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Jan. 26, 2024 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
42:26
S5E46 - YOU'RE MAKING ME ANGRY (FREE PART)

In this particularly grumpy episode, Gavin attacks delivery men, Ryan’s cookie receipt, Hari Kondabolu, Bezhani Sarvar, Justin Trudeau, Patriot Front, Joe Biden, Jon Stewart, and modern America.

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Time Text
Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Kevin with Kevin Nice
work, kids.
Still sick?
That's free refills.
The song is Libra from the album I Forget.
I do forget.
I forget what it's called.
What's it called?
It should be there on the link.
Free refills.
The song is Libra.
The album, if you zoom out, we can see what the album's called.
Raw Steak Black Coffee.
Raw Steak Black Coffee.
Great album.
Two kids from the Sacramento Bay Area, Carter Mullen and Liz.
She just wants to be known as Liz.
Two people also included in the Electronic Duo Gem Index.
They sometimes distribute music under the alternate alias Snot Rocket, R-O-K-K-I-T, taking cues from noise rock acts of the early aughts.
Huh.
Who would that be?
What?
Who are some noise rock from the early aughts?
Oh, what were they called?
Explosions in the sky.
They had a cassette deck on their album cover, Penis Balls.
Penis Balls?
Never heard of them.
No, that's not the name.
Gotcha.
Gotcha.
I was up late last night.
I was so happy with last night's show that I had a little one-man party that included dancing at Gav's tav.
I should give dance lessons to young men.
There's that video.
It's lost in time now, but it was in, I think you were in California after the Berkeley and Coulter thing.
Bedroom, electric, electric bedroom.
Sorry, keep going.
Yeah, and you were dancing in a bar, and it was like a bunch of different moves that were all good.
Yep, great moves.
And where's that vid?
Was that Berkeley?
Can you confirm that memory there?
Dancing in a bar?
Yeah.
I don't know.
Today's episode is brought to you by Purple Works.
So that was a long way of saying I didn't go to the gym today.
I woke up at like 11.
It's hard to do a night show and then wake up and get to work the next day.
I go to the gym and fight, I should say.
But so I'm usually on Purple Works while I discuss Purple Works.
I'm not on Purple Works today.
Maybe you'll notice that it'll be a shitty show and you'll go, man, that guy really needs his Purple Works nutrition.
It's January 26th, according to this.
Yep.
And you know what that means?
Millions of people who went to the gym one or two times are sinking back into their couch, eating Cheetos, watching Netflix, and completely forgetting about their New Year's resolution to get fit.
I can picture in my head, and it's not only disgusting, but very disrespectful.
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Last batch of the original recipe.
Excuse me.
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We got to start employing our coffee machine, bro.
I would love that.
We're walking all the way down to that fucking bodega for a $2 coffee.
He's stupid.
I've been doing coffee at home.
I got like a gooseneck pot, so you heat up on the stove and you put on the, A Frisbee inventor wanted to come up with a coffee maker that makes a single serving of coffee.
It's called the Aeropress.
We already have the French press.
The Aeropress is instant.
What do you mean instant?
It's instant and it only does, it only does like Yeah.
It's a one thing.
You put the coffee in, you put in one coffee amount of water, it bubbles through the thing, it's instant.
Is it instant?
So you don't know what a French press is.
This is the AeroPress.
So that's what you got.
That's what I got.
Boy, you love spending money when times are.
This is one of the cheapest.
I bought this a long time ago, and this is one of the cheapest.
I think it's like $16.
And it lasts forever.
It's very durable.
It's half the price of your cookies last night.
And it's portable.
That's correct.
Then we'll add $100.
I have that same coffee.
That looks like way more work than a pull up a one-coffee French press.
That looks like 10 times the work.
By the way, yesterday, what did you say about those cookies?
You said you need a receipt?
No.
Yeah, you said you got to have receipts.
No, I said to stop and frisk.
Cops should be able to, in New York City, they enforce the city.
No, no, no, no, this was about the cookies.
I was talking about your receipt, and you said, yeah, you got to have receipts.
I don't remember that.
Well, definitely the context was.
Someone wrote in and pointed out that's a Mitch Hedberg bet.
