S5E49 - MAKING JURIES GASP (FREE)
In this hodgepodge of an episode, we traipse through a variety of subjects including the Michigan shooter's mom, Wendy Williams' Adderall, Zoomer's tips, and AOC's cockamamie theories about Bronx thugs.
In this hodgepodge of an episode, we traipse through a variety of subjects including the Michigan shooter's mom, Wendy Williams' Adderall, Zoomer's tips, and AOC's cockamamie theories about Bronx thugs.
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Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes. | |
We'll be right back. | |
This charming girl This charming girl Why complicar life when you're suave in the chair in the passenger seat? | |
That was Mexican people. | |
They're part Spanish, conquistador, and part apocalypto jungle Aztecs, and they're called Mexicans. | |
They're hard workers. | |
They don't seem to be very ambitious. | |
I've noticed as far as their immigration into America goes, they seem locked at lawn care. | |
Whereas, you know, Germans and other groups, they would come into the New York ports and then they'd live in the city and then they would move to the burbs like the Italians. | |
You know, they were in the gangs of New York five points and now they're in fucking Jersey. | |
But the Mexicans, they don't seem to be kicking ass as far as immigrants. | |
But they play great music and that was them covering this charming man. | |
What's the name of that band? | |
Easy Band. | |
Easy Band. | |
What? | |
That's the worst name I've ever heard for a band. | |
So hard to Google, I'm sure. | |
What? | |
See what I mean? | |
Not very ambitious as a people. | |
Speaking of unambitious Hispanics, we have Mockery of Justice. | |
I thought you were going to introduce me. | |
The co-host. | |
Can you print out the ad reads there, young man? | |
See. | |
I like the reaction to this. | |
So we import a bunch of refugees. | |
They're like thousands into New York. | |
They're costing us $40,000 per. | |
They don't take our free food. | |
They throw it out. | |
So there's contractor bags by every hotel they occupy. | |
We give them shoes and stuff. | |
And they're men of fighting age. | |
And they're fighting. | |
They beat the shit out of a bunch of cops. | |
And as they're leaving court, they have no bail. | |
They don't give a shit. | |
And they're just going like this. | |
We talked about it last night on the cop show. | |
Fuck you. | |
And everyone's outraged. | |
It's like, were you outraged when the sex pistols said that? | |
Said God save the queen sarcastically. | |
Like, they're criminals. | |
They're miscreants. | |
Of course they're going to give you the finger. | |
You imported the third world's worst. | |
Yeah, they're fighting cops. | |
Duh. | |
And I saw one headline. | |
I think it was Fox News. | |
They go, cowards. | |
Ooh, they're cowards. | |
Like, this is, I told you this was going to happen, but no. | |
Didn't listen. | |
And they skipped town. | |
The crime in New York is funny. | |
You have like a day to present your case when you're a cop and you catch a bad guy. | |
So they don't arrest him until they've done all the work. | |
It takes like a two-year process, really, if it's a murder or something big. | |
So they're finally ready. | |
They have all their ducks in a row. | |
So it'll be nice and expeditious when they finally arrest him. | |
Guess what? | |
He's gone. | |
So the only way they can say crime isn't unbelievably bad is to not record it and not call it a murder and change the categories all the time. | |
Oh, that's not a homicide. | |
That's a very severe assault. | |
And that's where we're at. | |
So, I mean, those of us with guns in New York are just like, all right, I guess it's on. | |
You fucking dummies. | |
like my idiot neighbors who voted liberal and now they have fucking No, I unselected the six other pages of pictures, but I guess the bottom part got left. | |
That's something a woman does. | |
She goes, I printed out our tickets. | |
Yeah, you printed out a bunch of ads, and now we have to buy new ink. | |
You switched to black and white, mom. | |
Yeah, cowards. | |
So it's popping off here in America, here in the cities. | |
But we've got a brand new sponsor. | |
What's the sponsor? | |
Well, it's Trump Testicle, Artificial Presidential Creations of AI Hallucinations Coloring Book. | |
We had one here. | |
I brought it home. | |
Big John brought it to his bar to give to the liberals there. | |
It's a fun and hilarious coloring book that features President Trump in a variety of wild and wacky situations. | |
It's the product of a baby monster who used AI to generate some quite interesting scenarios involving, frankly, President Donald Trump. | |
You've got Trump as a DJ. | |
Do you have any examples of this? | |
Yes. | |
Trump is a DJ, a quarterback, a bodybuilder, and a skateboarder. | |
Heck, they even have a beautiful page of Trump shredding the guitar better than Jimi Hendrix. | |
A beautiful page, really. | |
But obviously not as great as Ryan Katzubert. | |
Not even close. | |
Who technically and frankly is a better guitar player than both Hendrix and Trump. | |
So true. | |
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You can yank out a page and put it on your wall, or keep Trump Tasticle as a novelty book on your coffee table. | |
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It's a great gift for Valentine's Day, birthdays for your kids, or any occasion. | |
Go to trumptasticle.com and check out this high-quality and fun product. | |
When you buy the book, send in a picture of your best decorated page to Sean, S-E-A-N, at censored.tv. | |
