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June 2, 2012 - Jimmy Dore Show
01:15:09
20120602_The_Jimmy_Dore_Show_5-31-12
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Well, Mitt Romney clinched the Republican nomination yesterday, and like all news about Romney, it was vaguely depressing.
Maybe even for Romney.
How hard could it have been to beat Newt Gingrich or Rick Santorum?
Yet Romney made a real horse race out of it, and suddenly Republicans are nostalgic for Dolan McCain.
Though Romney's delegate victory was voted world's most foregone conclusion, it was still a major news story.
That is until Romney chose to spend the day with Donald Trump, who stole his thunder.
Of course, it's not that hard to steal Romney's thunder.
You only have to be standing next to him.
Romney could be overshadowed at a diner by a plate of flapjacks.
So Romney knows it won't be easy to beat Obama, but his victory would be just as historic as Obama's was because it would be the first time in American history voters elected a man nobody likes.
Trump immediately embarrassed Romney by resurrecting the charge that Obama was born in Africa.
Romney responded that he doesn't agree with everything his supporters believe, which is smart because to win, Romney will need the votes of millions of racists and crackpots, not to mention crackpot racists.
I love my heart.
It's the Jimmy Door Show.
The show for people that are.
Phil Vince maybe on Tearing Down Our Nation.
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper say it's hard to talk to you, Kevin.
And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore.
Everybody, welcome to this week's episode.
I am joined in studio by former writer for the Daily Show, hilarious comedian.
It's Steve Rosenfield.
Hey, Steve, how are you, buddy?
Good, Jimmy.
How are you today?
Good.
You're looking good.
Thank you.
I feel good.
It's a little warm.
It's a little warm today.
I got the AC going.
Next to you, it's from CinematicTitanic.com coming to a city near you and Mystery Science Theater 3000.
It's Frank Connoff.
Hey, Frank.
Hey, hey, hey.
Mixing it up and surprising us.
Yeah, that's a little, that's a little fat Elbert, maybe, huh?
No, that's what's happening.
Oh, that's right.
That's right.
Okay.
And next to him, the host of the Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast, chosen one of the top 10 podcasts of 2011 by The Onion.
It's Paul Gilmart.
Hey, Paul.
I'm Jimmy.
Look at you.
You got his little scruffy going.
I'm scruffy today, too, everybody.
I feel scruffy.
Okay, so let's get it right into it.
Let's tell some jokes before we start telling some jokes.
And you know what?
Was Memorial Day?
I hope you guys had a good Memorial Day, did you?
Yes.
You know, I think it's weird that Americans say Happy Memorial Day to each other.
Because, you know, remembering the youth we send to their deaths always brings out my cheery side.
Yeah, happy better is located Memorial Day.
So guess Donald Trump, Donald Trump, he's doing it again, right?
You know what he's doing.
I don't have to tell you.
Saying asinine things to distract from his head.
Yes, that's exactly what he's doing.
I like to call America's favorite reality douche.
I'd call him Mike the Situation Sorantino with money, but the situation actually does have a lot of money now.
So I guess the only thing separating Donald Trump and the situation is abs okay.
Romney says there's nothing improper about his Las Vegas fundraiser with Trump because prostitution is legal in Nevada.
It's legal in Nevada.
And Chris Matthews, by the way, we're going to play a clip of him coming up on the show today.
Chris Matthews was talking about how we would never have had the Iraq war if we had cable news back during the run-up to him.
You've got to be kidding me.
No, that's what the clip says.
And I'm not saying Chris Matthews was a cheerleader for the Iraq war, but he does seem lost without his pom-poms.
And let's never forget the draft-dodging, war-mongering politicians who bravely sent others to die so that they might live.
All right, happy Memorial Day.
Okay, coming up, we're going to talk about the crazy pastor who says we should put lesbians and gays behind the electrified fence and kill them.
And Donald Trump, okay, we're going to talk about him.
He had a run with Wolf Blitzer.
He couldn't handle it.
I saw that, yeah.
He couldn't get past Wolf Blitzer.
Okay, so we're going to talk about that.
And what else is coming up?
Plus, a lot lot more.
Oh, we're going to talk about that Catholic bishop we didn't get to last week who says he can't help the poor because of Obamacare.
Plus the Chris Matthews clip like we talked about.
That's coming up today.
Oh, phone calls from Mitt Romney, Ron Paul, and we got a new call.
Oh, Paula Dean calls in also.
Oh, great.
She tells us about her secret crush.
I bet you can guess who it is coming up today on the Jimmy Door show.
They just did catch.
Time for another installment of Oh My God.
Okay, on today's Oh My God, it's a fun one.
It's going to be a fun one.
Again, it's going to be a southern pastor, and who do you think he's angry at?
The gays?
You're right.
Okay.
So this is Charles Worley.
He caused a lot of ruckus.
Joanne Worley's brother, her husband.
Boring.
Frank, who is?
You know what?
I know who Joanne Roman is.
I'm laughing.
Isn't that funny that I would know your least.
Not only do you have to explain what show she was on, you have to explain what show it was.
That's what they did with that reference.
You might even have to explain what TV was.
Boy, Frank, when you do jokes like that, you really have to sock it to me.
My references are so dated, they're in the Smithsonian.
There's got to be a better joke for Dated, but we'll move on.
Okay.
So here he is.
I'll just play it.
He's talking about he's got an idea.
Of our president getting up and saying that it was all right for two women to marry or two men to marry.
I tell you right now, I was disappointed bad.
But I'll tell you right there, as sorry as you can get, the Bible's again it.
God's again it.
I'm again it.
And if you've got any sense, you're again it.
Boy, he sounds smart.
You got to say he does.
You got to hand it.
I'm again.
You're a gamete.
You know there's an S and a T in that word, right?
Again it.
That wasn't from the Hatfield and McCoy's.
This is a person in 2012 talking.
Again it.
Is your church?
I just hope he gets a good piece of bottom land.
Can you explain?
That's like in there.
I'll explode.
Okay, he's just worried that the revenues are going to find his still.
Okay, here we go.
There's more.
I had a way.
I figured a way out.
A way to get rid of all lesbians and queers.
First of all, you know something pithy isn't going to be said when in a southern accent someone says, I'll tell you what.
Getting rid of, I don't like the sound of that.
I'll tell you what.
Okay, here we go.
There's more to come.
Here we go.
I couldn't get it past the Congress.
He couldn't get it past the car.
How's how he's getting rid of the gay?
Build a great, big, large fence, 150 or 100 mile long.
Put all the lesbians in there.
Fly over and drop some food.
Do the same thing with the queers and the homosexuals.
Both the queers and the homosexuals.
That sounds a little redundant.
All right, all the queers over here, all the whole.
He's uneducated, I think.
When he goes to see Larry the Cable guy, he pulls out his opera glasses.
Very nice.
Here we go.
There's more to come.
Feels electrified till they can't get out.
Electric.
And you know what?
In a few years, they'll die out.
Do you know why they can't reproduce?
You know, that's how we get gay people.
When gay people have sex, that we get more gay people.
I guess that's what he's saying.
It sounds like this is for getting rid of gays, his final solution.
It does sound like that, but except like herding up people and putting them behind fences.
Except gay people don't make new gay people.
Gay people come from straight people, right?
They have to recruit or closeted people.
Like this person.
Like this guy?
He's again it.
He's a Guinness.
If a man ever has a youngin, praise God, he'll be the first.
Uh-huh.
All of these.
Youngest world.
Amen.
I'm going to preach the hell out of all of them.
Hey, I tell you right now, somebody said, who you going to vote for?
I ain't going to vote for a baby killer and a homosexual lover.
You said, did you mean to say that?
You better believe I did.
