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Nov. 18, 2011 - Jimmy Dore Show
57:54
20111118_The_Jimmy_Dore_Show_11-17-11
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Hi, everybody, and welcome to this week's show.
I'm joined in studio to my left.
Doesn't matter which way I'm going, but I'm going to go to my left first.
From TBS's Dinner and a Movie and the Mental Illness Happy Hour Podcast.
It's Paul Gilmartin.
Hi, Paul.
Good to see you.
To his left is from Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Cinematic Titanic.com.
It's Frank Coniff.
Hey, Frank, how are you?
Hey, Jimmy, how you doing?
All right.
And right next to me, to my right, Frank's left, cross the table from Paul.
It doesn't matter.
It's radio.
I know that's the last one.
But you're painting a picture.
I'm trying to paint a picture.
It's former writer from the Daily Show and hilarious comedian Steve Rosenfield.
Hey, Steve.
Hey, Jimmy.
Good to see you.
How are you?
Oh, it's great to have you guys here.
You're going to have a tough time describing as if we ever line dance while we're doing the show.
All right, what's coming up on today's show?
Well, Bill O'Reilly, ladies and gentlemen, wrote a book about Lincoln called Killing Lincoln.
Are you familiar with this book, Dr. I heard about it?
It's so bad that it's so inaccurate that the historians at the official Lincoln Museum at Ford's Theater have refused to sell it because its pages are bursting with disastrous historical errors.
Bill O'Reilly says all the historical facts in his new book were thoroughly researched before he pulled them out of his ass.
The book is so bad, Lincoln came back from the dead and shot himself again.
Yeah.
Okay, so and Herman Kane, we're going to talk about Herman Kane.
You know, the more I hear Herman Kane talk, the more I think the pizza business pretty much runs itself.
Okay, so we're going to talk about Herman Kane coming up.
And guess what happens when a bunch of middle-class people elect a billionaire to be their mayor?
He ends up siding with billionaires.
Isn't that something?
So yeah, they cleared out Occupy Wall Street.
We're going to talk about that.
We got phone calls coming up today from Herman Kane.
Bill O'Reilly calls in.
And we got a new one, Gordon Gecko.
Wow.
What?
That's today on the Jimmy Dore show.
Time for another installment of Oh My God.
Okay, now today's Oh My God segment, I'm not very proud of it.
It's not the craziest thing we've ever heard.
It's kind of cutesy because if you know me, you know, I like to watch Nightline.
Because you're not angry enough.
Because I'm not angry enough.
So they were actually...
And we wouldn't get the quality journalists.
Because when he left, people were afraid that they wouldn't be able to keep up the quality and standards that Ted Koppel had set for that show, and they would lose ratings, and soon they'd be gone.
But that didn't happen, right?
I mean, yeah, they did chuck their journalism, but their ratings have skyrocketed.
So that didn't happen.
And here is, now, this is just a, I like to always see how they handle the transitions.
So they started off with the Jerry Sandusky story, I don't know, just very, here we go.
Let's listen.
So we're going to start off with the end of the Jerry Sandusky story, and then we're going to move into their next story.
And Cynthia McFadden is hosting this week.
A man, prosecutors contend, used his position, power, and the attraction of big-time college football in what many are now calling the biggest scandal in sports history.
At Penn State University, I'm Jim Avila for Nightline.
A tragedy that just seems to keep growing.
And just ahead, what did Justin Bieber and Hallie Berry have in common?
We sniff out an answer.
Okay, I see again.
This is not an oh my god.
I know.
I just thought that was kind of funny.
Oh, okay.
What stinks?
What a horror.
That's the question.
Hallie Berry or Justin Bieber.
And actually, when you say what stinks, that's actually a segment about their perfume.
People are trying to make sense that smell like people.
Did you know?
Oh, really?
So that's how I did not know.
That was weird.
That was kind of oddly.
Oh, that was the segment that they're doing perfumes that supposedly smell like Justin Bieber.
Yeah, that was the story.
So that was an oh my God segment?
Yeah, I'm sorry.
Oh my gosh.
I know.
I wasn't that good.
Oh, God, we're starting off bad today.
Yeah.
Well, how about you hear?
So, oh my gosh.
It's more like that's more like an oh golly gee.
Really?
That didn't.
I thought that would make everyone laugh.
I was watching it last night.
I started busting out laughing when I watched it.
Maybe because I said it.
Well, it's so common, that kind of thing, on those shows where they make those segments.
Those awful transitions.
And the cancer is inoperable.
Tomorrow's going to be sunny.
You know, plus, this is a tragedy that's just going to keep on growing.
But we're moving on from that right now with a Justin Bieber story.
Justin Bieber.
So, all right, so how about this?
How about this?
If you don't like this, oh my God, how about the, so the next story.
So, you know, again, Nightline, Sirius News, Ted Koppel, here's the They went to the Justin Bieber Halley Berry story, and then here's what they rounded out the night with.
Can you want to hear what they rounded out?
Some more serious journalism.
Millions of us believe that ghosts do indeed exist.
Well, tonight, Nick Watt finds a society of ghost hunters and follows them into the dark.
It's not even Halloween.
It's the middle of November, and they're doing that story.
Why are they?
Her normal voice.
That's kind of a weird voice.
Her voice?
Yeah.
Well, yes, I like to watch.
They're literally devoting a segment of a news show to something that literally doesn't exist.
That doesn't exist.
That's how shallow they are.
Yes, they don't care.
Anything to scare you.
It's always, ooh, it's scary.
Plus, there's no really research resources needed for something like that.
You just a campfire.
Yeah.
All you need is a car and a microphone.
Yes, that's it.
And you need about a million people willing to listen.
Yeah.
And that's what you get.
You get some.
It's not even honest to God.
It's not even Halloween.
