While Putin is giving Tucker half hour history lessons, our president thinks Egypt is Mexico and his son got his rosary "at the Lady of…” We are living in Retard Nation and actual handicapped people seem to be doing better than most of us. Also, James O’Keefe is on fire and the Proud Boys are under attack.
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| - Live from New York, it's "Get Off My Lawn" with Gavin McInnes. - it's "Get Off My Lawn" with Gavin McInnes. - | |
| That was a very, very retarded gentleman who goes by the name Jerry Hassani. | |
| I think he's Italian or something. | |
| I don't know what's going on here. | |
| Let me pull them up. | |
| Yeah, that looks pretty Italian. | |
| That's kind of the running theme for today's show, is severe retardation. | |
| Biden is fucked up. | |
| I'm recording this from my office because Ryan and I are not getting along. | |
| I got into an argument with him yesterday and the attitude is just like, fuck you. | |
| Why are you busting my balls? | |
| He talks to me like I'm his twin brother, but I'm his boss. | |
| So you can't riff with someone like that. | |
| Uh, so I don't feel like chillin'. | |
| You know what I mean? | |
| Like if you're a comedy troupe. | |
| Because it is a comedy show, ultimately. | |
| And one of the guys is being an asshole. | |
| You don't feel like riffing. | |
| It would be insincere. | |
| And it wouldn't be fair to you. | |
| So this is just a photo booth on my computer in my office. | |
| And then, ideally, the links will be added in post so you'll get to see Jerry Hassani. | |
| And, uh, I don't know. | |
| Why does he get a career? | |
| God bless his cotton socks that he's out there, but it's sort of like that handicapped dude who sang the National Anthem at Citi Field for a Mets game, and he totally murdered it. | |
| I'm just sort of like, you deserve, you know, to live and to be happy, but you don't deserve to sing the National Anthem if you can't talk. | |
| You don't deserve a rap career. | |
| Sorry, bud. | |
| As you know, today's a free show, so we have to... | |
| We have to talk about our sponsors, so let's talk about the coloring book, Trumptastical. | |
| We've got a great new sponsor, the Trumptastical Artificial Presidential Creations of AI Hallucinations Coloring Book. | |
| It's a fun and hilarious coloring book that features President Trump in a variety of wild and wacky situations. | |
| Folks, this is the number one must-have Valentine's Day gift for every MAGA guy and girl. | |
| It's the product of a baby monster who used AI to generate some quite interesting scenarios involving, frankly, President Donald Trump. | |
| You've got Trump as a DJ, a quarterback, a bodybuilder, a skateboarder, and heck, they even have a beautiful page of Trump shredding the guitar better than Jimi Hendrix. | |
| But obviously not as well as Ryan Katzu Rivera, who technically and frankly is a better guitar player than both Hendrix and Trump. | |
| This should probably be read by Ryan in a Trump voice. | |
| Trumptasticle has 40 amazing images of President Donald Trump, so strongly. | |
| All of the pages are single-sided, which means you won't need to worry about bleed-through. | |
| You can tear out a page, put it on your wall, or keep Trumptasticle as a novelty book on your coffee table. | |
| The high-quality paper is thick enough that you can use not only colored pencils, Uh, and markers, but even watercolors. | |
| We call them pencil crayons in Canada. | |
| It's great, it's a great gift for any occasion, but especially Valentine's Day. | |
| Go to TrumpTastical.com and check out this high quality fun book. | |
| When you buy the book, send in a picture of your best decorated page to Sean, that's our ad guy, S-E-A-N. | |
| And the winner at the end of February will get a free batch of Purpleworks pre-workout or a Purpleworks coffee of your choice. | |
| Just make sure to color in the lines. | |
| Okay? | |
| I'd also like to add, by the way, my suits. | |
| This is not a Nita fashion suit. | |
| But every other day, every day that's not this day, I'm wearing a Nita fashions suit and they're on tour right now in Australia. | |
| So here's their shedge. | |
| It's not very clear, is it? | |
| Is that clear? | |
| They're in Sydney. | |
| So you contact them on their Instagram page, Nita Fashions, N-I-T-A. | |
| And they're in Sydney, February 18th to 20th. | |
| They're in Melbourne, February 21st to the 24th. | |
| Then they're in Brisbane, February 25th and 26th. | |
| So you go in there, you get suited up, you get measured, you get to look at the different fabrics, make your custom suit. | |
| It's for rich, cheap guys like me. | |
| So we may get into the god wheel today to cover some subjects, but two major stories going on is Biden being a retard. | |
| They're not prosecuting him for the documents in his garage because he's not mentally sound. | |
| Which is good that he's getting out of a charge, but bad that he's the leader of the free world. | |
| He said he can't remember when his son Bo died. | |
| He's often said his son Bo died in battle in Iraq, which is not true. | |
| He had brain cancer. | |
| And we juxtapose that with Tucker's Interview with Putin and whatever you think of Putin, I don't like Putin. | |
| I'm a Western chauvinist. | |
| I hate the East, but he's no dummy. | |
| And comparing Biden defending his mental state with Putin giving Tucker Carlson a 30 minute history lesson, which was too boring to listen to. | |
