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Jan. 26, 2024 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
42:27
S5E46 - YOU'RE MAKING ME ANGRY (FREE PART)

In this particularly grumpy episode, Gavin attacks delivery men, Ryan’s cookie receipt, Hari Kondabolu, Bezhani Sarvar, Justin Trudeau, Patriot Front, Joe Biden, Jon Stewart, and modern America.

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Time Text
*BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *GASP* No, I don't know.
I'm just gonna keep on playing.
Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes!
*BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM*
Nice work, kids.
Still sick?
That's Free Refills.
The song is Libra from the album I Forget.
I do forget.
I forget what it's called.
What's it called?
It should be there on the link.
Free Refills.
The song is Libra.
The album, if you zoom out, we can see what the album's called.
Raw Steak Black Coffee.
Raw Steak Black Coffee.
Great album.
Two kids from the Sacramento Bay Area, Carter Mullen and Liz.
She just wants to be known as Liz.
Two people also included in the Electronic Duo Gem Index.
They sometimes distribute music under the alternate alias Snot Rocket, R-O-K-K-I-T, taking cues from noise rock acts of the early aughts.
Huh.
Who would that be?
What?
Who are some Noah's Rock from the early aughts?
Oh, what were they called?
Explosions in the sky.
They had a cassette deck for on their album cover, Penis Balls.
Penis Balls, never heard of them.
No, that's not the name.
Gotcha.
Not the name.
I was up late last night.
I was so happy with last night's show that I had a little one man party that included dancing.
I should give dance lessons to young men.
There's that video, it's lost in time now, but it was in, I think you were in California after the Berkeley and Coulter thing.
Bedroom, electric, electric bedroom.
Sorry, keep going.
Yeah, and you were dancing in a bar, and it was like a bunch of different moves that were all good.
Yep, great moves.
And where's that vid?
Was that Berkeley?
Can you confirm that memory there?
Dancing in a bar?
Yeah.
I don't know.
Today's episode is brought to you by Purplework.
So that was a long way of saying I didn't go to the gym today.
I woke up at like 11.
It's hard to do a night show and then wake up and get to work the next day.
And go to the gym and fight, I should say.
But so I'm usually on Purple Works while I discuss Purple Works.
I'm not on Purple Works today.
Maybe you'll notice that it'll be a shitty show and you'll go, man, that guy really needs his Purple Works nutrition.
It's January 26, according to this.
Yep.
And you know what that means?
Millions of people who went to the gym one or two times are sinking back into their couch, eating Cheetos, watching Netflix.
and completely forgetting about their New Year's resolution to get fit.
I can picture in my head, and it's not only disgusting, but very disrespectful.
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These little pricklies you get in your hands.
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Last batch of the original recipe, excuse me.
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We gotta start employing our coffee machine, bro.
I would love that.
We're walking all the way down to that fucking bodega for a $2 coffee.
He's stupid.
I've been doing coffee at home.
I got like a gooseneck pot so you heat it up on the stove and you put on the... You ever hear of this thing?
It's a Frisbee inventor wanted to come up with a coffee maker that makes a single serving of coffee.
It's called the AeroPress.
We already have the French Press.
The AeroPress is instant.
What do you mean instant?
It's instant and it only does, it only does like one cup of coffee.
Do you know what a French press is?
Yeah.
It's one thing, you put the coffee in, you put in one coffee amount of water, it bubbles through the thing, it's instant.
Is it instant?
So you don't know what a French press is?
This is the AeroPress.
So that's what you got.
That's what I got.
Boy, you love spending money when times are tough.
This is one of the cheapest, I bought this a long time ago, and this is one of the cheapest, I think it's like $16.
And it lasts forever.
It's very durable.
So it's half the price of your cookies last night.
And it's portable.
That's correct.
I have that same pot.
That looks like way more work than, pull up a one coffee French press.
That looks like ten times the work.
Um, by the way, yesterday, what did you say about those cookies?
You said you need a receipt?
No.
Yeah, you said you gotta have receipts.
No, I said to stop and frisk.
You should, cops should be able to, in New York City, they enforce... No, no, no, this was about the cookies.
I was talking about your receipt, and you said, yeah, you gotta have receipts.