Will you get your fucking hair out of your eyes, you 14-year-old?
I am going to get a haircut probably this week.
Get that out of your eyes for now.
You look like you're a 13-year-old in a band.
What's wrong with that?
That's embarrassing.
I'm actually, my band is going to California.
We're playing a couple of shows in California.
Cool.
You know where one of the gigs is?
Where?
The place where the punch holocaust happened with my broken ribs and all that.
And me and Carl fighting.
Oh, yeah.
That weird spa in the strip mall.
The end.
It's called.
the end.
Yes.
So Josh hooked us up with that.
Here's the French press.
Which is my favorite work.
That's not what I was thinking of.
The one I'm thinking of is all steel.
An all-steel one.
Yeah, what's that steel thing that the frogs use?
Oh, that's that expensive kettle thing, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Look it up.
Now we got it.
I don't know what it's called, but I think it's.
This is not exactly a helpful news show.
My point is just that's probably the most efficient way to have one cup of coffee.
It's a mocha pot.
Those, I think, are fucking expensive.
These things.
Yeah, those.
Those are expensive, I believe.
We have a big one of those and a small one of those.
But we have this stupid Nespresso at home, and I hate it.
I hate it.
The more money we get, the shittier everything becomes.
We have like state-of-the-art fucking dishwasher that takes two and a half hours to do the dishes.
I'll just do them, thanks.
The fucking laundry machine.
Well, it doesn't take forever, but I just bring it to the Asians.
It's much more efficient.
Dollar a pound.
And then this Nespresso, I put in the little pod, right?
It takes forever.
And then I get, I'm not exaggerating, this much coffee is at the bottom of my mug.
So now I have to boil water to dilute it into an Americano or whatever.
Oh, my God.
It's like, can I just have the fucking Walmart coffee, please?
I wanted the Nespresso, but it was out of my price range, so we did this era.
Well, you're lucky.
Yeah, because you have to cleanse the business poor as you.
Don't you have to clean the tubes?
Yeah, yeah.
After a while, they just fucking give up on life.
Yeah.
I saw this woman trying to clean the tubes.
They're mad actually talking about it.
I can feel rage.
Understandably so.
I think we're done with the Purple Works for the record there.
Oh, yes.
Remember that fucking loser from Queens?
Archie Bunker's old neighborhood is all Indian now.
Drabuti.
Oh, the way Glenn Miller played, buddy.
Bollywood that made the hit, parade.
Oh, my gosh, we had it made.
Those were the days, you fucking fuck-faced cunt bastard.
Bloody.
Fuck you, bloody day.
Those were the bloody days.
And fuck you, bloody fuck.
Fuck you, bloody bloody fuck.
Guys were guys and Pierre Lurkeys were Peari Lurkeys.
Maybe you could TikTok valley janta once again.
Maybe we could do with the likes of Nusrat Fata Ali Khan again.
Elephant had elephants.
By the way, Nusrut Fata Ali Khan played.
Snakes were charms and carpets were road.
Gods were elephants and kids were blue.
Those were the days, my friend.
Anyway, so he's oppressed, even though if you live in Queens and you're Indian, it's like fucking being Polish and living in Greenpoint.
You're doing okay.
Know how much people are willing.
Stop.
So he cheated and he goes, all right, white people, if you shoot at their feet and say you're racist, they dance.
So I'm going to grab a gun and shoot at their feet.
So he shot at our feet and he said, you have a guy going like this on the shows.
So that guy freaked out.
He quit his job.
He stopped doing the voice of Apu.
I think they got an Indian now.
I don't fucking know.
So stupid.
Apu is a hero in the show, by the way.
He's one of the only non-retards in that show.
Look at the fucking white chief of police.
Look at the white male Homer Simpson.
They all have IQ's below down syndrome.
But no, Apu has a stereotypical job, 7-Eleven.
Ergo, he's a great example of racism.
So this guy, just like Kale Hartman's ex, that chick, Beth Stelling, who raped her way, domestically abused her way into comedy by saying Kale raped her.
She's self-cast and couched.
Yeah.
And you go, okay, so comedy's racist, right?
That's the impetus for all this cheating.
