S6E76 - THE HARDEST PART OF THIS WHOLE TRANS THING IS KEEPING A STRAIGHT FACE
Conservative rap is corny, Gavin never lies, Proud Boys can't use their own name, Info Wars has been under FBI surveillance since 2013, illegals are retarded, women shouldn't drive helicopters, the DNC elections were a comedy sketch, and Purpleworks Nutrition made us go check out the subway.
I couldn't bear it any longer than whatever that was.
20 seconds.
Jacob Oaks is his name.
And I think he calls himself Vive.
So this was sent to us.
It's a local Utah County rapper.
He is a U.S. Constitution expert.
So he's one of us.
And he regularly hosts Constitution-type events.
Look up the email, local rap legend and constitutional scholar.
But not only is he a constitutional scholar, he's also a rapper, yo.
It's something about Gen X and millennials.
Like, we always got to rap.
I can't tell you how many boxers at my gym are also rappers.
And not just the black guys.
Black guys is obvious, but the white guys.
So that dude in the middle there, he's a rap guy.
I mean, those Proud Boy guys, like the Florida dude, Richie Rich tattooed on his face.
I don't know why that seems much better.
Or Mike McDonald.
I mean, I hate rap.
I'm like Kanye.
I hate rap.
But that seems not as bad.
It's sort of like when it's Gen X-y rap.
And they have that singing?
Fuck me.
Yeah, Revive is his rap name.
Go back to that video and we'll scroll and let's check out a constitutional scholar, conservative, cool guy who's one of us, introducing us to conscious right-wing rap.
It's all about your brain.
What's going on with his eyes?
They look like raisins.
Go back.
I want to see him start his shit.
Well, let's see the very, very beginning when they're all friends.
That's fun.
Eating Angry Birds pizza.
Okay, now scroll ahead.
I hear he...
The rumor is...
No, no, that's all...
The black dude is like...
What do you do with these songs is you have the black dudes in the first and third.
You get credibility.
Go, go, go.
That's the credibility.
Credibility, credibility.
Keep going, keep going.
There we go.
You need plastic bugs?
Hello?
Hello?
Are you all zombies?
Look at our dance floor now.
Hit it, rapper.
Crosshead.
Why are you doing that?
So terrible. - But I got the knife fishing.
And when I say enough, I mean with the entire genre.
Although, my best friend Roseanne Barr texted me yesterday, and she's got a number one hit on her hands.
She was in Forbes.
It said, Roseanne Barr charts her first number one on the Billboard charts.
I'll text that to you.
Who do I text it to, Ryan or Sean?
Me.
And it's so snarky.
Hugh McIntyre wrote this.
Roseanne Barr's career has taken some odd turns in the past several years from having her blah blah blah blah.
The community has tried her hand at many things and her work has been met with mixed results.
The controversial figure can add a new line item to her resume and she's now a billboard charting musician.
Okay.
But, ah, shoot.
But, um...
But I thought this was interesting.
From having her comeback TV series cancelled to aligning with more right-wing audiences in an attempt to resuscitate her popularity.
Yeah, it can't be that those are her sincere beliefs.
It must be a grift.
Yeah.
Anthony and I are still sick from the same disease.
I'm never making out with Anthony Cumia ever again, by the way.
Not worth it.
He's a good kisser.
It feels amazing.
The first hour is probably the best of the four.
But it's not worth this fucking crippling cough.
My son's got it now, too.
Yeah, they just can't handle that anyone would not agree with their retardation.
And we're going to go through their retardation today, from the DNC elections to the trans shit.
We're going to go to the New York subway today live.
New experiment.
Which is why I made this episode free because it's a very exciting episode.
And who is this brought to you by?
Nita Fashions.
That's what I'm wearing.
That's my shirt.
My tie is...
This is the McInnes Tartan.
I wore this to my wedding 20 fucking years ago.
And Nita Fashions is how we get high on our own supply.
Last time I did this promo, last week, I said it's for cheap rich people.
No, for poor rich people.
I meant cheap rich people.
So I even fucked up the correction.
But they're on tour right now.
They're very happy with us.
They did very well in Australia.
There are a lot of baby monsters in Australia down under.
So what are we now?
We're February 4th?
Oh, it must be bookings.
They haven't even started.
In Melbourne, Brisbane, and Sydney yet.
So just bookings, they're doing incredibly well.
So if you're in Australia, please book an appointment with them.
You won't regret it.
If you're not in Australia, you can contact them on their Instagram, and you can do virtual fittings there.
Go to Amazon, get one of those floppy measuring sticks that tailors use, and then get a chick to do it with you.
This was Ryan's idea.
Great first date, he said.
And the ladies love it.
Great way to meet abroad.
And then they have your blueprint forever.
I'll never forget what they fucking went through during COVID, man.
It was insane.
Hong Kong is, of course, sort of China.
And that's where they're situated.
And they would come back and have to stay in one room for three weeks.
Your brother and your dad in one room for three weeks, dude.
I'm not exaggerating.
Food would be presented at the door, and you just have to sit there going insane.
They could do virtual fitting, so they could do some work.
I guess you do push-ups and sit-ups and, like, jumping jacks?
I mean, Tommy Robinson obviously goes through much worse, but he took on the big state.
So that's a terrible music intro we're going to use for today's show.
I was going to use this Jim Crow, crawl back into your hole.
I think we need to make fun of people who do terrible music more.
Hopefully that will lead to less terrible music.
So this woman, none of us are ever going to meet her, but could someone in her circle please tell her that what she's doing is not just embarrassing, but it's bad for their brand.
I'm at the point now, I was saying this to Alex Jones last week on InfoWars, I want them to be better.
This is not a worthy adversary.
This is like Mexico.
I want to focus on our fight with China.
Our fight with Mexico?
Easy peasy.
Listen to this jam.
Jim Crow, crawl back into your hole.
Cause I'm gonna bury you with love.
Jim Crow is in his home.
Jim Crow, crawl back into your hole.
If you're so against Jim Crow, why do you live in the whitest neighborhood in your city?
Why are you in Larchmont?
Why are you in Scarsdale?
Why are you in Connecticut?
You fucking phone.
Go to Mount Vernon.
There's no Jim Crow in Mount Vernon.
The audio doesn't add up.
Playing on the wrong computer.
I mean, can you hear me in song?
Also, in very important news, I told you I was in Detroit this weekend, and we were talking about how gullible we were when we were kids, and I had a Rod Stewart poster on my wall.
I was, I don't know, a nine-year-old?
Because I was into soccer, and he was holding a soccer ball.
Rod Stewart's sort of Scottish, same way I am, I guess.
He was born in England, but his dad was successful.
He's a footballer and a coach.
And Rod Stewart was destined for professional football in the British sense, but he became too good of a singer.
So there's a lot of pictures of him wearing tart and stuff and holding a soccer ball.
He sort of fetishized Scotland, I guess the way I do.
And my buddy Dale comes over and he's like, you know that he sucked off 12 sheep and his stomach was about to pop from cum, so they had to pump his stomach.
I'm sure you've heard this before, right?
And I remember just being a little kid going, all right, well, time's coming down.
Roll, roll.
Just remove that and put that in storage because that's true.
And then there was another story when we were at the Earl of March High School in Kanata, Ontario, where this girl, Cindy, she was on a date, and we're like 12, 13, so dates where, you know, maybe you go to a movie.
And he gave her a Spanish fly.
And she got so horny, she started fucking the gear shift.
And we weren't even, let's say we were 14. I'll go up to 14. We weren't even grossed out.
We were just like, well, she must have been very, very horny.
I guess ladies get that way with these Spanish flies.
And they've got to put out the fire.
It's like having an itchy ass.
You just got to put it out.
And if there's nothing around, you can grab a pen.
I don't know, you finger yourself.
So we were just learning about sex.
We're like, all right, that's what sex is.
And it took me years to go, yeah, I really, like, the amount of slut you'd have to be, you'd have to be a porn star stripper en masse who's been awake for four days, and you'd have to be 38 years old.
So I was discussing that with a Texan friend in Detroit.
And he goes, yeah, I'll bet you 100 bucks.
That's bullshit.