I don't remember that.
Well, definitely the context was not... Someone wrote in and pointed out that's a Mitch Hedberg bit.
Will you get your fucking hair out of your eyes, you 14-year-old kiddo?
I am going to get a haircut probably this weekend.
Well, get that out of your eyes for now.
You look like you're a 13-year-old in a band.
What's wrong with that?
That's embarrassing.
I'm actually, my band is going to California.
We're playing a couple of shows in California.
Cool.
You know where one of the gigs is?
Where?
The place where the Punch Holocaust happened.
With my broken ribs and all that, and the me and Carl fight.
Oh yeah, that weird spot in the strip mall.
The end.
The end, yes.
So Josh hooked us up with that.
Here's the French press.
It's my favorite work.
That's not what I was thinking of.
The one I'm thinking of is all steel.
An all steel one.
Yeah, what's that steel thing that the frogs use?
Oh, that's a, that expensive kettle thing, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Look it up.
I don't know what it's called, but I think it's Italian.
This is not exactly a helpful news show.
My point is just that's probably the most efficient way to have one cup of coffee.
It's a mocha pot.
Those, I think, are fucking expensive.
Yeah, those.
Those are expensive, I believe.
We have a big one of those and a small one of those.
But we have this stupid Nespresso at home, and I hate it.
I hate it.
The more money we get, the shittier everything becomes.
We have, like, state-of-the-art fucking dishwasher that takes two and a half hours to do the dishes.
I'll just do them, thanks.
Fucking laundry machine.
Well, it doesn't take forever, but I just bring it to the Asians.
It's much more efficient.
Dollar a pound.
And then this Nespresso, I put in the little pod, right?
It takes forever.
And then I get, I'm not exaggerating, this much coffee's at the bottom of my mug.
So now I have to boil water to dilute it into an Americano or whatever.
Oh my god.
It's like, can I just have the fucking Walmart coffee, please?
I wanted the Nespresso, but it was out of my price range, so we did this arrow.
Well, you're lucky.
Yeah, because you have to clean the tubes.
I wish I wasn't as poor as you.
Don't you have to clean the tubes?
Yeah, yeah, they don't, after a while they just fucking give up on life.
Yeah.
I saw this woman trying to clean up.
I'm getting mad actually talking about it.
I can feel rage.
Understandably so.
I think we're done with the Purple Works for the record there.
Oh yes.
Remember that fucking loser from Queens?
Archie Bunker's old neighborhood is all Indian now.
Triputti.
Oh, the way Glenn Miller played, buddy.
Bollywood, it made the hit parade.
Oh my gosh, we had it made.
Those were the days, you fucking fuck-faced cunt-bastard.
Bloody!
Fuck you, bloody!
Those were the bloody days.
Fuck you, bloody!
Fuck your bloody body, fuck.
Guys were guys and peyote larkies were peyote larkies.
Maybe you could tic-toc Valley Janta once again.
Maybe we could do with the likes of Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan again.
Elephant had eight arms and legs.
Boy, the way Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan played.
Snakes were charms and carpets were road.
Gods were elephants and kids were blue.
Those were the days, my friend.
Anyway, so he's oppressed, even though if you live in Queens and you're Indian, it's like fucking being Polish and living in Greenpoint.
You're doing okay.
Stop.
Stop.
So he cheated and he goes, all right, white people, if you shoot at their feet and say you're racist, they dance.
So I'm going to grab a gun and shoot at their feet.
So he shot at our feet and he said, you have a guy going like this on the shores.
So that guy freaked out.
He quit his job.
He stopped doing the voice of Apu.
I think they got an Indian now.
I don't fucking know.
So stupid.
Apu is a hero in the show, by the way.
He's one of the only non-retards in that show.
Look at the fucking white chief of police.
Look at the white male Homer Simpson.
They all have IQs below down syndrome.
But no, Apu has a stereotypical job, 7-Eleven.
Ergo, He's a great example of racism.
So this guy, just like Cale Hartman's ex, that chick.
Beth Stelling.
Who raped her way, domestically abused her way into comedy by saying Cale raped her.
She's self-cast and couched.
Yeah.
And you go, OK, so comedy's racist, right?
That's the impetus for all this cheating.