| It's quite a dichotomy there. | |
| Quite a difference. | |
| Holy fucking shit. | |
| We are being led by a special needs man. | |
| And I know I've said this a million times. | |
| I said it at the gym this morning. | |
| I was just like, if Joe Biden was at my local bar, I would stop my friend. | |
| Excuse me. | |
| Excuse me. | |
| They'd be telling me a funny story and I'd go, I'm gonna go say hi to Joe. | |
| And they'd be like, why? | |
| He's a stupid old man. | |
| Because I'm a good person. | |
| And then I would go over there and I would spend half a beer talking to him. | |
| I've done this before with other special needs seniors. | |
| And then after a while you go, okay, well, I'm going to get back to my pals there. | |
| Okay, well, nice catching up. | |
| Leader of the free world. | |
| But before we get to that, let's catch up on some important news bites. | |
| James O'Keefe is on fuckin' fire, bro. | |
| So this video, pulling up here, 1-1, uh, he hears, an insider tells him that there is a bus full of illegal immigrants. | |
| Going into, where was this now? | |
| Tucson. | |
| Ramada Hotel in Tucson. | |
| His disguise is just a wig and a hat. | |
| But as they're telling him that they're trespassing, and I think cops can tell when they talk to someone, and they immediately, they go, go ahead, cuff me. | |
| I'm on public property. | |
| And they can kind of tell when someone knows the law, and they think, this is going to be a pain in the ass with this guy. | |
| I'm not going to hassle him too much. | |
| Now that's not to say the Sovereign Citizen dudes are effective. | |
| They're fucking annoying too. | |
| But there's a balance in there. | |
| And you can tell in this video that they know that James knows what he's doing. | |
| The fish kiss of the whole video is as this sheriff or detective is telling him that he had better get the hell out of there and it's none of his business what's happening, a fucking busload of illegals goes right behind him live on camera. | |
| So, I got into some arguments with some Project Veritas guys, because I tweeted out, I go, what's the matter, you pussies? | |
| He didn't give you enough attention? | |
| What, you didn't ask him about his miscarriage? | |
| And so they're texting me now, and they're like, well, I know who you're talking about. | |
| I go, this is a breakup that's worth tens of millions, hundreds of millions of dollars in the long term, and you want me to get into gossiping on a text? | |
| Like, I know all of this could be a discovery in a lawsuit. | |
| I think Veritas is actually suing James. | |
| So I'm not going to get into the gossip with you, but you dummies chose the wrong team. | |
| And then this other guy says to me, well, you've got to understand with James, it was like walking on eggshells around him. | |
| I go, yeah, this is kind of the fight I'm having here. | |
| That's your boss. | |
| You should be walking around on eggshells. | |
| And this isn't just any job. | |
| Project Veritas is not CBS. | |
| The FBI booted down James's front door, took his phones, all this other shit. | |
| So that's eggshell material. | |
| You're basically in the media version of a militia, and you're going up against the deep state. | |
| So times should be tough. | |
| And as far as James taking private planes, well yeah, occasionally. | |
| The guy brought in like $28 million last year. | |
| And a huge part of that, by the way, is legal fees for the journalists. | |
| And he's in a weird situation now 'cause he's essentially fired from Veritas. | |
| But, like a little hook coming out of my head? | |
| But he has to still pay for the legal fees for the journalists who worked for him because they got arrested or whatever charged when he was the boss. | |
| So he's still taking on that. | |
| And he said to them when he was leaving, he's like, who's going to pay all these legal fees? | |
| Like, that's a major part of this company, is paying for these kids when they get, you know, charged. | |
| They had no answer. | |
| Now they're bankrupt. | |
| And now James is forced to pay out all this money. | |
| Like, I think it's a generational thing. | |
| I think millennials don't understand that work isn't always fun. | |
| And when you're, especially when the stakes are as high as, very tough, but anyway, James is handling it himself now and showing everyone why he was the boss. | |
| And it's because he's fucking great. | |
| I mean, the fucking White House Chief of Security spilling all the beans to James and then James just goes, why are you talking to James O'Keefe? | |
| And the moron realizing that, you know what they haven't done? | |
| They haven't fired him. | |
| Because they know that will have the Streisand effect and everyone will be talking about it again. | |
| So I think he's on some sort of sabbatical. | |
| This is that White House security guy because they don't want to draw attention to it. | |
| This is the same as David Shortell, my favorite stakeout king, who on a hunch decided to go to Roger Stone's house 15 minutes before the SWAT showed up. | |
| And then they had the audacity on CNN to feature him and talk about what a great hunch he was. | |
| Like, he didn't even camp out the night before. | |
| He was there at 5. | |
| The SWAT team was there at 5.15. | |
| Because the FBI clearly is in bed with CNN and clearly told them. | |
| And they had the audacity to run with that lie and go, yeah, it was a hunch. | |
| Great work, David Chorto. | |
