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June 14, 2018 - Jimmy Dore Show
57:26
20180614_0614_TJDS_PODCAST
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Time Text
Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program.
The Jimmy Dore Show!
Oh, please answer.
Oh, come on, phone angels and telecommunication fairies.
Make them answer.
Clean clams crammed in clean cans.
Clean clams crammed in clean cans.
Make them answer.
Calm, calm, calm.
One less bell to answer.
One less egg to fry.
Hello.
Hey, I bet you saw me on Squawkbox.
I was just on Squawkbox.
Did you see me on Squawkbox?
I said things on it.
Squawkbox.
Hello, who's this?
Oh, you big joker.
Stop kibitzing around.
I'm the former frontrunner of the Republican Party, silly.
It's a nice night for a white rice fight, said nine nice night nurses nursing nicely.
Is this Neil Bush?
Neil.
What?
You know who this is.
That was just on Squawkbox.
I love policy.
I love my country.
I believe college still has value and that we can make it affordable with my new freshman year for free program.
Wow, I really said that, didn't I?
Imagine if I'd said that during the primaries, I would have won Rhode Island or something.
If this isn't Neil Bush, I really don't have time for this call right now.
Absolutely, and I understand completely.
But wait, you ask, will I ever run for president again?
Not in this political environment, I'll tell you.
To be honest with you, I'm not suited for it.
I'm like a fish out of water.
I can't imagine having to attack someone to make yourself look strong, except Terry Shiva's husband.
Boy, I really ranked him through the goals for votes.
Woo!
33 thieves thought that they thrilled the throne throughout Thursday.
So are you thinking about running again?
This is exactly what I said on Squawkbox.
I don't know if I'd ever run again, but I would never do what Trump did to get elected.
And what did Trump do, Jeb?
Told the truth about my family.
Gee, it was harsh.
I mean, guy, gosh, oh, geez, was it ever?
I'm still smarting over that.
Yes, I am.
And you can take that to the bank.
That must have been hard.
The kind of campaign Trump ran would have never been successful a decade ago or in the age of Ronald Reagan and my dad, for example.
What about what you and your dad did with Terry Shivo, Willie Horton, and John McCain's alleged black love child?
And what about Chester Cheetah chewing a chunk of cheap cheddar cheese?
So Trump is the first politician to play dirty.
Is that what you're saying?
Make no mistake about it.
Winning is not worth disparaging people.
We have to be civil with one another.
That way, it's so much easier to screw over the brown people and take their oil.
David Copperfield, David Coppafield.
Here's another thing I said on Squawkbox.
Politics is a mirror of our culture.
You said that?
I know.
Jesus, heck, that's depressing.
Whatever inspired me to say that?
Bake big batches of bitter brown bread.
Do you ever feel guilty about your party's role in producing the Trump administration?
Here's the way I see it.
Donald Trump is a byproduct of our current cultural malaise.
You know what malaise is, don't you?
It's a French word for please clap.
There was a minimum of cinnamon in the aluminum pan.
All right, I'm going to go roll around.
All right.
It's the Jimmy Door Show.
The show for bluffies.
The kind of people that are comments maybe on tearing down our nation.
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper save.
It's Run's Poppy, T-Daggy.
Here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore!
Hey, everybody, welcome to this week's Jimmy Door show.
July 15th, a few tickets left for July 15th in Chicago Thalia Hall.
And a few tickets left for Portland July 1st.
Go to JimmyDoorComedy.com for a league for all tickets.
Hey, let's get to the jokes before we get to the jokes, shall we?
This week, did you know this week was the Capitals Parade, which celebrated the team that won the Stanley Cup?
That's right.
It was followed by the Capitalism Parade.
A little different.
That's just a bunch of rich people in nice cars driving around flipping everybody else off.
Hey, did you hear rumor has it that Sarah Sanders, you know, she's the press secretary for the White House.
Sarah rumor has it Sarah Sanders plans to leave the White House by the end of the year.
She denies this, and hey, she's never lied before.
Come on.
Come on.
She wants to spend some time lying to her family.
Hey, if we could live in an Orwell novel, I wish it could at least have been the one where animals can talk.
Hey, it's okay for a grown man to cry.
And it's okay when Dennis Rodman does it as well.
The cold, hard truth is that we live in an unstable world.
And as much as we might not like it, the United States has to align with North Korea to protect us from dangerous threats like Canada.
That's right.
Boy, last night was nuts.
My acorn stair lift.
I have a stair lift, you know, my acorn stair lift.
Went berserk and fucked my Roomba.
True story.
Hey, I just got back from the Pew Research Center where I had some research done on my pew.
They say it stinks.
I was like, that's what that is.
Hey, I'm starting a new Kickstarter project, everybody.
I hope you can give to my Kickstarter project where I film myself asking people to contribute to my GoFundMe project.
I just need 60 grand in a boat.
Breaking Syria finds safe exit for Bashar al-Assad as the new head of development at the Gersh Agency.
We got phone calls today from Vince Vaughn, who got pulled over drunk driving.