That's our ad guy. | |
And the winner at the end of February will get a free batch of Purple Works pre-workout or Purple Works coffee of your choice. | |
Just make sure to color in the lines. | |
Trumptastical.com. | |
You know what they're trying to do? | |
They're trying to take away the FUD from people, coloring books and all sorts of things, but we're bringing it back very strongly. | |
When I first met our ad guy, he was with a woman who was like 35, 36. | |
And after she left, she'd made it clear she didn't want kids, by the way. | |
He goes, what do you think? | |
I go, dump her. | |
She's old as shit, and she doesn't want kids. | |
You're wasting your time. | |
And he did. | |
Very nice gal. | |
I'm the opposite of a matchmaker. | |
Dump the bitch and let's indict the motherfucker. | |
Dump the bitch. | |
Wait, did he say that? | |
Why does that ring a bell? | |
Because I said it like, let's indict the motherfucker. | |
Oh, yeah. | |
Dump the bitch. | |
He should say that. | |
He should. | |
So, as you know, today is free for 45 minutes or so, and then it's not free for 45 minutes or so. | |
We go behind the paywall. | |
If you live behind the paywall, as we do, you know that there is hours upon hours of fun content. | |
Mondays is casual Monday. | |
Show up in sweats and a flannel and just shoot the shit. | |
Tuesdays, very serious. | |
News show. | |
It's hardcore. | |
Wednesday, me and Aunt from Opi and Anthony just shoot the shit. | |
And it's both casual and serious and very funny. | |
That show alone is worth the price of this network. | |
Yeah, and cops and robbers, too. | |
And then Thursday night, we bring in four police officers and a felon, an ex-Hel's angel named Maddie Odell. | |
And we go through various police videos, though we couldn't last night because the power went out, the internet went out. | |
And then this is Friday. | |
Friday is half-free. | |
It's a mishmash. | |
I may pull out the God Wheel, where we have the Lord decide what stories we're going to be discussing. | |
But let's do some things that we got to cover because they're hot today. | |
This shootout, this Michigan shooter, when I saw they were blaming the parents, I was like, I'm so sick of this culture of no culpability. | |
And then you start reading about it and you go, oh, he was begging for help and he said he needed a therapist and you ignored him and his room looks like a hoarder's room and you fucking were cheating on your husband and you're what she took four Xanax pills and was carrying six grand in cash and a burner phone on the day of her arrest. | |
Trial here's about her swinger hotel parties. | |
So not only was she cheating on her husband with this firefighter, but she was, they were setting up orgies with, I think it's called Friend Finder or something like that. | |
I'm pretending I don't know because I attend orgies all the time. | |
I tried to seduce my wife last night. | |
She has COVID and she's not feeling very hanky-panky. | |
But I tried this line and I highly recommend it. | |
Would you like an internal massage? | |
You know what she said? | |
What? | |
Nothing. | |
She a yes. | |
She pretended to be asleep. | |
Which is a very nice way to say no. | |
Leaving the fifth in a sexual offer is pretty, that would be hurtful. | |
So go back to that article. | |
I think she does have some culpability here, folks. | |
She's facing 60 years. | |
She testified that she was a swinger sight friend. | |
Oh, no, adult friend finder. | |
I can't see the text if it's not taking up half the screen. | |
Her extramarital affair was exposed in court. | |
I don't think I'm a failure as a parent. | |
Sounding pretty bad. | |
Xanax, orgies, and the biggie is ignoring cries for help. | |
His room was dirty, but that is kind of indicative of a bad parenting, but it doesn't necessarily define bad parenting. | |
Let's just see this. | |
That's the poor kid. | |
Well, I guess he's not a poor kid. | |
She's pretty hot for an old lady. | |
He's sexy, too. | |
Look, that's his essay, or some of his homework. | |
Got a gun on it. | |
A dead body. | |
I think it says somewhere like, help. | |
My life is hell. | |
My life is useless. | |
The world is dead. | |
That's help. | |
I have zero help for my mental problems, and it's causing me to shoot up the fucking school. | |
That's a pretty strong indication of someone who's going to shoot up a school. | |
I want... | |
I want left. | |
I want help, but my parents don't listen to me, so I can't get any help. | |
So that sucks. | |
Also in Sucks News. | |
That's the room. | |
Wendy. | |
Yeah, that's the room. | |
Look at the blinds. | |
Like, if your blinds look like that, you're a shitty parent. | |
If your kid's blinds. | |
This is just dumb gossip. | |
I saw Wendy Williams. | |
I think she's addicted to Adderall. | |
Because her eyes are always golf balls. | |
Look at that. | |
That's called 60 milligrams. | |
They did a documentary about it, which must be fascinating. | |
Where she says she's broke. | |
You know, I saw some fucking thing. | |
I think it was Alex Schultz talking about how Charlemagne, if it wasn't for Howard Stern being on radio and being promoted, Charlemagne the God is easily hands down the best interviewer in the world. | |
And he said, next to Wendy Williams. | |
I was like, what fucking world are you living in? | |
I don't even like Howard Stern. | |
I don't know. | |
What a weird... | |
Wendy Williams is a... | |
He's a wigger. | |
It's a different world. | |
Ass kisser. | |
They just have a completely different parallel to the universe. | |
