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Sept. 17, 2016 - Jimmy Dore Show
01:05:42
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Today's Jimmy Dore show is brought to you by Casper.
To get $50 off your mattress purchase, go to casper.com/slash Jimmy and use the promo code Jimmy.
Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program.
The Jimmy Dore Show, Governor Christie?
This is Chris Christie.
Who the fuck is this?
Governor Chris Christie.
It's Jimmy Dore.
Oh.
Oh, yeah.
How are you?
It's been a while.
Oh, I'm doing great, Governor.
Look, I wondered if you had a few minutes to talk with us.
Sure, why not?
You never thought anything other than make fat jokes about me.
Please, let's have a discussion that drilled.
Ah, sir, those were just jokes, and you've made fat jokes about yourself.
Yeah, you're allowed to do self-deprecating jokes about yourself, but it's inconsiderate and bullyish to talk about someone else.
I can't believe I have to explain this to a comedian.
Something about punching down versus punching up.
Anyway, whatever.
Fuck it.
ask you questions while I toss these slices of gabagool into my mouth.
I don't know what I'm talking about.
No.
Oh, no.
No!
Can't do so.
The bridge.
I'm not going to.
I'm not going to get through this.
So the Bridgegate trial has started in earnest.
I noticed the jury's already been selected, and some former colleagues of yours are set to testify.
Are you concerned about any blowback, so to speak, that these testimonies might have against your reputation?
No.
No?
What did I just say?
But the former colleagues.
Oh, oh, you mean Bridget Ann Kelly and Bill Baroni?
Yes.
Yes, them.
Okay.
Okay, what?
The same Bill Baroni, who was represented by Michael Baldassari.
Uh, yeah, I look, yeah, that's his lawyer's name.
Yeah, I'm not worried.
You're not worried at all?
Jimmy, how familiar are you with Italian surnames?
Uh, not very, I will admit.
Baroni, Baldasari.
Those are Calabrazi names.
And I'm not worried.
Why not?
Look, do I gotta spell it out for you?
Baroni knows he'll have to do some time at the click.
If he names me, he'll do less time, sure.
But if he doesn't, he'll do more time.
But when he gets out, he'll get his spurs.
I don't, what, his spurs?
He'll be a maid guy.
He'll be in charge of his own crew.
Stop making real money.
Real New Jersey corrupt dirty government money.
What about Kelly?
I mean, that sounds Irish, not Italian.
Yeah, you're right.
She'll never be a maid guy.
She's half Italian, half Irish.
It's just not a cards for her, because she's not full-blooded.
But it doesn't mean that she can't get rewarded.
She may not end up being a copo, but she's definitely going to be in a position where she could be a good earner.
Also, her name is Bridget.
It's got bridge right in there.
Uh, so yeah, nothing.
I just thought that was something I'd bring up in this sketch.
So these two, uh, I mean, I and I assume others they're gonna take the fall for you just because of some ancient code.
Don't get me wrong, there's some reciprocity here.
We take care of their families when they're in lockup.
A fresh tray of Monocult twice a week, every Sunday from the First Lady of New Jersey herself.
And by that, I mean me and a dress showing up saying, Hey, you must.
And while they're gone, their operations will be looked after, and their families will be provided for by reasonable percentages made from that by the captains.
Wait, are we talking about the mafia or the government of New Jersey?
What's the difference?
So you're not worried this will lead to you at all?
I mean, this investigation at large?
The gang with the flat jokes.
I mean, sorry, the investigation in general.
Look, Jimmy, none of the Rico predicates are at play here.
I'm golden.
Sir, this isn't a RICO trial.
This is a government corruption trial.
Who cares?
I'm not going to jail over a fucking bridge over a fucking traffic jam.
Because people relate to work.
End of story.
Eat your fucking boots, Adele.
No.
Ah!
Okay.
So how is your relationship with Donald Trump?
Strained.
Do you still support him?
Right, for president?
Yes.
Of course.
I have to.
He's my boss now.
After Jackie Aprio died, and my uncle June took over.
I didn't like it.
But that's our goals.
He's the copo.
Understand this.
We have rules.
And we stick to the rules.
Otherwise, we're no better than the fucking animals.
I'm sorry.
What?
I've said too much.
Is this how you're looking at this, Chris?
You actually like to pretend you're a gangster, don't you?
You better watch your step, my friend.
You're treading in dangerous waters.
You like a TV show that's been off the air since 2007 so much that you pattern your behavior on it, and now you're about to pay the piper, Chris.
Oh, yeah?
Next time I see you, you better be wearing a fucking Kevlar vest, you cocksucker.
Yeah, keep making your look.
Keep making your little jokes.
Especially the world who got around the Jimmy Dore sleeps with the fishes.
Chris, that's from the Godfather.
Damn.
I mean, you're literally funny.
I'm funny.
I'm funny.
Do you want to make a funny like a clown?
Chris.
I mean, I'm funny.
That's from goodfellas.
Dang, get it.
Oh, by the way, Jimmy, are you getting my LinkedIn requests?
Oh, my God.
It's the Jimmy Door Show.
The show for...
...the kind of people that are...
...the show that makes Anderson Cooper say...
It's hard to talk to you, Kim.
And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore!
Hey, everybody.
Welcome to this week's Jimmy Door show.
I am joined in the studio.
Hilarious comedian Ron Placode.
Ron has a great podcast.
Ron, what's the name of it?
Indie Bohemians.
Indie Bohemians.
I've been on that podcast.
It's great.
Check it out at iTunes or anywhere you get podcasts, correct?
Yep, yep, indie bohemian.
Ron Placode also here is Hank Thompson.
Hank also has a podcast called Infinite Clicks.
That's right on iTunes.
It's on iTunes.
Infinite Clicks, which was originally a YouTube show, so that name makes sense.
Now it doesn't.
It's a fail.
Well, you can still watch the episodes when I did the web series at the Young Turks.
It's a failed YouTube channel, and now it's a failing podcast.
Oh, okay.
But it's about science, right?
Yeah, we talk science stories and, you know, kind of gripe about our lives.
It's sort of obnoxious and terrible.
It's called Infinite Clicks.
Infinite Clicks.
And you are not a scientist.
No, but my brother is.
Oh, that's good.
Close enough.
You know somebody.
It's kind of like how Michael Douglas's brother is an actor.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
My brother's an actor.
Yeah.
So I'm going to do that.
I'm going to do the acting.
Yeah, I'm like the Baldwin sister.
Let's get to the jokes before we get to the jokes, shall we?
Hey, John Boehner.
