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March 22, 2024 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
01:01:53
S5E69 - RETARD MAPS (FREE PART)

  There's something very suspicious about this "Assume That I Can" video going around. Are predators using Special Needs as a stepping stone to preying on kids? Also, Nicki Minaj wrecks songs, j-Lo is not from the block, The Gentlemen looks good, and did Star Wars' Leslye Headland get turned out by Harvey Weinstein?

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Time Text
Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
Nicki Minaj the Vag.
Nicki Minaj the Vag.
Indian girl from Queens, the Bronx.
You can tell by her hair, she's not really black.
Nicki Da Vag.
That's fuck the club up.
Fuck the fuck the club up.
Remix by some guy.
What's his name?
Purple Drip Boy.
DGL Beats.
S&M.
The actual original sucks.
This is a remix you can't find on Apple Music.
It's only on YouTube.
But there must be a lot of musicians, like Nicki Minaj, who's got a strong reputation, we'll say.
And she makes a stinker, and the engineers have to go, yeah, it's good, Miss Minaj.
Meanwhile, they could have made it a banger like this.
It's a good track seven.
Well, if you listen to the original, it's a good track zero.
It reeks.
It's boring as shit.
Why would you want to fuck the club?
If you like the club, you're there.
Why would you disrespect the club like that, if you like it?
Okay.
Sounds like they're saying faggot.
Okay.
Sounds like they're saying faggot.
That does suck.
That's it.
That's the whole thing.
It's amelodic.
I mean, I guess if you have insane bass bins in your stupid car that you drift in and do takeovers with, then it might seem cool to like shake the doors with the boom, boom, boom, boom.
But not catchy.
Not catchy.
Welcome to the free app We're here on Friday.
Oh shit, I forgot to print out the ads.
Can you print out the ads?
Yes.
As you know, the way this works is half the show is free to everyone in the world.
We do that in order to get more subs.
And we read ads to pay for it.
I don't know, does that get more subs?
Should we even bother doing this?
Even, there was a while there where YouTube was stealing, guys were stealing, you know, five minute clips and putting them on YouTube, which I think YouTube thought I didn't like.
So they allowed it.
But I loved it, because it was free ads.
And then they stopped it.
But did that even help with subs?
I think it, I think it could.
It creates a pipeline.
We interviewed Ye, it's something like, I don't know, eight million people saw that interview?
People want to watch it for free.
Did we get like 180?
I think we got 180 subs from that.
The spirit of premium content is I want to steal that.
And I think we even do that with fights, so.
What?
Like that was a premier piece of content.
Premium.
Right, but say you want to get more subs.
I think we're down from 25 to like 23 right now.
23,000.
How do we get back up to 25?
Advertising?
Can't.
Viral news?
Shoot Trump dead?
I think I think it really like the things that have made me sign up is you do get a consistent amount of get off my lawn in your life to a point where you're like I'm just gonna sign I would I would like a little more than what I'm getting.
Well I have a weird philosophy where like when I owned a restaurant which went under my attitude was always just make sure you're open.
So, and with regular hours.
So if a couple is like Thursday nights, we go to the Cardinal, the restaurant was called the Cardinal in East Village, then we get into that habit.
If they show up once and it's closed or it's, you know, it's changed its hours or something, or the food's totally different, they're gonna be like, man, this isn't our tradition.
But I feel like if I do a show every day, boom, boom, boom, that's your habit now.
Right.
But that's just all bullshit theories.
I've always been a content guy.
I've never been a good sales, business-y guy.
I think what Tim Pool does, like...
Tim Pool, he has multiple breaks during a day, so like you'll wake up and there's a new Tim Pool video about like whatever the most current thing is, and he'll just hit you with like 10 to 15 minutes of just like, listen man, that's what's going on.
And he's right, that is what's going on.
And then he'll come up with another one, like later on the day, another snippet.
But a thing, yeah, I think the starting the day, like a nice early clip.
But he does like three 15 minute clips and they're free?
Yeah, on YouTube.
Yeah, see that doesn't work for me.
I'm not free.
How many successful businesses have you had?
As a consumer, I'm saying that that works.
I mean, I don't know if you know Tim Pool, but he's doing pretty well.
And so although he has YouTube, we have a site that if it was free, if it was a destination where people could go for free content more, then they would be like, oh, it's just Gavin's YouTube, essentially.
But we don't want to give away a lot of good stuff.
People don't really come to our site for free shit.
That's not a thing.
That's the problem, I think.
Another thing, too, is I've noticed like an hour, 20 minutes is kind of the sweet spot.
If I give like two and a half hours, people tell me.
They go, I'm way behind.
I got to catch up.
It's like a homework assignment.
Anyway.
On March 11th, the emergency funding for banks, the bank term funding program expired.
This means that there are no funds for failing banks and another banking crisis could very well be upon us.
Actually, you know what?
I'll have a new story in an ad read.
If you jump to 2.3 in the notes, you can, there's a pretty interesting take on the stock market being at death's door.
So, Yeah, this is good.
Ever wonder what a $1,000,000 house looks like?
Don't care!
Jeff Bezos sold $8.5 billion in Amazon shares in the last two weeks.
Amy Diamond sells $125 million of JP Morgan stock and this is the first time he ever sold since 2006.
Honestly guys, something's cooking, especially with the stock market at all-time highs.
Mark Zuckerberg sold $428 million of Meta aka Facebook stock in just two months.
And you have politicians dumping stocks like Apple, Microsoft, and Google.
I'm telling you guys, something fishy is going on.
Ever wonder what a $1 million house looked like?
That's a nice digestible soundbite.
Now, also within this ad for KEPM.com, Precious Metals, go to Joe, go to My Pet Biden, Riden.
Riden.
And see that highlighted thing.
I think it's on the second or third page.
And it was just such a great example of our low IQ establishment and how duped we are.
I've been thinking about that all day, how so much, especially the left, it's just based on lies.