And I go, I'm not lying.
I don't lie.
It's just...
And people accuse me of lying in the comments.
Have I ever lied?
Do I come across as the Fonz on this show?
There's a lot of very embarrassing stories where I don't come out cool.
Listen to me today coughing and wheezing like a faggot.
They cough because they have AIDS. And so he texts me the next day and he goes, just a reminder we made a $100 bet about that Gearshift thing.
And so I texted him like a day later because a good, honest, conservative Westerner, we don't like being in debt.
It's very important to us to have a clean slate.
So I texted him and I go, okay, I'm going to find her, I guess, through Facebook?
I don't know.
We're at the age now, 54, where you can look up girls again because they're back to their original name.
For a while there, for a good 20 years, I couldn't find anyone that I knew from high school because she had a new name.
Now, they're divorced and they're back to their old names.
You can look up her full name.
I think it was Cindy Wood.
And 15 years ago, I believe it was, I contacted her.
And I go, there was a fucking crazy rumor about you that's obviously retarded.
I know it's not true.
I never considered it to be true as an adult.
But as a kid, I was like, yep.
And she goes, yeah, that was some guy.
I went on a date with him.
I didn't put out.
So he threatened to make that a story if I didn't put out.
And I said, go ahead, shithead.
And he did, and my brothers beat the shit out of him.
And so I go to the text, and I go, I'm going to find her, and she's going to confirm it, but it's going to take me, like, the better part of a day to track her down.
And then I've got to convince her to send you a notice saying it's true.
But to be clear, she didn't fuck a gear shift.
It was a rumor we believed, and the purpose of the story is to show you how unbelievably naive you are when you're 14 years old.
And he goes, oh, well then I'm out.
I'm out.
And now I'm kind of annoyed.
Like, you think I would sit there and tell you that some chick did a Spanish fly?
Now I'm the guy doing the insane lie rumor thing.
Of course it's not true, fuckface.
Anyway, I had to get that off my chest.
Major Proud Boys development by Alan Freuer, he wants to announce.
Guy has spent zero time on Antifa or BLM, but his entire career is dedicated to analyzing the Proud Boys.
Alan Freuer is his name, Jewish guy.
This is our typical critic.
Childless.
Fucked up his marriage.
He was married to a wonderful woman.
She wanted to work.
She didn't want to stay at home.
They didn't have kids.
She got so old that it was too late.
She focused on her career.
Their marriage fell apart because no kids.
And she obviously, when a woman is working that much too, there's going to be temptation for infidelity and she's going to see other men in positions of power and the whole power structure collapses.
Then he starts fucking like some 22-year-old intern and destroys his life.
And now he's got his cats and his shitty life.
So what do those kind of guys do?
They focus on proud family men and they want to take them down.
Just sabotage them.
I think I said this yesterday, you'll notice your critics tend to be childless and alone when you're a family man.
There's not a lot of happily married guys with three kids who are out to tear you down.
So it's all revenge.
That's the impetus here.
But yes, many moons ago, Proud Boys did something so remarkably stupid, I have trouble digesting it even today.
Go back up to the picture.
So they took a BLM flag off of some old black church.
Okay.
Now their point is that Black Lives Matter is a bullshit movement.
It shouldn't be on a church.
BLM and Antifa did much worse to the churches in that same area, right?
Remember that?
What was it?
Like a 500-year-old church in front of the White House that they burnt down?
No punishments there at all.
St. John's?
Yeah.
So that didn't happen.
And Alan Freuer has, of course, done zero articles about that.
But when Proud Boys do it, it's exciting.
And zoom in on this.
You know, not all jokes aside, but all defense aside, and there's plenty of ways to defend this and show that it's not a big deal, it's just very dumb, and you don't punish the left for the same thing, but keeping that in mind, what are you doing, guys?
You know how fucked Proud Boys are because of this one dumb gesture?
You can see Enrique up there, and by the way, I thought Enrique took full responsibility for it.
I know a lot of Proud Boys, and I don't know why, there's no registration.
It's not like Hell's Angels where you're on a list.
I know a lot of Proud Boys who, if they make $10, it goes to this black church.
Forever.
So it's like declaring bankruptcy.
They are forever indebted to this church.
And so this new...
So they won $2.8 million.
It's kind of like...
It's an unfortunate analogy, but it's kind of like the KKK where the SPLC... Sued them for $50 million.
They didn't have any money.
So they got $60,000, which they gave to the family in the form of a warehouse.
That was all the KKK owned.
So Proud Boys don't have any money.
And this $2.8 million will never get filled.
But from now on, you can't sell Proud Boys merch.
Any money you make from the merch has to go to them.
Did we show the subhead there?
It's not like...
A judge awarded the trademark name and symbol of the Washington church to help satisfy a $2.8 million judgment.
Look up the judge, by the way.
It's just anti-whiteism.
Yes, it was a dumb thing to do.
You should be punished to the tune of, I don't know, a $200 fine.
Don't do that again.
That was mean.
You're a jerk.
But no, $2.8 million that stretches out like an octopus to all of these random prowl boys who weren't even there.
And now they've got to pay off some fake debt.
It's just hatred.
Revenge.
It's the same way Joe Biggs was tortured in prison because the COs assumed that he was the head of some white nationalist group, so he wanted to punish him because he was so happy to finally meet a Klansman.
In a way, the entire right is going through this.
Is that her in the top left?
That's the judge, yeah.
Yeah, she looks kind of like a cartoon.
Like, can you imagine her being fair?
The number of black female judges in this country is just downright weird.
Especially when it comes to Proud Boys trials.
Like Max and John for their appeal.
There was four judges there.
We saw it.
We showed it virtually.
It's on the site, censored.tv.
You can look it up.
It's free, I believe.
Four judges.
One of them was some Asian dude.
He wanders away during the appeal process.
It's like an hour and a half.
He's just gone.
I don't know, he had to go feed his cat?
So now we're down to three, and they're all black females who, believe it or not, were not wildly sympathetic to Max and John's plight.
I apologize for this incessant coughing.
If you watch Anthony's show yesterday, you can hear him griping about it, too.
It's very uncomfortable.
But the great news about it is we did...
We sort of are human guinea pigs in that I haven't stopped partying, traveling, doing shows.
He's been sitting on the couch taking medicine.
Exact same time span of the illness.
So now you know that it doesn't matter what you do.
You can take Mucillix and cough drops and NyQuil, sleep 15 hours a night, or you can just keep living your life.
It's the same amount of sickness.
It's a week.
It will be a week this Thursday.
Another major development, our buddy Chase Geyser, kind of an unfortunate name, makes you think of a woman squirting.
This is the most important report I've ever done.
I just received documents from a Freedom of Information Act request submitted last year, proving the FBI has been spying on Infowars since 2013. Does history even go back that far?
2013, that's pre-Trump.
2013, pre-Proud Boys.
Was there even cars back then?
Breaking.
Recently released documents under the Trump administration proved the FBI was spying, disgustingly classifying Infowars as a white, racially motivated extremist organization.
We're up against fucking absolute raging losers, aren't we?
This is who we're up against.
Which brings me, I want to jump over, speaking of who we're up against, to the DNC elections.
Now, my ex-boyfriend Anthony, that I'm no longer kissing, covered it yesterday.
So we're going to breeze through this super fast.
And then I want to discuss the New York City subways.
But just so we know who we're up against, because you read something like that in the Times, you don't know Alan Foyer is out for revenge.
You still, I mean, I think the majority of Americans don't know that the New York Times is a joke.
They haven't read Bill McGowan's Grey Lady Down or his prequel to that, the book Coloring the News.
So they go, it's the paper of record.
It's all the news that's fit to print.
And when you read that they burned down, it looks like they burned down a church.
You go, that's bad, black church.
They must be racist.
But if you know anything about what's going on, you see that our adversaries are just silly.
They're silly.
And for some reason, they're totally focused on black females, which are 7% of the population.
Now, it's not the dumbest thing in the world because I think white women who are, well, white adjacent too, they're obsessed with black women.
Why?
I'm not positive.
But they worship them.
Barack Obama won because of the white girl vote.
So maybe there is some sanity to this, but I don't think so.