I don't know if you know, he just got named director at a major tobacco company, R.J. Reynolds.
Oh, good.
For a tobacco company.
So not only is he anti-health care, he's also anti-health.
John Boehner, how are you?
Mike Pence says cigarettes don't kill.
That's what Mike Penn says.
Cigarettes don't kill.
In fact, he always enjoys a smoke right after he's judged other people's sex lives.
Other people having sex does kill.
Oh, sure, it does.
That is dangerous.
I don't know if you heard, but the president of the United States, the race for president has tightened, which is the most exciting news for Trump supporters since the Germans had the allies on the run in WW2.
You know, Jimmy, the only way this election could be worse is if more grandpas could type.
I don't know why that's funny.
Just be more garbage on the internet.
You know what?
I demand to see the long-form gift certificate Trump purchased with the money that was supposed to go to charity.
It's a six-foot-tall gift certificate.
The punchline's in the front of that joke.
That's what's wrong with that joke.
Mike Pence was asked if he would call David Duke deplorable, and he said no.
He wouldn't call him deplorable.
And I understand why hey, Mike Pence doesn't want to call David Duke deplorable because it's going to make it awkward when they're both sitting in the same cabinet.
You know, last week, Libertarian Gary Johnson seriously screwed up during an interview about Syrian refugees when he said he didn't even know what Aleppo was.
To his credit, he later correctly identified Aleppo as the fifth Marks brother.
So good for Gary.
I thought it was a racist term for leprechauns.
Hey, here's a campaign tip for Hillary: if you want to call out racists, homophobes, and misogynists, call them racist homophobes and misogynists.
A basket of deplorables, that's my laundry.
A basket of deplorables.
I mean, who's writing her shit?
Basil Rathbone?
Basil Rathbone is the punchline.
Basil Rathbone.
Rachel Ray's evil sister.
Hillary's campaign says they're going to release her full medical records this week.
I'd rather know the results of all those physicals Wall Street gave her.
Donald Trump says he'd like to do his duty and get a physical, but his doctor said he can't go because he's got bone spurs.
Can't go get a physical because he's got bone spurs.
Hey, by the way, in the name of fair and balanced, as long as white people can sick attack dogs on Native Americans, we should legalize scalping.
Yeah.
I saw those videos.
They're so horrifying.
It's hard to laugh about that.
This dog.
You're using an animal as a weapon.
You're using an animal as a weapon against human beings.
And then their mouths were full of blood, and they were still running at people.
And now there's a warrant out for Amy Gumman arrest for exposing.
To be fair, she was biting those dogs.
The world is upside down and backwards, man.
The people who are supposed to protect us are protecting corporations and polluters.
That's weird.
In Los Angeles, the LAPD just unveiled a new phone app for reporting terrorist activity.
At last, a more effective way to report police brutality.
Hey, I had some computer fun today.
I pressed control-alt-right and deleted a Republican IT guy.
Hey, did you know that the highest court in Italy just ruled that masturbation in public is not a crime?
Boy, those Italians sure love to jerk their mussel weenies.
Am I right?
There it is.
Mooseleweenies.
This is the kind of quality comedy that comes to you free.
All right, what's coming up on today's show?
Lots of stuff is coming up on today's show.
We show how Hillary contradicts herself.
They keep lying, lying, lying.
We're going to cover that.
There's lots of other stuff.
Rick Perry calls in today to talk about Dancing with the Stars.
And Chris Christie.
Oh, nice.
Plus, we have obituary, a fake obituary.
Phyllis Schlafly died.
We're going to pay our respects because now she's finally as dead on the outside as she is on the inside.
Plus a lot, lot more.
That's today on the Jimmy Dore Show.
We'll see you next time.
So everybody's worried about the health of our presidential candidates, Hillary Clinton, lying about her health, go to her daughter's apartment when she passes out and she's got a history of brain trauma.
They don't go to a hospital and then they lie to the media about it.
Then when they're caught lying, they lie more.
My speculation is that she has Parkinson's and they're covering that up.
That's my speculation.
Right now, everybody's talking about Donald Trump.
You know, he had that bogus letter from that bogus guy who said he wrote it in five minutes.
So Dr. Oz, Mr. Trump is going to reveal his own personal health regimen.
So according to Donald Trump, he was already, he got last week, was examined by another doctor.
And the results of that, he's going to give to Dr. Oz.
And then Dr. Oz is going to be able to question Donald Trump about it and talk about it.
Sounds pretty good, right?
In fact, Dr. Oz says it's a one-on-one with Donald Trump, a no-holds-barred conversation that you'll be talking about.
Now, let's remember, Dr. Oz's reputation has taken a lot of hits lately because he pushes a lot of quacky stuff that isn't scientific.
And he's been called out lots of times for it.
But he doesn't lose his TV show.
Why?
Because it gets ratings and it makes money.
The same reason why Brian Williams is still on TV.
Okay?
That's why.
So here he was talking about it on Fox Radio.
And let's listen to what he had to say.
He's talking to Brian Kilmead.
The release of the Donald Trump records.
He's already taken the exam last week.
And you're going to go over the results with him live on television?
Well, we haven't taped on top.
Yeah, well, we haven't taped the show yet.
We're going to tape it on Wednesday to air on Thursday.
And it's really his decision.
It's his personal records.
I want to ask him pointed questions about his health.
What if there's some embarrassing things on there?
I bet you won't release them.
But it's still going to be his decision.
The metaphor for me is it's a doctor's office, the studio.
So I'm not going to ask him questions he doesn't want to have answered.
Wow.
No holds barred.
So Dr. Oz, again, revealing that he has no integrity and that he's just a media whore.
So I'm not going to ask him any questions he doesn't want to have asked.
That's not an interview.
That's a lot of holds that are barred.
Sounds like Kaiser.
That's amazing.
Couldn't be more of a worthless thing.
And he's doing it.
All you're doing now, you're serving as propaganda for Donald Trump, and you're willing to do it, Dr. Oz, because you can't get enough attention.
Ready for this?
That's a joke, by the way, Dr. Oz.
Like, you're a joke now.
Like, that's a joke.
Well, he has been for a long time because he's been a joke.
Well, he's not just a meeting.
And I don't really follow his content in fairness, but he's not just a media whore.
He's also a product whore.
I mean, you're saying he pushes this in scientific stuff.
It's because he gets paid to do that.
So really, he's abusing his title of doctor.
It's completely unethical.
Yes.
I just hope that Trump wears a gown loosely tied in the back the whole interview.
He wears a hospital.
Yeah.
Hospital gown.
Yeah.
That would be great.
So they ask him a little bit more about this.