But I've seen, I remember seeing years ago on 2020 or one of those shows, there was some story about the image of the Virgin Mary in a cheese sandwich or something or on a taco or on a, I think it was on a wall actually in Mexico or something.
And they did this story, but the way they presented it was, could it really be the Virgin Mary?
Like as if there's like a question, like it was like something worth investigating.
Could this really, so they really do like, you know, in order to get ratings, they really have to appeal to the superstitions of ignorant people that watch their show.
Are you telling me that you don't think Jesus showed up on a potato chip?
I see God every time I eat a potato chip.
I don't think I've never seen Jesus in it, but I've felt Jesus.
I've felt, I've yelled, oh God, oh God, oh Jesus.
When I eat Pringles.
Come on, people.
Pringles, it's a funny name.
This has been, oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Okay, I'll take the heat on the oh my God this week for being just an oh my golly gosh and uh well let's we have to do Herman Kane again because I'm he's gonna be gone soon so Herman Kane we all know the gaff he made right so they asked him about Libya and he just kept he couldn't he didn't say anything for like minutes at a time he would just sit there move because the water bottle seemed to be in his way I don't know if you saw the video he kept moving the water bottle around like it's in his way or something so we I don't need to play that for you right because we've all seen that ad nauseum okay so now here's but he had an ex perfect
excuse.
He had a perfect excuse.
Being in a room where you're being asked question after question on different topic after different topic, I paused.
And I don't understand why that pause created so much quote-unquote controversy.
I paused to gather my thoughts.
I have never not taken responsibility for what some people perceive as mishaps, missteps, or whatever the case may be.
He's never not taken responsibility, except for this time right now.
And I love the fact that he's like, what's the big deal everybody?
I took a pause.
Yes, Herman, the world is screwed up and you're right.
I am going to take his side.
I mean, the world and Paul Gilmartin.
I agree.
It was a very lengthy pause, but I thought he was pausing because he had no idea where Libya was.
It was the kind of pause where you thought, oh no, this guy has no idea what happened in Libya or who the parties are.
But everything he said after that was not stupid.
It made sense.
One of the things he said was, I have to know which part of Libya you're talking about because there are many aspects.
I wasn't privy to all the information, which to me makes total sense.
He said, we don't know the parties that were going to take over for Qatafi.
We don't know what they were about.
So, had I known that you were going to have this stance, I would have had that clip at the ready to play.
Oh my God.
Because what he said was some of the most transparently dumb crap I've ever heard.
First of all, he disagreed with Barack Obama and then by the end of it, he wasn't disagreeing with him.
He couldn't say specifically what it was he disagreed with.
He couldn't say specifically.
I just disagree with him.
I just do.
And I don't care if that makes me look like a knee.
Whatever it is, I'm against it.
Was Barack Obama for it?
Then I'm against it.
That's all that was.
That I will agree with you.
But I thought his statement on China, him being worried that China was going to get nuclear weapons, that to me is much more horrifying.
Because China's had nuclear weapons since the 60s and that should be getting played over and over and over again.
That didn't get nearly the play that his sexual scandal and all that stuff that's like completely taken over the news and this Libya thing too.
That, when he said that China, I mean, that's the trouble with the media now is something like when they make, something like what he said about China is just considered a mundane, everyday, stupid thing that politicians say.
Nobody's shocked by it and they just move on from that.
You know, it has to be like a visually embarrassing thing like forgetting what you're going to say.
The problem with...
Or screaming too loud into the microphone.
Right.
The problem with these, this GOP field is not what they don't say, it's what they do say, you know, that we should be really worried about.
Well, the thing with Cain is he had an advantage in that nobody took him seriously.
And then his votes went, his poll numbers went up.
Then they took him seriously as a candidate but then they forgot to say, yeah, but this is the same guy that didn't know that China had the bomb.
You know, like they don't put it all together.
You know, I don't think that it has to be an either or.
Like, hey, the worst thing was the China thing.
I think they're both horrible.
I think that what he actually revealed himself in that Libya interview was he revealed to not even have the cursory knowledge of someone who skims the newspaper.
He didn't.
I thought he had that.
He didn't have that.
I disagree.
He didn't.
I think that.
I don't think he had it beyond that but I think he had the cursory knowledge of someone who skims the newspaper.
He knew that Gaddafi was overthrown.
Okay.
And that there was some question as to what the people that are now going to take over, what are they going to be like?
He knew to ask that question but he was trying to.
Okay.
Because, I mean, there are some people in the GOP field that I'm sure don't even know Libya is in Africa.
Yes.
Yes.
And Africa is not
the other thing they don't know right yes okay so let's move all right so that's well here's how he so someone doesn't just so after that Paul someone asked him this question and he's going to answer this question as if it's me and Mike McRae doing a bit okay so here's this is his I'm not editing this this is how he answers it ready mr. Kin do you think Olivia comments reinforce the idea that you don't have a thorough understanding of foreign politics okay so the question is do you think that the way you handle this it shows that you don't have a thorough understanding of
foreign policy and are ready let's hear mr. Kinn do you think Olivia comments reinforce the idea that you don't have a thorough understanding of foreign politics 999 wow oh man wow he's speaking in German no no no Mike McRae just nailed it perfectly in that oh my god that should have been that should have been the you need to get somebody to pick your oh my god segments um you know I'm losing my touch
You're too close, Jimmy.
I am too close.
Okay, so that was...
And by the way, his 999 has nothing to do with foreign policy, right?
That's a domestic policy.
That's a domestic policy.
Yeah, that's his tax plan.
That was his answer.
Yeah, 999.
He turns right at the camera, smiles real big like in his creepy commercial ad.
Remember how he smiles like it's a slow build?
And then he just goes 999.
But he's eating peanuts or something, and you can see them in his teeth as he's doing it too.
So it was...
Anyway, so there you go.
Ah, it should have been the oh my God.
