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Nov. 10, 2011 - Jimmy Dore Show
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It's the Jimmy Door Show.
The show for...
...the up-minded, lowly-livered lefties.
The kind of people that are...
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper say.
It's hard to talk on your TV.
And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore!
Hey, everybody, and welcome to this week's Jimmy Door Show.
I am joined in studio to my left, former writer for The Daily Show and hilarious comedian who can be found at JimEarl.com.
It's Jim Earl, ladies and gentlemen.
Good afternoon.
Hey, Jib.
That's how I always appreciate our introductions.
I love them too.
Okay.
I feel like we're in an old-timey movie sometimes when we're saying hello.
Certainly, you could be that.
Okay.
Next to him from Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Cinematic Titanic.com, it's Frank Connip.
Hey, Frank, how are you?
Hey, Jimmy, how you doing?
Frank, you got the up-collar sweater on.
I like it.
I went to Target yesterday and showing the results of that.
Takes years off you.
Yeah, thank you.
That's what I was hoping.
Okay.
Next to him from TBS's Dinner in a Movie and the Mental Illness Happy Hour Podcast, it's Paul Gilmartin.
Hey, Paul Warren.
Jimmy.
There's a lot going on.
There's a lot going on.
Let's get to it.
The GOP base still backs Herman Kane after he assures them that while he was harassing women, he was never once for Mitt Romney.
And in order to become the character J. Edgar Hoover, have you seen that movie?
There's that movie?
Yeah, not yet.
Have you seen it?
In order to become the character J. Edgar Hoover in the film Jay Edgar, Leonardo DiCaprio had to gain over 30 pounds of corsets.
Okay.
He's a cross-dresser.
He was a cross-dresser.
That's it.
What's coming up today on today's show?
We talk about some anti-gay rhetoric from the Focus on the Family, right?
The Family Research Council, Tony Perkins.
Sure.
Herman Kane, we're going to talk about Herman Kane.
He's having a lot of problems.
Plus, we're going to go in depth with John Stossel.
John Stossel breaks down what's wrong with our economy, and we break down what's wrong with John Stossel.
Plus, Jim Hightower, phone calls from Herman Kane.
Rip Torn's going to call in again today, and Bill O'Reilly is going to let us know.
Okay, that's all coming up on today's Jimmy Doer show.
Time for another installment of Oh My God.
Okay, we have a couple of things to sample from in today's Oh my God.
We're going to start with Tony Perkins from the Family Research Council.
You remember the famous gay hating organization called the Family Research Council?
You know, the one co-founded by George Allen Rakers, who hated the gays so much that he took a European trip with a 20-year-old male escort he hired off rentaboy.com.
You remember that Family Research Council?
Well, they're back at it.
Tony Perkins is now the president of that organization.
And he had this to say about gays comparing them to terrorism.
And it's at its base, what terrorism is.
It's a strike against the general populace simply to spread fear and intimidation so that they can just kind of disrupt and destabilize the system of government.
Yeah, that's what terrorists do.
Now, who else does that, Tony?
That's what the homosexuals are doing.
The legal system has significant justifications for our system of law and justice here in this country.
So, okay, there you go.
Oh, my God.
Wow, God.
There you go, huh?
Isn't that nice?
Yeah.
He's never going to host the Oscars.
I bet.
Who would have ever thought that the Tony Perkins who played Norman Bates is the least psycho one?
Wrong Tony Perkins.
Wrong Tony Perkins.
Yeah.
Tony Perkins and Psycho had his stuff together, comparatively speaking.
You know what I like about the Family Research Council?
Is the research is top-notch.
Always top-notch.
Well, do you know how many human beings it takes to find the facts that justify the feeling of hate you have in your gut, but can't really find a reason for?
No, how many?
The whole breadbasket of the.
You know, if I can just try to be positive, I don't think that the whole scandal that the founder of the Family Research Council was involved in speaks poorly of them as much as it speaks highly of rentaboy.com.
It does because they have some good.
They have some fine product that they give out at Renta Boy.
Oh, and they have a nice clientele is what I was thinking.
I take him to Europe.
Hey, come, you're a young kid, sign up for my rent-a-boy site.
Maybe that was part of his research.
Maybe that's what it is.
Maybe we're judging.
Rent-a-boys are too high.
Sure, you're Red Aboy.
I'm running on that.
Yeah, you're the Rent-A-Boy candidate.
Red-a-boy is too damn high.
Red boy's too damn high.
Okay, so that was Tony Perkins.
Thanks, Tony.
And I don't think you're fighting anything inside of yourself whatsoever.
What is it about that?
What is it about?
I know what it is.
It's people who are confused, self-hatred, right?
And then that self-hatred comes out as hatred towards the people who are just like them.
Right.
So he's a closet.
If you're denying who you really are, everyone who isn't denying who they really are is wrong and misguided.
Okay.
And God would want you to deny who you really are.
I think that's the message.
God made you that way.
He made you a certain way so that you could deny that you were made that way.
Jim, all of us want to fillet.
Some of us are better at stopping that urge than others.
That's what it comes.
All of us want to what?
Fillate.
Fillet.
Fillate.
Oh, I thought he said fillet.
I'm like, I. And fillet.
I like to fillet and fillet at the same time.
Sure.
I like to fileto fish.
You know, God denied who he was, too.
You know?
God is the ultimate denier.
How did God deny who he was?
God's a prick.
I mean, look at everything around you.
Okay.
Look at what happened.
Look at, walk out the door.
You'll see bad things.
You know what?
They say that the world is a reflection, not a fact, Jim.
Maybe you should look into that.
I'll have to do some family research on that.
All right, we have another clip.
We have another clip to look at.
Do they say anything like that in program, by the way?
You guys, about the reality is not a fact.
It's a reflection.
No, they don't.
They say it when you're tripping on assets, but I don't know if they say it in any program.
I'm on step negative seven right now.
Me too.
I think I'm a little behind you on that one.
All right, so let's, we have to.
And by the way, Tony Perkins, that's the kind of research you get from a guy who paid $82,000 to David Duke for his mailing list.
