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Dec. 10, 2016 - Jimmy Dore Show
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20161210_The_Jimmy_Dore_Show_12-9-16
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Today's show is brought to us by Harry's.com.
For $5 off your first order, go to Harry's.com and use the promo code Jimmy.
Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program.
The Jimmy Dore Show!
The Jimmy Dore Show!
Freaking what?
Congressman King, it's Jimmy Dore.
Oh, Jimmy, thank God.
Did you just say gods like with an S?
Oh, yeah.
You know, when the Orange Yachtsman got friggin' elected, I realized a Christian god must not exist.
This could only be the work of the capricious pantheon of gods of the ancient world.
Probably Zeus there begged some broad disguise to the rock or something, and that's how you get Trump.
And that is why I now worship the sun god Apollo and to a lesser degree, several household gods.
Okay.
Praise Apollo.
Praise him.
And why are you so thankful it's me calling?
Goddamn Privus has been calling trying to offer me some freaking job.
Yeah, I heard about that.
They want you to be Homeland Security Advisor.
Yeah, here's my Homeland Security advice.
Elect not an idiot.
So you're not taking a job in this administration?
No, Jimmy.
I'm going to get in the clown car filled with pedophiles.
Okay, well, that's good.
I could do plenty of damage in Congress all by myself, thank you.
But you voted for Trump.
I'm a man, Jimmy.
So no, I didn't vote for some broad with her vagina and everything.
Guess what else I don't do?
Hug or play acoustic guitar or braid my pubic heads.
Okay, I get it.
I also don't tell my children I love them.
You're a fucking moron.
This handle of Bushmills is dead.
And cracking another one.
Long live the handle of Bushmills.
How long does it take you to get through a handle of whiskey?
Well, let's see.
Some back of the envelope calculation said half a day.
Oh my God, Congressman.
That's three and a half liters of whiskey a day.
Yeah, how about you don't go all homometric on me there, Mary?
Congressman, don't you think you have a drinking problem?
I sure friggin hope so.
Otherwise, I got all this face bloke for no reason.
So what do you think about Dr. Ben Carson getting an appointment?
Well, you gotta give Carson a job.
He's Trump's only black friend.
But how do you think he'll do as Secretary of Housing and Urban Development?
Let me put it this way, Jimmy.
Get ready for houses and urbans to go undeveloped.
Do you like any of the candidates for cabinet positions?
Well, I like Jeff Sessions for AG there.
Really?
Why?
You kidding me?
The racist southern sheriff as top lawman in the country?
I'd be afraid to park my car in a loading zone lest Sessions shows up and is like, well, I guess you're getting lynched.
Now, what about General Flynn as national security advisor?
I mean, you're a security expert, so what do you think about him?
God, he'd be a great choice.
If the biggest national security threat will lizard people.
But if you're worried about, I don't know, actual friggin' stuff, maybe you don't appoint the guy who's afraid of chemtrails over there.
I'm just saying, Jimmy, maybe a white nationalist isn't the best choice to protect our country for terror attacks where the majority of domestic terrorism comes from white nationalists.
You know, I would agree, but will you oppose him?
Jimmy, I gotta go.
I got a fundraiser, digger.
My wife has a new thing where she hides my pants so I can't go out.
You know how it is.
Okay.
Okay, well, great.
Great to talk to you, Peter.
Yeah.
Rose, where are my goddamn pants?
No, I'm not going to see a girl.
I just really need my freaking pants.
I swear to God, woman.
I swear to God, woman.
It's the Jimmy Dore Show.
The show for...
The kind of people that are...
Co-bench maybe on "Tear Down Our Nation." It's hard to talk to you today.
And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore!
Hey, everybody.
Welcome to this week's Jimmy Dore show.
I'm joined by a lot of people.
Hag Thompson, Steph Sabarado.
Rod Placone is here.
Hello.
Chelsea 2020.
Yes.
Now let's get to the jokes before we get to the joke, Shall.
Hey, did you hear a massive 7.8 earthquake hit the Solomon Islands?
Oh, no.
Yeah.
That's in the Pacific, the South Pacific Ocean.
Scientists are hoping the resulting tsunami will wipe us out just in time for Inauguration Day.
That's one solution.
Hey, Donald Trump chose fast food CEO Andrew Pudzer, or do you say Pudzer?
As labor secretary, Pudzder is against a minimum wage hike and ultimately wants to replace all fast food workers with robots who will more efficiently spit in your hamburger.
I'm reporting him to Carl Sr.
There's a popular guy at the party.
Yeah.
He believes that a $15 minimum wage will, quote, hurt workers because it may actually give them hope and hope just isn't profitable.
In the wake of a Washington Post investigation revealing the military buried evidence of over $125 billion in bureaucratic waste, Donald Trump announced plans to cut costs by remodeling the Pentagon into a triangle.
Got some good news and bad news.
Bad news, U.S. firms are going to build fighter jets in India.
Oh.
Good news.
Whenever something goes wrong, they'll have to call customer service in America.
And they'll lie.
You know, I'm fully confident that Donald Trump can fulfill his claim of creating twice as many call center jobs as Barack Obama probably did this quick.
That's not a funny joke.
The Pope said this week that spreading fake news is a sin, and then he then read from a book of fairy tales.
Nice.
You know, I've often said if Ivanka weren't Donald Trump's daughter, perhaps I'd be dating her.
All right, what's coming up on today's show?
We're going to take a look at the criminal sheriff up in North Dakota.
Hey, just how much money does the Pentagon waste?
The answer just may surprise you.
It will.
It will.
Plus, we got phone calls from Jeb Bush coming up.
Bernie Sanders calls in, and we take a look at some oil spills happening already in North Dakota, plus a lot lot more.
Hey, reminder, December 26th, we're doing a live Jimmy Doer show.
That's right.
The day after Christmas, that's December 26th.