And you go, well, when you get in through the, when you break through the glass ceiling of prejudice, I assume you're going to just take off and be incredibly successful.
So let's check in on Harry Kondabolu.
Condabalu.
It's worse than he got replaced.
Kondabolu.
Harry Kondabolu.
He didn't even get replaced.
They just haven't wrote him any new dialogue.
So you kill the poo.
Way to go.
You fucking asshole.
And then they had the black guy replace the black guy, which I don't know how that's going.
All right, great.
Congratulations.
So Hari cheated and got into comedy by whining about something that he was not remotely offended by, and no one else was at all, by the way.
Let's check in on him and see how he's doing in the world of comedy.
Willing to concede to save the planet.
Like recently there was a story about sun chips, right?
Sun chips had biodegradable bags.
Amazing stuff.
Corporate responsibility.
This is a thing with people who pretend to care about the environment.
They worry about garbage.
Okay, I understand if we're talking about it in the nation's rivers and oceans.
That's not us.
We're responsible for maybe 1 or 2% of the plastic floating around in the sea.
That's all Southeast Asia.
That's all your people, basically.
So I'm not apologizing for that.
The second thing, and I've said this a million times, people who pretend to care about environmentalism, garbage is not bad for the environment.
I don't give a fuck if a bag takes 400 years to biodegrade.
It's just, so does a rock.
It came from the ground, it's back in the ground.
Landfills are great for the environment.
If you take a dishwasher and you push it off a canoe in the middle of a lake, it's just a house for fish.
It's not bad.
And every day they have Earth Day up in Westchester.
Every day, every year.
And these people go, I want to save the environment.
So what do they do?
They walk around with contractor bags.
So they're purchasing more plastic, by the way.
These are the people who want to stop oil.
That's what a contractor bag is.
And then they go and pick up like one bag of chips because Westchester is so overfunded With tax, that there's already 600 people working in the park doing maintenance, picking up garbage.
So they pick up a bag of chips, put it in a contractor bag.
There, I saved the environment.
Why?
Like, you should be forced to prove your logic when you say we need biodegradability.
What's the matter with plastic straws?
Oh, they get caught in a turtle's nose.
Not my plastic straws.
Longpak Dax plastic straws.
What was the word we realized sounded like a Cambodian name last night?
I forgot.
It was good, though.
Okay, so let's hear his.
And the reason I interrupt this bit is because I've noticed low-IQ comedians, they start with these premises and they don't know what they're doing.
Like we discussed the other day, the whole immigrants are doing jobs Americans won't do.
They're at like day one of the argument.
And I've been there too when I was 18.
I used to say that.
I used to say, we're a nation of immigrants.
I used to say we need biodegradable things.
I used to believe in recycling when I was 17.
And then I looked into it.
Responsibility.
It shows that they want to save the planet.
Fantastic.
But then people started complaining that the bags were too noisy.
So then they got rid of the biodegradable bags.
Do you know what else makes a lot of noise?
The end of the world.
What the hell is wrong with everybody?
Look at the size of that stadium.
That venue.
No, how much.
I hate to say it, but this is an old clip.
They posted this seven weeks ago.
They're just drudging his old material up.
Well, that's the other point.
These are his slam dunks.
This is post-Apu.
No one had heard of him before, Apoo.
But these are his slam dunks.
Like you're seeing his Mitch Hedberg donut receipt.
This isn't a random thing.
I didn't go searching for his worst joke.
That's his best joke.
That's his recent viral hit.
It looks like he's got a lot of donut receipts at his house.
This fucking, in another one of these, oh God, I have a kid.
Boy, babe, my baby.
Do they all have to do this?
Natasha Leggero, this guy.
I mean, is there anybody happily...
You're not a parent if you have one kid.
One is for losers.
Two is for fags.
Three is a bare minimum.
I don't like how I'd rather be a loser than a fag, but here I am with two kids.
So I guess...
That sucks worse.
How is that good, though?
Well, just get a third one and we can talk.
This is a weird and annoying thing that I don't like.
Mark Norman's doing his thing, and something weird goes on stage, and I'm like, this is either a terrorist attack and someone threatened to blow up the place, which is bad, or it's some dumb prank that's just wasting everyone's time and stressing everyone out on their night off.