That's right.
Wow.
I want those racists in my inbox.
Well, he wants to convert them, I'm sure.
That's what it's all about.
He's like, oh, maybe I can get a racist mailing list and convert them.
I think they'd be good for open mics, you know?
Good audience.
When Indian loads two for one, you know, you need to bring an audience to your open mic.
Yeah, sure.
You wouldn't have to worry about them being offended at anything you said, right?
If they're coming from David Duke's.
All right, so we'll move on.
Now, Herman Kane last week, he's got a lot of problems.
But one of the more interesting thing, like this would have been enough to kill him for the week, but because there was a sex scandal, Nobody talked about what he said about China's nuclear capabilities, right?
He said this.
So, yes, they're a military threat.
They've indicated that they're trying to develop nuclear capability and they want to develop more aircraft carriers like we have.
So, yes, we have to consider them a military threat.
Yeah, so when he said that he's afraid of China, because he knows that they're looking to develop nuclear capability, you know, and they might just do it.
They've had it since 1970.
64, I think.
64, was it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So that is going to be something.
And isn't that like a much bigger reason to not elect him president than any of this other stuff?
I would think.
I mean, that should be the main focus of what people are doing.
I would think that would be the disqualifying.
Certainly given equal weight because the other stuff speaks of his character.
If you're fooling around on your wife while in office.
Yeah, I think you could say that that's a personal thing, but when you're violating the rights of other people, that goes beyond, to me, immoral or unethical to me, then you're breaking law.
But it's really, you know, it's, I don't think it should be a big story because it's the creepy behavior of a guy who's never going to be president anyway.
You know, it's like Alan Thick is pretty creepy, but you don't see reports about him.
And he's also not going to be president.
Alan Thick?
Oh, yeah.
I love the videos.
Alan Thick's videos.
On what?
Funniest America's Funniest Home videos.
Alan Thick.
That's the thick.
He's just a random name.
Oh, okay.
Oh, I thought there was something I missed about how I would like to know the dirt on Alan Thick.
Well, Herman Kane does have problems.
He is.
I think he's one accuser shy of having enough people to go in on an extra large pizza.
And if you think these women are, you know, crazy now, way do you see them trying to divvy up the check when it comes to the Godfather Pizza?
I'm telling you.
So that's what he said about China's nuclear capabilities.
But you say that should disqualify him, Frank?
Yeah, well, that should be the more important fact about him.
As the man running for president, he's completely clueless.
Well, apparently, well, this is where you guys would get wrong.
Four guys who tell dick jokes for a living know more about foreign policy than he does.
Well, this is where you guys would both be wrong because he's.
We don't make a living.
Republicans agree with us.
They don't care about any illegal sexual mishandlings.
No, but I'm talking just on China.
You would be wrong because he has a perfect excuse for what he said about China.
Are you ready?
Here's what he's saying.
Uh-oh, he's a.
Let me turn this down.
Maybe I misspoke.
What I meant was China does not have the size of the nuclear capability that we have.
They do have a nuclear capability.
I was talking about that total nuclear capability.
So that's what I meant by that.
A lot of misspeaking and a lot of cleaning up after the fact.
Maybe he takes a deep breath before he opens his mouth.
And in his defense, he spent his life dealing with Italian food, not Chinese food.
Oh, yeah, in his defense.
Is there anything this guy won't lie about, like with a straight face?
That's what I'm what I meant was.
Motivational speakers aren't known for telling the truth.
I guess you're right.
You know, you got to get in front of a whole crowd of people and lie to them to make them do something against their own self-interest.
Yeah, you can do this.
You can make the corporation stronger and better.
We're cutting your wages.
Yes.
Yeah.
So he's one of those kind of, he came in.
Well, he believed he's so devoted to getting his message across that he wants the women's head as close to his crotch as possible when he makes the message.
There's no miscommunication there.
Okay, so let's just remember what he's why didn't he know that?
Why did he say that China was looking to get nuclear capabilities?
Maybe I misspoke.
Maybe he misspoke.
What I meant was China does not have the size of the nuclear capability that we have.
They do have a nuclear capability.
I was talking about that total nuclear capability.
So that's what I meant by that.
He's an idiot.
He's like a black George Bush.
And when he said they don't have the size of our nuclear capabilities, what he means is the Chinese people handling the nukes are much smaller than Americans.
And I would disagree.
It's the same size of his wife.
And I would disagree with your comment, Jim, about him being a black George Bush.
he's a black George Bush who has experienced some success in the business world.
That's right.
Ha ha ha ha.
This has been, oh my God.
Oh my God.
Okay, what would we do without Herman Kane, ladies and gentlemen?
I guess we'd find something.
I don't know.
So there's more Herman Kane.
We have to cover him because I don't know how much longer we're going to have to cover him.
You know what I mean?
It seems like.
It's only a matter of time before he's on Dancing with the Stars.
And no, I don't know if, you know what?
I could have played this in the Oh My God.
Well, Rush Limbaugh talked about the woman who accused him.
Her name is Bialik, right?
B-I-A-L-I-C-K Bialik.
And well, he was having a hard time with the pronunciation, Rush Limbaugh.
And here's what he had to say.
Okay, folks, get this.
Now, I have been wrong in pronouncing the fourth Kane accuser's name, Bialik.
Gloria Allred says that her name is pronounced Bialik.
As in Biolik.
Bialik, it's B-I-A-L-E-K.
I assumed it was Bialik, but Gloria Allred says her name is Bialik.
Isn't by Bialik.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
Well, that's...
There's no R in the name, so you can't say it's Retalik.
It's Bialik.
Okay, there he is.
So purveyor of class.
I don't know who's writing his bits, but I want to get in touch with that guy.
I need some.
Is he six years old?
Who is that?
Not as mature as your average six-year-old, I don't think.
It's not funny at any level, not clever.
It's like something like if a six-year-old would do, like a VR six.
He's a six-year-old with $100 million.
It's like Bio.
It's unbelievable.
That wasn't even funny when he was high on OxyCott.
