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Dec. 17, 2016 - Jimmy Dore Show
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Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program.
The Jimmy Dore Show!
Hello.
Jimmy, Barack Obama here.
I got great news.
President Obama, we need some good news.
What's the good news, buddy?
Russia fixed the election for Donald Trump.
How is that good news?
Because depending on how things may or may not turn out, Hillary can be president again.
And once his face can be vice president.
I mean, you know what I mean.
That's pretty explosive, Mr. President.
What conclusive proof do you have so far?
Get this.
And you might want to sit your skinny pot soak brittle to laugh down when you hear this one.
Unverified assertions from anonymous officials based on secret evidence from unnamed sources.
Case closed.
What?
Unverified assertions from anonymous officials based on secret evidence from unnamed sources.
Say it fast with me.
Unverified assortments from anonymous officials based on secret evidence for donates orders of the Super Gash Prize list against the aldosis.
Oh, man, this is so much fun.
But people deserve more evidence than that, don't they?
This is America, Jimmy.
People wake up every morning to orange juice with pulp in it.
Not real pulp, Jimmy.
It's shit.
It's denuded cell structure with less additional value than the crap they wrap it with.
And it's not real juice.
It's done with flavor packets.
You can't get that kind of taste from nature.
Wake up and smell the Sanka, Stanka.
But real journalism requires fact-checking and verifiable evidence, Mr. President.
What?
You heard me.
It's basic journalism 101, Jimmy.
Open and shut case.
It's all there in black and white.
If you could see it and you knew who it was who wasn't revealing themselves, you'd understand what I'm talking about.
Do you really believe Putin didn't try to interfere with our electoral process?
I'm sure he tried, but what are the odds Russian interference swayed the election to such an extent that Clinton lost the electoral vote so badly?
Jimmy, you're familiar with Newton's law of universal gravitation, right?
You take me for a moron.
Every mass in the universe attracts every other mass with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them.
Right.
Now, given the Earth's free fall acceleration...
Right, 9.8 meters per second squared.
Given that acceleration rate, the influence exerted upon Earth by Pluto's gravitational pull works out to approximately one quintillionth of a meter per second squared.
Currently, that is 100% more evidence-based proof of foreign influence upon our elections than exists for the claim that Russian interference fixed the presidency for Trump.
Well, that's pretty good, right?
What do you mean pretty good?
That sucks.
Jimmy, as long as there's a sliver of hope, Russia theoretically influenced our election, we're going with it.
We must not allow foreign influence to sway our electoral process.
Really?
What about Citizens United and the corporate influence that's already here and provable?
I guess that means you're going to investigate every multi-billion dollar American mega conglomerate hiding their profits and offshore bank accounts, right?
Excuse me, but that sure doesn't sound like a cush lobbying job you just offered me, Mr. BP.
Jimmy, I will not rest until we prove Russia cost Hillary the election by turning her into an uninspiring status quo Wall Street mouthpiece.
It's insidious.
But isn't it true America has been fucking with the election of other countries for the past, I don't know, 100 years?
Oh, heck, Timmy.
It's such an insignificant amount.
I can only think of a couple off the top of my head.
There's one.
But really, that's all I can think of right now.
Well, all right.
And thank you, Mr. President.
I got to go now.
Oh, and Iran.
That was a big one.
Remember that one?
Yeah.
That's all I got.
Seriously.
Can't piss a drop.
Oh, Kingdom of Hawaii.
That's another one.
Ukraine, Iraq, Lebanon, Honduras, Chile, Guatemala, Venezuela, Nicaragua, Granada, Jamaica, Panama, Angola.
A lot of places ending with the sound oh.
Weird, huh?
Anyway, Burkina.
Burkina?
Yeah, bet you never heard of that place before.
That's all I can think of right now.
I'll see you later.
Okay, thank you, Mr. Faso.
Bolivia, Peru, Paraguay, Congo, Indonesia, Afghanistan, Philippines, Japan, Vietnam, Cambodia, Canada, Italy.
Goodbye, Barack.
I forgot Cucamanga and Montclair and Claremont and Azusa, McDonnell, the Ross Ice Shelf, the undersea world of Jacques Cousteau, Ice Station Zebra.
Oh, and Russia.
Wow, that's ironic, huh?
Russia.
I'm out.
It's the Jimmy Dore Show.
The show for...
...the kind of people that are...
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper save.
And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore!
Everybody, welcome to this week's Jimmy Dore show.
I hope you enjoyed the Barack Obama phone call.
It was one of my all-time faves.
And, you know, I know it's easy to blame Hillary's loss on Russia election interference.
I know it's easy to blame Hillary's loss on Russian election interference, but I won't be convinced until I hear from two more anonymous unconfirmed sources and my Facebook friends.
All right.
We've got a lot of, we've got a lot of show coming up this week.
Before we get to it, I want to remind everybody, December 26th.
That's the day after Christmas.
We're doing a live Jimmy Door show at the Flappers Comedy Club in Burbank.
There is a link for tickets over at JimmyDoreComedy.com.
We will see you there.
8 p.m. show.
The day after Christmas, people go, Jimmy, that's a crazy time to be doing a show.
Let me tell you, people are sick of their families by the day after Christmas.
Anyway, so we'll see you there.
We will see you there.
Okay, what is coming up on today's show?
Oh, guess what?
Rick Perry, Ricky Bobby Perry, was made energy or he's been tapped to be the Secretary of Energy, Ricky Bobby Perry.
He's going to call in.
Also, we round out the show.
Bernie Sanders calls in today.
We're also going to talk about Trump.
He's got a new Secretary of State who's friendly with Russia.
Isn't that something?
Is it better to be friendly with Russia or is it better to be at war with Russia?
I don't know.
Hey, turns out the CIA are liars and everyone needs to really be reminded of that.
So we're going to do that on today's show.
Plus, we have the voice of the blue-collar workers.
Young Turks reporter Eric Biler was at a fight for 15 protest, and he talked to a sage who happens to work for the Waffle House, and he really understands the economy because these people are living.
The results, they're the result of bad Washington policy.
These people are living it.
