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Jan. 18, 2013 - Jimmy Dore Show
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The Jimmy Dore show starts right now.
This week, as he had promised, President Obama unveiled sweeping proposals for gun control as well as numerous executive orders in response to the shootings in Connecticut.
Appearing with Obama were children who had written letters asking him to do something about gun violence.
Critics accused the president of playing on our emotions by reading the children's heartfelt letters.
Leave it to Obama to take the massacre of school children as an excuse to try to do something to prevent the massacre of schoolchildren.
The National Rifle Association has promised to do everything in its power to block new gun measures in Congress, but it may have already done that by helping to elect this Congress.
The idea that Republicans would be dead set against regulating guns as a matter of principle seems bizarre, especially now.
But remember that over the last 80 years, the Republicans have fought against many things that seemed obviously good.
Labor unions, Social Security, integration, Medicare, voting rights, nuclear disarmament, clean air, clean water, equal pay, the minimum wage, gay marriage, and once again, labor unions.
So it's not that much of a stretch that the GOP would also defend sudden, violent, and senseless death.
Since Obama was first elected, there's been a sharp spike in gun sales, even though the president seemed completely uninterested in banning assault weapons until a month ago.
Even now, Obama is not proposing to take anybody's firearms away, not even the assault rifles they already own.
Yet gun collectors seem convinced that's been his plan all along.
Maybe because it makes it easier to form a posse.
Obama has said, if these measures prevent only one death, it'll be worth it.
Though it might be hard to prove who got saved.
It's like proving you stopped a terrorist attack by making it harder to build bombs.
But this gun thing is quite different than terrorism.
Terrorism is random, murderous attacks by suicidal fanatics deluded by a nihilistic fascist view of society.
Okay, maybe it's not so different.
Nice job.
Great job.
Thanks.
It's the Jimmy Dore Show.
The show for up-minded, low-livered lefties.
The kind of people that are Phil Bence may be on tearing down our nation.
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper save.
It's hard to talk to you, Key Value.
And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore.
Hi, everybody.
Welcome to this week's episode.
I am joined on the phone from New York City.
It's TV's Frank from Mystery Science Theater 3000, Frank Conniff.
Hi, Frank.
How are you, buddy?
Hello, there.
Good to hear from you, Miki.
Good to hear your voice.
All right, cross the glass from me, former writer for The Daily Show, hilarious comedian Steve Rosenfield.
Hey, Steve, how are you?
Good, Jimmy.
How are you today?
I'm doing great.
Great rant.
And next to him is a hilarious comedian from Team Yasamura.
It's Robert Yasamura.
Hey, Robert.
How are you?
Across the table from her.
It's the host of Comedy Everything Else.
It's our resident Latina, Steph Zamorano.
Hi, Steph.
How are you?
Konichi watching me.
Oh, is that Spanish?
Stop stealing my thunder.
Okay, let's get to some jokes before we get to the jokes.
Did you hear President Barack Obama gave his big gun speech where he laid out his plan?
And the NRA wants to restrict Obama's capacity to rapidly reload so much common sense in such a short period of time.
Hey, did you hear that Lance Armstrong, right?
He's going to go on Oprah Winfrey.
Well, as we're recording it, this is going to happen tonight.
So I don't know what she's going to ask him about, but I'm guessing since it's this time of year, Oscar picks?
Hey, and, you know, because not only has Oprah never been on steroids, she's never even been on Stedman.
Not once.
Frank, in honor of Maureen Dowd's birthday, did you do anything?
Yes, I spent the entire day just in my own enclosed world, but I had nothing to do with anything else.
That's a great tribute.
That's a great tribute, Frank.
It's a great tribute.
The Biden Commission is exploring the idea that gun sales would decrease if NRA members had more access to penis enlargement technology.
There you go.
All right.
What's coming up on today's show?
Pat Robertson has some advice for a kid trying to get his parents' love life back together.
We're going to check in on that.
Joe Scarborough talks to Mika Brzezinski in a chauvinistic way, and Mika cowers like a battered wife.
We also have, we're going to talk about the gun battle.
We're going to talk about all the different arguments on both sides.
Bill O'Reilly joins us.
He has some ideas.
And also, the NRA has a new commercial out, Rush Limbaugh and Jamie Dimon.
He gets a haircut, ladies and gentlemen.
Our old friend.
Our old friend, Jamie Dimon.
That's today on the Jimmy Doer.
Oh, plus, we have a phone call from Barack Obama and Mika Brzezinski.
We're going to talk to Mika Brzezinski coming up.
That's today on The Jimmy Dore Show.
The Jimmy Dore Show.
Time for another installment of Oh My God.
Okay, this week's, oh my God, we go right to the man himself, Pat Robertson, for all of those people who don't have an out-of-touch old person in your family who says very awkward, sexist, racist things that are inappropriate and makes everyone uncomfortable.
If you don't have that guy in your family, there's Pat Robertson, okay?
He's for everybody.
And so I'm just going to play it for you.
You know, they take questions, right?
They take email questions, and he has a female co-host to read them the questions.
And let's just enjoy.
17 years old, and I've noticed that there has been a change in my father's behavior.
He spends too much time at the computer playing a war game.
And I've noticed how alone my mom feels.
And I just want my father to spend more time with my mom.
What should I do?
And how can I talk to my father?
I kind of feel ashamed for him.
Okay, let me just, can I just jump ahead and let me just say this.
So what is wrong with a 17-year-old boy that he's paying so much attention to his parents' marital issues?
In my day, parents were weird people who disliked each other.