They're esoteric.
They're retarded.
I'm not talking about black women in general.
I'm talking about the ones that are running for the DNC. And they're bad for your brand.
Go to 3-3.
Brianna Wu, who's a silly trans man.
Well, it's a man who thinks he's a woman.
But he has a good take.
I'm incredibly disheartened by the Democratic Party leadership.
They just elected it.
It seems we are doubling down on identity politics when we need to become brawlers for the middle class.
We'll blame Kamala's loss on allegedly racist and sexist American public, but you can't admit being leaderless for four years with a senile man.
Devastating poll came out today showing the American people define our party with elitism and LGBT more than economics.
This is untenable.
I mean, that's just simple facts.
But, like, you've seen this already.
It's a million times.
We don't...
It's a million times.
You've seen this a million times.
Monday is casual Monday, so we don't get to serious stuff until Tuesday, so I'm sorry that this is so late.
But let's just, for the sake of the time capsule that is the show, let's just show what happened last week with the DNC elections.
I can't believe Anthony and I didn't livestream it.
That was a major mistake on our part.
We were both sick.
Look at this shit.
Go ahead.
Hello, Democrats.
Hey, I am speaking, and I would love your attention.
There is a black woman at this podium, and I deserve your attention like the 11 people who went before me.
Yes, I am speaking.
Look at this fraggle.
She looks like good luck.
She looks like she eats the algae off your tank.
Just grabbing a chair.
Ran for chair.
Te quiero mucho, Papa.
Gracias por todo.
My name is Artie Blanco.
Why do you gotta read that?
Vote for me for vice chair.
Look, she has to read her script.
You can't memorize that?
When we stand together.
We are in a time in this country when our democracy and our rights are under attack.
Not true.
We're at a time where black and brown people, women, and other minorities are being blamed for everything that's wrong with this country.
I am a woman.
I am black.
You're definitely behind the problem.
Whoa, what's going on with that forehead?
Good afternoon, DNC! Hey!
Let me say something.
Over the last several days, we've seen what happens when we have the wrong people in powerful places.
And so today, I ask for your support and electing me as your DNC vice chair because in a time of crisis, leadership matters.
My people are sick and tired of being sick and tired.
That's a new one.
We are sick and tired of being the last one hired and the first one hired.
Shut up!
We are sick and tired of the...
I've spent the last 15 years fighting for the American people, all 340 million of them.
...work to do to organize, show up, and win.
And that is why I'm asking the people who are still with me in this ride, because you know the work that I do to protect the vote.
I mean, this is SNL. SNL isn't even that good.
This is kids in the hall.
I have a theory.
What about this?
They know that they're toast for four years.
Because I notice a lot of right-wingers are like, we just won 2026. They know they're toast for, sorry, at least to the midterms.
Maybe they're just like throwing in the towel and letting the other kids play.
You know, in Little League Baseball, if it's 11-0, then you start letting the outfielders pitch.
They even do it in the MLB. And sometimes they do really well because they're throwing a fastball at an arc like this because they can't make it to the plate in a straight line.
So the batter is like, what the fuck?
It's coming from out of space.
And some outfielders do pretty good pitching.
So it's possible, not that these outfielders are going to do any good, it's possible they're just letting them play.
Like, you know, after a wedding when the drunk dads and uncles are there and they get on stage and they're like, They do Louie Louie or something to the six drunk people left.
That might be what this is.
Because it cannot be real.
You can't be really going for it.
Go to 3-5.
What is this?
Oh yeah, so this is a juxtaposition.
So that's their side.
Let's look at our side.
How do we operate?
Again, this is Ancient Chinese Secrets.
I'm going to make America healthier than other countries in the world right now.
Will you guarantee do what every other major country does?
It's a simple question.
And by the way, Bernie, you know, the problem of corruption is not just in the federal agencies.
It's in Congress, too.
Almost all the members of this panel are accepting, including yourself, are accepting millions of dollars from the pharmaceutical industry and protecting their interests.
I thought that that would come.
No.
I ran for president like you.
I got millions and millions of contributions.
They did not come from the executives, not one nickel of PAC money from the pharmaceutical industry.
They came from workers.
In 2020, you were the single largest pharmaceutical money.
From workers all over this country.
Workers, not a nickel from corporate tax.
You were the single largest except for pharmaceutical dollars.
No, from workers in the industry.
1.5 million.
Yeah, out of 200 million.
All right, but...
All right, that's enough for that.
You have not answered.
Last question.
What?
Do I want to see the beginning of that clip?
Okay.
I'm going to make America healthier than other countries in the world right now.
Will you guarantee do what every other major country does?
It's a simple question.
He plays him as well as Barack Obama.
Okay, so they elected David Hogg.
I've heard a lot of rumors about him not being at the Parkland shooting.
Apparently it's been debunked.
He was there.
He just left and came back and he was, you know, in the thick of it.
I don't know.
But really, do you think anyone identifies with David Hogg?
Maybe like three weird, ugly nerds.
I complain about my body.
Wait, go back.
Well, let's hear his ending.
No, the beginning of that clip. - You Democrats!
In the words of Beyonce, America has a problem, but Democrats, we're about to fix it.
God bless you.
Thank you so much.
Let's get to work.
Nice cannon.
Beyonce.
David Hogg.
First of all, thank you, Chairman Harrison.
Can we give a round of applause to Jamie?
I can't see him very well.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Who's ready to take the fight to the Republicans and win this thing?
Me.
Are you guys ready to fight?
Yes.
It's been a long day, but guess what?
We have a long road ahead.
Let's go and kick some ass.
Kiss some ass.
You Democrats!
Anyway, that goes on and on and on.
Okay, I'm sorry.
I know Anthony played all these, but I can't resist.
This is them trying to figure out all their own retarded rules.
Like, it's got to be half male, half female.
But if there's a trans person, what do we do now?
Okay, trans, then it's a zero.
So say I had four trans and two other people.
Those last two have to be one male, one female.
And then the trans don't count.
They're gray.
They're not black or white.
Okay?
Look at them.
They're so confused by their own mess.
Look at her face.
What are we doing now?
What are the rules that we made up for ourselves?
At least deaf people can understand.
It's even on gender right now.
It's evenly spent.
I'm so sorry.
Hi.
Brad Telly, former parliamentarian for the city of Utah.
I do have a question for the chair, if she would.
So that's assuming that so few candidates get zero that we can sustain six additional losses on top of that.
What happens if we have eight candidates who get zero on this round?
Do we have to eliminate those six, or would they be eligible again on a subsequent round?
This is...
Okay, this is what I've always said about politics.
Some women are good at it, Maggie Thatcher, whatever, but it is essentially a numbers game, and women tend not to be great at numbers, which is why I don't think women should be Apache helicopter pilots.
Go check the email, onebraincell31.
We're just very different, okay?
You're magic wizards.
You can create life.
Some of you do well in the guy world.
Some guys do.
I can see your screen there, shit for brains.
Some guys do well in the girl world, I guess?
I don't know.
It's hard to think of an example of that.
maybe like some fancy pastry chef or some shit but but generally we can make generalizations Generally, men are better at details.
This is why men make better directors.
They keep saying women should be directors, movie directors.
I've done movies.
When you watch a movie, you see her look at the guy on the horse, and then you see him look back, and then they gallop off, and then there's a fight.
They've done a storyboard.
There's a square that has her like that.
He has to do that, make sure the lighting is perfect, make sure it matches, and then he checks it off his to-do list.
It's basically a giant Excel spreadsheet of shots you've got to get.
At the same time, if the actors suck, you got to go, you're fired, or you got to do it again, or maybe you got to do it again 80 times because you can't fire this person.
With Back to the Future, they had that redheaded dude, Rocky Dennis, for like fucking two weeks, and then they fired him.
Women don't like doing that.
That's mean.
And women don't like Excel spreadsheets.
So they shouldn't be directors, and they shouldn't.
Drive Apache helicopters.
Show that.
Do you have the video?
This is a common meme you've seen a million times, but it perfectly summarizes the difference between men and women.
And by the way, one is not better than the other.
One second.
Something else is playing.
Okay.
We'll make that other thing playing go away.