It's a Monday, 8 p.m. show.
We're doing a live Jimmy Door show.
You go, wow, that's a weird time to do a show.
It's the perfect time to do a show because believe me, on December 26th, everyone is already sick of their family.
We did it last year.
It was a great time.
So come on out this day after Christmas.
It's a Monday, 8 p.m., Burbank, California, Flappers Comedy Club.
There's a link for tickets over at JimmyDoorComedy.com.
We'll see you Monday, December 26th.
That's the day after Christmas for a live Jimmy Door show.
See you there.
See you there.
So now, if you know what's happening in North Dakota, you know that Energy Transfer Partners is putting some of the dirtiest oil, trying to put it underneath the Missouri River, which is probably going to leak.
And why do I say it's probably going to leak?
Because they leak all the time.
Oil pipelines leak all the time.
In fact, guess what?
From the Duluth News Tribune, this is from December 6th.
It says Western North Dakota oil pipeline shut down after a spill.
That's right there, December 60.
That's right there.
What happened?
Well, the Duluth News Tribune says a crude oil pipeline in western North Dakota has been shut down following a leak that spilled oil into a creek.
State of Feastles reported Tuesday.
Now, when it says creek, when I see creek, when I think creek, I think something like a foot wide, I'm going to guess that's a much bigger creek.
What constitutes a creek to a river, right?
A creek?
Sounds like nothing.
But if it's nothing, why would they report it?
The leak that prompted the shutdown was discovered in a six-inch pipeline operated by Bell Forge Pipeline Company, the North Dakota Department of Health, said.
An undetermined amount of crude oil was spilled.
Undetermined.
They don't even give you, they don't even ballpark you.
They don't go anywhere from one gallon to a million gallons or 10,000 barrels or one barrel.
They don't even give you, isn't that?
So here's a little bit more to the story.
A series of booms have been placed across the creek to prevent downstream migration, and a siphon dam has been constructed four miles downstream.
So they're going to let the oil screw up that whole four miles of the river, just oil it all over four miles of river, just get oiled over, and then we're going to have a dam that'll stop it since 2011.
Bell Forge Pipeline Company has had 10 reported spills.
That one company has had 10 spills in five years.
I'm not a math surgeon, but that's two spills per year.
A little bit more.
It's every six months.
They just got to let their hair down a little bit.
Every six months they get a spill and 2.26 million in property damage, according to the U.S. Department of Transportation Pipeline and Hazardous.
But that's the PHMSA.
That's a good one.
That's a nice.
The federal agency has also issued six warning letters to the pipeline company regarding integrity issues and safety procedures.
I wonder why.
We got to tell you this twice a year.
We're going to get angry eventually someday at some point.
I wonder why the natives don't want the pipeline going under their water supply.
I wonder why.
Maybe because they leak all the time.
The Army Corps of Engineers has decided to delay the permits.
They're not granting those permits to go under the lake.
So it's been temporarily stopped.
So it's a temporary win.
It's a temporary win.
So that's why I'm looking at it.
It's a temporary win.
A lot of powerful forces are conspiring.
You know, the veterans, Michael Wood Jr., he was on the show, Wesley Clark Jr., they put together a group of veterans, 4,000 veterans showed up at Standing Rock.
That's amazing.
And so they had raised a million dollars, right, to help all this.
The bank that has their money has put a hold, they won't let them access it.
Are you kidding?
No.
They did eventually, but so now they can.
So Michael's, so Michael Wood, I texted him.
He said they had access to limited funds.
But now they're getting access to their funds again.
So there's lots of crazy stuff like that happening.
I get emails from people saying that we were trying to raise money for medical care for the medics going to Dapple.
The company that has our ambulance gave it away to someone else because they didn't want us to use it, even though it's not theirs to give away.
There's all kinds of corporate fascism happening.
And if you want to see another, they're point men fascist with the gun.
So this is the sheriff, Paul D. Laney.
If you don't know what's been happening up there, the cops are the ones who are criminals up in North Dakota defending corporate criminals, right?
So that's this is the world we live in.
And of course, we have corporate-owned government, so they don't do anything.
And in fact, the corporate-owned government is the one out there doing the violence.
And Barack Obama turns a blind eye and a blind ear and a deaf ear, and so does Elizabeth.
Well, Elizabeth Warren came out and said something the other day.
Here's the sheriff, and here's what he said.
We have received very concerning intel that an element within the protest movement wants to exploit veterans with PTSD, arm them, and try to trigger their PTSD and turn them aggressive.
Besides being horrible and wrong, it could be dangerous and deadly.
So always be wary of double-chinned guys with a centimeter of hair on top of their head.
Why?
Because they're fascists and they're the tools of fascists.
This guy's a criminal.
Okay.
So just so you know, just because he's got he's angry at his hair and what is it about this?
They want to cut as short as possible.
Get the hair off of my head.
That still doesn't mean you're not a criminal and a thug.
And that's who that guy is.
And what they're doing out there to those people are criminal.
What he's doing right now is lying.
What he's doing is setting up a lie so that when they go and brutalize, violently brutalize people who are peaceful.
Now he can point and say, oh, so this idea that somehow they're getting, they're going to bring veterans in who have post-traumatic stress disorder, going to give them guns and then try to freak them out.
And then this is a brilliant.
This is how dumb cops are.
This is the best lie he could come up with.
And he doesn't even need to lie because he knows he's lie.
Again, whenever you lie or commit a criminal act in defense of the system, there's never a price to pay for that.
So just that's just remember that.
That's why Debbie Wasserman Schultz, when she had to resign in disgrace for being corrupt, she didn't go to jail or get even embarrassed.
She got another job with Hillary Clinton.
So when you lie and commit criminal acts on behalf of the establishment, you're fine.
And that's what this guy's doing.
So he's lying at the behests of his fascist overlords, corporations.