Like Watergate.
You know what Watergate was?
Are you sure that's Biden offering 10K in mortgage?
It's highlighted in My Pet Biden.
Got it.
I'll get to Watergate in a second.
No, go to the top part.
If you sell your $400,000 home with a 3% interest rate and buy one at current 8% interest rate over the life of the loan, you'll be paying an additional $400,000 in interest.
And then he explains $400,000 loan at 3% over 30 years is about 600K.
And then he explains $400,000 loan at 3% over 30 years is about $600K.
So a $400K loan at 8% over 30 years is a million.
So that $10,000 tax credit will cost you $300.
And then he's extrapolating President Biden's generous offer, which is, for homeowners looking for a new place but worried about giving up their lower mortgage rate, I'm proposing a $10,000 tax credit.
If they sell their starter homes.
That means more folks can get into houses that suit their needs, unlocking affordable homes for first-time buyers.
And of course, by the time you get to that one million dollars that you will have paid over the course of your lifetime, Biden's dead.
He's rotten.
Well, he's right.
If somebody's needs is to spend a million dollars, then that's, he's right.
Yeah.
It depends on what your needs are.
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I was talking to a dude the other day, well, John, Big John and the cops after the show, we were hanging out at the bar and John was like, I don't know why Derek Chauvin didn't go on The Lamb.
He saw the backlash.
He knew everyone was freaking out.
Of course they're going to use you as a sacrificial lamb.
Of course you're going to have 22 years.
You should have gone on The Lamb.
And I go, can you get credit cards that are prepaid and they can just be anyone?
Like you have burner phones?
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I interviewed him a couple weeks ago, so take a look at that if you're interested.
Yeah, it's sort of like the MyPatriot supply.
And the first aid kit.
You should have a base.
I got a generator.
I just had it hooked up to the the fuse box.
I haven't had any problems in years.
But I did have a problem about five years ago and we were out of power for three days.
The neighbors were all fucked and they were annoyed at me because they heard brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Onslaught moment, illegal migrants rush border guard, tear down fence.
What a fucking mess we're in.
And I kind of like that it's affecting all Americans.
I got my garage burglarized.
It's not just the border anymore.
It's not just Arizona, Texas, California that are feeling the pinch.
We're getting it up here in the Northeast, which is a good thing.
Because out of sight, out of mind.
And we need this problem to be in people's minds.
Speaking of people's minds, you may have to dig this up on your own, Ryan.
This is page two of the post, page three.
Bruce seems to have gotten some plastic surgery, and he's turned himself in to Tilda Swinton.
Bruce Springsteen looks like a weird, hot old lady.
You know when you meet someone's grandma and they were a model in the 40s?
And you're like, wow, I bet you were a real looker.
I mean, you're an attractive 88-year-old now.
Look at that sexy 88-year-old.
Pretty busty.
She used to model hats for the Sears catalog in 1946.
It was a great time.
The war just ended.
Sexy chicks were everywhere.
She knows, you know the girl who's doing the dip in the Times Square photograph?
Right.
That they're now banning and taking down statues, even though that woman who was being dipped loved that picture.
She knew her.
That's my my grandma, Bruce Springsteen.
Grandma Bruce.
Look at fucking Max.
What's his name in the background?
They're still hammering away.
Weinberg.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, it kind of blew up.
We're big on gossip on this show.
Like, if you'll go down, Jenny from The Block is getting pilloried.
14.
The Bronx is where we are right now.
It is a very shitty neighborhood.
It's disgusting.
Third world.
I told you my wife got back from Mexico City.
I saw all her pictures.
And Mexico City makes New York look like Mexico City.
It is spotless, it's cheap, it's cool, it's safe.
There's fun little cafes and everything.
There's a lot of stray dogs, but they all seem clean and well-fed.
It's just, it's bad.
It's bad that Mexico City is so much better than New York City.
And the Bronx is pretty much as bad as New York gets, but There's certain areas in the Bronx that are very fancy pants.
It's sort of like Queens.
There's a neighborhood in Queens, I forget the name of it, but it's upper middle class, but those guys still get to say, yo, I'm from Queens.
I'm a street kid.
I'll fuck you up.
Yeah, look at that disgusting shithole.
Compared to New York and the bodies you have to step over to move anywhere, and especially Anthony's studio.
It's next to this dollar pizza place where junkies just line up and try to get some sustenance, even though they've been constipated for two months.
They're animals.
They're animals.
And, by the way, I think I said this yesterday, they're literally not sending their best.
I think it's been good genetically.
Open borders has been good genetically for Mexico City and Mexico.
They maintain their elites and they get rid of all their garbage.
Yeah, I did mention this yesterday, I remember now.
So we're getting all of their shit, all of their human garbage.
And they've separated the wheat from the chaff.
And what's left of Mexico is like shitty person free.
All our rapists and criminals are up there with you guys.
It's the opposite of a brain drain.
It's a shit stain.
They have a brain clean going on.
Look, even their like things you get a picture with are nice.
They're mascots.
Their tourism mascots look great.
They look way cleaner than the filthy Elmos.
That's actually a perfect example.
If you go to Times Square right now, it's dirty Elmos and batmen with holes in their knees of their uniforms, their fucking costumes, because they're the scumbag illegals.
You go to Mexico City, And they've got fantastic Lego costumes and fuckin' army guys and dead mariachis from Day of the Dead.
I think it's the old- it might be the oldest city in the world, or close to it.
Um...
Yeah, so Jenny from the block.
Jenny's from a very nice part of the block and she's being pilloried now for, uh, talking about how I was a fucking badass back in the day.
It's so embarrassing.
Look at this.
Why are you filming?
Who's filming you, by the way?
Your assistant?
Hey, I just finished working out.
Can you film me?
He used to blank.
Fuck.
Don't worry.
It's in the next one.
Turn it up.
Running up and down the block.
I'm a crazy little girl.
