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Oct. 15, 2010 - Jimmy Dore Show
56:50
20101015_The_Jimmy_Dore_Show_-_October_14_2010
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The content of this show does not necessarily reflect the viewpoints or position of the station's management.
This show is irreverent, topical, and main purpose is to taunt and entertain by using humor to examine the various issues that our nation currently faces.
Jimmy Dore pokes fun at the government and the easily misguided, like the media.
Remember, being politically correct doesn't mean you lose your sense of humor.
Au contraire, the Pacifica radio listening audience from LA to New York, they get it.
Jimmy Door examines politics and world events through a variety of comedic devices.
Sure, the various comic subtleties and nuances of satire may be lost on the usual amateur radio listener who only knows to laugh when provided with a sound effect to help indicate humor.
If Jimmy Doer live tickles your funny bone while agitating your brain, then he's done his job.
Remember, some people are boring and some people make you want to call the radio station.
You're listening to Jimmy Dore Live on Pacifica Radio, listener-supported public radio that kicks ass.
It's the Jimmy Dore Show.
the show for gut-minded, low-libered lefties.
The kind of people that are It's the show that makes Anderson Cooper say It's hard to talk to you, T-Baggy.
So sit back or sit up or keep driving because it's the Jimmy Dore show.
And now, here's a guy who sounds a lot like me.
It's Jimmy Dore!
Hey, everybody, and welcome to the show.
We are in studio.
I have the Jimmy Dore powerful political crew.
If you could think of a more clever title for them, please.
The Jimmy Dore players.
Oh, sure.
Sitting across from me is Ben Zalavansky from Ben and Alex.tv.
To his left is Paul Gilmartin from askarepublican.com.
And next to me is Robert Yasamura from TeamYasamura.com.
And I'm Jimmy Dore.
And what are we going to be talking about today?
Well, first of all, Carl Palladino again, huh?
We must stop pandering to the pornographers and the perverts.
That's right.
He has reverted to gay bashing, but he's doing it with a bunch of Jews with Goldilocks.
And it's nice, okay?
And then Christine O'Donnell got asked a question.
What opinions of late that have come from our high court do you most object to?
Oh, gosh.
Give me a specific one.
I'm sorry.
Actually, I can't because I need you to tell me which ones you object to.
I'm very sorry right off the top of my head.
Okay, well, and then I'm going to guess she's going to try in the middle of her head in a second.
We're going to talk about the Tea Party, Christine O'Dono, Palladino.
We've got to talk about just how angry they are.
Will Durst checks in with a commentary, three minutes about how mad as hell he is.
And we're going to talk about the teacher reform.
There's education reform happening in America.
It's being led by a bunch of people who never taught education.
So, taught education.
Did I say that?
Never taught education?
Can we back that up, Polly?
I don't want to sound like an idiot when I'm talking about education.
So, but there's a lot of, I'm sure, you know, the oldest trick in the book is break the teacher union, but there's some new ideas out there.
And what are they?
Well, I was listening to MSNBC the other day.
Nationwide, do we have to, I mean, this sounds radical, but do we have to break the teachers' unions?
And look, I'm split on unions.
Okay, half time I want to break them, the other half I want to not use them.
Okay, then Moron checks in later on.
Moron's got a lot to say.
We hear from some Palladino.
He left me a few more voicemails, too.
Wow.
Yeah, so, but let's go, you know what?
Let's go right ahead and talk about Carl Palladino in the news this week.
I found a whole new reason to oppose the tea party this week.
And I'm getting tired.
It's absolutely exhausting trying to keep up with them as they veer wildly back and forth between crazy and braindead.
Take Carl Palladino, Mr. Tough Talk, Mr. Straight Shooter, Mr. Clean Up Albany with a Baseball Bat.
Well, this week he ventured into New York City to try to win some votes from Hasidic Jews.
We must stop pandering to the pornographers.
See, that's just one sentence, and there's already three things wrong with it.
First of all, what pornographers is he talking about that are getting pandered to?
Is there some powerful porno lobby that I haven't heard about?
The National Rim Job Association?
Are we as a nation ready to stand up and say, enough, we are tired of the pornographers calling all the shots in this country already?
I mean, I guess they do call some shots, but that's just part of their job description.
Secondly, this is a guy who sends pornographic emails.
See, when he's not busy forwarding bestiality videos, he's taking a stand against pornography.
In the Tea Party, that's called traditional values.
Here on planet Earth, that's called mind-bending hypocrisy.
And lastly, we have Carl's principled stand against pandering.
Problem is, he's taking that principled stand while pandering to a room full of religious nuts who think God will smite you down if you do something crazy like eat a ham and cheese sandwich or make a phone call on a Saturday.
I didn't march in a gay prayer parade this year.
The gay pride parade this year.
Oh, okay, now we're getting somewhere.
So when Carl Palladino says pornographers, he doesn't mean guys like him who distribute pornography.
No, he means gays.
I haven't seen a grasp of human sexuality like this since Newt Gingrich said women shouldn't serve in the military because they get infections once a month.
And that's not the example that we should be showing our children.
No, Carl, you're right on this one.
The behavior we should be modeling for our children is that of sending out racist and pornographic emails to your friends for kicks and then publicly moralizing about gays and sex, setting a good and important example of raw hypocrisy.
But he's an inspiring speaker, isn't he?
I mean, for a minute there, I thought I was listening to Winston Churchill.
But no, it's just Carl sounding like a drunken fourth grader giving a book report.
And certainly not in our schools.
Okay, Carl, I'm with you on this one.
I'm against any parade that goes through our schools.
Now, let's hear that little rant altogether.
I didn't march in a gay prayer parade this year.
The gay pride parade this year.
My opponent did.
And that's not the example that we should be showing our children.
and certainly not in their schools.
Thank you.
Yes.
Applaud the hate.
Applaud the bigotry.
Applaud that ignorance, room full of Hasidic Jews.
Because if there's one thing history teaches us, it's that unchecked fear and hate-mongering always works out great for your people.
You know that this is America, right?
