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Jan. 8, 2024 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
59:59
S5E39 - THE LAST EPISODE (FREE)

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Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes. it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
I I would like to thank 90s punk for helping me grow up and get out of punk.
Because, you know, I was into it as a young man in the early 80s, 84 around, 13, 83.
And that was a great time for punk.
around 1383 and that was a great time for punk.
It started out, well everyone says it started out in New York, The name might have come up.
Suicide, the band was talking about in the early 70s.
But we all know.
What do you think of when you think of a punk rocker?
You think of a postcard with the blue mohawk and all that stuff.
That was Britain.
CBGB scene was like just art rock.
Talking heads and television.
Go fuck yourselves.
It was the Sex Pistols and the Clash.
Everyone says the Ramones started it.
The Ramones were an accident.
I explained all this on Twitter.
That was Sha Na Na on Ritalin.
Rockabilly was big then because everyone who was making culture was writing about their formative years.
So you had the Fonz and American Graffiti and Sha Na Na.
You had all this this Rockabilly stuff because these 25 year olds were, or these 30 year olds, were remembering their teens.
Fucking Twisted Sister had to go to Britain because no one was interested in glam rock.
You know, outside of the New York Dolls, which were not popular.
So it was all about Britain, and it came from glam, really.
So the Sex Pistols in the Clash, and yes, the Ramones did play there very early, before the Sex Pistols and the Clash, but that was, they were a genetic accident.
They were guys from Queens, morons, basically retards.
If you ever heard an interview with D.D.
Ramone, they were trying to do rockabilly, and I think they were nervous and they played too fast.
But the Clash already had a set list when the Ramones played there.
The Sex Pistols already had a set list.
They played like days later.
You think a band plays and they go, hey, I'm gonna start a band.
Boom!
A week later, you have a band in a set list?
Anyway, it was British.
And that was too young for me.
I was seven in 77.
But I kind of like my era.
You know, crass anarcho-punk and D-rock with Discharge and GBH.
And at the beginning, it was just dress silly.
You know, put a safety pin in your nose.
Put on one rubber boot and one fucking sandal.
But by the time I was into it in 83, 84, it was like leather, bristles, studs, and neck.
You had the boots, you had the bondage pants, you had the leather jacket covering studs, you had your hair was as elaborate as possible.
It was a lot of arts and crafts, really.
Sewing on badges and shit.
Tri-hawk, leopard skin, and then the mohawk.
And that was fun.
And then we started getting into the late 80s, and by the time the late 80s came around, it was getting, it was starting to splinter.
And there was this, anarcho-punk with crass turned into like napalm death crustcore.
And I'm a fag, at heart.
So I liked Bow Wow Wow, and you know, what were they called?
Vice Squad.
You know, there had to be an element of pop to it.
It was just like shitty rock, really.
And, uh, I couldn't get with the anarcho stuff.
And I was like, I'm 20 now, I should probably... There's nothing sadder than an old punk.
Like, you can't have a mohawk, pause for a bald spot, and then start up again.
And it always looks weird when you have facial hair and you're punk, right?
Like a beard and a mohawk?
What?
What are you, Destiny?
And I needed to grow up.
And then, N.W.A.
came along, and they seemed even more dangerous.
I mean, it sounds fucking lame now, but they seemed more dangerous than, like, the sex pistols.
So I was happy to jump on that train and say goodbye to my youth.
And I just, I was like an ex-girlfriend.
Like, I was just like, shoom!
Punk's dead to me.
So much so that when Adrian Brody was in that movie, Son of Sam, and they had the punk scene, I started to cry in the theater, because I realized I hadn't thought about punk for like 20 years.
Now that I'm old, I can talk about it all the time.
It's sort of like a war vet, you know?
They don't wear their hat and their shirts that say, you know, the squadron or whatever, the battalion, for like 20 years.
And then, when they've been a vet for 20 years, they start going to the reunions and wearing the hat that says Vietnam vet and all that stuff.
And I think that's healthy.
You got to sort of like push away your youth.
You don't want to live in the past.
That's sad.
As Jello Biafra said, the only thing sadder than living in the past is living off the past.
Because he got all these dead Kennedys.
Royalties.
Anyway, I've been talking about it a lot on Twitter because Green Day was in the news shitting on us.
And uh... The Kress Corps was one thing.
The 90s West Coast scene was another thing.
And it sucked.
There was Dead Kennedys, good.
X, bad.
There was the Germs.
They had the look, but no one has a Germ song in their head all day.
And there was West Coast Hardcore that was good.
Oh my god, I forgot everything.
What the fuck am I doing?
I skipped a whole major phase.
In the early 80s, as punk was dying, GBH and all that stuff, I was sort of there at this transition.
There was hardcore.
I feel like re-recording the show.
There was hardcore.
That's America taking British punk and saying, this is gay, there's too many frills.
The classic America, right?
Fast, cheap, and easy.
So cut off, just wear a sweatshirt and jeans and shave your head, minor threat, black flag, and just scream and make it as fast as you can.
And that was great too.
I love that too.
Our band was more of a punk band, but we played with hardcore bands.
And hardcore had a life.
Sorry about that.
Jesus.
I gotta be totally honest.
I haven't worn this blazer in years and I found some cocaine.
So I'm kind of all over the map.
This is like, this must be seven years old.
And so I may have done a little toot before the show.
Hardcore was awesome and the great thing about hardcore was punk said you're London or New York or you're garbage.
And hardcore said the opposite.
They said fuck London, fuck New York.
Your little scene is a cool scene.
And so Maximum Rock and Roll would have these scene reports.
I was in it once.
We talked about the Ottawa scene.
They'd talk about Gary, Indiana hardcore.
And they'd list all the bands.
And then you could correspond with these people via the letters page and send them a tape of, you know, a mixtape of your bands.