16 in the Bronx, running up and down the block.
I'm a crazy little girl.
I take my hair out like this.
It reminds me like when I was 16 in the Bronx, running up and down the block.
I'm a crazy little girl.
I used to fuckin' be wild and no limit to all dreams and shit.
JLo is a delusional chaos demon.
At this point, I don't even believe she's from New York anymore.
One block are you from, JLo?
Leave us alone, please.
What's she eating, a marshmallow?
- I'm like this, like this.
It reminds me like when I was 16. - What's she eating, a marshmallow?
- Up and down the road.
- Okay.
I truly have left this woman alone for years.
I have just been annoyed in silence since high school.
- By the way, just stop.
Thank you very much to this African-American woman eating a marshmallow.
Oh, I didn't want to see her.
For adding to the commentary.
I appreciate this chick with the big fat glasses.
She's got a lot to say, but where would we be without this voyeur?
This marshmallow voyeur in the corner peering out like a bridge troll.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Guess what?
I'm a Puerto Rican woman from the Bronx who went to the same high school as you, and you're lying.
I saw your high school photo.
You did not have hair like that.
And we also both attended an all-girls Catholic high school in an Irish and Italian neighborhood.
So you weren't running up and down the block.
You know damn well you were sitting next to Megan Farley and Christine Marchetti in class.
You know, I don't know.
The Bronx gets pretty bad a couple blocks away.
Unless you stay on your block, it's gonna be shitty either left or right or forward or back.
Yeah, she's not from any of those.
She's not from it, but she said she was running around the block.
I don't know, maybe she did run around a bad block.
Maybe in the school year, she changed her hair a little.
Okay, no one asked you, Detective Shitty.
This is all people who went to the same school as her.
I like to take my hair out like this.
It reminds me like when I was 16 in the Bronx.
What hair?
That's age 17.
She's got a pretty serious haircut.
I like to take my hair out like this.
It reminds me like when I was 16 in the Bronx.
That doesn't disprove what you said.
You just like it.
So this is the house JLo grew up- Accidentally.
I unlocked it.
Unlocked it.
That she claims to be so bad.
It's a house in the Bronx.
I've been to the Bronx.
This is like, rich.
The block got a school on it, so there ain't nothing really going on on the block.
This is a guy who'd like to save his block on the Bronx.
But J.Lo now is worth $400 million.
And the houses she has all combined are worth about $124 million.
Let's look at them.
This is her Bel Air.
You see this is just rich people hate?
You can't see that?
That they're just jealous?
And they're like, you should have been shot at.
Like, fucking no, I don't want to be shot at.
Yeah, it's dumb to talk about how rich she is now, for sure.
But the idea that she grew up in the hood Like a wild child is horseshit.
I was wild.
And she's been dining out on that her entire life.
Maybe she was the one shooting.
She never got shot at.
She was the one with the gun.
Complex is a 10 million Hampton house.
She has a house on Star Island in Miami.
Her Malibu house.
Yeah, this one's boring.
Move on.
The scream, I just fucking scrumped.
Me and Jayla went to the same all-girls private Catholic high school in my neighborhood that I grew up in.
How old are you?
They're not at the same time, genius.
First of all, this is her real yearbook picture.
I've seen it.
I've held it.
It's real.
Here's a picture that I took from the school.
We were right on the water.
It was a gorgeous neighborhood.
We were so blessed to have this view.
Here's me and my friends.
You could see us wearing our Preston High School uniform.
And this is what the girls on the block looked like.
I'm sure J-Lo's friends looked very similar.
I literally lived right across the street from the school, so I took this picture from my balcony, and you can see how the school itself is a mansion.
We called it the mansion because it literally used to be a mansion.
We had fireplaces and showers in our classrooms.
I like to take my hair out like this.
Alright, that's enough of that.
Also in silly news, there's this retard ad going around.
Oh, go back to it then.
Reminds me like when I was 16 living in the Bronx.
Running up and down the block.
It would've been funny if she used a real voice.
Crazy little girl.
Used to be wild.
No limits, no dreams and shit.
No limits, no dreams?
That doesn't even make sense.
I talked to a Puerto Rican once who grew up in what's now Chinatown, but it was still called the Lower East Side back then, and it was, I guess it was under the Manhattan Bridge?
Yeah, the Manhattan Bridge on the Manhattan side.
And he was like, yeah, it was all Puerto Ricans back then, there were no Chinese, and we were fucking, we did so much dumb shit.
Like we had a guy, we had a guy named 5to2, And he had two fingers on this hand and five on this, so we called him five to two.
And it was because we went on an elevator and we got on top of it.
And then we were riding up and down the elevators, holding on to the fucking steel cable, and the wheel slid his fingers off.
Fuck.
He goes, I'm so fucking lucky I'm alive.
All my friends are dead or in jail.
But that was not for all Puerto Ricans.
Anyway, sorry.
So this retard ad is going around.
And someone whose sister has down syndrome.
Sorry, I don't like using the R word when they're actual R's.
He goes, he goes, there's something predatorial about this.
Like I have a sister.
She, we have had shots.
But let's be honest, it's weird.
I remember going to strip club once in upstate New York, and I'm looking around and I just see a guy with like a beer, Jack and Coke, and he's retarded.
Sorry, he has Down syndrome.
And he's just watching the strippers.
And I'm like, there's technically nothing wrong with this, but there's something wrong with this.
Like this guy at my local, he's kind of special needs.
He might have fetal alcohol syndrome and he's like 26.
He's sort of like, Hey, what's going on?
He stares down a lot.
I saw him practicing rolling dice once thinking he was getting better at like the odds.
Um, we thought, Oh, he's, he's a virgin.
Let's get him laid.
And then I thought, is that legal?
It's like Tom Hanks in big, like you fucked a 12 year old.
Anyway, so empowering those with Down syndrome, it's kind of got MAP vibes.
Minor Attracted Person.
