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Sept. 3, 2016 - Jimmy Dore Show
01:01:31
20160903_The_Jimmy_Dore_Show_9-2-16
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Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program.
The Jimmy Dore Show!
The Jimmy Dore Show!
The Jimmy Dore Show!
Hello, this is Jimmy Door.
Who is this?
Um, yes, this is Hillary supporter.
Oh, hey, Hillary supporter.
How are you?
Um, actually.
Actually, what?
No, that's my answer.
Um, actually, instead of saying fine or same-oh, same-oh, or some other milquetoast, patriarchal bullshit response to common pleasantries, a lot of us have just started saying, um, actually.
It's the new thing.
It's sort of sad you don't even know about it.
Ha!
Thank you.
Okay, who's us?
People who sound like me and say the sorts of things that I do.
All right.
All right, then.
And on a related note, keep an eye out for the upcoming social justice rom-com, um, actually, starring Hugh Grant and Greta Gerwig about a Star-Crossed couple who just argue on Reddit and never actually meet in real life.
Okay, Hillary supporter.
Let's talk about Hillary.
Quite frankly, you don't even deserve to get to talk about Hillary.
She's above you.
I thought she said that if she were elected, she would be president of all Americans.
Not you.
Well, she's running for president, and this is my job.
How do you feel about her campaign right now?
I feel great.
So good, I almost left my apartment.
She's flying high despite all the attempts from garbage people to bring her down.
Like, from who?
Well, from Anthony Wiener for starters.
Oh, right.
Right.
He's back in business, isn't he?
Yes.
And here we clearly have another Bernie bro type person, Brian, to subvert Hillary's campaign.
Yeah, he did make another awful mistake, but I don't see exactly...
What a cop-out.
What a cop-out.
His wife, Huma Abadine, is one of Hillary's most trusted advisors.
He was clearly trying to publicly humiliate his wife so as to bring a sexualized, gendered sense of shame on the Clinton campaign with his awful, shameful penis.
What?
He sent disgusting pictures of his dirty phallus all over the internet.
What do you think he was trying to do?
He was clearly thinking of Hillary the whole time.
I think he was probably thinking about cheating on his wife.
Or at least the thrill he gets from sexting with strangers.
As unacceptable as that behavior is, I don't really think he expected them to be leaked publicly.
Oh, please give me a break.
If you take nudes of yourself over the internet, you know that you run the risk of getting hacked and exposed.
It's risky behavior, especially if you're in the public spotlight.
You mean like Jennifer Lawrence and Leslie Jones?
Oh, how dare you?
Those are strong, amazing women exploring their sexuality and power, and they should have a complete expectation of privacy.
Their hacks were rape culture, and Anthony Weiner's hack was an exposure of rape culture.
See the difference?
End of story.
QED.
Makes perfect sense.
I'm with her.
Okay, fine.
Let me ask you this.
No.
No.
Hillary Clinton has now gone over 260 days without giving any kind of press conference or really putting herself in any position where she opens herself up to reporters' questions.
Don't you think this type of lack of transparency doesn't really bode well for her campaign?
Oh my god, you disgust me.
What?
You disgust me so much.
Why is that disgusting, Hillary supporter?
I can't believe that I even talked to you.
I should talk to a real comedian like Arthur Chu.
Well, you could do both if you wanted to.
Okay, quit trying to eliminate my choice.
If I want to make it an either or, then I can.
Okay, sorry.
Why is that question so disgusting?
Because it is so clearly about Hillary being a woman.
That's why.
It's one of this bullshit misogyny that she has to deal with on a daily basis.
And I, for one, am getting so sick of it.
Literally ill.
Like, I feel fatigued.
I literally can't stop crying.
What does this possibly have to do with her being a woman?
Trump has been roundly criticized for bouncing reporters that he doesn't like or who write for publications who haven't dealt with him kindly for him.
This is different, though.
People are actually calling for Hillary Clinton to come forward and answer their questions.
People are literally doing that, Jimmy.
This isn't some sort of joke.
This is actually happening.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha ha!
Ah!
Ah!
Right.
She's running for president.
People have questions about her stances on issues, and I'm not sure I see the problem here.
You are making me so sad mad right now.
I swear I'm not trying to be mean.
I'm just trying to understand.
I'm so sick and tired of this notion that women are supposed to be constantly explaining themselves, that they have to justify their actions or beliefs in any way.
Women have to deal with this constantly on a daily basis.
How are you?
Did you get that email I sent you?
Room for a cream?
Quite frankly, it's a form of gendered aggression.
If you think about it, asking a question, any question, as a means of inducing an answer that includes information is a form of violence.
Jesus.
Violence?
Yes, violence.
In the sense that it is a forceful extraction of information, whether consciously voluntary or not on the part of the woman.
That is leveraged maybe not through physical violence per se, but rather by a social convention that expects a dutiful response to a presented query.
A social convention, needless to say, instituted by straight white males.
Look at our legal system.
A quote-unquote trial is nothing but a series of questions levied at people who are supposed to sit down.
And that's how we get to the truth, as opposed to a wise woman of color simply intuiting what has happened.
What a joke!
I'm not sure I understand what you're talking about.
Of course not.
How could you?
What a joke.
The point is, questions are violence.
And since these Hillary haters know they cannot inflict actual physical violence on Hillary, they're trying to use questions as a proxy.
Wow.
And what do they want to know anyway?
What do they want to know?
What's just so important that the press needs to find out?
What do they want to know?
Listen to me.
A bunch of baloney about her emails.
more Ben Glozzy, Flozzy, Who Cares Us Ozzy?
Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!
Yeah.
Well, to be fair, there are legitimate questions about her involvement with the Clinton Foundation while she was Secretary of State.
Oh, yeah.
And what about it?
It's her foundation.
It's hers.
You need to know.
And what if she did trade political access for donations to her charity?