I was trading tapes in all over Europe with different bands.
It was fun.
And then when I went to Europe on this sort of squatter tour, I got to meet all these people and we were like Amish.
We had the bond of punk and I'd stay on their floor.
They'd stay on our floor when they came.
I came to Montreal, all the bands said, I go, what do you want to do?
Name it.
And they go, we want to sit on your stoop and look at chicks because girls in Montreal are fucking hot.
Um, so British punk, late seventies, early eighties, it really refined itself, but then it imploded.
Hardcore was happy to take over the baton and run till 1990 and then The West Coast said, let's give it a try.
West Coast doesn't have any suffering.
They're too laid back.
They're not confrontational.
So they made gay music.
And that's when you had Blink-182 and what were they called?
Lag Wagon and Face to Face and Green Day.
And because they're losers, they wore shorts on stage and they would try to sing nice.
What are you doing?
That's not the deal.
Like, punk was like, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh.
And then hardcore was like, fuck you!
And then punk came along and was like, don't wanna be an American idiot!
90s punk.
So that's when I was like, finally, I got an out.
And the proof is in the pudding.
The proof that these guys were fucking sellouts is they got rich.
Offspring, Green Day, kazillionaires.
That also wasn't the deal.
The origins of punk are like, pay no more than four pounds 50.
My heart is racing.
So yeah, just show that one too.
This is them.
Look how old he bloated he is.
He's not a part of the MAGA agenda.
So you're part of the Biden agenda then.
You got to pick a side there, Joey.
I think my wife may have slept with him.
No.
Yep.
Oh boy.
At least it's not the drummer.
My wife was in that scene, the fat record scene with Fat Mike.
Oh my God.
He has a punk museum and it is the least punk thing on earth.
First of all, he doesn't even differentiate between punk and hardcore.
So Bow Wow Wow is the same as Black Flag.
And he injects all this PC shit into it.
Now, as I explained on a Twitter thread, punk was not PC.
Yes, it lent, it lent, leaned?
Lent?
Lent left, especially with Joe Strummer and all his socialist bullshit, which he had because he grew up rich.
And when you travel the world as a rich person, you see the best of every culture.
But, oh, is that George Flopadopoulos?
Okay, so you walk into the Punk Museum in Vegas, and Fat Mike basically curated it, and he says, I want people to walk in and feel inclusive.
So I have Pauly Styrene from the X-Ray Specs, who was black.
Look, you wrote punk in a black flag font.
Look, and he goes, I got this chick from the bags.
He focuses on the West Coast.
No one knows who the fucking bags were, dude.
The germs suck, and he's got a gay guy from Against Me.
So he starts with inclusiveness, with diversity in the punk museum, which is not what it was about.
It wasn't anti-diverse, but it didn't have a political agenda like that.
that.
The political agenda was just fuck the world.
And they had that whole we're white trash with their ironic bowling shirts.
No, dude.
You must have big plans.
I like, you know, go to 1-3.
There's a line in it where Joey Armstrong says, I guess I'm just a faggot because I'm not MAGA or something like that.
And you're like, OK, we're on the same page here.
Green Day sells Donald Trump shirts for charity.
Ultimate Nimrod.
Did I ever tell you what the, I show you what a palm bump is?
No.
Oh, the palm bump.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Okay, this is what you do.
You concentrate the cocaine on the center of your hand, right?
You do this in a bar.
You can do this in front of a cop.
Anyone who does a bump like this, they're going to see you, bro.
They have a mental vocabulary.
And if a bartender sees it in his peripheral vision, he's going to be like, you're out of here.
But there's no vocabulary for this.
Like this has background.
You go like this to someone, they don't register it, because it's not a thing.
So this doesn't have any kind of context.
So I've got a little bump here, as concentrated as possible.
You know where your nostrils are, right?
And you just go, oh, what a day.
What a day, what a day.
And people always say, well, you get chunks all over your, Yes, you do get a little bit on your forehead, a little bit in your hair, maybe like 3%.
Uh, is that me demonstrating the palm bump?
I did one.
What are you doing?
Oh.
Putting it through your hair too also helps.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
You lose, you lose maybe five to ten percent of the bump.
Oh well.
That's not, that's not a lot.
You just got 95% up your nose.
And my, Eddie Moretti, who I hear now lives in his car, from Vice Films, he was, I showed him, we were at a bar, uh, 9B, on the corner of 9th and B. Same block as Niagara, but on B. I think it's called 9B.
Anyway, um, I, shh, right now I'm thinking 10A.
Anyway, the bar is the address.
And he goes, yeah, yeah, whatever.
And then he does the normal one, and goes, pfft.
And the bartender goes, are you fucking kidding me, dude?
Are you serious?
And he goes, what?
And he goes, get the fuck out of here.
He wasn't even at the bar.
He was at a table away from the bar.
But the bartender sussed it out.
I'm sitting there with a few chunks in my bangs.
Can I order another beer, please, bartender?
You've got really bad dandruff, dude.
Oh.
Oh, well.
We'll get some head and shoulders on the way home.
You know what Green Day and all those shitty 90s West Coast bands were?
Sorry West Coast, you weren't really a thing.
They were just like a pop band.
Green Day's a pop band, like The Squeeze.
This was 90s hardcore.
Play 14A.
I met a girl from Clapham.
That's Blake 182.
Imagine liking Blink-182.
I do.
I don't have to imagine.
Yeah.
Exhibit A. This guy likes them.
Anyway.
I fell in love!
Is that the song?
I fell in love with a girl at the rock show?
You don't do love songs, you fags!
Do you forgive the... when he spilled the apple juice in the hall?
Please tell mom it was not her fault.
I'm gonna barf.
Anyway, thank you to 90s Hardcore, to Green Day, for helping me quit punk and move on with my life.
