Before we get to this week's show, I want to let everybody know who's in the Claremont, California area.
Then I'm going to be out there with Paul Morrissey and Steph doing standing up comedy this Friday and Saturday, March 30th and 31st.
There's links at jimmydoorcomedy.com, Claremont, California.
If you want to get a two-for-one, when you go to pay for your tickets, when you get there, you just mention Jimmy D and you get two for one.
But you have to make reservations first, and you can do that by clicking on the link for this weekend's show over at jimmydoorcomedy.com.
Okay, we'll see you this weekend.
I've been reading some of the accounts of this week's Supreme Court arguments on President Obama's health care law.
Some are saying it looks like only Chief Justice John Roberts' vote can save the individual mandate.
But let's say they kill the whole law because I don't know, Obama hates liberty.
And then because of that ruling, health insurance becomes even more expensive.
What's the worst that can happen?
Millions of people will eventually get sick and die.
But let's remember, many of the folks will be people we don't even know.
Might as well be from a tornado, a bridge collapse, or some string cheese.
And if somebody we do know gets sick and doesn't have health insurance, they can always go on Facebook and appeal to their Facebook friends to send them money.
That's another great thing about Facebook.
All the people we know who can't pay their medical bills can get some money from their friends who still have jobs.
By the way, this is another incentive to keep building up your Facebook friend pool as much as possible, even if most of those people are filler.
So while it may not seem fair that five Supreme Court justices whose health care is assured for the rest of their lives can cancel out our chances of getting it, let's remember this: nothing has ever stopped any one of us from becoming Supreme Court justices.
Oh, my God.
It's the Jimmy Door Show.
The show for people that are comments, maybe on Tearing Downer Nation.
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper say...
It's hard to talk when you keep dying.
And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's Jimmy Golem.
Hi, everybody.
Welcome to this week's episode.
I'm joined in studio to my left from the Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast, chosen one of the top 10 podcasts in the whole wide world by The Onion.
It's Paul Gilmartin.
Hi, Paul.
Hi, Jimmy.
Good to see you, buddy.
Good to see you.
Next to him, a hilarious comedian from Team Yasamura.
It's Robert Yasamura.
Hey, Robert.
How are you?
Good to see you.
And next to him, from cinematictitanic.com and Mystery Science Theater 3000.
It's Frank Conniff.
Hi, Frank.
Hey, Jimmy.
How are you?
I'm good.
Okay, you're going to have to talk closer to that microphone.
Okay.
Oh, there you go.
There you go.
Now we're talking.
My back is killing me from talking into this mic.
I know.
And next to him, hilarious comedian, former writer for The Daily Show.
It's Steve Rosenfield.
Hey, Steve.
Hey, Jimmy.
Oh, look at that.
Right into the microphone.
Hey, Jimmy.
Is this close enough?
You got it, buddy.
You got it.
Okay, let's start off today.
Today's going to be very heavy on the Trayvon Martin case because we didn't really cover it so far, and I guess we have to.
I'm going to cover the way people have been covering it.
But before that, Teraldo actually made a hoodie remark, right?
He said that if you're wearing a hoodie, you're kind of responsible for people chasing you and killing you.
That's what he said.
And I got to say, Geraldo's hoodie remark was the stupidest, most racist thing said on Fox News since yesterday.
It's got to be.
Geraldo Rivera will be happy to know that Trayvon Martin's hoodie has been arrested and brought in and brought in for questioning.
Okay.
And now Geraldo Vera is saying that President Lincoln was shot because of the stovepipe hat.
There's a lot to that.
There's a lot to that.
Okay.
Doctors, you know, Dick Cheney got a heart transplant, and the doctors are saying the operation was complicated by the huge buildups of karma in his bloodstream.
Did his old heart have any mileage on it?
I got to say, I would like to see what the blue book on that baby is.
The Supreme Court of the United States is right now trying to decide if the health care mandate is something that is unambiguously legal and constitutional, you know, like torture.
The mandate, this mandate case, has left the Supreme Court justices feeling very stressed out.
And thank God they have access to excellent health care to take care of it, right?
And by the way, the NRA is refusing to budge on the guns laws, even after the Trayvon case.
But they now are agreeing to insist on a 30-day waiting period for any purchases of Skittles.
So that's good.
Okay, that's so what's coming up?
We're going to talk about Trayvon.
We're going to talk about some religious intolerance.
We also have Bernie Goldberg.
I don't know if you know who Bernie Goldberg is.
Yes, big fan of Bernie Goldberg.
We'll talk about him.
Plus, we got phone calls today from Herman Kane calls in.
We have Bill O'Reilly calls in to defend himself.
And Tuesdays with more on his back today.
That's today on the Jimmy Dore Show.
Jimmy Dore Show.
Time for another installment of Oh My God.
Okay, in today's Oh My God segment, we have two.
I got two clips in today's Oh My God segment.
Very quickly, there was a lady, I'm not sure where this is.
I think in Michigan, maybe it wasn't.
But it doesn't hurt the joke.
The point of this is there was a woman who won a million dollars over a million dollars in the lottery.
She's still receiving her welfare checks.
She was on welfare, white woman receiving welfare, played the lottery, I'm guessing with a little welfare money.
And she hit it big.
She won it, and she's still receiving her welfare money.
So a reporter went out to ask her, hey, what's up with that?
Why are you doing that?
And this is what she had to say.
Well, I thought that they would cut me off, but since they didn't, I thought maybe it was okay because I'm not working.
She's not working.
She only has a million dollars, but she's still not working.
She doesn't have that, you know, she's not making $350 down at the blockbuster.
Okay, here we go.
Won more than a million dollars.
No, I want a million, but after I took the lump sum, it dropped out.
Of course, she took the lump sum because you wouldn't want to stretch a million dollars out over 20 years.
You'd want to get half of it right now.
That's what you want to do.
Okay.
Down to $700,000.
And then after taxes, it was just a little bit over half.
So she has just a little bit under a half a million dollars.
Taxpayers are really struggling that really need that money.
Do you really think you have a right to that money?
I mean, I kind of do.
I mean, I have no income and I have bills to pay.
I have two houses.
Wow.
Wow.
Employers are chomping at the bit to get her on payroll.
Is the lottery supposed to go towards education?
Evidently, it's not.
She has no income.
She has no income.
You have a half million dollars in income, you idiot.
And she owns two houses.
Okay.
That story about her, about this woman Winning the lottery was on a show called There Is No God.
So, okay, so that was our fun one for today.
And we have another one.
Now, okay, so now I have a clip again in the Oh My God segment.
I have a clip of a pastor, and I don't know what this guy's name is.
Again, not important for the joke.
Okay, so this guy's speaking.
He's getting it going.
Now, Rick Santorum is sitting on stage next to this guy.
And this guy, he's got a reason.
