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April 26, 2018 - Jimmy Dore Show
01:06:13
20180426_0426_TJDS_PODCAST
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Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program.
The Jimmy Dore Show.
Hello, this is Jimmy.
Hello, Jimmy.
This is Christiana Mampoor from CNN.
Oh, hi, Christian.
Hello.
Do you have a few moments to chat?
Yes, as a matter of fact, I do.
Brilliant.
Splendid.
Well, let's get started.
When did you decide to get into the conspiracy theory business?
Was that a childhood dream of yours?
Okay, I'm not a conspiracy theorist.
I host a news and comedy program on YouTube, also available as a podcast.
But it says right here, Peddles Conspiracy Theories.
That's written down.
Right.
It's written down on CNN's website.
That's your website.
Yeah, that doesn't make it true.
They are lying to get us to go to war.
It's not a conspiracy theory.
It's the exact thing that's happened in this country a mere 15 effing years ago.
And I'm saying it's happening again right now.
Don't you think that's a bit of a stretch that history would, I don't know, repeat itself, for lack of a better word.
That the same thing would happen again, since no preventative measures have been taken against it, and that people stand to profit significantly from it.
That certainly sounds like conspiratorial thinking to me.
Oh, does it now?
I'm afraid so.
The government and the media are lying to us.
That's tinfoil hat territory.
Let me ask you a question.
Fine.
Yes, I think the earth is round.
Didn't you used to be a war correspondent?
Yes, I did for many years.
Now, you're paid well for that, right?
Oh, are you kidding?
In the mid-2000s, I was rolling in it.
Iraq, Afghanistan, then London and Paris to the best restaurants and hotels imaginable for little RNR.
It was the high point of my career.
And now?
Well, with this frustrating lack of American-led international war disasters, I've been reduced to doing a sex and love around the world show.
I go to all these kinhorn countries and try to have excruciating conversations with extremely uncomfortable women until I eventually find out they don't even have a clitoris.
I'd kill for a war so I could go back to bomb painting.
That's where the real money is.
So you personally would profit from a war?
Oh, absolutely.
And with the ratings, CNN makes money off war, right?
Oh, hand over fist.
So you don't see the possible connection between that and CNN trying to marginalize anti-war voices in alternative media?
Hmm.
I'm not sure what you're getting at.
Really?
That's pretty amazing.
Wouldn't it behoove CNN and you personally to have the population generally in favor of going to war?
Still not seeing it.
That sounds pretty conspiratorial to me.
Maybe you can get the unicorn and the minotaur that are probably right next to you to see it your way.
While I have you on the phone, I do have this dumb show, so I should probably ask some questions for that.
Are there any sex conspiracy theories?
Or perhaps are there.
Perhaps are there kinky ways conspiracy theory people have sex?
Perhaps using the tinfoil or something.
All right, goodbye.
You have sex in tinfoil, Jimmy Dore.
It's the Jimmy Dore Show.
It's the Jimmy Dore Show.
The show for low-in-law bluffies.
The kind of people that are comments maybe on tearing down our nation.
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper say.
And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore.
Hey, everybody.
Welcome to this week's Jimmy Dore Show.
Second show added July 1st in Portland, Oregon.
First show sold out.
Second show, July 1st.
Go to JimmyDoorComedy.com for a link for all shows.
Hey, now, let's get to the jokes before we get to the jokes, shall we?
Hey, did you hear the DNC still not getting rid of super delegates?
Supporters of super delegates at the DNC say they want super delegates because it assures that Democrats have the strongest candidate possible in the general election.
Hey, 2016 called said, cool story, bro.
Hey, Donald Trump brought on former Mayor Rudy Giuliani to his legal team.
I don't think Donald Trump knows that, hey, 9-11 happened, never forget, isn't a legal defense.
Hey, did you see Jake Tapper retweeted an article from The Intercept the other day?
That's the closest he'll ever get to real journalism.
My biggest worry about Scott Pruitt's $43 million booth of silence is that one day Steve Corell will make a really unfunny version of it.
I like Steve Carell.
Hey, did you hear what happened at that waffle house?
Guy went in naked.
Shot some people.
Guy ripped the guy.
He got the gun out of his hand without a gun.
Isn't that something?
Imagine if that shooter was black.
Picture, if you will, a world where a black kid commits mass murder, runs naked around town for a day with an assault rifle, and is captured safely by police, concerned about his motivations.
It could happen in the Twilight Zone.
Hey, I just got a summons from the DNC for using the word cankles at a dinner party.
That's so wrong.
Hey, I'm a corporate Democrat, and I'm all for Sanders' universal income plan, but it needs to be done incrementally over a period of several mass extinctions.
And it simply must not be allowed to drain money from Raytheon tax breaks and bombing weddings in eight Muslim countries.
Yeah.
Hey, every year, more Americans die from raffles than guns, says the NRA.
So what's coming up on today's show?
Guess what?
CNN smears an anti-war progressive as an extremist, far-left conspiracy peddler.
Who would that be?
The answer just may surprise you.
Or will it?
Plus, the DNC is suing Wikileaks, Russia, and Donald Trump, everybody except who's actually responsible for the Democrats' demise.
Chris Hayes interviews Tom Perez about it and commits journalistic malpractice over the DNC lawsuit.
Plus, we got phone calls today from Christian Amampour, Jeb Bush, Barack Obama, and Mitt Robbie.
Plus, a lot lot more.
That's today on the Jimmy Door show.
Have everybody.
Welcome to the Jimmy Doer show.
I'm here at the Miserable Liberal and Ron Placone.
I'm miserable.
Howdy, howdy.
So let's check in.
Let's see what Bernie Sanders is doing today.
Oh, this is from Katrina Vandenhoeff.
She says Sanders is retrieving the best of our country's radical ideas.
Here is he's embracing FDR's economic bill of rights, the sort of bold thinking we need.
Sanders to introduce a plan to guarantee every American a job.
He's embracing the sort of bold thinking we need.
There you go.
Wow.
So what are the Democrats doing?
Probably something just as substantial, I'm sure.
I mean, if that's what one guy's doing, Democrats must be up to a lot.