Jeb Bush, Chris Christie, and George Clooney.
Plus a lot lot more.
That's today of the Jimmy Dore Show.
Oh, hey, look, we got Vince Vaughan on the line again.
Hey, Vince.
Hey, what's up?
Not much.
What's up with you, Vince?
You know what's up, Jimmy Dore.
You know, I got shang-haid by the fucking fuzz.
That's what's up.
Yeah.
Yeah, we heard.
It's happening, just like I predicted.
What is happening?
I'm getting harassed by the LA authorities because I'm a prominent Hollywood conservative.
I've said this was going to happen.
I've said it before on your very show.
Go back and check the archives.
I'm not really sure.
Who's in charge of archives over there?
Is it Placone?
Ron, do me a favor and go find some of the eerily pression clips I said the pastor play and get Jimmy a nice coffee while you're at it kid Ron isn't here Vince okay look you got pulled over for drunk driving how can that possibly have anything to do with you being a conservative oh I don't know why don't you ask Mel Gibson that same question everyone was all over his ass for being a conservative Ben Kabuli he
popped in Malibu.
It happened to Ron Silver.
Kelsey Grammer may also add that one in to the pot.
God damn it, Niles, you shouldn't let me drive.
And now, Double V, same story.
I'm sorry, don't you find this a little suspicious, Jimmy?
I thought you think was putting, you know, connecting dots and putting things together.
You'll find this a little bit suspicious?
No, I don't find that suspicious, Vince.
I think the reason you were pulled over is that you were drunk.
There's no conspiracy.
Oh, give me a break.
Everyone's drunk.
It's Hollywood, baby.
What are you talking about?
Okay, all right.
Let me back up here.
Now, Jimmy, you know, you know this for a fact.
If you go out to dinner and you have two glasses of wine and then drive home and the cops pull you over, they could pop you for DWI.
For two glasses of Malbec with dinner, right?
Yes.
Does that sound right to you?
Vince, you're not supposed to drink and drive.
End of story.
So you've never had two glasses of wine with dinner like a grown-up does or a fucking 12-year-old in France and driven home?
You're not supposed to drink and drive.
Okay.
Uh-huh.
Right.
No, no.
I get it.
I get it.
I do.
I realize on your end, the show was doing well.
Lots of listeners and subscribers.
You got to make the safe takes every now and again in order to not rock the boat too much.
Be somewhat responsible.
I get it.
I get it.
Yeah, Vince.
I'm going to make the safe takes like not condoning drinking and driving.
I get it.
I get it.
You don't want to admit that everybody has a friend that has had one beer and got pulled over and was arrested by the pigs.
Which is weird, Jimmy, because I thought you, of all people, Jimmy Dore, would be on the cops are fucking pigs train.
Quite frankly, I'd imagine he was the engineer of that train, wearing that striped chef's hat going, toot toot, the cops are fucking pigs.
That's what I have in my head.
That's what I'm seeing.
But whatever, maybe not.
You are not making life easy for me today.
I know.
I know.
I'm sorry.
I'm going to let up.
The point is, J.D., Power and Associates, that lots of people are zipping around the freeway in L.A. with a harmless little.01 action in their arteries.
But of those, somehow it's actors who believe in freedom that get pulled over.
So you and your friend had just had a couple of glasses of wine with dinner?
Oh, hell no.
We were fucking cranked.
No, I was just saying that stuff earlier for illustrative purposes.
Yeah, dog, we were ratcheted up.
It was a scene, brother.
It was a thing.
Yeah, it was a problem.
But the cops didn't know that at the time, before we were pulled over.
You see what I mean?
Not really.
This is about police abuse of power.
This is about targeted harassment by the LAPD.
This is about taking a stand and saying, no, ladies and gentlemen, we are not going back to the Daryl Gates era.
Vince, look, this is not a civil rights type of...
Anika!
Vince!
Anika!
Check out...
out true detective season two now available on voodoo at a cop voodoo anica voodoo everybody welcome to jimmy doors show i'm here with the miserable liberal and ron placone ron's on tour yeah june 20th through 24th graham elwin and i are heading to the southeast we're going to nashville huntsville asheville louisville atlanta georgia tickets at ronplacone.com that's june 20th through 24th get them now so
So we've talked to you about the richest guy in the world, Jeff Bezos.
Jeff Bezos is worth over $120 billion.
How much money is $120 billion?
First of all, if you had a billion dollars, you could never spend it.
Second of all, he has 120 of them.
And they say you could end homelessness in America for $20 billion.
So Jeff Bezos could end homelessness like that.
Still have $100 billion left.
Still be the richest guy in the world.
He could end homelessness, still be the richest guy in the world.
He can end world hunger.
They say it costs $33 billion to end world hunger.
He could do it like that.
Still have over $50 billion left.
But could he go to outer space too?
He'd still be one of the top five richest guys in the world.
He could end world hunger.
He could end homelessness like that.
He doesn't do it.
Why?
Because he's a megalomaniac.
Guys like Jeff Bezos are sociopaths.
