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Oct. 26, 2013 - Jimmy Dore Show
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Get ready for an outstanding entertainment program.
The Jimmy Dore Show.
So Dick Cheney isn't dead yet, by the way.
Last Sunday, the former vice president was interviewed by Sanjay Gupta on 60 Minutes.
60 Minutes.
They call it 60 Minutes because there's nobody younger than 60 watching.
The segment showed how the 72-year-old Dick Cheney is the beneficiary of the latest in heart transplant technology.
The show's producers mistook this for a human interest story.
The one-time CEO of Halliburton, who openly admits to ordering war crimes, was shown enjoying retirement on his 1700-acre Wyoming ranch, a retirement financed by the American people and a multi-million dollar package from Halliburton.
Dick Cheney has survived five different heart attacks.
The first one was caused when he discovered his daughter knew all the lyrics to the Indigo Girl songs.
In each of these heart attacks, innovations in medical treatments for heart disease came just in time to save his life, thus disproving the concept of karma.
At the age of 71, Cheney received a brand new heart in a transplant operation.
That's right, folks.
War veterans are coming home without arms, legs, and without a future, but Dick Cheney gets a new heart.
Cheney got a heart transplant because medical experts agreed there was no chance of giving him a soul transplant.
Cheney lives without worry of prosecution for being a war criminal, but lives in fear after a bean burrito dinner if a fart will blow up his pacemaker.
Former Vice President Cheney is under the permanent supervision of a doctor who keeps an endless supply of hearts from young dying children on ice.
It's only fair because thanks to Dick Cheney, there's more organ donors in the world, especially from those who agreed to go hunting with him.
This all comes as a huge disappointment to people who want Dick Cheney to hurry up and die so they can piss on his grave.
Actually, I want to piss on him while he's alive.
But enough of my sexual fantasies.
The sad truth is that thanks to his pact with Satan, Dick Cheney will probably outlive us all.
It's the Jimmy Door Show.
The show for...
Up-minded, lowly-lovered lapdies.
The kind of people that are...
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper save.
It's hard to talk to you, T-Dog.
And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Door.
Hi, everybody.
Welcome to this week's episode.
I'm joined on the phone all the way from New York City from cinematictitanic.com, Mystery Science Theater 3000.
It's TV's Frank Frank Conniff.
Hey, Frank, how are you?
Hello there.
Yay.
All right.
Across the glass from me.
Oh, Frank, how was the Castro Theater in San Francisco last week?
It was really great.
The San Francisco audiences are great, and I met a lot of Jimmy Dorsey fans.
Yay!
All right.
Thanks to the Jimmy Dorsey fans for showing up and supporting the Cinematic Titanic.
What a great show that is.
That is a great show.
Thank you.
Across the glass from me, hilarious comedian.
It's Robert Yasimura.
Hey, Robert, how are you?
Ohio.
Good to see you.
Couldn't have been seen.
Okay.
You're smiling today, so something's working better.
Next, no.
This could be the eye of the storm.
Okay.
Next to him, the host of Comedy and Everything Else, our resident Latina, it's Steph Zemarano.
Bonjour.
Hey.
Hey, that's Mexi French.
Across from him, a very funny comedian, a journalist, the newsman.
We got a newsman on the show from the Pasadena Weekly.
It's Carl Kozlowski.
Hey, Carl, how are you?
Just fine.
How are you?
I'm good.
And Carl also the curator of the Radio Titans, which is on hiatus till January.
RadioTitans.com.
You just solve the archives.
A lot of archive shows over there I'm on.
A couple I'm a one I'm embarrassed of, but the rest I'm happy about.
No, we nuked that one, Jimmy.
That's a bird forever.
The cause effect from Jimmy there.
Okay.
All right.
Now let's do some jokes before we get to the jokes.
You know, there's a big trend this year.
Do you know what the big costume is for this year, Frank?
Oh, no, what?
It's a Ted Cruz mask.
Yeah, so you get a Ted Cruz mask, and if you don't get the candy you want, you shut down Halloween.
Yes, yes.
Hey, did you know that 50% of Americans support marijuana legalization?
That's a new poll came out.
50% of Americans support marijuana legalization.
Did you know that, Frank?
You know what?
I heard it was 58%.
Yeah, that's what I said, right?
58%.
I just heard you.
Yeah, it turns out pot is a gateway drug to common sense.
It is.
Did you hear about that?
There's a new, then they came out with the new iPad.
There's a new iPad mini, and it has a retina display.
Did you know that, Frank?
I think I heard something about that, yeah.
It enables you to not log onto the Obamacare website with crystal clarity.
There once was a time, did you know that there was once a time in America when there was no glitchy websites because there was no affordable health care?
But thanks to Obama, he ruined that all.
Hey, you know, after a rough week, the GLPT baggers could sure use a feel-good film.
So thank God 12 Years of Slave is opening.
Ah, made that joke sing.
All right, so what we got coming up on the show today?
Well, Obamacare got reported on CNN on Fox, and we take a look at their reporting how it turned out.
There's a hint, not good.
Plus, we have the, there's more love for Jamie Dimon on Press to Meet and lots of love for Dick Cheney from Chris Hardball.
And there's some good old voter suppression happening down in Texas and phone calls from Chris Christie, Ted Cruz, John Boehner, and the Pope.
That's today on the Jimmy Dore Show.
you you I got a phone call from the Ted Cruz called.
Oh, wow.
Mr. Door.
Hello.
This is United States Senator Ted Cruz.
And I hope you will come to think of me as your Ted Cruz.
The fellow you think about when you wake up in the morning and when You go to bed at night.
The Ted Cruz who comforts you in times of doubt and despair, because I am the Ted Cruz who has always been there for you, whether you wanted me or not.
When you were in NAID, I went to Washington, D.C. with the sodomites, minorities, and women and fought for your right not to see a doctor.
You see, under Obamacare, you would be required every month to see some Jew doctor who would brand you with a tracking number and probably discharge you to check for pollen.