Is that some sort of problem?
Actually, yes, absolutely.
Well, I don't care.
She's amazing.
I'm glad she did it.
I'm glad she got endorsed by Henry Kissinger and is a war hawk or whatever.
Who cares?
I'm glad.
She is a strong, amazing woman, and you don't get to criticize her, and you have a small penis.
Wow.
Okay.
And I'm glad she killed people.
How about that?
I'll tweet that.
I don't care.
I'm glad.
When George W. Bush killed people, he's lifted up as some sort of hero.
But when Hillary does it, she's some sort of shrill harpy that kills people.
I'm sorry, but that is insanely sexist.
Hillary supporter, I have to hand it to you.
You are really good at finding a bunch of scattered opinions that a handful of people have and Frankensteining them together into one big narrative that literally no one thinks or believes.
I'm not sure what you mean by that, but I'm going to take it as a compliment, but also at the same time, not be grateful and be insulted by it.
That's fine.
Okay, well, I have to go.
I have to go teach a symposium for stand-up comics on how to completely bald-facedly support Hillary Clinton without losing any credibility whatsoever.
I love my heart, treat that!
It's the Jimmy Dore Show.
The show for people that are comments maybe on tearing down our nation.
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper save.
It's hard to talk to you, T. And now, there's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore.
Hey, everybody, welcome to this week's Jimmy Dore show.
I'm here in the studio with Jim Earle, former writer for the Daily Show, Emmy Award winner, and the author of Morning Remembrance, fake obituaries of real dead people.
He's right here.
It's Jim Earl.
Hey, Jim.
Hey, Jimmy, it's great to be here today again here in sunny Pasadena, Altadena.
It is sunny and hot.
That's right.
It's 90 degrees.
Also here with us is hilarious comedian Hank Thompson.
Hey, Hank.
Hello.
Congratulations on making it to another September.
Yes.
Oh, it is September.
That's right.
Hey, let's get to some jokes before we get to the jokes.
You know, Donald Trump visited Mexico yesterday as we go to tape.
It was yesterday.
And holding true to his rhetoric against rapists and criminals, he refused to let himself back in over the border.
He's not a big wall climber, that guy.
Not a big.
Do you get that joke?
I got that joke.
He himself.
I understood it.
He's a criminal.
He's got a pass.
Rapey guy.
Yeah.
He struggles to climb a bed.
He's a big man.
He's into bed, I should have been.
And just next time you see Donald Trump, just look how long his tie is.
Why is his tie that long?
Because it has to go over his gut.
That's why.
His tie used to be probably about 12 inches shorter about 20 years ago.
Look at a picture of his tie from the 80s.
Look at a picture of his tie from today.
He's got about an extra, I don't know, 10, 12 inches on that tie.
Anyway, you know, Trump fans were so delighted with his immigration speech.
They celebrated by bashing a pinata in the shape of the U.S. Constitution.
That's a nice joke.
Trump still insists that Mexico is going to pay for his wall.
No, he still insisted that, Jim.
What?
I'm not kidding.
That's what it says right here.
But Mexico's president denied agreeing to that and said they probably subcontracted out to a cousin from Honduras.
That happened to me.
You know, doing the bathroom remodeling in the bathroom.
Your guy subcontracted it out to his cousin from Honduras, yeah.
Bing bang boom.
You know, the white audience at Trump's Mexican outreach speech loved him as much as the white audience at Trump's black outreach speech.
There you go.
That's it.
That's why they call it the white reach around speech.
It is the white reach around.
And also, Georgetown University on the race front, they apologize.
This is a true story.
This week, the Georgetown apologized for its slaveholding past and said they're going to, because the university, George Washington University, actually sold a couple hundred slaves so they could pay their bills a couple hundred years ago.
So they could get a football team.
100 years later.
It apologized for its slaveholding and said that they're going to give descendants of slaves an advantage in the admission process.
What's the first step?
Re-enslave them with student loan debt.
Am I right?
Playboll.
Hey, did you know there's a new poll found that 59% of Americans don't think Hillary Clinton is honest.
59% of Americans don't think Hillary Clinton is honest.
She's only beat by Trump, who gets 61% of Americans don't think he's honest.
I heard there's a poll that 41% of Americans suck at detecting honesty.
Oh, think about that.
Think about that.
That's right.
That's like 41% or for 39%.
Yeah.
They're like, yeah, I think he's pretty.
I'll think he's pretty.
I'd like to buy some more of those Trump steaks that are out of business.
These Trump steaks taste like chicken.
So this new poll found that 59% of Americans think Hillary's dishonest.
61% of Americans think Trump is dishonest.
And that poll had a 3% margin of what's the fucking point anyway.
Playful.
That's the margin.
It had 3% margin of what's the point anymore.
You know, it's reassuring to the 40% of the population.
It's just giving the benefit of the doubt to terrible people.
Yes.
Yes.
What's coming up on today's show?
Lots of stuff.
I'm going to fill this in later.
Plus, we got phone calls today.
Hillary supporter calls in.
Plus, the offended listener calls in.
That's a back-to-back.
Plus, President Barack Obama himself calls in today.
So we got three big phone calls.
Oh, that I love that Hillary supporter and offended.
Oh, come on.
That makes my day.
Plus, we're going to take a look at videos that Jill Stein PBS edited out some stuff from her.
Yeah.
Also, we take a look at the lefty media covering for the Clintons.
And Anderson Cooper reveals what news journalism is all about with Stephen Colbert.
Plus, Hillary Clinton, does she want to keep the Congress Republican?
We're going to find out.
The answer just may surprise you.
Or will it?
So that's coming up.
Plus, a lot more.
That's today on the Jimmy Dore Show.
you So Anderson Cooper was on Stephen Colbert's show the other night.
He's a newsman.
Anderson Cooper is the classic riches to riches story.
