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Jan. 31, 2025 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
40:09
S6E75 - AN HOUR WITH GOD (FREE PART)

  The big guy is in a great mood today as he continually steers the Ouija board to sprinkles, silly trans people, retarded lesbians, and drunk women crashing their golf carts.

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Take that, Australia.
There's some San Jose Mathcore.
Not only is it a fucking crazy song that reminds me of Victim's Family and all those weird hardcore bands like Adrenaline OD and No Means No, but the video is fucking amazing.
I think he actually barfs in it.
Go play some more of that.
It's so good.
Not in an instant.
Not in an instant.
Where's the beginning and where is the end?
What counts as hard as...
Oh, I fucked a skeleton before.
You guys ever fucked a skeleton?
No.
Losers.
You know what I fucked once?
What?
What?
The world.
We were tree planting, and someone bet me 20 bucks I couldn't stick my dick into a swamp and fuck the world.
So I said, no problem.
I'll get a boner.
I haven't been laid.
You're tree planting, right?
And you don't beat off when you tree plant.
It's like Rollins black flag vibes where you're straight edge.
And no coffee, nothing.
And it's easy to get a boner.
And then I went and I fucked the swamp.
Does it feel good?
Nope.
It doesn't feel good at all.
But I can say I've fucked the world.
I've never thrown a wiener down a hallway.
I have had a bowl of pissed corn flakes and I have danced with something up my ass, which is seen by my enemies as the ultimate Achilles heel.
He stuck a butt plug up his ass to own the libs.
Yeah, I did.
I was showing the world that I could dance better than Hillary with something up my ass because she dances like she's got something up her ass.
That's a gotcha?
Okay.
Today is a free episode brought to you by God.
We have God as my co-pilot on this show.
He chooses the stories.
Well, we just follow.
I redid the God Wheel and it had no war on kids and no racism on it because it's kind of depressing for a Friday.
But then I thought, it's censored.tv.
I can't be censoring God.
What if he is really worried about the kids?
And there have been episodes that are just war on kids, feminism, like family, family, family.
Okay.
There must be some babies out there he wanted to make that episode.
So I'll show you what I did.
I put some chalk on it.
So like, so say we get to robots, which I really want to talk about.
It doesn't have an interstitial.
But say he's like, no, not robots, war on kids.
Then if it goes here, it's war on kids.
You can't really see the chalk, but it says W-O-C.
And then here with hotties, see, I really Fridayed up the wheel.
If he really wants to talk about blacks and racism, then it'll land there.
So he still has the right to choose.
And that's what we're all about on the show.
We are the pro-choice network, the right to choose.
90% of the topics on the show are abortion.
We have Liz Plank on every second episode, and she tells us about women's...
We call it women's reproductive rights.
And for us, the most important thing is the ability to kill babies.
We want as many babies killed as possible because we're racists.
And abortion is mostly just culling the black population, as Margaret Sanger proposed when she created Planned Parenthood.
And we're following in her footsteps, making the black population smaller, one abortion at a time.
That's actually the motto of the show, Get Off My Lawn.
And that says it on the t-shirts.
And then it has an aborted black baby on the bottom of the shirt with blood everywhere.
It's kind of death metal.
And it's our brand.
Speaking of our brand, Purple Works Nutrition.
I'm on it right now.
I had a great workout today.
I actually did a quarter of an Adderall and some Purple Works Nutrition.
I probably shouldn't say that.
Don't do that.
But I've had a bad cold and a cough.
And I thought, I'm just going to fast forward it.
Rather than be a lug and sit in bed all day, I'm going to do a little, a fifth of a pant-pissing pill.
You always piss the bed when you do Adderall because you drink half a bottle of bourbon.
This is probably not great for Purple Works nutrition, what I'm saying here.
So ignore that part.
And then did the Purple Works, went to the gym, was lifting things fucking way out of my league.
You know, what do you call these?
What?
No, these are presses.
So presses?
Presses?
Dumbbell presses.
Well, yeah, it's dumbbell press, 35 pounds each.
40 pounds each, sorry.
And then 15, break, 15, break, 15.
I couldn't do that normally.
That's way out of my league.