And they become increasingly more sociopathic with the more money they accumulate.
It's been proven by studies that the richer you become and the longer you're rich, you start to lose the ability to interpret other people's emotions through their face.
You start to lose empathy.
This has been studied.
This isn't made.
So why do I bring this up?
Because Jeff Bezos just crushed a law in Seattle that was going to help homeless people.
There was a tax.
Well, here it is.
This is from the Washington Post.
Seattle Council votes to repeal a tax to help homeless amid opposition from Amazon and other businesses.
So Jeff Bezos, who wants you to think he's a great guy, he's not.
He's the opposite.
He's a guy who's crushing your local economies.
He's a guy who's rigging the system in his favor.
And he's a guy who doesn't give a shit about homeless people.
They had a tax they put in four weeks ago.
city council on tuesday voted to repeal a tax hike on large employers that it's instituted less than a month ago backing down from a plan firstly opposed by amazon.com and much of the city's business community how much of a tax was it going to raise a billion dollars how much were they going to tax amazon how much were they going to tax them uh with amazon and starbucks funding a ballot challenge amazon and starbucks now if you remember the starbucks ceo just came out and
said we can't have things like single payer in this country we can't have things like free college we can't have things like a jobs program he just that's the head of the starbucks remember they're supposed to be good people they want to end racism They just don't want to, they don't want to fund ending homeless.
So they bankrolled a ballot challenge to repeal the tax.
The city's Democratic Council struck down the tax levy.
They approved about four weeks ago.
And the mayor, a Democrat, is expected to approve the deal.
The new tax would have raised, get this, $48 million.
That's it.
$48 million.
Or about, that's about what Jeff Bezos makes in, I don't know, a day, maybe two days it takes him to make $48 million.
And they came hard at this tax to help people.
We are fucking helping people.
Well, it's only going to be $48 million.
I don't care.
We're not giving a penny to help people.
That's what Jeff Bezos is saying.
Here's what Bernie Sanders tweeted out.
There's a picture of Dr. Evil.
It's convenient.
He looks just like Dr. Evil.
It's convenient.
Bernie Sanders says, this is what oligarchy looks like.
This is what greed is doing to our country.
Amazon, whose CEO, Jeff Bezos, is the richest person in the world, used its enormous power to kill a modest tax designed to address the affordable housing crisis in Seattle.
He doesn't give a shit.
And you don't think that these companies should be broken up?
You don't think Facebook should be broken up from WhatsApp and Instagram?
And you don't think that Amazon should be broken up and shouldn't be allowed to also be in business with the CIA and the Pentagon.
And they can apparently run tax policy and social policy in Seattle, wherever they're going to put a store, wherever they're going to put their headquarters, we get to run everything.
And just for the record, too, that whole bill wasn't just footed by Amazon.
Right.
It was footed by the largest businesses in the city.
There were about 600 that were going to be affected.
And Amazon made the biggest gripe by far.
And they're like, hey, we could take some of our, you know, a little bit of our tax money, help the homeless.
What are you nuts?
I'm Jeff Bezos.
We scrape every penny we can, and who cares about people?
It's profits over people.
What are you guys, assholes?
We're Americans.
Well, and there are at least 20 cities right now that are vying for Amazon.
They're begging Amazon to come, giving them benefits that they'll never see the benefit from, by the way.
Whatever the city gets loot in Amazon is going to lose.
Lose.
And not only are they going to lose in the short term, because numerically it makes no sense, they're going to lose in the long term because you're welcoming an employer that when they don't get their way, they grab your city government and they pull.
Do you really want that in your community?
Right?
It's like our jobs program is war, or you can go and be exploited by Amazon.
By Amazon.
So that's like Walmart.
Yeah, so that's their jobs program right now.
And they say that Amazon and Starbucks would maybe give 8,000 jobs.
You're paying that much?
8,000 jobs.
That's.
I feel like people.
How many more examples can we have of people being cheated?
Okay.
I don't need to tell you anymore.
There it is.
That's the country you live in.
That's the guy who's the real president of our country.
He just told homeless people in Seattle, fuck you.
You're staying homeless.
Why?
No reason, really.
Just a megalomaniacal adherence to profit over people.
These people are the opposite of moral.
They're the opposite.
These people are literally evil.
Jeff Bezos is evil.
What they just did in Seattle is evil.
That's not hyperbole.
They're an evil corporation doing evil things.
Just like the banks, we live in an evil culture.
Richest country in the world won't even take care of its fucking homeless people.
People don't have a home.
Screw them.
You want me to pay tax?
The richest guy in the world?
A guy who could personally end homelessness in America about six times over.
Himself, he could end it.
Jeff Bezos could end.
And he chooses not to.
And not only that, he chooses to go over to your local municipality and screw over your own city council's rules that want to help people.
He'll step in and stop it.
And he just did.
But, you know, he'll go on David Letterman's new show or whatever on Netflix and everybody will laugh it up.
There's no problems, right?
He'll go on.
He'll go on the Today Show and everybody will love him.