The Democrats are, let's see what they're doing.
I think.
Pelosi weren't alerted about the lawsuit until the DNC was about to file.
Tom Perez, the chairman of the...
Almost as productive as what Bernie's up to.
I would say that's really neck and neck.
Well, people, everywhere I go, people are like, hey, when's the DNC lawsuit starting?
People are like, why don't they?
I'm like, oh, you guys don't want to know about the jobs that you're.
Who cares about jobs?
Who's talking about that?
The DNC has their finger on the pulse.
That's the look of a guy who has his finger on the pulse.
So Chris Hayes interviewed Tom Perez about the DNC lawsuit.
And Tom Perez kept underhanding with the lob with an arc on it, these softballs to Chris Hayes to knock.
And Chris Hayes did not hit one of those.
He did not lay a glove on Tom Perez.
So what Chris Hayes does at this interview is he plays nice with the Democratic Party to please his geriatric audience.
He tossed the softball back.
He tosses off all the way.
It was like, everybody wins.
We just want to keep the folly going.
Oh, the headline, by the way, DNC files lawsuit alleging nation should never ever stop focusing on 2016 elections.
So I think that's what the Democrats are trying to do.
They're trying to remind everybody that they pulled off that Hillary Clinton and the DNC committed the biggest election fraud in the history of our country because that's what they did.
And then when Donald Trump beat the most unlikable, unpopular nominee in the history of the party and country, they blamed another country.
And they're still doing it.
Here we go.
Watch out.
What a great job Chris Hayes does.
What's this?
This is so the thing that makes this pathetic.
Like if Don Lemon did this interview, you'd go, okay, well, Don Lemon tried.
But Chris Hayes is super smarty pants.
Just look at him, right?
And he's 10 times smarter than me.
So when he does a shitty job like he's about to do, you know he's doing it on purpose because he's a bought paid tool.
Okay, here we go.
Democratic National Committee, and he joins me now.
Chairman, why now?
So his first question is, Chairman, why now?
Not, what the are you effing?
Whose idea was this to make everybody remember the biggest election fraud in the history of our country?
Why would you do that?
Why aren't you proposing anything that actually helps people to try to win an election instead of doing PR stunts like this, which is what this is?
Okay, here we go.
Why now?
Three reasons, Chris.
Number one, we don't know how long the criminal.
Number one, we don't have any plans.
Number two, we have no ideas.
Number three, our donors told us not to do anything to help people.
So those would be the three.
I'm sorry.
What was it three?
Proceedings will take, and nor do we want to rush that.
And so we have to.
He said, we don't know how long the criminal proceedings are going to take, and we don't want to rush it.
Because, you know, civil proceedings fly by.
I bet you this will be in and out of court by July.
Am I wrong?
What?
It's the exact opposite is the truth.
And he knows it because he used to be a freaking, he's a lawyer.
He knows what he's saying is full of it.
It's the exact opposite.
And Chris Hayes, by the way, nails him on it without ever mentioning it.
I guess he does.
That's how he nails people now.
He doesn't say anything.
In order to preserve our rights under the civil justice system, statute of limitations, things of that nature.
So we have that legal imperative.
Number two, over the course of the last year, I've done my homework.
A year ago, it was clear.
If I had a nickel for every time he blinks during this answer, I could buy Bank of America.
Okay, here we go.
Me that the Russians had hacked the DNC and they did it with the purpose of helping Donald Trump and hurting the Democrats.
But we didn't have the evidence a year ago connecting the Russians and the Trump campaign.
We have that evidence now.
So I'm sure Chris Hayes is going to say, oh my God, you have the evidence.
What is it?
Let's see if I had a nickel for every time he had an original thought in that statement.
I wouldn't have enough for a little Debbie Snack.
Why we move forward.
And thirdly, Chris, I'm worried about the 2018 elections.
There is no accountability for what the Russians did.
There was no accountability for the Democratic Party rigging the election and screwing the country out of a progressive and handing the presidency to Donald Trump.
There's never been an accounting for that.
Do you know that?
No one's ever gotten in trouble for that.
No one went to court.
No one went to jail.
Nobody got, there was no nothing.
Don of Brazil laid it all out for us.
WikiLeaks revealed how corrupt the freaking DNC.
This is unbelievable.
So what does that mean?
That means the DNC is going to rig the next one too.
They're doing it right now.
And Bernie Sanders, whose heart is in the right place, is making a mistake.
Instead of starting a third party, which would be the most popular party in the country, because he is by far the most popular politician in the country, he is sheepdogging people into this guy's party.
And this guy's whole job is to lie to you.
His whole job is to gaslight you.
That's his whole job.
But the cracks are coming, And he can't hold it.
The center will not hold.
They do things with impunity because this administration won't hold them accountable.
We've got to hold them accountable.
That's what the civil justice system is about.
So I'm sure Chris is going to say, who's going to hold you guys accountable for screwing over the primary?
Let's see what he says.
Accountability.
It's about deterrence.
Our democracy is on fire, and we have to preserve our democracy.
We've got to preserve full and fair elections.
So the questions Chris Hayes should ask is: what is the new evidence?
You guys have new evidence.
And two, who's holding you accountable for rigging your own primaries that we all know is complete rigged?
Those would be the two questions.
Let's see what he asks him.
It's a big part of what this is about.
But the entities aren't going to be held accountable before the 2018 midterms, right?
I mean, I've been around civil litigation a little bit, and boy, does that take a while?
So he didn't ask any of those questions.
He didn't ask what the new evidence is.
He didn't ask about what about you guys rigging the primary.
Are you still going to use super delegates, which is the most undemocratic thing in the world?
Nothing.
He just goes, I bet that's going to take a while.
That's his big question.
His first question, why now?
His second question is, I know a little bit.
It's going to take a while.
Why don't you just have his mom interview him, Chris?
Are you kidding me?
This is you.
Well, absolutely.
We won't finish the case before now, but we want to send a very, very clear signal.
If you want to mess with elections here, there are going to be consequences.
Unless you're in the Democratic Party.