Wendy Williams? | |
And Charlemagne the God being the best interview of all. | |
Come on. | |
Charlemagne. | |
Like, look at his fucking name. | |
Hi, I'm Charlemagne. | |
That's already annoying, right? | |
If we had a friend named Charlemagne in high school, he would never hear the end of it. | |
Then you add the God. | |
That is so interesting. | |
Calling yourself the god? | |
Who knew that the name Cedric the Entertainer could be outdone? | |
Charlemagne the God. | |
Better than Leonard McKelvey, Leonard spelled incorrectly. | |
You know what? | |
I got Charlemagne. | |
I named you Leonard, and I didn't look up how to spell it. | |
That's not a fucking tattoo. | |
You can do some paperwork. | |
Fuck me. | |
Anyway, check out the sizzle reel on this documentary. | |
From six years old, all I wanted was to be famous. | |
That's a dumb thing to want to be. | |
Showtime. | |
There's only one Wendy Williams. | |
The boss is walking, everybody. | |
Nobody can do it like Wendy. | |
No one. | |
People love Wendy. | |
You are a star to all of us. | |
You are a star to all of us. | |
Every single day for 12 years. | |
I guess they will do. | |
I never saw her show once. | |
I saw her fart and fall. | |
Maybe she is a good interviewer. | |
Yeah. | |
I wouldn't know. | |
I'm male. | |
This one bugs me about Ben Shapiro. | |
If something is big, wait, pause it for a sec. | |
He does it. | |
Like, everyone's talking about Taylor Swift. | |
Her existence at these games has increased the value of the NFL brand by something like $320 million. | |
That's how powerful she is. | |
She just endorsed Biden, I think, the other day. | |
But I'm not talking about her. | |
I don't know anything about her. | |
I'm a boy, not a girl. | |
But Ben Shapiro's out there talking about her. | |
Or remember that he did that big long review of the Barbie movie because it was viral and you have to talk about it? | |
No. | |
That's shilling. | |
Don't talk about girl stuff as I show a Wendy Williams clip. | |
This isn't really about girls, though. | |
I'm talking about drug addiction. | |
That seems to be a big trend that we could absolutely jump on, but it feels dirty. | |
I think Dave Rubin does it too, where like their producer is younger than them. | |
She's like, oh, so this is how it starts out. | |
They're always like, it was like, all right, so a couple of the interns told me I have to watch these TikToks. | |
So let's give them a shot. | |
And then you're just an old guy looking at TikTok and you give your cremudgeonly. | |
And I'm supposed to be the one, but it's a thing. | |
And then you'd be like, no. | |
Nope. | |
We just do that organically. | |
Not talking about Barbie. | |
Not talking about Taylor Swift. | |
I will say, though, as far as scourges on pop culture and ruining our daughters and all that, I'm cool with her. | |
I don't mind my daughter being a Swifty. | |
Yes, she was strung along by some guy, but I don't think that's proof that she's not into getting married. | |
I think she wanted him to propose, and he just strung her along for six years and then dumped her. | |
And maybe she's going to get married soon and have babies. | |
You know how she redid all her music so that way she owns it because it's owned by George Soros or whatever? | |
No, no, it was... | |
Right. | |
Then she complained that she doesn't own her songs. | |
Yeah, you sold them. | |
And then she re-recorded them all and then Soros bought them. | |
Oh, interesting. | |
She sold her publishing twice. | |
Well, here's some tea. | |
Okay, still. | |
Her ex is John Mayer. | |
So she put like a John Mayer little guitar if in like one of the songs, Dear John, that my wife told me about it. | |
I was like, oh my God. | |
That's the story? | |
Yeah. | |
And people were raving about it. | |
They're like, oh, I think that's a reference to John Mayer's guitar. | |
See, this is why we don't talk about gay shit because it's boring. | |
It's gay. | |
Anyway, let's get back to Adderall Eyes here. | |
Oh, I thought you wanted me to show you. | |
Just kidding. | |
Good joke. | |
You don't have Adderall Eyes, Dominic. | |
All right. | |
And away we go. | |
All I know is how to be famous. | |
I really want to be back on television. | |
Bringing me back on TV. | |
That's easy. | |
Look at that. | |
Oh, my God. | |
That's speed. | |
She's a tweaker. | |
All right. | |
And away we go. | |
All I know is how to be famous. | |
I really want to be back on television. | |
Bringing me back on TV. | |
That's easy. | |
My mom has done a great job making it seem like everything is okay always. | |
Wendy, make sure you look here. | |
Martha, make sure. | |
But in reality, there's something wrong going on. | |
Did you see a neurologist to find out if I'm crazy? | |
Oh my god, no, I can't do this. | |
I can't do this. | |
I have to sit down again. | |
You couldn't. | |
Yeah, you know, stop. | |
So, first of all, I don't know if anyone out there has tried Adderall. | |
If you take the 10 milligram pill and you break it into quarters and you take five milligrams with a coffee at 11 a.m., you'll have trouble sleeping at night. | |
I have heard these college students do 60 milligrams, six of those pills. | |
You'd be up for three days. | |
You and I, if we did six pills, if we didn't die, we would absolutely be up for three, four days. | |
So you're not eating because you don't have an appetite because you're on meth. | |
It's the same as meth. | |
If you look at the, what do they call that? | |
The drawing of the fucking, those chemistry. | |
The molecule. | |