Dylan Radigan will tell you what a great CEO he is.
What a great, but marvelous company, beautiful CEO, beautiful.
Beautiful businessmind.
Soon as he figures out how to monopolize water, he can be emperor of this place.
Nothing to be concerned about.
And he will.
Jeff Bezos is going to figure out how to get all the water and then we're done.
Oh, yeah.
You don't think he's going to throw us in jail first?
Yeah, we're really done.
He's just screwed over the homeless.
God forbid Amazon actually has to pay their fair share of taxes one day, huh?
Can you imagine that if that ever happened?
Oof.
I'm sure they'd write about it in the Washington Post.
laughter music So big story today.
Everybody's talking about this.
Our good friend Bobby De Niro says F Trump twice at the Tony Awards.
Came on and said F20.
It's a big deal.
He comes out.
So I'm just going to show you what he says.
Then I'll show you because CBS bleeped it.
So I don't have a copy of him saying it.
I have a video of him being bleeped.
They didn't actually bleep it.
They don't bleep anymore.
They just drop it.
Did you notice that?
No, really?
They don't.
Yeah, they just kind of put a blank.
They don't.
So here's, he came out and said, I just want to say one thing.
F Trump, it's no longer down with Trump.
It's F Trump.
And so you want to hear him say that?
So here, this is at the Tony Awards.
Here it is.
So see, they dropped it all out.
And then he does this.
People are going crazy.
Standardization.
De Niro added, in these perilous times, you rock the vote, always fighting for truth, transparency, and integrity in government.
Boy, do we need that now?
When have we ever had that?
When have we ever had that?
When have we ever had transparently integrity in government?
When have we ever had transparent?
Barack Obama, everybody was crazy at George Bush because he did an illegal war Called Iraq.
Barack Obama did Libya.
No one gave a shit.
And it's all about oil.
And it's all about the petrodollar.
Again.
And it has to do with Israel.
God damn it.
You know, I'm still stuck on the fighting for truth part.
Yeah.
What is that about?
What truth have we ever fought for?
Vietnam?
What was the truth there in Vietnam?
No, I think I think when he's talking to Bruce Springsteen that Bruce Springsteen is always fighting for truth.
I would agree with that.
I would agree with that.
Transparency and integrity in government.
Boy, do we need that now?
Again, Trump hasn't started a war yet that I know of.
Has he?
Hasn't started one.
He hasn't started one, no.
He's continued a couple.
Yes, he has.
He's trying to start one with Canada.
I've always been suspicious of the Canadians with their politeness.
Their cheaper drugs.
What are they hiding?
Some of them speak French.
Oh, there you go.
So he said that.
And then in the article in the HuffPo article, it also mentions that he said this.
Our country is led by a president who believes he can make up his own truth.
And we have a word for that.
Bull SHIT.
He said last week.
This is what he said last week while praising the winners of the first Jimmy and Rosemary Breslin Award, American Writer Award in New York.
Our country is led by a president who believes he can make up his own truth.
I would agree with his statement.
I would just alter it just a little bit.
Our country is led by presidents who believe they can make up their own truth because that's what they did.
Barack Obama said he wasn't going to sign a health care bill unless it had a public option.
He signed a healthcare bill without a public option for no reason.
They passed that with 50 votes.
We bombed some folks.
They passed that barely.
They passed that, not with the supermajority.
They passed that with 51 votes, so they could have did that.
And that was Barack Obama's call to not do that.
Do you think if everyone had the health care we were supposed to, if the Democrats would have passed Medicare for all when they had complete control of government, including a filibuster-proof Senate, do you think that if everybody had a single payer right now, if the Democrats did what they were supposed to, don't you think it would be a drastically different country?
All the bankruptcies that would be, what would GoFundMe be doing?
What would GoFundMe?
They'd have to actually be raising money for actual projects instead of knee operations.
So, of course, you see where I'm going with this.
This drives me nuts.
Guys like Robert De Niro, who I'm, you know, his heart is in the right place.
He wants to stand up for truth and justice and transparency, except he's only doing it now.
What happened when Barack Obama opened the Arctic to drilling twice, when he made the banks bigger, when he jailed whistleblowers, when they tortured Chelsea Manning?
Why not F him then?
How about when he let peaceful protesters get their heads cracked in from coast to coast?
What about then?
What about F. So that, you know, this is my problem, right?
Everyone's obsessed with the symptom, which is Trump.
So, and if we could just get rid of Trump, everything will be okay.
And, you know, the establishment wants to get rid of Trump because Trump makes it harder for them to pull off all their nefarious bullshit.
When you got Barack Obama doing a nice, handsome job of smiling and charming everyone while he opens the Arctic to drilling, right?
While he does absolutely nothing.
Anyway, then so that, so this is, again, same old stuff we talk about all the time.
You're angry at a symptom, you're not angry at the problem.
You're angry at the liver spot, not the diseased liver.
I like that one.
That's what I'm saying.
Well, can you imagine?
Yeah, this is my favorite one, Jimmy.
What?
The Democrats just voted to deregulate Wall Street again.