And they make your wife have abortions like every three months.
Then your children will be forced into a lottery in which the winners don't get him.
You think that person is a winner, and then it turns out they're not a winner at all.
It's so ironic.
That is what I have been fighting on your behalf.
Also, I'm trying to bring about the end time.
When I become president, as has been foretold, my first act will be to bomb the temple in Jerusalem, which will be awesome.
Then I will release upon the world the locust I am currently keeping a Mont Garage.
Look, if you want to know all the details, go to the Heritage Action website and you'll find our 12-point plan.
And while you're there, why not pick up some Ted Cruz swag, like a t-shirt or my action figure in the fillerbuster action set or the dildo molded from my actual cock well, James?
This has been a real pleasure, and I will do it again to you.
Till then, the Cruz will be with you always.
All right, that was Ted Cruz.
The Jimmy Dora show is available as a podcast for free on iTunes.
Or for other ways to subscribe, go to jimmydoorcomedy.com.
And while you're there, you can listen to past episodes and you can comment on them too.
Remember, Jimmy spells his last name, D-O-R-E, jimmydorecomedy.com.
Thank you.
I suppose that you've heard already about the segment that Sean Hannity did in Obamacare, where he brought on three couples to share their problems with Obamacare, and they all said that Obamacare was costing them more money.
Oh, no.
And some said that they owned businesses, and now they can't hire full-time workers because of Obamacare.
So this, this didn't pass this, this Salon's reporter, Eric Stern, smelled a rat, and he called these people, the people who Sean Hannity brought on, and he called those people at home and asked them some questions about what they had said on Hannity about Obamacare.
And guess what?
Guess what?
Well, it turned out that everything those people said was complete bull shit.
Yeah.
Totally bogus segment about Obamacare produced by Sean Hannity.
Okay.
So for me, this story is only shocking because of how sloppy Sean Hannity was.
They're always sloppy, but this was especially, right?
This was worse than Shirley Sherrod.
And also, though, you know, the thing is, is what this Salon reporter did by following up on this and investigating whether a story on cable news was bullshit.
That like never happened.
That never happened.
Right.
That's why Hannity thought he'd get away with it.
Right.
I mean, he, you know, there's stuff that's as dishonest as that on TV every night.
And most of the time, they just know that no one's going to care.
No one's going to follow up.
No one's going to investigate it.
That's another thing that's very interesting about the story.
It's just the very fact that this guy did that, because that almost never happened.
That almost never happens.
Someone actually fact-checking a reporter.
Yes.
So that, right, it almost never ever happened.
So let's go to the guy who is the media critic, Howard Kurtz.
So Howard Kurtz decided to, now I apologize.
I could not get audio of this, but I will read to you how Howard Kurtz covered this, right?
So Howard Kurtz on his show on Fox News right now.
He's the media critic who works for Fox News, which, as Robert says, is an existential joke.
Wait, just before you make fun of the fact that Howard Kurtz is the media critic, to give his show some credibility, he does have Judy Miller on it.
Oh, wow.
That's not a joke.
That's the other thing.
I know Judy Miller, by the way, was discredited for planting false stories on the front page of the New York Times.
Who gave her the story?
It was fed to her by Dick Cheney and Scooter Libby, and then she printed it in the front page of the New York Times, and they were all false, and they all backed up the administration's case to go to war in Iraq.
And that's Judy Miller, and she's been totally discredited.
And where do you go when you are discredited?
You go to Fox News, just like Howard Kurtz, just like Judy Miller.
You don't just go to Fox News.
You go to Fox News to become their media critic.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah, you're right.
He's not covering the Broadway for Fox News.
He's their media critic.
You know, when I was a kid, it used to be that people who were guests on news, like pundits, were people who had really achieved, you know, really been around and really shown a body of work behind them.
And now it's sort of like, do you have an opinion in 10 minutes?
Yeah, like when I was a kid, I used to see Turn on Tonight Show and there was Charo.
You mean like that?
A lot of people don't know.
She is a classical, she is a classic guitarist.
People don't know she's accomplished.
Can I say for the record, I would be much more interested in what Charl has to say than Howard Kurtz.
And can I say Gucci Gucci?
Yes.
You can, and you did.
Also, Howard Kurtz for years was at the Washington Post and CNN and did a lot of very shoddy work, but he didn't really qualify to be on Fox News until he disgraced himself with homophobic tweets.
Yes.
And then they said, now we can hire him.
Now, okay, so here's what he said about this story on Sean Hannity, completely bogus story that was debunked by a guy making a few phone calls to the people who are on the show.
So here's how he handled.
He tried to set it up as, again, a false equivalency with someone on the left.
So he talks about Chuck Todd, and he plays a clip of Chuck Todd saying that Senator Ted Cruz was from another planet.
So he plays that clip.
Chuck Todd is saying Senator Ted Cruz is from another planet.
And then he turns to Lauren Ashburn and says, now on the other side, Sean Hannity has drawn some criticism.
On the other side.
Right.
On the other side, I guess, of the Obamacare debate.
On the other side, Sean Hannity has drawn some criticism.
I'm quoting him.
He says, Salon did a piece that said that they had three couples on talking about how they were hurt by Obamacare.
And a Salon reporter called up these couples.
One was a businessman who had laid off people, but his business was so small it wasn't covered by Obamacare.
The other two said their premiums were going up, but they hadn't checked to see what might or might not be available to save under Obamacare.
Here's the important part.
Here's what Howard Kurtz says next.
He goes, now Sean Hannity is an opinion guy.
No question about it.
So he's not in the same category.
But could it be said that various news outlets were pushing their own agenda during the 16-day debacle?
So this is how Howard Kurtz covers that.
He completely lets Sean Hannity off the hook.
He goes, now he's an opinion guy, but let's look at other people.
No, how about we talk about the biggest example of fucking misinformation about the thing you're talking about?
But no, he doesn't.
Ah, Sean Hannity's an opinion guy.
