop messing with their minds.
But what about Trump makes you support him, Herman?
I'm in Trump's corner because I look at results, not perception.
I'm a results man, not a perception man.
But aren't results subject to one's perception of those results?
You mean results like earth-shaking, mind-blowing satisfaction?
Hello?
Hello?
Looks like somebody's scared of their own boner.
Hey, you know, we no longer have an Amazon link because we're not doing that.
We're not playing that game.
But here's another great way you can help support the show is you become a premium member.
We give you a couple of hours of premium bonus content every week.
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Thanks for your support.
I want to talk about Pete Buddh.
He was on CNN's town hall, and I saw this was a clip.
Now, I'm not going to ever watch five hours of town hall straight through ever in my life.
I will never do that.
And I think that's why CNN did them like that.
So they can say we did them and no one watched.
I bet you the freaking ratings for those things were horrible.
I know Amy.
Didn't you say that the humanists checked out?
Yeah, I saw the humanist report on it, and he said he had checked out.
Because I was blazing over.
I was like, I didn't even watch Amy Globichar.
Couldn't you watch her?
So here, so Pete, Mayor Pete, the guy from South Bend.
And you know what's funny?
So I was thinking about this the other day.
Like I saw a news report on him.
They go, he's young, he's articulate, and he's gay.
And it's like, how quickly did society change to gay is now a selling point?
Like, that's how far we've come.
So here he is.
They ask him about, you know, a big problem is that United States, we incarcerate 25% of the world's population incarcerated population, and then we don't let those people vote.
So that's the new Jim Crow.
So you have a racist drug laws that over focuses on minorities, and then you incarcerate them at a much higher rate as white people, and then you never let them vote again.
That's the new Jim Crow.
So if you want to take the voting rights away and political power away from minorities, you just lock them up.
And we're the world's biggest penal colony.
The land of the home and the free and the home of the brave is the world's largest penal colony.
And so they asked Pete Buttigieg about what he should do, what we should do with the felons.
And here's what he says.
Senator Sanders earlier this evening said he's in favor of felons being able to vote even while serving their prison terms.
He was asked specifically about people like the Boston Marathon bomber, people convicted of sexual assault, rape, and other things.
That doesn't sound like a gotcha question.
Hey, do you think that the marathon bombers should vote?
Could you ask a more incendiary way?
Could you ask it in a more freaking, can you believe that's the question they asked him?
Do you think that you based on past behavior?
Yes, I can.
Yes, I can.
But of course, it was a gotcha moments.
You know, it's going to be a great answer because his sleeves are rolled up.
His sleeves are rolled.
He's regular.
He doesn't even have a suit coat on.
That's how what a regular guy.
See, to me, that is just a guy trying too hard.
He's trying too hard to look like he's not trying.
You know what I mean?
Like the guys who's remembering when messy hair was big and the guys whose hair was perfectly messy?
Like that's what he is doing.
That's what he's doing.
Design via focus group.
Yeah.
He sat down in a chair.
They went through all the surveys.
Name is Mike just said, openly gay, closet conservative.
Ha ha!
I'm stealing that.
Name is Mike.
Thank you very much for the joke.
I'm going to steal it.
Thank you.
So let's listen to his answer.
He said the right to vote is inherent to our democracy.
Yes, even for terrible people.
Senator Kamala Harris just said we should have that conversation.
She didn't really answer one way or another.
What do you think?
Should people convicted of sexual assault, the Boston marathon bomber, should they be able to vote while incarcerated?
Yeah.
No, I don't think so.
Gutsy.
Why is everybody clapping?
They were probably clapping because he gave a direct answer to something.
I mean, we don't know.
Because what I'm going to tell you, what Mayor Pete Budigig just does is talks forever.
Every answer is a filibuster, and this is no different.
So the answer is already done.
And now he's going to talk for about an hour and a half.
Here we go.
I do believe that when you are out, when you have served your sentence, then part of being restored to society is that you are part of the political life of this nation again.
And one of the things that needs to be restored is your right to vote.
