Hi, everybody, and welcome to this week's Jimmy Door show.
I am joined in studio to my left from Team Yasamura.
It's Robert Yasamura.
Hey, Robert, how are you doing?
I'm great.
And next to him from Dinner and a Movie on TVS No Longer.
And from the Mental Illness Happy Hour Podcast.
It's Paul Gilmartin.
Hey, Paul.
Hello, Jim.
Good to see you.
And former writer from the Daily Show and hilarious comedian, it's Steve Rosenfield.
Hey, Steve, how are you?
Hey, Jimmy, good.
Oh, it's good to hear.
Okay, so what's happening?
Okay, there's a lot happening.
The show got changed around a couple of times this week.
And we're going to go all Herman Kane.
I was going to, we had a lot of other things planned, but Herman Kane kind of deserves a lot of attention right now, and he might be gone next week.
So I feel like this is the week we have to.
God, I hope not.
And I don't know when you listen to the show, but we take this show on Thursdays in Los Angeles right now in Studio B in Pasadena.
And a little bit.
So what's happening?
Well, Herman Kane says that Rick Perry owes America an apology.
Yes, and a cash settlement if America signs a non-disclosure.
You know, for me, the saddest thing about the Herman Kane sex scandal is that it has deeply diminished the profound reverence I one had, I once had for the National Restaurant Association.
Then, of course, they're getting sued for sexual harassment.
Their slogan is, eat out more often.
Oh.
Herman Kane.
Okay, what else is we going to talk about?
Well, Herman Kane, not only does he have sexual harassment problems, but he says he didn't know China had nuclear weapons, but he did joke about them being as tall as his wife.
Okay, in light of the, and in light of asteroid YU55's flyby of Earth, did you know that's happening?
November 8th?
Yeah, it's supposed to come close.
The Bank of America is going to charge the moon $5 fee.
And hey, let's not forget, before we get into the meat of the show, let's not forget that the McRib is back, right?
And if I had a nickel for every time the McRib made a comeback, I'd have colon cancer.
LAUGHTER MUSIC Time for another installment of Oh My God.
Okay, well, you know what?
Before, well, let's just go ahead and do the Oh my God this week.
It's going to be about Herman Kane, right?
So this was Ann Coulter.
Ann Coulter is a friend of the show.
Friend of the show, Ann Coulter.
And again, you know, Ann Coulter makes me embarrassed to call myself a bulimic.
And Ann Coulter, she hates everything that's good and nice in the world.
And here's what she had to say about Herman Cain.
And it's a little, I don't know if it's like it's double racist almost.
So here's what you're, let's just listen to it.
She's talking about Herman Kane being smeared with the truth.
Okay, here we go.
There are many wonderful qualities to Herman Cain, but to be honest with you, I think liberals are too dense to see them.
Okay, fine.
Let me just stop it right there.
I love how she says, in all honesty, liberals are too dumb to see them.
And, you know, and let me just thank you for your candor on that.
Really, I appreciate you taking the spin off your assessment of the Democrats.
It's really nice for you to just laid out there raw like that.
If only more Democrats had the guts to be so honest and use ad hominem attacks to strengthen their positions, you know?
All right, let's get back to it.
She's got more.
She's a light.
All they see is conservative black man.
Look at how they go after Alan West.
Look at how they go after Michael Steele.
I mean, all of them with wonderful qualities.
They hired him on MSNBC.
That's how they're going after him.
Oh, the liberals hate him so much.
They gave him a paycheck.
He is a genius, Michael Steele.
And he gave us no ammunition to go after all.
He never said a thing wrong.
I don't know what.
People only went after him because they're a racist.
Michael Steele is the smartest guy ever.
Oh, yeah.
He said Obama started the warning.
He's so much better than their own.
The only thing that really got under my skin about Michael Steele was when he was trying to act street.
Do you remember when he went through that phase where, I don't know, I think he thought he was going to get the urban vote or something.
But the only thing more uncomfortable to me than watching a white person trying to be black is watching a black person trying to be black.
And trying to be white when they're Republicans, really.
They are trying to be white.
Yeah, but he's trying.
He was, see, he's mastered that.
Yeah.
But then, I don't know.
Is that racist for me to even say?
I don't know.
Maybe I don't even know.
And I feel like Herman Cain.
These anonymous accusations.
And by the way, Adam West is the, is it Adam West?
Is that Alan West?
Alan West.
Alan West.
Adam West is the Batman.
Alan West.
I don't care he's black.
He's crazy.
He was kicked out of the Army because he put a pistol next to a guy's head and fired it.
He was too crazy for the Army.
Yeah.
He was too crazy for a war zone.
They're like, you know what?
Not too crazy for Congress.
Or Florida.
Let's listen to her.
Let's start it off from the beginning so we get the full effect of what she has to say.
There are many wonderful qualities to Herman Cain, but to be honest with you, I think liberals are too dense to see them.
Candor.
All they see is conservative black man.
Look at how they go after Alan West.
Look at how they go after Michael Steele.
I mean, all of them with wonderful qualities.
I mean, that's why our blacks are so much better than their blacks.
Well, first of all, there are many wonderful things about Herman Kane, yes, but they all involve toppings.
So there's a little bit more.
Let's listen to her say that our blacks.
Blacks are so much better than their blacks.
To become a black Republican, you don't just roll into it.
You're not going with the flow.
You have fought against probably your family members, probably your neighbors.
You have thought everything out and that's why we have a very...
I mean, it is becoming a black Republican isn't easy because liberals hate you and dismiss you, and conservatives won't let you into their country clubs.
So it's very tough to become a black conservative.
And the GOP is full of black politicians, but their only candidate, they're only black candidate for president.
He's going to wait till after he's elected to learn about foreign countries.
Isn't that nice?
That's what I think about him.
That's a good plan.
And honestly, and to be honest, if you don't like him, it's because you're racist.
To be honest.
No, I definitely.
I'm just trying to be honest.
I wanted to be honest.
The Republicans believe that Herman Kane is a great candidate, and they are absolutely ready to nominate him if they have to.
Yes, they are.
You know, conservatives saying liberals are behind this to get Kane out of the race, which is what they've been saying.
It's not true, right?