It's very rare that these right-wingers have a true message of Jesus.
And well, here we have it.
Thank God, right?
But it turns out a little weird.
Here we go.
I don't care what liberals say.
I don't care what the naysayers say.
This nation was founded as a Christian nation.
The God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob.
There's only one God.
There's only one God.
And his name is Jesus.
I'm tired of people telling me that I can't say those words.
I'm tired of people telling us as Christians that we can't voice our beliefs or we can't no longer pray in public.
Yeah, you know, you know how people keep trying to shut up the Christians.
You know how the Christians, you know how the Christians can't catch a break in America.
When are the Christians going to be able to pray?
When is that going to happen?
Well, they get to have churches and things.
Oh, okay.
I guess when will they get tax relief or anything?
Yeah.
Or anything.
Okay.
Because they're so oppressed.
There's more.
Okay, there's more.
Listen to me.
You know, I think you can pray in public.
In fact, I'm pretty sure you're praying in public right now.
I'm pretty sure.
And so go ahead, go ahead and try it.
Do a little prayer, and I bet nobody's going to stop you.
Okay.
Okay.
If you don't love America and you don't like the way we do things, I got one thing to say.
Work to make it better?
Try to change America and make it better.
Jimmy, I don't know.
I have the feeling it's going to have to do with luggage.
Okay, here we go.
Get out!
The other shoe falls.
Okay, here.
Let's listen.
Let's back it up and get a real full head of Steve on this one.
Listen to me.
If you don't love America and you don't like the way we do things, I got one thing to say.
Get out!
One thing to say.
They're out!
We don't worship Buddha!
I said we don't worship Buddha, we don't worship Mohammed.
We don't worship Allah!
We worship God!
We worship God's son, Jesus Christ!
They worship God, and you know it's God because he's named God.
That's how you know.
He calls him God.
Like, oh, well, then that's God then.
I'm glad his all-inclusive message is great.
Yes, yes.
You know, if you close your eyes, you'd swear it was Jesus Christ himself.
I'm more offended by what a stereotype this guy is.
That's the most offensive part.
It's like, really?
Right down to the accent, right down to the hating the is he wearing a short like that guy, too?
Yeah, if you see how he's actually looks like that, that kind of guy.
And so, uh, Rick Santorum is sitting on the stage with him as he's saying this.
So, Rick Santorum is sitting off.
Are you kidding me?
Yes, there's a little bit more to this.
There's actually a little bit more to this.
I know is Rick Santorum working the tremolo box that operates that guy's voice.
Wow, tremolo box.
Nice pull, Paul.
But I think what Rick Santorum's doing by being seen with this guy, it's his part of his master plan to become the Republican, to go to the Republican convention with enough delegates to play around a golf with.
That's what he's trying to say.
That's what he's trying to do.
Okay, so there's a little bit more to what this guy has to say.
We worship God's son, Jesus Christ.
If we'll put God back in America, put God back in our pulpits, putting God back in our homes.
You know, like in the 40s and 50s when we had segregation and we put the Japanese, you know, but maybe if we have God, we could bring back those days is what he's trying to say.
Let's bring back Reagan, a president who never went to church.
I get the feeling this guy masturbates to his outgoing messages in our saint house and then in Washington, D.C., then we can have revival in America.
Okay, so there you go.
Rick Santorum stands up for the embattled Christians of this country against the rising tide of the Buddhists.
Is there a film of Rick Santorum's face as this is happening?
He's off to, no, you can only see him afterwards.
You see him stand.
Not only did Rick Santorum on stage, he stands up, gives the guy a standing ovation afterwards, a standing ovation afterwards.
Because what this guy was spouting was basically treasonous.
Yeah, I agree.
It was so un-American.
It's anti-constitutional.
Yes.
It's not like we're not a theocracy and we're all about religious.
That's the whole point of this country.
And see, apparently, the way Christianity works, it's like they're a good cop, bad cop, where Jesus is the good cop, and then everybody else who speaks for him is the bad cop.
I guess that's how it works.
And by the way, Rick Santorum is a Catholic.
50 years ago, these two people would have been enemies.
They would be huge enemies.
Catholics were much despised by the Protestant and by the mainstream Protestants.
That's why Jack Kennedy had such a hard time, and he had to talk about his faith to America before he would get the okay.
Yes.
He had to make Rick Santorum throw up and become president.
Yes.
And, you know, isn't this what makes America great, right?
It's that everybody in America has the opportunity to get the hell out of it if they don't like what's going on inside of it.
And also, his message is: if you don't like our country, leave, and so you'll probably be pissed and become an enemy of America.
You know, we need more enemies.
Like I think Barry Crimmons had a joke.
Somebody said, you don't like America, leave.
And he said, what?
become a victim of our foreign policy.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
This has been, oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Now we'll move on.
We're going to talk about the Trayvon.
Now, I was watching, actually, my wife was watching the Bill O'Reilly show because I'm done with that stuff.
She was watching.
She said, you got to see this.
So Bill O'Reilly was talking about the Trayvon Martin case, and he brought on Bernie Goldberg.
Now, if you don't know who Bernie Goldberg is, he's the same hard-nosed reporter who wrote the book 100 People That Are Screwing Up America, which oddly enough didn't include anyone responsible for the illegal trillion-dollar war in Iraq or any of the war criminals that ordered torture to be committed under our name.
Not even one Wall Street banker was in that book.
But George Clooney was.
But it did include Barbara Streisand, George Clooney, and Bowser from Shannon.
What?
What?
I'm making up the Bowser part.
So he's got a good music.
I agree with the Bowser.
That's the only one I was with him on.
So he's got a good nose for the facts and an Instinct for what's important.
And even though he's about to say some of the worst forms of race baiting and smearing anywhere on television, first he wants to take a little time out to let you know that him and Bill O'Reilly are some pretty decent fellows.
Here we go.
Well, first, let me say, Bill, I want to affirm what you've said several times, that all decent people should want justice in this case.
And if there's a crime that's been committed, the criminal should be punished.
I want to make that very clear, very clear at the outset.
Yes, I want to, before I say this horrible stuff that's coming, I want it to be very clear that I'm a great guy, and so are you, Bill.
We're really decent human beings.
And whenever you start off like that on Fox News, there is a Kim Kardashian-sized butt coming your way, ladies and gentlemen.
But the hypocrisy and the sanctimony of the national press and the civil rights establishment is appalling.
Yes, okay.
First off, a black kid is stalked and gunned down.
The killer is known but not arrested to this day.
And the thing Bernie Goldberg is appalled at is the media and the civil rights organizations publicizing it.
Okay, got it.
Nor does he find time to be appalled at the insanity of the stand your ground laws or the demonstrable dangers of Florida's concealed carry laws and how a guy like George Zimmerman, who was obviously a lunatic, can get a perfectly legal firearm.
