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March 31, 2017 - Jimmy Dore Show
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Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program.
The Jimmy Dore Show!
It's the Jimmy Dore Show.
The show for...
The kind of people that are...
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper save popular TV value.
And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore!
Hey, welcome to this week's Jimmy Door show.
Got a great one for you.
I know I say that a lot because it's always true.
Hey, we're going to see also this Monday, April 3rd.
That show's show sold out next show, April 24th.
That's our next live show.
I'm loving the live shows.
We're going to be doing them twice a month now for the foreseeable future.
We just booked out in Los Angeles through December.
And we're going to put together a tour of some sort soon.
So the Jimmy Door show might be coming to your town.
Anyway, what's coming up on today's show?
Look, it's Tulsi Gabbard's pot legislation.
She's going to make it legal.
Keith Ellison tells progressives to buck up.
Guess what?
FDR has an important message.
He had an important message for today that he wrote in 1940.
It just could change things.
Hey, Rick Perry calls in along with George Clooney and Chris Christie and Rick Perry again.
Plus a lot lot more is coming up.
That's today on the Jimmy Dore show.
Hello.
Yo, Jimmy Door.
I think you know who this is.
Chris Christie, nice of you to call, but we just heard from you last week, buddy.
You might want to watch your tone, you dumb gamboni.
I got some important news, so congratulations, sir in Lord.
The Donald just elected me to head some panel of drug addiction and some shit like that.
I'm a made man.
Yeah, right.
I heard you and Jared Kushner are now in charge of a new drug commission devoted to the opioid abuse problem.
What do you two know about drug abuse?
He's rich, and I'm facing jail, so there you go.
I know all about the opioids, you genellic gravalazzo.
You and all the other daisies in California should know I pop them like tick tax.
I fucking get a headache and I need five oxycontins, one for each limb.
And that's just in the morning.
But you only have four limbs.
I have phantom cold syndrome.
Don't ask.
So what exactly are your duties on this panel?
What do you think?
I'm in charge of opioids.
And I'm coming after all you hopheads.
We all know that wacky tobacco of yours is a gateway drug to the nose candy.
And you can mail that to yourself and all the other jiggle-brained daisies in Bayesadina.
But what's the ultimate goal of this panel, Governor?
Our ultimate goal is to collect all the opioids in this country and store them safely in my basement until I decide further on it.
Cabrende?
Then I'm going to get my pea shooter and burn some powder in your ugly mush.
But did you prosecute Jared Kushner's father and put him in jail for 12 years ago?
Well, I don't know nothing about that thing, Day.
But if perchance I did, I'd have to refer you to Bridget Kelly and Bill Baroni.
Oh, whoops.
They're about to spend three years in Islam.
Guess we'll never see them again, right?
Abando Manorolo Chicolini.
Okay, let's move on to the Russian investigation.
Do you think Congressman Nunez or Nunes should recuse himself?
Look, that's a very personal decision a man makes between himself and his confessor.
But if I were him, I'd keep my fucking mouth shut.
You know what I mean?
So you have no problem with the congressman going to the White House first with Intel before releasing it to the committee?
Well, that wouldn't have been the way I would have done things.
I could tell you that right now, Dende.
Follow me.
Well, what would you have done?
I would have had my associate, Angelo Gonzaga-Bagilini, Abodado III of the law firm Gonzaga, Gonzaga, Gonzaga, and Gonzaga take care of things.
And what would he have done?
Probably filed a motion or something.
I don't know.
I ain't no lawyer.
But you are a lawyer.
Good point.
Next question, you son of a bitch.
I haven't got any more questions.
You're the one who called me, Chris.
You sure you ain't curious about something else, Jimmy?
That's not like you.
You're always asking questions, snooping around and sticking your sniff in places that don't belong.
Sooner than later, maybe some friends will be coming around for a little visit.
And you better be nice and friendly to them, Capish, because they're going to confiscate all of your hophead paraphernalia and such, including that bong in the shape of the elephant man.
And then, one day, the trader Joe's parking lot, when you least inspect it, I'm going to get my pea shooter and burn some powder and yogly mush.
Okay, thanks, Chris.
No problem.
Give my best to the missus.
The Missus.
Tulsi Gabbard, I don't know if you know Tulsi Gabbard is, but she was the one, she was a part of the DNC.
And she dropped out of the DNC, Democratic National Committee, so she could go support Bernie Sanders because she recognized the need and that we had a moment and we had to take it because countries falling apart.
And she did it, and she was immediately ostracized by the Democrats, meaning Debbie Wasserman Schultz and Donna Brazils and the Hillary Clintons and the whole thing.
She's a pariah because she did the right thing.
Because she decided to back a progressive.
Now, here she is talking about marijuana.
She talks about this.
She talks about things in a way that I like to hear politicians talk about them in an honest and straightforward way.
So here she is.
This is what she did.
Today, to urge my colleagues to support H.R. 1227, the ending federal marijuana prohibition act, which I've introduced as my Republican colleague, a fellow Army veteran and former prosecutor from the state of Virginia, Congressman Tom Garrett, where we are seeking to address our outdated and widely problematic marijuana laws by federally decriminalizing marijuana.
FBI reports have shown that in 2011 alone, an individual in the United States was arrested for marijuana use, sale, or possession every 42 seconds.
Is that a lot?
Somebody in the United States is arrested for marijuana every 42 seconds.
Freest country in the world.
And they're doing it.
They're doing it at the behest of alcohol companies.
And they're doing it at the behest of Vicoden, people who make OxyContin and all that stuff.
They don't want marijuana legal because it's cheaper.
