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Aug. 27, 2016 - Jimmy Dore Show
01:02:31
20160827_The_Jimmy_Dore_Show_8-26-16
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Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program.
The Jimmy Dore Show!
Reince Priebus!
Hey, hello, Rines.
Yes, who is this?
Hey, Reince, it's Jimmy Dore.
Oh, great.
Hi, Jimmy.
I suppose you've called the gload and danced on the grave of the Republican Party.
The G.O.B. It began with Abe Lincoln, and it ended with Rines drinking.
Well, have at it, my friend.
Have at it.
Reince, please, I'm doing no such thing.
I'm just checking in on you and the RNC to see how you're doing.
Well, how do you think we're doing?
The whole thing's a giant shit show, and the fat lady is about to sing her song about shit.
This thing is done for, man.
And I'm going to be the fall guy here.
I just know it.
Why you?
Seems like there's plenty of blame to go around here.
Come on, Jimmy.
Get real.
Get real.
Who do you think people are going to blame for this disaster?
A super rich TV star that everyone is afraid to contradict?
Cable news pundits and journalists who are proven to be completely unaccountable in any way.
Or a 4'11 man named Rance Priebus.
Just take a wild guess, Jimmy.
Okay, I guess I see your point.
This sucks, man.
It really does.
How did I get roped into this?
My predecessor, Michael Steele, didn't do shit.
Presided over the 2010 midterms and just took credit for the whole thing.
And now he gets a cushy commentator job on NMSNBC where he just has to say stuff like signaling and dog whistle a lot and he gets paid.
I'm not going to get that kind of plum after I'm done, that's for sure.
I'll be lucky to get a part-time job organizing George Will's model train collection.
Well, I do have to say, Reince, it does seem like the campaign is falling apart.
For example, there's a 12-year-old kid running a campaign office in Colorado.
Yeah.
I mean, even I have to kind of laugh about that one.
Well, yeah, I mean, it's definitely funny, but aren't you sort of in charge of this whole thing?
Doesn't that kind of oversight fall under your jurisdiction?
Oh, cut the crap, Jimmy.
Cut the crap.
You think I have any control over these animals?
All of Trump's operatives keep breaking rules that haven't even been invented yet.
You really think that at any point the RNC put out guidelines that said, hey, just make sure none of the county campaign headquarters are run by children.
No, no, it didn't.
Because it never occurred to anyone that we would have to have that rule.
Okay, I see your point.
So now they get to say, hey, there's no rule against kids, so why not kids?
Let's just turn this whole thing into a shitty Disney Channel movie.
Here's the thing, Jimmy.
There's no central control anymore, so the National Trump campaign is falling apart like the Roman Empire.
Without any strong authority coming from Rome, all the provinces and districts were left to their own devices and became ruled by whatever local strongman could come to power.
Uh-huh, I see.
But in this case, it's not actual physical power that makes a local warlord.
It's complete and utter incompetence.
That's the only thing that Trump supporters respect.
It's a complete and utter lack of qualification for a job.
So yeah, naturally, in Colorado, you have a child being in charge.
Wow.
And he's not the only one.
Wait till the media hears about some of the other regional and local campaign managers.
Really?
Like who?
Well, Jimmy, I'm glad you asked.
First up, we have Franklin County, Missouri Branch Supervisor Luray Stitch.
Mr. Stench is a 52-year-old amateur ufologist and falconry enthusiast who lives with his mother.
He was never interested in politics before now, but that changed when an intergalactic being contacted him through Stench's pet sugar glider named Seven of Nine and told him that Trump was humanity's last hope for survival.
Since then, he's increased local donations by 30% and murdered three people.
Attempts on our part to rein in his activities has resulted in an armed standoff that is currently ongoing.
Oh, I see.
In Oram County, Utah, we are in the capable hands of Miss Barbara Foxcroft, who's been in a coma since 1993.
Under her deaf leadership, literally nothing has happened.
She's one of our greatest success stories.
Okay, okay.
Let's see who else.
Oh, yeah.
Somewhere in eastern Washington state, there's a rabbit alpaca who is calling the shots by projectile vomiting on either a giant yes or no written on a giant placard people hold up in front of his face.
That's amazing.
Yeah, and out there near you in Culver City, California, our precinct got a bunch of necromancers to summon an ancient Canaanite DD named Ball Goros back into our world, and now he's running shit.
They were trying to reanimate the spirit of late Republican actor Ron Silver, but they fucked something up, of course.
Yeah, it's tricky.
So I know it.
Anyway, now we have this demigod on our hands going completely off-message, trying to register voters with comments about the TPP that are not part of the official party platform or in any way representative of Trump's comments about the topic, and incinerating entire city blocks that don't sacrifice lambs for his pleasure.
So, actually, word to the wise, Jimmy, I'd avoid that whole area if I were you.
Wow, hey, thanks for the tip, Reince.
Yeah, no problem.
Anyway, that's just a handful right there, and I think you can get an idea of exactly what the RNC is dealing with when it comes to this campaign on a local level.
It's really completely impossible to control.
Sounds like you got a lot on your plate.
I say it sounds like you have a lot on your plate, Reince.
I sure do, Jimmy.
And speaking of, I better go.
The Denver office has already blown through about $75,000 trying to train chickens to pack the Trump box on a ballot.
And I have to explain to them that birds can't vote.
And then I'm going to go see if Jimmy Johns is hiring.
It's the Jimmy Dore Show.
The show for...
The kind of people that are.
Phil Vince may be on Tearing Down Our Nation.
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper save.
It's hard to talk to you, T-Value.
And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore.
Hey, everybody, welcome to this week's Jimmy Dore show.
I'm still riding high off of last week's live show from the Burbank Comedy Festival.
That was fantastic.
Thanks, everybody who came out.
I don't want to brag, but our podcast did have the biggest crowd of all the podcasts at the festival.
Yes, it did.
When I say I don't want to brag, I mean I want to brag.
So thanks, everybody, who made it out.