You know, all the stuff that made this moment possible, if not inevitable?
No, he's upset at the hypocrisy and sanctimony of the civil rights organization.
This from the same network that blows a nut every December over the war on Christmas.
Okay, I got it.
He's tired of all the hypocrisy and sanctimony.
Bernie Goldberg, have you met you?
Okay, so he's got some more to say.
If Trayvon Martin was shot and killed by another black teenager, President Obama wouldn't have weighed in.
Al Sharpton wouldn't be holding rallies.
The media would not be running this on television for hours and hours on end.
And except for his family and friends, we wouldn't even know the name Trayvon Martin.
Yes.
Yes, he's making the point.
Yes, he's making the point exactly right.
Which is that we don't arrest white people when they shoot black people because we assume the white person was right.
What an idiot.
It gets worse, Paul.
The reason this is a story, and I'm glad that it is.
So now he, I don't know how he gets away with saying that.
He's upset that this has become a story because it's been publicized by the media and the civil rights organizations, but at the same time, he's glad it has become a story.
You can't do that.
You're talking out of both sides of your mouth.
He just did it.
While you're being indignant.
Okay, here we go.
Is because Trayvon Martin is black and the person who shot him is white.
Yes.
That's the whole thing.
Yes.
That's the whole thing, Bernie, that you're missing.
If a white guy had been arrested for shooting him, it wouldn't be a case.
It wouldn't be a national thing.
It's because they didn't arrest the guy.
Yes.
And they don't even mention that.
Exactly.
The reason why this is a case, why people are marching, it's not because a kid got shot by somebody or even got shot by a white guy.
It's because when a black kid got shot by a white guy, the white police department didn't arrest the white guy that they knew shot the guy.
That's why.
So, okay, that's the problem here.
And was told not to follow the kid, but followed the kid anyway.
And shot him.
Yes.
And has a history of violence.
And has unstable behavior.
Yes.
When you stand your ground in Florida, it covers a lot of ground.
You can stand your ground in one place and keep walking and stand your ground all over the place.
Well, Paul, you say, what do you say?
How do you say it?
You say you can't stand your ground while you're covering.
I'm not sure.
Yes.
Okay.
He has more for Bernie Goldberg.
If the person who shot him were black, the media would ignore this story the way it ignores almost every other story involving black on black crime.
And there's a reason for that.
First of all, you mean the exact same way the Fox News doesn't cover those stories?
You mean those stories that are those stories that aren't.
First of all, they are covered on a local level, A, and B, it doesn't, right.
It has to be exceptional to rise to the level of a national importance.
Okay.
The reason is that liberals in the media like to show their good racial manners.
They don't want to shine a spotlight on dysfunctional behavior in some black neighborhoods.
And that's also how the civil rights establishment wants it because they don't want to air dirty laundry in front of a national media, in front of the whole nation, rather.
Yes.
So again, just because, Bernie, you missed the biggest and most important part of the story, the fact that the shooter wasn't arrested and still hasn't been arrested, that doesn't mean you shouldn't be pointing a finger of condemnation or stop being indignant over fabricated outrages, right?
Is that what that means?
No.
That just hurts my head, that kind of thing.
That's right.
We've never seen something on gang violence on the news.
Never.
They never cover gang violence.
You're right, Paul.
Very good.
Oh, and by the way, does Bernie Goldberg prior to this have a long history of screaming like, why aren't we talking about this?
It's a scourge of violence in our inner cities.
I'm guessing not.
is one of the many Bernie Goldberg variations.
Okay, he's got he's got I'm not kidding.
I don't know if I can watch it now.
This guy is so hateful.
He's horrible.
I know it's hard.
It's hard to watch.
I know.
Here we go.
Now, let me give you just one example, Bill, very quickly to make my point.
He's going to make his point.
You ready?
Here's an example and make his point.
I bet you virtually everybody watching us never heard the name Delrick Wayman Miller.
Delrick Wayman Miller was a nine-month-old black baby sound asleep on the couch at his house in Detroit when in the early morning hours, just a few weeks ago, someone opened fire with an AK-47 and shot into the house 37 times.
One of the bullets hit and killed the little baby.
President Obama didn't weigh in on that.
Al Sharpton didn't stir up the nation on that.
The national media didn't fall in love with that story.
Why not?
Okay, the reason President Obama didn't comment on that, my little brain-damaged Colombo, is because the police didn't let the guy go who killed that kid.
That's why it didn't do it.
It was considered a crime.
It was considered a crime.
And they're still, if they haven't arrested that guy who shot him, they're looking for him.
Why is the person he's talking to not saying this?
Because it's Bill O'Reilly.
Because the person he's talking to is Bill O'Reilly.
And here's what I say about this, Paul.
Perfect.
Perfect.
That's exactly what I'm talking about.
So Bernie Goldberg wrote a column stating all these opinions, right?
It got published that morning.
Bill O'Reilly read it, said, we're going to have Bernie on to talk about this.
What did he publish?
So in between, I guess at his website, so in between when he rolloftoiletpaper.com.
So in between when he wrote this and when he goes on Bill O'Reilly that night, don't you think somebody somewhere said to him, hey, no, no, no, you're missing the point, Bernie.
It's because this guy hasn't been arrested.
That's the problem.
Of course, people told him that.
Of course, dozens of people made that point to him.
He just wants to ignore it.
You don't think anybody said that to him?
You don't think anybody At his website, did it in the comment section?
Hey, the real reason everybody's upset about this, Bernie, is because of what we just said, because it shows that they didn't arrest the white guy.
My guess is if you go to the Bernie Goldberg website and you're a fan, you're just going to agree with him in the comment section.
I'm sure even somebody over there would point that.
You know what I mean?
Like, you could.
You'd think his wife would just say, like, hey, Bernie.
Yeah.
She's too busy being sick that she has to fuck him.
You know, even Geraldo's son said he was embarrassed and ashamed of what Geraldo said.
So you know somebody told Bernie.
He's only ashamed and embarrassed now about Geraldo.
Well, he's just old enough now.
He finally became of age.
He could be embarrassed.
Yes, so if you close your eyes, Bernie Goldberg sounds just like the police chief in Sanders, Florida, does he not?
Okay, Sanford.
I'm sorry, Sanford.
You know, I half expected Bill O'Reilly to chime in what, but to be fair, Bernie, the little black baby was one of the babies that got adjustable rate loans they couldn't afford.
Okay, so here, and so he has another reason why they're getting, he already said why the news media doesn't cover those black crimes, but here's his idea of why this is getting all the way.
The only thing I could think of, Bill.
Of why this is getting all the attention.
This is the only thing he could think of.
Is why they made one story into a national story and the other they ignored is because in one case, the shooter had light skin, and in the other case, the shooter had dark skirts.