Amen.
Jesus hates right.
God have mercy.
It makes me puking sick.
And think about it.
I never heard that.
He's from the Church of Redundancy.
He's from Brooklyn, which is very strange.
And he hates queers and homosexuals.
Yes, and he makes them puke and sick.
I'm honestly waiting for Elmer Fudd to come by.
Okay, there's a little bit more.
Could you imagine kissing some man?
Give me a minute.
That's how he ends it.
God, I love you, though.
Can you imagine kissing a man?
That's how he ended it.
That pause was him imagining it.
He was imagining it.
I get the feeling he's pictured that more than a few times.
I get the same feeling.
Yeah, that's always he's angry at the gay inside of him.
Always.
Whenever someone's angry at the gay outwardly, it's their anger beating up the gay inside of him.
What do you think his inner gay pride parade looks like?
I think it has.
I think it's wearing black socks and sandals.
I think it's men dressed as the women from Little Abner.
Wow, we are really having a tough time today.
I was going to do a little abnormal reference, which I'm glad I didn't now.
I don't think we're attracting many young'ins.
If we could do...
Oh, God.
Music This has been, oh my God.
Oh, my God.
The Jimmy Door show is available as a podcast for free on iTunes.
Or for other ways to subscribe, go to JimmyDoorComedy.com.
And while you're there, you can listen to past episodes and you can comment on them too.
Remember, Jimmy spells his last name, D-O-R-E, jimmydorecomedy.com.
Thank you.
Okay, so my favorite, again, we talked about him, Donald Trump, everybody's favorite Carnival marker, is back at it again.
And apparently he needs attention because I don't know if you know that Apprentice is off the air for the summer, so he needs some attention.
And what does he do?
You know, what does a girl do when she needs to?
Well, he does the equivalent of a push-up bra on fake boobs.
He whips out the birth earth thing.
That's what he did.
He goes on the squawk box.
He went on squawkbox on CNBC.
That's how it all started.
And he said this.
Look, a publisher came out last week and had a statement about Obama given to them by Obama when he was doing a book as a young man a number of years ago in the 90s, born in Kenya and raised in Indonesia.
I mean, this was a statement.
This was from Obama.
Now, amazingly, the publishers, oh, we made a mistake.
I don't think life works that way.
Look, I don't know if you know how the world, how life works, but Donald Trump certainly does.
Okay.
And Donald Trump knows that publishers never make errors when putting out promotional pamphlets.
No, never.
That's just publishers are literally error-free when it comes to promotional pamphlets.
And that's just how life works.
And take it from a guy who seems to be running for the world's shittiest detective, Donald Trump.
Take it from him.
You know what I think really happened is what probably happened is Trump met with Romney in Vegas.
And after about two minutes, Trump said to himself, Jesus Christ, we better go back to the Obama's Born in Kenya thing.
Don't you think that's what happened?
There's a little bit more.
This was his original rant on Squawkbox that started off.
Now, is it the most important thing?
In a way, it is because, you know, you're not allowed to be president if you're not born in the country.
But let's see what happens.
I love that.
Let's see what happens.
Is it the most important thing?
You know, in a way, like, I'm just, I'm just here reporting.
Don't shoot the messenger.
That's what he's trying to pull right there.
The most important thing in the world is speculative hearsay.
That is by far.
And because if it really was fact, the publisher would have kept it secret.
There's no way a publisher would have capitalized on that.
Right, right.
Well, I like how he also says, well, let's see what happens.
As if we haven't already seen what happens.
The state of Hawaii certified his birth certificate.
He released his long-form birth certificate.
It's been examined by special.
So it's like, we still get it.
And there's so much that you could talk about Obama that is bad, that is real.
That he has gotten rid of habeas corpus.
That should be screamed from the mountaintops.
He's ignored the Constitution.
The problem, Paul, is that the things that Barack Obama should be criticized for, they agree with him on.
Right.
He's a Republican.
Barack Obama is a Republican.
He is a moderate Republican.
He is like the old-style Republicans that we used to like.
They used to be reasonable, and you could talk to them.
They used to be called Rockefeller Republicans, right?
Yeah.
And so, but they're gone.
And okay, so even guys like Barry Goldwater said, you know, after I'm dead, I'll be considered a liberal.
I don't know why these shows, I mean, when they have Trump on, they should say, they should set it up, you know, for the lighter side of the news right now.
We're going to have a crazy liar on who's going to rant right now.
And we're going to humor him and let him speak because it's kind of funny.
You know, what I hate is how he's treated as a genuine voice.
And I guess, you know, this week he is genuinely news, but that's really Mitt Romney's.
That should be all on Mitt Romney because Donald Trump is back in the news because Mitt Romney is doing a fundraiser with a known liar and racist.
And so that's why he's in the news.
Yeah, he's a rerun story from last year.
Yeah, but otherwise, but even though he is genuinely newsworthy this week, to have him on and treat him and to have him lie like that, and none of the people on Squawkbox are like correcting him or cutting him off.
Very, very little pushback on him.
And I know people make fun of his hair, but honestly, when you look at the way he combs his hair, is that somebody who reeks of honesty?
Honestly, you look at him and you go, this guy really doesn't care that he's trying to cover things up.
He is your classic.
I mean, honestly, God, I've said it before, but he is Carnival Barker.
He is a used car salesman.
He just never stops with the, he never stops lying.
And if it's, if, you know, it's like, hey, everybody's going great.
Everybody, this is great.
And I'm just asking questions.
And I he's just, he's just so here.
There's a little more to this squawk box thing.
Here we go.
This is something that came out last week.
A lot of people are questioning his birth certificate.
They're questioning the authenticity of his birth certificate.
I've been known as being a very smart guy for a long time.
I don't consider myself birth or not berther, but there are some major questions here, and the press doesn't want to cover it.
So I'm not fanning flames.
He's not fanning flames, Paul.
He's not fancy.
And the press doesn't want to, but guess what?
He ran into, you know, Donald Trump, world's worst detective, ran into the world's worst journalist who happens to be a little bit better than Donald Trump.
So he went on with Wolf Blitzer.
Ready?
Listen, this is Donald Trump going through a buzzaw.
Okay.
Boy, good thing he didn't sit down with Katie Kirk.
That's all I'm saying.
Here he is with Wolf Blitzer.
Take a look, and you tell me, really, you analyzed the birth certificate.
There are many people that don't agree with that birth certificate.
They don't think it's authentic, Wolf.
I don't know when you say many people who don't agree.
Many people.
Like who?
Give me a name of somebody.
There's a position of authority in Hawaii who says, but give me a name.
There are many people.
I don't give names.
There are many people that do not believe that birth certificate is authentic.
There's many people that don't like blacks.
There's many people that don't like gays.
Yeah, give me a name.
No, I don't give names.
Hey, he's not the cops.
This isn't the cops.
No one's going to jail.
You know, we just want to know who did you find that is credible that says this birth certificate is it not.
I don't give names.
And you know why he doesn't give names?
You know, Rack?
I've been known as being a very smart guy for a long time.
Yes, you know, and there's nothing that says I'm smart more than there's a one sheer sign of intelligence is that you have to tell people you're smart and remind them that it's been for a long time.
Yeah, remember?
You also tell people, and he all the time, he always brags about how rich and successful he is, which indicates to me he's not that rich and successful.
He's been in bankruptcy many times.
Do you remember else who else had to brag about how smart he was?
I can handle things.
I'm smart.
I'm like everybody since dumb, I'm smart and I want the sticks.
That's right.
That's what he wants.
Fredo.
That's right.
That's right.
He's smart.
Does it sound like him?
I've been known as being a very smart guy for a long time.
And he is sense.
Like dumb, I'm smart.
