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April 7, 2017 - Jimmy Dore Show
59:47
20170407_PODCAST0407
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Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program.
The Jimmy Dore Show!
The Jimmy Dore Show!
It's the Jimmy Dore Show.
The show for Galaxies.
The kind of people that are comments maybe on Terry Downer Nation.
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper say...
It's hard to talk when you're key value.
And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore.
Hey guys, Ron Placone here for the Jimmy Door Show.
We got an action-packed show for you today.
We got some footage from our live show, the DNC Disney ride.
Don't you want to know what that's all about?
Well, we're going to tell you.
That footage is just going to be here.
Also, we got phone calls from Bill O'Reilly, Harrison Ford, George Clooney, and Rick Perry.
A lot of phone calls.
Jimmy was a really popular guy this week.
He was taking a lot of calls, mostly people checking in over the whole YouTube news.
Some of you guys may know about that already.
Basically, without getting too far into it, YouTube changed their relationship with their advertisers in a way that really does not benefit news and politics channels of which we are.
To learn more about that issue, if you'd like to learn more about it, you can go to our YouTube channel.
That's youtube.com/slash TYT Comedy, or you can visit our Patreon page, patreon.com slash Jimmy Dore, to learn more about the issue that we're dealing with.
But in the meantime, we got an action-packed show for you today.
You don't want to miss it.
I'm Ron Placone.
You are listening to The Jimmy Dore Show.
The Jimmy Dore Show.
Look at that.
We got Harrison Ford on the phone.
Hey, big sticky bud, the John Wayne Airport Tower thing.
Is that cell phone supposed to be underneath me?
Over.
Harrison, it's me.
It's Jimmy Door.
You must have sat on your cell phone.
Buddy, what's up?
Harrison here, the big F. How's it, bro, hanging, dude, brah?
Over.
Hey, congratulations.
I hear you were just cleared by the FAA for buzzing that 737 jet at John Wayne Airport.
I was.
Over.
Yes, you didn't know that?
I just read about it in the paper.
You flew over a passenger jet at John Wayne Airport and the FAA just cleared you.
Jesus, are you serious?
Why would they do that?
over.
*laughter*
Well, they apparently think you met all the requirements after they quizzed you with the radar data, videos, and commuter simulations on the incident.
So I won't get penalized for nearly killing 300 people with my 1914 SOP with Camel Model F1.
Over.
No.
Hey, you know what that 737 looked like when it was taxiing just below me?
Over.
No what?
The gigantic bong.
Over.
You know, you don't have to keep saying over, Harrison.
We're not speaking on a two-way radio.
Whatever.
Over.
So, no, they're not penalizing you.
They're loss.
Have you read Alec Baldwin's new book?
No.
Me neither.
But I heard he called me a short, scrawny, and wiry actor.
That's total bullshit.
You know what my vitals are, Jimmy?
No, what are they?
No, really.
You don't know?
No.
Fucking hell, I gotta look.
Wait, here's my 8x10.
Okay, it says I'm 6'1 inch tall.
Fuck Baldwin.
He's just 6 feet.
The Twerp.
He's just jealous because I got to play the captain and hunt for Red October.
Well, here's my ready repost.
Engage.
That was my catchphrase in Star Wars for Avenge of the Nerds, remember?
Engage.
I sit there in my swivel chair and say, engage.
As you're well aware, Harrison, I retain virtually no knowledge of pop culture, but I do know that's not your line, Engage.
Engage was Captain John Luke Picard's catchphrase from Star Trek, The Next Generation, played by Patrick Stewart.
Now, he's short, only 5'10.
But wasn't he great as Sajanis and I Claudius?
Nobody knew he was gay back then, but I did.
Does he know Chubac is gay?
I'm pretty certain Chewbacca isn't.
Otherwise, it would have come up by now.
You're just saying that because you're really stoned.
I'm stoned.
You're so stoned right now, you actually think I'm Harrison Ford.
Oh, of course you're Harrison Ford.
Who else could this be?
This is your mom, Jimmy.
We raised you on the southwest side of Chicago, and you're of Polish and Irish descent.
Have you eaten today?
Now tell your mother why she was cleared by the FAA.
Wow, this is really messing with my reality.
Don't you dare hang up on your mother.
You're not my mother.
Oh, that line again.
So now here's the new attack.
That's the one that's happened today.
So here's Media Lens tweeted out.
Front page of the BBC News.
This front page of the BBC News.
Government helicopters dropped chlorine on Aleppo, but could not be independently verified.
But could not be independently verified.
So this gentleman, Charles Shoebridge, says, Assad chlorine attack dominates West headlines conveniently just as his opponents meet West governments in London.
Here's from a Middle East newspaper.
It says, jumping to conclusions, something is not adding up in the Idlib chemical weapons attack.
At least 58 people were killed in a horrific gas attack.
However, even before invest, however, even before investigations could be conducted for evidence to emerge, Federica Moharini, the Italian politician, high represents politician, high representative of the European Union for foreign affairs and security policy.
This guy is a big shot in the European Union.
He is the high representative for European Union for Foreign Affairs and Security Policy.
He condemned the Syrian government, stating that the Assad regime bears responsibility for the awful Syria chemical attack.
Even before any evidence was in who came from, where did it, what?
Nothing.
Already knew.
Already going to go public.
Does that sound like propaganda?
The immediate accusation from a high-ranking EU official serves as a dangerous precedent where public outcry can be made even before the truth surrounding the tragedy can emerge.
And Trump did the same thing.
I mean, here in our neck of the woods.