It was great meeting everybody afterwards.
That was fantastic.
I love taking pictures with the folks who make it out.
Thank God everybody has a camera on their phone.
Everybody can save the moment.
So it was a great show.
They want more live performances.
They do.
If you haven't, by the way, yes, you guys got a booking request today.
They want us to come in and do the podcast all the time.
It's a great show, folks.
Listen to that last week's show.
If you haven't heard it, it's unbelievable.
I'm not even kidding.
Okay.
Two drink minimum.
Two drink minimum.
Hey, listen.
Let's get to the jokes before we get to the joke.
Oh, who's here?
Steph Zavarano was here from the miserable liberal blog.
Hi, Steph.
How are you?
Our resident Latina.
Hey, Steph.
Jimmy, I'm doing great, and I'm happy that nobody's sexually harassing me here.
Oh, do you tell?
Oh, boy.
Talk about it.
Hey, also here is Emmy Award-winning writer Jim Earl, who's the author of Morning Remembrance, funny obituaries of real dead people.
He's here right now.
Hey, Jim, how are you?
Hey, thanks, Jimmy.
You know, today is National Waffle Day and Kobe Bryant Day.
Oh, no kidding.
Yes.
I'm the same day.
That's right.
I thought there was going to be another line coming up.
I don't want to do anything else on that.
That's it.
That's all you need to know.
That's right.
I'm relieved.
I don't get the connection between waffles and the Kobe.
I've had Kobe Burgers, not Kobe Waffles.
You know what I'm saying?
They massage the waffle and they feed it butter.
Okay, ready?
Hank, also with us, a comedian, Hank Thompson.
Hi, Hank.
How are you?
Good.
Tomorrow is Michael Jordan Day and Syrup Day.
Oh, weird.
That's crazy because waffle, that's crazy.
Let's get to the jokes before we get to the jokes.
You know, that Maureen Dowd, she's quite a pip, isn't she?
That Maureen Dowd, in her latest column, Maureen Dowd does an Al Gore invented the internet joke that is going to break this race wide open.
About time.
She really is out of her gourd that Maureen Dowd.
She's like, just nut.
The stuff she writes is nut.
Like she had a moment in time when she wrote good columns.
Yeah.
It was a very brief window, and now it's just like stuff like, oh, I did medical marijuana.
It's horrible.
Yeah.
Like she doesn't, she's completely.
It's like if your grandma got on the internet for a day.
Right.
Oh, then she wrote a column.
Yeah.
If your grandma went and drank two-fifths of bourbon and then wrote a column about how alcohol is.
Alcohol is horrible for you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, I was thrown up all night.
I smashed my car.
Booz should be illegal.
Wow, it's completely irresponsible with something.
Nobody should be allowed.
Maureen Dowd can't let go of the Al Gore invented the internet references.
Maureen Dowd destroyed print media would be much more accurate.
Those are two Maureen Dowd jokes back to back.
Dowd to Dowd.
Here's a joke from Johnny Pye from the Young Turks.
Oh.
He says, alt-right provocateur.
You ever heard that term?
Alt, alt, alternative right provocateur sounds way cooler than white supremacists with internet access.
He's right.
He is right.
That's Johnny Pai.
God bless.
Johnny Pai is going to be showing up more in today's show coming up because what's coming up?
Muslims ordered off a plane after they're accused of being ISIL.
Yes.
The accusation was it credible?
The answer just may surprise you.
Or will it?
Plus, what else is coming up on today's show?
Let me see.
Oh, the last two GOP nominees wish they were part of a minority.
Which minority is it?
The answer just may surprise you.
Or Willet, that's coming up on today's show.
Plus, Hillary Clinton reaches out to Mitt Romney donors.
We're going to talk about that.
Plus, Frank Luntz, you know, the pollster, Frank Luntz, the right-wing pollster.
Sure.
He's got an idea on who gets laid the most in politics.
We're going to talk about that.
Plus, we'll take a look at some Donald Trump tweets and some crazy stuff that was said by Hillary Clinton's campaign manager.
Plus, we got phone calls today from a 12-year-old who's running the Trump campaign in Colorado.
He calls in.
Plus, Reince Priebus calls in.
Plus, a lot more.
That's today of the Jimmy Dore show.
Bum bum.
Pam Pam.
So we all know Donald Trump loves the minorities.
He does well with the blacks.
The blacks are going to love him.
In fact, listen to what Donald Trump had to say.
This is back from September 1989.
Hold on to your hats.
Here we go.
A well-educated black has a tremendous advantage over a well-educated white in terms of the job market.
And I think sometimes a black...
And black guys, once they get educated, they're so crafty that they know how to get the job.
They're faster at getting jobs than what is he saying?
Let's listen to it again.
This is real.
This is for real.
This is a real thing.
This isn't fake.
He really says this.
A well-educated black has a tremendous advantage over a well-educated white in terms of the job walking.
And I think sometimes a black may think that they don't really have the advantage or this or that.
But in actuality, today, currently, it's a great.
I've said one occasion, even about myself, if I were starting off today, I would love to be a well-educated black because I really believe they do have an actual advantage today.
The advantage he was born with, his dad being that way, you know, I trade that in for being black.
He went out a few years later to help prosecute the Central Park 5.
This is Donald Trump.
Trump wishes he was black so his hands wouldn't be so small.
If you know what I'm talking about.
And I like how he says a black.
Did you hear how he said a black?
Which is how charming to hear such antiquated, dehumanizing language.
Isn't it nice?
He sounds like a plantation owner going, why aren't they grateful?
What the hell?
Yeah.
They got it so good.
I wish I was one of them.
Yeah.
Yeah, because you know how often people are given a million dollars to start off in life.
Blacks.
Blacks Are yeah, so Trump being born white and privileged wasn't privilege enough for him.
That's not an advantage enough.
Ah, damn it.
If I was just black now, if I could be brought up white and privileged and then be black when I'm about 40.
What the heck?