They pay for tickets.
Look, check, have you seen this yet?
This was big yesterday.
I had the same exact theory, too.
Mom talking to you.
Oh, talking to the world.
Have you seen this, Funks?
Okay.
All right.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh, Jeeves.
Hey, how are you?
What do we got?
My friends here.
Hey, what's going on?
Oh, geez.
Everything all right?
Just want to make sure everybody's good here?
What's going on?
This is the state of performance art and pranks.
Anything can happen in a comedy show?
That was some kind of weird swinger sex party thing.
Oh, boy.
Oh, wait, wait, huh.
I really froze there.
I went to Mitch McConnell.
All right.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, okay.
What the fuck?
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Something's going on.
Okay.
Now, if this next woman is acting, she's a good actor.
She's pretending to be terrible.
Guys, everything's going.
We just had a momentary interruption.
Just say, get up, get out.
The taping.
Can we get out or what?
Hot the camera.
Yeah, I'm one of the producers.
Have you noticed women and their cell phones are an appendage now?
That's a short people.
I'm sure people have gestures.
All right, so Ryan has his ear to the ground on the millennial comedy scene.
What the fuck was that?
Yeah, so there's this guy who on the on Twitter.
He goes around and provides context for clips and stuff like that.
That's all he does.
He's like a human community notes.
And he left us with this ear.
Is he black?
I believe so.
I have trouble seeing him.
Keithy.
Hello.
I try to examine viral videos for voodoo.
This is performance voodoo.
Zero voodoo detected in this clip, but thanks for looking out.
Dude, at my gym, there's a guy from Africa, like an actual African immigrant guy.
Yeah, I know what that means, guy from Africa.
You don't have to.
What do you think I might misinterpret?
Oh, you mean like a black guy from Brooklyn?
Oh, good.
Mr. Clarity over here.
Good.
You know, Jay-Z, that guy from Africa.
Comedy.
And then there's a guy who's just a regular black guy.
One of them is named Mike and the other one is named Kamdahir.
Guess which one has, The guy from Africa's name is Mike.
Isn't that funny?
One's trying to be more American, the other's trying to be more fucking.
I saw a guy today on the street.
This is going to sound prejudiced.
And he had that Muslim dress thing where the shirt goes to your ankles.
And I pussied out, but I just felt like going, get some fucking pants.
Why?
But there's logic behind it.
You go to Luton, you go to Birmingham, and you see nothing but those shirts.
I want to nip it in the bud.
If it was just a one-off and it was like a Scottish guy wearing a kilt, you know, at a wedding, obviously no one gives a shit.
But it's indicative of a pattern, and that is a total takeover.
So the second you see them comfortable in those dumb shirts, and those were invented because the desert gets hot.
Lahore, Pakistan is toasty.
So you want to be able to have your balls breathe.
He's freezing.
So he's got the dumb hot dress on and then like a parka and a hat and like woolly fucking socks.
It's depressing.
It's not our greatest strength.
So yeah, he says that the incident began with a man jumping and loaf.
Norman later posts on Instagram clarifying that no one was harmed and the disruption was a planned surprise by the show's producers.
Specifically mentioning the entity called Hi-Hi.
This group, Hi-Hi, seems to be involved in creating viral incidents for online attention, as suggested by their social media activity, related to various things.
And then somewhere in here, it says the venue also confirmed that that was just a little prank.
Performance art should have a point.
What's the point of this?
Wasting our time?
This is New York City.
Joe Coleman used to eat rats on stage.
He would put firecrackers all over his body and light them up.
That's what we're working with here.
That's the base level.
Gig Allen would rub shit all over himself and threaten to kill himself on stage.
The bar is at that stage.
And you just like delay it.
Mark Norman, you want to be controversial?
Have someone get on stage and beat the shit out of you.
Break your nose.
Have blood on the stage.
That's interesting.
Hi-hi, posting footage of them putting the stage rusher into their cars.
That's not interesting at all.
What's that now?
Furries?
Oh, this is a bunch of their...
*music*
What's their deal, man?
They broke a super expensive display case?
