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April 21, 2011 - Jimmy Dore Show
01:01:02
20110421_The_Jimmy_Dore_Show_April_21_2011
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Time Text
It's the Jimmy Dore show.
It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper say.
It's hard to talk on your TV algorithm.
So sit back or sit up or keep driving.
And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore.
Hi, everybody.
Welcome to today's show.
We're in Studio B in Pasadena, and I am joined by the crew from CinematicTitanic.com and Mystery Science Theater 3000.
It's Frank Connoff.
Hi, Frank.
Hey, Jimmy.
And from Team Yasamura, Twittering, it's Robert Yasamura.
Hey, Robert.
What's going on?
And from TBS's Dinner and a Movie and the Mental Illness Happy Hour Podcast, it's Paul Gilmartin.
Hey, Paul.
Hello, James.
Well, what's coming up on today's show?
Donald Trump, the greatest businessman to ever declare bankruptcy in two different decades and then pretend to run for president.
Well, we're going to take a look into his campaign and have some fun with his interview with George Stephanopoulos.
He gets asked questions about stuff, he said.
And the rich guy comes off poorly and reveals how much a pretend presidential campaign can change you and your convictions.
Take abortion, for instance.
How did Trump feel before?
I'm very pro-choice.
I just believe in choice.
I'm for pro-life.
I am pro-life.
I've said it.
I'm very strong there, and I'm strong and pro-life.
Okay, and now he's been endorsed by Gary Busey, and he's worried that his campaign might be turned into a sick, disgusting joke.
We're going to look at Donald Trump's campaign.
Plus, Bill Daly, Bill Daly, Obama's new chief of staff, he took some time off from caving into Republicans to go on meet the press.
And I'm not saying he's cozy with Wall Street, but he does have a weekly s'mores and cuddle fest.
Okay, and we're going to get to those clips from the past three shows that we never got to.
Like Congressman Sean Murphy, who's cutting teachers' pay and has to admit that he himself makes $174,000 a year to a bunch of teachers.
But he assures them he's worse off than them, and he is working hard to make sure that no working class person will ever have to endure the indignity of making $174K a year.
And Jack Welch, the CEO of GE, which in his case stands for a greedy eagle maniac, explains to us today why he was willing to ship jobs overseas and why wasn't he willing to ship Jay Leno overseas.
And there's a new cologne out, and you're not going to believe the scent they've captured.
Bacon.
The recipe is apparently 10 years in the making and has undertones of pepper and citrus.
But mainly it uses the overtones of fried pork.
Yeah, that's right.
It's a bacon-scented cologne.
You know, for the fat, sweaty pig who doesn't just want to look like Rush Limbaugh, but smell like him too.
Plus, we do a vintage Tuesday with moron, Jim Hightower, and a lot, lot more.
That's this week on the Jimmy Door Show.
Okay, and we're back.
Now, well, before we, the big story this week was the S ⁇ P downgraded the Americans' ability to pay their United States' ability to take care of their debts, right?
They didn't actually downgrade it from AAA, but they did give a warning, right?
Well, here's the coverage that Brian Williams from NBC gave it.
Let's take a listen.
Here's 24 seconds of news.
Also, a shot heard around the world today.
The credit rating agency S ⁇ P this morning cut its outlook for the United States of America to negative, highlighting doubts about DC's ability to get the staggering national debt under control.
It was a setback on Wall Street.
The Dow plunged more than 250 points early on, but then cut those losses to finish down 140 points on the day.
Okay, that's 24 seconds of coverage on the biggest news story possibly of the entire year.
I appreciate that.
And here's what he didn't say.
Here's what Brian Williams forgot to tell you.
What he didn't say is that the S ⁇ P is a completely corrupt organization run by criminals that have bought off the government regulators.
So instead of them being the watchdog of Wall Street, they actually turned them into the linchpin that helped bring down the U.S. economy, destroy millions of jobs, and create record foreclosures and kick millions of people out of their houses.
He didn't tell you that part about the S ⁇ P. Or he didn't tell you that the same rating agency just played politics and did the bidding of the banks again by pretending that our problem is debt instead of a rigged economy, favoring a plutocracy on Wall Street and the criminal class that keeps taking bonuses while firing your kids' teachers, cutting your Medicare, Social Security, and pensions.
See, the objective risk by default by the U.S. government is not increased by the increased size of the deficit debt or the debt to GDP ratio.
And the S ⁇ P's view that the risk of default is increased by such increases only shows that the S ⁇ P doesn't understand the monetary operations of a nation sovereign in their own currency.
And of course, Brian Williams is never going to give you that information because he works for a bank.
That's something.
That's weird.
General Electric is a bank.
I didn't know that.
It's a GE capital.
So, Frank, you heard about the story this week.
Were you suspect of it when you heard it?
Of the S ⁇ P?
Yeah, Don.
Yeah, especially because of what you just said about the mortgage companies and made everything out to be hunky-dory back then.
And wasn't Moody's also a part of that too?
Yes, all the rating agencies were in.
Is that a rating agency or a blues album?
Moody's was covering companies that they were sorely understaffed to be giving ratings to anymore, you know, with the explosion of the number of companies, I guess, after the dot-com boom.
never admitted, listen, we really aren't following all these companies as closely as we should be.
And after the...
And they completely have.
I bought some stock in 2000, I think, when tech stocks were fairly, fairly hot.
This one was given a five-star, a Morningstar rating, the highest you can get.
It is still worth half of what I paid for it 11 years ago.
Well, that's what they would do.
Just like giving the remake of Arthur five stars.
Yeah.
But that is what they would do.
They would just, these junk mortgages, they would stick them in these packages that they would, these securities packages, and they would rate them AAA, even though they knew they were toxic.
And they were doing it over and over.
Well, at least they're paying the consequences.
Oh, at least, at least, yeah, everybody over at SP and Moody's went to jail and they all lost their job.
Oh, no, that didn't happen.
Teachers did.
The teachers got fired, and everybody else has to take a haircut.
Okay, I wanted to, that was my, that's been all over the news so far this week.