Because there isn't a liberal in this country who wants to get Herman Kane out of this race.
We love Herman Bachman.
Oh, Herman.
Kane Bachman.
Come on.
They'll get 12 votes on the cuckoo clock ticket.
Their blacks are better than our black.
I don't know if that does that not sound that sounds like something a plantation owner would say.
Doesn't that say that?
It doesn't sound like someone who's speaking about them as an equal.
That sounds like two southern universities talking about their football teams, is what it sounds like.
Oh, you're right.
Yes, you're right.
I'm sure that's how they speak about it when the mic's not on, whereas Ann Coulter, it doesn't matter.
She's on here.
Flip the mic on.
But there's something uncomfortable about when you're speaking about a group of minorities possessively.
Yes.
Yes.
That's what I'm doing.
Especially when there was a history of slavery.
It's not necessarily racist.
It's just a bad choice of words.
Yeah.
I couldn't agree.
When you know that they're racist, that's a really bad choice of words.
Yes, exactly.
Whether they're not saying this when you've been.
They've been accused of racism.
Yeah, that's essentially.
I think you're wrong, though, because the great thing about the people like Ann Coulter in the Republican Party are like that they're convinced that they're not racist.
So she says something like that.
She sees nothing wrong.
Even if she heard it said back to her, she'd be like, I don't see the problem with what I just said.
Right.
That's like, you know, I can't tell you the number of times you hear somebody in the Republican Party say something amazingly racist, and they're like, and I'm not a racist.
Okay, now here's the point.
I believe that a lot of them are not maliciously racist, but they're passively racist in that there's just certain things that they've never confronted.
I think it's almost impossible for anybody to live in this country and not have some type of ingrained thought in your head, especially if you grew up in a racist neighborhood.
You know who's like that?
The worst is the blacks and Mexicans.
Oh, absolutely.
Total bigots, though.
Oh, and by the way, Koreans.
I don't know if you guys are flying.
I don't even consider them Americans.
But thanks.
But yeah, I guess.
Neither do the Chinese.
Or the Japanese.
But, you know.
Boy, they make good comfort girls.
But it's not a, I want to take these people down.
I want to make their lives miserable.
It's a lack of compassion.
That, to me, is the level of racism that is there in the Republican Party.
It's gotten, I think it's gotten in many ways beyond the 1965 violent feelings.
You know, like where they were putting cigarette butts out in people's coats at the Democratic National Convention.
You know, that's like where racism was really over the top.
Now it's kind of evolved into a more, we just don't give a shit about you.
Well, it's still pretty blatant.
Oh, there's still a lot of people like Rush Limbaugh and stuff like that.
But they're convinced they're not.
I mean, their whole thing is like, well, political correctness is nonsense.
Right.
Like, you know, I'm just going to call a spade a spade.
You know, calling a spade is a really bad thing.
Like, maybe you don't do that.
Well, I don't know about that.
But yeah, you can't, you could certainly use the word spade incorrectly.
Part of bigotry is that you.
Part of bigotry is an ignorance where you think you're right.
It's like the Archie Bunker thing.
He didn't say, I'm a racist.
I mean, the Klan is a small minority of people who are openly, we don't like the blacks or Jews or whatever, are neo-Nazis.
But a lot of people just think they're right and that, you know, and the things they say about blacks or whatever are just facts.
Right.
You know, you're correct.
Yeah.
That's a great point.
Most racists don't think that they're racist.
But I think his point is well taken, which is their threshold is just wrong, which is, well, I don't believe in white supremacy.
Therefore, I'm not a race.
Exactly.
It's like, no, you believe in more.
There's shades of gray.
Yeah.
The things you believe, though, and you refuse to question, are these much more insidious, dangerous ideas that you get defensive about when we say, like, maybe you don't say that.
I'll tell you what, my theory on people like that.
We're talking about Archie Bunker, people who are racist, who don't consider themselves racist.
Or Ann Coulter.
And I grew up around a lot of people like that.
And I would consider what my point is, they think that they're not racist.
And they also think that you think what they think.
They also think that you think the same thing, but that you're just not going to say it because you want to be liked by the blacks and liberals.
That's what they think.
They think that you want to, but they think that you all think this, but you're just pretending.
Right.
They really do.
So that's.
That is a weird thing when you see the smugness of people who say horribly racist things and you can tell what their thought is.
I'm just saying what everybody else is thinking.
I got to tell you, you're not even close.
You know, the other thing should be pointed out, too, is that there is a racism among the far left in that they're very patronizing towards minorities and that they feel that it is their job to rescue them and that they would never be able to get ahead on their own.
And there's, you know, especially when they make the Hollywood movies where the white person goes into the black community and saves everybody.
You know, I don't think those are liberals making those movies.
That always makes me think of a conservative would make a movie.
Those strike me as liberals.
Yeah, those movies gross me out.
Yeah, I'm with you on that.
I think paternalism is a nasty thing, but I got to tell you, it's a luxury problem compared to like, you know, sicking dogs on people.
Okay.
Yeah, I'm with you on that.
Okay.
I mean, it's ugly, but it's not a water cannon.
I think they're equivalent.
All right, Eric.
This has been, oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Okay, that was, can Mike McCrae, the question is, can Mike McCrae do Ann Coulter?
I don't think so.
He can't do the ladies, but we're going to, very quickly, I want to, before we get into it, because it's going to be all Herman Kane today, before we lose him, because I think he's going away.
I could be wrong about this.
I'm not a soothsayer or a psychic.
I'm just a comedian who's informed.
Right now, I want to talk about last Friday, Rick Perry gave a speech in New Hampshire, and I'm not kidding.
The guy was on pills.
Okay, we all know he was on pill.
He was on something.
He said he wasn't drinking, but I've taken pills, and that's what it looks like.
Painkillers, painkillers.
Painkillers.
Yeah.
I've taken Vicodin mostly for medical reasons necessary, but sometimes recreationally.
Not too often, but enough to know what it's like.
Especially on a Friday.
Especially on a Friday.
And it was a Friday.
Oh, that's fun.
That's Viking and Scotch Night.
Happy hour.
Yeah.
I've been waiting for my mood bath.
I never heard that one.