We're going to talk about that.
Israeli President Benjamin Netanyahu joined in on the condemnation, as did Amnesty International.
Merely hours after the alleged chemical weapons attack in Khan Shikim, supposedly by the Syrian government, holes are beginning to emerge from the opposition sources, discrediting the Al-Qaeda affiliate White Helmet's claims.
By the way, it's the Al-Qaeda who did this.
That's who's, it looks like they did it before.
They're probably doing it again.
Doesn't make sense that Syria would do this.
And by the way, that's we're supposed to be trying to kill Al-Qaeda.
Except we're not.
Because we were training Al-Qaeda and ISIS.
to fight Assad.
Isn't that weird?
But then we're trying to kill them in Iraq, but we're training them in.
It doesn't matter as long as there's a war to fight.
Doesn't matter.
It says, for one, see in the above picture, the white helmets are handling the corpses of people without sufficient safety gear.
Most particularly with the masks mostly used, as well as no gloves.
Although this may seem insignificant, understanding the nature of sarin gas that the opposition's claim was used only opens questions.
So these are the white helmets.
And they're picking up these people who are supposed victims of sarin gas.
And that would be dangerous to do it like that.
You're supposed to have gloves on.
They don't have the sufficient safety gear.
Within seconds of exposure to sarin, the effects of the gas begin to target the muscle and nervous system.
There is an almost immediate release of the bowels and the bladder, and vomiting is induced.
When sarin is used in a concentrated area, it has the likelihood of killing thousands of people.
Yet, such a dangerous gas, and the white helmets are treating bodies with little concern to their exposed skin.
This has to raise questions.
It also raises the question of why a doctor in a hospital full of victims of sarin gas has the time to tweet and make video calls.
This will probably be dismissed as for and forgotten, however, and here it is.
So this guy shows, he says terrorist Mohammed Alusha is not a gas expert.
He's just one of the participants in this crime.
And this guy tweets out, hmm, patients are flooding in, yet this doctor seems the main source of gas attack has time to film, tweet, and video call.
So he says, this is the latest from sarin attacks.
Patients are still flooding in.
This child's been rushed without any family.
They're probably dead.
So this is the guy who's been giving everybody their information about what's going on.
He's talking about the gas attack and people flooding in.
And this guy makes the point.
Really?
In the middle of a gas attack, you got time to tweet.
You got time to take videos.
You got time.
Here he says, our hospital getting full from sarin attack today.
Anyone that wants evidence, I will video call you.
Really?
In the middle, in the middle of taking care of people with sarin attack?
Hmm.
Huh.
So it turns, and also I did a little research on that guy.
He's been disbarred by a long, long time ago.
He was, it was a secret hearing that he had.
But they he was charged with, it was semi-terrorism related, put it that way.
I'm gonna, we'll do another story about what happened to him in England.
It is known that about 250 people from Majdal and Khattab were kidnapped.
Get this.
So it is known that 250 people were kidnapped by al-Qaeda terrorists last week.
250 people were kidnapped by Al-Qaeda terrorists, the ones trying to overthrow Assad, trained and armed by the United States.
The Al-Qaeda, the people who attacked us, were arming them, we're training them.
Local sources have claimed that many of those dead from the chemical weapons were those from Majdal and Kitab, meaning they were the people that the Al-Qaeda kidnapped.
Here's another picture.
It says, also, what is brought into question is where the location of the house is coming from in the picture.
Like, where is this?
Where are they?
A dugout carved into the rock.
That's the house.
So it's.
So...
This also suggests that the location is at a white helmet's base where there are dugout hiding spots carved into the mountainside and where they have easy access to equipment and highlighted by Twitter user Ian Grant.
So you could see that those things are built right into the mountain, right?
These little also, the pickup trucks remain consistent to what local sources have said that many of those dead were kidnapped by al-Qaeda terrorists from pro-government towns in rural Hama.
So Al-Qaeda terrorists went into pro-government towns, kidnapped people.
And they say those trucks look like the same trucks the Al-Qaeda terrorists used.
And by the way, where's that hose coming?
Where are they?
And nobody has on gloves, nobody has on, nobody has on the safety gear they're supposed to have.
Therefore, it is completely unsold.
Therefore, this goes on a little bit later in the article.
It says, therefore, it is completely unsurprising that Orient TV has already prepared a, quote, media campaign to cover the Russia and Syrian airstrikes in Hamas countryside against terrorist forces with the allegations that the air forces have been using chemical weapons.
So they're already reporting it like that.
And most telling, their announcement of covering the use of chemical weapons by the Syrian government hours before the allegations even emerged.
What?
Seems like someone forgot to tell him that it would not occur for a few more hours before he tweeted this out.
And here's the tweet.
And it's translated underneath.
It says, Orient TV reporter, quote, tomorrow we are launching a media campaign to cover the airstrikes on Hama countryside, including the use of CW.
But I guess he tweeted that out a little too early.
Isn't that weird?
And this, of course, begs the question.
With the Syrian army and its allies in a comfortable position in Syria, making advances across the country and recovering lost points in rural Hama, why would they now resort to using chemical weapons?
Why would they?
The Syrian government is winning the war in Syria now.
They're taking back cities.
They're liberating it from terrorists like ISIS, al-Nusra, and Al-Qaeda.
So, why would they now do this?
This screams false flag.
Screams.
It's a very simple question with no clear answer.
It defies any logic that on the eve of the Syrian conference in Brussels and a week before peace negotiations are to resume, that the Syrian government would blatantly use chemical weapons.
Agreed.