The Fredo comparison is very apt because, like Fredo, Trump was sent off to run casinos and has banged waitresses two at a time.
But didn't get slapped around by Mo Green, which is a shame.
I've been known as being a very smart guy for a long time.
You can't see it, but he's delivering that from a very low-slung chair on the shores of Lake Tahoe.
I can handle things.
I'm smart.
You're nothing to me now.
I'm smart and I want the sticks.
I could play that all day long.
It was you, Donald Trump.
You broke my heart.
So there's more to this because do you remember when remember when Donald Trump was going around saying this?
I have people that actually have been studying it and they cannot believe what they're finding.
You have people now down there searching.
I mean, in Hawaii?
Absolutely.
And they cannot believe what they're finding.
Yeah, you know who else can't believe what they're finding?
Everybody else.
How about that?
Everybody.
Nobody believes what they're finding.
Oh, my God.
You know what's even more amazing is nobody's really searching for anything in Hawaii, but I keep saying it with total conviction.
Right.
And you know, I don't know if you were going to play it, but Wolf Blitzer asked him about that.
Here it comes.
Ready?
Here it comes.
All right.
Tell us what your people who were investigating in Hawaii, what they found.
We don't have to go into old news.
That's how we found.
I thought it was important.
Many people, you can read many, many articles on the authenticity of the certificate.
I can handle things.
I can give everybody sense.
I dumb.
I'm just sick.
Old news.
That's old news.
Yeah, you know, you'd think I'd want to talk about what my investigators found on the wire, but I'd rather look like I'm making shit up as I go along.
Right, right.
Because you would think if they had found incredible, amazing things.
That'd be a big story.
They would back up his story by presenting the facts.
But since he was obviously lying and no one will call him on it, he might also be the world's worst publicist.
Yeah, Donald Trump for himself, you mean?
Yeah.
You know, you know, that whole thing about there's no such thing as bad press, I think he really believes that.
I mean, he embraces it more than anybody.
I think he thinks he can revive the economy because he revived Arsenio Hall's career.
Oh, boy.
That was a man.
You know, you got to tip your hat to Donald Trump for that.
Who else?
Eddie Murphy couldn't bring Arsenio Hall back to life, but he did.
Okay, let's hear that one more time.
People who were investigating in Hawaii, what they found.
We don't have to go into old news.
That's old news.
Plenty found.
You can call many people.
You can read many, many people.
The authenticity of the certificate.
Yeah.
He likes the word many.
Yeah.
Oh, he loves it.
His authenticity is many.
I like everybody sex.
Like, dumb, I'm smart.
And I want the sex.
He wants respect.
I can play that.
I can just keep playing that.
You get the feeling that in 1965, he would have said civil rights are wrong because there's many, many people in the South that know it's wrong.
And a lot of people said that at the time.
Yes, a lot of people.
You know, the Bible says, a lot of people.
That's all he would say.
Okay.
So what do you think?
Now, people, everybody's perplexed.
Let's go to you, Paul.
What could possibly be the upside for Mitt Romney in this?
I have no idea.
Well, I suppose the heat is taken off of the fact that he has zero charisma, no foreign policy experience, and he comes across as a robot.
So instead of talking about that, we're talking about him.
Yeah, but you would think, I mean, yesterday, Mitt Romney clinched the Republican nomination in Texas, and you would think he would go to Texas and have a big rousing speech to kick off that he's the historic, genuinely historic event, that he's now the official Nominee of the party, but instead he hung out in Vegas with Fredo.
So I find it very hard to understand, but I think maybe that the Romney people just think this is the way to go.
We got to get the crazies on board.
We've got to, they might have research that shows he's not going to beat Obama just on merit.
So we've got to create a newspaper.
And also, Mitt Romney released his own birth certificate on the same day that the Vegas thing happened.
So that's Mitt Romney's way of saying, yeah, I'm, you know, I'm in on all this.
You know, I'm on, I'm not going to officially say that officially I'm going to say, oh, well, if Obama says he was born here, I take him at his word.
You know, which is what they all say.
I don't know if you noticed that Pitt Romney, when he released his birth certificate yesterday, it was that it said certificate of live birth, which was a big bone of contention with all the birthers that Barack Obama's birth certificate was on a birthday.
It's a certificate of live birth.
I remember who was the guy, G. Gordon Liddy?
G. Gordon Liddy.
So he was gone.
Chris Method.
He goes, this isn't a birthday.
This is a certificate of live birth.
And so that was.
It's the same thing.
I always thought there was the same thing.
They made a big deal.
They made a big deal.
I always thought it was the same thing, but they were making a big deal out of it back then.
I remember that.
And if Obama hadn't released his long form, I mean, this just goes to show how crazy that he really had to release it, even though he shouldn't have had to release it.
Right.
This just goes to show you how utterly crazy.
I mean, it's crazy, even though every bit of documentation to prove that he was born in America is.
Yeah, he's like, well, we still have to see.
You know what you're talking about?
All we're asking for is a five or six page document signed by Reagan.
Okay, how much time we got left?
Now they're going to start asking, you know, he claims he was born in Hawaii in 1961.
Was there a Facebook announcement about it?
I never saw one.
You know what?
I actually talked to.
Oh, you know what?
Before we, before we let's just play one more time before we've been known as being a very smart guy for a long time.
I'm smart.
I'm like everybody sense.
Like, dumb, I'm smart and I want the sticks.
That'll work.
That's fun.
That's just good, clean fun.
Okay, now let's play the Mitt Romney conversation.
So I sat down with him.
I had some questions to ask Mitt Romney.
I'm on the line with Mitt Romney.
Thanks for being on the show again, Governor.
Oh, thank you.
It's great to be here, Jimmy.
Not to brag, but I was just in Las Vegas with my party peep, Donald Trump.
Did you guys party down while you were there?
Well, you better believe it, Buster.
I was feeling no pain.
Because you got wasted?
No, because I never feel anything.
Thought machines experience more genuine human emotion than I am.
I believe that.
But even so, you've got to admit that it's pretty disturbing that you haven't repudiated Donald Trump and his crazy birther conspiracy crap.
Jimmy, I don't agree with everything my supporters say and do.
I need 50.1% of the vote to get elected.
That means I have to win over a lot of jack-offs.
Does that mean you'd accept anyone's help?
Would you have no objections if, say, Charles Manson supported you?
Look, Jimmy, Charles Manson and I differ on certain issues.
He believes that ritualistic cult murders are okay.
I don't.
Reasonable people can disagree about such things.
But if I was lucky enough to get the Manson endorsement, I absolutely would accept it.
Chuck has a history of leadership, and so do I. Do you have no moral objection to him?
Well, of course I do.
Charlie Manson led a coven of worshipful young women, and he had sex with all of them.
That's disgusting.
If he had followed the sacred teachings of my church, he would have married all of them at once.
Okay, but what about Trump?
Don't you think he's a truly reprehensible person?
Oh, you wouldn't say that if you had the privilege of hanging out with him in Vegas, Jimmy.
I mean, the Doddle and I. Together on the strip, we were like a pack of rats.
You mean the rat pack?
Oh, yes, the rat pack.
You know, I have to admit, that does sound fun.
What did you swing in Rat Packers do?
All right.
Okay, there's no need for that kind of language.
But first of all, I tagged along while Donald spent all night trying to prove that Sammy Davis Jr. wasn't born in the United States.
Come on, Governor.
What good can come from being linked to a crackpot like Trump?
Jimmy, look, you simply don't understand the intricacies of politics, but I do.
I'm a businessman.
Pardon me.
And I drink Diet Coke, which makes me burnt while I talk.
And I'm a businessman, and I know how to be successful.
So trust me on this.
