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Oct. 21, 2025 - Jim Bakker Show
28:25
The Jim Bakker Show with Kenza Haddock
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Time Text
Arranged Marriage at 16 00:05:56
The statements in the following program have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.
These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
The content of this broadcast is not intended to substitute for professional medical advice.
Please consult your physician for personalized medical advice.
Welcome to the Jim Baker Family Show.
Today, our special guest is Kenza Haddock.
Our co-hosts today are Pastor Ricky Baker and Reverend Mondo de la Vega.
And now here is your host, Pastor Jim Baker.
Hello, everybody.
It's so good to see you.
We have a great guest today, Kenza Haddock.
Born in Casablanca.
Is that right?
Yes.
I want to know.
This is a silly question, but I want to know how you found Jesus.
Can you tell that real quick?
Yes, absolutely.
Now, it's a long story.
We're going to elaborate more than what we went over earlier.
And so I grew up in an Islamic household, and my understanding of life growing up.
Now, wait a minute.
Yes.
You were Islamic?
Yes.
Yes.
How did you get saved?
Well, let's talk about this.
Yes, I'm like a child.
How did you sign Jesus though?
Just real quick, I got what just wanted a little foundation.
Yeah, so I grew up just believing that I needed to earn salvation because that's what Muslims believe.
You can earn salvation.
And so I was under that impression.
And it leads you into this life of like trying to earn it through prayer and fasting and giving and everything else.
And that was just, I mean, my family and I moved to the States when I was 12 years old.
And when I was 16 years old, so I'm going to give you the background of what led to the counseling.
16 years old, my parents arranged a marriage for me and it was to stay in the United States.
It was a fraudulent marriage.
You mean they picked your husband?
Yes, I was a sophomore in high school.
And so, yeah, the marriage, I remember they said, we're going to the courthouse.
Make sure, I remember this very specific.
Make sure you don't kiss him on the lips.
That's what they were more concerned about.
And so, I mean, never mind, this is breaking the law.
So we go, and I'm raised to do whatever they tell me because, I mean, that's the foundation of Islam.
You have to obey your parents at no matter cost.
And so I go and I get married and there's no consummation of marriage.
I come back home and you resume school, high school, as usual, and everything.
And so that.
How old were you?
I was 16.
Oh, my, you're married at 16, but you really didn't have a marriage.
Yes, there was no marriage.
So all of that led to a lot of trauma growing up.
And Islam teaches that everything that happens to you in a negative sense is a condemnation from Allah, who, you know, is that's what Muslims call God.
And so between the trauma I experienced, and I ended up serving time for that marriage because it was fraudulent.
So I was asked about the marriage once I turned 18, and it was by NCI in the Naval Investigations Unit because the guy was in the military.
And I mean, when I was asked about the marriage, you can't throw, growing up, you can't throw your parents under the bus.
They wanted my parents because it happened when I was underage.
And so I took fault for it and I ended up serving time serving time six months.
It was so difficult.
I was so out of place.
My nickname was baby because I was the youngest there.
I mean, I was very young.
But the Lord used that.
I didn't see it then, but the Lord used that over the years.
I started questioning everything I ever believed.
I started questioning my parents and all of that.
And over that time, he started sending me dreams.
One of the dreams was I would literally fall asleep.
And you know the phone, the phones in the 80s were like you hear a phone that's ringing really loud.
I would fall asleep and I would hear the phone saying, I mean, someone's saying, your father is calling you.
And I'd wake up, right?
And then the next night, I'd fall asleep and I'd hear the phone ringing and someone saying, hey, your father is calling you.
But I didn't understand it because you don't see God as father as a Muslim.
And so the Lord sent me dreams over and over.
And toward the end, because I wasn't catching on, he sent me the big one.
And that was I had a dream.
It was the end times.
And I looked out my window and I saw the sky open.
And then I saw a man in a white robe coming down from the sky with his arms wide open.
And I knew, I just, in my spirit, I knew that was Jesus.
I mean, you can't deny him.
And he was coming down in authority.
And so I wish I could say I woke up and gave my life to Jesus and everything was great, but that's not the reality for a Muslim, a typical Muslim, because giving your life to Jesus means you're violating apostasy law for Muslims.
And that is...
How long before you really found Jesus?
About eight to ten months.
It took me eight to ten months in searching and trying to figure out because I had never held a Bible.
I've never read scripture.
I knew nothing.
And so in order for me to give my life to Jesus, so I moved to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, and I continued the search there.
And I ended up giving my life to Jesus.
And shortly after that, the Lord called me into the field of counseling.
And your husband is a Christian?
Yes, I met him shortly after.
Forgiving the Narcissist 00:15:41
He's a handsome, big man.
Yes.