Agreed.
It defies any logic.
Agreed.
Doesn't make sense.
That's not what you're going to hear on MSNBC tonight.
That's not what you're going to hear on CNN or ABC or the New York Times or CNN.
You're just going to hear about Trump's knee-jerk reaction and how he planned, you know, how he pointed a finger at Obama too.
They're going to bring it to United States-based bickering because that's the only, that's as deep as they go typically.
So this article concludes, all evidence suggests this is another false chemical attack allegation made against the government as seen in the Khan El-Assal 2013 attack, where the terrorist groups hoped that the former President Obama's red line would be crossed, leading to U.S. intervention in Syria against the government.
So that's what they're trying to do.
They're trying to get the United States to put boots on the ground and go into Syria and topple Assad.
And how do you do that?
You say Assad's gassing his own people.
Here's something else.
Here's a partisan girl tweeted out.
She got a blue check.
She says, why would the White Helmets receive sarin respirator suits only a month before the attack?
Syria doesn't even have sarin gas.
That's the thing everybody else remembers.
They got rid of all their sarin gas in 2013.
Here's one more smarty pants guy.
His name's Charles Shoebridge.
He's a former Army officer, Scotland Yard detective, and a counterterrorism intelligence officer.
He's a lawyer and a broadcaster and a writer.
He tweeted this out.
As Trump says, my attitude to Assad has changed.
It's now clear to all who, to all who the Syrian sarin attack beneficiaries are.
So he's making the point that now Trump is upset.
He wants to, his attitude on Assad has changed.
Before it was support Assad, go after the terrorists.
Now because of the gas attack, Trump has to come out and say, yeah, I'm against Assad.
And who do you think that benefits?
It benefits ISIS.
It benefits Qatar.
It benefits Saudi Arabia.
It benefits Israel.
All the people who want to overthrow Assad.
That's who this gas attack benefits.
Doesn't make sense that Assad would do this.
In fact, listen to what Trump said today.
When you kill innocent children, innocent babies, babies, little babies.
You mean like how you did in Yemen?
You mean like how we did in Iraq?
You mean like how we do in Syria?
You mean like how we do in Afghanistan?
What are you talking about?
We just got done bombing hospitals.
What are you talking?
Other people, that's the beauty.
Oh, they kill little, we don't kill babies.
We use good Christian bombs.
They dodge babies.
People were shocked to hear what gas it was.
That crosses many, many lines beyond a red line.
Many, many lines.
So everybody got their wish.
Trump looks like he wants to have a muscular response in Syria.
Happy?
This is what America wants?
A war in fucking Syria.
Want to go in there now.
You got it?
You happy?
Is everybody at the DNC happy?
Is Donna Brazil happy?
Is Rachel Maddow happy?
And Chris Hayes and Chris Matthews?
Are you happy now?
You got Trump?
He wants to go into Syria.
Are you happy?
This is what you wanted, right?
Maybe even a war with Russia.
That's what you want.
Because that's what that means.
That means we're going to war with Russia.
That's what that means.
Because wherever there's a Syrian military base, there are Russian soldiers.
And if we start fucking killing Russian soldiers, we're in World War III.
And you happy?
This is where this leads.
This is where this leads.
Here's a guy, former UK ambassador to Syria.
He says if jihadist wants to upset new Trump policy, they would mount a fake news attack like this.
Here he is.
Former British ambassador to Syria, Peter Ford.
Here he is, Peter Ford.
You want to hear what he says?
Dogs returning to their own vomit.
They made all these mistakes.
Iraq, Libya, they never learn, and they would like to reproduce the same scenario in Syria.
Fortunately, the Trump administration moved only last week, and this may be significant here, moved only last week to disown the Obama policy of trying to unseat the Syrian regime.
Trump's people said we're more interested in unseating ISIS.
That's our priority.
And you may think it's significant that this attack comes days after that.
Now, if the jihadis wanted to complicate Trump's task of making America's policy more sensible, they wouldn't have gone about it any other way than trying to mount a piece of fake news like this.
Thank you.
I'm going to guarantee you you're not going to hear that on the mainstream news.
So, did you hear what he said?
Trump just recently said, hey, we're not trying to topple Assad anymore.
A week later, there's a Syrian gas attack.
Trump says, we got to, oh my God, they crossed the red line.
You don't have to be a freaking genius to understand what's happening.
All you have to do is have your eyes open and look at history.
And not even that long ago, 2013.
Don't have to go back that far.
People are rooting for war.
You think I'm kidding?
Look at this tweet.
Susan Hennessy.
She got a blue check.
She says, I honestly don't care if Trump needs to bash Obama on this to score political points.
I only care that Trump actually does something now.
So you call him a Russian and you redbait Trump constantly.
And then you have a fake gas attack.
Now he's got, oh, we got him.
Now he's got to start a war.
That's all she cares about is if he starts a war.
That's what she's saying.
All I care about is if he starts a war.
What the fuck is wrong with you people?
This is the guy you all said was unhinged and unstable and now you want him to start a war?
I thought he was unstable and a maniac.
I thought he was unstable and a maniac.
So David Kleon says this is insane.
Here's an unstable person and you want him to start another war.
Yeah.
Yeah, they do.
The whole fucking mainstream media has lost their mind.
They've lost their mind.
And guess what?
This video is going to be demonetized by YouTube.
We're not getting paid to bring you this story.
And you're not going to get this story anywhere else.
And I knew they were going to demonetize this video before I even started it, but I'm doing it anyway.
So this is getting important now.