The molecule of meth and the molecule of Adderall, there's one tiny difference. | |
There's one little line with a little box. | |
Otherwise, they're the same thing. | |
So you're not eating, and then you start hallucinating because you haven't slept, and then you're falling because you're weak because you haven't eaten in three days. | |
This is my theory. | |
Yeah, look at that. | |
It's the same picture, as the meme says. | |
But go back to her. | |
That was when they took her away from us. | |
And I have. | |
You don't need an intervention because the doctor is prescribing this. | |
So technically, you're not doing anything illegal. | |
In fact, when we did the Netflix movie A Million in the Morning and we documented the movie watching World Championships, the German lady who won, it was tied with some Bangladeshi Canadian and some German woman. | |
She was on Adderall the whole time. | |
And we couldn't do anything about it because it was prescribed to her. | |
All right, get back to her. | |
No money. | |
And I'm going to tell you something. | |
If it happens to me, it could happen to you. | |
As her family, we were all sitting on the sidelines watching. | |
And she was crying out for help. | |
Did you drink this whole thing today? | |
Keep it there. | |
Okay. | |
Keep it there. | |
My mom's a little bit more. | |
You also can drink like a fish on it. | |
I feel as though she's worked enough. | |
She has people around who are yes people and allowing this to continue. | |
This is all too much. | |
Go! | |
Why? | |
I have no idea where we are. | |
This doesn't look like Times Square. | |
I think she's losing memory. | |
Have you guys noticed that? | |
How dare him? | |
I control. | |
How dare him. | |
I wait 133 to her. | |
Anybody could look at her and tell this is not just alcohol. | |
There's something more going on. | |
Holy shit. | |
I think she saw into my soul. | |
Man. | |
She saw everything wrong I've ever done in my life, like when I didn't invite Darren O'Birdie to my birthday party in fourth grade. | |
That was fucked up, Gavin. | |
I know. | |
I tried to contact him. | |
He's moved on. | |
I already know what you're going to say. | |
You cover me on your show, aren't you, Gavin? | |
Why'd you go back? | |
Anybody can tell this is not just alcohol. | |
There's something more going on. | |
That's like a horror movie. | |
I miss my family. | |
I'll be here. | |
Please be here. | |
No matter how many times somebody may fall down, you gotta let them back up. | |
We all make choices in life. | |
We all go through our challenges. | |
She's still a person. | |
She's still a person. | |
That's how bad things are. | |
Let me think. | |
Something nice. | |
She's still a human being. | |
She's alive. | |
Can you tell me where your sister is? | |
No, I don't know the exact location of where she is. | |
I feel like the guardian has not done a good job of protecting my mom. | |
The guardian? | |
My life. | |
My life. | |
Right now, she's weak and vulnerable. | |
And she needs to be around people who aren't going to take advantage of that. | |
I have no friends. | |
You know how many people come out to support you? | |
You know how many people love you? | |
No, I don't. | |
Everything is looking good. | |
I know. | |
This looks like a fun thing to watch. | |
Especially if you're like me and you have no heart. | |
We are her family. | |
And you tell me. | |
We get the picture. | |
Black woman fucked up her life with drugs. | |
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I'm drinking Purple Works coffee right now. | |
Are you? | |
Yeah. | |
I didn't go to the gym today because I drank with the boys last night after the show. | |
But a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, I was on it. | |
You know, sometimes I'll wake up hungover, take Purple Works, go to the gym, work out like I'm not hungover, and I won't know if I'm hungover. | |
And then the hangover will start like around lunch and I'll go, oh, I have a headache. | |
I guess I was hungover. | |
So it's kind of cheating. | |
It's a cheat. | |
And you do get a great second wind when you're on it. | |
The coffee is delish. | |
As we were putting it into our coffee container thing, my wife remarked on how delicious it smelled. | |
And it really did. | |
I was on the camera. | |
Why are you in like a pink light? | |
Because it's... | |
We're going to get sued. | |
Purple? | |
No, it's not the same wavelength. | |
Waveform. | |
This is a cover. | |
Okay. | |
That's how you get away with things. | |
Also, in irrelevant news, this guy canceled her delivery because she didn't tip. | |
Let's play who's at fault. | |
Here, folks. | |
And then coming over here driving on my dime to get your groceries and you don't give me a tip? | |
That is not only unethical, but it's just, not only is it disturbing and unethical, but it's very wrong of you to think that way. | |
You've got a mental screw-up in your brain that doesn't work. | |
And I'm not going to waste my time and breath with you. | |
I'm going to cancel your order right now. | |
Okay. | |
Boom. | |
Canceled. | |
And you're going to go pick up your own order. | |
You do whatever you have to do. | |
You're wasting your time. | |
He's literally wasted his time. | |
Did you realize that? | |
What is that, water? | |
Okay. | |
I hate her. | |
I'm a nice sound. | |
I hate stop. | |
Tap water is fine, first of all. | |
Secondly, I'm sick of all this delivery shit. | |
It's ruining this fucking country. | |
It ruined Paris. | |
It ruined Europe. | |