Jimmy, everybody knows a black guy who went to high school has more success than a guy born to a millionaire real estate developer.
That's you're right.
It's common knowledge.
And Hank, Trump's father was the type of old-fashioned guy who would go out at night in a top hat, white tie, and sheets.
I thought a monopoly joke was coming there, but you know, I think Trump was probably just referring to one black in O.J. Simpson.
Oh, this is 89.
Yeah.
This was 89.
You know, the well, Trump, though, is a well-known expert in labor force racial dynamics.
He stares yearningly at the educated black he turns down for an apartment.
Oh, if I was only as educated and black as you, person who I'm not allowing to live in my buildings.
Oh, you've got the world by the balls.
Now get out of my apartments.
Well, it's not just there, by the way.
It's not just, so you go, oh, well, that's Trump.
No, this is a theme.
I don't know if you remember, Mitt Romney did the same thing, pretty much.
Let's listen to Mitt Romney.
Ready?
Probably know.
Was the governor of Michigan and was the head of a car company.
His dad, he said, my dad, as you know, was the governor of Michigan and the head of a car company.
But he was born in Mexico and had even born of Mexican parents.
I'd have a better shot of winning this, but he was not.
Well, that is funny.
I mean, I say that jokingly, but she helped me.
He says that jokingly with the comedic timing only a Mormon could have.
I say that jokingly, but I really mean, but then he says, I'm not joking.
Watch.
Yeah, he says it jokingly, but it would be helpful being Latino.
Yeah, if sure Mitt's life would be easier if he came from the mean barrios of Salt Lake City.
And if only more Mormons strive to be Mexican, Utah would finally have a major league baseball team.
Isn't it funny how white millionaires all wish they were minorities that they discriminate against?
Isn't that something?
So this guy, Mitt Romney, who was the GOP nominee four years ago, his father born in Mexico, four year cut to four years later, the GOP nominee wants to kick them all out of the country and not let anybody in from there.
It's unbelievable.
Go ahead, Hank.
You wanted to say something?
Well, what they're doing is they're speaking to the attitude that minorities need to, first of all, shut up, stop complaining, and get over it.
And the policy implications are that therefore they have it good.
In fact, they have it better than us.
So why do they keep asking for hands?
So it serves their overall purpose, which is to reduce government services for anybody but their rich buddies.
This fear, the sense that, oh, what are these minorities complaining about?
Yeah, that's definitely.
Oh, yeah, blacks.
Now they got racism.
So it's that whole thing.
They get everything now.
They get free health care.
They get the free food.
They get the free education.
They're all sitting at home watching flat screens.
It's all that stuff.
The pink Cadillac is what Reagan spoke to.
Reagan did that.
The welfare queens.
She uses food stamps to buy booze and then she gets in her Cadillac and drives away.
That was Ronald Reagan.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But they're just empowering themselves to go to sleep at night, knowing they didn't help people who could use help.
You know, coincidentally, Mexico is where Mitt keeps most of his money.
Isn't that interesting?
You know, by the way, Trump hated seeing black people living in shabby apartments.
So he had the apartments moved.
There you go.
I just think that is crazy.
That's two back-to-backs.
Two back-to-back, two presidents, back-to-back.
Well, I just don't know who has it better.
A black or the Latino.
This is a big debate that's going on now.
Yeah, who has it better?
A black or the Latino?
Which millionaire envies their plight the most?
Which millionaire envies?
By the way, this clip, tip of the hat to Sam Cedar, he found these two clips.
And that's where I saw them.
This is crazy.
How does that Trump clip stay underground?
How is that not?
He can rationalize it by saying he's against affirmative action.
That's probably what he was harping on back then.
Affirmative action, cutting into his profits.
Oh, boy, but now I got to hire blacks.
I wish I was a black, an educated black, regular blacks.
We still, they got it.
Those blacks may force me to hire Polish people.
All right.
All right.
you you you You know what they say a libertarian is, is a Republican who wants to get laid.
You've heard that joke, right?
And a Republican is a Republican who wants to get laid.
And so it's funny, like it does bother conservatives that like guys like George Clooney and whatever are liberals and women are dreamy, forgot Brad Pitt and women like, you know, women are more emotional, so they like lefty guys.
I don't know.
I think just as many women like tough, rough guys, too, right?
And not like you can't be both.
I am.
Still lay bricks, baby.
10 years.
Masonry.
Come on.
These hands got callouses.
I did some push-ups last week.
Hank's doing push-ups.
So here I was, well, you know, Frank Luntz's and John John Stossel.
I love John Stossel.
John Stossel, he's one of those guys that's like, homeless people have it too good.
He literally did one of those segments.
He really did.
This guy has shoes.
This guy, look, look how much money I made.
I made $18 in one hour.
You extrapolate that out over 365 days.
I'm going to make about $45,000.
Literally, he said that.
That's John Stossel.
He literally also said one time on his show, he said, why do we need all these regulations?
And why do we need laws against child labor?
Do you think Americans would really hire children to do?
Yes, that's why we had to pass a law.
Anyway, and you wonder why you don't get laid.
He's on with Frank Lunt, who also doesn't get laid.
And I wonder why.
Maybe if you here's what he says.
Frank Luntz now says, oh, if you call yourself a socialist, you get dates.
That's what it says.
This is one of the funniest things.
And Frank Luntz, if you get Toupe, you get dates too.
Yeah, if you apparently hair pieces.
Hey, I'm not against guys getting hair plugs and fake teeth.
I'm all for it.
Nope.
But you can't, but when it's that obvious, that's not a good job of doing it, right?
You know, it's like, you know, if you could still see the staple here, that's not good.
You're not really fulfilling the purpose is to make you look better.
That's why you would get hairpiece or tap your teeth.
What are you saying, Hank?
Well, I went bald at 19.
Yeah, no, no, no, no, 19.
Yeah.
So I say, go bald, embrace it.
Only if you have a beautiful skull like I do.
Yeah, you have a beautiful skull.
I'm not embracing it.