Okay, let's very quickly get to Christiane Amanpour.
She was...
First of all, she had a great panel.
We'll talk.
We'll get to that.
But she had the former Attorney General of Pennsylvania on, and she asked him...
Here's my favorite question about the company.
Let me just ask you, why do you think it took this sort of public shaming for the university to finally act?
Why do you think everyone basically hid this thing for so long, from the president to Coach Paterno?
Okay, I think this is going to be...
This could be a segment called, you get three guesses and the first two don't count.
Why do you think everybody covered this up?
I don't know.
Successful coach had a successful football program that idolizes football over everything else.
I wonder what...
A lot of money and pride at stake.
Yeah.
Could affect recruitment.
Could affect enrollment.
It's all about money.
Is it not all about money?
that's what i thought all right and people not wanting to turn a friend in yeah maybe maybe that too.
Maybe they covered for a friend.
I think it was more about, I don't want to bring shame to the program, and this could cost us money.
Certainly, that's what the president was doing when he backed those guys, right?
And okay.
And ultimately, we don't really care that much about children that we don't know.
Yeah.
I mean, that has to factor into it.
I'm sure it wasn't conscious on their part, but how could you let somebody or you don't understand pedophilia?
Certainly the coach.
There's a big lot of problem with the wide receiver coach.
He was the guy who caught him raping a boy in the shower, and then he didn't do anything, and then he called his dad, and then the next day they went over to Joe Peterner to tell him.
Now, in that situation, what you're supposed to do is you grab the kid and you call the cops, and you make sure that guy stops raping that kid, and you don't let that guy take the kid home.
You call the cops.
You take the kid away from that guy.
And that's not what you're doing.
Was it confirmed that it was they were in the act of raping?
It was confirmed by that guy by the wide receiver coach said he heard a slapping sound.
And he went over to see and he saw the boy with his hands up against the wall.
Oh, my God.
I hadn't heard that.
Yeah, and Jerry Sandusky anally raping him.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
This is a rich vein for comedy, isn't it?
I don't know why I'm having a hard time coming up with jokes about this.
And Jerry Sandusky has been saying that he was horsing around and there was touching, but there was no sexual energy.
No sex.
You know, I've played sports for most of my life, showered many times with lots of men.
Never been any touching.
No, there's no touching.
Maybe accidentally bumped into somebody quickly an apology, but there's never been any just a tip, but that's about it.
But once it's in, there's a lot of side markets.
They're completely desecrating the very idea of horsing around, which I always thought was a fun thing.
And now they're turning horse.
Who doesn't like horsing around?
But they're turning it into a horrible, evil thing.
We were towel snapping, but we were using our penises.
That's it.
Yeah, that's his nickname for his penis, his towel.
Hey, Tolly.
Look how big you are today.
One man's horsing around is another man's felony.
Yeah, so that, okay, so we'll move on.
So now she had a panel on this week with Christiane.
And so they had a panel, and Christiane.
Let me guess the panel was really left-leaning.
It was very mixed.
So they had Jonathan Carl, right?
And he's a conservative reporter.
And then they had George Will on, and he's a super conservative reporter.
And then to balance it out, they brought in Dana Loesch, who was the Tea Party founder, who's a super duper guy.
So they had that.
And then they had Donna Brazile.
So it was a very balanced pipe.
They had a conservative, super conservative, and a crazy conservative and Donna Brazil.
So they like to balance it out on the Sunday morning programs.
And she asked Jonathan Carl, you know, you know, in Ohio, they overturned that union stripping, the SB5, it was called.
John Kasis passed that bill that would strip the rights away from the public employees to collectively bargain.
Well, they organized.
They overturned it, like 61% to 38%.
It was a big deal, right?
So this, and this does not bode well for the Republican agenda across the country.
She asked John Carl what he thought about it, and he said.
I'd be careful in reading too much.
Clearly, conservatives lost in those two initiatives you mentioned.
But look at the health care mandate in Ohio.
Ohio voted overwhelmingly every county in the state to reject the centerpiece of the president's health care plan, and by a bigger margin than the referendum that put away Kasich's plan on collective bargaining.
So I would be careful in reading much.
In fact.
So, yeah, so he says, be careful into reading too much into that.
Ignore the thing that's important that everyone was really focused on.
And then let's focus on the thing about the centerpiece to Obama's health care plan, which is they rejected in Ohio that you have to buy, that the government can make you buy insurance.
Right, right.
It doesn't have any bearing on anything.
Completely unrelated.
One has to do with your own personal health.
The other has to do with workers.
Completely unrelated.
And that doesn't mean that people want health that don't want health care reform.
That means that maybe the way that question was stated scared the hell out of them.
Well, if they're not going to let workers collectively bargain, then they shouldn't let corporations use the fact that they are using volume to drive down the price of something that they're purchasing.
You're saying it's an unfair advantage between a corporation and an individual buying health insurance.
Right.
Yes.
If a corporation is a person, then that should apply across the board.
And, you know, the Ohio voters have always been, that just shows how optimistic they are because they don't think they're ever going to get sick.
So that's the thing.
And Ohio is a great microcosm of the United States.
You know, there's that history that whatever red or blue Ohio goes in the presidential elections is usually what the barometer of what in 04 stealing the election was stealing Ohio was essential to his victory.
Essential.
And that was a barometer of his being a creep.
Okay, so that so that was Jonathan Carl and our great panel.
And by the way, not the first president to steal an election candidate did it in Illinois in 60.
Well, yeah.
Yeah, I guess, but he was running against Nixon.
So it's like, hey, you know, the guy, if you're running against Hitler, we'll let you fudge a few numbers.
Well, nobody knew that Nixon was the evil that he, yeah, but Kennedy's winning, though, the good that came of it was it enabled Chris Matthews to write a book that he could promote.
Do nothing promote on MSNBC.
Yes, endlessly.
