Jim Bakker Show - I Hit Rock Bottom. Here's How Jesus Saved Me. | Laurie Ditto on The Jim Bakker Show
Aired: 2022-08-02
Duration: 09:19


=== God's Appointment (09:18) ===

[00:00:00]  Lori, in the early 2000s, you hit rock bottom.
[00:00:05]  What happened?
[00:00:06]  You know, it was a process.
[00:00:09]  I was lost and lost people, it's easy to get attacked by the enemy.
[00:00:15]  Yes.
[00:00:16]  And, you know, one mistake led to another mistake.
[00:00:20]  Mike and I were married, but it wasn't a good marriage.
[00:00:23]  And we had children and everything became so overwhelming, Jim, that the only way out for me, and there were demons talking to me.
[00:00:31]  Demons talk to lost people all the time.
[00:00:34]  And these demons kept telling me, you're breathing somebody else's air.
[00:00:37]  You need to take your life.
[00:00:40]  And so that's what I was ready to do.
[00:00:42]  The only saving grace, the only thing that saved me was demons are very, they never get enough.
[00:00:49]  They were like, you need to also bring your children.
[00:00:54]  I loved my kids.
[00:00:55]  I love my kids.
[00:00:57]  I couldn't commit suicide for them.
[00:00:59]  So it's what kept me here long enough for God to intervene on my behalf.
[00:01:06]  So I needed rescuing.
[00:01:08]  I needed a savior.
[00:01:09]  I needed Jesus.
[00:01:11]  I just didn't know that's who I needed.
[00:01:15]  Tell us about the life-changing experience at the International House of Prayer Conference.
[00:01:21]  We love them over there.
[00:01:22]  Thank you.
[00:01:22]  You know, it just happened.
[00:01:25]  A postcard came to my house.
[00:01:28]  A woman had said to me, because I told her, I said, I'm so sad.
[00:01:31]  And now I was on medication for my sadness.
[00:01:35]  I had upped my cigarette smoking.
[00:01:37]  I was now smoking three and a half packs of cigarettes a day.
[00:01:41]  And you know, I used to smoke in the shower.
[00:01:43]  Oh, my.
[00:01:44]  You can do that when you smoke three and a half packs of cigarettes.
[00:01:47]  But I needed help, and this postcard came to my house.
[00:01:50]  I don't know why.
[00:01:51]  And you were in Michigan.
[00:01:53]  Yeah, you weren't in Kansas City where IHOP is.
[00:01:56]  Right.
[00:01:57]  You were in Michigan.
[00:01:58]  Yes, ma'am.
[00:01:59]  Right.
[00:01:59]  That's where you live.
[00:02:00]  And a random postcard came to your house in Michigan, right?
[00:02:04]  I read it in the book.
[00:02:07]  I'm like, oh, my.
[00:02:08]  We hate talking about IHOP, but we're not talking about International House of Pancake.
[00:02:12]  Well, no, we're talking about International House of Prayer.
[00:02:16]  Yes.
[00:02:17]  So this postcard came to my house, and I held it.
[00:02:22]  And you know, when you pray over things and you send them out, it really works.
[00:02:27]  And so I held this postcard and I knew I have got to go here.
[00:02:32]  So I asked my husband, Mike, I said, do you care if I go here?
[00:02:36]  He was excited I'd get out of bed and get dressed.
[00:02:38]  Because you were in such depression.
[00:02:40]  Yeah, I couldn't.
[00:02:41]  Nothing could pull me out.
[00:02:42]  So he said, yeah, go ahead.
[00:02:44]  So I got there and this was back in 2000.
[00:02:47]  It didn't look like it looks now.
[00:02:50]  It was in just some trailers.
[00:02:52]  And with a name like International House of Prayer, I was expecting something very grand.
[00:02:57]  And when I got there, it wasn't.
[00:02:59]  But God was there, and he had an appointment for me.
[00:03:03]  And I remember one of the first things that encountered me was there was a lady singing in the spirit, singing with the gift of tongues.
[00:03:14]  And, you know, that is such a powerful gift.
[00:03:17]  But I had grown up, what do we think about this?
[00:03:20]  Right.
[00:03:21]  You know, but when it happens to you, it's real.
[00:03:25]  It's so real.
[00:03:27]  So while I was there, I left, I came back.
[00:03:32]  I heard the voice of God.
[00:03:33]  He said, what do you want?
[00:03:35]  I want to know if that tongue stuff is real, God.
[00:03:37]  Now I'm singing in tongues.
[00:03:40]  I'm like, it's real.
[00:03:41]  Yeah, it's real.
[00:03:42]  It's easy to explain something when you got it.
[00:03:45]  It's easy to pick on something when you don't.
[00:03:47]  That's right.
[00:03:48]  You know?
[00:03:48]  So, but then I left again.
[00:03:50]  I come back.
[00:03:51]  And this time I came with a list.
[00:03:53]  I thought, you know, at that time in 2000, there was this name it claim it thing.
[00:03:58]  Yeah.
[00:03:58]  And I thought, okay, if God's going to ask me, what do you want?
[00:04:01]  I want three things.
[00:04:02]  I want a log cabin on Lake Superior because that's where we lived.
[00:04:09]  I want two four-wheel drive vehicles because I figured my name's Ditto.
[00:04:13]  Again.
[00:04:14]  I need one, Mike Nice one.
[00:04:16]  And then the third thing that I wanted was world peace.