He was born a struggling Vanderbilt who grew up on the mean streets of Fifth Avenue.
Oh.
From Yale, Anderson worked at CIA.
Yeah.
From Yale, he went to the CIA, which imparted valuable knowledge he still utilizes at CNN.
If you tell the truth, they'll kill you.
Anderson Cooper's rise at CNN was his unique ability of going to natural disasters in distant countries and standing out his hotel room in a form-fitting t-shirt looking concerned.
Anderson has done pretty good for a descendant of the richest American in human history.
Why do I bring him up?
Because he was on the thing.
And you're going to listen to Stephen Colbert.
Stephen Colbert, by the way, is doing a more frivolous, less important show.
Now, he did so well at his great show that he got promoted to do a show with very little cultural impact, unlike his previous show, which had tons of it.
Am I wrong about that?
Yeah.
No, you're not wrong.
I'm just prejudiced because I don't like anybody who gets up and dances in a funny way and rubs elbows with Henry Kissinger.
Henry fucking kissing.
You know, great men have great flaws, and I'll give Stephen Colbert a pass on that one.
I won't because, you know.
But his show was fantastic.
It's for money.
All right.
So anyway, here he is.
And let's watch this interview.
Watch this question that Stephen did.
Let's get it out.
Okay.
Let Donald Trump.
His campaign.
You had Kelly M. Conway, his new campaign manager.
Did you also interview Paul Manafort?
I'm sure, right?
Yeah, I did, I think, one or two.
I think at least one.
So he was a previous campaign.
And then Corey Lewandowski was the manager before.
Oh, Corey Lewandowski, who now works at CNN.
They're still doing that thing where I'm higher than you.
You're like a child.
You have to sit lower.
I'm sitting higher.
You're sitting lower.
That'd be like if I had a guest on here and I just put his chair down.
How are you doing?
But since there's a desk in between them, I guess that's acceptable.
That is crazy that they still do that.
Anyway, so they're talking about the Trump campaign.
And Stephen Colbert is asking him, like, hey, wait a minute.
You guys are paying Corey Lewandowski, Trump's campaign manager, to come on your show and give his opinion.
You're paying him for his opinion, but at the same time, he's being paid by Trump.
Watch.
He works for you guys.
Does he still get any money from the Trump people at the same time?
I read he gets a severance, a continuing severance from the Trump.
He believes he read.
First of all, I know it.
You don't think.
So, Mr. Newsman, not sure exactly what's happening underneath his frickin nose?
You're not really sure what's happening over at CNN?
I believe I read.
Where'd you read it?
The back of an electric box?
I'm fucking Wilshire.
Where did you read?
What do you believe I read?
Just looking at Anderson Cooper right now as he's glaring at Colbert, it's like, where is this questioning going?
Yeah, oh, yeah, he sees it.
He knows what's happening because he knows what they're doing is 100% unethical.
That's why.
Okay, here we go.
Y'all are paying him, and Trump is paying him, but he's on your show doing analysis for a man he still gets cash from.
Pretty much.
Yeah, I guess that's one way to look at it.
I mean, it.
Yeah, I mean, I guess that's one way to look at it.
You could look at it like that we're a complete corrupt organization, just shilling for money.
We do false equivalencies.
We replace objectivity with neutrality, and now I'm richer than most of the people I report on.
You can look at it like that.
Or you can look at it like a reporter and say, yeah, this is unbelievably unethical.
This has nothing to do with the search for the truth.
This is all about selling stuff.
That has nothing to do with the news.
In fact, it's a disservice to our viewers.
And it's really a mockery of the entire profession that we do this.
You can look at it like that.
Either way, you could look at it one or the other.
Either, you know, I'm this guy, I'm this court, this guy who enjoys the money and rubbing shoulders with really important people.
And I don't care that we commit unbelievably ethics violations.
You know, Fox News had hired Newt Gingrich to come on and give his opinion about, to give analysis.
They're paying him to come on and give analysis.
Fox News stopped that relationship when he was in consideration to be vice president for Donald Trump.
You know why?
Because there's a conflict of interest.
Nobody can really trust what he's saying when he comes on because we know that he has a conflict, that if he tells us the truth about something, it probably will hurt his chances to be vice president.
So we really can't trust what he's saying.
CNN goes, who cares?
Who cares if the people we bring out are liars?
Who cares if they're being paid by the person that we want him to tell the truth about to not tell the truth?
Who cares if he's being paid to give prop that's called propaganda.
You're now paying someone to do propaganda.
And to hear how Stephen Colbert put it, let's hear how he puts it.
And you still respect his opinion, too, will you?
You better not ask any more questions like that, or Anderson won't want to come on his comedy show.
And you, right?
Yeah.
So there again, there's access to, oh, wait a minute.
So he, that's this, by the way, that's as tough as Stephen gets on him.
He goes real easy the rest of the interview.
That was it.
That was it.
And you still respect his opinion?
And I'm sure a lot of people miss that, right?
Because if you make that point too loudly, Anderson Cooper won't come back on your show.
We have people from all the campaigns.
And we have like campaign surrogates for Hillary Clinton on.
And what is a surrogate, by the way?
Is that person?
I've heard that term a lot.
What is somebody who represents the campaign?
They're often paid by the.
Yeah.
Well, you know, a surrogate, let me answer that question.
A surrogate, well, CNN is a surrogate for an actual news organization.
That's what a surrogate is.
They're kind of like they speak for news, but they're not really news.
CNN is paying Lewandowski $500,000 for his amazing rating getting opinions.
Are you kidding me?
$500,000.
You mean the guy?
Corey Lewis.
That's his punishment.
By the way, Corey Lewandowski couldn't have been more of an anti-journalism guy, right?
Anti-free press.
Would revoke your press credentials if you asked tough questions.
He couldn't be a more despicable guy when it comes to the press.
