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April 11, 2015 - Jimmy Dore Show
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Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program, the Jimmy Dore Show.
Last week, President Obama announced an historic deal over nuclear power with Iran and immediately was pounced on by many former Bush officials as being a horrible deal.
I don't know about you, but I'm worried that the architects of the worst foreign policy disaster in American history are not signing off on the Iran nuke deal.
Nothing alarms professional warmongers more than diplomacy and negotiations.
The right wing never agrees with President Obama anyway.
But they always agree with Benjamin Netanyahu.
It's interesting when self-described patriots get their marching orders from foreign leaders.
This country, after the disaster of the Bush years, realizes that pointless wars are pretty much pointless.
And it appears that the public find a nice change of pace that America is negotiating with the Middle East country instead of sending in troops, bombing, or selling them weapons.
But these warmongers demand a military confrontation with Iran.
You know who else wants a military confrontation with Iran?
ISIS.
Coincidence?
A quick rundown of our brilliant meddling in the Middle East so far.
We dispose the Sunni leader of Iraq, installing a Shia leadership.
Neocons, Hawks, and Fox News want us to be at war with both Sunnis and Shias, who are already at war with each other.
Hawks like John McCain insisted we arm Sunni forces against Shia nations like Syria and Iran, and then are then surprised that those forces start taking back Iraq.
The result is a sectarian power struggle that our actions created but can never hope to control.
For the geniuses who designed this mess, they still don't know what the question is, but they always have the same answer.
More bombs.
In reality, these warmongers are not on the side of the Sunnis or the Shia or even the United States.
They're on the side of war.
The political angle is ugly too.
Republicans need to be against President Obama no matter what.
Their usually winning strategy is pretending Democrats are weak on military matters.
And this is difficult when you have a Democratic president who continued military involvement started by Bush in the Middle East, killed Osama bin Laden, has recently ordered over a thousand airstrikes in Syria and Iraq, and is a drone enthusiast.
Plus, he bombed and destabilized Libya and expanded the War Powers Act.
But Republicans do have a good point.
The president is still black.
The president is still black.
It's the Jimmy Dore Show.
the show for gut-minded, lowly-livered lefties.
The kind of people It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper save.
It's hard to talk to you, T-Gaggy.
Here's a guy who sounds a lot like the show.
I'm joined all the way from New York City.
You know him from Mystery Science Theater 3000.
It's TV's Frank.
Frank Connoff is here.
Hi, Frank.
Hello there.
Yay, good to hear your voice.
Where was that at, Frank?
That was in Memphis.
Memphis.
Boy, that's a tough place for an atheist convention.
Well, it's Easter weekend and...
Oh, you guys are just trying to, Totally.
And there were, I met some Jimmy Dorcho fans down there.
Oh, fantastic.
We see, we draw down in Memphis.
That's great.
Yeah.
All right, here in the studio with me, hilarious comedian, Japanese man, it's Robert Yasimura.
Hey, Robert, how are you?
Hello.
Oh, is it Japanese for that is Japanese for hello.
Okay.
Next to him, it's from Ham Radios and the author of Morning Remembrance, fake obituaries of real dead people.
It's the whitest guy you know.
It's Jim Urow.
Hi, Jim.
How are you?
Hey, Jimmy.
Stop demonizing almonds.
You son of a bitch.
But it's nice to be here.
Thank you.
Okay, across the...
Also with us, our resident Latina, the author of the miserable liberal blog.
It's Steph Semarano.
Hi, Steph.
How are you?
Jimmy, I'm a Mexican.
Yes.
Also with us, hilarious comedian Michael Elliott Spitzer Schertzer is here.
Michael.
Hey, what's up, Jimmy?
And from the Young Turks, Edwin Umania.
Hi, Edwin.
Fantastic.
I'm doing great.
How are you?
Good.
Let's get to some jokes before we get to the jokes.
Did you know that according to an NBC Marist poll, that Jeb Bush is less well-liked by the American people than his brother, former President George W. Bush?
I mean, you really got to be a terrible person to be the least-like member of the Bush family.
His grandfather supported the Nazis.
His father was largely responsible for Iran-Contra scandal.
And his AWOL brother destroyed the cradle of civilization.
And yet everybody hates Jeb?
I say give the guy a break.
All he did so far was mark Hispanic on a voter registration card.
It's not like he's a drug-dealing, Nazi-sympathizing chicken hawk.
Or maybe with Jeb, we get the best of all three generations.
Who knows?
Yes, that is true.
Did you guys hear that Jeb Bush, who was soon to be the loser of the Republican presidential primary, classified himself as an Hispanic on the 2009 voter registration form.
Did you know that?
No.
Yes, that came out.
Is that possible?
And Rick Perry promptly called for his deportation.
And you know who I really want running the country?
Someone who can't even properly fill out a voter registration form.
I got to tell you, this last week was a tough one for me.
I was going through some tough times.
I tried praying to God, but everywhere I looked, gay American citizens were eating pizza and cake, so it was impossible.
It was impossible.
Hey, the Wall Street Journal published an op-ed by Judith Miller, a piece.
She defended her being a stenographer for Dick Cheney during the run-up to the Iraq war when she would just print everything that he told her to print.
But the Wall Street Journal Judith Miller piece defending Judith Miller's Iraq war reporting was implausible because it was written by Judith Miller.