When I see what you do on Thursday, would I feel like I know what Donald Trump's health is by the end of your show?
You should.
That's the goal.
If he tells you, don't say this, don't say that.
Don't say this, you won't.
Will you say that you did not want me to say my blood pressure?
Did you say you don't want me to talk about my...
But you haven't done the exam.
You're not doing the exam.
I'm not doing the exam.
I'm just going to, I don't want to be his doctor or secretary.
Do you want to talk to his doctor?
I would talk to his doctor if they were allowed me to, but to this point, they've actually said, ask whatever questions you want.
Of Donald.
Of Donald.
Are you going to ask to get access to his doctor?
I've been asked to access that doctor.
So what are they going to talk about?
Like a joke.
Like if I was writing a comedy sketch, that's how, almost exactly how I'd write it.
So did you ask to get access to him?
I haven't.
Are you going to ask him questions that are tough?
No.
I'm just going to validate his lies because I'll be wearing a doctor suit.
I'm going to be, I have a doctor in front of my name, and then I will validate any crap he says.
Yeah.
Because he's paying me.
Because I'm going to fail my profession and my viewers and the country.
My urine is the clearest urine.
You won't find clearer urine than my urine.
I have the clearest urine of anybody.
I can't wait to see.
I'm not even going to watch it.
It's just going to, because it's just a commercial for Trump.
That's all.
I'm not even watching it.
It's ridiculous to even watch.
It's all it is.
It's a commercial for Trump.
So, hey, Dr. Oz, way to go.
Way to let down the country once again.
Oh, and Oprah, you have to take some responsibility for this.
Thank you.
you No!
you Hey, we're talking about Hillary Clinton, and we're going to look at Brian Williams and the great job he did breaking this story down.
I'm here with the ardent atheist duo, Heather Henderson, Heather Henderson.
Thank you.
And Emery Ethmery.
He did my guest.
We do that on the show.
I mess up a name per show at least accidentally.
So when I don't mess one up, I make sure I do.
So Brian Williams, we're all talking about Hillary Clinton.
She didn't get taken when she passed out or when she stumbled or when she had her neurological episode is what I'm calling it.
She said she got overheated and they took her in the van.
Brian Williams brought on a real doctor.
This is great.
And here's what a real doctor had to say.
R-S-E-R doc.
Looking back at what is known, do you think a little bit of hospital care was best?
Or was it truly a situation where going to her daughter's apartment nearby, hydrating, cooling down did the trick?
You know, the things that concern me are if I was in the emergency room and I got a call from an ambulance saying that I had a 68-year-old patient that had pneumonia, was dehydrated, and either passed out or almost passed out, I would say bring them to the emergency room right away.
We need to find out, number one, what could have caused this, and then number two, we need to correct it, especially the dehydration, and just run a few tests on them to make sure it's not going to happen again.
And to me, that's probably the most concerning thing that they didn't do that.
Luckily, you know, she recovered very quickly from this, so it turned out okay in this case.
But you never know when that happens and when it happens so quickly and so suddenly.
So now Brian Williams is probably going to go, wow, I never thought of that.
That is 68-year-old woman who's passed.
That's right, you would rush her to a...
So you're telling me you think this is suspicious?
I bet you that's what Brian Williams is going to say to that guy, right?
I bet that's what he's going to say.
He recovered very quickly from this, so it turned out okay in this case.
But you never know when that happens and when it happens so quickly and so suddenly.
Emergency room doc, Dr. John Torres, thank you very much for joining us tonight.
Oh, I guess he didn't say any of that stuff.
He didn't go, wow, that's really curious.
That makes me blah, blah, blah.
What did Brian Williams do?
He didn't say, well, I never thought of that.
We have an emergency medical, our specialist.
This is our guy who's the expert.
And he just said that he can't believe that they didn't take her to the thing.
Hmm.
Yeah, you know, I never looked at it like that.
And since you're the expert, that's why we have you here.
I guess you're right.
He doesn't think clearly sometimes, you know, ever since he was shot at in that helicopter, he's really kind of off his game.
He's got PTSD.
That's the problem.
So he goes to Howard Dean, who is now working for one of the biggest lobbyist firms in the world, Howard Dean, who was once the Bernie Sanders of the Democratic Party.
And here's what Howard Dean had to say about it.
Well, you know, I think the whole thing is sort of overblown.
First of all, I agree with Dr. Torres about everything, except I would not take a 68-year-old woman who was running for president of the United States to a New York City emergency room under any circumstances unless something much worse than this was going on.
Huh.
Oh, really?
Really?
Really?
You wouldn't, under any circumstance.
I let her die first.
She'd have to wait for three or four hours in the waiting room.
Right.
You know, I'm also told, so this isn't fact.
This is just that they have a plan.
Of course, they would have a contingency plan.
Where do we take the nominee if there's a medical emergency?
They have.
So they have a plan.
They're supposed to take it to a trauma center and they have it all set up.
So they're supposed to just take her, right?
So the Secret Service is just supposed to take her, but they didn't, right?
And Howard, and this is bullshit.
So we heard, so he's being paid to say that, right?
Or he's right.
So he wants a job at the Clinton administration, and he's been saying a lot of garbage all this campaign.
And this is more of it.
This doesn't help.
We all know that you take a 68-year-old lady with a history of brain trauma who passes out in the heat.
You take her to the frick.
You don't take her to her daughter's apartment.
What if she said no?
And that's what a doctor said.
And you don't listen to her because she's ill and she's not thinking clearly.
She just passed out.
So here, let's listen more.
She'll be fine.
My guess is this is probably not even bacterial pneumonia, although.
So he is diagnosing her over TV and then he sees she'll be fine.
I don't know how he knows it.
I'm sorry.
I need to point out that the guy who is diagnosing her over podcasts is complaining about the guy who is diagnosing her over TV.
Go on, please, Jimmy.
So I'm pointing out that he's doing what I'm doing.
Spada's fade, bro.
He is doing what I'm doing, and I'm not a doctor.
So I don't know better.
He should know better because he is a doctor.
And then he says this.
I'm with Dr. Torres.
You don't make diagnoses on television.
Well, you just did it.
No.
You just did.
You just did.
That's why I said that because you just said she's going to be fine.
And she has this.
But I agree.
You're not supposed to make.
You just.
Let's see if he says anything else.
And so here, Brian Williams, after he says this, they come back to Brian Williams and he's going to throw it a question to someone else.
Except Brian Williams takes a moment to say this.
Now, you would have think when the doctor said that we should have brought her to the man, they didn't.
That's a thing that surprised me.