Endlessly promote.
He literally has said, go out and buy this.
He's on his own show.
And also, he ties everything into it.
Like the Paterno scandal.
It reminds us of what Jack Kennedy did, as I said in my book.
You know, everything.
Obama, what could Obama learn from Jack Kennedy?
I just happen to have written this book about.
Let's be grateful this didn't happen in a convertible.
Okay, let's very quickly switch topics.
We're going to talk about Newt Gingrich.
Let's get to something feel-good.
Let's talk about Newt Gingrich.
He's moving up in the polls.
He is the new I Hate You Less Than Mitt Romney Republican of the Week.
He's considered the most serious and intellectual of the GOP crowd.
And the hungriest.
And he was also voted the skinniest guy at Fat Camp.
So it was kind of like the same thing.
And, you know, Newt Gingrich, who said he hates Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, right?
That's like...
He said that Chris Dodge should go to jail for taking money from said that Chris Dodge should go to jail for taking money from him.
Turns out Newt Gingrich actually received $1.2 million in consulting fees, aka lobbying fees, but he can't admit that from Freddie Mac.
You've got to be kidding, man.
No, not kidding.
That's true, it's true.
And, you know, admitting that you took money from Fannie Mae.
Him personally or his campaign?
Him personally.
Personally, he was a lobbyist for them.
He doesn't call it, what does he call it?
He was hired as a historian to do consulting for them historically.
Because it happened in the past.
It's history.
You know, this history.
You know, those historians that get $1.2 million from huge financial institutions for their history knowledge.
$1.2 million.
I guess they weren't asking him the history of the 1929 economic collapse.
I guess that's not what they were asking him.
As a flip-flopper, Gingrich makes Mitt Romney look like Bartleby the Scrivener.
I mean.
Okay, I'm going to get out my Dennis Miller.
I read that story, but I don't get it.
Bartleby the Scribner.
If we review, he wouldn't change.
He refused to.
Oh, okay.
But he can't admit that he was taking money for lobbying from Freddie and Fanny because in the Republican primary, that's worse than admitting you read a science book.
And it's like saying, I don't hate the gays.
You can't do that.
And still.
Also, he's against a mandate now, but he was for it before against the healthcare mandate to buy health care, which he approved.
He was for it at one point.
He was for it at one point.
Oh, he was deadly.
Oh, yeah, he was definitely in the middle.
In the 1990s, it wasn't.
All the Republicans were for it.
That's where Mitt Romney got the idea.
It came from the Heritage Foundation to have the mandate.
Oh, yeah, that was their deal.
So, because you don't want to have any freeloaders.
If you're going to have universal health care, you have to have a mandate where everybody buys.
Did they think there was going to be universal health care?
That was their response to Hillary Clinton's care.
Remember that?
So they thought it was going to pass and they were kind of hedging their heads.
So this is our proposal.
Should they want to do that?
We'll do this.
This is our proposal.
Their proposal was exactly what Mitt Romney did in Massachusetts.
I see.
Not universal health care, but everybody has to have private insurance.
Right.
Not single-payer, but still universal.
But that's not.
Universal is not the same as single-payer.
Okay.
So, yeah.
So Newt Gingrich was for that.
He's for it.
And let me just say, you know, what we have today is that the rich on Wall Street and the powerful at Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, they've had so many politicians beholden to them that, in fact, nobody was ever going to check them.
There's something profoundly wrong with today's system.
And, you know, I didn't come up with that.
I heard someone say that to me.
Who said that?
Who said that?
What you have today is that the rich in Wall Street and the powerful at Fannie May and Freddie Mac had so many politicians beholden to them that in fact nobody was going to check them.
There's something profoundly wrong about the current system.
You've got to be kidding.
And he took $1.2 million from those very people.
You've got to be kidding me.
Oh, too many people are beholden to Fannie Middle.
Too many politicians.
You know, when Newt Gingrich spends his Freddie Mac money on his mistress, he gets a hypocrisy hard on that last for over four hours.
I think he should get the, if there's a Nobel Prize in hypocrisy, he deserves that.
He really puts them all to shame.
Mitt Romney and Rick Perry and Herman Kane.
As far as, and plus he has like a longer history of any of them of this kind of thing.
Well, he got kicked out of the, you know, he got kicked out of being speaker, right?
I think he was the first speaker to ever be kicked out.
Well, he resigned.
He wasn't kicked out.
He resigned because.
And then he immediately started taking money from Fanny Maiden.
Yeah, he cashed in big time when he left office.
Immediately.
Yes.
And it's just, let me say.
So what you have today is that the rich in Wall Street and the powerful at Fannie Man Freddie Mac had so many politicians beholden to them that in fact nobody was going to check them.
There's something profoundly wrong about the current system.
Okay, that's I'll say that.
And he took $1.2 million.
I would say that out of all of the GOP candidates, Newt Gingrich may be the most loathsome of all of them.
It's just a low-down, loathsome human being.
I think also because he has way more of the facts than the rest of them.
And you can almost forgive Herman Cain because you get the feeling that he's just in trouble.
He's like a hobby to Kane.
Right.
You know what?
We're up against the clock.
Bill O'Reilly called me.
Jimmy Dore.
This is Bill O'Reilly.
Hey, Jimmy, I got good news and I got bad news.
The good news is I wrote a book.
How about that?
But the bad news is the liberal mainstream media, bloodthirsty baby killers that they are, have decided to attack the veracity of my tone.
You see, I chose to wrote a book about the Lincoln assassination because I felt that we only see that period of history through the eyes of historians and not through the eyes of shameless fact-denying cable TV hosts.
Historians for too long have monopolized history, Jimmy.
The tyranny of elitism.
And I'm freeing Lincoln's story from you lefty fact-mongers.
Did you know, for example, that Abraham Lincoln, despite what many in the Democrat Party say, actually survived his assassination, attempted Forge Theater?