Hey, Apple Watch is all the rage this week.
So now I have a clock on my phone and I have a clock on my wrist.
I'll say what you want, but we are living in the golden age of knowing what time it is.
You know, Jimmy, I have to use the iCloud to store my extra minutes from my iWatch.
Really?
Yes.
I don't know where that cloud is.
You know, even an Apple Watch is pointless twice a day, Jim.
You're telling me.
Did you hear John Travolta came out and he gave a statement about the what's the name of that movie?
Going Clear.
Going Clear.
Yeah, he came out and he said, I can't imagine attacking Scientology.
That's what he said.
I got to say, that's his stupidest statement since, yes, let's make Battlefield Earth.
You know, Brand Paul, he is all.
a lot different from the other GOP presidential candidates in the same way that diarrhea is different from shit.
*laughter*
That's a fun joke to tell.
That is a great joke.
The end of the vulgarity is almost everybody.
Nice job, Frank.
Okay.
Got to be a caca connoisseur to get that one.
Bam!
Oh.
You know, Jimmy, by Julian Lydiaria joke, you really did me a scholar.
Ah.
Thanks for floating that one by God.
God damn it.
We are flush with food jokes.
We got a log jam of shit jokes up in this place.
Well, we got to put a lid on it.
Hey, somebody drop another one.
Hey, Lindsay, that's what made this show number two.
Ah!
Hey, what's coming up on today's show?
We're going to talk.
George Will lies about jobs under Reagan again.
Plus, Occupy Wall Street gets a big settlement from Los Angeles on police brutality.
What does Rand Paul need to do to convince the right-wing base he's sufficiently warhawkish?
The answer just might surprise you, or will it?
What else is coming up?
Fox News, too crazy for Pat Buchanan.
We're going to check that out.
Plus, a lot lot more.
We got phone calls from Bill O'Reilly and Ron Paul.
And we have an obituary.
We have a fake obituary from Jim Earl, plus a lot lot more.
That's today on the Jimmy Dorsey.
Base, he's sufficiently war hawkish.
The answer just might surprise you, or will it?
Fox News, too crazy for Pat Buchanan.
We're going to check that out.
Plus a lot lot more.
We got phone calls from Bill O'Reilly and Ron Paul.
And we have an obituary.
We have a fake obituary from Jim Earl, plus a lot lot more.
Today, I'm a Jimmy Dorshaw.
Today, I'm a Jimmy Dorshaw.
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Thank you.
For those of you who don't know who Sean Hannity is, he's the Fox News host with all the charm and insight of a brain injury.
His critics point out that he never graduated college.
You know, there was one thing that stopped Hannity from graduating college: high school.
Recently, Concrete had Sean Hannity, the neighborhood bully that's been given a TV show, talk to Pat Buchanan, former Nixon speechwriter and Republican presidential candidate who thinks Hitler had good points.
So you'd think they would have gotten along.
In an interview, in an interview that resembled angry chimps at the zoo throwing shit at each other, Pat Buchanan is here to unwind the crazy on Sean Hannity's show, but he was unable to penetrate Hannity's thick skull with basic facts.
So let's go to the video now.
And here they are talking about the Iran deal.
And Sean delivers up all the crazy right-wing, hysterical, overblown talking points that are not based in reality.
And Pat Buchanan has to talk him down.
Let's start.
Here we go.
It be a prerequisite that Iran stops being the number one state sponsor of terror, that they stop saying that it's non-negotiable, Israel's destruction, and that they stop saying death to America before we even sit down at the table with them.
No, no, Sean.
He just said, no, no.
In 1956, Khrushchev says, we will bury you, Americans.
And three years later, he was in the White House with Dwight Eisenhower.
You got to talk to your enemies.
Amadi Najad, the former president of Iran, came out and said, we're going to wipe Israel off the map.
It was beer talk.
They've said Pat, that's a good question.
You're in Office 8.
You don't hear that.
Sean, he's back teaching.
You don't believe them.
Wasn't that a mistake we made in World War II that the only person that seemed to really understand the nature of Hitler's ambitions was a guy by the name of Winston Churchill.
So here is, they love to say this.
That's their favorite meme of the crazy Warhawks is that, you know, remember Chamberlain?
He appeased.
He had a policy of appeasement with Hitler, and he didn't recognize Hitler when Hitler was Hitler.
So now, because.
Which they said all the time in the lead Up to the Iraq war.
Which they said all the time.
And now he's so everybody's Hitler.
Even and here is Pat Buchanan trying to point out Ahmedinejad was a blowhard who is back teaching college classes right now.
He was nothing.
He was president for eight years.
He did nothing.
And you guys want to crap your pants at the drop of a hat.
There isn't a Muslim you guys aren't afraid of.
Everybody's Hitler to you guys.
Okay, so here we go.
Wasn't there one guy that understood that he meant what he said.
Sean, Ahmadi Najad was in power for eight years.
He did nothing.
He was a blowhard.
Are we going to be frightened by words from some character?
What do you mean?
Blowhard.
The blowhard of the supply.
These Hezbollah rockets and other terror groups' rockets to fight a proxy war against Israel.
They're fighting a proxy war now against Saudi Arabia and Yemen.