| Then they shuffle him off to Mexico, where he's in charge of Mexican slash American media relations. | |
| That's not a thing. | |
| And the same thing they did with John Sullivan, right? | |
| The Antifa guy who told Ashley Babbitt to jump through that window. | |
| Where she got killed, shot in the neck, by an affirmative action cop who constantly left his gun in the bathroom because he's an idiot and shouldn't be there. | |
| CNN paid him, what, $35,000 for that footage from January 6 footage? | |
| He was in Antifa, he dressed up in a MAGA hat, started trouble. | |
| And after that, they had to justify it, so they sent him on a bunch of excursions to make him look like more of a journalist. | |
| I tweeted all this, but they're just so bad at it. | |
| That was a big takeaway with Putin and seeing him be intellectual. | |
| And again, he's a propagandist and he hates the West and, you know, he's KGB, we're CIA. | |
| I hate the CIA, but you know what I mean. | |
| But the juxtaposition of just like intelligent leaders who know what they're doing and the clown show that we're living in with Biden. | |
| But before we get to that. | |
| This is some important news. | |
| I got a little too heavy. | |
| I like to keep it light at the beginning, for you people who are not familiar with the show, and then get heavier and heavier, but I got too heavy at the beginning. | |
| Sorry to laugh at the handicapped, but this woman's fucking life sucks! | |
| Well, she's laid, she's getting married, but you've got to hear This woman's life story, it is, it's out of a comedy. - I'm in hospital, I ended up losing both my legs. | |
| Already the worst luck in the world. | |
| Wait, was she to daycare at 18 months? | |
| - Before Christmas 2003, when I was two and a half years old, I was napping at preschool. | |
| A man was driving the car when he had a seizure and the car hit the curb. | |
| The car flew over a room of 18 month old babies but landed right on top of me and someone else. - Already the worst luck in the world. | |
| Wait, was she at a daycare at 18 months? | |
| That's young. - Car eventually caught a light and we were were trapped under. | |
| With over a six month journey in hospital, I ended up losing both my legs below the knee, my right hand and my right ear. | |
| I also... | |
| My right hand and my right ear, both legs one of these. | |
| So not only did the car shoot through the walls and land on top of her, it burst into flames where she cooked for I think 30 seconds. | |
| I sustained third degree burns to 90% of my body. | |
| Fast forward three It gets worse. | |
| - When I'm five years old. | |
| - Okay, so already we're at the worst possible luck a human can have. | |
| It gets worse. - I was being pushed across the road in my stroller with my assistant's dog by my side. | |
| When a driver got blinded by the sun and hit my stroller. | |
| I flew 18 meters in the air and landed head first on the pavement. | |
| I sustained most-- - How far is 18 meters? | |
| 60 feet. | |
| 60 feet through the air. | |
| She goes fucking flying. | |
| ...the internal injuries, but I have a lifelong brain injury and no sense of smell. | |
| Since then I've been in and out of hospital for my entire life, having gone through hundreds of surgeries. | |
| Now I'm 22 years old, I'm a keynote speaker, and I'm getting married this year. | |
| I'm an avid traveler and an adventure junkie, and I want to use my social media to challenge the myth that having a disability defines your life. | |
| I want to show... | |
| Yeah. | |
| I live my... Yeah. | |
| Well done. | |
| She doesn't even have a... Like, she doesn't really have normal hair. | |
| And she's not wearing a wig. | |
| She gets cock. | |
| She's getting married. | |
| She got laid. | |
| How come you're not getting laid? | |
| Is it... These people always seem to be hooked up with someone. | |
| Even like the... My 500 pound life. | |
| These gigantic fat pigs. | |
| They always seem to have a lover. | |
| And yes, it's often an African American gentleman. | |
| But sometimes it's not. | |
| Did they get disproportionately more laid than us normal people? | |
| Because I know a lot of lonely people, especially women in their 40s. | |
| But these severely handicapped types, they always seem to be getting poontang, or the D. Like, for example, jumping over to 1-3 here, Shane, my boy Shane, Shane Burka. | |
| We're disabled. | |
| Of course people assume we're sad. | |
| So that other dude with the chain, he has the physiognomy of a Canadian funny person. | |
| He's got that hoser face, that Cody Canuck face. | |
| I bet he is Canadian. | |
| So this is him and Shane. | |
| They go on vacations together with their pretty attractive girlfriends. | |
| Wives, I think, actually. | |
| I'm not sure. | |
| And they just get mad poon and travel the world. | |
| It's got to be some sort of maternal instinct, and then with men it's paternal instinct. | |
| Something fishy is going on here. | |
| Imagine you're the dad. | |
| And your daughter tells you about this awesome dude that she met and you're really excited to meet him and you see the pictures and you go, I hope he's treating you right. | |
| You tell him, he makes you cry, I make him cry. | |
| And then fucking that shows up. | |
| Like not just, the hoser's not that bad, but Shane. | |
| With his weird... His cricket arms. | |
| And your daughter's this beautiful, healthy young lady and you're like, really? | |
| Out of all the fish in the sea? | |