And they didn't arrest the guy.
He keeps on purpose.
They didn't arrest the guy with light skin in a nation that has a history of prejudice of white-skinned people against black-skinned people.
Right.
That's why it's a big deal, Bernie.
I mean, he keeps it.
A teenager got shot by a person carrying a concealed firearm under mysterious circumstances.
That person has not been arrested under in any way.
They still have their guns.
Black or white, that is a messed up set of circumstances.
The fact that this kid is black is most likely the reason for it.
And that is why the civil rights community is up in arms.
And by the way, because that's their job.
They are civil rights activists.
That's their mandate.
It's in their title.
But in the way Fox looks at the world, their whole thing is, hey, civil rights movement, get over it.
We solved all those problems a long time ago.
Now you're just making a lot of noise for your own glory.
And actually, they did a poll, and people who watch Fox News actually think that the main problem of race in this country, and this is true, they think that it's black racism towards white people.
Yes, reverse racism.
And it's not surprising that you think that because Fox News hammers on that.
Even before this case, they hollered on that all the time.
Imagine how upset Bernie Goldberg would be if somebody shot John Birch and then the shooter wasn't arrested.
Bill O'Reilly and Bernie Goldberg should teach a master class in missing the point.
But he actually called in to defend himself, Bill O'Reilly.
Jimmy Dore, it's Bill O'Reilly.
Hey, I've been listening to what you and your pinhead friends have been saying about the Trayvon Martin case.
And I have to say, there's absolutely no substance to your argument.
It's like you've ended this discussion completely unarmed with only an iced tea and a bag of Skittles to back you up while me and my pal Bernie Goldberg are coming in, gon' blaze and chasing you and your lousy Reasoning down and shooting you in the gut.
Hey, that's a pretty good metaphor.
I don't know how I came up with it.
You can see why I'm such a successful author.
Anyway, I'm standing my ground on the stand.
Your ground wall.
It's one of the best laws ever passed.
It protects defenseless Americans with nothing to protect them but a fully loaded gun from innocuous black teenagers who rampage into our communities with nothing on their minds but buying things at convenience stores.
But if you and your progressive pinhead pals had your way, a black kid in a hoodie would be entitled to any item in any store just because he paid for them.
What kind of a jungle would we be living in if we allowed that to happen?
Yeah, you're right.
I said jungle.
Jimmy Ray shouldn't even be a part of this discussion.
As my good friend Bernie Goldberg said, if this had been a black guy shooting a black guy, no one would have thought anything of it because the black guy doing the shooting would have been arrested and or killed.
Actually, Bernie didn't mention that last part because he doesn't believe in race baiting.
And by that, I mean he doesn't believe in mentioning race when it's pertinent to a news story.
That's just the kind of stand-up guy Bernie is.
And by the way, Jimmy, I've never advocated violence against black people.
The only person I ever encouraged my listeners to go kill was abortion doctor George Tiller.
So when it comes to stirring up hate crimes, I am completely colorblind.
Look, Jimmy, just because a disproportionate number of black people are arrested, there's no reason to think that a disproportionate number of black people are arrested.
The numbers just don't add up unless you add up the numbers.
Boy, sometimes I'm so blind that's scary.
You wouldn't want to run into my big opposing brain on a dark night in a gated community.
I'll tell you that much.
Well, Jimmy, I gotta go.
Bernie Goldberg and I are doing a segment on why everyone refers to Motown Records as a black record label, even though all the music that was made there was black music.
Really?
Come on.
Why bring race into it?
As Bernie points out, calling Motown music black music is just another example of racism towards white people.
So long, Jagoff.
Okay, that was Bill O'Reilly, and this is the Jimmy Door show on Pacifica.
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You know what's coming up in the second half?
Herman Kane calls in.
Tuesdays with Moron is coming up in the second half.
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Enjoy.
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Thank you.
Bye.
Okay, welcome back to the Jimmy Door Show.
I got a full crew joining studio from the Mental Hells Happy Hour podcast, Paul Gilmartin from Team Yasamura.
It's Robert Yasimura from Mystery Science Theater 3000 and CinematicTitanic.com.
It's Frank Coniff.
And from former Frederick for the Daily Show, it's Steve Rosenfield is with me.
We got a lot coming up on the second half of the show.
We're going to finish.
We've been talking about the Bill O'Reilly's breakdown of the Trayvon Martin case.
It's fantastic.
Also, coming up, we're going to talk about an old friend of George Zimmerman, the shooter in the Trayvon Martin case.
Joe Oliver sat down with ABC News to let us figure out that he actually doesn't know George Zimmerman.
We're going to figure that part out.
We also got some tape of the 911 call enhanced by CNN so you can hear the racist slur.
Plus a little bit on the, we're going to have a little bit on the healthcare Supreme Court decision, which is happening right now.
And we also have phone calls coming in from Herman Kane calls in and Tuesdays with Moron coming up.
But right now, let's talk about the, so let's just finish up with Bill O'Reilly.
Here's Bill O'Reilly's contribution to this Bernie Goldberg BS completely missing the point about the Trayvon Martin case.
Here they are.
They're making the case that why are liberals making a big deal out of this?
Only because it was a white shooter.
If it was a black shooter, nobody gives a care.
And so the point.
Once you realize that they approach everything not in terms of what is the truth of the matter, they approach it from how can we make white America look like a victim.
Well, it's just amazing to me that this case turned.
I have no idea that this would turn into a left-right issue.
I really like, I guess that's me being naive or something.
But like, oh, when all of a sudden I noticed there were some comedians on Facebook defending George Zimmerman.
Oh, really?
And I was like, yeah, I was like, are you kidding me?
That there's actually another side to this story that you guys are going to take.
And then all of a sudden it started happening.
And I was like, oh, my God, they're turning this into a left-right issue.
A kid got shot.
Right.
Well, Michelle Malkin, who always does lovely things, she published a photo of Trayvon Martin that she said was another photo of him.
And he was like with his pants down and his underwear showing and looking like a thug.
Looking like a thug, and it wasn't a picture of him.
Even if it was, who cares?
It wasn't a picture of him.
And then Tucker Carlson, another stellar person, his website, The Daily Caller, published Trayvon Martin's tweets, you know, to give you an idea of, you know, oh, maybe he's not the great kid that's.
Yeah, this kid was kind of a jerk who had no gun on him and who got shot.
Yes, right.
Right.
This kid who's walking home with scales in it.
He was, you know, it's not that big of a tragedy that we lost him.
And maybe this guy shouldn't be.
Yeah, maybe, maybe he deserved to be shot.
I know.
So is that what you're saying?
That's an across-the-board thing.
So if you dress a certain way, you're asking for it.
That goes for women, too.
If you dress a certain way, you're asking to get raped.