We're recording this show, by the way, on Wednesday of this week.
Normally, we record on Thursdays, but so if you're hearing this show and something happened at SP, now you know why.
Okay.
Now let's get on to my our favorite segment.
Ready, everybody?
Time for another Installment of Oh my God.
Okay, this is a first.
I'm going to actually read today's Oh my God segment.
I don't know if you heard about Marilyn Davenport.
She's an elected member of the Orange County Republican Central Committee.
Well, she sent out an email last Friday to a small group of Republican committee members in which it showed an image of Barack Obama posed like a family portrait.
They were chimpanzee and children and with Obama's face superimposed on the young chimp.
Hysterical.
You got to give it to her.
Man, that is.
And the text beneath the picture read, now you know why no birth certificate.
I didn't think it could get funnier, but I was wrong.
It gets better because then she gave her apology is what I really wanted to read to you guys.
So Davenport told the Orange County Weekly that she was, quote, sorry if my email offended anyone, but that she simply found it amusing regarding the character of Obama and all the questions surrounding his origin of birth.
And in no way did I even consider the fact that he is half black.
The thought never entered my mind until two other people tried to make this about race.
Yes.
Watermelon happens to be my favorite fruit.
And her favorite doctor is Dr. Zayas.
Yeah.
By the way, the two other people who made it about race are other people on the Orange County Republican Committee.
Yes.
Like, these are not, these are extremely conservative people.
And even they were like, what are you doing?
Yeah.
It wasn't like some crazy lefty liberal upset.
No, this is like, this wasn't Bob Scheer pulling the trigger.
This was like.
Yeah, because it's so, oh, what?
I made, I made our black president out to be a chimpanzee.
What?
Come on.
You know, I mean, she's either stupid or.
I think the most offensive thing is just how comedically hackneyed that is.
Yes, that's what I was going to say, too.
You say hackneyed, I say classic.
It offended me as a comedian.
I was offended on many different levels.
Well, the one comedian was upset was Leno because he didn't get to do it as a bit.
Well, there's actually, there was more to her apology.
So once she realized that that first apology wasn't really an apology and she caught a lot of hell for it, she came out with a new one on Monday afternoon asking for forgiveness for her, quote, unwise behavior just before the local Republican committee met for the monthly summit at a hotel in Irvine.
Quote, to my fellow Americans and to everyone else who has seen this email I forwarded and was offended by my action, I humbly apologize and ask for your forgiveness of my unwise behavior.
I say unwise because at the time I received and forwarded the email, I didn't stop to think about the historic implications and other examples of how this could be offensive.
Yeah, you have to, I ought to cut her some slack there because, I mean, that's a nice apology.
It doesn't, it takes a long time to think about how offensive a monkey picture with his face.
I mean, it's who's got a millisecond before you.
There's such incredible nuance and subtlety in the bit that it's hard to realize that it might offend some people.
It's really, it takes time to think that over.
It's a think piece.
Yes.
You see a cartoon like that.
You're like, you know what?
I better go away for a weekend and decide whether this is offensive or not.
I mean, you really have to.
When I saw the orangutan being lynched, I didn't realize what it was saying.
I just thought it was cute.
She ended.
Yes.
Who doesn't like a chimpanzee?
But you know what?
I'm sorry.
Speaking of unfunny people, the guy who does the Dilbert cartoon, he came out.
He's gotten in trouble before for sexist statements.
And he came out defending this.
This is true.
He was defending this woman saying that what about, you know, if you look on the internet, you can find photos of George W. Bush as a chimpanzee, too.
So what's the difference?
Okay.
You know, as if like a black guy and a white guy, like, there's no difference between them.
What is that?
Is there 400 years of racism history in America?
I don't know.
Against people from Kenny Bunkport, yes, I think so.
As if, right?
Yeah, it's a big difference.
Real quick, Scott Adams, also.
Oh, that's the guy's name, right?
Yeah, Scott Adams, also a huge libertarian.
And just got caught out.
Turns out that on message sites, he was his number one favorite.
Oh, that's right.
I saw that.
Yeah, that's hilarious.
He's a really awful human being.
The rest of her apology is, I would never do anything to intentionally harm or berate others regardless of ethnicity, she said in her apology, quote, except for this one time.
Except for this time, I guess.
Quote, everyone who knows me knows that to be true.
Okay, that's not true.
No, she hangs around with a bunch of white people who accept each other's form of racism because it's not, they'll hire a black person.
They'll go to a black person's house, but they still hold on to this thing that makes them feel good about themselves.
Yes.
That's my take on it.
Well, you know what?
The thing that really kind of undercuts her case is that I don't know if you guys remember in 2009, there was a former mayor of a small town in California who sent out a similarly racist email with the watermelons on the front of the White House.
Equally hysterical.
And she defended him in 2009.
So she's aware of this stuff.
It's not like she doesn't know.
Oh, really?
So watermelons and chimpanzees are right?
What else is going to be?
What else are you going to tell?
I can't do an ape either.
She also is doing commentary on the Amos and Andy DVD set.
Who dad?
So everybody, you know, everybody in this world has a defender.
So I was watching CNN and she had a pal from the Orange County Republicans come on.
Who of a Soledad hasn't at any given time either said something, sent something, or forwarded something we regretted doing?
Okay, that's true.
We've all forwarded and done something we've read.
Not that that.
Those aren't the same thing.
Right.
That's like, hey, you know, who had, like, you're defending Manson, who hasn't given an order that they wish they hadn't given, right?
I'm sure Sherman would.
Yeah, okay.
So, okay, here's more.
There's more.
She didn't sit there and go, ha ha ha.
Yes, she did.
That's exactly what she did.
She thought it was funny and she admitted it.
And type all sorts of stuff with it.
No, she didn't type all sorts of things.
Oh, so that's like that gets you off the hook that you didn't write LOL.
It's like, hey, hey, I heard you sent the email that made Obama look like a monkey.
Did you type a bunch of stuff with it?
No?
Well, then that's okay.
Well, I did.