| I mean, it would be one thing if he was, you know, in Afghanistan and he got crippled after and you're gonna stand by your man. | |
| Of course people call us Speed Racer. | |
| Hot Wheels. | |
| Speed Demon. | |
| Speedy Gonzalez. | |
| We're disabled. | |
| Of course people apologize to us for no reason. | |
| We're disabled. | |
| Of course people assume we can't... We're disabled. | |
| Of course... I do assume you can't fuck. | |
| I mean, you can't walk. | |
| You must do a lot of pussy eating, I guess. | |
| Right? | |
| And they constantly refute that whole, like, oh, you don't understand. | |
| We can fuck like crazy. | |
| Like, OK, can I get the details? | |
| If you're going to be bragging about how awesome you are in the sack despite being paralyzed, like, what do you do? | |
| I think I asked Crip Daddy that, and he refused to answer. | |
| There they are. | |
| This is one four now doing ballet in the lobby of the Jacob Javits Center, wherever the fuck they are. | |
| Maybe they're on a cruise ship? | |
| Because they did go on a cruise. | |
| And then 1-5. | |
| Just more handicapped people. | |
| Like, look at them. | |
| Look at them, that's them on New Year's Eve. | |
| - Boo! - Like you're worried that you're bald. | |
| And that's probably why you're not getting laid. | |
| No, dude. | |
| They're crumpled. | |
| Shane Burkhardt is a crumpled up piece of paper. | |
| And he's doing awesome. | |
| Speaking of which, doing awesome, I'm currently on the Drug Purple Works. | |
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| Many pre-workouts will do a number in your digestive system and cause extreme flatulence. | |
| Other pre-workouts have magnesium, artificial dyes, and flavorings, which are all known to cause catastrophic Dystopian levels of farting, sharting, and shitting, which is embarrassing when you're training with someone, and you're in that, you know, secluded, you know, trainer with weights and stuff, and you're in that little secluded area, and you let one go, and you just have to say to the guy, I would avoid this area of the room for now. | |
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| Purpleworks likes you more than a friend. | |
| And I've said this a hundred times, but I just love the fact that when you take it, I don't do a whole scoop, that's way too much caffeine, because caffeine is a big part of this, but you take it and then you start feeling the tingles and you're like, I got to get to the gym and I have to break a sweat or I'll feel itchy. | |
| And then you get out there and you, I will admit, I was kind of hungover this morning. | |
| And you do have this super energy burst, but then your reality kicks in at some point and says, dude, You drank a glass of tequila before you went to sleep last night. | |
| You're not in the greatest of shape. | |
| I'm tricking you. | |
| But you get the workout in. | |
| I played my new dance hall. | |
| See, that's another reason I can't have fun and relax today. | |
| Because I brought these costumes to do a whole mixtape about dance hall and reggae and Jamaican music. | |
| And I've got the costumes ready, but you can't. | |
| Do costume playlist videos when someone's fucking telling you that you're busting their balls. | |
| It's not a fun comedy environment. | |
| But I guess we'll get to that next week. | |
| I got to pre-tape a bunch of shows. | |
| I also got to do some Battle of the Bands again. | |
| Lynyrd Skynyrd, people keep suggesting. | |
| And then I was looking at Toby Keith. | |
| I mean, his career was fucking long, right? | |
| Probably 30 is when he broke. | |
| The age of 30 just died at 62, so it's 32 years, that's a lot of years, but 32, wait a minute, I could just do it in my head. | |
| Hit 32 number one hits, that's a hit a year. | |
| Hmm. | |
| I mean, that's, those are number one hits, though. | |
| Like, Beer for My Horses is a fucking hit, as far as I'm concerned, but I don't think it made it to number one. | |
| Um, also an important news. | |
| I found some high IQ sprinkles. | |
| This is one six. | |
| Fucking awesome. | |
| OK, this is one of my favorite paradoxes. | |
| Humans could not have traveled to the moon unless we had already traveled to the moon. | |
| Let that sink in. | |
| So in order to make that trip, Chris is leaving because I've been talking about paradoxes all week and he's sick of it. | |
| I love the way he takes his headphones off. | |
| Why does a one-person... Oh, wait, shit. | |
| Why does a one-person podcast need headphones? | |
| I've tried it before. | |
| You can hear, like, the spit in your mouth. | |
| It's really distracting. | |
| It's way too intense. | |
| I don't even get headphones in any circumstance, like on Joe Rogan. | |
| Why do they need them? | |
| The conceit is, well, when we play a video, if it comes out of the speakers, it'll feed back into the microphone. | |
| No, it doesn't. | |
| You guys hear my show, not this show, but the usual show. | |
| It doesn't feed back into the fucking microphone. | |
| Anyway, back to high IQ sprinkles. | |
| Oops. | |
| Oh no. | |
| Because you can't afford to bring not enough, or you'll never make the return flight. | |
| But you also can't afford to bring too much because of the complexities of space travel, right? | |
| Chemistry, physics, all these things behave differently in outer space. | |
| So, for us to have made the trip to the Moon, we would have already had To have been to the moon in order to know how much fuel it requires. | |