No, that.
Nope.
No.
Okay, so we'll move on from that.
So I could have put that in there, but apparently.
Okay.
So let's talk about Herman Kane.
He denies.
So here's what.
So we have a real life person came out and said some stuff about him.
And then Herman Cain said.
I have never acted inappropriately with anyone.
Period.
Ever.
He's never.
I don't think any human being could say that.
Nobody could, Jesus would be like, you know, there was that time I got pissed off in the temple.
Yeah.
Right?
There was the time I looked at the leper and said enough.
Enough, I know, the sores.
Well, there's one inappropriate thing I can point out that he's doing, running for president.
Extremely inappropriate.
I've never done anything inappropriate in my life.
Not when I was seven.
Period.
Eight.
Never.
So that makes it seem really believable.
Also, the pace at which he's answering the question tells you that he is editing on the fly.
Yeah, you think?
Oh, he's definitely making stuff up on the fly.
Yeah.
All last week he was.
I never didn't know about a settlement.
Oh, wait a minute.
If there was one, I hope there wasn't a lot.
I love too that he had to have been editing something out.
So what he wanted to say was even more of a lie than what he just said.
What was he going to say?
Yeah, I know, right?
Yes.
What was he going to say?
So here he is.
He got into like a and by the way, I'm sure he's never done anything inappropriate because he comes from the industry that is known for impeccable behavior, the restaurant pizza business.
I mean, nobody ever.
Yeah, they set a high moral standard.
Really, if you've ever been around pizza places, you know it is an honor code that is not surpassed by him.
I worked at a pizza place that was a great place to work.
Okay.
The National Restaurant Association has killed more people than the National Rifle Association.
Just slower.
You're talking about the garbage.
But they've killed people deliciously.
National Rifle Association can't say that.
But isn't the restaurant business kind of, and like the bar business kind of notorious for sexual kind of inner dating in restaurants?
I think it depends on the owner.
Yeah.
And I think it all kind of anti-minimum wage.
That's what they lobby for mainly.
But the National Restaurant Association.
Is that what they really are?
Yeah, they're against.
Yeah.
They're a horrible association full of people.
Okay.
Okay.
So then Herman Kane, by the way, he got into one of those things where he started to refer to himself.
Here we go.
Well, a businessman by the name of Herman Kane stepped forward.
Here I am because that's the person Herman Kane is.
But you see, that's one thing about Herman Kane that I think a lot of the American people know, and that is some people don't want to see Herman Kane get the Republican nomination, and some people don't want Herman Kane to become president of the United States of America.
I can't tell you what that motivation is other than is to stop Herman Kane.
Okay.
Wow.
You know, when I'm sexually harassing a woman, I always say, I want you to go down on Herman Kane.
Herman Kane wants you to go down on me right now.
Do you want Herman Kane to give you a job?
Well, then you give Herman Kane a job.
He's speaking in the third person, and then a fourth person came forward to accuse him.
Say hello to Herman Kane Jr.
Yes.
And then a fifth person will come accuse him.
Okay.
So that was, he kept for, what is that?
What's kind of psychological.
So he's trying to distance himself, right?
Is that what that signifies?
I don't know.
I'll play armchair psychiatrist, right?
The third person.
No, it makes him more important when you speak of your Jim Earl is not going to, you know, so it's got a self-aggrandizing thing.
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
Okay.
All right.
So again, the reason why we're playing these clips is because I don't know how long we're going to have Herman Cain to kick around anymore.
So I want to get it all in.
So he was asked about his lie detector, right?
They asked him if he would take a lie detector test, and this is what he had to say about it.
Well, a businessman.
Oh, wait.
I'm sorry.
That was the wrong one.
Let's play the lie detector.
As distasteful as it might be, would you be willing to do a lie detector test to prove your honesty in something like this?
First of all, that's a question from Fox, Business News.
Also, I thought I was going to say, as distasteful as it might be, would you eat your own pizza?
I thought I was going to say, as distasteful as it might be, would you eat your own pizza?
I've never had a godfather's pizza.
Has anybody had a clicker?
Did you use real cheese?
Well, that was Domino's had a commercial running a couple of months ago, and that was their thing.
Look, we get our cheese from real cows.
Like, that's your claim.
Look, it's not plastic.
Like you guys thought.
No more resin in our cheese.
That's your slogan.
That was their.
Okay.
So we'll go back to, here's what he had to say about the lie detector.
And this is a question being asked by Fox.
Of course, they're going to ask him, be distasteful.
You know, distasteful as it is.
To tell the truth.
To ask you to be candid under the.
As distasteful as it might be, would you be willing to do a lie detector test to prove your honesty in something like this?
Go ahead.
Yes, I absolutely would.
But I'm not going to do that unless I have a good reason to do that.
That was one of the first comments that I made in watching this to my staff.
I've also shared that with my attorney.
Of course, I would be willing to do a lie detectors test.
But it has to be something he thinks is worthy.
And a wave of people accusing him of bordering on rape is not that thing.
That's not it.
There's only four women so far.
Of course, I'll take a lie detector test, but Herman Kane will not.
I'll just say he'd take one, but if you can have a fine, foxy lady administering all the better.
That's like his abortion line about it.
I believe that life starts at conception.
Oh, so women shouldn't be able to get a book.
No, that's up to the woman.
Well, you're not pro-life then.
You know, that actually, what you're saying brings up something that is a little disappointing to me is that there were so many crazy things about him already.
Like every day there was something like his stand on abortion and all these that this is kind of like the sexual harassment thing is kind of a it makes it kind of old school.
It's kind of too conventional in a way.
You know what I mean?
It's like all of the this year's crop of GOP candidates have really been crazy in a new kind of fun and exciting way.
And this is like kind of mundane, old, old school kind of bad stuff.
And I like just the regular crazy stuff that he and Bachman and Perry and all the and Gingrich, you know, you didn't really need this sex scandal to make to make this race interesting.
I agree with you, and it seems like this sex scandal is kind of taking away from the real crazy stuff.