And they're, oh, it's just a problem with Trump, Ron.
Well, has Robert De Niro ever really been politically outspoken before?
I mean, I can't think of any.
Trump is exactly what Norm McDonald said.
You know, he's low-hanging fruit.
Being against Trump is not a worldview.
Oh, absolutely.
And I agree with that 100%.
I'm just wondering, hey, maybe Robert De Niro never paid attention before and Trump woke him up.
How about that?
Which is one of the good things.
Why are people waking up?
Yeah, but the problem is he's waking up and thinking it's just Trump.
Sure.
The problem is just Trump.
Instead of what the problem really is.
The problem is a neoliberal system that threw working class people overboard about 40 years ago.
That's what the problem is.
Well, maybe he'll get there in time.
Like maybe Bruce Springsteen took him aside and he said, look, a while ago, Ronald Reagan wanted to use the song Born in the USA.
And I didn't say, of course you can, kind sir, because everything's great and we have truth and transparency.
I told him no.
And here's why.
There's some messed up things about our system.
Rod makes a great point.
Should have ended the video right there.
That's exactly right.
Bruce, how about when Bruce Springsteen also didn't let a president use his song because he was so disgusted by that president, who is now enshrined in American history as being a great president?
People love him, even though he was horrible.
I mean, Reagan.
So I say the beginning of the end for the country was when Bill Clinton became president, but it really, I could have said it started under Reagan, but Reagan was no different than the rest of the Republicans, except because Bill Clinton actually was different than the rest of the Democrats.
He was like, fuck it, I'll just be a Republican.
Whereas Reagan was just, I'm just being a Republican.
Well, yeah, I mean, the country took a really ugly turn with Reagan, but then when Clinton came along, it was like, well, we don't want to beat him, so let's join up.
Let's join him.
We're going to keep this turn going.
Keep this ugly turn.
We're never turning back around.
Super predators.
Explode the prison population.
Gut welfare.
Deregulate Wall Street.
Crash our economy in 10 years.
All that.
New business-friendly Democrats.
The business-friendly Democrats.
Get in bed with the Koch brothers, which they did.
So that was the big, that's the big takeaway from the Tony.
And of course, you know, it breaks my heart.
And I'm not saying anything negative against Bobby De Nair.
I like to call him Bobby because we worked on a movie set together.
So Bobby, but again, this is the wrong takeaway from what's happening right now.
Trump is a symptom of a greater problem.
Trump is the result of the problem.
And you guys are just angry at the symptom.
Hey, you know, we no longer have an Amazon link because we're not doing that.
We're not playing that game.
But here's another great way you can help support the show is you become a premium member.
We give you a couple of hours of premium bonus content every week.
And it's a great way to help support the show.
You can do it by going to jimmydoorcompedy.com, clicking on join premium.
It's the most affordable premium program in the business.
And it's a great way to help put to thumb back in the eye of the bastards.
Thanks for everybody who was already a premium member.
And If you haven't, you're missing out.
We give you lots of bonus content.
Thanks for your support.
Oh, God, that looks like George Clooney's on the line.
I hope he doesn't call me Flash and ask what's the lowdown, clown.
Hello.
Hey, Flash.
What's the lowdown, clown?
Is this George Clooney?
Well, page six calls me Klamal.
That's like an amalgam of Clooney and Amal.
Hey, big-ass tribute the other night to yours, Julie, at the Dolby Theater.
That's theater spelled R-E, but the real deal.
Genuine, not a podcast spell with a pod.
This, on the other hand, was a USDA American beefcake.
Guess who was there?
Moonves was there.
You know him?
Didn't see you there, bud.
No, I've never met Les Moonves, George.
Why the tribute?
I forget lifetime achievement, that kind of thing.
I'm an Oscar-winning multi-hyphenate.
What else was there, you ask?
Important people?
Kinda.
Bill Murray, Kate Blanchett, Julia Roberts, and former President Barack Obama.
Heard of him?
Yeah, and why the Lifetime Achievement Award?
Because when I'm not busy with my practical jokes, I like to stand up for the most vulnerable.
That's my thing, Baxter.
I guess it's my affinity for heroes who fight the system, like in Kill a Mockingbird and High Noon or Ernest Goes to Jail, that kind of thing.
And your wife, do you still love her?
Oh, Amal.
She's like a gazelle in taffeta, isn't she?
She wore yellow at the royal wedding, and of course she looks stunning.
And I look like friggin' Sean Connery up there.
Elegant, chiseled, dimpled.
You know the score.
Okay, and the twins, George, how are they doing?
Ah, the twins, Stella and Mortimer.
They're like models.
Slept through their first birthday party.
So I played one of my famous practical jokes on them.
I put a mouse in their milk bottle.
The wife, Amal, like a snowy egret.
She thought it was hilarious.
Naturally, she arrived for the occasion in a pale pink, off-the-shoulder Prada gown.
I wore a tight shark skin suit.
You know the score, right, Baxter?
Hey, what are you doing, June 21st?
Nothing.