And 17-year-olds were self-involved idiots, and it was all part of the miracle of life.
Got more to say.
Here comes Pat Robertson's advice.
It may be your mom isn't as sweet as you think she is.
It's like he knows her.
It's like, yes.
No!
Yes.
No!
Yes, it gets better.
Maybe kind of hard-nosed.
And so he said, my father, he's not paying attention to mom, but his mom, how are you going to blame the mother?
He says it at one point.
Watch, just watch, just watch.
Here it comes.
Get ready.
It's funny that even his female co-host now are like, come on.
All right, here we go.
You know, a woman came to a preacher that I know is so funny.
And she was awful.
It's not that funny.
I mean, her hair was all torn up and she was overweight and looked terrible, clothes bad and everything.
And she said, oh, Reverend, what can I do?
My husband has started to drink.
And the preacher looked at her and said, madam, if I was married to you, I'd start to drink.
Oh, my.
We need to cultivate.
Okay, so you see, the Bible teaches us that when a husband and wife aren't getting along, the wife is probably a cow.
Case closed.
Next question.
Hey, even Jesus can't forgive a fat.
She can only forgive so much.
Come on.
Come on.
Murderers, maybe.
Yeah.
You know, Mike.
In the Garden of Eden, God gave Adam a bag to put over Eve's head.
Not an attractive woman.
*laughter*
Original sin and a taboo.
Oh, boy.
You know, my question is, what is Pat Robertson's wife like, right?
I assume she's a nervous wreck that goes to the beauty parlor every day so she has somewhere to cry.
Assuming, you know, to give Pat Robertson the benefit of the doubt, I'm sure that the hookers he's with are really attractive.
I'm sure Pat Robertson's wife is constantly doing Thigh Master level kegels and flying off to Southeast Asia to learn oriental secrets of pleasure.
And by the way, if you're a female member of Pat Robertson's audience and you aren't happy, maybe it's time you put two and two together, okay?
Oh, and also, if you're a female member of Pat Roberts' audience, you're too broken for God to fix.
Well, his view of women is all, like, formed by Fred Sanford.
LAUGHTER laughter laughter laughter And, you know, I'm sure, and you know, after a couple of years of marriage, men continue bringing their A game to the table every day, too.
For some reason, it never occurs to Pat that the husband who is reverting to video games might be a fat sack of boring.
Pat doesn't look like he's ever turned out a steak.
Oh, I bet he looks fantastic with a little candlelight and his boxers.
Hey, I'm 82 years old, and my opinions on sex have hardened almost as much as my prostate.
This is the 700 club.
We're at sexual harassment when you don't laugh at my jokes.
All right, he's got a little bit, he's got a little bit more.
You're kidding me.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, there's more.
Romance, darling, and it needs to be the men have got to be cultivating romance and the women.
You always have to keep that spark of love alive.
It just isn't something to just lie there.
Well, I'm married to him, so he's got to take me slatternly looking.
You've got to fix yourself up, look pretty, look allure.
Your child said, what do I do to my parents?
Get them out of the house, get them up on a nice romantic weekend.
Okay, next question.
Okay.
Comes with 58 years of marriage.
I know what I'm talking about.
All right, what's next?
Yeah, it comes with 58 years of marriage.
And my wife has asked me.
Yeah, remember who signs your checks, honey.
Next question.
And stay pretty, too.
I've been married 58 years, and my wife still makes herself pretty for me.
And I do my part by pretending she's somebody else.
It's part of the romantic mystery.
This has been, oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
The Jimmy Dora show is available as a podcast for free on iTunes.
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And while you're there, you can listen to past episodes and you can comment on them too.
Remember, Jimmy spells his last name, D-O-R-E, JimmyDoorComedy.com.
So I want to get right to the Joe Scarborough thing.
Let's get to it.
If you guys don't mind.
Oh, yeah, please.
So Joe Scarborough, now, I've said it many times on this show.
I like to watch the Morning Joe show.
And I'm going to live on the West Coast, right?
So it comes on out here at 3 in the morning.
And I like to watch it, right?
Because I like to go to bed angry.
And so here.
So Joe Scarborough is very, you know, we all know that he has the temperament of an alcoholic, right?
Sure.
An angry dad.
He's got all that.
He's a bully.
And everyone seems to cower in fear of him around that table.
Right.
They really do.
Yeah, they do.
It's really...
I'm pretty sure a psychiatrist from a community college could do just as well.
Yeah, I mean, I can pretty much, but I would really love to hear someone, well, here's how they're, because it's really, it's like these are grown men, right?
These are, look, they're grown men.
People, Mike Barnacle's older than Joe Scarborough, and he cowers like a child when they all try to please him.
They're all trying to please him.
Like he's, there's like, it is stockhold syndrome.
It really is.
And I know that I know that you're going to focus on the way he treats Mika, but I also, one thing that's really disgusting, I think, is the way the other men on the panel kiss up to Joe by also being dismissive of Mika and also ridiculing her and making, and, you know, and talking over her.
Well, what Joe will do is when Mika's trying to make a point, he'll start talking to the other guys and goofing, like dismissing her.
Yeah.
And so they'll play along with Joe and dismiss her.
It's really, it is cringe-worthy television.
You know, her father was in the Carter administration.
So you'd think he'd come in because he has experience with hostage crisis.
Ha!
Ha!
LAUGHTER I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
All right, so here we go.
So I'm going to play a little bit of what...
Is that the word?
Apoplectic.
Apoplectic.
Can I say?
Apoplectic?
Apple?
I like apoplectic.
I like delicious with ice cream.
Apoplectic.
Apoplectic.