Yes.
In fact, my research shows that he lived for many years after that and went on to have a successful career as the basis for Foghat.
The boys in the band called him Bearded Lightning.
You didn't know that.
During his bass solos, he would simultaneously extol the virtues of conservative thought to the crowd, like how slaves should be returned to their masters with interest, i.e., diligent midgets.
And that God made the moon, goddamn it.
However, the exhaustion brought on by Fogat schooling touring schedule, as well as bearing the brunt of writing and arranging their albums, Rock and Roll Outlaws, Fool for the City, and Stone Blue, left Abraham Lincoln with a debilitating Koiloot habit.
He was already on the verge of death when he was shot through his glasses while on a massage table in Las Vegas by one of the Corley On Family's engine.
Now, these are all facts, Jimmy Dore.
You can't dispute these facts.
I researched them.
And if you and anyone in so-called academia call them into question, you are retards.
I'm tired of politically motivated smears on my important work.
Now, if you excuse me, I have to get back to work on my study of play tectonics.
It turns out that the Continents move around on the backs of trillions of angry turtles who have Marshall Tucker band songs stuck in their head.
I'm on drugs.
Court is Mike.
Okay, that was Bill O'Reilly, and this is the Jimmy Doar show on Pacifica.
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All right?
Grim-faced military officers and ashen-faced politicians describe a horrific war zone with hundreds of people murdered and...
*music*
Welcome back to the Jimmy Door Show.
I'm joined in studio from the Mental Illness Happy Hour Podcast.
It's Paul Gilmartin, and from Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Cinematic Titanic.com, it's Frank Coniff.
And next to him, a former writer for the Daily Show, hilarious comedian Steve Rosenfield.
What's coming up on the rest of today's show?
Well, we're going to have phone calls from Herman Kane and Gordon Gecko.
We're going to talk about, there's a lot of things coming up to talk about.
Don't worry about it.
Right now, we're going to talk.
Here's our good friend Jim Hightower.
Grim-faced military officers and ashen-faced politicians describe a horrific war zone with hundreds of people murdered and, quote, citizens under attack around the clock.
Some of the politico say that the situation is so dire that, quote, it may require our military.
Like the frenetic Bush-Cheney litany of lies that rushed America into the senseless Iraq war.
What we're now getting is a similar burst of mendacity about Mexican drug violence spilling across the border into our country.
Rick Perry, the Texas gubernatorial goober, is even trying to make it a presidential campaign issue.
It is not safe on that border, he recently wailed to New Hampshire Republicans, suggesting that he might send U.S. troops into Mexico, quote, to kill these drug cartels.
Adding to this macho melodrama, two retired Army generals produced a study asserting that spillover violence makes the U.S. side, quote, tantamount to living in a war zone.
One of the ex-generals is Barry McCaffrey, the infamous hyperventilating fearmonger who once was America's drug czar.
At a press conference, McCaffrey pointed excitedly to hundreds of people murdered on our side of the frontier.
Really?
Hundreds murdered?
No.
His source turned out to be a South Texas rancher full of anecdotes about dead bodies found in the brush.
But the Border Patrol says these were unlucky immigrants who perished during the past several years trying to enter our country, not recent victims of Mexican cartels.
In fact, far from being a chaotic war scene, a study of the 14 Texas counties bordering Mexico shows that the number of murders have actually gone down in the past five years.
This is Jim Hightower saying, rumors of a Mexican cartel war in the U.S. are nothing but lies by self-serving political opportunists and self-aggrandizing military contractors out to line their pockets.
Hightower's commentary is brought to you by the Hightower Lowdown.
From Wall Street to Washington, this monthly newsletter reveals who's doing what to whom and why.
Check it out, Hightower Lowdown.org.
Okay, that was Jim Hightower, and you can hear Jim Hightower almost every week here on the Jimmy Door show.
And let's move on.
Let's talk about Occupy Wall Street in New York.
So what's been happening is this coordinated countrywide nationwide coordinated attack on the peaceful protesters by a bunch of, I don't know, brain-dead cops macing pregnant women and 84-year-old ladies and hitting college kids with batons.
You've never seen a baby used as a weapon, obviously, Jeremy.
You know what?
I haven't.
Well, not once to have a bad thing.
And why don't you hold your tongue until you've seen a baby shoot out of a woman and kill a cop?
You know what?
I should bite my tongue.
Thank you, Paul.
That's why you're here.
Okay, so now.
And the batons they hit them with, did they steal them from the Philharmonic?
I don't think so, Frank.
So here's billionaire Mayor Bloomberg, Millionaire Mayor Bloomberg, telling us how suppressing free speech is the responsible thing to do and some more perfectly reasonable reasons why he had to evict the Occupy Wall Street protesters.
Some have argued to allow the protesters to stay in the park indefinitely.
Others had suggested that we just wait for winter and hope the cold weather drove the protesters away.
But inaction was not an option.
I like how he frames it.
You know, either way, the important thing is we have to get rid of these people.
We all know we have to get rid of them.
Some people say just wait for the winner, but inaction is not an option.
We got to get rid of these people now.
And you know why?
Because all my billionaire friends were laughing at me at the billionaire club.
And I can't have this.
Okay.
Jimmy.
Hang on, there's a little bit more to what he has to say.
Hold on.
We could not wait for someone in the park to get killed or to injure another first responder before acting.
Yes, those protesters' lives were in danger because, you know, the mayor and the cops really wanted to kill them.
Very angry at them.
Very angry.
And the park is for everybody to enjoy, especially people who like things the way they are.
Exactly.
Okay.
Yeah.
Well, they need to clear the protesters out because I can tell you the awkwardness of poor people having to watch the shuttling of bags of money in and out of a building is very awkward.
It's very awkward.