I knew that sport.
Look, I got good news for you.
Better news for you, Jimmy.
June 21st is the date.
He edited down a 90-minute version of my award show airs.
Check localistics, bud.
I'm not your mate.
The average snail has over 25,000 teeth.
Ouch.
Shark skin is made of wool or rayon.
It's not skinned from a shark.
I was now wearing a shark, okay?
Hey, Baxter, did you know Tiger Woods has a 155-foot yacht?
Watch out for ticks, man.
They're everywhere.
Did you ever see that the owl is friends with a cat video?
Changed my life.
Amal and twins were in tears.
I suggest you take a look.
Shark skin is also used for curtains and napkins.
I'm going to start my own rocket company.
You interested?
Me and Amal were in Sardinia a few weeks ago.
I bought some cured ham from the back of some guy's van.
hello hello hello Did he hang up on me?
That scamp.
He's just a scamp.
What a scamp.
We're talking about North Korea.
And there's been a solution to the North Korean problem.
And Dorm Chomsky's going to tell us what it is.
Real question is: is there a way of dealing with the problem?
There are a lot of proposals.
Sanctions, a new missile defense system, which is a major threat to China.
It'll increase tensions there.
Military threats of various kinds.
Sending an aircraft carrier, the Vinson, to North Korea, except by accident.
It happened to be going in the opposite direction, but we'll forget that.
But those are the proposals, that kind of proposals as to how to solve it.
Actually, there's one proposal that's ignored.
I mean, you see a mention of it now and then.
It's a pretty simple proposal.
Remember, the goal is to get North Korea to freeze its weapons systems, weapons and missile systems.
So one proposal is to accept their offer to do that.
Sounds simple.
They've made a proposal.
China and North Korea propose to freeze the North Korean missile and nuclear weapon systems.
And the U.S. instantly rejected it.
And you can't blame that on Trump.
Obama did the same thing a couple of years ago.
Same offer was presented.
I think it was 2015.
The Obama administration instantly rejected it.
And the reason is that it calls for a quid pro quo.
It says, in return, the United States should put an end to threatening military maneuvers on North Korea's borders, which happen to include, under Trump, sending of nuclear-capable B-52s flying right near the border.
Maybe Americans don't remember very well.
So the North Koreans had offered before, yeah, hey, if you stop doing war games on our border and flying nuclear-capable planes on our border, we'll cool it with our nuclear program deal.
We've said no to that.
And Chomsky just says that that's crazy.
Can't just blame Trump.
Obama said no to it, too.
Well, guess what happened?
They got together.
So here's Trump.
And first of all, just look how long they stare at each other.
1,000, 2,000, 3,000, 4,000, 5,000, 6,000, 7,000, 8,000, 9,000, 10,000, 11,000.
They just stared at each other.
They don't speak.
Trump does not speak North Korean.
Or is it just Korean?
That's what I was wondering.
Or it's just Korean.
They never ended the handshake either, man.
It wasn't just eye contact the whole time.
They were still going.
So it seemed like Trump had memorized something, some kind of greeting in Korean, and he was saying it.
And he just kept looking at him like, you're not saying it right.
I'm not going to let go first.
Don't let go of the first.
You rimp if you let go first.
Now let it go.
We're squeezing that.
Okay.
All right, we'll do it, Samsies.
Okay.
So somebody said, hey, look, the last two kids are getting picked for dodgeball.
Somebody said that on Twitter.
I saw that.
So anyway, you see this.
Duchomsky talked about it.
It seems like it looks like they're going to, Trump's going to accept the offer.
And he's offered to stop flying, doing war games on their border with nuclear-capable B-52s.
That's what it looks like.
A lot of people, like here's one newspaper, Independent says they say it's a good thing.
They go, if the U.S. or North Korea can, why not India and Pakistan?
Could the Trump-Kim summit inspire a wave of unlikely peace talks?
You know, when our Nobel Peace Prize-winning president took us from two wars to seven, did Libya ran out of bombs in Syria.
I didn't think that the next president, who was everyone said, is a madman, even though they gave him $80 billion more a year for madman bombs.
And spying powers.
And spying.
And then they expanded his spying powers.
He's such a maniac.
Let's help him spy more on his enemies.
I did not expect this.
I did not expect Trump to be the guy to create peace anywhere.
But here it is.
It seems like he's doing what Chomsky said we should be doing, which is accepting this offer.
You know what, Jimmy?
Can I tell you something else that I don't think you're going to expect?
What?
That two Norwegian businessmen or lawmakers have already nominated President Trump for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Oh, my, come on.
No, I'm serious.
This is from Truth Dig.
Two Norwegian lawmakers have nominated President Trump for the Nobel Peace Prize after the Singapore summit with North Korea leader Kim Jong-un.
And that is the sound of Rob Reiner's head exploding.
Rob Reiner, Andy Richter, Rachel Maddow, they're all the same as far as their viewpoint.
They've like what Ron Pacone says, I hate Trump as much as anybody.
I'm not going to let him steal my critical thinking skills.
Those people have.