And you go, well, when you get in, when you break through the glass ceiling of prejudice, I assume you're going to just take off and be incredibly successful.
So let's check in on Harry Kondabolu.
Kondabalu.
It's worse than he got replaced.
Kondabolu.
Harry Kondabolu.
He didn't even get replaced.
They just haven't wrote him any new dialogue.
So you killed Apu.
Way to go!
You fucking asshole.
And then they had the black guy replace the black guy.
Which, I don't know how that's going.
Alright, great.
Congratulations.
So, Hari cheated and got into comedy by whining about something that he was not remotely offended by, and no one else was at all, by the way.
Let's check in on him and see how he's doing in the world of comedy.
Like, recently there was a story about SunChips, right?
SunChips had biodegradable bags.
Amazing!
Stop.
Corporate responsibility.
This is a thing with people who pretend to care about the environment.
They worry about garbage.
Okay, I understand if we're talking about it in the nation's rivers and oceans.
That's not us.
We're responsible for maybe one or two percent of the plastic floating around in the sea.
That's all Southeast Asia.
That's all your people, basically.
So, I'm not apologizing for that.
The second thing, and I've said this a million times, people who pretend to care about environmentalism, garbage is not bad for the environment.
I don't give a fuck if a bag takes 400 years to biodegrade.
It's just, so does a rock.
It came from the ground, it's back in the ground.
Landfills are great for the environment.
If you take a dishwasher and you push it off a canoe in the middle of a lake, it's just a house for fish.
It's not bad.
And every day they have Earth Day up in Westchester.
Every day, every year.
And these people go, I want to save the environment.
So what do they do?
They walk around with contractor bags.
So they're purchasing more plastic, by the way.
These are the people who want to stop oil.
That's what a contractor bag is.
And then they go and pick up, like, one bag of chips.
Because Westchester is so overfunded with tax that there's already 600 people working in the park doing maintenance, picking up garbage.
So they pick up a bag of chips, put it in a contractor bag.
There, I saved the environment.
Why?
Like, you should be forced to prove your logic when you say, we need biodegradability.
What's the matter with plastic straws?
Oh, they get caught in a turtle's nose.
Not my plastic straws.
Long Pakdaks plastic straws.
What was the word we realized sounded like a Cambodian name last night?
I forgot it was good though.
Okay, so let's hear his.
And the reason I interrupt this bit is because I've noticed low IQ comedians, they start with these premises and they don't know what they're doing.
Like we just discussed the other day, the whole immigrants are doing jobs Americans won't do.
They're at like day one of the argument.
And I've been there too when I was 18.
I used to say that.
I used to say we're a nation of immigrants.
I used to say we need biodegradable things.
I used to believe in recycling when I was 17.
And then I looked into it.
Responsibility.
It shows that they want to save the planet.
Fantastic.
But then people started complaining that the bags were too noisy.
So then, they got rid of the biodegradable bags.
Do you know what else makes a lot of noise?
The end of the world!
What the hell is wrong with everybody?
Look at the size of that stadium.
That venue.
I hate to say it, but this is an old clip.
They posted this seven weeks ago.
They're just drudging his old material up.
Well, that's the other point.
These are his slam dunks.
This is post-Apoo.
No one had heard of him before, Apoo.
But these are his slam dunks.
Like you're seeing his Mitch Hedberg donut receipt.
This isn't a random thing.
I didn't go searching for his worst joke.
That's his best joke.
That's his recent viral hit.
It looks like he's got a lot of donut receipts at his house.
This fucking, and another one of these, oh god I have a kid, save me.
Oy vey, my baby!
Do they all have to do this?
Natasha Leggero, this guy, I mean is there anybody happily?
Well comedians are all megalomaniacs and everyone with their first kid thinks that they've changed the world and they're their parents.
You're not a parent if you have one kid.
One is for losers, two is for fags, three is a bare minimum.
I don't like how, I'd rather be a loser than a fag, but here I am with two kids.
So I guess.
You're a fag.
That sucks worse.
How is that good though?
Well, just get a third one and we can, we can talk.
This is a weird and annoying thing that I don't like.
Mark Norman's doing his thing.