Then there is no consequences whatsoever because we go in front of a bought media, a guy like Chris Hayes, who doesn't have any integrity left, and he's going to give me a pass.
Watch this.
They're raising the cost of your interference.
We know that this administration is Putin's poodle.
And so they're not going to do anything.
A little McCarthy smear on top of it.
No one in the country gives a shit about this.
No one.
Well, you know what's interesting is how they both pointed out that this thing's going to take a really long time because it's music to both their ears that Russia, Russia, Russia is going to continue indefinitely.
That's what both of them want.
How about Jimmy?
On October 24th, 2016, Hillary Clinton tweeted, Donald Trump refused to say that he'd respect the results of this election.
That's a direct threat to our democracy.
So we will continue to act.
If you want to do that, if you're going to punch us, quite frankly, Chris, we're going to punch back.
And that's what this lawsuit is about.
We are protecting our democracy.
When you go after the right to vote, when you go after the institution of elections, that is the essence of our democracy.
So this wasn't simply an attack on the DNC.
This was an attack on our democracy.
Just a few of the reactions for some of the people that are named here, Roger.
Just a few.
So just a few of the reactions.
So I'm not going to ask you a question ever.
Chris Hayes is just basically saying, I'm not going to ask you a question, really.
I'm never going to ask you a question.
And so what he's going to do now is he's going to read stuff that other people have said and then not even make Tom Perez answer it.
Watch this.
Stone says it's bogus, it's meritless, it's baseless, based on conjecture, speculation, supposition.
Some lawyers will have to.
You go to Roger Stone?
Since when is Roger Stone anyone gives a shit what Roger Stone says about anything?
What's when is Roger Stone?
Why so the reason why Chris Hayes goes to Roger Stone is to discredit the critics of this stupid PR stunt, which is what this is.
This is a stupid, transparent PR stunt, which actually is already backfiring on the Democrats.
That's how horrible they are in politics.
And Chris Hayes, nothing, not saying one thing relevant.
And in fact, he does their bidding.
That's what they do.
Ed Schultz just let us know that Chris Hayes got a phone call from Phil Griffin saying, this is the story you're leading with, and this is what you're going to say about it.
Chris, that's what Ed Schultz already let us know happens over there.
Sanctioned for wasting the course time.
The Trump campaign says that the Trump camera will be prepared to leverage the discovery process, explore the DNC's now secret records about the actual corruption they perpetrated.
And of course, the president tweeting that it's good news that it will now counter for the DNC server that they refused to give to the FBI.
That is a great point.
The DNC never gave their server to the FBI.
Why?
Why?
Oh, I don't know.
You tell me.
So that's game over.
If you don't want to give your server to the FBI or the Department of Homeland Security and you think someone did something that's so important, they undermine our democracy, but you can't have our server, you're bullshit.
And that's a great point.
And Chris Hayes lets it go right by.
Watch this.
Watch what he focuses on.
Well, he's going to focus on what's in yellow.
Watch this.
And then he said the Wendy Wasserman Schultz servers.
I think that he then later corrected it.
Debbie Wasserman Schultz.
A document held by the Pakistani mystery man and Clinton emails.
So what Chris Hayes is probably going to go, hey, why is that?
You never gave this server.
That's a big red flag.
And my journalistic bullshit detector just went off.
Is that what he's going to say?
Let's see.
The people you've sued have gotten your attention, I guess.
Well, I mean.
He didn't even ask him a question.
He has yet to ask him a question in this entire interview.
Not one critical question, not one probing question, nothing.
His first question was, why now?
His second question was, this is going to take a while.
His third question was, you've certainly got the attention of the people that you want to get the attention of.
This is a guy who's held up as a journalist.
This is what it looks like when a journalist gets paid $30,000 a day to prop up the establishment in the Democratic Party and do softball interviews with guys who are lying to the people.
Well, he might still have some more questions.
I'm predicting the last one is going to be, can we take a selfie?
But let's see what happens.
All right, here we go.
I saw that response and it was kind of the greatest hits of all their wild conspiracy theories.
He's in the middle of pushing a conspiracy.
This is how it works now.
Do you need any more proof that people use the term conspiracy theory to discredit people with legitimate concerns?
Because that's a legitimate concern.
And what he's doing is pushing a conspiracy with no evidence.
And he's been doing it for two years.
The conspiracy is Trump is a Manchurian candidate who's in bed with the Russians.
He has no evidence.
They've had him phone tapped for two freaking years.
And everybody in that White House campaign are all tapped.
That's how William Binney explained it to us.
When they put a tap on one person next to Trump, they can now do two hops, meaning that person and anybody he talks to and any person that person talks to.
Now they're all surveilled.
And they still got nothing two years later.
What's the evidence, Tom?
Wow.
And here's the thing for me, Chris.
I spent 12.
The thing for me is that I'm a good bullshit.
Actually, I'm not.
People see right through me.
And I get booed at live events.
Years or so at the Justice Department.
They were some of the best years of my professional Life.
I worked as a career prosecutor under Republican and Democratic administrations.
I believe in the civil justice system.
This case now goes before an Article III judge.
It's not trial by Twitter.
It's trial in a court of law where fake news and the things that they're talking about that are just so unfactual.
He's in the middle of pushing a conspiracy theory with no facts, none.
And he's allowed to say the exact opposite on a news show on a news show.
That's amazing.
Upside down and backwards.
People say that when I won't buy into the Russiate conspiracy theory, they go, oh, Jimmy's a conspiracy theorist because he doesn't buy into the Russia gate.
No, that's the exact opposite.
That's how effed up everyone is.
And they're effed up because of people like Chris Hayes lets it happen.
Journalistic malpractice on the highest order.
And he does it right out in public.
Just like Chris Hedges says, they're so brazen now.
They just steal from you right out in public.
He does this right out in public.
Like nobody who watches this show gives it.
So who does watch that show?
What is the brain deadness of the people who watch this show?
Wait a second.
We'll do what they're saying, and I want you to be clear on this.
What they're saying is this is fundamentally a political messaging document.
It is not a serious lawsuit.
Well, I'll tell you, Chris.
He says what they're saying there, you mean Roger Stone and Trump?