In fact, I will get plugs.
And I have no problem care people.
I'll get why would you care if people knew that you got hair plugs?
It's like if people, I used to have braces.
Don't tell anybody.
Right.
Who gives plugs?
There's a difference between braces and hair plugs.
I mean, kind of just age gracefully, for God's sakes.
You get pair plugs is a neon sign saying, I can't take life.
I can't.
I'm afraid of looking like I am.
Yeah, by the way, that's coming from a guy with a full head of hair.
I just want to let you know.
Jim Earl, full head of hair.
Well, you know, beautiful hair.
I also have a huge bush.
Oh, yeah.
So that's what you're talking about.
That's what I'm talking about.
What are you talking about?
Yeah.
I think he looks good until he goes swimming.
Stossel.
Pull your pants up.
We're tired of looking at it.
Stossel ought to donate some of the caterpillar on his upper lip to replace that dead possum on top of Lunce's head.
So that, I thought that was fun.
He does research, right?
Allegedly, isn't it his thing?
So he must ask.
Do socialists get laid?
Yeah.
Would you be more or less willing to bang a socialist?
Or is he, is it something about how millennials are more and more, increasingly more likely to be okay with socialism?
Because they haven't been trained.
I didn't see the segment.
I just saw this meme on Twitter, and I thought it was hilarious.
It's just these guys.
It's crazy.
You know, Samuel Gomper's gomped his Samuel all over Manhattan.
Is he a famous socialist?
Yeah.
Yeah.
There you go.
Figured that joke out all by myself.
That's a young guy figuring out comedy.
The syntax of what he's saying, though, is that there's no positive undertone to being a socialist.
Yeah.
It can't be.
I can't come from a place of altruism or a place that it's actually the proven method for organizing a society that helps the most people, like it's proven all the time in Northern European countries.
And instead, it's just that it's just craven human instincts trying to manipulate women.
That's what he's saying.
Gee, do Republicans think like that?
Is this projection?
And that's exactly what it is, Hank.
And what he's saying is, I have too much integrity to pretend I'm a socialist just to get laid.
Yeah.
That's what he's saying, right?
Yeah, sure.
If you say, I don't know what he's saying, we didn't see the segment.
All I saw was this thing.
So we're making it all up.
But it's fun.
Republicans have sex.
I know it.
They do.
I know it.
They reproduce.
That's where we get more Republicans.
That's how you get more Republicans.
Hey, there's a new campaign manager in Colorado for Donald Trump.
Turns out a 12-year-old kid, 12-year-old kid, is in charge of running Trump's campaign in Colorado.
It does make sense.
You know, the Trump campaign being run by a 12-year-old would inject a currently missing level of maturity.
Yeah, it's inappropriate this 12-year-old as a campaign manager since Trump's campaign appeals to the mentality of a 12-year-old.
It's kind of appropriate.
But guess what?
So it turns out Trump's campaign manager, his office in Jefferson County, is being literally run by a 12-year-old boy named Weston Immer.
Imer, Immer, Immer.
This is weird because Jefferson County, one of the most populous counties in Colorado, and is part of the Denver metro area.
It turns out his mother was actually the chairman or chairperson, and she handed it over to handed it over to him because she thought he was really interested in politics.
She thought it would be good for him.
She said, she literally said, you have a responsibility to your children to teach them and encourage kids to be more involved in politics.
You know, when the Third Reich established the Hitler-Jugend, it was because they wanted to encourage kids to be more involved in politics.
This is a 12-year-old kid, and his mother, by the way, his mother, classic Trump, right?
Just like Trump, she's got a job.
She don't want to do it.
She wants to give it to somebody else to do it.
Yeah, I'm the chairperson, but I don't want to do it.
Let's have my kid do it.
My 12-year-old kid's going to do it.
The kids' family believes it's important to pass down the sheets to a younger generation.
The sheets.
Well, he'll be well-fed, have good housing to Bill O'Reilly.
That's what he'll say.
Damn.
And, you know, they say this kid has a bright political future ahead.
I say he does have a bright political future ahead where he can also lose in the landside election appealing to white bigots.
It's an onion article.
This is a.
I mean, I'm not, it sounds like it sounds like it, but it's not.
But this is a real thing.
This is a real thing.
So that's great.
So that's Jefferson County, Colorado, 12-year-old running the field operations.
His mother, the real field operations manager, not doing her job, giving it to a 12-year-old.
That's AZ O'Kaysy.
One last thing I want to say.
Donald Trump also fondly remembers when his daughter was 12 years old.
That's all.
I know what you're thinking.
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How can I help support it?
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And if you haven't done it, please start doing it.
It's a great way to help.
All right.
Let's get, hey, stuff coming up in the second half.
That kid, that 12-year-old kid, going to call in.
The one who's running the Trump campaign in Colorado, he calls in plus a lot more.
Let's get to that second half right now.
Freak Out!
Freak Out!
Do not freak out!
I'm not kidding.
I'm not kidding.
Do not freak out.
Do not freak out.
I'm about to not freak out.
I'm not...
Not...
Not...
I'm not...
I'm not...
Not...
Freak out!
I'm not kidding!
Don't...
Don't...
Don't freak out!
Don't...
Do not freak.
Do not freak out.
Don't break out.
Don't.
Don't talk about the fucking don't freak out.
Don't freak out.
I'm not in it.
Don't don't you don't break out.
Do not freak.
Do not freak out.
Hi, this is Jimmy.
Hi, this is Weston Imer.
Wow, what a surprise.
It's Weston Imer, that 12-year-old boy who's running Donald Trump's Denver campaign office in Jefferson County.
That's Colorado's most populous county.
Is this really you, Weston?
That's right, Dimron.
Say it.
Don't spray it.
So you're the head of Trump's Denver campaign office, and you're only 12 years old.
Can you tell me what your typical schedule is like?
Well, pretty much I broke them up all day.
I'm 12 years old, for God's sakes.
What do you expect?
No, I mean for the Trump campaign.