They don't care.
They've allowed Trump to steal their critical.
They now sound like the people screaming Benghazi.
No matter what it is, it's well, first of all, here's what Independent says.
They say, could this be a template?
And they go on to say, if historic enemies like the U.S. and North Korea can come together to forge a fresh start after months of escalating threats, what is there to stop any other bickering countries in the world from burying their own differences?
That's the message from a senior politician in Pakistan who suggested the summit between Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un in Singapore could be a model for new talks with India.
What?
Who would have expected this?
That somehow Trump's all his crazy bellicose crap with the rocket little rocket man, as he called him, somehow that all led to this.
And now Pakistan and India are talking.
Come on.
As opposed to the Nobel Peace Prize winner who took us from two wars to seven.
What does USA Today say?
USA Today says Trump absolutely deserves credit on Korean peace talks, Australian prime minister says.
The Australian Prime Minister, Malcolm Turnbull, said President Trump absolutely deserved credit for the peace talks and historic meeting between the leaders of North and South Korea.
Turnbull told reporters in Sydney on Saturday that Trump's hardline approach on the Korean Peninsula helped lead the North Korean leader Kim Jong-un open up to peace talks and the meeting this week between Kim and South Korean president Moon Jai-in in a demilitarized zone separating the two nations.
Wow.
So there's some news people in India in England, in the UK, and some lawmakers in Pakistan lauding this, saying this is a great idea.
Now we got the Prime Minister of Australia saying the same thing.
Let's come back to the United States.
Let's see what here's Rachel Maddow.
She's the number one cable news show host in the country.
Trump just did peace.
So he's agreed to what Chomsky said.
This is a tentative agreement.
As far as we can tell, nothing has been finalized.
This is just a preliminary agreement.
Nothing's been finalized.
But here's what Rachel Maddow has to say, which a lot of people say this is a great idea.
This is great.
This is unbelievable.
This is happening.
Nobody expected Trump to do something good like this.
And here it is.
It's happening.
And now it looks like it might be even inspiring Pakistan in India.
So here we go.
Here's Rachel Maddow.
Russia has just this tiny little border, 11-mile-long border with North Korea with one crossing on a train.
And they've got a troubled and varied history over the decades with that country.
But Russia is also increasingly straining at its borders right now and shoving back U.S. and Western influence, especially U.S. and Western military presence, anywhere near what it considers to be its own geopolitical interests.
And one of the things that they have started to loudly insist on is that the U.S. dropped those joint military exercises with South Korea.
The U.S. has kept those going as a pillar of U.S. national security strategy for 70 years now.
We've kept that going as a pillar.
We've kept our war games off the coast of North Korea going.
That is a pillar of national security.
You know, when you say a pillar of U.S. national security, that's code for we're keeping military there.
That's all that means.
A pillar?
You know, we have over a thousand military bases around the country.
Those are also our pillars.
A pillar.
Did you know this was a pillar of our national security?
A pillar that we antagonize North Korea doing war games off their coast.
Here we go.
Until last night, when Trump casually announced that that's over now, he's doing away with those.
Blind signed everybody involved.
So Rachel Maddow's upset that we're ratcheting down our military tensions with a nuclear power.
That's what that is.
That's called attacking Trump from the right.
He's not being bellicose enough with our military enemies.
Why is he offering to stop doing war games?
Well, because Chomsky just told you why.
Because that's a reasonable demand.
Stop flying nuclear-capable airplanes off our coast because we remember you decimated our country not too long ago.
Stop doing that.
Rachel Maddow says that's a bad thing.
And why is Trump doing this?
You ready?
Here we go.
And gave North Korea something they desperately want and would do almost anything for.
Except he gave it to him for free.
How come?
For free.
He gave it to him for free.
No, they said they were going to denuclearize.
That's the tentative agreement.
So Rachel Madows, like, oh, he can't, look, they have to have this border crossing with Russia.
So she's implying that Trump did this because Putin told her.
Coat told him to.
Do you want to watch that again?
I'll watch it without stopping.
Russia has just this tiny little border.
11-mile-long border with North Korea.
Why would you mention that?
Would you ever even think Russia has this tiny little border?
She literally is tying Trump's deal with Kim Jong-un to Russia.
Did you know that Rachel Maddow can connect Kevin Bacon to Russia in just two degrees?
She's had a year and a half of practice.
All right.
I said I wouldn't stop it.
I won't this time.
Russia has just this tiny little border.
11-mile-long border with North Korea with one crossing on a train.
And they've got a troubled and varied history over the decades with that country.
But Russia is also increasingly straining at its borders right now and shoving back U.S. and Western influence, especially U.S. and Western military presence, anywhere near what it considers to be its own geopolitical interests.
And one of the things that they have started to loudly insist on is that the U.S. dropped those joint military exercises with South Korea.
They've just started to do this now.
That's been their position forever.
This is a progressive news show completely out of its mind, twisting facts to fit some crazy Russian narrative, and that somehow peace talks are a bad thing because Trump is doing it.
Do you realize how crazy this is?