Unfortunately, I wasted a lot of time in rap.
And then, in the 90s, it was all about EDM, electronic dance music.
And I re-listened to, like, Carl Cox recently, and I was like, wow, we must have been fucking high on GHB and MDMA, because this music blows.
In my book, I don't even include that entire time of my life, like 94 to 98, because it was just going to clubs and dancing high and making out with chicks that were your friends.
Not even fucking them.
Gay, in other words.
Speaking of music, you came into the studio the other day.
What did Elon Musk say?
I'm not happy with the... Oh yeah, he just said what I said, where you're not part of the MAGA agenda.
So yeah, you're... Go down to his tweet, obviously.
Oh, they don't show it?
What does he say?
Green Day goes from raging against the machine to milk-toastedly raging for it.
Well yeah, look at the way they talk about the vaccine.
All these punk bands saying, we're not playing a show unless you're vaccinated.
Fuck you.
That's a perfect example of the death of punk.
But you came in talking about that rap lyric, and it reminded me of a few things I want to talk about in music.
Which rap lyric?
What?
The rap lyric?
Wow, your brain is amazing.
You came into the studio.
Oh to you personally yeah yeah it was yeah it was I thought you meant like in the show on the show I was like I don't remember bringing that up but yeah there's this song saying that uh kings your king's crown will crumble to the earth and we're and then it says well we're all kings.
It's funny listening to rap at the gym because you realize how fucking retarded it is.
Yeah.
Do you have the song?
Uh yeah I can pull it back up.
Because it reminded me of, I was at the gym and they were playing fucking Rihanna, T.I., Paper Chaser.
And in that song, it says, just live your life.
You know, you're always chasing that paper.
And it means, like, don't always be trying to chase that paper.
Like, it's a kind of a good message.
And it's like, don't take things for granted.
Just, like, enjoy yourself in the moment.
Right?
Is this it?
Life is an end. - Sittin' there like.
'Cause in the song, Rihanna's so stupid that she shows up to do this song.
I don't think she read the lyrics.
Cause at the end of the song she goes, cause I'm a paper chaser, living your life.
Yeah.
No, you're not supposed to be chasing paper, Rihanna.
That's not the point of the stupid garbage song, which is all about T.I.
saying that he's a legend and you're all following in his footsteps.
She forgot the meaning of her own song.
Yeah.
It reminds me of this jungle song we used to listen to back in the EDM days, and it was like, African people, it was a jungle song, going on in the background, and she's like, African people, respect your heritage, and then the music slows down and she goes, your heritage, it's detrimental that you remember it.
And I'm like, did no one in the studio know that word?
No one at the CD company?
No one anywhere?
You have your stupid song yet?
There's another one too.
In New York, concrete, this is what my friend Jesse points us out, concrete jungle where dreams are made of.
Yeah?
Say that, say that to yourself.
Concrete jungle.
Well that's not the end of the world.
The concrete jungle where dreams are made of.
What the fuck is that?
I get it now.
Where dreams are made of.
There's no way that that makes sense.
Yeah, that's terrible.
I've heard it so many times that I never noticed where dreams are made of.
Concrete jungle where dreams are made of.
Yeah, because it's already a weird contradiction that it's a concrete jungle is bad.
Right.
So you could be like, it's a concrete jungle, but it's where dreams are made.
Right.
Maybe that's the point.
It's like, you know... But made of.
No one can speak English anymore.
That's one of the worst parts about getting back on Twitter is I'm seeing fucking how illiterate everyone is.
This is the guy's little speech.
Is that Kodak Black?
Is that Kodak Black?
No, J. Cole.
Oh, he's the one I'm about to blow up.
Is that him?
Yeah.
This is what I work out to at the gym.
You know what rap is?
It's retards writing poems and being philosophical.
It's retarded philosophers telling me about life.
No thanks!
I'm not looking for tips from you.
You've never read a book in your life.
You don't know what 8 times 7 is.
And you're telling me how to improve my surroundings?
Fuck you.
Who's the king?
We are kings.
Kings of ourselves, first and foremost.
While the people debate who's the king of this rap game, here comes Lil' Ol' Jermaine with every ounce of strength in his veins to snatch the crown from whoever y'all think has it.
But rather than place it on his head as soon as he grabs it, poof, boom, pow, it's like magic.
With a flash and a bang, the crown disintegrates and falls to the earth from which it came.
It's done.
Ain't gonna be no more kings. - And it claims 'cause deep down he claims Got it.
You and I. Different kind of skin.
Different set of eyes.
Two different minds.
But when I'm in tune with the most high, I realize The fear lies in my lack of awareness of the other side Today I know that we are the same You and I Different kind of skin Different set of eyes Two different minds But only one guy For all the kings For all the kings.
But there's going to be no more kings.
The kings are bad.
And there's going to be no more.
It's just, it's, it's retards.
We're dealing with low IQs.
It's like at the beginning of Fleckus Talks, where he's interviewing that Antifa guy.
And he goes, well, basically because actions are more powerful than words and, but words are also powerful and they can have more power than actions, but also actions speak louder than both words and actions combined.
And we need actions and words.
Like you shouldn't be, I'm not criticizing people for not philosophizing.
That's fine.
If you don't have any tips, that's cool.
It's like my dad, every time he starts telling me about something, I go, I'm not looking for tips, okay?
I'm not looking for tips.
That might be the name of today's episode.
Speaking of family, dude, I have a major problem with my family.
Going out for dinner.
They never finish their fucking main course.
And the waiter comes by and they fill up on bread and then I have a bunch of leftovers rotting in the fridge that get thrown out.
And so now I say, no bread.
And then my wife was like, can we not do this?
I go, It's the only solution, my dear.
And you know what she did on New Year's Eve, by the way?
She snuck some bread when I went pee.