Did I say it right?
So he was apoplectic over the fact that, you know, how everybody was making a big stink that somehow Barack Obama hasn't appointed enough women to his cabinet?
Right.
So Joe was going crazy, and he was saying, you liberals went nuts about Mitt Romney's binder full of women.
And now, because now Barack Obama's doing something of substance.
Well, here, I'll play.
I'll play it.
Do the people perceived who was happening, right?
Come on, Cady.
Cady, it was, you know what, This is what's wrong.
This is what's wrong with political reporting.
You take an offhanded whip, And then you blow it up.
Everybody on the left freaks out for a month.
He's talking about binders full of women quip.
It was a faux pas.
And then here we have something that matters.
Substance, cabinet positions.
One man after another being selected, and you want to give him a free pass while you and Mika and the media savage Mitt Romney for his binders comment.
The binders comment got to a broader attitude towards women.
Broader attitude, okay.
Yeah, I think so.
Don't you think when somebody makes a political guess, when does it resonate?
Generally, because it suggests something that people already have a perception of that person, right?
No, it doesn't come out of nowhere.
I mean, I think it's because it reinforces some sort of.
So if you say the right things, but you only select men for your cabinet, that's okay.
No, he hasn't already selected men for his cabinet.
Okay, so that's a horrible point.
He's only selected men for his cabinet.
He just wanted to nominate Susan Rice to be the Secretary of State, and the Republicans sandbagged him on that one.
She doesn't count you, man.
He already has a female secretary of state, right?
He appointed two females to be on the Supreme Court.
In fact, well, here's what Willie Geist had to say.
Ready?
Here's what Willie had to say.
So, okay, here we go.
I just wanted to add that he's married to a woman and he has two female daughters.
He's really doing his job.
Okay.
He didn't have to marry a woman.
We have gay marriage now.
Yeah.
And, you know, I'm not crazy about his appointments, but I think the last thing you have to worry about is Barack Obama dismissing women.
Valerie Jarrett is his top advisor.
Okay.
You know, if Barack could find a woman who was just as comfortable around Wall Street big wigs as Tim Geister, he'd appoint her.
So here's what Willie Geist had to say.
Well, I think statistically, President Obama has more women in his cabinet than President Bush did.
Yes.
Statistically, Willie Geist is right.
And you see how he's saying this?
He's almost apologizing for having to give Joe a fact.
Right.
That's going to make him uncomfortable.
He's like, he doesn't want Joe to yell at him.
He's like, well, Joe, you know, statistically, Joe, I mean, if you just go by facts, as opposed to spiritually, though, he doesn't.
According to the women, to the Women and Politics Center at Rutgers, 36% of Barack Obama's cabinet are women compared to 19% for George Bush.
Okay?
So watch what Willie says next.
I think, as Caddy said, he would point to his first term when he did have Hillary Clinton, Jen, Politano, Kathleen Sebilius.
Valerie Jarrett is his top advisor.
But I think it does.
So he just listed four women who are in top cabinet positions in his first term.
Tops.
Doesn't go without saying.
He says it goes without saying.
But if this were a Republican president, it would be a national outrage.
It would be made into a larger point about the Republican Party being a party of only white men.
So there is a double standard at work for sure.
And I think it's a little surprising, frankly.
Okay, so there he is making up a pretend double standard.
How dare he's he just said that President Barack Obama statistically has more women in his cabinet than President Bush.
And then his next thing is, but if this was the other way around, it would be a net.
It was the other way around.
What do you mean if it was the other way around?
And it wasn't an outrage.
Nobody even talked about it.
If this was the other way, it's a double standard for sure.
There's no double.
What do you?
If a Republicans started a foldy war with Iraq, there'd be outrage about it.
So that just goes to show you the kind of BS thinking that is allowed to go out as wisdom on MSNBC for three hours every day.
He just contradicted himself within the same goddamn sentence, and nobody pointed that out to him.
You know, if it was opposite, it was.
And if I could point something out about Willie Geist, that this is a true thing from what I've been reading about, very possibly the future host of the Today Show.
Of course.
Oh, of course.
Well, I don't mind if he hosts the Today Show.
Can it get any worse than anybody?
You know what I mean?
It's already horrible.
But I'm saying that he's going to be, as happens all the time in that world, he's going to be rewarded for being a douche.
Yes, yes, he is.
So then Mika starts to point out that, you know, the first piece of legislation that Barack Obama signed?
Lily Ledbetter.
That was the first piece of legislation he signed.
Well, and just to be clearly led better, which meant equal pay for women.
And Libby that day really looked nice.
She adjusted some lance.
Her hair looked good.
She did her nails.
So he starts to do that thing where he taught when Mika's making that point, he starts joking with the other guys and dismissing her, just like a schoolboy, right?
So I won't play that part, but I will play the part where Mika calls him on it, and here we go.
Ignore the word because it will not be good for you, okay?
Because you're being chauvinistic right now.
Oh, am I really?
All right.
And so now he becomes very patronizing and condescending.
And he's like, oh, instead of like, well, maybe I should address this.
Maybe, am I really?
Oh, oh.
The little lady's mad at me again.
Yes.
That's you.
It's funny.
You mean he's going to dismiss her for her comment about him being a chauvinist?
He responds chauvinistically to her accusation of him being a chauvinist.
Seems like a good strategy.
It gets better.
I'm sorry.
This is not funny.
No, it's not funny.
You know, it's not funny if you're a woman that works in the Obama administration and you want to go to the highest rungs of that administration.
It's not funny.
