Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program, the Jimmy Dore Show.
This week, Pete Seeger died at the age of 94.
Seeger's career spanned eight decades, and he lived just long enough to see everything he worked for repealed by the House of Representatives.
For 70 years, he sang for a variety of liberal causes, including labor unions, civil rights against Vietnam, and later for the environment.
What I'm saying is there was no pleasing this guy.
Seeger's contribution to folk music was immense.
Without him, it wouldn't have been nearly as big a deal when Bob Dylan went electric.
After much early success, Seeger's career hit a rough patch in the 50s when he was blacklisted.
He was subpoenaed by the House and American Activities Committee, but refused to testify.
Seeger did offer to sing, but only folk songs.
Unfortunately, the members of the committee preferred Pat Boone.
After this, Seeger's concerts were picketed by the John Birch Society, but these protests were not successful because they could never get the harmonies right.
As for the famous incident when Dylan switched to an electric guitar, Seeger later said he became angry only because the music was too loud to hear Dylan's lyrics.
When Seeger finally heard them, he got even angrier.
While many of his legendary folk songs, such as We Shall Overcome, were adapted from earlier versions, Seeger always credited his sources, which is more than you could say for Led Zeppelin.
In the 90s, Seeger received a Kennedy Center honor and the National Medal of Arts.
He also won numerous Grammy Awards, the last one in 2011.
And let's not forget, Pete Seeger accomplished all of this while playing a banjo.
I want a country match.
It's the Jimmy Dore Show.
The show for...
Up-minded, lowly-lovered Lappies.
The kind of people that are...
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper save.
It's hard to talk to you, T. And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore!
Hi, everybody.
Welcome to this week's show.
I'm joined on the phone from New York City in Mystery Science Theater 3000.
It's TV's Frank, Frank Connoff.
Hi, Frank.
Hello there.
Yay!
Across the glass for me.
It's the host of Comedy and Everything Else, our resident Latina, Steph Zemorano, was here.
Steph, let me hear your voice.
Carpe Diem.
Yes, all right.
Across from her, it's the former writer for the Daily Show, hilarious comedian, and host of 30 Minutes of Crap, which can be found if you click on his name at my website, 30 Minutes of Crap.
Yes.
The new hilarious podcast.
Thank you.
It's Steve Rosenfield.
Hey, Steve.
Hey, Jimmy.
Thank you for that.
How is the 30 Minutes of Crap coming?
We've got some more crap coming out this week.
About 22 minutes.
22 minutes?
No, we actually have 30 in episode 3, and then we have episode 4.
And you do that with, of course, friend of the show, Jim Earle.
Yes, Jim Marley.
Okay, next to him.
I hear it's the number two podcast.
Oh, Frank.
Frank nails it.
Okay, next to Steve, it's hilarious comedian Robert Yasamura.
Hey, Robert, how are you?
I'll be on Pez tomorrow night.
You'll be on Pez, that show.
Personal essay show.
It is at the actors.
Oh, I'm sorry, it's tonight, given the day podcast tonight.
So the 31st at 8 p.m. at Actors Comedy Studio in Hollywood.
Okay, fantastic.
I've been on that show.
It's a great show.
That's a great show.
I'm really proud to be on it.
Okay, now let's get to the jokes before we get to the jokes.
Hey, if you consider the deportation of Justin Bieber to be a priority, I'm going to say you have all the substance of a Justin Bieber fan.
Yes.
Hey, by the way, today, I don't know if you've heard, so Rand Paul, we all know he's going to be running for president.
He's already trying to undercut Hillary Clinton.
He slammed, he slammed her over the Lewinsky scandal.
This is true.
He just slammed her over the Monica Lewinsky scandal.
Newsflash.
Yeah, he's also worried about the Y2K bug and the growing popularity of the Spice Girl.
Nice.
Rand Paul.
Making fun of people's side ponytails.
Rand Paul.
Rand Paul.
By the way, Rand Paul is going to be running against Mike Huckabee, and they say Mike Huckabee leads the 2016 GOP race.
In other words, he'll be available to do Fox News commentary on Hillary's 2017 State of the Union.
Hey, by the way, did you hear that the MSNBC had to apologize again?
No.
Yeah, they apologized to Reince Priebus and the Republican Party.
And that makes me think that MSNBC stands for Must Show No Balls Constantly.
By the way, I don't know if you saw the State of the Union, but the Republicans were very excited to hear all the positive initiatives they'll be obstructing in 2014.
The GOP's plan to replace Obamacare covers pre-existing conditions as long as you blame the pre-existing condition on Benghazi.
Nice.
Good job.
Sprinks.
Okay, so what's coming up on today's show?
Well, we're going to check out they've taken lunches away from poor kids.
MSNBC launches yet another apology.
June Cleaver does the Republicans response to the State of the Union.
Plus, we're going to talk about the 1% are being persecuted like the Jews were in the Holocaust.
It's true.
And plus, we're going to talk, probably get to the end of Safe Story with Glenn Greenwald and Jeffrey Toobin.
plus Mike Huckabee, plus net neutrality, and a lot, lot more.
We got phone calls today from...
Great.
That's great.
We have President Obama call in.
We have the lady who did the response to the...
We have the Kathy McMorris.
Kathy McMorris Rogers, who did the response to the State of the Union for the Republicans, plus a lot lot more.
That's today on the Jimmy Dore Show.
Oh you you So Barack Obama called me, and he wanted to talk about this State of the Union again.
Yeah.
Barry, oh, here.
How'd you like that favorite you dropped on Tuesday, huh?
I don't know, man.
It was like a meal of white rice and scared milk.
If you watch closely, even I nod it off a little bit in the middle of it.
Well, it's not the speech I wanted to give.
The speech I wanted goes a little something like this.
*coughs*
Hey, Congress.
Fuck you.
Fuck you with a two-by-four in a dark room without lube.