Three to my right.
Two big dogs.
They're on the lead.
It's all good.
Can't hear it.
You just ruined it.
Two guys to my left.
It's all good.
Three to my right.
I can take them.
Two big dogs.
They're on the lead.
So good.
I'm just a girl.
I like what they use.
I'm just a girl in my world.
So we're different, okay?
Okay.
And in this DNC clip that I cut off, but I hope you still have it ready, he's getting down to the minutia of their new rules.
And I don't think any of these women have any fucking idea what he's talking about.
And I think because there's cameras on them, they're just going to bluff and go.
It's the second one you listed.
If we have eight and there's six of us, then six get to be the president.
Go ahead.
So what happens if we...
It's down to four.
Right.
But what happens if eight people get zero and then we eliminate four?
Look at a sign language chick.
So the question is...
I love it!
The motion was, as amended, was that...
We drop the four lowest performing candidates in the next round, two men, two women, as well as anyone who gets zero,
For a maximum, what we say, for a max, what we say, up to four gender balanced would get dropped along with zero for a maximum of six people being removed in the next round.
Does that make sense?
Yeah, that makes sense.
Because then we could still have a fulsome.
Un-fucking-believable.
Liberal logic.
This is liberal logic.
You wave the flag of the country you don't want to go back to while you burn the flag of the country you demand you get to stay in.
Or, 2-5, Idris Elba...
Has noticed that there's a lot of stabbings since they've brought in the turd world and they have Muslim refugees everywhere and that's their culture.
So the solution obviously is less knives.
This is 2-5.
We have to get rid of the knives in Britain.
Especially pointy ones.
Seem reasonable?
The knives used in most of the terrible...
Crimes.
That's one of the stats in the films.
And those kitchen knives are usually a domestic situation.
Okay.
So kitchen knives, of course, it's very difficult.
They're a domestic knife.
I do think there is areas of innovation that we can do with kitchen knives.
I hate to say it.
Not all kitchen knives need to have a point on them.
That sounds like a crazy thing to say, but actually it would reduce.
You're doing great.
You can still cut your food without the point on the knife, which is an innovative way to sort of look at it.
And in a country in crisis, I'm sorry, but yeah, let's look at that.
But the truth is, all knives, you know, the loophole on the heritage knives allows the sale of zombie ninja swords to be sold.
Yeah, that's the problem.
Ninja swords.
You've got your granddad's sword on there, and you want that.
That's enough out of you.
I hear unbelievably bad logic.
So Purple Works Nutrition is our second sponsor for today's free episode.
And they asked me to look into, I don't know why, the violence on the subways.
And they said, you always say that the left has no idea what they're doing.
But from what I can see, can you stop showing your fucking screen there, tarred brain?
He goes, from what I can see, it looks really bad on the subway.
And I said, I can't just be going down the subway.
And he goes, well, I'll sponsor it.
So this next segment is the New York City Subway Expose.
It's sponsored by Purple Works Nutrition.
I'm not on it today.
So if you notice, my performance is sluggish or uninteresting.
It's because I'm not on Purple Works Nutrition.
It's my pre-workout.
You'll notice that I get involved with all the sponsors.
Nita Fashions, I'm wearing it right now.
Oops.
Purple Works Nutrition, I take it every day I work out.
I haven't been able to work out.
In fact, the gym owner just texted me.
What's he got to say?
He's probably texting me a meme.
It has nothing to do with anything.
Nothing to do with the gym.
He sent me a Michael Malice tweet.
He doesn't know that we have beef, I guess.
When we conquer Canada and make them our slaves, at least we won't have to hear about how it was racist.
That's a funny joke.
But on days when I am working out, I take this stuff, Invictus.
It gets me going.
It sort of puts a panic in your step where you start getting the ants crawling on you and go, I better start working out now or these ants are not going to go away.
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They're also really focused so far on...
So far in 2025 on your New Year's resolution.
And they're saying, use us.
I'm sure they don't like this, but Purple Works Nutrition rapes you.
It rapes you into going to the gym.
And even if you're hungover, you go there.
And I've had times when I've been hungover.
I've taken Purple Works.
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I'm not saying you should get involved in this level of chemistry, but there's some cool little tricks you can do.
So use promo code GAVIN, 15% off, and it totally changes your workout.
And I don't know if you've seen me with my shirt off.
It might not be the sexiest thing you've ever seen, but if you could have seen me before I moved to New York, I made David Hogg look like Arnold Schwarzenegger.
So I'm very thankful.
To PurpleWorks Nutrition for getting me to at least a not hideous level of American body.
And being good at it, if you will.
So thank you, PurpleWorks, for this assignment.
We're willing to check it out.
I'm somewhat dubious.
I tend to think that the New York subways are just as bad as everyone thinks.
But we did look into it, thanks to you.
Cover the post.
If you go into the Google Docs, Sean, You'll see New York City subway.
And I want to talk about a few things, and then we're going to go there together.
I don't know if you can handle that level of production, but we're going to go on to the subway.
Let's see it.
But before we go, let's do some background.
So the cover of the post was concerned about this phenomenon.
Not too sharp.
This is from a while ago.
Fairbeaters ignore new jagged barriers and aren't...
They put up these jagged barriers and I don't think anyone tested them.
Rick and Morty could get through.
You just put your hand on them.
They're not sharp.
I guess they were scared of getting sued.
I was down there, though, and recently there are a ton more cops.
By the way, this is today's New York Post.
New Jersey governor claimed he had an illegal migrant in his home, and then they go, okay, we're coming to arrest him.
He goes, no, no, it was metaphorical.
And then we have Trump being tough on tariffs with Mexico and Canada, which is just a negotiation technique.
Don't panic.
Mexico and Canada.
He's not really going to give you 25%.
He's just getting you scared.
That's what he does.
So, I did notice there are cops everywhere.
So, they might be making a difference.
NYPD riding the subway, 9pm to 5am for the next six months.
Mayor Adams wants two cops on every single subway.
Wow.
That's impressive.
I think we have 30,000 NYPD. It's more than the Danish military, which, by the way, is assigned to protect Greenland.
So, we could just send our cops there.
What's with the floor?
It's like salt.
Yeah.
Looks terrible.
Okay, we got it, news.
So this is the kind of thing that they say is going on.
A homeless New York City man makes a chilling confession after shoving a woman onto a moving NYC train.
I did it because I wanted to.
A homeless man who literally shoved a woman in the path of a moving train said he wanted to do it.
Marquise Brazelis, 26, brazenly admitted to tossing a 23-year-old woman.
Let's see her race.
They never discuss race when it's black on mine.
Have you noticed that?
I pushed her onto the train because I was high and I was mad.
At least he's honest.
Prosecutors said the unhinged man should be held on $150,000 bail.
Like, dude, you could hold him on $1.50 bail.
He was busted on January 19th for entering the prohibited area of the Bergen Street subway station, only to be released and then arrested four days later.
Obviously, we need loony bins back in this city, folks.
Right?
And here's another thing, too.
We don't just need loony bins.
We need fucking giants monitoring that and doing security, not chicks.
You have chicks, like young girls, chubby women working at these shelters.
In New York City.
And they're fat and they get preyed upon.
They get beaten.
They get raped.
They should all look like linebackers.
That's who should be running the loony bins.
They should be out of town.
They should be upstate.
Maybe in Troy, New York.
Some shithole town like that.
Sorry, Troy.
So that's the typical chap on the subways.
Oh, here's a good one where Hochul is talking about...
She just gets blasted with stats.
Stat blast.
I say a lot of things with statistics, and I see the percentage that a crime is down 42% since 2021. But if you look back to pre-pandemic, and I know you like to say that overall crime is down 12% since the pandemic, but murders are up 200%.
Felony assault is up 55%, and burglary is up 140%.
So, are you saying that this is progress?
Are you talking about statewide, city, or subway?
Oh, no, no, crime in the transit system.
I'm sorry, Governor.
Yes, crime in the transit system.
Statewide?
Want to answer that?
I say a lot of things.
You ever take the subway to Ithaca?
I'm taking the subway to Canada.
It's 20 hours, but it's only $2.98.
Wait, go back to the beginning of that.