And so he gave this speech.
And I'll just play really quickly some of the stuff that he...
Let me stop.
God damn it.
Okay, so let me just play a little bit from Rick Perry.
So he said this.
Today has been awesome, girl.
This has really been a great day.
Okay, so that was after a bunch of crazy stuff that he said.
I don't know if you've saw it.
You have to see he's making mannerisms, his shoulders, the way he's shrugging them, the facial movements he's making.
To me, it's like, you know, he has a couple of drinks and he turns into Paul Lynn.
People are like, oh, I didn't know Will Farrell.
No, it's not Will Farrell.
He's Paul Lynn when he has a couple.
That's what it looked like to me.
A little bit.
It was Faye.
Yes.
It was cutesy Faye like a comic but doing kind of a.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Kind of mischievous.
I think there was that podium.
I think there was a glory hole in it.
You have to check that podium.
Wait, wait a second.
The question is, though, is he one of those disgusting frat boys who thinks acting gay is funny and that's why he was doing it?
Or was it that he has effeminate qualities?
I think he has those effeminate qualities.
He only allows out when he's pills.
He's not comfortable letting them out in Texas.
He had to go to New Hampshire to let it out.
And he did.
Boy, he did.
If you've seen this, I don't have time to go into it, but here's my favorite.
And then they went, people were talking about that, even though Herman Kane totally, I mean, the luckiest guy this week is Rick Perry because of Herman Kane.
Oh, yeah.
But David Corn from The Nation Magazine, he said this about Rick Perry's performance.
Well, I have to say, it looked pretty good to me, but then I was high when I was watching.
Who said that?
David Corn.
But I was high when I was watching it.
Okay, so let's let me first of all, Rick Perry did call in.
He wanted to, he had some, because I gave him some advice, you know, on how to, because he's been pretty stiff at these debates, and I gave him some advice.
I didn't know.
Anyway, here we have to go.
Hello, Jay, to the door.
This day is awesome.
Gold is good.
And bring it to also that.
Put your taxes on an index card.
Yeah.
Did you see my speech in New Hampshire last Friday night?
Man, you're it.
Man, you are something else.
I want to thank you for telling me to be myself and to let the real Rick Perry out, Jimmy Door.
Otherwise, I would have been the same old, just sort of stuck up old collar guy that I used to be.
But you, you talked me into doing it the right way.
Ricky, my gold.
You got to love that, right?
Thanks to the advice, pal.
I owe it all to you.
You told me to let the Perry out.
And I did, Jimbo.
Some people thought I was drunk, but they're wrong.
Painkillers, brother.
And Xanax, I can't spell, but I sure can't swallow it.
In New Hampshire, the governor is passionate when he speaks, and I got a standing ovation.
I was loose.
So loose.
I was so loose.
I was loose and flapping around in the wind.
That's how loose I was.
I'm loose now, too.
I just took a pill.
I'm flapping around in the wind like a sheet.
Like a sail.
All those sailboats.
Just flapping and loose.
Damn my tail and loose.
I'm a governor, Texas.
I'm going to execute some motherfuckers.
Choose some coyotes.
And just be loose.
Thanks, Jimmy.
Okay, that was Rick Perry.
He was loose letting us know.
And you're listening to the Jimmy Door show, and I want to let you know if you've missed any part of today's show and you'd like to hear these calls again, or you can always listen to the show as a podcast for free at iTunes.
Just type in the Jimmy Door show, or you go to my website, jimmydoorcomedy.com.
How do you spell my last name?
D-O-R-E.
That's correct.
JimmyDoorComedy.com.
Get your podcast of the show.
We're moving on.
Today is all Herman Kane Day.
We're starting off with the clips.
Herman Kane's man.
Here's how it started off for Herman Kane, right?
So Political writes the story, sexual harassment.
His campaign manager goes on with Chuck Todd first thing in the morning on MSNBC, and here's how he handles it.
Herman Kane has never sexually harassed anybody.
Period.
End of story.
Every negative word and accusation in the article is sourced to a series of unnamed or anonymous sources.
I have my own sourcing on this that talks about a cash settlement.
I am not personally aware of any settlement dealing with Mr. Kane.
You understand how that sounds.
Yeah, the fact that you cannot say it, and you're telling us that we have to go to the association.
That's the place to get the answer.
And if there was a settlement.
Oh, yeah.
He's a settlement that doesn't exist.
He started off very strongly.
He has never, and there is no subtle.
I have my own side.
Oh, well, I personally.
You might want to give him a callback.
Yeah.
I was misinformed.
Didn't the same guy wrote that write the Vietnam prisoner things that they used to say where they were like, I denounce capitalism?
That's what it sounded like.
It sounded that flat, like he had a gun to his head.
Blinking his eye in Morse code.
Yeah, he's out of Kane now.
He's a predator.
I personally have no knowledge.
Okay, so here, then the spokesperson, not a different guy at the same time, was on Fox with Geraldo.
And here's how Geraldo.
Here's how we're here.
This is the spokesman for the Kane campaign.
Are you denying that it ever happened, J.D. Gordon?
It's important to know what the facts are here.
We like you.
Now you got to level with us.
Do you deny that this ever happened?
Here.
Yes or no?
This is just an example of the inside to double media.
No, you are evading my question.
JD, what you are saying and what you're doing right now is a recipe for disaster, mate.
You know, when Geraldo is telling you it looks bad.
Herman Kane, you've done the impossible.
You've made a journalist out of the world.
Who was on your side to begin with?
Yes.
I made him actually ask a question.
You've not only dropped the ball, you've handed it off to the opposing team.
I love where he goes.
Listen, we like you.
Listen, don't make me do this.
This is Fox.
Please, this is on TV.
I'll have to ask you a follow-up.
Don't make me do this.
The last thing I want to do over here at Fox is journalism, right?
You know this.
Now stop it and just answer the question.
So that's how it started off.
That's how the day started.
They didn't even want to admit.
They didn't want to admit.
And I don't have the clip because it wasn't loud enough.
I have the clip, but it wasn't loud enough.
The guy from Political confronts him outside the Herman Cain, and he says, Hey, can you just answer the question?
Have you ever been accused of sexual harassment?