That's kind of what you're saying.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, like we could focus on how he told me, said two things at once about abortion.
That was one of the craziest clips I've ever seen.
It made John Stossel's mouth open, right?
How about he said he doesn't know about China or Ubecky Becky Becky Stan?
Right.
One of the most important parts of the world right now he's dismissing because it's cool to be ignorant.
And so that's what we should do.
In a way, the sex scandal gives him gravitas.
It makes him seem more like a politician than he's.
It seems presidential.
Exactly.
But you know what?
I actually called him and we actually had a little conversation about it.
Oh.
You guys want to hear it?
Sure.
Okay, here we go.
Ah, Jimmy.
I want to say that I never did anything improper ever.
What are you wearing?
Herman.
What's your wife wearing?
Is this how you're going to call me all the time now?
You want a job, don't you?
No, I actually don't want a job, Herman.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I just get carried away.
I was just joking, like my hilarious joke about electrocuting Mexican.
That wasn't really funny.
999.
Now, Herman doesn't look good for you, pal.
Now there's actual women coming forward.
I don't even know who that woman is with the blonde hair and the big boobies.
So, you don't even know that woman?
It sounds a lot like when you said you didn't even know about the settlement and then you did.
That was not a settlement.
That was an agreement of which.
Oh, come on, y'all.
Damn, y'all sexy.
You need a job.
Herman, it sounded like you said you would take a lie detector.
I would take a lie detective test.
That's one of the first things I said to my staff when I saw this.
Well, wow, I would take a lie detective test.
I said that at the time, which should be enough to prove that I ain't lying.
So, so you're going to take a lie detector test?
Of course, I am.
But only if I think one is necessary, which I don't because I'm not lying.
We'll then take the test.
Sure, I'll take the test tomorrow, Jimmy.
If I see a situation that I think warrants me taking one, I will do it first thing in the morning.
But do you see a situation that warrants one?
No, I do not because I'm not lying, Jimmy.
If I was lying, I would say, yeah, I should take the lie detector.
But if I took it now, it wouldn't work because there wouldn't be anything to detect because I ain't lying.
That doesn't make any sense, Herman.
What part of that do you not understand, Jimmy?
The part where you were talking?
I don't even know that woman.
I already said that right away, right?
Are you sure you don't know that woman?
Absolutely.
I never saw this woman before in my life.
Now, Herman Kane saw a woman who looked like she could be her younger, more attractive little sister about, oh, I don't know, 10 or 12 years ago.
What?
Well, Herman, then that was that woman.
First of all, okay.
Hey, why do you do that?
Why do you sometimes refer to yourself in the third person like that?
Well, Jimmy, two reasons.
I mostly do it out of respect for Mr. Herman Kane and what he represents and has accomplished.
Oh, I understand.
As does Herman Kane.
Okay, what's the second reason?
And the second reason I refer to myself in the third person is because of an unconscious, nervous, verbal tick that afflicts me when I lie publicly.
Okay, Herman.
You said you never acted improperly with anyone ever.
Absolutely not.
You understand why most people find that hard to believe?
Because everyone knows that everyone has acted improper at some time in their life.
Herman Kane is not a person who does things that are inappropriate.
I've been married to the same woman for 43 years.
Herman Kane is perfect.
And in that 43 years, I never done nothing that was inappropriate with nobody that I ever met.
I never met some employee who was attractive and stuck my hand down her butt crack.
I never did that.
At first, you said it was Rick Perry's camp that you wanted to apologize for this smear.
And now you're saying it's the Democrats.
And at first, it was the media.
Who?
All of them.
Oh, they're all in cahoots, Jimmy.
All these entities are working together to try to smear me.
You mean the Republicans and the Democrats are working together together?
Yeah, Rick Perry.
Yeah, Rick Perry.
Tyler Perry, he's involved in the Democratic Party.
All of them.
Okay, as well as my old competitors, Domino's Pizza, Papa John.
Oh, okay.
Wow.
So everyone's coming after you.
Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
Well, I pray.
I'm in the NRA because they had the same initials as the National Restaurant Association.
They're upset about that, too.
So is there anyone?
Everybody got their grievances with Herman Kane.
They try to express it through these smear campaigns about stuff I never did.
I never saw these women.
Well, it's.
I'm glad I have now.
Okay.
All right.
Well, Herman, I appreciate it.
I might find them and sexually harass them now in double jeopardy, right?
Yeah.
I mean, if they're accusing me of it anyway, I might as well get up there and get some.
Yeah, you might.
That's right.
I agree with you on that one.
You won't come with me?
No, I can't come with you, Herman.
I don't do that stuff.
Oh, you should.
You should hang out with me.
We'll go out tonight.
We'll go over to the booty club and hang out.
And I know some bitches.
That's okay.
I'm there, Herman.
So am I for 43 years?
What difference does that make?
All right.
Thanks, buddy.
Good to talk to you, Herman.
I miss you, Jimmy.
I miss you too.
I feel a little emotional right now.
I have a feeling there ain't going to be many more Herman Kane calls into the Jimmy Door show.
I have that same feeling, buddy.
And I don't like that.
I don't like that feeling, Jimmy Dore.
I don't like it either.
I don't like that one bit.
I don't like it.
You know what helps me get through hard times like this?
Prayer, faith, and God.
Going out and having sex with strangers.
Good luck with that, Herman.
And, you know, I hope we get to talk.
I hope we're talking until next November.
Now, Jimmy, on an off chance that I'm no longer a candidate for president.
Can I still call into your radio show?
Sure.
You can call in.
I have conversations with your ass.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yes, no problem, Herman.
You're always welcome here.
That makes me feel good, Jimmy.
Okay.
All right, buddy.
I appreciate it.
999.
Music to my ears, Herman.
Okay, thanks, buddy.
Okay, that was Herman Kane.
And I think he cleared some stuff up.
Very revealing phone calls.
I feel like he let us know, right?
Okay, so that is a, we're up against the break.
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Okay, now let's get back to the show.
Welcome back to the Jimmy Door Show.