No question about it.
So he's not in the same category.
So what Howard Kurtz is saying is that after 5 o'clock on Fox News, it's non-stop inaccurate misinformation.
And we can never say anything about it because they're quote unquote opinion.
So people who are opinion guys can be completely full of bullshit opinions.
And Howard Kurtz doesn't have a problem with it because they're opinion guys.
Oh, that's some good media criticism is what that is.
So again, this is Howard Kurtz.
Now, I want to talk to you.
This is why I brought you on, Carl.
Carl.
Yes.
Now, this is Fox News.
Now, the reason you're conservative, and now I try to always tell people that you're a conservative, but you're not a Tea Party conservative.
No, I'm not a douchebag level.
You're not a douchebag level.
You're not.
Maybe on abortion, but other than that, you're not a douchebag level.
Yeah, I can talk to you.
Yeah.
Yes.
Okay, so what do you think about this?
What do you think about Fox News, Howard Kurtz?
What do you think about Sean Hannity lying?
Let me play one more clip, and then we'll get your opinion.
So here is Bill O'Reilly.
It's Bill O'Reilly says that we can't afford health care.
This is what Bill O'Reilly has to say.
The truth is that the USA, at this point in time, can't afford to pay for Obamacare unless working Americans give up more of their assets, in some cases, much more.
Okay, so what he's saying is America can't afford to give health care to everybody, although every other country in the world seems to be able to do that.
Somehow the United States is going to go broke if we try to do what Canada did.
Somehow Singapore can give universal health coverage to their people, but we can't figure it out, and we can't do it unless, as what Bill O'Reilly says, we steal money from other people, a lot of money from other people.
That's how they like to frame it, right?
Taxes is theft.
It's not taxes.
It's theft.
That's the way they look at it.
So that's what he's saying.
So he goes on to say this.
That's a form of communism because no country could afford those payments without seizing the assets of everybody else.
It's impossible.
So it's going to be a form of communism because no country could afford this without seizing other people's assets.
So he's saying Obamacare is communism.
He literally just said that.
So no, Carl, I turn to you as a guy who's rational and has a sense of humor and is a good writer.
Thank you.
Now, when you – so Fox News, when you see things like this, what is the reaction inside of you?
Well, I mean, I don't obviously endorse finding people with bogus stories to give testimonies, but I do think that – is there not something to be said?
The difference is – the argument that O'Reilly is making there perhaps is that when you're talking about these other countries that are so much smaller and they don't already have a $17 trillion debt that we're behind the eight ball on, you know, like if we were starting from a healthier place and admittedly hadn't gone to war and wasted trillions in the past decade on Bush's wars, we'd be in a much better place to be doing this, I think.
But I think that when you're starting, when we already have $17 trillion in debt, where do we find the money necessarily to do it?
Or with so many millions and millions of people, larger population than these countries, doing a shift on a much bigger scale is something that's – you've got to really figure out how are you going to do it, right?
So when you hear Bill O'Reilly say something like that, that is off-the-chart bullshit, you do some mental gymnastics to try to make it not seem as crazy as it is.
Well – Because that's what you just did.
Okay.
Because he just said – he just equated Obamacare with communism.
He just equated universal healthcare with communism.
He didn't say what you said.
That's what you said.
What you said was – Well, no.
I mean, I'm saying how I feel as the conservative argument as far as the budget aspect of it is what I'm bringing up.
I'm not saying – No, no.
I know that you are rational.
Okay.
I want to know what a rational person like you, like your reaction to irrational stuff that you see nonstop coming from the news media that is conservative and from your leaders.
So that's why I'm asking you about this.
And then you, again, said something.
What you said was very rational.
But that's not what – you're disconnected from what Bill O'Reilly just said.
Yeah.
So let's – all right.
So we got that.
Now let's move to – And that's why you don't make as much money as Bill O'Reilly.
You're rational.
Yes.
How do you know?
So let me ask you about what Sean Hannity did.
Yeah.
So now you're a little familiar with that.
I pointed out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So what – now how does that – what's the reaction you have about something like that?
Well, I mean, obviously I've never been a real big fan of Sean Hannity anyway.
I mean, the guy is basically – he always has come off to me as somebody who is just kind of – I love the way how he shuts people down instantly.
Like the second – it's like, oh, we're going to have a fair and balanced debate right here between two people.
And it's like he's always shouting them down.
It's amazing to me.
The one guy I do like on that channel, I'll admit, I like Bill O'Reilly usually.
But, I mean, yeah, you're right.
It is kind of the – definitely kind of crazy to be going, oh, that's communism.
I mean, I wouldn't – I don't agree with that one.
I don't – you know, I think that a lot of times, though, that he does tend to disagree with a lot of his compatriots on Fox more than Hannity ever would or whatever.
That's why I can tolerate Bill.
Oh, oh, oh.
I think I like Bill O'Reilly just because he's entertaining.
Yeah.
I think if anything, he's entertaining.
But I was – I wanted to go back to the point I think we were talking about that we have how much – trillions of dollars in debt and how much money are we giving every month to the banks?
Is it $85 billion a month?
Yes, it is.
it's 85 So we don't have enough money.
So that's why that's also ridiculous.
Our public health care.
So most conservatives don't care for that either.
So when we have millions of people without health care and people who can't get health coverage, Bill O'Reilly's answer is, we can't afford it.
Fuck you.
That's his answer.
His answer is, we can't afford it.
That's his answer.
But we can afford everything else.
The thing that really bothers me about that is that Bill O'Reilly would be the first person to tell you 10, 12 years ago that the reality was that we're paying for it anyway.
Yes.
We're all paying for it.
So what I don't, I've never understood about that argument is we all end up paying for it no matter what.
Because we have certain requirements in this country that if somebody shows up in an ER, you have to treat them.
And if someone, if the tax dollars end up eating the cost, that's what it is.
There's your health care for everyone.
I'm just going to.
But no, for a long time, that was the Republican argument was that that is your health care for everyone.