Yeah, because that, again, they just keep pretending that Hillary Clinton wasn't the Secretary of State.
Right, right.
And that he didn't want with every tendency.
He didn't want Susan Rice.
They're just pretending.
He wanted Elizabeth Warren as well.
Here we go.
Honey.
And you can attack me and be personal and make it.
Wait a minute.
Always.
She's attacking Joe.
Always do it.
Did he really use that?
Yes.
Attacks against me.
You've got a president that you worship on this show every day.
He's savage Nick Romney.
He has a picture that if a Republican president had that cabinet, New York Times would be savaged.
And you're calling the wrong guy a chauvinist.
You're calling the wrong guy a chauvinist.
And seriously?
Hold on.
You want to call me a chauvinist?
Now, I don't know if you just heard what happened.
He's snapping his finger.
But Mika wasn't looking at him.
And so what he did is he snapped his fingers at her.
And he wasn't doing it humorously.
That wasn't.
They're not goofing.
It's like as if he was calling her, you know, at that moment, I realized that Ike Turner and Jake Lamona treat their women better than it was like you ever been into in a restaurant with your uncle who was born in the 1800s and he tries to call the waitress, and he does that, and you're like, oh, don't snap your finger.
He just snapped his fingers.
I'm doing that on national TV to his co-host.
To his co-host, he was just to prove he wasn't a chauvinist.
I'm going to play it one more time.
Harry, so we can hear this little bit, but you're calling the wrong guy yourself.
And seriously?
Hold on.
You want to call me a chauvinist?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Let me help you.
Okay.
You really knowing me and seeing me work around here for five years.
You want to call me a chauvinist?
Yeah.
Do you want to say that?
Caddy was chauvinist.
Do you want to say that on television?
That I'm a chauvinist?
I didn't.
You did.
No, I didn't.
No, what she said was you were acting like a chauvinist, that your actions were chauvinistic.
She didn't say you were a chauvinist.
And so now Joe again wants to change the subject.
And let's not make it about how you are acting right now.
Let's make it about everything else.
I said the way you're acting is chauvinistic, especially the way you were handling this conversation.
Well, if that's what you're going to do, because your president that you worship on this show every day is selecting men, and even Ruth Marcus and other people who have said the New York Times going back to 2009 have said that this White House is not a positive place for women.
And you can look at the stories.
If you want to attack me as your only line of defense, go ahead.
You already did.
Listen, am I a chauvinist?
I think they're great.
Am I a chauvinist?
Let's just get right now.
The way that you feel like you're feeling to her.
Do I act like a chauvinist in Congress?
The way I ran my office there, the way I run my office here?
Am I a chauvinist?
But Joe, you can't just laugh off.
Leave your own book.
Joe, you can't just laugh off.
You can't throw attacks around like that.
Okay.
And do you see how she keeps getting calmer and calmer as he keeps screaming?
She keeps getting more, I don't know, docile?
Yes, why wouldn't she go?
When he snapped, she should have walked off the show.
Yes.
Yes, well, but here's what she did do.
Here's what she did do.
Okay, here we go.
But I'll have to say, now that things are less heated, I didn't like the approach that you took, but just for the record, you are not a chauvinist.
Oh, well, you know what?
I apologize for being a little bit.
I really want to keep my job.
She apologized.
She apologized to him.
He snapped his fingers at her when she accused him of acting chauvinistically.
He snapped, and then she apologizes to him.
And she's right.
And she's correct, by the way.
But it's his show.
It's his show.
Frank, has anybody of note written a column or article about the dynamic of the Morning Joe show that you know of?
Oh, I think Alex Fernie on Salon who does the great hacks list.
Okay.
Has mentioned it.
But, you know, everyone in mainstream media, they all want to be guests on Morning Joe.
Yes.
So nobody ever speaks out against him.
You know, they'll speak out against Limbaugh, and they'll speak out against Don Imus.
Although they didn't...
All these people and Maureen Dowd and Frank Rich, they were on the Don Imis show for years.
All the time.
Nobody had a problem.
No, none of them had a problem with Don Instead.
You can go on and you can sell your book and stuff, so nobody speaks out against him.
And it's really disgusting.
And I just can't believe that Phil Griffin at MSNBC can come up with a better host than Joe Scarborough.
It's just like real.
He's repulsive to at least half of your audience.
What you can't find.
But Phil Griffin, though, in a recent interview, he said he described Chris Matthews as the greatest liberal commentator on television.
So that's where his, he literally said that.
So, you know, his perception is a little different than ours.
Let's socialize.
You know, I just hope that Mika writes Pat Robertson for advice.
No, you're not.
You're not a chauvinist.
You're an asshole.
Yes.
Yes.
You want to hear the rest of her?
Here's the rest of her appearance.
That is so painful.
This, I didn't like the way you were treating me.
And I thought I was using it as an adjective.
Oh, okay.
But your entire career backs up what I just said.
Also, though, Elizabeth Warren backs up the point I was trying to make in the first block of the show, which is there are fantastic women.
I'm sorry, what...
The fact that you were far from a chauvinist.
Oh, god damn it.
She didn't blow him, so that's good.
Wow.
Yeah, and even when she's apologizing to him, he's still being a chauvinist.
He's still being a jerk there.
Joining us by phone today is the co-host of Morning Joe on MSNBC.
It's Mika Brzezinski.
Mika, great to have you on the show.
Really?
Yeah, of course.
Jimmy, are you mad at me?
No, I'm not mad at you.
Well, I apologize for what I said.
It was unfair to you.
Mika, I don't know what you're talking about.
Well, I really think that...
Well, what do you mean?