And, uh, something weird goes on stage and I'm like, this is either a terrorist attack and someone threatened to blow up the place, which is bad.
Or it's some dumb prank that's just wasting everyone's time and stressing everyone out on their night off.
They pay for tickets.
Have you seen this yet?
This was big yesterday.
I had the same exact theory, too.
I'm not talking to you.
I'm talking to the world.
Have you seen this, folks?
OK.
All right.
Uh-oh.
Oh, jeez.
Hey, how are you?
What, have we got a migrant here?
Hey, what's going on?
Oh, jeez.
Everything all right?
Just want to make sure everybody's good here.
This is the state of performance art and pranks.
Hey, anything can happen to a comedy show.
That was some kind of weird swinger sex party thing.
Oh, boy.
I really froze there.
I went to Mitch McConnell.
All right.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Okay.
What the fuck?
Oh, my God.
Something's on there. - Okay.
Now if this next woman is acting, she's a good actor.
She's pretending to be terr- uh, scared.
I can see your mouse.
- We just had a momentary-- - I can see your mouse.
- Interruption.
Just stay, get up, just get out the taping.
- Can we get out or what?
- Cut the camera.
- Yeah, I'm one of the producers-- - Have you noticed women and their cell phones are at appendage now?
- Everybody, take it out, please.
- Mark, can I get back?
- That's how short people talk.
- I know, everything's fine, but-- Short people have gestures.
Alright, so Ryan has his ear to the ground on the millennial comedy scene What the fuck was that?
Uh, yeah.
So there's this, uh, guy who, on the, uh, on Twitter, he, uh, goes around and provides context for clips and stuff like that.
That's all he does.
He's like a human, uh, community notes.
And, uh, he left us with this ear.
Is he black?
I believe so.
I have trouble seeing him.
Tiffy.
Hello.
I try to examine viral videos for voodoo.
This is performance voodoo.
Zero voodoo detected in this clip, but thanks for looking out.
Dude, at my gym, there's a guy from Africa, like an actual African immigrant guy.
Yeah, I know what that means, guy from Africa.
You don't have to... What do you think I might misinterpret?
Well, you mean like a black guy from Brooklyn?
Oh, good.
Mr. Clarity over here.
Good.
You know, Jay-Z, that guy from Africa.
Wow.
Comedy!
And then there's a guy, just a regular black guy, one of them is named Mike, and the other one is named Kamdahir.
Guess which one has, I'll give you a hint, the guy from Africa's name is Mike.
Isn't that funny?
One's trying to be more American, the other's trying to be more fuckin', I saw a guy today on the street, this is gonna sound prejudiced, and he had those, that Muslim dress thing where the shirt goes to your ankles, And I pussied out, but I just felt like going, get some fucking pants.
Why?
But there's a logic behind it.
You go to Luton, you go to Birmingham, and you see nothing but those shirts.
I want to nip it in the bud.
If it was just a one-off and it was like a Scottish guy wearing a kilt at a wedding, obviously no one gives a shit.
But it's indicative of a pattern, and that is a total takeover.
So the second you see them comfortable in those dumb shirts, and those were invented because the desert gets hot.
Lahore, Pakistan is toasty, so you want to be able to have your balls breathe.
He's freezing.
So he's got the dumb hot dress on and then like a parka and a hat and like woolly fucking socks and... Ugh.
Surprising.
It's not our greatest strength.
So yeah, he says that the incident began with a man jumping in the lava.
Norman later posts on Instagram clarifying that no one was harmed and the disruption was a planned surprise by the show's producers.
Specifically mentioning the entity called HiHi.
This group HiHi seems to be involved in creating viral incidents for online attention as suggested by their social media activity related to various things.
And then the somewhere in here it says the venue also confirmed that that was just a little prank.
But Performance Arts should have a point.
What's the point of this?
Wasting our time?
This is New York City.
Joe Coleman used to eat rats on stage.
He would put firecrackers all over his body and light them up.
That's what we're working with here.
That's the base level.
Gigi Allen would rub shit all over himself and threaten to kill himself on stage.
The bar is at that stage.
And you just like delay it.
Mark Norman, you want to be controversial?
Have someone get on stage and beat the shit out of you.
Break your nose.
Have blood on the stage.