20 years ago, Florida found a guy not guilty of rape because the woman he raped wasn't wearing underwear.
Yes, I remember that case.
And yes, Florida, you do not disappoint.
So how is this not the exact same thing when Geraldo says that thing about the hoodie or they post his tweets or the fact that he was, they go, oh, the latest thing is that he was suspended from high school.
You ready for this?
Because he had pot on him.
He didn't even have pot.
He had a baggie.
A baggie that smelled of pot.
Because it's all about them building their case that white America is a victim.
It's every single thing they do.
That is their disappearandi.
My biggest disappointment is that Trayvon didn't live long enough to not be able to vote in Florida.
You know, it's amazing, right?
So they're trying to make a big deal out of him because he smoked pot.
Hey, the president has admitted to snorting Coke, okay?
Newt Gingrich has admitted to smoking.
I mean, is there a Republican who hasn't admitted to smoking pot?
By the way, I've never seen someone who's been smoking pot attack someone while the only thing that kid was attacking was his Skittles.
Yeah, he was.
All right, so I got to get to this clip.
Here's what we're going to end with Bill O'Reilly.
And this is what here's the only contribution Bill O'Reilly has to this whole segment.
Last week, we did a story on the South Side of Chicago where there were 49 shootings over the St. Patrick's Day weekend.
49.
All right.
Resulting in, I think, 14 or 15 dead, including a six-year-old girl whose face we did put up on the screen.
And it was black on black crime.
It was generated by gang activity.
But the civil rights people will tell you.
Yeah, sharpens of the world.
We'll tell you.
I've had enough times on the factor to know this.
First of all, I don't think you should be saying the civil rights people.
Like, aren't we all civil rights people?
Those people.
Yeah, those people who are for civil rights.
Are we all those people, right?
I'm pretty sure without civil rights, an Irish Catholic and a Jew probably don't get to have a nationally broadcast coffee clutch.
Am I right?
Party community, 13% of the American population, the black community, has to be protected, has to be protected from people of different color.
And remember, Zimmerman is 50% Hispanic, okay?
Has to be protected from that from the majority who may be racially prejudiced against black people.
Right, exactly.
So that's why they do it.
Now, the civil rights people, their mandate isn't to protect African Americans from other African Americans.
That's not their definition.
So that's what they say.
Yeah.
Let me make sure.
Yeah, because the civil rights leaders, first of all, they do scream about black eye and black crime all the time.
But secondly, that's not what they're supposed to do.
That's not why they're invented.
Their wheelhouse is combating racism.
Okay.
So you're going to hear from them when there's an issue involving race.
It's as if when they talk, you know, they're talking about as if black leaders never address their communities and say, you know, you should avoid crime.
You should do well in school.
You shouldn't stick around.
Yeah, you shouldn't have violence with each other.
You know, they're talking as if that's never said.
They never say anything.
They just get all crazy when a white guy kills them.
They're just waiting around to just go off about.
And even like Jesse Jackson, you know, has had many messages of empowerment like that that he's given.
So what they're saying is: pay no attention to this.
What they're saying is ignore this because all this is phony outrage at civil rights people who just wait around for something like this.
They don't care that black kids are getting shot because black kids are getting shot all the time and no one's screaming about it.
The only reason they're screaming is when they can pin it on a white guy.
And that's the only thing they want to do is pin it on a white guy.
And that's what Bill O'Reilly is trying to say there.
You see how he had to tiptoe around not saying those words?
He had to say those words with other words.
So here is Joe Oliver.
Now, Joe, who was Joe Oliver?
He's the guy speaking up for Joe Zimmerman.
Very close friend of George Zimmer.
Very close friend of Joe Zimmerman's.
Or George Zimmerman's.
Joe Oliver, he claims he's as close.
So he's a former reporter and news anchor from Orlando, Florida.
This guy, his name is Joe Oliver.
So he went on and he's African-American.
He's going to step up right away and defend George Zimmerman.
And people are like, huh?
So here's what he had to say.
The reason why he was following this suspicious person that he saw was because that neighborhood has had a rash of break-ins.
But is that his job as the captain of the neighborhood watch?
First of all, I just want to say good work by that reporter by referring to him as the captain of the neighborhood watch, even though he's not.
He wasn't the captain of the neighborhood watch.
There was no neighborhood watch that he was associated with.
He was just a guy with a gun.
I don't know if they had ranks in the neighborhood watch.
He was the captain of the neighborhood watch.
No.
His neighborhood watched.
Yeah, the one he invented.
His own private neighborhood model.
Yeah, his own private.
Because there's a national organization of neighborhood watch.
You know that, right?
There actually is.
There is a national organization.
And if you want to be part of it, you have to follow these rules.
And some of the rules are: you don't ever carry a gun.
You don't follow ever, you don't ever follow someone.
So those are part of the rules.
Watch means watch.
You watch and then you call.
And then you call.
He's a splinter group.
Yes.
It's not neighborhood.
But go ahead, Steve.
It's not the neighborhood shoot program.
That was my point.
Yes, it's not the neighborhood shoot.
So, okay, so here's the, so just bad job off the bat from the ABC News reporter.
By the way, if you're going to have your own neighborhood watch program, wouldn't you make yourself the general?
Not just the captain?
Like, wouldn't you give yourself a better rank?
I would have.
In the early 90s, I was part of a neighborhood swatch program.
Okay.
Very nice.
A dispatcher says you don't need to follow him.
I don't know.
I've never been a neighborhood watch captain.
I do know that George had no intention of taking anybody's life.
He cried for days after that happened.
He's moved.
And you know he cried for days after that because you were hanging around with him?
No.
No, because this guy did.
Right.
You know how this guy knows George cried for days afterwards?
George's mother-in-law told this guy, and now this guy is coming on TV to speak as if he's an authority.
They've disconnected their phone numbers.
They're in hiding.
They're fearful.
They're fearful.
So now we know who to really feel sorry for here.
It's George Zimmerman.
Can I just point out one thing to him about George Zimmerman?
He's alive.
He's alive to cry for days.
He's alive to cry for Don't Maybe.
And you also don't know if his tears are over his situation now, knowing that he's going to have to watch his back the rest of his life.
The rest of his life, this guy's, yes, look out.
I'm sure of having their tears of joy of having achieved his lifelong ambition of shooting somebody in a manner that he could pull off as justified.
I think probably what happened is he shot this guy and he's genuinely sorry, but that still doesn't matter.
No, that doesn't matter.
No, no, it doesn't matter.
He was so upset that he knocked over his Bernhard Goetz shrine.
Bernie Goetz.
I haven't seen too many people who make Bernie Goetz look.
Bernie Goetz.
Let's move on.
So this guy, Joe Oliver, has some more to say.
And people who accused George of profiling, well, I would think that as a watch commander, you are keeping it.