You're allowed to believe whatever you want.
So let's say for a minute that there is a God and that he watches everything we do before deciding whether to send us to heaven or hell.
This is a room full of people who think that on Judgment Day, God will say to them, Well, you made life miserable for some of the people I created, treated them like second-class citizens, discriminated against them, hated and feared them for no earthly reason.
But on the other hand, you did wear that hat every day.
So I guess it's a wash.
Let's make a deal, Hasidic Jews.
Start demonstrating some basic human tolerance for gay people, and I bet the man upstairs will look the other way if you want to have a shave.
And don't misquote me as wanting to hurt homosexual people in any way.
No, see, I don't want to hurt them.
I just want them to have fewer rights than me and for them to live in shame and fear because it makes me uncomfortable to picture two guys doing it.
Oh, that would hurt them?
Okay, well, then I do want to hurt them.
And don't misquote me as wanting to hurt homosexual people in any way.
That would be a dastardly lie.
Really?
Dastardly.
A dastardly lie?
In 2010, you're really using the word dastardly.
Are you giving a stump speech or are you tying a damsel to the train tracks?
I just think my children and your children will be much better off and much more successful getting married and raising a family.
And I don't want them to be brainwashed into thinking that homosexuality is an equally valid or successful option.
It isn't.
Yeah.
And if you want them to be really successful, have them raise two families like I'm doing.
Real quick, room full of alleged pious people.
Everybody cool with me fathering a child out of wedlock with my former assistant?
No problems with that, you guys?
Okay, cool.
Moving on.
So do you see what I mean?
This is exhausting.
These tea party people are so stupid, so hateful, so hypocritical.
You can't even have a meaningful debate with them.
I mean, demonstrating that you're smarter and more decent person than Carl Palladino, it's like beating up an eight-year-old blind girl.
You're going to win pretty easily, but it ain't much of a victory.
And we watched this, and there were men in Speedos grinding and doing things, okay, to each other on this tractor trailer.
And I just said, that's not right.
Okay.
That was another thing.
Then why does it feel so right?
That's what I want to know.
Another great piece by me, big assist from Ben Zelavansky.
Oh, God, you write sweet Ben.
You know what?
Before we get to talking about the Tea Party and the anger and the kind of ignorance that seems to be masquerading as political thought these days, Palladino called me and he left me voicemail.
Jimmy, this is Carl Palladino.
I still don't understand why you hadn't returned my calls, but that's a matter for another time.
I'm calling today because I want to come on your show and speak directly to your listeners, most of whom I assume to be homosexual.
This week, the press made a big freaking deal out of some things I said about those people to a room full of Hasidic Jews.
In response to this brouhaha, let me just say that I was reading directly from a script that someone handed to me, and therefore I am in no way at fault for the words that I said.
This speech was a real barn burner, too.
You should have seen the stuff I skipped over.
Holy Toledo.
Anyway, I'm not perfect.
I'm not a career politician.
And frankly, I'm a little surprised that the Jews in that room didn't help me smooth this over with the Jews that run the media.
Please pass along my apologies to the homosexuals that make up your audience.
Thank you.
Wow.
I love that, Carl Paladino.
I feel like he's maybe digging himself in a little deeper.
Oh, he's really.
You know, it's one step forward, two steps back with that guy.
Isn't it?
So he actually did apologize.
It turns out he had a gay nephew, and his family came down on him.
His gay nephew stopped showing up at his campaign.
And I guess his family really came down on Carl.
So he released a statement, and part of his apology said, I am concerned with the future for all our citizens.
Gay, straight, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Muslim, agnostic, whatever that is.
Although I am not perfect, I do admit my mistakes.
I will reach out to the leaders at a gay community to educate me on how to better represent my support for the rights of all citizens.
If elected as your governor, I will stand and fight for all the gay New York rights.
I ask you for forgiveness on my poorly chosen words and the publication by others not involved with our campaign of unredacted script that did not reflect my oral statement or match my personal feelings.
That was released by Carl Palladino after winning?
After one of his wives kicked his ass.
Well, I bet the gay community, I bet they're just tickled at the idea that they're going to get reached out to Carl Palladino.
Wow, let me clear my calendar and have lunch with this guy.
I wonder how many votes that turned around.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, well, wait a minute.
It turns out he didn't mean to degrade us.
So, now, but still, he's polling at 33%.
What is that?
Now, Paul, you host a national.
Unless he's running against four people, it's not looking good for him.
I'm just looking at it, man.
Now, you host a pub.
You host a national television show, Paul, though.
That's right.
Do you think that do you find people to be 33% of your audience to be Carl Palladino dumb?
I don't know because it's not a live show.
So I don't know how people receive.
You can't see them through the camera?
I can't.
I can't.
And that's why.
CBS doesn't forward me to go.
You don't go to emails.
You don't tour the country doing dinner in a movie listening tours?
I don't.
But, Jimmy, having been a stand-up comedian for 20-plus years and seeing live what people laugh at and get and don't get, I'd say it's more like 66% of the people.
I'm surprised you stopped polling higher, is what you're saying.
Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
Try putting a video on YouTube, see what the comments come down.
Like something just steeped in irony and people coming back with literal like, I don't get it.
Like, really?
You don't.
Yeah.
Well, there's, well, you know, the Republican character that I do, which is a satire on the Christian right.
It's a satire?
Oh, that's embarrassing.
Over half of the people, easily half of the people that watch it don't know that it's satire.
They think it's a real person, which is a sad commentary on people's comedic sensibilities, but also on how outrageous the right wing is that overblown satire can be mistaken as real.
Maybe you're just, you know, maybe you're just that damn good, you know?
Maybe you just think about that, Publius.
You got the goods.
Carl Palladino is a perfect example of like, you couldn't have written this guy.
No, you couldn't.
He's brilliant.
You would have written him, but then you would have cut some things like that.
I would have written it and then hit myself over the head with a baseball bet.
I love the fact that basically what's coming out is that the Tea Party candidates, they're all just conservative Republicans.
Their only defining element is that they're not qualified to hold office.