I come back and my youngest has bread in his mouth.
And I look at her, and then they pick at their entree and don't finish it.
And I tried to do this death stare of like, like you happy now?
But it didn't, she didn't see it, I don't know.
I just went like, and I think she was, maybe she had some wine, it didn't work.
And then if you get the no bread, they'll order like two sprites while they're waiting for the food.
That's almost as bad.
You're still filling up your stomach.
So it's either tense with me saying, no, no, that's enough.
That's enough.
No, no, no, no, no.
And then my wife was like, why do you got to make this a hassle?
Or I watch a bunch of people drink or consume maybe $7 of beverages with free bread.
And then just, can you box this up?
No one's having more than a fucking bite.
I even said to my daughter, you know what?
From now on, if you don't eat more than half of your entree, you're paying for it.
It's driving me fucking crazy.
And if they had no drinks and no bread, they would devour their entree.
And I'm happy.
By the way, my dinner on New Year's Eve was $1,000.
It was $500 in advance and then all the drinks and extras we got was another $300 and then the tip.
But I said, I'm glad I remembered this.
So the bad news is no one ate their fucking steaks because they had FUCKING BREAD!
The good news is, my teenage boy, my 15 year old, is just a garbage compactor.
So he's like taking all their steak.
And that, I don't care if it gets eaten.
I'll spend a thousand bucks as long as it goes into mouths.
And I was so happy that he was eating everyone else's steak after devouring his own, that I said, nothing I like better than seeing meat go into my boy.
And then I go, oh wait, that doesn't sound very good.
So that became a running joke on the vacation.
Or another one, another funny moment on the vacation was we go to the souvenir shop by the, uh, by the border.
By the way, that has a huge sign that says Fire, uh, Cracklers?
Yeah, Fire Cracklers.
It's like, ah, they're called firecrackers, dude.
Could that be a colloquialism?
Is somebody from the Midwest going to be like, that's what we call it around here.
The Midwest?
This is a Québécois.
We're at the border in Quebec, genius.
Maybe they're traveling?
They own a souvenir store.
That's a long commute.
So I'm looking around the whole store, it's just like, Montreal, Canada, and just like these boring milquetoast shirts.
There's no humor there.
And when we were in old Montreal, there's all these jokes shirts, like Chocolats that say, Sucum and Butt, which means I'm drunk as a boot.
And a poutine hour snow globe, but it's poutine inside.
And I was like, I was talking to my daughter, and I'm like, how come there's nothing funny in here?
Like, Quebecois people, French Canadians, are humorous.
They don't work.
They just drink all day, so of course you're gonna joke around.
And then I was like, and she goes, what do you mean?
I go, I don't know, like, someone mooning, and like, I saw someone's butt in Montreal.
And then she's laughing her head off, and then we realize, that would be an awesome shirt.
I saw someone's butt in Montreal.
It's a guy mooning, right?
And he's looking back at you, and it just says, I saw someone's butt in Montreal.
That is good.
I'm going to make it.
Let's make it for the site.
Couldn't hurt.
And the cartoon will be like, maybe you guys at home could do some.
Look up Viz Comics.
It should look like something out of Viz.
Hey, look up Viz Comics mooning.
Although Britain isn't big on mooning for some reason.
Maybe they have shitty asses.
Maybe because of the time zone, they call it sunning.
Okay.
Like that kind of quality.
What's that guy, Biff?
Fizz is the funniest fucking thing in the world.
There's the fat slags.
Such quality.
I guess I gotta mention this stupid cup, right?
The Starbucks cup.
I had chicken with poutine this time.
I don't like people messing with the recipe, but chicken and gravy is fucking amazing and it's the extra boost of protein.
It's been a minute since I shared some meat with my boys.
He made the same mistake I did.
Yeah.
It's been a minute since I shared some meat with my boys.
Did you see this?
People lining up for a cup?
You probably like this.
You probably like me.
You probably want this cup.
I probably didn't hear the link number.
This is 1-6.
Oh, okay.
4 a.m.
They must have market value, right?
I bet if you look them up on eBay, they're worth something.
Like, 4 a.m., I assume the store opens at, what, 9?
So, 5 hours.
Minimum wage, $75.
So, bare minimum, they should be worth $75.
Right?
A hundred bucks.
Maybe.
I thought that was a... Why do you want... Dear woman of the world, why do you want that fucking stupid cup so bad?
You know what I was happy to see, though?
You know we love Karens here at Censored.TV.
And, uh... I love them.
Why are you in this neighborhood?
Do you live here?
What are you... Why are you in this pool?
Are you a thief?
Good.
Men aren't doing it.
That guy yesterday who believes he can fly, who jumped over to attack the judge, all these dudes were just sitting there going, what?
This guy buds in front of the stupid line I just showed you, and who's there to save the day?
Fucking Karen.
You rock, K-Dawg.
So his point is you didn't stick in your line formation.
They've been there since 3 a.m.
So yeah, they can mingle a little bit.
You're not going to protect me.
So I got over here.
No, because you have to get to the end of the line.
There was no line.
There is no line.
You were in a circle over here.
Because we already knew our place.
It does happen.
So his point is you didn't stick in your line formation.
They've been there since 3 a.m.
So yeah, they can mingle a little bit.
But there's clearly a line.
And by the way, he's lining up for this stupid gay cup that's for girls.
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, Don't you want to pound him?
God, I want his glasses to go flying off his face.
Some people you want to choke.
Some people you want to just throw on the ground.
This is a punch guy.
And I want it to connect.
I want it to be perfect.
Right?
Just square, like dictionary definition, bonk.
So the glasses go whoosh.
So it's a Barbie thing?
No, it's a Starbucks pink cup.
Maybe it's a Barbie thing.
I don't think so.
Barbie's like a while ago now.
Is it a collaboration?