Now, if you excuse me, I have to go.
Where are you going, Mitt?
To Miami Beach to campaign for the Jewish vote with Mel Gibson.
Okay, thanks for checking in, Governor.
Sure thing, Jimmy.
Have a great summer.
Thanks, Governor.
And get bent, you fuckstack.
Okay, that was Mitt Romney calling in to let us know.
Of course, always done by the inimitable Mike McRae, who can be found at MikeMcRae.com.
The Jimmy Door show is available as a podcast for free on iTunes.
Or for other ways to subscribe, go to JimmyDoorComedy.com.
And while you're there, you can listen to past episodes and you can comment on them too.
Remember, Jimmy spells his last name, D-O-R-E, jimmydorecomedy.com.
And right now, we're up against a break.
This is the Jimmy Doerr show.
We'll see in a minute.
Hey, podcast listeners.
How are you, my favorite listeners?
There's a little bonus at the end of the show today.
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It's a little longer.
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Who cares, Jimmy?
Just shut up and tell us what you have to say.
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Okay, thanks for helping support the show.
And you can always use the Amazon.com link.
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It's right on the front page, right on the right-hand side.
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You know what I'm trying to say.
My lips are getting in front of me today.
Okay, I'm having sound issues again.
And with the, who cares about any of this, Jimmy?
Just let's get back to the funny in the show.
Okay, so now let's get back to the show.
Guess what's coming up in the second half?
Well, I'm going to tell you in a second.
Okay, thanks for listening.
Thanks for your support.
And hey, don't forget, June 30th.
What's June 30th?
That's when the next left, right, and ridiculous is happening at the Improv Lab, left, right, and ridiculous.
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That's going to be, that's a fun show already.
Okay, so all right, so let's get back to this week's show.
Hi, everybody.
Welcome back to the Jimmy Door Show.
I'm joined in studio by former writer for the Daily Show, hilarious comedian Steve Rosenfield, is here.
Next to him from Mystery Science Theater 3000 and CinematicTitanic.com, it's Frank Connoff, TV's Frank.
And next to him, host of the Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast.
It's Paul Gil Martin.
So what's coming up on the second half of today's show?
We're going to take a look at the Keystone cops of morality, the Catholic bishops, and we're going to look into what their problem was.
But first up, overall, we're going to get a phone call from Ron Paul's going to call in.
Plus, Paula Dean calls in on the second half hour of the Jimmy Door show.
But right now, we're going to talk about Chris Matthews because Chris Matthews had some stuff to say about how important cable news is.
And let me just let me, you know, Chris Matthews, I want to like him.
I really want to like him.
But really, you know, when has Chris Matthews ever broken a story?
When has anybody?
I mean, the last time, the last time Chris Matthews had a scoop, it was at Baskin Robbins.
I mean, he's ever the sick offense to power from Kennedy to Obama.
There wasn't a president that Chris Matthews didn't get weak in the knees about.
Observing the photo op of George W. Bush in an air fighter fatigues, he oozed about how good he looked and that women love this war, unquote.
Never thinking to question the massive, quote, mission accomplished banner our draft dodging commander-in-chief was posing in front of.
And surfing the tide of history, Matthews turned against the Iraq war when it became fashionable.
Yet when confronted with anyone taking a stand based on principle instead of politics, he tells them to grow up.
Living in the post-investigative journalism television era, the only reason history will keep repeating is because we convince ourselves that we won't let history repeat.
And speaking of Kennedy, Chris Matthews and the corporate media have taken a piece of what Kennedy said as their motto, ask not.
So I'm going to play a clip from him, and you try not to let your head blow off of your shoulders.
I mean, I will spend the rest of my life trying to figure out how we went to war with Iraq, why we had the Iraq War with the president.
Okay, let me just stop it right there.
You know, Socrates said that the unexamined life is not worth living.
And Chris Matthews says he'll spend the rest of his life trying to figure out how the American people were able to be talked into a war in Iraq.
He may be able to gather some important clues if he sat down and watched tapes of himself from that time working on the same 24-7 news network owned by a military contractor, by the way, that fired Phil Donahue and canceled their top-rated program because, oh, yeah, it was critical of the looming war in Iraq.
The president of limited rhetorical and intellectual skills was able to talk us into a war.
And the non-critical factor, the media, is gone.
We are a critical media today.
The media today is totally different than it was in 22 going into that war buildup.
There would be questioning on MS. There'd be arguments on Fox, on CNN.
People would be looking at it, listening to the neocon drumbeat.
They'd be hearing Crystal and Wolfwitz make their case and say, wait a minute, there's a clutch of people here pushing this war.
This country doesn't want word.
They want this war.
That group of ideologues want this war.
We would see it.
We would question this conflation of Iraq with what happened on 9-11.
We wouldn't allow the people to say, let's get even for 9-11 to go to war with a country that had nothing to do with it.
There would be critical, in-depth analysis of the arguments put forth by the administration, and they would be challenged.
And I would like to think there'd be a reckoning that we didn't have then because of modern media.
24-7 is good because it's not only breadth, it's depth and depth of argument and critical argument on the air.
No more of this.
The president said this.
Let's get embedded with his thinking.
Oh, wait a minute.
Let's question his thinking.
The United States has never been the aggressor in this way before.
Aggressors were the bad guys we were running.
How can we change that tradition overnight with one president again with limited abilities able to do that?
Changing the definition of when we go to war?
The critical questions weren't asked.
The media was intellectually embedded with the thinking of the administration.
I'm just reading the Cronkite book.
I'm on page 350.
Morley Safer was in the field in Vietnam saying this war isn't winning.
We're not winning this war.
Cronkite was slow to accept that.
People like Andy Rooney were always with the embedded thinking.
We have to be with the military.
That debate was three years in the running from 65 to 68.
Today it would take about an hour to get to it.
And that's why it's different.
We would move quicker.
We wouldn't take three years to realize the war was unwinnable.
It was 24-7 back then.
Okay, there's so many things.
And we're going to get to all of them.
But let me just get to the first point.
It would take us how long to figure out a war is unwinnable, Chris?
He says an hour it would have taken us to figure out.
Did you not get your invitation to the gala celebrating the 11th anniversary of the Afghan war, Chris?
Celine Dion and Caratop are going to perform.
You didn't get that invitation, Chris?
You don't know that?
And I'm pretty sure Matthews is doing some kind of hipster irony character here.
I mean, how else would he compare Vietnam, Iraq, and Afghanistan without pointing out the fact that accurate journalism in Vietnam is the reason journalists are now restricted from actual information?
Like, he doesn't talk about any of that.
He says that let's go, let's go through it.
So we go through it together.
Let's go through it together.
So we're going to stop and start at this time because that was a lot to take in.
What is the example that he offers up why things have changed?
He's claiming that what he does now didn't exist then, that he's ignoring that there was a show.
He had a show, and as has been saying, he celebrated the mission accomplished a landing on the aircraft card.
He celebrated it.
And I used to watch him every time Bush made a State of the Union speech.
He would talk about what a great wartime president he was.
He would talk about the Churchillian eloquence.
He says in that that we let an inarticulate man lead us to war.
Chris Matthews used to talk about how great Bush's oratory was.
Do you want to hear some of the stuff he used to say?
Here's some.
Let me just say, it may be 2012, but every time Chris Matthews opens his mouth, it feels like 1984.
And also, you've got to enjoy the joke, Frank.
You have to listen before you make your point.
I know.
Go ahead, make your point.
His first show after the mission accomplished event, he brought on G. Gordon Liddy.
And there's a transcript of this.
And G. Gordon Liddy talked about how great Bush looked, how great his crotch looked.
I'm not making this up.
Specifically his crotch.