You can grow it yourself.
And they don't want the competition.
Ron, you wanted to say?
Well, I was just going to add it's also at behest of the prison industrial complex.
Of course.
You know, that statistic, unfortunately, to some very corrupt people, is good news.
It's good.
Oh, they're like, fantastic.
Let's get it down to 40 seconds.
Let's have a nice round number.
Every 42 seconds, mostly in poor and minority communities.
Our current.
Oh, really?
You mean that they're not doing that in Beverly Hills?
They're not going to Beverly Hills and bust people for pot every 42 seconds?
Where do you think that's happening?
In Baltimore?
You think that's happening?
You think that's happening in South Central?
You think that's happening in Compton and Watts?
You think that's happening?
Where do you think that's happening?
In Chicago, you think that's happening on the Miracle Mile?
Or do you think that's happening in Humboldt Park?
Okay.
Laws are turning everyday Americans into criminals, sending them to jail, ruining their lives, tearing apart families, and wasting huge amounts of taxpayer dollars to arrest, prosecute, and incarcerate people for marijuana use.
Now, if we were really serious in this country about locking people up for illegal drug use, you would go to Wall Street and you would frisk those guys as they came to work, and I would say six to seven out of ten of them would be in jail that day.
They're all cokeheads.
And if they're not, you know, they're smoking pot and they're doing meth.
They're doing all kinds of, those guys are nuts.
Wall Street bankers.
Those guys are nuts.
They're not good people.
And they're mostly drug addicts who spend their lunch hours at strip clubs.
And they've turned investment banking into casino hopping.
And then when their investments go belly up, they get the government to bail them out and they kick you out of your house.
And Barack Obama and Timothy Geithner go, that's a good plan.
I wonder why Trump won.
A drug that has been proven time and time again to be far less dangerous than alcohol, both for individual consumers as well as for the people around them.
Dr. Donald Abrams, who's the chief of oncology at San Francisco General Hospital.
Sounds like a hippie.
Some hippie doctor.
She's going to quote now.
Who was he?
The chief oncologist?
I bet he has a purity test, too.
Why doesn't he want to lock up poor people for doing a drug that's innocuous?
That's how things work in America.
Has talked about how in the 37 years that he has worked and served as a physician, the number of patients that he's admitted to his hospital with marijuana complications are zero.
The number of patients that he's admitted due to alcohol use is, quote, profound.
So rather than actually helping people, our current laws are turning them into criminals, forever impacting their future and the future of their families.
Over the years, we've spent hundreds of billions of dollars locking people up for nonviolent marijuana offenses, creating strain within our criminal justice system, clogging court calendars, and resulting in further overcrowding our prisons.
Now, just a few weeks ago, I had the chance to go and visit a number of our prisons and jails in Hawaii where I saw firsthand the crumbling infrastructure, the extreme overcrowding, and facilities in dire need of upgrades, as well as the shortage of services that are actually needed to help rehabilitate people and reduce our recidivism rates.
So whether you personally think that marijuana use is good or bad, whether you would choose to use marijuana or not, the question is, should we really be sending people to jail and turning them into criminals for it?
The answer is no.
But the Democratic nominee last time said yes, and so did the Democratic president.
Not only that, the Democratic president said this is as bad as heroin, and it's staying that way.
So there you go.
There's more to her speech, but I think you get it.
This is the definition of insanity.
The fact that we try to pretend we're a country that values liberty and freedom and we lock up poor people for no reason whatsoever.
That again, we're not locking up, they're not locking up pot smokers on the Upper East Side.
They're not locking up people on Wall Street.
They're not locking up people in Beverly Hills or Redondo Beat.
You know where they're locking up people with pot.
you know exactly where they're locking them up.
And that's a good way to...
And then, you know, of course, the Clintons helped with the prison bill.
So now you can watch...
Private prisons.
So anyway.
I think that's just job.
You know, those are the job programs that they've decided in corporate America that we need.
We need more prisons.
We need more prison guards.
We need horrible environment for anybody.
It just makes me think, Jimmy, we have drug searches on our campus that are unannounced and random, and a dog will walk through the classroom.
They'll have all the kids stand outside.
And then if something goes amiss, they're going to take that kid out from the classroom and escort them and then prosecute.
That's crazy.
What a great learning environment.
What a great learning environment.
Oh, the cops are here.
Shit.
Well, I mean, it is preparing you for college.
Come on.
Come on.
We're such a better culture, though.
We're a great culture.
Our culture is great.
We have a fat attack.
Those fucking asswipe atheists who can't fucking break their arm hard enough, patting themselves on the back for what a great culture we have.
Hey, I'm an atheist, too.
I just don't.
I see the flaws in our club.
I'm mature enough to see the flaws in our culture and see how fucked up we are.
And your first responsibility is trying to fix shit you can fix, which is our culture.
I bet that will be reported the same way on CNN as we reported it here.
I'm sure it'll be reported the same way on David Muir's ABC News.
Or who hosts NBC now?
Oh, it's Lester Holt.
I'm Lester Holt.
Hi.
Thank God Brian Williams revealed himself to be a bag full of shit, and I get to host the NBC deuce.
Anyway, there you go.
Tulsi Gabbard, she's the real deal.
It'll never happen, though, right?
Because we have a corrupt government.
And everyone says if you want to do something good, you can't do it because you're a fairy duster.
Why?
Because we have a corrupt government.
That's what she's revealing.
Music.
you you Hi, everybody.
I'm here with the Miserable Liberal and Ron Placone.
And I want to talk about this gentleman.
That's F. D. Arski.
And this was written, by the way, by Michael Moore wrote this about FDR.