He would have been like, wow, we got a story here.
No, he does the opposite.
Watch what Brian Williams does.
On your emergency room point, I did see a quote from an aide today saying, for just in the interest of keeping hubbub down and any discretion issues that might arise, they voted against going to the ER.
And that's enough of an explanation for Brian Williams.
I heard an aide say earlier, just to keep hubbub down, they didn't.
The woman's passing out.
She has pneumonia.
She's 68 years old.
She has a history of brain trauma.
Yeah, just to, you know, I heard an aide say today, you know why you don't want to go to it.
Do you want to keep hub?
What kind of, he's just repeating now.
He's with an uncritical eye.
He takes something that someone at the Hillary Clinton campaign said and repeats it as fact, contradicting the real doctor.
You know it's a problem when Jimmy runs out of air.
You know it's it's a it's beyond the pale.
It makes Jimmy run out of air.
Thank you for noticing.
Absolutely.
That's unbelievable.
I guess I'm the only one who's going nuts over this because that is horrible what he just did.
What he just did was like, oh, yeah, I heard from an aide.
They said they didn't want hubbub.
So I just buy, I just buy that excuse and they move on.
And in fact, I repeat it in a way that makes it seem like it's dismissible.
You mean that freaking expert you brought on who said that was effed up that they didn't bring her there?
Oh, no, I heard from an aide, though.
They didn't want to keep the hubbub down.
You fucking tool.
Has anyone ever called you the mystery science theater of news?
Not yet.
That's really what you do.
Thank you.
This is pretty great.
I like dude.
Let's see if he has anything else.
No, I think that's it.
It's four o'clock.
It is four o'clock.
Here's.
So now here's Howard Dean, and we've given him a hard time on this show before because he sold out and he's working for lobbying firms now and he's on the wrong side of all the issues.
In fact, he's been in bed with a corporatist this whole campaign instead of with a real progressive like Bernie Sanders.
So we've given him a lot of hard times and we've done it correctly.
So now he can't shut up.
He keeps lying in defense of Hillary Clinton and listen to what he says.
He's, oh, you talk too much, Howard.
You talk too much.
Here we go.
I think the fixation on transparency angers the press.
Well, of course it angers the press.
They think their business is to know everything.
Given what Hillary's had to go through at the hands of the press, I wouldn't tell him anything either.
So first of all, he just said that he's advocating that the person who wants to be president of the United States who hasn't had a press conference in over 260 some days shouldn't talk to the press ever.
I don't know if you understand, Howard.
The press is us.
The press is the United States.
That's the citizen.
That's who that's they're our representative to ask you questions.
I wouldn't tell them anything.
They're not a foreign body.
They're the press in the United States.
They serve us.
So when you say that, Howard, what you're telling, would you, by the way, that's a double standard, Howard, because you would never put up with that from the Republicans.
Hey, I told George Bush, don't talk to the press.
Really?
You would never say that.
So this is, again, the horribleness that Hillary Clinton brings out in Democrats is they start to sound like right-wingers.
They start to have double standards.
They start to disingenuously defend her horrible positions and they start to lie to their own base.
Here's where he screws up and talks too much.
You know, this is a temporary illness.
She's going to be fine.
Again, he's diagnosing over television.
I'm sure she's already Skyping with people, with donors and so forth, doing some of the campaigning.
I'm sure she's already talking to donors.
I'm sure she's already voters?
No, donors.
Yeah, she's already talking with donors.
You got to constantly talk to millionaires.
She's already talking to millionaires today.
Did you hear what I said?
Probably billionaires.
She's already talking with donors.
She's got pneumonia.
She almost died, but she's talking with donors.
She almost died.
That's Jimmy's being taken further.
Take it a little further every time.
So I don't know.
That is a slip that he goes.
She's probably already talking with donors because that's what we do.
You get back on your feet.
You beg millionaires for money.
Back to business as usual.
Feeling good.
She's already talking to donors.
Have a glass of water and call this oil magnate.
She's already reaching out to Bush.
She's already reaching out to Romney donors because that's what she's doing.
Yeah, Charles Koch wants the FaceTime.
Have at it.
So that's that pretty revealing.
Thank you, Howard Dean, for letting us know what's really going on.
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Music And now here's a reading from the book Morning Remembrance.
These are fake obituaries of real dead people by Jim Earle.
Phyllis Schlafly, proud Goldwater girl.
Phyllis Schlafly, the conservative icon who proved by example that women can be huge assholes too, is now dead after doing all the damage she could possibly do in 92 years.
A champion of traditional stay-at-home roles for women, Schlafly ran for public office twice, wrote 27 books, and never stayed at home.
Plus her son's gay.
Schlafly once declared that married women can get raped because by marrying, a woman has consented to sex.
Oh, God.
And by marrying Bill Cosby, a woman has also consented to a lifetime of wondering what the hell is in her drink.
At the age of 24, the struggling librarian consented to sex with a man from a wealthy banking family, allowing her to take on the traditional role of a hypocrite marrying for money.
Schlafly opposed the ERA movement because she believed it would only be a matter of time until Americans started demanding co-ed bathrooms, reproductive rights, and gay marriage.
Oh my gosh, she was right.
A vocal Trump supporter, Schlafly says she didn't think a female should be president because, quote, our greatest presidents have all been men.
Which is pretty much the same as saying our greatest men have all been men.
It's stupid, really.
Doesn't make any sense.
But in the end, Schlafly's most cogent and valid argument against giving women equal rights was her very existence.
And so she died.
The deceased has survived by six children.
So I guess she really loved a deep consenting.
Plus, her son's gay.
Ha ha ha ha!
In case you didn't know, Saudi Arabia has been intervening in the Yemen civil war, and they've been bobbing the crap out of everybody.
In fact, a September report by the United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights concluded that by the end of June 2015, almost two-thirds of all civilians killed in the Yemeni conflict since March 26 had died as a result of airstrikes carried out by the Saudis.
So look at that.
Two-thirds of all civilians killed.
Now also on August 24th, the UN Special Representative of the Secretary General for Children and Armed Conflict said that the majority, 73% of the hundreds of children in Yemen killed since the escalation of hostilities were victims of the Saudis.
So they're killing kids in Yemen, right?
So there's a civil war in Yemen.
Saudi decides to stick their nose in and they start bombing everybody, killing civilians.
They're killing children.
And some people in America are saying, hey, maybe we should stop arming Saudi Arabia to go kill kids and innocent people.
One of those people is a Republican named Rand Paul.
Now, why do I bring this up?
Because he was on with Wolf Blitzer.
Now, we all know Wolf Blitzer.