Yeah, that was a nothing, though.
Like, nothing happened.
It wasn't.
Go to Drag Queen Story Hour, please.
Go to Drag Queen Story Hour with strap-ons on.
That's interesting.
That has a point.
There's a message there.
Just called Hi-Hi.
Yuck.
But yeah, nothing came of that.
Like, it wasn't.
You know what came of that?
People thinking that there was going to be a shooting in there.
Like, that's literally what I thought.
Right, yeah.
So that's not cool.
Because there are shootings.
Like, this one, no one's talking about this one.
1-5.
You're going to have to skip one.
This guy, part of our diversity of strength here, he released this retard manifesto.
It's just like a bunch of motherhood statements.
Like, inflation's out of control, pollution.
He doesn't like the terrorism and what he calls terrorism in Gaza.
The rest of the video addresses a disjointed series of topics, including corruption, inflation, immigration, the cost of housing, the wokeism disease, and the genocide that's going on in Gaza and throughout the world.
Okay, so you don't like a bunch of stuff that everyone doesn't like.
Do you think this is going to get the politicians to get on it?
He comes in.
He is a security guard.
He's like from Azerbaijan or some shit.
So he's shooting.
I don't think anyone was hurt.
And then he takes off that outfit and then puts on a different one.
This was the same day that Tucker was giving a talk.
Go to 1.6, though.
He's got an annoying immigrant name.
I like it.
Just call yourself Mike.
Yeah, Besani Sarvar.
Of course, it's Canadian media.
So getting his ethnicity and his motive takes 142 paragraphs.
This is why people go to Twitter for news, and this is why the digital media is tanking hard.
Taylor Lorenz put up a post about how everyone's getting fired.
Yeah, because you suck.
Look, go to this opening paragraph.
I bet it'll reek.
The man accused of firing a rifle and lobbying firebombs in Edmonton made his first court appearance Thursday.
Bazani Sarvar was briefly in the Alberta Court of Justice.
He wore orange black, blah, blah, blah.
Good morning, you're all so he was nice.
Where's he from?
Oh, he's a Canadian national.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Where's he from?
Keep going.
Savar is facing six charges, two days city hall attack, blah, blah, blah.
Edmonton police, the Canadian court of blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Savar appears to be the same man in manifesto video.
Yeah, we know that's a given.
The video titled Rise Up shows a man in the driver's seat of the car, blah, blah, blah.
No information.
The rest of the video.
This is all stuff that I knew by looking at the video.
I just read that one.
Keep going down.
The rest, Abraham said he has spoken with Sarvar for all the 10 minutes.
He's not yet been formally designated as legal counsel.
Court records.
I like how the legal counsel is also an immigrant.
Are there any Canadians left in that country?
Court records show Sarvar lived in a Clearviewer apartment.
No information, no information, no information, no information.
Look up his last name.
What is that?
Of course, you've got to go to Twitter for all this information.
You don't get anything from the news ever.
I keep using this example, that stabbing in Ireland, where they go, Irish national involved in knife attack.
What does that mean?
And then you look it up on Twitter.
Oh, he stabbed a little kid.
And what are we at?
French surname?
No.
Service of English.
So no farther ahead.
I guess it's my job to be telling you that.
So I thought that was interesting that it happened these very same evening that a dude was, that Tucker Carlson was doing a talk there.
I had a friend, by the way, family friend, go, hey, hey, Gavin, we got tickets to see Tucker tonight in, sorry, tomorrow night at Edmonton if you want to grab a last-minute flight.
What?
I'm going to fly, I'm going to spend $700 to fly 10 hours.
There's no direct flights to go see Tucker, who I've had dinner with a million times.
And then I realized that, oh, you wanted me to introduce you because some rich guy got you the tickets and you thought that might be an inn.
No.
But anyway, so I think that's why he did it.
He thought, Edmonton had all eyes are on Edmonton today.
I'm going to use this to gripe about inflation.
You saw that Tucker made a call to Trudeau's office.
Yes, yes.
So Tucker's talk was brilliant, though.
He talked about medically assisted death.
And he goes, isn't it funny how They're pushing that on Canadian citizens and not so much on immigrants.