So I could just be paranoid.
You tell me what you think when you see this.
Hey bartender, you assume that I cannot drink a margarita.
Okay, stop.
So you don't serve.
What?
That's not a margarita.
Oh, I get it.
Do you think 20 year old, oh no, sorry, 25 year olds with Down syndrome should have alcohol?
I'm not sure.
I don't know what the effects would that be.
Like for instance, like it works with autism.
Autism, beer, good.
Down syndrome, I'm not sure.
I'm sure a doctor probably knows.
That's a weird.
I thought you're, you're a know-it-all with everything else.
And then you get asked a real question.
You're like, I don't know.
You're not supposed to say, I don't know on a opinion show.
Well, my, my, my gut says no, but I would think my gut says no with autism too.
But this, this guy, uh, autism is totally different.
He chugged a beer.
He's just chugging a beer for autism.
Yeah, that's not good either.
He's that age.
It's not like some disease that makes him look young.
He's got an incredible skincare regimen and he's 46 years old.
That's his twin brother that he's next to.
So yeah, you shouldn't have a margarita.
I mean, have a shot, have two shots, but let's put it this way.
It should not become a habit if you have Down syndrome, drinking a lot, because mentally you're 11 or 12.
So next.
Is me a margarita?
So I don't drink a margarita.
Your assumption becomes reality.
And parents, you assume that I cannot live on my own.
So you don't encourage me to live on my own.
Stop.
Yeah.
You, look, I know people with special needs kids, even when they're highly functioning, The big problems are obviously making dinner, like eating.
They'll usually just eat like a big box of crackers.
If they do know how to make one thing, it's like cupcakes.
So you're not getting fish.
And then the other biggie with special needs people is showers.
They're always like, did you have a shower today?
I knew a guy, I grew up with a guy whose sister was special needs and I was always surprised.
I was like, did you, I'll just say her name's Jen.
Did you have a shower today, Jen?
And she'd be like, yes, Jen.
Like it was their main thing.
It was like taking the dog for the walk, taking your dog for a walk.
So, no.
You basically can't live on your own.
I think there's centers where they come by and they go, oh, you reek.
You should probably hop in the shower.
Like communal living type of situations, but no.
Down syndrome, not live on own.
Sorry.
I don't live on my own.
Coach, you assume that I cannot hit harder.
So you don't train me to hit harder.
That's why I don't hit harder.
Stop.
I'm a teacher.
Okay.
And 99% of women should not be at the boxing gym.
I've watched them.
I, I, I, I peer and I see the same punches.
Like they're, they'll have perfect form.
Like, and you could just see like the bag isn't moving.
There's no swing, it's just like poop, poop, poop.
So that's normal, healthy girls with like broad shoulders.
They suck.
A five foot tall, overweight, young girl with Down syndrome?
What the f- Like, dude, were we kidding?
It's all, there's so many fucking lies from the lefties.
Like I mentioned Watergate earlier.
I was thinking today at the boxing gym, where despite being a decrepit old drunk, I'm still nailing the bag very hard.
And I was thinking, it's only time I'm not staring at a screen is when I'm hitting the speed bag or something.
And I was thinking about Watergate and how, One of the reasons that boomers got so into like journalism and the New York Times is that gay Watergate movie with Robert Redford and is it Dustin Hoffman?
Yeah, Robert Redford and Dustin Hoffman and they play Bob, whatever his name was, Woodward, the two guys who broke the Watergate story.
It was sparked because I saw there was a book on the shelf.
The gym owner likes to get the boxers to read, which not one of them has ever done.
But he's like, it costs nothing to self-improve.
Read a book or something.
And he has a bookshelf that no one's ever even looked at.
So I was peering at it in between rounds and I saw the John Belushi story, Wired by Bob Woodward, and it reminded me of the guys that this is based on.
It'd be funny if they look at the sign and they can't even read it.
They're like, what the fuck does that say?
He was a government operative and he was injected into the New York Times to break a story that was a fake story, that was blown way out of proportion.
Watergate doesn't bother me, does your conscience bother you?
And that movie inspired a whole generation of wannabe journalists.
They're the ones that suck shit now.
Their children are the ones that are really doing a terrible job.
Of bullshit journalism.
But I'm like, that's all based on a fucking lie.
Or Don Lamon, when he was talking to, what are their names again?
Woodward and Bernstein.
Is it Bob Woodward?
No, it can't be.
It's definitely Bernstein.
Did he do the John Belushi book too?
That would be fucking nuts.
What's his full name?
Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein.
Bob Woodward, put in like Bob Woodward government operative.
That'd be funny if they make him a fake journalist to fake break a story and then he gets into writing and then he does a biography on John Belushi.
Yeah, blow it up there.
Although I don't trust Wikipedia anymore.
Look at Belushi.
Naval service.
Like he was in the military.
Oh!
Oh, okay.
Other activities, yeah.
Wrote the book Wired about the Hollywood drug culture and the death of John Belushi.
That's funny.
So, seeing that book on the bookshelf reminded me of this, and I was like, your whole ethos.
I'm not talking about a couple people.
I'm talking about every left-wing journalist who's between the ages of 40 and 60.
That's all from that stupid, shitty movie that was based on a lie.
And then Don Lamon talking to fucking Elliot Smith, no, Elon Musk, and he's like, we have the Tuskegee Airmen who were used as medical experiments.
No, they had a very bad syphilis rate.
They didn't treat it themselves.
By the way, African Americans still have a wildly disproportionately bad STD rate.
That includes syphilis.
So these doctors went, these guys have let their syphilis go past metastasization, past stage four syphilis, whatever you want to call it.
Let's investigate.
Let's document this.
They didn't give random black vets syphilis.
But that's the narrative.
You burn down Black Wall Street.
Matthew Shepard was murdered for being gay.
Stonewall was the cops wanting to shut down gay bars because they're homophobic.
Lie, lie, lie, lie, lie.