| So that's the paradox. | |
| And it's actually not the first time this has happened. | |
| Because, and if you want to go down this rabbit hole with me, when the Europeans crossed the ocean to go to the Americas, and you can look this up, they would need to know exactly how many supplies they need. | |
| Yeah, they ran out all the time. | |
| Well, how could they know that unless they had already made the trip before? | |
| And you can take this a step further. | |
| If you really want to get crazy, the only way a sailboat can cross the ocean is with wind. | |
| Well, how did they know exactly... Can I blow your mind right now? | |
| Podcasts can be such a waste of time with these experts. | |
| It reminds me of, I saw Jim Norton and his tranny wife, who I think is from Norway? | |
| And she was... No guns. | |
| She was on Adam... Oh, I froze there. | |
| Um... I think Photo Booth can only handle 25 minutes. | |
| Remember when I interviewed Penny Rimbow from Crass on it? | |
| It kept dying. | |
| But, um... Yeah, these experts who aren't experts in retarded America, which might be the name of this episode. | |
| No, it should be called Pootin... Poutine? | |
| Putin is greater than Biden. | |
| We keep hearing these experts, and if you'll allow me to be anti-American for a minute, America's not known for their worldliness. | |
| I think two-thirds of them don't have passports. | |
| They're very parochial and local and, you know. | |
| I talk to people in America that have never been to California, like people in the West Coast. | |
| I've met people in Brooklyn and the Bronx that have never been to Manhattan. | |
| Which is a commute I do every fucking day. | |
| So when they meet someone from Norway and that person is talking like an expert about their country, you're just like, oh, okay, so that's true. | |
| Even, and I don't want to disparage Jim's wife, but even if it's a tranny, like trannies are, I'm sorry, but they're mentally ill, generally. | |
| And if a tranny's telling me something about geopolitics or the gun laws of their home country, I'm not listening. | |
| I don't take you seriously. | |
| So at 1719 on this link, which is 16A, they're talking about guns and how they don't have guns. | |
| She means handguns. | |
| But they don't have guns in Norway and there's no shootings there. | |
| Oh, okay. | |
| I don't mean, like, handguns. | |
| I mean, like, rifles, like, in case a war breaks out, kind of thing. | |
| Yeah, many people have rifles and go hunting, but there's not many shootings in Norway at all. | |
| Yeah, and a lot of rifles, not so many schools getting shot at. | |
| Right. | |
| Sweetness. | |
| How the fuck are they all talking about that and ignoring Anders Breivik who killed 77 people? | |
| When did he do that again? | |
| 10 years ago. | |
| So 2012, around. | |
| He's still in prison for it. | |
| But like, isn't it weird they wouldn't even acknowledge that? | |
| I remember, the reason I looked that up is because I remember John Lott talking about how it's a myth that America has the most shootings. | |
| Because when you go per cap, Northern Europe's not doing that great. | |
| And in fact, I think thanks to Anders, they're worse. | |
| Norway is definitely worse than us. | |
| 77 in one go. | |
| But isn't it weird that wouldn't even be acknowledged? | |
| We just assume everyone's a fucking expert. | |
| Okay, speaking of fucking experts, Killer Mike, who was arrested at the Grammys for being a douche and demanding some female security to get the fuck out of his way because she's a dumb bitch, um, he's very politically active and he's a socialist. | |
| He's a Bernie bro. | |
| And my problem with these socialist types is they, they, uh, they, Have these pie-in-the-sky plans. | |
| Like, everyone gets a living wage and all. | |
| And it sounds nice on paper. | |
| Okay. | |
| Cool, we'll do that. | |
| But you gotta understand the retards in control. | |
| Like, let's give this guy trillions of dollars and say, can you not only make America great, but also deal with all the other countries, make sure Ukraine and Russia are getting along, make sure China and Taiwan are getting along? | |
| No! | |
| Make sure Israel and Iran. | |
| This guy, we'll get to this, but this guy thinks that Egypt is in Mexico. | |
| I'm not joking. | |
| So, even if you do come up with a great plan, the idea of it being implemented is zero. | |
| Now, I like Nick Oak's brilliant idea of, you give everyone a living wage, but if they accept that, they can't vote. | |
| That doesn't require me spending or giving the government tons of money. | |
| Because basically everyone that I'm talking about is already getting a living wage with welfare and food stamps and everything. | |
| So you're just taking the votes away from people who are ruining the country by voting, like the illegals who are voting because Biden let them in, or blacks who are voting for the black guy or the DNC because they were told to. | |
| So you just weed that out. | |
| But this idea of like, okay, you get all this money, and then you go and do that, and then we give you this thing. | |
| Okay, if you're magic, and you're Mao, and you're in a dictatorship, maybe, but you gotta think of the incompetent people that are handling your plan. | |
| That's what I'm trying to get across here. | |
| Your plan can be flawless. | |
| And with corruption, and a lot of black female politicians, to be honest, the money's all getting stolen. | |