This isn't all Iran, Pat.
What part of this are you missing?
I'll tell you what, Sean.
In Iraq, Iran is fighting ISIS and al-Qaeda.
In Syria, they're fighting ISIS on behalf of Assad.
In Yemen, they're not involved.
You think that the Iranians are friends?
Sean, they're fighting our enemies.
I'd rather have Iranians up there fighting in Turkrit and dying than American kids there.
And the reason Iraq is in the camp now very much a problem.
So you don't have any problem with the Barack Hussein Obama.
Ultimately.
So this is what Ben Mankiewicz's office.
So this is what Ben Mankowitz has said on this show, right?
Frank Ben Mankowitz has said, you know, the problem why we never can get anywhere in this country is because when you sit down to talk to somebody seriously about something, it takes 80% of your time just to unwind the crazy.
Right.
And here is Pat Buchanan.
You know, it's a sign of how far right the country's media discourse has gone when the insane Republican from 1989 has to tell the insane Republican from 2015 how insane he is.
Oh, yeah.
And this is so all this stuff.
So Sean Hannity, I mean, you can't get much more right-wing than Pat Buchanan.
And here's Sean Hannity.
So every crazy, batcrap, crazy, paranoid, delusional, untethered from reality right-wing talking point about Iran is being obliterated right now by Pat Buchanan, by Pat Buchanan on Fox News.
So let's go.
This keeps going.
Being on an Iranian nuclear weapon with their history of being a state sponsor of terrorists, fighting proxy wars, threatening Israel to annihilate them and the United States.
You have no, it is satisfying to watch another right-winger get frustrated at Sean Hannity.
So here, there's more to this.
Should I play more to this?
Okay, here I'll play.
Listen to the American head of intelligence.
He says Iran does not have a bomb program as of 2013.
Secondly, if they start building a bomb, we will know it.
Third, Iran has made some concessions that are not enough that makes them less able to get to it.
It was 2012, and we found out they were far more advanced in their nuclear production and program than we ever thought possible.
That's what Obama's own government said.
Your friend Bibby has been talking about Iran getting a bomb since 1992.
In 2006, he said they'll be building 25 bombs by the end of the decade.
Are they being?
Buchanan, you don't have any concerns at all about sitting down.
By the way, there's a big difference between the Cold War and the Russians that had nuclear weapons and America paving the way for them to get nuclear weapons, considering I would argue that before any negotiations take place, Pat, I'm not against negotiations, but project the change in behavior.
Behavior.
Stop being a state sponsor of terror.
Stop fighting proxy wars.
Stop funding groups like Hezbollah and other groups.
How's that?
Sean, Sean, in Syria, in Iraq, okay?
The Iranians and their allies, Hezbollah, the Shiite militia, who are a dreadful bunch, Assad, are fighting ISIS.
They are fighting Al-Qaeda.
The Houthi rebels in Yemen are fighting ISIS.
ironic that we're serving as their air force in those instances in large They are killing our enemies.
So what the point is Pat Buchanan's making there to blockhead Sean Hannity is that we're fighting with Iran right.
That's how messed up the Middle East is right now, that we're actually Iran, who Sean Kennedy wants to bomb right now.
Iran is actually fighting with us in Iraq against ISIS.
They're actually fighting with us right now, all over the Middle East against ISIS.
Isn't that weird?
We have a common enemy.
And so Sean Hannity is upset.
So he's making the point, Sean, we're already fighting with Iran.
We're not fighting against Iran.
So, I mean, and that's by the way.
The argument that Sean Hannity is making is the exact same.
Exactly.
He might not.
Exactly the same as what he said in the lead up to the Iraq war.
In fact, Sean Hannity might not even have been in that studio for the Pat Buchanan thing.
It might just be a tape that they played.
Yes.
15 years ago.
Yes, it does sound, it does sound exactly you can't trust Saddam Hussein.
He's lied before.
You can't trust him now.
The same thing Netanyahu said.
I don't think Sean Hannity has even shown up for work in the past eight years.
They play his old stuff over and over again.
He gets even, it gets even better.
But you're killing our enemies.
Okay, and then we're also fighting against them in Yemen with the Saudis.
So explain that logic to me.
How is that a conversation?
I'm going to tell you what the Saudis are going to do.
The Saudis are making a terrible mistake.
If they go in there on the ground, it'll be their Vietnam.
When I was a young editorial writer, Egypt went down.
If the Saudis go in there, then they're going to be surrounded by the Iranians, which, by the way, wants to clearly build a huge power for themselves in the region.
And that would be more dangerous, as the Jordanians and Egyptians believe.
Sean, the reason Iran's, if there's going to be a power in the Gulf is because your president, George W. Bush, invaded Iraq and turned it into drawing a line.
Excuse me.
So there he just explained it.
The reason why Iran has more influence in the region, you dummy, is because we invaded Iraq and took out their enemy, which was Saddam Hussein.
And we replaced him with a guy who's friendly to Iran.
They're Shia.
So he got rid of Sunnis, which ran Iraq, and we replaced him with a Shia, which runs Iran.
So that's what just happened.
Now, listen, no, Sean Hannity is going to come up with, here's the new narrative that the Iraq war was a success.
This is the new thing they're saying though.
Bill O'Reilly said that as well.