[00:04:19]  Because I thought, why hasn't somebody asked God yet for world peace?
[00:04:24]  And I waited and waited and waited and waited.
[00:04:26]  Nothing happened, Jim.
[00:04:28]  So I thought, maybe he's like a genie in the bottle.
[00:04:31]  Because, you know, if you don't know God, you don't know.
[00:04:33]  Right.
[00:04:34]  So I thought maybe he's like a genie in the bottle.
[00:04:37]  And I already used one of my wishes.
[00:04:39]  That's it.
[00:04:39]  I'm giving three wishes.
[00:04:40]  So I dumped the world peace because I thought somebody else must have asked for that.
[00:04:44]  And it must be too hard for God to do world peace.
[00:04:47]  So I thought, okay, I really want the log cabin because it costs more.
[00:04:51]  That's how lost people think.
[00:04:53]  And I was very lost.
[00:04:55]  And while I'm sitting there waiting for God to encounter me, I see other people.
[00:05:01]  They're getting up leaving.
[00:05:02]  I'm thinking, well, they must have gotten what they wanted already from God.
[00:05:06]  And then in an instant, I was in heaven.
[00:05:11]  Here I am, a lost woman.
[00:05:15]  Miss Lori, I was in heaven and I knew Jesus.
[00:05:19]  You know, when he knit us and formed us together, he put his fingerprints all over who we are.
[00:05:25]  When you see him, you will know him.
[00:05:29]  And he is so glorious.
[00:05:31]  He's so beautiful.
[00:05:33]  Jesus is perfect.
[00:05:35]  You know, I was trying to think, okay, well, how would I explain this?
[00:05:40]  When I had my first child and I was taking care of my baby, I started, just started to scratch the surface of what my mother must have done for me.
[00:05:50]  God has done everything for us.
[00:05:53]  And so when you say he's perfect and he's beautiful, it's because you're scratching the surface of just getting to know how perfect and wonderful he is.
[00:06:03]  He stood in this archway and he wanted me to see him in his glory.
[00:06:10]  He tried to turn himself up.
[00:06:12]  The only way I can explain that is I had a light in the kitchen one time that was on a dimmer switch.
[00:06:17]  You can turn it way down low.
[00:06:19]  He tried to turn himself up and the only thing I could do was shut my eyes.
[00:06:24]  God want, you know, the scriptures teach you can become like him if you will behold him.
[00:06:30]  So you have to look at him and see him.
[00:06:33]  And so he had to turn himself way, way down so that I could see him.
[00:06:38]  But while he was turning down, he looked like a man made out of water or a man made out of light.
[00:06:44]  And I knew all light comes from this one man.
[00:06:48]  And Jesus smiled at me.
[00:06:52]  He saw something in me that I've never seen.
[00:06:56]  I've never seen the beauty and the importance.
[00:06:59]  And at the time, you know, I had low or no self-esteem.
[00:07:03]  I had no self-worth.
[00:07:04]  I didn't know who I was.
[00:07:06]  I just wanted to take my life.
[00:07:07]  But he saw something valuable because he created me to be somebody.
[00:07:13]  And as I looked at him, I thought, I'm safe.
[00:07:16]  I'm finally safe.
[00:07:19]  It was so remarkable.
[00:07:22]  Do you want me to continue telling you?
[00:07:24]  But you said that you can only behold the Lord to the degree that we love and obey him.
[00:07:31]  Is that what you're saying?
[00:07:32]  That's true.
[00:07:33]  So the wattage of God is non-stop.
[00:07:40]  Let's say the highest a human could go would be a thousand watts.
[00:07:43]  When you're lost, you're negative.
[00:07:46]  That's right.
[00:07:46]  You're not even at zero.
[00:07:47]  You're not even a positive number.
[00:07:49]  You're negative.
[00:07:50]  And so as you love and obey God, your wattage gets higher.
[00:07:56]  So the higher your wattage goes, the more of God's glory you can behold.
[00:08:01]  That's why lost people aren't interested in the glory of God at all.
[00:08:04]  They can't see it.
[00:08:05]  They can't smell it.
[00:08:06]  They don't understand it.
[00:08:07]  They can't touch it.
[00:08:08]  It's because they don't love and obey.
[00:08:10]  Those words go together.
[00:08:13]  It says in the scripture, if you love me, you will obey me about Jesus.
[00:08:19]  And so if you love God, you must obey him.
[00:08:22]  Otherwise, you're turning your switch down.
[00:08:26]  You won't be able to behold the glory that you saw yesterday if you don't obey God today.
[00:08:32]  And it will increase.
[00:08:33]  It's either increasing or decreasing.
[00:08:35]  And I want on the fast track.
[00:08:38]  I want to see God where he turns himself on in all of his splendor.
[00:08:42]  And it just will wow us.
[00:08:44]  God is so awesome.
[00:08:47]  And if we could hang in there and just obey God, even if we don't understand.
[00:08:52]  And that was in the beginning of my Christian walk.
[00:08:55]  That was back in 2000.
[00:08:57]  In the beginning, it was like I thought I had to understand.
[00:09:02]  You can't understand God.
[00:09:04]  He's God, the Creator.
[00:09:07]  Just obey Him because He's a good, good Father.
[00:09:11]  And that's what He wanted for me was my happiness.
[00:09:14]  It's amazing.
[00:09:16]  What God wants for me is my happiness.