The U.S. has kept those going as a pillar of U.S. national security strategy for 70 years now.
Until last night, when Trump casually announced that that's over now, he's doing away with those.
Blind-sided everybody involved and gave North Korea something they desperately want and would do almost anything for.
Except he gave it to them for free.
What is this?
She sounds like Sean Hannity talking about Obama.
Yeah.
Right?
Because she wants to keep that number one spot, which Sean Hannity had when Obama was president.
So this is exactly what's happening.
And people repeat, well, here's what Aaron Matei said.
He's been a friend of the show.
He's from Real News.
He says, he's talking about this video clip I just showed you.
He says this from Rachel Maddow is a perfect window into the prevailing mindset of elite liberal punditry these days, coming at Trump from the right to lament his call to pause U.S. war games in Korea.
And need I say it, inferring that this horrible development must be the fault of Putin.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Here's what Adam Johnson says from Fair.
He's also a friend of the show, MSNBC, again attacking Trump from the right.
Complete categorical erasure of South Koreans and South Korea left.
The easiest, cheapest national security flattering banality, totally partisan myopia.
This is Rachel Maddow beating war drums.
This is her being the opposite of a progressive.
Why?
Because Trump.
Because she's got to keep her number one rating spot as the number one newspaper on all the cable, just like Sean Hannity talked to Benghazi.
And this, this, this isn't something fun for us to make fun of.
This has real consequences, what Rachel Maddow does, stuff like that.
Here's Andy Richter, who I think's a fine comedian.
Love Randy Richter, the work he does.
Good actor, good comedian, good person.
I'm sure he's a good person.
I have that feeling.
I can tell.
But here is a guy parroting what Rachel Maddow.
She's saying, glad to hear Maddow talking about cancellation of the Korean Peninsula military exercises that Trump promised for nothing in return have long been a goal of Russia.
This has long been the goal of Russia.
Can we all talk a lot more about how often Trump seems to rep Russia's interest over ours?
What is wrong?
What happens for an irregular normal person like Andy Richter?
What happens?
What happened?
Dude, do you know how many awkward dinner conversations I've had with people who I agree with 99% of the time?
But then when Trump comes up, they start frothing at the mouth.
And it's just, yeah, I don't like Trump either, but I don't want to see him cause a world war.
Nor do I think that freeze for freeze isn't a good thing.
It is a good thing.
It doesn't matter that I don't like the players involved.
This is lunacy.
Imagine the pathology of hating someone so much you'd gladly risk global immolation rather than admit they might be going in the right direction with North Korea.
I don't know, Jimmy.
Can't we all talk a little more about how Trump seems to represent Russia's interest over.
What are you talking about?
Here he says, kind of makes you wonder what Putin is telling Trump in their supposedly frequent phone conversation.
This is just unhinged, crazy.
He decides to have a peace talk with a nuclear power and you guys shit on him for it.
What Chomsky just said we should be doing.
You know, I personally want to go through Andy Richter's tweets and go, does he also call out for the imprisonment of war criminals?
So here are these people from the hashtag resistance, Rachel Maddow, a fine gentleman, Andy Richter, who I'm sure they also said Trump is a madman and he's going to have his finger on the nuclear button and he's crazy and that shouldn't happen.
And then they go, hey, maybe we should keep wrapping up tensions with the nuclear power, though.
Why doesn't he want to keep ratcheting up tensions with the nuclear power?
So do you see how that's contradictory?
How that doesn't make any fucking sense?
How what Ron says has happened to these people, that you've let Trump steal your critical thinking skills?
You're literally contradicting yourself.
He's a madman who shouldn't be allowed the nuclear button.
Hey, he's going to ratchet down to, hey, what's the matter?
Why is he ratcheting down?
This crazy guy doesn't want to do nuclear war with the nuclear people.
Give him more money for war.
Give him more money for war.
Who, the crazy guy?
And then expand his surveillance state powers too.
What's going on with this crazy guy?
Why doesn't he want to do war?
Wait a minute.
I'm afraid he might do war.
Which is it?
Which is it?
It's whatever it is today that they, Benghazi, Benghazi, Benghazi.
This is your Benghazi.
My mind is blown.
Because Carl Reiner, I love Rob Reiner.
I love Rob Reiner.
He's a great, great actor, great director, great everything.
I love fucking Andy Richter.
I used to love Rachel Maddow.
And what you have said, Ron, has happened.
They've allowed Trump to steal their critical thinking skills.
It's amazing.
You're cheering on war.
You're cheering on a guy who you call a crazy man.
You're cheering him on to ratchet up tensions with another nuclear power.
And somehow, conspiracy theorist Rachel Maddow, who is a conspiracy theorist like a maniac, somehow brought in Russia to this.
is sirhan sirhan no this is not sir hans yo ye id hey you know there's a lot more to that phone call but we don't have time in today's podcast how do you hear the entire phone call you got you got to become a premium member go to jimmydorcomedy.com sign up it's the most affordable premium program in the business today's show was written that's right it was written by frank connoff jim earl
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