Specifically, his crotch and how manly he was.
And Chris Matthews was agreeing with everything he said.
So Chris Matthews, in this time of war, his thought was, let's bring on a convicted felon to talk about how everyone who's criticizing this war is just anti-American and doesn't get it.
Yeah, let's bring on someone who admittedly lied to Congress to talk about how these people who are anti-war are anti-American.
Here's some of the quotes he said, right?
So this is from May 1st, 2003.
We're proud of our president.
Americans love having a guy as president, a guy who has a little swagger, who's physical, who's not a complicated guy like Clinton, or even like Dukakis or Mondale.
All those guys, McGovern, they want a guy who's president.
Women like a guy who's president.
Check it out.
The women like this war.
I think we are having a hero.
We like having a hero as our president.
It's simple.
We're not like the Brits.
This is the thing.
This is what he's talking about.
You want to hear a clip from him?
Here.
I like him.
Everybody sort of likes the president, except for the real whack jobs, maybe on the left.
I mean, like him personally.
Oh, my God.
That was from April of 2003.
Everybody likes the president except the whack jobs.
Except the whack jobs.
And here he is all these years later going, we would have been so critical of him.
We wouldn't have let him get away with it.
Yeah, it would have taken.
And that must have changed the whole format of news to make that argument because he has to pretend that there wasn't the full story.
I think with this whole thing that Chris Matthews just said this week, I think he steps up away from like everyone on cable news is horrible.
Just about a few exceptions.
He's like worse than O'Reilly or any of them, I think.
Well, let's just go through it again.
I mean, I will spend the rest of my life trying to figure out how we went to war with Iraq.
Because you were on the air, that's why.
Limited rhetorical and intellectual skills was able to talk us into a war.
Yes, this is the sound of a conscience trying to clear itself.
Yes, yes.
Bush had limited rhetorical and intellectual skills.
So you know what he did?
He got guys like Chris Matthews and every other news journalist to make his arguments for him by wearing a cool suit and reminding us of Top Guns so that the war could be this thing and you wouldn't have to think about the fact that actual Iraqis, civilians were dying.
Actual American soldiers were dying.
I hope people who listen to this show, and I love all of you, except for a few, and I hope you understand how just this may be the craziest thing we've ever played.
This is certainly crazier than any Oh My God segment I've ever played.
What he's saying now is just so directly opposed to reality.
It's sociopathical.
It's sociopathic.
He's a total lie.
He's totally lying.
He's so embedded in the old media, even though the new media is here, that he doesn't understand that everything he said is available to be watched and read.
He doesn't see himself as part of the problem.
Right.
So here, let's go through it.
And the non-critical factor of the media is gone.
We are a critical media today.
Bullshit.
Bullshit.
Sure, we're, hey God, we're.
Where's the outcry that the Constitution is being trampled?
You know what?
He's right.
We are a critical media today because, I mean, has there been anything that has benefited mankind more than the 24-7 news cycle, the 24-7 cable news?
I mean, thanks to what he's talking about, the 24-7 cable news, we don't have a political system that serves money instead of the people.
I mean, that's why we have that.
Because of cable news, we don't bail out banks because of orchestrated hysteria.
We don't do that anymore.
We have cable news, and that's why we are not pointlessly losing young lives in Afghanistan right now, because we have guys like Chris Matthews.
All that stuff.
Nothing.
And why Wall Street continues to fuck us.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
None of those people go to jail.
I'm saying everything he's claiming, we're still in the war.
What are you talking about?
This is longer than Vietnam.
What are you talking about?
Also, yeah, it's pretty outrageous, too, how he talks about Morley Safer and Andy Rooney and Walter Cronkite of what, you know, those, all they had was broadcast media back then.
If only they had had 24-hour cable news.
But those people ended up being able to reveal more about what was eventually revealing more about what was really going on than any of these 24-hour cable.
They questioned power.
They spoke truth to power.
The media today is totally different than it was in 22 going into that war buildup.
There would be questioning on MS. There'd be arguments on Fox, on CNN.
What he really wants to say is, I will speak truth to power when it doesn't scare me.
Yeah.
When it's safe.
So what Chris Matthews did was he'll always point when people say, wait a minute, you were pro-war.
He goes, look at my columns in the San Francisco Chronicle.
I was always anti-war.
So he would write a column in the San Francisco Chronicle saying he was anti-war, knowing no one reads his column.
And then he would go on his television show and say the exact opposite.
He would be on board.
He would never question.
He would say how much he loves George Bush.
Only whack jobs don't like this guy.
Stuff like that.
He would say stuff like, we're all neocons now.
He said that.
April 9th, he said that in 2003.
We're all neocons now.
He also said about Bush, he won the war.
Everybody knows that except for a few critics.
Okay, I'll give you a couple more.
This is from, again, April 9th, 2003, speaking about Howard Dean.
Chris Matthews says, what's he going to talk about in a year from now?
The fact that the war went too well and it's over?
I mean, don't these things sort of lose their...
He said that.
He said that.
And also, he was a big proponent of the big gang up when Howard Dean did that scream at the end of his speech, which was no big deal and shouldn't have been blown out all out of proportion.
He was leading the pack.
And I also remember him saying something to the effect of Howard Dean is doing this event.
I forget where it was.
And he goes, he might not do well there because people in that part of the country are very patriotic.
He said when President Obama Went and gave a speech at the Academy for the Young Cadets.
I forget what it's called.
It might have been Annapolis.
I'm not sure where he was.
He said, oh, look, he's going into enemy territory.
He's the commander-in-chief, you ass.
Unbelievable.
That's the kind of stuff that Chris Matthews said.
Oh, look, he's going into enemy territory.
He's a total, he's a total coward morally.
He's a totally morally behavior also.
A whole other subject from this is his coverage of the 2000 election, which was very anti-communist.
Al Gore is a stiff policy wonk who needs Naomi Wolf to tell him how to dress.
He doesn't.
He wears blue coats, which tells you something about him.
George W. And he's an Ivy League guy who's not a real American.
Whereas George Bush is a regular guy that you can have a beer with.
Meanwhile, George Bush had every bit of an Ivy League career as Al Gore.
He went to Yale and Harvard.
Yet he's and grew up in Kenny Bunkport, you know, and yet.
And didn't serve.
He didn't serve.
And Gore did.
And Gore did.
The media helped Gore lose.
Yeah, they did.
By evening the tables, which they didn't need to do, by making Bush's stupidity look like a virtue.
And then after Florida, they acted like Gore was a sore loser who wouldn't give in, and that the country would explode if we counted all the votes.
So they lined up with Bush both before and after the election.
Absolutely, yes.
Accidentally, I don't know if you heard the show last week that I know I've been letting a lot more of the laughter between Mike McRae and I play, but I actually made a screw-up and let way too much of it play.
And we were talking and stuff, and I let it play, and that was an accident.
So that's what maybe we're going to talk about with Ron Paul.
Yeah, Ron, Dr. Paul, I apologize.
I had a bad edit last week, and I left in some of the parts of our conversation I meant to cut out.
Yeah, that was just about the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
Yeah, that was, I apologize.
Yeah, that was a giant boner you made.
Yeah, I know.
Now, do you have any comment to make about Mitt Romney cozying up to Donald Trump, Donald Trump, who's a birther?
Well, that's ridiculous.
I mean, Donald Trump's a boron.
So you believe that President Obama is a natural-born citizen?
Well, yeah, I have no reason not to believe him.
I mean, I take him at his word that he was born in this country.
But I just find it strange that when they ask him when he was born, you know, whether he was born here or where the hospital was born, and he says, you know, he doesn't, he very conveniently doesn't remember.
Well, he was a baby.
How does anybody?