Because seriously.
Nismal wage.
Immigration reform.
Universal background checks.
Extension of unemployment.
All shit scored by the CBO and overwhelmingly supported by the public.
And you guys are all, I don't want to pass long.
I want 20.
And I shout out the banner.
The bar keeps something.
What I meant to say was, your old man was a drunk cracker.
You're a drunk cracker.
And a country that lets you be speaker of the motherfucking house should be flushed down the toilet of history.
Oh, and Iran?
Get this, John McCain.
Shut the fuck up, old man.
The non-senile grown-ups have got this one, okay?
So go back to watch a matlock, you weird smeller motherfucker.
Because what you know about foreign affairs wouldn't fill a rat's colon.
And while we're out at that bitch who did the dickhead response, where did you find her?
The lightweight store?
Man, if that chick was water, you could run through her and not get wet.
No kidding.
I was forgetting what she was saying as she was saying it.
Seriously, every few seconds it was like deja vu.
I'd be like, I know this lady from somewhere, don't I?
Oh, yeah, from last minute.
Tell you what, people.
Here's the state of the union.
We are fucked.
And if we want to be great again, we should shut the whole thing down, bulldoze the ashes, and start from scratch.
I hate you fucking people.
I'm just out.
That's it?
That's how you end it?
No.
Okay.
jimmy door show is available as a podcast for free on iTunes or for other ways to subscribe go to jimmydoorcomedy.com and while you're there you can listen to past episodes and you can comment on them too remember Jimmy spells his last name D-O-R-E JimmyDoorcomedy.com so what we all watched the president's speech I liked I particularly liked the part where he had the young soldier stand up at the end and
they completely exploited this guy's horrible pain and tragedy.
I like that part.
I wish she had pandered more.
Go ahead.
That was really horrible.
And it was so horrible, I really, I don't even want to talk about it, but I feel like I have to.
What Barack Obama did was he had this kid who was on 10th tour and Barack Obama said he was on his 10th tour.
And then he had a roadside bomb and now the guy's messed up.
He has brain injury and he can't use his left side and he's there and everyone's applauding him.
And Barack Obama says he was on his 10th tour.
And I was like, yeah, you know why he's on his 10th tour?
Because you don't have the spine to take us out of a stupid war that has no point to it that was over when we got into it a month afterwards.
When Barack Obama took over the war in Afghanistan, the head of that war said, this head of the CIA said, we have about 100 al-Qaeda left in Afghanistan.
Here we are, six years later, still in Afghanistan.
And this kid got almost killed.
His life is ruined now.
For what?
For nothing.
So Dick Cheney could get a $35 million check.
That's why.
All right?
So, and then everyone stands up and cheers him, the longest ovation of the night.
Yeah, look what we did to you for nothing.
For nothing.
Look what we did to this guy.
We ruined him.
Oh, come on, Jimmy.
They're going to pass legislation to take care of these soldiers in the military?
By the way, they just passed legislation to cut the soldiers'retirement by 1% every year.
That's an expensive applause break.
That's an expensive, yes.
When Obama said he was going to close Guantanamo, I thought I was watching a rerun.
I thought it was TV land all the time.
Yeah.
I'm like, I've heard this before.
So, so it was, so that, that was the most despicable.
I mean, and a lot of people think it was great.
Oh, isn't it great how he's paying tribute to the military?
And nobody has a discussion about why we're still, what, no, what a tribute to the military would be to honor their commitment to serve and give them something to serve for or to take them home instead of having them die for nothing.
How about, how about make sure that their homes weren't foreclosed on these last, several, you know, this last decade.
They just, that budget deal they just did with Paul Ryan and Patty Murray, they literally balanced that budget by cutting retirement for the military.
Well, we should applaud that, right?
And then the guy comes back and he's got brain injury and he goes, wow, these guys are supping.
Let's keep sending them.
Let's send them forever.
In fact, Barack Obama has signed a thing they're going to keep sending them there until 2024, at least.
It's unbelievable.
Well, but the whole point of what Obama was saying about the guy is, is the American spirit of overcoming adversity.
Yes.
And part of the adversity that this guy has to overcome is some of Obama's policy.
Yes.
Yes.
So then they got, so then they did the Republican response and they had June Cleaver come out.
Yeah, they say time travel is impossible, but somehow they got a woman from the 50s and it sounded to me, I don't know if you heard it, Frank, but it sounded like her solution to the nation's problems is milk and cookies.
Hey, sounds good to me.
Okay, so we'll listen, let's listen to a little bit of it right now.
Let's listen to a little bit of it and we'll just talk about it as we go along.
What an honor it is for me to be with you after the president's State of the Union.
Tonight, we honor America.
Okay, that's two honors in 15 seconds, right?
She starts off with two honors.
It's an honor for me, honor for you.
I'm an honorable, we're all honorable.
Honor, honor, honor.
Okay, here we go.
A nation that has witnessed the greatest rise of freedom and opportunity our world has ever seen.
Opportunity?
A nation where we are not defined by our limits, but by our potential.
And a nation they love to talk about opportunity and potential.
So you watch that when you hear the right wing talk now about the economy.
They talk about opportunity and potential because if they talked about it any other way, like measuring how well people do under this system, it would be woefully lacking.
So they have to go, no, you have the opportunity.
We can't guarantee outcomes, but we can guarantee opportunity because if you look at the outcomes, most of the people's outcomes are horrible.
Go ahead, Frank.
I was just hoping she'd open her speech with a little more banality.
Yes.
Yeah, I was actually, I think the Republicans were the winner that night because I thought that Obama's speech was a real nothing waste of time, but they beat it.
They beat it.
This is really, really a waste of time, man.
Yes.
They managed to say absolutely nothing.
Where a girl who worked at the McDonald's drive-thru to help pay for college can be with you from the United States Capitol.