Romney and George W. Bush both have said exactly that.
They have both said in interviews, if a person wants health care, they can get it in America because they can go to an emergency.
Emergency room.
I've heard Dennis Miller say that.
And by the way.
I've heard Dennis Miller say that.
Nobody gets denied.
Well, I've heard a lot of people say that.
They say nobody gets denied healthcare in America because you can go to the emergency room.
First of all, I have health insurance, and going to the emergency room is a nightmare.
I can't imagine if you, I don't have health insurance.
Can I come in and get my diabetes medicine?
Is that where you go to get it?
How do you go to an emergency room and get it?
Can I just say I need a stress test?
Can I say something?
This is a flaw with Obamacare because a lot of the insurance policies that we're talking about for younger people are salvage insurance.
Yes.
It's not.
And the whole point.
You're saying they're catastrophic.
Yeah.
The whole point on the left from my side of things where it was like we need to get more people doing preventative care because it will cost much less to the system as a whole down the line.
And this, Obamacare does not address that at all.
There's lots of flaws with Obamacare.
The big flaw is that it's not single payer.
The big flaw is that there isn't a public option because if we had a public option, we'd get rid of private insurance in about two years.
Everybody would sign up for the public option.
If they had a Medicare buy, Carl, if they had a Medicare buy-in, would you buy into Medicare?
Yeah, I mean, definitely is preferable to what's going on now.
I mean, one of the things I pulled up to bring up is that they found that there's 78,000 different ways to get health care plans in the 36 states allowing it.
I mean, what a, I mean, to me, that's just a cluster, you know, what I agree.
I agree.
That's why.
I mean, having, you know, definitely preferable over this, for sure.
So that's, so this is what I'm saying.
Carl is not conservative.
Sorry, I'm not crazy.
Oh, great.
I'm not crazy enough for you.
Can I just say for the record, one of the things that I feel like a lot of the news has missed as a story is that one of the reasons why the rollout, first of all, the rollout of Obamacare, the website in California, for instance, is great.
It's been fine.
And why is that?
Is that because we're participating it?
Because we're doing it.
And the obstacle in other states are what?
Is because the governors did not opt in on it, and so the federal government has had to make the websites for each of those states and deal with each of their local the websites in California are working because people refer to them as their web series.
So they're enthusiastic about doing those.
But also, the other thing I would mention is that the story that some people are not, I don't know why they're not running with this, is that for some reason the Obamacare people didn't want to use open source code.
And their claim was that it wasn't as secure.
And the argument against that is that, you know, the Pentagon endorses open source code for a lot of their work.
They think it's more secure than anything.
And by using closed code, they created more problems for themselves.
And they actually, Health and Human Services actually had a beta-tested open source website that was working just fine in June.
And when they switched codes is when a lot of this went horribly awry.
Yeah, so it's a big, it's a big IT failure.
But again, it's not the state.
It's only the states who aren't participating in Obamacare.
And the states that are participating, like Kentucky, it's going great.
The Kentucky governor.
Why are they not reporting this aspect of this?
Nobody is.
It's going great.
They had the Kentucky governor on some MSNBC.
Yes, I saw him on Chris Hayes' show.
Chris Hayes brought him on.
And he's the Kentucky governor.
He goes, you don't have, he goes, you can hate Obama.
You don't have to like me.
You don't have to like Obamacare.
This isn't about us.
This is about you.
This is about you being able to get health coverage.
That's what he said.
I mean, it was just perfect.
You know, every time the conversation comes up where they're saying how horrible this program is, each time Obama has come out and talked about it, I think they just need to have a better spin.
They need to be more logical.
They have to say, this is a program that the American public wants.
They deserve this program.
We're going to make sure that it works.
Instead of keep, I know it has problems.
This is having problems.
Yes, it's going to have problems.
I'd rather have this program begin and have all these problems so eventually it will lead to a healthy America.
What they're all talking about is an IT problem.
It's a website thing, and it's horrible.
But I feel like the media is very much tapping into the GOP talking points that this proves that Obamacare is a disaster.
As if this problem is just going to last forever.
I've had problems with my Mac computer.
I still use my Mac computer.
Even though it sucks now and it's people have screwed up, it's, you know, if I had to bet, I'm guessing they're going to figure out, they're going to figure it out and people are going to start to be able to get health care.
So this, so let's get back to well, Steve Robbie.
You know what, I had one other thing I wanted to say about Hannity and Bill O'Reilly.
Well, yeah, that's what we're getting.
Go ahead.
And that is...
But the Fox News, it's not a and also Chris Matthews is the same thing.
It's not a conservative or liberal thing that we're talking about.
It's the fact that they lie.
Yes, this is not lies.
Lies are not conservative or liberal.
They're just lies.
I would disagree.
The conservatives seem to have branded lies pretty good.
They're much better at it, first of all.
They're good at it, but I'm saying is that when they lie, it's not, it's not, they're not expressing a conservative idea.
When they lie, they're just lying.
Whereas if you watch some of the more rational conservatives who just express conservative points of view, you might say, oh, I really disagree with that.
You're so wrong, but it's not nearly as offensive as Bill O'Reilly or Sean Hennedy because those people and Chris Matthews, those people just come on TV every night and lie.
Yes.
And so, and what Bill O'Reilly is doing when you compare Obamacare with communism and tell people they're going to take your money away, that's fear-mongering.
That's not conservatism.
That's fear-mongering.
Phone calls from John Boehner and the Pope and Chris Christie coming up in the second half hour.
We're up against a break.
We'll be right back in one minute.
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Now back to the show.
John Boehner.
Remember, we talked about him last week.
Luke Russert famously said last week, we're famous on this show that him and John Boehner have a personal relationship and that he knows that he knows that John Boehner really wants to do something big as Speaker.
He wants to leave a legacy.
As opposed to all the other guys who couldn't give a crap about what they left behind.
Well, he's got a legacy of failure.
That's going well.