Um... That's crazy that that exists.
Also an important news.
This isn't breaking, but this... Every episode, there's a lot of freeloaders watching now because this is the free app.
Oh, we're not doing ads?
Oh, shit!
It's alright.
I forgot about the ads.
It's okay.
I'm very high strung for some reason.
Easy.
Can you print them out?
I certainly, yes.
Take us easy.
Every episode we take on wedgie news.
And there's a woman who's suing for a wedgie.
This is 17 AAA.
A.
The suit pertains to an incident that took place on October 14, 2019 on the Humonga-Cowabunga water slide.
During a two-week visit to Walt Disney World by plaintiffs Emma and Edward McGuinness, must be related to me, and their family, the family visited the resort in part to celebrate Emma McGuinness' 30th birthday.
The slide, which Disney builds on its website as near vertical five-story drop in the dark, descends 214 feet and plunges riders into A pool of water at the end of the ride.
The suit, which was filed last week in circuit court for Orange County, Florida, alleges that Disney knew or should have known of the risk of painful quote-unquote wedgies, particularly for women.
Now, I don't quite get the biology of that.
Do they know what a wedgie is, these lawyers?
Specifically, when a rider of the slide reached the bottom of the ride and traveled into the pool of water designed to stop further travel, the force of the water can push loose garments into a person's anatomy.
An event known as a wedgie.
An event.
Who knew it?
Hey man, don't forget October 3rd.
Wedgie!
I guess it was an event in high school because you'd say, I'm going to fucking wedgie you after school, nerd.
Yeah.
I saw a butt at Typhoon Lagoon and somebody got sued for it.
A wedgie is not when your panties are inserted into your uterus.
A wedgie is when your underwear gets pulled into your butt cheeks, but not into your body.
That'd be my first thing if I was a defense.
Can we define wedgie?
Bring in some wedgie experts.
I volunteer.
Hopefully this isn't too haram.
It's a girl.
What's that?
Motorcycle gives you a wedgie.
Yeah, like, don't go on water slides if your vagina's that cavernous.
Are we going up her vagina right now?
Yeah, this is the view of the underwear.
Those are her boyfriend's feet.
I went backwards and... They want $50,000.
Also in wedgie news, the next link, 17 AAA.
This is pretty typical of wedgie news.
Stepfather, stepson get in a fight.
The stepfather was talking trash about the guy's mother because they're getting divorced.
Don't talk about mom that way.
You can't come into my life, fuck my mother, literally motherfucker.
And so they got in a fight.
The stepfather threw a TV at him.
And that's when he decided, you're about to die of an atomic wedgie, my friend.
...murder case to tell you about tonight.
A man is dead and his stepson is in jail after a fight leads to what's called an atomic wedgie.
Stop!
- Stop, stop, stop. - Police say the two got into a fist fight after the step-- - When I was in eighth grade in the special class, we were on a school trip and we were pressing hams, which is when you pull down your pants and you push it on the window.
You can press a ham on the window by your seat, or you go to the back of the bus, and that's the best place to press a ham, really, because all the other cars can see you're pressed ham.
James, no, Jim Gunn, Mr. Gunn freaked the fuck out.
This is a Diabri Moody High and he comes back and he goes, there is no way as representatives of Diabri Moody Junior High, you are going to be out there exposing your buttocks to strangers.
And one of the kids in my class goes, it's called a ham.
It's no, I wrecked it.
He goes, it's called pressing a ham, Mr. Gunn.
Holy fuck.
Was he upset?
Yes, he got more upset.
We were, like, you know those ones where you're worried you're gonna asphyxiate yourself?
Like, I was trying to throw air into my head because I was dying, like, on the ground.
You don't laugh like that in your old age.
But I was fucking dead hearing him have to correct, or he didn't correct it, but getting, pressing a ham wrong.
And that reminded me of that newscaster talking about an atomic wedgie like it's 9-11.
An atomic wedgie.
Known, usually known only by bullies who are picking on nerds, they have now leaked into the mainstream.
And people are dying in droves of this deadly form of wedgie.
It was believed in the Middle Ages this was a form of torture coming from the Latin term, Wedgetius Atomicus.
I told you about it at Earl of March High School where we had this game, you kick a piece of garbage in the air and whoever lets it fall first gets an atomic wedgie.
An atomic wedgie, by the way, is when you rip the waistband off.
And after lunch, there'd be like four waistbands lying around in the area we used to hang out in.
And it was all voluntary.
So we get caught once by this teacher and she goes, what the hell is going on?
She chooses the two punk rockers, of course, because she watches too many Death Wish movies and she thinks the bad guys have like...
Leather jackets on.
And we go, oh, we're giving Colin Sacco a wedgie because he let the garbage fall.
And she goes, you, you, principal's office now.
I've told the story a hundred times.
It's in my book, I think.
And so we go to the principal's office and he goes, what is it today, Darlene?
He's obviously sick of her constantly Bustin' chops.
And she goes, these two boys were trying to insert a wedge of wood into a boy's anus.
And we both go, what?
When you put it that way.
And the prince was like, it's called a wedgie, darling.
When I used to get write-ups.
Imagine giving a wedgie and you're trying to make it sexual.
Yeah.
Like you're with the girl and you're like, oh, you like that?
She's like, what?
Well, I haven't really sussed out this page, but it's just a page of two guys giving each other, him giving him wedgies.
Oh, that's very gay.
This is accessible porn.
Okay, I don't want to watch this.
Go back to the newscaster.
But what a weird channel.
It's just, it's sex, dummy.
Are we sure?
Yes.
Get it off my screen!
You moron!
I don't know if that's sex.
It's, yes, it is.
It's how gays get to watch gay stuff.
Oh.
It's about his mother and their upcoming divorce.
But then the fight escalated to the point where the stepson pulled his stepfather's underwear over his head.