This is about as despicable as it gets in law enforcement, that guy right there.
He's about as bad as they come.
He's also setting it up so that he can send in one of his own guys and take a shot.
Yeah, that's all.
But by the way, we know they have a narrative built up right around that.
I mean, an infiltrator.
So the cops would send somebody, pretend that he's, and then that have that guy go nuts.
They do that all the time.
They do it.
They do that all the time.
All the protesters breaking windows.
Yeah, all the time.
They caught cops doing that that occupy Wall Street.
The cops that were agitating, cops that were trying to start violence, were cop.
The people doing that were cops.
So remember, you have to remember cops are criminals.
That's your jumping off point.
It's okay.
It's okay to think that.
So just keep that in mind.
We need them.
You need to have police.
You don't need to have these kind of police.
Well, our police culture has turned into this culture of terrorizing citizens.
Yes.
We live in a police state, in case you haven't noticed.
It used to be that the cops were risking their safety for yours.
They were risking their life to ensure your safety.
Now it's all about my safety, the cops' safety.
I got to make sure I get home at night.
No, that's what I have to do.
You have to make sure I get home safe at night.
That's why you are a cop and you get to have a gun and have all this unbelievable power in our society.
So I get home safely and you might lose your life.
But it's been all, it's all twisted now.
It's all backwards.
Now it's all about cops saying, Barack Obama said it.
They've got to get home to their.
And you know, Jimmy, when I watch this person in charge of his police force, when he says this stuff, you know, I'm horrified.
I'm frightened.
And, you know, this is what the Native Americans have been dealing with forever.
Yes.
Yeah.
These are the guys that the Native Americans have been dealing with forever.
So if you want to know who's the criminal in North Dakota, it's that guy.
It's the sheriff.
Paul D. Laney.
That's your sheriff, Paul D. Laney.
How do you say a criminal?
I say Paul Delaney.
How do you know he's a criminal?
His name is Paul Delaney.
That's how you know.
Gutless, the opposite of courage, the opposite of character, the opposite of integrity, the opposite of standing up for the Constitution and the opposite of protecting your citizens.
It's Paul Delaney.
He's the opposite of all that stuff.
And everyone gets to see right there.
So maybe his kids see this or his wife.
And in their hearts, they know that this guy's a loser.
He's a coward.
He's the opposite of what he claims to be.
He's a brutal maniac.
They know that he likes to be violent within.
He probably beat the shit out of them.
I don't know.
I'm guessing.
So anybody who knows this guy knows what he is.
And this guy knows what he is too.
He's always been this.
This isn't a shock to him that he has no character.
This isn't a shock to him.
He looks in the mirror every day.
He knows what he is.
And look at his creep.
And look at his hubris.
He has no problem making this announcement and he believes in it.
You're going to be convinced.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're just lying to yourself.
So just to sum up, when veterans, when soldiers go over to the Middle East at the behest of oil companies and kill people and actually get PTSD, that's okay.
Six tours, keep going.
But when they come back home and then they want to protest against oil companies, that's when they're dangerous.
That's when there's something wrong.
You know how their brains got messed up fighting at the behest of oil companies.
Now they're too broken to protest against them.
Here's a great way to help support the Jimmy Door show that doesn't cost you any money.
It's next time you decide to buy something at Amazon.com.
If you use our Amazon link, it's a big help.
It doesn't change the way you shop on Amazon and it doesn't cost you any money, but it's a big help to the show.
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So thanks to everybody who uses our Amazon box because it really does help support the show.
Can't stress it enough this holiday season.
If you're going to buy something from Amazon, have some of that money go to a progressive cause like the Jimmy Dore show.
Hey, so Nancy Pelosi has led the House Democrats since 2002.
To endless victories, really.
2002.
She's led them.
You're right.
Endless victories.
She was recently re-elected and is set to be minority leader for life.
She's worth over $45 million, so she's got a natural affinity with regular working people.
To be fair, she's from the Bay Area.
You need that kind of money for a one-bedroom.
Yeah, she's got a one-bedroom.
Okay, so.
The Democratic Party responds to people's demand for change by keeping everything exactly the same.
Good for you, huh?
The Democratic Party has proven that it learns from its mistakes and can repeat them exactly.
Schumer, Chuck Schumer is the leader of the Spanish.
I would actually even say Schumer is shittier than Reed.
I would actually go so far.
I would.
I would also say that Schumer is.
I actually, if you told me Chuck Schumer had died several years ago, I would believe you.
I would totally, because he's such a waste of space.
He is a waste of space.
Chuck Schumer is 66.
Nancy Pelosi, 76.
And they listen to the people once they buy their hearing aids.
Come on.
That's a joke.
Democrats lost 63 seats in 2010.
They were wiped out again in 2014.
And in November, they gave Republicans their biggest majority in 80 years.
No!
So clearly, Democrats are doing something right.
Pelosi said, we know how to win elections.
Too bad.
She must have forgotten some important details this year.
Establishment Democrats resist the Sanders movement of populist struggle in favor of Wall Street and Silicon Valley big money donors.
Who can face daily hurdles that working people can never fully understand?
Pelosi and Schumer fight for the people if those people have a nanny and a summer home.
You know, when Pelosi heard she was reelected, she couldn't wipe that surprise look off her face.
Nancy doesn't get older.
She just gets tighter.
When the bright new lights in the Democratic Party are Wall Street whores like Cory Booker, the Democrats'future is a losing regional party.
So guess what?
So they reelected Nancy Pelosi.
That's what that was all about.
Democrats doubling down on bad ideas.
And guess what?
Nancy Pelosi says, I don't think the Democrats want a new direction.
Oh, my God!
What do you tell Democrats who want a new direction?
Go to you.
What are you going to do differently?
Well, I don't think that people want a new direction.
Our values unify us.
She really, yeah.
She's really responding.
Keep doing this.