Yeah, this is the new thing.
The Iraq war was a success.
Listen to this.
I'm going to bring it up.
Point out that the surge worked and Bush's admonition is.
Hang on.
And this 2007, if the admonition of keeping intelligence and training troops on the ground were met by Obama, we wouldn't be in this position, would we?
Sean, the reason we're in this position is because Saddam Hussein, a thug, was overthrown.
His state was destroyed.
His army was broken up.
Elections were held by Bush.
Democracy Crusade.
And the Shia won.
We lost it.
The Shia won.
We lost.
The Shia won.
Iran took over Iraq.
We lost.
There's no winning.
We lost.
The surge has nothing to do with whether we won or lost Iraq.
We lost Iraq because the Shia took it over.
It's got nothing to do with the surge.
Weird day when I find myself agreeing with Pat Buchanan.
Yeah, this is a very weird day.
Pat Buchanan, I guess he doesn't have a dog in this, so he can speak truthfully because nobody's paying him to speak the other way right now at the present moment.
So he's speaking truthfully.
We can make a deal with the Iranians.
You believe peace with the Iranians in our time.
Is that what you're saying?
So Sean's like saying he frames it.
Oh, he frames it specifically in that Chamberlain way.
I'm not scared of Iran, for God's sakes.
They don't have an attorney.
Sound like Obama.
Iran is a tiny country.
They're not a threat.
You believe that?
Bibby's sitting on 200 atom bombs and he's fretting over Iran, which hasn't even produced weapons for you.
This is going to create an arms race that the likes of which the world has never seen.
One distinction.
Now you're putting nuclear weapons in the hands of radical Islamic mullahs.
You really could finish off Iran in an afternoon.
What are you frightened of, Sean?
Okay, well, I think it's a bad idea.
Just like we finished.
I think it's a bad idea.
But then you get a bomb, and I think we can stop it.
I think you're dreaming.
All right.
Thank you, sir.
I think you're hysterical, Sean.
There you go.
Can we stop?
Pat Buchanan for president.
Can we stop maligning Neville Chamberlain?
Pat was on the show promoting his new book called I Just Don't Give a Shit Anymore.
No, back to.
He doesn't.
He's like the one funded there that doesn't care if they ever ask you back or not.
You know, he's like, I love how he says, and to me, I love how he calls Iran the number one state sponsor of terrorism.
If he actually looked into it, he would find that Saudi Arabia has been winning all these sponsoring terrorism championships for decades.
In fact, wasn't it 18 out of the 19 hijackers who on 9-11 came from Saudi Arabia?
Terrorism is very attractive.
You know, I joined ISIS two months ago, and I still have not gotten my dismembership card.
But you see, what's even more frustrating is people bringing up the peace in our time bullshit.
We have to stop maligning Neville Chamberlain, and I'm very serious about that.
He saved Britain's ass by delaying war for another eight or ten months.
He knew that America could get in, right?
Right.
Well, so they could rebuild their military and organize an army.
They didn't have a military.
They had no weapons.
They had no organized army.
If they had gone into war immediately, like the Hawks and like Churchill wanted, they would have lost in the first fucking month.
And we'd still be speaking German in London right now.
Well, Pat Buchanan makes the, let me see if he makes it here.
I don't want the mullahs of Iran.
I take it.
I think we could stop like Churchill took the words of Hitler seriously and Chamberlain thought he could have peace.
How did Churchill?
How did Britain end up when it followed Churchill's advice?
Well, then they actually won the war.
That's how they did it.
Won the war, they wound up on American food stamps.
Pat not to fight the Nazis.
No, their option was to form an alliance with France and tell the Germans if you cross it, you're at war, and they wouldn't have had a war.
I did dreaming.
You should read my book.
You're dreaming.
You should read.
So Pat Buchanan making it.
How about Pat?
I love that.
You know, whenever the dose of reality somehow breaks out at Fox News Studios, it's always a treat to watch.
Okay, I got a phone call from Bill O'Reilly.
Oh, good.
He called me drunk.
Jimmy Jewel.
This is Bill O'Reilly.
Longtime caller, first-time listener.
How are you doing, you chelpy atheist lesbian?
I wish you a happy Easter.
No?
Good.
You secularists are tearing this country apart.
Refusing to celebrate the resurrection of the Messiah with Bunny Wabbits shaking out small days.
That's waging a war on Christians.
It's about time somebody had the courage to say it.
Thanks to pig panthers like you, bigots are facing discrimination in Indiana.
Not right.
Bigots are becoming an endangered minority in this country.
Nobody has to look out for them.
Regular people, the folks, want government out of our wedding cakes.
The only time you can trust government is when they're killing black people.
That's something you dirty drug fiends like yourself can't understand.
Time for refill.
Here's the fact for the day: dip the bottle right into the glass.
Say when.
I didn't say when.
I didn't say when.
Did you see my made-for-TV movie, Killing Jesus?
Me neither.
It got the National Geographic Channel's biggest ratings.
Next to freshwater tuna hunters.
Reading what people have been saying about it.
This is my review of the reviews.
I don't like them.
Percy Crowley of the New Haven Daily said killing Jesus was turgid, tedious, and historic.
Well, Percy Crowley, I give your review five golden turkeys, two thumbs, and three turtle doves.