What kind of work do you do for the Trump campaign?
You heard a hearing.
I just told you.
Oh, you mean like other stuff?
Yes.
I pretty much run around saying things I really don't understand, but with confidence and authority, just like Donald Trump.
Oh, wow.
How much has your life changed since you became head of the Trump's Denver office?
Well, last year at school, kids would bully me.
Really?
But now that you're running Trump's Colorado campaign, I bet that's changed, right?
Yeah, now they really bully me.
God is relentless.
You'd think we were 11 points behind Hillary or something.
But you are 11 points behind Hillary or something.
Hey, this is a centennial state, not the math state.
But the bullying doesn't bother you?
No, not at all.
Because I predict in 2040, Americans will choose me to run their country.
So you're going to run for office when you're of age?
Who said anything about running for office?
I'm going to take over the country and make everybody pay.
And Imer never forgets.
Well, what's your personal life at home like?
Well, nothing remarkable to speak of.
I was born to a doting mother and a domineering father who stifled my dreams of ever becoming a painter.
So I think things are looking up for me.
I noticed on your Facebook page that you're a big Star Trek fan.
Yeah, what about an a-hole?
Well, I just wondered how you can balance.
You're a big a-hole.
Yeah, I know.
I was just wondering how you can balance voting for Donald Trump, but being a fan of a show that encourages tolerance and understanding between all races, genders, and societies.
Hey, shut up at Doc.
Okay, I don't even know what are you making noises now?
Look, I don't, to tell you the truth, I don't understand what I just said either.
I was just kind of hoping you'd pass over that and go to the next question.
Okay, so what about Trump's platform appeals the most to you, Aymer?
Well, we need to make America great again.
Back in the old days when I was young, things were a lot better when I turned five years old.
I'll tell you that right now, Buster.
Good memories, huh?
Yeah, especially after my twin brother, Acted Anthony, fell down that abandoned well in the backyard.
What?
Nothing.
Make America great again!
Yeah, I know you didn't say anything.
Didn't say anything.
I wonder if you have any thoughts on all those statues of naked Donald Trump appearing all over the country.
Are you offended by it at all?
No, I'm not offended at all.
As a matter of fact, I think it's elevating the discourse.
How come, how come you, hey, how come we didn't take enough for Hillary?
No, I think it's great.
In fact, I've already started a GoFundMe campaign to finance a plaster of Paris replica of one of her cankles.
This is healthy.
I'm glad both times have seen the light.
So will you do a...
Oh, God.
Okay, listen.
Listen, Weston, will you do us a favor before you leave and sing America the Beautiful again like you did a few weeks ago at that Trump rally?
Oh, all right.
Let me warm up first with some crowd work.
Hi, everybody.
How y'all doing tonight?
Excuse me, Terry.
You killed a business?
No?
Get your feet off the stage.
okay here goes Purple Mountain Majesty.
Plain America, God, what's happening to me?
Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy.
Oh, sounds like Weston's voice is changing a little.
Someone's balls are dropping as we speak.
I didn't kill my brother.
Okay, that's Weston Imer, 12-year-old campaign manager in Colorado for Donald Trump.
Thanks for calling in, Knucklehead.
The Jimmy Door show is available as a podcast for free on iTunes.
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Do you have a Macintosh computer that needs fixing?
Guess what?
Sean James will fix it for you wherever you are, right over the internet, like he does for me all the time.
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And you spell Sean, S-H-A-U-N.
So a lot of people, I be one of them, are upset that Hillary Clinton campaign strategy, her election strategy, is to reach out to Republicans instead of reaching out to progressives and Green Party people and anti-war people and peace movement people and environmentalists.
Did I say that twice?
So that's what bothers me.
It's like, hey, why don't you get your own?
If you get all the people who are actually on the left in America, you're going to win every election if you get those people.
It's been proven time and time, again, that most Americans are liberal on all the issues when polled.
They just don't know it because the corporate media doesn't tell them.
So here's Political Did a story.
Clinton asks Romney allies for cash to stop.
Republicans urged to join Together for America Finance Council.
Oh, that sounds nice.
So this is from Politico.
It says Clinton's campaign in the last two weeks has launched a coordinated effort to convince conservatives to give money to the only woman standing in Donald Trump's way.
And they get their friends to do the same.
The effort began August 12th when Clinton finance director Dennis Cheng wrote a 1,200-word email to the candidate's top fundraisers describing how they could win over the GOP and independent contributors.
The email included a sample letter.
Sample.
Gabe, here's how you should do it.
That fundraisers could send Republican prospects And presents potential aisle crossers the option to donate or raise either 10 grand, 27 grand, 50 grand or 100 grand for the Clinton operation.
So either you donate it or you bundle it.
You get it together for us.
Come on.
And then we'll be your friend.
And then the Clinton campaign will do your bidding.
What do you need?
You need the TPP?
Done.
Pro-Fracking, got it.
Deregulate Wall Street on board.
More bombs in Syria?
Bango.
What do you guys want?
Thanks for giving us money and being on our team.
They're not going to give you money for nothing.
These are the smartest investors in the world.
They don't give you money without wanting something in return.
I thought that's why corporations and investors gave politicians money.
It's just a hobby.
Just for hospital.
That's the hobby.
Just fun.
Just a good time.
Just a hobby.
Yeah.
So that's what.
I don't know if I should be bothered by this.
Jim, go ahead.
Well, yeah, it's obvious from this development that the refrigerator microwave class has too much power.
We need to take more money from these gentlemen and women who are being underrepresented.
Oh, you're talking about the poor people have too much power and money in America.
Yeah, but we got refrigerators.
They've got refrigerators and microwaves.
Fox News has proved this.
Some of those refrigerators have the, you can get water on the outside.
You know, I'm just looking at those numbers, Jimmy, where it says $10,000, $27,000, $50,000, $100,000.
It's interesting how there's not $27.
Oh, that's not $27 donations.
It's like $10, $27,000, $50,000, or $100 only with a bunch of zeros after it.