Yes, he sure does.
Well, here's a week we talked to John Boehner, and here's what he had to say.
So, Speaker Boehner, we all were talking about how when Luke Russard was on with Lawrence O'Donnell during the debt ceiling and shutdown negotiation, he mentioned that he knew he had some insight into your thinking because he has a personal relationship with you.
Did you know he said that?
Yeah, yeah.
Luke and I have a great relationship.
When I want some bullshit sit on the news, I tell it to him.
Bamo, it's on the news.
It's a great relationship.
Hey, did you know I want to do something that leaves a legacy?
Yes, I do.
I do know that.
I actually heard Luke say that on Lawrence O'Donnell's show.
What a relationship.
But he made it sound like you guys are all pals, like kindred spirits.
No, no, yeah.
We're really sabbatical.
From the same class.
He was born into privilege and has been surrounded by the elite, the rich, and the famous, and was handed a six-figure job right out of college.
And I was born poor and saved money by mopping up old drugs vomited at my dad's tavern.
We're a natural fit together.
Let's see.
We're pals.
It sounds like you resent him a little.
A little?
You mean, do I resent an idiot who hasn't achieved or even earned anything on his own in his entire life?
He gets invited to better parties than I do, for fuck's sake.
Little fucking crap.
Russert summered and broke off his place on Martha's vineyard.
Now that I think of it, I guess Luke Russert is living proof that I can be jealous of just about anybody.
So you guys don't really have a relationship then.
Sure, we do.
If you consider me feeding a right-wing talkie points to be repeated on national television while quietly hating it with every fiber of my being, a relationship.
Then yes, two peas in a pot.
So you pretend to like him because he's a simpleton and can't see through it, and I need him.
That's why I talk to anybody in this goddamn town.
Look who you have to get along with in this town just to keep power.
Mitch McConnell, Pet Cruz, Rand Powell.
We're all a bunch of sexless idiots.
So you're just snowing the young Russert, and you don't think he's playing a game on you, though?
You don't think that he knows that you know?
Well, based on his journalistic work that I've seen, I rather doubt it.
I don't think he's running a game on anyone.
No, I don't think he's running.
When you've seen his emails, he's trying to figure out the difference between a colon and a semicolon.
That's where he's at.
All right.
Well, listen, I appreciate you clearing that up for us.
So the relationship is not exactly as Luke thinks.
Not exactly.
When we go out to dinner, or when he takes me up to dinner to pick my brain, I still have to order for him off the menu.
He can't pronounce the French words, and by that I mean chickpeas.
He's a child.
But we need him.
Yes, gotta have him.
That key's gonna own the town someday.
We groom everyone.
Yes.
We Republicans.
We need a talking piece.
We need one in the White House.
We need one of the Speaker of the House.
We need one in the Senate.
Yes.
And we need one on NBC Nightly News.
That's what we're grooming right now.
We've got a very...
He'll say exactly whatever the fuck we want him to.
He's like David Gregory and Chuck Todd.
It'll be better than Gregory even.
Yeah, it will be.
All right.
All right, Speaker.
Thanks for that.
David Gregory doesn't let us program the teleprompters.
He doesn't go that far.
Luke Russard will.
Just tell me what to say.
Guy who respected daddy.
All right, Speaker.
Thank you very much.
All right.
Well, I got to get out of here.
Okay.
I got another bottle of scotch to consume because I'm an alcoholic.
We all saw that one coming.
Beacon Baylor.
Ba-ba-babu.
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So the guy who did, so Eric Stern went on reliable sources on CNN.
That show is still around, even though Howard Kurtz wants to fox.
And so now they have a guest host, and the guest host was this guy named David Falkenflick.
His name is David Faulkner.
Yeah, sure.
From NPR, right?
I think he's from NPR.
Yeah.
So here's how that went.
Here's how that went.
Now, to be clear, as is known, as you've disclosed, you know, you're a former age to the Democratic governor of Montana.
You have an interest in this.
Sean Hannity.
I just hate that they have to do that.
Again, this isn't about, just like what you said, Frank, just now.
This isn't about conservatism or liberalism or your view of Obamacare or the way you feel about it, pro or negative.
This is about he caught someone lying.
This isn't, so why do you, so he has to introduce him.
Now, you're a Democratic strategist and you have an interest in this.
Wait, no, this isn't about his point of view.
This is about facts.
Okay, so we'll go on.
I'm going to go on.
Well-known conservative.
I mean, can't he just introduce him as a reporter or a guy who fact-checks the news media BS?
Why does he have to focus?
Why can't we focus on the facts of the story instead of the messenger, which is what he's doing?
Bringing it up makes it look like what Eric Stern did was maybe not factual, but maybe a product of bias.
That's what that does.
That misleads your own viewer.
By doing, by introducing that guy, you're making this seem like it's a partisan thing, that there's two sides to this story.
And there aren't two sides of this story.
Sean Hannity put on people and told a false story.
He lied.
They lied to scare people against something they're against.
That's the story.
It's not that this guy's a Democrat and he used to work for a governor or he does this and that.
He caught them and let's talk about that.
But he doesn't.
So that first, the first strike against this guy.
He's an opinion host.
Why would you expect him to be a guy who's going to go after precision and reflecting some concerns about an act that he okay?
Did you hear that, Frank?
Yeah.
Because Robert's about to throw up.
I get back.
He said that he's now he's an opinion.
Again, now he's an opinion guy.
You know what I have to say?
And, you know, and to evoke NPR, all things considered, this guy's an idiot.
Now, he's an opinion guy.
Okay, he goes, that's all this guy answers back.
I didn't expect him.
But it's not news that he's full of it.
I just thought that at least you can't make something up out of whole cloth.
You have to have at least a modicum of fact, you know, to base even a bias story around.
And this one didn't even have that.
Well, you know, I mean, they might argue that this is true, the experiences of these people.
You reach them, some of them explain the facts.
Did you hear, do you hear what he's doing?
God damn it.