But the most important moments right now Can I say something, Jimmy?
There's not a chance right now a young person working at McDonald's would be able to afford to attend college and work that job.
a minimum wage i don't know how i don't understand so i'm so glad she's like us she's working at a fast food place she looks just it all worked out for her she met a captain in the navy and uh Commander.
Or a commander in the Navy.
Even better, right?
Here we go.
But the most important moments right now aren't happening here.
They're not in the Oval Office or in the House chamber.
They're in your homes.
Kissing your kids goodnight, figuring out how to pay the bills.
Getting ready for tomorrow's doctor's visit.
Waiting to hear from those you love serving in Afghanistan.
She's really connected to us.
She's searching for that big job interview.
I guess we know who the congresswoman was who won the essay contest to give the Republican response.
This isn't what this sounds like.
It is so saccharine.
It's unbelievable.
After all, we the people have been the foundation of the people.
She stole that from something.
I think she got that from somewhere.
Listen to how empty this is that she says.
Interview.
After all, we the people have been the foundation of America since her earliest days.
Really?
I thought it was the cows.
What do you mean?
Of course we, what does that mean?
We the people have been the foundation of America.
Wait, you mean the Calvinists?
She refers to America as her, which is, I guess, why America only gets 70% of what folks are.
Okay, back to her speech.
People from all walks of life and from all corners of the world.
People who come to America because here, no challenge is too great and no dream too big.
Oh, yeah, try to pass immigration reform.
How about that?
That's too big.
We're actually trying to make it the challenge of getting into this country.
Too big.
Too big.
That's one of our things that we're doing.
Yes.
That's the genius of America.
Yes.
Tonight the president made more promises that sound good, but won't actually solve the problems facing Americans.
We want you to have a better plan.
We've got some other platitudes that we think better life.
The president wants that too.
But we part ways when it comes to how to make that happen.
So tonight.
Yeah, he has ideas and you have nothing.
Nothing.
That would be to share a more hopeful Republican vision.
More hopeful.
One that empowers you, not the government.
It's one that champions free markets and trusts people to make their own decisions, not a government that decides for you.
It helps working families rise above the limits of poverty and protects our most vulnerable.
And it gives everyone cotton candy and treats in their sock drawer and a quarter for their tooth when it falls out.
Our vision for America starts and ends with the Care Bears.
Yes.
She's talking about Uncle Sugar, right?
She's talking about Uncle Sugar.
Who is she responding to, Khrushchev?
Who is she talking to?
And it's one where Washington plays by the same rules that you do.
It's a vision that is fair and offers the promise of a better future for every American.
If you would have told me as a little girl that I would one day put my hand on the Bible and be sworn in as a 200th woman to serve in the House of Representatives, I wouldn't have thought it possible.
I still don't know why it's possible.
Yeah, it was her.
You're not making a good case for women.
Because you're the result of bootstrapping, then maybe equal pay is not a good idea, Jimmy.
Is this speech?
Is this a speech or an ad for Vicoden?
Some side effects include.
Nausea.
But she is right that Obama's promises won't solve America's problems because the House will refuse to vote on them.
Right?
Exactly.
I like it.
She goes, we want your family to be in charge of your life, not the government, which means if you get sick, we hope you have a doctor in your family.
Actually, this speech was actually a tape of her audition to be in the remake of Sephardwatch.
Yes.
Well, Frank, she didn't know she was giving a response to President Obama.
She thought she was reading a bedtime story.
Yes, but you know.
She's getting groggy.
Can everybody give her a little credit?
Did she have to drink water?
She didn't have to drink water.
No, she did not.
Share enough.
Come on.
She got through the whole speech with that.
Yes.
And let me say this about her story about McDonald's working at McDonald's and now she's in Congress.
But her constituents.
Well, you know what?
Her first job in politics was working for Mayor McShee.
She was on the place, Matt.
All right, she's got more stuff to say.
Let me see.
Here we go.
That whether we're born with an extra 21st chromosome or without a dollar to our name.
Okay, so she just talks about, she told a whole story about she has a Down syndrome child and how she, you know, and that's a tough thing.
But it's weird how right-wing women, I was just, they seem to, that's their thing, right?
Cis Sarah Palin.
And that seems like if you talk about that, I have a Down child, it's like that excuses the fact that I'm going to try to cut funding for people with Down chill.
Sounds silly.
I'm going to cut funding to help them.
I'm going to not help you get health care.
I'm not going to help the people.
I'm not going to do anything.
I'm not going to help educate the down.
I'm not going to do any of that stuff.
Well, for her, the whole point is, you know, that she didn't have an abortion.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's it.
I'm not sure he has Down syndrome.
Maybe he just doesn't want to talk to her.
So literally, that's their cover for trying to keep women's access to birth control and reproductive rights and closing down abortion clinics.
That's why they bring that up.
That's what that is.
Yeah, we're going to have a fertile congressperson come in and be able to, or representative rather, and be able to say, you know, I've had some babies.
Yes.
Yeah.
Babies are good.
And it's totally doable.
It's not yet.
Look at me.
I worked at McDonald's.
I went to college.
I have a family.
I'm doing the dream, everybody.
Yeah.
So she goes on.
We are not defined by our limits, but by our potential.
Because our mission, not only as Republicans, but as Americans, is to once again ensure that we are not bound by where we come from, but empowered by what we can become.
That is the gap Republicans are working to close.
And the way they're working to close that gap between the haves and the have-nots is by crushing unions, demonizing teachers, and outsourcing jobs at a record pace.
And cutting taxes for the billionaires.
She's talking about, you know, we're defined by our potential for what we can be, and yet she's offering no ideas for legislation, for policy, for what they're going to do.
She's offering, she's giving us nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
Absolutely.
That's why this is pretty stunning.
That's why I'm playing so much of it.
We're already at 13 minutes in this segment.