Yes.
What happened?
Yeah.
It seems as if fundraising is buying the Democratic Party.
Do we have a Democratic Party right now?
Well, we have a party that's called the Democratic Party, but it should be called the Republican Party.
Right.
Because they're pretty much like the Republicans were in 1996.
They're pro, they're pro-choice.
Right.
That's what used to.
Bushes used to donate to Planned Parenthood, George Herbert Walker, right?
Used to be a thing of pride for conservatives that they were funding family planning.
That seems a pretty responsible thing to do.
So now the Democrats are the only party left doing that.
But they're doing all the conservative economic things, all the Republican economic things and warmongering and all that.
They're doing it all.
You know what?
I mean, this keeps making me go back to that idea of how Hillary Clinton isn't coming after my vote.
Well, that's what I'm saying about this.
Here, there's a little bit more to this.
That's a good point, Steph.
Don't forget that.
So in a pitch delivered one fundraiser to another, Clinton's wealthiest Democratic allies are targeting their friends and colleagues in Republican fundraising networks, including Romney's friends.
The political opening to launch what Clinton's team is now calling the Together for America Finance Council.
It sounds so nice.
Is that Orwellian?
A finance council.
It's called Together for America.
It's all the rich people who have ruined America are now getting together.
So it became clear to her campaign during the Democratic National Convention when former New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg, who's, I like Mike, I like a fascist billionaire.
I like a guy who institutes fascist policies in New York.
Stop and frisk.
He was big supporters.
He's got Moxie.
Yeah, he's got Moxie.
And a handful of Republicans spoke for Clinton.
That's when they got this idea.
According to Democratic and Republican fundraisers involved in this nascent effort, no two prospect pitches have been exactly alike.
But the conversations typically open with condemnations of Trump before shifting to a discussion meant to convince potential donors that Clinton would be better for business than Trump, even though she moved left on trade and other issues during the private.
Don't worry, that's just for the primary.
That's just, she's just, she's running to the left during the primary.
But of course, you know, she's a Republican, business-friendly corporate and Wall Street deregulator.
You know, you know who Hillary is.
Come on.
She was on the board of Walmart.
You know who she is.
Come on.
Well, she's convinced me.
One time, one longtime Clinton fundraiser described the pitch, which starts, I normally would not be approaching you for money, but I know where your heart is and what you want to see for your party.
You want to see a neoliberal.
Jim Sicone, an ATT executive and veteran of both the George Herbert Walker Bush and Ronald Reagan White Houses, who is now supporting Clinton, told Political he is planning to host an event for Clinton along with some of his Democratic colleagues.
I certainly did my best to raise some money for Romney and contributed, he said.
And now I will certainly be making some calls and sending some notes out for Clinton.
So the people who are supporting Romney are now supporting.
I thought we voted again.
So we're getting Romney.
Yeah.
We're getting Romney.
It's like our party just took an infected load.
Yes.
You know, you see, well, you never take that back.
Never.
And your girlfriend, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, is a part of that for a while.
She's a part of that infected load.
A growing number of Republicans and Independents are stepping forward to endorse Hillary Clinton for president.
They believe that given the stakes of this election, it's imperative that we put country before party reads Chang's sample letter.
Put country before party.
I'm just, I have no party.
Democrats, I don't have a party.
Furthermore, Hillary's not putting the country before anything.
If you were putting the country before party, we would have all supported Bernie Sanders.
But we didn't, did we?
You really thought Hillary was better for America?
No one in their right mind thought that.
No one.
Even people who can't stop defending her on Twitter didn't really think that.
Remember what people were saying at the beginning?
They never said she was better than Bernard.
They said, oh, he can't get elected, or he won't be able to get his agenda done.
He won't be able to.
He's not good.
He doesn't know how things work, even though he's been in politics his entire life.
He can't stop getting elected.
This is what scares me.
The broad array of bipartisan officials endorsing Hillary Clinton includes leaders in the business community, national security, foreign and economic policy, academia, entertainment, civil society, community-based groups, and current and former elected officials.
Voters are increasingly seeing that Hillary understands the complex and volatile world.
We live in it.
It has the experience and temperature to be president, commander-in-chief, and Donald Trump does not.
So this is that sample letter that the Hillary Clinton campaign set out.
Now, it drives me nuts, right?
Because of what you said, Steph.
Why doesn't she try and why isn't she coming to try to get my vote?
She's not coming to my vote.
Why doesn't Hillary come Try to get the miserable liberal votes.
I don't understand why Hillary Clinton not coming to get our votes.
Because I'm saying, if you tied up the left, if you got the left on your side, all of it, you would win.
You would crush.
I don't think many Republicans voted for Barack Obama, did they?
Do you think Republicans voted for Barack Obama?
Did Barack Obama need the help of Republicans?
Did he?
Did he reach out?
I know he said there's no red America or blue America.
It's all one America.
I know that.
Well, he had a lot of those privileged blacks voting for him.
Sure, he had those educated blacks that Donald Trump wishes he was like.
He envies, in fact, educated blacks.
So here's the one thing.
So that's what's bugging me.
Still has yet to come out and try to get the environmentalist votes.
She has still yet to come try to get the anti-war peace wing of her party's votes.
Why is that?
The phrase foreign and economic policy kind of cancels out any hope for the environment.
Yes.
As well as national security and the business community on top.
The whole thing is anti-environment.
So that's why it bothers me that she's not reaching out to left, to the left, and hasn't hasn't.
And is only the most we could get was lip service.
So this is the one thing that kind of is in her favor.
So I'm just letting you know that I'm reporting it all.
I'm not trying to skew against Hillary.
The reason why I'm against Hillary is because of the facts, not because of conjecture or a personal dislike for her personality.
So here we go.
There's a one Republican said this.
He said it's campaign 101 to try to go after the opposite party to get them to support you.
It erodes confidence in the other party's nominee, said Fred Mellick, a veteran Republican fundraiser who's been involved with the party's presidents and campaigns since Richard Nixon.