I am joined in studio by former writer from the Daily Show.
It's Jim Earle from cinematictitanic.com and Mystery Science Theater 3000.
It's Frank Conniff.
And from TBS's Dinner in a Movie and the Mental Illness Happy Hour Podcast, it's Paul Gilmartin.
Okay, what's coming up on the rest of the show?
Well, we're going to get to the John Stossel clips, right?
John Stossel, the man with the mustache, look out.
And we're going to have some phone calls from Bill O'Reilly.
Ripped Horn called in plus more.
right now, it's time to hear from Jim Hightower.
USA, we're number one.
Oh, wait, Iceland is number one.
But we did beat out Poland and Slovakia, right?
Uh, no.
But go on down the rankings, and there we are, number 27, fifth from the bottom.
So our new national chant is, USA, at least we're not last.
A foundation in Germany has analyzed the social justice records of all 31 members of the Organization for Economic Cooperation and
development ranking each nation in such categories as health care income inequality preschool education and child poverty rate the overall performance by the u.s which boasts of being an egalitarian society outranks only greece chile mexico and turkey actually even three of those countries perform better than ours in the education of preschoolers and greece did better than the u.s on the prevention of poverty being at the bottom of the heap in social justice confirms
the reality of both economic and political inequality that the Occupy Wall Street movement is protesting.
It also helps explain why Occupy's grassroots uprising in America has spread so rapidly to more than 600 communities and has generated such broad public support.
After all, our nation is fabulously rich, ranking well ahead of nearly all OECD members in national wealth, so there's no excuse for us sitting at the bottom of the list in education, health care, poverty, and other measures of a democratic and egalitarian society.
This is Jim Hightower saying, bluntly put, we the people have let today's elites abandon America's founding principles of fairness, justice, and equal opportunity for all.
These privileged few have purchased our government, stolen the wealth and economic future of working families, and reduced America to a plastic imitation of the country we thought we had.
The Occupy Rebellion is overdue.
Join it.
To get more
jim high tower's populist take on what wall street and washington are up to visit www.hightowerlowdown.org okay that's jim high tower and you can hear jim high tor on this show just about every week correct yes i'm pretty sure we love jim high tower thanks okay right now before we get to uh our john stossel clip rip torn called me jimmy hey look little fella sorry about breaking into your house the other night by my fault your place looks like the litchfield
Connecticut bank, which by the way, looks just like my house.
Hey, no gun this time, right?
Thanks for dropping the charges, friend.
Damn fool, Cot said I was drinking.
Balder fuck.
They don't darn well I don't like to drink unless I'm driving.
What a bunch of flap doodle.
Speaking of letting a doodle out of your flap, Herman Cain.
Jimmy, stop boring everybody with Herman Cain and whatnot.
Who the hell cares?
So the guy's a womanizer.
What's the harm?
These days people get their honkers and they're not about anything.
You know, I once spent three days in the clink just for saying this to a woman.
It sure would be great if I could get my hands on those grapes.
That's all I said.
What's the big deal?
I just wanted a few little breaks.
Is that too much to ask?
I have a rich and strident voice.
It's my trademark.
Now let me illustrate Herman Cain's dilemma here.
Let's say I've got two old Volvos.
You follow?
Two old Subarus.
Corbusier.
And an old Ford Ranger.
Get it?
You've got one old car, i.e.
Mrs. Cain.
You've got to have at least several old cars because one's always going to be in the garage.
Get my drift.
Hey, Jimmy.
I used to be friends with Miles Davis.
He didn't like many folks.
I lived across the streets of him.
Just a big FYI for Mr. Rip Horn for you, sir.
God damn it.
Fucking kidney stones again.
Spain's unbearable.
Jimmy, stop knocking Herman Cain.
I believe in what he says he's never seen the back of that woman's head before.
It's like my old pal George Pappard once said.
You can never go wrong working with a black guy sporting a mohawk.
Well, that's it for me, Jimmy.
See ya.
And don't forget, Dennis Hopper pulled a knife on me, the little shit.
Oh, and also, hold on.
Well, all due respect to the late, great Heavy D and the entire D family.
Rest in fucking peace.
Okay, that was Rip Torn letting us know.
Okay, Rip Torn's, I love his voice.
Great actor.
Great.
He's got a really unique kind of a sense of things.
Let's get to John Stossel.
I've been teasing it all damn day.
Let's do it.
Okay, so here comes John Stossel, or as I like to refer to him as the not rugged Magnum P.I. Here he is talking about the impact, Paul, this is for you, the impact of buying American, what the impact is on our own economy.
And he's talking about it with economist David R. Henderson.
Let's hear it.
But the point he and ABC News were pushing that it would help Americans get jobs if only people bought things that were made in America sounds right to people.
But economist David Henderson says it's nonsense.
Nonsense.
And the reason is we should buy things where they're cheapest.
That frees up more of our resources to buy other things, and other Americans get jobs producing those things.
I mean, if it's good to have buy American, why isn't it good to have buy Alabama?
And if it's good to have buy Alabama, why isn't it good to have buy Montgomery, Alabama?
Okay, so there you go.
There's John Stossel with the David R. Henderson.
And I'm going to say he's a boob.
I'm going to say that guy's such a boob, he should have a nipple on his head.
That's what a big boob he is.
And go ahead.
I'm just flabbergasted.
Yes.
He says, so you don't need to buy American, buy the cheapest products, and then Americans will get jobs making those products.
We're saying do that in the first place.
He's saying wait and do it and risk the chance that that's going to happen.
Yes.
He's saying that what you should do is buy stuff from foreign countries that it's cheaper.
So then you have money left over to buy stuff that's made in America.
That's what he's saying.
That's the trickle sideways.
Sure.
Trickle sideways and then you make a left.
It's like a trickle crazy eight is what it really is.
It's some kind of a shape.
Wow.
So he's going against what you've been saying, Paul.
And that's an economist.
Yeah.
That's an economist saying that.
Well, he has the degree, so maybe he knows.
I'm a jackass that tells dick jokes.
I'm no economist, Paul.