Okay.
I wrote LOL, but not R-O-T-L-L.
So, which is so I wasn't dying.
By the way, she didn't send this to everybody.
She sent this to the people within the Republican Party Central Committee who she thought would think it was funny.
Yes.
Okay, so she knew this was like, okay, we're all white people here.
She didn't send this out to like family and friends.
Right.
And the only reason why she got mad afterwards is because somebody leaked it.
Somebody said exactly.
She actually even, in her first apology, made mention of the fact that she was upset at the person, the coward she called the coward who leaked the email.
Let me make this about me for a second.
Sure, it's been way too long.
Sure.
I do this Republican character who sometimes says awful things.
And it's occurring to me.
Am I just okay for me to do that?
Because I'm making fun of those people.
But am I hiding behind satire by having them say awful things?
No, because she's just saying this picture of Obama as a monkey is funny, you know, whereas you would, if you did that as your character, it would be, well, we're laughing because we know he's being a jerk because he thinks it's funny.
It's like Archie Bunker.
Yeah.
So, so I mean, that's that.
But Paul, you're right to ask that question because we get a lot of people who listen to this show and who are regular listeners of KPFK don't understand satire.
Yeah.
And they don't understand that the way sometimes the best way to make fun of the bigot or the idiot or the moron or portray them as accurately as possible.
Or the fascist is to shine the light, the light on them so you can expose them.
By the way, in the comedy community in general, I am finding, even at the most professional level, a lot of people who don't understand the difference between ironic racism and full-blown racism.
And that's how there are some people who will not get named, but who get television shows.
Carlos Mancia?
Oh, Carlos Mancia.
And the puppet guy.
Jeff Dunport.
Oh, Jeff Dunno.
Well, it's well known that those guys, I mean, it's no secret that Jeff Dunham's, a lot of his characters are at least mildly racist, right?
Yeah.
Okay.
Am I talking about that?
And he thinks he can get away with it because it's hysterically funny.
Yeah, but he's not saying it.
The puppet is.
But seriously, though, is it better that my character is doing it?
And why is it better?
I don't know why I'm not taking the side for me.
I'll tell you why.
Why?
Because when people are laughing, why is a puppet better than a satirical puppet?
Because he's not saying the puppet's an idiot.
They're all laughing with the puppet.
They're not laughing at the puppet.
All right.
I'm all right.
So when people laugh at you, they're laughing at you.
They're not laughing with you.
Okay.
And that's a big difference.
I think.
Thank you.
Okay.
So he's got more.
By the way, Jeff Dunham makes more money than just about anything.
Yeah, he makes so much more money.
So he couldn't care about you.
You stay for the politics.
You stay for the comedy theory.
Yeah.
I don't think Jeff Dunham cares about that.
Okay.
So here is.
Sorry to throw that wrench in there.
No, no, works there.
That was good.
It's good because we do get a lot of people misunderstanding the comedy sometimes on this show.
There's a lot of Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy was really racist.
But we point a lot of fingers on the show, and I just think sometimes we need to make sure that we're not being hypocrites.
So I like to pipe up where possible.
I like to be hypocritical and then ignore it.
Okay.
All right.
So here's more of this guy defending her.
And type all sorts of stuff with it.
She simply forwarded something on it that was relating to wonder why there's no birth certificate.
Now you know well.
And I don't.
That was all it was.
It wasn't a picture of a monkey.
It wasn't chimpanzee and quitting a black president with a well, he's relating it to the you know the birth certificate, which just ramps the racism up even more.
Yeah, he's different.
He's not one of us.
Because for those people, the birther issue is they're thrilled about it.
It's because it's the most socially acceptable form of racism that's come along in a long time.
That and Obama is a Muslim, which Donald Trump puts them both together now.
And it's just instead of, you know, if you go on TV and say the N-word, you'll get in big trouble.
But if you go on TV and say Obama wasn't born in America, he's a Muslim.
You'll get nominated.
You'll get suffering no consequences.
And it's just as racist to say that.
By the way, what wouldn't I give to find out that it turns out Trump has sickle cell?
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!
Ah!
All right, there's more to this apology.
I would never forward it out.
And I guarantee you, she'll never do that ever again.
Oh, she'll never do that ever again.
She just defend someone for doing it and then do it herself, but then she'll stop.
She is greatly apologetic for what she's done.
She's greatly apologetic.
Marilyn is a fine Christian.
Oh, there it is.
Of course.
She would never do anything to hurt anybody in any way, shape, or form.
She did not send anything out with premeditated intent to denigrate or offend anybody.
It was something that came in.
Knowing what she knows now, as some things have been explained to her, she greatly regrets the email being forwarded.
Yeah, Mr. Whitaker also told her.
Yeah, I'm sure that she greatly regrets it now, not after it's been explained to her, after she's been exposed.
That's why.
You know, this reminds me of the Bill Clinton getting the BJ thing.
It just shows what kind of judgment the person has.
You know, Bill Clinton was free to get that done, but it shows poor judgment.
Yeah.
Well, you know, most guys when they cheat on their wives use poor judgment.
She's claiming that she's really apologetic.
She's not.
Listen to her formal apologies.
He's way more apologetic than she was.
Oh, yeah.
And she, one of my favorite apologies she released this week was, I humbly accept your rebuke.
I'll take it.
I'm not admitting wrongdoing, but I'll take it.
Okay.
And if she sends out two or three more racist emails, the major consequence of that is she can become the Democratic candidate for governor in New York.
I know that's an old story, but that was Paladino.
Oh, Paladino.
Oh, he was Republican, though.
Oh, Republican, yes.
Okay, yeah, Carl Penny.
By the way, three racist emails gets you a free subway sandwich.
Okay.
This has been, oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
You know what?
I actually got a, I called her and I wanted to talk to you.
Really, Marilyn Davenport?
Shocked she took your call.
Well, she didn't.
I left her a message.
She called me, but she called me back here.
Hello, Jimmy.
Am I on one of those machines?
Okay, well, this is Orange County Republican Party Central Committee member, Marilyn Davenport.