We love Wolf Blitzer, right?
Wolf Blitzer, he's the wolfiest of all the Blitzers.
And so here he is talking with Rand Paul.
And Wolf Blitzer keeps his eye on the ball about what's really important here.
Killing civilians, killing children, or...
At the very least, it begins the debate of whether or not we should be at war.
We are refueling the Saudi bombers.
So we are essentially part of the bombing campaign.
We're helping them choose targets, and we are refueling the Saudi bombers that are dropping the bombs.
It is said that thousands of civilians have died in Yemen because of this.
Yes, we need to have a debate over this.
And I don't know what the president will do, but he ought to come to Congress and ask for permission.
We've given him no authority to get involved in the civil war in Yemen.
And we have to ask the bigger question, is this making it better or worse?
Are there more refugees or less?
Is there more chaos or less chaos with Saudi Arabia bombing into Yemen?
So yeah, it's a debate we ought to have, and no president should unilaterally have this authority without the approval of Congress.
So for you, this is a moral issue because you know there's a lot of jobs at stake.
Certainly, if a lot of these defense contractors stop selling warplanes, other sophisticated equipment to Saudi Arabia, there's going to be a significant loss of jobs and revenue here in the United States.
That's secondary from your standpoint.
That's a news guy.
Yeah.
Can someone check for me right now to see if Wolf Blitzer sits on the board of Raytheon or Halliburton?
Are you kidding me?
What do you think of that?
Well, I'm not surprised.
It's Wolf fucking Blitzer.
Can we use the fucking word?
Yes.
Wolf Blitzer is the same guy that asked this atheist woman if she was happy that God saved her after a tornado tore her.
Yeah, he's an idiot.
He's been an idiot since he was an idiot.
There's no non-idiot Wolf Blitzer.
So no, of course.
There's no surprise here.
The guy's an idiot.
So it's just kind of amazing to me that he's like, so losing jobs is a secondary to you as opposed to killing children.
So you have anywhere else to go?
Like, did he have no other argument basis to put at him?
I don't understand.
I don't understand any of this kind of news, honestly, ever myself.
To me, and listen, I dig, I dig Rand Paul being a non, I mean, he's a peacenick, I suppose, right?
To a certain degree.
Well, he's a non-interventionist, which people say is the traditional conservative position.
Conservative, right?
You're no want to be an adventurist in foreign wars, and that's what he's against.
And in fact, he's against giving a blank check to the president to be able to sell arms or bomb wherever he wants, which I'm on board with, Rand Paul then.
Yeah, yeah, I am too.
We do know, I'm presuming, I'm presuming.
You probably know more about this than I do.
Okay.
So maybe you can tell me whether I have my head up my ass or not on this one.
But isn't there just a there's a screen that Wolf Blitzer is reading and not thinking?
I mean, he's just, he is just saying what's either in his ear or on a screen, right?
Is that what's happening?
I don't know.
Maybe a producer might have prompted that question, or maybe that was one of his pre-questions that I'm going to ask him because they're going to lose a lot of jobs.
I mean, like, it doesn't even go through his brain to go, wow, this sounds really horrible as it's coming out of my mouth.
Oh, my God.
I'm worried more about losing job.
Exactly.
So, exactly what people on the left and anti-war people have been saying since 9-11 that, hey, if there's a war going on, somebody's getting rich.
Well, actually, Smedley Butler started saying that in 1935.
One thing he knows about war is that a handful of people get filthy rich.
And that's what Wolf Blitzer is saying right now.
He's like saying, Hey, I'm all for not killing people, but that's going to cut into our profits.
Are you really saying you want to cut into the profits of defense contractors?
Because I don't know if you know how this whole thing works, but we're propped up by the oil industry, political ads, and the military-industrial complex.
I don't know about if I watch Meet the Press and stuff like that.
Whenever they have an ad for Boeing or Lockheed Martin, I'm always like, who's watching the show that's in the market for a jazz?
I know.
Why are they running ads?
So, my theory is this.
So, they're funding a news organization, but they're not funding their investigations.
They're funding their non-investigations.
They're like, here's a bunch of money.
Please don't investigate us.
So, there's, yeah, I mean, it smells of conspiracy theory.
I got to be honest with you.
Show me the proof that that's going on.
I suppose this is some evidence to that.
Well, for instance, all the way through the Iraq war, I talk about Meet the Press because NBC was owned by General Electric all the way through the Iraq war.
And General Electric, super huge defense contractor.
All the way through.
So, my thing about Brian Williams wasn't that he puffed up his war record.
My problem with Brian Williams is that he, my question to him is: how many checks do you take from a defense contractor in the middle of an illegal war before you stop calling yourself a journalist?
And the answer is endless, right?
So, now they finally sold NBC.
Now, it's only owned by Comcast, who's pushing the TPP.
So, Comcast wants the TPP.
Ed Schultz on MSNBC talks a little too loudly against it.
And guess what?
You don't hear Ed Schultz anymore, do you?
Phil Donahue talked against the Iraq war when they wanted the Iraq war.
And guess what?
You don't hear Phil Donahue anymore either.
I don't know who he's talking about.
That's exactly right.
You do not know who I'm talking about because they got rid of him.
So here we go.
There's Wolf Blitzer.
Like, he doesn't even know to do the, Wolf, you're supposed to kind of dog whistle this in a way.
You're not supposed to just blatantly say to, hey, we're doing this for money.
We're killing people in Yemen for money.
We're selling arms to religious fanatics.
Right.
We're selling arms to religious fanatics so they can go bomb women and children in another, in one of the poorest countries in the world, Yemen.
Right.
So we're doing that because there's money in it, baby.
Come on.
There's money in it.
Do you really want to stop that?
You know, that's literally what Wolf Blitzer's saying.
And people wonder why people get their news from YouTube.
Hey, they hacked Colin Powell's emails.
Oh, thank God.
Colin Powell.
I don't know how he escaped it, but he was one of the guys who let us into the Iraq war.
Okay.
And he didn't stand up against it.
So, by the way, so this is from Lee Fang.
He's a reporter with the intercept.
He says, Colin Powell and mega donor Jeffrey Leeds chat about how much the Clintons hate Obama via newly leaked emails.
So here's what Colin Powell had to say.
You can't read.
I'll read it to you.
It says, I did read Peggy.
I think she's 80% right.
Now it turns out other state people, meaning secretaries, the people at the State Department, people were on the Clinton email.
So none of their emails were captured by the government.
I think Hillary can't believe she might not make it.
It's the one prize she wants.
She has everything else.
And she hates that the president, that man, as the Clintons call him, kicked her ass in 2008.