But Ned Frucker's review on his blog Transformers Movie News says that killing Jesus was captivating and compelling.
Well, Ned, this is your lucky day because I give your review three Pauline Kale handbags and four unsold Manny Farmer paintings.
Ha ha ha!
That's a catchy tune.
At Fox, we can't wait for Hillary McDyke Clinton to make her announcement.
Send emails on private servers, a major scandal.
Just like Vince Foster, Whitewater, and Cankles.
This is some country under surveillance agency that spied on everybody.
You can't trust foreigners.
I know because I covered four wars with my pen.
Speaking of which, I haven't been able to get any lead in my pencil for over a month.
Okay, Jimbo.
I got to eat some Play-Doh.
This whore of an ex-wife said I need therapy.
Why would I go to therapy when I could talk to you?
Oh, I think I'm entering the spin zone.
This room can't keep still.
Illegal my life.
Okay, that's Bill O'Reilly listen.
Are you enjoying today's show?
We have some cheese being wrapped up on the table.
And I want to take this moment to thank everybody who thinks about the Jimmy Door Show.
When they buy stuff from Amazon, everybody buys stuff from Amazon.
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It's a great, a lot of people are doing that now.
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When you buy something from Amazon, swing by the Jimmy DoorComedy.com.
Click on our Amazon box and then help support the show.
Okay, let's get to the second half of the show coming up right now.
Welcome back to the second half of the Jimmy Door Show.
A lot coming up in the second half.
Ron Paul is going to call in a little bit.
But right now, we're talking about Occupy Wall Street had a settlement against the LAPD for police brutality.
And we're going to talk about the interesting facts about that case.
And I'm joined to talk about it.
You know him, you love him from Mystery Science Theater 3000.
TV's Frank Frank Connoff is on the phone from New York City.
In the studio with me, I have hilarious comedian Jim Earle, the author of Morning Remembrance and former writer for The Daily Show.
Also from the miserable liberal blog Steph Samarano.
Comedian Michael Schertzer joins us and Edwin Umanya from TYT.
Let's get back to the studio.
And we're going to talk about the LAPD settlement with the Occupy Wall Street protesters.
And now another reading from the book, Morning Remembrance, fake obituaries of real dead people by Jim Earle.
Thank you very much, Jimmy.
Actually, this one is not in the book, but many others just like this are in it.
I'm going to cut that up.
Rudy R. Purz, creator of the Pillsbury Doughboy.
Advertising whiz, Rudy R. Purge, creator of the iconic Pillsbury Doughboy, pinched his final loaf this week after failing frantically to pop his fresh breadstick.
Upon hearing the news, Liz Nordley, president of Pillsbury, released a statement saying, quote, we paid that man off years ago.
We owe him nothing.
Under pressure to produce a mascot representing bleached flour, thiamine, ammona nitrate, sodium acid, pyrophosphate, aluminum, and yeast.
Purs created his first three-dimensional doughboy of doll of clay in 1965 at the cost of $16,000, or roughly what you'd pay a surgeon to remove half your large intestine.
You know, Jimmy, the pudgy man of dough became such a hit.
Brian Wilson once cited it as his main influence behind releasing pet sounds.
To distinguish the Doughboy from the actual rolls of dough, Purge gave it a blush, a scarf, a chef's hat, two big blue eyes, and a warm chuckle.
As for the penis, it gets amputated every time you slam the can against the kitchen table.
You know, his chuckle of hee when poked in the stomach became his trademark after other catchphrases were rejected, including no, please no, when someone bit off his head and what the huh?
When repeatedly poked in the ass with somebody's finger.
Purs requested his body be stuffed into a small cardboard cylinder.
That was another reading from the book Morning Remembrance: Fake funny obituaries of real dead people by Jim Earl.
Available at JimEarl.com.
*Mumbling*
Okay, let's get back to the studio, and we're talking about the recent award for damages to Occupy Wall Street protesters.
I'm joined in the studio.
You know him, you love him from Mystery Science Theater 3000.
It's TV's Frank Frank Conniff is on the phone from New York City.
In the studio, it's former writer for the Daily Show, Jim Earl, and author of the book Morning Remembrance.
Also with us from the Miserable Liberal blog at Steph Samurano and comedian Michael Schertzer, Robert Yasamura, and Edwin Umanya.
Good.
God damn it.
So in October 2011, the City Council of Los Angeles passed a resolution supporting the Occupy Wall Street protesters.
Wow.
59 days later, LAPD Chief Charlie Beck and Mayor Antonio Villaragosa decided to shut the camp down due to concerns of children living in the encampment.
And Robert, what do we say here at the Jimmy Door show?
Whenever someone uses children as a defense and they're not talking about healthcare or education, you can dismiss them.
Yes.
When someone uses children as an argument to do, oh, we have to put the children.
And whenever.
What about the children syndrome?
What about the children?
Unless they're advocating for more education funds and more health care for them, you can dismiss them.
Okay.
So I was watching that night when the cops, the LA cops, burst out of City Hall and just started arresting people in a very organized, very brutal way.
And I thought, wow, I thought you couldn't do that in America.
I thought that this was okay, that we have freedom, the right to peaceably assemble and for redress of our government, petition our government for grievances.
Redress of our grievances.
That's it.
Thank you, Michael.
