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Aug. 2, 2022 - Jim Bakker Show
09:19
I Hit Rock Bottom. Here's How Jesus Saved Me. | Laurie Ditto on The Jim Bakker Show
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Time Text
God's Appointment 00:09:18
Lori, in the early 2000s, you hit rock bottom.
What happened?
You know, it was a process.
I was lost and lost people, it's easy to get attacked by the enemy.
Yes.
And, you know, one mistake led to another mistake.
Mike and I were married, but it wasn't a good marriage.
And we had children and everything became so overwhelming, Jim, that the only way out for me, and there were demons talking to me.
Demons talk to lost people all the time.
And these demons kept telling me, you're breathing somebody else's air.
You need to take your life.
And so that's what I was ready to do.
The only saving grace, the only thing that saved me was demons are very, they never get enough.
They were like, you need to also bring your children.
I loved my kids.
I love my kids.
I couldn't commit suicide for them.
So it's what kept me here long enough for God to intervene on my behalf.
So I needed rescuing.
I needed a savior.
I needed Jesus.
I just didn't know that's who I needed.
Tell us about the life-changing experience at the International House of Prayer Conference.
We love them over there.
Thank you.
You know, it just happened.
A postcard came to my house.
A woman had said to me, because I told her, I said, I'm so sad.
And now I was on medication for my sadness.
I had upped my cigarette smoking.
I was now smoking three and a half packs of cigarettes a day.
And you know, I used to smoke in the shower.
Oh, my.
You can do that when you smoke three and a half packs of cigarettes.
But I needed help, and this postcard came to my house.
I don't know why.
And you were in Michigan.
Yeah, you weren't in Kansas City where IHOP is.
Right.
You were in Michigan.
Yes, ma'am.
Right.
That's where you live.
And a random postcard came to your house in Michigan, right?
I read it in the book.
I'm like, oh, my.
We hate talking about IHOP, but we're not talking about International House of Pancake.
Well, no, we're talking about International House of Prayer.
Yes.
So this postcard came to my house, and I held it.
And you know, when you pray over things and you send them out, it really works.
And so I held this postcard and I knew I have got to go here.
So I asked my husband, Mike, I said, do you care if I go here?
He was excited I'd get out of bed and get dressed.
Because you were in such depression.
Yeah, I couldn't.
Nothing could pull me out.
So he said, yeah, go ahead.
So I got there and this was back in 2000.
It didn't look like it looks now.
It was in just some trailers.
And with a name like International House of Prayer, I was expecting something very grand.
And when I got there, it wasn't.
But God was there, and he had an appointment for me.
And I remember one of the first things that encountered me was there was a lady singing in the spirit, singing with the gift of tongues.
And, you know, that is such a powerful gift.
But I had grown up, what do we think about this?
Right.
You know, but when it happens to you, it's real.
It's so real.
So while I was there, I left, I came back.
I heard the voice of God.
He said, what do you want?
I want to know if that tongue stuff is real, God.
Now I'm singing in tongues.
I'm like, it's real.
Yeah, it's real.
It's easy to explain something when you got it.
It's easy to pick on something when you don't.
That's right.
You know?
So, but then I left again.
I come back.
And this time I came with a list.
I thought, you know, at that time in 2000, there was this name it claim it thing.
Yeah.
And I thought, okay, if God's going to ask me, what do you want?
I want three things.
I want a log cabin on Lake Superior because that's where we lived.
I want two four-wheel drive vehicles because I figured my name's Ditto.
Again.
I need one, Mike Nice one.
And then the third thing that I wanted was world peace.
Because I thought, why hasn't somebody asked God yet for world peace?
And I waited and waited and waited and waited.
Nothing happened, Jim.
So I thought, maybe he's like a genie in the bottle.
Because, you know, if you don't know God, you don't know.
Right.
So I thought maybe he's like a genie in the bottle.
And I already used one of my wishes.
That's it.
I'm giving three wishes.
So I dumped the world peace because I thought somebody else must have asked for that.
And it must be too hard for God to do world peace.
So I thought, okay, I really want the log cabin because it costs more.
That's how lost people think.
And I was very lost.
And while I'm sitting there waiting for God to encounter me, I see other people.
They're getting up leaving.
I'm thinking, well, they must have gotten what they wanted already from God.
And then in an instant, I was in heaven.
Here I am, a lost woman.
Miss Lori, I was in heaven and I knew Jesus.
You know, when he knit us and formed us together, he put his fingerprints all over who we are.
When you see him, you will know him.
And he is so glorious.
He's so beautiful.
Jesus is perfect.
You know, I was trying to think, okay, well, how would I explain this?
When I had my first child and I was taking care of my baby, I started, just started to scratch the surface of what my mother must have done for me.
God has done everything for us.
And so when you say he's perfect and he's beautiful, it's because you're scratching the surface of just getting to know how perfect and wonderful he is.
He stood in this archway and he wanted me to see him in his glory.
He tried to turn himself up.
The only way I can explain that is I had a light in the kitchen one time that was on a dimmer switch.
You can turn it way down low.
He tried to turn himself up and the only thing I could do was shut my eyes.
God want, you know, the scriptures teach you can become like him if you will behold him.
So you have to look at him and see him.
And so he had to turn himself way, way down so that I could see him.
But while he was turning down, he looked like a man made out of water or a man made out of light.
And I knew all light comes from this one man.
And Jesus smiled at me.
He saw something in me that I've never seen.
I've never seen the beauty and the importance.
And at the time, you know, I had low or no self-esteem.
I had no self-worth.
I didn't know who I was.
I just wanted to take my life.
But he saw something valuable because he created me to be somebody.
And as I looked at him, I thought, I'm safe.
I'm finally safe.
It was so remarkable.
Do you want me to continue telling you?
But you said that you can only behold the Lord to the degree that we love and obey him.
Is that what you're saying?
That's true.
So the wattage of God is non-stop.
Let's say the highest a human could go would be a thousand watts.
When you're lost, you're negative.
That's right.
You're not even at zero.
You're not even a positive number.
You're negative.
And so as you love and obey God, your wattage gets higher.
So the higher your wattage goes, the more of God's glory you can behold.
That's why lost people aren't interested in the glory of God at all.
They can't see it.
They can't smell it.
They don't understand it.
They can't touch it.
It's because they don't love and obey.
Those words go together.
It says in the scripture, if you love me, you will obey me about Jesus.
And so if you love God, you must obey him.
Otherwise, you're turning your switch down.
You won't be able to behold the glory that you saw yesterday if you don't obey God today.
And it will increase.
It's either increasing or decreasing.
And I want on the fast track.
I want to see God where he turns himself on in all of his splendor.
And it just will wow us.
God is so awesome.
And if we could hang in there and just obey God, even if we don't understand.
And that was in the beginning of my Christian walk.
That was back in 2000.
In the beginning, it was like I thought I had to understand.
You can't understand God.
He's God, the Creator.
Just obey Him because He's a good, good Father.
And that's what He wanted for me was my happiness.
It's amazing.
What God wants for me is my happiness.
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