She can't believe it or accept it.
Wish that were the case.
Oh, and that's the response.
That's from Jeffrey Leeds.
That's how much revealing how much the Clintons hated Barack Obama.
Refer to him as that man.
That's in a private email leak.
This is great.
Here's also from Jeffrey Leeds.
She got in trouble too.
No one likes her and the criminal thing ain't over.
I don't think the president would weep if she found herself in real legal trouble.
She'll pummel his legacy if she gets a chance and he knows it.
That's from March of this year.
That's from Jeffrey Lee, big donor to Colin Powell.
She's got trouble too.
No one likes her.
People don't like her.
They didn't like her in 2008.
That's why she lost last time.
And back in 2015, Leeds and Powell discussed Hillary's health.
Sheldon Whitehouse, who is a huge Clinton supporter, said they were both giving speeches at the same event a few months back, and she could barely climb the podium steps.
That's from 2015.
Not sure, but she has launched a storyline that will be picked up.
I think there is something to it.
On HDTV, she doesn't look good.
She is working herself to death.
After speaking at the UN and doing the Crummy Press Conference, she flew to San Francisco to go to a paid gig for eBay and then went to Mark's house to get ready for a money dinner for the Clinton Foundation.
I was in Mark's second house behind it and ducked her so we didn't turn loose another email story by being seen together.
She then flew back east the next morning.
She will turn 70 her first year in office.
Isn't that amazing that he's already referring to her as she's going to win already?
And that's back in March of 2015.
I can't believe they were both in Mark Marin's place.
That really pisses me, I tell you.
This is also from The Intercept.
Colin Powell urged Hillary Clinton's team not to scapegoat him for her private server.
Leaked emails reveal.
Oh, really?
What did he say?
He's a sad thing, Powell wrote to one confidant.
Hillary Rodham Clinton could have killed this two years ago by merely telling everyone honestly what she had done and not try to tie me to it.
I told her staff three times not to try that gambit.
I had to throw a mini tantrum at a Hamptons party to get their attention.
She keeps tripping into these character minefields, Paul Powell lamented.
He noted that he had tried to settle the matter by meeting with Clinton age Cheryl Mills in August.
And unlike Clinton, Powell never set up a private server.
Instead, he used his personal AOL account on a server maintained by AOL and used a government computer for classified communications.
The article concludes with Powell saying, dumb.
She should have done a full Monty at the beginning.
I warned her staff three times over the past two years not to try to connect me, connect it to me.
I am not sure Hillary Rodham Clinton even knew or understood what was going on in the basement.
I love it.
I love it.
I love that Colin Powell's emails got hacked.
I love that he reveals the hubris of the Clinton campaign.
I love that he's warned them not to do this.
I love that he says she trips into character minefields.
What does that mean?
That they don't have character.
They don't have any character.
This is our nominee.
She could have killed this two years just by telling everybody and boom, boom.
So I love this.
I love all this.
I love how no one lies.
I love how it's all coming out.
Well, I think I'm missing something here.
Do we know in this email who is the he that they're referring to?
She'll pummel his legacy if she gets expensive.
Obama.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
His legacy.
Obama.
Okay.
Obama's legitimate.
Okay.
Huh?
I love this.
I love this WikiLeak stuff.
I love it.
I love when the powerful get exposed.
And that's exactly what everybody knew.
That's exactly what we've been saying here.
And the media media, the lefty media has been gaslighting the country.
And it's being revealed.
How about that Sheldon White House said in 2015 she could barely walk up on the stage?
Was she overheated, you think?
You think she had pneumonia?
I mean, the only kind of pneumonia Parkinson's patients get?
It's an interesting theory.
But it's that sweet eBay money, man.
You show up when eBay calls.
You never say no.
I think it's kind of funny, though, too, just how much the powerful are like a big school lunchroom.
Yes.
Chitter-chattering away with their emails and rumors.
Nobody likes her.
Yeah.
Can you believe she's running for student government?
I can.
She's not going to be queen.
I'll tell you right now.
She's too old for the prime committee.
It's just kind of common sense like this could have been like Republican has some common sense opinions.
And I'm like, yeah, that sort of adds up.
And then I think this is the guy that helped get us into Iraq.
Well, he's a military guy, so he goes along with power, right?
So if power wanted him to sell an illegal war, he was like, all right, I've seen enough.
I knew it was a complete lie.
And anybody knew it was a complete lie.
Lie or not, it was completely pointless.
And point and counterproductive, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Look, we're still paying for it.
Trillions of dollars later, we're still paying for it.
How are you going to pay for that Iraq war?
Nobody ever asked that question, Hank.
I was for it.
First time I heard Bush talk, I say, let's go to war.
Screw Al Gore.
We don't need him.
You were for the Spanish-American War, too.
Yeah, that's what I heard.
That's right.
I was for the War of 1812.
I can't believe they stopped that one.
Yeah.
We got to stop selling arms to the Middle East and just start shooting arms over there.
Landing them at high speed.
I'm glad we didn't have email back when the big three were meeting.
Stalin, FDR, and Churchill, you know, Churchill was hammered all the time.
Yeah, Churchill calling FDR gumlegs and Stalin.
That would have been a Facebook threat.
That would have been.
Yeah, that would have been rough.
That would have ruined the whole Allied power trio there, and we would have lost World War II.
Is Powell just, I mean, this is private, but what's his, what's he up to these days?
I mean, is this just sort of staying in the mix because people still listen to him?
Well, he's going to a lot of parties.
Apparently, he's going to some Hamptons parties.
Mark's house.
Yeah, I mean, I'm not suggesting he's like up to something bad here or whatever, but I think it's just that thing where you wanted to be close to where all the actions are.
Yes, that's Colin Powell.
He's in the middle of it.
He's going to all the parties.
Still, he's at the Hamptons.
Yeah.
He laughs at Tucker Carlson.
He does.
I'm sure they all think he's funny.
I'm sure they do.
Bow ties are pretty funny.
Anyway, fantastic.
And you wonder why she can't pull ahead of Donald Trump.
I don't think she could beat Rob Ford at this point.
And he's dead.
You know how I feel.
I feel that the Democratic National Committee and all the establishment liberals, like people, everybody at MSNBC, everybody at CNN, everybody at Vox, everybody at The Nation, everybody, they all gaslighted us about Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton.
They gaslighted us.
They said that Hillary Clinton was a stronger candidate.
Bernie will never get anything done.
Meanwhile, it's come out that we know that they knew Bernie was the stronger candidate.