I thought that's what I thought when I was watching.
I'm like, well, I'm sure the heads will roll and things are going to happen because this is illegal.
Obviously, this is...
Here's how LA Times reported it.
Here's how they, I'm going to read.
This is the article from the LA Times.
The Los Angeles City Council approved $2.5 million agreement Wednesday to settle all claims involving Occupy LA protesters arrested during a violent clash with LAPD in 2011.
Although the city council agreed to settle, the deal must still be approved by the U.S. District Court.
Cheryl Ekel and five other demonstrators filed a lawsuit in December 2012, alleging the police department used shock and awe to forcibly remove hundreds of protesters from a campsite on the south side of City Hall.
But in court documents, protesters allege that the military tactics resulted in nearly 300 arrests and violated their first, fourth, 14th Amendment rights to assembly, association, freedom from unlawful seizure, and liberty.
The protesters claimed their handcuffs were tight and they were refused basic rights, including access to water or bathroom facilities.
They alleged they were told to urinate and defecate on themselves according to the lawsuit.
At the time, demonstrators, first of all, I love that the LA Times, four years later, still has to write an article and use words like they alleged.
Like, haven't you investigated this yet?
Yeah.
You guys don't know for sure whether this happened or not?
This is all you can do?
That's the most you can do is say they alleged.
Well, did they?
You've had four years to investigate this.
They don't want to piss off their sources in the DA.
In the DA, right?
So at a time, at the time, demonstrators from the local branch of the National Occupy Movement maintained their eight-week encampment 24 hours a day, seven days a week, to protest economic inequality and bank bailouts according to the lawsuit.
Signs were posted notifying the group that the City Hall lawn would be closed at night because it fell under the regulations of the City Parks Department.
But the encampment remained, and protesters alleged the city was violating the law by forcing the group to move.
On the night of November 30th, officers in Riker removed the protesters from the campsite and nearby sidewalks after declaring the gathering an unlawful assembly.
And that's the entire article.
That's why I read that because that's the entire article.
Jesus.
That's it.
A couple of alleged, the protesters alleged they weren't allowed to go to the bathroom.
That's basically what this article is.
I've read articles and highlights for children that were longer.
And had more research.
And harder hitting, yeah.
Yes.
So I was like, they gave him $2.4 million because their handcuffs were tight and they didn't let them go.
Really?
They gave him 2.4.
First of all, here's the ultimate irony.
People are upset that they don't have a voice in their government anymore.
And we now live under a crony capitalism and that they see that a handful of people, the 1%, have hijacked our economy through Congress.
They've rigged the system and then they crashed that economy while making themselves ungodly rich.
So people were protesting this because they got bailed out with taxpayer funds.
So what did Wall Street do?
They took some of those taxpayer funds that we were giving them and they gave it to the cops.
They gave it to the cops.
They donated, I forget how many millions of dollars Jamie Dimon gave to the New York Police Department, but he gave it to him a couple million, at least four or five, I think.
So they're protesting Wall Street getting taxpayer bailout money.
They're protesting the unequalness of all this.
The ultimate irony is they take their taxpayer money, give it to the cops who are supposed to be there to protect their Constitution, and they give them the money, their own taxpayer money, to go break the Constitution and crack their heads.
And guess that's exactly what happened.
So the people who were protesting the misuse of tax funds got tax funds misused to pay cops to crack their heads open.
That's kind of ironic.
He gave them $4.6 million.
Jamie Dimon did.
So I'm like, so that's, why would they really give them two million?
Why would they give them $2.4 million?
And then I found this.
There was a guy named Patrick Meehan.
He's a writer for Fox's sitcom Family Guy.
Well, he wrote a blog about, he was there that night and he got arrested.
And here was just a paragraph from him, which the LA Times apparently didn't interview him.
They didn't know he was arrested.
They didn't interview anybody.
The LA Times.
Was he arrested for the protest or because he writes for family guy?
Here's what he said.
He said, they forced us to kneel on hard pavement of a parking garage for seven straight hours.
Come on.
Wow.
Kneeling on concrete in a parking garage for seven straight hours with our hands tightly zip cuffed behind our backs for seven hours.
Some people began to pass out.
One man rolled to the ground and vomited for a long, long time before falling unconscious.
The LAPD officers watched and did nothing.
You know, that sounds like a lot more than $2 million to me.
That should be $2 million per person.
That's what it sounds like to me.
And they had to defecate in their pants and go to the bathroom in their citizens.
That's a writer for a top 20 television show.
That's what the cops in L.A. did to him.
I know this isn't a contest, but my girlfriend is a public defender downtown.
And this is commonplace for poor people who are arrested for being poor and who have emotional problems and should be in the hospital.
Right.
They're put on, they're forced to sleep on concrete floors without any mattress or blankets.
Their medications are taken away from them.
And if you're a diabetic and you get arrested, say goodbye.
You know, you're not going to have, they can take away your medication and it just.
And here's another irony.
Here's another.
I don't know if I can handle another.
Here's another one.
So the banks commit all this fraud.
Nobody goes to jail.
Nobody even gets taken to court.
They pay it.
Jamie Dimon paid, I think they paid a $13 billion fine last year, the biggest fine in the history of fines.
$13 billion?
Nobody goes to jail.
He found that in the couch.
