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June 3, 2024 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
38:27
S5E96 - WHITE DEVIL ADVOCATE (FREE PART)

Before letting the God Wheel take over, we discuss new HC bands, the negro league, some sprinkles, and the death of justice. Hide Content

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Time Text
Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
Coming out of the woodwork, eager to replicate.
Speak my name, but know no truth.
And what does that reflect on you?
You want to talk, but it's all lies.
You can keep your ass straight.
That's a great band.
What is that?
Days Spent.
Song is Best Wishes.
These guys started up in COVID.
I think COVID was pretty good for rock and roll.
I'm a fan.
Good work, China.
Oh, I should turn off the AC.
It's kind of loud.
China.
I left my computer running.
I didn't even hear you start the show, Ryan.
What do you think of that?
You asked if I was ready twice, and I said, oh, shit.
I'm fucking up.
Excuse my language.
I wonder if it's going to distract me hearing Norm MacDonald blaring from my office.
It's blaring.
I can hear it through my headphones.
Getting their start in 2019, they spent a hardcore band from Florida.
They released a killer EP called Tourist.
We all know each other from the scene and playing with each other's bands for 15 plus years.
They spent vocalist Nancy told no echo via email.
Yeah, you can kind of hear that they've been around for a long time.
They're fucking tight.
And you can tell they're having fun.
That's a band.
You can hear the music.
That's a band.
Can you go turn my fucking computer off?
Just hit the spacebar.
You can tell when a band is just there to have fun.
They're not going for it, which can be good, right?
And as you know, we recently cracked the code on Australia, why their bands are so good.
They're rich.
There's a boom in mining, and so you have all these rich rednecks.
What are they called?
Cashed-up bogans.
And when you have working class people get a ton of money, they got some time.
They got a good work ethic and they make great music.
A band I was thinking of playing, False Reality.
This song is called Pressure.
Wait, have we already played these guys?
These are the London dudes?
With the chick singing?
Is this hardcore or metal?
I like female singers.
Wow, you can sure play the fucking drums, sir.
They're from London.
Don't they sound like Oy Poloy?
Early Oy Poloy?
Like that split 12-inch they did with, uh... Uh, no... Reality?
What are they called?
In Speech Betrayed!
Um...
Have you seen this band before, Ryan?
No, and I'm searching the emails.
I tweeted them.
They're from London, the Hardcore Band.
Here's a band I never considered for one second.
They're one of the worst bands I've ever heard, also from the United Kingdom.
This is a band called Gum Disease, and this hit is something I took zero time to say no to.
This song is called Gender Envy.
Scream about oppression Are you figured out?
Add chords by ear That sounds like an obsession You say you can't tell what I am Your slurs when you walk near That's literally the whole plan Dude my eyes are up here If hate comes from jealousy I guess that means you're envious You're toxic masculinity Like, you know how I said music shouldn't have jokes in it, like Ween and Weird Al, and sex is the same way, you shouldn't joke around during intercourse?
You can be political, I like crass and conflict, but when it's just sopping with your agenda, you just ruin everyone's fun, you dumb bitches.
Let's hear it some more.
It's got all the buzzwords in it.
They turned their silly gender bullshit into an entire subculture and identity.
You want to erase me?
Have a look at them, 1, 4.
I got to send you something, Ryan, that's going around.
You're going to barf.
This is done?
Yeah, just show any picture.
There they are.
Oh, gum disease, aptly titled.
Imagine asking them about Trump.
What do you think of these 35 counts, ladies?
Would you hate more Trump or toothpaste?
That was the front page of the Post, by the way.
Injustice.
I don't think the right understands how good this is for us.
This is great news.
They just solidified Trump's victory.
His fundraising is going to be off the chain.
"Gelvin Bragg gave Democratic politicians "what they wanted, convicting Donald Trump." I don't think the right understands how good this is for us.
This is great news.
They just solidified Trump's victory.
His fundraising is gonna be off the chain.
It could happen to you is now a totally convincing thing.
I know J6ers, by the way, who still haven't started their trials, and they said, strangely enough, yesterday, all these felonies were added to their charges.
Like, we are in overdrive.