And when he was saying we had to prevent the murders of innocent people, I think he was meaning like the rest of the ruling class, which always gets it when a revolution happens.
All right.
Is that who he's talking about?
Sooner or later, yeah.
Sooner or later.
You know, also, I think he went to add, also, this protesting in the park stuff is really starting to catch on.
So we got to get rid of it.
So, I mean, so when someone asked him, so it's all about safety for Mayor Bloomberg.
He said it's all about safety.
Why doesn't he let them?
He owns like five homes.
Why doesn't he put them up in one of his homes if he's so concerned about their safety?
So he's saying all this.
So someone said, what safety consideration?
What are you talking about?
What first responders were injured?
Have there been any reports of people being, and here's what he said to that.
There have been a number of everyday small either accusations, which are hard to prove when the police can't even get there to see what's really going on.
Huh.
So nothing.
So nothing.
He couldn't, so nothing.
They had not one document.
He's basing his actions on hearsay from Fox News.
Yes, basically.
And you can't even document them because when the cops tried to, you can't even.
So there were rumors of accusations of incidents of heaven knows what.
And this was starting to lead to widespread gossiping.
So we had to.
But you can't have.
Yeah.
So, you know, I just decided to throw everybody out of the park first and explain it all later.
And this is how the far right gets away with a lot of what they do is they preemptively, they create these rumors that they need to preempt the Iraq war.
They're trying to build a case for a war with Iran or at least attacking their nuclear capability.
So they, you know, they just create this storm that then they are the savior.
And I guess changing our financial system is not the option to deal with it.
No, That wouldn't work.
No, you couldn't do that.
You have to find a way.
Inaction is good there.
Inaction is perfect.
You have to find a way to, yeah, you can't change.
You can't actually do something that would be constructive for our society.
You just have to find a way to shut the people up who are pointing out.
It's very inconvenient to have people pointing out the screwy things that are happening in our economy right in the middle of the financial center of our economy.
Right.
So that's very, you got to get rid of them.
So.
Okay, now I wanted to read very quickly from my Facebook page.
I posted an article about the police brutality in Seattle where they're amasing pregnant women and 84-year-old ladies.
And because that's what you, you know, when anyway, so this guy stops by and says, well, Jimmy, a friend of mine is undercover in Seattle.
He has his men spending plenty of time with these nonviolent people.
He says the talk amongst them has and is violent with a want to escalate towards violence, violence towards innocent businesses who have nothing to do with the Wall Street situation.
If things do not play out the way they want, they're going to use violence.
Plenty of drug taking, two deaths already down there, and an obvious recruiting of those not so mentally sound into the movement.
What I'm asking you is what do they want to accomplish?
And what do you think, and what do you think they will accomplish?
So that was this guy.
I think that's a fair question.
I don't think that justifies them shutting protesters.
So what I said was, well, John, a friend of mine is also undercover inside the police department.
And he says all they talk about is bashing nonviolent protesters' heads in and macing old ladies and pregnant women.
And it's not just in Seattle, it's all over the country.
And it turns out they actually have acted on these plans.
I've seen videotape after videotape of cops beating the living crap out of nonviolent protesters, pepper spraying them, tear gassing them, even shooting a canister at an Iraq veteran's head and crushing his skull in.
And then the people tried to give medical aid to the downed veteran.
The cops threw a concussion grenade at them, which exploded a foot from his head.
I've heard that the government was even planning on blacking out the press when they moved into kick some ass.
And then, son of a bitch, the government blacked out the press in New York, just like in the scary movies.
So thanks for scaring me with your inside info, but even the BS stories about what the protesters might do don't sound half as bad as the crap the cops have already done repeatedly on video.
So that was kind of like my discussion.
I didn't see that post because I was looking at all the porn that was on Facebook this week.
Okay, so Paul, you had to preoccupy it.
One of the things that I wish that people in this movement would do is stop treating it like it's Woodstock and the chance to hang your freak flag because it takes momentum away from the movement and it delegitimizes anybody who hasn't decided yet how they feel about it.
Because I think a lot of America is probably one way or the other with it at this point, but there's probably also a lot of people that haven't decided.
And seeing you walk nude, smoking a joint around the park is not helping the cause.
There's a lot of nudity?
There's some.
There's been some.
Shut up.
I thought it was very good, though.
Is there enough nudity to warrant me making a trip?
That's why the cold is going to, I guess, put into all the nudity, right?
You know, yes.
So, you know, Paul, I hear what you're saying.
When I went down to Occupy LA, it didn't make me encouraged.
Me neither.
Because I expected to see those people.
I expected to see people, you know, the patchouli oil and the hippies and what have you.
And not that I disparaged those people, but I expected to see a lot more people who looked like me.
And I didn't.
And maybe it was because it was a time of day I went or whatever.
But I don't think Occupy LA is the same as Occupy New York or the same as Occupy Seattle.
I think that those, or Occupy Oakland, I think that those are different than Occupy LA.
Right now, anyway.
Yes.
Okay.
Right now.
I think if there was police action against the people in Occupy LA like there were in other cities, I think you would see a lot more people who look like us going down there every day.
Yeah.
But they haven't.
The cops have been great in LA as far as they don't do anything.
Right.
They just let them do whatever they want.
Which is nice.
They're not hurting anybody.
They're not, and they don't seem to be making a difference in LA because no one goes downtown.
Right.
Right?
You want to occupy something, why don't you occupy the Beverly Center?
Right?
Oh, yeah.
Occupy Hollywood Boulevard.
Occupy Pink's Hot Dogs.
You'll see riots.
If they try to prevent me from going to the Dairy Queen in the Beverly Center, then that's when I'll turn against them.
As hell to pay.
Yeah.
Okay.
I understand.
You can't cross some lines.
That's when.
Some, yeah.
Some people say, just wait.
Anyway.
You'll become Republican.