And now every time I go outside, it's just overdressed delivery guys who are out in the cold with their dumb e-bikes, their electric bikes, zipping around bumping into old ladies. | |
There's no one in the restaurants anymore. | |
They're all to go. | |
COVID fucked us up. | |
And you're sitting on your ass and you're ordering a bunch of fucking bottled water because you're a moron who thinks that bottled water is somehow better than tap water. | |
You dumb loser. | |
And then you're not, so you're indulging yourself like that and then you're not tipping. | |
So he does that for free? | |
Yeah, if you're conscious about the fluoride in the water or something, then don't drink the phthalates and the plastic in the bottle. | |
They just came out with a study about the plastic and the water. | |
Take your water a little seriously if you're going to bottle water. | |
Dumb cunt. | |
My job. | |
And deliver it and then not get tipped. | |
How would you feel if somebody didn't tip you, lady? | |
Answer me. | |
Answer me. | |
Well, you won't let me talk. | |
Yeah, why don't I slap some sense of you? | |
He's now crossed the line, I think. | |
I was team him. | |
He's bad at this, too. | |
He's angry. | |
He's listening all these things like it's immoral, it's unethical, and it's wrong. | |
Yeah, those are the same thing, dunce. | |
You could just be like, I've lived on this earth longer than you in a service sort of thing, like that you tip people. | |
Yeah, this is how you do it. | |
You go, oh, you're not tipping? | |
So you just sit on your ass. | |
I go get your groceries for free. | |
No. | |
And then you don't say anything. | |
You cancel it. | |
Then you put it back and you drive off. | |
That's how to handle that. | |
I chase people down and tip them. | |
It's over. | |
I tip delivery guys who didn't deliver me anything. | |
I'll just see them. | |
I'll give them $100. | |
Me too. | |
That's the kind of guy I am. | |
I kiss them. | |
I go door to door with a huge pile of $100 bills. | |
I just give them to people. | |
I've seen you do it. | |
Unless they're white males. | |
Those people already have enough great things in their life. | |
I think it's a generational thing. | |
My wife does not get the concept of tipping. | |
She gets it when I bring it up, but it's never like an impulse. | |
Like, oh, shit, we got to tip that guy. | |
Here's what happens at bars. | |
If you're a regular. | |
You drink $40 of booze. | |
You get the bill, and it's $25 or $30. | |
And you tip him $10. | |
So when you over tip at a bar, your bill is way less. | |
Yeah. | |
What's happening is the bartender's stealing from the bar. | |
Don't you wind up tipping just as much at an open bar? | |
It might as well be a pay bar because I'll give you $3 a drink. | |
Well, Ryan, you don't know anything about it. | |
You don't do an open bar? | |
Well, I don't drink very much, so I appreciate their work. | |
They got to mix it. | |
I don't like the free bar thing, so I give them a lot of money. | |
But a cocktail at an event like that would be like $12. | |
I'm saving some money, sure. | |
Well, that's if I got a beer beer. | |
Shut up, you're being stupid and you're wasting everyone's time. | |
What if I got a beer? | |
Finish this video. | |
Yeah, we're recording at the end. | |
You can record whatever you want. | |
I really don't care. | |
You know what? | |
At this point, I don't care because I'm not going to do this. | |
This doesn't work for me. | |
I put in the back. | |
Let me tell you something else, lady. | |
You swifty wannabe. | |
You're the only customer that I have had that did not tip me. | |
I want you to know that. | |
I don't tip anybody. | |
Is that disturbing? | |
I don't tip anybody. | |
What a cunt. | |
I don't tip anybody. | |
What has he got there? | |
Is that paper? | |
No. | |
It's white rice. | |
I need some white rice and water for free, you guys. | |
Oh, I just don't believe that we should give out paper. | |
Every single customer that I've been to has tipped me, and you're the only one that hasn't tipped it. | |
I don't believe in tipping. | |
Okay. | |
Why do you need such a handout? | |
Or in Steve Boucher. | |
I don't need your job tipped me. | |
I don't believe in Swifty wannabes. | |
Okay, is that all you can say? | |
Two big cases. | |
I'm surprised that you'll give me the list all that, old man. | |
Interesting. | |
Are you showing me that to show me that you were right? | |
No. | |
I just said Gen Zers are the stingiest tippers. | |
Yeah, they're just dumb. | |
They just don't know anything. | |
That's not what you were wrong about, though, for the record. | |
I wasn't trying to correct myself. | |
I don't think I'm wrong for tipping people at an open bar. | |
No, you're wrong that it's just as expensive. | |
You tip maybe $3 to $5 at an open bar. | |
Those drinks would be $12, and you'd have to tip, so it would be $15. | |
If you have a cocktail, I'm a beer guy. | |
Okay. | |
If it was a beer at that kind of place, it would be $7 or $8. | |
You usually leave $3, $4, $5. | |
And if it was a $7 beer, you would tip, so it would be $2 or $3, it would be $10. | |
All right. | |
So now you're still getting half off, and that's the max. | |
That's why I told you to shut up. | |
And now you've bored everyone by making me explain. | |
To convey. | |
Don't you dare call me a paper. | |
Did you take your dementia medicine? | |
Question. | |
You know what? | |
You're a sick puppy. | |
You know that? | |
I'm not a sick puppy. | |
I pay you to do my grocery shopping. | |
No, you don't pay me nothing. | |
Yeah, I do. | |
No, you don't. | |
Yeah, I do. | |
I pay the puppy. | |