I talked over it.
I want to hear the whole, because he probably said Subway very clearly.
I say a lot of things with statistics, and I see the percentage that a crime is down 42% since 2021. But if you look back to pre-pandemic, and I know you like to say that overall crime is down 12% since the pandemic, but murders are up 200%, felony assault is up 55%, and burglary is up 140%.
Are you saying that this is progress?
He wasn't clear.
But yeah, the subway, it's looking pretty bad.
Here we have a 66-year-old female transit worker was standing on the platform at the Harlem 148th Street subway station at 1.15 p.m.
Friday when she was randomly punched in the face.
Police have released surveillance images of the assailant to aid their investigation.
Anyone with information, blah, blah, blah.
Call me a racist, but I'd love to see the race of the victim.
We never get that, of course, unless it's convenient to the narrative.
So this is what has been sent to me as an example of what goes on in the New York City subways.
I need to see the context.
I need to see this myself.
But this is what was sort of presented to us as a reason to go check out the New York City subways.
What do we got here?
Squeezing in one thing.
Fucking subway.
Hopping over a dude.
Let's take a couch on.
I saw a possum for a second.
Wait, that's...
I hate those dudes.
So this is all of New York, not just the subways.
Black dudes love dressing up as Spider-Man.
Yep.
What is that?
Remember they would do it in front of our office and they're waving to cars and people are beeping.
I go, get a fucking job.
Yeah.
And he goes, no.
Okay, touche.
All right.
So enough talk about going to check things out or...
How things are in New York City.
I'm going to actually go there right now and check out the subway and tell you if it is as bad as everyone says it is.
Can you handle that, Sean?
Yep.
Yep.
Okay.
Okay, here we go boys. - All right, we're at Grand Central.
So let's go see how bad these trains are.
She's living in a bag.
She's in a bag.
Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!
And I'm going to go.
All you can hit is pipe boy.
You're popped.
Yo, y'all niggas, this is a b*tch.
I'm sorry.
Shit.
Shit.
Why are you waiting for something to help me?
I'm trying to help you.
I'm just gonna pay.
Some people pay, some people don't.
Oh!
How did you get that?
I'm sure you're set it up.
I'm sure you're going to pay.
Oh, I got his hat.
Let me skip with the congestion pads.
You can't hear them very well.
Is that a minotaur or a centaur?
Sit.
Ow!
Put your hands up!
No, no, no!
It's coming!
It's coming!
No! No! Cry! Cry! Cry!
Like the beat, see oh!
Oh, footo!
Shut up!
Shut up!
Oh, shit.
Oh, oh, no.
Well, if y'all touch me, it's over.
It's over.
Shut up.
Shut up.
Look at you.
Look at you.
Shut up.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Merry Christmas!
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
- I'm so mad at you, sir. - You sold the last Indian.
- Modern day science.
- You sound dumb and give a kill your ass.
- Thank you, man.
- I'm a gangster.
I'm a mob, nigga.
I stick niggas in their face.
No gangster, nigga.
I'm real rap, nigga.
- I'm a gangster.
- I love this. - - - - - - - Is it like a big deal? - - - I don't know.
Seems fine to me.
It's diverse.
You know, New York City, the melting pot.
There's a lot going on here.
It's exciting.
It's interesting.
It's fun.
It's different.
And it's new.
I don't see what the big deal is.
You know, we're very balanced here, so we crap on the left a lot.
But we also show when the right exaggerates, or when the right fucks up.
The right fucked up with that stupid rap song, and the right fucked up by pretending that the New York City subways are terrible under Democrat rule.
If you're a real nut, though, and you still think it's a problem after seeing me investigate it, And realize that it's just fun and interesting.
There are some vigilantes going around with hammers.
A brute with nearly two dozen prior arrests bashed a teen with a hammer on board a Bronx train Monday, all because the victim wouldn't give up his seat for a woman, cops said.
The 19-year-old victim told police he was riding northbound on the D train when Tommy Sprove Started tapping on his phone, asking him to get up so a woman could sit.
The teen ignored the pestering until Sprove suddenly hit him once in the face with a hammer, causing a cut and swelling on his left eye.
Ice!
Ice!
As the victim got off the train, officers were on board the train, but in a different car, spotted him bleeding from the forehead.
The teen pointed out the alleged attacker was carrying a hammer.
Sprove!
Well, give up your seat on the train and that will not be an issue.
One thing that confused me, Sean, there when you were shooting all that footage that we did live on the trains is why was there writing sometimes on the footage?
Including ABC TV. That's just graffiti that you have all over the place.
No.
No?
No.
Oh, I guess I'm wrong again.
All right, should we do...
There's so much stuff I want to get to, and we are pretty pressed for time.
Let's jump into some quick immigration and some quick trans.
I think the interstitials might be longer than the actual segment, but whatever.
We got to talk about this American flag shit.
All these fucking people in this country, if you don't like this country, fuck off.
You know what I realized last night, gentlemen?
Ryan's last week ever in the world is February 20th.
I'm gone that week skiing.
So we'll have to do some pre-records.
I want to do a show all about Sean.
And what makes him tick.
And then we'll have to do some sort of competition to do a Sean's mailbag or a mailbag for a song and then a final video song.
And then I want to do a Ryan episode where we go over the ups and downs over the years.
So we'll bank those.
But, yeah.
We're talking about a kid-friendly episode, too, while Ryan's still here.
Okay.
Could do that.
Could do that.
And then Valentine's Day, we always take off.
Just kidding.
That's super gay.
So that's something to keep in mind.
So sort of our last week with Ryan is 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. Wait a minute.
No.
Next week.
Yeah.
Holy crap.
Ryan, next week is your last week ever.
I think so.
After 10 years.
Yes.
Wait, you already made that decision?
No, but...
If the baby comes earlier, it's been kind of scary.
She didn't go to church this past Sunday because if she moves too much...
Wait, why would an unborn baby go to church?
Well, it's what we believe.
Okay.
No, but if the getting down, the getting up, kneeling, all that stuff is like a lot of action, it causes her contractions.
And we don't have a sitter until like...
Mid this week.
So she's trying to hold in the baby a little bit.
So it could be earlier.
Could be earlier.
Oh shit, we should be banking shows the new.
Although Sean's brave enough to think he can do this.
Could you do a show 100% by yourself with Ryan dead?
Yeah, I think I could.
We're alive and not here.
And then what about wrapping it all up and getting it posted and all that too?
Yeah, I can.
There's some help, the tech guy and stuff.
I saw you got a lot of flack for our Sunday TJMS, which was 14 seconds long, but that was not you.
That was not me.
All right, so here's the dishwasher logic I was talking about earlier, 1-8, where they burn the flag of the place they want to stay in and wave the flag of the place they want to go to.
Shouldn't you just round up all these people?
Can you imagine if we were illegally in Tokyo?
And we kept bitching about the lack of English in Japan and then had massive demonstrations waving American flags and burning the Japanese flag.
Can you fucking imagine that?
People would think it was like some sort of weird art show.
Actually, you know what?
We should do that.
Wouldn't that be cool?
It'd be very expensive.
I wish Soros was funny.
We could, uh, it would probably cost like a million bucks, but you could get, you know, 200 people in Tokyo waving American flags, burning the Japanese flag, and talking about how we need more English in Japanese parliament.
Now that's a good gig.
Fuck America that I'm not leaving.
Viva Mexico that I'm not going to.
I thought this was interesting, 1-9.
We often talk about this one page in Pat Buchanan's Death of the West where he talks about how the West didn't invent slavery, the West alone abolished slavery, and slavery has returned to Africa to the deafening silence of the left in places such as...
Mansu Musa and Mauritania.
So there is slavery in Mauritania today.
And I looked it up.
I think you can get a slave in Libya for like 400 bucks.
Which is probably...
We should have done that to replace Ryan.
Lachland is a nice little village in the suburbs of Cincinnati, Ohio.
They were...
My school's main rival as a kid.
The town has now apparently been overrun by 3,000 West African immigrants from a place called Mauritania.
Look, it's so rare you have to...
Mauritania.
You have to put it in quotes.
And it's struggling to provide basic services.