As you know, some states and communities do it.
Some don't.
I think we'd be a better country if everybody did it.
And frankly, I think the motivations for preventing that kind of re-enfranchisement in some cases have to do with one side of the aisle noticing that they politically benefit from that.
And that's got some racial layers, too.
So that's one of many reasons that I believe that re-enfranchisement upon lease is important.
But part of the punishment when you were convicted of a crime and you're incarcerated is you lose certain rights.
You lose your freedom.
And I think during that period, it does not make sense to have an exception for the right to vote.
Okay, so there you go.
What was that beeping?
It was from the recording.
Oh, maybe that was the timer on his answer or something.
Sounded like a timer went off.
It did.
So, well, let's just think about that issue.
Now, I think since we are the world's biggest penal colony and we lock up black and brown people at much higher rates because of the racist drug laws in America, I think it's probably not good that we don't allow people who are in prison to vote.
And I went to a website.
This is called peoplespolicyproject.org.
And the title of the article is Full Human Beings, an argument for incarcerated voter enfranchisement by Emmett Sanders.
So here, I'll just, just a little bit from this article.
26 European nations at least partially protect their incarcerated citizens' rights to vote, while 18 countries grant prisoners the vote regardless of the offense.
In Germany, Norway, and Portugal, only crimes that specifically target the integrity of the state or constitutionally protected democratic order result in disenfranchisement.
The European Court of Human Rights has forcefully defended the voter franchise, going so far as to condemn the 2005 Britain's blanket ban on voting rights for prisoners, calling it a violation of human rights.
Mayor Pete is for a violation of human rights.
That's your guy in 2019.
That's your, you think, what do you think, Chelsea Manning?
How do you think Chelsea Manning would come down on this?
So there he is.
What the European Court on Human Rights has called a violation of human rights, he got applause for in the United States on CNN for saying.
Isn't that kind of, I'm not, am I, am I twisting it?
Or what do you think?
No, well, you're not twisting it because people, I think the general kind of way that it's fed via the corporate media isn't the way you just delivered it.
There isn't the way that a lot of people see it who would agree with what Bernie said and not with what not with Pete Buttigig.
So, yeah, and I agree with their stance too.
I think people should have the right to vote.
And I think that, you know, it's pretty discouraging that instead of looking at it through a lens like the People's Policy Project, you had people engaging this whataboutism.
like, well, what about these awful people, Bernie, who would get to vote, people who did terrible, terrible things.
Right.
Jamie Dimon keeps getting to vote.
Right.
All the CEOs of all the banks that fucked us during the collapse of our economy.
They all get to vote.
Dick Cheney, George Bush get to vote.
They're war criminals.
Clondeza Reichshe gets to vote.
She's a war criminal.
Does Steve Mnuchin get a vote?
Steve Mnuchin gets to vote.
Also, the head of the CIA, who's a war criminal, also gets to vote.
It's weird war criminals get to vote, but if you get caught with a joint in your pocket, you don't get to vote.
Isn't that something?
In December of last year, after 12 years of resistance to the ECHR's decision, the UK partially relented by allowing prisoners on temporary release and at home under curfew to cast their ballots.
Even our Canadian neighbors acknowledge the right of people in prison to have their voices heard at election time.
In South Africa, meanwhile, prisoners have participated in the democratic process since 1999.
South Africa, when their constitutional court declared that, quote, the universality of the franchise is important, not only for the nationhood and democracy, the vote of each and every citizen is a badge of dignity and of personhood.
So, what we like to do in America is they used to call prison rehability.
You got to go get rehabilitated.
They're rehabilitation centers.
They don't do that anymore.
Now, what they try to do is try to punish you as hard as they can and take away your dignity.
And we have a high recidivism rate in the United States.
Isn't that weird?
Places that kind of give people dignity have lower recidivism rates than in the United States, where we try to do everything we can to destroy someone's dignity.
And a good way to help build up someone's dignity is to give them the right to vote.
According to the Constitutional Court in South Africa, giving prisoners the right to vote is a badge of dignity and a badge of personhood.