And Herman Kane looks at the reporter and goes, Have you ever been accused of you really think that's going to win?
Like, you can tell this guy's never run for anything.
I think he's stalling.
Yeah.
That was his comeback.
If you ever, I'm like, wow.
So then, so it's not going good.
Wow.
So then he goes on.
By the way, he has run for Senate and for president before.
This is not his first campaign.
Right.
This is the first campaign he got attention.
Are you illegally bombing Cambodia?
Are you illegally bombing Cambodia?
I'm rubber and you're glue.
*laughter*
Paul Gamarton, ladies and gentlemen.
Are you illegal?
Did you exchange arms for hostages?
Did you exchange?
Did you bug Watergate?
Did you bug Watergate?
Did you break the Bowling Amendment and give a contra aid?
Well, I could do this all day.
That's how much I do.
Paul, you have a nice formula for comedy right there, and I want to just beat it to death.
Okay.
So later on in the day, Herman Cain, so a little bit later, they asked Herman Kane directly, have you ever been accused?
And he says.
Have you ever had to settle a claim, given money, or paid someone because of a claim of sexual harassment or sexual misconduct?
At the restaurant of Soulsake.
Now, outside of the restaurant association, absolutely not.
Okay.
Outside of the case that we're talking about?
Yes.
No, never outside.
Other than that thing.
I want to talk about a case that didn't happen so I can deny that it never happened.
Yeah.
Can we go back to bombing Cambodia?
Did you?
Were there circumstances under which you didn't bomb Cambodia?
We have never bombed Laos.
Oh, okay.
No, Senator Kennedy.
Yet.
Now, have you ever driven a car drunk into a river and drowned a girl?
Never, besides this Mary Joe Campbell.
I've never driven one into a ship.
No other river.
Outside of Messina.
No other rivers that I drown any girls.
No, outside of this Mary Joe Kopeckney, no, that's it.
No, have you ever driven a car into a river?
Have you ever driven a car to a river, swam home, and not reported until the next day?
I asked you first.
Okay, so that let's listen to that.
Have you ever had to settle a claim?
Have you ever had to settle?
Given money or paid someone because of a claim of sexual harassment or sexual misconduct.
At the restaurant of Soul Sake.
Now, outside of the restaurant association, absolutely not.
Absolutely.
Absolutely not.
Nope.
Okay, so that's kind of.
Let's talk about the unabsolutely.
That's it.
You know, that's the one we'd like to hear about.
I almost like that.
He's almost implying, well, inside the restaurant association, it's just normal.
Oh, yeah.
Sure, everybody knows restaurant guys are leches.
Inside the restaurant.
I mean, I can't get from the cab to the curb without somehow sexually harassing someone.
Have you ever killed someone?
I've never been on a killing spree.
Outside of the one guy I killed, I've never killed anyone.
Okay.
So he moved on.
So that was kind of an speech later that day.
This all happened on the same day.
Later that day, he's given a speech and for up against it.
Maybe we have enough time for this.
Here he was talking in front of the press club.
While at the restaurant association, I was accused of sexual harassment.
Okay, so now he's finally coming out.
He's getting a whole, he's getting his legs underneath him.
He's admitting it.
All right, I've screwed up.
I should get this out there.
And here we go.
While at the restaurant association, I was accused of sexual harassment.
Falsely accused, I might add.
Oh, falsely.
I like how he uses that sophomoric rhetorical trick.
I'm out.
Like, that's really, oh, you stuck it to him.
Oh, you clever.
You're cutesy clever, Herr Herman.
Okay, so he was falsely accused.
Falsely accused.
And I think there was, but wasn't there an investigation?
I was falsely accused.
Okay, I got it.
While I was at the National Restaurant Association.
And I say falsely.
Why?
Because it turned out after the investigation to be baseless.
They were all found to be baseless.
The charges were found baseless.
Okay, so but who did the investigation?
By who?
I don't recall by whom the charges were found baseless.
He doesn't recall.
First, he doesn't.
That's how baseless they were.
That's so baseless.
First, I don't, I've never been accused.
I've never, yeah, sure, falsely.
Sure, false.
But now, but the investigation, who investigated?
I don't remember who investigated.
What is going on in your life if you can't remember who's investigating you for something that could cost you thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dollars?
He is literally a deer in the headlights.
Yes.
Yeah, he is.
He is not handling this well.
Or he's the calmest guy ever.
He's like, they'll investigate it.
It's not a problem.
Yeah.
He's like the most laid-back person.
Well, it's going to get better.
There's more.
I want to hear that part again at the end.
Charges were found baseless.
By who?
I don't recall by whom the charges were found baseless.
Okay.
Then how do you know?
And, you know, Paul.
Practically here in his subtext, they didn't prepare me for that follow-up question.
You know, in all honesty.
Who told you that your parents died?
I don't remember the conversation.
Doesn't stick in my mind.
It wasn't important, did it?
And you know, if you don't see the brilliance in that man, honestly, it's because you're dumb.
That's what it is.
You're a Democrat and you're dumb.
Okay, Bill O'Reilly.
Okay, Bill O'Reilly's got a phone call coming up.
He's got a bunch of them.
He actually called me five times this last week.
I know.
So we're going to play those after the break.
And right up, we're up against the break.
And this is the Jimmy Door Show on Pacifico.
Hello, podcast listeners.
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But he'll be back here next week.
Isn't that exciting?
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We always love it when you comment on the episodes.
And if you email me, I'll email you back.
Okay, now let's get back to today's show.
More Herman Kane.
Oh, we get the Herman Kane call coming up on the second half of the show.
It's going to be fun.
Hi, everybody.
Welcome back to the Jimmy Door Show.
I'm joined.
Today is the Herman Kane week.
It's Herman Kane all day today on the show.
My favorite week of the year.
It's everyone's favorite week.
And so joining me in studio is watch one politician self-destruct.
Get the second one free.
Can't wait.
Joining me in studio from Team Yasamura.
It's Robert Yasimura.
and from the Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast.
It's Paul Gilmartin and former writer for The Daily Show and hilarious comedian Steve Rosenfield is in studio with me.
And right now, our friend Jim Hightower is here with a few words.