But I can with Purple Works.
So go to PurpleWorksNutrition.com.
Use the promo code GAVIN, 15% off.
And they are really pushing your New Year's resolutions.
So I know you made some crazy commitments to yourself this year.
This is a round when people give up.
PurpleWorks will prevent you from giving up.
You will hang on to your New Year's resolutions.
My goal is to get below 200.
I was 208.
I'm down to 204.
I need to get below 200.
We tweeted out that confrontation I had with an African-American person of color.
And all the comments are about my beer belly.
They're body shaming me.
It's not that bad, is it?
The problem is when you have, you drink like five pints at a bar, and it's comfortably like this, and sort of your posture pushes it out.
It's not that bad.
Anyway, Purple Works Nutrition, great way to pursue your goals at the gym, stay in shape, stay sane.
I like going to the gym because it prevents me from being an alcoholic.
Because I go, I don't want to get too wasted.
I'll puke tomorrow at the gym because I am definitely going.
Yeah.
I'd like to make something clear here too.
The guy behind me is sort of...
You know what I mean?
Like I'm leaning back with my posture.
Yeah, it's not like a fat chick defending her fatness.
A great way to absorb big loogies that you hack out onto the floor.
Put a New York Post on it.
It's like putting a bird on it.
So yeah, PurpleWorksNutrition.com, promo code Gavin, 15% off.
And don't forget to show the delicious shit I do.
I can never remember the name, Indigo?
Incandescent?
Invictus.
Invictus.
That's what I'm on right now, Invictus.
I was going to do the Phil Collins song, Take a Look at Me Now.
It's as the intro song.
It's pretty boring.
We've all heard it a million times.
But I saw a lesbian ape who has convinced herself that she's actually a human being, act it out.
And it's the most awkward thing I've ever seen in my life.
I could watch it a hundred times.
What is it with lesbians where they're so unself-aware?
You know what I mean?
Like gays, homosexual men.
No, no, no, this is one too.
Homosexual men, they know that they're ridiculous, so they lean into it and go like, I'm a big fag, you guys.
And I'm not trying to be cool.
I'm just silly.
Here's a mustache and long hair and whatever.
Some of the more trans ones have gotten, you know, defensive.
But generally, my history with the gays is them acknowledging their silliness.
Lesbians, on the other hand, are fucking serious as shit.
And that's, if you're going to be that guy, you better be the big mustache guy from Roadhouse who does the car commercials.
Or like Chuck Zito or something.
If you're going to be the serious dude, you better be like very attractive and very tough and have, you know, a great background.
Look at this thing.
Look at this weird M ⁇ M pumpkin.
And the zooming in and out.
Where's your hand?
What's your hand doing?
She looks like crunchy cereal.
She looks like her monkey face.
Me?
Look at her outfit.
I love the cat in the background.
Is that a dog?
This is a dog.
Her brock just can't handle it.
Impressed that she knows the lyrics.
I don't know.
I went to high school with him.
He's like a good guy.
I hope it's not him.
That looks like the guy that fixed your fridge.
He does a good job, though.
Oh, my God.
You know, my biggest pet peeve outside of robots taking over the world, which will never happen, is people interrupting races.
I don't mean people like me who race mix and make half-breeds.
I mean people who interrupt sporting events.
I don't really care about races.
I've never been into cycling or marathons, but I respect the people who work hard to make it happen.
And when I see someone wreck it, it infuriates me.
How about little boys in the suburbs?
They go to practice during the week.
They watch basketball.
They're really, my son is one of these kids, a 12-year-old.
They have their little shoes that they get for Christmas and they put them in the closet and they wash the bottoms.
Like those are their basketball shoes.
They don't wear them out.
They love them.
They're named after some fucking black guy.
And then they have a game.
And it's really important to them that they work together.
Games are really important to these guys.
They look forward to it all week.
It's like, oh, it's at 4 o'clock.
Okay.
Start thinking about getting ready, buddy.
It's 3 o'clock.
We got to go soon.
Then they finally go there.
They have their big game.
They're hoping to get some baskets.
Their family is there cheering them on.
It's a really big deal.
And the games last about an hour.