They knew Hillary was the weaker candidate, which is why they put the thumb on the scale for her to make sure she won.
And why did they want her to win instead of Bernie?
Because they don't want revolutionaries taking over their party.
The donor class and the rich people and the corporatists and the military-industrial complex and the big pharma and Wall Street wants to keep power at the Democratic Party where it is with money.
So that's like, we'd rather risk losing to Trump than risk winning without the guy who's in bed with Wall Street.
Do you get what I'm saying?
I've been saying that.
That's been revealed that that's what they were doing.
They gaslighted us to say that somehow Hillary was the better candidate and he couldn't get all that stuff was bull.
We now know that was bull.
So now, and I showed you how Chris Hayes had a freak out with Joan Walsh and a room full of liberals about that Hillary's a warmonger and she's hanging out with war criminals.
And how can she whack her finger at Donald Trump if she's hanging out with war criminals?
How could she call the people that support him a basket of deplorables if she's hanging out with war criminals, which she is, Negro Ponte, Kissinger?
So I'm watching Chris Hayes and get this his new.
And I've always said that it's better for progressives if Donald Trump is president, because if Hillary Clinton is president, what happens?
She splits the opposition to her right-wing neoliberal policies.
You know why everybody in Wall Street wants her to win over Trump?
Everybody in the military industrial complex wants her to win over Trump.
Everybody in big pharma, big oil, they all want her to win over Trump.
Why?
Because she does their bidding and they know it.
And he's a wild card.
They can't control him.
So everybody in the establishment money is getting behind Hillary Clinton.
And I've been saying that's a mistake.
That if Donald Trump is president, it's actually better for progressives because the natural opposition coalesces around him.
We get all the independents, all the Democrats and the Purple State Republicans to come on our side to oppose him.
Plus, he's an incompetent and he won't be able to get anything done.
Whereas Hillary will get stuff done and it'll be right-wing stuff.
Like right now, Barack Obama is pushing the TPP.
So that's all setting you up for this clip.
I'm watching Chris Hayes and Chris Hayes says this.
So my belief is if Hillary Clinton wins election day, the GOP will essentially snap back to fighting shape basically the next day and will go into full oppose Hillary Clinton mode, oppose, oppose, oppose, and be fine and be more or less the kind of the same party we've seen.
If Donald Trump wins, the GOP, as we know it, is over.
What did he, what?
So electing Donald Trump, if you are an anti-GOP, an anti-GOPist agenda, it would behoove us to vote for him because he will destroy the Republican parties.
That's exactly what I've been saying.
I'm here with Ron Placone, Jim Earl, and Hank Thompson.
Hi, Hank.
How are you?
That's exactly what I've been saying.
And now they're saying it on corporate-owned, Comcast-owned, pro-TPP-owned.
Chris Hayes is saying that.
Go ahead.
I have always been very afraid of that 10-minute time count when Trump is in the White House and North Korea lobs a missile somewhere or Russia has there's a false alarm with an ICBM coming at us and he does the wrong thing.
That's the thing I worry about the most.
Because Hillary has a track record of doing the right thing militarily.
No, I think she will just invade Iraq and destabilize the Middle East and then destabilize Libya and then want to bomb Syria and create a no-fly zone over Syria so we have a conflict with Russia.
She just wants to do that stuff, but she wouldn't do a nuke.
She would Do the craziest, fucking worst things in the world, but I don't think she would launch a nuke.
A nuke is the craziest fucking thing in the world.
What you're talking about that she did is conventional warfare, which makes a hell of a lot of money.
All right.
Well, I'm just saying I have a different point of view.
Nuclear war doesn't make any money.
Nuclear war doesn't make any money.
And he really is a wild card.
You know what the cleanup is called?
She's on a wild card.
You know what she's going to do.
She's going to be a war hawk.
But I don't think she's going to act like a complete mental breakdown asshole when the nuclear warheads are coming at us.
All right, let's see what this guy.
Hang on.
We'll come to you, Ron.
Let's see what the.
So he throws it to a right-winger from RedState.com.
Yeah, I mean, I think that it's the difference between being pushed out into the wilderness and being stranded on Mars.
You know, you've got two situations.
One where we could have our agenda isn't getting pushed for the next four years, but we have a shot at getting it pushed in the next eight, 10, 12 years.
Whereas if Trump wins, my feeling is just based on how he's been, what he's said, everything that he's shown, how uncontrollable he is, and the fact that, yes, I do think he's a bit of a sociopath.
I think that we will push ourselves so far out of the American mainstream that we won't be able to win future elections.
And that hurts conservatism.
It really upsets people when I say it that way.
People on the right, they say, oh, so the most conservative thing is to vote for Hillary Clinton?
Yeah.
Wow.
So he's saying the conservatives need Hillary to win to survive.
To save the Republican Party, they need Hillary to win.
God damn it, I've been saying this.
God damn it.
I've been saying this.
I've been fucking saying this.
And I've been called dangerous.
The young Turks have called me dangerous.
They say I'm crazy.
I'm privileged.
They've said it on the Young Turks about me.
And here it is on MS fucking NBC.
They're saying the same thing I've been saying.
That's a guy from Red State saying that there's nothing in him for him to have Hillary win instead of.
He's saying that if Donald Trump becomes president, it will destroy the Republic.
They'll have to start new parties.
You know, there is something a little off-putting about having a guy with his thumb on the button where if someone insults with that thumb, it looks like he will pull the button.
I mean, that's a little disheartening, but it's a weird place to be.
This election, I feel like on one side, you have the worst Democratic candidate ever in my lifetime, but on the other side, you have maybe the worst candidate ever in the history of the presidency.
So what do you really do?
I mean, I feel good that I live in the state of California where I can use my vote to make a statement, but not everybody has that luxury.
So if you're against the Republican Party and the GOB agenda, you're going to choose Hillary Clinton over the destruction of the Republican Party.
But here's my question, though, to that, and I do see that perspective, but what about the whole thing with, I mean, Trump does not want to be president.
This is just a megalomaniacal wet dream on his part.
So really, I mean, it's like, what is Mike Pence going to do?
Trump has pulled ahead in Ohio, just so you know, as of this taping.
So he throws it to, I forget this guy's name, or I'll know it in a second.
So the panelist says that there's been this fight going on inside the Republican Party.
And they're fractured, right?
They can't figure out, that's why nobody wanted to be the speaker.
John Boehner hated it.
They had to twist Paul Ryan's arm to come because they don't have an identity now.
They can't coalesce around an agenda, right?
Because you got the Tea Parties, you got the corporate, the wing of the, you got all these crazy, and you got the religious crazies, so you got too many, and it's hard to govern them.