If you're killing 50,000 of your citizens, and the government's doing that with medically assisted death, I call it mad.
And a lot of them are not actually terminally ill, they're just sad.
The government is encouraging just Canadians, basically.
Click on that.
It's kind of long, but we'll see.
The citizens of the government is doing that through the MAID program.
And a lot of them are not actually terminally ill, they're just sad.
And the government is encouraging them to submit to being killed by the government.
And then we'll release the recent statistics.
Like, what is that?
What is that?
Yep, that's exactly what it is.
It's killing large groups of people.
And who are those people that will kill them?
The government hasn't reached a statue.
What percentage of those are born in Canada?
I bet right around 100%.
So if your government with a duty to your citizens, people who are from here, people whose ancestors built the place, not exclusively to them, but from marriage to them, to your citizens.
Like, why else do you exist except to serve your citizens?
And if you're targeting your citizens, how many people who arrived in Canada in the last 10 years have opted into the main program?
I don't know the answer.
I've been around zero.
Because all people are from here.
And now the government brags, oh, we're saving money because they died.
That's the darkest thing I can imagine.
I've had zero conversation about that in this country because I know this country and I know this stuff.
It's too horrible.
No one wants to talk about it.
You should jump talk about it.
But more than anything, you should internalize the message of that, which is they hate me.
They hate me to the point they're willing to kill me, which they are.
And the third thing is, notice the erosion of your most basic civil liberties, not the ones granted to you by the crown, but the ones granted to you by God.
And those would include the freedom of speech.
You get the idea.
I think this guy's going for VP.
But you're never going to be a VP if you're a white male and the P is a white male.
Mark my words.
From now on, you will never see a white, straight male P and VP.
Never again till the sun burns out.
And I think 400 billion years we're going for.
Breaking news.
Apparently, people have sussed out that maybe Donald Glover is going to be a little bit more.
Oh, that's why they did it because a cool black guy said, let's do this.
A guerrilla marketer for Glover's upcoming Amazon series.
What an annoying fuck.
And then hi-hi.
I hate that guy.
I really don't like that guy.
Mediocre comedian, fairly talented, slightly above average.
His career takes off.
He whines about Jon Stewart being racist towards him.
Then he's the genius in that stupid Mars movie where he's up all night scratching his head doing algorithms.
It's so embarrassing.
And now he's bullying fucking ethnomasochistic cucks to ruin their shows for him.
You might have missed it, but in Spider-Man, he played some role where he was like, you know, a wise dude who's just kind of like overt.
He's just like, hey, man, let me tell you something about being Spider-Man.
Because he wanted to be Spider-Man.
And then he never got casted for it.
Because he's.
And that's in what movie?
One of the new...
They're all like the same movie.
But it is a Spider-Man movie.
Like the multiverse or whatever?
Yeah, Donald Glover.
No, no, I don't care.
I don't fucking care.
I'm getting mad.
See, apparently he's behind that.
He's behind the furries at the NBA game and all the other stuff here.
Donald Glover.
Like, you got to understand, post-Jackass, post-Sasha Baron Cohen, post-Brass Eye, if you're going for pranks, you're taking on...
I'm not going to pick up a guitar and start doing prog rock.
I got to learn a lot of solos.
I'm up against fucking Grateful Dead.
I hate those bands, don't get me wrong, but I'm not going to lie.
I'm not going to deny it's hard to play guitar in a prog rock band.
I'm not going to take on Neil Purt.
But you've got, you just canceled a show?
All right.
Way to go.
Turned face.
He's now, they're remaking Mr. and Mrs. Smith because that did need to be remade.
Oh, yeah.
It's about time.
Well, I'm just happy to hear that that blackish guy is redoing It's a Wonderful Life.
Because how many times have you seen It's a Wonderful Life and just seen like Jimmy Cagney or whatever his name is?
Jimmy Stewart, is it?
Yeah, and just been like, why aren't you black?
It's black and white already.
Or Wizard of Oz.
That needs to take place in Compton.
Wizard of Oz has already been blackified.
Yeah.
Did you not notice, did you not see Michael Jackson dancing around as a scarecrow?