And this guy, wow, I can't wait to get to it, by the way.
So let's just get to it.
So that's what's coming up and a lot more on today.
He's Jimmy Dorsey.
There's a new Secretary of Strait being nominated.
Breaking NBC reports Rex Tillerson, president and CEO of ExxonMobil, will be Trump's Secretary of State.
That's what they're floating.
People are freaking out about it.
Here was my take.
Here's my hot take.
I say they cut out the middleman on some level.
Kind of refreshing that they're not pretending what our foreign policy is actually about.
Now we don't have to guess.
This is about oil.
I watched a whole nother news report about Syria today.
They never mentioned why we're in Syria.
Why are we in Syria?
Because Saudi Arabia wants to put a pipeline through Syria.
That's why we're in Syria.
And Syria doesn't want it.
And neither does Russia.
That's why Russia backs Assad.
And we want to overthrow Assad.
Remember, we had that big debate in Congress about whether we should go to war to overthrow a sovereign government?
Me neither, because we never had it.
And the last time Barack Obama publicly said he wanted to bomb Syria and he asked Congress, Congress said no.
So guess what?
They just stop asking.
And now they just do it.
They just bomb without asking.
So now, maybe that we have this guy as our Secretary of State, people will start asking why the fuck we're bombing everywhere.
We're bombing everywhere.
Barack Obama just started bombing in Somalia.
We're bombing in Yemen.
Why are we bombing in Yemen?
Why are we bombing in Somalia, the poorest countries on the face of the earth?
We got to bomb them.
We got to kill some people there.
Yeah.
Syria is a hellhole.
And we're arming our enemies in Syria.
And this is all about fossil fuel.
This is all about fossil fuel.
So now, so people are going crazy that he's doing this.
People are going crazy.
I'm like, this is great.
Just like Malcolm X said about Goldwater.
He can't hide it.
He can't hide his disdain for black people.
It's better to have him in there instead of a sheep and wolf's clothing.
Donny Tynehans isn't hiding what he's about.
They're not hiding what their foreign policy is about.
We put the CEO of Exxon as our Secretary of Freaking State.
I swear to God, that's just, at some level, it's genius beyond belief.
On some level.
Is he going to clock out?
Yeah, right.
And let me just say to Donny Tynehands, thanks for doing that.
You want to have someone who isn't the CEO of an oil company, but just takes the money from the CEO of the oil company and does their bidding secretly?
Or do you want someone who's right out in the open?
It's so good that we're going to be able to oppose all this stuff.
I don't think that it was Tiny Hands that appointed him.
Well, he's the one floating him.
Why?
Who do you think?
I thought it was, I thought Putin.
Putin did it.
He's in bed.
He's super in bed with Putin.
He's been doing business with Putin for a million fucking years.
Actually, we have a video.
I'm going to play a videotape of that in just a second.
It's so interesting that you screen this up because Senator John McCain, according to the New York Times, said Tillerson's connections to Mr. Putin are a matter of concern to me.
Yes.
And promised to examine them closely where he'd be nominated.
And McCain went on to say, in the past, Vladimir Putin is a thug, bully, and a murderer.
And anybody else who describes him as anything else is lying.
What I like about this, though, is that it finally, you know, we can see Exxon for what it is, which is it's a country in and of itself.
And Exxon needs its own foreign policy.
Exxon sales make them a bigger economy than probably three quarters of the countries on earth.
Right.
Right.
So they need their own foreign policy.
It's just nice that we've, it's a merger is what it is.
It's just a nice merger between Exxon and the quote-unquote United States of America.
We're just merging.
It's a separate merger.
This is just proof that America is an oil company with an army.
Correct.
Yes.
That's brilliant.
That's exactly what it is.
So Reuters reports this.
Reuters says Exxon CAO as Trump's Secretary of State puts senators in a tough position.
Really?
Doing their job, which is something they don't want to do.
So this is the front runner for Secretary of State is President-elect Donald Trump's administration.
ExxonMobil chief Rex Tillerson faces a struggle getting confirmed by U.S. senators concerned about his close ties to Russia.
I'm going to guess he gets confirmed, no problem.
What do you think?
I don't think it'll be that.
Well, he's been confirmed.
He was confirmed by the Politburo, so they approved it.
And now this is the last hoop he's got to jump through.
I don't know.
Republicans and Democrats said Tillerson, who was also president of ExxonMobil Corp, would be asked about his ties to Russia, having met President Vladimir Putin several times and won fresh praise from Moscow on Monday.
He also won like their Patriots.
Do you know what I mean?
It's not the man of the year, but he got an award.
Right.
We love you.
And the level of deals that they've done together, you know, the Russian oil company and Exxon is just its bazillions and bazillions of dollars.
Yes.
Yes.
Exxon and Russia.
In 2013, Putin bestowed a Russian state honor.
That's what it is.
The order of friendship.
That's what it's called.
The order.
I demand you be friendship.
That's amazing.
The order of friendship.
They cited his work strengthening cooperation in the energy sector.
Then here you go, Senator John McCain.
He said all that stuff that you just said.
And then he said he's bent on restoring.
Putin is bent on restoring the Russian empire.
Another Republican senator, Marco Rubio, who serves on the Senate Foreign Relations Committee that would review a Tillerson nomination, has voiced similar worries.
Now, what does this mean for these politicians?
So now, John McCain just won his reelection.
That's why he's able to do this.
So did Marco Rubio.
So they got six years ahead of them, and John McCain will be dead before the end of that six years.
So he doesn't give a shit anymore.
So that's why he can say this stuff.
And Marco Rubio hates Trump.
And he wants a boat.
He wants another boat.
And he just won re-election to the Senate.
So he's got six years ahead of him.
So he'll be in the Senate long after Trump's gone.
This goes into my theory that other senators who are going to be up for election, you can stick them with this stuff, right?
So they're going to have to vote for him in the Senate.
They're going to have to confirm.
So we got to stick all this shit onto the Republicans.
If the Democrats are smart, they'll be able to do that.
The Democrats are not smart, and they're bought by the same people.
And that's the problem.
They're going to oppose this guy after all of them take money from the goddamn company?