She lost 69 freaking seats.
They've lost.
They lost state houses across the country.
They're wiped out.
They just lost to Donny Tynahan's.
They lost to Senate.
They lost to Hop.
I don't, I think everything's good.
Hey, Captain of the Titanic, should we start bailing water?
I don't think it's bad.
I think we just rearranged some of the chairs up here.
I think everybody will be happy.
What have these people done?
got to lose anymore I don't understand like they've got nothing to lose Robert getting reelected that's it that is it and by the way no one should want to get reelected I don't understand like if if every congressman senator said I'm gonna go for broke.
And if I don't get re-elected, so be it.
You know how much better a country we would have?
Yeah, that's never going to happen.
I mean, people are drawn.
So politics are mediocrities.
But the thing is, my vocabulary is a little bit different.
They're going to.
The right is they're not afraid to say what they think.
They go for broke.
A lot of times out of sheer ignorance.
So why aren't Democrats just going like here's the reason why?
And this is what's explained to me by Jenk Uger makes this point.
And it's a great point.
Why is it?
Why do Republicans always stand up and go for broke?
They shut down the government, even though it was going to hurt them.
They impeached Bill Clinton, even though they knew it was going to hurt them.
Because that's the way the donors want it.
The donors want strong Republicans and weak Democrats.
If you're a strong Democrat saying, I can't wait to take on Wall Street and I'm going to shake it up and no more wars, you don't get any donor money.
And so if you're weak, then you get the donor money.
So that's why.
And that's what's wrong with the system.
And that's why Bernie trying to reinvigorate this Democratic Party, which they're all broken because that's how the gears work.
Money, money, money.
That's why she got reelected.
She didn't get re-elected because she's a good leader.
The Democrats are being wiped out underneath her leadership.
And why did they re-elect her?
Because she gives them money.
That's why.
And guess what?
There's a lot less Democrats in the Congress right now for her to give them money so she can give more money to the people who are left.
There's 69 less Democrats in the fucking Congress.
So she got all that much more money to give to the ones left over.
So they re-elect her.
And it's the wrong thing to do.
It's the corporate money that's fucking killing them.
And they can't get it through their head.
Because for so long, it's been money equals win.
Money equals win.
Except you don't anymore.
You lose all the time because there's no point to the Democrats.
You're exactly like Republicans.
You're Republican-light.
People say, oh, they're exactly like they're Republican-like.
Hillary Clinton was to the right of Donald Trump on trade, and she was to the right of Donald Trump on banking.
Donald Trump's platform was for reinstituting Glass-Steagall.
And he was for no TPP.
Couldn't even get the Democrats to put that in the freaking platform.
So they keep doing the same thing over and over.
They're stuck on money.
Bernie Sanders, I really don't know what the hell you're thinking.
I think if you went outside the party and you got 20% of the people with you, which he would get, then that is what changes the Democrat.
Because there's half the Democratic Party.
They don't have a problem with them ignoring stuff what's happening in North Dakota.
The people who supported Hillary Clinton, they're not on board for Occupy Wall Street.
They didn't like those people.
They're basically Republicans in their mindset.
They're Wall Street and Silicon Valley people.
They're the suburbanites that the whites are.
They're not Democrats.
They're not the people who are progressives.
These are literally.
So the party switched.
And a lot of the Donnie Tynehan's support used to be Democrat support.
That's why she lost in Wisconsin, Michigan, and Pennsylvania.
So there's no reason for the Democrats anymore.
Once they got in bed with Wall Street and Silicon Valley, that's why the Democrats are floundering.
Even with the Republican Party that is as weak as we can be, they're still floundering more because they have no message.
Their message is Republican light.
You know it and I know it.
Barack Obama's pushing the TPP.
He's expanding the wars.
They're blowing.
It's unbelievable.
He wanted to cut Social Security and Medicare.
He made the Bush tax cuts permanent.
This is what's wrong with the Democrats.
There's no reason for him anymore.
If Mitt Romney would have got elected, how much different would this country be really?
Would the banking would have been any different?
No.
Would the wars have been any different?
No.
What would have been fucking different?
Healthcare.
You think healthcare would be different?
No.
Romney care.
*Ding* *Ding*
Just after the election, one of the talking points I heard from the supposedly left-wing pundits who are assholes too, don't be fooled, was how am I going to explain this to my children?
How are you going to explain this to your children?
I don't know.
How did you explain all the other shitty things this country has done?
How'd you explain slavery or Japanese interner or the destruction of native peoples?
Oh, you never explained that shit to them.
Well, maybe this election could serve as an introduction to a course of study called America Does Shitty Things and Your Sense of Safety is an illusion.
And by the way, are there a lot of children out there asking about this election?
My experience is that children are more curious about candy and dinosaurs and what they get when you die.
And guess what?
If you've got a kid whose number one concern is the ontology of democracy, then the problem isn't explaining this election.
The problem is, how are you going to get this neurotic kid from being beaten up every day for the next 18 years?
Claiming children are potential victims is the oldest of rhetorical acts of bullshit.
Going back to the Hellenic Greece where Socrates was executed for corrupting youth, mainly because they couldn't execute him for being a chatty old pain in the ass.
To be fair, Socrates was buggering a 16-year-old boy.
Also, to be fair, so was everyone else.
My point is, there are plenty of good, solid objections to this election without bringing kids into it.
Besides, save it for when Ryan destroys Medicare and you have to explain to your kids why the parent you call the sea hag has to move in.
Thank you.
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All right.
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That is it.
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I don't know.
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Huh?
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So news broke this week that Jeb Bush just signed on with a lobbying firm.
No kidding.
Look at that.
Jeb decided to be okay for the rest of his life and he joined a lobbying firm.
We got a phone call from him.
Hello, this is Jimmy.
Jimmy, it's Jeb Bush.
Oh, hey, hey, Governor Bush.