Many big-time newspapers have run mocking pieces by political pundits about the Occupy movement, denigrating it as confused and chaotic.
In USA Today, for example, right-wing pundit Cal Tosa recently opined that felony to the extent anyone can understand their core message.
The occupiers apparently despise business and capital.
Well, no, Cal.
They despise corporate greed and political corruption.
And their core message is really quite clear.
The bankers, bosses, and others who make up the richest 1% of our society are further enriching themselves by knocking down the 99%.
Maybe an up-close example of this would help Thomas see what the majority of Americans who support the Occupy movement are experiencing.
Look no further than the very newspaper chain that's paying him to pontificate so cluelessly.
Gannett, which owns USA Today and about 80 other papers, is a financial and journalistic wreck.
In the past six years, its stock price has collapsed by 750%.
It has fired 20,000 employees, stripped its newsrooms of their ability to do serious reporting, and cut the pay of remaining journalists while insisting that they work longer hours with less support.
Craig Dubo, Gannett's CEO since 2005, presided over this debacle.
He's now out, but he wasn't fired as you and I would have been for such a failure.
No, no.
Instead, Gannett's board of directors handed DeBow, get this, $37 million as a go-away gift.
This cushion of luxury came on top of the $16 million he was given in salary and bonuses during the past two years, as those workers who produced the product were being dumped and the corporation was tanking.
This is Jim Hightower saying, so, Mr. Thomas, that's the reason so many are in the streets and in support of what the occupiers are saying.
Can you relate?
Hightower's commentary is brought to you by the Hightower Lowdown.
From Wall Street to Washington, this monthly newsletter reveals who's doing what to whom and why.
Check it out.
Hightowerlowdown.org.
Okay, that's Jim Hightower, and he could be heard almost every week here on the Jimmy Doer show, almost every week.
Now, look, I teased this before the bottom of the yard, but Bill O'Reilly called me.
He called me five times.
And you know what?
It's pretty self-explanatory, so I'll just let you guys listen to him.
Jimmy Door.
Hello, Ryan.
Hope you're well.
Sorry, I missed you.
Look, I just want to clear something up here.
It's come to my attention that some of your listeners may be spreading malicious rumors, alleging that the last couple of times I called you up, I was inebriated.
I just want to assure you and your audience that nothing could be further from the truth.
Look, as you know, I'm all for a good spirited debate.
Strengthens the country and educates the electorate.
Keeps everyone on their toes.
And I appreciate it.
But when one side has to resort to personal attacks, well, then it's just a disservice to our First Amendment rights.
You and I have our differences, but we're also united in our duty as journalists to set a higher standard than the usual character assassination.
That's the norm in today's political discourse.
Agreed?
All right then.
Hope all's well with you.
Say hello to life.
We'll talk later.
Goodbye.
Wow, it sounded very reasonable.
That was very reasonable.
He sounded like, yeah, it's like, oh, okay.
Yeah, it's very down-to-earth.
Sober.
Yeah, sober.
And then he called me back and he said this.
Nobody loves me.
Why?
Who's knocking on the door?
Who's knocking on the door?
No, you shut up, you old hag.
Do not like save me.
Here's your goddamn return.
Okay, so it sounded different.
It sounded like he was right back at it.
Yeah.
Well, he actually then he called again.
Do you want to hear it?
Sure.
Yeah, why not?
Okay.
Jimmy Dore, let's stick to the issues.
Okay.
I hear it.
Both protesters down at Wall Street are upset about the economy because they're on enough prisons.
I get it.
But don't go crying police brutality when you've been defecating and committing simple Congress with hole holes on the stuff that's in the hall.
You know the old saying, don't do a crime if you can't take a little beanbag from bell to your head from a cannon at a velocity of 60 miles an hour.
Now, on a different subject, it has again come to my attention that some of your listeners are saying I called in drunk yesterday.
Yeah.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
Do I sound drunk to you?
Certainly not.
Can you hold on a second?
There's someone at the door with a delivery from the grocery store.
Okay, Bill O'Reilly.
Reasonable.
Sounds very reasonable.
So yeah, yep, he's sounding reasonable, but then he actually calls back in.
Rose, I sinned.
I'm on foot for my badge.
You are under arrest for violation of the Wolfstan Act.
Break down that door.
I did what I did out of wild.
Travel safely.
See?
What was in that grocery delivery?
I kind of wonder.
You know, it sounds like he's going back and forth.
Like he's on.
I think he's just got food poisoning.
Okay, here he is again.
Jimmy, it's come to my attention that people are saying that I've taken on the character of pollution agent Nelson Van Alden from the head HBO series Boardwalk and Fire.
Well, they're right.
At least I'm not drunk, right?
You're way out of line.
I'm cutting off your mic.
Okay, that was that was all five calls from Bill O'Reilly.
I think he's going through some stuff.
You can say what you want, but I think he's going through some stuff.
Okay, now let's get back to Herman Kane, ladies and gentlemen.
Now, where did we leave off Herman Kane, right?
He said there was an investigation that exonerated him, right?
There was an investigation.
Found baseless.
By whom?
I don't recall by whom the charges were found.
He doesn't recall who found the charges baseless, right?
But, and then he said this right after that.
As far as a settlement, I am unaware of any sort of settlement.
I hope it wasn't for much because I didn't do anything.
The fact of the matter is, I'm not aware of a settlement.
He's not even aware of a settlement.
Let me look.
He told him.
Let me get the facts straight.
Let me get the facts.
The fact of the matter is, I'm not aware of a settlement that came out of that accusation.
That's the fact of the matter.
Not even aware, not even aware of it.
But then someone said he signed a statement that came out of that.
Someone said, wait a minute, you're not aware of a settlement?
Well, there was a settlement.
And not only that, but you signed it.
If I did and I don't think I did, I don't even remember signing it because it was minimal in terms of what the agreement was.
Okay.
Oh.
Who would remember that?
Who would remember the details of your character living or dying?
Right, no.
Right.
Of you have your character assassinated.
Yeah.
Who would remember the details if there was a settlement, if there wasn't a settlement?
Most legal documents at this point are like the iTunes agreement that you have to do.
That's right.
You scroll through it.
Yeah, whatever.
I raped, I didn't rape.