We're getting really close to a real war, even though we're in seven of them already.
This is getting close to World War III, and I want to keep covering this.
So if you'd like to see some more reporting on this, YouTube doesn't want to.
Their advertisers don't want to see our reporting on this.
The mainstream media, the Democratic Party, nobody wants to see our reporting on this.
That's why they're demonetizing it, and we won't get paid.
And our channel's taking a big hit, just like all the other news channels on YouTube.
So please use our Patreon link or become a premium member and help support independent news media.
We can't do it without you now.
We never could before either, but now for sure.
They just pulled the rug out from underneath us.
You know what's going on with YouTube.
I'll make another video about it.
But this story needs to get told and it needs to keep being told.
And you wonder why people get their news from YouTube.
YouTube.
Hey, this is Jimmy.
Hey, Jim.
How's it going?
It's George Clooney.
Hey, George, how are you?
Not bad, not bad.
How about yourself?
Hey, I'm doing great, George.
We've been doing a lot of live shows to packed houses.
Our YouTube channel's blowing up.
That sounds fantastic.
I, yours truly, George Clooney, the cloons, is about to be a father.
Whoa!
Really?
That's great news, George.
Yeah, thank you.
I'm very proud.
I think fatherhood is going to suit me well.
I'm a handsome man with a good jawline.
I think I'll photograph very well with a couple of babies.
A couple?
Twins, Jimmy.
Twins.
Can you believe it?
That's the medical term for when two come out at once.
Yeah, I know.
Yes.
George Clooney, father.
My greatest role.
Are you excited?
I mean, this is a big deal.
Having children is a huge life change, George.
I know.
I know.
I'm well aware.
There are going to be children near me sometimes.
Kind of blows the mind.
You got names picked out?
Names?
Oh, yeah, I think she's done that already.
I wanted to name them both Pikachu, but she wouldn't have it.
So why are you calling me?
Well, I wanted to see if you want to go hang out sometime.
Sure.
Having a pregnant wife is boring.
I got to get out of here.
Oh, really?
Yeah, they can't do anything.
They can't drink.
They can't have sushi.
No sushi?
Yeah, there's some disease in the fish that makes the babies turn into monsters or something.
I don't know.
Anyway, we got to go get some scotch and sushi like we used to.
We've actually never hung out before.
Oh, no.
No, I'd remember that, George.
Yeah, yeah.
I got to get out of the house.
My wife, Amal Amal Clooney, wife of George Clooney, right?
She, what's her name again?
Amal.
Right.
What's your face is being a moody bitch, and I gotta hit the bricks.
Maybe for a few days.
Can I stay at your place?
What's your guest house situation?
George, I don't have a guest house.
What are you, Romanian peasant?
What about this Trump guy?
He's bad, right?
Yeah, yeah, he's bad.
And that's Steve Bannon.
Also bad.
You talk about that on the show?
We focus on making the left more progressive.
Yeah, right.
Like gays and stuff.
We sort of assume acceptance of homosexuals is a given on the left at this point, George.
Right, right.
But can I still talk about it like I'm the first important person to accept gays?
Sure thing, George.
Man, Trump is bad.
Yes.
Well, I'm coming over.
My wife has gestational diabetes, and she needs to go to the hospital.
So I better get out of here before she gets mad that I'm not going to take her.
Please think into the Jimmy Door show.
We don't encourage anybody to shop at Amazon, right?
So this, but it's a great way for you to help the show.
If you're going to shop at Amazon anyway, we say have some of the money you're about to spend.
Go to a good progressive cause like the Jimmy Door show.
It really works that way.
How do you do it?
The next time you want to buy something on Amazon, before you go to Amazon.com, go to JimmyDoorComedy.com.
That's right.
And there's an Amazon box right on the front page on the right-hand side.
You click it, and then it takes you to Amazon.com.
You don't have to do anything else.
And then you just shop normally.
And then when you buy something, they send us money.
It's just that easy.
So it doesn't cost you any money.
It doesn't change the way you shop on Amazon, but it sure does help support the show.
So thanks to everybody who thinks of the Jimmy Door show before they buy at Amazon.com.
*music*
Hey, this is Jimmy.
Jimmy.
Yes?
What's the password?
The password for what?
I don't know.
Talking.
We need a password.
Yeah, man.
You got to say swordfish or I ain't saying shit.
Swordfish.
You got it.
That's it.
Wait, how did you know that?
You just told me, Rick.
God damn it, man.
I got to get better at this shit if I'm going to be a spy.
A spy?
Jimmy, I just got added to the National Security Council.
Oh, right.
Oh, it's great.
And some dude in the basement or the Pentagon just gave me all these cool James Bond spy gadgets.
I got a pocket-sized communicator.
A thing from a car that has a voice that gives me directions.
And a wristband that tells me what my heart rate is.
That way, if I get too stressed from spying, I know to pop a Xanax.
That's great that you have a new cell phone and garment, Secretary Perry, but I'm not sure you're actually a spy just because you're on the Security Council.
Well, maybe not in an official capacity, but there's no reason why I can't be doing some spying on the side.
Spying on Russia, spying on other people on the Security Council that are talking to Russia, spying on Ivanka's caboose.
It's going to be great, man.
Real cloak and dagger shit.
And I don't mean the 80s movie with Dabney Coleman.
May he rest in peace.
I'm pretty sure Dabney Coleman is still alive.
Oh, is he?
Well, I'll just have to do some spying and find out.
Why are you on the National Security Council now?
What qualifies you for this?
I don't know.
What qualifies any of us for any of this shit?