You know, the greed has gotten so bad on Wall Street, Gordon Gekko actually called me to tell me about it.
Yes.
Jimmy.
This is Gordon Gekko.
From the movie Wall Street.
That's right.
You've got fictional characters calling into your show now.
It's come to that.
I mean, really, how often can Bill O'Reilly be drunk dialing you?
Anyway, I wanted to take a quick break from insider trading and cheating on my wife to give you a ring on my humorously oversized cell phone.
I'm famous for saying that greed is good.
Technically, I said greed, for lack of a better word, is good.
There's a lot of film nerd nitpickers out there.
I learned that from the tribute page for
wall street on imdb.com but either way it's a sentiment that i still hold dear self-interest is the engine that drives our economy our society our culture i mean even a lefty like you has to admit that you are driven by self-interest yourself jimmy doar admit it i mean it's not as if you do a podcast a radio show and your own monthly live show all for
free is it but i had an epiphany the other day in my office while i was getting a blow job for my secretary and watching my dot matrix printer print green and white papers with financial number thingies on it greedy is the word for wall street people like me in 1987.
however greedy is not even close to sufficient to describe wall street in 2008 it'd be like calling ann coulter a jerk it's got to be a stronger word sure we were greedy but we just
wanted to make insanely large amounts of money it didn't occur to us to try to accumulate all money i mean we weren't psychopaths sure we We turned our noses up at the bridge in tunnel slums who couldn't afford to eat
where we ate but at least we understood that we had to pay a few taxes here and there so at least there would be bridges and tunnels to provide transportation For people that we turned our noses up at.
And all we wanted to do was sneer at the have-nots, not masturbate while thinking about the prospect of them and their families being tossed into an unmarked grave.
That's a little beyond greedy, don't you think?
People used to ask me, Gordon, how much money do you need?
How many yachts can you really use?
I used to laugh at that question, Jimmy.
But now I find myself asking the Lloyd bank fines of the world.
How many man-made islands off the coast of Dubai, built completely from a spiral network of marinas designed to house a navy of yachts, can you really use?
It's a bad sign when we have to start quantifying wealth in terms of fractals.
I guess what I'm saying is this: Gordon Gecko finds himself having sympathy, for lack of a better word, for the Occupy Wall Street movement.
Sure, they're a bunch of smelly drum circle playing patchouli monkeys, but they have a point.
When the game is rigged so blatantly in my favor, they have no chance, which is simply no fun for me and my yoke.
For Gordon Gecko, it's all about the game.
All right, Jimmy, I gotta run.
I'm eating Ivan Boweski and Michael Millikan over at the Tavern on the Green for a few highballs.
We've got a table reserved for us in the cigar room under bleeding heart socialists.
Ciao, baby.
Okay, that was the man, Gordon Gecko, calling into the show our first time for Gordon Gecko.
I kind of liked it.
Very poignant.
You know, he's not afraid to tell the truth.
He's got enough money he can afford to tell the truth, I think.
That's the point with Gordon Gecko.
All right, and you're listening to the Jimmy Door show on Pacifica.
And if you've missed any part of today's show, like you want to hear that call again or the other calls or all of our past calls, what do you do?
You subscribe to the podcast of this show, which is available for free at iTunes, or you go to my website, jimmydoorcomedy.com, where you can download the episode for free, and you can comment on old episodes.
We always like your comments.
Okay, now let's get back to today's show.
So you know how I like to watch Morning Joe in the morning because I'm just about to go to sleep and it comes on.
So, and normally it's the you like to go to bed angry.
Yeah, well, the anger keeps me up is what happens.
And so there was a snowstorm that struck in late October, killing at least 22 people around the eastern United States.
President Barack Obama signed an emergency declaration for New Hampshire and Connecticut.
And according to the governor of Connecticut, they had 6,000 people working on restoring power, which is seven times the number of crews they usually have working.
But still, early last week, there were lots of people still without power.
And Joe Scarborough knows the real reason that the power isn't getting put back on.
And it's not the good people of Connecticut Light.
I love that.
No, I love them, but there are structural problems.
You had one town that had been out of power for four days and had one power truck working it.
Well, that's just not.
And, you know, this is, I dare I say, because I'm asking the natives up there, what's causing this.
So he's just asking questions.
Joe Scarborough's just doing a little investigative reporting.
What's causing the problems?
And guess what it is?
And they say unions.
They say that you can only, you know, in Florida, where you don't have as tough union rules, I wake up in the middle of the night after a hurricane the first night.
And honestly, after Ivan, which was devastating, I looked out my window.
There were four Mississippi power trucks.
It was 3 a.m. in the morning.
By the time I woke up after this devastating storm, the power was back up.
Connecticut is a wreck.
Yeah, so, and you know who Mississippi is known for their great infrastructure work.
You know, it's, he makes a valid point.
Right-to-work states and brutal dictatorships always get the trucks rolling by 3 a.m.
Right?
And what a stroke of luck.
There's this big problem, and the cause of it just happens to be one of Joe Scarborough's biggest political boogeymen.
Isn't that something?
Isn't that somehow worked out?
And is there any better way to fact check than Joe Scarborough's anecdotal evidence?
He looked out his window.
There were three cars.
What do you want?
There was at three in the morning.
There it was.
I looked out my window.
Boom.
I've got the story.
I think of my bay window as a computer screen, and then I just treat that whatever I see.
You know, I'm surprised to hear Joe use the storm to attack unions.
I expected him to use it to disprove global warming.
Right.
And, you know, when you hear about a rapid response, you think Florida, don't you?
Right?
The last time the South responded rapidly was when black people wanted to ride in the front of the bus.
That was the last time.
Responded very quickly to that.
Very quickly.
Meanwhile, meanwhile, the guys sitting on the panel are just sitting there wondering whether there's any donuts left in the green room or not.
Daydreaming away.