| Like LiveAid. | |
| What happened with LiveAid? | |
| We sent raised like... How much money did LiveAid raise? | |
| $127 million. | |
| It didn't go to poor people. | |
| It sat on trucks. | |
| It went to despots. | |
| We're not much better than the turd world these days. | |
| It's just a guy that went viral here in New York for just popping a squat on a garbage can and just filling it with poo. | |
| We can't make fun of the pajits anymore, we're just as bad. | |
| Okay, so let's, this is, uh, 17, let's hear Killer Mike's plan to save the world. | |
| I've watched this a couple times and I thought, I'm gonna have to watch this live because it's pretty hard to piece together. | |
| Okay. | |
| Wait, wait, wait. | |
| What happened here? | |
| Young woman gets pregnant as a teenager, young man and woman... | |
| I think the solution is this and I'm out your way. | |
| Two years. | |
| Young woman gets pregnant as a teenager. | |
| Young man and woman get pregnant. | |
| This is the two year plan. | |
| First two years are debt free. | |
| You don't have to pay the government anything back. | |
| So she doesn't get to drag him into court. | |
| Wait, so black teenager gets a black I don't know. | |
| Why are they all black in this? | |
| This is the other thing. | |
| What about poor whites? | |
| Like trailer trash? | |
| Are they involved? | |
| Is every teen? | |
| Because he keeps talking about his community. | |
| It's this myopic view of the world where I'm going to come up with a law for my community. | |
| Okay, that's not how the Constitution works. | |
| We can't have laws for me and not for thee. | |
| Everyone's supposed to be equal under the law. | |
| So let's just, for the sake of argument, say he's talking about poor teens. | |
| But wait, you have to talk about all teens. | |
| We can't have different laws for different income brackets. | |
| So if you're a teen parent and you get pregnant, you don't have to pay taxes for two years. | |
| But these people aren't paying taxes anyway. | |
| And then he doesn't have to pay child support. | |
| Because she can't drag him into court, he says. | |
| And the court doesn't say you owe us money for investing in your child through food programs, through early head start programs. | |
| Because in those two years, the boy has the option, or not an option, he has the demand of the co-man to then go to a trade school. | |
| You have to go to a trade school, which incentivizes the United States to do it, because we need more tradespeople. | |
| We don't have enough carpenters. | |
| See, he's starting with a good idea that we need more tradespeople. | |
| But what are the logistics of this insane new society he's creating? | |
| So you get a woman pregnant when you're a teenager, and then you don't have to pay child support, but you have to Get a trade? | |
| How do you force people to get a trade? | |
| We don't have enough electricians. | |
| We don't have enough people to build a road. | |
| In my community, the girls are going to college and graduating. | |
| Yes, and they're taking bullshit garbage classes like Black History Month or some shit. | |
| And then they're becoming chief diversity officers at the local public school. | |
| Or what do they call it? | |
| They have these black schools here in the Bronx. | |
| They have like, the guy's job is head of culture at the school. | |
| They have no men to marry because the boys are not going to college in the same way. | |
| My teachers were married to tradesmen. | |
| Wait, you just said these educated black women don't have anyone to marry. | |
| And then you said they're all married to tradesmen. | |
| Teacher, who we call doctor, her husband owns a locksmith company. | |
| Her husband was a carpentry, was a mechanic. | |
| So they had a good life. | |
| Their kids went to school right at the same school we went to. | |
| I think that the incentive to solving the child support problem and a part of solving our infrastructure problem is to incentivize young boys who have gotten a girl pregnant. | |
| You must now go through two years of trade school. | |
| Wait a minute. | |
| So... | |
| Yeah, you should go through two years of trade school. | |
| Two years? | |
| A plumber's like seven years. | |
| What's two years of trade school gonna do? | |
| Although I'm sure I could learn how to be a plumber in two years. | |
| How do you enforce that? | |
| Okay, I like where you're at. | |
| Okay, go ahead. | |
| After that boy graduates, you get a further incentive if you and the girl marry. | |
| That's good. | |
| So you get her pregnant. | |
| You don't have to pay child support. | |
| I don't know how she's surviving, by the way. | |
| And then you go to trade school for those two years. | |
| Are you living with her? | |
| And then there's incentive to marry, like tax breaks and stuff. | |
| That part I like, but that could be its own thing. | |
| If you and the girl marry, we'll give you these incentives. | |
| Zero finance, home loans, something out of HUD besides an apartment with a leaky faucet. | |
| But like, do I get that when I get married? | |
| Who gets this? | |
| Do you have to be below a certain income level? | |
| And rats and roaches in it. | |
| But incentivize marriage, which then strengthens our community. | |
| This guy's a socialist, right? | |
| So he's pro-welfare, which incentivizes not getting married. | |
| So your team started this whole single black mom thing. | |