That's interesting.
HiHi posting footage of them putting the stage rusher into their cars.
That's not interesting.
At all.
What's that now?
Furries?
Oh, this is a bunch of their... Oh, they broke a thing?
What's their deal, man?
They broke a super expensive display case?
Yeah, that was a nothing, though.
Like, nothing happened.
It wasn't... Go to Drag Queen Story Hour, please!
Go to Drag Queen Story Hour with strap-ons on.
That's interesting.
That has a point.
There's a message there.
Yuck!
Yeah, nothing came of that.
Like, it wasn't... You know what came of that?
People thinking that there was gonna be a shooting in there.
Like, that's literally what I thought.
Right, yeah.
So that's not cool.
Because there are shootings.
Like this one, no one's talking about this one, 1-5.
You have to skip one.
This guy, part of our diversity of strength here, He released this retard manifesto that's just like a bunch of motherhood statements, like inflation's out of control, pollution.
He doesn't like the terrorism and what he calls terrorism in Gaza.
The rest of the video addressed a disjointed series of topics including corruption, inflation, immigration, the cost of housing, the wokeism disease, and the genocide that's going on in Gaza and throughout the world.
Okay, so you don't like a bunch of stuff that everyone doesn't like.
Do you think this is going to get the politicians to get on it?
He comes in.
He is a security guard.
He's like from Azerbaijan or some shit.
So he's shooting.
I don't think anyone was hurt.
And then he takes off that outfit and then puts on a different one.
This is the same day that Tucker was giving a talk.
Go to 1-6 though, he's got an annoying immigrant name.
I like it, just call yourself Mike.
Yeah, Behzani Sarvar.
Of course it's Canadian media, so getting his ethnicity and his motive takes 142 paragraphs.
This is why people go to Twitter for news, and this is why the digital media is tanking hard.
Taylor Lorenz put up a post about how everyone's getting fired.
Yeah, because you suck.
Look, go to this opening paragraph.
I bet it'll reek.
The man accused of firing a rifle and lobbing firebombs in Edmonton made his first court appearance Thursday.
Bazani Sarvar was briefly in the Alberta Court of Justice.
He wore orange, black, blah, blah, blah.
Good morning, Your Honor.
So he was nice.
Where's he from?
Oh, he's a Canadian national.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Where's he from?
Keep going.
As far as facing six charges, two-day City Hall attack, blah blah blah.
Arlington Police, the Canadian Court of... blah blah blah.
Survivor appears to be the same man in manifesto video.
Yeah, we know.
That's a given.
The video title, Rise Up, shows a man in the driver's seat of the car.
Blah blah blah.
No information.
The rest of the video... This is all stuff that I knew by looking at the video.
I just read that one.
Keep going down.
The rest, uh, Abraham said he has spoken with Savar for all of 10 minutes.
He's not yet been formally designated as Savar's legal counsel.
Court records.
Look, I like how the, the legal counsel is also an immigrant.
Is there, are there any Canadians left in that country?
Court records show Savar lived in a Clearview apartment.
No information, no information, no information, no information.
Look up his last name.
What is that?
Of course you got to go to Twitter for all this information.
You don't get anything from the news ever.
I keep using this example, that stabbing in Ireland, where they go, Irish national involved in knife attack.
What does that mean?
And then you look it up on Twitter.
Oh, he stabbed a little kid.
And, uh, what do we have?
French surname?
No.
No further ahead.
I guess it's my job to be telling you that.
So I thought that was interesting that it happened these very same evening that a dude was, that Tucker Carlson was doing a talk there.
I had a friend, by the way, family friend go, hey, hey Gavin, we got tickets to see Tucker tonight in, sorry, tomorrow night in Edmonton if you want to grab a last-minute flight.
What?
I'm going to fly, I'm going to spend $700 to fly 10 hours, there's no direct flights, to go see Tucker, who I've had dinner with a million times.
And then I realized, oh, you wanted me to introduce you.
Because some rich guy got you the tickets and you thought that might be an in.
No.
But anyway, so I think that's why he did it.
He thought Edmonton had all eyes are on Edmonton today.
I'm gonna use this to gripe about inflation.
You saw that Tucker made a call to Trudeau's office?