Yeah.
That is their only defining character that separates them from Republic.
It's like the gang from Scooby-Doo decided to get into politics.
Yeah.
And they put Shaggy up as the candidate.
You know, my question is, you know, you just said that, Robert, about that, they're not qualified to hold office.
I mean, Eric Cantor, I mean, although he was on the Daily Show the other day, and, you know, it was real easy for John.
I mean, he didn't, you know, you just go, but, you know, you guys say you're for smaller government, you're for shrinking this and that, and you're fiscal conservatives.
And then every time you get in power, you do the exact opposite.
So, I mean, that's all you have to say.
I mean, he has actually, they actually have a track record that you can throw in their face.
So it wasn't like he had to catch them.
You know what I mean?
But it's like, you know, you look at Eric Cantor and you look at Boehner and these guys, it's like, Sheridan Engel.
I mean, how does this stuff happen?
It's a race to the middle.
No, it's because it's basically, and we were just talking about this before.
It's because the Republican Party has basically made the argument about feminine and masculine.
They've made it an entirely aesthetic argument.
And they have made it so that if you vote Democrat, you appear weak.
Yes, well, because Democrats are weak.
And that's really fair around it.
And by the way, if you want to have a second family, if you want to be a total degenerate, be a Democrat.
We're cool with it.
Paul Palladino should just join the Democratic Party.
We're totally fine with you cheating on your wife.
Matter of fact, we should put that on bumper stickers.
Be a Democrat.
We will allow you to screw anyone you want.
You know what?
That's going to lose you a lot of the broads.
It's just a national party symbol as a donkey looking the other way.
This is a good show today.
I got to tell you.
These TVs.
You know what's funny?
Is just as you said that you know somewhere someone is turning the show off.
This is shit.
So he's talking about my dad.
So Palladino is talking to a group of Orthodox Jews.
Orthodox Jews, Hasidic Jews, incredibly small minority, despite what Jesse Jackson may have told you.
Right.
Hasidic Jews don't even come close to outnumbering homosexuals in New York.
He's kind of like missing the electoral math.
And at some point, I couldn't believe none of those Jews said when he was saying, oh, we need to stop pandering to the perverts.
And none of those Jews looked at him and said, you know, we don't do that either.
We just sell camera equipment and pray all the time.
Like, that's all we do.
We're not like, why are you telling us this?
Because I think he thought it was a concern of theirs.
But I'm going to go back to your point about why is he – is the person that books his stuff that bad that those are the – Well, and he didn't even read this.
They didn't even write the statement he read.
It's like, what is going on?
Which is hard to believe the way he delivered it so smoothly and flowing.
I felt like it was just pouring right out of his brain.
I thought, I think he.
It's not still familiar that someone's always videotaping you now.
Like, I think he thought he might have been in a room because there's no reporters weren't let in.
I bet he thought he was probably by himself in that room and that he was, okay, I'll read your stupid statement.
No, no female reporters were allowed to do it.
Oh, that's right.
Reporters were allowed in a race.
And you made a good point about that earlier.
I was reading out that it was so brilliant that no women were allowed in there because it's a synagogue for the Hasidim.
They don't allow women into the area.
Wow, the irony deepens.
I didn't think it could be any more ironic.
The thing is, a few people were like, well, it's their religion.
And she turned around this op-ed piece and said, yeah, you know what?
If it was their religion to not let black reporters in, you people would be losing your mind.
Absolutely.
This is a public event.
He chose to go someplace where female reporters were not permitted.
Exactly.
He sided with a type of bigotry that's unacceptable.
Absolutely.
So, God bless him.
And by the way, while we're at it, if you are raising a child in New York and the worst thing that they see over the course of their childhood is two men in speedos grinding on each other, you have sheltered that child.
There are many worse things to see in the city of Manhattan.
And most of them you need tickets for.
Oh, yeah.
Okay, we have a new Will Durst, if you're not familiar, is a great political comedian.
He's a five-time Emmy nominee and seven times nominated for the Stand-Up Comedian of the Year Award.
Hey, guys, Woo Durst here, and man, oh man, I'm mad.
I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore.
Take what?
I don't know.
And that makes me mad, too.
I'm angry, riled up, cranky, irate, livid, bellicose, splinetic, which has something to do with the spleen.
I think it involves leakage.
Whatever it is, it can't be good, and I got it.
I'm mad at everything and everybody, but especially I'm mad at career politicians, not to mention career pediatricians.
From now on, one of my kids gets sick, I'm taking them to see some incensed old coot straight off the street carrying a misspelled sign.
I'm mad about paying taxes because I don't like paying taxes.
I'm tired of my hard-earned money wasted on silly things like roads and air traffic controllers and paramedics and natural gas pipeline inspectors and flossing.
I hate that too.
Who needs teeth?
Members of the lame-stream media elite, that's who.
So they can lie through them.
Those guys are mad at because they keep running stories about me being mad.
I'm mad because I have to work two jobs just to get by, and I'm mad rich people don't get more tax cuts.
I'm mad about all the jobs that went overseas, and I'm mad at unions demanding a living wage.
I'm mad my life isn't better than my parents, and I'm mad I can't have everything now and force my children to pay for it.
And knowing I'm confused just fuels my maddening.
I'm mad our Muslim president was born in Kenya, and don't bother me with your so-called facts.
I know what I know, and it makes me so mad I could just spit.
So I do, often, right into the wind.
And having the front of my shirt constantly moist just gooses the scale of how mad I am.
I'm mad at both of the parties, all the parties, political parties and birthday parties and tailgate parties.
I'm mad at Democrats because they're the polar opposite of mad.
And I'm mad at Republicans because they're mad at me.
And if my maddish spews hurt them, tough.
Because they're not as mad as I am.
I'm so mad I'll bite off both my hands one finger at a time if that's what it takes to prove I'm mad, which I am.
I'm mad at immigrants for doing jobs that are beneath me.
I'm mad at the French.
I'm mad at French's mustard.
I'm mad at people who put ketchup on hot dogs.