Nobody's interrupting me.
Nobody's talking over me or ridiculing me or acting like I'm not here.
This feels weird.
Mika, I know that's how they treat you on Morning Joe, but that's not a good idea.
I'm not really.
Please, Joe, don't hit me.
Mika, we intend to treat you with respect, okay?
Well, the panel on Morning Joe treats me with great respect.
For instance, Mike Barnacle, he never disrespects me.
Instead, he plagiarizes from someone who is better at disrespecting me than he is.
He only steals from the best, am I right?
Exactly.
And as for Mark Halpern and John Meecham, I have high hopes that one day they'll believe that a woman is every bit as capable of stouting conventional wisdom as they are.
And what about the big guy himself, Joe Scarborough?
Joe treats me really well.
We have so much mutual respect.
Did he say anything to you?
Is he mad at me?
Tell him I apologize.
Mika, don't you admit that it was pretty insulting?
Don't you admit that it was pretty insulting when he snapped at you?
His fingers.
He snapped his fingers at you like you were a waitress or something.
Well, in his defense, the last time I served him breakfast, his steak and eggs were overcooked.
Wait, you make Joe's breakfast for him?
Never on the air.
That would be degrading.
I do all my cooking and cleaning for him only during the commercial breaks.
That way, I get to keep my dignity.
Mika, you're a very smart person, and I don't want to blame you for wanting to keep your job, but I have to say, it feels like you take a lot of abuse on Morning Joe, just because you're a woman.
I was not abused on Morning Joe.
I fell down a flight of stairs.
It just seems like You and Joe have a very codependent relationship.
Not true.
And don't worry, if Joe is codependent, I can change him.
Well, Mika, thanks for joining us today.
I really appreciate it.
Thank you, Jimmy.
Right now, Joe is taking his afternoon nap, so I'm going to sneak into his room and burn his bed.
All right, you go, girl.
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Now let's get back to the second half of the show.
So.
Okay, so we're going to do it.
All right, welcome back to the Jimmy Door Show.
I'm joined from New York on the phone from Mystery Science Theater 3000.
It's TV's Frank, Frank Conniff.
Hi, Frank.
Hey, Jimmy.
We got Cross the Glass from Me, former writer for The Daily Show.
It's Steve Rosenfield.
Next to him, hilarious comedian from Team Yasimura.
It's Robert Yasamura and our resident, Latina, the host of Comedy and Everything Else.
It's Steph Zambrano.
And we're going to talk about, we got a lot coming up.
We got a phone call from Barack Obama coming up on the second half of the show.
And there's a couple of other things happening.
Plus, right now we're going to talk about guns.
All right.
So the gun, so Barack Obama gave his speech.
See, the problem with the gun debate is I was watching, there was a Republican, Tim Hugel's Camp, was on MSNBC.
And they asked him, what would you, Andrea Mitchell asked him, what would you do to what are your proposals?
What were you going to do to help curb gun violence?
And this is the kind of BS answer you get, right?
Let's have the conversation.
Let's talk about how we solve the problem.
Let's talk about mental health issues.
Let's talk about the enforcement of current gun laws.
Let's talk about violence glorified by Hollywood and violence in our video machines and all the games our kids play because we have a violent culture and that contributes to that.
And yes, it's long overdue for a good debate, a good solid debate about what is the solution to the problem.
We've got to identify the problem as well.
So it's a good time to start, but trying to bypass Congress.
Okay, so it's everything except guns.
The problem is mental health.
The problem is video games.
The problem is our culture.
The problem is Barack Obama superseding Congress.
It's nothing to do with guns.
It's never the problem.
It's always something else.
And that is such a canardis.
Hey, let's have the debate.
Yeah, let's have the debate.
What that means is let's not do anything.
Yeah, let's talk.
Let's pretend that we're interested in solving this problem by saying, let's have the debate.
There's no debate.
Everybody knows what you have to do.
You have to do exactly what Barack Obama proposed, which was you get rid of assault weapons.
You have background checks.
You get rid of the loophole for gun shows.
You get rid of the high-volume clips.
Those are the things you have to do.
Oh, and you let the ATF actually do their job.
There's another thing that they did.
Yes, you point ahead of the ATF.
You let the ATF do their job.
But there's another thing also that people aren't aware of.
They started to study gun violence, right, in the 90s.
They started in the early 90s.
They started to study gun violence and what the CDC.
What caused the gun violence?
How do criminals get their hands on guns?
So they're starting, they were going to figure all this stuff out.
And then what happened was all the money dried up for all that kind of stuff.
Congress.
I would actually go further because what Congress actually did was make it a condition of the funding for the CDC and the ATF that they could not study gun violence as a disease.
Could not study gun violence.
And in the terms of the ATF, and this to me is one of the most galling things that they did to the ATF.
One of the conditions of the ATF's funding became that they could not release any statistics that they gathered on gun violence.
Correct.
So it is impossible for someone to gather national statistics from the one agency that has them.
So the point would be, it's like what Barack Obama is trying to do, and someone else made this point, was that he's trying to ban guns, right, without any of the data in, right, to back him up.
So it's the equivalent of trying to ban the Surgeon General trying to ban cigarettes before they did any research on cigarettes.
And that's the problem.
They know the gun lobby knows that they got to keep the research out of their hands because they'll have a real case then.
So that's so now what Barack Obama has done with this new program is he wants the ATF to start doing that stuff, to start investigating, to start doing research on this stuff.
So that's all going to start happening.
So again, let's have the debate.
Let's talk about mental health.
Let's talk about the culture.
Can I make one point here?