And wasn't it, it was four, yeah, we talked about this last night on the Cop Show.
It's four days before the primaries.
July 11th?
The primaries are July 15th, I think?
Of course, yesterday we didn't get to the news.
I'm gonna kill all the Jews.
Don't take that out of context, please.
Oh yeah, I said I was sending you something.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
It's okay, it's okay, it's okay.
I've seen a few people sending this around, and it's become like a thing.
And it's young people announcing their majors.
Now, I haven't been to school in a long-ass time.
I graduated in...
Early 90s.
Graduated high school in 1988.
Where the fuck is Ryan Katsu Rivera when you need him here?
Phone or email?
Capitalism seems to have hurt academia in that these institutions want more customers.
Now, when my dad went to college, 5% of the boomers ended up getting post-secondary education.
Now it's the other way around.
It's 95% get it.
So how do you ensure that all of these low IQ people get a degree?
Well, you make the education indescribably retarded.
So, I don't know, you'll have to keep pausing these.
Wait till you see what majors these girls are graduating in.
And they're all chicks too.
The amount of men in college, I think it's gone down to like 35, 40% or less.
Okay, go ahead.
Hi, my name's Nikki.
I'm studying Latin American women and visual culture.
Stop.
Latin American women.
Like, what does that mean?
Feminism in Latin America?
Women's rights in Latin America?
Okay.
I could wrap my head around that as a subject.
And visual culture?
What?
What the fuck does that mean?
Okay.
Next.
Hi, I'm Melanie.
I'm studying the unseen body and creative spaces of erasure and exposure of the queer.
Stop, stop.
She can't even say it.
Unseen bodies.
So you mean fat women and creative spaces of erasure.
So like fat women are on the cover of Vogue.
Is that what you mean?
And exposure of the queer.
That's her fucking degree.
I was just checking the one ad.
Hi, we're looking for someone who has a PhD in unseen bodies and creative spaces of erasure and exposure of the queer.
See, this is also why they're taxing us to death.
So they can make these dumb academies, these dumb divisions of businesses.
This is why there's D.I.E.
and E.S.G.
Because these people need jobs.
So IBM will have to have a division of unseen bodies.
They keep going.
They get even stupider, if you can believe it.
Yeah!
Stop.
That's become like STEM now.
If you study arts, education, and social justice, you're now a genius.
That's the new algebra.
That's the most comprehensible PhD I've seen so far.
And they're not PhDs, but you know what I mean.
She could probably get a PhD in it.
Yeah!
I'm Joyce.
I study decolonial intimacy.
Stop.
Decolonial intimacies.
Indigenous politics of resistance.
Decolonial intimacy.
Oh, this is a tough one.
I have a degree in trying to understand your degree.
Decolonial.
Like, I can handle indigenous politics of resistance.
Like the indigenous people, probably in like South America, and how they, in Central America, like the freedom, like the, what was it called?
The Sandinistas and that kind of thing.
Political revolutionaries in Central and South America.
I can handle that.
That's a thing, right?
Reagan, the Contra affair.
Okay.
We want to decolonize these places, you know, make them less Spanish, less conquistador.
So I can even handle the word decolonial.
I don't, where do we get the intimacy?
Isn't that kissing and sex and stuff?
Decolonial intimacy.
Okay, I give up.
I'm out.
I don't usually quit.
I like to get fired.
But we gotta move on.
That'll be my homework tonight.
I'll put that in my briefcase.
Dad brought his briefcase home.
Yeah, he's got some extra stuff he has to work on.
He has to work on understanding the concept of decolonial intimacy.
Maybe it's like, After dealing with the oppressive colonization.
After a hard day.
Yes.
Come back home from being misgendered.
And then finding love in this sort of broken... Mijo, I need a food stamp.
I can get a food stamp.
Finding love in a...
So the sex after revolution and that's what, isn't it just sex?
That's sex.
I think it's a closeness.
Do they do it differently?
Let's see.
By the way, today's episode is brought to you by Purple Works.
Oh, here we go.
Close familiarity or friendship?
Closeness.
Oh shit, I brought it home.
Close familiarity or, oh, so it's not just sex.
Yeah.
It's just being close with someone.
I thought it was smooching, but apparently it's a broader term.