You cannot do your fucking dumb custodonial work.
Custodonian?
Custodonial?
Work while this is going on, please?
Can you not?
And look.
Custodial, yeah.
Look at this shit.
Go, go.
You got it.
Make sure you're open.
Oh, he got a pass, too.
So he stays on the outside.
No one's blocking him.
He's got a clear shot.
He's ready to go.
This is going to be the event of the whole game.
This is it.
And Fuckface is in the middle of the fucking court.
Oh, there we go.
He's not even pushing the bench well.
He's got one hand.
Oh, sorry about that.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry, guys.
I fucking hate him so much.
I want to stab him in his giant forehead.
Not the kind of thing God wants to hear.
You know what we should do, Sean?
I want to start making compilations And releasing them.
So I don't know.
We can use show notes, but I want to put together a compilation of all the people interrupting races and start doing other compilations.
Like, I want to do another compilation of liberals talking about how uneducated we are for voting for Trump and how they're smart and liberals are smart.
I have like 20 of those and shit like that.
Okay, so shall we start the show?
It's what, 25 minutes in.
Sorry, shit.
Actually, no, before we start the show, let's say hello to our other sponsor, Nita Fashions.
I'm wearing Nita Fashions right now.
This is the suit.
I don't know if you can see this.
I insisted on white buttons.
They said no, but the accents are pink.
So then I wear my pink Nita Fashions dress shirt with it, with my little I got kind of fatter.
So I used to be GMM on my shirts, and now I'm GM.
And that's the plumper gav.
So if I see a GMM in my closet, I'm like, I probably can't fit into that anymore.
Maybe if I lose weight, I'll keep them around.
But you can use your initials as some sort of code for, you know, guys my age, we expand and contract over the years, more expand than contract.
Nita Fashions is really pushing their Australian tour.
Now, this is a bespoke tailor based in Hong Kong, and it's for poor, rich guys.
You go there, they outfit you, they measure you and everything.
So where are we now?
January 31st.
Oh, good.
You got plenty of time.
They're still in Geneva, Switzerland.
But by the end of this month, they're going to be in Melbourne for three days at the Intercontinental Melbourne, the Rialto.
Then they're going to be in Sydney for two days at the Kimpton Margot in Sydney.
And then they are going to be in Brisbane in the Saufatel Brisbane Central 26th of February to 27th.
So you Aussies get in there, get outfitted, and then they have your blueprint.
You go, get me a shirt, make me a suit.
They can even, once they have your blueprint, you can say like, send me some swatches.
I have some ideas for shirts.
Or you can not think and just say, send me some fucking nice shirts like this one.
And they're all numbered and stuff.
So they have the code labeled on it.
They also, by the way, are still offering 15% off to people in LA who lost everything and have to rebuild their wardrobe.
That was a courtesy that they did over at Nita Fashions to help people.
You can contact them via their website.
Most of you guys seem to like to contact them on their Instagram, which is probably Nita.fashions, their Instagram?
You DM them there.
You can do virtual fittings, by the way, online.
I don't know if I mentioned that.
And that's a lot of fun.
Yeah, so you can DM them there.
And you can see, scroll down a bit so we can see the kind of shit they make.
Yeah, they got their schedules.
Those are the guys.
They also do suits for horses.
Those are very expensive, though.
And they never fit right.
Nineteen fashion, they made everything that you're seeing.
They do fencing, they do castles, and lawnworks.
Lawn care.
And they make women.
They will find you a bride, a robot bride.
Okay, let's start the show with the God Wheel.
I hope God's not mad that we took so long to get to it, but we got an hour.
An hour with God.
The God Wheel.
All right, let's see what he wants to talk about today.
Fingers crossed that he's happy and in a good mood.
I know he likes Trump.
It's obvious.
So fingers crossed, he doesn't want to get all heavy.
But we have war on kids, we have I was looking at this thing and LGBTQ and feminism, they look the same now.
I may have to merge them.
It's also kind of weird how War on Kids and LGBTQ is merged.
I mean, we do have pedophiles outside of the Drag Queen Story Hour, but it's a hell of a Venn diagram.
Anyway, let's go.