And what does CNN go?
Hey, here's some money.
He grabbed that woman, grabbed that woman.
He was charged with battery of a reporter.
A bunch of people from Breitbart resigned over it.
Yeah.
That's how bad it was distasteful to reporters from Breitbart.
They're just giving the people what they want.
Americans want Corey Lewandowski on their story.
You know what?
I didn't used to watch CNN that much.
Maybe I'll tune in every so often.
I definitely no longer watch CNN because of Lewandowski.
Right.
Because of that.
I used to watch CNN all the time when it was still owned and run by what's his face, the founder.
Ted Turner.
Ted Turner.
Back then, it was the only thing.
Right.
You know, when I was at the daily show, for which I received two awards for Russia.
Yeah.
Anyway, when I was there, that was the thing that was constantly on the monitor because there wasn't anything.
There wasn't anything else on.
And from my memory, it actually had some journalism on there.
Well, yeah, I agree with the only one.
Yeah.
But right now, though, Jim, CNN is so inexperienced at discerning the truth that they've outsourced their fact-checking.
No, seriously, they have outsourced their fact-checking to factcheck.org.
We've done that story that they're announcing, hey, we're now hooking up with factcheck.org.
They're going to check the facts.
That's unbelievable.
CNN, when news is happening, we bring you Trump's latest tweet.
LAUGHTER MUSIC "Denis" by Ben Thede.
Just to be clear, the Democratic Party does not endorse corruption.
And that's why Joe Biden, Barack Obama, and Hillary Clinton went down to Florida to campaign for Debbie Wasserman Schultz, you know, the person who had to resign her position for unethical behavior.
So on paper, they're against unethical behavior.
In practice, they're not.
And why do I bring this up?
Because Donna Brazil, this week on the ABC, and they asked her about some unethical behavior.
And hold on to your hats.
Now, Donna Brazil, very nice lady.
I met her at the RNC.
She's very, very nice in person, just like all these people.
They're all nice people one-on-one, just like cops.
They're very nice one-on-one.
The problem is the system is corrupt, and they're propping it up, and she's part of it.
So she's part of propping up a corrupt system instead of fighting it because it serves her.
I get it.
I want to move to the Clinton Foundation.
There was major news about Secretary Clinton this week.
Newly released emails obtained by ABC News show that Clinton Foundation officials looking for invitations for major donors to State Department events, including a presidential speech, including sitting next to Vice President Biden.
Do you see any problem with that culture?
So she's saying, hey, people are buying access to the most powerful people in our government.
People are giving money and now they have access to them.
You have a problem with that?
That's the question, which yeah, you should, the answer is yes.
Yes.
That should be the answer.
But here's what she says.
You know, based on what I've seen, I understand that there's just a new round of fresh eyes looking at more emails that might be released.
I've been dealing with another situation involving emails that were leaked, private information that has been extreme.
Well, I've got to stick with what I know.
I'm not afraid of it.
So you see how she tried to switch it right away to her being a victim?
I'm looking, she says, Donna's concerned about the release of private information, especially when that private information is about public corruption.
She's worried about, oh, I'm worried about this other thing.
Let me change the subject.
The DNC, victim of cybercrime.
You can't be caught being the criminal if you're pretending to be the victim.
And that's what that is.
Okay, here we go.
Here's more.
I would answer that foundation.
Answer the question.
I have a problem with that.
I'm not sure.
First of all, Martha, the way I look at it, I've been a government official.
So, you know, this notion that somehow or another, someone supporters, someone who's a donor, somebody who's an activist saying, I want access, I want to come into a room and I want to meet people.
We often criminalize behavior that is normal.
And I don't see what the smoke is.
I understand.
I don't know if you heard what she just said.
She just said that you're criminalizing behavior that is normal.
That's what she just said.
Hey, if buying political access under the facade of philanthropy is normal, our political system needs to get weird because that's bull shit.
But she neutered the nature of the question, too, is also what she did.
I mean, she tried to reduce it to like access is in.
I call my congressman or send a letter.
That's not what the question was about.
Right.
She really neutered the nature of that question.
Criminalizing behavior that is normal.
Really, Donna?
Corruption, bribery, and lying is normal?
If that is, that's a good reason why we need to criminalize it.
So it stops being normal.
You're basically saying, yes, regular people don't get to talk to us.
Right.
You want to talk to us?
Pony up.
And then you'll get access.
That's Democrats.
And she's saying that's normal.
We often criminalize behavior that is normal.
And I don't see what the smoke is.
I understand why it's being discussed.
She doesn't see where the smoke is.
Can she see the smoke created by weapons sold to foreign nations?
Because there's a lot of smoke there.
This is all denying what they're doing in public, selling access.
Said, I've been dealing with another situation, another email situation.
The DNC was a victim of a cybercrime, an attack, and that has been my focus, not the focus of another round of.
Yeah, see, that's the whole thing.
She's a victim.
So you can't be a criminal if you're the victim.
We're a victim of a cybercrime.
According to the DNC, the one thing worse than corruption is transparency.
They wouldn't want any of that normal behavior exposed.
Yes.
You know, when you're acting normal, it's all got to stay under wraps.
Trump is alt-right, and the DNC appears to be alt ethics.
And according to Donna Brazil, abuse of power is acceptable if there's consent.
That's basically what she's saying.
Yeah, the politician was okay with it.
The person giving the money was okay with it.
Yeah, no one's left out.
No, come on.
You don't mind.
Everybody gets a seat at the table if there's only a few seats.
You know, my wife left her phone out at home last week, and I found out she's cheating on me.
She accused me of a cyber crime, and now I'm stuck in an Ecuador embassy.
You know, the Democrats say they love whistleblowers until somebody actually blows a whistle.
So there you go, Donna Brazil.
Good for you, Donna, out there defending unethical behavior.
Good for you.