He said, when President Franklin D. Roosevelt made plans to run for a third term in 1940, that's this guy, most popular president in the history of our country.
He brought us Social Security, the New Deal, put money in the pockets of workers, saved capitalism.
Pine the sky guy.
Pine the sky.
And they elected him president until he died.
That's what happens when you legislate with the people in mind instead of the donor class in mind.
So when he was deciding to run for a third term, he wanted to drop his vice president, which is a guy named John Nance Garner, because his vice president was too conservative and was working against him.
Well, here's what it says here: it says, both because Garner disapproved of Roosevelt running again, his vice president disapproved of FDR running again, and Garner's opposition to much of the New Deal.
So instead, Roosevelt chose Secretary of Agriculture Henry Wallace as his vice president.
That's who he wanted.
So I guess things were different back then.
Like you had to get voted on by the delegates, right?
You couldn't just pick your vice president.
They had to like okay it.
That's what it seems like to me back then, Ski, because look what happened.
However, many of Garner's fellow conservative Democrats, including the party's reactionary wing based in the South, despised Henry Wallace for his liberalism and attempted to block his nomination at the convention before Roosevelt's arrival.
The book American Dreamer, A Life of Henry A. Wallace, describes what happened next.
Do you want to know what happened next?
FDR sent a freaking letter to the convention.
This was the letter that he had written.
You want to hear it?
And it could be written today and should be written today, which is why I'm going to read it today on the show because everybody, the electorate and the elected Democrats, need to hear this.
Here it is.
Franklin D. Roosevelt letter to the Democratic Convention, July 18th, 1948.
Members of the convention.
In the century in which we live, the Democratic Party has received the support of the electorate only when the party, with absolute clarity, has been the champion of progressive and liberal policies and principles of government.
When we lead with our values and opportunity.
Oh, that's not in the letter.
No, he says when we lead with our values and we are the party of good jobs and everyone gets a fair shot if they're willing to work hard.
That's not what he said.
That's not what FDR said.
Did FDR say anything about a purity test?
Oh, FDR doing his goddamn purity test.
That's the FDR doing his goddamn purity test.
So he says the Democratic Party only receives support when it's been the champion of progressive and liberal policies and principles in government, not privileges.
The party has failed.
This is FDR.
The party has failed consistently when through political trading and chicanery, it has fallen into the control of those interests, personal and financial, which think in terms of dollars instead of in terms of human values.
Holy crap, Ski.
This guy sounds like Bernie Sanders sounds.
This is exactly what Bernie Sanders had been saying.
He said it right to Debbie Washerman Schultz's face at that speech.
We played it in the other video where he said, if the Democrats do not stimulate a high voter turnout and get people enthused, they will lose.
That's exactly what happened.
And how do you get there?
You offer them something that they deserve: health care, education, a fair tax structure, and a job that can get them in the middle class.
If you can't do that, what is the point of having a country?
What's the point of having a country if our country can't guarantee health care, education, and a job?
That's my dog squeaking.
He's a squeaky.
So he's saying it right there.
And here's the Democrats are doing it right now.
What he's saying, the party has failed consistently when through political trading and chicanery, which is exactly where the Democrats are.
That's the near-atandins he's talking to, the Robbie Mooks, the Debbie Washerman-Schultz's, the Donna Brazils, the John Podestas, the Clintonian, the whole DNC, Tom Carretz, Howard Deans, the whole thing.
The MSNBCs.
What a garbage dumpster fire that MSNBC is.
The Republican Party has made its nominations this year at the dictation of those who, we all know, always place money ahead of human progress.
So nothing's changed.
The Democratic Convention, as appears clear from the events of today, is divided on this fundamental issue.
So the party was divided back then, even when it had a strong leader like FDR.
Until the Democratic Party, through this convention, makes overwhelmingly clear it stands in favor of social progress and liberalism and shakes off all the shackles of control fastened upon it by forces of conservatism, reaction, and appeasement, it will not continue its march of victory.
Run, is this not blowing your mind a little?
Yeah, I mean, it's like he laid out a ground map that could have assured victory for a really, really long time, and they sort of lost their way at some point.
It's exactly exactly the same thing that's happening right now.
Oh, isn't it?
And isn't it something?
It was right after a huge economic crash brought on by the stupid donor class.
So here he is again trying to say, hey, we have to be progressive policies.
Actually, work for everyone.
There's enough to go around in the richest country in the world.
There's enough to go around.
Rich people get to be super rich and workers get to have a comfortable living.
That's what he's saying.
And he's saying, if you don't want to advocate for that, you're going to lose.
I like the overwhelmingly clear part.
Overwhelmingly clear.
That's really important.
The Democrats have to make it overwhelmingly clear.
You know why they have to do that?
Because if they don't, they become victim to a demagogue, a charismatic demigod like Donatanah.
That's exactly what happened.
Because it wasn't overwhelmingly clear.
In Fact, it was clear the opposite.
As they were trying to get working people to vote for them, Barack Obama was full-throated, top of his lungs, trying to pass another job-crushing trade deal.
Why?
Because it would benefit the fucking corporations and the donor class.
That's why that TPP didn't do jack shit for anybody except rich people, corporations, and patent holders.
In fact, it took all the power away from the regular people.
It actually seems that when Donald Trump says make America great again, he's referencing FDR's policies.
Yes, that does seem like that's what he's talking about because this is FDR did save capitalism.
It is without question that certain political influences pledged to reaction in domestic affairs and to appeasement in foreign affairs have been busily engaged behind the scenes in the promotion of discord since this convention convened.