Did you hear what he's doing?
Yeah.
They might.
I heard, but I couldn't see the cirque de Sole level contortions he was going into.
Yes.
Well, maybe it's true for some people.
Right.
We're not talking about some people.
We're talking about the people that were on the show and the stories they told, the stories that got fact-checked.
Eric, or whatever your name is.
Dumbest.
David Falkenflick.
That is the dumbest question I have heard ever.
And it makes it sound like, all right, the world is just 100% subjective.
There's no such thing as a fact.
Just like what Steph said last week about Maria Bartaromo.
What's a fact?
What's a fact?
One of the things that the guy from Salon says is that these people actually believe more or less what they were saying.
That they were really misinformed as well.
And the point that he was making was that not only that it's it was a weird feedback loop moment where people who had been misinformed by Fox News were coming on and reporting their own misinformation on Fox News.
And so what have, for instance, for instance, Sean Hannity says, hey, small business owners can't hire because it costs too much.
That was the most egregious one.
He brings on a small business owner who says, I can't hire because it costs too much.
The guy calls her up and says, why do you say that?
You're a smaller business.
You have less than 50 employees.
It doesn't apply to you.
And the person goes, let me get back to you.
Right.
Yes, I never called him back.
And then the more egregious one was that a family was saying, well, we have a child with a preexisting condition.
So next year, our premiums are going to double to like $18,000 for the whole family.
Wow.
Now, first of all, that was an inaccurate number.
Their premiums for the family would actually go down.
But what also he wasn't pointing out, Hannity wasn't pointing out, was, do you understand that because of Obamacare, because of the pre-existing conditions, provisions within Obamacare, that is going to help your child, not hinder them?
This is actually a good thing for your family.
And he knew that.
Hannity absolutely knew that.
He didn't call them on that at all.
So they're purposely misinforming their viewers.
Well, that's the point.
That's the point I think that doesn't get reported enough.
It doesn't even get reported here in this interview on whatever this show is on CNN, reliable sources.
He doesn't make that point, which I think is the most important point, is what Robert just said, is that they're not lying to me.
Sean Hannity wasn't lying to Chris Matthews or Rachel Maddow.
He wasn't lying to a bunch of liberals at Berkeley.
He was lying to his own audience, to the people who turned to him for information on important matters that affect their lives, like health care.
They turn tune into Fox News and they're lied to and they're fear-mongered to and they're just given information that is false propaganda.
They're doing it to the people who trust them the most, not their enemies.
Sean's not lying to his enemies.
He's lying to the people who turn to him for information.
And now he's using their own ignorance to report their ignorance to them.
To them, yes.
Yes.
The thing that's really galling about this is that one of the things that Hannity does is he does it with plausible deniability.
So what he does is he brings on guests who will say things that he knows for fact are untrue, but he's not saying them.
Yes.
And so it becomes, it really becomes the Iron Contra phenomenon where Hannity is either culpable, where he damn well knew what was going on, so he was in on it, or he's a grossly incompetent, even from an editorial standpoint, he's a grossly incompetent journalist.
Yes.
For letting that happen.
He's not incompetent in that way, I think.
I think he's willfully...
No, that's my point.
People are letting him off the hook, and there's no ways in which they should.
And he knows now for the rest of his career That Howard Kurtz will give him a pass, that this guy from NPR will give him a pass, that CNN, so now Sean Hannity has carte blanche to lie.
And he always has had it, but now he's super got it because he got super called out, and then they bring on the guy to talk about calling out Sean Hannity, and all this guy does is question this guy's motives.
It's like, it's not the guy, it's not the fact-checkers' motives we need to check.
It's this Sean Hannity's motives need to be called into question.
And this guy, he feels a need, this reliable sources host, feels a need to pretend that there's another side to this story that needs to not only be presented, but argued on national television.
There's another side to this story.
The idea that you're by exposing Sean Hannity's blatant falsehoods, you're being unfair to him.
Yes.
And then, Frank, instead of that being the jumping off point, like, hey, this guy fact-checked him.
It was a false story.
Let's talk about that.
They spend the whole interview trying to debating whether or not what Sean Hannity did was wrong.
Are you fing kidding me?
That's what they spend the whole time.
And all you know, the ultimate result of all this is that there's going to be another Iraq war.
There's going to be another 9-11.
There's going to be all kinds of stuff happening because the press is not being vigilant about anything.
They're protecting their own bullshit.
Yes.
Yes.
When they did that before, horrible, disastrous things happen because they just don't care about the big stuff and the important.
Let me play the rest of this clip.
Let me play a little bit more of this clip.
One of them, it struck me, you know, was concerned about the effects for small businesses.
You found that he had only four employees.
Tell me what the discrepancy was between what he talked about and what you actually found to be the case.
He said that he had to keep his employees on part-time status because if you let him be full-time, he would run into cost problems and Obamacare would negatively affect him.
But that only really applies to businesses with 50 or more employees.
So it really just, he was talking about something that really wasn't relevant.
And yet for others who simply hadn't looked online, at least that's what they said in your exchanges with them to even determine what they could get under Obamacare.
You know, for them, they may actually distrust the government to oversee this private health care insurance exchanges.
Why isn't that simply true to their experience?
Aren't they?
So.
I didn't understand a word of what he just said.
He's trying, again, he's doing mental gymnastics.
Why can't these people just say things?
Yes, they don't.
Why can't they just profess their ignorance and you let them?
Yes, why do we have to call out people who are saying things that aren't true on a news show?
Can't we just let people say things if they think they're true?
This is what this guy is saying, and he's acting like he's doing a job.
He's acting like he's doing a service.
This is what the whole interview is like this.
He keeps defending these people who lied on Fox News.
And he keeps pretending.
He keeps making this guy who found out he's not who found out that they were lie.
He's making this guy defend his peace.
He's not making Sean Hannity defend.
He's making this guy defend his peace where he debunked them.
Right.
I know.
And then you know what also is the result of this is that it's just discouraging people from doing real journalism.