I just can't get over how nothing's happening.
That's what we all face between where you are and where you want to be.
The president talks a lot about income inequality, but the real gap we face today is one of opportunity inequality.
The real gap is the one between your ears.
Yeah, and she decided again, the real gap is the one of opportunity.
No, it's not.
And with this administration's policy...
She sounds to me like a Francis Farmer post-Electroshock.
Okay, here we go.
That gap has become far too wide.
We see this gap growing every single day.
We see it in our neighbors who are struggling to find jobs.
A husband who's now working just part-time.
A child who drops out of college because she can't afford tuition.
Or parents who are outliving their life savings.
Last month, more Americans stopped looking for a job than found one.
And our plan to fix that is to cut their unemployment insurance and food stamps at the same time.
Too many people are falling further and further behind because right now, the president's policies are making people's lives harder.
Republicans have plans to close the gap.
Plans.
I'm not going to tell you what any of them are.
I'm not going to ever tell you what.
It is a secret plan.
We'll focus on jobs first without more spending, government bailouts, and red tape.
Every day, we're working to expand our economy.
One manufacturing job, nursing degree, and small business at a time.
We have plans to improve our education and training systems so you have the choice to determine where your kids go to school.
So college is affordable.
Vouchers.
She means vouchers.
Yeah, training systems.
There's nothing there.
There's nothing.
No training systems they mean the United States Army.
Yeah.
Yes, that's what they mean.
I wonder if people listening to her were really inspired by her vagueness.
All right, so let's cut to the end.
I'm going to cut.
I got to cut to the end of this.
I can't think about everything.
I can't.
I can't.
I really can't listen anymore, this honest again.
And yes, it's time to honor our history of legal immigration.
Oh, God.
Okay.
And a workforce that could take on the world.
Yeah.
In fact, but what we decided to do was take our jobs and send them to the world.
Whether you're a girl in Kettle Falls or a boy from Brooklyn.
I like that she says Brooklyn.
Brooklyn?
She's never been to Brooklyn.
Brooklyn?
I also like the assumption that the boys from Brooklyn are all poor.
That she has from like the 1950s.
Yes.
Movie stars live in Brooklyn now.
Right.
Yes.
Brooklyn's really nice.
Why didn't she mention Detroit?
It's not right.
Is there a D at the end of Brooklyn?
There is no.
It pretty much is not.
No, it's now.
There is also no E at the end of potatoes.
She's saying Brooklands.
It's not Brooklyn.
It's Brooklyn.
It's not Brooklands.
It's not Brookland, yeah.
Whenever you eat a Trinity cronaut, you're in Brooklyn.
Okay.
All right.
Here we go.
She's got more to say.
Our children should be able to say that we close the gap.
Our plan is one that dreams big for everyone and turns its back on no one.
I wonder what that dream is.
I wonder what that plan is.
Yeah.
But now I ask him to listen to you.
For the true state of the union lies in your heart.
Can you believe it?
And in your home.
Tomorrow, I'll watch my son Cole get on the school bus.
Oh, boy.
Others will wait in the doctor's office or interview for that first job.
Some of us will celebrate new beginnings.
Others will face great challenges.
And to all of them, we say, fuck you.
You're on your fuckers.
On your own.
Okay, and here's how she wraps it up.
I think she's going to...
And for our larger American family, that with the guidance of God, we may prove ourselves worthy of his blessings of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
For when we embrace these gifts, we are each doing our part to form a more perfect union.
May God guide you and our president, and may God continue to bless the United States of America.
That is so creepy.
It's like a John Birch thesaurus threw up on her.
speech was so bland, which is why I was really surprised by the mic drop at the end.
laughter music music So we just heard Congresswoman Kathy Morris-Rogers give the Republican response, and it was pretty thin.
So I have a connection, and I got her number, and let's see if I can get her.
Wow.
Yeah, let's see if I can get her on the horn.
Let's see if I can get her on.
Kathy McMorris Rogers, mom of magical down control, baby.
Hello, Congressman Rogers.
It's Jimmy Doerr from the Jimmy Door Show.
How are you doing today?
Some sort of radio program?
Yeah, so it's a radio program.
Could I win tickets?
Am I a winner?
No, no, no, no, no.
Congressman, I'm calling to talk to you about your State of the Union response, okay?
I have a Down syndrome, baby.
Yes, I know.
And I want to ask you why you mentioned that in your speech.
He dances to Bruce Springsteen.
Yes, I know.
I know.
But why did you talk about your private life so much?
Jesus.
Because of what?
Because of Jesus.
Why did you mention religion so much in your speech?
Why wouldn't I man from the radio?
Well, it's kind of polarizing for a lot of people you're trying to attract.
Am I right?
No, no, that's not true.
Everyone wants Jesus and his magical reindeer.
Even Jews and Muslims and atheists.
No, you're just being silly.
Those are just fairy tales.
I mean, honestly, who's ever actually seen a Jew outside of a museum?
Okay.
Before you say any more on that, let me ask you your speech last night.
It was a little light on substance.
No, that's what people are saying.
A little light on substance.
Have it down, baby.
I know.
I meant there's no...
Like, what about freedom?
Well, freedom isn't a policy.
It's a concept.
It's a goal.
That's not a problem.
Again, that's not a policy, Congresswoman.
You're being exceptional, not government.
Yeah, I know.
You're just saying ideas without telling us anything about how you intend to get there.
Compassion, empowerment, heart, America.
Fun, mega fun, super-sized, of course.
Shelter-sized.
Okay, listen, Congresswoman, can you cite one actual piece of legislation that you guys are putting...
You're going to do the secrets?
What are you talking about?
Like on Oprah?
Yes.
We will start by turning all of North Dakota into our dream board, where we will put up our pictures of opportunity, potential, and America.
Okay, okay, okay.
Okay, okay.
I think I got it.
I think I got it.