Still, I bet she's a very nice person.
Hey, big thanks to everybody who thinks about us.
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Now let's get back to the second half of the show.
Guess who's going to call and guess who calls in the second half?
I'm not even going to take a music break.
We're going to go right into it because I'm excited.
Hillary supporters got a cousin.
And you've heard that Hillary supporters cousin.
It's Offended Listener.
So they sound very much alike.
And what Offended Listeners are going to talk about today is the University of Chicago sent a letter out to the incoming class this year saying that they will not participate in giving trigger warnings anymore and that they would also not ban controversial speakers.
And it was a long thing about how the, you know, the university is there.
It's a great university.
It's about the differences of opinion and being challenged by blah, blah, blah.
So that's, and that's got the offended listener a little offended.
So Barack Obama calls it in the second half too.
And lots of other great stuff is coming up with the second half.
Let's get to it right now.
Here's an offended listener.
I respect you.
Hey, it's Jimmy Doer.
I don't know if you remember me, but.
As if I could forget the most horrifying radio listening experience of my life.
Well, we just wanted to hear your opinion about the new policies at the University of Chicago.
Oh, you mean the new apartheid?
I guess, sure.
Are you going to broadcast what I just said or whatever?
I might.
Well, then you have to put a trigger warning on there because I said apartheid.
And goddess, forgive me if there is an African-American South African listening and they hear the word apartheid without some sort of warning and all of a sudden they're totally traumatized and they go up and they kill themselves.
African American South African.
African American South African.
Oh, so obviously you don't approve of the university's decision.
I don't approve or disapprove of things, okay?
That's judgment.
And I don't judge people.
I just think this is the most fascist thing I've ever heard.
Ever.
You do know actual fascism was a thing, right?
Oh, I, oh, oh, goddess.
I can't believe you just microaggressed me in my kind like that.
I don't know what that means.
What is microaggression?
It's when a person says something or does something which intentionally or unintentionally degrades a marginalized group.
And can you give me an example of a microaggression?
Well, you're of Irish descent, aren't you?
Yeah, I sure am.
And the Irish are a beautiful people with a rich and beautiful culture.
Okay.
But what if I was to make a little joke about Irish people being drunks?
How would you feel about that?
Well, I guess it depends on how good the joke is.
Oh, oh, I believe you just, I mean, you just microaggressed yourself.
Like some sort of self-hating Irish American person.
Well, yeah.
What's your point?
You should be offended.
Well, I'm not.
But what if you had been?
I'd either keep it to myself or I'd say something.
You poor, poor, self-hating Irish-American man person.
Oh, gosh, to identify as male adult, yes?
Yeah, I do.
Okay, so you are a male person, and it sounds like you are in need of a safe space in which you cannot microaggress yourself with your little jokes.
I really don't think I do.
Why would you say that?
Because I'm a fucking adult.
Oh, my goddess.
I can't believe.
Oh, that's just.
I'll have you know, I'm a maturity challenged, and you just microaggress my unofficially affected class with your adult word.
What in God's name are you talking about?
You have to give me a trigger warning when you're about to say God or the name of any patriarchy-based D. Why?
Why do I have to give you a trigger warning for that?
Because if I saw a production of God spell, that was not good.
Okay.
Then the guy who played Jesus marginalized me.
Let me say, I don't understand how you live in the world.
Jimmy, I'm totally not exaggerating when I tell you that my life is the most painful thing that has ever happened to anyone ever.
No, it's not.
For every hour I spend exposed to people, places, or things, I have to spend three hours doing kundalini yoga and taking ambience.
That's because you have no goddamn coping skills.
All life is, is being exposed to other people.
And I'm pretty sure the whole point of college is being exposed to people and ideas that are challenging, even if they're offensive.
Oh, my goddess.
Why don't you just literally murder me with your words?
Why don't you?
I'm going to let you go.
Yeah, why don't you do that so that I can begin my spiritual healing, which I need every time I talk to you.
Okay, bye.
Goodbye.
I'm still offended.
I'm here with the comedian Rod and Plutcoat.
Hey, Rod.
Hey, Jimmy.
Also here with Hag Thompson.
Hey, it's me.
Guess what we're talking about?
Colin Kaepernick.
Colin Kaepernick.
It's a hard name for me to say for some reason.
I was saying Copernic, but that's not his name.
That sounds more like a space shuttle.
The Copernic?
Remember that?
Yeah, the Copernic launch.
Yeah, I remember Washington's put Copernican space.
Yeah, yeah, we got there first.
Copernicus, the famous astronomer.
Yeah, oh, that's right.
Copernicus.
So anyway, there's a guy.
He's the quarterback for the San Francisco 49ers.
And boy, he's really causing a lot of, he's exercising a little free speech.
He's being a little anti-authoritarian.
And, well, here's what he's not standing for the national anthems.
Right?
He's not doing that.
I don't know why they play the national anthem before sporting events.
BTW.
That means, by the way, I wish they would stop doing that.
I don't know what playing football, that doesn't have dick to do with the revolution of America.
Nothing.
It's nothing to do with it.
I don't know why we do that.
We sing the national anthem at a football game where some guys, you know what it is?
Because it's all propping up the military.
I went to a Rose Bowl.
I went to a Rose Bowl in Pasadena, California to see the Rose Bowl itself.
And they flew the bomber, those stealth bombers flew over.
People like, oh, and then they had the Marines come out.
Hey, I think that's all bullshit.
I don't think that you're selling war at a football game, at a college football game.
You're already selling booze.
Now you got to sell war.
Well, Colin Kaepernick is upset, but not for those reasons.
That's why I got a problem with the whole bullshit of rapping football and patriotism.
You know what football is?
Football is you're selling fucking guys beating the shit out of each other so everybody could get rich.
It's entertaining.
It's like boxing.
Do they play the national anthem before boxing?