How old are you, by the way? | |
I paid the app. | |
How old are you, by the way? | |
I'm 25. | |
Yeah, you're one of them. | |
Are you seeing? | |
Wait, man. | |
He sucks at this. | |
He's so bad at insulting. | |
And furthermore, there's a guy there holding the camera. | |
Swifty wannabe? | |
I mean. | |
So the man is not even man enough to stop the guy from talking to his woman like that. | |
Yeah, like, call her an airhead or something. | |
You don't tip because you don't understand how society works. | |
But all that is wasting your breath. | |
I already told you what to do. | |
You're seriously taking our groceries. | |
You see this? | |
Oh, my goodness. | |
Oh, my goodness. | |
Are you getting this all in camera? | |
Because he's gone. | |
He's like, you're going to lose your job, okay? | |
I hope it was. | |
Wow, that was fun. | |
Have you heard this rumor that Tim Dylan isn't gay anymore? | |
Am I just dumb and I'm not getting a joke? | |
That would be awesome. | |
Is this a joke? | |
Yeah, I believe so. | |
That's not funny. | |
Because that's Anna Kachian. | |
Who's she? | |
She's from the Red Scare podcast. | |
Oh, that Russian chick. | |
She's cool. | |
Jewish chick. | |
She is cool. | |
I think. | |
I don't know. | |
She's a Russian Jew. | |
I invited her to my Halloween party. | |
And then go down. | |
She is a beautiful angel, Tim. | |
Easy to see how she un-gayed you. | |
So, yeah, that's why I put it up there because Robert Kennedy Jr. is replying to Tim Dylan posts about being un-gay. | |
You saw his postings, right? | |
He cleared up the thing where he didn't click heart eye emojis on that chick's butt. | |
That was his social media guy. | |
Did you miss all of that? | |
No, I saw that. | |
Okay. | |
I didn't think it was relevant. | |
I don't care if a grown man who's married sees a hot chick and goes hummina hummina on TikTok. | |
But he didn't, apparently. | |
I believe his story. | |
I believe. | |
Yeah, either way, though. | |
Like when I was a kid, my dad had Playboys. | |
Those butt chicks are really extravagant. | |
It's perfectly normal to ogle. | |
I was drifting around the internet and I saw some chick and she was interviewing. | |
She gets comedians on her show and then she dresses them up as a character and they have to improvise and it's fucking good. | |
You heard it here first, folks. | |
This is some black dude she got. | |
She dressed him up as an alien and then she just interviewed him as an alien. | |
Please excuse my ignorance. | |
Do you need food for sustenance? | |
Is that no, no? | |
See, we have our skin sucks in both the moon and the sun and feeds us. | |
And again, what do I know? | |
I'm just a human. | |
The light from the moon is the light from the sun. | |
So I basically take most of my energy from the sun. | |
Oh, I see. | |
Yeah. | |
Fascinating. | |
Yeah, and if it gets reflected off the moon, I'll take that too. | |
Please excuse me. | |
No, no. | |
So click on her whole page. | |
And then she has like these Frenchmen. | |
She gets this couple to come on, and they're Frenchmen. | |
And the one thing I don't like is she'd interview, there's a clip when the comedians get there and they're like, hi, I'm Gavin McInnes. | |
I don't know who I'm going to be today. | |
That pulls me out of it. | |
Don't show that. | |
Just show these. | |
Do a lot of latte art. | |
Okay. | |
Well, that sounds just lovely. | |
It's a real skill. | |
A marketable skill in this environment, I would say. | |
You'd be surprised. | |
People don't seem to like what I art on zelattes. | |
What do you mean by that? | |
Their art is some of the most harrowing, dark, criminal depictions of human struggle and strife. | |
Like spooky art. | |
Like for Halloween. | |
People love that. | |
No, he's not this spooky. | |
Spooky is like, spooky is nothing. | |
This is like scary. | |
Like you receive your coffee and then immediately you vomit inside into it. | |
I think we have a photo of it. | |
And just go ahead and click through the content warning there. | |
Oh. | |
Oh, yes. | |
No, that's not as funny. | |
I hadn't seen that one. | |
I don't know who those people are. | |
Pretty good. | |
Pretty fun checkout there. | |
See, don't do that. | |
You ruined it. | |
Blah, blah, blah, blah. | |
Here's an interesting documentary I saw talk of where they just admit that January 6th was a publicity stunt. | |
Remarkable PBS documentary. | |
Admits the entire thing was a publicity stunt. | |
It was fabricated to manipulate the audience, which is why they brought in the former president of ABC News. | |
I did an interview today with someone from ABC News about Proud Boys, and they were like, one of the questions was, so if Trump calls on them, will they come out in force? | |
And I'm like, how does he contact, is this on a bat phone? | |
Or does he project a PB in the sky? | |
And then they come out. | |
And he was like, well, I'm not sure how the phone call would go per se. | |
Shut the, like, the media's concept of our side is embarrassing. | |
And that's why, by the way, oh, I'll cut to this after. | |
But that's why that dude from CNN was so alarmed to meet other people who were MAGA and see that they were not obsessed with QAnon and they didn't think the earth was flat. | |
But so let's finish this first. | |
It was, no, go back up. | |
It was Goldson who envisioned this as a mini-series. | |
We knew how high the stakes were. | |
We were either going to make people realize that this was important, or once you've lost them, you've lost them for good. | |
Well, you failed and you lost most of the American public for good. | |