Under these circumstances, I cannot, in all honor and will not, merely for political expediency, go along with the cheap bargaining and political maneuvering which have brought about party dissension in this convention.
Gets better.
Hold on.
He's getting ready.
He's throwing it down.
He's putting a mark in the sand.
A line in the sand?
Line in the sand.
Line in the sand.
It is best not to straddle ideals.
Oh, God, I love this guy.
In these days of danger, when democracy must be more than vigilant, there can be no connivance with the kind of politics which has internally weakened nations abroad before the enemy has struck from without.
It is best for America to have the fight out here and now.
So he's calling for a fight.
He's calling for a fight with those conservative Democrats.
Let's do it and let's do it now and let's settle this shit once and for all.
I wish to give the Democratic Party the opportunity to make its historic decision clearly and without equivocation.
Its decision of whether you're going to stand for the people or not.
That party must go wholly one way or wholly the other.
Amen.
What are you doing?
You're purity.
What are you?
You're pure.
We got to fight against the Republicans, Ron.
You're being too pure.
Why are you being such a purity pure?
I can see you're going to do it too.
You're going to be a purity pure.
Why would you do that?
Purity pure.
Oh, you're a purist.
Oh, I caught you.
It cannot face in both directions at the same time.
Somebody should read this to Tom Perez's fucking face.
Write in his fucking face.
Hey, Tom, I have something I want to read to you to your face.
It's from FDR.
You know what we have with them?
What is the point of being a grown man and you can't even speak from your heart?
What is the point of being a grown man in your entire life?
You're bought.
Everything that comes out of your mouth, as Bill Hicks said, is like a turd falling into my fucking drink because you're paid to say it.
See, I was thinking it would have been awesome if Bernie would have read that right before the convention and then just him and all of his people would have just walked out.
I agree.
I mean, here's the thing.
He should have read this at the convention.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Yeah, he should have read that.
I mean, I think that the whole thing with all this and why it's so important to like evoke FDR right now, there is a time in politics, like anything else, there's a time to stand your ground and a time to compromise.
We're in a standard ground time.
We're in a standard ground time.
And if you're going to disagree with that, you haven't been paying attention to any of this nation's history.
You haven't been paying attention to what happened right before FDR happened.
We're at a revolutionary time.
So no, this isn't a time of compromise.
And no matter how many baby boomers tell you that, they're wrong and it's not 1960 anymore.
We're in a revolutionary time.
Now's the time to stand our ground.
You are correct.
FDR is laying off the case.
He's got a little bit more.
He says, by declining the honor of the nomination for the presidency, this is when he lays the hammer down.
By declining the honor of the nomination for the presidency, I can restore that opportunity to the convention.
I so do.
So he's like, hey, guess what?
You don't want to get behind my policies.
You don't want to get behind me, the most popular politician in the goddamn country.
You don't want to get behind me?
Well, then you don't get to have me.
You can go lose on your own.
That's what he's saying.
But guess what?
In the end, that letter was never sent.
As a speech by Eleanor Roosevelt turned the tide for Wallace at the convention.
So he didn't have to send that.
He didn't have to give that speech because he got his way before he had to threaten him like that.
Roosevelt's letter with its powerful critique of the Democratic Party was published almost nowhere and was essentially unknown before it appeared in Oliver Stone's new Showtime documentary series, Untold History of the United States.
So that's where that came from.
Well, you know, there's a law of the universe that, you know, everything happens for a reason.
And maybe we really need that message right now, even though he didn't need it for the short-term thing that he needed back then.
Isn't it interesting?
And I brought it up all the time.
When the market crashed and Barack Obama came president, none of the Democrats mentioned FDR, ever brought up FDR.
Why?
Because the Democrats were busy dismantling the New Deal for the prior two decades.
I don't know if you know that, but Bill Clinton, he repealed the banking New Deal regulations.
He crushed the poor people by gutting welfare, at the same time, exploding the prison population.
We're going to take away your benefits and put you in prison.
Ah, Democrats.
Did a lot of other horrible things, too.
Tried to privatize Social Security, pass NAFTA, already screwing over union workers.
A lot of bad things that the Democrats did.
And that's why they never, they still don't mention FDR.
Barack Obama mentions Bregin all the time.
Barack Obama never, I never ever heard him mention FDR.
Why is that?
Why doesn't Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi mention the most popular president in the history of the world?
Republicans still mention fucking Lincoln all the time, the party of Lincoln.
We're the party of Roosevelt.
And they never mention it.
And that's why you know they're not really Democrats.
That's why you know they're just corporatist tools Who are selling out their country, and the way they do it is by defeating the agenda of the worker.
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*music*
Oh, look, we got Rick Perry's on the phone.
Hi, how everybody.
Hi, Governor Perry.
What's the occasion?
I'm here to protest the illegitimate election of an openly gay man as a student body president of my alma molted Texas AM.
It's alma mater, not alma malted.
Anyway, you wrote an op-ed about that.
What's your gripe?
At Texas AM, we don't elect openly gay gays.
We repress our feelings until we release it naturally through fracking and animal cruelty.
And more important, he never won the popular vote.
I hate politicians who get elected without winning the most votes.
Really mashes my taco.
If he never won the most votes, then how do you win the election?
No reason.
The other guy was disqualified for intimidation and fraud.
Complete bullshit.
Well, isn't intimidation and fraud bad?
Intimidation and fraud is our state motto, you big lunkhead.
Right next to don't mess on Texas.
Don't you mean don't mess with Texas?
I'm pretty sure it's don't mess on Texas, Jimmy.
With would imply that Texas is also doing some messing.