I believe the fixie was caused due to what they're referring to as an atomic wedgie.
The gentleman had actually pulled the underwear of Mr. St.
Clair up over his head and the elastic band was around his throat.
What?
I don't even get the physics of that.
Did you have the stretchiest underwear in the world?
What were you wearing?
Rubber underwear?
How do you get, like, I've done a lot of atomic wedgies, and the waistband starts to give way about a third of the way up your back.
You might make it to the shoulder blades before, but even if it does go over your head, Now it's like, it doesn't choke you.
What if this is a spot for Fruit of the Loom?
They're like, but that was a pair of Haynes with the new Fruit of the Loom Extra Stretch.
You will not die of atomic wedges.
So I can't believe I've gone this far into the show without discussing my pre-workout, which I'm on two things right now.
Expired cocaine and Purple Works Nutrition, which I don't recommend.
I recommend Purple Works, just not the coke part.
It's the beginning of the new year, and you know what that means.
It means people will get off their fat ass and get to the gym.
Then they will sink back into the couch as their New Year's Eve resolutions fade, as their New Year's resolutions fade into oblivion.
The gym was packed today, by the way.
And Big John pointed out, this is people and their New Year's resolutions.
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You have to get it out of your system.
It's true.
So, I got there and I thought, I know, I'll just fight Big John for three rounds, and then I'll go home, because that's more than I can usually handle.
You condense an hour workout into fucking nine minutes.
But you know what Big John did?
He fought me the first round, and then when I wasn't looking, he switched out this pro, Huey, who just started beating the shit out of me.
And I was like, as I'm getting pounded, I'm like, thanks, John!
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Do not mix Purpleworks with anything.
Not even coffee.
Like if I do Purpleworks, I don't have a coffee that day because it's got a lot of caffeine in it.
They offer both, but only do one at a time.
Correct.
And don't die like the people drinking the Panera drinks.
What are the Panera drinks?
They have these caffeine drinks in there and people... oh.
Long day.
Pom.
Um, okay.
You know what I wanted to talk about for a while now?
There's lots of news.
Farmers are kicking ass all over Europe.
We could get to that.
But there's this conservative calendar that's out.
And the prudes are upset.
And I think it's a great example of the trouble with, with conservatism is.
And I think it's why I'm vilified so badly is because I said, no, you don't have to be a square.
You don't have to be Ben Shapiro to be on the right.
There's cool people on the right too, like me.
Uh, where the fuck is it now?
Farmers?
Pet peeves?
Hot chicks, yeah.
4-4-A?
4-4-A.
And so I got into an interesting argument on Twitter where I was like, shut up nerds, you can admire women.
It's cool.
And women should, they shouldn't show their pussies and OnlyFans is disgusting and I'm against masturbation and I'm against porn, but like hot chicks like Isabella DeLuca, she should be posting sexy pictures of herself because It's advertising, and she'll get a better man if you cast a wider net.
But would she take them down after she gets a man?
Yeah, she should.
But this is an MLB guy, a baseball player, Aubrey Huff.
This catfight between Isabella DeLuca and Rachel for patriarchy is proof that most of today's women even know their sexuality is all they bring to the table, complete with a desperate need for attention, crippling debt, drama, delusional self-worth, and a complete lack of accountability.
And then below that is Rachel criticizing her.
No, go back.
Rachel is criticizing Isabella.
I think she was in the calendar.
I haven't really seen the calendar.
But it's like women in conservative, like, cooking dinner, but they have high-heeled shoes on and stuff.
There's no, like, pussy shots.
So Rachel's saying, I'm not hating, I'm not even saying she can't post sexy pictures.
Try to pay attention to what I'm actually saying.
It's not what you think I mean.
I'm saying it's an insult to my intelligence to tell me that she's on here to post conservative political content.
And to that I respond, yeah, she's there to do both.
Show pretty pictures of herself and post conservative content.
So that isn't specifically about the calendar.
Maybe you could pull up the calendar.
We should show examples, but fucking talk about a gotcha moment.
Isabella then posts, is this you?
And shows Aubrey sliding into her DMs.
He's a married man.
He said to her, Hey, beautiful.
Let's collab over cocktails and bad decisions.
Proud father.
Fucking boob.
What a moron.
So he just deleted all his social media.
What an absolute fucking boob.
Like if you're going to be a lech, a perv, okay, that's a route to take, but don't go criticizing women when you've given them all this fodder, dumbass.
Well, there was another thing too with the, what's it called?
Tobin Abasi?
No, that's a guitar player.
Who's that guy with the weird name?
Who was the God, the Redfield God, Red Pill Godfather?
What are you talking about?
You never heard of that guy?
Red Pilled Godfather.
Yeah, Godfather of the Red Pill.
Oh yes, I do know who you're talking about.
He always wears a hat.
Yeah, he's cringe and weird looking.
Yeah, he's a Manosphere guy.
Rolo Tomasi.
Yes.
Not Tobin Abasi.
I don't think that's even his real name.
So he went after Isabella DeLuca and she found out, she found his daughter's Instagram and it was, it was not modest.
Yeah.
For the record, I enjoy modesty, too.
I just didn't think... Well, you and I differ on this.
Like, you don't like to rate girls and stuff like that.
I think it's perfect.
And so the ultimate question is, see if you can pull up this calendar, what is the difference between porn, like OnlyFans, and what is the difference between admiring beauty?
And I saw a great post about it today.
They show this picture called Paradise.
I think it's a biblical drawing.
And it's a man with his face in this woman's crotch.
And it says that the difference between porn and art is what it imbues.
Do you have feelings of vice or feelings of virtue?
And when I see that picture, I'm reminded of how much I love my wife.
And like my buddy Fred from Brooklyn said, he goes, I've been married 30 years and I wouldn't mind eating her out right now.