Now he's a watch commander.
What is he?
The head of Hill Street Blues or something.
He's gotten a promotion in the last eight seconds.
He went for watch captain to watch commander.
And the news reporter doesn't correct him at any of this.
And that's why people don't like him is because he's upwardly mobile.
Keeping an eye out for people you don't recognize in your neighborhood.
But you look at his record.
I mean, he called 911 49 times in the last year.
So you've got to wonder how trained was that eye.
But I don't know how many calls he made where they weren't false alarms.
He doesn't know how many.
So he doesn't know anything.
He just knows, he doesn't know anything.
He doesn't know how many false alarms there were, how many.
Yeah, okay.
So again, there's more of this guy.
We all hear that moment of screaming on the 911 tape.
Would you hear that?
I hear George.
Okay, so now they have the screaming, right, that's been heard on the 911 tape.
Trayvon's mother has said that's her son.
That's my son screaming.
Now, now, you go, really?
How could you tell someone screaming?
Well, it's a kid 17 years old.
I'm sure her mother has heard him scream before.
Right?
And 17 years, you've heard your son scream, either in pain or in anger or in fear.
You've heard that kid scream.
Right.
So this guy says it's George Zimmerman's scream.
This guy who doesn't really even know George Zimmerman says it's George Zimmerman's scream.
He recognizes that.
I do hear George.
Yes.
Because Trayvon Martin's family has said they hear their teenager.
I'm sure they do.
At that point, either George or Trayvon was going to die.
And he says one of them were going to die.
What was Trayvon going to bludgeon him to death with a bag of Skittles?
Yes, he was going to try to give him a caffeine fix with the iced tea.
Which would have got his heart rate up.
And then he would have died.
I mean, it was either or.
It was either or.
By the way, I think the real tragedy here is I think Joe Oliver and George Zimmerman really could have been good friends because they sound like they're equally insane.
They're equally insane and evil.
Well, also, you know, last night I saw him, Joe Oliver interviewed on Lawrence O'Donnell.
And I didn't know this, but this guy, Joe Oliver, left his job to become the spokesman spokesperson for George Zimmerman.
And I think that Lawrence O'Donnell, I think it was on his mind, but he didn't ask.
I think it's like, you know, I mean, there's no proof, but I mean, somebody might be paying him to be going out.
He asked him.
He did.
He asked him and he denied it, but it still seems like really bizarre that this guy quit his job, doesn't really know him that well, but is out and has presented himself as a spokesman on his behalf.
And he's a black guy.
Yeah, he's taking on a case.
He's standing up for the racists.
This guy, right?
We have an audio tape.
Well, he's standing up for complete lack of reason or common sense.
Yes.
Yes.
That's exactly what he's doing.
And so, oh, by the way, he's not even, you know, we're not even saying you have to sentence George Zimmerman to life in prison.
We're just saying bring him in.
Arrest him.
Look at the case.
Yes, that's what we're saying.
So we have to move quickly, but just so you know, that Fox News used to have the Fox News hoodie for sale at their Fox News.
It's not available anymore.
Just so you guys know, not available anymore.
Oh, I would love to have one now.
Hey, you know, actually, Herman Kane, I got him on the phone the other day.
We talked a little while.
I missed Herman Kane.
Talking with Godfather CEO and former presidential candidate Herman Kane, friend of the show.
Herman, how are you, buddy?
I'm doing good.
How you doing, Jimmy?
What are you wearing?
Herman, cut it out.
What's your wife wearing right now?
Herman, come on.
I thought we left that in the past.
What's all your little nieces wearing?
They need a job.
Herman, what's that?
So what's up?
What's on your mind today?
I want to know why you're coming down so hard on George Zimmerman.
George, you mean he chased down and shot and killed the black kid?
That's what I'm saying.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
We don't know the entire story.
What do you mean?
He was a maniac vigilante with a history of violence and an itchy trigger finger, and he was told explicitly by the cop not to follow that kid.
He did it anyway and then killed him.
What else do you mean?
I don't know what happened.
What if Trayvon was flirting with a white woman?
What if he was flirting with a white woman?
You can't do that.
Herman, you know that's not illegal anymore, right?
Sure, technically it's legal, but we both know it ain't.
Look what happened to my black ass.
We all know that ain't legal.
Herman, are you going to blame it on the fact that you're black and those women were white?
And if you do it, they'll get you.
What do you mean?
And they don't have to wait for no cop either.
Who's they?
They can't flirting with a white woman.
You can be taken down by a Jewish Mexican from the pre-10 neighborhood watch.
That's how low down the pole is beat.
All right, Herman, I don't want to get into that.
Listen, what's with the new video that you just released with the girl placing a black bunny on a catapult?
And then some Stephen Colbert-looking guy shoots it with a shotgun.
Well, I have been out of the spotlight for a while, and I miss it.
So I thought, in light of the Trayvon Martin shooting, this would be the perfect time for me to release my video of a white guy shooting a black bunny.
And by the way, it's not a catapult.
It's a trebuchet.
Ain't you seen the Hundred Years War?
No, I never did.
So you don't care if this bunny video inflames racial tensions that are already reaching a boiling point?
No, I do not.
It only pisses off liberals and black folks.
Who cares about them?
I care about what the white guy with the money thinks.
Maybe after this video of a white guy shooting a black bunny, they will give me full membership in the White Guy Privilege Club.
And I'll be invited to Davos next year.
Okay, Herman, I don't see that.
Yeah, I don't see that happening, Herman.
Do you really think they're going to happen?
Yeah, I know.
That's my life mission.
Oh, man, I've been eating mayonnaise and listening to the Dave Matthews band.
Bullshit trying to fit in with these motherfuckers.
Herman, I didn't.
I'm just in a rush.
You ever heard that bullshit?
Yes, I have.
You've been listening to Rush.
You have to fit in with these people.
You mean Rush the talk?
Rush the band.
No, I love.
Oh, hold on.
I love Rush Limbaugh.
But I have to pretend that I love Rush.
Have you heard all of 2112?
Yeah.
Yeah, I hate it.
I hated it.
Yeah.
I know.
You listen to music I wish I could listen to all of these songs about booty.
I can't listen to that publicly anymore.
No, I like it.
I'm old school.
Teddy Pendergrass, Rolls-Royce.
All those are my jams.
Yes, me and you.
That's why we're friends.
Herman, you and I, we have a lot in common.
We bonded over that.
Okay, how do we get it?
And now I have to listen to stuff that all your old friends in Southside Chicago listen to.
Is it really that bad, though, Herman?
I mean, come on, it's music.
White crap.
So, Herman, I mean, I don't understand.
Why do you want white people to accept you and like you so much?
Well, you see, a lot of us have been jocking for the position of black savior of the Republican Party.