So it'd be like, hey, I want to mess with Texas, meaning Texas wants to make a mess on itself, and you're going to help Texas mess itself.
Right?
That doesn't make no sense.
Understand me?
Not really.
Let me put it another way.
On and with our prepositions, right?
But they don't mean the same thing.
For example, we have illegals entering our state.
They get their mess on our state, like litter and stuff like that.
Whereas, and I'm a lawyer, so I can say, whereas, whereas if they're messing with Texas, it means they're participating in some hearty fellowship with other fellow Texans, like starting a cult or hitting an armadillo with a shovel.
I have supported documents.
Hey, so how is it going over at the Department of Energy?
I give up.
How is it going over at the Department of Energy?
You're head of the Department of Energy, Rick.
Don't you remember?
We don't call it the Department of Energy anymore, you ignorant HELOT.
We call it the Department of Nuclear Energy.
It's time you hippy-dippy Luddites entered the 20th century and embraced our nuclear hermitage.
And that's why I just got back from Turin to Yucca Mountain Nuclear Waste Apostle in Nevada.
You met with Governor Sandoval regarding storing nuclear waste there?
Yep.
I thanked him for the long and sordid history that Nevadaians have had in our nuclear and defense industries.
Nuclear?
We had a fair and productive conversation, and I stressed the need for Nevada to take the country's radioactive fuel rods and store it in their beautiful mountains for the good of the war.
I mean, defense industry.
And what was his response?
He told me to go fuck myself.
But I blame that on Obama.
He's the one who canceled the project.
You know, assuming it's approved again, is it still going to cost at least $120 million, right?
Well, the president's assured me Nevada will build the big cave and pay for it.
It's going to be the biggest and most tremendous nuclear waste cave you've ever seen.
And we're going to make sure no foreign radioactive fuel rods get into that cave unless they're from Saudi Arabia or the Slovak Republic, where they make those riot control tractors for our police forces.
You probably hate our police forces because you're against law and order.
I'm not against law and order.
You know, Jimmy, in the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups.
The people who investigate crime and the district attorneys who prosecute the offenders.
These are their stories.
Man, I love that.
You know, that used to be inscribed on a rock at N-wordhead, the Perry family hunting camp, right under the name N-Word Head.
Had to take that off, though.
Not N-word Head, but the Law and Order thing.
NBC copyright lawyers can be real bitch.
That was a misdirection there.
Comedy 101.
What about public defenders?
Don't they also have to represent people?
Are you calling Sam Waterston a liar?
He represents TJ Ameritrade, formerly T.D. Waterhouse.
Gong Hong.
That's a gavel sound from Law and Order, remember?
Weren't you arrested once?
Gong gong.
Wrong.
Okay, yes.
But that was a bullshit charge.
The cops were on the take, and the persecutors were corrupt and biased against me.
But I wanted to end because you know why?
Why?
Because don't mess on me.
That's why.
And that's the kind of leadership I'll bring to the new Carlore Energy Department if elected.
Wait, I was appointed, right?
Appointed, elected.
It's one of those.
Sorry.
Oh, well.
Whoops.
Everybody, welcome to the Jimmy Door Show.
I'm here with Steph Zamarano, the miserable liberal, and Ron Blacone.
Hello.
So, you know, you heard what happened.
I don't know if you watched the other videos on this channel, that the GOP has passed repealed rules protecting your privacy.
So now your internet provider can tell anybody about whatever website you went to.
They can tell them anything you bought, anything you've done online.
Your internet service provider now can take all that and sell it to anybody, give it to anybody, share it with anybody, and you can't say anything about it.
So you have zero, zero, super zero privacy.
And they're selling it, by the way.
So not only that, but they're selling it.
So there's a group called ResistanceReport.com.
And their crowdfunding campaign seeks to purchase search history of lawmakers who killed the internet privacy.
Oh, man.
I love them.
The website searchinternethistory.com is attempting to raise $1 million in order to put in bids to purchase the internet history of leading Republicans and federal communications members.
The first histories the site aims to buy are those of Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, House Speaker Paul Ryan, Congresswoman Marsha Blackburn, and FCC Chairman Ajit Pai.
If it takes a million dollars to get real change, I am sure a million people are willing to donate $1 to help ensure their private data stays private.
I am.
I'm going to donate.
Me too.
I'm going to donate.
They're getting $3 today.
Okay.
I'm going to go chip in.
I'm going to put that Democratic fundraising email in the back burner of Tom Perez.
We know they're hurting for cash, but sorry, we got to prioritize here.
Tom Perez, I know you're busy.
Lead with your values.
And when you lead with your values, you connect.
It's the messaging of transparency causes a crisis of opportunity.
We're for everybody getting a fair shot if they're willing to work hard.
We're for everybody.
We're the Democrats.
Anyway, so there you go.
McClaney, Melhaney, who describes himself as a privacy activist and net neutrality advocate, argues that since both Congress and both houses of Congress have passed bills allowing anyone's browser history to be sold and purchased by major telecom giants like Verizon, that the American people should be able to buy the browser records for their elected officials.
I agree.
If successful, the site aims to publish a searchable database of browser history for every member of Congress who voted to gut former President Barack Obama's regulations prohibiting corporations from viewing Americans' browser histories.
This is a great idea.
Yeah, this is pretty awesome.
And I mean, just some of those names: Paul Ryan, Mitch McConnell.
There is going to be some weird porn on these results.
We got to get these results.
This is important.
It's going to be bizarre.
I know this sounds like a prank or some kind of thing that's outside of politics.
This is super important.
This is super important.
If they can pull this off, this, remember, I don't know if there's another video.