Cincinnati has been overrun by West Africa.
And it's a town we know well from that Pat Buchanan page.
What a fucking joke.
And then here's the last one.
Are you allowed to run over protesters?
I talk to a lot of cops about this.
And they go, yes, you can run over protesters in your car if you not just feel that your life's in danger, but can prove your life's in danger.
And he also said, you know what, Washington or New York, this happens.
California, you're going to jail and you're getting raped by Chico, no matter what happened.
But he goes, Texas, you know, Florida, you probably could run people over if they jump your car.
So you kind of got to wait for the windows to break before you can hit the gas.
Go ahead.
You don't want to run over kids, obviously.
Get in, Yora!
It's like bullfighting.
Picking fights with cars with a big red flag.
I have a sandwich in my car that I've left there since Sunday.
It's Tuesday.
It's been cold out.
Do you think it's still good?
Yeah, probably.
It's never warmed up.
Yeah, it's been cold.
Alright, that was a dumb segment and not good advertising for our free episode.
I thought I had a lot more interesting things to say.
Let's have a brief look at the trans community.
I guess you gotta play the gay segment to justify this.
We've got about five little pieces to that puzzle.
It's pretty funny what they've been up to.
Why are you...
I felt ugly.
I felt gay.
And then we fell in love.
And then they eat their poo-poo.
And we have a very good relationship.
I don't like it.
You don't want to see a close-up picture of my anus.
You ain't gay, man.
You ugly.
Hold the phone alert!
Uh...
Here is a homosexual man with mental issues crying.
Not you, Ryan.
What did you get there?
Soup.
Our boy is sick.
I just made it clear.
It does not matter what you do.
You could get an eight ball of cocaine and a bottle of whiskey or a bottle of NyQuil and an eight ball of chicken soup.
Same duration.
I ordered it before you said that.
Look at this guy.
With his pearls on.
I love, the hardest part, this has got to get gay, the hardest part of this whole trance thing is keeping a straight face.
I don't know if I could do it.
Could you imagine being in that courtroom?
With all due respect, I urge you to either change your hearts or leave my community alone.
Thank you, and I urge you all to vote negation of this legislation.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Cheryl Saltzman.
And you're speaking for the bill.
For the bill.
Okay, stop.
Is my background gay?
No, dude, my background's still immigration.
Pretty gay.
Faire attention.
Now, they're saying normal legal jargon about why it's important that men don't beat the shit out of women in female boxing and female volleyball, and they don't completely destroy all female records in swimming.
But while they're saying this normal stuff that was unmentionably redundant 10 years ago, check out the Academy Awards going on in the background.
Now, I think the dude in the t-shirt is a chick, and I think the chick in the suit we just saw, well, I know the chick in the suit we just saw is a dude.
So let's see how they behave.
And by the way, they also do this thing where they chat.
As a fuck you to the court and to them.
The expectation of female-only spaces, including bathrooms, locker rooms, and designated female apartments.
Sean, always turn it up.
At some point, universities decided that women should no longer be allowed to expect female-only spaces without men.
It was very shocking to discover that a man pretending to be a woman was interviewed and hired as a resident assistant.
Wait, stop.
I just had a weird epiphany.
So, Tranny's like the guy in the suit there with the pearl necklace.
He's a gay, right?
No, he's a straight with an obsession with women.
So he gets his rocks off wearing silk panties.
It's almost like...
Silence of the Lambs, where he's like cutting off tits and putting them on his body.
It's a bizarre, sadistic ritual where you subsume the female's body.
But then who are you going to fuck?
Well, I think sexually you're satisfied.
So then you're with a woman who's like a tomboy.
And then you get to horse around with that and the genitals still work.
Conversely, This lesbian, I don't think it's as depraved with them.
I think the dudes, when they dress up as a woman, they're trying to get woman-ness and get into it and crawl into her skin.
I think when lesbians are a dude, they're just like, I don't want to be a chick.
I'm a tough guy.
So it's not like sexual.
It's not like they wear the Hanes underpants and go, yeah, I can feel my pussy on this men's underwear.
They just reject femininity.
So they can be with someone feminine and then still the genitals work.
So the impetus for the lesbian there in the black t-shirt is she gets to be with a sort of a chick, but they have working genitals.
Because we've all heard of lesbian bed death, right?
Where lesbians about a year into the relationship stop having sex because it's just a pain in the ass.
It's ironic that gay men don't stop having sex and it's literally a pain in the ass.
We're trying to understand this psychosis.
If only the Nazis hadn't burned all those tranny books, we might be able to understand what the fuck is going on in this bizarre mental illness behind us.
Anyway, go ahead.
Small, female-designated dorm suite with one small bathroom of my daughter and three other girls without consent, forewarning, or choice.
I could not believe our institutions that educate our young people no longer protect and honor the rights of women in these vulnerable spaces that women specifically sign up for to live, sleep, cook, study, shower, relax, and be sick.
This story of my daughter went viral online.
Millions of people were stunned that we now live in a world where the feelings and validation of a man pretending to be a woman is more important than a woman's right to female space.
And if they do not like it, then they must move out of the place that they have called home for months and start again somewhere new.
Okay, you stop for a second.
Men don't belong in women's spaces.
We're not asking a ton.
They always go, you don't want me to exist.
No, you can't be in the bathroom because there's little girls there and it's freaky.
I don't want you doing anything with kids at all as far as chemicals and top surgery.
None of that can happen.
That shouldn't bother you.
And changing rooms is a no.
Pretty simple, right?
Why are we crying all the time like it's the new, like we're rounding up the Jews in 1943?
It's a couple of things.
You know?
Like, say you had a big back tattoo of a swastika.
You probably have to be pretty careful about where changing rooms you use.
Okay.
Same kind of thing.
That's not the best analogy in the world, but lots of people, like Muslims, for example.
I've been to water parks where Muslims are at.
They've got to get a special bathing suit, and usually the females don't even bother.
So you'll go to a water park, and there's all these wet Muslims wearing their burqas, and they're like dragging around in the water.
That's inconvenient.
You've probably got to bring a change of burqa.
Not the end of the world.
You know?
Sorry.
It's not genocide.
There's no camps.
Go ahead.
Some girls have reached out to me to share their similar stories.
This is a void of common sense.
This is damaging psychologically, emotionally, and physically to women and sends a terrible message that they do not matter as much as the fantasies of a man.
This further damages the trust of parents and students.
This is damaging to women, but it is also extremely cruel and unkind to these men who have been falsely validated, welcomed, and accommodated into these spaces that they do not belong to and should never have been invited.
It does not show kindness to allow a man to believe he is welcome into a space that is actually making young girls very uncomfortable and may only choose to stay in fear of being labeled as intolerant or bigoted.
We shouldn't be here.
This never should have been allowed to happen.
The clear and obvious boundaries of female space should never have been crossed.
And I am very sorry to those people who believe that their housing is being restricted or that they are being Targeted or bullied.
This is not my intention.
It is only to restore a boundary that should never have been crossed I get some water is protect my three daughters and every single woman and girl wants to have the reasonable experience I'm not even listening the woman in the front I'm just watching all these gestures.
choice I think they love this shit what man when how and if she decides to live with a man period I fully encourage kindness acceptance and accommodation of the gender-inclusive housing that's already available at the college and would support any and all improvements to make the college environment safe and accommodating to all the students as Yeah, that's a new revelation I just had.
I think they fucking love the drama.
Here's an SNL sketch that's going around.
You may have seen this.
Pretty dark.
It also shows you how good SNL was before they started staring off at a cue card that's on the horizon somewhere.
But this incredibly dark humor is where we live now.
We live in a dark joke from the 80s.
Or maybe 70s?
Doctor, will this one need that operation?
Yes, I'm afraid so.
What operation is that, Doctor?
Well, well...
Every night...
Now and then, a little girl is born with a penis and testicles.
And, of course, they have to be removed and reshaped.
It's quite routine.
Five of our seven daughters have had this operation.
Doctor, what percentage of the babies that you deliver need this operation?
Oh, I'd say 48, 49, 50, 51 percent in that area.
Dr. Hofferts, can't you see what you're doing here?