I'm even mad at people who are mad at people who put ketchup on hot dogs.
You can never hope to replicate the purity of my precious matitude.
Some people don't ever get mad, which makes me the maddest of all.
The hell is wrong with these people, these uppity, madless ones.
Oh, they make me so mad.
But they will be mad soon enough because my madness is going to bloom and grow until everyone is as mad as me, which is going to be tough because I'm really, really mad.
Did I mention I was mad?
Good.
Because I am.
Mad, that is.
Man, oh man, I'm mad.
For the Jimmy Dora Show, I'm Will Durst.
Yeah.
The End See, I wasn't kidding.
That's Will Durst, and he's going to be stopping in with us from time to time.
Thank you very much.
Well, and if you can find out more about Will Durst at willdurst.com.
Will D-U-R-S-T.
See, I'm different.
I'm mad as hell, and because I'm lazy, I will continue to take it.
I wish there was something I could do.
I wish there was an option.
Yeah.
You know, I can, you know, when that guy said, I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore.
He just yelled out the window, and then all of a sudden things got better in his life.
Yeah, wouldn't that be awesome?
Yeah.
Or even better if it happened while I napped.
That would be the best.
If I could change the world through my naps.
That would be awesome.
Listen, I want to take time out to let people know tonight, October 14th, at Flappers Comedy Club in Burbank.
It's the Jimmy Dore Show and Friends.
Who's going to be on that show?
Greg Barrett, Rick Overton.
Hello.
Who's the third person?
Not me.
Okay, ready?
I'm sorry.
Can we do this?
Tonight, our guests tonight on the Jimmy Dore and show friends, Rick Overton, Greg Barrett, the Jimmy Dore and Show, Friends.
What did I say?
They are in Jimmy.
Damn it.
Okay, tonight, October 14th at Flappers in Burbank on Jimmy Dore and Friends Show.
On the Jimmy Door and Friends Show?
Yeah.
The guests tonight include Greg Barrett, Rick Overton, Mark Marin, Laurie Kilmartin.
That's at Flappers.
That's a PowerPack show.
That is a PowerPack show.
That's at Flappers at Burbank.
It's a brand new club.
And you go to flapperscomedy.com to get your tickets show up.
If you show your pot prescription card, do you get a pot card?
Okay.
Okay, you know what?
If you show up, you show your medical marijuana.
If you have a medical marijuana license, you show it, you get in half price.
How about that?
Is that a good deal?
Yeah, you should probably save.
So we don't get in trouble.
That's, in fact, not true.
I think that is true.
The thing should be is you wouldn't even have to give them half off because they'll be stoned.
They won't even know that you charge them full price.
I've been stoned.
I knew when someone was ripping me off.
So yeah, we'll do that.
Show your medical marijuana license.
You get in half price.
You go to flapperscomedy.com.
It's a great show tonight.
And how about this?
I'm going to give away five pairs of tickets.
How about that?
Five pairs of tickets.
For the first five people who sign the Jimmy Dore email list, you go to JimmyDoorComedy.com.
You sign the email list.
And I'm going to talk about D-O-R-E, right?
Because a lot of people think my last name is spelled D-Double R. And if you Google Jimmy D-Double R, the passenger side door for a Jimmy GMC comes up, and you don't want that.
So you want JimmyDoorComedy.com.
Sign that.
We're going to get you two free tickets to the first five people who signed the email list today.
How about that?
That's a pretty good deal.
I just did the math.
That's 10 tickets total.
That is 10 tickets total.
And if you have your medical marijuana license, you get in half price.
I think you do that every week.
The medical marijuana half off.
That's genius.
Yes, next Thursday we have another Jimmy Door and Friends show at the Flappers 2.
So it's going to be the 14th, the 21st, and then we're going to take a few weeks off.
So this Thursday, next Thursday, and also if you're in Ann Arbor, Michigan, I'm going to be there October 21 through 23.
And if you're a venture at the Ventura Comedy Club, October 29 and 30.
We're doing that big rally to restore sanity here in LA at noon on the 30th.
And then I'm going up to Ventura to tell jokes.
Okay.
So yeah, we'll be at the Ann Arbor Comedy Showcase in Michigan.
Okay, right now, we'll be got another whole half a show coming up, and we'll be right back.
This is the Jimmy Dore Show on Pacific.
This is the Jimmy Dore Show.
What you gonna do when you get out of jail?
I'm gonna have some fun.
And what do you consider fun?
Financal fun.
Jimmy, what am I gonna do with all this money I have laying around here?
It's getting to be a real hassle.
Ben, I've got an idea.
Why don't you support one of the few sane voices in the radio landscape out there today?
Tom Lakus?
Ben KPFK.
Oh, KPFK.
That's the home of the Jimmy Dore show.
It sure is.
That's right.
It's the voice of the people, not the corporations.
Oh, I love the people.
But there's a catch when you're not funded by corporations completely.
People need to step up to keep the voice of the people alive.
Boy, I thought the corporation cut you off right when you said that.
I did.
There was a blow dart in my neck.
I had to pull it out.
So what we're saying is we need people to, people who listen to us on the podcast, if you'd like to help support KPFK and our mission here, what is our mission here?
Our mission here is to bring truth to the people.
All right, then.
And last.
You can do it on Trope Music.
You can go ahead and donate at KPFK.org.
And you can designate your pledge to our show, the Jimmy Dore Show.
Isn't that nice?
You can do it online at KPFK.org.
Or if you'd like to call, because people like to talk to people, 818-985-KPFK.
You go over there, you do the right thing.
You keep KPFK going.
And, you know, where would we be without KPFK?
I don't know where I would be right now.
Arrested.
That's right.
arrested.
A commutation returns musicians such as Bootsy College There's expectations to a new attention No one can say Quite less hope There's no fear of wisdom When it's ganking to called Marlin There is a standing inside and
round And I said, Oopsyabamasena, Oopsyabamasena, Oopsyabamasena, Hi, welcome back to the Jimmy Doer show.
We've got a lot coming up.