What are you going to do?
They all take money from the fossil fuel industry.
They all take money from Wall Street.
This might be the one, though, you know, because you know that one or two of these cabinet nominees are going to be sacrificial lambs.
You know, you have to give the Senate something.
Something to say no to?
Yeah, something.
So they can say no.
Maybe this guy, maybe another guy.
But meanwhile, all the others go through, right?
Because you can't stop every whack job that they're putting forth.
So we get the Goldman Sachs guy.
Goldman Sachs guy.
He's good.
Yeah.
But, you know, maybe the Exxon guy doesn't get it.
Here he is meeting with Putin.
So they're all having champagne because they signed some deal.
And they just talk.
There's nothing really being said.
It's good to do it.
They're saying we'll honor their coming commencement to the full extent.
We will honor our commitments to the fullest.
It's all bullshit.
Everybody's going to get rich now because sucking oil out of the ground.
He's going to get rich.
He's already rich, getting richer.
They're all rich.
And they're just going to get richer now doing this.
But what is the motivation for this guy?
He's already got more money than he'll know what to do with.
So there you go.
So that's it.
Yeah, I don't, that's what dumbfounds me.
What is it?
Just power and whatever.
It's just power.
They've been changing his jagoffs.
There's nothing special about any of these people.
They're just regular jaguars who have craved power.
They just, I just, that's where I lose it with it with the 1%ers, which is how much do you need?
Well, that's that thing from Wall Street, that movie from 30 years ago.
But, you know, when he says to Gordon Gecko, how many yachts can you ski behind at once?
Yes.
One.
Right.
How many do you need?
Right.
But there's some kind of sickness.
It's this capitalist greed.
Definitely.
Sickness.
You think?
Yes.
Yes.
More and more.
It's a mental illness.
Yes, it is.
It really is.
Miserable.
You know, I'm just only thinking that a part of this, the sweetness about this is that Giuliani won't have a place right now.
I like that he has to kind of slouch away.
And then Mitt Romney posts on Facebook his announcement that he was grateful for this opportunity.
And I'm like, oh.
Yeah, it's nice that Trump is making all his detractors come back and kiss his ring.
And that's what, that's what mafia guys do.
That's what strong men do all over the world.
And he's making them come to Trump Tower to kiss his ring.
And then when they exit the elevator, they have to face the cameras.
And you get to see, you get to see Carly Fiorina and Mitt Romney.
Even Al Gore.
Even Al Gore.
Talk about salt in a wound.
Like, what was Al Gore thinking?
Here's the opportunity.
He's playing people getting played.
That's what that's about.
I mean, what are you doing?
Mitt Romney says on Facebook, he says, it was an honor to have been considered for Secretary of State of our great country.
My discussions with the President-elect Trump have been both enjoyable and enlightening.
Yeah, right.
We played that clip of him saying that.
That's gross.
He likes to be slapped.
Yeah.
He likes to be slapped.
So I think this might sound crazy to a lot of people because people have already been mad at me for that joke.
It's not really even a joke.
I actually am kind of happy that they did this.
If he becomes a Secretary of State, do you know how suspect everything he does will automatically be, which automatically should be.
But it isn't anymore because we have a shitty press, corporate-owned press.
It gets even worse because half of the press is in bed with power anyway and does their bidding and lying and propaganda.
We saw it.
We see the people on the left doing their right now.
MSNBC is almost a non-stop Democratic propaganda machine.
And MSNBC's, have you heard their new motto, MSNBC?
Lean forward till you hit your fucking head.
No, they got a new one.
They got a new one.
It's even better.
You're going to love this.
MSNBC's new motto is, we'll figure it out together.
Like, no, don't figure shit out.
No, you ain't figured it out.
Tell me what happened.
No, you're not figuring it out.
You guys aren't figuring shit out.
Figure it out.
They're going to figure that's their new thing.
Yeah, we're all going to figure it out.
You know, me, Micah, and Joe Scarborough.
We're going to figure it out.
You say Micah or Mika?
say Micah.
Micah.
So everybody's freaking out again over the Russian hack thing because the CIA.
It's a sad day for journalism in America.
Journalists have lost the ability to be skeptical and they're just taking what the CIA says as truth, the CIA.
So the CIA protesting a right-wing president being installed by a foreign power might be the funniest thing that's ever happened.
Because that's what the CIA does all over the goddamn world.
That's why that's funny.
And that's why whenever somebody on TV, a news person, acts all upset about this, you should tell them to go suck it.
Don't listen to those corporate tools.
Why is that funny?
And why is it funny?
Everybody's freaking out.
Russia hacked into our goddamn election.
And goddamn it, we should do something that you can't do, can't hack into somebody's election.
Even though we do it all the time everywhere, we've overthrown governments.
We're trying to overthrow Syria right now.
We overthrew Libya, Afghanistan, Iraq, El Salvador, Honduras.
Where haven't we fucking overthrown a government?
The whole point is there's no proof that Russia did anything yet.
This is just the CIA saying shit without showing anybody any evidence.
And if you know anything about anything, which we do, we know the CIA are fucking liars.
The point of this clip is that regime change.
Oh my God, the CIA protesting.
Yes.
Well, we've played this audio tape on the show before, but this was Hillary Clinton talking about they had elections in Palestine.
It didn't turn out the way America wanted them to turn out.
And here's what Hillary Clinton had to say about that.
I do not think we should have pushed for an election in the Palestinian territory.
She says, I don't think we should have pushed for an election in the Palestinian territory.
I don't think too much democracy really gets messy.
I think that was a baby's face.
That was a big mistake to push for an election.
If we were at a push for an election, then we should have made sure that we did something to determine who is going to win.
And if we were going to push for an election, then we should have did something to help us determine who was going to win.
Ooh.
Are you sure that's about Palestine?
And that's something.
Let's listen to it again.
Let me play it uninterrupted.
I do not think we should have pushed for an election in the Palestinian territories.
I think that was a baby's face.
And if we were at a push for an election, then we should have made sure that we did something to determine who is going to win.
Then we should have did something to determine who was going to win.
So all these people trying to moralize over, oh my God, it's just, it's the way business is done.