I think they do.
Anyway, I don't understand the whole national anthem before sporting events.
Do they play a national anthem when you go to the movie?
It's just entertainment.
There's just entertainment.
Do they play the national anthem when you go to the skating rink?
I'm trying to think of situations.
So here's what he says, because he's not standing.
He says, I'm not going to stand up to show pride in a flag for a country that oppresses black people and people of color.
To me, this is bigger than football, and it would be selfish on my part to look the other way.
There are bodies in the streets and people getting paid leave and getting away with murder.
So he's standing up against the we've been, everybody's been talking about for at least the last few years since cell phones had cameras that the police are murdering people and they're way more brutal and they escalate violence and they're doing it especially if you're a black guy and it doesn't seem to matter if you're unarmed or have your hands up or if you tell the cop you have a gun and you're just going for your wall doesn't matter cops are shooting black people and it doesn't seem to make a difference we've talked about it a million times on this show so he's saying hey i'm gonna i'm gonna i
to up the ante on this.
I want to really talk about this.
I want to bring the conversation in.
And so people started to make, oh, he makes a lot of money being an entertainer.
So apparently he doesn't have a valid opinion anymore.
Or isn't that exactly the people who should be speaking out?
The people who actually have something to lose.
That's what that is.
That's a guy who has something to lose.
He has a $119 million contract to lose.
His endorsements to lose.
He knows it's going to be controversial.
He's going to piss off a lot of people who don't understand what America's about.
A lot of people who don't get what America's about.
A lot of people who side with their oppressors.
So that's what apparently if so you're damned if you do.
If you get a big platform and you don't speak out, people go, he never helped his own people.
But then when he does, they go, oh, that guy, why don't you get out of the country?
Right?
What do you think about it, Ron?
Well, you know what?
My thing is, the only thing, and I thought it was awesome that he did it.
I wish he would have done something just a little more cause-specific for some of the stuff that you were hitting at.
The NFL, which is an organization that I love to hate and hate the fact that I love.
I watched the games on Sunday like a true hypocrite.
Me too.
Oh yeah, man.
But they are such an excessively nationalistic organization.
It's disgusting.
So after he did it, instead of the conversation being about his cause, you hear a bunch of these commentators talk about patriotism and what it means to be an American.
And listening to them harp on those talking points is probably a lot like trying to hear an eight-year-old talk about chemistry.
There wasn't much substance there.
So that was just frustrating to have to hear, especially since dissidence is the greatest form of patriotism.
So in a way, he's more quote patriotic than, than any of these shills, you know, talking on cable.
I like what you said, you know, dissidents is that, that is what America is all about.
It's where we first founded on a fricking revolution, right?
We're supposed to be about freedom of speech.
And that's why when you do something like this, where you don't salute the flag, that is a great, that, that should be cheerleaded by Americans.
Like, look at the freedom we have here in America.
That would be like, if he criticized the president and people went, Hey, what are you doing?
Criticizing our bread?
No, that's the beauty of America.
We're not so insecure that we can't handle people voicing different opinions about our culture inside of our own country.
That's the beauty of America.
That's that shows our strength.
But there's people like, I don't know, Larry Elder, who is a black Republican, which is a special kind of psychological disorder.
They haven't yet named.
I'm not sure what it is, but if you're a black Republican, I'm going to say not a lot of integrity.
I'm going to say either that or you don't know that all your friends are racists.
What do you think about black Republicans?
I have one friend who is a black Republican and his logic, I just don't understand.
Like, we have conversations.
I have gay friends who are Republicans too.
And we have conversations for hours and I'm like, why are you subscribing to this team?
And then he's like, well, I just can't blah, blah, blah, blah.
And I'm like, but dude, you can be, you can be a libertarian.
You don't have to be a Democrat.
You can be a libertarian.
You could be a green party.
You could be anything.
That's what I tell him.
He's an older guy.
You're going to prop up the people who've been trying to, if there was up to them, you wouldn't get to vote because they're passing voter suppression laws all over the country.
As soon as they get rid of the Voting Rights Act.
Larry Elder says founding fathers fought for liberty.
MLK fought for civil rights.
Kaepernick.
How do you say it?
Kaepernick.
Kaepernick fights for the right to lie about cops.
Wait, that.
Okay.
I'm going to fix this for you, Larry.
Those were lies.
What were lies?
The founding fathers thought you were three fifths of a human being.
The guys that you worship.
MLK fought for civil rights.
MLK did fight for civil rights, which is exactly what?
Kaepernick?
Kaepernick.
Kaepernick.
It's exactly what he's doing.
Martin Luther King would be disgusted by you.
Because it doesn't take any guts, Larry, to go with the majority and stick up for the country.
Oh, the country got its feelings hurt.
If you had any balls, Larry, which you don't, which is why you side with your oppressor, which is why you side with people who oppress your own people, because you're messed up in the head.
And you're gutless.
This takes courage.
What you're doing takes no courage to side with the majority, to side with the powerful.
And by the way, he's standing up for black people against the police state.
You can't even do that.
Ugh.
I got an offer to go debate this guy in Ventura.
I'm not going.
You're not going to go?
No.
Because he would host the show, and you can't swear.
He's one of those assholes.
You can't swear in a comedy club?
Yes, I don't want.
He's distasteful.
Well, the lie about cop things, I think, screams the diss.
I mean, tell that to the family of Tamir Rice, Eric Garner, Michael Brown.
The list goes on and on and on.
Tell them that those are lies about cops.
I mean, come on.
So there's that term Uncle Tom, which I don't think white people are.
Are we allowed to call black people Uncle Toms?
I don't know.
It's kind of iffy, right?
Yeah, that's pretty.
But if we were allowed, he is one.
But if we're not, I won't call him that.
But if we are super, Larry Elder, what happened to you?
What happened to you?