And I, I guess, there's a big fodder all over the email.
I said to my fellow committee members, depicting Obama's head on a chimpanzee's body.
I mean, this has really created a hullabaloo.
What my mom used to call three Jews finding over a penny in a garbage can.
And by my mom, I mean me.
I say that all the time.
I don't get what the fuck is about.
Just like I said in my formal apology, it was a joke.
I'm not a racist.
I just think portraying a black man as a chimpanzee is hysterical.
You know, like a good Oriental joke, only about a black man, not a Chinaman.
And look, the real problem is not that I use Photoshop for brilliant comedic effect.
No, the real issue is who told?
I mean, honestly, what public servant would leak my funny, funny email to the media, which we all know is owned by the Jews.
And now, to a lesser extent, the Muslims.
As I said in my formal apology, anyone brave enough to come forward.
And by that, I mean, who was the Mexican who's been passing as a white person, and how can we get them out of the central committee?
Why should I be in trouble when this Mexican Judith is running around leaking my jokes to the wrong audience?
I'm not the bad guy here, okay?
Just because I say racist things and create racist artifacts in my spare time does not make me a racist.
As my friend and fellow committee member Kim Blitaker says, I am a polite and gentle grandmother, and that is why I will never resign from the central committee.
Just like my sweatshirt says on the front, I'm the world's greatest grandmother.
And on the back, it says, not a filthy Italian grandmother.
Well, it's been nice talking to you, Jimmy.
Dorothy and Christ, Marilyn Davenport.
Owen, this cheat machine isn't like an email that can be easily shared with the media, is it?
Boy, she is stupid, Beth Marilyn, huh?
Thanks, Marilyn, for calling in.
I appreciate it.
That was the voice of Jane Wilson, ladies and gentlemen.
That was great show.
Jane Edith Wilson, thank you very much.
Okay, we'll be right back.
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Okay, so, you know, we have a few other, I told you I was going to get to this story three weeks ago and then two weeks ago and then last week and we never got to it.
But remember how it started?
We were at Pat Buchanan, right?
The nicest, the nicest Christian to have a race bait and gay bash and AIDS victim.
He was really standing up for the working man on Morning Joe a few weeks ago.
He actually was.
Yeah.
He was not sarcastic.
He was going to play it.
They'll see what I mean.
People have a wait.
That's Jack Welsh.
So here is.
You're getting your white guys mixed up.
Yeah, I know.
Simple fact that the interests of corporate America and the interests of the country have diverged.
If General Electric is building plants in the United States, that's good for America.
But if they're going to make themselves more efficient by shutting down a plant here and opening it up in China or in Mexico or somewhere else, that may be good for GE and its shareholders and stockholders like me, but it is not good for America.
It is not good for the workers of America.
And that's what's killing these unions.
It's Republicans as well as Democrats who are in the back pocket of the business roundtable, authorizing them to go abroad and produce there and then export free to the United States of America.
Okay, that was Pat Buchanan.
Wow, you know, corporate America, you know, has gone too far when Pat Buchanan is defending unions.
Wow.
Yes.
And so, and here, so here's what Jack, first of all, here's what Jack Welsh says about unions.
This is pretty interesting.
Right to organize.
Every time we had a union organizing attempt at a plan, I'll guarantee you that we had a huss's ass running the plant.
And those people who didn't feel they had voice or representation, so we'd go out, throw the guy running the plant out, and within three months, the plant would be gone.
So let me ask you.
So what he's saying is that whenever there was a union organizing at a plant, it was because the management was horrible.
Yes.
And all they had to do was go in there and change the management, and then they wouldn't have.
So what he's making the case for unions is what Jack Welsh is doing.
He's saying when you unionize, when you organize, it actually has a big difference.
Management takes note and we change stuff and things get better.
That's what he's saying.
I think he doesn't realize he's saying the only reason you have a union is because some jackass is running the plate.
Yes.
That's exactly what we're saying, Jack.
That's why you need unions because the guys running it are.
Well, it's one of the benefits of having a union.
Well, that's why you need a union.
If we all had benevolent executives running our corporations, we wouldn't need unions, right?
I mean, if...
I think he's saying, well, when we have a weak lily-livered manager in there who didn't go in there and bust heads the first day he showed up.
Yeah.
Then, you know, we get, that's where we get the union problem.
But when we have somebody walk in there with an axe handle and a fire hose, stuff gets done.
I bet you're right.
He's not saying that, but that's what he means.
Here's how he, here's his counter argument to why it's cool for American businesses to ship jobs overseas, right?
And I apologize for the betting music, by the way.
It's his morning Joe.
They always had betting.
What's good for GE is not necessarily good for America.
Like, I think in general, if GE didn't move or GM or IBM or anybody else, Cisco, if you don't be competitive, no consumer in America says, let me see, I'm going to buy this refrigerator or something from GE because it's made here.
Even though it costs $100 more than the one from Samsung or the one from LG, customers want, you can't talk out of both sides of your mouth.
Customers want value products at a price, high quality, et cetera.
If G stays in these high-cost plans and tries to make something and say, I made it for America, buy it, then say, sorry, I'm taking the one next to it.
Yeah.
That just came in from Korea and Bolly Girls the first one to buy it.
So how about you pay your executives less?
How about that?
How about that?
And you be a patriot and you keep the plant here.
Yeah, how about you figure out?
Yeah, what could go wrong?
Yeah, yeah.
So you just keep outsourcing jobs to the cheapest labor around the country.
You undercut unions, working people in the middle class here in America, the people who buy your products.
What could go wrong?
What could go wrong?
What they're doing is they're trying in those countries to forestall labor movements.
They are just crushing them.
I mean, it's awful.
Yeah, but do you see we still get an iPhone at a decent price?
And we're up against a hard break.
We'll be right back.
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Okay, and we're back to the Jimmy Door Show.
I'm in studio from Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Cinematic Titanic.com.
Frank Conniff from Team Yasamura, it's Robert Yasamura.