On the rest of the show, what we're going to do, we're going to talk about Christine O'Donnell talking about, she's going to talk about her favorite court opinions.
We're going to talk about teacher reform.
Moron calls in.
Carl Palladino's got some more voicemails.
In fact, let's listen to one right now.
Hello there, Jimmy.
Carl Palladino again.
I just left you a message in which I apologize to homosexuals for some offensive remarks that I made.
Well, apparently I made some additional offensive remarks in that apology, so I'm calling you to make another apology.
I noted you have a lot of gays in your audience, but you probably also have a lot of Jews.
So I hereby apologize for the thing that I said in my last message.
Remember, I'm not perfect, and I'm not a career politician.
We don't need to get into the details.
But I said something rudder about how the Jews run the media.
I thought that was pretty much common knowledge, but some people got in the real huff about it.
Go figure.
It's ironic.
Somebody's Jews are so sensitive.
They make the gays look like John Wayne.
Anyway, if you could pass along my apology for that last apology, I'd appreciate it.
Thanks.
Wow.
Yes, that's Carl Palladino checking in.
And right now, it's time to hear from our good friend Jim Hightower.
He fills us in on the trials and tribulations of Monsanto.
Poor Monsanto, the mighty and haughty manipulator of Mother Nature has tripped on his own hubris, falling far, fast, and hard this year.
The biotech and chemical giant has reaped huge profits by messing with the very DNA of the world's food supply.
During the past couple of decades, Monsanto has become the Frankenstein of agriculture, taking genetic parts of one or more species and engineering them into another.
The corporation literally creates a living profit center for itself inside the mutant seed it engineers for corn, soybeans, and other food staples.
Its specialty has been to alter plants so they can withstand heavy doses of an herbicide manufactured by, guess who?
Monsanto.
This kind of techno-gimmickry dazzled Wall Street speculators for a while.
Monsanto stocks soared to $140 a share in 2008.
And in 2009, this darling of investors was named Company of the Year by Forbes magazine.
But farmers have found the altered seed ridiculously expensive and less beneficial than advertised.
And the herbicide that Monsanto sells with the seed is not effective because weeds have already developed a resistance to it.
Meanwhile, the Justice Department is investigating the corporation's antitrust activities, and global opponents of genetically tampered crops have been scoring victories in the fight to stop their spread.
Monsanto's response to this rejection of its crop wizardry has been to double down on wizardry.
Its new corn seed, for example, has not one, but eight altered genes in it.
But farmers aren't buying the Mumbo Jumbo, and Wall Street has pushed Monsanto's stock price down by two-thirds.
As one market analyst now says, this may be the worst stock of 2010.
This is Jim Hightower saying, to keep track of Monsanto's manipulations, go to organicconsumers.org.
Jim Haitower brought good news.
Yay!
What does it call that?
Schardenfuhr?
Is that how you do it?
Schadenfreude.
Schadenfreude?
Yes.
But Monsanto is not our peer.
Schadenfreude usually applies to your peers.
Oh, okay.
Oh, Monsanto is so evil.
It is so delicious to hear that they are.
Amazing.
That is pretty amazing.
That's amazing because, you know, one of their great scams is that they're also the biggest buyer of corn.
Yes.
So basically, if you screw with Monsanto, they'll say, well, we're not going to buy your corn, and you'll be totally Rogered because they take that and they make it into like vitamin C and high-fructose corn super and everything like that.
So they're a complete monopoly.
So it's amazing for the farmers to say, well, go to hell.
I mean, that's incredible.
That is.
I mean, Monsanto has quite a stranglehold on the farmer.
Oh, it is amazing.
Like, they get him in contract.
And Congress.
And they use it.
And Congress.
Yes.
So this is quite amazing.
Let's move on because we've gotten short time today, but our hour usually is 60 minutes long.
Today it's only 54.
I don't know why.
Are we in Canada?
Recession.
It is the recession.
It's metric time.
Everybody, that's got to jump.
Bing bang boing.
I'm on sex in the city.
Let's all just take turns.
Yeah.
I want to talk.
We're going to talk about the education reform, but first, let's have some fun.
Christine O'Donnell was, you know, she has been ducking the cameras.
And she finally had to go out.
She went on a debate with her opponent.
And, you know, this guy's no, you know, he's no George Clooney himself.
You know what I mean?
This guy's no FDR.
He's no Ronald Reagan.
He's no blah, blah, blah.
He's more like, I don't know, Floyd the Barber, kind of, you know.
And he looks like a shoe salesman who like wandered into the debate.
He does.
What's his name?
Coons.
I don't know what his first name is.
Chris, I think.
Is it Chris Coons?
Yeah.
And they're vying for this is Joe Biden's old seat that they're vying for.
So this is what Joe Biden gave us, Christine O'Donnell.
So she was asked about, well, you'll hear it is.
What opinions of late that have come from our high court do you most object to?
Oh, gosh.
Give me a specific one.
I'm sorry.
Actually, I can't because I need you to tell me which ones you object to.
I'm very sorry right off the top of my head.
I know that there are a lot, but I'll put it up on my website.
I promise you.
She's going to put it up on her website.
Just let me consult with someone that reads the paper.
It's the classic tea party.
I'm not really informed.
I'm just outraged.
But yeah, I'm outraged, and I have my emotions.
It's truthiness.
It's this the world, this is how it should be.
I'm mad, and it should be this way.
I'm mad at the Supreme Court.
Why?
I'm not sure, but I'm upset at them.
They're not because they're activists.
What have they been activating lately?
I don't know.
It's not bad enough that the whole Tea Party is like this.
This is someone that's running to be a senator.
One of 100 people.
Yeah, she's not a country.
That'd only be bad enough if she was a voter.
It'd be bad enough if she was a voter.
The Tea Party is like Nazis that can't get their shit together.
You know, at least the Nazis were, they read documents, they could organize a parade, they knew how to get stuff done.
The Tea Parties, they have all the outrage of Nazism, all the scapegoating of Nazism.
They can't shoot straight.
No tolerance for homework.