How the heck are you?
I'm doing great.
You know, the Jimmy Dorse shows YouTube page just cracked 172,000 subscribers.
Oh, that's fantastic.
What's YouTube?
It's, you know, never mind.
What are you up to, Jeb?
Oh, not much.
Just thought I'd check in.
See how tricks work.
How are tricks?
Tricks are good.
Thanks for asking.
So nothing new in your world, Jeb?
No, no, not really.
Just oh, I got a new job.
Oh, a new job, really.
What is it, Jeb?
Well, I am going to be working for working for a lobbying firm.
Really?
A lobbying firm.
Yeah.
I mean, can you believe it?
Yes.
Yes, Jeb.
I can believe it.
I had a feeling you were going to say that.
Yeah.
It's kind of not a big surprise, is it?
Nope.
It's kind of the, it's kind of like something you could kind of see coming, isn't it?
Yes, Jeb.
Right, right.
No, no, I hear you.
I hear you.
I do.
I hear you.
Jimmy.
Yes, Jeb.
Do you ever get the feeling that your life is all kind of predestined?
Like all your decisions have been made for you before you were even born.
Not really, Jeb.
I mean, if that were the case, I'd have some mid-level management job in suburban Chicago with a bunch of kids that I yell at all the time.
And, you know, instead, I'm out in California making things happen.
Right.
Yeah, right.
I guess that's part of the privilege of not being born into a wealthy political dynasty.
Geez, I tell you, you guys get all the breaks.
I'm not so sure.
You know what?
I'm not sure.
When did I start talking with like Dan Dierdorf?
I'm not so sure not to St. Louis football cardinals.
Oh, deep cut.
I like it.
I'm not sure most people see it that way, Jeb.
Well, I do, Dang Nabot.
I hate being a bush.
Really?
Well, yeah, a non-president Bush.
What a crap lot in life that is.
I'm like the Zeppo of the Bush family.
I'm not even sure that's an apt comparison.
Zeppel was always the romantic lead.
Oh, goddammit.
Fine.
Gummo then.
The one who was never even in the movies.
Well, you have this cush job now, Jeb.
So I guess you could be thankful for that.
Oh, yeah.
Real thankful.
Thanks, obvious fate.
Thanks, completely predictable situation.
Baby Jeb tries to run for president and fails horribly and just lands right on top of the gravy train because he's from a political family.
Chubby little Jeb, not president and covered in delicious train gravy.
You know, I have to say, it did seem like it took a while for you to make your next career move after you were defeated in the primaries.
I mean, it's already December.
Well, you know, you don't want to just sort of, you know, be too hasty with that sort of thing.
Why not?
Well, you know.
Oh, my God.
You were holding out to see if Trump would offer you a cabinet position, weren't you, Jeb?
What?
That's it.
No, no, no, that's not exactly.
And he's talked with Mitt Romney and Ben Carson for HUD, but not you.
Ooh, that's got a burn.
All right, Jack Hole.
Laugh it up.
I see that it's just real funny to you, isn't it?
You butt nut.
Well, yeah, you must know.
I was indeed waiting to make sure.
And I was waiting until I saw the clown car almost filled up to the roof before I gave up.
And you know what?
You know what?
Good.
I don't want to be a part of that jerk jamboree over there anyway.
I would have entertained the idea of serving my country under Trump because that's all I want to do.
Serve my country and make a lot of money to buy things, but also just to have money.
Your moral compass is admirable, Governor.
I know.
I know it is.
You know how I know?
My mom told me.
When I was little, she said, Jeb.
She said, Jeb, you're the one with morals and ethics and all that good stuff.
And my mother doesn't lie.
Yeah, I'm sure she doesn't.
She's a straight shooter.
And you know what?
What?
I am going to look at my new job as an opportunity, an opportunity to do good, to make a difference in people's lives.
And what exactly will you be lobbying for in this new lobbying job?
Well, I'm glad you asked, Jimmy.
I will be working on behalf of large corporations who want to make the laws such that they can target communities where municipal drinking water is safe and be able to go into their homes and install poison infusers on their water tab.
Cuts out the middleman.
Makes things more efficient.
Good capitalism.
Oh, God, just please kill me.
So there's a new story out from the Washington Post about the waste inside the Pentagon.
Now, remember, everyone said Bernie Sanders was a maniac, crazy fairy duster because he wanted to spend $65 billion a year to send everybody to college.
How are you going to pay for that?
Oh, my God.
And then he wanted to give everybody single-payer health care, which, you know, we pay twice as much for our health care as the rest of the world.
And so he wanted to go, well, we could just use the system the rest of the world uses, single-payer, and then we could save money on that.
And people are like, well, how are you going to pay for that?
Yeah, how are we going to afford cheaper drugs?
So the reason I bring this up is because we're doing a story about the Pentagon.
Washington Post just found out $125 billion a year are wasted, at least, that the Pentagon admits.
We're going to do that story in a second.
But I came across this.
This is from, like, 2002 on CBS.
Pentagon.
The day before 9-1-1.
Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld declared war.
Not on foreign terrorists.
The adversary is closer to home.
It's the Pentagon bureaucracy.
That was September 10th, 2001.
That was the day before 9-11.
Rumsfeld comes out with this huge announcement that the Pentagon can't account for trillions of dollars.
Trillions?
The day before 9-11.
He comes out.
I'm going to admit it.
The day before 9-11.
It's this report from CBS.
It's pretty eye-opening.
That money wasted by the military poses a serious threat.
In fact, it could be said that it's a matter of life and death.
Rumsfeld promised change.
But the next day, the world changed.
And in the rush to fund the war on terrorism, the war on waste seems to have been forgotten.