And from TBS's Dinner in a Movie and the Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast, it's Paul Gilmartin.
What do we got coming up on the rest of today's show?
We have Jim Hightower stops by to bump us out in a folksy voice.
We're going to go over the Trump campaign, and we're also going to talk about the new bacon scent that everybody's talking about.
That all the kids are talking about.
Right now, all the kids, right now, here's Jim Hightower.
House Speaker John Boehner, Majority Leader Eric Cantor, and Budget Chairman Paul Ryan like to portray themselves as the three budgeteers.
Decrying deficits, the GOP sharp-eyed slashers of federal spending are galloping through Congress with swords flashing, severing billions, nay, trillions from the national budget.
Medicare for seniors, behead it.
Food stamps for the poor, whack them.
Environmental protections, eviscerate them.
Consumer agency, kill it.
Practically all of the slash and burn rampage by the three budgeteers comes at the expense of America's middle class and the poor.
For corporate powers and the wealthy elites, however, the dynamic trio offers more governmental gimme, including a one-third cut in their tax rates.
The budgeteers are also demanding that government workers take cutbacks.
But wait, aren't Boehner, Cantor, and Ryan workers too?
Well, yes, but very special workers.
So when they recently took our government to the brink of a total shutdown, guess who they rushed to protect?
Not emergency responders, toxic waste cleanup crews, air traffic controllers, or millions of other federal employees we count on, but themselves.
In the Senate, Barbara Boxer had passed a bill to suspend the paychecks of all Congress creditors if the government shuts down.
But the three budgeteers blocked it in the House, thus protecting the $174,000 a year that each lawmaker sucks from us taxpayers.
But then the GOP threesome cynically tried to trick the public about their perfidy.
They made a show of approving a House version of the Congressional Pay suspension, but tucked it into a bill with zero chance of passing.
This is Jim Hightower saying, Boehner, Cantor, Ryan, remember those names.
They think they're clever, and they are hoping that you are stupid.
To get more of Jim Hightower's populist take on what Wall Street and Washington are up to, visit www.hightowerlowdown.org.
Okay, thanks, Jim.
I appreciate it.
Now let's talk about, and you can hear Jim Hightower almost every week here, can't you?
Yes, you can.
Okay.
Right now, let's talk about the now.
We've talked about the Trump pretend presidential run and the fact that he's talking like a crazy redneck.
Polling at 17%, people.
So here's Gary Busey endorsing him.
Would you like to hear that?
Donald Trump has a wherewithal, the knowledge, the awareness of this country.
He wants to turn it back to where the founders had it.
Wear a helmet, ladies and gentlemen.
Wear a helmet.
So here he is.
he invented a little acronym for Trump's name.
I created abyssinism for his last name.
T-R-U-N-P stands for Taking Redirection, Understanding Massive Power.
Oh, that's very catchy.
You know what?
I made a beucy.
It rolls off the tongue.
I made abuseism for Gary Busey's last time.
Oh, you did?
Yes.
So it's B-U-S-E-Y.
Boy, you sure are fucking crazy.
That was pretty good.
Okay, so let's play the Donald Trump flip-flop on abortion.
How did he feel about abortion a couple years ago?
I'm very pro-choice.
I just believe in choice.
And how does he, what about now when he wants to appeal to the crazies?
Look, I'm for pro-life.
I am pro-life.
I've said it.
I'm very strong there, and I'm strong and pro-life.
He's strong on parliament.
I'm pro-ende on pro-life.
Yeah, and there, too.
So here he sat down with Contessa Brewer, and she asked him, no, when you see him being interviewed, it's obvious he doesn't know a lot of the stuff he's talking about.
And so here she's going to get to the abortion question and watch how he doesn't know what she means.
Is there a right to privacy in the Constitution?
I guess there is.
I guess there is.
So just out of curiosity, why do you ask that question?
Just out of curiosity.
Why do you ask that?
Why do you ask that question?
Because you're freaking talking about abortion.
You just flip-flopped on me.
That's why I'm talking about it.
Here's the rest of his answer.
Well, I'm just wondering how that squares with your pro-life views.
Well, it's a pretty strange way of getting to pro-life.
I mean, it's a very unique way of asking about pro-life.
Why are you, what does that have to do with privacy?
How are you equating pro-life with privacy?
About the Roe v.
Wade decision.
Yes, right, sure.
Oh, yeah, right.
Oh, sure, right, right.
Yeah, I forgot.
I should know that.
Yeah, you know what?
How are you putting those two together?
He says, you know what?
You know what, Donald?
I'm going to go ahead and put those two things together the same way the Supreme Court did.
That's how I'm going to put the right to privacy together.
You know, when they made abortion legal, you know, you know what's really interesting, Donald, is that you couldn't put those two things together when she asked you.
Yeah.
Of course it's implied.
Of course it is.
I have to say, Robert, you talking about the right of privacy is a really weird way to get to the right of privacy.
Yeah, how are you putting those two together?
I don't know.
Right to privacy with right to privacy.
I don't get it.
You know, so when he, you know, we also, I played a couple weeks ago when he was on the view saying that stuff and the crowd was cheering and it kind of upset us.
And, well, here is, he went, he sat down with George Stephanopoulos the other day.
And, well, here's some examples of how that turns out when he's facing a journalist instead of sitting down in a knitting circle.
Okay, here we go.
So he's asking him about the birther stuff.
Exactly what you're getting at.
For some reason, no, they're not the facts.
He doesn't have a birth certificate or he hasn't provided.
He's given a certificate of live birth.
It's a much different live birth meets the standard of non-partisan citizen.
George, there were contemporaneous reports and two.
George co-opted you.
George, they've co-opted.
Who's they?
It's not obviously Obama and his minions.
Minions.
Donald Trump should probably rethink his campaign slogan.
It's just a poster with his face and it says, Donald Trump, who do you need me to be?
Yes, that is exactly what it should be.
They've co-opted.
Well, remember, I said I can't wait for the, who's going to ask him?
Because he said on the view that, you know, I have my people, investigators on the ground in Hawaii, and they can't believe the things that they're finding.