Yes.
Because it's not like if Woodward and Bernstein broke the Watergate story now, they'd be on these reliable sources and going, well, come on.
You follow the money.
I mean, couldn't you have followed the money elsewhere?
I mean, why did all of the money do there?
Couldn't the perception be that the money...
Yeah, there would be a debate of...
Yes, by the law, it's really a crime.
Was it that bad, though?
Was it really that bad?
Yeah, yeah, it was.
Again, and they would have to defend themselves.
So instead of like when Woodward and Bernstein did it, not that I'm comparing what this guy did to Woodward and Bernstein, but my point is, is that the idea that if you break a story and speak truth to power, that is a journalist, you'll be celebrated for that, and it'll make your career.
It's the opposite now.
Like, you'll be questioned by everybody.
Your motives will be questioned, and the facts of what you're reporting won't matter.
So if you want a career as a journalist, the best thing is to go down the David Folk conflict and the Howard Kurtz route is to just be a guy who doesn't care about the truth.
Well, the thing that's interesting is that it's not coming from a place of ignorance.
It's coming from a place of fear and mediocrity, where for some reason, CNN is convinced that their place in the sun is indefensible if they rock the boat.
If they don't play the idea that there's two sides to everything.
That's what this guy is doing.
He's pretending there's two sides to the story, and that's what's wrong with our country right now, because we don't have actual information to base decisions on because the news media keeps pretending that there aren't such a thing as a fact, that everything's up for debate.
There's two sides to everything, including climate change.
So the Pope has, I don't know if you heard what happened.
There's this bishop in Germany.
His name is, I can't say his name, it's Franz Peter Tabarts von Elst.
And he got caught spending $41 million to remodel his residence.
What?
Yes.
$20,000 bathtub, stuff like that.
A million dollars garden.
You have a million-dollar garden.
He put $600,000 on artwork.
No one would know about it if he hadn't done that episode of Cribs.
So this is true.
By the way, this same guy, just to give you an idea of who this guy is, he went to India last year to minister to the poorest of the poor.
That's nice.
And he flew first class.
This is a true story.
That's a true story.
So he got in trouble and the Pope, the Pope is, by the way, in Germany, I don't know if you know this.
So in America, we have separation of church and state.
In Germany, they don't have it.
When you have to pay a tax, if you say you're a Catholic, you have to pay an extra tax, and that money goes to the church.
Wow.
Dad, did you know that's mandatory?
I can't believe something bad would happen in Germany.
So the Pope is upset with this guy, and he suspended him.
And so I called the Pope, and here's our conversation with the Pope.
So here we have on the line Pope Francis.
Pope Francis, good to be with you.
Listen, I wanted to ask you.
Hello.
Jacquel Bof.
Benedictus Jacquel Bof.
Listen.
How are you?
How are you, Jimmy?
I'm good, you're Benedict.
You're Francis.
I wanted to ask you about this bishop in Germany.
This guy, this bishop, Franz Peter Tabarts van Elnst of Germany, who just spent 40 years.
He's got this long name of, you know, you just forget sometimes.
I got a lot of bishops.
To be honest with you, I can barely keep all my cardinals and archbishops straight, you know.
I can't keep all my bishops straight.
I can't even keep my priest straight.
If you know what I'm saying, I think, I think I know what I'm saying.
I wanted to add.
I don't know who all these guys are.
Okay, but you do know this guy.
He lives in Limburg, Germany, and he just spent $41 million.
Ah, yes, yes.
Yes.
This was a bit of a problem.
Yes.
Now, it's reported that $620,000 was spent on artwork for his house, over a million dollars in landscaping, a $20,000 bathtub.
So actually, $42 million in all.
Build to the Vatican and German taxpayers.
Yeah.
Yes.
So now it says that you're mad at him and that you have removed him from power.
That sort of extravagance and over-indulgent lifestyle is something that we do not tolerate in the Roman Catholic Church.
That's really not true.
Right?
I mean, you guys do tell me.
Oh, absolutely.
Didn't I very publicly admonish this prelate for his travel lifestyle?
Don't you also live in the Vatican?
In the back of it.
Okay, so you live in the Vatican still.
Don't you drive in a limousine everywhere you go, right?
Well, I don't.
I don't take it a limousine anymore.
I drive a Ford a Faculty.
What kind of a car do you drive?
Afford the Focus.
I'm sorry, say it again.
What's the name of your car?
Afforda Focus.
Oh, Ford Focus.
Okay, I got it.
Very humbling.
Humber Umbalumbo.
Humble Pope Humble Pope.
I hear you.
I hear you, Mr. Humble.
I want to ask you about what you're doing with the money, though.
Yes, but the money, like, so there was $42 million.
What are you going to do with it?
So, are you going to take the money now and give it to orphanages and you just kind of generally distribute it to the poor?
No, we return the money back in the coffers of the Vatican Church or the Catholic Church at the Vatican.
The central bank.
So you don't take it and give that money to the poor?
Oh, no.
That's no good.
I don't follow how you.
What do you mean it's no good?
Isn't that what you guys are supposed to do?
Wasn't that the problem in the first place that this guy wasn't giving the money to the poor?
Right?
I mean, if that wasn't the problem, what was the problem?
See, it's one of the guys that got too much.
I mean, I store like at a church who got too much money, but it's the one who want a bishop who got afforded the money, only the one resident.
Jesus will not get for that.
Wouldn't Jesus also want you to take all that money and give it to the poor?
No, we spread it around.
Instead of won the great place with, you know, 42 million dollars spent on it.
We spread it around and give every bishop a new golden towel rack.
But for every bishop, the way Jesus said what the warm baby.
So you're so you're not going to take the so you're not going to sell that residence and give you not going to give the money to the poor.
You're not going to sell that residence 42 million and help people.
Who else do we give our money to?
To the poor.
I mean, isn't that what Jesus said?
Hey, no, no, no.
No, the money is to go back into where it came from, the central bank of the Vatican.