Let's ask God what he wants to talk about.
Are you ready?
And I think you played the guitars a little early there, Sean.
Now that would be a little late.
Okay, final video.
Let's not do a new rule.
New rule.
Let's not do the interstitial and just do one per story.
We're going to try that out today.
And that's fun because if God keeps coming back to something, it's like, dude, I really want to talk about this.
Is anyone else out there giving God a voice?
Not really.
Is that creed?
Holy fuck, he's nuts.
Okay, so this is the first thing God wanted to talk about.
And it is exactly like the opening.
I think this is God's way of saying, I like what you're doing.
This is a good show.
Good app so far is what God is shouting out.
This is exactly what we just showed.
This is the knife guy.
Uh-oh.
Is it always on his head or on the fridge?
Is this effective?
It's everywhere now.
It's everywhere now.
Is he dangerous?
The only time I want robots is to test how good he is at stabbing people.
I like how the audio is so bad.
It sounds like we're hearing it through his headphones.
Fun fact, this guy is the icon for final video.
If you get rid of that for a sec, that's him there with some sort of wood thing he made where he blocks punches and practices, and he stabs it.
That'd be really funny if that guy got mugged and stabbed to death.
Okay, so God's in a good mood so far.
This is all a good sign.
Let's see what else he wants to cover.
You missed it.
No, you just spun it early.
Oh, okay.
So I'm not wrong.
You're...
I'm wrong.
To replace me in all manners of ways.
So, Sean, please say into the mic, no, you just spun it early.
No, you just spun it early.
Okay.
This is someone sent in this hottie.
We don't have an interstitial for hotties anyway.
Please help us make that or the background.
We got to get on that.
Hotties.
Hotties and robots.
Right?
Is that the only ones we need?
I think so.
All right, so this chick.
This chick does look great.
I'm not blind.
But I'm not Benenes about the shoes.
And I know you guys think I'm a fag for caring about shoes, but we may have to pause it.
Perfect level of chunky thighs.
Zoom in on her quite a bit.
Let's blow that shit up, Jamie.
I love the fur thing.
What is that?
Is that just like a shawl that she wears?
That's a tail?
The beret is delicious.
So she's definitely right down to the shoes.
This is a 10.
Obviously, we can have some trouble with the face.
I fear nose piercings.
But the shoes look kind of open-toesy.
And the buckle on the left is, does that, that's, Keep zooming.
The buckle on the left is down a bit.
You know what I've noticed about Asians?
They don't know how to wear shoes.
I think it's because they keep taking off their shoes when they go in a house.
So they're not enthusiastic about putting them on correctly.
And you'll notice whenever you see Asian girls, there'll be like some loose buckle hanging off.
So her thighs are a little plump to be a rice ball.
But wow, that is some delicious stuff.
10 from behind.
Photographer, next time, please get the front.
All right, ready?
One second.
Yep.
*Tip*
Proud boys.
Okay.
Sorry, I'm sick.
There's going to be a lot of guttural throat sounds.
I thought I overheard Trump saying, we're here in America with Proud Boys and a new future for this country.
And I was like, what the fuck?
I knew he regretted not.
I knew.
No, don't do that first one.
I knew he regretted disavowing the club in the last election, but he was saying Proud Voice.
I fucked up.
This is funny.
Proud Boy.
So there's this weird trans kid.
Poor kid.
I feel bad for these fucking freaks.
And it's a healthy young lady who has had her tits ripped off of her body by child abuse obsessed, woke pagans who are happy to sacrifice this poor kid to the gods.
And it sings about masculinity and how toxic it is.
And it has a career, you know, in a very small scale way, but I should say a hobby.
Singing about being an awesome trans.
Like, this is what punk is today.
It's pretty depressing.
Go ahead, Joy.
My name's Joy.
Wait, what's this?
Lately, I've been dreaming of a house out in the woods with a big oh, yeah, I got it wrong.
Wrong intro.
I think gave Nashville a chance farther than they thought I would.
But it doesn't mean I should hang round and suffer.
This world on fire still has good to discover.
Beautiful.
I wouldn't miss the traffic car, the runaway trains.
And the power boys and their women just make me feel at face.