And I'm like.
They're finding that it's really nice in Hawaii and stuff.
Yeah, that's what they're fighting for.
They can't believe it.
They can't believe that there's a nude beach in walking distance.
He's right over the hill.
And it's right there.
Yes, they can't believe that.
So I was like, so what's going to happen when a reporter says, hey, what's some of that stuff that they can't believe they found out?
Can you tell us some of it?
Because apparently he already knew some of it a couple weeks ago.
So wouldn't you share that stuff instead of just bringing up the old art?
Well, here, George, here's how that goes.
You sent investigators to Hawaii, and you said, quote, they cannot believe what they're finding.
What happens?
What have they found?
Well, that's none of your business right now.
We're going to see what happens.
Have they found anything?
We're going to see what happens.
What have they done?
We are going to see what happens.
When, George, next question.
Okay, you know, you know, it's none of your business, which is what I love.
He goes, it's none of your business.
Well, you know.
No, you're on a show.
He's a reporter.
He's the one that brought it up in the first place.
Oh, I can't believe what they're finding.
And, you know, and for one thing, if they were really finding out stuff, it disqualifies Obama to be president.
So it's the biggest news story of all time.
Yes.
So it's like, well, tell us, what have they found?
Hey, that's none of your business.
Well, first of all, you're a public figure.
You made a statement, and he's a reporter, and now he's going to ask you about it.
You made a public statement about the president.
And so now he's going to ask you about it.
It's everybody's business.
What are you talking about?
It is literally his business.
Literally.
It couldn't be more his business.
It couldn't be more of his business.
Donald Trump, friend of the show.
Let's be nice.
Has he officially thrown his hat in the ring or no?
No, he's not going to.
Because when you think he's just leveraging this for ratings for a show.
For one thing, he never, he doesn't want to, I think, ever release his financial records.
And I think that right now the press should be saying, you made these crazy, these accusations about Obama's birth certificate, just speculation.
Hey, maybe he says he's Muslim on it, and that's why he doesn't want it released.
So why don't you, to show you're not like that, why don't you put out your financial records so that we don't just have to take your word for it about what it says on it?
Because that's what he's saying about Obama.
You know, we're just taking his word that it, you know.
Oh, that's great.
Yeah.
You know, and so I really wish that the media would be really, really pushing him on that.
Play him at his own game.
He's never going to release them, I bet.
And I think he, you know, he's never going to run.
He pretended to run once before in like, I think, 1988, and then he pretended to, or 92, and then he pretended to run in 2000.
He was going to, he's not, he's not.
He likes the attention.
One of the reasons he was saying that he should be voted for is because over Mitt Romney is because he has more net worth than Mitt Romney.
You know, so he literally said that.
If people see his financial records, there's a possibility they're going to see, oh, he's in debt.
You know, he gets an income from a corporation or something, but he's not the big CEO that he makes himself out to be.
Right.
Well, a lot of places, a lot of, just take his name.
A lot of properties will just, they'll pay him some money so they can put their name on their property because it helps raise the rents.
Isn't that funny?
Wow.
I didn't think Trump's name actually carried that amount of.
I have to say, too, like, if I had ever had the money to move into a Trump place in New York, like maybe there's some with good views of Central Park West.
Maybe if I was a rich guy, I might have been tempted at some point.
It's a totally hypothetical thing, but I'm just saying, right now, at this moment, if I lived in a Trump property, I would be so ashamed of myself.
Oh, I know, right?
Wouldn't you be?
It's like living in a Glenn Beck property.
It's his back out from there.
All right, let's move on to the bacon cologne, shall we?
That's enough of Donald Trump.
I just thought him having that confrontation with George Snuffalopagus was hilarious.
It's great.
It's none of your business, George.
Next question.
Move on.
We'll find out.
Stop asking me these things.
You've been co-opted.
Yeah.
No, you've been caught.
You've been caught in a lie.
Let me play this.
We're going to shift gears and go into the bacon cologne.
And let me just play.
So here, I was watching MSNBC and Matt Miller, who's the moderator for Left, Right, and Center, which I don't know if you listened to it last week.
It should be called Left, Right, Right, and Right.
Because that's exactly what I'm saying.
Robert Shearer and then Robert Shearer and then Matt Miller.
And then they had Ariana, not Ariana, but Madeline.
Tony Blankly and Mary Madeline.
Mary Madeline, right, James Carville's wife.
So, and, you know, I love, and I know Matt Miller likes to think he's a moderate, but that if you're a centrist these days, well, the political debate has shifted so far to the right.
If you're in the center of that, you're somewhere in the middle of the right.
Right, right.
Exactly, yeah.
So, I mean, look, look what the so anyway, so that's why you don't get to say you're a centrist, Matt.
You're not.
So, would you, if you were a centrist in 1996, is that the same thing as a centrist in 2011?
I don't think so.
So, anyway, well, that's well, so here he is, and they gave him, they wrote a joke for him to say, now, this is where I'm going to cut him some slack, but we're going to enjoy how poorly this joke is pulled off, okay?
So, he has to deliver this joke, and then he does the classic mistake of here.
We go: Bacon, or rather, Bacone, as its creators would have us pronounce it.
The recipe is apparently 10 years in the making and has undertones of pepper and citrus, but mainly it uses the overtones of fried pork.
And the creator says he's already received more orders than he can handle.
The big question is: which type of suitor is attracted to bacon cologne?
After all, no one wants to be seen as just a piece of meat.
Truth is, I'm wearing it now, which may account for why the crew here is pulled back about as far away from me as they can get.
Just kidding, folks.
Still ahead here on the DR. Wow.
That's my favorite.
He has to let you know he was just, he's not real.
You guys, I know you were worried.
Like, oh, those crew members are mean.
No, no, no, no, he's counting.
How am I going to see him now?
The crew members have moved back.
It's just a joke.
He's, Frank, he's joking.
Oh, he's just kidding.
He's just kidding.
I want to hear that part again.
Truth is, I'm wearing it now, which may account for why the crew here is pulled back about as far away from me as they can get.