Nice try, though. | |
I've not met one liberal who thinks that the sentences are reasonable. | |
I don't think there's any, outside of radical nutbar lefties, plenty of people think that what those guys did on January 6th was wrong. | |
But I don't think anyone believes the punishment fits the crime. | |
But let's see the little, this little sizzle. | |
Thompson's committee had gathered a trove of information. | |
The challenge, what to do with it. | |
As hair deal. | |
The one thing that we knew was the information that we have is compelling. | |
The thing we needed to do was tell that to the American people in a compelling way. | |
So that's why we brought in a former president of ABC News. | |
Yeah, I got a call pretty much out of the blue from the Planet Committee. | |
They wanted a storyteller. | |
And while they were brilliant, they were brilliant lawyers. | |
Storytelling for a mass audience is not what they do. | |
So it's bringing a guy like this who would think outside the box really did prove to be fruitful. | |
Don't you love American politics? | |
This as, in a way, a kind of mini-series, that there would be, you know, sort of nine episodes and that these episodes would tackle particular themes. | |
Attack on the Capitol. | |
The investigation. | |
The first hearing was primetime television. | |
As the nation is about to witness a defining moment. | |
The first hearing before the country, the results of the January 6th investigation. | |
You know who fell for this shit more than anyone? | |
Broads. | |
Sorry, ladies. | |
Your team ate this shit up. | |
And my team laughed. | |
Remember the punk guy they had? | |
He had like a dead Kennedy shirt and purple hair. | |
So you were an oath keeper? | |
Yes, I was. | |
And why'd you leave? | |
I was at a rally, and a guy told me the Holocaust didn't happen. | |
Gasping. | |
A, that didn't happen. | |
B, what the fuck has that got to do with anything? | |
Well, it makes juries gasp. | |
Oh, okay. | |
That's really what politics is about now. | |
Making juries gasp. | |
That might be the name of this episode. | |
That's why Trump has to pay $83 million because he made a jury gasp. | |
And he didn't even make the jury gasp with Eugene Carroll. | |
It was the grabbing the pussy joke from, where are we at now? | |
Eight years ago? | |
Nine years ago, he made a joke? | |
Ten years ago, probably. | |
It blew up eight, nine years ago, but it was an old joke that he had, it was an old tape. | |
Sorry, I made a pussy joke a decade ago. | |
Sue me. | |
Well, they did. | |
Actually, if you go to my Twitter, Ryan, you'll see that My pinned tweet is an article I wrote about Eugene Carroll where I list 25 reasons that whole case is complete fucking horseshit. | |
And some of them are not compelling in and of themselves, like her dog is named Tits and her cat is named Vagina. | |
That doesn't mean he's innocent. | |
But when you put all 25 together, it's sort of like Hillary Clinton. | |
If she had one or two unusual cases of people around her dying, it's not that big of a deal. | |
But I researched it, and out of the 80 she's accused of, 12 are rock solid. | |
And this is like, she wanted him to rape her, was one of them. | |
That's a pretty big deal. | |
She said that if they had sex at Bergdorf, she would love it because it would be a fun story to tell people. | |
She also said she didn't tell anyone about this because she's so scared of Trump. | |
I thought it was a funny story. | |
Then she said, would you fuck Trump for $17,000 if he was unable to speak? | |
Which sounds like rape to me. | |
They cut out one part. | |
I said, she's not his type is one of the reasons. | |
And then neither is the prosecution, frankly, if I'm being honest. | |
And I hope she doesn't take offense to that. | |
I just quoted him. | |
I plagiarized him. | |
Because I love that deposition where he goes, maybe we got to pull it up. | |
Go down to not his type. | |
I think it's like number 23 or something. | |
I talk about her mouse house. | |
Wait, what was 25? | |
No, go to not his type. | |
That's not it. | |
Yeah. | |
There's no link there? | |
Oh, yeah, because they cut out the part. | |
Here's a link. | |
No, no, that's the chicken lady. | |
I want the one where he's like, she's not my type. | |
Honestly, frankly, you're not either. | |
And Roberta Kaplan, Eugene Carroll's lawyer, who, by the way, is a Biden lawyer and who got kicked out of Time's Up for covering for Andrew Cuomo, she is one of the ugliest women in the world. | |
She's an ugly man. | |
Like, if you met him on the golf course, you'd be like, oh, fuck, sucks. | |
I hope you have a good personality and you're smart because no woman wants to fuck you. | |
June 21 statement, which is... | |
It's pretty early on. | |
You said... | |
Wait, we got a lot of 21 statement. | |
All anyone who notified you? | |
I don't know. | |
One of the other things that DJT 22, number one, you mentioned her in a picture. | |
I didn't know what she looked like. | |
And I said it, and I say it with as much respect as I can, but she is not my type. | |
And again, when you say type, you just refer to looking at photos. | |
So you mean physically she's not your type? | |
Physically she's not my type. | |
And now that I've gotten indirectly to hear things about her, she wouldn't be my type in any way, shape, or form. | |
But when you were talking back on June 24th, you were referring to her not being your type physically. | |
I saw a photo of her. | |
Okay. | |
And the only difference between me and other people is I'm honest. | |
She's not my type. | |