Who cares, man?
From where I'm standing, it just looks like I'm on a row.
Some would call it failing upwards, but hell, I got energy secretary.
Now this.
Who knows what's next?
Maybe president of a newly seceded Texas or ambassador, even better, ambassador from Texas to the U.S. So I could stay in Washington and keep all these other sweet ass gigs.
Is this going to conflict with your role as Energy Secretary?
No, Jimmy.
I see a synergy between energy and security.
In fact, I suspect the word synergy itself is a combination of the words security and energy.
I'm not sure.
I'll spy on that too later.
But you can't have energy without security, and you can't have security without energy.
This way, our energy will be more secure, and our security will be more energetic.
Yeah, I'm kind of a word guy.
Anyway, I can't wait to sit in on these meetings.
I got some real strong ideas.
Yeah, really like what, Rick?
Well, we got problems with North Korea, right?
Yes, we do.
They may soon develop the capacity to lob a ballistic missile with a nuclear warhead right onto California.
Right.
Well, my idea is to hack into their computer system and screw around with their compasses and gyroscopes and whatnot so that their calculations are off and the missile lands in either Canada or Mexico.
Pretty slick, huh?
Well, Rick, assuming we could hack into North Korea's military mainframe, why would we just prevent the missile launch altogether?
Oh, Jimmy, you're so naive.
We live in a dangerous world where bad things happen.
We can't prevent the actions of every unhinged dictator in the world.
I'm sorry, but the missile launch is a go.
What?
I don't understand that at all, Rick.
Well, you don't need to.
That's why you're not on the council, and I am.
Yeah.
Anyway, I'm going to go do some spying around the hallways of my office here.
Is that really a good idea?
Oh, don't worry, Jimmy.
I got the disguise going.
Big old black hat, sunglasses, black trench coat, magnifying glass.
A magnifying glass?
Yeah, for spying, man.
I think a magnifying glass is more for sleuthing.
Sleuthing, spying.
Same thing.
Either way, it's going to be like the man with one red shoe, that 80s movie with Dabney Coleman.
Who I can now confirm is still alive because of some spying that I did on Wikipedia while we were talking.
Okay, bye, Secretary Pitt.
Nobody does it better.
you you you You know, she came out and she did.
I don't want to play it because it depresses me.
Do you want to hear it?
Where everyday sexism and structural barriers were once blatant.
Today, they're sometimes harder to spot, but make no mistake, they're still with us.
Yeah, like, you know, not allowing independents to vote in the New York Primary.
Anyway, fuck that.
All right, that was bullshit.
Just look at all that's happened in the last two days to women who were simply doing their jobs.
April Ryan, a respected journalist with unrivaled integrity, was doing her job just this afternoon in the White House press room when she was patronized and cut off, trying to ask the question.
One of your own California congresswomen, Maxine Waters, was taunted with a racist joke about her hair.
Now, too many women, especially women of color, have had a lifetime of practice taking precisely these kinds of indignities in stride.
But why should we have to?
And any woman who thinks this couldn't be directed at her is living in a dream world.
I don't know if you're inspired as I feel right now.
I am, because with the black leather jacket and the weird red thing, I feel like it's a fucking super villain, you know, or somebody like Miss Goodbone.
You know, something creepy is going to go down.
Stephanie, what did you think about that?
Oh, well, first off, I'm sorry, Jimmy.
I was just thinking about April Ryan.
Well, I want to do my impression of April Ryan right now.
Okay, you're Sean Spicer.
I'm April Ryan.
Okay, well, listen, you have to listen to me, okay?
Whoa, quit shaking your head like that.
I swear to God, I'm going to put you in a corner.
Nobody talks to me like that.
I told you about your lift.
You better stop that right now or you're going to be out of your earbone.
Thank you.
Okay.
That was like I was watching a really good marionette show.
That was really fun.
You know, it's too bad that Hillary Clinton has no opinion or even awareness possibly of daffle that's going on.
Because if she did, she would know that there were two female journalists that might be facing unnecessary jail time for the covers they get there.
It's too bad.
But she's not aware of that.
Thank you.
Well, that information reveals Hillary to be a little shallow.
Right?
That's what I thought.
My whole point was, it sounds like exactly the same stuff she was saying before the election.
She hasn't changed one bit.
And it's like, I don't know why did you need to give that speech?
I don't understand.
You know, yeah, there are still problems with sexism in the world, but I don't know.
Maybe someone worth $150 million who's responsible for the deaths of hundreds of other thousands of other poor women shouldn't be fucking the person making that statement.
That's maybe that's how I feel.
I don't know how you feel.
But maybe if you gave a shit about women, you wouldn't overthrow a democratically elected government under the Middle East into a fucking fire, which is what happened.
You went into Iraq.
You went into Libya.
You wanted a more muscular response in Syria.
Warmongers don't get to play the feminism card, okay?
You're a fucking warmonger.
And that's, I don't know, I'm a guy, so I'm not, I'm not really supposed to comment on that, but I am coming at you, and it just drives me goddamn crazy.
And everybody's passed in the road.
Look what she said.
It sounded fucking hollow and stupid to me.
That's what it sounded.
It sounded empty.
It sounded like something someone else wrote for her, and now she's saying it.
And her and her fucking daughter are going to go back to their $80 million penhouse apartment and laugh about their fucking life.
That's what's going to happen, all right?
I don't need to hear from her anymore.
That's why I put that.
All right, Jimmy.
Are you saying that a woman on stage doing this was pre-planned when she sucked?
I'm moving like a human person.