Yeah, but he looks white.
Maybe he was a lion.
Oh, this looks good.
I take everything I say back.
Donald Glover, this looks pretty dope.
What the fuck is that?
I don't know anything about his background, but he seems very middle class, raised by a white mom.
He seems very Indiana.
And then just like Jordan Peel, who grew up at hippie schools in Manhattan, where they have an organic garden on the roof, all of a sudden he's like, yo, man.
Even Drake.
He's a Jew from Toronto.
And he's like, yo, man, I love this.
Dave Chappelle's another one.
There's a lot of black wiggers that take themselves too seriously in culture these days.
Like Donald Grant.
Hey, man.
Hey, hi.
And he's all fun and gay and weird.
And now he's like this.
He's like, I don't really want to talk.
Even Eminem.
Eminem started as a goofball guy.
Hey, I'm a slim shady and I like girls.
What the fuck?
And now he's like, yo, man, that guy's a homosexual, man.
I'm a baitass.
Look at this smokey eye fat.
Oh, my God, with his plastic surgery and his beard dyed.
Dude, I feel like everyone's dad and all my kids have let me down.
Shut up with your face, dude.
Actually, that's kind of cool.
You might want to stick with that.
Tim was on to something.
Yeah, look at this.
This is how it started.
Hey, guys.
What's up?
And there's like, hello.
Hello.
I'm wind, but chocolified.
I'm the god of chocolate wind.
I'm father.
Ain't got no time for that.
That might be 60 bucks.
Nice.
I don't count that as a pun.
All right.
Jump medic.
I have so much rage In me, maybe it's because I didn't eat lunch today, but all these things make me so sincerely angry.
You're angry.
I got some chips if you want.
You know what?
I'm just going to add one more just to really piss me off.
Dude, 1-7.
I don't know if I showed this already, but you know how I feel about bike races.
I could give less of a shit about a bicycle marathon, but I respect my fellow human being.
And I know these guys trained for this for weeks.
And then some fucking moron doesn't get the basics of crossing the road.
What are you?
A chicken and a joke?
Take him out.
What the fuck are you doing?
You should be coming.
Ah, fuck you.
The guy goes like this.
Ah, fuck at you.
He should have just, you're obviously in great shape.
You have great cardio, which is one of the hardest parts of fighting, is not getting gassed out.
Annihilate him!
You got the gloves on, probably with the knuckle things and everything.
You got a helmet on.
It's not going to knock you out.
Go fucking break all his ribs.
Look at that.
Did you just go Scottish in anger?
In everything.
That's ironic.
Go Scottish in anger.
Don't you wait.
So you got your bike falling down on the ground.
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I don't need a JumpMedic bag, you say.
Yeah, you don't need it till you need it.
It's like when people say with dogs, they go, oh no, he's fine.
He never bites.
Yeah, every dog bite that's at the ER has the owner going, I don't know what's going on.
He's never done that before.
Yeah, of course he's never done that before.
If he'd ever done that before, he wouldn't be your dog.
They would have put him down.
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So have it in your RV.
Have it in your SUV.
Have it in your boot.
Dries a bone.
I told my daughter when she was like four, the way you know if a plant needs watering is you just stick your finger in the dirt.
And if it's dry, we better get water fast.
If it feels moist, don't water it.
You're overwatering it.
And I just, when she was like four, she puts her finger in and she just walks away going, draws a bone.
Now, this was, what, 13 years ago?
And now every time I'm watering the plants, I'm like, draws a bone.
Last night, my daughter wakes up, so I go in there to like lay down with her.
So she falls back to sleep and she's like up and wired.
And I'm like, oh, shit.
And I'm not.
I'd like to sleep.
And then she sits up and she starts rubbing my chest.
And she's like, I give you a gassage.
Like a mommy gave you a gassage.
I was like, thank you.
She speaks Japanese.
Gassage.
I give a good gassage.
So we're bitching about immigration.
We're saying it's ruined in Canada and it links to that euthanasia.
Not youth in Asia, but the euthanasia going on in Canada where they're just murdering everyone who's having a bad day and replacing them with immigrants who have already experienced bad days and I hope are happy to be there.