So it's like, it's camaraderie.
So the camaraderie of revolutionaries in Central and South America.
Their culture.
The culture of, see, that I can handle.
The culture of revolutionaries in Central and South America.
They smoke cigars, they're in the jungle, they probably have high tolerance to mosquito bites.
I get it.
Why don't you say that, though?
And the thing about you people who take these dumb things and talk about hierarchical language, you get out to the real world and everyone thinks you're an asshole.
No one at IBM can understand what you're saying when you talk about paradigms and the politics of resistance.
People just go, oh, sounds like she's going to be a problem with HR.
I'm not hiring her.
But yeah, let's take a break here.
I forgot it's the free episode.
I'm hoping to get to the Godwheel.
Purple Works Nutrition.
I'm on it right now as we speak.
Had a great morning at the gym today.
Went in to, told Larry Barnes we hung out with Ricky Fraser last night.
Says, I know Tricky Ricky.
Larry Burns also says he knows Slick Rick.
I think he might think Tricky Ricky is Slick Rick.
Hold on a sec, I just remembered something.
Slick Rick the Ruler at MC Ricky D!
He throws pads at me when I walk in every day, so I wore my helmet till I was almost fully ready to fight and then took the helmet off.
He still got me though.
But okay, listen to this great workout.
It was so fun.
Get in there, right out of the gate, two, Two rounds of pads.
Heavy pads.
Three minute rounds, right?
Yep.
Everything's three minute rounds.
It's crazy.
I can do pads, barely break a sweat.
If I'm fighting someone, I'm punching way less and I'm about to die of exhaustion.
So it must all be fear.
Fear is exhausting.
But thanks to Purple Works, I was fucking giving her And this 18 year old was watching.
Dude, you're not going to believe this.
Stop me if I've told you this already.
I'm at the gym.
I've been going to the gym ever since.
Oh, you apparently don't go to the gym.
I go.
I've been going to the gym since Vice did a thing on Kid Kelly's boxing gym in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.
That was probably exactly, no, no, maybe 21 years ago.
Right?
This kid is looking at me and I'm hitting the heavy bag or whatever.
I don't have very good form.
I'm tired.
This is, I think, a couple days ago.
And he goes, hey man.
What?
First of all, children shouldn't talk to adults.
I told you a million times when I met the Knights of Columbus, they're all 70, and I bide my quips.
I'll maybe have two funny one-liners, and then I'll go, that's enough one-liners for this young upstart.
Let's let the old guys riff with each other, and I'll take a little break.
I step back.
This kid goes, hey, what you want to do is you want to turn over your jab.
You want to turn it over.
Does that annoy you at all or no?
I go, how old are you?
He goes, I'm 18.
I go, I'm 53.
I've been doing this since before you were born.
I'm not looking for tips.
Get back to work, tips.
I call them tips now.
That's hilarious.
Can you believe that?
What I should have, I meant to say, I can still say it.
I see him every day now.
He's new.
Do you have a dad?
He's a white guy, but it would, I couldn't fathom as an 18 year old going up to some old man and being, yo, what you want to do is you want to make sure you keep your hands up blocking.
It's good practice.
You know what you should do?
You should hit heavy bag with a mouth guard and, and headgear.
So, you know, it's state dependent learning.
Uh, the, And then guess what happened?
Larry goes, okay, you two, go hit gloves.
That gay thing where you hit each other's gloves.
And then if there's music playing, you end up going to the beat, so now you're dancing with the guy.
That's gay.
Don't dance with men.
So I go, you gonna give me tips?
So then he feels nervous and bad that he said that, which he should, and he goes, I think it's really cool you've been boxing for so long.
This guy's gotta go.
Anyway.
Two rounds of pads, feeling great.
Larry was talking to some people, which I kind of appreciated, having the freedom to make up my own mind.
I hit the heavy bag super hard, and I can feel the Purpleworks coursing through my vein.
Then I decided to take a light round on the double-ended bag.
I'm going super fast, making up moves.
I find it helps to bounce up and down like that drunken kung fu boxer with the weird name, like Alilaysha.
He's got a, Anastasia, he's got a weird name.
Look up drunken kung fu boxing.