But Pete Buttigig would say no.
He would say no, haha, with a smile, too.
I don't know if you noticed he was smiling.
You lose your voice.
Why are you smiling when you say that?
That's fucked up.
Pete Budig is fucked up.
There are all important steps.
These are all important steps in the right direction, but the fact remains that the United States, home of nearly 25% of the world's prison population, denies to them a right that is foundational to democracy.
There goes the United States being number one again.
There they are.
As formerly incarcerated author, educator, and Detroit community activist Youssef Shakur commented: In a country that prides itself on being Democratic, the Democratic thing to do would be to allow millions of incarcerated Americans to participate in the democratic process.
And I wish somebody would have said that to Pete Budegigig's face when he was saying that stupid shit last night on CNN, but nobody did.
So we'll say it to him indirectly right here.
I would say, Ron, please reach out to the Buddha's campaign and see if he'll come on the show.
But you know, he ain't fucking coming on the show.
You know a guy who hangs out with Mark Zuckerberg ain't coming on the goddamn show, right?
He ain't coming on this fucking show.
We could try.
Try it.
Let's try.
Yeah, it'll be fun.
It'll be fun.
We've reached out to some fun ones before.
It's fun.
Yeah.
I mean, we reached out to Tom Perez before.
Never heard back.
Never heard back?
Never heard back.
Love to have Tom Perez on the show.
Not even an automated email.
Nothing.
We'll get back to you with our values.
Not even something like that.
Nailing it, Professor.
So there's my story on Pete Budigig's bad answer to the should we let the incarcerated.
Every time this guy talks, I get more disgusted with him.
How about Mike Panel or our panel?
Well, I will say right now, Alfonso says Boot Edge Edge is a likable guy, but a slimy, spineless politician.
That's exactly right.
Wow, that is right on.
He's the gay Obama.
I mean, yeah, I think I like him less usually when I hear from him, but that doesn't really separate him from pretty much any of the other candidates.
I mean, the only people that don't fall into that category for me are Bernie and Tulsi.
I'm with you.
Elizabeth Warren, a little too squishy, a little too squishy on Medicare for all.
She claims to be a Cherokee.
She was silent on Standing Rock when it counted.
And she voted for that bloated military budget without crying about it.
So I got a lot of problems.
Oh, by the way, she didn't endorse Bernie.
So I got a lot of problems with Elizabeth Warren.
I think that she lacks courage.
I think she has the right ideas about things, but I don't think she has enough courage to follow through on them.
That's my feeling.
And that's based on evidence.
That's not just based on I'm pulling shit out of the air.
Elizabeth Warren is one of those where, yeah, she is a little bit different from the Pete Buttigig and the rest of them in that regard, but I really proceed with caution with her.
Like that thing she was doing about college debt, I thought was awesome.
But then I was like, how sincere is she about this?
Same with the drug bill that she co-sponsored with Bernie.
I mean, she has a couple, for instances, where she does some really great things, then some for instances where she does some really not-so-great things.
So I'm a little shaky on how I feel about her sincerity.
Yeah, that's our, you know, Steph has a great joke about that.
I won't do it, but Sunday night.
Oh, Dark Baker.
Sunday angry.
Extracted.
Sunday night.
Okay, so there you go.
That's we covered the.
You know, I just want to say one more thing about, you know, our prison and how they're being used.
You know, we're, what is it in the state of California?
We're the fifth largest economy in the world, state of California.
But we use prisoners to fight our fires.
I think that's disgusting.
For a dollar a day.
You know, and additionally, so they're trained.
They stand right beside the firefighters who are certified firefighters.
And when they get out of prison, they don't have the, they're not eligible to be a firefighter.
So they're trained.
They're, I mean, for all intents and purposes, they've been rehabilitated.
They have a skill.
I don't think, I think that's fantastic, but they can't get a job.
And, you know, Kamala Harris says this is a good thing.
It's part of our economy.
Yeah.
How's Kamala Harris?
What is it?