I just want to download the Allman Brothers.
What?
The Allman Brothers.
Holy shit.
That's a good reference.
He just made me swear.
I have to go back and bleep it.
Okay.
So he said he wasn't aware of a settlement.
And he said if there was one, he hopes.
He didn't know if he signed it.
But then they said you signed one.
He's like, I don't remember.
Did I sign one?
I don't remember that.
I signed a lot of settlements to get people out of my hair.
This is making me wonder if I've been sued and I just don't pay attention to these things.
Look, I didn't sign anything, but if I did sign something, I wasn't guilty.
And if I was guilty, she was ugly.
So there was no, so he's not aware of a settlement.
And then even though he signed it, he said, I'm not aware that I signed it.
And charges were baseless, but he doesn't know who.
And then a little later in the day, he says this.
We ended up settling for what would have been a termination settlement, quite frankly.
What would that be about?
Maybe three months' salary or something like that.
Okay, we'll keep going.
Yeah, we are going to keep going.
But the fact of the matter is, I'm not aware of a settlement that came out of that accusation.
We ended up settling for.
It's the same day.
This is the same day.
This is the same day.
What is the timeline from the first clip you played us to this point?
Well, it's only about 48 hours, right?
Not even.
No, this is the same day still.
This is later.
Oh, wow.
This is later that day.
Oh, my God.
This is him with Greta Van Sustrin talking about.
First, it was, I don't know, I'm not aware of any stuff.
That's the fact of the matter, is he's not aware of anything.
Okay, so let's just play.
It's settled.
So he said his chief counsel comes into his room and says it's settled.
It's settled.
Yes.
Okay.
Did you ask, like, what did he do?
I did.
And what were you told?
He said, this started out where she and her lawyer were demanding a huge financials settlement.
I don't remember the number.
Thousands or hundreds of thousands?
Thousands, but I don't remember a number.
But then he said, the good news is, because there was no basis for this, we ended up settling for what would have been a termination settlement, quite frankly.
What would that be about?
Maybe three months' salary or something like that.
So when someone says, quite frankly, that is a red flag that they are lying.
So then, so some reporters caught him outside Greta Van Sustern's studio and said to him.
Lair.
I like to call Greta Van Sustern's studio.
Lair.
Yes.
Cave.
Her digital cave.
So they said.
Her web.
I've had some digits in her cave.
Hey.
No, stop.
So some reporters stop him outside and say to him, Hey, wait a minute.
In the morning, you said you weren't aware of a settlement.
And now you just detailed the settlement on Greta Van Sustering.
What is with this incongruity?
Can you reconcile those two?
And this is what he said.
Politico said there was a settlement.
I know that that was an agreement.
I don't remember what it was called.
Totally different words.
That choice of words, I'm not going to say that it's changing my tune.
They use the word settlement.
I know that the restaurant association had an agreement with this lady.
Wow.
Yes, this is.
You thought Clinton parsed words with defined sex.
Oh, no, settlement.
Agreement, yeah.
Oh, I knew of the agreement.
Yeah.
With a straight face, he's saying this to people, to grown-up people, with a straight face, and he wants to be president.
And Dan Coulter said it's all because the liberals are too dumb, quite frank.
Honestly, he's wonderful.
Well, you were wonderful.
Ann Coulter described it as high-tech lynching.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, it would be the first case of somebody hanging themselves with their own penis.
Oh, that's pretty high tense.
Sometimes I can see the gears turning in retrospect.
I was like, now I know what that look was a minute ago.
He's setting himself up for a joke.
So now let's just recap.
Let's just recap the first half of the day.
The restaurant association did a settlement.
I wasn't even aware of it.
I was aware that an agreement was reached.
The word settlement versus the word agreement, she and her lawyer were demanding a huge financials settlement.
I don't remember the number.
Thousands or hundreds of thousands, but I don't remember a number.
But then he said, the good news is, because there was no basis for this, we ended up settling for what would have been a termination settlement, quite frankly.
What would that be about?
Maybe three months' salary or something like that.
I don't remember the exact number, but I do remember my general counsel saying, the good news is we didn't pay all of this money that was being demanded.
It wasn't one of those things.
Yeah.
He ended up paying $45,000 to the lady.
I never talked about my mortgage.
I talked about my house payment.
Yes, yes.
That's not my car.
That's my automobile.
So then it got to the point later in the day.
Now he's starting to give details.
Not only is he now admitted that he's been accused of it, now he's talked about the settlement.
There is a settlement.
He calls it an agreement.
So now everything he's very slowly admitting everything the reporters are pushing on him.
And to the point now where he starts to detail one of the incidents that got him in trouble.
Here it is.
She was in my office one day and I made a gesture saying, oh, and I was standing close to her and I made a gesture.
You are the same height as height as my wife.
And brought my hand, didn't touch you, up to my chin and said, you're the same height as my wife because my wife comes up to my chin, my wife for 43 years.
And that was put in there as something that made her uncomfortable as part of the sexual harassment charge.
I'm sure that's exactly how it happened.
Plus there was grinding.
But other than that, baseless.
That story doesn't raise more questions than it answers at all.
At all.
Really, you think that's going to make people go, oh, I got it.
You just want to like that.
We don't need any more.
Thank you, sir.
Yeah.
It was a height thing.
You just want to know how tall she was.
Yes.
I'm sure you didn't.
I simply said, this is usually where my balls rest on her chin.
She misconstrued it.
Because she's the same height.
It was a talk about height.
Didn't touch her.
Yeah.
I love how he says that.
Didn't touch her.
Like when you were a little kid and you go, don't touch me.
I'm not touching you.
The guy's been married 43 years.
Give him a break.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Let me say something really unfunny now.
That was a bone to all those people.
That was a bone to all the people in the Republican Party who think that sexual harassment suits are baseless.
Yes.
You know what I mean?
That was the excuse where he threw out to the people who were like, women just overreact and we're this litigious society and this is crazy.
And I'll bet you about, I don't know, third of the Republican Party went, that's good enough for me.
Well, certainly his supporters.
I hate women too.
Certainly his supporters.
Yeah, certainly his supporters said that.
Yeah.
Okay, so there's more.
I have more clips.