And we've been doing this kind of business all the time, all over the place, always.
Come on.
That's what America does.
We invade foreign countries.
We steal their natural resources and we give it to a corporation.
Look at the banana wars.
Read General Smedley Butler's War is a racket.
And now it's mostly for fossil fuels.
So again, when somebody in government tries to act upset that this one, oh my God, we're doing the same shit all the time.
It's different when they do it to us.
It's just, that's not appropriate.
Christopher Hayes, I like that he goes by Christopher, don't you?
Christopher Hayes, Christopher Six Grand Suit Hayes.
I don't know why I came up with that.
He wears $6,000 suits.
I just made that up.
You haven't seen a receipt?
I haven't seen a receipt.
I'm just saying they're nice.
They're nice suits.
And I'm going to bet any money they're bespoked.
Bespoked?
Yeah, do you know what a bespoked suit is?
Does that mean six grand?
This is, They're a lot.
They're like at least five or six grand.
Bespoked.
Anyway, that's not the point of this.
So he says this.
He says a reminder to take every claim made by unnamed U.S. officials about intelligence conclusions with healthy skepticism.
And what I say about that is the fact that Christopher Hayes has to tweet that out to other journalists, especially at MSNBC, is another one of the signs that the end times are near.
You have to remind journalists to be skeptical, the fucking unnamed sources from the government.
How much more could I lead over?
Literally had to tell people to do that.
It's his job to present the healthy skepticism.
Thank you, Christopher.
I like that he calls himself Christopher, even though it's Chris Hayes.
Anyway, why does he say that?
Why does he and why do we remind people?
Because I don't know, because the CIA is a bunch of fucking liars.
That's what they're professional at.
That's what they're good at.
Okay.
It's amazing because it sheds light on the fact that we as Americans have this level of naivete.
That if the government says it, that's it.
You know what I mean?
The CIA said.
Yes.
Yeah.
CIA liars.
Yes.
And as a population, we still have this illusion that our government is this good thing, this good group of people that are looking out for us and that are telling us the truth and are thinking about our best interest.
Well, it's not only the CIA, it's unnamed sources at the CIA.
Yes.
Unnamed.
Okay, just that's that.
That's the even worst part.
Glenn Greenwell put these together.
Senate report on CIA torture claimed spy agency lied about ineffective prohibitions to the Senate says the CIA is a bunch of liars in their report about torture.
Let's see what else.
Oh, Senators Grill spy chiefs accused them of lying again.
Let's see.
Senate warns CIA against lying about civilians killed in drone strikes.
Here's another one.
Iran Contra Witness tells how CIA lied.
Fire James Clapper, the director of national intelligence, lied to Congress about NSA surveillance.
What else did he lie about?
What else will he lie about?
Remember that I talked about that another clip.
That guy lied right to Congress about spying that they were doing on Americans.
And then the Congress asked him about it and he lied to them.
I don't know if you know, you're supposed to go to jail for that.
You don't go to jail when you lie on the behalf of the establishment.
So he was protecting illegal do illegal doing illegal doers.
Reportedly, though, he did when he took the oath.
He did have his fingers crossed.
He did have his fingers crossed.
So what he did is they're doing unconstitutional spying on Americans.
And so then he lied to Congress about the unconstitutional spying they're doing.
And everybody said, okay, that's okay.
Fingers crossed.
That's okay.
Fingers crossed.
Oh, here's another one.
Woodward Tenet told Bush WMD case, slam dunk.
Experts doubt North Korea was behind the big Sony attack.
Investigating Donald Trump.
FBI sees no clear link to Russia.
That's from the FBI.
This is from the New York Times.
Threats and responses.
The Iraqis, U.S. says Hussein intensifies quest for A-bomb parts.
So Glenn Greenwell put these together to remind us that the CIA is lying all the time.
Remember, everybody was sure of WMDs going into Iraq.
Everybody on TV was, except for Phil Donahue.
And guess what they did?
They canceled him.
Phil Donahue got the Iraq war right, and they canceled him.
And you never see him on TV ever again.
But guess who they always bring on TV?
Everyone who got the Iraq war wrong.
So this is a great reminder from Glenn Greenwald that the CIA lies all the time.
And Christopher Hayes is reminding us, Christopher.
Christopher Hayes is reminding us to be skeptical of unnamed sources in the government.
Meanwhile, it's this goddamn shitty left, it's that Hillary Clinton left.
And you have to be skeptical of the named sources within the government.
Yes.
Yes.
The qualifier unnamed.
Totally unnecessary.
the named ones.
you you I don't know if you heard, but Scott Bayo got assaulted by the wife of the drummer for Red Hot Chili Peppers.
Scotty Bayo.
She's mad that he supported Trump and she was screaming about grab her by the pussy.
Grab her by Green.
And then she grabbed him underneath his armpits, is what the story says, and shook him and was screaming at him.
And she's really mad about the election.
And I just thought the thing that, first of all, he's pressing charges.
Second of all, don't do that to people you disagree with.
They were at some kind of, they're at a school, like their kids go to the same school.
They're at some like sporting events.
Don't do that.
What do you go write a blog about it?
Go, you know what I mean?
Or go do a YouTube video.
But you can't be screaming at everyone in public that you disagree with, especially someone with no power like Scott Bayo.
But if she's really that upset about the grab her by the pussy thing with Donnie Tynahan's, I just hope she's married to the drummer from the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
My advice to her is don't read his diary because you'll never stop slapping him.
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All right.
We got some.
Well, guess what?
Ricky Bobby Perry's calling in.
Let's get to it.
Let's get to it.
Hello, this is Jimmy.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Who is this?
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Who is this?
Oh, hold on.
The snare or the symbols are coming in.
I don't count.
Okay, hold up.
What's up?
Hey, it's me, Rick Perry.
Oh.
Oh, I'm wrong about that.
Sorry.
It's Secretary of Energy, Rick Rock Perry, motherfucker.
Oh, my God.
Yo, hi, Governor.
How are you?
Fucking great, Jimmy.
I don't know if you heard, but I'm going to be Secretary of Energy.