And apparently neither is this guy.
Okay.
And what was that thing about, buy Alabama?
What is he doing?
Getting ready to start a song?
What is he doing?
Oh, he's trying to say that it's not going to be enough once you say buy American.
Then people are going to be pressured into buying from a specific state and then a specific town.
Yeah.
You usually know when somebody is extrapolating to crazy, it's usually a sign that they don't have any base to their argument.
Right.
Okay.
So if you're going to buy an orange and you live in Minnesota, you should buy a Minnesota orange.
Right.
They don't have the climate to make them there.
Well, it's like the homophobes that say if we let gays marry, then people are going to start marrying animals.
Is that true?
Well, animals just refuse to commit, so it's a moot point.
Yeah.
I've always felt my dog is very unavailable emotionally.
Yeah.
But that extrapolation, that going to the crazy extrapolation is usually a sign to me that somebody has a pretty weak argument.
So do you want to know what really creates jobs?
Here's what Stossel and the economists say, what really creates jobs, Paul.
I mean, a huge part of the history of mankind is an increase in the division of labor, and that division of labor goes across national boundaries.
And that creates wealth, and that creates jobs.
Just because he said so.
Just like that.
The division of labor, he's saying, is what creates jobs.
What does he mean when he says the division of labor?
The division of labor is not what he's saying it is.
The division of labor is how you get an entire town making cars or shoes or something.
Everybody does their little part, and everybody has a job.
Not one person builds a whole car.
So that's called division of labor.
And it's the most efficient way to make something possible.
But the reason those jobs cross national boundaries is because the first town wanted things like health care and a living wage and safe working conditions.
And so he's not...
And the town in, you know, Taiwan, you know, in Indonesia or whatever, doesn't...
Yeah.
Doesn't...
Not that they don't want those, but they live in conditions where they can't possibly get them unless it's cheaper to...
Their bar is lower.
The job will always go to the place where the bar is the lowest, because they can pay people the least.
I love how...
Did you notice how Stasl just kind of says it, kind of throws it away?
And that's how you create wealth, and that's how you create jobs.
Like, as if like that, there's no discussion about...
Yeah, that's how you create Chinese jobs.
Yeah, exactly.
Like, those are natural truths, you know?
Even though every one of his suppositions is one of the key philosophical points of debate in this country right now.
It's not...
He just says it like, no, no, that's just the way it is, and I've said it.
Ultimately, I think it's a war between management and labor, between white collar and blue collar, because there will always be...
Even if a company has its manual labor overseas, there's still...
The management is based largely in the United States, and the people that are pulling the biggest salaries will be in the...
Still in the United States.
Right, right.
So they don't really care...
Right.
...where it's being made manually, because they are still...
And their pay is tied to their corporate...
Quarterly profits.
Profits.
Right?
And they're...
But they're taking their profits, though, and stimulating the economy in the Cayman Islands.
So...
Yes.
It all evens out.
So it all works out.
Yeah.
Right?
And then maybe the Caymans will hire some Americans.
Yeah.
That's what I...
Well, the Americans go there to vacation, so it all works out.
Yes.
Let me...
I just love that...
The whole idea.
What creates...
The division of labor creates...
I mean, I'm pretty sure I could create three full-time jobs just debunking the BS that John Stossel says on a daily basis.
Three full-time jobs.
I could be my...
This is just one segment, and I could do a whole show on him.
Okay.
So here...
We're going to keep moving, and here he is telling you...
How much time do you think he spends in the morning combing the lies out of his mustache?
I'm thinking he spends a lot of time.
I've got to get some people's mics back up here.
Okay.
Here we go.
All right.
So here he is saying...
Paul, do you buy...
When you buy coffee, do you try to buy sustainably...
What is it called?
Fair trade?
Fair trade coffee.
Well, here's what he has to say about fair trade coffee, right?
You ready?
In a similar vein, a big thing is fair trade coffee.
This is it.
It costs much more money.
And on the label, if I'm by this, I'm doing good, and I should enjoy this with a warm feeling inside.
Okay.
First of all, I want to punch him in the face for doing that.
I should have a warm feeling inside.
No.
No.
You're not supposed to have a warm feeling inside.
Well, because warm feelings are associated with compassion, and there's nothing he disdains more than compassion.
Yes.
That's exactly right.
It's not for him to feel good inside.
That's for people who actually have a conscience.
Right.
That's for those people to buy that kind of...
Those poor, misguided people.
Right.
People who don't care for the artificial suppression of price through legalized slavery.
It's for those people.
Right?
That's not for John Stossel.
Right?
Okay.
All right.
All right.
So let's...
Here he goes.
What you're doing is essentially paying a higher price for something that isn't clearly higher quality.
But somebody in a poor country is getting paid more.
That's what the fair trade supposedly means.
By the way, a huge part of that premium is taken by the bureaucracy that organizes this.
It doesn't...
Most of it doesn't go to the farmer.
And a better way to help those farmers is just to take the...
Just buy what you would have bought anyway.
Take the premium you would have spent and give it to those people.
So yeah, he's telling you you don't buy fair trade.
You know, it's like the Ron Paul thing where, you know, the guy with the coma.
Well, the church will take care of them.
Yeah.
They love to just say that there's just a nebulous network of do-gooders out there that are taking care.
Forget about the fact that, what is it, a quarter of the planet doesn't have enough food.
Right.
I'm not going to...
Things are working out real well for them.
I'm not going to pay for that fair trade crap.
I'm going to go directly and take my extra five bucks and go to South, what, Columbia and pay Mr. Juan Valdez myself.
Yes.
Because that's the...
That's more efficient.
That's more efficient.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He...
I don't...
Everything he said is wrong there.
Everything he said...
And it's good.
You know, it's like the guy's on fire, this Henderson guy, because he really gets out his talking points when no one's there to challenge him.
I mean, nothing.
Well, they live in a world of fantasy.
It's like they need the Milton Friedmans and the other people and the Ayn Rands that create these fictions that then they can hook into and justify their lack of compassion.
That, yes, it's all about justifying.