Yeah, she's a labor.
Prison labor.
I have no idea.
We can't let prisoners out of prison because it'll upset our prison labor.
You know that.
I mean, there's a lot of people at the gap who need cheap t-shirts made.
Anyway.
Alyssa Milano.
I don't know if she is, she's right.
Who's the boss, right?
And so here's what she has to say about voting for Joe Biden.
And still, there are many progressives or some progressives who say this is not enough.
Is that a mistake?
Are they not focused on the overall mission for all Democrats, which is to defeat Donald Trump?
Earlier today, Michael Steele said Democrats have a choice.
You want to be woke or you want to win.
So the idea is if you vote for a guy like Bernie Sanders or Tulsi Gabbard, who represents positions that are favored by the majority of Americans, then somehow you're going to lose an election.
That's the theory right there.
You can't give people what they want or asking for what's popular.
You have to vote.
So watch what she says.
You agree with him?
I think it's a great point.
I think, look, there's nobody in the world that wants progressive policy to be set in place more than I do.
But this time.
Okay, I bet there's a few more people who are more hungry for progressive policies than someone who's been a millionaire for 30 years.
You know who would like progressive policies more than you, Alyssa?
I don't know, maybe one-fifth of Americans who can't afford their diabetes medicine.
Maybe those people.
Maybe the 5.1 million Americans who got kicked out of their fucking houses.
Maybe they would like it.
Maybe the teachers in Wisconsin who lost their union.
Maybe they want progressive policies more than anybody.
Maybe it's the people on the mountains of student gold debt and they don't have a fucking lifestyle.
Maybe it's the people who go bankrupt every goddamn year because they can't afford fucking health care.
There's a lot of people who want progressive policy more than a millionaire.
Your move, Graham Elwood.
*crowd laughs*
And I'm not saying Melissa Milano is a bad person.
I'm sure she's a great person and her heart is in the right place, but she doesn't understand that she lives in a bubble and she doesn't have any real problems.
And her focus of her life is to get rid of Donald Trump because he makes her feel icky inside.
Donald Trump is president or someone of Joe Biden.
It doesn't make a difference.
She's still going to get health care.
She's still going to have a nice house.
She's still going to have a nice life.
And she's going to cheat to get her kids into fucking Harvard.
So here's what she goes on.
And the reason I say this about her is because what she says next.
Mary, to me, is not about policy, it's about beating Trump.
That's why we have Trump.
We have Trump because of.
Period.
That's it.
End of story.
We need to nominate someone that is going to beat Trump and bring honesty and integrity and dignity and truth back to the United States of America.
You know, the kind of integrity it took to vote for the Iraq war.
You know, that kind of integrity.
The kind of integrity it took to kick Ram out of his house.
That kind of integrity.
The kind of integrity it took to not prosecute torturers, but to recommend prosecution for Julian Assange.
That kind of integrity.
That's the kind of integrity you're for?
This idea that Joe Biden has integrity because he doesn't tweet like a jagoff is bullshit.
Joe Biden is the fucking problem.
Joe Biden's the reason we got Donald Trump.
He's the reason I have a fucking show.
is because of neoliberal cocksuckers like Joe fucking Biden.
Jimmy.
Do you know who's more qualified to talk about politics than Alyssa Milano?
Who?
A Beverage Farm Milano.
We would also accept Danny Pintaro.
It gets worse.
Watch this.
See, compassion, all these things that I want to teach my children growing up in this great country.
You need someone that's going to represent that to the best of their ability and fight Trump.
And, you know, I can't, it's not about who's going to make the best president.
What the fuck are you talking about?
Hey, somebody's going to make a shittier president.
Let's vote for him.
You know, I never knew what Trump derangement syndrome really was until I saw this.
This is Trump Derangement.
This is it.
This is exactly it.
Here we go.
Who's going to beat this man, this horrible, horrible president?
That's it.
That's Alyssa Milano.
And she has a new strategy.
Do you know her new strategy for beating Trump?
Because so now they're passing these draconian abortion bills, right?