Oh, but I'd miss the birds and the music.
Cowboys and their women.
Cowboys has become an adjective.
It just means good old boys.
Like rednecks or something.
You feel weird because you're a lesbian.
Yeah.
What is weird?
Weird is not the norm.
The norm is heterosexuals.
In America, the norm, I guess, is predominantly white, right?
It's probably 65% white.
Not a lot.
And in cities, it's not the norm.
So there's something about fucking lesbians in this narcissism.
They're so obsessed with themselves and how we see them.
I got some bad news for you, chunky lesbian.
I don't see you.
You want to play a folk song?
Go have a concert?
Go Benenes.
Okay, fast-paced show.
Back to the Godwheel.
Some of these will have tangents we can go off on, but so far God's been giving us little appetizers.
I think he secretly wishes that he could be a podcaster or whatever we are.
Vidcasters.
All right, ready?
Yep.
Oh, the guy was not right.
T-Dog is back.
Fantastic guy.
Trump, okay.
Trumpety Trump.
Wow, he's way down there.
Here we go.
Here's a fantastic sketch of Trump as Red Fox.
And it fits really well, actually.
God, I missed this era of television.
It was fucking incredible quality.
And they were allowed to say the N-word.
Okay.
Take it away.
You can't take my gay and retarded, but you can take my N-word.
That's it, though.
I'm drawing the line after that.
It's the only word you can have.
Okay, Sean.
Wait, stop.
Now, Ryan, you told me this has to be done in, like, posts or something.
How are the lips moving?
But what does post mean?
It's obviously not live.
Well, I do mine live.
But you were like, why do yours look not as good?
No, that's not what I'm saying at all.
How are they making the lips move with the words?
You told me that was impossible.
I didn't tell you that was impossible.
I think you were asking for like, why does the face, I think there's two separate things.
No, that's not what I was talking about.
And then the lips moving on things, that might have been a newer thing.
But at the time...
And you just had to suspend your disbelief.
But now the lips move perfectly.
Yeah.
We'll talk about that some other time.
Now I'm talking about it now.
I said we'll talk about that some other time.
You don't tell me what I talk about.
You don't tell me what I talk about in my own house.
Don't you point your finger at my nose.
I'm going to point my finger at your nose and I'm going to point my foot somewhere else.
You ain't joking with me.
You see the same.
Nothing has changed.
The same crude manners.
The same fighting fists.
And you still got the same bad temper, the same big fat mouth.
You battle that.
So good.
Red Fox, funniest guy.
His fucking stand-up comedy is so raunchy.
Like his album, You Got to Wash Your Ass.
Or my favorite Red Fox ever where he goes, you want a pussy so bad your whole life.
You're craving a pussy.
When you're young, I can't wait till I'm old enough to get a pussy.
Then you finally get one.
And then everyone is screaming, laughing.
And he goes, it looks like Sammy with his eye out.
All right, ready?
And I'm really not spending a lot of time on each subject.
Sprinkles.
Okay, okay.
Sprinkles, of course, is there's funny people everywhere, but there is a select few who have the magic sprinkles.
And I just discovered some new guys today.
I never heard of these chaps before, but they are known as Chris and Jack.
And this is months old.
I'm embarrassed I haven't heard of these guys.
But when did they start?
It should tell you that, right?
They've been around for a while.
Well, actually, it looks like they've only been around for about a year.
What if we go videos oldest?
Nine years ago, shit.
I fucked up.
My job is to keep abreast of these things and inform you when someone is funny.
And these guys slip through the cracks, I'm embarrassed to say.
So I'm subscribed now.
And you know, one thing I love about these videos is the quality of the filming is so good.
It really helps the joke.
You know, bad audio, bad video, it just kills everything.
But these guys, look at the lighting in this opening scene.
This sketch is brought to you by Opera Desktop Browser.
More on them at the end.
Free ad.
Those post-it notes would have fallen off by now.
Thank you, Kripa.
You just write it on the bucket.
Genieland.
I have awoken.
I shall grant you three wishes, but be warned, for any wish may come with a double catch.
Yeah, I know, I know.
I'm very prepared for that.