Just kidding, folks.
Still ahead here.
It's even more fun the second time, isn't it?
Yeah.
That fell flat.
That's how a non-comedian does.
But I want to tell you.
Just kidding, folks.
Okay, let's, we, and we have a few moments.
Let's go ahead and we'll talk about our favorite Wisconsin Republican, Sean Murphy, who makes about $174,000 a year, told some public school teachers that he was worse off than them.
Let's listen to what he had to say.
I guarantee you, most of you, I guarantee you, more debt than all of you.
Okay, I guarantee you.
I have more debt than all of you.
Okay, so here's the town hall meeting that Sean Murphy is conducting in Wisconsin.
And he's explaining to them why he's backing Governor Mark Walker's plan to cut the pay for teachers and nurses and social workers.
And he's asked a question by a guy who just lost his job and whose wife is a teacher.
I'm a builder.
I haven't been building too many things in the last couple of years.
The economy's down.
My wife is a teacher.
I'm fortunate enough to take a bus driving job.
Love it.
Just love it.
But it's not very much money, of course, but it's working for us.
And I'm just wondering what are congressmen, senators' wages.
My wife is going to have to take a cut if this bill passes through.
And I'm just wondering what your wage is and if you guys would be willing to take a cut.
So the question is, what is my wage?
And I'll ask you a question.
I'll get to it in one second.
I get the congressional salary is $174,000.
So if you look at benefits of the federal government office, I get the same benefits that the director at the Department of Health and Human Services gets.
They get the same size of your business.
Did you hear what he just said?
He said, as far as benefits go, I get the same benefits as the janitor at the Department of Health and Human Services gets.
Yeah, and you make $174,000 a year.
Okay.
So he's trying to cry poor to his own constituents who he's saying they need to take a pay cut right now.
There's a basket that we all get.
And the benefits that are offered to me as a congressman don't really compare to the benefits that you get as a state employee.
So he's saying that you guys have better benefits than him.
You got you state employees, you teachers and stuff.
You got it made.
You guys got it made.
Yeah.
It's what he's saying.
And I just, I just experienced that myself.
I'm not nearly as good.
But $174,000, that's three times.
That's three of my families.
Three times what I make.
Yep.
Just like that.
Yep.
It's three times what my favorite.
Yep.
Should be six.
Yep.
That's what he's thinking.
I know.
Yep.
Can you?
I'm way too close to you financially for my comfort.
I'm totally taking a pay cut to be next to you, builders and teachers.
How did this get so out of line?
$174,000 a year for a congressman?
So did you move your country's salaries?
So they asked, somebody just said, did you move to cut your salaries?
And he says.
He moved to cut his office budget by 5%.
That's not the same thing as taking a day cut.
I guarantee it.
Most of you, I guarantee it, more debt than all of you.
I guarantee you I have more debt than all.
Okay.
So you're an athlete with bad financial.
And you know why you have more debt than the rest of everyone sitting there?
Because you have more stuff than everyone sitting there.
That's why you have more stuff than everyone.
And by the way, they didn't want to let this clip out.
This got out accidentally.
Yes.
Even after it got out, they tried to bring it.
Yes, yes.
They did try to.
And that's why I had to get this down right away when it went up on the internet.
I got it right away.
I love him saying, like, I make $174,000.
I'm struggling.
You guys should take a pay cut.
I'm struggling.
And the thing is, I don't doubt it.
He's got six kids.
He's got to maintain two households.
Yeah.
Yeah, imagine how tough it is for someone with a third of your salary.
Right.
Also, it's very expensive to lead a secret gay sex life.
That really adds to the debt.
We need some attorneys in on that, Frank.
I want to get away from it.
Where is his certificate that proves his heterosexuality?
Why does he not show that?
Just show it.
So we can put it to rest.
I showed it.
I got my NASCAR card right next to my long-form birth certificate, right next to my KKK card.
Who else?
Let's listen to the rest of this.
There's a couple of more seconds here.
I still pay off my student loans.
I still pay my mortgage.
I try to use mini-grand.
I can think of it high in the hard.
I got one page at the same time.
Of course, you're living high in the hog.
But if he's not living high on the hog, look at how much not living high on the hog those other people who don't make nearly as much money as not understanding.
He thinks people are saying you're rich.
No, we're not saying you're rich.
We're saying you just make three times and you're not being asked to sacrifice the way exactly.
And that is the thing he is.
You're right, Frank.
He is not getting that.
If it's tough for you and you make three times what these people make, imagine what it's like for them, jackass.
I think that's the central thing with right-wing people is they don't empathize.
They lack the ability to put themselves in other people's shoes.
Well, they've made selfishness moral.
That's what they've done by saying that the free market is the arbiter of everything that is good.
And linking that to Christianity.
And when, yes, so, and Jesus is for free markets, competition, and what that brings out the best in everybody and that career, and that's moral.
And that's the whole, It's not, though.
And while there's a grain of truth in there, there's many, many, many butts to it.
A well-regulated economy, a well-regulated capital.
No one wants a no laissez-faire.
Well, some people do.
Certainly.
One of my favorite things to do is to go through the New Testament, and every time it says Jesus, I just write in Ayn Rand.
There we go.
I struggle to meet my bills right now.
I don't make it easier for me if I get more paychecks.
Maybe.
But at this point, I'm not living high in the heart.
I have no problem.
You know what?
I think the show took a step out and go, Can everyone do more with us?
Absolutely.
And the pen is if we want to say that's how let's have Republican players across the board.
Take a percentage decrease because if you look at the benefits that I got right now, they're consistent with the proposal I think that have been made by the governor.
So he see he just proposed.
Hey, if you want to take a cross-the-board pay cut for all the state employees, and here's what someone says back.
Let's take a pay decrease.
Let's go across the board and all the trends, hands together, so let's all take a pay decrease all time again.
Absolutely.
I wouldn't say all public employees.
I would say, let's look at the elected officials.
Wow, that's a lot of money.
How many congressmen do we have?