Or how about, I don't know, everyone in the world.
So he makes it look like it's Roger Stone and Trump.
That's his big pushback.
And then he won't even say, hey, to me, it looks like a PR document.
He picks Roger Stone and Trump to discredit it, and then he throws it back.
It's brilliant, brilliant, brilliant toolwork by Chris Hayes.
This is not about partisanship.
It's about patriotism.
And I'll tell you one other thing.
When the lawsuit was filed by the DNC against the Nixon campaign, that was the exact response of the Nixon campaign and John Mitchell and other folks who later became...
Did they do that too?
Jesus Christ.
Convicted felons.
And we saw what happened in Watergate.
And we will see what will happen here.
Sure.
1972, shortly after break-in, DNC falls away.
So Chris Hayes just totally goes, whatever way he goes, Chris Hayes just follows him.
Whatever he brings up.
Yeah, it's true.
That is what happened.
That is what happened.
It's true.
He had so many soundbite opportunities, too.
When Tom Perez totally stuttered addressing some of the critiques, like, oh, well, they are going with their things that are totally unfactual.
Perfect opportunity.
Oh, so set the record straight right now.
The FBI saw the DNC service then, right?
Is that what you're going to say?
That's not true.
So they saw it then, set the record straight.
No, no.
So settlement on the day that Nixon leaves office, if I'm mistaken.
Finally, I'm Senator Claire Haskell, who's in one.
Finally.
Finally.
So now, finally, this is his final question.
Finally.
He comes close, almost close to asking a question.
Most contested races in the entire country, Missouri, of course.
She called this lawsuit a silly distraction.
And I wonder if you, your response to that.
That's it.
And I wonder if you are going to admit what's obvious to everyone, including a senator on the Democratic Party.
That this is a silly.
Chris Hayes doesn't have the balls that Claire McCaskill has.
And he's not even in the party.
He's not a member of the ruling party.
He doesn't have the balls Claire McCaskill has.
Isn't that stunning?
Well, what's also stunning is that the Democrats are so incompetent.
They're making me agree with Claire McCaskill on something.
I'm actually agreeing with her on this one.
You can walk and chew gum.
I love Senator McCaskill.
We've invested in her race.
We're going to continue to invest in her race because she's a great senator.
And she's a great senator who called you on your bullsh.
But I'll tell you, I disagree for the simple reason that our democracy is at risk here.
We have to make sure that the elections coming up in November are fair.
And they invaded us the last time.
They hacked the DNC.
They tried to influence the outcome of the election.
There's no accountability in the White House.
And why wouldn't they do it again?
And we can walk and chew gum at the DNC.
All right, DNC chairman.
Hey, Jimmy.
Thank you very much.
Jimmy.
That's it.
That's it.
That was the whole interview.
Come on.
Even fake progressives that he brings on his show would ask better questions than that.
Come on.
I like how he has the analogy, we can walk and chew gum at the same time.
You're a major political party with no actual platform.
You have no plan.
Yeah, in this analogy, I wouldn't even trust you to chew gum without giving you thorough instructions first.
Like, don't swallow it.
Listen, he can walk and chew gum.
That doesn't mean we're going to get democracy.
I want to go back to that point where Hillary Clinton, so this is in response to Chris Wallace saying, Trump, will you honor the results of the election?
And he goes, well, in time, I will, blah, blah, blah.
Well, her response later, Hillary's, was, we've had free and fair elections, and we've accepted the outcomes when we may not have liked them.
And that is what must be expected of anyone standing on this debate stage during a general election to accept the results of the election.
Is there a video of her saying that?
Oh, it's not available on this.
Oh, isn't that interesting?
That's not that video.
We're going to track that out.
Here we are.
I made this point before.
It was before the election when everyone was sure Hillary was going to win.
They were wagging their finger at Trump because they were afraid he was going to tell his supporters that they rigged the election, which they did wing the primary.
And they were afraid that there might be unrest in the country.
And how dare Donald Trump not accept the results of the election?
And look what is happening.
The exact to show that you, they have no integrity.
They're the opposite of honest people.
And they're liars when they say that Trump should exist.
They're political operators.
They lie if they're opening their mouth.
The Clinton campaign are liars, cheaters, and criminals.
And Chris Hayes just let him get away with it.
Didn't lay a glove, didn't even try.
He didn't try.
Did you see those questions?
Did you even have like your assistant producer maybe even draw up some questions?
No, they're like, hey, Tom Perez is coming on to do some PR stunt.
Do we need questions?
No, we don't need questions, you dummy.
It's Tom Perez, the DNC, Trump hate, whatever, ratings.
It's not about news.
What Chris Hayes is doing there, and what he does every night is his job is not to inform you.
His job is to make money for Comcast.
And in response, Comcast gives him $30,000 a day, thereabouts.
Probably more.
A day.
A day.
I think maybe Tom Perez just doesn't want to see our democracy hijacked because that's the superdelegates' job.
That's his house.
Must look out for his friends.
Jeb Bush has had a difficult week, so I thought I'd give him a call and give him my condolences.
Nom Yo-Ho Rangi-Kyo, Nam Yo-Ho, Rengikyo, Nam Yo-Ho, Rengikyo.
Hey, hello.
Hello, Jeb.
This is Jimmy Doerr.
Please accept our condolences for the passing.
Embrace, manifest, express your Buddha nature.
Embrace, manifest, express your Buddha nature.
Oh, hi, Dorr.
Nam Yo-Ho Rengekyo.
Hi, hi.
Is this a Buddhist mantra you're chanting?
Well, duh.
Nam Yo-Ho Reng Kyo.
Nam Yo-Ho Ring Kyo.
Jeb, does that chanting really work, though?
Well, she's dead, isn't she?
Nam Yo-Ho Renge Kyo.
Nam Yoho Renge Kyo.
Wait a minute.
You think you chanted your mother away with a Buddhist mantra?
Uh-huh.
Been doing this for years, and it finally worked.
Well, if it worked, how come you're still chanting it?
Because she might come back.
Nom Yo-Ho Ring Kyo.