You notice that the Republicans, up until this very instance, were the ones who wanted to defund pretty much every community mental health program of all time.
And the moment we threaten their guns, like all of a sudden they're like, well, mental health is the problem.
Yes.
Again, this is not.
And I think who would know it better than a Republican that mental health is a problem.
And Brian.
What they consider mental health is, you know, moody loaders filled with quiet rage.
Don't have assault weapons.
So it's, so he wants, it's our culture of violence.
He says our culture of violence.
Yeah, it's not our culture that fears the NRA or mouthpieces for gun manufacturers.
It's not that problem with our culture.
No, it's our culture.
So here, Bill O'Reilly.
So Bill O'Reilly has, here's what he's, here's his ideas on how to solve the gun problems.
Ready?
Here we go.
First, gun control will not stop, will not stop crazy people from committing murder.
So crazy, gun control will not stop crazy people from committing murder.
So the responsible thing is to make sure crazy people have easy access to firearms.
Exactly.
Yes, that's the logic.
That's only logical.
That's the logic there.
More than 300 million guns in the USA right now.
So thugs are going to get them.
So he says, hey, there's 300 million guns in the USA, so thugs are going to get them anyway.
And that's the same argument I've been making about drugs.
Hey, if you outlaw drugs, only druggies are going to get them anyway.
You're just taking drugs out away from law-abiding Americans' hands.
That's all you're doing.
Right.
They're going to get a hold of that pot and not go on shooting.
So that's, again, and watch the basics.
There's no way you can.
And nobody in his office, when he's putting together this talking point, this thing, this rant he's going to give, nobody goes, nobody points this out to him.
Like, hey, you know, that's flawed logic, Bill.
You know, that that's back.
They don't care.
They're like, hey, that's as good of an argument as we can come up with.
There isn't any good argument against this kind of gun control.
So this is as good as it gets, even though it's got logic holes in it that you could drive a truck through.
Okay.
So here, he's got more to say.
Let's take a look at Chicago, which has banned handguns.
More people were murdered by guns in Chicago in 2012 last year than were killed among coalition forces in Afghanistan.
Obviously, the gun ban in Chicago doesn't work.
Do we all get that?
Yeah, let's take a look at Chicago's gun violence, but let's not look at England, who also banned guns and now have only 35 gun debts a year.
So what I'm doing is starting at a conclusion and cherry-picking my facts to back it up.
Does everybody get that now?
That was supposed to be funnier.
Wait, didn't the Supreme Court overturn Chicago's gun ban in 2011?
I'm pretty sure they did.
I guess they did.
I like the fact that Bill O'Reilly makes a case that war is safer.
Yes, that's Chicago.
We should move to Afghanistan.
Chicago is deadly.
In Chicago, they have the deepish guns.
Which I prefer myself.
So in July 25th of this year, Chicago rewrote their previous gun ban after the previous one was overturned in 2010.
So he's just making that up.
He's just, yeah.
So Bill, but what can we do?
Here's his ideas on what we can do.
So none of that stuff works.
You can't ban guns.
It doesn't work.
Okay, ready?
Here we go.
What would work is a 10-year mandatory federal prison term for anyone convicted of any gun crime in the Windy City or anywhere else in America.
Yeah, because that guy who went into Sandy Hook, it probably wouldn't have if he knew he had to do 10 years.
I know, that is the most illogical thing I've ever heard.
I've ever heard.
It's crazy, this insane guy who shoots his mother and then goes and kills an entire school that, oh, oh, no, there'll be real consequences.
I mean, after I blow my brains out, I'll be put in jail.
Let's listen to Bill O'Reilly's solution again.
What would work is a 10-year mandatory federal prison term for anyone convicted of any gun crime in the Windy City or anywhere else in America?
Hey, you know, I'm pretty sure that the sentence for burder is a little higher than 10 years.
He's giving them a break.
It's only 10 years if you shoot someone.
Yeah, so if you're murdering, you're already going like the Aurora shooter in Colorado.
He's like, well, at least I don't have to do 10 years because they didn't pass that mandatory 10-year law yet.
I only killed 18 MFers.
If you rob a bank, that's one thing.
But if you rob a bank using a gun, you'll be in big trouble.
If you use a carrot, if you kill a bunch of people, that's one thing.
But if you kill a bunch of people with a gun, it's 10 years, buddy.
10 years.
Yeah, so here, so now the NRA has the logic that only the only thing that can stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun, right?
That's what Wayne LaPierre said.
Well, here's a guy from the NRA who takes that logic one step further.
I think Martin Luther King would agree with me if he were live today that if African Americans had been given the right to keep and bear arms from day one of the country's founding, perhaps slavery might not have been a chapter in our history.
Wow.
It's not ethical for you to play clips from the onion on your show.
That's a real person on a real TV show.
He's on CNN.
And, you know, he just makes good horse sense.
And I say that because you have to be dumb as a horse to buy that BS, right?
Yeah, just to say, maybe if the slaves had guns when we were taking them from Africa.
And if the slaves had jetpacks, they could have all flown to the moon and started their own colony.
And I think even Gandhi would agree that this guy deserves to be beaten and choked with his microphone cord.
I have a feeling this guy doesn't really know how Martin Luther King died.
I love how he brings in Martin Luther King.
I think Martin Luther King.
I think Martin Luther King would agree with me if he were alive today.
Yeah, you know, and I think Dr. Jonas Salk would agree that if they had their own polio vaccines, the slaves could have used that to barter for their freedom.
I mean, as long as we're making stupid, let's go, if we're making stuff up, let's go hog wild.