Martin Luther King would be this, wouldn't have a goddamn thing to do with you.
You sell out of your own people.
You're a black Republican.
Oh, by the way, the guy who's the GOP nominee says America is horrible right now.
Hates America.
Thinks we need to make it great again because it isn't anymore.
But that's okay.
You can embrace that guy.
That guy's super duper.
You moron.
There aren't enough strong enough words to describe the mental defect of Larry Elder and his certain brand of selling out.
Ugh.
So we've talked on the show a lot about the fact that people are wagging their finger at progressives who don't want to vote for a corporatist warmonger like Hillary Clinton.
Right.
And we've also pointed out that it bothers us that she's not even trying to come get our votes.
Like if people are like, oh, my God, what if Trump's president?
I'm like, well, if Hillary Clinton was half as scared of it as you are, maybe she would come try to get my vote.
But she's not.
She's been going after Republican votes.
We should be going after Republican donors.
We just did a story about how she's going after Romney donors.
And she's bragging about the 50 neocons or endorsed her.
Henry Kissinger.
John Negra frickin'Ponty.
And so there's that annoyance, I guess, or disappointment or disgust that she doesn't come try to get progressive votes.
Instead, she's going to get neocon votes.
And promising them, you'll be happier with me than Donald Trump.
There's another part to that that we're not we haven't thought about.
In fact, who has thought about it is the guy named Michael Senato.
Senato over at Observer Politics.
He wrote a story entitled Clinton wants to keep the Republican majority in Congress.
You're like, what?
Come on.
Why would she want to do that?
Right.
Well, he says Hillary Clinton's speech last week about the alt-right.
Remember, that was a barn burner.
So she made the appeal that Donald Trump is a different kind of Republican.
And that regular Republicans should denounce him.
Well, guess what that does?
That now makes all the other Republicans okay.
So now if you're in Congress and you're running against the Republican, you've got the top of the party.
Hillary's saying they're okay.
It's just Donald Trump and those guys.
And that's what this person points out who wrote this column.
Hillary Clinton's speech last week about the alt-right was the latest attempt by her campaign to win the right-wing establishment over.
And away from her competitor, Donald Trump, by distancing Trump from the Republican leadership, she can preserve the GOP majority in Congress and use them during her presidency to pass neoliberal legislation.
Having already solidified support from the Democratic establishment, Clinton is using the D next to her name as a Trojan horse to push forth the elitist and corporate interests held by her vast network of wealthy donors from both parties.
I don't know.
I think she's just snuggling up to my bank to get to me.
You know?
Typical chick, right?
You know?
That's pretty typical.
In her speech, Clinton referred to former Senator Bob Dole, former President George Bush, and John McCain, noting, quote,
need that kind of leadership again George W. Bush yeah she said that we need that kind of leadership again what the F she added that she was honored to receive support from Republicans honored honored I remember when she was asked that she said her biggest enemies were Republicans now she's saying this she added that she was honored to receive support from the Republicans while Clinton is aligning herself
with the right, Clinton supporters in the media are also highlighting these ties in their defenses of her.
Most Americans not named Bush or Clinton don't spend much time thinking about the plight of impoverished people with AIDS in developing countries whose lives depend on access to wildly expensive drugs, wrote Mark Joseph Stern in Slate.
The piece was a lousy attempt to ignore the profound ethics violations and corruption allegations over how the Clinton Foundation raises money.
So this is what the left is doing now.
They're doing what the right used to do or does.
Now the left is doing it.
Is there making excuses for blatant corruption?
And on August 24th, Politico published an article claiming Clinton is teaming up with Speaker of the House Paul Ryan to combat poverty.
Think of the implications of that.
This is an attempt to suggest that Ryan prefers Hillary Clinton over Donald Trump, reflecting a campaign strategy, even corrupt
Democratic National Committee staff warned Clinton against in an email released by WikiLeaks so this thing that she's doing by normalizing guys like George W. Bush and Paul Ryan to Democrats and lefties by saying those guys are good and I'm honored to have their res you're screwing over your party and you're screwing over the down ticket people the people that all your defenders said Bernie was screwing over Hillary's screwing over on purpose because
now how are you going to run against the Republican machine if Hillary says they're all great guys except for this Trump guy.
So again, she's putting herself not only in front of the party, but in front of the country.
Right now, this is her putting herself before the party.
And her own staff at the DNC warned her not to do this.
In an email, the email reveals that the Clinton campaign intended to portray Paul Ryan as at odds with Trump.
in May but the DNC staff resisted believing it would hurt the Democratic Party's other candidates running for Congress around the country asking state parties to praise House Republicans like Paul Ryan would be damaging for the party down ballot.
Former DNC Communications Director Luis Miranda wrote to former DNC CEO Amy Dacey on May 16th, at which point Ryan had yet to endorse Trump.
So when that letter was written, Paul Ryan hadn't yet endorsed Trump.
Quote, we would basically have to throw out our entire frame that the GOP made Trump through the years of divisive and ugly politics.
So that's what the Democrats' strategy is in this election, that this is what the Republicans' policy of divisiveness has given birth to.
This Frankenstein, this Trump, you own it.
That's the whole Democrats' message.
Hillary Clinton wants to cut that off at the knees and say, no, these guys are okay.
Trump's just an anomaly.
It's all right.
They don't even like him.
They're okay.
We would have to say that Republicans are reasonable and that the good ones will shun Trump.
It just doesn't work from the party side.
That's from the DNC communications director.
Now with the comfortable lead over Trump, Clinton's campaign is employing this tactic to welcome defectors from the Republican Party despite the repercussions it could have for the rest of the Democrats.
The DNC's recent fundraising efforts attest to this shift to focus the resources of the Democratic Party entirely on Clinton.
So the DNC's focus, all their focus is going to Hillary Clinton.
Screw Congress, screw Republicans, because she doesn't need a Democratic Congress.