They're sitting thinking, don't say anything.
I want to be bought back here and hike up my speaking fees.
Don't say anything.
My contract's almost up.
Joe Scarborough, it's the unions.
Then he went on to make a compelling argument that apples are the same as oranges.
And also, it was great that you were able to hear his argument against unions so clearly since there was a union crew at the studio.
And he's a union member and part of that union too.
So they were all able to deliver that message.
Yes, it was great that he was that the union people were able to quickly deliver the message about how crappy unions were.
Yeah, it's amazing.
Yeah, isn't that when there's, I always forget that when they're sitting there bashing unions, that the cameraman's in a union, the guy who's recording him is in a union, he's in a union.
He's in a union.
He's everyone's in a union in that room.
Everyone's in a union.
Isn't that interesting?
But unions are the problem.
Unions are, you know, Herman Kane.
Other people's unions are the problem.
Other people other than us in this room.
You're down with other OPU?
The problem with unions is when they affect people who they can actually help.
That's when they're when they help people like Joe Scarborough.
They're perfectly fine.
People who don't need money.
It's wrong for them to have a union.
Yeah, very much like Ayn Rand, right?
Where she was very much against society.
It's a rugged individual.
She ended up taking Medicare and Social Security at the end of her life.
So, you know, rugged individualism for everyone else, but she'll take the social programs, right?
Very much like Joe Scarborough.
Not that rugged.
Not that rugged, turns out.
So Herman Kane called me to clear some stuff up.
Ready?
Hey, Herman.
That's my home.
999 at the Joe Kio Town.
What you wearing?
At a boy.
What's your wife wearing?
Hey, buddy.
You just keep stirring it up, huh?
Oh, Jimmy, I can't catch a break.
So, Herman, tell me, what happened in Milwaukee?
Just walk us through.
Herman?
Herman?
And Now you're talking about the Milwaukee newspaper thing, right?
And Milwaukee is on Lake Michigan.
Even though Milwaukee is in Wisconsin, right?
Yeah, that's correct.
I just want to make sure we're talking about the same thing.
Sure, sure.
Herman?
Herman.
I got so many things whirling around my brain.
I know that.
Oh, Libya.
It's Becky, Becky, Becky, Becky, Becky, Becky Stan, 999.
It's all smashing together.
Like Supreme Mushroom, Green Pepper, Sausage, Olive, Onion, and Artichoke Pizza.
I never did nothing inappropriate ever to none of them.
So settle down.
I didn't.
It's all right.
Settle down.
Oh, I'm sorry, Jimmy.
I know.
I ain't no good at this.
I can't do this anymore.
I don't know stuff and I don't care to know stuff.
It's over.
What are you saying, pal?
I'm so tired, Jimmy.
I'm so tired.
I want to do this.
I want to make Mr. Coke proud of me.
The bitch is killing me.
But Herman.
You're killing me, Jimmy Dore.
Herman, you can do this.
I don't get it.
You know, you are the CEO of a major company that was pretty successful.
Yet when they ask you simple questions, you look like an intellectual lightweight to such a degree that it's embarrassing for the viewer.
How can this be?
Pizza business pretty much runs itself, Jimmy.
Okay.
Okay, that was Herman Kane.
And I wanted that.
That was it.
That's our show for today.
Oh, Jimmy.
That's okay.
That's our show for today.
Did you guys have fun?
I did.
Yes, I did.
All right.
And anything to promote?
Anything to plug anybody coming up?
I'm going to be doing my Republican character as the surprise.
I guess it's not a surprise now, special guest at the Paul Tompkins live show this Saturday night at Largo at the Coronet.
Oh, fantastic.
Oh, that's great for you.
Okay.
Anyone send him back to Titanic?
Yeah.
Well, I'm going to be performing with Jimmy Dore this Friday night at the Fake Gallery.
Oh, that's right.
At the Fake Gallery.
Unbelievable lineup.
It's a great show this weekend.
Margaret Cho and Jim Earl and Greg Fitzsimmons.
Yes.
Jackie Cash.
It's really going to be a fantastic.
That's at Melrose and Heliotrope.
That's actually 4319 Melrose Avenue, right?
The fake gallery.
Okay.
See you guys there.
You can get a link to that on my Facebook page.
Okay.
And Steve, I'll see you there too, right?
I'm going to be in the audience at the Fake Gallery of Mine.
And there is parking.
There's a rumor that there isn't, but there is parking.
There's a rumor there's parking.
Okay.
Not in that neighborhood.
No, I'm kidding.
There's plenty.
Okay.
Okay.
And that's today's show.
Did you enjoy it?
If you missed any part of today's show, you can always get a podcast of today's show for free.
How do you do that?
You get it at iTunes or you can go to my website, JimmyDoorComedy.com, where you can listen to the episodes for free, download them for free.
And we always enjoy when you comment on the episodes.
Okay, that's JimmyDoorComedy.com.
And how do you spell my last name?
D-O-R-E.
Okay, I want to thank everybody who helps write today's show.
Today's show was written by Jim Earls, Steve Rosenfield, Robert Yasamura, Steph Samurano, and today's show was produced by me.
But I want to give a special thanks to three people who help this show by donating their skills and times to it.
First, our web guy, Doug Stewart, who does a great job.
Doug Stewart, Frank Pulaski from Dreamy Time Films, who takes some of the bits we do on the show and he puts video to them.
And then he uploads them and they're on my YouTube page.
You can see about my Facebook page.
They're hilarious.
Thanks to Frank Pulaski over at Dreamy Time Films.
And a big thanks to Sean James, who helps us out with all our Mac problems.
If you have a Mac problem, he can handle it for you.
MacHelp at SeanJames.com.
S-H-A-U-N James.com.
Mac help at Sean James, and he'll take care of you.
All right.
That's all my thanks I have for this week.
And a big thanks for you for listening.
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