Nobody goes to jail.
So there's all this malfeasance.
It's so horrible.
We have to give you the worst fine, but nobody's going to jail.
So nobody's a criminal.
And guess how he pays that fine?
He takes taxpayer money and pays the fine so he doesn't go to jail.
And guess what happened?
Those cops, they broke those people's constitutional rights and they abused them brutally and humiliated them.
And guess what?
None of those guys go to jail either.
Guess who pays their fine?
Taxpayers pay their fine.
So the taxpayers pay Jamie Dimon's fine and the taxpayer pays the cops fine.
Jamie Dimon doesn't go to jail.
Villa Ragosa doesn't go to jail.
Charlie Beck doesn't go to jail.
None of those dirty cops go to jail.
none of those dirty cops.
Nobody, not even named.
None of them are even named.
And the lapdog Los Angeles Times, what a despicable article.
They're still four years later saying alleged.
You know, New York City, New York City paid out $17.9 million to more than 1,800 protesters arrested during the 2004 Republican National Convention.
Did you know that?
No.
Yeah, they paid $17, almost $18 million to 1,800 protesters arrested.
So what they're doing is they're systematically breaking the Constitution.
So you think you have freedom of speech?
You don't.
They'll just arrest you, shut you up, and then they'll pay fine with the taxes you paid them.
Nobody goes to jail.
Nobody gets fired.
Nobody gets demoted.
Nobody gets humiliated.
They just take taxpayer money and they pay the people whose constitution.
And they're going to, they did that because 1,800 people were protesting.
So we can just silence you.
And then we pay a fine later.
Well, it's privatizing the Bill of Rights.
It's the same thing with any fine against the oil companies.
It's all our money.
An Iraq war veteran injured by police during Occupy protests in Oakland has been awarded $4.5 million after being struck in the head by a beanbag fired by police.
Scott.
And I don't think that cop got fired.
I don't think that cop got prosecuted.
I don't think that he did such a bad thing that you have to pay someone $5 million, but nobody goes to jail.
So bankers and cops don't go to jail.
Well, the jails are crowded.
If that cop was any good, he would have killed the guy.
Yeah.
The UC Davis, University of California Davis, paid out $1 million to 21 demonstrators who were peppered sprayed during the Occupy protest in November 2011.
Why don't they just pay for their college tuition?
That's what they were protesting.
That's what they were protesting for.
This was $30,000 per demonstrator and $250,000 in attorney fees.
The university apologized, and the officer who pepper sprayed the protesters was fired.
He was fired.
He didn't go to jail.
He wasn't prosecuted.
It was so bad they had to pay everybody a million dollars, but he didn't really do anything bad.
By the way, it's not your money.
Can I just say these numbers are very low?
I mean, the 4.5 to the Iraq war veteran is a substantial amount.
But for the most part, these settlements are very low.
And the reason is, is that Occupy Wall Street and a lot of its various other demonstrations, they weren't very well organized.
They were very grassroots.
They weren't centralized.
God help the city of Los Angeles, the city of New York, if any of these protest movements centralize themselves, organize themselves, and then hire a good attorney because they could, I mean, $2.5 million thing is as well.
But the point is, that doesn't come out of the mayor's pocket, the police chief.
That comes out of my pocket.
That comes out of your pocket.
That's not a fine is supposed to deter.
That's not deterring anybody.
Nobody's being deterred.
Cops are acting exactly how they've always acted, and they will always act.
Let me just give you one more stat.
Chicago, in 2013, Chicago paid out $84 million in settlements for police abuse.
Wow.
In 2013 alone.
Wow.
Color me not shocked.
Los Angeles in 2011 paid out $54 million for police brutality.
That was a bad week.
It's not good.
Bloomberg News estimated that New York City has paid out as much as $735 million for police abuse claims in one year.
Oh, my God.
Almost a billion dollars in police brutality claims.
It's just a few bad apples.
It's still not as expensive as apartments in New York.
730, still, still just a couple of bad apples.
It's not a culture, not a culture of corrupt police who see you as the enemy, the citizen as the enemy, who is not to be trusted.
And by the way, it's again, it's the police's safety is paramount in every situation.
No matter what the situation is, it's the police.
The guy he grabbed for my water pistol.
I was afraid he was going to shoot me with my water pistol.
That's always the excuse.
I feared for my life.
And we saw this latest video.
South Carolina.
That's the tip of the iceberg.
Guess what?
Until that, thank God there was a person standing there because in Ferguson, there was nobody there with a camera.
And so we're supposed to believe that Al Kai with a guy with a gun, a six foot three guy with a gun, was afraid of another guy running away from him 30 feet away.
He was afraid of him.
So he had to shoot him 12 times.
So here's how this was reported before that videotape came out.
So in South Carolina, we all know the story that happened.
Cop said, cop pulls a black guy over in a Mercedes for a broken taillight.
Guys tries to taser him.
The cop tries to, he says, hey, the guy was trying to grab for my taser.
We see on the videotape the black guy's running away.
The cop shoots him eight times in the back as the guy's running away.
He hits him five, five, five times.
Hit him five times.
And then he cuffs him when the guy's laying there.
And then he goes over and plants evidence on him.
We see it in the videotape.
He goes and plants.
He goes, oh, here's a taser.