And what that means is some black dude to come along and say, ain't no discrimination.
Y'all don't need to feel guilty about nothing that happened in the past.
And I am living proof of it.
They want that person so bad they can taste it.
And I want to be that dude.
Didn't they already try that?
It was for a while.
It looked like it was going to be Michael Steele, but he's too much of an idiot.
For a while, it looked like it was going to be me, but I can't keep my fingertips off of white kitty.
Herman, I messed up.
I'm trying to come back.
You know what?
What is it about?
Why couldn't you keep it in your face?
What is it about all you guys who have to have all these women all the time and then you want to be in public office?
I can't keep my hands off white women, Jimmy.
I can't do it.
It's killing me.
Imagine if Superman constantly wanted to fuck Kryptonite.
How messed up his life would be.
That would be my chat.
It would be messed up.
And it sucks that you have that.
You know what?
We love you over here at the Jimmy Doors show, though.
I mean, I think that you were the best case.
Thanks, Jimmy.
I appreciate it.
Do you accept me?
I accept you like a white person.
I really do.
You're a pretty white dude.
Yes, I am.
And you, I don't like.
We start small and move on forward.
Okay.
What about those other white dudes sitting next to you?
Do they accept me?
I'm guaranteeing you everybody accepts you here at the Jimmy Door show, just like anybody else.
Honest, we love you, Herman.
That makes my heart feel warm, Jimmy.
Oh, that's good.
When You say stuff like that.
When white people say, I love you.
Yes.
Nothing makes me feel like that.
I love you.
We love you.
Oh.
Okay.
Do you have any white women turning around and you just nail me?
Herman, okay.
We'll talk to you later.
Thanks for calling in again.
We miss you.
Okay, why women?
I mean, goodbye.
Okay.
Okay.
Herman Cain calling it.
It's the Jimmy Dorr show on Pacifica.
Okay, so there's just a couple of things with this Trayvon.
I told you it was going to be all Trayvon.
So now they said that it sounded like he said effing Koons, right?
George Zimmerman, when he was chasing it, but it was hard to hear.
And so CNN played it.
CNN did a little audio on it.
Here we go.
Down towards CD.
Okay, which entrance is that that he's heading towards?
The back entrance.
You may not have heard the right question.
So right there, you heard him.
You kind of heard him.
It was breathy.
He went, so the CNN.
He said goons.
Okay.
Yeah, he did say it.
But they bumped up the audio.
So they had the audio engineer at CNN, and they made a big deal out of how technical, how advanced their editing bay was.
They really did make a big deal out of it.
And so then he bumped up the thing, and here, now you can hear it.
Here we go.
a shot here.
That is not goons.
That is not goon.
That is F and Koons.
He keeps saying F and Koons over and over.
And they played this unedited on CNN, which is wild, right?
Yeah.
That does sound a little clearer to me.
So they played this for our good friend Joe Oliver, who's defending George Zimmerman, the black guy who's defending him, the wannabe Herman Cain.
And here's what he said about it.
On the tapes, on the 911 tapes, there's a moment where many people swear they hear him uttering a racial epithet.
Does that make any sense to you?
Does that compute to you at all?
No, not at all.
And in fact, I spoke with my teenage daughter yesterday.
And the word in question, I mean, it's the difference between a C and a G, from what I understand.
And goon is apparently a term of endearment in the high schools these days.
So that's his defense of George Zimmerman.
I'm encouraged to know that the kids in high schools are into the goon show.
The goons.
Well, you know, it's funny because often right before I chase down a guy who I think is breaking in the houses in my neighborhood, I will yell a term of endearment.
What is the point of that?
Well, he was emitted in a nice way.
In a nice way.
This guy's a piece of work, right?
He's got to be backed monetarily by somebody.
There should be.
Or he's so full of self-hatred about his race.
Or he just wants to desperately be on TV so much.
Yeah, he should be.
This has got to be just a, he's just a fame whore because this guy is obviously empty.
He doesn't care about, I mean, and black guys have got to be going nuts over this guy.
Right?
I saw Charles Blow on Lawrence O'Donnell.
I almost want to jump through the camera and punch this guy.
The Supreme Court is deciding on the constitutionality of Obamacare, which Obama is now calling Obamacare, by the way.
Yeah, I heard that.
They finally embraced it.
So outside the Supreme Court, they're having people are protesting.
There's people out there chanting.
And there was some Republican congressman who went out to give some speeches.
And here's, I'll give you this guy's name later, but here's what he had to say, Republican congressman, talking about Obamacare.
We're just begging the federal government to please leave us a shred of freedom.
Please.
Don't make us buy a product that we don't want to buy.
Is that asking too much?
Yes.
Please, federal government, just leave us a shred of freedom.
Thank you.
That was my comedy.
Okay.
A shred of freedom.
I agree with the people that think it's unconstitutional to make people buy health insurance.
How is it that the government can make you join the military and go to war?
It's a separate issue.
But they can't make you participate in the health care system that you're going to use.
I think you should give people health care, but I don't think you should force them to purchase it.
What about car insurance?
Is that okay that people have to buy car insurance?
But the difference with car insurance is you choose to have a car.
Driving is perfect.
The difference, though, okay, but the similarity is that the reason why you have to get insurance is because if you don't, it raises the rates for everyone else, and you are taking advantage of the system.
Okay.
So the same thing with health care.
The reason why you have to purchase health insurance is because if you don't, you're going to impact the system anyway because you're going to get sick and use these services that we're providing.
So I'm with you on that.
There is a problem constitutionally.
I'm not a legal scholar, but I have read some comic books and it feels unconstitutional to me.
It is unconstitutional.
It is probably unconstitutional, but you know, it just goes to my point that I've been making for weeks on this show is that they have to keep inventing stuff.
The mandate, the thing that they're all protesting is a Republican idea.
The Heritage Foundation came up with it.
Yes, and that's why Mitt Romney based his Romney care based on the Heritage Foundation, which they're now all against because Obama embraced it.
The idea had nothing to do with Romney Care.
Why are you associating Romney with Romney Care?
So they have to invent stuff to be angry at Barack Obama about because the stuff that they should be criticizing him about, they agree with.
They even agree with him about this individual mandate, but they've just decided to not agree with it.
Right, because it's because he likes it, so they can't.
It's because he likes it.
I think they bit off too much.
I think they should have started with just the clause that you can't deny somebody.
Why did they have to do it on existing?
I know.
Why did they just do it piecemeal?
Why didn't they do it one part at a time?
Stuff that everyone agrees on.
You can't deny someone because it would have taken like 15 years to do it.
And maybe then they can let the Republicans save face because they'll cut stuff out of it so they can look like they fought it.
Okay, well.
But you know what?
The reason why he was so aggressive on this, the reason why he went for the best, most aggressive deal on this, is because this issue is 40 years old.