I just always have this bounce going.
Then the water bag, no, the wrecking ball to practice uppercuts.
Then the slip, and I swear to you, I felt like I was just dancing.
And I was shit-faced last night, obviously.
We did the Cops show.
So Purple Works kept me going through the whole time.
Slip rope, then two-round speed bag, three-round speed bag, and then fuckin' 50 sit-ups, 50 crunches, and 20 push-ups.
Perfect amount of tiring, not too much though.
Emmanuel Augustus?
No.
Emmanuel Augustus, that's his name.
I can never remember that name.
But he always has this bounciness to him.
I worked out, this is the second time I did it in a sweatsuit, a full sweatsuit.
Why, are you trying to lose weight?
No, it's just like, it's tougher.
You feel a little yeah, I don't know in a weird way.
You're so committed and like the sweat reminds you that you're in you're in it.
So it kind of I don't know.
Kind of makes you stay in the zone.
Okay, I don't think I need tips from you about the zone.
I'm not giving you a tip.
I'm not giving you a tip.
This is a guy who skateboards on his bare ass, and he's sitting here telling us how to work out.
Show them what you consider your own homemade sport, Ryan, Mr. Athletics Expert.
Are you on Purpleworks when you do this fucking shit?
This is retarded.
And you should be embarrassed.
A way to involve the sponsor, which we're supposed to be doing a read for, but yes, this is- What is- what do you call this?
It's butt sliding.
Butt sliding?
Yes.
And yes, I do have a skateboard, but you don't need one if it's wet.
In fact, it's probably worse to use a skateboard.
And I don't have toilet paper either.
That is the dumbest sport I've ever seen.
Yeah, don't knock it till you try it.
Oh my god.
Pathetic!
Did you see the write-up for this?
That's enough Purpleworks.
Here's the information about the Mercedes CLR GTR.
The Mercedes CLR GTR is a remarkable racing car.
Yeah, it's called Spam.
What the fuck?
How about... Okay, enough Purpleworks.
How about this fucking Twitter?
Every time there's a really interesting post, there's 300 remarks that have nothing to do with the post.
Elon, can you fix that, please?
Nudes in bio.
It's really bothering me.
Uh, Tony Trek, Tony Soprano, that's the only comedy piece we have today.
Get the f**k outta here!
Get the f**k outta here!
USS Enterprise now under command of Captain Tony Soprano.
Now get the f*** out of here.
Get the f*** out of here.
Say it, Ryan.
Get the fuck out of here.
Get the fuck out of here.
Captain's log.
I'm currently trying to change my business profile, if you know what I mean.
If you know what I mean.
Captain's log.
Where's the fucking money?
Where's the fucking money?
You're supposed to be earners.
That's why you got the top... Earners.
...position.
Earners.
So each one of you crack some fucking heads, create some fucking earners out there.
I do not understand.
But you're on the same spaceship.
Where is he going to get money from?
Yeah.
I guess they gamble, right?
Maybe.
There's an Asian guy on there.
Sulu?
Sir, the Federation... I don't want to hear about the f***ing economy either!
I don't want to hear it!
What about impulse control?
Nothing's been done about that.
That was cute.
Unbelievable.
So I guess we're supposed to do this whole episode on Trump and the thing.
It really feels like our justice system's dead, but I knew our justice system was dead when they threw Proud Boys in jail.
Eight years ago?
Now?
Is that how long it's been?
So this is nothing new.
And I got to be honest, I'm pretty emotionless about the whole thing.
Because it's not real.
If he went to jail, I guess I would get emotional.
But this is all theatrics.
Now, you know, the theatrics has some some reality in it.
I mean, there's there's Enrique Tarrio, Nordin, Nick Oakes, Zach Greel.
They're all in prison and allegedly for decades.
That's that's the that's the Dems plan.
If they don't get pardoned by Trump.
So I'm not saying there's no consequences ever but It's hard to articulate like you know when they have Mark Zuckerberg being interrogated and and by congressmen and did you track people on your shit?
I don't care That's not real.
So I don't think Trump's going to jail he's the first president to ever be convicted ever and Twitter's a very it's very interesting day for Twitter.