| The Black community and strengthens the greater community because now you have more American marriages, you have people with stronger financial stability, and you have tradespeople married to women of education, and you begin to recreate communities like what Auburn Avenue was, what Edgewood was. | |
| I believe you can do this from the executive order because the money that Florida funnels down from the feds through the states to help mothers, Then it can be a test where we're not only helping mothers, we're helping fathers too. | |
| If a boy gets a woman pregnant, not only does she receive tanner, I see your face, right? | |
| Good idea. | |
| If a woman receives tanner, she receives good, the boy now has a must, you're federally required now to go to trade school. | |
| And in those two years, what you put out on the other side is a person who's trained, a person who has an incentive to marry, and a person who becomes a taxpayer and not just a taker of taxes. | |
| So you have to go to trade school. | |
| How do we enforce that? | |
| This is fucking lefties, man. | |
| He's right that we should incentivize marriage. | |
| He's right that there should be more trades. | |
| So he starts with that good premise and then he employs fascism and free money to make it all happen. | |
| Like, do you round up these guys? | |
| Do they go to jail if they don't go to trade school? | |
| What if they're retarded? | |
| What if they suck at trade school? | |
| It's not easy. | |
| It's not a given. | |
| It's not breaking rocks. | |
| It's not carrying plywood. | |
| Carpentry, elect... Even, like, becoming a phys ed teacher? | |
| Those, for some dumb reason, I don't know why. | |
| Those guys have to take math and, like, history and shit to get their degrees. | |
| So... Once again, it's low IQ people, and they tend to be socialists, starting with a good premise and then enforcing it with the iron fist of fucking big government. | |
| No thanks, Mike. | |
| All right, what are we at here now? | |
| So we should go behind the paywall soon. | |
| 25, 35, maybe 10 more minutes. | |
| Let's talk about the Putin interview. | |
| Here it is at 1-8. | |
| Fucking Tucker. | |
| Tucker, like, the people who are fucking up are fucking up. | |
| And then there's certain dudes that are just killing it right now. | |
| I think there's certain people who thrive when things are going bad. | |
| And Trump was one of those guys. | |
| He was collecting rent in the Bronx, right down the street here, when the Bronx was an absolute war zone. | |
| When collecting rent was a suicide mission. | |
| Him and his dad were there making a fortune out of nothing. | |
| Garbage. | |
| And then accruing more and buying more with the money from the previous thing. | |
| Tucker, he's fired from Fox News. | |
| Fuck you, you're dead now. | |
| You're not doing anything. | |
| And he's not just doing important interviews like Vladimir Putin, but he's doing Theo Vaughn and the Nelk Boys. | |
| Unfortunately, we'll never have a white male P and VP ever again. | |
| If you have a white male, straight white male P, like Biden, the next question is, out of the gay female people of color, who's the best? | |
| There could be the perfect vice president there. | |
| Like, Tucker, arguably, would be the perfect vice president, but not only will it not happen, it has to be Vivek. | |
| Rhymes with cake. | |
| So, he does this weird interview where he's charming. | |
| Tucker is, obviously. | |
| He laughs. | |
| He says, who blew up the Nordstrom pipeline? | |
| And Putin says, you. | |
| And he goes, well, I was busy that day. | |
| And he goes, well, you might have an alibi, but the CIA does not. | |
| Very anti-CIA. | |
| He goes off for a half hour history lesson at the beginning, which is true and boring. | |
| I find Russian history really dull, especially when you compare it to American history. | |
| But it was like most of what he said was corny. | |
| Yeah, I think it made me realize how totally incompetent our country is. | |
| Like it's not just Biden. | |
| He's and I don't like that. | |
| I'm not sure I totally go with this whole like, oh, it doesn't matter who's in charge. | |
| They're just a puppet. | |
| I don't know. | |
| I mean, Pete Buttigieg is the head of infrastructure in America. | |
| He takes a year off for his kid, and our infrastructure couldn't be worse. | |
| We've got these toxic explosions in Ohio all the time, and driving around the Bronx feels like driving around Iraq. | |
| It's everywhere. | |
| AOC has ruined the Bronx. | |
| The schools could not have worse records. | |
| No one can read. | |
| None of these public schools. | |
| The teachers can't read. | |
| In the Bronx. | |
| You should drive around this neighborhood that AOC has rescued. | |
| It is turd world. | |
| There's, you've heard of impacted feces. | |
| Around our studio there's impacted garbage. | |
| Where it doesn't get picked up, it gets run over, and then it keeps running over again until it sort of becomes petrified and part of the road. | |
| That's all over the South Bronx. | |
| Murder is every day. | |
| And AOC's reaction to all that is, well, a lot of them are homeless because they're gay. | |
| What? | |
| Their parents in the South Bronx, too, like anyone would give a shit. | |
| You can't even tell with Puerto Ricans half the time, the way they dress, the way they all wear a purse these days. | |
| Yeah, she goes, yeah, they come home and they get kicked out of the house. | |
| That's why they're not in school. | |