Justice Bork, who was nominated by Ronald Reagan to be a Supreme Court justice, when he was doing that nominating process, somebody released his videotape rentals from his videotape store.
It's before the internet.
You had to go to a store physically and rent something and give someone cash.
Or greenbacks, as they were called back.
Greenbacks.
And so they released that, that information of all the videos he had rented, and they passed a law immediately saying you can't do that.
But now they're saying you could do it to everybody.
Even worse, way worse than that.
Not just the videos I'm watching.
They know the stuff I'm buying, the mental conditions I have, the mental condition of my wife, my whole family, anybody.
Where I'm going on vacation, the stuff I'm reading, the clothes I'm buying, the underwear I wear.
That's my private business.
And yes, I like to feel fresh.
Oh, so this would be great.
This is why this is important.
So if we get this and we can do that, they will pass a law making it illegal to do what we're trying to do.
They will make it privacy is important again.
Believe me.
Let's do this.
Everything from their medical pornographic to their financial and infidelity.
Oh, man.
Anything they have looked at, searched for, or visited on the internet will now be available for everyone to comb through.
The site promises.
Next to a survey of which public officials' browser history should be published first.
So now they can just every porn site you've ever been to, every personal item you've ever shopped for, every personal condition you've ever looked up, any mental health thing, no matter what it is you've looked up, marriage problems, no matter what you've looked up on the internet, they're going to be able to sell it to a corporation who can make it public.
That's gross.
Since we didn't get an opportunity to vote on whether our private and personal browsing history should be bought and sold, I want to show our legislators what a democracy is like.
So I'm giving you the opportunity to vote on whose history gets bought first.
Oh, man.
Paul Ryan's.
I would say Paul Ryan.
See, I think Mitch McConnell's is going to be like way creepier and more interesting.
I think he's just boring.
I don't know, man.
I think that guy, like, I think when the internet first happened, he was probably real intrigued.
He was probably in some weird chat rooms, and he's probably still fascinated.
You're probably right.
I don't know.
So this guy says, help me raise the money to buy histories of those who took away your right to privacy.
Okay, I'm doing it.
I'm doing it.
I'm going to donate.
I hope you donate.
This is a great idea.
Let's get it.
And let's try to humiliate some politicians who took your right to privacy away.
And I know you didn't, people who voted Republican didn't vote for that.
I know people who voted for Trump didn't vote for this.
Just like when I voted for Barack Obama, I didn't vote for him to fucking crack the heads of Wall Street protesters while he gave bonuses to Wall Street executive assholes who wrecked our economy.
I didn't vote for that.
I didn't vote for him to take two wars and turn it into seven.
I didn't vote for him to make George Bush's tax cuts permanent.
I didn't vote for him to cut food stamps, which is what he did.
I didn't vote for him to open up the Arctic to drilling.
I didn't vote for him.
And I know how you feel because I know Trump voters didn't vote for this.
This is why you voted.
So this is why people wanted to smash the establishment.
This is why a lot of people voted for Trump because they were sick as shit like this.
Their elected leaders getting together with corporations to F them over.
And now it turns out he's doing the same goddamn thing.
And people tried to tell you Trump was a con man, but at least he was pretending.
So is Hillary Clinton.
She was going to institute more neoliberalism, which is what's wrecking the world.
So that's why we need a third party, and we need to take over our government again.
And that's why I'm doing the draft Bernie thing.
I know, you know, we've got to do everything we can.
We have to try to take back over our government, okay?
This is a great step.
Nick Bronnet's third party, I think it's a great idea.
Draft Bernie.
You go, you donate, and you don't have to pay the money until Bernie says, yes, I'm going to come and be ahead of this party.
That's when they charge all the money, and that's when you pay.
Isn't that great?
So if you see a bunch of people already donating and Bernie goes, wow, there's a million people already ready to donate 2 million for whatever.
Let's do it.
So we got to do something because this is horrible.
I know Trump voters didn't vote for this.
I know Republicans don't want this.
Republicans are supposed to be conservative.
They're supposed to make a government fear you.
So let's, I want to reach out to the Trump voters.
And what I say to them is I want you to join me in advocating for internet privacy.
It's absolutely crazy.
It's crazy that a private company could know what I'm talking about with my doctor.
What businesses are them?
And if you believe that, I want you to join me in fighting back against the corporate donors.
So there's lots of common ground.
People are sick and tired of this on the left and the right.
Well, the left was united against this this time.
So that's good to see.
They're getting a little practice.
I'm going to donate.
Let's take our fucking country back.
Let's make the politicians afraid of us.
The President's House of Representatives Hey, this is Jimmy.
Hey, Jim.
How's it going?
It's George Clooney.
Hey, George, how are you?
Not bad, not bad.
How about yourself?
Hey, I'm doing great, George.
We've been doing a lot of live shows to packed houses.
Our YouTube channel's blowing up.
That sounds fantastic.
I, yours truly, George Clooney, the cloons, is about to be a father.
Whoa!
Really?
That's great news, George.
Yeah, thank you.
I'm very proud.
I think fatherhood is going to suit me well.
I'm a handsome man with a good jawline.
I think I'll photograph very well with a couple of babies.
A couple?
Twins, Jimmy.
Twins.
Can you believe it?
That's the medical term for when two come out at once.
Yeah, I know.
Yes.
George Clooney, father.
My greatest role.
Are you excited?
I mean, this is a big deal.
Having children is a huge life change, George.
I know.
I know.
I'm well aware.
There are going to be children near me sometimes.
Kind of blows the mind.
You got names picked out?
Names?