Yes, yes.
So, Tucker's talk was brilliant, though.
He talked about medically-assisted death.
He goes, isn't it funny how they're pushing that on Canadian citizens and not so much on immigrants?
If you're killing 50,000 of your citizens, and the government's doing that with medically-assisted death, I call it MAD, and a lot of them are not actually terminally ill, they're just sad, the government is encouraging just Canadians, basically.
Click on that.
It's kind of long, but we'll see.
The citizens of the government is doing that through the MAID program.
And a lot of them are not actually terminally ill, they're just sad.
And the government is encouraging them to submit to being killed by the government.
And then we'll release the recent statistics.
Like, what is that?
What is that?
Yeah, it's genocide.
That's exactly what it is.
It's killing large groups of people.
And who are those people, by the way?
We don't know.
We don't know.
This government has released a stat.
What percentage of those are born in Canada?
I bet right around 100%.
So if you're a government, you have the duty to your citizens, people who are from here, people whose ancestors built the place, not exclusively to them, but primarily to them, to your citizens.
Like, why else do you exist except to serve your citizens?
And if you're targeting your citizens, how many people who arrived in Canada in the last 10 years have opted into the MAID program?
I don't know the answer, I'd better answer it.
That's all people who are from here.
Another government brags, oh, we're safe from money, because they died.
That's the darkest thing I can imagine.
I bet there's zero conversation about that in this country, because I know this country, and I know what it's like.
It's too horrible.
No one wants to talk about it.
You should talk about it.
But more than anything, you should internalize the message of that, which is they hate me.
They hate me to the point they're willing to kill me, which they are.
And the third thing is, notice the erosion of your most basic civil liberties, not the ones granted to you by the crown, but the ones granted to you by God.
And those would include the freedom of speech.
All right, you get the idea.
I think this guy's going for VP.
But you're never going to be a VP if you're a white male and the P is a white male.
Mark my words.
From now on, you will never see a white, straight male P and VP.
Never again till the sun burns out.
I think 400 billion years we're going for.
Breaking news.
Apparently, people have sussed out that maybe Donald Glover is behind this.
Oh, that's why they did it, because a cool black guy said let's do this.
A guerrilla marketing campaign for Glover's upcoming Amazon series.
What an annoying fuck.
And then hi-hi.
I hate that guy.
I really don't like that guy at all.
Mediocre comedian, fairly talented, slightly above average.
His career takes off.
He whines about Jon Stewart being racist towards him.
Then he's the genius in that stupid Mars movie where he's up all night scratching his head doing algorithms.
It's so embarrassing.
And now he's bullying fucking ethno masochistic cucks to ruin their shows for him.
You might have missed it, but in Spider-Man, uh, he played some role where he was like, you know, a wise dude who's just kind of like overt.
He's just like, Hey man, let me tell you something about being Spider-Man.
Because he wanted to be Spider-Man and then he never got casted for it.
And that's in what movie?
One of the new... I get them all confused.
They're all like the same movie.
But it is a Spider-Man movie.
Like the multiverse or whatever?
No, no, I don't care.
I don't fucking care.
I'm getting mad.
See, apparently he's behind that.
He's behind the furries at the NBA game and all the other stuff here.
Donald Glover.
Like, you gotta understand, post-Jackass, post-Sasha Baron Cohen, post-Brass Eye, if you're going for pranks, you're taking on, it's like getting into prog rock.
I'm not gonna pick up a guitar and start doing prog rock.
I gotta learn a lot of solos.
I'm up against fucking Grateful Dead.
I hate those bands, don't get me wrong.
But I'm not going to lie, I'm not going to deny it's hard to play guitar in a prog rock band.
I'm not going to take on Neil Peart.
But you just cancelled a show?
Alright, way to go.
He's now remaking Mr. and Mrs. Smith because that that did need to be remade.
Oh, yeah, it's about time.
Well, I'm just happy to hear that that Blackish guy is redoing It's a Wonderful Life because how many times have you seen It's a Wonderful Life and just seen like Jimmy Cagney or whatever his name is and Jimmy Stewart?
Yeah, and just been like Why aren't you black?
It's black and white already Or Wizard of Oz.
That needs to take place in Compton.