Well, that just seems weird that you would put it in the central bank.
Isn't the point?
Aren't you supposed to help the poor?
No, no.
It does not work that way.
It's not that simple.
I don't understand.
Why don't you just take that money and give it to the poor?
That's what you're supposed to do.
Some are for you.
I explained to you.
The money's got to go back into the central bank of the Vatican.
Okay.
You don't have to snap at me like that, Francis.
Sorry, I get a little work up sometimes.
Too bad.
I think it would be a good idea if you gave that money to the poor.
Well, it goes to the poor in a form of salvation for the afterlife, not the things that they get in this life.
What the Church for Jesus Christ wants us to do is not to take all of that money and give it to one bishop.
It's to make it so all the bishops of the world can take that money and each share that and have one golden towel rack in one of their bathrooms in their palace.
I see what you say.
All right.
Well, listen, Pope Francis, I appreciate you taking time out again.
Hey, it's no problem.
Always good to talk to you, Jamie.
Yes.
All right, liberals.
Republicans fucked up the shutdown thing, and we've done our victory lapse.
But seriously, enough.
The other day, Lawrence O'Donnell was massaging his nipples through his entire broadcast.
Randy Rhodes has been wrecked for two weeks.
But it is time to throw some cold water on that shit or think of Barbara Bush naked or whatever it is you do to stop enjoying a thing and get back to being appropriately scared and angry.
The lunatics are playing the long game, presumably till they can reanimate Reagan's corpse and bring about the third age of man or something.
They're currently still in danger from the right.
The environment, voting rights, Roe v.
Wade, separation of church and state, Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security unions, and anyone who doesn't want to be shot by their fellow citizen.
Oh, and not for nothing.
Currently not in danger from the left.
Drones, the NSA, banks, brokerage houses, and pretty much anyone who might want to conveniently shoot their fellow citizen.
Just because the Republicans are in disarray at the moment doesn't change the fact that Democrats have been a riot of schizophrenic cats for years.
It's time to put forward a national agenda for the long term.
It's time to begin carefully waging a ground war in every town hall and statehouse in the country.
Because if we don't, if the left doesn't get on the same page and get there quickly, then we will find ourselves a few years from now feeling nostalgic for the reasonable days of Michelle Bachman and a minimum wage.
*music*
Okay, so that's the show for this week, but there's a lot more show happening.
We've got a Chris Christie call because, you know, Chris Christie decided not to fight the gay marriage ruling, and he's not going to appeal it to the state Supreme Court like he said he was.
And the right wing is all over him about it.
It's all over him about it.
So we talked to him about it.
Drudge Report said that you rolled over on the gay marriage.
Rolled over.
Hey, buddy, if I rolled over, I'd be in Connecticut.
So that's happening in this week's premium content.
So that's happening in this week's premium content.
There's a lot more great stuff.
Oh, we're going to get to Maria Bartaromo and the BS talking bullshit that was let out on last week's Press the Meet with David Gregory because Jamie Dimon got fined $13 billion, two extra billion dollars in the expected an extra billion.
That's a lot of hundreds of millions.
Anyway, that's 100 million, by the way.
I can do math.
So they went on Meet the Press, and it was just unbelievable the misinformation that gets disseminated on a news show.
Okay, so, you know, that's pretty much our theme here, I guess, this week.
Newsmen getting it wrong.
So that's in the premium content.
There's an extra 30 minutes this week in the premium content.
So there's that stuff.
We talk about Chris Christie talks about that.
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How do I do that?
Is it hard?
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It's easy and it doesn't cost much.
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And you know what that is?
That is the price of a cup of coffee that costs $5.
Now, I get an Americano when I go to Trader Joe's.
No, where do I go?
I go to Starbucks, Trader Joe's.
I go to Starbucks and I get the Americano, and that's $2.15.
So two, a little bit more than two Americanos a month.
That's what it would cost.
Okay, anyway, it's a great deal.
And thanks, everybody who's already subscribed.
And you're making the show happen.
We've got big plans for the show.
Yes, we do.
And the show, we've doubled our numbers since last year.
Isn't that exciting?
I just found that out.
We've doubled as far as the podcast listeners go.
Now, on the radio, there's almost no way to tell who's listening on the radio because the ratings on the radio are not reliable.
So, but look at that.
We've doubled our listeners.
So thanks to everybody who's listening and helping spread the word.
Thanks to everybody who's subscribed to the premium content and makes this show possible.
And now we can do more things.
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That's what we like to do.
I like meeting the people who listen to the show.
It's always fun.
Oh, tell you what, by the way, great time you can get to meet us.
Don't forget, I mentioned it earlier in the show, but if you're in Claremont, California, November 1, 2, we're at Flappers in Claremont, California.
There's a link at the website.
And then November 8 and 9, we'll be at the Flappers Comedy Club in Burbank, California.
And then November 30th, we're going to be at the Improv in Hollywood.
Okay, so that's a Saturday night, 10 p.m. show, November 30th.
Links for all those shows are at the website.
And today's show was written.
That's why it was written.
That's white.
That's white.
It was written by Robert Yasamura, Mike McRae, Frank Conniff, Mark Van Landuitt.
That's right.
And that's it.
And Steph Samurado.
Okay, that's it for this week.
Oh, by the way, all the voices performed today by the inimitable Mike McRae, who can be found at mikemcrae.com.
And if you like those voices, we put together our first CD, our best of.
It's some of our favorite calls from when we first started the show.
It's the original Rip Torn.
The first time he called us on that.
Also, Arnold Schwarzenegger called in when he first got caught cheating with his maid.
Hello, Jimmy Dorr.
This is Aris Schwarzenegger.
Okay, so there's a lot more.
That is just a little taste, but there is a lot more of those calls.
And it's our first best of CD.
We're excited about it.
You just go over to the website, jimmydorkomedy.com.
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You click it.
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Okay, so thanks to everybody.
They're only $10.
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Okay.
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