And I think Morgan Freeman's character from the Shaw Shank Redemption would agree with me that if prisoners in prisons would be allowed to have guns, that would really be just as stupid as the Martin Luther King.
So the president.
If Morgan Freeman was allowed to have a gun, he could do even more beautiful voiceover work.
You know, if Martin Luther King had had a gun that day in Memphis, he'd have still gotten shot.
Yeah, I probably still would have.
Yeah.
So the president gives his press conference, announced he's asking Congress to close background check loopholes, bans assault weapons, and high-capacity magazine, makes schools safer, increases access to mental health services.
All sounds pretty reasonable, right?
It's very, by the way, it's very mild.
In the 70s, we were talking about getting rid of handguns.
Right.
You know, we were like actually talking about getting rid of handguns.
Machine guns, semi-automatic, the things that they're talking about getting rid of now were unthinkable.
Yes.
So here you should have done it then, Robert.
Here's how, here's how, here's what the president had to say.
So this sounds all pretty reasonable.
Everybody seemed to be able to agree.
Like 75% of NRA members agree with these proposals.
But so, Lynn, why does he say this?
This will be difficult.
There will be pundits and politicians and special interest lobbyists publicly warning of a tyrannical all-out assault on liberty.
Not because that's true, but because they want to gent up fear or higher ratings or revenue for themselves.
Yeah, my point is the people with the most guns also have the most crazy, okay?
So to do something that is unbelievably reasonable, it's going to be very difficult.
That's the society we're living in.
Right, isn't it?
Yeah, it's amazing.
Why do you think Barack Obama didn't lift a finger to do this for four years, right?
And I doesn't like losing.
I predict, by the way, this has zero chance of passing.
This is not passing.
This is not, the Republican Congress is not.
Are you kidding me?
They're not passing this.
They wouldn't do the thing for Bob Dole, that the handy.
They wouldn't even pass a bill that made rape illegal in the military.
What are the chances?
Yes.
Right.
Is rape legal in the military?
Yes, the treaty.
Essentially, yeah.
They wouldn't pass it.
You know, at least they'll be on record is voting against an assault weapon ban.
And so then the next time there's a killing from assault weapons, you know, they'll be partly, it'll all fall on them politically.
So can I just say that this is the biggest BS thing I've ever seen, just in the sense that their constituents would not go after them.
The people who go after them are, again, like the sort of like well-funded Grover Norquists of the world who would just fund another candidate and target them in their primary.
And you know, the people who you don't hear from in all this is most gun owners look at this as like very reasonable.
Okay, you know, I want to go hunting.
I want to have a gun, but I don't need an assault weapon.
I don't need a high-capacity magazine clip.
And I don't want to see kids getting killed in the school.
So this is pretty reasonable.
But you don't hear those voices at all.
It's just the crazy people heading the NRA who don't even represent gun owners.
They represent gun menu.
Yes, good point, Frank.
They represent gun manufacturers.
And let me make this point also that people keep saying, well, you know, we don't want to take the guns away from hunters.
A lot of people are hunters.
As if hunting is sacrosanct or something.
It's a hobby.
You know what I mean?
It's a hobby.
Hey, if you were able to kill 20 kids with a skateboard, I think we would be able to ban skateboards.
Okay?
If you could walk in and kill 40 people at once with a skateboard, we would ban.
It's, hey, you don't want to step on the hobbies.
It's a hobby.
It's a hobby.
Hunting is a hobby.
That's not entirely true.
We actually need hunting.
Nobody's going to have their guns taken away, though.
That's the whole thing.
And that is the whole thing.
It's all hysteria of like, this is the first step in tyranny in all of our guns.
People who love guns are going to get to still have guns.
It's just the crazy people who need us who want to have assault weapons.
Nobody needs an assault weapon unless you're going on a killing spree.
I'm with you.
I'm with you 100% on that.
Although I'm still behind the idea of people arming themselves against the government.
I know that sounds crazy.
That is crazy.
It is, in point of fact, insane.
Yeah.
You know, let me put it this way.
I would like to live in a culture where the government was afraid of the citizens and not the other way around.
So you're talking about like, is the government is not afraid of citizens, which I agree with.
And I think if you look at not just gun legislation, but everything that's happened in Congress in the last several years, what citizens, the needs of the citizens never even come into it.
That doesn't play a big part.
Most of the will of the people has been ignored time and time again.
It isn't even a part of the equation.
Right.
Well, the will of the people.
When have you ever heard of the federal government invading a bank?
Right.
They're doing greater destruction.
Right.
They're coming in here ruining the economy, lowering housing prices for whole cities and states.
And when is the federal government going to go into one of those banks and knock kick down their doors with a mask on and an M16 in their hand?
Never.
So I'm just saying, because people, by the way, you have to remember, those federal agents that are kicking the door in, they have kids.
They have families.
They have lives.
They don't want to get shot at.
If they know they're going to get shot at, they're going to think twice.
They're human beings just like everybody else.
And I bet they're going to go, you know what?
Do I really want to risk my life to shut down a medical clinic?
So I'm just saying, I'm not telling people.
Robert's point, though, is well taken.
That you're saying that if people defended marijuana clinics with guns, then that would be good for their cause of keeping the feds out.
And what Robert's saying is that, no, it would be no more medical marijuana clinics.
It would be an incredibly counterproductive thing to do.
I mean, that's, I, I, I know.
That's why Jimmy doesn't have his own medical marijuana place.
I don't, I don't, I don't disagree.
That's the only reason.
I don't disagree that that that might be what would happen.
I'm saying I'd like to see, I don't think so.