Wizard of Oz has already been blackified.
Yes.
Did you not notice?
Did you not see Michael Jackson dancing around as a scarecrow?
Yeah, but he looks white.
Maybe he was a lion.
Oh, this looks good.
I take everything I say back.
Donald Glover, this looks pretty dope.
What the fuck is that?
I don't know anything about his background, but he seems very middle class, raised by a white mom.
Seems very Indiana.
And then just like Jordan Peele who grew up at hippie schools in Manhattan where they have an organic garden on the roof.
All of a sudden he's like, yo man.
Even Drake.
He's a Jew from Toronto.
And he's like, y'all man, I ain't nobody's.
Dave Chappelle's another one.
There's a lot of black wiggers.
They take themselves too seriously.
In pop culture these days.
Like Donald Trump used to be like, hey, hi.
He was all fun and gay and weird.
And now he's like this.
He's like, I don't really want to talk.
Even Eminem.
Eminem started as a goofball guy.
Hey, I'm a Slim Shady and I like girls.
What the fuck?
And then he's like, yo, man, that guy's a homosexual, man.
I'm a badass.
Look at this smoky-eyed faggot.
Oh my god, with his plastic surgery and his beard dyed.
Dude, I feel like everyone's dad and all my kids have let me down.
Shut up with your face, dude.
Actually, that's kind of cool.
You might want to stick with that.
Tim was onto something.
Yeah, look at this.
This is how it started.
Hey guys, what's up?
And then it's like, hello.
Hello.
I'm wind but choclified.
I'm the god of chocolate wind.
I'm father ain't got no time for that.
That might be 60 bucks.
Nice.
I don't count that as a pun.
Alright.
Jump medic.
I have so much rage in me.
Maybe it's because I didn't eat lunch today, but all these things make me so sincerely angry.
You're hangry.
I got some chips if you want.
You know what?
I'm just gonna add one more just to really piss me off.
Dude17.
I don't know if I showed this already, but you know how I feel about bike races.
I could give less of a shit about a bicycle marathon, but I respect my fellow human being, and I know these guys trained for this for weeks, and then some fucking moron doesn't get the basics of crossing the road.
What are you, a chicken in a joke?
Take him out.
What the fuck are you doing?
You should be coming.
Ah, fuck you.
The guy goes like this.
Ah, forget you.
He should have just... You're obviously in great shape.
You have great cardio, which is one of the hardest parts of fighting, is not getting gassed out.
Annihilate him!
You got the gloves on, probably with the knuckle things and everything.
You got a helmet on.
He's not gonna knock you out.
Go fucking break all his ribs.
Look at that!
Did you just go Scottish in anger?
In everything.
That's Irish.
Don't go Scottish in anger.
Don't you worry.
So you got your bike falling down on the ground.
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I don't need a jump medic bag, you say.
Yeah, you don't need it till you need it.
It's like when people say with dogs, they go, oh no, he's fine, he never bites.
Yeah, every dog bite that's at the ER has the owner going, I don't know what's going on, he's never done that before.
Yeah, of course he's never done that before.
If he'd never done that before, he wouldn't be your dog.
They would have put him down.
So you don't think you need a jump medic bag until you need a jump medic bag.
So have it in your RV, have it in your SUV.
Have it in your boot.
Dry as a bone.
Told my daughter when she was like four, the way you know if a plant needs watering is you just stick your finger in the dirt.
And if it's dry, we better get water fast.
If it feels moist, don't water it.
You're over watering it.
And I just, when she was like four, she puts her finger in and she just walks away going, dry as a bone.
Now, this was what, 13 years ago.
And now every time I'm watering the plants, I'm like, dry as a bone.
Last night my daughter wakes up so I go in there to like lay down with her so she falls back to sleep and she's like up and wired and I'm like oh shit and I'm not I'd like to sleep and then she's like she like sits up and she starts like rubbing my chest and she's like I give you a gassage.
Like a mommy gave you gassage.
I was like thank you.
Oh so she speaks Japanese.
Gassage.
Give a good gassage.
So we're bitching about immigration.