And he throws it down next to him.
And by the way, that's how it was going to go down.
That's how it was being reported.
Local news, while NBC affiliate news too, here's how they first started off by saying a spokesman said, but then they dropped saying a spokesman said.
And then they just started reporting what the police said as if it was fact.
This is how they reported it.
The officer deployed his department-issued taser in an effort to detain the driver, which was not effective.
An altercation between the officer and the driver took place, leading to a struggle over the officer's taser.
During the struggle, the suspect gained control of the taser to use it against the officer.
The officer then discharged his service weapon to stop the threat.
Even though life-saving efforts were conducted by officers prior to EMS's arrival and EMS's efforts on the scene, the suspect was pronounced dead.
That's how it was reported by the local NBC news affiliate until the videotape came out.
It wasn't saying, hey, the officer alleges or is this was none of this, no alleged, no nothing.
No, this is what happened.
The officer deployed his department issued tape.
That's not what happened.
We'd all know now this is not what happened.
Isn't that an interesting juxtaposition?
Four years later, they're still saying alleged about Occupy, but for this right now, nope, totally happened.
And people wonder why people get their news from YouTube.
People say that all the time about the Young Turks.
Who gets their news from YouTube?
Why would people, why wouldn't they?
That's why.
It's only by sheer chance that that was caught on some of the other people.
Otherwise, that would be the reality that he killed that.
That would be the reality.
That would be the reality.
And there was immediately a smear campaign against the victim.
Immediately.
And that's, and by the way, that's why people listen to KPFK.
That's why people listen to Pacifica.
That's why people get their news from the Young Turks.
That's why people go to Truth Dig.
That's because we're not bought and paid for by corporations.
We're not a corporate.
We can speak the truth.
And that's the beauty of doing this, Joe, here at KPFK.
And this is gross.
Well, that's true until Grubhub gets a hold of you.
And then you're going to be in their pocket.
That's Grubhub.
Grubhub.
Never mind.
It's Mark Marin's sponsor.
Oh, it's a sponsor?
Yeah, okay.
So I just, I thought that was a pretty interesting.
They're paying out millions of dollars.
Nobody's fired.
Nobody gets arrested.
Nobody, nobody.
Chicago, $84 million in one year.
New York City, almost a billion dollars in police brutality awards.
And yet we're supposed to, they're mad at De Belasio.
They're turning their back on de Blasio.
We have an out-of-control policing culture, and that goes coast to coast.
And these Occupy Wall Street numbers show it.
The numbers I just read show it.
And I did very little digging for this, by the way.
Very little.
That's why you were right.
Your instinct was right.
Those numbers did seem low until I...
Jimmy, unarmed black people getting shot in the back may seem bad, but it's nothing compared to the minor property damage that Occupy Wall Street has.
That's what happened.
Thank you.
Bye.
Bye.
Hey, this is Jimmy.
The idea of Sir Walter Raleigh in a can.
What?
Is this Congressman Paul?
Do you have Sir Walter Raleigh in a can?
Dr. Paul, are you trying to prank me?
Yeah, I'm just funny with you, Jimmy.
You know, all that maybe you had Sir Walter Raleigh in a can.
Well, I don't.
Well, that's too bad, because if you did, I might have something to say about it.
Something that would make you feel foolish.
Dr. Paul.
All right.
So your son announced he's running for president the other day.
He did.
Well, I'll stop the process.
The pretty little boy who's been running for president since forever is now running for president.
Also in the headlines, water is wet.
Dr. Paul, I mean, you came up and sat on the stage with him.
You must be a little excited.
Well, well, of course.
I mean, I'm a good dad.
I went to all of his recitals and baseball games.
And guess what?
He's not a baseball player, a ballerine, or even really anything, as near as I can tell.
So I went to his little I want to be president thing.
I mean, that's just not being a dick to your kid right there.
Yeah, I noticed you didn't speak at his announcement rally, though.
Y'all, y'all, heavens, no.
I'm much too plain spoken for most folks.
They don't want me talking on the campaign.
Like, what would you have said that would have been so problematic?
Oh, well, the first words out of my mouth would have been, what are all these jiggers doing all the same thing as our white women?
What?
Dr. Paul, that's not plain spoken.
That's just racist.
Well, yeah, that's what people mean when they say plain spoken.
You know, there's a lot more to that Rod Paul phone call.
You know, there's a lot more to that Ron Paul phone call.
And so do I. How do I, why do I hear it, Jimmy?
You go to JimmyDoorComedy.com, you click on join premium, you make your $5 donation, you get access.
Hey, guess what?
You pay all up front for the whole year.
You get a month for free.
So if you want to get the premium content, you paid all at once.
We're going to give you a month free.
It's only $55.
Isn't that nice?
So $5 a month or $55 for the whole year.
So thanks to everybody who is a premium member.
And thanks to everybody who becomes one today, because by far, that is the best thing that helps support this show.
Today's show was written.
That's right.
It was written by Frank Conniff, Mike McRae, Mark Van Landuitt, Michael Schertzer, Steph Zamorano, and somebody else, I'm sure.
All the voices today performed by the one and only of the inimitable Mike McRae, who can be found at mikemcrae.com.
Okay, that's it for this week.
Until next week, this is Jimmy Dorr saying.
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