And you've got two beautiful kids.
Yes, I do.
Then you and your husband have a institution that helps people.
Yeah, we have a practice.
The Lord called us to open the practice.
And I mean, he has blessed it in the last five to six years.
We have several locations, and we have 50 counselors in our practice now.
Yeah.
Wow.
And you've written a book for one of my dear friends at Charisma.
Yeah.
And if you want to get her book, listen to me.
I don't know of any other book like this in America written by a Christian person like you.
It's called Unmasking Narcissism.
What does narcissism mean to you?
So narcissism is not just having selfish tendencies, right?
We all have selfish tendencies because we were all born with a sinful nature.
But when we give our lives to Jesus, God starts sanctifying us through that process of sanctification, right?
But a true narcissist is somebody who exhibits certain symptoms, and that is they truly believe, they have deceived themselves into believing they are God's gift to earth.
They are obsessed with being the best, whether it's the prettiest, the most powerful, the richest.
But I'm not talking about a spirit of excellence.
How many people do you think in America are narcissistic?
People who actually fit the criteria for narcissistic personality, it's about, I would say, no more than 7%.
And unfortunately, being in a relationship with, you know, with someone who exhibits narcissistic personality, whether that person is, you know, your parent or even an adult child, because that can happen, or someone you're in a relationship with, what happens over time is you start questioning your own reality.
That's why it's so important that our identity is founded on God's word.
If not, we're going to start walking on shaky ground because they make you question who you are and you start believing them more than you believe God's word if you're not honed in on God's word.
How do people recognize narcissism?
Yeah, you start questioning your own reality.
You start just having those self-deprecating thoughts in relation to that relationship.
And so then you start, this is how you know you are in a relationship with someone who's narcissistic.
It seems like your emotions fall and rise on their mood, basically.
And that's one of the symptoms.
And so, yeah, you have to be very, very careful.
But also, you know, psychology is the observation of behavior.
But there's also that foundation of theology that we have to have.
And that's why just treating it psychologically, it can, it can help, but it's only a temporary help.
Theology and understanding your identity in Christ and exercising forgiveness toward the person.
We can talk even more about that.
Now, this book helps.
This is brand new.
And it is published by Charisma, which is a major publishing company.
I've written books with them.
And they are really good people.
And they'll mail it right to your house.
So you'll get the first one if you maybe have had problems with other people you feel have messed your life up with what they were demanding of you.
And that's unmasking narcissism, exposing and breaking free from hidden patterns of abuse.
This is the only book about this that I know of.
You know, biblically, as Christians, it seems like we're afraid to even tackle or even identify narcissism.
Listen, what you need to do is call the number 1-888-988-1588 or go to the website, jimbakershow.com and visit the affiliate page with Charisma House and get this book because I can almost guarantee you that your sons, your daughters, maybe even you have dealt with being a narcissist and don't understand why we self-destruct.
Can I say this?
You talk about confession time.
I wrote a book called My Crazy Life, The Moments That Brought a Gangster to Graves.
And in that book, absolutely.
And I want to tell you something.
Most people won't tell you they're a narcissist because that's how much they're a narcissist.
But I confessed, I made a confession in my book about being a narcissist in the streets in the gang culture in order to survive.
That was my identity.
I used it as protection, but it also harmed me in ways because I couldn't keep relationships.
I couldn't, my environment.
Can I ask you this, Kenza?
A narcissist, when you encounter a narcissist, what is it about a narcissist that cannot keep under control their emotions?
So what you're describing is it's the narcissist who became that way due to trauma.
Sometimes we can experience a certain level of trauma.
And because we don't process through our emotions, what happens is this root of bitterness is right there.
So we have a root of bitterness that we are led by.
And so because of that, we walk around with a chip on our shoulder, unfortunately, and we feel like the world owes us because of what we experienced.
So I've seen that.
And so it hardens our heart because the Lord is knocking on our heart, on the door of our heart.
But we harden our heart because we view relationships as vulnerability and we do not want to be vulnerable.
And that's a big thing because if I'm vulnerable, then that person, I mean, I've heard someone say, what is intimacy?
It's into me, you see, right?
And so they don't want to open their hearts to that, to someone else.
And so that's one.
Another way is if someone grows up with someone doting over them, and I'm not talking about encouragement or praise.
A lot of times, and I speak to mamas out there, I know dads sometimes, but I've seen it a lot with moms where they doed over their child so much so that they're like the sun and everything revolves around them.
Well, what happens when that child grows up and that's all they know?
They go out into the work environment and they're like, well, what do you mean you're going to fire me because I came to work late?
I'm used to people just, you know, just catering.
Yeah.
Wow.
You're describing me when I was growing up in the gang because the trauma was the foundation of discovering the narcissistic part of me that kept me alive.