And so they say after six weeks, if you have an abortion, then it's going to be considered murder or whatever, a felony, and they're going to investigate you.
And a lot of people have made the point that six weeks just means you missed your period for two weeks, right?
But people don't really know they're pregnant at six weeks.
This is what the point is.
Well, here's what she says.
Here's her solution.
Our reproductive rights are being erased until women have legal control over our own bodies.
We just cannot risk pregnancy.
Join me by not having sex until we get bodily autonomy back.
I call for a sex strike.
I'm glad you explained this because when I just yelled sex strike earlier, it came off as sort of weird and I realized, oh, they haven't seen this yet.
All right.
I just seem like I have a problem.
It's a not thing to yell out of.
Just, Alyssa, the men you're closing your legs to don't pass legislation on women's rights.
And if they do, you better fuck them if you want to keep your rights.
How about that?
All right.
Did you see on the bottom it says, if our choices are denied, so are yours?
What the fuck?
You know, I've had blue balls a time or two, and it never changed any laws.
But it did get me arrested once in the produce aisle.
pumpkin with a fucking sweet talker.
So this woman says, please stop feeding the narrative that women are providers and men are consumers of sex.
bribing men for equal rights with access to our bodies is not how feminism works And also, I agree with this 100%.
Withholding sex to own men is not feminist.
It's, on the contrary, upholds a ridiculous patriarchal view of sex.
This does not help us at all.
Sex strike is not pro-choice.
All right.
And anyone who doesn't think blowjobs are currency isn't wearing a new pair of shoes from Nordstrom Rack.
right Steph?
I never finished Liza Strada.
How does that play out?
What happens?
Does this work?
I mean, you know, if there's any woman in here right now and you're on a date and it's not going well, I say, you know, and you want to break it off tonight, here's my recommendation.
Go home.
Have sex with him.
And right after you climax, I want you to say, mmm, I think we just made a baby.
Guaranteed that relationship is over.
And so that's the problem, right?
So they don't offer people anything.
We all know this, right?
Barack Obama governs like a right-wing Mitt Romney, and they don't offer people anything to make their lives better.
We now have tent cities all over, everywhere in the country.
And now this is what they want people to vote for.
Here we go.
Pennsylvania.
The New York Times writes, there are widespread worries that the momentum in Pennsylvania and in other key Rust Bell states could screech to a halt if the issues in the 2020 presidential primaries and the party's eventual nominee stray too far left for the region's many centrist voters.
The peace quotes.
Oh, boy, if only we could run an experiment to see what would work.
If only we could get a fucking centrist and run him against Donald Trump in Pennsylvania.
I wonder how that would turn out.
He mentioned Pennsylvania.
Is that the same Pennsylvania that just elected a super lefty DA and just elected two car-carrying DSA members to city council?
That's it.
I think it's that one.
Yeah, Philadelphia has that super progressive DA, the Black Lives Matter lawyer who became Pennsylvania.
You don't want to go there.
He's got two DSA members in city council now.
So here's what more shit they say.
Pennsylvania governor and former Democratic National Committee chairman Ed Rendell saying the more we have presidential candidates or newly elected congresspeople talking about the Green New Deal, talking about Medicare for all, talking about socialism, the more that plays into the Trump campaign's hands.
These motherfuckers, their message is don't fight for shit you believe in.
Don't fight for shit you believe in.
Vote for us.
We're not going to fight for shit.
You believe in.
That's not a winning strategy, fuckface.
This is.
Medicare for all, something every other Western country has figured out fucking decades ago.
But to Ed Rendell, it's a goddamn Rubik's Cube.
How does this matter?
You give people medicine and it's cheaper?
I don't understand.
And if you just get sick, you just go get wet.
I don't understand.
How do you do this?
Zero bankruptcies?
What are you talking about?
You don't have that.
This is the equivalent.
I love the Democratic Party today.
Is the equivalent of like JFK going, putting a man on the moon by the end of the decade, a little too hard to do.
All right?
We got to do it incrementally.