You're hearing a You're hearing them talk about all the crimes that Clinton did and Obama did.
Remember Fast and Furious with Obama?
Fucking at least a dozen people murdered by Hillary Clinton.
That's a very conservative number.
And no problems.
Don't worry about it.
The weapons of mass destruction lie?
That the New York Times pushed?
Remember, Alex Jones gets a $2.87 billion fine for being wrong about the news.
New York Times, nothing.
Hundreds of thousands of people dead in that war and the wars that followed it.
So I feel like we covered it yesterday.
I don't have much to say.
Let's check out this statement from Trump on the whole thing.
It was a disgrace.
This was a rigged trial by a conflicted judge who was corrupt.
It's a rigged trial, a disgrace.
They wouldn't give us a venue change.
We were at 5% or 6% in this district, in this area.
This was a rigged, disgraceful trial.
The real verdict is going to be November 5th by the people.
And they know what happened here and everybody knows what happened here.
You have a sole respect DA and the whole thing.
We didn't do a thing wrong.
I'm a very innocent man and it's okay.
I'm fighting for our country.
I'm fighting for our Constitution.
Our whole country is being rigged right now.
This was done by the Biden administration in order to wound or hurt And he did this one earlier today?
Does that sound like an old, decrepit man to you?
We'll keep fighting, we'll fight till the end and we'll win.
Because our country's got...
And he did this one earlier today.
We don't have the same country anymore.
We have a divided mess.
We're nation in decline, serious decline.
Millions and millions of people pouring into our country right now.
From prisons and from...
Does that sound like an old, decrepit man to you?
Is he reading a speech right there?
We have a country that's in big trouble.
This was a disgrace.
So what's the speech you're going to show today?
Oh yeah, in Trump Tower.
Maybe sad thinking that like his hair is like different and poofed up a little bit because like he was just like depressed sleeping.
I thought about it and I was like, his hair is never like that and this is his home.
Let's drop it.
We talked about it enough yesterday.
On Monday I want to do a deep dive on that Michael Fanone guy who is standing behind De Niro.
I can't stand that guy.
The Iranian cop.
There's so much weird shit about him.
He's got white power tattoos.
He's got the Roman thing here.
He's got the cobweb elbow which was a Nazi skinhead thing when I was a kid.
When you're a Nazi skinhead in jail you get your Your web elbow.
He could have been undercover in white power gangs.
Iranian.
His ex-wife's very politically connected.
He's very politically connected.
There's pictures of him hanging out with Hunter Biden and Nancy Pelosi.
Did we already talk about this?
There's rumors that he was the guy carrying the Confederate flag.
Yeah, I think we talked about him.
So let's save all that for Monday.
Yeah, but that's the left.
That's the people that they have on their side.
You never know where these people are coming from.
It's crazy.
Will you stop dancing and pay attention to the fucking show, please?
I'm paying attention.
I just fidget with my feet and I figured why not do something a little more fun.
You're not taking this show seriously.
Of course I am.
Of course I am.
I mean, maybe the guys behind me are.
How many people died in American lynchings at the turn of the century?
Late 1800s or early 1900s?
How many?
How many were hanged?
How many what?
How many were hanged during the lynchings at the turn of the 19th century?
19th century? - Uh, 78? - 5,000. - Wow.
So how many of those were white and how many were black?
Wait, is this the part where it goes, oh?
You're not listening to me.
Yeah, black.
You said black.
Two-thirds were black, but a third were white.
So out of the 5,000 criminals hanged, there was two-thirds black, one-third white.
Now, that's not so far from the actual modern crime statistics, so it's possible that the vast majority of these people that were hanged were guilty of something.
I know they looked nice, but everyone looked nice back then.
Are you listening to me?
Everybody wore suits back in the day.
No, that's true.
Yeah.
So, when you hear about, oh, America has all these crosses to bear for hangings because they were so racist, they were very hard on crime at the turn of the century.
That's about it.
I don't want to trivialize the innocent lives of, of course, African-American people of color who were hanged.
That's horrific.
But the general idea is that when people talk about hangings, they were just hanging random black people, and they were doing it for hundreds of years.
No, it was about 40 years, and a third of them were white.
And it was 5,000.