We're all getting a sense that we're being lied to Well, that's because we are.
Suspicious events are unfolding.
Even worse, it's hard to believe what anyone has to say about it.
And we all know the mainstream media has their own agenda.
That's why you need to trust your gut and take action.
It's time to prepare.
Get started at my website.
Prepare with Gavin.
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Just like the first aid kit with Jump Medic, you'd be dumb not to have that, right?
You should have a first aid kit in your house.
Every gym has it, every school has it, every home has it.
So why not get the patriotic one?
Similarly, if there's a major issue with the economy, you should have at least some gold and silver coins to tide you over.
And if there's a food shortage or some problem with the water supply, and that's the way things are going.
I don't know if you've checked in on the border recently, but we're getting the worst.
We're getting all countries human excrement.
And by human excrement, I mean shitty people.
So yet there should be at least something in the basement for a rainy day.
I have all these things.
I haven't gotten the jump medic bag yet, but we definitely need one.
But I have silver and I also have food supply.
Oh good, well way to announce that you're a great person to rob.
No!
Look at this, I don't know, maybe they get syphilis in honor of the Tuskegee Airmen?
It looks like they're keeping the tradition strong.
It's like a bunch of guys go out and they fuck everything that moves and they get STDs and then the history books go, remember when white people injected syphilis into black guys?
If there are white chicks, that's partially true.
I remember when black guys injected their erections into a bunch of street hustlers and ladies of the night.
Anyway, let's get back to this Down syndrome ad.
That's not bad.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You assume that I cannot learn Shakespeare.
Stop!
I would like to go on the record.
For saying that people with Down syndrome are wonderful human beings that deserve all the rights that normal people get.
I would also like to go on the record of saying not one person with Down syndrome in the world can learn Shakespeare.
They cannot retain it.
They cannot follow it.
They cannot recite it.
So what the fuck?
Like this is where we get creepy.
Like their average IQ I think is 75.
Shakespeare's hard for anyone with a hundred IQ.
It's difficult for normal people with average IQs.
You got to get into the 110 zone, because in a sense, getting through iambic pentameter and the vocabulary of Shakespeare, it's almost like learning a new language.
It's definitely like Jamaican patois or something.
It's a new dialect.
And even a genius like me, I remember in college and high school, It would take me like a couple days to sort of get into the rhythm.
I think they're doing it.
While the initial aim was to give young adults with learning disabilities, who are often isolated, somewhere to go, over the past decade it's also helped them challenge expectations.
It is, though, a constant battle.
I'm against.
I will challenge him.
For James Benfield.
It's like, uh, there wasn't a kiss written in there.
What are you doing?
Yeah.
They just start adding sex scenes.
For Hark, I have a photo.
This is the part where Hamlet starts getting a blowjob.
Everyone's like, I don't see that here, quirky.
Quirky.
You don't teach me Shakespeare.
So to get back to the creepiness, like say, just pretend this is an ad for a 10 year old.
And they often say people with Down syndrome have, you know, the mental acuity of a 9 or a 10 year old.
Imagine you were saying, like, they say a 10-year-old can't have a margarita.
They say a 10-year-old's too dumb to learn Shakespeare.
They say a 10-year-old is defenseless.
Like, the boxing thing was kind of weird, right?
Oh, they say they're defenseless.
You think kids are defenseless and asexual?
What's the matter with you?
I know what you're saying.
You're saying, Gavin, calm down.
They didn't mention sex.
OK?
Have faith.
Ye of little faith.
Yeah, this whole, like, they're empowered, they're sexy, they can get drunk.
It reeks of M.A.P.
Minor Attracted Person.
Does it not?
Am I paranoid?
No, I think you're right.
Keep going, it gets worse.
Old McDonald had a farm.
So I don't learn Shakespeare.
E-I-E-I-O.
But hey, if all your assumptions become reality...
Look, she's clearly wasted.
She just smashed a bottle of soda at the bar.
Ma'am, you're already... I don't want soda!
I want a fucking margarita!
Ma'am, you're already slurring.
I will not serve you.
Yeah, you sound like a retard.
She's obsessed with margaritas.
I've been in a bar with a girl with Down syndrome.
My buddy's daughter was having drinks and she didn't handle it well.
And by the way, I think she had one.
Drink a margarita.
How many times did she say margarita?
Let's see.
Then a soup, and I can drink a margarita.
Will you serve me a margarita?
No, that's the whole cadence of the writing.
I think I can live on my own.
So I live on my own.
Stop did you see that she punched through the heavy bag?
Stuffing went flying and then she jumped into the ring if you are a 5 foot tall 20 pound overweight 19 year old or 22 year old girl with Down syndrome do not spar Do not get in the ring.
Oh Here we go LGBTQ bottle.
Oh Where?
Bam, right on the desk.
Oh shit, I didn't notice that!
Boom.
LGBTQ bootie. - I can't learn Shakespeare.
So, what fools these mortals be? - Next line.
Wait, sorry, can we do the whole sonnet?
Can we cover a paragraph, please?
Hark!
What fools jump cut?
These mortals jump cut.
B.
It is a jump cut, fuck.
No, I thought you could swear.
I figured you swear.
You don't swear.
You know what's kind of weird?
God has checks and balances for this kind of stuff, or nature if you're an atheist.
Like, if ten year old little kids, if there's a love scene in a movie, I've said this a million times, you can see them get uncomfortable.
And, you know, if you give a kid a beer, he doesn't want it.
Like, I don't think she enjoys that margarita.
The Down Syndrome woman I just told you about, she's probably like 40, and she had about one drink for hour four or five.
It took her like two hours to finish her, whatever she was having.
- Job, but I can go to parties.
- You can go to parties.
- But I can be on stage.
- You see that?
- That was quick.
- That was real snuck in there.
Obviously no b-roll for that.
Dude, I don't think this has anything to do with special needs people.
I think this is pedophile propaganda.