I take it the three women you've married. | |
That's going to be in your June 21st. | |
You've got to look up Roberta Kaplan. | |
She is. | |
Roberta Kaplan. | |
She's so fucking ugly. | |
And then he goes, you wouldn't be my type either. | |
And I hope you're not offended by that, but I would never, under any circumstances, be with you. | |
Look at her. | |
Look at her. | |
So that makes it even funnier that Trump is saying to that thing. | |
I would never, and under no circumstances. | |
I hope that doesn't offend you. | |
But I would never, ever. | |
Like, he's just fish kiss, the master of insults. | |
They tried, Pete, but they hired Pete Buttigag, hoping Trump would call him a fag. | |
And he said, he looks like Alfred E. Newman. | |
Low energy Jeb. | |
I mean. | |
But yeah, so we're slightly off track. | |
Check out that article I wrote at the plays. | |
And then briefly, I forgot to mention this also in Me News. | |
I got kicked off of Twitter. | |
Did I tell you this already? | |
Did I say this last night? | |
You said this. | |
So on Twitter, there was a video of a girl who was beating up some gay dude because he sucked off her boyfriend. | |
So I tweeted, and this is in the compound censored topic notes. | |
I tweeted, I'm so sick of homos, I would fucking murder anyone who sucked off my boyfriend. | |
And they suspended me because that's calling for the murder of gays. | |
And that pisses me off because we're fucking with satire here. | |
The person in this bit is clearly gay. | |
He has a boyfriend. | |
So the joke is he doesn't realize that he's gay. | |
Sort of like that Dave Chappelle sketch where he's the black guys in the KKK. | |
And it's also a good joke because boyfriend is at the very, very end. | |
So you think he wants to kill gays right until the last word. | |
I don't know. | |
Now, the question I ask you folks at home is, is this an example of a robot not getting the joke? | |
Or is this some moron at Twitter not getting the joke? | |
Is this it? | |
You don't know. | |
That would not be my first choice. | |
When you said in that video that Ms. Leeds would not be your first choice, you were referring to her physical looks, correct? | |
Just the overall. | |
I look at her, I see her, I hear what she says, whatever. | |
You wouldn't be a choice of mine either, to be honest without being uninsulated. | |
I would not, under any circumstances, have any interest in you. | |
I'm honest when I say it. | |
She, I would not have any interest in you. | |
Even being, you know, depositioned by you. | |
Well, the beauty, it's a gift to us, you realize. | |
That's Santa Claus up there. | |
He knows these are made public, and he knows they're boring. | |
So he's like, I'm going to spice this up with a little Bit of juice. | |
Nothing containing Trump has literally ever been boring. | |
That's wow. | |
That's what I keep saying to everyone. | |
Like, go ahead and hate him. | |
Your life's going to be more entertaining if he's president. | |
That means better. | |
But sorry, I promise this. | |
We've got to get behind the paywall. | |
But I'm going to hurt that on the board right now. | |
Grape lady. | |
Wait, did I fucking falls? | |
I don't seem to have it here. | |
These buckets are filled with... | |
Oh, I can't breathe. | |
Oh, oh, oh, oh. | |
Oh, I can't breathe. | |
Stop. | |
I hope she's okay. | |
Okay, now we have a problem. | |
I can't drop this. | |
Into email messages, airdrop. | |
What? | |
Hold on a second here, boys and gals. | |
Boys and gals. | |
Let's continue watching this. | |
That's what we'll do. | |
When it came to that first hearing, we were either going to, you know, make people realize that this was important, you know, or once you've lost them, you've lost them for good. | |
On the evening of June 9th, 8.01 p.m., the doors opened. | |
My heart was beating pretty fast on June 9th. | |
And it was a real question of is this going to work or not? | |
All right, everybody, here we go. | |
Five on the line, please. | |
I'm in this tiny control room right up the stairs from Cannon Caucus. | |
And we count down to the start of the hearing. | |
And at that point, what can you do? | |
Here we go. | |
In three, two. | |
Oh, well, I can't find it. | |
Sorry. | |
The select committee to investigate January 6th, Tadbury's chocolate egg. | |
No one has ever heard of me. | |
Some random representative from the South who has obviously a civil rights background. | |
Anyway, enough of that shit. | |
No, the clip I was trying to find was this guy. | |
We may have covered it too. | |
He's on CNN. | |
And he said, I had some time to kill. | |
And there was a Trump rally across the street. | |
And I went to talk to them, and I was amazed. | |
They were intelligent, compelling. | |
They were not Trump cultists, but they were really concerned about the border, and they knew what they were talking about. | |
Yeah. | |
We're normal. | |
It's like, what's his name said, who died recently? | |
Dennis Prager stole it, but it was originally Charles Krauthammer. | |
And he said, they think we're evil. | |
We just think they're wrong. | |
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All right. | |
Behind the paywall we go. | |
Goodbye, folks. | |
You're making a big mistake not subscribing. | |
See, I got a broken legged tourniquet and branded. | |
This isn't that common, those kind of funny-less interruptions. | |
But the show is usually pretty good. | |
So please subscribe to sensor.tv, and I'll see you freeloaders next week. | |
Yep. | |
Just cut them off. | |
We can give him a little music, I guess. |