Yes, it's all about...
And how their lack of compassion is better for the world.
Right.
And better for humanity.
Right.
In fact, if you're compassionate, you're actually hurting people.
Exactly.
And the reason they hate liberals is because liberals challenge them on how they clear their conscience, the tools they use to clear their conscience to sleep at night.
And, yes.
See, okay.
So we can move on from that.
I just wanted to just...
The coffee thing, it used to be that local coffee buyers would go around to the farmers and buy raw beans for a fraction of their market value.
Right?
So then they'd sell them to international buyers at a substantial markup.
And so up and up and up, right on the food chain.
So it would keep getting marked up.
But it initially got bought at a very low price by the buyers from the farmers.
Right?
So coffee farmers ended up living in abject poverty while making the most successful luxury item of all time.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
So fair trade practices cut out those middlemen and directly give farms...
farm collectives fair market value for raw beans which is exactly the opposite of what henderson just claimed right but you know what they say on fox the exact opposite of the truth is still kind of like the truth you know the the common thing here to me is that corporations have been thriving through the pitting of poor people against each other using their desperation as a tool i mean let's look at our our army, our armed forces.
Most of the people that join the armed forces do so because they don't have a lot of economic options.
Correct.
And if you notice, a lot of the people who are enlisted now are from small towns.
Yeah.
So, and which is where the economy is hurting even worse.
Right.
And so you get rid of any decent paying job.
People are going to have to join the army, and that army is going to have to go overseas and protect the corporate interests that are trying to keep the low-paying jobs.
It's just a perfect cycle.
Perfect cycle.
And if you want to go to college, it's so prohibitively expensive.
You have to go to the military.
We'll pay for your college.
You're right.
And all they're doing is...
Yes.
And that's why they want to go to war with Iran because then they'll be able to make high school prohibitively expensive.
Yes.
I just want to let people know this is the Jimmy Doerr show on Pacifica.
And if you missed any part of today's show, you can get a podcast of this show for free at iTunes or at my website, jimmydoorcomedy.com, where you can download the show for free.
You can comment on the episodes, watch all the other fun videos we have.
There's lots of stuff to do over there.
Let's get back to John Stossel.
I'm in studio with Jim Earl, Frank Conniff, and Paul Gilmartin.
We're talking about John Stossel.
He did one segment about the world economy, and we're kind of breaking it down because it broke my heart when I watched it.
So here he is.
They're talking about child labor in India.
And they just showed a clip of a sweatshop in India, and they showed some children working there, children working in a sweatshop.
And the kids, they looked so happy.
If you could see the eyes, the sunken, hollowed look in their eyes, the deadness of the brownness of their eyes.
It was really.
So here's what he has to say about working in sweatshops overseas, ready?
And yet you say it doesn't.
No, in fact, they're better off taking those jobs.
There are a few cases where people working in those places are slaves, and that's wrong.
And that's wrong.
I want to go out on a limb here and saying slavery is wrong.
Okay, thanks for sticking your chin out.
The vast majority is wrong.
Slavery is wrong.
But the vast majority of what we call sweatshops are people choosing that over an alternative that's worse.
Yes.
And what people do, the mistake Americans make is they think they would never work in a sweatshop, and therefore they say these people shouldn't.
Well, no one's offering those people green cards.
Those people are stuck in those countries.
They are choosing their best of a bunch of bad options.
And when you take away someone's best of a bad option, they're worse off.
And they have done that a couple times after some senators in America complained.
Oxfam studied kids who were laid off in Bangladesh.
They found the kids were often in prostitution.
Prostitution or starving.
The person who tries to get you fired is not your friend.
So think about that next time you're on a sweatshop campaign.
Yeah, so think about that the next day.
Can I just point out that these are kids?
And they don't offer up the option of maybe paying them a little bit more money.
So what he's saying is that there's only two options that we have.
Pay them shit or don't hire them.
Yes, pay them slave wages or prostitution.
That's the only thing we figured out.
That's the only two options.
Slave wages is their best option and they should be happy with it.
But I love it.
To them, it's them dropping the phrase, the kids getting laid off.
You know, they're kids.
They're kids.
You know, if someone's trying to take your job away when you're eight, they're not.
Do you know what it's like to come home at eight and break the news to your baby that you've been laid off?
Well, again, it just shows that at the heart of this is a complete lack of compassion because that's not even an option to them is to pay somebody.
They're going to put comedy writers out of business.
That's like this comedy story.
You can't even parody that already, right?
That's like how they're justifying child labor and saying that it's a good thing that these two senators who tried to shut it down.
Yeah, it's to try to shut down sweatshops.
They're trying to get them paid more money.
Yes, yes.
So not that corporations shouldn't exploit them.
And when those little kids have to come home to their wives and kids and tell them, hey, honey, I got laid off from my job today.
It's a horrible thing.
It's like that old adage.
If you want to teach a man to fish, you don't just give them a fish.
You put them in abject poverty when they're little.
Or something like that, right?
I think that's what it is.
You put a poll in between him and his neighbor and you let them fight to see who gets it.
Right.
You know, survival of the fittest seven-year-old.
So if, I mean, if these kids didn't have these slave labor jobs building iPhones or sneakers.
Don't knock the iPhone, man.
You know, instead of being, you know, so instead of being, they would have to go be, you know, be raped by men with money.
And that's the only choice there is.
And now they're going to be raped by corporations with money.
So it's much better to be right.
If you're going to be raped, corporate rape is nicer.
So they talk about ending child labor, and here's what Stostl says.
Do you think child labor is gone in America because of government?
You think companies would want to hire children and parents in a rich country?
Yes, John.
That's why they had to pass a law.
They had to pass a law, John.
Do you really think that we would hire child?
He just showed a video of the same corporations from America hiring kids.
I'm talking about only, you know, in terms of history, only 100 years ago when we had child labor here in America.
Right, right.
It was.
It was 100 years ago.
We had, like, wasn't under the table child labor.
Right.
It was, you know, an accepted thing.
It's an accepted thing, right?