I did hear that, Governor.
So if you're feeling sluggish and you're like, man, I could use some energy.
You just call me and I'll be like, let me secretary that issue for you.
Well, congratulations, Governor.
You know, I'm a little concerned, though, because this is one of the departments you said you were going to Gut when you ran for president in 2012.
Correction, Jimmy.
I forgot that this was one of the departments I wanted to eliminate.
And then I was like, oops.
But in my head, I was like, oh, no, I'm not going to be president.
Well, speaking for half the country, I thought your vow to destroy regulation was much worse than your forgetfulness.
I don't know what the big deal is.
It's like they make energy and then you buy it.
I don't see why the government has to stick its big penis in every time you buy something.
I mean, you buy shoes too, but it's not like we have a department of shoes.
Well, we sort of do.
It's called the Department of Commerce, Rick.
Oh, my God.
Is that what that is?
Because I wonder if they can get Forsheim to reissue those shoes I like.
They're like super comfy and they go with everything.
But then I went to the Forsheim store at the mall to buy new ones.
And the kid there was like, we don't make those anymore.
And I was like, why would you start making the greatest shoes ever?
And I was like, and that kid, he was like, I don't know.
That's the end of that story.
Okay.
Who's going to be Secretary of Shoes now?
Secretary of Commerce.
It's a guy named Tom Ricketts.
Oh, I know that guy.
I don't like him.
Why?
He knows what he did.
You know, Governor, the Department of Energy is a pretty complicated thing.
It's not just electricity.
For instance, you know, you'll be responsible for all the nuclear materials in the country.
What?
Like all of them?
Yeah.
From every Minuteman missile right down to every x-ray machine.
The Koch brothers never told me that.
All they said was like, the man is keeping us down with all their crazy rules.
Governor, those rules, as burdensome as they may be, exist for a reason.
I mean, climate change alone.
Oh, I don't believe in that.
People are like, the earth is getting warmer.
I'm like, girlfriend, I live in Texas.
Okay.
It's not going to get warmer than this shit.
You're about to run a department that's largely based in science and you don't believe in science.
Jimmy, I get confused.
Is science the thing with John Travolta and Kirsty Alley?
That's Scientology, Rick.
Science is the thing that brought you literally every modern convenience you have and tells us pollution is causing global warming.
Well, I don't believe in that either.
I mean, scientists say dumb things like being gay isn't a choice, which is total bull poop because if it wasn't a choice, I'd be so friggin' gay all the time, Jimmy.
But instead, I wake up every day and I say, Rick, you're not going to be gay today.
In those days, it totally works out that way.
Governor, even if the Department of Energy only regulated electricity, I mean, you understand that electricity is a utility because even a relatively small problem in that industry could have catastrophic effects on the whole economy.
Just look at the Enron price gouging in 2000.
Jimmy, I don't even know what you're talking about.
It sounds like blah, blah, blah.
I'm smarter than you, blah, blah, blah.
Governor, I'm begging you, if you take this job, remember your obligation to the environment and to consumers.
Well, as near as I can tell, that's not what this job is about.
But I'll keep that in mind, Captain Einstein.
Please.
Jimmy, I got ahead.
I got to clear a lot of shit off my browser history before my Senate hearings.
Ah, fuck it.
I should probably just light my computer on fire.
Sounds great, Governor.
Ro, where's my gas can?
No, the good one I use for special occasions.
Thank you.
you you you So guess what?
We all know what's been happening with the Trump, and we all know that the reason Hillary Clinton lost had nothing to do with her being a bad candidate or the Democrats' message, that that's fine.
So Eric Beiler, the Young Turks reporter, was at a Fight for 15 rally a week or so ago, and he interviewed a young man who was working at a Waffle House, and he has a very thick accent.
The knowledge and insight this guy lays down is unexpected.
So I'm going to play some of it for you right here, and I think it will hopefully get rid of some of those preconceived notions we have about Trump voters and blue-collar workers in general.
So let's play.
I've not got any degree whatsoever.
I'm just damn white trash heelbilly from the holler.
You know, I don't need a degree for my words to mean something.
I come from coal country.
My grandfather was a coal miner, actually.
All my grandfathers and most of my great-grandfather were coal miners.
You know, my great uncles, cousins of mine were all coal miners.
The coal industry's been dying for a long, long time through mechanization of labor and through good things like more affordable green energy.
But another thing that's really been causing death of it is natural gas, hydraulic fracturing.
There's another argument that's typically made, and it usually does pretty well with voters, and that is that the changes that you talked about, globalism and mechanization and that sort of thing, also coincided with our country becoming more diverse.
And a lot of people blame immigrants and blame people who are different from us for causing the problems that we have.
Ain't no damn immigrant stole a coal job.
I'll tell you that right now.
You know, and really, even if they did, would you really be blaming the immigrants, the people that hired them?
The people that are, because the only reason they would hire an immigrant over an American citizen is if it benefits their wallets.
You know, these people that, you know, they're not paying payroll tax on these people that they're paying below minimum wage, things like that.
Really, can you really put the blame on the immigrants in the first place, you know?
No.
No, you can't.
Because guess what immigrants are?
Human beings who want a life just like you.
That's why they come here.
They don't come here to dick us over.
They come here because where they live sucks so hard that they want to come to the land of opportunity.
It's the greatest compliment in the world that immigrants want to come here.
We now have less mobility, by the way, economically in our country than they have in Europe.
Just so you know, we're not that place anymore.
Why?
Neoliberalism?
How about horrible corporate policies since Bill Clinton that have hollowed out the middle class?
Our number one non-governmental employee in the United States is Walmart, who tells their employees, they tell them how to go on government assistance.
Our number one employer in America pays poverty wages while they're making billions and billions of dollars.
And you wonder what's wrong with our country?
This guy's laying it down.
He knows it's not the immigrants ain't screwing us over.
It's the guy who's hiring the immigrant.
Why does he want to hire an immigrant?
Because he wants to exploit somebody.
He got it.
He's got it.
Well, no, I'm curious.
I don't want to jump too far ahead, but I'm curious to know where this guy is politically because you've hinted at it.