Nobody remembers what hospital they were born in.
Well, I made a business of delivering babies, but trust me, I made sure they remembered getting born.
No, I don't think babies can remember.
But yeah, I don't think babies remember.
You're here, Buster.
Yeah, I don't think that babies can remember being born.
Well, we'll surely get hell.
We'll sure they can.
What do you think that we should do?
You know, you're a foreign policy expert.
And, you know, we expelled the Syrian diplomats here because Syria is now massacring its own people.
And so we expelled the Syrian diplomats.
Well, I just certainly hope they don't.
You know, we don't hear a lot of saber rattling about going into Syria and stopping the massacres.
But they're massacres.
Don't you think we should stop them?
Those massacres are none of our business.
Okay, they're none of our business.
Listen, I noticed they had the Texas primary.
Now, Mitt Romney clinched in Texas.
And the big reason was he beat you in Texas, your home state.
In fact, he beat you in your home district.
Now, come on.
What do you say to that, Dr. Paul?
Mitt Romney beat you in every county in your home state of Texas.
Some northerner like Mitt Romney beat you in your own home state.
Well, I'm from Pennsylvania, first of all.
I didn't know that.
Yeah, maybe you might want to do your research for it.
Yeah, but you lived, you've been living in Texas for decades.
Yeah, I know, but so is Mike McRae.
Doesn't mean he hates northerners.
Mike, how do you know about Mike McRae and hating northerners?
Oh, he's, you know, he's a well-known comedian around in Texas.
Yeah.
Have you heard of him?
Yeah, oh, sure.
He's a big favorite here on the show, Mike McRae.
Everybody loves him.
Oh, really?
He's very talented.
He was on the Frank Caliendo show.
Well, no one gave a shit about that.
No, no one.
Oh, credits throw out.
Now he headlines Vegas at his own room, I think, for Caliando.
Oh, Caliendo, dear.
Oh, yeah.
I thought you were talking about him.
Yeah, no, it worked out for Frank Caliendo.
Not so much for Mike.
Oh, I hear you.
But he's young.
He's got his whole life ahead of him.
He's only in his.
Oh, wow.
He's getting late.
I think I better go.
Okay, doctors.
Good talking to you.
All right, go fuck yourself.
Fuck fake.
The Jimmy Dore show is available as a podcast for free on iTunes.
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Okay, let's get back to the show.
We're sitting in with Frank Conner from Mystery Science Theater 3000, Paul Gilmartin from the Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast, and former writer for the daily show, Steve Rosenfield.
And we're talking about Chris Matthews and the crazy stuff he was saying about how cable news really saved the world.
People would be looking at it, listening to the neocon drumbeat.
They'd be hearing Crystal and Wolfwitz make their case and say, wait a minute, there's a clutch of people here pushing this war.
This country doesn't want they want this war.
That group of ideologues want this war.
We would see it.
We would question this conflation of Iraq with what happened on 9-11.
So he's saying we would see it because guys like him would be on the TV saying stuff like this.
I like him.
Everybody sort of likes the president, except for the real whack jobs, maybe on the left.
I mean, like him personally.
We wouldn't allow the people to say, let's get even for 9-11 and go to war with a country that had nothing to do with it.
There would be critical, in-depth analysis of the arguments put forth by the administration, and they would be challenged.
And I would like to think there'd be a reckoning that we could reckon then.
A reckoning.
There'd be a reckoning.
These guys are going on Sunday TV and brag about war crimes that they ordered.
There's going to be a reckoning.
No, there isn't a reckoning, Chris, because we have company men like you around.
That's why there isn't a reckoning.
There's a reckoning of information in our country, of journalism, is what there is a reckoning.
Yeah.
Would you say reckoning, meaning like that they're wrecking it?
24-7 is good because it's not only breadth, it's depth and depth of argument and critical argument on the air.
No more of this.
The president said this.
Let's get embedded with his thinking.
Oh, wait a minute.
Let's question his thinking.
The United States has never been the aggressor in this way before.
Aggressors were the bad guys we were running.
How can we change that tradition overnight with one president again with limited abilities able to do that?
Changing the definition of when we go to war.
The critical questions weren't asked.
The media was intellectually embedded with the thinking in the administration.
I'm just reading.
So where were you, Chris?
You had a show back then.
Nobody was asking.
You had a show.
Joe Scarborough had a show that was Fox News back then.
There was CNN back then.
What are you talking about?
What is he talking about?
The Cronkite book.
I'm on page 350.
Morley Safer was in the field in Vietnam saying this war isn't winning.
We're not winning this war.
Cronkite was slow to accept that.
People like Andy Rooney were always with the embedded thinking.
We have to be with the military.
That debate was three years in the running from 65 to 68.
Today would take about an hour.
And that's why it's different.
That's a false comparison because he's talking about the 60s and he's jumping up to today.
And we're not talking about the things 10 years ago were the same as this.
Since he mentioned Andy Rooney, can I just say, did you ever notice how Chris Matthews is a buffoon?
And let's take that comparison.
So it took them three years.
They decided to get out of it.
We're still in Afghanistan.
We're still there.
The longest war ever.
We have cable news.
It's still the longest war ever.
What are you talking about?
We're firing teachers, cops, and firemen, Chris.
Costing us billions.
And we're still billions and billions every year.
Still sinking billions of dollars into that war.
Still, and we have you, Chris.
How can you let?
How can you be saying these things in the middle of a war that we all know is bull?
We wouldn't take three years to realize the war was unwinnable.
And that's what's great about what's happening today: depth of argument and diversity of opinion, and not this sort of lemming-like acceptance of authority.
That's gone.
But thank God for cable because that's what's going on today.
Without cable, it's just network thinking, and I'm telling you, embedded thinking, which is dangerous.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're going to take the other side of the argument.
Yeah, we no longer have the lemming-like acceptance of authority.
Call it takes us 4,400 dead Americans, eight years and trillions of dollars.
And instinctively, we get this airy feeling we made a mistake.
It's unbelievable.
This is the newsman.
This is the guy who wants to be the face of a news channel.
This is the news guy.
Okay.
It's overwhelming.
It's truly something.
I want to play this clip every week on the show.
I want to play this.
I want to go to his house and play it on a flat screen in front of his house.
I want to follow him around on the streets of Manhattan with this playing on a big.
No one in his circle is going to confront him.
No one's going to come.
No one.
You think Chuck Todd is going to stick it to him?
He's never going to be confronted about any of this stuff.
So he can, in his own mind, I think he, that's why I say sociopathic.
I think he really believes all this stuff he's saying.
I think he does.
He sounds like he believes it.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, that's a comfort.
Does he realize that part of the journalism is not accepting the facts that were handed to you?
Now that the facts are there, he's outraged.
But he acts like as if in the future, this isn't going to happen because the facts are going to be obvious.
And then no, it's going to be a smoke and mirrors, but your job is going to be to see through it.
We still have a financial system that is teetering on the brink of collapse every day.
And we have you, Chris.
We still have too big to fail.
They're bigger to fail.
The things that are worse, it's nothing he said is true.
Nothing he said is true.
Zero.
The opposite of what he's in Bizarro land.
Oh, God.
I can handle this.
Speaking of stupid.
I'm smacked and I want the stitch.
Okay, that's how it is.
Michael, let's play hardball.
All right, we got one more.
Paula Dean.
You know, now I want to let everybody know the reason why we make fun of Paula Dean's eating habits is because Paula Dean has a show where she teaches people to cook in the most unhealthy ways, you know, donut burgers, things like that.
Deep-fried, by the way, everything.
And so she had developed diabetes, which she kept from her viewers.
She didn't tell them, hey, by the way, if you eat like this, you're going to get diabetes.