Oh, yeah, I think she's done that already.
I wanted to name them both Pikachu, but she wouldn't have it.
So why are you calling me?
Well, I wanted to see if you want to go hang out sometime.
Sure.
Having a pregnant wife is boring.
I got to get out of here.
Oh, really?
Yeah, they can't do anything.
They can't drink.
They can't have sushi.
No sushi?
Yeah, there's some disease in the fish that makes the babies turn into monsters or something.
I don't know.
Anyway, we got to go get some scotch and sushi like we used to.
We've actually never hung out before.
Oh, no.
No, I'd remember that, George.
Yeah, yeah.
I got to get out of the house.
My wife, Amal Amal Clooney, wife of George Clooney, right?
She, what's her name again?
Amal.
Right.
What's your face is being a moody bitch, and I got to hit the bricks.
Maybe for a few days.
Can I stay at your place?
What's your guest house situation?
George, I don't have a guest house.
What are you, Romanian peasant?
What about this Trump guy?
He's bad, right?
Yeah, yeah, he's bad.
And that's Steve Bannon.
Also bad.
Did you talk about that on the show?
We focus on making the left more progressive.
Yeah, right.
Like gays and stuff.
We sort of assume acceptance of homosexuals is a given on the left at this point, George.
Right, right.
But can I still talk about it like I'm the first important person to accept gays?
Sure thing, George.
Man, Trump is bad.
Yes.
Well, I'm coming over.
My wife has gestational diabetes, and she needs to go to the hospital.
So I better get out of here before she gets mad that I'm not going to take her.
Hey, everybody, I'm here with Michael Tracy from the Young Turks and Ron Placone, comedian.
Howdy, honey.
What up?
So we've been talking about what happened to the progressives in the Democratic Party and is that they got screwed over because you've heard me say it before.
I'll say it again.
The Democrats, the corporate Democrats, the people who run the party would rather lose to Donald Trump than have a progressive win because then they all lose their jobs.
So just that's why, right?
So it upsets the apple cart of the money.
Okay.
Money cart.
I think I'm mixing metaphors.
And so Keith Ellison was interviewed a little while ago by a TYT reporter.
It was interviewed by Eric Byler, our good friend, young Turk reporter.
And so here's Keith Ellison.
Now, and I don't know if you remember, he was the progressive because he backed Bernie in the primary.
He ran for the DNC chair.
And I don't know if you remember when it looked like he was going to win, Barack Obama picked up the phone and called Tom Perez, his corporate toady, and said, you better run for the DNC chair.
And we're going to get all the other corporate Democrats to vote for you and screw over the progressive because, as you know, we can't have a progressive take over the party.
So that's what happened.
And now Keith Ellison, they gave him a bullshit position, a symbolic position of deputy chair, which is no power.
He has no power.
And as soon as he said something that the corporate Democrats disagree with, he will be let go or shut up or whatever.
So the progressives are upset with the party.
We're done with it.
I'm done with the Democratic Party.
I mean, as far as I want a third party because I don't think the Democrats are really fixable.
I'm saying we need Bernie Sanders to start a third party.
But, you know, I'm all for everything.
All the above.
Let's do Justice Democrats, like the primary, the corporate Democrats.
Let's do, let's have Move On.
Let's have Indivisible.
Let's have Nick Brana and the Prime Minister.
I'm for everything.
But here is Keith Ellison.
And so they ask him, you know, so here's the thing.
The progressives are feeling left out.
We got nowhere to go.
We see what is happening.
We see what's happened.
And we see what's going to happen going forward.
The Democratic Party is not becoming more progressive.
They are not espousing a progressive platform.
They don't have anything to replace Trump with, and they're still running on the same thing that lost last time, which is we're not Trump.
They lost.
They're lost at every level of government.
It's not just the presidency.
So now they're talking to Keith Ellison.
And here's his message to progressives who are upset with the party.
You're interviewing me in Selma, Alabama.
This is where people paid a price far superior to any price we're paying right now.
I mean, these people were shot, killed, murdered, bombed.
You name it.
It happened.
It never stopped them from fighting.
And so don't tell me because you're frustrated about what happened at my DNC race or Bernie's race or anybody else's race that you throw your hands up.
That's a bunch of crap right there.
Buck up.
Now, I don't want to be too hard on Keith Ellison, but I remember when Martin Luther King told protesters in his movement in Alabama to buck up and just accept it.
They can't go to college there.
Remember that?
Remember when he told, Remember when he told Rosa Parks, buck up and sit in the back of the bus so you didn't get the front seat.
Buck up.
Just take it.
So apparently, you're disrespecting the civil rights movement if you're upset that a chair position was unfairly taken from a black guy.
You're disrespecting the civil rights movement if you're upset about that.
That's the question.
So this is what I'm hearing.
If he means something different, I wish people.
What do you think he means by that, Michael Tracy?
Well, the weird thing is, he's responding to a straw man.
So nobody has suggested that we should all become apathetic.
Right.
Or we should cease caring about politics in the United States.
What people have said, and I think what he's replying to, is that perhaps the Democratic Party is not the most advantageous vehicle to try to attain our desired reforms.
And if his idea is bucking up means just suck it up and dispense with your qualms about how the party operates and continue to support them, support them and be in that mode of activism, then I don't know what is he saying.
I mean, there are plenty of alternate venues for people to express their political feelings and get involved in activism that have nothing to do with the Democratic Party per se.
So when he says buck up, nobody's saying, nobody has saying, oh, I'm just going to slink away and decline to do anything anymore.
I don't know that the Democratic Party is the most suitable way to even go about this anymore.