All right, speaking of blacks, stop dancing right now.
We've got some serious pandering happening in baseball.
The Negro League was not a certified league.
It didn't have an administration, a board, to verify it.
It was haphazard.
There's a lot of good things about the Negro League, by the way.
Before it was abolished by Jackie Robinson, who said, I want to play in the normal one, which I understand, that's logical, but don't sleep on what that did to the Negro League.
When Jackie Robinson left, all the good players went to the MLB, the Negro League ended up sucking, and then no one went anymore.
That used to be like church.
You'd see all your neighbors there, your mechanic, your baker, your friends, and everyone would dress up and go see the Negro game.
It unified the black community, and it was shattered.
No, you're right.
And it would keep them from stealing cars because they'd be stealing bases.
Back to you, Gavin.
Yum.
I'm not saying that we shouldn't have equality in sports, but I'm just saying there's two sides to every story.
Anyway, the MLB has decided to incorporate all of the stats of the Negro League.
But these are unverified stats.
Check it out.
out.
In case you didn't hear the big news today, MLB is incorporating Negro League statistics that will change the record books.
This three-year project included MLB's official historian, John Thorne, including a 17-person committee that included Negro League experts and statisticians.
Josh Gibson now becomes Major League Baseball's career leader with a .372 batting average surpassing Ty Cobb.
Gibson's .466 average for the 1943 Homestead Grays surpasses Hugh Duffy's .440 average.
Gibson also becomes the career It's apples and oranges!
He's a legging percentage in OPS, moving ahead of Babe Ruth.
Willie Mays gains 10 hits from his time with the Birmingham Black Barons.
And Minnie Minoso surpasses 2,000 hits after his 150 hits with the New York Cubans from 1946 to 1948.
Jackie Robinson also had 49 hits added to his total.
And Satchel Paige gained 28 wins.
According to ESPN, 72% of the Negro League records from 1920 to 1948.
You can't do that.
It's apples and oranges.
Here, we got a cool email about it.
Will Bill Burr finally shut up?
Remember that bit?
He's like, dude, there should be an asterisk under anybody who had to play baseball before black guys were able to play against them.
I'm not against that, even.
Asterisk it up, yeah, but.
That has some legitimate, because it is kind of a different game if NEGOs aren't allowed.
So I understand that.
I'm almost defending Burr.
But this whole concept of assuming that they kept records right, Is pandering.
This is what I hate.
I'm sick of the endless fucking pandering.
This is from a buddy of mine actually.
MLB is now, this is called Negro Leagues Records, MLB is now changing history but integrating the completely unverifiable Negro League stats.
They could have been playing against a team of dwarves into their own major league stats, therefore supplanting legendary, mostly white, MLB players.
This is insane and devalues MLB record holders of all backgrounds.
They claim Josh Capeson hit almost a thousand home runs.
As of tomorrow, he's overtaking at least three major league records.
Did you find the email?
Is that one sent just to you?
Because I have one that says Negro Leagues, but... Oh, yes.
I'm sorry.
But this is cool.
Another person writes in and shows that Negro Leagues Legends to be featured in this video game and will be the show.
Yeah, that's ancient Chinese secret!
Okay!
February 2023, Mr. Breaking News.
Okay.
But that's what I really care about.
But check the email.
It's just, I'm just so tired of the car.
You know, I tweeted this.
There was this black guy talking about Memorial Day and he goes, yeah, this is just retarded.
It'd be like, it's like when Russian fighters come here and they have these boxing records that are like 92 and 0.
You just go, wow, you're really good at boxing.
You've won 92 fights and lost none.
That sounds legit.
That's six times better than any record we've ever had in the history of America, but good work, Russia.
It's the pandering.
But here's another example of the pandering.
It's in my Twitter.
Biden said he stood next to a black guy on Memorial Day.
And then I tweeted, I found him.
And it's this guy going, he thinks Memorial Day is Memories Day.
and who, I have some great memories.
I remember the first time my dad taught me how to ride a bike.
It was a green banana seat bike that had sparkles in it and I called it the pickle.
That's a great memory.
Go back.
No, not to him, fuck him.