She kept it a secret until she got a contract to endorse a diabetes drug.
And then she came out.
Hey, by the way, I'm moderation.
I missed moderate.
So I just thought it was her duplicitus that we make fun of her and her pretending to be a modern.
I'm involved.
I've always took modern.
So that's why I just want people to know that.
Okay, here.
I have to set this up a little bit.
Did you know that the Anthony Bourdain?
That's it.
Anthony Bourdain.
Oh, of course you would know the guy with the cooking show.
Anthony Bourdain just got a show on CNN.
Did you know that?
Yeah, so we wanted to talk to Paula Dean about it.
And here's what she had to say.
So, Paula, how are you?
What's on your mind?
I understand you got something to say about the new show on CNN.
Oh, Jimmy, I got a little crawdaddy in my clippers about this whole thing.
Hey, Tim, you ever heard of CNN?
What are you saying?
CNN.
You know, CNN.
CNN.
Is that what you're saying?
CNN?
CNN.
Is that what you're saying?
Deto boys, they went and hired Anthony Bourdain.
Host his own show on CNN.
Now, that just rubbed me raw like sandpaper up on my butt.
I don't.
He.
Where's my CNN show?
Are you jealous?
I hate to say it because it's not a Christian virtue, but yes, I am.
Jealous.
Getting his own TV program.
Well, you know, it actually tapes in Atlanta.
Are you ever in Atlanta?
I know.
And I am the Southern girl.
Right.
Why cheese him?
I'm all right.
I could do a travel show about eating around Atlanta.
Do you have respect?
I blow him out of the water.
I'll take, I go there.
I know all the little spots that the camera crew can follow me around too.
I'll talk about all the board money.
I'd go to Uncle Poo Poo's house of butter every time I'm down there.
I could do a show about food and travel.
I am having a devil of time just consoling myself over this whole thing.
So you want to get a show on a news network?
Do you want it to be about just cooking or are you going to talk about other things?
I do what he does, cook and travel and talk to people about food and butter and margarine and gravy and frying things up and catching old crawdads and donuts and all sorts of, you know, how eating can change your body.
Yeah, you mean like getting diabetes?
Of course not, silly.
I'm talking about how my body has chemically changed so that it makes its own gravy.
My lymph nodes have altered so that that gravy comes out of them.
That's next step in human evolution.
I'm like an X-Men.
And I'm on the X-Men.
I'm gravy.
Gravy girl.
Hey, let me ask you questions, Timmy Dorn.
Sure.
I hear on your show, you talk to Chris Christie sometimes.
Uh-huh.
He calls in.
I got, I got, I got it.
Yeah, I got a little crush on him.
Oh, you like Chris Christie?
I got a little crush on him.
Is there a way you get me in touch with him?
You know what?
I'll pass it along.
The next time he calls in, I'll let him know that Paula Dean's looking for you.
I heard one old boy on your show said he signed a defensive marina ass.
Yes.
Is that true?
I'm not sure.
I'll have to check into that.
I don't know.
This one old boy on your show, I heard him say he's trying to change it to the Olive Garden state.
Is that true?
Yeah.
I'm not sure if that's true.
I'll have to check into that.
I think that might have been a joke.
Oh, he's dreamy.
I heard his policy for pie in the sky.
Is that true?
You know, I think, again, I think that's just another joke.
I heard that his glands have changed themselves so that they make Alfredo sauce the same way.
We should get together and get naked and just roll around together and excrete our various sauces.
What do you think about that?
You want to think about that, isn't it?
I do.
Maybe they can film that and put it on CNN.
You know what I'm talking about when I'm talking about CNN?
Okay, Timmy, I'll talk to you later.
CNN.
Okay.
Okay.
you Of course, Paula Dean, the voice of Paula Dean, done by the inimitable Mike McRae, who can be found at mikemcrae.com and might be coming to his city, too.
He's in San Antonio this weekend.
He never tells me ahead of time so I can plug him.
But anyway, that's Mike McRae, hilarious.
And right now, podcast listeners are getting a bonus.
What's the bonus, Jimmy?
Well, Liz Winstead, the creator of The Daily Show, and she had a big hand in developing the Air America.
She discovered Rachel.
Lots of stuff you're going to learn about her.
And she was hilarious.
I just got done listening to our interview.
And I listened to, I laughed three times in the first two minutes out loud.
She's a delight.
And she's got a lot of interesting things to say about things and about the creation of the Daily Show.
So we're going to give you a little tease.
We're going to have the full interview with her on my other show, Comedy and Everything Else.
Right now, here's a little tease of Liz Winstead.
You know, she wrote a new book called Liz Free or Die.
What a catchy title.
Liz Free or Die.
Liz Free or Die has got some great write-ups.
You want to hear what Mother Jones magazine says about it?
It says Winstead traces her evolution from an unladylike baby daughter of a large Catholic family in Minnesota to a comedian who found a way to use humor to speak truth to power.
She tells of getting an abortion after being knocked up by her hockey player boyfriend in high school, spending a fortune on her dog's waist problems.
We talk about that too.
And saying goodbye to her dying father, all with insight and understated humor.
Wow.
Well, it was a delight to talk to her.
She is very funny in person.
I enjoyed very much our interview.
And you're going to get to hear some of it right now.
Here is some of Liz Winstead and her new book, Liz Free or Die.
Okay, talking to the mics.
We'll talk.
And I'll give you, we're sitting here with Liz Winstead, ladies and gentlemen, and she's very accomplished.
I've been learning a lot about her, co-creator of The Daily Show and Air America.
Like, I didn't know that.
You didn't?
Well, Frank told me that I said, hey, I'm going to have Liz on the show and we were blah, blah, blah.
And somehow it came up that, yeah, well, she was responsible for finding Rachel Maddow.
And I was like, get out of here.
I had no idea.
I didn't know enough about you, Liz.
I had no idea.
That's okay.
You know, I'm not much of a, I just stay home a lot and order in food and complain about the world.
And so I'm not out there with my resume.
Maybe that's part of the problem.
I don't know.
I didn't think there was a problem.
No, there's really nothing.
I can't turn on the TV without seeing you.
You're on Rachel Maddow.
You're on the Ed Show all the time.
You go on with Joy Behar on CNN, right?
Yes, but she's been canceled.
Oh, that's right.
That show is off.
I don't turn on headline news.
No, you can't because Nancy Grace is completely unsettling.
She actually makes you feel more upset about the world as she's reporting it.
And there's two people that have committed suicide when they were like on her show and then went off to commit suicide.
No case.
I'm not saying because she demonized them, but she demonized them to a point where I think they were probably unstable to begin with because it's not like she has guests who are completely together.
You know, she's trying to, it's horrible.
She was the only person in news who was willing to investigate the Whitney Houston murder.
She did.
She did say that she.
Well, it's like, that's all crazy and she's not talking like prepares.
She said, someone said, well, how can you say that she was suspect that she was murdered?
There's no evidence that she was.
And she goes, there's no evidence that she wasn't murdered.
Yeah.
I know.
There's no evidence that any of us weren't murdered.
And it's just very suspicious when a known drug addict dies alone in their bathroom.
With drugs in their system.
Yeah.
In Hollywood.
In alcohol.
Yeah.
In a hotel room.
In a hotel at Hollywood show.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wow.
Did you see Anderson?
Speaking of you can't watch CNN.
Did you see Anderson Cooper kick off?
You know, he has that daytime talk show.
Yeah.
So he had a lady on who.
The real Barbie doll.
Oh, yeah.
So you know about this story, right?
You know, here's the deal.
What was the before Anderson Cooper had to throw the real Barbie off his show?
What qualities was she showing to producers and Anderson Cooper that she warranted a television interview?