Thought this through.
Okay, check this out.
Wish number one: I, Jeff Brooker of Sound Mind and Body, wish for the ability to run any potential subsequent wishes by you and have you tell me what the secret catch would be before I officially lock it in as my selected wish.
Hmm, a wish audit.
How about that?
Burns a wish, but make sure my next two.
Haven't really come across this before.
Very well.
Your wish is granted.
Wait a minute.
Right, let's do this!
Yeah, I could be incorrect on that theologically, but yeah, I believe that's true.
So aren't genies the devil?
Well, yeah, any.
Because they always punish you with your wishes.
I would think they're a demon, yeah.
If there's especially Indian in nature, like this is probably a demon.
If it's not God, and it's a supernatural force.
So God hates Indians?
No, Indians hate God.
It's the other way around.
But they love poop.
All right.
What would you say if I wished for the ability to fly?
Ah, loophole.
I'd grant you a commercial license to pilot small single-engine aircraft.
Oh, sneaky.
Okay, what if I wish for like the ability to fly of my own body in like a bird-like, self-propelled flight way?
Now you're a house fly, 24 hours will live.
Okay, what if I wish to fly?
And for you to know exactly what I mean when I wish to fly.
Catch.
Technically two wishes.
First wish, you're a house fly again.
Second wish, I would know what you would hope to have wished for.
These are tricky.
I'm gonna scrap the flight thing.
Let me just say, I did a whole brainstorm, so let me bang these out.
Yeah, okay.
What if I wish to win the lottery?
Congratulations, your number came up.
You've been drafted into the Vietnam War.
Okay, go back in time.
Could have been a small lottery action.
Could have gotten more specific.
Okay, what if I just wish for a million dollars?
What are you, a tween in a 90s movie?
A billion dollars.
Ah, but you didn't specify USD, so I'd give you a billion Jamaican dollars, which at the current exchange rate would be roughly 6.5 million USD.
Still pretty good.
Still pretty good.
You want that?
I'm gonna- Well, let me pin that.
I'm gonna pin that.
Put the rest of the table.
What if I wish to be able to leap over tall buildings?
You can do it, but only once.
Because of the landmaking.
What if I wish for world peace?
It comes about because of the intergalactic war.
What if I just wish to exist without want?
Very cool.
You're that chair now.
Yeah, the captain's chair.
It's a nice chair.
I'll pin the chair.
Okay, what if I wish to be able to see the future?
Look around.
Two billion years in the future, a bunch of dust.
What if it's simple and I just like, I wish to be taller?
All of your new height comes in the form of one of those Looney Tunes bumps on your head.
What if I wish to commune with the dead?
No catch to that one.
That's just a lot worse than you think it is.
Doing you a solid here, that really doesn't play out well.
What if I wish to be the greatest singer in the world?
Your current vocal talent doesn't change at all, but everyone in the world goes profoundly.
You're immediately the tobacco greatest singer in the world.
This is just appreciated.
Okay, I'm just gonna just attest.
Can we cheat?
Here's a real simple one.
What if I just wish for like a chocolate bar?
Great.
Now you have a fully functional pub made entirely of chocolate.
Okay, so let's jump to five minutes in.
Oh, see that?
You lost that.
Now we're gone.
Now it's gone forever.
Five minutes in.
I've noticed you have a pattern of leaving too soon.
Okay.
No.
Doll hairs.
Wait, go back.
We want to see what that one was.
I'd have any meaningful inflationary effect.
And we continue to live in a society where capitalism exists.
So I get to benefit from a system of currency being exchanged for goods and services.
And I did not say doll hairs.
What about all of that?
It's pretty clean.
Ah, but there's that.
No, no, no.
You said you did the doll hairs thing.
Turn it up.
Okay.
Yeah.
Wait, okay.
No, this is.
I think you did it, Jeff.
Yeah, I think you did it.
That's perfect.
Do it.
Okay, I wish for that.
Oh, my guy.
You see what you did, right?
Yeah.
Okay.
Wish granted you are now the proud owner of the notebook you already owned.
I'm realizing after the fact, there wasn't like a time limit.
No, you really rushed.
Cute stuff.