We're saying it's ruining Canada and it links to that euthanasia, not youth in Asia, but the euthanasia going on in Canada where they're just murdering everyone who's having a bad day and replacing them with immigrants who have already experienced bad days and I hope are happy to be there, although judging by the shoot-em-out on the, whenever it was, the 24th, some of them are not happy there.
I have a new pet peeve and it's e-bikes.
They are the four horsemen of the apocalypse combined.
Oh, here we go.
They're starting fires in these apartment buildings where there's like 10 of them per room.
They're not licensed.
They're smashing into people.
They don't have lights on.
They don't seem to have any self-worth.
They don't seem to care whether they live or die.
My eyeballs in New York City see about half Asian and half of them are Hispanic.
They're all new immigrants and I don't like people ordering food The prices are insane you get you get a fucking seven wings for 25 bucks and you leave a $5 tip You're paying $30 for you're paying $4 a wing $3 a wing and And it just, it's the death of a city.
City culture is going out.
It's going to the market, getting a tomato, it's going out for dinner, it's walking around.
Even at lunch at work, you go walk down to the bodega, you go walking, clear your head for a second, get away from screens.
This ordering Uber Eats and getting it at your desk.
Or seven o'clock in New York City, Manhattan, Is nothing but these assholes with the hand coverings on their bikes.
Go to my Twitter and you can see them.
It was in a post recently and they just, they don't, you look in their eyes you see no soul and they dominate the streets.
It's de Blasio's fault.
De Blasio said it worked in Amsterdam.
I talked about this the other day.
I don't believe him that it worked in Amsterdam.
And I told you that when I was in Paris, it's just nothing but delivery bikes.
And it's not just the delivery men I hate.
It's the people who order them.
Get off your fucking ass, you fat piece of shit.
These guys are fucking everywhere.
They're cold because they're not riding their bicycles.
Now I had some people point out that I was a bike messenger.
Yeah, I was a bike messenger.
We were not ubiquitous.
We were in the financial district and because it was manual, it just, it was less invasive.
We had our little packages.
We deliver them to business.
We were helping business.
It symbolized business going well.
This symbolizes people sitting on their fucking ass.
Boy, I'm a grump today.
Oh, we should get behind the paywall soon.
I know what I'll do.
I'll drop a scoop and then I won't give you the evidence.
So a lot of back and forth about Patriot Front.
They were in Manhattan recently marching around in their khakis.
The go-to from the right is they're feds.
And that helps our narrative because we're told there's racists everywhere and they inject racism into Proud Boys and say, oh, the club's white supremacist, but they're black.
And gay and Hispanic.
Yeah, it's called multi-racial white supremacy.
So they look like fools and it's fun.
And we don't want to give them any ground.
And to admit that Patriot Front are white supremacists and they're not all feds hurts us.
But the truth shall set you free.
She sells seashells by the seashore.
And I have some intel that implies they are real.
And I'm going to get to that behind the paywall, but we're going behind the paywall now.
40 minutes.
I got, I got to do an interview with Ann Coulter after this, so we got to wrap it up in another 40 minutes.
I think hour 20 is a sweet spot for this show.
We do a show every single day.
I have reruns of my old show on the weekends.
We have AIU who does deep dives on all kinds of myths like the burning down of Black Wall Street.
Emmett Till.
All of these things we just accept as a fact.
In our society.
Matthew Shepard was murdered because he was gay.
And AIU is amazing at exposing how pretty much every terrible thing we hear about America is untrue.
It's wrong.
There's the archives.
You got Candace Owen and Cornel West.
We have more content than you can shake a stick at per day.
In fact, if you were to watch everything that we put out every day, I would say get a life.
So you have to pick and choose.
You find your shows.
We got Anthony Cumia on Wednesdays.
That's live.
That's live.
We got to figure out how to take calls.
Maybe we'll do Monday shows at night and take calls like 9 to 11 or something.
Hmm.
I don't know.
Then I gotta do training on Tuesday, though.
We'll figure it out.
It's always changing.
It's never predictable.
And, uh, now we're gonna get into some heavy shit secrets that you're not supposed to know, but you can't know them because you're a cheap ass.
Oh, look, it's Mercedes calling from jail.
You don't get to hear that either.
Mercedes Carrera.
An incarcerated individual at San Bernardino County Sheriff's Department.
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