Oh, that's what?
yeah, yeah.
Let's find that out.
That's always been the disconnect between this whole immigration policy about stealing your job.
The immigrants don't have decision-making power.
The guy who writes the checks who makes more money when they write smaller checks.
They're the people that deserve your anger.
Correct.
It's just insane.
Yes, it's a misdirected anger.
Yeah.
I think it's because they're like, well, I would also screw people over if I had the boss's job.
I think they can relate to that or there's a logical gap that's not.
I think they're manipulated into being angry at some.
That's what I have always say.
Whenever you find yourself being angry at someone lower on the economic ladder than you, pretty good chance you're being manipulated by someone higher.
I quote that all the time.
I have it stitched on a pillow, actually.
Oh, the one he sleeps on.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Waited by Donald Trump's offer to rebuild, you know, put all the coal plants back in business?
Oh, hell no.
I know a lot of people that vote for him just because of that.
I mean, if you were to ask anybody in Dickinson County three, four years ago, what do you think Donald Trump?
And they'd say, well, he's a Brandon jackass Yankee who probably should have had his ass whooped a long time ago, to be blunt.
But, you know, really, he has said so many times, we'll bring back every coal job, 100% of cold jobs.
That's what he said.
And these people are desperate to believe in something.
So there you go.
So when you call them a basket of deplorables while offering them nothing, you wonder why you lost the election in the Rust Belt.
You wonder why working people seem, you wonder why half the country doesn't even bother to vote.
That's pretty amazing what he just said.
He admitted that the people who live there and southerners like him saw right through Donald Trump that for three, he said three years ago, we think he's a Yankee jackass who runs his mouth.
He's a carpetbagger.
Should have gotten his ass whooped a long time.
Should have got his ass whooped.
That was a really good descriptor.
I mean, he nailed it, man.
Like, that was poetry.
Should have got his ass whooped a long time ago.
Let's be blunt.
Yes.
Except he promised to give them their jobs back.
And he said, and they know he's full of shit, but that's how desperate they are for something.
Hillary Clinton came back and said, we're going to take your jobs away.
He said, we're going to give him a job.
It's that whole thing with you're too young to know this, but Ronald Reagan and Walter Mondale.
Walter Mondale says, I'm going to raise your taxes.
Ronald Reagan says, I'm not going to raise your taxes.
Who the fuck do you think they voted for?
The guy who lied.
The guy who lied.
And sounded so great doing it.
There's more to this right here.
What's the guy's name?
Nick Smith?
Nick Smith.
Nick Smith.
And I see.
It's this misconception, y'all, especially with y'all in the liberal media.
No offense, young Turks, you know, but now liberal media that, you know, this 90% of people are just, you know, ignorant about climate change, ignorant about the effects of mountaintop removal and all the health facts.
Because keep in mind, we're the ones getting cancer from the coal mine practices, not y'all.
So we can kind of speak on that matter.
No, what is 10% really are these anti-environment people?
You know, 10% are just completely anti-culture.
There's that 80% that here it is.
They're struggling day to day.
They, you know, the only industry they've got there is coal, and they're trying to hold on to what little bit there is, and they really don't care what it takes, you know, to keep that industry there or bring it back.
You know, I'm educated.
I know better that Cole's not coming back.
It's amazing the knowledge that this guy is laying down.
What you all think, meaning us in the liberal media, people on the left, what they think of people like him who work in coal mines and what have you, it's that, you know, we're all just, we don't all give a crap and we don't care about the effects of mountaintop removal, you know, all the bad stuff that happens because of that.
And he says, we're the ones who feel the effects of it.
We're the ones who get cancer.
But that's how desperate we are.
We have nothing else.
So that's what he's saying.
They have nothing else.
Trump is proposing a trillion-dollar infrastructure program.
Maybe those guys will get some of those jobs.
Remember how Barack Obama kept hammering on a jobs program?
Every time he opened his mouth, he was hammering that jobs program.
I don't remember him doing that once.
Do you remember him doing that?
No.
Do you remember how he hammered that for eight years and how he made the Republicans pay the price for obstructing his push for a jobs program?
Do you remember that?
No, he didn't push for a jobs program.
He didn't make the fucking Republicans pay the price for obstructing him.
That's what people love to say.
You know, he had an obstructionist Congress for six years out of the eight.
Okay, so he had two years to do stuff.
He didn't do it.
He did a smaller stimulus than he ever should have did.
He never bailed out Main Street.
He did bail out Wall Street.
And he gave us Mitt Romney's Romney care when he had a filibuster-proof fucking majority.
Jimmy, something else I want to point out here is notice where this guy's at.
He is at a fight for 15.
Fight for 15.
Rally.
Because a lot of people, especially like a lot of Clinton supporters, will say, well, you know, it doesn't seem a big deal now fighting for 15 versus using the cost of living in it.
No, it was a big deal to voters like that, especially voters in Swing State that she needed.
It was a big deal because the fight for 15 was saying the loudest that, hey, wages have not kept up with inflation at all at all.
In fact, 15 itself is actually too low.
So that's what that was symbolic of.
And that was the message that the Democrats need to have.
Those people know $15 is too low.
And Hillary Clinton, they're like, we're going to have to fight Hillary Clinton to fight for 15.
We have to fight her too.
And what a horrible message, especially at this time when you live in, again, I know I sound like a broken record, but we live in the richest country the face of the earth has ever seen.
And half of our country is poor.
What does that say about our system?
That says our fucking system is broken.
And Hillary Clinton never acknowledged that.
She's like, everything's working great.
Just incremental change.
And you wonder why half the country didn't come out and vote.
And the other half didn't vote for you.
They needed that message.
And now, I mean, unfortunately, they bought snake oil now.
Now there's someone in charge of labor that doesn't even favor a minimum wage.
So but that message was not across.
That's why I think it's really poignant to point out where that guy is at.
This is in Virginia, by the way.
She led the fight for 12.
The real strong fight for, okay, fine, 12.
We could probably get 11, 1125 if we compromise down from 12.
The costs of your biggest might go up.
McDonald's in an off year makes over a billion dollars in profit.