I can't.
He said more crazy stuff.
Okay.
So here he is.
We recapped.
He gave his version of what happened.
And he says, but it's so, he can't remember that there's other accusations that he gets asked about.
And there were a couple of other things in there that I found absolutely ridiculous that I don't even remember.
They were so ridiculous, I don't remember what they are.
Well, you remember they were ridiculous, but you don't remember what those other things were?
The reason I forgot them, Robin, is because they were ridiculous.
I dismissed them out of my mind.
I said, if she can make that stick and call that sexual harassment, fine.
But it didn't stick.
Okay?
I remember an offhand comment about my height, but I can't remember ridiculous things.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yeah.
That's exactly right.
The other stuff that if I told you, you would go, wow, that's sexual harassment.
I can't remember those things.
I remember the thing about the height.
I remember talking about the weather, but I don't remember her saying that I was sexually harassing her.
I always force ridiculous things out of my mind that could end my career.
I always force those because they're ridiculous.
And the fact that he's been talking about it all day shows how ridiculous it is.
By the way, when he says ridiculous, he means the things he actually said.
They were crazy.
I can't believe I was.
And by ridiculous, he means the things he has to lie about on the news.
Let me ask this question.
What should somebody like him do?
What should he do?
What would the honest, noble thing be to do?
Quit the Republican Party, first of all.
No, what he should have done was said, yes, I was.
When they said, hey, have you been accused of sexual harassment?
Yes, I was.
There was a suit when I was president of the thing.
It was baseless, but they paid her off instead of going to court.
And that's what happened.
That's what he should have said.
What if it wasn't baseless, though?
And should he then have said what actually happened and what she said happened?
But you know what he did say, Paul?
He said, have you ever been accused of sexual harassment?
That's what he did say.
And if they wanted to go into detail, he could have, I think, easily said, I'm not going into detail about this.
This is a close.
This is nothing.
This is baseless.
That was blah, blah, blah.
I never went to court.
This is – and I'm not going to – so he could have just – But then he leaves himself open to the women making a statement that contradicts him.
But the thing is he – yeah, he could say this is my side of the story.
They may come out and say their side of the story.
But the thing is – and we talked about this before the show.
He knew that this was waiting in the tall grass for him.
He's known for years this has been – and he wasn't prepared for it.
That's a good quality for a president.
Yeah.
And on this one day, he remembered everything that he didn't know in the morning and suddenly it all came back to him.
It all came back to him in one day even though he had 10 days notice.
He's written on his arm backwards.
Yeah.
Okay.
So it was so ridiculous he forgot.
But then he was asked about another incident by Judy Woodruff.
Is that her name?
Yeah.
She asked him about – on PBS – if he had ever invited a woman to his hotel room because that was one of the accusations.
At a convention or at a meeting, did any one of these women – were they ever asked to meet you?
That I absolutely do not recall.
Then it happened.
It happened.
As soon as you say you don't recall.
It happened.
It happened.
I do not recall.
Could have.
Maybe.
Yeah.
Maybe that happened.
Could have happened.
Okay.
And so the thing he was trying to avoid was this.
The fact is the bitch said no.
And that's the whole point.
The next morning – he was trying to avoid this as being the headline, which it ended up being anyway.
The next morning was this.
Herman Cain says he did nothing wrong, but admits the group he led doled out cash to a woman who accused him of sexual harassment.
Did they have to play rap music underneath that?
Did you hear that?
They didn't have to, but boy, it really adds something, doesn't it?
They're betting music on the morning – no, that's not morning.
That's way too early with Willie Geist.
Herman Cain says he did nothing wrong, but admits the group he led doled out cash to a woman who accused him of sexual harassment.
So they did that as a – That's jaw-dropping.
They did it as a joke that they're playing that music underneath that.
is that what you're saying is jaw dropping yeah if even if it is a joke what is it a comedy show no it's a new show but they they they like to they like to it's it's in the morning so they poke they goof around a little bit more well that's not good goofing i'm i agree with you it's not good goofing and this is the jimmy door show and if you'd like to get a podcast of this show it's always available at iTunes for free or at jimmydoorcomedy.com but I have to remind people of that because people forget that's why it's hard to
call.
He just looked at me so sincerely.
They forget.
Like, kind of, oh.
So after all these people, so after all this has been happening, he starts, so all this comes out, and then, so then the next day, right, in the morning, he's giving, he's having a campaign meeting with some doctors, and the reporters want to ask him questions, and his, here's how Herman decided to, here's what they came up with overnight, how to handle the questions.
Let me say one thing.
I'm here with these doctors, and that's what I'm going to talk about, so don't even bother asking me all of these other questions that you all are curious about, okay?
Don't even bother.
Don't even bother, he says.
I know you guys want to ask me questions, but don't even bother.
Not going to happen.
I'm just going to be president.
And I'll never answer them ever again.
How about that?
I got these doctors here.
You want to talk about the doctors?
I'm available.
Oh, and by the way, I have not witnessed the last 30 years of professional politics.
politics.
I had no idea this was coming.
I have no idea how to handle it.
I don't know that you guys are going to ask me questions about it, and I'm pretty sure if I tell you not to, you're not gonna.
Well, let's see how that worked out.
Is it possible that he was putting a pizza together and what he thought was cheese was a handful of ass?
It is possible.
It is possible.
That's the dumbest joke so far.
So here, so here's, so he tells the reporters, don't even ask me, and immediately someone asks him.
That's a good question, though.
But are you concerned about the fact that these women do want to, that perhaps someone wants to come forward?
Are you concerned about what?
Excuse me.
Let's go.
I'm part of no, don't some people love this.
Yeah, and that would have been my advice to him that morning.
You know, when you're running for president, reporters catch you in an embarrassing lie.
Tell them you're not going to answer the question, and then act like the reporters are being dicks instead, right?
And then yell at them.
That's what he did.
In a really sort of indignant, mildly effeminate way.
Do that.
yell something ironic like what part of no don't you understand how ironic right no means no herman yeah yeah no oh good catch on he's wonderful i think he's wonderful he is well to be honest you're just if you don't think so to be honest dance you're too dumb to realize it okay so here's herman we have more Here's the last clip, okay?