Billy, Maryland.
It's a purity test, end of the decade.
Let's not go crazy.
Rosa Parks, just incrementally move your way to the front of the bus.
Don't just sit there, just one row at a time for a couple of years.
Just stop rocking the boat.
So here comes Ed Rundell.
He's going to say some stupid shit.
Governor Rundell joins me now.
Governor, good to see you.
Thank you for being with us.
How do you square this?
Boy, if that doesn't look like the face of progress.
Oh my God.
Is that Alexander Haig's little brother?
Jesus Christ.
This looks like progress is dead.
Yeah.
They brought back Mr. Potter.
How many hookers has he killed at a country club?
You know what I mean?
Let's be honest.
I mean that in a nice way.
You once said I was nothing more than a warped, frustrated old man.
Well, look at you.
What are you nothing more than a frustrated young man?
I'm calling the bank examiners for an award for your arrest.
Because the Democratic base is riled up.
41%, according to a recent poll, 41% of Democrats want the party to be more progressive or more liberal.
A larger number want the party to be more moderate.
But boy, those are tight numbers when you're talking about 40% on one side, a little more than 50% on the other side.
How do you square this?
Well, I think people.
You got to ask the right question, Alan.
I bet we're going to lose again.
I just have that feeling.
Question is, do you want Washington to get things done?
I think when you frame it that way, 75% of Democrats, maybe 80, 85% would say yes.
Did you see?
He said if you frame it this way, do you want to vote for someone who can get something done?
Then 85, what?
Like, I guess progressives.
Remember, FDR didn't get anything done?
I don't know if you remember that.
Yeah, the New Deal was just a centrist platitude.
That's what I think he did.
That's how he got us out of the depression.
Look at how tired he looks.
I need a cup of coffee just looking at him.
He's so sleepy.
I've been spewing Wall Street bullshit for so long that I've fallen.
My head has fallen permanently to the right.
I am human ambient.
I conducted a poll that was funded by Goldman Sachs and it says, I don't know, I'm just going to pick a number out of the goddamn sky.
85% of all rich people agree that I should say something profound and emphatic and raise my hand like that.
Here we go.
We'll not mislead the public.
The Green New Deal, for example, everyone supports the overall goals.
Everyone supports the overall goals of the Green Deal.
You know what the overall goal of the Green New Deal is?
That we don't fucking die.
That would be the overall.
That would be the overall goal.
And he agrees with it, but we're going to have to die.
We'd like to not die, but that's cost a lot of money.
Frame doesn't work, and the cost factor would be significant.
Medicare for all, under certain circumstances, could work, but it hasn't worked in states that try to.
But it's worked everywhere else in the fucking world.
I don't want to talk about that.
Let's talk about Vermont.
Let's talk about something else.
Bernie Sanders is Vermont.
of course that repealed it after two years because it just cost too much and they couldn't raise enough taxes to support it so what we don't Where are you going to get less money from?
Who's going to not pay for it?
Who is lose the 2020 election?
Donald Trump cannot win the 2020 election.
I think 2018 should be.
I think he's going to wipe your fucking ass.
I'll tell you that.
If you ran against him, he'd beat your fucking ass.
That's right.
But that he was rebuffed by over 9 million more voters voting for Democrats for Congress than Republicans.
He can only be elected president again, be re-elected if we lose it.
If we lose it by coming out with enough statements and enough positions that the voters get scared and say, we don't want to be a socialist government either.
Donald Trump used that term in his State of the Union speech very craftily.
He's going to try to paint the Democratic Party as a socialist party.
So let me ask you.
Yeah, people are cool with socialism, by the way.
I don't know if you know that, Ed.
I know you're 100 years old.
But people now understand that socialism means they can go to a doctor when they get sick.
The state that has the most new DSA chapters is Texas.
The fucking Democrats, if they ran hard left, could fucking crush everybody.
If they ran a populist, working-class socialist platform like, I don't know, FDR fucking did, they would never lose.