Mom's not a happy sailor when she wakes up from the dead, believe you me.
I know because I've seen it.
Nam Yo-Ho Ring Kyo.
She can really hold a grudge.
You've seen her wake from the dead before.
Of course not, silly.
Give me a break, will you?
I was just joking.
Come on.
Jeez, oh, Willikers.
Yes, they've seen it.
It's real.
It's real.
Help me.
Sure.
Anyway, how'd the funeral go?
Oh, it was nice.
Good turnout.
The pastor gave a nice ceremony.
He reassured us about the hereafter by answering all our questions like, hey, is it officially grab-ass if the ass in question is now in the seventh level of the underworld?
I mean, heaven.
And will mom be able to look down and see us doing our private things.
And what did he say?
He said no, and I said, boy, you don't know mom.
So you think your mom is watching everything you do right now?
Well, yeah, sure.
Hope she didn't see how much I had to tip the sin eaters.
What's a sin eater?
Don't play coy with me, Jimmy.
You know what sin eating is.
That's where you hire some gypsies to pile food all around a dead loved one so the family can eat her sins.
It's our heritage.
Eat her sins.
Yeah, back in Washington, you got to have sin eaters on regular salary.
Otherwise, they try to squeeze you when politicians and their families start dying in pairs.
But here in Texas, all you got to do is drive your hearse to the nearest home depot for some cheap hired sin eaters.
So Texas sin eaters don't have their own union?
It's best to work with private enterprise before taking any drastic measures like that, Jimmy.
I know sin eaters are having a hard time, but I believe only a market-based solution can work.
Can you give us any last thoughts on your mother's lasting legacy?
Man, that coffin sure was heavy.
Man.
No.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Hey, you know, we no longer have an Amazon link because we're not doing that.
We're not playing that game.
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My Donald Trump caller ID tells me Lion Mitt Romney's on the line.
Or is it Sad Mitt or Loser Mitt?
Hello?
Jimmy boy, Lion Mitt on the phone.
What?
Hey, that's not my name.
Why you I oughta, by golly.
I'm sorry, Mitt, but that's what it says on my Trump caller ID.
That's ridiculous.
What version are you using?
10.1.6.
Why?
Well, there's a problem.
What a lame-mo you are, Jimmy.
You need an update to version 11.2, let's drill in Yosemite.
On that version, he calls me Dick Cheese Mitt Romney.
Get with it, pal.
Hey, I thought you were going to distance yourself from Donald Trump to show your independence.
When I am anointed senator, you'll see a big change.
Anointed?
Oh, did I say anointed?
I meant chosen by the Holy Father.
Chosen by the Holy Father?
Oh, did I say chosen by the Holy Father?
I meant elected.
But you didn't get the GOP nomination for the Utah Senate, and now you have to compete in the primary.
You failed to.
Don't say that.
Oh, geez.
Now what does your Trump caller ID say?
It says failure, Mitt.
I prefer dick cheese.
Thanks a lot.
Never mind.
While you're busy defending Assad, gassing his own people, I'll be campaigning hard to win the primary of a state I really don't live in, nor understand.
What with all the colored there now?
I never defended anyone for gassing people that you got that wrong.
I just don't think there's real proof.
Oh, you don't know the first thing about Sarangas, my friend.
Really?
What do you know about Sarangas?
A lot.
In my religion, it's the only thing we're allowed to get high on.
So what do you consider the biggest selling point of your Senate platform?
I vow to repeal Romney Care if elected to the Senate.
The Mitt Romney's a real dick cheese, and he's bad for our country.
Once that's done, I'll just be Mitt Romney again, not a dick cheese.
That's my theory, anyway.
Your nephew also failed to make the primary ballot for Colorado governor.
I know, what a dick cheese.
Can you give us any parting thoughts on the death of Barbara Bush?
I am just so struck by what a great love story that is.
Barbara and George Bush, like Abelard and Heloise, Romeo and Juliet, or even Gargantua and Pantagruel.
Google it.
I like to do the smarter references for the premium members.
How would you compare the love between you and your wife with that of the Bushes?
In a nutshell?
Yes, please.
If they were anything like me and WhatsApp, soon after they met, they found themselves so entwined that neither could resist the bestial desires of their bodies, even though they knew the laws of the time forbade such a union.
It was only their physical love and the strength of their passion, which proved to be a power no mere mortal could resist.
And if they were truly anything like us, two years later, Millie was fear-shitting all over the roof of their Range Rover.
Here's John Kerry in front of the House Foreign Affairs Committee.
And he's talking about Saudi Arabia offering to pay, I'm going to guess Saudi Arabia and Qatar to pay for our military to overthrow Assad.
You think I'm kidding?
Let's listen.
With respect to Arab countries offering to bear cost and to assess the answers, profoundly yes.
With the question of Arab countries willing to bear costs, let's listen again.
With respect to Arab countries offering to bear cost and to assess the answers, profoundly yes.
Profoundly, profoundly yes.
Gets better.
Can you expand on that, please?
Expand.
Who, what?
Secretary, and the details on the offer and the proposal on the table.
What are the figures that we're talking about?
Well, we don't know what action we're engaged in right now, but they've been quite significant.
I mean, very significant.
In fact.
Watch how he giggles right before he says it.
Some of them have said that if the United States is prepared to go do the whole thing the way we've done it previously in other places, they'll carry that cost.
That's how dedicated they are in this.
If the United States is willing to go do it alone like they've done in other cases, what other cases?
You mean Afghanistan?
You mean Iraq?
You mean Libya?
What are you talking about?
That they'll bear the cost?
That's exactly what he just said.
I'll play it one more time.
Here we go.
Secretary.
And the details on the offer and the proposal on the table.
What are the figures that we're talking about?
Well, we don't know what action we're engaged in right now, but they've been quite significant.
I mean, very significant.
In fact, some of them have said that if the United States is prepared to go do the whole thing the way we've done it previously in other places, they'll carry that cost.
That's how dedicated they are in this.
Obviously, I'm the conspiracy theorist because I tell the truth.
I just repeat what John Kerry said.
And let's remember, CNN is not there to inform you.