And he's saying there's this fight going on.
And now if Donald Trump becomes president, they've been supposed to have that conversation about who are we as a party, the Republicans.
They haven't had it yet.
They haven't figured it out.
And he says if Hillary Clinton becomes president, they won't have that conversation.
But if Donald Trump has it, here's what he says.
If Trump wins, then I think that that debate doesn't even, I mean, that debate's over, right?
The party is basically over.
It's fractured so permanently that it could become a regional party.
There could be different coalitions, but it's not going to be that, you know, this debate is going to be completely obsolete.
Although, but let's not forget that the GOP is not going to stand up to Donald Trump.
Yes, right.
I mean, if Donald Trump does the wrong things, if he embraces the farthest left agenda you can imagine, they're all going to pretend it is the new conservative rebirth.
I mean, that's how they operate.
I had someone the other day who was...
So my whole point is if you're against the Republican GOP agenda, how can you vote for Hillary Clinton?
These guys all just said on Comcast-owned MSNBC, Chris Hayes in his $6,000 suit is sitting there telling us that Donald Trump, the silver lining, is if he becomes president, it destroys the Republican Party.
The guy can't govern.
So here's my last point on that.
I guess my feeling is the two things that I most identify that are the clearest in this, or the three things are, you know, trade deals, renegotiate NAFTA, build the wall, ban Muslims.
But like, is Paul Ryan going to shepherd that through a house?
No.
So you're worried about Donald Trump's agenda?
Did you hear what he just said?
Paul Ryan's going to shepherd that through the House?
No.
And in two years, the House flips Democrat, and so does the Senate anyway.
If Trump is president, flips, then we got a Democrat.
We got, and then we can elect a real progressive in two more years.
Everyone has it wrong.
Everyone's scared, making decisions out of fear, voting for Hillary Clinton out of fear.
How you could vote for Hillary Clinton?
We have the farthest right-wing candidate the Democrats have ever nominated, and the Republicans have the farthest right-wing candidate they've ever nominated.
How can you say the two-party system is serving us?
How can you say that that's going to, if that fixes anything?
So you're going to vote for Jill Stein?
Yes.
Wouldn't it better serve your purpose to vote for Donald Trump?
No, I'm not voting for a fact.
I'm not voting for a fascist.
No, I get to vote for someone who represents my opinion.
But Donald Trump, your vote is going to be wasted on Jill Stein.
No, it's not.
You don't build a movement in five minutes, Jim.
Yeah, but we're done with the Democratic Party.
The Democratic Party is a graveyard for progressives, a graveyard.
The whole premise of this segment is that Donald Trump will be a boon for the progressive movement.
Yes.
Then vote for him.
I'm not voting for a fascist.
But a vote for Jill Stein is also a vote saying that this two-party system is broken.
And that's a statement that, especially in a state like California, you can make that statement.
Yes, but in California, it won't make any difference.
It's just, it's.
I'm saying it's symbolic.
You build movements, and these Democrats don't represent me.
So there you go.
A vote for Hillary is a vote for the GOP establishment.
A vote against Hillary destroys the GOP.
I'm voting to destroy the GOP.
You do what you want.
Hillary already told us to vote our conscience.
This is Jimmy.
Jeremy, it's Rick.
Oh, Governor Perry, how are you?
Fucking great, Jambo.
I don't know if you've heard, but the other or not, I was on DWTS.
DWTS.
I'm sorry.
What?
DWTS, dash it with the Stars.
DWTS is what we call it.
Who's we?
People in the know, like the kids and cool people and whatnot.
First of all, it's unbelievable that you're on Dancing with the Stars.
That is amazing.
I thought it was like a gift, birthday gift or something, but it's true.
You're really on it.
Thank you.
I know it's pretty great.
It is unbelievable.
How did you do?
I didn't get a chance to see it, Rick.
How did you do on the show?
Fucking great, man.
Did some sexy Mexican dancewear this week, Bullfighter type outfit.
And everyone was watching me and everything.
It was like, oh, my God.
I guess that's great, Governor.
I was like super nervous beforehand.
I was like, what if I freeze her if I can't remember a step or something?
I mean, I've only slow danced with drunk dudes before this.
When did you slow down?
When did you slow dance with drunk men?
What?
Oh, you know, and the Boy Scouts, you know, just the way people do, and, you know, when you're in Boy Scouts.
So, as I understand it, this is a competition show.
You've never seen the show?
No.
Oh, come on.
You watch.
You just don't want people to know about it.
I really don't watch, Rick.
Well, you got to watch it.
It's so much fun.
It's like, you think it's not going to be fun, but then it totally is.
So, this is a competitive show.
How did you do scoring-wise, Rick?
Oh, honey, I don't care about that.
I'm just so happy to finally express myself through the medium of dance.
What do you mean, finally?
Oh, I always wanted to dance, Jimmy, ever since I was little.
I was like, I want to dance, mama.
And she was always like, no, son of mine, it's going to be some fairy prancing around on the stage like all those black Alvin Ailey types.
Now go to your room and play with your guns.
Your mother sounds pretty tough.
Tough, Jimmy?
My mother was a fourth-generation Texan.
That's as close as a woman can get to being a man without growing a dick.
Jesus.
Every morning that woman wake up, take a hot poker from the fire and cauterize her own wounds from the day before.
Then she'd do her morning chores.
I once saw her punch a bull she thought had sassed her.
I don't mean like punching cattle.
I mean she focused her fist and right crossed that ball in the jaw.
Then she reached down his throat and took out its still-beating heart and ate it in front of me.
Wow.
Fucking a wow.
You and I both know there's a lot more to that Rick Perry phone call, but we don't have time in today's podcast.
We already went over it.
We're over an hour already.
It went by that fast.
I hope you enjoyed today's show.
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Hey, guess what?
That's it.
Today's show was, hey, how about a big thanks to all my guests?
Ron Placone, comedian Ron Placone, thanks for sitting in.
Emery Emery, Heather Henderson from the Ardent Atheist podcast, Jim Earl, Hank Thompson.
Guess what?
Mike McRae did all the voices today.
And today's show was written by Mike McRae, Frank Conniff, Steph Zamorano, Mark Van Landuit, Jim Earl, and Robert Yasamura.
Hey, guess what?
That's it for this week.
Until next week, this is Jimmy Dore saying you be the best you can be, and I'll keep being me.
That are cute.
Do not freak out.
Do not do not do not do not do not do nothing.
I'm not kidding.
I'm not kidding.
Do not freak out.
Do not freak out.
I'm not freak out.
I'm not.
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