So do I win the tickets?
No, no, no, no, no.
Listen, no.
In your speech, listen, in your speech, you mentioned you mentioned a woman in your district whose health care premiums went up $700.
Now.
Yes.
Yeah.
That is something I said.
Yeah, no, a lot of people know that these stories about the people getting screwed by the ACA, they're just not true.
A lot of these stories.
They are as true as you would like them to be, like Jesus or Global Warming.
Okay.
But you know, a blogger from the Daily Coase went on the Washington Exchange and pretty much proved that a $700 premium increase is pretty much impossible.
Do you know that?
Look, it is entirely possible.
I dreamed that.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
Okay, well, one last thing.
Toward the end of your speech, you mentioned a dead soldier from your district out of nowhere kind of.
Sergeant, what's his face?
Yeah, yeah.
And it just seemed like you wedged it in there.
So why did you do that?
Because I'm awesome at politics.
What?
Because why?
A fallen hero in a speech is worth 25 points.
Fallen hero, down baby, and Obamacare victim.
That's 79 points.
And that's enough to get me immunity going into the next round.
Okay, listen, Congresswoman, I think we're done here.
Is there anything else that you want to say to the people?
No one plays more Christian Rock than this station.
On the water and Jesus in the sky.
Okay, that was Congresswoman Morris.
Thank you very much for taking time.
Hey, coming up at the end of the show, we're going to have a response to that response by another Republican lady.
That's correct.
That's coming up in the second half.
Plus, Luke Russert calls in in the second half.
There's a lot more coming up in the second half right now.
I was talking to, there's a young man, Gilbert, who helps me with the technology aspect of the Jimmy Dore show, young man Gilbert.
And so we were talking about our Amazon.com box.
And I was saying how great it is that people use it and it helps.
And he had just bought something.
I go, use the Amazon box.
He says, no, I don't know how that works.
So here's a young tech guy.
And I said to him, What do you mean you don't know how you go over there?
So it made me think maybe I need to explain it to people because he thought it would change the way he shopped at Amazon, but it doesn't.
So if you're going to buy something from Amazon and you want to help support the show, if you go to jimmydoorcomedy.com and you click on our Amazon box, it takes you to Amazon.com.
And then when you buy something, they send us money.
Now, when you get to Amazon, it doesn't change the way you shop and it doesn't cost you anything.
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Now, let's get back to the second half, shall we?
So I don't know if you've heard about the story about billionaire Tom Perkins, the guy who's credited with making Hewlett Packard the successful company that it is.
He's also, so he's super rich, right?
And he's got a, he just built, he just built a $150 million yacht.
Okay.
Yeah.
He invented it.
He invented a laser.
And so he started some laser company after he made Hewlett-Packard, the Hewlett-Packard.
And then he went.
So he's a big guy and he's full of money.
He's a billionaire, right?
And he has a laser?
That doesn't sound like a super villain at all.
I want you to die, Mr. Bulldog.
So he's upset.
This guy's upset because I don't know if you know, the victims in society today are the billionaires.
Yes, he's upset that the 99% are angry at the 1%.
This is true.
He wrote a letter to the Wall Street Journal in which he likened criticism of the super rich to the persecution of the Jews in the Holocaust.
And he likened the Occupy Wall Street movie movement to Nazism.
true that he did this.
This is really so It's fictional?
And in his letter, he described the hatred of Google workers in San Francisco and an incident in which his former wife, author Daniel Steele, was branded a snob in the San Francisco Chronicle in a row she had, or a fight she had, over the height of her hedges.
So there's another joke there, but come on.
Yes, yes.
Yes.
Yeah.
And this is what he said.
This is a very drift.
This is a very dangerous drift in our American thinking, he said.
Crystallnock was unthinkable in 1930, and its descendant, progressive radicalism, is its descendant, progressive radicalism, unthinkable now, he continued.
Yes.
Crystallnach, Crystal Knock, by the way, translates as the knight of broken glass and refers to coordinated attacks on Jews in Germany on November 9th, 1938, as authorities looked on and did nothing.
So he's comparing Occupy Wall Street's protests against the 1%.
So listen, yeah, you know, I'm sure it sucks to be the richest guy in the country.
I know that's got to be tough, but there's, Frank, there's got to be some advantage to being a billionaire that Tom Perkins hasn't experienced yet, right?
There's got to be some advantage.
Well, I think it's interesting that he is married to Daniel Steele and he brings up Nazism because she kind of would encourage to me the idea of book burning.
Nice.
But it's funny.
So a guy with billions of dollars who probably pays a lower tax rate than his employees wonders why anybody would hate him.
Does it make sense?
It's a mystery.
So he goes on, he went on Bloomberg TV, I think, to clear it up.
Here's him clearing it up.
Ready?
Here he is clearing it up, ladies and gentlemen.
I think that a very important part of America, namely the creative 1% are threatened.
Yes, the creative 1% are 0.
There's only 1% that's creative, Jimmy.
It's only 1%.
That's it.
They're the only ones.
Everyone else is an idiot.
And he's right.
The 1% are an endangered minority, Steve.
All they have is each other, the government, the banks, the military, and the cops.
I mean, who are cornered, Jimmy?
They're cornered.
They got nowhere to turn.
I just think that Sam Walton's kids are so creative the way they inherited.
That was so inventive of that.
Yeah, same thing with the Koch brothers, the way they invented their way into being born their father's kid and inheriting a chemical company.
That was amazing the way they did that.
They're very creative.
Here he goes.
He's got more to say.
I'm friends with Al Gore, who tells me that.
By the way, that's the, hey, I've got a black friend.
Just letting you know, Tom, after today, you're not friends with Al Gore.
Yeah, yeah.
Audio is the number one problem in America.
I'm friends with Jerry Brown.
I voted for him.
I will vote for him.
Even though he raised my taxes 30%.