| And they're tired because they slept at a shelter. | |
| Just made up stuff, nothing to back it up. | |
| Gavin Newsom ruined California. | |
| So the Joe Biden thing is not that unusual. | |
| What were the highlights of the interview? | |
| I hope it's just playing in the background here. | |
| Everyone used to use the U.S. | |
| dollar, now nobody does because of your sanctions. | |
| We wanted to join NATO, says Putin. | |
| You said no, and then you encroached on our territory five times. | |
| Douche. | |
| He wanted to resolve Ukraine and work it out. | |
| He had a bunch of plans on how to do that. | |
| He explains all the plans and he says, Boris Johnson, the UK, and you guys probably, he doesn't have proof of the latter, wrecked the negotiation. | |
| So yeah, you got to remember this is a propagandist and he's corrupt, but trust, but verify, you All right, $25, $35, $40. | |
| I think we'll go behind the paywall now. | |
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| Yeah, that's bad. | |
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| That code works for everything except the for sale items, obviously. | |
| And yes, you should subscribe to Censored.TV. | |
| It's a wee bit of sanity and a little gone mad. | |
| We have an almost zero cancellation rate and an almost 100% re-up rate. | |
| With the subs, it's a wee bit of sanity in a world gone mad. | |
| It's funny that these last Friday shows have been so serious because it's supposed to be just spin the wheel to see what subject you're going to talk about and goof off. | |
| But I don't know, I wanted to cover Killer Mike and the handicapped people getting laid and I can't sleep on the James O'Keefe illegal alien thing. | |
| It kind of relates to Biden. | |
| So, these past few free shows have been pretty... They've been kind of the most serious show of the week. | |
| But we have some new shirts in. | |
| I'm gonna take these home and wash them before I wear them on the show, because... Brand new shirt has a weird shape. | |
| I love Karens. | |
| The only... We used to hate them. | |
| They've terrorized me and my family, but... I gotta admit, when it comes to, like... Telling someone they shouldn't be fishing there... | |
| It seems like the Karens are the only ones doing it. | |
| And then these I found in an old box at the Clumia Studio. | |
| It's the Gavin McInnes Show. | |
| This is the show that begot the Proud Boys. | |
| And so, I Like You More Than a Friend, the Gavin McInnes Show, we air those on the weekend. | |
| I think I'm going to be airing the Red Pilled America podcast instead this weekend. | |
| So you can take that in, that'll probably be free. | |
| And, uh, all right, let's do this. | |
| Let's introduce my pet Biden. | |
| And then after the first example of that, we will go behind the paper. | |
| My fucking post woman and I do not get along. | |
| She called, she's Jamaican. | |
| She called me a pain in the ass. | |
| But every time she puts the mail in, she just like slams the fucking thing in. | |
| Anyway, so cue My Pet Biden. | |
| My pet. | |
| Biden. | |
| On him I can depend. | |
| My pet. | |
| Biden. | |
| A monster of a president. | |
| He's big and blue and sleepy. | |
| But a friendly monster too. | |
| My pet. | |
| Biden. | |
| Wait, that doesn't rhyme. | |
| All right. | |
| So what did he get up to with this pathetic seven minute press conference that was just so embarrassing? | |
| I don't know. | |
| I mean, the leader of the free world has been deemed unimpeachable because he's not mentally sound enough to prosecute. | |
| So the fact that he brought those documents home is perfectly acceptable because he's Mr. Magoo. | |
| Okay. | |
| If that's true, then he can't be president. | |
| It can't even be the nominee. | |
| And I think that's what the DNC and the FBI and the CIA are saying. | |
| They're like, yeah, we're officially certifying him as retard. | |
| What a retard in this episode. | |
| So this is 1-9. | |
| Let's hear what he's done for the conflict in the West Bank, in Gaza, in Israel. | |
| We obviously have a lot of refugees they want to They want to go to Lebanon, they want to go to Egypt. | |
| Where can they go? | |
| They can go to Mexico. | |
| As you know, initially, the president of Mexico, Sisi... The president of Egypt, his last name is El Sisi. | |
| The president of Mexico was named AMLO. | |
| Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador. | |
| Everyone just calls him AMLO, the acronym. | |
| The President of Mexico? | |
| Is that more people fucking with my mailbox? | |
| Sorry. | |
| Did not want to open up the gate to allow humanitarian material to get in. | |
| Humanitarian material to get in. | |
| I talked to him. | |
| I convinced him to open the gate. | |
| I talked to Bibi to open the gate on the Israeli side. | |
| So he talked to Bibi. | |
| That's his pal over in Israel. | |
| And said, open the gate. | |
| I don't know what he's talking about, though. | |
| Like, Bibi wasn't allowing humanitarian aid into Israel? | |
| I don't think that was a thing. | |
| Um, but yeah. | |
| Okay, so we're gonna go behind the paywall now. | |
| I'm gonna get into what this committee that investigated him decided. | |
| They called him a well-meaning elderly man with no memory. | |
| And then he defends himself by saying, I'm dealing with the Middle East. | |
| I talked to Mexico. | |
| He confused Egypt and Mexico. | |
| And he did it while defending his mental state. | |
| Fish kiss. |