And you know, Jimmy, you are right about the whole thing.
You know, Hillary Clinton drives me crazy.
And every time people, you know, wanted to have a conversation about Hillary and why I should vote for her, but I didn't.
And I just kept asking them.
Oh, you fucking woman hating Burn, bro.
I am.
Woman hating burn, bro.
Thanks for noticing.
I think we would have had a better chance influencing Hillary.
I swear to God, you screwed up.
If you men interrupt me one more fucking time.
That's so bad.
I'm going to talk over a woman.
So Hillary was right.
Yes, she was.
Calm down.
But my point is this: that what did she ever do for people of color in the United States ever?
Did she do shit for them?
No.
No, no, no, no.
She put a bunch of them in jail.
Yes, her husband helped.
And now they're not on it.
Now they're not on the streets.
Okay.
So she got them into a nice prison.
I always need white men to tell me how to pay.
Thank you, fellas.
Thank you.
Thank you.
And then she repealed the New Deal banking regulations, which tossed a lot of the college-educated blacks out of their own house.
In fact, they got hurt way worse during the economic downturn than the whites did.
So they played by the rules and they got hurt even worse.
I don't know.
I don't know what to tell you then.
All right, anyway, so let's move on.
Okay, sexism.
yeah okay I got you and No, it's about the DNC ride at Disney.
Sexism.
Deplorable.
We'll fight for you.
Lead with our values.
Opportunity.
Opportunity.
Everybody gets a fair chance.
Work hard.
Work good to people of color.
*laughter*
Fuck all.
All of the above on energy.
Fracking is the bridge to the new century.
Single payer will never come to pass.
This is fun.
We could be doing this.
Sometimes we need war.
Who needs water?
Privacy is overrated.
Let's just do this for the rest of the show.
Tom Perez is dreaming.
It's a world of banking, a world of war.
It's a world of eyes.
You can't go to a gunfight with a spoon.
Come on, keep going.
You guys have any?
Anybody out there have any?
Transparency.
Oh, it's a crisis of transparency.
This is, oh, I'm going to, this is going to be a short film.
This ride might be connected to Russia.
*laughter*
Hi, everybody.
Welcome to the Jimmy Door Show.
Ron Placon is here.
Hi, Ron.
Hey, Jimmy.
So, guess what?
Bill O'Reilly's at a little bit of a hot trouble.
Bill O'Reilly.
Did you know Bill O'Reilly opposes gay marriage?
Because he believes domestic abuse is something that should occur only between a man and a woman.
Bill O'Reilly said hot cheese-it he refuses to let sexual harassment scandal distract him.
He is not going to let this sexual harassment scandal distract him from lying on a whole host of other things.
Bill O's career used to be safe when he was just known for sexually harassing one employee and physically abusing his wife.
But now he's in trouble.
Things are happening.
Did you hear these losing advertisers, right?
All these advertisers.
In fact, the Bill O'Reilly show has decided to pull its advertising from the Bill O'Reilly show.
That's how bad this shit has gotten.
So there's the New York Times-y.
It says Bill O'Reilly thrives at Fox, even as harassment settlements add up.
There's a about $13 million has been paid out over the years to address complaints from women.
$13 freaking million dollars.
Woo!
Woo!
That's some sexual harassing.
That guy, woo.
I don't understand sexual harassment.
If you have that much money and you're willing to pay the women off afterwards, why wouldn't you just pay someone up front and just get a prostitute?
Yeah, it seems like that would make the most sense.
You would have more dignity.
Because listen to this story.
I mean, so the guys have all the money in the world.
Listen to this story.
This is why this will make sense.
And by the way, I do not look down my nose at prostitutes.
I'm not recommending it as a life choice, but I don't think they're less than as people.
No, but if you can afford it, why not just do that instead of being like a...
If you're going to be a creepy sexual harasser, it's like...
And he can afford to become high-end, you know, like, so, yeah, I don't get it, Bill.
An investigation by the New York Times has found a total of five women who have received payouts from either Mr. O'Reilly or the company in exchange for agreeing not to pursue litigation or speak about their accusations against him.
The agreement was $13 million freaking dollars.
Two settlements came after.
Get this.
This is the thing that makes it interesting, sir, more interesting.
Two settlements came after the network's former chairman, Roger Ailes, was dismissed last summer in the wake of a, so there's two more that came after Roger Ailes, and they've been keeping it under Rhapsie, paying people off.
The company said it did not tolerate behavior that, quote, disrespects women or contributes to that.
Their whole show disrespects women.
Their whole network is anti-women, anti-everything.
Come on.
I mean, they do have pretty women.
They have some of the most attractive women in the world.
They'd like to put them on and have them deliver the news.
That happens everywhere now.
Everyone's getting into the good-looking women.
is MSNBC doing that yet?
Have they been going after the good?
The women who made allegations against Mr. O'Reilly either worked for him or appeared on his show.
They have complained about a wide range of behavior.
I bet they have.
I bet he's got a wide range of disgusting behavior.
They have complained, including verbal abuse, lewd comments, unwanted advances, and phone calls in which it sounded as if Mr. O'Reilly was masturbating.
Wow.
Now, the verbal abuse is bullshit.
He got in trouble once before.
The first thing he got in trouble for was for bitching out a female producer in the newsroom in front of other people.
Now, while that might be uncouth and horrible and, you know, rude, I don't think it rises to the level of harassment.
I mean, you're allowed to, you know, I mean, Mike Dicka would be in prison if that was a standard.
I mean, every football coach, every basketball, I mean, so I get it.