She doesn't want a progressive Congress or Senate.
She's perfectly okay with the Republicans that she can work with.
Guys, she's honored to have their respect, their friendship.
Paul Ryan, Mitch McConnell, John Boehner, these are the guys she likes to work with.
Thanks to a campaign finance loophole, wealthy donors who maxed out their contributions to Clinton campaign and the DNC directly are now funneling money to the DNC and Clinton campaign through state parties.
A recent Bloomberg article noted that, quote, on average, 83% of the money that was sent from the state committees to the DNC in July originated with a donor who had already given the maximum $33,400 to the National Party.
Under the pretenses of courting Republicans for the sole purpose of soliciting their wealthy donors to stop Trump, Clinton's campaign has pushed for money from former Bush and Romney donors, despite the clash between these donors, their interest, and the platform of the Democratic Party.
In early August, the Clinton campaign even launched the Republican for Hillary effort.
Instead of using Trump's unfavorable ratings against the Republican Party, Clinton is embracing its establishment who don't like their party's candidate.
This shift should be concerning to all Democrats as it is indicative of the fact that Clinton plans to relive the neoliberal disasters of the first Clinton administration.
This is a heavy-duty insight.
This is the last thing I'll read to you.
Bill Clinton pushed through destructive welfare reform, catalyzed mass incarceration, deregulated the financial industry, and passed NAFTA under the banner of the Democratic Party.
A Republican majority in Congress not only will provide President Hillary Clinton with a scapegoat for any flip-flopping or broken campaign promises in office, but will provide her with the support of the establishment in both parties to continue promoting the interests of corporate giants over the public interest, just as she did in the State Department.
This is what I've been saying all along.
Hillary Clinton presidency is worse than a Trump presidency.
Hillary Clinton presidency splits the opposition to her horrible neoliberal, corporate-friendly, anti-worker, pro-war, pro-Wall Street policies, pro-fracking policy.
She splits it.
If Donald Trump was in there, everyone would rally against him.
This is exactly what I've been saying.
And this is exactly what guys like Dan Savage says is stupid and you're crazy.
These are the people who can't stand up and scream loud enough.
You're supporting her?
She's screwing over your own party.
She's screwing over anything that's liberal, anything that's progressive.
You worried about Donald Trump?
This is her.
What is fascism?
Fascism is corporations and government coming together for the benefit of corporations at the detriment of their own citizens.
And this is happening, and it's being defended by almost every Democrat on television.
Everybody at MSNBC is on board.
Oh, those lefties at MSNBC, they love her.
You can't have Bernie.
He's crazy.
We got to have someone who guarantees a Republican majority in Congress for decades.
And that's what I've been saying.
She's the president.
Forget about ever getting a Democratic Congress or Senate.
Forget it.
And she's making sure of it.
you Hello.
Hello?
Who's this?
This is Jimmy Doerr.
Is this Barack Obama?
Never mind that.
Is that James Leslie Doerr?
This is Jimmy Doerr.
Yes.
On behalf of the judicial branch or whatever, who really cares anymore, right?
Anyway, I hereby commute your sentence.
Hey, how'd you find out my middle name?
What sentence?
You were probably going to travel to a state where pop's not legal sometime within the next few years.
That's still a crime.
Jimmy, I'm LBB out, brother.
I'm commuting your drug crime sentence you'll receive in the future.
You can thank me later.
Oh, I get it.
You just commuted the drug sentences of 111 inmates this month.
It's the least I can do, considering all the Wall Street people I put in jail.
Well, you didn't put anybody from Wall Street in jail.
Yeah, I know.
That's what's the least I can do.
Hey, you apoplectic hemp puffing Muppet.
You and I both know there's a lot more to that Barack Obama phone call.
And how do you listen to it?
Well, you listen to it by supporting the show, and it's only $5 a month.
You go to JimmyDoorComedy.com, you click on join premium, you make your donation, and then you get an email from us, and we're going to tell you how to access the premium stuff.
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It's only $5 a month.
Who has a premium that inexpensive?
I can't, you tell me.
So this is just, it's a great way.
It's a great content, and it's also a great way to help support the show.
So go to Jimmy Doer Comedy.
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So thank you so much.
And thanks for enjoying that this week.
Barack Obama in the premium content.
Okay, guess what?
That's it for this week.
That's it.
Today's show was written.
That's right.
It was written by Mark Van Landuet, Robert Yasamura, Jim Earl, Mike McRae, Steph Zabarano.
All the voices today performed by the one and the only, the inimitable Mike McRae, who can be found at mikemcray.com.
All right, that's it for this week.
Until next week, this is Jimmy Doerr saying you be the best you can be and I'll keep being me.
Do not freak out.
How about you not freak out?
I'm about to not freak out.
Do not freak out.
Do not freak out.
Do not, do not, do not, do not, do not, do not.
I'm not giving it.
I'm not giving it.
Do not freak out.
Do not freak out.
I'm not freak out.
I'm not.
I'm not, I'm not giving it.
Do not freak out.
I'm not giving it.
Don't dump the buttons up.
Don't dump the buttons up.
Don't freak out.
Do not freak out.
Do not freak out.
Don't freak out.
Don't bring up.
Don't freak out.
Don't bring up.
Don't don't.
Don't dump the buttons up.
Don't freak out.
Don't freak out.
I'm not giving it.
Don't you don't freak out.
Don't you don't do not freak out.
Do not freak out.
Don't freak out.
Do not, do not, do not.
Do not freak out.
Do not freak out.
I'm not giving it.
Not freak out.
Not freak out.
You are now rocking with that kid.
Don't freak out.
Don't dump the dumpster.
Don't freak.
Do not freak out.
Don't freak out.
Don't bring up.
Don't freak out.
Don't bring up.
Do not freak out.
I'm not giving it.
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