I mean, the 48 to 51 percent, they're not girls, they're little boys.
You have mutilated over 2,000 little boys.
No!
No, they weren't boys.
They were little girls, trapped in little boys' bodies.
Isn't that fucking dark?
This isn't in the notes, but Tisha James has told NYU to continue Doing them.
I went to my optometrist yesterday to get new glasses, and he used to be so scared when I walked in.
He's mega, but he doesn't want to lose his business.
And he'd be like, hey, what's going on?
And then I get in now, he's like the N-word, faggot, retards, jumping around the room, everyone's laughing.
It was an SNL sketch, actually, and the massive difference, pre-Biden, post-Biden.
He was even making fun of me because it was aviators that I was getting, that I was buying.
And he goes, you look like Biden.
Ha ha ha.
Here's another, here's more proof that they love the attention.
Planning their escape.
I noticed this, by the way, I told you when Trump first got elected in 2017, 2016, I had two Jewish friends, Peter Cooper, the cartoonist, and Michael, the VH1 guy.
The fuck's his name?
He came up with the puppy bowl.
Michael Harrington kind of a name?
Shit.
Anyway, two Jewish guys, New Yorkers, born and raised, and both of them said, oh yeah, you have my back?
You're going to have my back when Trump's Gestapo rounds me up?
Rounds you up?
For what?
Being Jewish?
It's like, we're all too busy to care about you.
But look at this megalomania.
It's just really trans is just rampant narcissism.
With concentration camps looming in the United States, here's what queer people are doing.
Yes, I said concentration camps.
You can f*** MAGA.
Hey.
We are getting a go bag ready.
We are getting all of our documents ready.
So driver's license, birth certificate, social security card, passport.
Now, if you have to revert your passport and your documents to previously said gender identities that you were born with, do so.
I'm allowed to do so with my driver's license that says X on it in the state that I'm in.
I'm going Monday to revert that to my gender assigned at birth.
So, the next step, we're going to have a go bag with shoes, clothes for seven days, dehydrated food, think astronaut food, for seven days.
We're going to have $1,000 cash or prepaid credit card on hand.
And this is just for the emergency.
This isn't for permanency.
This is for a week of getting by.
Can you imagine the hysterical screaming if this actually happened?
As they're running with their go bags and tripping.
Falling and dropping everything.
And one of them is screaming, go, go!
And the other is picking all the shit that fell out of his go bag.
What a mess it would be.
That's why we're not rounding them up.
It would be too hysterical.
Off the grid.
We're going to have anything ready for the pets that we're taking with us.
So put some cat litter in your trunk.
Put some cat food or dog food in your trunk.
Make sure there's a leash there.
Make sure you have everything ready for everything that you're taking with you.
Make sure your medication is available and in extra stock.
So stock up on it.
Ask your doctor for a three-month supply at one time.
They don't do that.
Can I get three months of my OxyContin, please?
Have all of this stuff available and ready to go in a moment's notice for every single person in your family.
You do not need a passport to get into Canada or Mexico.
You just need your documents.
But that doesn't mean you shouldn't have a passport ready to go.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Video will be deleted and blocked.
So please boost this video with positive thoughts for other queer people and what you are doing to make sure that you are safe.
And being safe does not mean hiding who you are.
I am still going to live my life out loud every f***ing day.
But I'm getting ready to go if need be.
It says you do need a passport or an appropriate document.
I know definitely when you fly, you absolutely need a passport to get into Canada, but maybe driving, they might let it go?
I don't think I've ever crossed the border to Canada, which I've done a million times with just a driver's license.
And then here we have, even Tyler Perry is furious about all this, and he was at NYU talking about how the show must go on.
Shut this entire city down!
How?
Not on our watch.
Because what they will try to do, they will try to separate us.
They will kick the trans people off the bus.
What?
They're kicking the indigenous people off the bus.
What?
They're kicking our intersex community off the bus.
How do we know?
Our two-sphere plus family, they're kicking them off the bus.
Is that a metaphor?
A membership LGBT buzz.
Well, guess what, babe?
That LGBT buzz, it's not going to have any gas.
It won't have any tires.
Y'all not going any far.
Stop.
So it's a metaphor.
But he's talking about how the American government changed all LGBTQ plus whatever to just LGB. And that chick Arielle Scariella, who's a great follow lesbian chick, she goes, but if you're intersex, how would anyone know?
And LGB covers everything.
T is under B. You're good.
Go ahead.
Because we are a community that is made and has been woven with the fire and the spirit of revolution!
Revolution!
Revolution!
In his defense, when you're talking at night to a crowd of people, that's basically all you can do.
I've tried to be funny and be nuanced.
It doesn't fly.
What was the last line he said?
It's not that cold.
We should get to the...
I did want to briefly mention the helicopter, but we don't know exactly what is going on with that.
The options are...
She crashed into that thing on purpose.
She's a member of a trans terror cell.
Like, what are they called?
Viv?
Which Andy Ngo dug up.
I'm going to go with Ngo on that theory.
Total incompetence.
That's where I'm leaning.
What are the other options?
It was, yeah, the government doing it on purpose and wanting to sabotage to make Trump look bad?
Nah.
Now, we keep hearing she's a co-pilot, and she had 500 years' experience, but she wasn't a co-pilot.
I don't know.
I, uh, something just flew into my mouth.
Oh, a mustache hair.
It's looking a lot like it was incompetence.
It's looking a lot like it was DEI, and someone forced her in there because they pushed meritocracy aside.
And we saw, by the way, at the DNC, What it is like when you push meritocracy aside.
You see how complicated it is as they sit there going, two trans, okay, you have two women.
With meritocracy, you don't have to think about any of that.
The best pilot goes.
So, I don't know, go to 2-9.
It's looking like it was just...
The incompetence crisis.
Rebecca Loback was still in ROTC training in 2018. How is she flying government continuity missions?
I can't read that when it's not over on one side.
In a Blackhawk DC six years later as a captain?
How did she afford a $20,000 house, two years in the military?
I think these are legit questions.
Yeah, I've heard Metkin.
You know how it goes on this show.
I err on the side of incompetence.
Anthony errs on the side of evil.
I think the answer is somewhere in between, but it's good that we both hammer away at both of those.
Who's the guy who's running it all?
Go to 3.0.
Who's behind aviation?
Remember that guy when he was getting sworn in and Ted Cruz had a bunch of tough questions?
I didn't know the answers, but I don't run aviation.
What's he got to say?
Go ahead.
Hi, I'm Brad Mims, deputy administrator at the Federal Aviation Administration.
He was in charge of buses in D.C. or something.
We are looking for the best and brightest to join us as air traffic controllers.
We need a diverse group of air traffic controllers to bring distinct perspectives to handle the ever-changing aerospace landscape.
I'm calling on students and alumni from HBCUs, Hispanic-serving institutions, and tribal colleges to apply now to become air traffic controllers.
I don't want anyone interested to miss out on this amazing career opportunity.
Make sure you complete your full application during our application window.
The short application window ends on...
We also remember all that stuff about how the air traffic controllers are focusing on the mentally ill.
And giving them an opportunity.
Also, when they were listing all the mentally ill and handicapped people that they wanted to include in ATC, they mentioned dwarves.
I think if I was a dwarf, I'd go, I'm fine.
I'm just very, very short.
Right, Ryan?
Yeah.
It's not handicapped to be a dwarf.
Are you handicapped?
No, you have a life.
You have a wife.
You have two jobs right now, actually.
You're doing pretty good.
Two jobs, three kids, one wife, one guard, two lunches.
I was going to get to the letters page unless you wanted to add anything.
There's something specific.
Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
Let me touch it.
So here's kind of a fun one.
My son wore the D.I.E. shirt on his school's news program.
He gave us permission to air this, right?
So we have a shirt here on the store.
If you go to the merch section, I think we're still allowed to sell merch as long as it doesn't say Proud Boys on it.
And six minutes in, the shirt says not D.E.I., but D.I.E., Diversity, Inclusion, and Equity.
So it looks relatively benign.
But if you're remotely perceptive, you see that we are saying that diversity, equity, inclusion is a great way to die, which is what happened with the Apache helicopter.