Maybe sprinkles is a strong word, but just good quality, pleasant comedy.
And very clean.
Did you notice that?
No F-words.
Maybe it's living in New York.
I think we're used to F-words.
I've noticed the viewers are criticizing me for shitting on you all the time, Sean.
But that's just how we talk here.
I think maybe in the Midwest, the sort of German background people with Protestant roots, they're not really as mean as we are.
I had a burrito yesterday, and Chipotle's burritos are now 20 bucks.
It's a football.
You eat it, and then you're like burping and trying to digest it.
You feel like a fucking Python who just ate a deer.
And so you're incapacitated.
You're not really hungry again.
Say you have one at 2.
You might be hungry at 8 p.m.
And then like people have moved on.
There's no more dinner around.
So you eat chips or something.
It sucks.
And then you wake up, you go to the gym with your Purple Works nutrition, and you're starving by noon.
I guess that's normal.
Then you eat a lunch.
A lunch should be the size of a fist at the most.
And then a dinner, maybe two fists and no breakfast.
That's my new rule, but it's fucking hard to manipulate.
So I was burping like crazy on the compound censored show on Wednesday.
I apologize for that, but fuck man.
A beer and a burrito?
It's a burp fest.
I also wanted to convey some important news.
I've had some bizarre nightmares this week.
I don't know what is going on.
Anthony and I are planning to do a comedy show at the Boca Box in March.
And I had a nightmare that he went on before me and absolutely slayed.
And so I started doing some jokes, some jokes I've been working on, actually.
And they were bombing.
And it was run by a student coalition.
And they cut my mic 10 minutes in.
And I go, what the fuck are you doing?
And they go, you're bombing.
It's not working.
Are you drunk or something?
I go, no, I'm not drunk.
Have you ever heard of a build?
I'd never heard of that term, but I said it in my nightmare.
And then I just proceeded to beat the shit out of everyone involved in promoting the show, pounding their faces in.
One guy who was promoting the show stole my Samsonite briefcase that I have for my falling down character, and he ripped out the center of it and broke it.
So I got dirt and I rubbed it in his eyes.
And then I was rubbing dirt all over the inside of his mouth.
Yeah.
Well, I think the deal is to be happy, you have to win in your dreams.
So if someone fucks you over, you need to get revenge.
That's what depression is, not punishing those who hurt you.
And then I had a nightmare last night about my wife having an affair.
I can't remember what I did to him, but it was horrible.
I got to write these down.
The burrito one.
I mean, sorry.
The comedy one really stuck, though.
I had a dream of my wife having a fair.
And there was that.
So on that note, thank you for tuning in.
We're going to continue behind the paywall, having fun.
But this was a taste of the Friday show.
We usually spend a little more time per topic.
We highly recommend you check out censored.tv.
It is 20% off, I believe, with the promo code Gavin.
And we now have Anthony Cumia every day, Gavin McInnes, literally every day.
When I say every day with Ann, I mean Monday to Thursday.
But I am every fucking day, seven days a week, an hour and a half at least.
Thursday nights, it's the Cops and Robbers Show, where we bring in a bunch of cops and watch cop videos.
Wednesday is Ant and I United Together, the new ONA.
Monday is casual Mondays where we just, it's very similar to this, actually.
We just shoot the shit.
Tuesdays, we get serious.
We talk about plane crashes and incompetence and taxes and Trump.
And Tuesday, you got to put on your big boy pants.
But yeah, the rest of the week, it's just a big party, and it's a wee bit of sanity in a world gone mad.
Usually we spend the time worrying about the future of this country.
Since Trump, it's been more of a gigantic celebration.
But I'm hedging my bets.
As I said to Alex Jones on Infowars, which is free on the site, I am cautiously arrogant, reluctantly gloating this current state of affairs because we saw what happened in Brazil.
They had their Trump, Bolsonaro, and now it's a socialist shithole run by Da Silva, who stole the election.
So don't get too comfy, guys.
We saw this in 2017.
It's six months of joy.
And then the shit started hitting the fan.
Trump derangement syndrome kicked in during Trump's term.
And that's when lawfare took off.
Anyway, goodbye.
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