You know, if you don't want to work in an environment where you have a hothead as a boss, I don't know if that's an actionable, you need to get the courts involved.
Right.
That my boss is a hothead.
That's one thing.
But if it's a sexual harasser, that's another thing.
Right, absolutely.
Okay.
The reporting suggests a pattern.
There's a pattern.
As an influential figure of the newsroom, Mr. O'Reilly would create a bond with some women by offering advice and promising to help them professionally.
Oh, he's grooming them.
Sounds like a groomer.
Yeah.
He then would pursue sexual relationships with them, causing some to fear that if they rebuffed him, their careers would stall.
You know they would.
That's just so weird.
It's like, can't you just get a regular person outside of your work?
Can't you use your money and your celebrity to get a maybe go get a fan?
You got to bang someone in your office?
You got to intimidate someone in your office.
You have to dangle a carrot in front of a woman in your office so you could get laid.
You can't just get laid on your charming personality.
You have to use your freak their job over them.
That's worse than going to a prostitute.
Way worse.
Isn't it?
Yeah, I think so.
And yeah, why would you.
Why wouldn't you just go get a regular person?
Why do you got to why do you got to, what's that saying?
Don't shit where you eat.
Don't shit where you eat.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right?
What is that?
It's from a movie.
Is it from Moonstruck?
I don't know.
I don't know.
But anyway, of the five settlements, two were previously known.
One for about $9 million in 2000.
Oh, we knew about this one.
I knew about this one.
$9 million in 2004 with a producer, and another struck last year with a former on-air personality, which the Times reported on in January.
The Times has learned new details related to both those cases.
For instance, Andrea Makris, that was the woman from 2004.
She was then 31, filed a sexual harassment lawsuit against Bill O'Reilly.
the suit.
She said he told her to buy a vibrator.
Called her at times when it sounded as if he was masturbating.
Can you imagine doing that?
Calling a woman you're not already in a relationship with and masturbating on the freaking phone.
Andrea, this is today's word, vibrator.
You should buy one because I'm masturbating.
Because I masturbate.
Like, what have you.
Ugh.
Bill O'Reilly, too.
Ugh.
Ugh.
He described sexual fantasies involving her.
Mrs. Makris had recorded some of the conversations.
Oh, that's why she got $9 million because she was smart enough to record one of those conversations.
So it wasn't a he said, she said.
little did Bill O'Reilly know that was Mike McCree doing the voice uh Miss Ms. Makris also said in the suit that Mr. O'Reilly, who was married at the time, he and his wife divorced in 2011 like a good Catholic, threatened her, threatened her, saying he would make any woman who complained about his behavior, quote, pay so dearly that she'll wish she'd never been born.
End quote.
And that sounds exactly like the kind of threats that he throws around left and right all the time.
That sounds exactly like what he says.
Fox News and Mr. O'Reilly adopted an aggressive, but she had the recording.
That was the beauty.
She had the recording.
So that's why all the threats in the world, Bill.
Fox News and Mr. O'Reilly adopted it.
This is according to the New York Times.
They adopted an aggressive strategy that served as a stark warning.
You mean aggressive strategy?
I mean, we're going to smear you, and we're going to ruin your career if you tell anybody that we're creeps and that we're Cretans.
So they aggressive strategy that served as a stark warning of what could happen to women if they came forward with complaints.
Current and former employees told the Times, that's what they said.
Before Mrs. Makris ever filed suit, Fox News and Mr. O'Reilly surprised her with a preemptive suit of their own in true douchebag style.
Oh, yeah, no kidding.
Asserting she was seeking to extort $60 million in return for not going public with scandalous and scurrilous claims about him.
This is the single most evil thing I have ever experienced, and I have seen a lot, he said on his show the day before both suits were filed.
But these people picked the wrong guy.
Turns out they didn't.
Turns out they knew exactly who you were, and that's Bill Bloviating and bluffing and all his, oh, they picked a wrong.
I will make your life a living.
I will come at you with everything I got.
These are the things he says.
A public relations firm was hired to help shape the narrative in Mr. O'Reilly's favor.
And the private investigator, Bo Didle, was retained to dig up information on Mrs. Mac.
Oh, my God.
God.
Talk about a Cretan scum.
Like, just take your lumps.
Take your lumps.
You sexually harassed her.
Take your lumps.
No, now I'm going to smear her.
Megalomaniac.
And what kind of public relations firm?
I mean, Fox News is basically one big public relations firm as it is.
As it is, anyway.
And they got a public relations firm for their guy.
You got to go outside the house to get that.
Right?
The goal was to depict her.
This is the goal of Fox News and Bill O'Reilly, was to depict her as a promiscuous woman, deeply in debt, who was trying to shake down Mr. O'Reilly, according to people briefed on the strategy.
Several unflattering stories about her actually appeared in the tabloids.
So there was a buyer somewhere.
Oh, some, well, you don't think Fox News could pull some strings on people that they owed favors to or whatever?
We could do something.
Yeah, especially with outlets having the same journalistic integrity as them.
Like tabloids.
After two weeks of sensational headlines, the two sides settled, and Mr. O'Reilly agreed to pay Miss Makris about $9 million.
The parties agreed To issue a public statement that had, quote, no wrongdoing whatsoever had occurred.
Mrs. Walsh, the former guest on the O'Reilly factor, told the Times that she was propositioned by Mr. O'Reilly in 2013, but did not lodge a complaint because she did not want to harm her career prospects.
This is another woman.
It's a different woman.