I'm 99% sure.
I will say, the good news about the whole Apache thing, not that there could be good news, but these investigators do a phenomenal job, and something as important as 67 deaths, we are going to get to the bottom of it.
They say they'll have sort of...
The first draft of what happened in a month.
But we're going to get the entire story.
100% guaranteed.
And it's not going to look good for the DEI people.
Did you find it yet?
Is it the chirp man?
My son wore the D-I-E shirt.
It's flagged, right?
Oh, there we go.
Yep.
And then you jump to six minutes in on the video.
550. I think it's his local high school.
That's cool that the high school has a recording studio that's nicer than ours and a TV station.
We didn't have that.
Did you have that in your school?
We didn't even have a radio station in my college.
Look at this shit.
Can't hear them.
Did you know if you got in yet?
Actually, no.
With being on the broadcast and all, I can't really check my email yet.
Gotcha, gotcha.
Maybe at the end of the broadcast I'll check.
Good idea.
I'm dying to know if you got him.
In case you missed it this morning, here are some highlights from Mr. Bell's morning announcements.
Don't forget that we are having a spirit week next week.
Look at the graphic on the screen now.
Can't look at it too long.
I think he's better than me.
It's bad for business.
Someone sent it.
We were talking about Mark Peterson, the photographer, and how he's a total hack and his job is just propaganda.
Blows out the flash on every one of his enemies and tries to get them, if they're like this, just even a tiny bit, he makes sure he gets that and then blows out the shadows.
He did it to me for Vanity Fair, and I hadn't seen this before, but apparently he did it to Elon Musk in Redux.
This one is just called Mark Peterson.
What is Redux again?
Oh, shit.
You want to make sure you get the one that comes from...
Wait, I might have to send you the original.
You know how your email scrunches things down?
What is that thing?
I'm going to resend it to you, Ryan, personally, and GOG personally, because the one that's in my email is...
Sometimes you're...
Yeah, my email shrinks things unless I set it to large.
Anyway, you get the idea.
Mark Peterson's a hack and he blew it.
No, actually, go back to your email because you want to see it sharp.
We're talking about a photographer.
And you should see this picture high-res.
Who is Jonathan Lemire?
I wonder if any of these authors see that they used Mark Peterson and they go, oh, fuck, man.
I wrote a good article and you turned it into...
Oh, he's at the Atlantic.
Yeah, so he's definitely on the side of Mark Peterson.
He loves this shit.
What a douche.
We didn't elect Elon Musk.
Yeah, there you go.
That's this guy's career.
That's his fucking career.
Lying with a flash.
And then...
Crust Punk merch pitch.
Sometimes I write out specific emails I want to get to.
And that's what I did here.
I was saying I want to do a bunch of crusty, it looks like super anarcho punk shit.
Crust Punk merch.
Wait, what's going on?
Oh, it won't come up because I didn't put a space in.
I don't know about this.
This guy writes in, hey Gav, a while back you said, did I talk about this yesterday?
I'm a tattoo artist, illustrator, former musician.
I design logos, artwork for local bands.
I thought I'd take a crack at it.
I'm open to suggestions for tweaks.
Let me know what you think.
I'll send it to you high res.
I don't know.
I don't think it's convincing.
What do you think?
I don't really like it.
It's too obviously kidding.
I want like crusty punks to see it and believe it.
Alright, now let's just get to the normal mailbag.
And that is here.
What is?
Instagram of the merch guy.
Oh, okay.
Tattooist.
So it's in archive.
And we go to the first.
Got an email from Rocky Dennis, who I mentioned earlier when discussing Back to the Future.
This is the star of the movie Mask, not the Jim Carrey one, but the 80s one.
Good morning, I met Sean, my father, after 21 years of life and haven't seen him in a couple years until one day he pops up on your show.
Awfully small world.
Please let him know.
My mother is absolutely going to get the back child support from him now.
Thanks, Rocky Dennis.
That's pretty cool.
Do you remember this?
Meeting your son Rocky, Sean?
Yeah, I was visiting my secret Nebraska family and I did see my retarded young son and I'm surprised that he knows how to operate the email because last time he didn't know how to do that.
So I noticed you've stolen my cross-eyed photos.
I've been doing that my entire life and I have the pictures to prove it, Gavin.
Well, we'll have to see them on Sean Day.
I'll look for them, yeah.
Which is coming up.
I dread that day very much, as do probably most of the fans, if not all of them, but thank you for thinking of me.
What, you don't want to do Sean Day?
No, we'll do it.
It's going to be great.
Well, this is a very open, there's no holds barred here on this show.
So, here's a good one we should get to about the terrorists.
We mentioned this earlier, that he's just really trying to scare Canada and Mexico.
To make sure the bargaining table has some edge to it.
This is what he does.
Trump is very combative, as Dana White points out when talking to Piers Morgan.
But this email is called Trump in a nutshell, and it has him discussing the tariffs, which is exactly what we thought it was.
All right, I hear a lot of nattering over there.
Hit it.
And I said, somebody said, well, what would you do?
What can you do?
So easy.
I'd drop a 25% tax on China.
And, you know, I said to somebody that it's really the messenger.
The messenger is important.
I could have one man say, we're going to tax you 25%.
And I could say another, listen, you motherfuckers, we're going to tax you 25%.
And I said, somebody said, well, what would you do?
What can you do?
He's a prophet.
Well, you're not really a prophet if you're saying you're going to do something and then you do it, I guess.
But that's exactly what is going on, folks.
I think what's really happening with Trump is we haven't seen a bonafide politician in this country since.
I kind of liked Clinton.
He was frugal.
He was like Ed Koch.
Was that his name?
The gay bald guy?
So we haven't really seen, you know, actual politicians being actual like Maggie Thatcher, Ronald Reagan type of real deal niggas.
And we're finally seeing it.
And it's confusing.
That's why you have people packing go bags.
Are you going to come kill me?
No, loser.
I'm rounding up illegal immigrants who are raping children.
Oh, so trans?
What?
No, you're fine.
Oh, okay.
But you said you don't want kids cutting their tits off.
Yeah, so you don't want me to exist.
What?
Jesus, calm down.
All right, that's enough.
Let us get to the final video on this free show, which is Tuesday, February 4th, 2025. So
I'm sort of holding back on the Apache crash.
My gut says it was DEI. She shouldn't have been there.
She was in over her head.
She panicked.
I don't think women should fly helicopters in general.
They're terrible at driving, as yesterday's guest pointed out.
Before we go, though, I would point out that...
Compound Censored has more content than you can shake a stick at.
It is all high quality.
We work hard on this, try to make you feel sane.
A wee bit of sanity in a world gone mad.
And I think today's show is a pretty good example of what we provide you every single day.
I love Compound Censored, and I can't even watch all the shows.
It's $10 a month with the promo code GAVIN, right?
It's $12, but GAVIN gives you 20% off.
Why don't you try it for a month and see if you don't like it?
It changes people's lives.
And not just...
Tuesday's a serious political show.
Mondays we just goof off.
We help people put a ring on it, get married, have kids.
It's all about positive vibes here and improving your life.
We make fun of the left because we have no interest in bridging the gap anymore.
That flew the coop.
We're not just inviting them to Thanksgiving.
We're still available, but as far as putting out the olive branch, you kept breaking it.
So, no, we'll just be here if you need us.
You can continue with your lunatic go bags while we get on with our lives, saving this country and bringing back freedom to the Western world.
But this is actually a good example of that.
So, inexperienced broads.
Who crash helicopters is their world.
This is our world.
This is what we want America and the West to be.
Ready?
go.
It's the same old theme Say it's 1960 Eeyorehead Eeyorehead They're still fighting With their tanks And their bombs And their bombs And their guns Eeyorehead They're laughing your head off Why 10-15-5-6 They are dying
What's Eeyorehead Eeyorehead soap Eeyorehead What's Eeyorehead Eeyorehead Eeyorehead Eeyorehead Eeyorehead Eeyorehead tried shame, but as Buchanan points out, the time for apologies has passed.
It's time to enjoy the fruits of our labor, enjoy freedom, and enjoy the fact that the West is the best.
Until next time, folks, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.