Mm-hmm.
so a couple trillion dollars the day before 9-11 here's what george bush said 03 budget calls for more than 48 billion dollars in new defense spending more money for the pentagon when its own auditors admit the military cannot account for 25 of what it already spends according to some estimates we cannot track 2.3 trillion dollars in transactions 2.3 trillion with a till that's that that day before 9-11 hank that buys a lot of pink cadillacs
man.
That is some, how many people could we say, how many people could we send to college for two point something trillion dollars?
And then George Bush is like, yeah, fuck it.
Let's have another 50 billion at it because we don't have, we weren't spending enough to fight terrorism yet.
We couldn't have enough money to spend, we had to spend another $50 billion for what?
The guy, the guy's bought tad box cutters.
We got to spend $50 billion to fight guys with box cutters, 50 billion more than we're already spending.
That's $8,000 for every man, woman and child in America to understand how the Pentagon can lose track of trillions.
Consider the case of one military accountant who tried to find out what happened to a mere 300 million.
We know it's gone, but we don't know what they spend it on.
So he's trying to track 300 million.
And look what happened.
A former Marine turned whistleblower is risking his job by speaking out for the first time about the millions he noticed were missing from one defense agency's balance sheets.
men and women tried to follow the money trail, even crisscrossing the country, looking for records.
The director looked at me and he says, why do you care about this stuff?
It took me aback.
You know, my supervisor asked me why I care about doing a good job.
But I, you know who I'm really angry at those welfare Queens.
Cause they're driving Cadillacs and they're using food stamps.
Here's a guy trying to track $300 million.
People like, what's your problem, buddy?
Who cares?
What's your problem?
This is from January, 2002.
This is from dead.
This reports from January, 2002.
Thank you, Alexa.
So come on, what's 300 million.
Why you care?
This is, this is, this is what's happening inside of our government.
This is what ends empires overspending on military and no one gives a shit.
And we just keep spending more.
Every time they want to spend more money, they throw a video up of a guy cutting someone's head off with a kitchen knife.
And then we have to spend a hundred billion dollars.
And I think we got to underline.
No one gives a shit.
Cause imagine if this same thing happened, but the entity involved was social security.
Oh my God.
Oh, they would be, they would be screaming from the rafters, entitlements, entitlements, entitlements.
But here it's like, why do you care?
300 million?
Come on.
Maybe like a solar power company.
Yeah.
No, boy, they would be upset.
How dare you?
How dare you?
There's a little more of this report.
I think it was reassigned and says officials then covered up the problem, by just writing it off.
They got to cover it up.
That's where the corruption comes in.
They've got to cover up the fact that they can't do the job.
So what would it be if Barack Obama said, Hey, you know what?
We're going to save $125 billion a year from the Pentagon.
We're going to use that money to send everybody to college for free.
I don't know.
They probably amend the constitution to allow him to be president for life.
That's what I'm guessing.
Yeah.
If he said, Hey, we're going to cut that money from the Pentagon.
We're going to spend that money on sending people to school.
And what's left over.
We're going to give people healthcare with.
What do you think?
Let's see what else they say.
Pentagon's inspector general partially substantiated several of Minnery's allegations, but could not prove officials tried to manipulate the financial statements.
20 years ago, Pentagon employee, Franklin C. Spinney made headlines exposing what he calls the accounting games.
He's still there.
And although he does not speak for the Pentagon, he believes the problem has gotten worse.
Those numbers are pie in the sky.
The books are cooked routinely year after year after year.
So this is a guy saying it 1982 CBS.
This reports from 2002.
And we're going to get to another report from the Washington Post from 2016.
Hey, we're losing to hundreds of billions of dollars left and right.
Ah, whatever you, why do you think you could have healthcare?
What are you a pie in the sky?
What are you a fairy duster?
Hey, we're losing a hundred trillions.
Is that why do you think you could have free college?
What do you think this is?
Who's going to pay for that?
Richest country in the world.
They've brainwashed the electorate into thinking college and healthcare is free stuff.
That's free stuff.
That's like saying, you know, if you water your tree, then why are you giving it free water?
Why are you giving your tree free water?
No, I'm growing a tree.
So it gives us shade.
It's an investment.
Just like education.
Well, now the tree thinks it's entitled to water.
Now it thinks it's exposed.
It's going to be an effective tree.
And I don't, I don't want that effective tree thinking it gets water.
So I know I sound like the, the lefty liberal, you know, you, you see that you see those bumper stickers.
When, when is the Pentagon going to have to have a bake sale for bombs?
Why do schools have to have bake sales for books?
I love that.
But that's true.
Why?
Because we have fucked up priorities because cash has bought our government.
Your government doesn't represent you anymore.
We live in an oligarchy.
And let's, I think there's more to this.
Tired vice admiral, Jack Shanahan commanded the Navy's second fleet.
The first time Donald Rumsfeld served as defense secretary with good financial oversight.
We could find $48 billion.
It was changed in that building without having to hit the taxpayers in the, the two and a half minutes since this report began the pentagon has spent nearly two million dollars and it may never know where 25 of those tax dollars went in los angeles i'm vince gonzalez for eye on america so there you go great uh report from 2002.
That's from 14 years ago.
Things have only gotten worse.
So from 20 years ago, hey, we're wasting all this money.
2000, hey, we're wasting.
And everybody says, what do you think?
What do you want?
Free stuff?
There are people getting unbelievably wealthy off of scamming us through our military purchases.
This is unbelievable.
They're not even suggesting not spending that money.
They're just talking about finding where it went.
What did we buy?
Yeah.
Who are that cushions or anything?
There's a room full of PlayStation 1 somewhere out there.
So whenever some neoliberal or a conservative tells you, well, we can't afford it.
We're broke.
You tell them you're full of shit or you're using a Texas math book because we're not broke.
We got more money than they know what to do with.
We just don't want to give it to the people.
We want to give it to defense contractors, Silicon Valley, and Wall Street.
That's where our money goes.
Oh, but I'm sorry, oil subsidies and prison construction.