Although, judging by the shoot-'em-out on the, whenever it was, the 24th, some of them are not happy there.
I have a new pet peeve, and it's e-bikes.
They just, they are the four horsemen of the apocalypse combined.
Oh, here we go.
They're starting fires in these apartment buildings where there's like 10 of them per room.
They're not licensed.
They're smashing into people.
They don't have lights on.
They don't seem to have any self-worth.
They don't seem to care whether they live or die.
My eyeballs in New York City see about half Asian and half of them are Hispanic.
They're all new immigrants.
And I don't like people ordering food.
The prices are insane.
You get a fucking seven wings for $25 and you leave a $5 tip.
You're paying $30 for, you're paying $4 a wing.
$3 a wing.
And it just, it's the death of a city.
City culture is going out.
It's going to the market, getting a tomato.
It's going out for dinner.
It's walking around.
Even at lunch at work, you go walk down to the bodega, you go walkie, clear your head for a second, get away from screens.
This ordering Uber Eats and getting it at your desk.
Or 7 o'clock in New York City, Manhattan, is nothing but these assholes with the hand coverings on their bikes.
Go to my Twitter and you can see them.
It was in a post recently.
You look in their eyes, you see no soul.
And they dominate the streets.
It's de Blasio's fault.
De Blasio said it worked in Amsterdam.
I talked about this the other day.
And I don't believe him that it worked in Amsterdam.
And I told you that when I was in Paris, it's just nothing but delivery bikes.
And it's not just the delivery men I hate.
It's the people who order them.
Get off your fucking ass, you fat piece of shit.
These guys are fucking everywhere.
They're cold because they're not riding their bicycles.
Now, as people point out that I was a bike messenger.
Yeah, I was a bike messenger.
We were not ubiquitous.
We were in the financial district.
And because it was manual, it just, it was less invasive.
We had our little packages.
We delivered them to business.
We were helping business.
It symbolized business going well.
This symbolizes people sitting on their fucking ass.
Boy, I'm a grump today.
Oh, we should get behind the paywall soon.
I got a kind of a, I know what I'll do.
I'll drop a scoop and then I won't give you the evidence.
So a lot of back and forth about Patriot Front.
They were in Manhattan recently marching around in their khakis.
The go-to from the right is they're feds.
And that helps our narrative because we're told there's racists everywhere and they inject racism into proud boys and say, oh, the club's white supremacist.
But they're black and gay and Hispanic.
Yeah, it's called multiracial white supremacy.
So they look like fools and it's fun.
And we don't want to give them any ground.
And to admit that Patriot Front are white supremacists and they're not all feds hurts us.
But the truth shall set, fuck, what's up with my voice today?
The truth shall set you free.
She sells seashells by the seashore.
And I have some intel that implies they are real.
And I'm going to get to that behind the paywall.
But we're going behind the paywall now.
40 minutes.
I got to do an interview with Ann Coulter after this, so we got to wrap it up in another 40 minutes.
I think hour 20 is a sweet spot for this show.
We do a show every single day.
I have reruns of my old show on the weekends.
We have AIU, who does deep dives on all kinds of myths like the burning down of Black Wall Street, Emmett Till, all of these things we just accept as a fact in our society.
Matthew Shepard was murdered because he was gay.
And AIU is amazing at exposing how pretty much every terrible thing we hear about America is untrue.
It's wrong.
There's the archives.
You've got Candace Owen and Cornell West.
We have more content than you can shake a stick at per day.
In fact, if you were to watch everything that we put out every day, I would say get a life.
So you have to pick and choose.
You find your shows.
We've got Anthony Cumia on Wednesdays.
That's live.
That's live.
We've got to figure out how to take calls.
Maybe we'll do Monday shows at night and take calls like 9 to 11 or something.
I'll deny it.
Then I got to do training on Tuesday, though.
We'll figure it out.
It's always changing.
It's never predictable.
And now we're going to get into some heavy shit secrets that you're not supposed to know, but you can't know them because you're a cheap ass.
Oh, look, it's Mercedes calling from jail.
You don't get to hear that either.
Mercedes Herrera.
An incarcerated individual at Denver Merdino County Sheriff's Department.
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