It just reeks back to the whole 90s talk show.
Bullshit.
Can we swear on your show?
Sure.
Bullshit.
That it's like, it feels like, did you go on a time machine and go back to the whole, hey, I do a serious news show.
So when I have the freaks on who were attacked and mauled by their pet gorilla, it somehow has more heft.
And it's like, it's all bullshit.
He really thought that she was Madeline Albright.
And he was clearly surprised.
Oh, wait a minute.
You have configured your body to look like a Barbie doll and you're going to give your daughter Botox.
There's a shocker.
And he's a shocker.
Yeah.
And he said that what was the exact verbiage he used something about, I'm sorry, but you disgust me or something.
Yeah, he said you disgusted me.
You called her up and invited her to come on the show.
So let's say she does disgust you.
So don't you wait for a commercial break and you go, hey, thanks for coming on.
And that was it and goodbye.
You can't invite someone on your show and then tell them you disgust them.
Unless, which is my theory, he invited her on the show.
To Do that.
To do that.
Why else would you have her on to talk about fracking?
Are you high?
Like, honestly?
So that daytime talk show, which is an hour-long daytime talk show that, as you know, having worked in TV, is enormously time-consuming to do a show like that.
That's what he does instead of preparing for his CNN interviews.
You know, instead of doing any reporting.
So when you watch him on CNN, he has one talking point that he'll go through with his interviewers, and that's it.
He's completely unprepared.
No one notices it because they all are.
Yeah, there's the bar is very low for cable, especially over there.
Well, you know, and not to mention the part that's that kind of bothers me is if he had started out in this just period realm, he would never have be on CNN.
It doesn't legitimize you to be a scumbag in the day just because you're on CNN at night.
You know, when we were launching Air America Radio, they desperately wanted Jerry Springer on the network.
They're like, he's a liberal.
And I said, I don't care if he's a liberal.
He makes his millions humiliating people who are underrepresented.
And then he says he's a liberal when he's mocking them.
And he knows that he's mocking them.
And he knows that the audience watching them feels superior to them.
To me, that is not being a liberal or progressive.
That's being gross.
Right.
And so as we moved on and I got fired, they replaced my show that I hosted with Rachel Maddow and Chuck T with Jerry Springer.
Nobody.
When I left.
Yeah.
And I never thought in my career, there's many things I thought could happen in my career.
The one thing I never thought could happen in my career is that Jerry Springer would ever take my job for any reason.
That is wild to think.
Wow, being replaced.
Also, it just occurred to me that if they had, because they wanted, didn't they want Jerry Springer to be on your show?
Yeah, they wanted Jerry Springer.
If they had hired him, there would be no Rachel Maddow now.
That's right.
And that's even weirder to think about.
Because Rachel Maddow was the person that Liz hired instead of Jerry Springer.
Oh, well, fingers crossed that Rachel would have broke through somehow.
Well, you know, yes, in any startup, you know, when you, when you are charged with staffing anything, whether it's a TV show or a radio network or whatever, you just are inundated with submissions.
And stacks and stacks of super talented people probably just fall through the cracks.
And then they just keep going to the same well over and over again.
And Rachel, before I was hired on, Rachel had heard there was going to be a progressive network and sent a demo reel that went into the ether.
Nobody called her back.
Nobody paid attention.
And the only reason I found out about Rachel was because one of my dear friends moved out of Manhattan to this small town in Western Massachusetts and met Rachel and was friends with her.
And my friend Paul, when he found out I took this job at Air America, called me up like 500 other people and said, I've got a friend who's really talented and she has a radio show.
And I was like, I wanted to blow my brains out.
Another talented friend is going to be coming across the path.
And it was Rachel.
And so that's pretty amazing.
And so you noticed she had talent right away.
Her demo reel was so spectacular.
She was just smart and engaging and was of humor.
And everything about her was awesome.
And so she came down immediately after we heard the demo and was, we just talked about everything from rescue dogs to booze.
In fact, after we had this interview with her, I had this crazy dog and I didn't know that I would be working basically every hour of every day.
And I had just rescued a dog and I was like, I'm going to get this Eddie.
And I didn't know how I was going to get Eddie in the building.
And so Mada orders on the internet.
I do have narcolepsy.
This is true.
So she orders off the internet all these like help dog patches and please don't pet me.
I'm a help dog.
And so she says, put these on a dog vest and say it's your narcolepsy help dog.
And they legally can't deny you in the building, except for when it's Eddie, who is like the least obedient, obviously, helping no one do anything, dog, ever.
Obviously not a working dog.
No.
No, networking it at annoying everyone around him, pretty much.
But yeah, so that was, but it was funny.
Yeah, we talked about recipes and booze and music.
But did you try that, though?
Did you try that?
Bring the dog in with the thing?
I did.
And it worked on the weekend once.
That was it.
That was it.
Yeah.
I know.
Because I want to, I got to, I have a little dog.
Oh, that's not going to work with your dog.
It doesn't work with mutts.
And Eddie was kind of weird looking.
He had like 14-inch legs and then a chihuahua body and a black head.
Eddie was beautiful.
Eddie was beautiful.
He was very soulful.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
So you're a dog person then?
Oh, my God.
I would be the Mia Pharaoh with dogs if I could.
But I live in Brooklyn and I have two, and they're quite problematic.
As anybody knows, if you've ever rescued an animal, you spend $75 on the animal and $7,000 in medical bills.
And that's pretty much what I've done.
And some of it of just because I got freaky dogs and some of it is because friends give you horrible advice.
What would that be?
Well, let's just tell you one story.
We all know Dana Gould.
Are we all familiar?
Yes, we are.
Fantastic, Dana Gould.
Yes, we are.
He's a dog person, too.
Dana, massive dog person.
So we're out for dinner in New York.
He's visiting and we had corn on the cob.
And he goes, hey, you know, coin cops are great for dogs.
Really?
I don't think that's true.
And he goes, no, I give it to our dog all the time.
It's totally cool.
And I was like, I have, in fact, I kind of feel like I've heard the opposite.
He goes, I, no, just here.
Let's give the dog the cob.
Oh, what do you think happens?
Well, if you want to hear the rest of that story, you listen to Comedy and Everything Else, which will be dropping this weekend with our full interview with Liz Winstead.
Okay, so thanks for listening.
That's our show.
Thanks to our guest, Liz Winstead, with her new book, Liz Free or Die.
There'll be a link for that book up at the website.
And thanks to everybody who helped write the show.
Mike McRae, Frank Conniff, Steve Rosenfield, Robert Yasimura, Steph Zamarano.
Okay, and okay, all the voices this week done by Mike McRae, Mr. Hilarious, the Inimitable.
And what if there's, oh, I wanted to remind, I always, I forgot last week to thank the two fellas who donate their time to the show.
Frank Pulaski, who does our videos, hilarious videos.
He puts them together from Dreamtime Films.
It's Frank Pulaski, Anita video editor.
He's your guy.
And, oh, boy, I got to tell you, Sean James takes care of all of our computer needs, right?
You have a problem with your computer.
Do you have a problem?
The guy can fix your computer right over the internet.
I guess other people, I tell them, I'm so amazed at this.
And other people are like, yeah, oh, yeah, they just do the screen sharing and they fix.
Yeah, I had no idea.
Anyway, Sean James is, he's saved my ass several times already with his expertise.
Said, now, if you need some help on your Macintosh, you can reach him at MacHelp at SeanJames.com.
And it's spelled Sean S-H-A-U-N, SeanJames.com.
Okay, that's our show.
Thanks for listening.
Thanks for helping support the show.
And thanks for looking for our new show on the Young Turks.
I'll put links up when all those stuff is available.
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