And it's like a footstool to open the door for maps to be closer to minors.
And then let's not even get into Ice Spice, who's for sure Down Syndrome-y.
And Supapapara.
Yeah.
Okay, Ryan.
Thank you for that.
That's a real theory.
What, people think Ice Spice has Down Syndrome?
Yes!
That's one of the biggest conspiracies out there.
Right next to McCrone having a dick.
I've never heard that before.
Ice Spice claps back at a troll who compared to a child with Down Syndrome.
Let's see the clapback.
It's just an insult.
Oh yeah?
2 times 2 is 4.
4 minus 2 is 2.
2 plus 2 is the same as 2 times 2.
Next.
She didn't even clap back there.
That's not clapping back.
No.
That's moving your wrist.
Wait, I'm sorry.
Go back.
Let's time that.
One one thousand two one thousand three.
It's less than three seconds.
Wow.
What are you up to, weirdos?
So you can feed me drinks and have sex with me?
Yeah.
Cause I know Shakespeare.
And I'm good at defending myself, so you, there'll be no, you can't prosecute me in a court of law for taking advantage of a defenseless person.
Right.
She's a tough chick.
Who can hit hard.
She lives on her own, or I can prey on her.
And her parents aren't... Yeah, you notice that?
Let's get her away from her parents.
Whoa.
It's all in there.
This is depraved.
She's very intelligent.
She likes Shakespeare.
She's not vulnerable at all.
And let's get her away from her parents, where I can just slip it in for two and a half seconds.
That I can have sex?
Be on stage.
Assume that I can.
So maybe I will.
Okay, Coor Down, World Down, we gotta look that up.
Because you know what it could be?
Coor Down could be a good thing, right?
Like the Special Olympics is a good thing.
But maybe, maybe it's been infiltrated.
Like that drinking thing, that thermos she had, that water bottle.
Maybe it was made by this guy's lawyer.
Hires caregivers.
Oh, he pretended to have Down syndrome?
Four best practices to adopt from the Coordown Assume That I Can video.
This is by Sonia Thompson.
I cover how belonging and inclusive marketing, blah, blah, blah.
So, some things you should take from this ad, according to this journalist, are, um, Not listening.
Change the narrative.
This is just boring, fucking dumb marketing speak.
Co-create with people who are part of the communities you want to reach.
Main character energy.
You're gonna fuck off.
What a waste of time.
Oh, it's a black woman, of course.
Affirmative action, hire.
Telling us all about how important that ad is.
Yeah, that particular thing reeks of infiltration.
I'm not feeling so great that Down Syndrome Puerto Ricans just look like normal people.
Defying expectations.
Yeah.
Puerto Rican couple with Down Syndrome.
You could just stop it right there.
Well, you know why they're on the news is because a white newsman went down there and said, oh, there's people in Puerto Rico with Down Syndrome.
And everyone went, what's that?
And they go, these two, they have Down Syndrome.
What?
That's the mayor.
Yeah.
That was Jenny from the block.
You guys don't know what Down Syndrome is?
I know what tacos are!
Following their dreams, shattering stereotypes.
Shattering the plates they're trying to carry to the... Just kidding.
Shattering the glasses that they were told to bring to table six.
They're lovely people, God bless them.
Okay, let's... We're gonna cut this soon.
We're already sort of over.
Let's do a quick mailbag and then a quick final video and then we'll only talk to the people who pay.
Can I say something real quick?
Yeah, I'd love to hear what you have to say.
Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
Let me touch it.
Better than, you know, people that don't have Down syndrome, but you can't, you can't bag them.
Pat Dixon made a point of that, and he was X'd by Bonnie McFarlane and Rich Ross.
I didn't listen to any of that.
Should I have?
No.
He was buying Pharma and Rich Ross?
He was, uh, exed by Bonnie McFarlane and Rich Voss.
Who?
Pat Dixon, when he did that whole thing.
He just said that, well, it's illegal to have sex with them.
Oh, I was there!
Yeah.
You came in with a, with like an undone tie, like you were like fiercely researching and then you said, yeah, it says here, uh, it's illegal because they can't consent due to blah, blah, blah.
And Bonnie McFarlane, She just released a book about her life and her Down Syndrome sisters in there and, you know, she makes a lot of... You mean the book, You're Better Than Me?
Yeah.
She didn't just release that, that's like 15 years old.
No, she had just released it at the time.
Oh yeah, it's really good, I read it, it's awesome.
There's a weird part in it too where she gets raped, and I kind of remember this culture of the 70s and 80s where it was like, she's downstairs screaming, some guy's raping her, and her friends go, whatever, she's old enough, she's the last one of us to not get laid, so she's gotta get the hymen popped.
That's the way it was, though, in the 80s.
Like, yeah, yeah, you're getting raped.
Oh, get over it.
She got pregnant from it and was able to have an abortion because you can abort a rapey baby.
But yeah, she got really, really angry that day.
I remember that.
And we were just asking normal questions about Down syndrome.
But I totally understand if your sister has Down syndrome that you're real fucking sensitive about bullying or misinformation or anything.
I'd probably be a little on edge myself.
This is an interesting one.
No wanks with a girlfriend.
How the fuck to avoid being a resentful, pouty 14-year-old, this is how he's describing himself, when denied intercourse.
We discussed this previously, and I ended up jumping into a relationship because I secured what is a 10 for me and decided to be exclusive with her.
However, being a man, I'm sorry, being a woman, she's obviously not as libidinous as me, and I am dying for it all the time.
I'm not an idiot.
This is obviously to be expected, and I can handle getting turned down sometimes, but when it's been past four or five days, So I don't know how old this guy.
Let's say he's like 30.
He doesn't have kids.
I'm like a ravenous animal.
I can't focus on my work.
Extremely irritable, etc.
That's the way guys are my age after seven days.
I can't focus on my work.
It's like I'm 15 again trying to focus in biology class.