Yeah.
And you know what?
No, Tom.
Did they ask Sarah Palin the same question?
Like, somebody else got burned this same week.
Who will not denigrate that woman in my presence?
She brings a Dr. Quinn freshness from the political arena.
And I will not stand idly by and listen to you besmirch her.
She, I think she should go to Washington because she would come unburdened by a jadedness of familiarity with the political process that would be really, really.
Like the character and being there.
Yes.
But they asked her, like, it was the same, like, Christina Dullen wasn't even ready for the same kind of gotcha question that someone else had already blown.
Like, they didn't even say, like, it's.
Whoever was preparing her for the debate wasn't like, let's look at this.
You know, We'll give her a list of magazines and newspapers to say that she reads because we don't want to screw that one up again.
We'll do the thing.
We'll let her know about where, you know, don't say anything about how close you are to Russia.
Like, they had a blueprint for how to not blow this.
Christine O'Donnell reminds me of, like, what would happen if a sorority is like one of their dares to one of their pledges, if you want to get torn in, is you have to go pretend to be a politician for six months.
Yeah, yeah.
And she's just on that journey.
She's got to complete that.
I heard her referred to as a less slutty Rachel Ray, which I thought was.
See, I defend Christina Donald.
Oh, I thought you're going to defend Rachel Ray.
No, God, no.
Rachel Ray.
She's not slutty.
She's not slutty.
She's not anything.
She's asexual.
That's how she gets to be famous.
Yes, but why are we crapping ourselves in the middle of the moment?
I love Rachel Ray.
No, I like Rachel Ray.
She's a good person.
I don't like her.
She does a good job.
No, you don't do crap on Rachel Ray.
Rachel Way, it's a way.
It's just for humor, Paul.
That's all.
Don't take it personal.
Don't you think you also need your listeners to have a spirit of honesty in this show?
I don't think so.
You know, there's people that ended up listening to Joe Sifpak.
They just want to have a good belly letter.
All right, take down everybody.
That's all you want.
I'll sit back with my arms.
They don't want to think.
The people listening still don't want to think, Paul.
They just want to have a good laugh at it.
One by one, the idols crumble.
Oh, yeah, at the end of the day, they just want to have a good laugh.
Nobody wants to think when they're laughing.
Jimmy, you know, my dad always said, when you shit on everyone, you're shit on yourself.
Today, wow.
Do we have enough money in the budget for all these bleeps?
Yeah, with whatever.
And then they put an engine in the car, put a pair of goggles out and I drove it down the street.
Were we talking about something?
I forgot where we were.
Rachel Ray.
Somebody was listening to me.
Well, I defend Christina Donald not because I think she's any good.
I think she's a waste of space, but I don't think people think that she's going to be the next Sarah Palin in terms of being the gift that keeps on giving in terms of dumb things that come out of her mouth.
I don't think so.
I think she's a one-trick pony.
I think she's like the.
Gonna disappear after this.
Yeah, she's the deck.
She's a one-trick miniature.
I think she's a big deal.
Yeah.
I think Palladino.
But she gets elected.
We are just flush.
Yeah.
Of her and him and Angle.
Oh, this is a beautiful thing.
Comedy satire stock will double overnight.
I mean, the country, you know, it'll be like when George Bush got elected, and it really hurt the country, but man, it really helped the community.
God, it was.
Let's listen to the rest of her response, Christine O'Donnell.
But we know you disagree with Roe versus Wade.
Oh, so there's Wolf O'Donnell giving her a little help, a little softball.
That's Wolf Blitzer.
What did I say, Wolf O'Donnell?
I meant Wolf Blitzer.
You need to change your whatever weed you're smoking.
I'm smoking a blue dream right now.
It's a nice hybrid.
Yeah, I mean, I know that there are a lot, but I'll put it up on my website, I promise you.
Well, we know you disagree with Roe versus Wade.
Oh, by the way, here's a little here's a decision on a platter.
Did I help you?
Can I help you answer the question?
Also, the question was recent, Supreme Court.
Yes, it was recent.
Even Wolf Blitzer.
1972 is not recent?
Recent, like in the century.
So then she responds to that.
Yeah.
But she said a recent one.
She said of late.
He said that's relatively recent 40 years ago.
40 years ago.
That's relatively recent.
Well, yeah, relative to the what?
To what?
What are you talking about, Wolf?
I thought that was better than Wolf's following.
Relative to the last time you had an accurate piece of information?
Yeah, I said it's that relatively recent.
Sorry, babe.
No, I was just going to say that I think that's a better question from Wolf Blitzer than his follow-up, which was: do you like beards?
Is there any place for that in a debate?
I didn't understand it.
I don't approve of it.
I don't hear this.
Yeah.
Well, Roe versus Wade would not put the power.
It's not really 30-some years.
Even she laughed at Wolf's face.
You know, you're getting laughed at by the girl who can't even name a Supreme Court decision.
She's laughing in your face.
Which is my 30-summer.
Okay, I guess.
Any other Supreme Court decision?
She laughs right in his face.
Let's hear that again.
That's fun.
I forgot that she.
I didn't even know Wolf Blitz or something.
30 something years ago.
Since then, any other Supreme Court decision.
But let me say about Roe versus Wade.
Roe versus Wade, if that were overturned, would not make abortion illegal in the United States.
It would put the power back to the states.
But besides that decision, anything else you disagree with?
Oh, there are several when it comes to pornography when it comes to court decisions.
What would be the name of that decision?
The pornography decision.
The one which said the pornography was good.
Hand versus load.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
I'm sorry.
Ollie, tell me that can get on.
Tell me that can air.
Okay.
Hey, I don't know.
If I tell you, but Carl Palladino called me.
Jimmy, Carl Palladino, again.
You ever have one of those days?
Apparently, in the last apology I made to apologize for my previous apology.
I may have re-offended somebody gays, but I was trying to apologize to for when I offended him the first time.
As you know, I'm not perfect, and I'm not a career politician.
What I am is a bad shit, crazy old millionaire with no more common sense than God gave a turnip.