Don't forget that.
Well, I think Free College would pay for itself many times over because just imagine the accounting degrees people that work at the Pentagon could get.
So I play that just to show you how little things have changed.
So this is the headline from the Washington Post last week.
It said, Pentagon buries evidence of $125 billion in bureaucratic waste.
So the Pentagon has buried an internal study.
They did their own study and exposed $125 billion in administrative waste in its business operations amid fears Congress would use the findings as an excuse to slash the defense budget.
Oh my God.
In a confidential August 2014 memo, McKinsey noted that while the Defense Department was the world's largest corporate enterprise, it had never rigorously measured the cost effectiveness, speed, agility, or quality of its business operations.
McKinsey is the company they hired to do this audit.
Pentagon leaders had requested the study to help make their enormous back office bureaucracy more efficient and reinvest any savings in combat power.
So the Pentagon leaders wanted to do this study to see how much money they could save.
So they didn't really want to save that money.
They just wanted to take whatever money they were spending too much on for their bureaucrats and put it into buying bombs and tanks and stuff.
That's what they wanted to do with it.
Pentagon officials knew their back office bureaucracy was overstaffed and overfunded, but nobody had ever gathered and analyzed such a comprehensive set of data before.
Nor did the Pentagon have even a remotely accurate idea of what it was paying for for those options.
Just keep spending.
That's what they say we do with Social Security and welfare and food stamps.
You just spend it, throw it around, just throw money at our education.
They just throw money at the problem.
We don't even have a problem.
And we're throwing money at it.
Billions, if not trillions of dollars.
Again, so the reason I'm going over this like this is that next time you hear a politician or a conservative or a neoliberal or anybody say that America's broke and we can't afford it or how are you going to pay for it?
You tell them, we got more money than we know what to do with.
Okay, here we go.
The Defense Business Board was ordered to conduct the study by the Deputy Defense Secretary, Robert O. Work, which is quite, what a great name to have.
Yeah, that is interesting.
I need some work in here.
Let's get some work done.
Getting some good work done.
Hey, where's my work?
The Pentagon's second highest ranking official.
That was to this guy, Robert O. Work.
The Deputy Secretary work.
At first, he touted the efficiency drive as a top priority and boasted about his idea to recruit corporate experts to lead the way.
So this is a big deal.
He's really gung-ho, the deputy secretary of defense.
He was sure it was going to work.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Sure, it's going to work.
One in one.
Some defense business board members warned that exposing the extent of the problem could have unforeseen consequences.
I wonder what those are, Rod.
Want to take a guess what those consequences could be?
That fucking people stop giving you too much money to waste?
That would be, well, let's see what they say.
You're about to turn on the light in a very dark room, Kenneth Klepper, the former chief executive of Medco Health Solutions, he told Work in the summer of 2014.
According to two people familiar with the exchange, that's what he told Work.
All the quote, all the crap is going to float to the surface and stink the place up.
Dude, you don't want to know what's going on at the Pentagon.
Keep wasting money.
There's too many about, guess what work said to him?
Guess what work said?
Work said, do it.
Do it anyway.
Turn on the light.
The Pentagon needed more outside expertise.
A team of consultants from McKinsey was hired.
The report issued in January 2015 identified a clear path for the Defense Department to save $125 billion over five years.
The plan would not have required layoffs of civil servants or reductions in military personnel.
Instead, it would have streamlined the bureaucracy through attrition and early retirements, curtailed high-priced contractors, curtailed high-priced contractors, and made better use of information technology, IT.
The data showed that the Defense Department was paying a staggering number of people, 1,014,000 contractors.
Those are civilians and uniformed personnel to fill back office jobs far from the front lines.
The workforce supports 1.3 million troops on active duty, the fewest since 19.
So we have the fewest amount of soldiers on active duty since 1940, 1.3 million.
And how many support bureaucrats do they need?
They need a million, 14,000 to support a million.
So there's almost one to one.
That's almost one to one.
For every soldier, there's a guy in a suit somewhere sitting in an office typing stuff out for him.
Man, you'd think with that kind of contractor support, we could actually help these people when they come home.
But I guess it doesn't extend to that, huh?
No, you think it's like they could all have their own personal helper when they get back to the United States, each member of the military, because we've got a million extra people sitting around helping.
For the military, the major allure of the study was that it called for reallocating the $125 billion for troops and weapons.
So they didn't want to save the money and give it back to the taxpayer.
They just want to spend it somewhere.
I will take that money we saved and we'll spend it over here on bombs.
125, but how does that translate into tanks?
How can we, can we just get that currency in tanks?
How many make it easier?
Yeah, what is that?
How many MRAPs is that?
Among other options, the savings could have paid a large portion of the bill to rebuild the nation's aging nuclear arsenal or the operating expenses for 50 Army brigades.
Our bridges are fine, but our nuclear arsenal is a little dated.
I'm concerned.
Me too.
We got to get that nuclear arsenal.
Build brigades, not bridges.
Brigades, not bridges.
That's a good chant, Hank.
Guess this, Hank.
Some Pentagon leaders said they fretted that by spotlighting so much waste, the study would undermine their repeated public assertions that years of budget austerity had left the armed forces starved for funds.
So they're like, hey, they might know we screwed up, guys.
They might know we're full of shit if we tell them this.
You guys, you know, we've been fleecing the people in charge of protecting America.
We've actually been fleecing America.
We're actually the criminals.
So you better not let this out or people will be onto us.
So instead of providing more money, they said they worried Congress and the White House might decide to cut deeper.
But after the project documented far more.
So Word, the Deputy Secretary of Defense, was all for it.
But after the project documented far more wasteful spending than expected, senior defense officials moved swiftly to kill it by discrediting and suppressing the results.
How much was it?
A billion?
Oh, aim higher.
All right, Square.
We're done.
We're not talking anymore.