I think it would spark a debate.
I think it would start a debate.
Hey, keep these federal, why do these federal agents?
I think it would end the debate.
I think the issue in that case would be – Everything in America happens very slowly.
And, you know, Colorado and Washington are now have taken the first step towards legalizing pot.
And hopefully that's eventually going to happen in the whole country.
And that's the way stuff is supposed to happen in America.
Gay marriage.
Not by people defending their turf with guns.
It doesn't work that way.
It works the slow, unfair, but it eventually works that way.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I guess I have a little bit of Black Panther in me, you know?
I do.
I do.
You know, I totally understood why the Black Panthers did what they did.
And don't you?
Well, you know, Jimmy, I was.
But it wasn't, it didn't, but the change that came, the change that the Black Panthers wanted came through other means besides what the Black Panthers did.
Yes.
And it didn't happen in 1967.
It happened very slowly between 1967 and 2013.
Right.
So here is the NRA's latest commercial.
So they came out with a commercial, and here's their commercial.
I'm sure you've all seen it or heard it, but I'm going to play it again.
Are the president's kids more important than yours?
Then why is he skeptical about putting armed security in our schools when his kids are protected by armed guards at their schools?
Mr. Obama demands the wealthy pay their fair share of taxes.
But he's just another elitist hypocrite when it comes to a fair share of security, protection for their kids, and gun-free zones for dollars.
Okay, so here's a pretty simple litmus test.
If you watch this ad and thought, hey, they have a point, then you're likely having a stroke and you should call 911.
Also, can you believe that?
The president has secret service for his kids, but you don't.
Another thing, can you believe the president has a helicopter in Utah?
I mean, where's your helicopter?
And also, someone's telling me this, that this president, Barack Obama, is the most threatened president in the history of America.
Yes.
He's received the most death threats.
The most death threats, his kids, his family.
And so for them to make that analogy, I mean, I've always been pissed off that I have to fly commercial his kids to go on Air Force One.
I mean, what is that about?
Hey, let me tell you, I'll tell you what.
If the murder or kidnapping of your kid ever becomes a likelihood which would compromise our entire national security, then we'll talk about it.
Until then, I've met your kid, and the biggest threat to him seems to be living in a house with paranoid parents who are armed to the teeth.
And that's why, like, some of the saying that one of the reasons Obama reacted so, finally reacted, and the reason the Sandy hook thing is what set him over the edge is that he's someone who's very conscious of the danger that he and his family are in all the time.
Oh, okay.
You know, and that his, and that, you know, I think just the imagery of all these little kids, all these little girls in the school getting killed, really affected him because it's something that he has to worry about all the time.
So, I, yeah, well, that's a good observation.
I never, I didn't think of it.
I never thought of that.
But Andrea Mitchell sat down with the head NRA guy, not Wayne Lapier, but another one, and asked him about that commercial because everybody's up in arms about them using his children in this ad.
That's a big deal to everybody.
So, here's what she asked him the question: Children of presidents have been off-limits for decades.
There's been an understanding that we don't talk particularly about the minor children of presidents.
Nobody was talking about his children.
Nobody was naming his children.
Nobody was doing that.
So, I guess he went to the Willie Geist School of Making an Argument.
Whose children?
What children are you talking about?
Why isn't he talking about children?
I don't understand.
Who's bringing up kids?
I got a call from Barack Obama.
Hey, did you see the press conference where I was talking about how this is going to be hard?
Well, I'm pretty sure that if I would have allowed myself to talk much longer, I would have said.
And you know why this will be hard?
Because you people are fucking stupid.
You are stupid people who have consistently allowed themselves to be manipulated by people exploiting your prejudice and fear and laziness.
And now I got to come in here and explain to you fucking mouthbreathers how easy access to military-grade weapons creates a much greater societal ill and good.
And I got to deal with the Congress of Lunatics, you assholes elected, because the Coke brothers told you to.
This is going to be hard because there's a tiny minority of Americans who think that their guns are the only thing standing between them and governmental tyranny.
And do you and your twofold buddies really think you have anything anybody wants?
And do you really think that your little case of M16s is going to make a shit of difference if Uncle Sam decides to come for your ass?
You do know we have jets, right?
With one fucking drone, I can kill you so bad your mama will forget your name.
So, seriously, get a hobby, man.
Sam, gardening, wire swapping, anything that doesn't evolve the circle jerk of idiocy you and your friends seem to have going on.
06:00 CH: Obama done.
Hey, are you in the Seattle area?
I'm going to be up there January 24, 25, 26 at the Laughs Comedy Club in Kirkland.
So we'll see you up there.
If you're in the Seattle area, we're going to be in Kirkland at Laughs, January 24, 25, and 26.
Okay, the voice of Barack Obama performed on today's show by Mike McRae.
Mike McRae can be found at mikemcrae.com.
Today's show was written by Mike McRae, Steph Samurano, Steve Rosenfield, Frank Conniff, Robert Yasimura, and Mark Van Landuitt.
That's right.
And I want to thank a couple of people who helped donate their time and talent to this show.
How about our big friend, Sean James?
Sean, who is our Mac genius who helps us out.
You got a problem with your Macintosh.
He'll fix it for you.
You get a hold of him by sending him an email at MacHelp at SeanJames.com.
And to Don Quixote for doing our logo for us.
God bless Don Quixote for doing that for us.
We love it.
And to Frank Pulaski, Frank, doing some great video work for us.
He takes some of the bits we do, he puts video to him.
God bless Frank Pulaski at Dreamtime Films.
Okay, that's it for this week.
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