Despite these few missteps, I hope I can count on your support, because if I can't, I'm going to come down there and bash your head into a baseball bed.
That's Carl Palladino, ladies and gentlemen.
That is most honest.
He's doing away with it.
He's not perfect.
No, he's not.
Really?
You know, it's funny because I hadn't noticed that he wasn't perfect.
I'm not perfect, you guys.
Come on, you guys.
It's so impressive because, what's his name?
Who's currently governor of New York?
Patterson.
Patterson is so bad.
Look at the last one.
And the Democrats are going to hold the seat because the Republicans couldn't find the car keys, and this is the guy they put up.
I love it.
That is amazing.
This is the guy they came up with.
Yeah, this is the guy.
And that's usually like us, like when we come up with a Dukakis or something.
But when the Republicans do it, I just don't.
Doesn't it make you want to run?
Doesn't it make you want to like, because I went to a town hall to hear Adam Schiff, he's my congressman.
And I've got to tell you, I couldn't believe that someone hasn't run against this guy.
This guy looked like a geek on geek steroids.
I mean, and he's public speaking.
He looked like a deer in the headlights in front of a thing.
And it's just like, so how did this, how did this guy get the, like, he was probably the coolest guy in the nerd club.
And he made money in accounting so he could fund his own campaign.
I don't know how the hell happened, but I'm just, it just makes you go, well, so it can't.
So if you see somebody like Michelle Bach, when you see Carl Palladino, you see Sharon Engel, does it not make you go, how hard is this?
Maybe I should do this.
Right?
No, none of you guys.
No, no, I thought I definitely thought of that.
Yeah, but who wants to put themselves through it?
I couldn't go through the, I couldn't go through the fundraising.
It's non-stop talking to people.
Yeah.
You know, shaking hands up.
Begging for money.
Yeah, it's glad all day.
Yeah, if we had public financing, I would be all for it.
I would probably run if we had public finance.
Think of it as all-day non-stop non-napping.
That's what I look at it as.
David Frum had a good editorial about that on what's the money show on it.
Penthouse.com.
But it was actually.
Oh, letters, yeah.
He said we should.
And I'm not a fan of David Frum, but he basically said, like, if we dear Penthouse Letters.
Penthouse.
He writes that guy.
He has a regular picture.
David Fromms would be referenced.
Forum is actually more of a specific reason.
But he said we should just let the parties distribute the money as they used to.
Because what happened as a result of the candidates having to raise their own money personally was now they're just constantly campaigning.
Well, I agree.
I mean, that certainly isn't.
That would be better than the system we have.
It certainly wouldn't be a great system.
It'd be better.
I think the best we all know the best would be public financing.
And one month.
Are you telling me you think it's bad that the way it is now where it's filled with millionaires that when they've tired of monopolizing an industry, then they want a toy in politics?
I can't believe that Carl Palladena was able to monopolize.
Isn't that amazing that he was able to make all that money, that he's successful, like that that guy doesn't have a broom and a shovel and he's following a bunch of horses all day?
I mean, I can't believe that that guy is a major money maker in America.
I mean, he makes more money than you do, Paul.
Doesn't that make you feel horrible as a person?
You're not a good provider, and that's probably why you don't have kids.
But all he cares about was making that like it's not, it's like what they said in Citizen Ken.
It's not that hard to make money if that's all you care about.
Yeah.
Like all he did was figure out, like, oh, here's how you buy property.
Here's how you sell property.
He's not like a genius by any stretch of the image.
Oh, speaking of geniuses, I'm getting the phone.
I got to take this.
Hey, it's Jimmy.
Who's this?
Hey, Jimmy, how you doing?
It's Moron.
Hey, Moron, what's up, buddy?
How you doing?
Ah, Jimmy, you know me.
I'm a good American.
I'm easily manipulated to vote against my own economic interest.
And while I have lots of legitimate anger at the government, it's often misdirected at the wrong people.
The only thing that does bring me comfort, Jim, is the fact that my Lord Jesus the Christ hates exactly the same people that I do.
Well, what's on your mind this week, buddy?
Well, I'll tell you, Jim, I can't believe it.
I can't believe it either.
See, Therese can't believe it either.
Believe what, Moron?
That Jerry Brown running for governor in California called that guy a whore.
What do you mean?
That guy.
And then that Ted Whitman made a big deal out of it.
You mean Meg Whitman?
Huh?
You mean her name is Meg Whitman?
Who?
The woman Jerry Brown is running against.
That's a woman, Jim?
Yes, that's a woman.
Meg.
It's not Ted Whitman.
No, Meg.
Meg.
Ted Whitman.
No, it's Meg Whitman.
It's a woman.
What?
Yes, it's a woman, Moron.
No, Jimmy says that it's a woman.
I thought it was the millionaire guy.
No, I guess Jimmy wasn't it.
Therese says it was a millionaire guy.
No, Moron, it was a millionaire woman.
Meg Whitman, millionaire woman.
No, Therese, Jimmy says it's a woman millionaire.
Her name is Meg.
Meg Whitman.
Well, she's a millionaire, and then she's going to put a bit of wig.
That's a good point.
You know, Jimmy, if she's a millionaire, Therese says you think she can afford a better wig, can you think?
That's not a wig, Moron.
That's her real hair.
Jim, that's not one.
Therese Jim says that's her real hair.
Moron, I'm not making it up.
She's got so much money.
Why does she do a hair like Look Hold it?
Oh, Therese.
That's a little cash.
Yeah, Jim.
Is that that wrestling lady?
No, that's not the wrestling lady.
The wrestling lady is Linda McMahon, and she's running for Senate in Connecticut.
This is the governor race in California, and you're talking about a woman, and her name is Meg Whitman, and she used to run eBay.
Yeah, Therese, she used to run eBay.
You think she could get a little wig on eBay?
Yeah, you'd think, well, I guess it's not a wig.
She can get one for Jerry.
So now why is he in hot water for calling her a whore?
I mean, that's his opponent.
Well, someone in his campaign was caught using the word whore to refer to Meg Whitman.