I didn't allow anybody to even get near me to get to know me.
And I became very self-destructive.
Everything around me was self-destructive.
But culturally, it's amazing how, especially in the Latino community, mamas will create a narcissistic out of a son.
And then the son becomes destructive in community and culture.
How do we help people that are dealing with someone that is narcissistic?
How do we deal with that?
Yeah, so number one, first of all, we have, that person has to give their life to Jesus.
I mean, that's the person who experienced narcissistic abuse.
You don't want to go at it alone.
You want to go at it with the Lord.
So give your life to Jesus.
And also, like one of the steps I include in the book is you have to practice forgiving that person.
And sometimes you don't just forgive them one time because you're dealing with the consequences of their actions, right?
And so you have to forgive them.
For me, in my own life, you know, serving time, that meant I had a felony on my record.
And so when I applied to get my counseling license, I remembered what my parents did to me.
And so I had to remember, you know what, I have already forgiven them.
And I need, that's under the blood.
And if the Lord called me to this, he's going to make a way.
And he made a way, right?
And so we have to give more power to God and his sovereignty than we do to the person who is continuously hurting us.
And another thing, which one of the steps I put on there after you forgive, and there's a process of forgiving, right?
Is dealing with inner vows that you have made as a result of narcissistic abuse.
Because once you experience narcissistic abuse, and that's really what that's for, it's to help you heal from narcissistic abuse.
You have inner vows.
For example, you know, I'll never be like my mom, right?
If I say I'll never be like my mom, then I'm setting this high standard over myself that says with my children, I'm going to be this perfect parent.
Well, what happens?
Every time I fall short of being that perfect parent, the enemy comes in and whispers, see, you're just like her.
Or see, you're not good enough.
And so then I'm stuck in this self-torment.
Wow.
Dad, it always goes back to forgiveness.
Yeah.
And that's one of the most difficult subjects that as Christians, as people, as a matter of fact, I was teaching Bible study at a tattoo shop yesterday.
And listen, by the way, if you're in the Branson area and you don't have a place to go to Bible study, come see me at the tattoo shop.
Because it's a new thing that is happening.
But the number one question is, how do I forgive?
How do I forgive my father?
He's a narcissist.
How do I forgive my mother?
How do I forgive my wife?
How do I forgive my husband?
And I want to tell you something.
This book is going to give you the key to help you navigate someone that loves you but keeps hurting you because it's all about them.
I want to give you the number 1-888-988-1588 and get several copies of this book because it's going to give you the roadmap and the steps on how to heal from someone that has abused you with their narcissism.
Power of forgiveness is key.
I love what you said.
I love what you said.
First, accept Jesus Christ.
Amen.
That tells me that's the foundation to understanding how to defeat the spirit of narcissistic.
And I want to tell you something.
Without Jesus, we have nothing.
No, we don't.
That's at the end of the day, that's the key.
Yeah, absolutely.
Because that person who hurt you, the reason, I'll say this, if you're in a relationship, let's say a romantic relationship with a narcissistic person, a true narcissist is not going to get in a relationship with someone who's emotionally healthy because they're going to be repelled by them.
They consciously look for someone who has low self-esteem because then they become the love bomb, which means they meet that person, that person has low self-esteem, and so they look at them and they're like, you're this great person.
So what happens when you receive this insurmountable amount of praise, your dopamine, there's a chemical in your body, dopamine.
It's a feel-good hormone.
It literally lifts up and lifts up your spirits.
Now, what happens when that person literally now takes off their mask and starts treating you the way someone who truly is narcissistic treats you?
Your dopamine, you go into a dopamine crisis.
You go into depression.
And that's why it's very hard.
I like to bring this up.
A lot of times people give a hard time to someone who can't leave a narcissistic relationship.
You can't leave unless you have a foundation of God's word in your life.
Because until you know who you belong to and know that I belong to Jesus and this is what he says about me, there's no, it's going to be very, very difficult.
You'll leave, but then you'll come back because it's like a drug.
Dopamine is a drug.
Wow.
Kenza, I want to ask you about your book.
This is the first time that I know of that I've received a Christian book on narcissism.
I'm sure there's a million I've written on by the world, but it's a Christian book.
Is there a lot of them out there or do you know?
You probably know more than I do.
There are.
What I have seen is there are books from a Christian perspective and there are books from a secular perspective.
And so what I wanted to do is bridge the two because it's, it's really good to understand the science behind it too, because like just with the dopamine up and crash.
There's not a lot of them in bookstores, so I'm just telling you, if you want to find out how to unmask narcissism, exposing and breaking free from hidden patterns of abuse, order this book right now.
It's rare.
It's by a Christian who understands the power of God and the breaking of narcissism.