We were at Anthony Comey's house outside at a pool party and she was like across the table.
Yeah.
So I'm for this.
I don't consider this pornography and I know because it imbues feelings of virtue to me.
I think of how beautiful women are.
You can admire them.
I hope that's a woman.
Yeah, you never know what the conservative movement does.
Yeah, these days.
But a woman should be sexy and they should pose and you're at the prime of your life.
Yeah, get it.
Get it on paper.
Get it.
You're not going to look like that forever.
Record it.
And these don't make, here's how you can tell too, like say you look at a, follow a beautiful girl on Instagram.
Uh, if you catch yourself wondering what your life would be like with her, that's simping, right?
Like what if my wife died?
Maybe I could find her.
Just delete that account.
Stop following it.
But if you look at it and go, wow, she's fucking, what is it about that?
This is interesting.
You're almost looking at it like a gay.
Uh, basically if you don't get a boner, you're good.
I don't consider it conservative, though.
It's under the umbrella of conservatism, which I think it's—well, it's all—I mean, conservatism is not doing its job.
So you don't like this calendar?
You think it's bad?
I don't have strong feelings on it, but it's definitely—where I am in my life, I don't consider this a good thing.
I wouldn't own that.
But I don't really judge that harshly, either, because I don't see a lot of people being an exemplar—an exemplary example?
That's not a fucking thing.
Of, you know— Exemplary example.
Of sinless, trying to live a sinless life.
But that puts you in proximity to sin if you're weak for that sort of thing.
Go to the link between 44a and 45.
45, 45, 45.
It's between 40, 40, 45, 45.
Zoom out, obviously.
45, 44, it's between 40, 45, 45.
Zoom out, obviously.
Like, is this porn or is this beautiful?
It's pretty pointy.
It's a sexual act of cunnilingus and cunnilingus.
It's not cunnilingus.
Do you know where a pussy is?
Well, he could have his tongue.
Nope.
Touching the top part.
Maybe if it was a foot long.
Maybe he's got a foot long tongue.
Right.
Typical Ryan reasoning.
So let's look at some examples.
Like, sometimes I like looking at beautiful women on Instagram and I'm just amazed.
Like, I go, wow, this is a flawless young lady.
Huh.
I don't go back.
But like this chick on the right.
The one with the black shorts on?
Well, that and another touching each other's tits.
Yeah, in a jokey way.
They're rapping.
Girls hate toxic masculinity and all their music is singing about banging hoes and gagging on cocks and shooting up.
They love gangster rap and they hate masculinity.
Look at other pictures of her, though.
She's not wearing a bra.
Okay, let me see.
Oh, is this a sin?
Are you sinning right now, nerd?
No.
And it's not a nerd thing, it's a beautiful thing.
All the women in my church, they dress in dresses.
This would be hor- I couldn't even imagine.
I think you orthodox Muslims call this haram.
Will you just click on her fucking page?
Ooh, that's not a good one with the red hair.
Uh-oh.
She's imperfect.
Show another one.
See that?
Maybe she has a filter on.
But that, those, that role right there, that to me is a flawless female.
She's perfect.
She's being a slut.
What could you change?
If my daughter was doing this, I'd be very upset, and you would too.
Yeah, yeah, don't bring my daughter into any arguments.
Well, there's another human being made in the image and likeness of God, and she's not an object.
No, I don't think, well, some of those, a couple of those are a bit much.
This woman, 4'6", She's not a 10 like that one we just showed, but there's something bizarrely sexy about her.
Oh, this is the same one here?
What?
So we've got to move to 47.
Okay.
47.
Oh shit, did I get the wrong one?
Yeah, her.
She's very attractive, right?
Like, a computer would give her an 8, a 7.5.
But she's so... there's something about her face.
Obviously her giant tits rock.
But the sex appeal, click on any one of those.
Is it that sort of... there's a part of her that looks like you found her in the jungle or something?
Yeah, yeah.
She has an untamed look.
Now all her quotes are super pornographic, so this... like, I wouldn't recommend it culturally, but...
Like, I don't, I look at her and I go, when I look at her, I'm like, what is it about her that makes her so sexy?
It's like I'm analyzing it.
I'm not sitting there like, oh, well, maybe one day.
I was looking for the one where it was like kind of modest and she's like, well, it's coming off.
Or go to the next one.
Yoon Chae.
She's this girl from Korea who's considered ugly over there because she's thick.
But here she's a nine.
And I thought, uh, that's interesting.
I'm going to stop following her because now I'm drifting into simp territory.
But I'm like, that's interesting that in one country you're considered a fat pig and over here you're considered hot.
I wonder if that's black culture influencing aesthetics.
Let's go to another one.
Another hottie.
Just looking at hotties.
This is a news show.
Taking care of business.
Oh yeah, her.
That's who we're talking about.
She's a 10.
Guys, these days, you Zoomers are so weird with your ratings.
Like, they give her a 6.
I'm like, can I see who you're fucking?
Because by those standards, if that's a 6, you're fucking a .01.
And look, some sexy pics, some conservative content.
Who's the next one?
Oh this, Kim Taylor Bennett.
I remember I used to follow her like 15 years ago.
And I was like, uh, I'm simping.
I gotta quit.
But she's like perfect.
And her personality is good too.
And she's aged really well.
She's probably old now.
But when they have a, yeah, you're, this is something I, this is a woman I can't follow.
Cause it goes from admiring to like wondering what if, what if we were married?
So that's out.
That's a simp.
What's this one?
I just wrote this chick is insane.
Hot chicks.
Doesn't even have a name.
It's a new segment on the show.
My fucking heart is acting weird.
It's cause you're simping.
Oh yeah, she's just, she makes food.
She's an 8.8 that makes food.
Click on any one of those.