They're there to make money.
And they take ads from the military industrial complex and they take ads from fossil fuel companies.
And that's why we're at war.
And when all of a sudden YouTube independent voices poke holes in their lies, they smear us.
Here's what's happening.
So here's the natural gas pipeline that Qatar, Saudi Arabia wants to put through Syria and so they can sell it to Europe.
Well, guess who sells it to Europe now?
Russia wants to sell it to Europe.
And so that's why there's going to be maybe a World War III over this.
So here's that article on CNN.
Here it is.
Exclusive.
YouTube ran ads from hundreds of brands on extremist channels.
Oh boy.
Here comes.
YouTube has a billion hours viewed every day, a billion hours of content viewed every day.
And so sometimes ads slip through their algorithms and get on certain channels that those advertisers wouldn't be friendly with.
But those advertisers don't have any problem advertising when CNN pushes this conspiracy about WMDs in Iraq.
That's okay.
Or pushes a conspiracy about that we need to go into Libya and advocates for literally killing people.
So when CNN literally advocates for killing people, that's advertised.
Just so you know, that's advertised.
I'm a peace activist.
I'm advocating for peace and detente.
And they'll demonetize my videos because I'm advocating for peace and detente and telling the truth about war.
And here's some of their article.
And by the way, Jenk Uger destroyed this yesterday on his show.
Destroyed this.
Everybody has destroyed this.
Who's taking a look at it?
Everybody.
Even people who don't like me.
Even people who don't like me and have called me every name in the book have done videos defending me.
That's how effed up CNN is on this.
And they're in trouble, by the way.
This isn't going to end good for them.
It's going to be an embarrassment for them, even more so than it is today.
This is not going to end well.
Okay.
Ads from over 300 companies and organizations, including tech giants, major retailers, newspapers, and government agencies, ran on YouTube channels promoting white nationalists, Nazis, pedophilia, conspiracy theories, and North Korean propaganda.
A CNN investigation has found.
It's funny how they investigated without ever contacting me.
Isn't that weird?
Wouldn't you want to contact one of the guys who are target of your story for a quote?
Maybe that would be Journalism 101.
Sorry, Steph.
No, just maybe they were unable to figure out how to actually contact somebody as an interview.
They probably have to, maybe they could get an app.
They don't even know how to check facts.
They had to team up with factcheck.org so they could check facts.
They're a news organization.
You think they would have some kind of, hey, you guys, how do we check facts around here?
We don't do that.
Well, let's go.
Isn't there an app or something that could do that?
Factcheck.org.
Is there a website?
Let's team up with them and they'll fact check.
That's what CNN is.
Companies such as all these companies have unknowingly helped finance some of these channels via the advertisements they paid for on Google-owned YouTube.
Now, what CNN doesn't tell you is that CNN is competing with YouTube for advertising dollars, which is a major journalistic omission.
A major journalist.
Of course it is.
U.S. tax dollars may have gone to the channels too.
Ads from five government agencies, such as the Department of Transportation Centers for Disease Control, appeared on.
Hold on, hold on.
Can I just say this about tax dollars?
Yeah.
Okay.
You know where my tax dollars are going?
Seven wars that I don't want to participate in.
That's right.
And if I say, this is fucked up, all these wars.
You're an extremist.
You're a conspiracy theorist extremist, according to CNN.
CNN, which has pushed every war in my lifetime.
Every war.
Many of the companies that responded to CNN, so they cut.
So, what CNN does is they then go and contact the advertisers.
They contact me.
They contact the advertisers.
They're going, hey, you know, you're at.
So they're, this is like nefarious, underhanded bullshit.
This is unethical.
So many of the companies that responded to CNN say we're unaware their ads have been placed on these channels and we're investigating how they ended up there.
One of the companies Under Armour is pausing its advertising.
Mission accomplished, CNN is pausing its advertising by on the platform after CNN notified the company.
Its ads appeared on a white nationalist YouTube channel called Wife with a Purpose.
YouTube's bottom line hasn't been hit, said Nicole Perrin, a senior analyst at e-marketer who covers advertising and marketing technology.
If brands want to make sure things stop, the only way for that to happen is for them to stop spending on YouTube until it's fixed.
Well, that's weird that you would want CNN would want them to stop spending on my channel because they had Rand Paul on their network saying exactly what I said.
Maybe advertisers should know that they provide a platform to Rand Paul.
Maybe they think he's an extremist and a conspiracy theorist too, because he says the exact same thing we say here, but you're airing it on CNN.
So this isn't about journalism.
This is about getting advertising off their competitors' platform.
Brands continue advertising on YouTube to reach its huge audience, especially younger generations.
Why?
Because could you, I keep saying this fake number, could you look up the real number?
What's the average age of CNN's viewer?
I'm going to guess it's 67 years old.
YouTube says it has over a billion users that every day those users watch a billion hours of video.
68.
Average age viewer of YouTube of CNN, 68.
Three years past retirement.
That's their average age viewer.
And YouTube has the younger viewers.
What they're trying to, this isn't journalism.
This is them trying to get a competitor defunded.
YouTube continues to place ads on channels run by the online and digital network InfoWars, which is also anti-war, which is also going against Trump on war.
So InfoWars getting the war right.
Isn't that weird?
InfoWars are for anti-intervention, like a lot of people on the right.
Like most of the country.
That's not an extreme position that InfoWars has.
That's a mainstream position.
It only sounds like it's radical because it's never repeated back to you in the mainstream news media.
Just like Chomsky taught us, which nobody at CNN has ever read Chomsky.
Because if they did, they couldn't look themselves in the mirror because they would know what they're doing is being a cog in an evil wheel of disinformation about war.
And what Chomsky taught us is that they don't want you to think that other people think like you.
So your opinion is never reflected back in the media.
So you think you're the only one thinking like that.
So when people watch someone like InfoWars, they go, wow, they must be crazy because they're the only ones saying that war is wrong.
No, they're actually reflecting the majority of the country's opinion.
InfoWars, which is notorious for promoting conspiracy theories.
Again, conspiracy, biggest conspiracy theory of my lifetime was pushed by CNN, which was Saddam has WMDs and we should attack him.