Narcissism is a destructive power that is happening to many, many people.
Tell me, what are some of the key points of dealing with narcissism?
Yeah.
How do you get free if you're not narcissistic?
So you want to identify which trap you're stuck in because as a result of narcissistic abuse, you're going to get stuck in one of the four traps.
That's why narcissistic abuse recovery and healing from it is not a cookie-cutter healing process.
And so are you.
I see.
I just hope your book said, Trap of Arrogance, the Trap of Overaccommodating.
Yeah.
Those are traps.
Yes.
Or self-sabotage sometimes as a result of being stuck in narcissistic abuse.
Trap of rebellion.
Yes.
Yes.
Where you're like, you know what?
I'm not going to trust anyone.
I'm just going to go my own way.
And so the trap of rebellion and arrogance look the same, but one is just fears rejection so much that they turn the other way.
And that's why it's important that we know who God is and we understand His love for us.
Well, I want you to get this book.
If you know anybody that is narcissistic, this is a heartbreaking disease, really.
I call it a disease, narcissism.
And if you get this book, you're going to find out the whys and hows to deal with narcissism.
I beg you to get this book because it'll set you free.
Amen.
Just call us at 1-88-988-1588 or just go to our website, www.jimbakershow.com.
You know, I was just before we went on the air, Ricky, I was reading that a coffee shop had tried to honor Charlie Kirk, you know, who was murdered.
Righteousness Wins 00:07:10
Of course.
And this and people were very evil in the beginning.
But she put on her cups to honor Charlie Kirk.
Yes.
And she's been flooded with millions and rather thousands, I should say, people who come to her coffee shop because they want to honor Charlie Kirk.
And so she won.
And I'll tell you, righteousness wins.
Now, a narcissistic person would want to do that.
They'd want to do it if they thought everybody was happy with them.
But I just, I saw this and I thought Charlie Kirk has probably won more young people to Christ than any man on earth.
And we need to thank God for what He stood for.
And we're living in the end times.
And I really wanted to talk today about end times, but Kins' book is so important to you that I want you to order this book and stand.
And maybe you know someone who's been abusing you by their narcissism.
And they don't even know what they're doing.
It needs to be broken in the name of Jesus.
What do you think, Ricky?
Well, it's absolutely true.
I mean, if we're dealing with something that is causing a root of bitterness, a root of anger, it needs to be addressed.
And honestly, if you're going through this and you feel like, hey, you know, I have these tendencies, first and foremost, get in front of the Lord.
Why?
Because when you're in Christ, you're a new creation.
He can take and change and transform your life.
If you're somebody who's dealing with this, I recommend getting godly counsel.
Go find your pastor.
Go find someone who you can trust.
Go find a good Christian counselor.
You know, you can go find a regular counselor and they would do a good job, but find a Bible-believing counselor who will point you back to Christ every single time.
I promise you, when you are in Christ, you are a new creation.
When you're in Christ, you can be transformed and you can live a new life, not going back to those things that bound you, not going back to those things that held you down.
You can walk freely in what Jesus has for you.
And you can truly unmask narcissism.
I like that you just titled it that, unmasking narcissism.
Let people know right off the jump what it is, but it's not the simple fact of just unmasking for the sake of unmasking.
It's unmasking so people can find healing, isn't that right?
Yes, absolutely.
Yes, healing is possible because greater is he that is in us than he who is in the world.
Say one more word about Jesus and that you were born in Casablanca.
You have been set free and you're helping millions of people really with narcissism.
I don't know of any church or pastor that's really dealing with this.
I'm sure there are, but I don't know them.
Yeah.
One thing that we shared earlier, and that is if you struggle from panic attacks first thing in the morning, whether it's from abuse or you just experience anxiety, one thing you can do is wake up in the morning, instead of looking at your phone, which I'm guilty of that as well, is spend time thanking God for everything he has done for you.
Spend time thanking God for just things that he has done for you.
Because as you do that, your body releases a chemical that is an antidepressant.
It's called serotonin.
And as it releases that chemical, your anxiety has to lower.
From a biblical perspective, the Bible says that God inhabits the praises of his people.
He does.
Right?
And so when God inhabits those praises, the enemy can't stay in an environment where God is being praised.
So he has to flee, and so will the anxiety with him.
This is a rare book.
You're not going to find it on every shelf.
But if you want to hear about narcissism, I'm begging you to get this book.
This is what this program does.
And when you're writing to us, be sure to stand with us and support this ministry and keep it on the air.
Amen.
God loves you.
He really does.
Bye-bye for today.
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The statements in the preceding program have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.
Content Not For Diagnosis 00:00:20
These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
The content of this broadcast is not intended to substitute for professional medical advice.
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