Yo, now you're not going to be able to afford Mars.
He's got to put it on his credit card.
Is there anything that breaks your heart more than hearing a billionaire complain about his taxes?
Yeah, now I only have another billion dollars.
Oh, and by the way, he's totally exaggerating.
So here we go.
He tells me the number one problem in America is inequality.
And that's probably and possibly true.
And I think President Obama is going to make that point tomorrow night.
But the 1% are not causing the inequality.
They are the job creators.
I regret the use of that word.
So he says, so there he is.
They're the job creators.
And it's fascinating how a guy could be that wealthy and successful and still have no idea how the real economy works.
Because my theory is that Tom Perkins wouldn't be worried about any of this if he didn't secretly know he was a douchebag.
I think he has a creeping suspicion about that.
It was a terrible misjudgment.
Oh, so here he is talking about using that word crystal comparing the plight of the 1% to the Jews on Kristallnacht.
He's going to apologize for that right here.
Kind of.
Job creators.
I regret the use of that word.
It was a terrible misjudgment.
I don't regret the message at all.
Anytime the majority starts to demonize a minority, no matter what it is, it's wrong and dangerous.
Okay, that's not true.
That's not true.
When the people without money and power demonize the people with all the money and power, that's okay.
The reason why it was bad in Germany to demonize the minority in that case is because they didn't have any power and they were very easy to kill, literally.
So that's why that would be the difference here.
As opposed to say, when the majority of Americans demonize their British governors.
Was that a bad moment?
That's what he says.
That's what he says.
The big problem.
See, the thing is, what is it about...
He's afraid.
He's very worried that 1%ers like himself, it's going to be like the Nazis.
They're going to be rounded up and herded into Gulfstream jets.
Well, it's funny how he sees fascism as the response to unequal prosperity, but not in the economic system that creates the unequal prosperity.
I guess in his world, only poor people can be fascists, right?
That's according to Tom Perkins.
And he really believes that line that they're job creators.
Now, I know the lie to that line, that the rich are job creators, because I watched the band TED Talk, and he talks about how jobs get created.
And by the way, if that was the case, if giving more money to the 1% caused jobs, created jobs, we would be drowning in jobs right now because all the gains since 1980 have gone to the upper 5%.
In fact, the upper 5% have accumulated more wealth since 1980 than the entire human population had created before 1980.
That's a true statistic.
And they all got jobs, Jimmy.
Yeah.
All those guys got jobs.
Yes.
They've created more wealth.
Mostly they're just hoarding the wealth.
And that's the problem.
They're not investing it.
They're not creating jobs.
They're not.
If they really were job creators, that would be one thing, but they aren't.
You're right.
That's the thing.
They're not.
There's no jobs.
They have all the money.
The income disparity is greater.
It's like the Gilded Age, and we don't have jobs.
So that theory doesn't work, okay?
But I can't get over how he feels persecuted.
It's like, yeah, I want to have all the money in the world, $150 million yacht, and I want everybody to be nice to me.
Is that too much to ask for?
I want everyone to be nice to me.
You can pay people to be nice to you.
Yes.
Yes.
You can like buy friends, obviously.
Although, to be fair, I remember in the late 1930s, the biggest complaint among Jews was that they had to move more money overseas.
You know, Robert, if he would have watched that band TED Talk like I watched it, he would know that jobs are created by the middle class.
Jobs are a consequence of a circle of life feedback loop between customers and businesses.
And only consumers can set in motion the virtuous cycle of increasing demand and hiring.
In this sense, an ordinary consumer is more of a job creator than a business owner.
But if you let that happen, then you'll destroy supply-side economics and destroy their well-supply-side economics destroyed itself because it doesn't work.
We're living in the result of supply-side economics, and it's just that most of the people haven't woken up to it yet.
The smart people have, and they knew it all along.
But still, Bill Clinton will defend it.
Okay, you got a joke to get us out, Frank?
I just hope that he and his friends will one day be helped by the Shoah Foundation.
They're actually thinking of changing the name of Walmart to the Holocaust Museum.
LAUGHTER LAUGHTER The End Okay, so now MSNBC, and now we know we have they've had a long list of apologies recently, right?
So it's we had we had Martin Bashir.
Martin Bashir had to quit.
He had to apologize because he made an off-color remark about someone defecating with Sarah Palin.
And you don't remember that?
You know why Martin Bashir had to, you don't know that story?
Tell me later.
Okay.
Wow, you don't know that story?
So he's gone.
And then, oh, Alec Baldwin had to apologize for saying a gay slur.
What else happened?
Perry?
Melissa Harris.
Oh, Melissa Harris-Perry apologized for the most benign joke about thepologizing to the KKK for an off-color joke.
It's just the weirdest thing in the world.
So they get, again, here's another, the latest and this should be a weekly segment, the MSNBC apology segment.
So on Wednesday night, MSNBC from their Twitter account tweeted, maybe the right wing will hate it, but everyone else will go awe.
The adorable new Cheerios ad with a biracial family.
So it's a little slam at the right wing for being racist, which they are.
I don't mean to shock you, but they're chock full of racists.
Just ask any of them.
And especially Colin Powell.
Racist is their favorite coffee.
Yes.
Ask Colin Powell.
Right?
Ask his ask his chief of staff.
He'll tell you.
Wilkerson.
He'll tell you.
But ask John McCain.
So this is what MSNBC did.
They then apologized.
They go, the tweet last night was outrageous and unacceptable.
We immediately immediately acknowledged that it was offensive and wrong, apologized and deleted it, and we have dismissed the person responsible for that tweet.
Oh, God.
They're going to lose all their writers.
And then Reince Priebus said, Reince Priebus said he accepts Phil Griffin's admission that their comment was demeaning and disgusting.
And he said this is not going to distract him from his important work of suppressing the black vote.
I just want to point out that Rice Priebus tweeted a tweet.