Here's Herman Kane's campaign manager the next day.
So this is Tuesday.
And this is how he finally wrapped it up.
In 2003, Herman Kane ran for the Senate.
He hired a general consultant, Kurt Anderson.
Mr. Kane divulged the NRA claims at that time to his general consultant.
National Restaurant Association.
Exactly.
Mr. Anderson.
So the campaign at that point would be prepared if the issue surfaced.
It did not.
Approximately two weeks ago, as you know, Mr. Anderson went to work for the Rick Perry campaign.
So let me just walk you through this.
Guy named Kurt Anderson who's working for Herman Kane back in 2003 when he was going to run for Senate.
So Herman Kane sits this guy down and tells him about this, tells him about this sexual harassment suit that happened to him when he was at the Restaurant Associate, tells him about it, preparing him, preparing something that might come out.
Something that might come out.
So he's been preparing for this since 2003.
And these are the answers he has.
So secondly, so then that guy, Kurt Anderson, goes to work for Perry.
Oh, uh-oh, there's no way that was foreseeable.
Okay.
That like professional political people like that go and work for other people.
So they blame now Perry the Perry campaign.
And so here's a little bit more to what he has to say.
What else happened about two weeks ago?
Political began this smear campaign citing anonymous sources claiming Mr. Kane acted inappropriately.
Okay, the anonymous source would be Herman Kane.
He told Kurt Anderson, who told Politico there's a lie in his campaign and it's him.
Why would he tell Kurt Anderson about this in 2003 when Kurt Anderson was working for him?
I see.
And then Kurt Anderson two weeks ago went to work for Perry.
And then Politico started working on the story two weeks ago.
And they're saying, based on anonymous sources, the anonymous source is Herman Kane.
We got to root him out.
We got to get rid of him.
You know what?
Herman actually called me.
We actually had a conversation.
We had a conversation about this because it's pretty important.
Jimmy, this is Herman Kane.
Hey, Herman.
I've never sexually harassed anybody my entire life.
What are you wearing?
What are you doing?
What's your wife wearing?
Herman.
Now, you know, this is the kind of thing that gets you in trouble.
What are you doing?
Herman, what if I asked you, what are you wearing?
What are you wearing, Herman?
Herman, you're really losing it.
Herman, what the hell is going on with you?
I'm sorry.
I'll get out of control.
All right, buddy.
I know you're not.
I've never sexually harassed anyone.
You sure?
If you don't touch my dick, you're fired.
Anyway, I never, ever said anything that was out of line.
Okay.
Any of my bitch employees.
No, Herman.
I'm sorry.
I'll get out of control.
Well, you could see how people could accuse you of sexual harassment.
I've never sexually harassed anybody my entire life.
But you've been accused of sexual harassment, right?
I have not heard.
I realize that some people have come forward like a pair of giant supple titties out of nowhere.
These accusations have come at me, but I don't know where they came from.
They're just, what are you talking about?
They're the accusations.
Everybody knows.
I don't have any idea what you're talking about, Jimmy.
The sexual harassment thing.
Sounds like you're trying to smear me, Jimmy.
I don't know.
I'm asking you about the sexual harassment thing.
It's in the news, Herman.
Don't be a mental.
Oh, you mean that?
That is so ridiculous that I can't remember it.
Obviously, you remember it, Herman.
Jimmy, I never, ever sexually harassed nobody in my life.
Yeah, yeah, I know, but the reports say that you were accused of it.
Why wouldn't you answer that question?
Have you ever been accused of sexual harassment?
Have you ever been accused of sexual harassment?
Every day.
Ah, well, I haven't.
You already admitted you were accused of it.
What are you talking about?
No, Jimmy, I have never been accused of sexual harassment.
And if I was, I hope there wasn't a settlement.
And if there was a settlement, I hope they didn't give the woman much money because I never did nothing to Carol that she didn't deserve.
She's the same high as my wife.
And there never was a settlement.
I think.
And even if there was, she only got three months' salary anyway.
So no big deal.
It sounds like.
And I didn't sign it.
Really?
And if I did, I don't recall.
I know that's a bad question.
They're all nonsense.
I never harassed nobody in the 90s except that woman whose hand I put down to pennies.
Are you going to say that that was a joke now when someone calls you on that?
This is all nonsense.
It's a high-tech legend.
It's the opposite.
999.
Quit saying that.
You know what I'm talking about?
Yeah.
Okay.
Listen, I got to go.
So what you doing, Letterboo?
I got to do a radio show, buddy.
I got to go.
999.
Today's show is written by Jim Earl, Robert Yasimura, Steve Rosenfield, Steph Semarano, Frank Conniff, and Mike McRae.
And if you're in Las Vegas, are you in Las Vegas?
Because I'm going to be in Las Vegas November 10th, 11th, and 12th.
I'll be telling jokes at the Playboy Club inside the Palms Casino in Las Vegas.
That's Thursday, Friday, Saturday, November 10th, 11th, and 12th in Vegas.
See you there.
Today's show was produced by me.
And thanks to my guests for sitting in, Paul Gilmartin, Steve Rosenfield, and Robert Yasimura.
And all the voices are done by the great Mike McRae at mikemcray.com.
And I want to do a special mention to the two people who donate their time and talent to the show in big ways.
Frank Pulaski, who does all the videos, he takes the clips, the little bits that we do on the show, the phone calls, the other comedy bits, and he puts video to them and he puts them up on my YouTube page and we put them up on Facebook.
And they're really amazing work.
It really brings the bits to life.
And so Frank Pulaski at Dreamy Time Films.
Need any video stuff?
He's the guy to go to.
Frank Pulaski at Dreamy Time Films.
And then a guy who helps us with all our computer needs.
He fixes all our problems.
This show wouldn't happen without him.
It's Sean James.
And you can reach out.
If you have a Mac problem, he's the guy who'll fix it for you.
You can't make it into the genius bar.
You need help right away.
You go to Sean James at, you know, you go to MacHelp at SeanJames.com.
MacHelp, M-A-C, help at Sean James.
And that's S-H-A-U-N-J-A-M-E-S.com.
MacHelp at SeanJames.com.
All right.
Then thanks to everybody who makes this show possible.