He says, if I were in their shoes, I would do that.
So there's one view, like, oh, no, this.
So if we do, instead of reaching out to progressives, we'll go after millionaire Republicans and tell them that we're their candidate.
We're going to represent them better than Donald Trump because that's going to erode confidence more in Donald Trump than if I reached out to progressives.
I say first reach out to progressives, then go after the Mitt Romney millionaires.
That would be what I would do.
So I like Donald Trump's Twitter feed.
I don't know if you've ever watched Donald Trump's Twitter feed or looked at it or read it or whatever.
You don't watch it.
You watch television.
You don't watch off Twitter feed.
It is a study in stupidity, if nothing else.
It's a study in a lot of things, but certainly that.
And I don't actually follow Donald Trump.
I'm not going to give him the follow.
But my friend Johnny Pye from the Young Turks does.
His actual name is Johnny Ida.
I can't say it right.
It's hard to say Johnny Idarola.
Yeah, it's pronounced III or yeah.
So, but he's, I love Johnny.
He's a great host.
And he's very funny, as you're going to see.
Donald Trump tweeted this out.
Let's get right to it.
The Washington Post quickly put together a hit job book on me comprised of copies of some of their inaccurate stories, Don't Buy Boring.
And Johnny Pai's right there.
Johnny Pye says, so you've read it?
I don't think you read it.
I'll be honest.
I don't think he read it.
That's Johnny Ayadarola.
There it is.
Here's another one.
Here's another great tweet.
It is being reported by virtually everyone and is a fact that the media pile on against me is the worst in American political history.
First of all, it's being reported by everyone that the media pylon is the worst.
I mean, so the media, well, here's how Johnny said it.
Wow, that's pretty bad reporting.
Those reporters are reporting about themselves.
Sad.
Sad.
Johnny Ayadarola.
I tell him he's funny all the time.
He is.
Here's one more tweet.
Someday when things calm down, I'll tell the real story of Joe at NBC and his very insecure longtime girlfriend, Morning Mika, two clowns.
This is the guy who wants to be president.
Just to be clear, that's.
Tweeting about basic cable hosts.
That's like a burrow.
Sorry, that's Scarborough.
That's Joe Scarborough.
Sorry.
Yeah, Joe at NBC.
He means Joe Scarborough.
It's a good point to point that out.
Yeah.
The guy wants to be president.
He's trolling basic cable hosts on Twitter.
And here's what Johnny Pai said.
Lincoln used to tweet stuff like this on a daily basis.
So presidential.
Anyway, I saw those tweets today, and I was just laughing my head off.
Johnny Pai was on a roll.
So I figured out something.
When Trump says something that's like, wow, crazy, like when he said Barack Obama is the founder of ISIS, he's a founder of ISIS.
He founded ISIS.
When he said that, he knew that the media are easily manipulated, the media, because he was trying to get people to stop talking about he wanted, he called for assassination of Hillary Clinton.
So that's when he goes, I'll just say something crazier.
He's done it his whole life.
You say something crazy, they report it.
You say something crazy the next day, everyone forgets about that.
And they're talking about this thing.
And that's exactly what happened.
Exactly.
So he would go on shows and they would go, now, you don't really mean that he's the founder.
Oh, no, I mean it.
So nobody's talking about the other thing anymore.
Everyone's talking about that.
And then the next day he goes, I was being sarcastic.
And everybody's talking about, how can he say he's being sarcastic?
I will say this about Trump.
He does laugh at the media at how easily they are to manipulate and get them to report whatever he wants them to report.
He does control the news cycle whenever he feels like it, it seems like.
But those tweets are ridiculous.
And Johnny Pied did take him down pretty well.
Hey, so if you're a thinking, sentient being who cares about democracy, you're probably disgusted by what happens, what happened to Debbie Wasserman Schultz over her career.
Started out as a good liberal.
Now she's a corporate douche.
And it's obvious, right?
So I just want to say this about progressives, right?
This is more about progressives because progressives have some tough elections ahead.
In South Florida, Tim Canova, who's a progressive, endorsed by Bernie Sanders, refuses to take corporate money.
He's running against former DNC chair, Debbie Wasserman Schultz.
I'm going to pause for the booze from the Bernie crowd.
Never mind that Debbie, as DNC chairwoman, has raised more money, yet she's lost more elections.
Hmm.
She's raising lots of corporate cash, but still losing elections all across the country.
We got all this corporate cast to fight the Republicans.
It turns out we're also Republicans now.
So when voters are given the choice between a Republican and someone who sounds like a Republican, they choose a Republican every time.
So that's what Debbie Wassherman Schultz is proving.
You'll be surprised to hear that the Debster, as I like to call Debster, she hasn't been good for Florida either.
Debbie has missed more votes than any other Florida Democrat.
Did you know that?
She supports fracking.
She pushed for offshore drilling.
She's against medical marijuana legalization.
She is against expanding social security benefits.
She supports predatory payday lenders.
You're Democrat.
She voted to protect banks from regulations.
And guess what?
Of course, just like her president, she supports the TPP.
That's the trade deal that rips sovereignty away from countries and people and gives it to corporations.
So after months of refusing to debate, Tim Canova, Debbie originally agreed to a 15-minute debate.
That's ridiculous.
She finally agreed to do a real debate last Sunday morning at 8 a.m.
Now, Tim Canova looked very serious, kind of like Yule Brenner in the Magnificent Seven.
He didn't do bad for someone who hasn't been a professional politician for the last 25 years.
And Debbie Wasserman Schultz, who seems like a pleasant person.
Someone I'd like as a neighbor, maybe.
A neighbor who's always calling the Homeowners Association about my unconventional garden.
Turns out Debbie Wasserman Schultz, head of the DNC, some of her staff at the DNC were colluding with her personal campaign staff to help defeat her opponent in the Democratic primary.
That's bad.
That's not good.