And they used child labor to keep wages down.
And that was their thing against unions and stuff.
We're going to bring in kids.
That was a thing that happened all the time in this country.
So take the devil's advocate on here.
You know, triangle shirt waists were much nicer back then.
You can't find that quality of triangle shirt waists on the market any longer.
A reference that might be lost on some people.
It's not me.
It's a triangle fight, right?
The triangle factory.
Yes, the fire.
I got it.
Sure, where they all had to jump.
They locked the doors, right?
Right.
They locked the doors and everybody, you know, just ran around.
So you're saying as a result of that fire, there were all sorts of reforms and now the shirts just weren't as good anymore.
That's what I'm saying.
You just can't find a decent.
It's like, you know, after Mama Cass died, you can find a decent ham sandwich anyway.
Because people just went haywire over the ham sandwich.
No more ham sandwiches.
She choked on a ham sandwich.
She don't tell the ham sandwich.
That's actually a myth.
Yes.
Supposedly.
That's a very funny myth.
We have to.
She actually choked on a ham.
Holy ham.
Okay, so here's why, according to we don't need regulation like for a meat industry or poultry industry.
You ready?
Here's what John Stossel says.
We don't need the FDA inspecting meat.
We've been to those meat plants where the government inspectors are watching each bird go by on the chicken line, looking for visible signs of fecal matter.
When the companies, Purdue, to maintain its own reputation, they do microbial testing because they know they're out of business if they poison people.
It's brands and companies wish to protect their brands that keeps food safe, not government.
Sure.
Yes, Purdue Chickens is the victim here.
Sure.
If you've ever read the jungle, you see how they were trying to protect their good name, right?
Upton Sinclair just got it wrong.
He just needed capitalism to poison a few more people, kill a few thousand more workers in the factory, and then, you know, and then the capitalism will weed it out.
So I couldn't get statistics.
It was hard to find.
I only found statistics from 1999.
And in 1999.
Did you get these from Prince?
An estimated 5,000 deaths, 325,000 hospitalizations, and 76 million illnesses were caused by foodborne illnesses within the United States.
Okay, that was in 1999.
And it's only gotten worse.
It's gotten way worse.
Okay.
Stossel is blatantly lying about that, by the way.
Government inspectors do not stand there and visibly inspect every single bird.
There aren't even enough government inspectors to go to one-tenth of 1% of each and every one of these factories.
And Purdue, Purdue does not.
Doesn't it help the corporate blend to if you have a government inspection on something, then that should give the consumer some kind of confidence that you're going to eat something that doesn't have fecal matter in it.
And that when there is something with fecal matter in it, it's way out of the ordinary.
Whereas if you didn't.
So I'm saying that that government regulation is good for the corporations.
It's good for the companies because it creates a sense of that this was inspected and then it's okay for me to eat this.
People have confidence in their markets.
And what John Stossel is saying is you haven't tried the right fecal matter.
Hey, Bill O'Reilly called me about John Stossel.
Jimmy Door, it's Bill O'Reilly.
Hey, quit ragging on John Stossel.
He's a stand-up guy.
He stands up for the little guy.
And by that, I mean guys running giant corporations who do little or nothing for the poor and working class.
Listen, Dorr, Stossel practices consumer protection, which means he protects corporations from consumers who want to be protected from corporations who want to protect the bottom lines from consumers who want to be protected from the anti-protectionist policies of giant corporations.
It's as simple as that, Jimmy.
Stossel is against the one thing that is ruining America above all: deregulation.
The corporate world was deregulated like crazy during the Clinton years, but Clinton was a Democrat.
So the massive corporate deregulation he opposed can only be described as socialist.
I mean, under Clinton, most corporations were deregulated, but not all of them.
So then Bush came in and reformed this sorry state of affairs by deregulating the rest of them, making it more democratic.
Then the economy went into the crapper, but that was Sean Penn's fault.
Anyway, Dorr, my point is that John Stossel is the only consumer advocate who advocates the overthrow of consumers.
And that is a brave standard taken to stay in age.
And what's even more impressive is that Stossel is doing this despite having a mustache that makes him look creepier than a Penn State assistant coach, giving boogie board lessons at the beach underneath the sign that says no parents allow.
Listen, Dorr, lay off John Stossel.
Lay off Starcell.
And don't think all you public radio pinheads are safe from his investigative zeal.
When he gets through with you, you'll be broadcasting from some godforsaken outpost that no one ever tunes into, like the Fox Business Channel.
That's a threat.
Shivers down your spine.
That's what that should be.
O'Reilly out.
Okay, and that's today's show.
Today's show was written by Frank Conniff, Jim Earl, Robert Yasamura, Steve Rosenfield, Mike McRae, and Steph Samurano.
All the voices are done courtesy, Mike McRae.
Mike McRae can be found at mikemcrae.com.
Today's show is available as a podcast for free at iTunes or at jimmydoorcomedy.com, where you can download or listen to the shows for free and comment on the episodes.
And I'll see everyone this weekend, November 10th, 11th, and 12th, at the Playboy Club at Las Vegas inside the Palms Hotel.
And I want to let you know, thanks a couple of people who lend their talents to the show.
How about Frank Pulaski from Dreamy Time Films?
If you've seen the videos he does for our show, they're fantastic.
He takes some of our comedy bits, some of the sketches, some of the phone calls, and he puts video to them.
And they are fantastic.
We put them up at jimmydoorcomedy.com up on our Facebook page.
And they all go up on the Jimmy Door YouTube page.
Okay, so thanks to Frank Pulaski from Dreamy Time Films.
He does great work.
Also, I want to thank another gentleman who lends his talents and skills to our show to help support it, Sean James, right?
He helps us with all our computer work, right?
We need Macintosh help, and he helps us with it.
It's amazing.
He does it over the phone, over the internet.
We live in different states, and he still is able to take care of all our computer needs, okay?
And if you need some help, I want to let you know how you can do that.
You go to MacHelp at SeanJames.com.
Machelp at SeanJames.com.
And Sean is spelled S-H-A-U-N.
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