In an off year, they make over a billion.
McDonald's, they can afford, you know, like I say, in Seattle, they passed a $15 minimum wage.
Did you remember how they closed up all those fast food restaurants right away afterwards?
Because you can't afford it.
Oh, none of them closed?
You mean they all stayed open and everybody's still making a great living?
All over Europe and Australia, fast food workers are paid a lot of money or a livable wage at least.
$20 in Denmark.
We did that story also in Australia.
Australia has the government set the wages.
Denmark has strong unions.
In America, we have neither of those things.
We have no unions.
We have a corporate media that is anti-union.
Do you see how MSNBC, though, was wall-to-wall coverage on the fight for 15?
MSNBC is a fucking garbage dumpster fire.
Okay.
The fact that they call them, they try to call themselves progressive or a left or a liber, this bullshit.
It's only left because this country is out of its mind.
That's why.
They're so lefty.
Anyway.
Well, let's not forget the reason a minimum wage exists, though, is so that high school kids can have a little extra spending money.
Oh, wait, no, it's so that people can afford to live when they work an honest job.
I'm sorry, got confused.
Dickinson County, Virginia has, you know, over 25% poverty rate.
Average incomes are under 20,000 a year.
You know, people are reliant on all kinds of public assistance, and the schools are failing.
They're consolidating.
Schools are shutting down.
And we need, we need $15.
We need a union.
The only thing that these companies care about is the dollar.
They don't care about us.
They have never cared about us workers.
Not once.
The only way that we get what we want is we resist hard enough that it's better for their interest to work with us than keep working against us.
Direct action.
That basically sums up all persuasion.
That's it.
Make it so that it's easier for them.
It's less painful for them to work with us than to work against us.
We had to put a hurt on them.
He's not saying they're going to do the right thing.
We're going to talk them into being decent people.
He's saying we need to make it so that their interests align with ours.
Power concedes nothing without a demand.
Isn't that the saying?
That's my other pillow.
I don't read that one.
That's the underneath pillow.
And that's, you know, that's bringing he's so again.
So things had to get bad enough in America to where people started to go back to unions, direct action, civil disobedience, rallies, marches.
And, you know, they say that the cost, I don't know who said this.
I think it was Benjamin Franklin, but the price of liberty is eternal vigilance.
You know, that goes for the entire government, not just for tyranny of a government, but tyranny of an economic system, which is implemented, which is also in collusion with a government.
And so now I think people are awake, right?
So now you can't blame lefty liberals.
You can't blame any of that stuff because now they have control of all of it.
And so if used correctly, this could be a real reawakening of the left.
It already is.
You go to Democratic meetings.
Mark Van Landuit is a big activist, and he's talked about this on the premium with me about how he goes to these Democratic Party meetings and all these activists and meetings.
And he said they're packed.
There are more people than has ever shown up.
If you would have gone there a couple years ago, there'd be a handful of people, and now you can't get in the room.
And he's being told by all kinds of lefty organizers that Trump is the greatest recruitment tool that they've ever had.
So now people are awake to the horrible things.
Oh my God, we're going to have Wall Street run our Treasury Department like it always has.
Yeah, but now it really makes me mad because Trump's doing it.
Now they're too stupid to hide it.
Yeah.
It's like they're so flagrant.
Our foreign policy is going to be run by Exxon, the CEO of Exxon directly?
Yeah, they're too dumb to hide it, right?
So it's just in a sense, it's great.
Now it's obvious.
Again, the ugly face of horrible things.
Our foreign policy has always been done at the behest of Exxon and oil companies.
Now they just put the CEO of Exxon and the goddamn fucking secretary.
So my theory of Donnie Tynahan's putting an ugly face on the stuff that we've always done is real.
It happened.
It's happening.
It's happened.
And the fact that people are coming together to oppose it, it's already happened.
Hillary supporters and Bernie supporters came together in those protests.
So this can work, but the corporate Democrats are going to fight progress tooth and nail.
They still aren't listening to that guy.
They're going to talk about Russia, I don't know, until the inauguration, maybe.
What a disservice MSNBC is doing to the country by doing that.
Like, yeah, because now we really need an agenda.
And I think the Democrats should be watching that guy and going, this is our agenda.
Because let's look at it from a historical perspective.
With exception to the Bush years, the last time Republicans had this stronghold was 1928.
And then what did we see after that?
Well, the Great Depression immediately after.
But then after that, we saw a huge rise in labor.
That's going to happen again.
And I mean, labor in the principle aspect, right?
It's not going to be like literal because we do live in a different society now, but labor and the fact that we got to get back to the working class.
We got to get back to the organization.
We got to get back to what that guy's saying, stronger unions, stronger human rights.
And if that's not the Democratic platform, they are dead in the wild.
They couldn't even come out against the TPP in the Democratic platform.
They couldn't even say what they wanted to do to fight climate change on the Democratic platform.
The corporate Democrats have got to go.
And if they don't go, that's who people should be angry at.
But again, we know the knuckleheads on the left will reserve the most of their anger for people with no money and no power, like Jill Stein or people like me advocating true progressive reform or Bernie Sanders.
They're still smearing Bernie.
They're still writing articles smearing Bernie, still writing articles smearing Bernie Sanders and Bernie Sanders supporters.
Still, that's still being done today in lefty news mags.
Well, he's like Ralph Nader, though.
I mean, don't you remember in 2000 when Ralph Nader endorsed Del Gore and campaigned for him?
I remember that.
Remember that?
We've seen corporate growth actually go up in this country.
Yeah, wages are stagnant.
You know, cost of living is going up.
That money's being created.
Where is it?
It's an embolism, like a blood clot.
You know what I'm saying?
In your body, you know, it's all folks in one area and it's rotten.
That's what it is.
That top 1% is holding that wealth.
You know, you need to redistribute it among the people who can spend it in the economy.
You know, the wealthiest people, they can save it.
They can do whatever the hell they want.
They can send it off seas.
But, you know, if you're making, if you're even making $15 an hour, what are you doing?
You're spending it.
You're forced to spend it.
You don't have really any other choice.
That's what stimulates the economies.