And somebody got to listen to this guy and go, I haven't worked since 1918 was the last time I didn't have a corporate guy paying for my blowjobs.
So.
Okay, at the Green New Deal.
To some, and I'm not making the argument, but I've heard the argument that this is in response to an administration that doesn't accept the reality of climate change.
When you look at Medicare for All, it's in response to an administration and a Republican Congress that has worked to undo Obamacare without coming up with something that is a better replacement.
So to the extent that people are so frustrated by what this administration is doing, and they want somebody who will hold that banner, who will carry that banner.
Does moderation work?
Will it get enough people out to vote to support Democrats?
I mean, he's saying people are really frustrated, Ed.
I don't know if you hear that, but if you keep promising them half a loaf of bread, they're not going to vote for you again.
So, Ali Veshi is also a corporate tool.
He's on it, though, on this question, and he's making a good point.
Let's hear what Fuck Face says.
Federation that tells voters the truth will work.
Donald Trump.
He said a moderate candidate who tells the truth will work.
I guess Hillary Clinton was a big fucking liar then, Ed.
Is that what you're saying?
Single payer will never come to pass.
Lied to his voters.
He lied to those blue-collar voters in Pennsylvania when he said he was going to have their interest at heart.
That tax bill didn't have their interest at heart.
The things he's done on overtime and workers' rights doesn't have their interest in heart.
We can't be guilty of the same thing.
We've got to tell people what can and can't be done.
Look, I would love all of our electricity to be done from renewables.
I worked hard in Pennsylvania to reach that goal or to start us down the path that goal.
But we can't do it by 2030.
The experts say maybe 2045.
We've got to talk.
I think we could probably do it five years after we all die.
Or maybe two years after Florida goes underwater.
I'm not sure exactly, but we can't do it before then.
That's the fucking to the people.
I would love free college for everyone.
But as Amy Klobucher said, we sent for Jenna Fourth.
What a gaslighting motherfucker this guy is.
And this is why the Democrats suck the biggest cock I've ever seen because this is bullshit.
We can't afford free college.
$700 billion for bombs?
A fucking course we can.
We're spending $200 billion more on the Pentagon than we were at the height of the Iraq war.
That would pay for free college and homelessness, and you'd still have $100 billion left over.
So fuck you, Ed Rendell.
Uh-oh, that's the Mitt Romney hotline.
Hello.
Hi, Brad.
This is Mittens Mitt Romney to the Rim Rock.
Rom's in the house.
Romney here.
How's your peach shake of the day, bro?
Hi, Mitt.
As you know, I'm a plain speaker, so I'll cut to the chase.
I speak plainly, yet my silence speaks volumes.
I have binders full of my silences.
Did you know that?
Look, I'm aware of how your aides want to present you.
Yeah, I'm aware of that.
Oh, it's much more than that, Nick.
You see, I am disgusted by Donald Trump's actions and demeanor.
Yet you support him.
Oh, yes, definitely.
Why?
Well, it makes it difficult for people to know what you stand for.
Oh, I stand for plain speaking and tough talk, Buster Brown.
You can count on that completely.
For instance, and fasten your seatbelt because this is going to send you through a quarter inch of tempered glass.
I am not ready to endorse my party's incumbent president for re-election.
Wow.
That is newsworthy.
Why not?
Hey, you know, there's a lot more to that phone call, but we don't have time in today's podcast.
How do you hear the entire phone call?
You got to become a premium member.
Go to JimmyDoorComedy.com, sign up.
It's the most affordable premium program in the business.
Today's show was written.
That's right.
It was written by Frank Connip, Jim Earl, Ron Placone, Step Sam Murano, and Mark Van Landuit.
All the voices today performed by the one and the only of the inimitable Mike McRae, who can be found at MikeMcRae.com.
That's it for this week.
You be the best you can be, and I'll keep being me.
Don't freak out!
I'm not kidding.
Don't freak out!
Don't freak out!
Don't freak out.
Do not, do not, do not not freak.
Do not freak.
Do not freak out.
Don't break out.
Don't bring out.
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