That plan's not good.
So the plan was killed.
The Pentagon imposed secrecy restrictions on the data, making up the study, which ensured no one could replicate the findings.
A 77-page summary report that had been made public was removed from the Pentagon website.
So these are criminals inside of our own goddamn government inside the role.
So you understand how there's just total corruption in our society.
Wall Street, government, the Pentagon, everywhere you look, it's corruption, corruption, corruption, the opposite of lawfulness happening.
We live in a lawless society where the only people who have to follow the rules are poor or the unpowerful.
And so here these guys are doing.
Go ahead.
But just imagine if a foreign entity stole $125 billion.
It's that simple of a thought experiment.
We would go to war.
We would bomb them.
There'd be drones in the air after them.
But we tolerate so much self-harm.
It's a strange, weird psychology going on there.
People will get mad at us for bringing this up because we're, as I've said before, we're a nation of adult children of alcoholics.
We don't get mad at the guys at the Pentagon doing this stuff.
We get mad at the people who tell you the guys at the Pentagon are doing this stuff.
Shut up, you liberal.
Shut up.
You're a fairy duster.
That's the way it is.
You need to have a strong defense.
More money on defense.
300 million.
Who cares?
Come on.
You could have anything you want.
You could have parks.
Everybody could have daycare for their kids.
Everybody could have universal health care.
Everybody could have four weeks off vacation.
We could have all the things they have in the rest of the world.
We could have those things here, but we can't have this and that.
Well, the only difference is we wouldn't have as many billionaires.
Yeah.
And those we do have, they'd be like 30 billionaires, not 60 billionaires.
Do you really want to live in a society with fewer billionaires, Jimmy?
Come on.
Grow up.
I don't.
After the board finished its analysis, however, work, the deputy, there is this, he says there is this meme that we're a bloated giant organization.
Although there is a little bit of truth in that, I think it vastly overstates what's really going on, said Work.
Of course, I mean, I've always thought of the Pentagon as a small business.
You know, when I think of mom and pop shops, Pentagon, usually first.
So the guy who was totally gung-ho and said, light it up.
Let's see it.
Let's see all the gunk.
Let's have it all float to the top.
Let's get this done because Chuck Hagel was the Secretary of Defense who wanted to do that.
Then Work acknowledged that the push to improve business operations lost steam.
After then Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel was replaced by Ashton B. Carter in February 2015, Carter has emphasized other goals, such as strengthening the Pentagon's partnership with high-tech firms because you can't do both things.
We can make cooler weapons, you guys.
We lost steam with the other stuff.
Yeah, Skynet's expensive.
How can we find this money without any steam?
Yeah, you can't strengthen the Pentagon's partnerships with high-tech firms and cut $125 billion in waste out of your budget.
You couldn't possibly do both those things.
You can only do one.
You can only have one focus.
He said the Pentagon is adopting some of the study's recognition.
This is work, the Deputy Secretary of Defense.
He said the Pentagon is adopting some of the study's recommendations on a smaller scale and estimated it will save $30 billion by 2020.
Baby steps.
That's $7 billion a year, right?
Roughly.
Many of the programs he cited, however, have been on the drawing board for years or were unrelated to the Defense Business Board's research.
So once again, we have criminals running our government, blatantly being criminal, no one holding them to account.
Nobody.
You know, when the whole goddamn Pentagon moves to do an illegal war, I guess they're all, I guess, holding people accountable after that is ridiculous.
After the government orders torture and the Pentagon carries it out and nobody's ever held accountable, I guess it's silly.
So there you go.
So the next time anybody tells you that, oh, it's crazy that you want health care or it's crazy that you want daycare for their kids or it's crazy that you want four weeks vacation for workers or it's crazy that you want free college.
They're full of shit.
Either they're liars or they've been brainwashed by the culture, the media.
That's all that is.
It's just brainwashing.
Again, America, richest country the face of the earth has ever seen.
We can afford everything many times over, but we choose.
We choose.
Our leaders are bought, corrupted, including Barack Obama.
They're bought and corrupted.
And now they serve their donors and they don't serve the people, which is why half the country in the richest country in the world that can blow trillions of dollars like this, half the country is poor.
Hello?
Way to show your respect for our brave men and women who gave their all on this day so many years ago.
I'm sorry, but did I do something wrong?
Excuse me.
May I speak?
You had your say, Jimmy.
And now it is my turn.
May I speak, please?
By the way, I'm waving my arms in a rolling motion to indicate frustration.
Of course, Bernie.
I'm sorry.
Go ahead and complete your thought.
Calm, cold, cold, gradulated garlic, gradulated garlic.
Congratulated garlic.
It's a relaxation word exercise.
Say it all by it over and over, guys.
And eventually loses all meaning.
Like the word democracy.
Democracy, democracy, democracy, democracy.
See?
Hey, if you'd like to hear the rest of that Bernie Sanders phone call, you can become a premium member.
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Okay, so we'll see you.
Remember, the day after Christmas, we're going to see you there for a live Jimmy Door show at the Flappers Comedy Club in Burbank.
That's the day after Christmas, the day after Christmas, July, July, December 26th, December 26th, the day after Christmas.
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It's going to be a great time.
We'll see you there.
Hey, today's show was written by Mike McRae, Robert Yasamura, Mark Van Landua, Jim Earl, Steph Zamorano, and Mike McRae.
All the voices today performed by the one and the only, the inimitable, Mike McRae, who can be found at mikemcray.com.
That's it for this week.
Until next week, this is Jimmy Dore saying you be the best you can be.
And I'll keep being me.
Don't freak out.
Do not, do not.
Do not not freak out.
Do not freak out.
I'm not in it.
Not freak out.
Not freak out.
Don't freak out.
Do not freak out.
Don't freak out.
Don't freak out.
Do not freak out.
I'm not giving it.
Do not give it.
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