Someone posted it today of him congratulating Rush Limbaugh on 25 years on the radio.
So that's how offensive, that's how offended he is by racist.
I would like to thank, congratulate MSNBC on fighting the notion that liberals are weak.
I'm offended by Reince Priebus's name.
I'm offended by MSNBC's apologies.
I wonder if they'll apologize for it.
Let me just say this for the record.
Fox News would have doubled down so hard.
Yes.
They would have shown so much unreasonable strength.
So what MSNBC should have done was roll that they should have a tape ready.
So when they tweet like this, they just roll tape.
Oh, here's all the, here's all the guys asking for his birth certificate.
Here's all the guys calling him a Kenyan.
By the way, the guys who were your frontrunners for president, these are not fringe candidates in your party.
This is the mainstream of your party.
So this is a, how about the, let's show the last two out of the last three Republican chairmen of the national committee apologizing for the southern strategy.
Why don't we show that?
So that's what they should do.
They should go, no, no, no, you guys have admitted your racism.
They've admitted, they're not denying.
And they're actively suppressing the black vote right now.
Oh, and by the way, everybody who is upset about that commercial, I guarantee all of them vote Republican.
What I'm saying is that MSNBC is apologizing for stuff that they should not be apologizing.
Why can't they just do that normal apology that people do?
I'm sorry you feel that way.
No, they should move on.
In this case, they shouldn't do anything.
They should just go, no, I thought you guys admitted it.
Didn't the last two out of three chairmen of the Republican National Committee admit to the Southern strategy?
Is that not a thing?
Of course it is.
Can we just agree as a group of progressive Rice Priebus saying, you know, Donald Trump should not be welcome into the Republican Party?
He's not welcome to run for president.
Newt Gingrich, who called Obama.
The food stamp president who believes in an anti-colonial African and thinks that poor kids should work as janitors if they want to go to school.
So this and nobody apologized for that.
MSNBC, oh my God, they say something that's accurate and they apologize for it again.
And what that does is that people go, oh, I guess the Republicans aren't racist because they apologize to him.
So they must not be suppressing the black vote.
They must not be race baiters and they must not be implementing the Southern strategy anymore.
They must not be doing that stuff anymore.
But they are.
This reminds me of like when the Iraq war was gearing up and Democrats, you know, were so afraid of offending anybody, of saying they were against the war.
It's that of being un-American or unpatriotic.
It's that same kind of timidity and fear that has really hurt Democrats and liberals and progressives for a long time.
Yes, it's exactly that thing.
You know, it's just like when Harry Reid, you know, if he wants to have reasonable gun legislation, he has to first tell you how much he loves guns.
He's got to tell you, I love it.
My dad blew his head off.
I love guns.
Are you kidding me?
So, okay, that's MSNBC once again undermining liberalism and progressivism in the worst way possible by validating racists' racism.
But I hear they may be switching to an all-apology all I mean, they're literally in the process of suppressing the vote all across the country.
And that's a known thing.
And that's a known thing.
Alamo has copped to it.
A known thing.
And there they are apologizing for it.
It's like it's a taboo to say you are racist, even though you are a racist.
You can't say you are.
Yeah.
It's like calling people a liar.
It's the same thing.
Yeah, it is the same thing.
But it's also an innocuous joke that's based on a truism.
Yes.
It's an exaggeration based on a truism, which is what most jokes are.
Yes.
They wouldn't have thought of it if it hadn't been worthy as a joke.
I think every liberal should band together and retweet that Cheerio tweet.
Yes.
I think that's what we all should do for 24 hours just for 24 hours.
Just keep tweeting.
We should do that.
What I find baffling about this is that commercial came out last fall.
That's the weirdest thing to me about this.
It's like, why are we doing this?
A lot of people, now Luke Russard tweeted out, you know, when Barack Obama gave that part in his speech where he said it is time to close Guantanamo this year.
Luke Russard then tweeted the Gitmo shout out was red meat for the ultra-libs.
That's what he said.
Did he come out and apologize?
He did not apologize afterwards.
Oh, man.
Did he keep his job?
So I think it's weird that only ultra-liberals are against action or foreign actions that are against international law.
So if you're for following international law, you must be some kind of an ultra-lib or something.
If you're not for indefinite detention of foreigners, then you're somehow, there's something wrong with you.
That's just red meat.
That's just.
You're out of the mainstream, if you believe that.
Yes, yes.
So I got Luke on the phone.
And let me see if he's.
Yeah, totally.
No.
Luke, on the phone, we have Luke.
No, Luke.
Hey, what's up, man?
Is this Jimmy Dore?
Yes.
Very excellent.
I hear that you're getting an app for a show.
Luke, I want to say I really enjoyed the vines that you posted.
You tweeted out about when you...
That's like the new way that news will be transferred to the black populace.
Yes, I know you took a vine of the behind the scenes at the State of the Union, all the cameras and the people.
It was frantic.
It was like a lot of dudes.
Yeah.
And ladies.
Ladies.
It was really behind the scenes.
It really made your life look interesting and exciting.
And I appreciate you when you have a vine that does that.
And then you showed that you have some awesome perspective.
You took a vine of the empty chamber of Congress after it was out.
Wasn't that weird?
There was like literally like no on that.
Literally, there was no one in there.
That's why I took it.
I was like, how often do people get to see a bunch of seats that don't have people sitting in them?
Let's do this, let the people know what's going on.
And I did it, and I put the vine out.
People were like, oh, awesome sauce.
And I was like, that's cool, man.
I mean, that's what, that's what we're doing.
So we're doing it in the CBS.
Yeah, you're at NBC.
I want to ask you about that.
I want to ask you about the tweet where you said we talked about Guantanamo Bay and you said that that was just red meat for the ultra liberals.
Yeah, you know, I mean, Obama's got to go far hard left for, you know, the red meat, which is something I've heard a lot of people say, meaning like a thing that people like.