And, you know, that's insulting to all women.
Yeah, but he wasn't insulting all women.
He was insulting Meg Whitman.
Well, then you use the word.
Anyway, I'm glad that they just got their Tom Brokaws to do that in moderating and the debate.
Oh, yeah, you liked Tom Brokaw?
Yeah, I love that guy.
He's a great American.
What is it about him that you like so much?
You know, he's a great newsman.
Well, Born, what news, what news story has he ever broke?
Do you remember any news story that Tom Brokaw ever of any consequence that ever broke that helped the country?
I can't say that I do, but I don't need a newsman doing that kind of stuff.
I like what Tom Brokaw does, you know.
He just writes books about, well, I for instance.
Like, for instance, he figured out that we were a great country 40 years ago or something.
What do you mean he figured it out?
In that book, The Greatest Generation, right?
And that was well, I wouldn't call that investigative journalism.
No, he investigated that, and then he figured that out.
That we were a great country.
Now, to me, that's good journalism.
I mean, where would we be without Tom Brokaw?
I don't know, Moron.
Look where we are with him.
I don't follow.
Well, what I'm saying is, look where we are with him.
Yeah, I heard you say that, but then you still didn't explain it.
You just said, look where we are with them again.
Well, what I'm saying is while he was out writing a book that told us what a great country we were 40 years ago, our country was being destroyed from within by the robber barons who did it the first time in the 20s.
They deregulated the banks and crashed our economy, and along with it, the middle class is being decimated.
And what was left of the government, the military-industrial complex bought off.
So we now have two wars in foreign countries that we don't need, nor can we afford.
And the way to balance our budgets is on the backs of the working people.
So that's what I mean.
When I say look where we are with them, we have Tom Brokaw, and our country's broken.
So he's not really doing his job.
It's not his job to fix the economy and win the wars.
No, but it is his job to report on them.
And so we all Are informed about them accurately so we could maybe avoid some of these problems.
Maybe if he would have said, hey, red flag, there aren't any weapons of mass destruction.
In fact, this is a policy these guys have been trying to put in place for a decade now.
Maybe we would have listened to him and maybe we wouldn't have went to war.
Maybe if he would have said, hey, this is a Ponzi scheme that the bankers are doing the same thing they did in the 20s and they're getting over-leveraged and this is a housing bubble and it's going to burst.
Maybe we would have listened because he was our number one newsman, but he didn't say any of those things.
That's what I mean.
Boy, sounds to me like you really expect a lot out of our news media, Jim.
Yeah, I got it.
I mean, is that really their job to run around bumming us out with the bad news all the time?
Well, it's a.
Because if it is, no wonder nobody wants to do that job right.
It's called informing people, and it's a shock.
I got a question.
I was going to get Teresa a gift, you know, like a surprise.
What, like some jewelry, a diamond necklace or something?
So I was going to get the over-the-door wonder hanger.
A hanger?
Yeah, it transforms your door into a closet instantly.
Really?
All you got to do, you slide the bracket over the door and you hang up like five garments.
No tools or hardware needed, Jim.
Well, I mean, it doesn't sound like a romantic gift.
I mean, is that really what you want to give her?
Oh, yeah.
She's always complaining how cluttered her closets are.
And I got a deluxe model that's made out of chrome, so it's sexy.
Oh, it sounds very sexy.
All right, listen, Jimmy.
I gotta go.
It was good talking to you.
I see you next week.
Okay, Boron, take care, buddy.
Hey, is that the Paul Gilmartin guy on your show today?
Yeah, he's on today.
Oh, I like that guy.
He thinks just like me.
Oh, okay.
Okay, I'll let him know you said that, buddy.
Okay, bye, Jimmy.
Okay, thanks, Bora, for those.
Nice shot at me.
Nice.
Well, I didn't know.
That's more.
I said more, and he said he likes you.
Isn't that good?
It's good to meet the fans, isn't it?
You never know who you're going to connect with, Paul.
You know, see that question I asked you earlier?
You are connecting with that 33%.
Wow.
Who knew?
Who knew?
Well, before we get any further and I get up against the clock, I want to thank everybody who made today's show possible.
I want to thank Ben Zelovansky, Robert Yasimura, Stan Stankos.
I want to thank my in-studio guests, those two people again, and Paul Gilbarton.
Huh?
I want to thank my producer, Ali Lexa, for getting it done, coming in even when he's under the weather to make sure this happened.
Isn't that nice?
Thank you for sharing the flu with us, Ollie.
And I want to thank you for sharing the flu with us.
And I want to thank Steph Zamorano for playing Moron's wife.
She always does a great job on Teresa.
And Carl Palladino for taking the time to call in.
It was really nice of Carl.
He's talking about Dizzy.
Ben, those are great.
I hope you never stop.
I hope you do a Carl Palladino's calls every week.
I could listen to Carl Palladino all day.
He's fantastic.
All right, don't forget, tonight, October 14th, Flappers, FlappersComedy.club.com.
I don't know what the hell it is.
Google it.
You got to switch your weed, man.
You have got to switch your weed.
I really don't know what it is.
Yeah?
It's not like I forgot.
Yeah.
You never knew.
Is it flapperscomedy.com, Ali?
It is.
I had it right.
Gosh darn it.
I hate when you blame it on weed.
All right.
And I'll see you in Ann Arbor.
I'm on Facebook too.
That's right.
Who isn't on Facebook?
Are you guys on Facebook?
I am.
I look forward to you going to Ann Arbor where you will be looked at like Stalin compared to there.
It is such a liberal city.
Oh, it's very liberal.
It's so liberal.
I like that.
That's why I like refreshing.
Yeah, I get to do my pop and politics show there with the video.
People like that.
That's how much.
Oh, come on.
You kidding me?
Huh?
People are already buying tickets.
Okay.
Thank you, everybody, for helping out.
And everybody who's on the right podcast, God bless you.
We're switching over.
JimmyDoorComedy.com is in transition.
We have some big new changes coming up.
I'm going to let you know all about them.
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