The biggest conspiracy theory in the history of this country that I've lived through, CNN was full-throated at the top of their lungs, ubiquitous, pushing for war.
Saddam had WMDs.
So was the Washington Post and the New York Times and every other goddamn establishment newspaper.
And MSNBC fired anyone who said the opposite.
And so now they can't control us at YouTube.
And this is how they're trying to control us.
And I said it last week.
As soon as I become a threat, they're going to try and shut us down.
I'm a threat, baby.
Congratulations.
Now the real fight starts.
Now the real smearing starts.
I saw what they're doing.
I showed you what they're doing at Dennis Kucinich right now at Huffington Post.
All the media is owned by six companies.
Keep that in mind.
And who are those six companies?
Those are the people we're supposed to be protesting and overturning.
YouTube continues to place ads on channels run by online and digital network, Infowars, which is notoriously for promoting conspiracy theories, despite the backlash it got from advertisers in the wake of CNN's reporting in March.
So this happened last year.
You know, adpocalypse happened because CNN did this again last year.
The adpocalypse happened.
They demonetized and defunded all independent news.
Then we had to build our way.
We had to claw our way back.
And now I'm clawed back.
We're maybe halfway back to where we were.
Maybe.
But still, every time I tell the truth about war, they demonetize it.
I did a video last week where I just showed a video of Chris Hayes talking about Gaza and the Israeli snipers shooting unarmed people.
He reported that at MSNBC and it blew everyone's mind that he was allowed to tell the truth about it for three whole minutes, three whole minutes.
Woo!
That I decided to play it on my show.
YouTube demonetized it.
CNN has since found that YouTube also put ads for Mozilla and 20th Century Fox films on a Nazi YouTube channel.
The Genius of Play, a campaign by the Toy Association promoting play and child development, has also pulled its ads from YouTube.
Mission accomplished.
After CNN found that ads for the campaign were placed on Amos Yi's channel, which he has used to promote pedophilia.
A billion hours of viewing time a day, and their algorithm doesn't catch everything.
It catches all of our stuff.
Believe me, especially when we're accurate.
And that's what, and this, so they're manufacturing a phony crisis, and now they're, and now using the hysteria to try to defund a competitor.
That's what it looks like from this analysis.
Red Star TV says it is an information project of the DPRK Solidarity Group in which truthful information about North Korea is translated and disseminated.
A representative for the group told CNN that it is officially recognized by North Korea and receives, quote, information support from the regime.
If the channels are monetized, which Infowars has previously claimed they are, the major newspapers could have unknowingly supported disinformation and conspiracy.
You mean like they unwittingly supported our war in Libya and unwittingly supported our war in Iraq and are unwittingly supporting the war we started in Syria, which CNN will never tell you that because that would hurt their advertising dollars.
Ads also appeared.
Oh, here it is.
And then right at the bottom of the article, right before it ended, they had to do a false equivalence.
And because our show is taking off and we call out CNN on a daily basis, they had to then smear us and put us in at the end of the article.
And here it is.
Ads also appeared on the Jimmy Dore show channel, a far left YouTube channel.
Folks, even people who hate my guts and have their own show don't call me far left.
You know why they don't call me far left?
Because I advocate for things that are popular with the majority of the country.
Medicare for all, free college, ending the wars, bans on fracking, taxing Wall Street, breaking up the big banks, a jobs program, infrastructure.
These are all things that the majority of Americans are for.
But CNN, because they need to smear me so they can try to get us advertised because they don't have anybody under 68 watching their god bullshit news show because anybody under 68 years old knows it's bullshit they have to do this to actuals to shows that have actual millennials watching they call us a far left youtube channel that peddles
I panel conspiracy theories.
Such as that the Syrian chemical weapons attack are hoaxes.
So there you go.
Here's Ron Paul on CNN.
Reaction.
Did the White House undercut Ambassador Haley?
Well, I think before you talk about sanctions, we ought to talk about, you know, what evidence is there that Russia was complicit in this attack?
In fact, for that matter, I still look at the attack and say, you know, Assad either must be the dumbest dictator on the planet or maybe he didn't do it.
I have yet to see evidence that he did do it.
The intelligence agencies claim they have that evidence.
But think about it.
Does it make any sense he's been winning the war for the last couple of years?
The only thing that would galvanize the world to attack Assad directly is a chemical attack.
It killed relatively few people compared to what can be killed with traditional bombs, traditional machine guns, traditional tanks.
and so you wonder really what logic would there be for assad to be using chemical weapons so before we get to the russians we have to first determine that the syria was implicated and then really we ought to determine what the connection is between russia and zero on serious attack as you know not just the u.s but france and the u.
they participated in the bombing of these chemical sites in Syria.
Are you saying, Senator, the president had bad intelligence?
I don't know.
I haven't seen the intelligence.
We have a briefing this afternoon where I may see some of this.
But the difficulty is these things are not a slam dunk.
This was back in 2013.
President Obama looked at that chemical attack.
And at that point in time, there were his generals saying, hey, it's not a slam dunk.
Because you can detect that there were Syrian planes.
You can detect that Syrians dropped bombs.
But it's sometimes difficult to know whether they bombed an existing depot of weapons.
And the rebels have been known to use chemical weapons or whether the Syrians did it.
If the Syrians did it, it gets back to the question.
Assad must be the dumbest dictator on the planet to use chemical weapons when he knows, from previous evidence, it's the only thing that gets the world galvanized to attack him.
So that's the brilliance of CNN.
First of all, they called me an extremist and a conspiracy theorist for saying exactly what they just let Rand Paul say on his station.
On their own station, they provided a platform for a sitting senator to say exactly what I said.
By the way, I never said hoax.
So right there, that's legally slanderous.
This is not over by such a long shot.
And then they provide a platform for a sitting senator to say exactly what I just said on their own network.
Are they going to call him an extremist who peddles in conspiracy theories, even though it's CNN that peddles in conspiracy theories of WMDs?
Are they going to do that to him?
No, because he doesn't have a YouTube channel that competes with them.
Guess who does?
I do.