When she was asked about this, about the employees of the Democratic National Committee colluding with her own employees from her own personal congressional campaign committee to defeat another Democrat in a primary, that's a big no-no.
This is what she said.
This is what she said when she was asked about it.
I would hope that staff who I work with would be interested enough, care about me enough, and be interested in my political success that they would try to be involved in a way.
But at the end of the day.
She just said that she didn't get any help from the DNC staff, but would hope that the DNC staff would, quote, would care enough about her to engage in intangible, intangible.
What she's saying is she would hope that the DNC staff who works for her would engage in intangible, unethical behavior on her behalf.
That's what she's saying.
I would hope that they would do that, that they would engage in unethical behavior on my behalf.
She just said that.
That's how wrapped up in the system.
She doesn't even realize what she's saying is she's revealing corruption.
Now, the Depster is just one cog in the Clinton machine.
Speaking of which, I need to take care of hair clog in my sink.
In the entire debate, she never gave a straight answer to anything, Debbie Wasserman Schultz.
Compare it to Tim Canova with another example of the Wasserman babble.
Here, here we go.
So, here they're asked, they ask him, hey, are you for or against fracking?
Tim Canova is going to give an answer, and then let's listen to Debbie Wasserman Schultz's answer.
Would you both support a ban on fracking in the state of Florida?
I would.
You would bam, he would.
And look at his expression.
He knows where she stands.
I would.
Boom.
Ah, Yule Brenner, huh?
Here we go.
I think we need to strongly regulate fracking and make sure that we protect our environment in the crisis.
So you're open to fracking as a possibility in Florida.
As long as we have significant regulation.
So we have to have this.
Are you for or against it?
You for fracking?
You against fracking.
If it's regulated, yes, that's what it means.
She has all these caps.
No, we already, the science is in.
Fracking is horrible.
The science is in.
So these people who wag their finger at the Republican Party and say, oh, they don't accept fracking.
We accept science.
Accept the science on fracking.
We don't accept that science.
Why?
Because we're getting paid not to.
Just like the Republicans get paid to deny climate science, we're getting paid to deny fracking science.
Now the Democrats, we're just like Republicans.
Debbie was responsible for helping kill medical marijuana in Florida.
Also, did you know that?
Debbie Wasserman Schultz.
She is a buzzkill.
She is a buzzkill and she helped kill medical marijuana in Florida.
She was asked about her current stance.
Her answer is being examined by 420 analysts trying to figure out exactly what she said.
Here, it was a much longer answer.
She just kept talking and talking about whether she's for or against medical marijuana.
I'll just give you a, here's one little beef, a brief little part of it.
I support the use of evidence-based medical marijuana, and I'm glad to see the Obama administration just made a decision to allow for more research to be done.
I share President Obama's opinion that we need more research to make sure that medical marijuana is evidence-based so that we can make sure we need to still, she needs study.
2016.
Not sure about medical marijuana.
Evidence-based.
No, what you are is corporate cash-based.
And WikiLeaks already revealed that alcohol money is why you guys are against medical marijuana.
Yeah.
Isn't that great?
She's still, she, I'm just like the president, like the president was also bought.
That's why we need a revolution because you're all corrupt.
That's what we talk about.
When we say corruption, this is what we mean.
Why would you be against medical marijuana?
You're a goddamn Democrat.
You're just as dumb as Chris Christie about this.
Oh, because you're taking money.
But you're pro-abortion, so you act like you're a better person than Ted Cruz.
But you're not, Debbie.
You're not a better person.
In fact, you're worse because Ted Cruz doesn't pretend to be something else.
You're pretending to be a liberal.
You're not.
You're a completely corrupted, sold, bought, and paid for, corrupted tool.
That's what Debbie Wasserman Schultz is.
She talked a long time without saying anything about medical marijuana.
In fact, she's still giving her answer right now.
Well, let's remember, everybody, August 30th is the day of this primary election.
Early voting has already started in Florida.
Tim Canova is up against lots of Wall Street money and the Democratic establishment.
Miami Dade Broward has some of the lowest voter turnout in Florida.
But if Canova can energize younger and Hispanic voters, this will be an important victory for progressives.
I can't overstate how important it would be if we got rid of Debbie Wasserman Schultz.
What a victory for progressives.
Debbie is running away from more debates, saying she doesn't have time for debates.
Debbie is essentially saying that she doesn't have time to debate the issues facing her own constituency.
Doesn't have time.
I'd like to talk about the issues.
I don't have time.
I got to go raise money so we can lose some more state races.
August 30th, it's up to Florida to turn the page on Debbie Wasserman's brand of politics.
Let's do it.
Hey, that's all the show we have for this week.
But if you'd like to hear more stuff and get access to all our backlog of premium episodes with all the phone calls and everything and all the stuff going forward, all it costs is $5 a month.
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That's the important thing.
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God bless the Jimmy Dore show listeners.
Hey, today's show was and thanks for coming out last.
Oh, great time.
Great time in Burbank Festival at the Flappers.
Wow, what a fun time.
Hey, guess what?
That's it for this week.
Today's show was written.
It was written by Mike McRae, Frank Conniff, Jim Earl, Robert Yeser Murray, Mark Van Landuit, and Steph Samurano.
All the voices performed by the one and the only, the inimitable Mike McRae, who can be found at mikemcray.com.
That's it for this week.
Until next week, this is Jimmy Norris saying, you be the best you can be, and I'll keep being me.
Freak out, freak out, do not freak out.
Do not freak out.
I'm not do not freak out.
I'm not, not, not, not free.
Do not freak out.
I'm not giving it.
Don't bring out.
Do not freak out.
Do not freak out.
Don't freak out.
Don't bring out.
Don't freak out.
Don't freak out.
I'm not kidding.
Don't, don't, don't, don't.
Don't, don't, don't.
Don't break up.
Don't break up.
Don't freak out.
Do not freak out.
Do not freak out.
I'm not giving it.
Do not freak out.
Don't bring out!
Don't bring out!
Don't bring out.
Do not freak out.
I'm not giving.
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