The guy understands Keynesian economics.
Look at that, laying it down.
Yeah, that money's that wealth is being created.
Where is it?
Oh, it's like an embolism.
It's all blocked up.
It's corroding the heart of America.
It's blocking it.
And, you know, I said on this show before, I'll say it again.
I don't know where this originally came from.
Money is a lot like shit.
You pile it up and it stinks.
You spread it around, make stuff grow.
And that's what that guy understands.
He understands, you know, people who make $15 an hour, we can't send our money offshore because that's what rich people do.
They hide their money and it sits there and it stagnates the economy.
As Gordon Gecko told us, that the more money you put in the pockets of working people, that increases the velocity of money, meaning that more money circulates in the economy, meaning it's a more vibrant economy for everybody and more money gets passed around.
When rich people have most of the money, which is what happens now, it sits there and it stagnates the economy.
Millionaires can only buy so many cars, only so many pairs of jeans a year, so many things.
But if 10,000 workers buy 10,000 cars, that's what really stimulates the economy.
That guy understands it.
The people who don't understand it or don't give a shit about it are the people in control of our government.
The people who didn't do a stimulus for the working people, didn't do an infrastructure spending so we could have people like that with money in his pocket.
But Jimmy trickled down economics.
They'll make Jobs for everybody.
So that's the weird part, right?
That we've already been through this once, and we already have a template how to handle it.
It was called the New Deal, and it was called Put Money in the Pockets of Working People.
And that's what's called the demand economy.
So then people have money in their pockets to buy stuff.
Then people go out and create stuff that they can buy.
So that's how you stimulate the, you don't put a bunch of money in the pocket of an already rich guy, and then somehow he'll have so much money that he'll start spending it.
That's not how it works.
We're living in the result of that kind of thinking.
And the result of that kind of thinking is half of America lives in poverty or poor.
That is what we're left with.
Even the word they went with, trickle down.
If you just break that up, trickle, that means you don't get everything.
You don't get much.
You get little pictures.
Yeah, they cut a few scrap scraps off the table.
I mean, but down also includes a kind of a vector, meaning like they're above you.
It maintains the class structure, that kind of stuff.
And that's their brilliant term.
That's their Luncian.
I don't know if Frank Lynn was around in the 80s.
We could rename it.
Chewed Remains Economics.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
Visa, may I have another trickle?
Right, right.
That's all it is.
Of your overwealth.
And that they convinced people at the lower end to fight for this to say, yeah, I deserve my trickle.
Can I get the living wait?
They didn't fool that freaking guy.
I got to check my Cayman Islands account.
I got like 20 bucks in one of them.
The guy understands it.
That money's being created.
Where's it going?
So those people know.
So when the Clinton campaign thought they could bullshit all those people, try to get those people to vote for them after you already passed NAFTA in the middle of you trying to pass the TPP, in the middle of you giving bank bailouts with no bailouts for what they know.
that guy knows people know.
*Bell rings*
Hello?
Senator Sanders?
Oh, hi, Jimmy.
How's tricks?
Oh, you know.
Ah, good to hear.
Good to hear.
Where are you right now?
I'm where I live, Pasadena, California.
Okay, I see.
Is that where you intend to wait out Trump again?
Well, I don't really have a choice.
I suppose not, yeah.
Well, I'll tell you what, if all your water runs out because Trump requires his giant harem of Eastern European models to be on an almond-only diet for the next four years for aesthetic starvation purposes, I'll FedEx you some Gatorade.
Thanks, Bernie.
Appreciate it, buddy.
Where are you?
Well, I also am at home.
I'm at home as well in Vermont, which by complete coincidence is perfectly suited to wait out this four-year, and I expect no more than four, by the way.
Travesty of democracy.
We have mountains to hide in and pot to smoke while hiding.
Sounds like a good deal.
How are you dealing with all this on a personal level?
Excellent, Jimmy.
I'm glad you asked.
Really?
Yes, no kidding.
Now that I'm out of the game and satisfied that I did all I could to prevent this giant era in our nation's history, I'm content to sit back and simply talk shit in a manner befitting someone who has the voice that I happen to have.
I hear you.
Hey, and here at the Jimmy Door show, we're here doing the best comedy we can possibly do, given the circumstances.
How?
How is that even possible?
I mean, the whole thing's already a shit show.
It's a clown circus.
What do you think of his cabinet picks so far?
What do you think I think of them?
Is he trying to make America great again or make the Death Star fully operational?
Look at these assholes.
You and I both know there's a lot more to that Bernie Sanders phone call, but we don't have time in today's podcast.
How do you hear the whole thing?
You get the premium.
It's a great way to help support the show.
You know, we don't do a patron or anything like that.
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And we give you lots of extra podcasts, you know.
And it's a different format.
A lot of people enjoy it.
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Plus, we include this comedy sketches like the Bernie Sanders phone call.
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It's a big help.
Thanks for supporting the show.
Thanks to our guests for being on the show this week.
Ron Placone, Dave Reinitz, Robert Yasimura.
Well, he was riding the show.
Today's show is written by Robert Yasimura, Jim Earl, Mike McCrae, Steph Samurano, and Mark Van Landuit.
That's right.
And all the voices today performed by the one and the only, the inimitable Mike McRae, who can be found at mikemcray.com.
We'll see you the day after Christmas at the live Jimmy Door show at Flappers Comedy Club in Burbank.
Go to jimmydoorcomedy.com for a link for tickets.
Until then, or until next week, this is Jimmy Dorst saying you be the best you can be, and I'll keep being me.
Don't freak out.
Do not freak.
Do not freak out.
Don't bring out.
Don't bring up.
Don't don't bring out.
Don't bring up.
Don't, don't, don't, don't touch the fuck up.
Don't freak out.
Don't freak out.
I'm not kidding.
Don't don't bring out.
Don't you don't move around.
Do not freak out.
Don't freak out.
Do not do not and do not freak out.
Do not freak out.
I'm not kidding.
Not freak out.
Not freak out.
Don't bring out.
Don't freak out.
Do not freak out.
Don't bring out.
Don't don't bring out.
Don't freak out.
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