My last relationship was with a woman who was a seven and was more horny than me.
So I guess by that metric I was lucky because it made not beating off easy.
Here though, as you've discussed, women who are nine or higher tend to be more prudish about sex because they've always been hot and men over-sexualize them so it's almost as if they resent it.
With all that said, my question is, how do you avoid being resentful?
As a married man, I'm sure you're getting it less than I am.
It still drives me insane.
Us married guys, there's horror stories you hear about twice a year, but us married guys, if we don't beat off and we quit porn, we can usually pull off once a week.
I'm talking mid-50s here.
And sometimes you do twice a week if the kids are around at home for spring break or stuff.
It can be tough but People think we only get laid once a month.
That's not true.
I Recognize I'm being a pet.
What about you Ryan?
Let's talk about your sex life.
It's normal It hasn't changed with marriage really.
Well, no a little bit because you have kids around Well, your youngest is the cutest person I've ever met Sorry your oldest.
Yes.
She's she's conked at eight and Yeah.
No, no, that's not a problem.
And the baby, would you have sex around the baby?
If we like, hypothetically, if we were to blind him from, it's just weird.
It's like, you know, obviously a dog isn't going to look at you.
Yeah.
I don't like the dog in the room.
Yeah.
I don't, we don't like it either.
But, um, usually if the baby's like asleep or in his little thing, his little crib, it's, I don't know if it's a crib or a bassinet.
That would suck if he's asleep and then you're plowing away and then you just look over at one point and he's just like, You say I can't watch you fuck, so I don't watch you fuck.
You say I can't have margarita.
I recognize I'm being a pouty little bitch, but fuck me, I just want to scream, YOU CAN MAKE MY ENTIRE LIFE BETTER BY JUST HAVING SEX WITH ME!
PLUS IT'S FUN, SO LET'S JUST GIVE IT UP FOR FUCK'S SAKES!
I refuse to beat off.
I'm not asking for hour-long lingerie fuck sessions every day, but fuck me.
Once every three days doesn't seem too much to ask.
In sum, S-U-M, how do I not be a resentful, pouty little bitch in this circumstance?
All right.
Now this is, I'm treading on dangerous...
Ground here because someone did ask me for advice, but like I don't want to change the trajectory of someone's life Like we were talking about last night where we're saying the cops What if you know your son wants to be a cop in this day and age?
You kind of want to say the jobs never been worse, but you don't want to Stop your son from pursuing his dreams So I don't want like this guy might end up marrying her and have the greatest life ever but you asked me and I think you might want to dump her and Or marry her.
Nope.
You, did you take a detective shitty pill today?
Did you see this post?
I actually kind of believe this.
That women, if they don't feel emotionally safe, like and stable, then they won't be, they won't want to have sex with you.
They might have sex with you, but not, uh, you know, I want you to do Snapchat funny faces and drops.
I don't want your theories.
It's a good theory.
This is from a woman.
Yeah, I don't give a fuck what she's talking about, and that's not what we're talking about.
We're talking about a guy who's in his girlfriend phase.
So show funny heads, show the fat guy, do drops.
When I say my show, well this is something we gotta settle right now.
I'm doing my show here.
I'm telling you about things I've been researching, thought about, and then you just off the dome go like, well maybe she went to bad neighborhoods in the Bronx.
I'm not looking for that.
It's not the Ryan and Gavin come up with theories that contradict each other show.
It's not Ryan and Gav hash it out.
This is my show.
I'm doing it.
You do the production.
You do the drops.
You do the characters.
I like the Snapchat dudes.
I wish they would come back.
I have to beg you for them.
But don't be like, yeah, you should marry that woman that never fucks.
And here's a woman talking about like 10 year old marriages and how the sex can die after a while.
That's not the topic.
But yeah.
Well, I'm Tim Dippman.
When I was training my dogs, you know, they weren't supposed to have sex before wedlock, and it's for a reason.
It's probably because, you know, when you get the milk before you buy the cow.
Yeah, no, we don't want to hear about your devout Catholicism either.
Of course you don't.
If you don't have kids wandering around the house, no, no one does.
When you're talking about no sex before marriage, no one wants to hear that that's watching this show.
That's not true.
I have a lot of people that say that that's great, but of course people don't like to be told they're doing something wrong.
So is winning the lottery, so is meeting the perfect person when you're 18 and both of you falling madly in love.
Here in reality, sex before marriage is basically unavoidable.
It's not ideal, but that's the world we're living in, okay?
So here on this show, we fantasize about chicks.
We go, ooh, what if you had to marry her and fuck her and kill her?
That might be blasphemy!
But that's what we do here on the show.
You've also said in your past, and I totally agree with this, Tim Dickman here, that you're wasting a girl's precious years if you string her along and don't intend to marry her.
Yep.
So that could be something messed up that he's doing.
Anyway.
So this is what I said to him.
I go, if you don't have kids wandering around the house, four to five days is insane.
Like, I remember the fornicating I got up to with my wife before we were married, and it was just like hungover.
Like in bed, we'd watch a movie, it would be like five times that day.
Like our genitals hurt.
I said, us married men consider once a week a bare minimum.
If it's less than that, your marriage is dying of bone cancer.
You guys are in the fuck phase.
It should be every three days at the very least.
I go, I don't want to sabotage your life, but fucks never go up in frequency.
I'm going to give that a salient pause.
There's not, you don't have a couple who during, without kids, during their honeymoon phase fucks every four to five days.
But then after two kids in their, when they're 33, oh my God, they're rabbits.
The rabbits go down.
Um, I don't want to sabotage your life, but fucks never go up in frequency.
They always go down.
I'm sorry to say, but I think you guys are doomed.
This feels very weird and I would never like walk up to someone and go, Hey, you should probably dump her.
You guys are not meant to be.
But you, you stuck your nose into my life and asked me to stick my nose into yours.
So he responded already.
And he said, fuck me, that's a bummer to hear.