And so I've learned to say it, too.
So it's like, yeah, it's red meat for people who like a thing.
So look, but you said, but you are.
Let me ask you.
So you're thinking that only ultra liberals want to close Guantanamo.
Are you saying that you want to keep it open?
Well, I just think there's like two.
I as a journalist, I have to be an arbiter of both sides.
I have to be an arbiter of both sides of the argument.
There's two sides to Guantanamo.
What do you mean?
Well, you know, one side's like the ocean.
The other one is like the land, like alcove that it's in.
No, I don't.
That doesn't make any.
Yeah, dude.
You said there's two.
the so the side look what i'm asking is are you in favor of keeping open the facilities at guantanamo bay cuba i personally i mean it's complicated but there's you know you have to give credence to two sides yeah but but the one side guantanamo bay has become emblematic of the gross human rights abuses perpetrated at the u.s government in the name of fighting terrorism i mean are you for
Gross human rights abuses?
A lot of people don't think those are gross human abuses.
So I don't think it's fair for me as a disinterested journalist to choose one side or the other.
It's a very controversial issue.
I'm there to provide Snapchats and Vines about the issue so people can decide for themselves.
So Luke, what was it like now, the after parties?
Oh yeah, dude.
The after parties for the State of the Union address were sick, bro.
We did some massive raging.
I went over to Brian Williams'daughter's house and it was awesome.
And Ted Koppel's niece was there and she was doing some jello shots and that was pretty sick.
And...
My question is...
Some of the Redstones'great-great-granddaughter was there and she was like, let's get back on.
I've got to report both sides of this insanely awesome party situation.
and everybody laughed because they knew I was just whatever.
Like, sort of a joke guy.
And...
So yeah, we just sort of...
Yeah, just sort of like the...
Kind of like DC Media Masterclass Junior League was there and we just fucking raged, man.
It was pretty cool.
So that was great.
You know, I really felt connected and part of the thing that was greater than me.
Luke, don't you think it's kind of silly that...
I don't think about anything, Matt.
I'm sorry, go ahead.
That...
That...
I'm touching my ear like I'm pretending I'm listening to something.
So you're saying that only ultra-liberals are for closing Guantanamo Bay, which means that the mainstream and the moderates are...
The majority of Americans are for continued human rights abuses.
Well, you have to understand, Jimmy, that Guantanamo Bay is a symbol in a lot of ways.
The sort of vestigial fist left over of American power from...
I don't even know.
I, like, created that cogent or intelligent of thought.
From 9-11.
And...
It's very important for people to know that we have this arbitrary power to detain and torture people out of a sense of vengeance.
And I think that's really important for a lot of Americans.
And I'm sorry, but I, for one, dismissible because they have their opinions and opinions uh you know you have to respect them because they exist so at 9-11 you were 16.
yeah dude just learning to drive so you've grown up pretty much your whole adult life without rights Jimmy I have a lot of rights and some rights that would make you pretty angry if you knew about I get a lot I get away with a lot of stuff you probably wouldn't
I killed the girl with a drug driving accident okay Luke Ross that was
okay so we're really loading up on the phone calls now because I had to cut half of that Luke Russert phone call off to fit in the radio show but we put the whole thing on the podcast and guess what there's another call we didn't have time to get to on the radio show but I'm going to put it in here it's we have the Republican response to the Republican response that's right that's right we have another Republican response she wants to call in and here well here it is
we actually got a there was a response to the Republican response another Republican responded to the official Republican response interesting that's another yeah another lady called in another lady Republican I sound like Haley Barber and here's what she had to say good evening my fellow Americans my name is Florence after birth if you were like me you could hardly stomach watching Dick Peter Obama's State of the Union address on
Tuesday night thank the baby Jesus there was the Republican response done by that nice PTA lady she was the only person who made any sense that night we can all agree with the Republican party that America's problems are too important to face with solutions
ideas instead we must put our trust in god because the god that took away your job your house and your home if you just trust in him you're gonna get them back that is just messing with your head.
We must prove ourselves worthy of his blessing.
Blessings don't come from the government.
I received a tweet from a mother in Spokane that told me she thought Obamacare would save her money.
But now her monthly premium is $72,000 a month.
Obama wants to take away our doctors just like Hitler took away the Jews.
We must repeal this failed health care law before it becomes a success.
People have been critical of Republican congresspeople inviting Sean Hannity and the star from Duck Dynasty to the State of the Union, saying it shows that Republicans only want to be the party of white men.
Now, I find that offensive.
At the Republican National Committee meeting, I saw many black people.
They rode around in golf carts and waits.
A gentleman from Spokane, who owns a store that sells firecrackers, told me the true state of the union lays in our heart, not in our head.
That's profound, isn't it?
The Republican Party and I ask you for your support.
Remember our platform.
No shamnesty, God, and Benghazi.
With your help, we can make the White House white again.
I'll see you at the prayer rally.
This has been a Republicans response to the Republican response to the State of the Union.
May God bless you if you don't watch out.
Okay.
There you are.
Okay, that big thanks to Jane Wilson, the hilarious Jane Wilson, for helping us out with that sketch, giving us the response to the response.
That was fantastic.
Of course, all the other voices today performed by the inimitable, the one and only Mike McRae, who can be found at mikemcray.com.
What's coming up on the premium?
We got Vince Vaughn is in the premium.
Vince goddamn Vaughn.
Wait, who is this?
Who have I talked to?
It's Jimmy Dore.
Why the fuck do you keep calling me?
Why can't you just want me to live in peace?
You got a political comedy show?
You know what?
That's great.
I'll see why you'd think like, oh, Vince Vaughn needs to fucking weigh on this.
I don't get it.
And of course, then Vince Vaughn weighs in on a bunch of stuff.
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Today's show was written.
That's right.
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