Ms. Wall said that she met Mr. O'Reilly for dinner, arranged by his secretary at the restaurant at the Hotel Bel Air in Los Angeles.
Nice hotel.
During the dinner, she said he told her he was friends with Mr. Ailes and promised to make her a network contributor, a job that can pay several hundred thousand dollars a year.
That's pretty nice.
That's pretty sweet money.
After dinner, she said Mr. O'Reilly invited her to his hotel suite.
Miss Walsh said she declined.
Trying to remain cordial, she suggested they go to the hotel bar instead.
What happened then?
Once there, she said he became hostile, telling her that she could forget any career advice he had given her and that she was on her own.
He also told her that her black leather purse was ugly.
Can't you get laid on your own?
Do you have to dangle your position at work over someone to get laid?
You're in freaking Hollywood.
You can't fight.
You can't get laid by a person who's just an admirer.
I mean, what the F?
You can't just go get an equal and use your charm on someone to get laid.
You have to literally, you have to intimidate women into having sex with you.
That is about as low as it gets.
That's one notch above rape.
That's pretty sad.
That's pretty, that's about as sad as it gets without being rape, right?
Yeah.
A blow-up doll.
Not as sad.
Honest to God, I'm not kidding about that.
A blow-up doll or one of those fleshlights.
That's just a guy taking care of himself.
You're not hurting anyone else in the process to get your nuts off.
This guy is so desperate that he has to use his power position at work.
You will get a job.
Now, fuck me.
Oh, yeah.
How could you have sex with someone who doesn't want to even have sex with you in the first place?
It's just so the opposite of what you would think you'd want to do in your life.
Well, if he stuck with his fan base, it'd be hard for him to find a woman.
They're all the eighters.
Yeah, they're all like 70 plus.
So he probably is like, well.
Well, that's what I'm saying.
It's like, but still, go try to get a 50-year-old woman or a 40-year-old.
Go try to get someone half your age and use your charm on her.
Or use your, maybe find someone who actually does want to F you for your money.
Yeah.
There's lots of freaking freaking freaking out.
There's got to be some of that.
There's lots of them out there.
There's a lot of women who would have sex with Bill O'Reilly for money.
A lot of them.
Yeah.
And for some, it would just, like, I'm sure there's some people it would just be a status thing.
Like, even though it's like, he's Bill O'Reilly.
He's a known like racist, misogynist creep.
But they're like, well, but he's famous.
He's famous.
So why not?
I mean, people do that all the time.
All the time.
In the case of O'Reilly, the woman, all of whom either, this is from CNN, all of whom who either worked for him or appeared on this show told the same story that O'Reilly would offer advice and promise to help them professionally, then pursue relationships with them.
So what a loser.
In some cases, out of fear, they did not rebuff.
So here's Bill O'Reilly.
Here's what he had to say after Megan Kelly said that he sexually harassed her.
Oh, look, caller ID says it's drunk Bill O'Reilly on the phone.
Hello.
Jimmy Door.
The following is a mega thread about mega threads.
Megathre are preceded by an announcement that a mega thread is about to begin.
Following is a mega thread explaining an unpacking massive left-wing conspiracy guest.
Hi, Bill.
Well, that's all the time we have.
I bet you want to hear the rest of that phone call, don't you, though?
Well, yeah, you can if you subscribe to our premium.
Subscribe to the premium over on JimmyDoorComedy.com.
It's just $5 a month, and you have access to all the premium audio content.
Soon we'll be offering audio and video premium content for $10 a month once the new Jimmy DoorComedy.com site gets launched, which will be happening very soon.
And guys, we have a Patreon now, patreon.com slash Jimmy Dore.
As you guys know, YouTube has made some changes recently in the way their advertising works, and it has negatively impacted news and politics channels like ours.
So we have a Patreon now.
There's all kinds of rewards there, signed CDs, signed t-shirts, newsletters, Google Hangout sessions with Jimmy himself, free passes to Jimmy Dore live shows, all kinds of fun stuff.
Patreon.com/slash Jimmy Dore.
Today's show was written.
That's right.
It was written by Jim Earle, Steph Samarano, Robert Yesemara, Jimmy Dore, and myself, Ron Placone, also Graham Elwood.
All voices were done by the legendary Mike McRae, who can be found on the web at MikeMcRae.com.
Well, that does it for this week's show.
I'm Ron Placone for the Jimmy Dore show, saying you keep being the best you can be, and Jimmy will keep being him.
It sounds weird when I do it, huh?
That's, uh, all right, I got to think of my own sign-off for next time.
Do not free go.
I'm not giving.
I'm not giving.
Do not free go.
I'm not.
Do not free go.
I'm not.
Do not free go.
Free go.
Free go.
Do not freak out!
I'm not doing not freak out!
I'm not freak out!
Do not freak out!
Do not freak out!
Do not, do not, do not, do not, do not do nothing.
I'm not kidding.
I'm not kidding.
Do not freak out.
Do not freak out.
I'm not freak out.
I'm not Do not freak out.
I'm not kidding.
Don't get the fuck up.
Don't bring out.
Do not freak.
Do not freak out.
Don't bring out.
Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, fuck up, don't freak out.
Don't freak out.
I'm not kidding.
Don't, don't, don't, don't, bring out.
Don't you go.
Don't don't do not room for you.
Do not freak.
Don't freak out.
Do not, do not.
Do not freak out.
Do not freak out.
I'm not kidding.
Not freak out.
You are now, now, rockin'with D-D-D-D-D-D-D-Arkiv.
Don't freak out!
Do not freak out.
I'm not kidding.
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