She's a petite blonde with giant tits and is super cool, so I want to work it out really bad.
However, Gav Stradamus has spoken and I have a strong gut feeling you're right.
That's really what you're looking for when you give advice.
You're prodding around in there going, hey, if you're thinking that this is a thing, I also think it's a thing.
So you sort of lift the cup over the red ball.
But I don't want to put the red ball in there.
We've only been seeing each other for about two months, so I'll give it a few more months to see if it gets any better.
Tens with personalities get more leeway.
I'll keep you updated, but it seems likely you're right.
Alright, so we'll check in on this guy.
That's way over the line for the free part of the show.
I always regret that.
I'm high as a kite right now on Purpleworks Nutrition.
I didn't feel like going to the gym today.
I was obviously drinking with the cops till one in the morning.
Nine a.m.
is when I usually go to the gym.
And so I did my Purpleworks.
I put it in Gatorade this time and shook it up.
I don't recommend.
It's orange Gatorade and Purpleworks Nutrition do not go well.
But I finished that, and I didn't break any records, but I had a good eight rounds.
Heavy bag, slip rope, speed bag, 50 sit-ups, 20 push-ups, pads with Larry.
And that was because of Purpleworks Nutrition.
The caffeine boost helps, and the pricklies, the tingles, make you want to get rid of them by working out.
Purpleworks Nutrition's pre-workout is not only great for the gym, boxing, and lifting weights, it's also great for sports.
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You've all heard this before.
It's got creatine, caffeine, green tea extract.
And I have noticed muscle building on it.
Like when I'm doing curls and stuff, I see these new sinewy muscles on my shoulders that I never had before.
And I'm not ripped by any means, but I used to cry when I looked in the mirror because I would just see a line that went like this.
I looked like a puppet wearing a blanket.
And now I seem to have at least something going on there.
Still have a huge beer belly.
And the trainer explains to me, man, cut carbs and beer and that'll be gone in a couple weeks.
And I go, no.
Sorry.
That's like, that used to be my body.
Now it's that, but with shoulders.
But that's like saying, just, you know, make love to a girl with Down syndrome and you'll lose your gut.
No.
They also have imported Italian coffees.
Organic, instant, fresh ground, not just a decaf because this is a high energy company.
So whether you're into the French press or the bench press, and to go back to what we were saying with the other sponsors, you're buying coffee.
So why not have Purpleworks coffee?
Because you know they're mega, they support free speech, they support this show.
Purpleworks has you covered.
Go to purpleworksnutrition.com, enter promo code Gavin for 15% off.
Purpleworks likes you more than a friend.
All right, let's get to the final video.
Don't worry, I'll do another final video for you guys behind the paywall.
This is the...
Okay, sorry.
Final video.
Most alpha thing that's ever been done.
It might be fake, I guess.
It's so cool that you're dubious.
This is like perfect.
This makes me gay.
I've been thinking a lot too recently about men and how all these trans men, these women who take testosterone, You... Here's something that's unique to men.
I was walking from the gym and I saw there's a new restaurant near the gym and I went like, oh no, there was a jewelry store there.
I went to get my watch fixed once and it looked like it's been there for generations and I see a restaurant and I think, oh fuck, did that jewelry store go under?
I'm never going back there.
I go to the Rolex store now if there's any problem with my watch, but...
I want it to survive.
And when I was, I saw that new, you know how they have that sort of linoleum, not linoleum, but they have that sort of tarp out front when they have their temporary sign to tell you it's coming soon and it was some barbecue shit or something.
And I go, oh no, is that where the jewelry store was?
Oh no, did they go under?
And I felt bad.
And then I walked a little farther and thought, oh no, it's up, it's up farther than I thought it was.
And the jewelry store was intact.
And I went, oh, phew.
That's a man thing.
So trans men, if you're taking testosterone and you don't feel bad about restaurants or jewelry stores going under, it was a whole episode of Seinfeld.
Remember the Indian restaurant he went to and no one was there?
Or there was the Marine who went to that hot dog place that looks delicious.
And he said, here's the owner looking out the window, hoping someone's going to come in and buy a hot dog.
And then it blew up and that became the hot dog spot where all the vets have to go to now.
Yeah, you better be prepared to do shit like that, trans men.
You know another thing we do?
After we see a movie, like say it's a Kung Fu movie, we're Kung Fu guys for an hour and a half after the movie.
Is that what you want to do?
Like that's what I'm trying to repeat out here.
I don't think you want what we have.
We're very weird and we're nothing like women.
Anyway.
We're gay for men.
And it's ironic because these lesbians, they think they're gay.
No, bitch.
We're way gayer for men than you.
We're even gayer than you.
Lesbians aren't gay.
We're gay.
Like this.
I have a boner right now, and he hasn't even started the video.
He's got a bunch of steaks at the end of a fishing pole that floats.
Jumps 50 feet into the water.
This is fake, don't tell me.
You gotta hold on tight when you catch a shark.
90% sure it's fake, but 100% sure it's fucking awesome. - All right, folks, that's it for the free show.
I'll see you mooches next week, I guess, but I highly recommend you sign up.
10 bucks a month, more amazing content than you can shake a stick at.
And again, it's a wee bit of sanity in the world going mad.
Like you hear all of this lunacy going on and you go, am I the only sane person here?
It's the, it's like the apocalypse movies where they have the little radio.
Hello?
Is anyone there?
Hello?
Hello?
Is anyone there?
And then one day, four months of, of being alone in the shelter, you hear, yes, we copy.
We copy.
Are you okay?
There are more people there.
We're all surviving the retard apocalypse.
That's a good name for today's show, I guess.
Um, And it makes you feel better when you walk down the street because you know that we're with you.
And we think all of this shit is equally insane.
But until Monday, folks, get fired, get in trouble, be brave.
No, sorry, wait a minute.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Monday is for the pay people.
I'm not seeing you losers till Friday.
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