Turn it up.
I think she's Brazilian or something.
We put a deep sardine, a bunch of chow.
Gross.
Other countries' food is shitty.
And then the pasta, the chow.
A bunch of big olives you gotta chew on like they're fucking salty grapes.
Is that a fish?
Okay, let's power through these because I want to take calls.
What do you got there?
Oh, we should put the number up on the screen.
Ah, yes.
This, now this one, I consider this woman Unbelievably beautiful, but I understand it's a very acquired taste and my taste can get pretty weird.
This is like the gefilte fish.
I think she's like, uh, Kazakhstanian, you know, when Asia and Russia collide.
But like this woman is other world hot to me.
I don't even like the word hot.
She's stunningly beautiful.
She's magical.
Is that it?
I think so.
Is that five two?
Boy, the show's going by fast.
Yes, it is.
All right, well, you set up the shit.
I'm going to set up Jump Medic.
My daughter, when we were skiing, she had this freak accident where her ski dove into her she fell and her ski cut into her shin on her other leg.
Seven stitches, massive gouge, blood everywhere.
Damn.
And because Liam Neeson's wife died at Mont-Tremblant, they're really Focused on medical attention.
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And by the way, we had this in my Land Rover when we went at Mont Tremblant.
She got all bandaged up.
Then when She wanted to shower and stuff.
It had been a couple days.
So I took off the old bandage, it had blood on it, and I had the supplies to redress her wound after she had a shower.
You don't need it till you need it.
Okay, do we have any calls?
I put it out on Twitter, so if we don't have any calls, our show sucks and we're losers.
We have at least one so far.
Yes!
One!
You gotta turn on your migraphone.
La migra!
La migra!
Yeah, can you guys hear me?
Yeah, I can hear you.
How you doing?
Sup?
I'm doing great.
How you guys doing?
Pretty good, dude.
I'm not doing great.
My heart is going...
A quick question for Gava, because I know you've, uh, I just became a father of my second son, and I want to get some parenting advice on how you raise your children, because you said the first one you kind of let the system raise her.
Wondering how you, I guess, implemented your ideology with the next two, right?
When you're watching TV, are you just, like, shitting, like, shitting on a program saying, look at the smoke stuff?
Do you not let them watch woke crap?
Like, how did you go about I guess once you saw that, your daughter, you're like, I might lose this girl.
How did you go about raising your sons in the process after that?
Just so my kid doesn't turn out to be some like leftist freak.
Listen to Chris Plant in the car.
Go up, look up podcasts.
Chris Plant puts out 45 minutes a day.
When you're driving them to school, make sure that's playing.
That's how Lauren Southern got red-pilled.
Her dad would listen to conservative radio in the car.
When you're watching a movie, you don't want to ruin the movie, but make a mental note of how that's bullshit.
If they ever mention anything like the smallpox blankets, go, okay, that was a theory that someone suggested and then his superior said, nah, we're not going to get into chemical warfare.
We'll end up with smallpox.
When they talk about myths like they burned down Black Wall Street, you explain that that's a lie.
You explain that, you know, black people didn't invent the light bulb.
You got to watch it though, because if you come on too strong, they'll be like, oh, my dad's a racist.
So you've got to be sober about it, but if you just say, they'll find their way and if they want to help, if they need help, they'll come to me.
I did that with my daughter.
It was a mistake.
She just goes to someone else.
And that's the schools and the culture and, you know, rap.
So with my boys, I managed to get my boy at the last second.
And then with my 10 year old, he's like, he asks if something is woke before he sees it.
Cause he doesn't want to waste his time.
That's awesome.
The short answer is Chris Plant in the car.
And the long answer is just have your fucking radar out.
And if they talk about something like internment camps, my son brought home a book about internment camps and it's a graphic novel.
That's why he took it home because he's lazy, doesn't want to read a book.
And it was George Takai's version of what internment camps were.
And I was like, I gave him the Michelle Malkin book in defense of internment.
And I said, look, uh, Internment camps worked.
It was war.
There were spies.
We caught a ton of spies at these camps.
You are being lied to.
And I think there's an instinct in there where they kind of like that their teachers are morons.
So they want fodder to humiliate their teachers.
Like the fucking 40 acres and a mule.
You know what that was?
That was just a random suggestion some lieutenant in the army said.
He's like, they should probably get like, I don't know, like 40 acres and a mule?
It was not a promise from the government.
And they need to know that.
These teachers don't know that.
So thanks for calling.
Yeah.
Hey, thank you.
He got the fade.
Dude, I'm not doing well.
What do you mean?
Oh, with the heart thing?
This is exactly what, uh, Anthony described.
He said he started getting palpitations.
Pal- well it's pal- I'm not going to correct you if you're having a heart thing.
You want water?
What is it?
Paltipation?
Palpitations.
What did I say?
Palpitations.
Which would be a little different pieces.
It's a different pronunciation of an A. It's a tomato tomato.
Palpitations.
Paul.
You ever heard of Pauler?
Oh, I see.
Speaking of Pauler, do I look pale?
I don't- I guess not.
Do you want water?
Ugh.
Oh, you're holding your heart and everything.
Wow.
Let's get you water.
I don't want water.
It's like regular terrain, but gay.
Gay-ray?
I want a gay-ray.
No?
Oh.
What if you lay down on that thing?
Is it that bad?
Dude, I think you're going to drive me to click.
I don't have my car.
Should I stop the stream?
We'll call an ambulance.
Okay, I'm having trouble seeing.
Alright, we'll take a seat.
Or lay down.
That's what I was thinking.
You just lay down on that thing.
Okay, uh, keep the show going.
Maybe it'll get better.
I'm gonna lie down for a bit and, I don't know, take calls or... Oh, fuck.
How's your breathing?
It's short.
Go, go, uh, end the freak part.
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