And how many senators do we got?
435.
Wow.
Well, the thing that is a little disheartening there is that the guy is a husband of a teacher, doesn't know how many congressmen we have.
How many congressmen do we have?
And senators?
Really?
435?
Wow.
Wow, I didn't die.
That's a lot.
Yeah, maybe you should ask your wife before you stick up at the next thing.
How many, yeah, okay.
And now it's time for a classic Tuesdays with moron.
This is from January of this year when all the birds were falling out of the sky dead and fish were showing up dead in rivers and we didn't know what was happening and when Sarah Palin was in the news for putting crosshairs on maps of her political opponents.
Enjoy this Tuesdays with Moron.
*Bell rings* Bye.
Thank you.
Hey, it's Jimmy.
Who's this?
Hey, Jimmy, how you doing?
It's moron.
Hey, moron, how's it going, buddy?
Ah, Jimmy, you know me.
I'm a good American.
I want the government to keep the grubby fingers off my Medicare.
Gotcha.
And I find comfort in the knowledge that my Lord Jesus hates exactly the same people that I do.
What's going on today, buddy?
Jim, Jare about those birds falling out of the sky?
Yeah, I heard about it.
It's pretty scary.
Trace's cousin called up in a panic.
Why did he call up?
Because the birds were falling on his house.
He thought it was Armadedan.
You mean Armageddon?
He lives in BB, Arkansas.
Where?
BB.
But what, baby?
No, Jim.
BB.
And what state?
Arkansas.
Ark in what?
Arkansas.
How do you say Arkan what?
Saws, Jim.
Oh.
Saws.
Okay, saws.
I got it.
Ark and saws, Jim.
What do you got?
Shit in your ears?
No, I just like to hear you say Arkansas.
Well, I told him, calm down, and then I turns on the news, and they go, oh, no, it happens all the time.
You mean the dying?
Yeah, this happens all the time.
And so then I told him.
And didn't help.
No, no.
What happened?
He's still freaked out.
Why?
He's like, well, if it happens all the time, how come we don't hear about it?
I'm like, I don't know.
Internet.
What does that mean?
Internet?
I don't know.
That's what the guy on Nightline said.
Because these birds are because of the internets.
What?
That doesn't mean we couldn't find these dead animals before without the internet, I guess.
Does that make sense to you, Moron?
No.
It doesn't bother you that that doesn't make sense to you.
I figure if it's good enough for the news guy, it's good enough for me.
And it doesn't bother you, like that you don't have any clear answers to why any of this stuff is happening and it might be horrible.
Yeah, yeah, sure.
It bothers me.
And what do you do with that?
I just stuff it down or ignore it.
Yeah, but that doesn't solve the problem.
Nothing's going to solve the problem.
See, that's the problem with you liberals.
You run around worrying about stuff all the time and you get sick over it.
We think irritable bowel and you get an upset stomach and a headache and psoriasis and backaches.
Okay, Moron.
We don't get none of that stuff.
What do you mean?
What we get worse thing is like my dad and both my uncles have inflamed livers.
Well, what do you get that from?
Anger and drinking.
So Moron, what do you think about the fallout over Sarah Palin putting the crosshairs on the thing and then that congresswoman getting shot?
As if there's a connection, Jim.
Why not have another drink from that cup of stupid?
You can't blame Sarah for this.
Nobody's blaming her for it.
I mean, how could they blame Sarah Palin for this, right?
All she did was put that woman in the crosshairs on the map and then tell people to not retreat but to reload.
And then she told everybody that Barack Obama hated America and that he was a terrorist hangs around with terrorists and stuff and that he was ruining our country.
He was a socialist and that we should take back our government and that maybe they would use second amendment remedies.
I mean, how could that stuff be misconstrued?
Because some guy who's crazy went and killed someone.
You know, Moron, when you're right, you're right.
Thank you, Jim.
Did you tell him what you got it?
Teresa.
Come on, tell me, Moron.
What?
You know, it goes right inside the purse because everything's hard to find it.
It's all a mess.
And then you kangaroo keeper, it goes right inside your bag or purse and it helps you organize things in a snap.
It fits all sizes of bags and purses.
Helps you change your bag easily, too, you know?
Wow, well, that's that's important.
There's a place for everything, and everything has its place.
Moron, is this thing really necessary?
Oh my god, how can you live without it?
I mean, does it really work?
You can find you can find everything in your purse now in a snap.
Really?
It organizes your purse and organizes your life.
What's that, Teres?
That's my phone.
I'll get it.
Okay, she's getting it.
Oh, it should be easy for her to get it.
Trace, get it.
I can't find it.
What do you mean you can't find it?
I gave you the kangaroo thing.
I can't find it anymore.
Teresa!
Get the phone!
It's in the kangaroo thing!
It is my reason!
Jimmy, hold on!
I gotta go!
Teres!
It's in my jacket!
I ain't got chimp, chimp, I gotta go.
I gotta go.
I can't get an organizer.
There it is!
It was in my coat!
I need a kangaroo for my coat!
I'll get you, Kangaroo for you.
Okay, that was Tuesdays with Moron.
Today's show was written by Mike McRae, Frank Coniff, Robert Yasamura, and Steph Samurano.
Impressions and Voices by Mike McRae, Jane Edith Wilson, and Steph Samurano.
And thanks to my guests, Paul Gilmartin, Frank Conniff, and Robert Yasamura.
And I'll see everybody at the Portland Comedy Festival tonight, April 21st.
It's Poppin' Politics at 7 p.m. at the Mount Tabor Theater mainstage at the Bridgetown Comedy Festival in Portland.
And on May 4th, I'll see everybody up in Seattle at the People's Republic of Comedy Show.
That's May 4th in Seattle.
You can find all the links and information to all these shows at jimmydoorcomedy.com, where you can also subscribe to the podcast of this show for free.
That's jimmydoorcomedy.com.
And my last name is spelled D-O-R-E.
And special thanks to everybody for going to ProFlowers.com and getting our special tulip steal and helping support the Jimmy Doer show.
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