To him. - I love Memorial Day because I have a lot of memories, you know, and just for being an American, Memorial Day is big.
You know, it's a lot.
We've been through it to be here.
Just America is all about memories, and that's why we have Memorial Day.
Yeah, I like her face.
She didn't do that on purpose, but she's like... Now, this is kind of sophisticated, so bear with me.
If that was a white guy who said that, they would just go, oh, we special needs.
We can't show it.
We're not going to have retarded people saying retarded stuff on our news program.
But because he's black and we live in the land of the pandering, the news team went, That's a take.
I don't know.
It is memorial and memories and memorializing.
It's all part of it, really.
They're playing white devil's advocate.
And it's embarrassing.
And, by the way, it's not good for the group you're pandering to.
If I was black, I'd go, can you not show that, please?
Jesus.
That's embarrassing.
It's almost like they're saying, I dare you to say something about this, too.
Well, you know what it's like?
It's like the African aviation, where they have the guy going, today we are in South Africa to talk about a man who's made a helicopter out of parts he found in the junkyard.
He is Captain Lieutenant Makilbal Banzai.
And he's not making fun of the guy.
They're not making fun of him.
It's a level of pandering that is downright embarrassing.
All right, let's get behind the paywall.
I'm sick of talking to these fucking freeloaders.
Before we do, though, let's have a brief look at Nita Fashions here.
Look at this suit.
I think it's my new favorite suit.
I had to fight tooth and nail for these white buttons.
They said that would look ridiculous.
Just do silver or something, Mr. Gavin.
And I said, nope, make them white.
And look at the fun theme I have with this black and white stuff.
I've got my J-Press tie with the skull and crossbones on it.
I've got these shoes, J. Crew shoes.
I understand these are kind of a tough sell because the white soles are, they look like Joe Biden athletic sneaker shoes.
But when you put all this together, It's all nicely... Look at that.
That's the thumbnail.
Look at how well it fits.
Look at how smooth it is.
Those are Nita pants too?
What?
Those are Nita pants too, right?
What?
They just looked a little different.
They're the same material as the jacket?
What?
They're slightly a different color.
No, they are not.
To the eye.
I'm wearing a suit.
I know.
I'm advertising Nita Fashions, and you go, are those pants also part of the suit?
The same company?
Those your skis?
Both of them?
It was such pleasure to... Can you believe the kind of shit this hot, dumb Asian says?
It was pleasure to work on your suit, Mr. Governor.
I sent Roseanne Barr's son a really sexy picture that looks exactly like Roseanne and he sent me back the words confused boner and I go that's my band's name and I just felt that right there where you showed me the person I hate the most in the world looking like the hottest piece of ass I've ever seen.
Thank you, Mr. Cohen.
No, I don't like the cute stuff.
Thank you, Mr. Cohen.
Oh, Mr. Cohen.
Okay.
But Nita Fashions is on tour, and I think we're going to do a meet and greet again.
Definitely New York.
New York.
Yeah, what was that?
Hey, New York.
Hey, Amsterdam.
I'm New York.
Easy Eurovision.
New York.
So, oh, it's coming up.
June 12th.
They're in New York.
I will definitely be there.
And you will get the baby monster pin, the bird, which is the bald eagle.
That gets you into every censored event forever.
I think it's 200 bucks in total.
You get a free shirt fitted and everything.
Not doing Atlanta.
D.C.
is a possibility on the 20th.
North Carolina, not likely, but possible.
And New Jersey, likely, I would say.
I'll get back to you on Monday on that.
But yeah, we do the meet and greet.
We all talk.
We drink whiskey and get fitted for suits.
No women allowed at all.
Do not bring your girlfriend.
I can meet her in the lobby, I guess, afterwards.
But no chicks.
We're out of tailors.
Remember, we have only, how many spaces left?
And most of these have been invaded.
Dive bars, barber shops, bonafide boxing gyms, and tailors.
There's four places left.
And chicks are infiltrating them all.
Ew, girls, cooties.
So yeah, this episode was brought to you by Purpleworks Anita Fashions.
We're going to go behind the wall now and use the God Wheel.
The God Wheel, of course, is where we ask the Lord in heaven above what we should cover next.
And we'll see what he says.
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