Well, it's interesting you bring up apathy too, because the whole like, well, just buck up and take it.
That sounds way more apathetic than somebody that's paying attention to what's going on and saying, hey, this is dangerous.
People need to stick it out and not change anything.
That's how winning happens.
If you withdraw your consent from the Democratic Party and if you decline to be party to their party anymore, then you're really forcing them to change on the condition that you'll no longer be a member unless they take tangible steps to reform how they operate.
So in a sense, you're not bucking down.
You're bucking up.
You are bucking up.
By saying, you know, I'm going to withdraw from this process totally, and then you can come back to me.
So then you have the leverage in the power dynamic.
So, you know, once you're ready to accept certain conditions for my participation, then I'm willing to rejoin.
But for now, I'm out of here.
So, I mean, maybe he means something different, but it sounds like that what he means is just because things didn't go your way with Bernie and/or with this chair doesn't mean you should quit the Democratic Party or quit voting for us or supporting us.
No, that's exactly what it means.
It means that the fucking party has turned its back and criminally, unethically screwed over its progressive base.
Half the party.
And by the way, if you were doing it because you knew you were going to win and you won, that would be one thing.
You're losers.
You're wiped out.
You didn't just lose to Trump.
You lost at every level of government.
You're wiped out at the state level.
You're wiped out in Congress and the Senate.
You guys are wiped out and you lost the most beatable politician in the world and you don't want to change at all.
And that's the problem.
That's not bucking up.
Bucking up is that what he says is put your head in the sand and just let's just keep going what we've always been doing.
And let's pretend that unity is the thing that's going to, you're not, we're not united.
I'm not united with your corporate bullshit.
That's not happening, Keith.
So this idea that you can slap your fucking face on the Democratic Party and somehow that means we're all going to come together because now your face is there is bullshit.
That's not happening.
I'm not coming around to corporate bullshit.
You know, if you want to get me to buck up and support the Democratic Party, become fucking progressives and actually try to win a race.
Try to win a race by appealing to the people you're supposed to be representing, not Silicon Valley, not Wall Street, and not the military-industrial complex.
Where's your fucking platform, Keith?
Where's your platform for ending the seven wars, Barack Obama got us in and investing that money back at home?
Where's your platform for free college or $15 minimum wage?
Where's your platform for ending fracking?
Where's your platform for a Green New Deal?
Where's your fucking platform, Keith?
You ain't got one except telling people like me to shut up.
I'm telling you to shut the fuck up.
Get your head out of your ass because you're a loser.
And so is the goddamn Democrats.
And the whole country's going down the troiling because of people like you keep telling people like me to buck up.
I'm telling you to buck up and fucking speak out against those corporate Democrats and don't take their crumbs because I ain't taking their crumbs.
I'm asking you to buck up and be a fucking man and stand up.
Hello, this is Jimmy.
Jimmy Rick Perry here.
Governor, how are you?
Sorry, Jimbo, but it's now Mr. Secretary because I don't know if you've heard, but I'm now the Secretary of Energy.
Yeah, I heard that, Rick.
Or it might be administrative assistant of energy.
Yeah, it's the Secretary, Rick.
Just seems like a demeaning title.
I'm trying to get people to call me Captain Atomic, but it's not catching on.
You know, there's a lot more to that Rick Perry phone call.
We don't have time to get to it in today's podcast.
Hey, how do I hear the whole thing?
You get the premium.
That's right.
We always play our funny phone calls, and you get to hear all the stuff that's on our mind and what's happening.
And it's a great free form podcast.
And we're going to be offering a video podcast premium also very soon.
And how do you get that?
You go to JimmyDoorComedy.com.
You click on join premium.
It's the most affordable premium program in the business.
It's $5 a month.
If you pay for the whole year at once, you get a month free.
So it's even less than that.
So the whole point of it, too, also is it's a great way to help support the show, right?
You like the show, you want to hear more of the show.
Plus, you're supporting the show, right?
So, you know, of course, until MSNBC offers me a couple $6 million.
That's never going to happen.
That would never.
Hey, Jim, you want to come tell the truth?
Yeah.
No, they're never going to say that.
They're never going to ask me.
All right.
So go over to, please go over to JimmyDoorComedy.com.
I'm a premium member.
All right.
We'll see you April 24th.
That's our next live show, April 24.
It's a Monday.
It's in Burbank.
It always sells out.
So get your tickets early because people go, it's always, I don't know what else to say, but get your tickets early.
Go to JimmyDoorComedy.com for the link for those tickets.
All right.
That's it for this week.
Today's show was written by Ron Placone, Steph Zamorano, Robert Yasamura, and Jim Earl and Mike McRae.
All the voices performed by the one and the only, the inimitable Mike McRae, who can be found at mikemcray.com.
Okay, until next week, this is Jimmy Dorr saying you be the best you can be, and I'll keep being me.
We go, we go.
Do not freak out.
I'm not do not freak out.
I'm not do not freak out.
Do not freak out.
Do not freak out.
Do not, do not, do not, do not, do not do that.
I'm not kidding.
I'm not kidding.
Do not freak out.
Do not freak out.
I'm not freak out.
I'm not.
Do not.
I'm not.
I'm not freak out.
I'm not giving it.
Don't dump the don't dump the super.
Do not freak out.
Do not freak out.
Don't break out.
Don't bring out.
Don't break out.
Don't don't don't don't dump the super.
I'm not giving it.
Don't don't freak out.
Don't don't do not freak out.
Do not freak out.
Don't freak out.
Do not, do not, do not do not freak out.
Do not freak out.
I'm not giving it.
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