Guess who takes millions of viewers away from CNN?
My show does.
Every month.
You want to hear from a real reporter?
This is Robert Fisk.
Who's Robert Fisk, Jimmy?
Well, Robert Fisk is an English writer and a journalist.
He has been Middle East correspondent intermittently since 1976 for various media.
And since 1989, he has been correspondent for The Independent, primarily based in Beirut.
Fisk holds numerous British and international journalism awards.
I wonder how many awards are held by those people who wrote that article slandering me.
I'm going to guess zero.
I'm going to guess they're interns right out of college.
I don't know who they are.
I've never seen them or met them.
But I will see them.
And I will meet them.
That's happening.
Fisk holds numerous British and international journalism awards, including the Press Awards Foreign Reporter of the Year seven times.
Seven times Press Awards Foreign Reporter of the Year.
Robert Fisk.
Now, he went to Duma to check out the gas attack and the legitimacy of it.
And he's going to tell the truth about it right now.
Let's listen.
I've just been in the town of Duma.
I found the clinic where the film of the children are talking at the mouth and having water thrown at them.
He's found the clinic where the film of the children being doused with water and putting water in their mouth and all that.
He's found the clinic.
He's found the clinic.
He's made.
But the senior hospital doctor, who actually speaks very good English, who was there, told me that the video is real, that they were not suffering from gas poisoning.
So the video you see is real, but the people on the video not suffering from gas poisoning.
This is from seven-time award winner of the Press Awards Foreign Reporter of the Year Award.
who's actually there They're suffering from hypoxia, not gas attack, hypoxia.
Because of the amount of dust that were in the tunnels, which they live, they live because they're in a war zone.
They're underground.
And there's tunnels.
And so there was a big dust storm.
Dust was picked up.
It got in the tunnels.
And people were suffering from hypoxia.
Not a gas attack.
According to Robert Fisk, let me say it again.
Press Awards Foreign Reporter of the Year seven times.
And it produced a huge amount of dust and debris in the streets.
And many people will find it difficult to breathe.
And when they reached the clinic, according to the doctor, someone shouted gas and they panicked.
But he did confirm that the film, the video, was indeed placed in the clinic.
The thing couldn't do I actually interviewed him.
That's not me.
That's an actually award-winning journalist.
Who's there reporting that?
This is just from Wikipedia, and it was a classified weapons supply and training program run by the United States CIA and supported by various Arab intelligence services, most notably Saudi Arabia.
And it was launched in 2012 or 2013.
It supplied money, weaponry, and training to rebel forces fighting Syrian President Bashar al-Assad in the Syrian civil war.
According to U.S. officials, the program has trained thousands of rebels.
Rebels, meaning jihadists who want to institute Sharia law when they get rid of a secular government.
So here's a guy.
Here's Lord West, former first sea lord and chief of naval staff and UK chief of defense intelligence.
Here is a guy, former UK chief of defense intelligence.
You want to hear what he says about the gas attack?
Until I could set up a situation where I would wait until a Syrian helicopter was overhead dropping a barrel bomb and then set off some chlorine agent.
I know I could do that.
And that's what I would do if I was one of the Islamic terrorists because they know they're losing the money.
You don't have any evidence for that, do you?
We know that they've used chlorine in the past.
We know they've done that in the past.
And what is our evidence?
A lot of the evidence we've been shown, for example, information from the White Helmets, who do some good work rescuing people, but they didn't do anything to try and get women and children out of areas where they were being used as human seals in the past and leper and places.
And they're hardly neutral observers.
And similarly, the World Health Organization was using doctors who are working in terrible circumstances in that region.
Again, hardly neutral observers.
So the things I've seen don't it just rings alarm bells.
I hope that they have got this very clear evidence.
And if they have, our response, I think, was absolutely right.
But I am concerned.
And I think as we move forward, you know, I wouldn't be in the least surprised if there were another gas attack and someone would say, because it's in their interest to make us respond and get more and more involved.
Maybe Paul Murphy over at CNN, who is the guy, one of the guys who wrote that article that smeared me, maybe you want to call him an extremist and a guy who peddles conspiracy theories because you at CNN get it right.
How many guys do you have to discipline this year for getting stories wrong about Russia?
How many guys get disciplined for pushing of false WMDs?
None.
Maybe you want to smear this guy.
Maybe smear him.
He's not a jagoff YouTuber.
He doesn't have a YouTube channel.
So no money in it for you to smear him, huh?
Is that it?
Biggest conspiracy theory of my lifetime was pushed by CNN, which was Saddam has WMDs and we should attack him.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Ah, I know that ring.
It's the former leader of America, the free world, and its wholly owned subsidiaries.
Hello, President Obama.
Hello, little yelling man.
Before we begin, may I just review my important schedule for this year?
Sure, go ahead.
Next few weeks, I'll be appearing at the Army, Navy, Country Club, followed by another appearance at the Columbia Country Club at Chevy Chase, the Robert Trent Jones Golf Club in Kainesville, Virginia, and the Liberty National Golf Club in Jersey City.
Is this for charity?
I mean, to raise awareness for the homeless, or is it to raise money for down ballot progressive candidates or even register new voters?
Oh, and I just joined the Beverly Golf Club in Chicago.
But those are all country clubs.
Yeah, baby.
What happened to the guy who once said, I think when you spread the wealth around, it's good for everybody.
That guy tips really well in the clubhouse.
Hey, you know, there's a lot more to that phone call, but we don't have time in today's podcast.
How do you hear the entire phone call?
You got to become a premium member.
Go to JimmyDoorComedy.com, sign up.
It's the most affordable premium program in the business.
Today's show was written.
That's right.
It was written by Frank Connoff, Jim Earl, Ron Placone, Steph Samurano, and Mark Van Landuit.
All the voices today performed by the one and the only the inimitable Mike McRae, who can be found at mikemcrae.com.
That's it for this week.
Ah, you be the best you can be, and I'll keep being me.
Don't freak out!
I'm not kidding.
Don't freak out!
Don't freak out.
Do not, do not do not freak.
Do not freak.
Do not freak out.
Don't break out.
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