We needed a healthy business.
Nixon almost did it.
Truman tried to do it.
Yeah, we've needed a health bill that would insure everybody since forever.
So, Robert, you want to take away my right to be denied health insurance.
All right.
Actually, by the way, if you don't buy health insurance, the fee that you'd have to pay in taxes is much less than the health insurance.
Right.
Yeah, this is the thing.
You know, you don't have to buy the health insurance.
There's a fee, and it's not that big a penalty.
And if you had money and you didn't want to buy health insurance, you could afford it.
You could say, I can't afford health insurance.
So there's ways out of it.
But by the way, I think that there is a case to be made.
And I don't think that the solicitor general for the Obama administration made the case that this is unique.
That this is a strange set of circumstances where this is something that everybody needs that is prohibitively expensive.
Right.
We're not talking about broccoli.
We're talking about something that costs six figures over the course of your lifetime minimum.
No, no, no.
Tuesdays with Moron.
Okay.
Beep.
*clap*
Hey, it's Jimmy.
Who's this?
Hey, Jimmy, how you doing?
It's moron.
Hey, moron, what's going on, buddy?
How are you?
You know me, Jimmy?
I like to vote against my own economic interests.
Yes, we know.
And right now I'm battling against the Obamacare.
You know, that actually helps you, too.
Can he just leave us one shred of liberty?
What are you talking about?
It's just a bomb.
Just a shred, Jim.
One shred.
You're talking about a shred.
Just leave us one shred already over here.
Moron.
You're talking about the mandated healthcare.
Anyway, what I don't know.
The Supreme Court, I don't know how to whatever.
I don't know how they can make you buy something.
But, moron, you already buy health insurance.
Not the point, Jim.
Not the point whatsoever.
It's about tyranny, and it's about a shred.
A shred of freedom.
That's what this is about.
No, Moron, even if you have a point, and this is unconstitutional that they can force some people to buy health insurance.
I don't even get what the big deal is.
It's tyranny, Jim.
It's tyranny.
You know, why is it when the government mandates that I buy health care that helps me, that's tyranny, and everyone's losing their freedom.
But though, some people don't have a problem with that same government being able to force them to join the military and go fight in a war.
Why is that?
That's because they got the draft, Jim.
Yeah, I know.
Yeah, I know they have the draft.
Yeah, Moron, I know they have the draft, but isn't that, wouldn't you think that that was much bigger of an infringement on your rights to make you join the military than to make you buy health insurance?
You would think, Jim, but no.
No, thank you.
What do you mean, no thank you?
I don't know.
But listen, let's talk about that Trayvon thing.
Oh, okay.
What do you want to talk about?
And why do you think the BD is making a big deal out of this thing, Moron?
What could it possibly be, you think?
The only reason they are making a big deal out of this case is because Trayvon was black.
He was a black kid that got shot and who was killed by a light-skinned guy who was then not arrested or charged with the crime, even though he had a history of violence and was explicitly told by the 911 operator to not follow Trayvon.
And to this day, he still walks the streets a free man, able to carry that same gun used to kill Trayvon.
And it is a strong reminder that institutional racism still exists in this country and that we still have work to do.
That's the only reason that you're hiding this.
Am I right?
Yes.
Yes.
You are right.
Am I right, Jim?
You're right, Moron.
I know you are.
You're right.
I am.
So, Moron, where's Therese been?
I haven't heard from her.
You know what?
I don't want to talk about it, but let's, you know, we're not, we're a little bit of a tiff, not a big deal.
I got her a makeup gift.
Oh, what'd you get her?
Jim, she's going to love it.
I know it.
Oh.
Well, what'd you get her, buddy?
I got her the Titanic commemorative heart necklace.
Did you Titanic?
What is the Titanic?
You mean Titanic?
Oh, you mean the Titanic?
Yeah, the Titanic.
Well, that's not exactly how you're thinking.
Oh.
It's in the shape of a heart, but it's blue.
Get this.
It contains authentic coal recovered from the Titanic.
Coal from the Titanic?
No, it's authentic coal.
Well, yeah, I know.
It comes with a service certificate of authenticity.
But it's coal.
I mean, that's not a precious.
Jim, it's from the Titanic.
Yeah, I get it.
Okay, well, I just don't see the big.
It's supposed to be nice.
That's what it says.
Yeah, I mean, I'm sure.
It's the 100th Anniversary Collector's Edition necklace.
From the Titanic.
It comes with a certificate of authenticity.
Yeah, you got to have that.
I got to go, Jim.
Okay.
No, I'm not trying to make you feel anything.
Bye-bye.
Okay, bye, Moron.
Okay, that was Tuesdays with Moron.
And Frank, you have a rant.
I would love to hear it.
You might have noticed, Jimmy, that I am wearing a hoodie today.
I wore a hoodie, and I am wearing a hoodie today for a very specific reason.
And that is because it is unseasonably cool in L.A. And it makes sense to wear this as opposed to an overcoat.
Wow, Frank, really sticking your neck out.
I appreciate it.
Taking a stand.
Right.
That is why I'm wearing a hoodie.
Okay, that's our show.
We'll see you on Claremont this Friday and Saturday, Flaremont, California.
And don't forget to take advantage of our Sherry's Berry's promotion.
We really appreciate it.
It really does help the show.
But I want to let you know right now, today's show was written.
That's right.
It was written by Mike McRae, Frank Connoff, Steve Rosenfield, Robert Yasimura, and Steph Samurano.
All the voices on today's show was done by Mike McRae, except for Moron.
You know who does Moron.
Me Moron.
Okay, and you can catch Mike McRae at mikemcray.com.
There's links always at the website for all the guys on the show.
And I want to take time out to thank the two guys who lend their time and talent to this show.
Frank Pulaski at Dreamtime Films takes the calls we do on the show and puts video to them in the most amazing way.
If you ever need a video editor, you should look up Frank Pulaski at Dreamtime Films.
And if you ever need your Macintosh fix, the guy who fixes ours is Sean James.
How do you get a hold of him?
You just email him and at machelp at seanjames.com.
Sean is spelled S-H-A-U-N, and he can fix your computer over the internet.
It's amazing to see.
It really does happen.
Okay, that's our show.
Thanks for listening, and I'll see you in Portland.
We're going to be in Portland at the Portland Comedy Festival.
We're going to be in Austin at the Moontower Comedy Festival, April 25th through 28th.
We're doing Left, Right, and Ridiculous at both of those festivals.
So if you want to see those shows, get your tickets now.
I'll have links up at the JimmyDorkComedy.com as soon as they're available.
But if you're in Austin or Portland, get ready.
Here we come.
Okay, that's this week's show.
Thanks for listening.
And I don't know if you noticed, but it's an hour and five minutes long because you're listening to the podcast.